#theres no need to fucking yell
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June Bug for pride month
#my art#im adding tags to this since little to no one is gonna see them#i painted this a few days ago and had shown my mom a few reference images#and she notoriously does not like june bugs but thought that the images i was using were cute#she was suprised that they were 'actually that cute' in regards to their faces and behaviour#today she went to show my stepdad images of june bugs like 'ill show you they can be cute. Gabe showed me cute ones'#spoiler alert: when you look up images of june bugs. most of them arent traditionally cute.#so she starts yelling at me 'why did you lie?! they arent actually cute! i knew i was right to hate them: theyre ugly!'#like im sorry the only images that show up when you google them are from websites like 'how to kill junebugs'#and im able to go to blogs and inat to find people who actually take the time to show their cute sides#theres no need to fucking yell#and also. if something being ugly or annoying is grounds to hate them then she would not resist fascist propaganda
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ms jay herself (and apple)
#ive been grappling with her design the most i feel.... i need it to be good enough for her 😭😭😭 ily jay ilysm wehhghghhhh#dude drawing the pin i realized just how much circles dont exist to me. theyve disappeared from my art completely. fuck you circles. fuck y#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#jrwi apple#i will tag every little critter ok it just feels right#my art#ok theres one bastard left i will deal with him.. later. maybe tmrw#fuck i got to the part where he gets some tats hhhgotta figure out how i wanna draw those#jay bad posture while tinkering is real to me. shes all hunched. shes shrimping.#she tinkers at night while the others r sleeping n she stretches n yells n wakes them up#guys i love drunk jay so much.... when her and lizzie got plastered... so good...........
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something something kate stewart seeing her childhood hero who she loves like a second father treat her coworker as completely disposeable and sending him to his death just bc they were distracted by something More Important changing her forever
#kate lethbridge stewart#doctor who#this needs to come up again she needs to start yelling#witnessing that fucked her up BAD#like no theres a billion things she didnt trust abt the doctor before this but she did trust them to value a life over an answer#not anymore#the legend of ruby sunday#dw spoilers
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#tv: sga#rodney mckay#stargate atlantis#my gifs#just rodney always being the most brave when it comes to his friends#tho honestly#i think in some ways fandom has ruined me bc theres a lot less coward/weak moments than i was expecting#so i think its one of those moments where i may need to go back to the canon source and remind myself fanon is not always right#i also think its interesting to think about rodney being brave for himself#and brave for others#because hes always a lot more inclined to be yell-y and stuff when hes being brave to save himself#but when hes being brave for his friends?#hes focused#he's intent and hes gonna fucking help them#my brave little toaster i love him so much
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me taking so long to get chapter two of destiny going bc i am slow tm and also keep getting distracted with the totk rewrite and my stupid gamedev dreams has the additional negative side effect that by now the happiness, motivation and feelings of validation i got from tags on my comic work has basically run out and now i have to keep working on it through sheer determination (and spite) alone q^q
#ganondoodles talks#if i dont get the rough draft done this month you have my permission to yell at me#i know alot of you are very patient but like#THAT COMIC IS LONG AS FUCK#i NEED to keep going bc theres so many parts i wanna show people#and just describing it doesnt cut it#my goal with the comic is to make people at least feel a sliver of the feelings i have about hylia and demise#and theres so much to unpack there#half of which isnt even mentioned in the comic itself or just vaguely hinted at#i could make an entire comic JUST for demise's backstory#gnawing on my table as we speak#i just hope theres anyone left still interested
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i hated men already but the hatred hits different once you start working in a male dominated field
#like i didnt expect sports photography to be 50/50 but jesus christ#ive had this job since march and theres always other photographers at games and literally only two of them have been women#its always a fucking middle aged white man#and bc of this no one fucking realizes im a professional photographer!!!!!!! they all think im one of the students!!!!!!#i HATE men i HATE male photographers theyre all pretentious assholes#need chappell roan to yell at some of the photographers i work with#i have four days off after tonight praise fucking god im so tired
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"wdym you don't know him he's your 'aunts' son" I have literally never met or heard of this guy in my life and I only see the 'aunt' once a year
Like I haven't even met him as a kid this is just a random adult man I do not know
#random#we haven't even gone out to dinner yet and mum has already called me rude#bc the second i walked into the house i had 5 different people talking to me#and i got hugged by like three people so i got overstimulated even faster than i thought i would#and i panicked and went to my room to calm down but my grandad followed me bc he wanted to ask me more questions#but i got to sit alone for like 5 minutes before my mum came in and told me i cant be rude and i need to try to be nice today#but her opinion of being rude is just me ignoring all my boundaries/discomfort/anxiety so I'm going to get yelled at#and like i said we haven't even gone out yet so theres a pretty high chance im going to start crying in front of my entire family#and that'll make me even more overstimulated so fucking yay#vent post#in the tags mostly#sorry for the rant
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head hurty
#was up so fucking late last night stressed out of my mind#cause it turns out all the stress and sacrifices i made for the foundational course i took??#all for fucking nothing#''the waitlist hasn't moved.'' yeah cause y'all brought in way more foundations students#than u actually had the diploma course space for#and like. theres nothing else i can fucking do.#if i try to get into a university i'd have to do something like a foundations course all over again#and have to do a bunch of shit i have no interest/talent in in order to get to the stuff i DO have interest/talent in#which is just fucking stupid. why the fuck is it set up like that.#if i'm trying to get into a uni creative writing course why the FUCK do i need to take SCIENCE#and i can't do online courses that are just writing. cause i can't fucking FOCUS in an online course#and any other course i might be interested in are in schools that are too damn far away and that i cant afford#so basically. i can do fucking nothing.#but once i tell my parents that the waitlist hasn't moved and that im definitely not gonna make it in#they're going to start HOUNDING me. even more than they already constantly do#im gonna have to sit through 3 hours of them yelling at me to ''stop pretending to be an idiot'#and to ''pull my life together''#and that ''everyone has to do stuff they don't like sometimes''#(yeah well my brain doesn't work like that. if i dont like the subject of the course i literally CAN'T LEARN)#(i will just straight up not retain any of the information and just be annoyed and stressed and upset the whole time)#and my parents will tell me im gonna end up living under a bridge for the thousandth time#and then they'll threaten to kick me out of the house/take away my internet for the millionth time#and then this will happen every day until i get into SOMETHING
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8.9K WORD GHOSTKNIFE ONESHOT IMPENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I WROTE THAT IN A FUCKING FRENZY#will post tomorrow perhaps#or tonight!! who knows#i need 2 read over it first but holy shit bro i slammed that out like a man POSSESSED!!!!!!!#it's not JUST ghostknife theres a lot of clingy codependent prime defenders in general#but ghostknife. is a big part of it#post greyscale ghostknife who agrees raise ur hand!!!!!!!!!!!!#whiskey yelling into the void
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begging people to learn the difference between mental illnesses and neurodevelopmental disorders. all the traits that are a direct product of my neurodevelopmental disorders are not symptoms. i cannot fix them. they will never go away. you won't ask someone with chronic migraines to just stop feeling pain, don't ask me to learn how to do things that my brain physically cannot do.
start supporting weird people, the freaks, the ones that are too loud or too quiet, the ones that don't fit in and don't talk or move or behave the way you think they should. stop trying to expect people to fit your mold of what someone should be like, your standards are all fine and dandy but disabled people will not be able to live up to them and we shouldn't have to to be respected
#alex yells at the void#this post is sponsored by the profound social isolation and ostracisation i pulled by being too fucking autistic to be liked#yes i was bullied all throughout school why do you ask /j#im tired im tired im tired#theres a difference between making an effort in relationships and having to twist yourself into shapes to make people like you#if you dont like me kindly fuck off im done trying to change myself#i already hate myself down to the bone and youre not helping also my therapist says im fine the way i am and dont need to change#so fuck you signed by my therapist
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The thing that gets me about Mahiru is how they sneak in her tragedy, as opposed to some of the other characters. Like a lot of them have really blatant horror/tragedy from the beginning, but Mahiru's tale is hinted at until it smacks you in the face.
Aw, she's in love and blinded by love and would do anything for it, okay! Aw, she copies everything her lover does, even if it doesn't serve herself, like the silly scene with the bread, or the running, or the smoking, huh! Aw, she's willing to forgive someone that almost killed her because she feels so strongly that people should stick to acting on what they believe, wow!
And you can tell somethings a little fucked up but all at once it hits you like,
She's blinded by love and would sacrifice anything -- wait, anything? She copies everything.... so if her lover suggested he wanted to..... then she'd want to.... oh, oh no...... Surely she'd talk him out of-- unless she believes people should do what they have their heart set on, oh fuck.... But she's so full of life and excitement! Surely she wouldn't have made the decision to join h-- except, wait -- she'd do anything for love
#milgram#mahiru shiina#I AM UNWELL ABOUT HER#can you imagine planning your own suicide but its not even your idea??? you didnt really want to??? youre doing it for someone else?????#and not in a self sacrificial way??? just because thats what lovers do -- they do everything together?????#and the thought wouldnt even cross her mind to stop it!!!!! because she doesnt want to impose on what hes set out to do!!!!!!#AHHHHH#i know we dont have set facts but it really seems like an attempted lovers suicide#theres the horror of 'she literally helped a man commit suicide instead of saving him' joined with the fact that#SHE volunteered for death when she didnt have to At All because thats what she thought a good woman should do FUCK#(because he probably wasnt even planning on it for any relationship reasons! it was likely completely separate mental issues)#but she put herself in the equation because thats what lovers do right?#i dont know if this is collected enough but i just needed to yell for a sec :(((#tw suicide#rose posts
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if ppl telling you "jewish ppl in israel were already kicked out of other countries and have no where else to go" makes you feel compelled to call whoever said that a "zionist", I really just dont think you give af about jewish ppl's lives quite frankly.
if your "free palestine" means "getting rid" of all jewish civilians in israel I think you're probably just a heartless asshole.
#two state solution ftw#or at least something along those lines#yelling at average jewish ppl who ARENT in israel is antisemitic#anti semitism- no matter how 'big of a deal' you think it is naturally makes jewish ppl feel unsafe by default#where do they go when theres nowhere else thats safe? you guessed it- probably to israel.#which is WHAT netanyahu wants. he wants scared controllable civilians to think hes the only one who can protect them#so you being anti semitic and not checking yourself on it or being 'whatever its nbd' about it is making everything so much worse#STOP BEING SO FUCKING APATHETIC FUCK ILL BEAT YOU UP TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING IF I HAVE TO#i dont feel like i can in good conscious reblog your 'free palestine' posts bc idk wtf the op thinks about jewish ppl being in#israel. and at this point i dont have faith in leftists to not notice the antisemitism in some of these ppl and call it out#its not something we can 'push aside and deal with and apologize for later' its ACTIVELY MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE AND NEEDS#TO BE ADDRESSED RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#maybe jewish ppl wouldnt be calling it 'self defense' if yall didnt keep being antisemitic and making them feel like they have to cling#to israel to stay tf alive. fuck.#OBVIOUSLY the response to what hamas did is disproportionate and affecting more people than israel says it intends to target#but thats the govt. and actual regular people are worried about their families. its disproportionate and probably being used as an excuse#to genocide palestinians but this wouldnt be happening if hamas didnt basically GIVE the israeli govt the excuse to do it.#free palestine. from hamas and from the israeli govt. and dont have genocidal intent toward jewish ppl.#thats all i want.#hamas' escalation did nothing but hurt everyone and make things worse especially for palestinians.
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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
#a biscuit's rambles#also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great#also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe#idk#i also like my bike. a lot#been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets#EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE#AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY#LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT#A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY#AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU#ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS#MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN#ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER#fun fact i have been run over before#just fuckin collided with a car#nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt#which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol#though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL#also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY#AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS#I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK#AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE#THROUGH MYSELF#im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be
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genuinely wondering where some of the ph-specific misinformation comes from
#bc based on how prevalent these things are and people talking about them like theyre canon details#theyre more likely straight up misinfo rather than headcanon. and i fucking hate it lol#cuz its like. yeah thats a less known less popular loz game but theres still like. you can look shit up#it makes it feel like theres a rlly dismissing attitude towards it like eh dont need to check im sure this is true#like ofc the whole oh the world of the ocean king is a dream work is a massive thorn in my side bc it ISNT#but also likr. ohhhhh link is given the ability to see and speak with ghosts in ph… no???? no.#theyre just there. you walk up to them and you can just interact with ghosts literally nothing suggests this is some power#ciela can see them fine and its straight up not brought up. id have to double check but i think some of the ghosts in the ocean king temple#mention interacting with other ghosts before dying its just A Thing you can do its fucking loz we got walking skeletons#you can talk to the ghosts. and if it is link specific then its not smth he got as a result of or during ph#literally the first thing he does when he walks into that temple is talk to a ghost he can just do that at the least#will prolly delete this later this is just me yelling at clouds bc i dont have other outlets
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for FUCK sake what do i have to do to find bottom gortash content on this site???? do i have to do EVERYTHING myself around here????
#so yeah i played baldurs gate 3#theres where i been#just finished it about 2 hours ago and im not fucking ok#anyone wana yell at me about it in my inbox go ahead#but right now i need a gortash fix#him sucking banes dick or something#enver gortash#baldurs gate 3
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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