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moonbaby26 · 1 month ago

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Title: Trust

(Chapter 19 of Doflamingo’s Marine Series)

*Crossposted to AO3 Here*

Chapter Pairings: Doflamingo x Reader, Smoker x Reader (in the past)

Chapter Warnings: language, toxic relationships, Doflamingo is still insane, breeding kink

Chapter Synopsis: As the marines begin to react further in response to Doflamingo’s public ensnarement of you and their true helplessness in it all, the warlord still grapples with the mistakes of his past that he now refuses to repeat.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Fic Masterlist

——————————

Only once in Sengoku’s life could he remember ever truly yelling at this woman. And he’d had tears running down his face the night that he’d done so.

Five years ago, when they’d also been on the phone together, oceans apart much like they were now.

And to his shame, in the grief of that moment, Sengoku had had the gall to accuse Tsuru of holding back. He’d told her that her softness had allowed Doflamingo one too many second chances.

Sengoku had blamed her for still wishing to save what was already long gone within that boy, and thereby enabling every subsequent tragedy which followed from his actions.

He remembered yelling that it should have been Doflamingo lying cold and dead two decks below her in that makeshift morgue on her warship, and not his precious Rosinante instead.

He’d berated a woman he trusted more than any other in this world. As if she hadn’t been sitting there in silence with that very same pain in her heart that night.

Sengoku had been too consumed in his own emotions then, when it’d only been Tsuru who had had to personally oversee the retrieval of the body once Doflamingo’s ship had again escaped over the horizon.

Only she had been the one barking orders at her entirely confused crew. Telling them to treat a former Donquixote executive’s remains with care befitting one of their own as they’d unknowingly dug Sengoku’s adopted son from the still falling snow with their bare hands.

“I gave you as many days as I could.” Is what she told him now.

And her voice was as cold as that snow must have been then. Though she still didn’t yell at him in the way he deserved. Tsuru didn’t return that cruelty that he’d given her those years ago.

Not yet.

The fleet admiral’s eyes were closed behind his glasses in guilt regardless. His forehead rested against his hand in his disgust for what these webs had really become.

Somehow they had all become entwined.

Somehow this nightmare had still never stopped.

Rosinante had sworn to him that he would not go back to his brother in the end. Because they had all known the danger and most likely final result.

And Tsuru had never expected you to have needed to make that same promise to them.

Rosinante had gone to Minion Island willingly. Just as you’d gone to Scylla, specifically requesting leave there that Momonga hadn’t known enough to deny.

And Doflamingo had been ready and waiting both times.

Neither you or Rosinante had left that devil again after stepping willfully back into his strings.

And why?

Why could Doflamingo never be sated? Why did it always have to be those that they already loved that he took?

“Every day, Tsuru. Every day I have been asking the Five Elders of when enough is enough. Or even for them to give me a single goddamn reason. A reason of why he’s now become this untouchable.”

Sengoku had taken all the criticism from his admirals, from Garp, and from Tsuru. But he had never stopped working towards a resolution behind the scenes.

Because this was so deeply personal.

It didn’t matter that you were only a captain, only a single marine in his ranks of thousands.

He’d never wanted Tsuru to have to go through this as he had with Rosinante.

But today’s newspaper and the lies within had been her final straw.

This phone line was encrypted. But it may not have mattered today. She was that furious.

“I want you to understand that this call is simply a courtesy. I will not be returning to HQ. I will not be maintaining the blockade here. Cipher Pol is welcome to keep chasing my ship as they see fit. But we’re crossing the calm belt and heading for Dressrosa.”

His most steadfast vice admiral was now abandoning her post in Lyra.

“I’ll deal with Cipher Pol.” Sengoku muttered. He’d have to lie that he had given her specific orders to leave.

Lyra was still under full World Government quarantine. No one was allowed in or out as they finished whatever bioweapon testing they’d really chosen that island and its rebels as horrific test subjects for.

Tsuru had hated that too of course, as anyone with a soul should.

But this additional stress with Doflamingo had broken what remained of that dam and all she’d been holding in. She would not be cooperating a moment further.

“I also want you to check with Mariejois for a marriage registration in his name. I suspect he’s already signed her over to him if he was willing to make this public declaration and antagonize us outright this way.”

Sengoku’s eyes finally opened again there.

He also knew Tsuru well enough to understand that the false calmness as she said these things meant nothing of her true intentions.

“And if he has done that…what are you going to do with that information?” He asked her with the tension far clearer in his own tone.

The silence hung for a moment.

“You understand what he’s really doing, don’t you?” Her voice sounded briefly more cutting there.

“I don’t try to understand the reasonings of the insane.” Sengoku’s bitterness was reemerging as well.

An enemy would always be an enemy. And Sengoku lived for the day that Doflamingo’s immunity would finally fail him.

But that day was not today.

“He lost his previous marine. By his own hand.” Tsuru said next, somber but factual.

An assumption they always knew must be true. Though Doflamingo had never once confessed to Rosinante’s murder to them outright.

“He thinks she’s strong enough to survive his madness where so many others have not. He’s betting on that. Because he’s terrified of ending up alone. He always has been.” She said so surely, with that additional impatience that meant she would be hanging up momentarily.

The fleet admiral’s eyes narrowed. But he knew it was already futile. He could stop his own admirals easier than he could this woman once she had made up her mind.

“And how do you know this isn’t exactly what he wants you to do, Tsuru? Just to draw you in as well?”

“I’m an old woman. So it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not letting her endure this alone. Just be ready to mobilize if the winds change in Mariejois.” Her finality was clear.

And it still hurt. Be it today, five years ago, ten years ago, twenty, or more. Sengoku had lost too many loved ones already.

One day she wouldn’t come back to him either.

This was the way of their world.

“Be safe, Tsuru-chan.” Sengoku’s voice quieted. “Please.”

The snail’s eyes looked out in that knowing silence.

“You know my answer to that.” She spoke one last time before hanging up.

And he could only smirk sadly. “I do.”

Sengoku, Garp, and Tsuru had once considered themselves a trio. They used to laugh about inescapable danger.

Death will come when my purpose is done.

That had been their irreverent rhyme of a saying. One far easier said in the arrogance of youth. And not from the aged veterans they’d become, just trying to protect their vulnerable seeds of the future.

——————————

“Oh, boo hoo! Just get over it already! If you didn’t want to share your notes, then you should have encrypted your data better!” Caesar’s golden eyes had gleamed as he floated closer, the newspaper still spread taut within his grip.

He was grinning too, flipping through the pages again and the pictures that graced them. “What a lovely couple! So how could you be so selfish as to not grant their hearts’ desire?”

Vegapunk made another disinterested noise, looking through large goggles and still trying to resume the experiment he had so frustratingly been interrupted from when Caesar had first burst into his lab.

“If you had any ethics or common sense at all, you would drop this subject immediately. It’s not our place to interfere in something like that.” The older scientist tried to rebuff again.

“You think I don’t have common sense!?” Caesar’s voice was immediately more grating as his thin lips moved back into a scowl.

“I look the other way repeatedly for you,” Vegapunk reminded, already used to these theatrics from the other. Though still watching the beaker in front of him as its contents began to change in density and color.

“I’ve ignored your greed and resulting moonlighting of still selling illicit compounds right from our backdoor. As well as your questionable tastes in companionship at all hours in your quarters. Your ‘socializing’ is quite loud and distracting.” Vegapunk also criticized.

Caesar blinked. So what? When he did have escorts over to visit from Dressrosa, they were paid very well for their trip. And he’d be damned if after spending that much of his payments from Joker on such entertainment, that he would have just let those women lay in his bed quietly.

“Ugh, spare me your false modesty! You dirty old hypocrite.” Caesar clucked, waving a gloved hand dismissively even as he now floated to Vegapunk’s other side like an insistent child.

“These two are my friends, I’m telling you. And they are desperate to start a family!” He just went on, then trying to shove the newspaper in front of the other scientist again.

“I already read it.” Vegapunk responded flatly. “And you don’t have any friends. I know Doflamingo must be your client. There is no other reason for you to be as fixated as you are with him. Money and cruelty are the only things which have ever enticed you to this degree.”

“Well he enjoys my creativity! And he knows a real genius when he sees one!” Caesar didn’t even bother to fully deny the accusation that time. If Vegapunk really was going to tattle on him just for taking money under the table, he already would have. Though Caesar was sure even Dr. Vegapunk didn’t know all the things they’d been cooking up together.

“He’s just using you. And you’re insecure enough to encourage it.”

“He is not just-” Caesar’s quick temper nearly got away from him all the way there, before he briefly bit his own lip to stop it. “Okay, fine! Doflamingo wants a child with her. I don’t even know this girl or care what she thinks! But look at the full picture. What happens to queens that don’t hold up their end of the bargain in giving a man like that his heirs?”

Caesar rather gleefully made an exaggerated pantomime of moving his finger in a sharp slice against his own throat to this.

And finally, only at that insinuation of barbarism to a supposed innocent like yourself, did Vegapunk actually look him in the eyes. Secretly sympathetic as that fool could often be.

“And how could I trust he wouldn’t still harm her regardless?” The older man asked, rightfully skeptical.

“Because it doesn’t matter of course! Doflamingo will be here tomorrow night to pick this up either way!” Caesar exclaimed, lifting the small vial he’d already made from his gaseous coat pocket.

“But my serum for her will be meaningless if he isn’t capable of delivering on the other half of the equation!” Caesar attempted to reiterate that need for urgency as well. “After all these years of working together, you’re really just going to leave me hanging like this, Vegapunk?”

“You should be embarrassed is what you should be. You got yourself into this mess. And now you come to my lab, interrupting me just to admit you don’t know how to mitigate something as simple as varicoceles in the testes?” Vegapunk asked with further incredulousness.

Yet Caesar ignored that heavier insult just this once, eyes widening as he pointed at the other scientist instead. “Aha! So you did already look at the data to figure out a solution! I knew it! Your ego couldn’t help it, could it? You prideful monster!”

“Of course I can correct it! At least temporarily at least. His lineage factors are a mess of recessive alleles.” Vegapunk did look properly shamed for only that moment to be so called out though. “But how far were you planning on going? What’s in your serum that could conflict with mine if I do make one? Is this full blown eugenics?“

Caesar paused, his seeming victory only weakened in his belated realization that Vegapunk may have indeed noticed more disfunction in Doflamingo’s bloodline than he had at first glance.

But Caesar would never admit aloud that his own concoction could be even further insufficient then. Yet he knew just how to give Vegapunk that extra, personal investment to do the rest of the hard work for him.

“He was aware of Vinsmoke’s wife.” Caesar admitted abruptly there, feigning an extra somber expression even if this was actually the truth. “And Doflamingo was explicit about wanting both his baby and the womb owner to survive without permanent damage this time. So I’d say whatever it takes to ensure that.”

Vegapunk lifted up his goggles then, watching the gas logia user carefully. Those stressed brow lines were now wrinkling all the way up the older scientist’s unnaturally large forehead.

He had indeed taken that emotional bait when it came to thinking of Sora’s death.

A tragedy that his weaker heart did not think worth repeating.

“If you’re going to be like Judge to do this to some poor woman either way…it might as well be safe. Give me your serum so I can analyze it. I’ll come up with something.” Vegapunk sighed.

And Caesar smiled.

It really was too easy.

—————————

The sun was beating down by midday. Hot and relentless, just the way Doflamingo wanted it to be for this as he stretched his long legs across your lap, relaxing on his outdoor couch together by the pool.

At least he was relaxing anyway. You were quite a different story.

You hadn’t yet recovered from his confessions of this morning. And well…also from the totality of every other thing that had occurred from the moment he’d first kissed your hand in front of those camera flashes in the bloodied ballroom in Scylla to today.

And it had only been days, not weeks since then. But he lived a fast paced life.

One which you were now living too.

The newspaper had finally come as well, just as over the top and simultaneously aghast and excited by his manufactured drama as expected. The world would be salivating to see the navy’s next official reaction to your and his sordid love story he was sure.

But you’d refused to read a word of it yet.

Just as you also refused the untouched food still on the tray in front of you.

Only Doflamingo and his crew ate. Enjoying lunch and drinks as he took a few more phone calls while the other Donquixote members either sunbathed or played cards in the shade beneath the archways.

He’d left the palace gates closed. There were no money hungry sycophants in their little string bikinis bouncing around to distract him today.

He already had the pretty toy he wanted most right now.

Though you had needed a bit of help. He’d made you change out of the ugly clothes he knew you’d been hiding your wounds in this morning.

So you were currently in a very short sundress he’d chosen instead. One he could tell you hated as his gaze rarely left your more exposed figure and bared shoulders while he talked on the phone.

He didn’t conduct any business conversations he was too concerned with you hearing though. He made sure of that. It was mostly just receiving flattery as other high ranking contacts of his called to offer their mix of congratulations and surprise.

Everyone wanted to know a wedding date. They wanted to know his next move with the marines. And if they knew him even a little better than most, then they were trying to get a sense of his motives too.

What was in it for Joker?

Surely Donquixote Doflamingo didn’t have a heart.

They all knew he already had money, power, and more lovers waiting in the wings than he could possibly run his cock through on any given night.

So what the hell could a random marine provide to him now?

And such burning curiosity about you apparently extended to his uninvited guests as well, just as Doflamingo had ended another call, returning the receiver back to his snail beside him.

The Tontattas had been especially bold ever since your arrival in Dressrosa. As if they really thought he hadn’t noticed their little scouts flitting about more and more often.

Target practice was all he’d call them whenever they failed to stay on his blind side though. And he enjoyed the way he did see you startle as that bullet string left his fingertip without warning.

The resulting pop of the then exploding terracotta roof tile he’d hit had his officers looking briefly skyward as well.

But there was no blood spatter running down the eaves this time, a rare miss for him.

“Just clearing some of the bigger bugs we get around here.” Doflamingo chuckled as his vague explanation to you anyway, kicking his shoes off then as he kept his legs still across your thighs. “They’re a nuisance.”

“I didn’t see anything.” You said quietly. The first words you’d spoken in a few hours at least.

“They’re fast.” He answered simply, albeit smiling just to hear your voice again.

It was true he hadn’t intended to have this morning go as oddly as it had with you.

But he hadn’t expected to find your tired eyes boring through him just like his brother’s used to either. Only complimented by the haunting smell of the cigarette smoke as it’d drifted from you like a vengeful ghost, there to grab a hold of him as soon as he’d reentered his suite.

It was too many memories for him, too many feelings all at once. And things had just started falling from his lips afterward.

He’d told you how you did remind him of Corazon.

And how he couldn’t lose that twice.

How badly he wanted his blood family back.

And how he would make you be the means to that end in any way necessary.

But he hadn’t yet taken your contraceptive pills away either. Because you were this stressed already, even with you believing there was still more time for you.

He’d let you think you were still being protected by those pills for now. Not so much as a real mercy to you, but more because he wanted you to eat again. He needed you to relax again.

So that he could have you functioning to do what he needed to do with you. It made his life easier if you weren’t in a full blown breakdown twenty-four seven.

Though since you were already this upset this morning. There was one other thing he’d planned to now get out of the way as he felt that first bead of sweat running down his chest in this oppressive heat.

Doflamingo smiled wider at you as he slid his legs back off of your lap for his bare feet to meet the warm ground.

This dangerous idea was yet another reason he’d shut everyone but his most trusted out of the courtyard now.

“I think we should cool off, love.” He said so casually then too. His head turning to look briefly towards that tranquil water which sparkled in the sunlight without a soul yet within it.

And his sunglasses were just as reflective as that deep water when he looked back to you. You and the dark realization already beginning across your own face while his hand grazed your bandaged thigh.

That wrapping would just have to be redone again.

“I’ll get in if you do.” He promised then, but unable to keep the cruelty from his resulting smirk either. You were just too smart as he saw the correct assumption fill your eyes, hungover or not. You were learning the proper times to assume the worst in his intentions.

“But yes…you first. I want to see you swim for me.” He confirmed as his smirk grew into a grin.

“You already know I’m not a devil fruit user. A test isn’t necessary.” Came your first attempt at argument regardless.

And he’d known it would be this way. He had no illusions of you going easily to anything right now.

His executives were already getting up though, listening to you both as they began to spread out around the pool.

He had warned them of this earlier.

“Just like we knew my brother wasn’t hiding a power from us either?” Doflamingo tutted at you anyway. “Official records can lie, darling. And you’re so good at what you do. I just need to be sure this time. I’d hate to ever carry doubt of my own wife…that’d just be miserable for me.”

For him.

At least he said it out loud this time.

Because his own emotions were all he thought of as he refused any further stalling on your part. The sooner this was over, the faster he could return to the pleasure he wanted.

“I’ll be waiting for you on the steps. That will be your only way out.” Doflamingo spoke so calmly, even as he’d yanked you off that couch by your arm when he’d stood.

And you’d still almost set him off balance in return when the struggle began. No small feat for someone already injured and only partly his size. But his strings pulled your legs out from under you with equal vigor before you could kick him.

He had to be fast, very fast, throwing you before your strong grip could get a solid hold on him either.

There was no guilt in him either of course. No matter how many times you’d already gotten further upset over this exact kind of rough treatment.

Part of his shirt sleeve which you’d ripped still ended up in the pool however. Floating, torn on the water’s surface once that large splash collapsed back in on itself after you’d hit the water.

“She sank!” Trebol exclaimed, sounding delighted.

“Everyone does at first. It’s whether she comes back up or not.” Diamante answered slightly more sensibly, but looking at the still rippling water with an eager anticipation all his own.

Doflamingo knew there was some jealousy at play in their excitement of course. They thought you hadn’t yet earned your place at his side.

And only they’d seen the mess he’d really been after Rosinante. To which they’d all vowed never again.

They had every right to be this overprotective of him now.

Doflamingo’s own grin had vanished with your body as he’d stalked the edge of the pool in that brief time between. His height giving him an excellent vantage point while the still disturbed water now lapped the sides.

“How long do you want to wait, Doffy?” Pica was the only one already sounding anxious by comparison. Pica’s devil fruit could lift the entire courtyard, and dump all that water in an instant if his master only bid it.

“Her wounded leg certainly won’t help her. Give it a little longer.” Doflamingo answered firmly.

He couldn’t let them rush things. Because this trial was actually two fold after all.

Part one was just to clear the last of his anxiety of your hiding any secrets like his last Corazon.

And part two…

“Remember, if she comes up at any of the sides, don’t let her out. She only leaves the pool through me.” Doflamingo reminded his men as he now removed the rest of his torn shirt.

He had seen the warped shape of you finally moving along the bottom. You weren’t paralyzed, though he hadn’t truly expected you to be. His stress could now shift to what he had to do next to himself.

His men hadn’t liked this portion of the plan earlier when he’d said it in private. And they certainly didn’t enjoy seeing it in action now as Doflamingo first stepped off the side and onto the underwater stairs which led to the pool’s bottom.

But he’d timed it well, wading in only in his capris pants. The cooler water was all the way to his knees just as your head at last broke the surface.

You looked initially furious of course. Spitting out water and barely staying afloat, fighting your weakened leg just as he’d thought while you kicked hard to stay upright. Your feet were nowhere near the bottom in that deepest section of the pool.

And just as you’d spun to curse or even fight one of them, his breath had caught as he felt the paralysis begin through his own lower body all at once when the water met his thighs.

Doflamingo’s power was fully ripped away as he landed on his ass on one of those submerged steps. The water then up to his chest so quickly as he panted, his weight falling back just enough to touch his shoulders to the pool wall.

He’d barely managed to keep his arms above the water. Now only able to move them weakly as they laid limply stretched on either side of him along the pool’s edge.

This was much deeper than the time he’d sat in the bath with you. That time had only made him feel pleasantly sluggish on top of disconnecting from his devil fruit.

But right now, he couldn’t even have stood up if he’d tried.

And if he slipped further down or fell forward instead…

“So you can swim.” Doflamingo spoke through his now labored breathing, forcing a smile regardless of that near atrophy then spreading into his chest muscles.

There was still a very specific high in this for him of course. The rush of experiencing such primal fear he rarely got to play with. Not when he was so much stronger than anyone else he normally faced.

His crew was horror stricken to silence however. But the executives were keeping the officers dutifully back. Letting their insane master do as he wished. Even if it meant now handing himself to you on a platter just to see your reaction.

This second test was him wishing to confirm that additional difference between you and his brother in the end.

And all the more reason he really had thrown you into the deep as violently as he could.

Because humans showed their true colors most in times of duress. And he already had an idea of what you really were.

But he wanted to show the others. And he wanted to remind himself after he’d briefly seen his brother staring back at him this morning.

“The fuck.”

He saw you mouth those two words more than you actually said them as you finally saw him and his too precarious placement on those steps.

Your eyes narrowed and you took a sharp breath before going immediately back under.

It was easier for you to swim just beneath the surface, not fighting to keep yourself above it as the shape of you then moved towards him quicker than even he’d expected.

And he could still feel everything so acutely too as his body beautifully suffered. Your soft hands as they opened against his bare chest. Your knees as they bumped against his inner thighs.

You emerged right in front of him in no time at all, shoving him to put his back harder against that pool wall. The texture was so rough, scraping against his shoulders as he breathed louder.

“Was I already slipping, my love?” Doflamingo asked, trying to keep his head raised to watch you as a chuckle rumbled through him. You were fully holding his torso up by then.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!? You think this shit is funny!?” You bitched loud enough that every member of his crew surely heard you that time.

And it was a little frustrating to him, not to be able to just kiss you then and there with that lovely fear still in your eyes.

But he couldn’t move his body enough to do it. So he had to settle for another intoxicated smile instead. He couldn’t get enough of you like this.

“You surpass every expectation…you really do.” He tried to purr through his panting.

Because he knew it.

It wasn’t just about this silly game for you. It wasn’t anything about this goddamn pool at all really.

Your eyes said everything you were feeling.

And so Doflamingo laughed, even as your smaller arms tried to catch under his and force him up one stair step at a time. Wet skin to wet skin as you fought his dead weight with no help from his crew.

Donquixote Doflamingo could make anyone do anything. He could beat them, break them, cut them, or shoot them.

But he couldn’t make someone care.

Not the way you did, so naturally and sincerely.

You were too obvious, and he was loving every moment even as his back finally fell out flat and hard to the ground. Laying beside the pool with only his legs then still in the water as you nearly fell on top of him after forcing him out.

“You are too damn big! You fucking asshole!” You were breathing harder, in clear pain for the unexpected exertion you’d just endured.

No, you were not at all the next Rosinante in his mind at least.

Because your feelings for him were different than that, and his anxiety of this morning had finally quieted in this affirmation.

The heated air now against Doflamingo’s skin revitalized him rather quickly too. Only his knees were still bent over the pool edge with his calves and feet in the water as he grabbed you quickly before you could think twice.

“And you were so upset this morning…and for what?” He teased, pulling you down onto his chest to stop you from getting away.

He didn’t care if the girls in his crew would already be blushing now.

The two of you were laid in quite the compromising way then, glistening in the sunlight together.

Doflamingo was already strong enough again to grab one of your hands as he forced it over his still racing heart, continuing to talk to you. “Yes, you’re a marine. But the last one that lived with me aimed a pistol to this instead.” He said in reference to that hotly beating muscle inside, his mouth almost against yours too by then. “If I hadn’t answered with my own, none of this would be possible. Do you understand? He wanted to erase me…and you…” Doflamingo smiled, searching your still emotional eyes from behind his glasses.

“You only want to save me.”

He kissed you right after those words had left his lips, pulling you to him even tighter as he forced his tongue up into your mouth.

He might have heard Baby 5 gasp.

Maybe Dellinger had made a retching sound.

But they’d just have to get used to it.

You were here to stay. And soon enough they’d have a new little brother or sister to go along with this perfect family addition.

—————————

“Vice Admiral Tsuru has abandoned her post in Lyra and is no longer updating her coordinates. At least on our channels.” Tashigi said quietly. “The fleet admiral has ordered no one to speak to the press. And there is still a travel embargo in place to Dressrosa per HQ. No navy ships are allowed to port there until further notice. This order will be strictly enforced by the sailors of base G-5 and their commander Vice Admiral Vergo.”

Smoker remained silent, looking out to sea as his subordinate gave her latest updates from the bulletins that had been coming periodically across the snails all day.

Some transmissions were official, some more secondhand, leap frogged in communications from navy ship to navy ship here in the New World as everyone clamored to make any real sense of this new humiliation.

“We’ll still beat Tsuru there.” Smoker finally said gruffly.

He was standing alone otherwise.

Even as much of a rookie as Tashigi still was, she was the only one willing to approach him after he’d exploded on the rest of the crew earlier.

Smoker had yelled, asking how braindead they had to be to believe these steaming piles of dogshit being purported as the truth about you now.

And he could rage at his own men to knock sense into them all he wanted. But he knew their opinions would now reflect the majority of marines regardless.

Doflamingo was purposefully cutting off your support.

Just as Smoker and Aokiji had both assumed that pirate would further try to.

Yet that didn’t mean that Smoker was reacting well either. And he was certain Aokiji would be laid over a bar somewhere in Marineford by tonight.

“Are you okay…Captain?”

Tashigi’s damned soft voice only irritated him further as he bit against his cigars. “Shut off all our snails from here out until Dressrosa is in sight. Then start the S.O.S. signals. Tsuru has the right idea about going dark. There’s nothing else we need to know about this. We stick to the plan and that’s the end of it.”

“Yes, Captain.” She saluted only half heartedly however before walking away to deliver those orders to the communications room.

She even had the audacity to look back over her shoulder too. Her concern so insultingly etched over every bit of her body language as Smoker tried and failed to focus only on the ocean’s windswept whitecaps still in the distance.

He was a practical man. A straight forward man who loathed the idea of ever living within the failures of the past.

Everything should only be the next step forward. The next answer to what existed now, not to what was before.

But even his resolve was not enough to overcome this twisting thing, now eating through his heart and mind as he went through cigar after cigar.

He didn’t care if you hated him any longer.

He only cared if you hated yourself. And if he had so stupidly contributed to it in the end when he’d thought he’d only been pressing you to be better.

You had never been in love with him. Smoker was still certain of this. You’d just been killing time. The two of you were friends that’d gone too far, because it had felt good and you’d both been so similar.

He could trust you and you could trust him. And for almost two years that had been enough.

Until it wasn’t. Until he’d wanted more and it had started to hurt. But you’d never change. And you couldn’t understand why it was wrong.

Smoker had tried to pull back, expecting you to see it and cut him off with a vengeance. He had no insecurities that made him need to be the first to end it.

He’d wanted you to. To say you’d dumped him so you could walk on with your head held high. You’d needed that win far more than he did.

But you’d clung to him in your own way. And he’d been so irritated by it. Because in every other aspect of your life you were one of the fiercest women he’d ever known.

Yet you just wouldn’t walk away from him as many times as he’d tried to push you towards freedom.

The true end in his mind, being that last time the two of you had ever been physically intimate. Both your ships had been in a port in the East Blue at the same time. He had tried to have an honest conversation with you alone then. Because he’d never wanted to do something that serious over the phone.

But you’d wanted to go drinking instead, and he’d gotten all the more frustrated. Culminating in bending you over in the bathroom of the bar as he’d used himself up again inside of you.

He’d still wanted you so fully and he’d hated it. Because he’d seen your own anger and hurt. Drunk as you’d been, wanting his attention and affection even in the aftermath.

He didn’t enable you further to give it that night though as he’d only refastened his pants and helped you straighten your skirt before making sure you made it back to your ship safely.

You were never ready to listen to him. And you’d probably cried that night. He’d stayed awake the entire time on his own ship, waiting by his snail.

Surely he’d thought you’d call cursing and fussing by then. That you’d finally break up with him and wake up to what you were really doing to yourself.

But it was so much worse than he’d ever believed.

Because the next time he’d seen you had finally been in Mariejois. And he couldn’t wait any longer by then. He’d prepared to say what you wouldn’t and cut you loose.

And he’d known you wouldn’t handle it well. Tashigi had followed him to the courtyard, worrying as always. But Smoker had felt a rare dread in himself that morning.

Much like he did today.

You’d been using him to feel something. And he’d let you, until the day he couldn’t anymore.

It’d hurt like hell.

And it still hurt because he knew you’d learned nothing even as many times as he’d tried to show you.

You’d pour yourself into every goddamn other thing but actually saving yourself. Chiefly your career and your shitty taste in men, himself included.

You didn’t trust yourself to deserve better. You didn’t know your real worth. And now the absolute worst fucking candidate Smoker could ever think of had to have learned this about you too.

Smoker had done his damndest to make you take flight.

And all you’d done was double back right into the strings of the next man in waiting.

One that wasn’t a man at all, but a demon to be beaten back before he broke your wings entirely.

But did you want Doflamingo to lose when it came to you? That was a question Smoker still couldn’t answer either. Despite all his bluster, defending you so doggedly before his own crew.

All he could really do would be to try and wake you one more time.

And hope that this would finally be enough to be different somehow. That you would want to be free instead of just holding tighter to the chains you’d already made in your own mind.

The ones Doflamingo surely kept tightening once he had found them.

Hell itself couldn’t have dreamed of a worse combination than the two of you.

———————————

T⨂ BE

CONTINUED

———————————

Thanks for reading!

Author’s note: I’m pretty sure that in canon Law is the only person ever shown knowing of Rosinante’s devil fruit ability. For purposes of this story, I’m assuming some of the marines Rosi served with ended up also knowing. And Doflamingo dug up that information after his death, bothered by just how much else his brother may have been hiding from him. I didn’t want to spoil Doffy’s “are you or aren’t you a witch?” pool trick by posting this note at the beginning. 🫣

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aihoshiino · 21 days ago

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chapter 165 thoughts

Aqua Hoshigan Status: It's Officially Hoshinover

Chapters Until The Story Ends Without The 143 Kiss Being Addressed Or Acknowledged: 1

damn i guess they really did just kill his ass

I'm gonna be so real with you gamers, I kind of don't have a lot to say about this one either lol. Which I acknowledge sounds completely wild given the Everything that happens in it, but most of my meat and potatoes analysis in these reviews comes from breaking down characterization and we're flying through everything at such breakneck pace that we're barely getting any characterization.

It continues to drive me bugfuck insane that Ai is completely absent from this finale despite the importance of 15 Year Lie. Its imagery is plastered all over but whenever we return to it, we just see Aqua. Not only that, but Gotanda is the one who insists on pushing the movie through for Aqua. 15YL as a story about Ai's true self and her tragedy is now officially taking a backseat to being about Aqua's tragic death and legacy. It was already bad enough that we spent so much time in the Movie Arc not actually focusing on Ai to the extent that, as everyone pointed out, based on what we saw on-page it was basically a Sad Kamiki Movie, but this really is just pissing right in the wound at this point lmao.

The funeral scene also serves as the final nail in the coffin for any Secretly Alive Aqua copes, which is kind of a relief. I still don't like how Aqua's death played out, but I think dragging it out for four chapters then going "sorry you thought i was /srs when i was just /jk" would have been infinitely more insulting. I don't like this ending, but I can respect that Akasaka seems to be sticking to his guns on it, even if we still do have like a whole chapter left for him to whip around and go "I WAS /JK ALL ALONG!!!!" but I don't see it happening.

Anyway, yeah! The funeral! Uh. Is it gonna sound weird if I say I felt kind of like… grossed out reading this the first time? Like, I really don't know how else to explain the visceral "why the fuck is the author making me read this" reaction I had to it. I think it's just because Kana is so fucking distraught here and the drama is just so hammy and so over the top that it feels kind of… ech. I dunno. I just really didn't vibe.

It doesn't help that this is part of a much broader pattern in the back half of OnK of Aka getting us right up close into the gory details of a character's complete mental breakdown and suffering and then spend zero time or focus on their recovery. This happened with Ruby all over the Movie Arc and this many times and with this little runway to the end of the series, it just starts to feel exploitative, like a way to cheaply pull at our heartstrings without doing the work to build everyone back up after tearing them down.

also pre-emptively dreading all the fuel this is going to add to the fires of People Who Are Weird And Misogynistic About Kana but she could die saving innocent children from a burning building and people would find reasons to be shitty about her lmao

we really are not seeing ruby's reaction to finding out her brother was dead huh lol

I will say the one thing I didn't Actively Dislike about this chapter was Ruby, though. I was honestly starting to get pretty skeeved out with how many people were gleefully predicting or actively wishing for her immediate suicide purely for ship motivated reasons and I was also worrying that the story was going to pretend that Ruby doesn't like. Have a life and support system outside of Aqua. Yes, she should absolutely be affected by his death but this period of her shutting down only to drag herself back onto her feet that we seem to be getting feels way more in line with pre-Movie Arc flanderization Ruby and I'll take that W where I can get it.

god. I haven't even talked about Kamiki's supposed serial killer cult. I just don't have the strength. Like… that's self-evidently stupid, right? I don't need to explain to you why that's ridiculous and unbelievable? You don't need me to tell you why it's fucking crazy that we're getting this information about the alleged overarching antagonist of the series not only in the second-to-last chapter of the entire series but after he was already dead, right? We can just move on? Ok good. jesus christ.

FINAL CHAPTER NEXT WEEK…

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #chapter review

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milaisreading · 7 months ago

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Based on chapter 260 (kinda has spoilers?)

Warning: Reader is crossdressing here so I am using a mix of she/her and he/him. It has angst, but also fluff here. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Pairings: Kaiser x CD!Yn (Ness x CD!Yn, if he squint)

It was one of those days on which (Y/n) didn't feel like doing anything. Ego had cut their training short, and the 5 teams that were occupying the Blue Lock facility had the rest of the day off. (Y/n) yawned as she rolled around in her bed, unable to fall asleep and glanced over at the digital clock on the wall.

'It's only 15:30... I still have some time left till dinner.' She thought and sat up in her bed, looking at the two beds that usually Ness and Kaiser occupied. To her surprise, neither were there, and thinking back, she couldn't remember seeing Kaiser during morning practice. Only Ness was there, who looked gloomy and barely talked to anyone, even the German side couldn't get anything out of him.

'So annoying... What are those two even up to?' (Y/n) hummed, feeling a little worried about both boys and got out of bed, deciding to go look for them.

'It's not like I care about either of them. I just don't want to be told off for not knowing where they are.' She thought to herself as she left the bedroomz deciding to go room by room and see if they were there.

Surprisingly enough, it didn't take (Y/n) too long to find either of them, as they were in the monitoring room Kaiser would use to stalk- rewatch her and Isagi's plays. That wasn't the weirdest part, oddly enough, what was weird was finding Ness sitting on the ground and... crying?

"Ness, are you alright?"

The magenta-eyed boy immediately looked up as (Y/n) approached him. To his surprise, she wasn't looking at him in a condescending manner, but in genuine worry.

"Is everything alright? Did Kaiser say something to you again?" The boy flinched and shook his head. (Y/n) sighed and looked at the closed door, there was a long silence and the girl thought for a moment that nobody was there. Maybe Kaiser and Ness were never in the monitor room to begin with.

"Come on, get up. The floor is cold, you will get sick." (Y/n) said calmly as she grabbed Ness' arm and tried to pull him up, but the boy refused to move.

"I am fine! Why do you even care? Don't you hate me?!" Ness yelled and glared up at her. (Y/n) was surprised by both his yelling and crying. Sure, they did argue, but he never yelled at her.

"I don't hate you-"

Before the girl could finish her sentence, a loud crash and scream were heard from inside the room. (Y/n) let go of Ness' arm and looked at the door in shock and quickly made her way towards it, completely ignoring the boy's protests.

'Wasn't that Kaiser's scream?' She wondered and quickly opening the door, but what she saw inside made her freeze up in her spot. The room looked nothing like she remembered. Glass was all over the place, one of the TVs was shattered, and there were blood splatters in some places.

"Kaiser... Did you injure yourself?" (Y/n) asked in worry, looking at the boy who was kneeling on the ground. The blonde said nothing as he held his bleeding hand, not looking at the girl, just taking deep breaths.

"Kaiser? Can you answer me?" (Y/n) walked over to the boy, avoiding all the shards that were scattered around the place.

'What did he even break?' She wondered when she stood above him. Calmly, she put a hand on his shoulder, trying to shake him out of whatever state he was in.

"Kaiser, let's clean that wound. You will infect it-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Kaiser's head shot up towards her, the dull look causing her to back away a little.

"Kaiser?-"

"Shut up!" The blonde yelled and jumped at her, knocking her to the ground.

"Hey! What's the big deal- ACK!" (Y/n)'s eyes widened in horror when the boy put his hands around her throat, squeezing it a little.

"Are you insane? Let go!" She glared up, but that quickly faltered as the boy started to squeeze her throat tighter.

"You useless piece of garbage!! Why can't you leave me alone!!" Kaiser started yelling while tears streamed down his face. (Y/n) started stretching his wrists, hoping it might snap him out of this state.

'What happened to him?! He will strangle me at this point!' (Y/n) started to panic as she felt the loss of oxygen, but Kaiser's grip didn't falter. By now, Ness ran into the room as well, panicking when he saw what was going on. He started yelling at Kaiser to stop this, even tried to move him off of (Y/n).

"Stupid piece of shit-"

"You are acting just like your dad now!"

The blonde froze at Ness' words and quickly let go of (Y/n)'s throat. The girl immediately took in a few breaths, relief washing over here for a moment.

'Wait! His father?'

(Y/n) thought as she started to cough, which made Kaiser finally step out of his state.

"(Y/n)..." The blonde whispered as he looked down at her, then quickly got off of the girl and moved away as far as possible. Ness helped her sit up while the girl kept her eyes fixated on Kaiser.

"N-Ness... Get me a first aid kit out of the medic room." She said to the boy, who looked at her in confusion.

"Did you cut yourself?"

"No, just go and get it."

The boy decided not to argue for now and quickly ran out. After he left, (Y/n) refocused her attention on Kaiser, who was staring at his hands in horror.

The girl shook her head and got off of the ground, walking over to Kaiser slowly.

'His dad.... Did his dad hurt him? What else could he have done to him?' She thought once her mind was clear, anger bubbling up inside of her.

"Kaiser-"

"Don't come near me." The boy looked up at her in horror,she could see a new set of tears form in his eyes.

"It's-"

"No, stay away."

"Fine. It's fine."

Kaiser's eyes widened as (Y/n) kneeled in front of him and pulled the boy into a hug.

"It's fine... You are fine now. Your dad isn't here. You aren't your dad."

Kaiser's eyes widened, the quickly hugged her back and buried his face into her shoulder.

"It's fine. You can cry here."

It didn't take too long for him to start just doing that.

It took another hour for Kaiser to calm down before (Y/n) could tend to his wounds. She did this in the privacy of the room she shared with the two Germans. Kaiser was quiet the whole time, while Ness was the one who explained to her what had happened, after the blonde gave him the permission. To say (Y/n) was infuriated would be an understatement, but she needed to keep calm, someone had to stay calm in this room. Eventually, her anger turned into sadness as she looked over at Kaiser, who looked more like a shell of his former self.

"I am sorry for-"

"Ness, it's not your fault." (Y/n) looked at the boy, then back at Kaiser, who avoided making eye-contact with her. She then looked down at the bandages around his wrists, guilt hitting her as she remembered that she had scratched him there.

"I am sorry, Kaiser."

The boy's eyes widened as she grabbed his wrists and kissed the bandaged parts.

"Everything will be fine." She smiled weakly, really hoping she was right this time. (Y/n) had no idea if anything will be fine. Kaiser was a broken shell, Ness wasn't doing better either, and she didn't know what to do to make it better.

"I hope so." Kaiser finally said as he pulled her into a hug. (Y/n) smiled sadly and hugged him back.

"And you won't leave me. Got it?"

"Yeah, sure." She said back, not thinking much of her words or his serious tone. Ness bit his lip as he watched them and slowly sat on Kaiser's bed, looking at (Y/n) nervously for a moment.

"Can I have a hug as well, (Y/n)?" She blinked at Ness in confusion for a moment, but eventually nodded her head.

"Sure-"

"But not now. He will be hugging me till I am happy again." Kaiser warned Ness, tightening his arms around her form. The other boy rolled his eyes and nodded his head.

"Yeah, yeah."

Kaiser pouted as (Y/n) started caressing his hair, leaning closer into her touch.

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock scenarios #blue lock #crossdressing #michael kaiser #bllk kaiser #blue lock kaiser #kaiser x reader #alexis ness #bllk ness #ness x reader

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bloodiedrogue · 1 year ago

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MY LOVE IS MINE, ALL MINE (15)

SUMMARY: Astarion insists that you rest.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 2,987

WARNINGS: Brief mentions of death and dissociation, a whole lot of fluff and comfort as an apology for all the angsty chapters. :^)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ha-ha, hey do people still care about this fic? (Sorry I went MIA, my brain got bad)

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST

It feels odd having Astarion around.

For days, his hands are almost always attached to you in some way. Gripping tightly onto your arm as he guides you out of the bed, drawing patterns into your back each night he quietly lays next to you —anything to make you feel like he’s some sort of extension of you. As if he’s another set of limbs there to help you heal.

It’s nice, at first. Comforting. And for a while, as you exhaustively lay amongst the sheets and pillows, tucked against the side of his torso, it helps you forget about the world around you. How just beyond this realm of soft looks and tender touches, there’s a war raging on, developing day by day as you tirelessly drift from bed to bath and back again, trying your best not to get too restless.

Which is easier some days than others.

For example, the first few felt like a breeze. Nothing more than a collection of hours that quickly whizzed by before you could even blink. With Astarion there to distract you, time seemed to slip from your grasp entirely. Exiting your mind in the form of lengthy naps spent latched onto your partner’s frame.

It was blissful. A much needed break from all the chaos but it was obvious it wouldn’t last. Nothing more than a blip in an otherwise more momentous event, you could feel the restlessness of the future seeping in. Taking hold of your mind, ripping through the cavernous well of missing information that occurred during your death. You couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. How the group managed without you —how Astarion managed.

Based on the lack of space given during the healing process, you assume badly. Considering he’s never touched you like this —like you’re the most fragile thing he’s ever placed his hands on as if at any moment one wrongful slip of his fingers might shatter you all over again— it’s apparent something within him changed. Shifting in a way that, even now, nearly a week later his presence is still stagnant.

And for the most part, it is nice. A welcomed change amongst all the bullshit. Having him there with you —seeing the lengths he’s willing to go to make sure that you’re safe is unparalleled to anything you’ve ever felt. A dream within a plague of nightmares lulling you to sleep each night he holds you close, telling you that everything’s fine. At least, until it isn’t. Then it feels like suffocation. Like his once-loving hands are now wrapped around your throat, reminding you of what little time you have left. Forcing you to realize that, instead of lying around living in ignorance of the task at hand, you should be helping —working alongside the rest of the party to complete your common goal.

“I need to move, Astarion,” you tell him. Almost angrily, you press your hands to either side of his face, narrowing your eyes, watching the way he rolls his own and frowns.

“Zamrie said—“

“Oh, my Gods, forget what Zamrie said!” Before he can even protest you’re on your feet and moving towards the door, ignoring the way he huffs in response. Blocking out the sounds of his angered protests as you begin to pull on your boots. “I swear, if I don’t get out of this room I’m going to go insane!”

Surprisingly, he doesn’t do anything other than try to talk you out of it. Relaying each point of criticism with facts to back up his claims, watching the way your face twists in annoyance the longer you realize he’s right.

Because despite mentally feeling alright aside from the lack of stimulus, you’re still exhausted. A feeling you hadn’t anticipated to take so long to recover from. Assuming you were under the hindrance of any other common illness, you figured you’d be back to normal in a few days tops. No longer feeling numb or shaky. But then again, you were dead. And for a while too, so unfortunately it makes sense as to why as you finish tying your first boot you’re already out of breath. Heavily panting against the warm air of the inn’s top floor as you glance to see Astarion’s smug look.

“You know I’m right,” he says, and all you do is awkwardly walk back to the bed with your boot still on, collapsing face-first into the mattress with a groan.

“I’m so bored.”

“And what do you want me to do about it?”

In response, you merely grumble, feeling him roll you over so that he can untie the laces of your shoe, kneeling at the edge of the bed for better access as you let out a huff, unsure what to say.

Because really, there aren’t very many options left. Already you’ve read every book your party has and then some thanks to Gale and his lengthy trip to Sorcerer’s Sundries, as well as exhausted all your conversation topics. At this point, there’s nothing left but card games and sleeping and Astarion frequently cheats which leaves you with the most boring option. The one you’d rather suffer through the pain of activity than submit to, prompting you to look at Astarion with pleading eyes, praying that just this once he’ll give in.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

You narrow your eyes and wiggle your foot as he eventually discards your boot, quickly moving to kick his face in annoyance only to have him catch it before you make contact.

“If you don’t stop I’ll cast hold person on you,” he threatens then, moving to grip your knee and pull you towards the edge of the bed. Smirking at the sound of you squealing in amusement at the sudden shift in position.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” you tease, but all he does is slowly maneuver himself above you, slotting his hips between your already spread legs. Ignoring the way your face contorts to showcase the sudden nerves that erupt.

“I would because then you’d actually rest.”

“But I am resting.”

“Hm, are you?”

“I’m laying down aren’t I?”

“That’s different than resting, my love.”

“Is it?”

Somehow he’s managed to distract you with conversation long enough for you not to notice he’s looming above you. Pressing his palms against the spaces next to your head —shifting the lower half of his body to lightly press against your own.

Upon noticing this, you swallow hard and try not to smile. Forcing down the anxiety of Astarion’s mischievous gaze exploring your features —taking in the obvious temptation that’s begun to surface.

“You don’t seem very tired,” he tells you. Teasing you in a way that has you rolling your eyes, allowing it to happen because, while you’ve exhausted a lot of options to entertain yourself, sex isn’t one of them. Considering the two of you have been too busy reuniting and making sure everything about your resurrection continued to go smoothly, the thought really hadn’t occurred to either of you.

Far too lost in the simple touches of each other’s company, up until now it felt more important just to coexist. To relax and monitor rather than jump into something that could only result in complications.

Which is a thought that sits at the back of your mind. Even as he leans down, nudging your nose with his —saying something flirtatious that you completely miss due to the passing thoughts that stroll through your head— you can’t help but wonder if it’s a good idea.

“Are you sure we—“

He cuts you off with a gentle kiss. One that lingers for a couple of seconds before it’s over and he’s grinning above you, moving to glide his thumb along your cheek. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.“

“No, I just —is it right?”

He scrunches up his face, looking at you in confusion. Making you realize how offensive your words probably sound. “Sorry, I don’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

You take a minute to put together your thoughts, ignoring the way he longs for your answer. Feeling him shift slightly backwards in anticipation of your inevitable rejection.

“Is this the right time to be doing this?”

He raises his brow and sort of laughs. “Do you mean that morally or?”

“Kind of?”

All you do is scoff in embarrassment, moving your hands to cover your face. “I just mean that… should we be having sex while the others are doing all the work?”

Astarion really laughs at that, his voice practically rising a full octave as he swats away your hands, watching your annoyance only increase at his actions. “Seriously? That’s what you’re concerned about?”

“I feel like it’s a valid concern.”

“Well, it’s not.”

“Okay but I think—”

He steals another kiss, ignoring the groan of protest that hits his lips. Opting to instead grab your cheek again, gliding his fingers against your skin. Feeling the way you almost immediately settle into his touch the moment he pulls away.

“Darling, you and I both know the other’s don’t give a shit what we do. So long as it’s somewhat legal and doesn’t disturb their sleep.”

Moving your hands to his torso, you practically sigh in defeat, pinching his hips with frustrated fingers as you lean up and kiss his chin. “I don’t know. I think Gale might be jealous if he comes back and sees us.”

As you fall back down he chases you instantly, enveloping your mouth in his a third time, knowing then that you’re surrendering. That instead of fighting the urge to make excuses, you’re allowing yourself to enjoy what he’s offering. To experience that connection without the added baggage of not knowing whether or not there’s feelings involved.

Because now that you’ve admitted it —now that both of you have said those three little words, it feels completely different. After travelling and talking and experiencing that unfortunate blip of separation there’s a whole other dynamic that takes place.

For example, somehow his touch is gentler. And not because of your current physical setbacks. No, there’s something tender about it. As if the care he has for you has extended from his heart to his palms, guiding them in ways that make your chest tighten with newfound anticipation. Against your flesh, his fingers are delicately placed, slipping to grip the back of your neck, sprawling out to cover as much surface area as possible.

Sighing into him, your thoughts wander to different positions. Imagining all of the ways the two of you might end up, you can feel your stomach twist with excitement. Your mouth curling up into an empty-minded smile, unaware of the joy that radiates between you. Too distracted by the happy sound he makes when you grip the waistline of his pants.

“Does this serve as a good enough distraction for your boredom?”

You hum and kiss him, eventually pulling back to nod. “Only if it’s okay.”

For a moment he pauses, his expression turning from playful to serious. His eyes softening at the weight of your words, realizing that you mean it. That for once in his life he’s in control of his own pleasure.

“I promise you, I wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t,” he eventually tells you, and all you do is beam. Moving your hands to his face, you look at him with affectionate pride, running your thumbs along the highpoint of his cheeks —pressing down as you pull him back to rest his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much,” you say, closing your eyes, hearing him softly hum in a way that rips the air right out of your lungs. Feeling the way he stiffens before he ultimately melts beneath your touch, allowing the full weight of his body to press against yours.

“You mean the world to me,” he responds, moving to kiss your cheek before moving to the other before you open your eyes again to see him hovering above. “When I lost you I—“

You don’t interrupt him. Instead, you just press your lips together and offer a nod, watching his mind work through the blockage.

“Losing you felt like losing hope. Like I was being shoved back into that blasted mausoleum all over again.” He pauses to swallow, watching you stare into his eyes, refusing to break the contact even though it’s obvious he wants to. “I don’t want to feel like that ever again. I can’t —I won’t.”

Your hands move towards his shoulders, slowly weaving their way around his neck to pull him close. To let him feel the pounding heart inside your chest and how its pace quickens because of him.

“I know it may seem like I’m ungrateful a lot of the time —that I’m brash or unkind but don’t think for a second I take for granted what you feel for me.” His lips press against yours for a second before they’re separate again. “I love you and I won’t let anything more happen to you.”

As soon as he finishes you can’t help but pull him against your chest, placing a kiss to the crown of his head before resting your chin on top of it. “Mm, you really have a way with words don’t you?”

All he does is chuckle. “I would hope so after all the mindless chatter I’ve done over the last two centuries.”

“I’m sure you’ve swept your fair share of feet with that beautiful voice of yours.”

He cranes his neck to look up at you. “My voice is pretty beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It’s like music to my ears, darling,” you tell him, partially mocking him as he scoffs in response and reaches for the nearest pillow to smother your already giggling face.

“Don’t mock me.”

Awkwardly moving to shove the pillow aside, you feel him shift against you as he sits up, grabbing both of your wrists and pinning them above your head. “Actually, you know what, I take back what I said —I actually hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

You scrunch up your face in fake annoyance as he leans down again, giving you a chastising look. “I do. So much so that I don’t want to have sex with you anymore.”

“Oh, really?”

While nodding your head, you try your best to get him to release your wrists but to no avail, eventually sighing in response. “Yeah, I’d rather take a bath instead, I think. Get you to wash my hair or something.”

Without even protesting he just kisses your nose and rises from the bed, readying the bath. Taking it upon himself to focus on the task at hand rather than your lingering eyes staring at his dishevelled hair and the way his clothes have shifted out of place thanks to your roaming hands. Something that shouldn’t annoy you but does as you crave his attention. Finding yourself wanting desperately to keep him connected any way you can.

Because despite knowing he’s here with you, sometimes he isn’t. Instead, sometimes he’s lost in far-off lands, travelling by himself in fear, trying desperately to get back. Behind his eyes, you can always tell when he’s absent because his eyes sort of shift out of focus, dismissing whatever’s directly in front of him in favour of relieving whatever awful memory’s been triggered.

It breaks your heart. Ultimately spurring you to stand and move behind, wrapping your arms around him as he finishes up the bath.

“C’mon, get it before it gets cold.”

Despite wanting to playfully protest, you listen. Taking a reluctant step back while releasing his frame, you slowly begin to peel off your clothes, feeling his fingertips reach for your stomach as you throw your tunic over your head.

“Can I help you?”

Looking down at his hand, you see his fingers draw patterns into your flesh. How they practically dance their way down to your waist before his other hand slips to the buttons of your trousers.

“Other way around.”

You look at him, confused, prompting him to laugh.

“Figured you could use a hand with these.” He tugs the button through the hole with one quick swipe, causing you to bite back a smirk and roll your eyes, allowing him to slowly drag the fabric down your legs. Watching as he moves to his knees along with it.

Once there, he motions for you to step out of each pant leg, discarding the fabric entirely. Grinning up at you once you’re left only in your underwear.

“Gods, you’re…” He doesn’t finish. Instead, he just kisses the inner portion of your thigh as he plays with the edge of the fabric, looking up at you with pleading eyes. The kind that you merely nod at, suddenly feeling nervous.

Because it’s been a while since he’s seen you like this. And even so, it continues to feel different. More intimate somehow as he moves at a leisurely pace, kissing your skin while exposing your sex. As it happens, you have to look away and take a breath, feeling everything shift past your thighs and knees, eventually moving to your calves and feet before there’s nothing against you. No fabric or hands or lips —only the suffocating air of the inn hitting your bare skin, forcing you to uncomfortably squirm as you look down.

“Beautiful,” he mutters, and suddenly it feels like your heart is bursting against your chest, watching as he leans forward to pepper a few kisses along your upper legs, reaching for the scars that line your stomach —ignoring the way they twitch beneath his fingertips as he traces over them. “How about we get you into the tub before the water gets cold, hm?”

Almost nervously you nod, feeling him grip your hips for support as he moves to stand before guiding you into the tub without another word.

TAGLIST:

@poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo @jjfchk @idiotsatan @bluestuesday @bloopthebat @art-by-greenie @heneralmoon @sukunababe @dreamingaboutyousworld @ranfithegood @haniscrying @liadamerondjarin @the-lake-is-calling @marina-and-the-memes @rookieoftheyear @zraloci-cpr @kaetmo @snickerdoodle-daydream @wowowwild @d1anna @raswiet @conniesbbymama @venus-wrts @demonicthorns @kihten @sanscas @spammypasta @leighsartworks216 @rose-gold-blue @p1ssmagg0t @hellish-writes @ghostinvenus @otayz @sexysquatch @sleepyeclair @colorful-anxieties @alina-exe @lillifer @girlwiththepapatattoo @acelin-ginsberg @pinkuranium @catrad0rable @scarletrosesposts @qwnamidala @itsrosebabe @bunnyperi @queenofcarrotflowers-s @tatumadams20 @spkyxszn @chlort @f3v3rs @awkwardwookie @joy-the-reader @warm-milk-with-honey-blog @vertigocrime @iyis @wildpiper @pebblethestone @tillywasneverhere @bex-03 @revemiya @staticspouse @itzagothamcitysiren

(taglist continued in reblogs)

#my love is mine all mine #astarion fan fic #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #a lover's folly #summer writes

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accirax · 2 months ago

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Danganronpa: Despair Time Chapter 2 Episode 15 Dissection

FINALLY, I have a Friday night with few enough plans that I can watch and give my initial thoughts on the episode on the day that it aired >:D

... why am I celebrating being all alone on a Friday night? (/j)

Dissection time! This will be a Part 1 because I finally actually ran out of images. Please check the reblogs to see my further thoughts on the episode!

SPOILERS for Danganronpa: Despair Time Chapter 2 Episode 14. Brief mentions of eating disorders and suicide.

Of course, it's also the first week where I probably won't have as much to say, not because there isn't stuff to comment on about the episode, but because the main thing that ate up my time/word count was assessing all of the evidence to talk about who the killer might be. Now that the killer has seemingly been revealed, there isn't really any "Chapter 2 murder" left to theorize about... that's insane.

Starting the episode off with Teruko saying that accusing Ace was her "judgment" was wild. She made it very clear that it wasn't just that she was humoring Eden or haphazardly starting with Ace first, but that she thought it over and decided that Ace was the more-likely-to-be-guilty party because of seeing Eden break down like that. She paid attention to Eden's emotions and let Eden into her heart! That's awesome!!!

(Not to say that you couldn't pay attention to Eden's emotions and still think that she was the culprit-- I'd be a pretty big hypocrite if I tried to argue that. And I just don't think that it's true.)

This is a really random point to bring up, but I remember from drawing my J-to-Xander secret santa exchange that one of J's main complaints about Xander was also that he was loud. I guess J just really hates loud people.

... David, put down the megaphone--

Now this surprised me. It really made sense to me that Arturo would be the one stalking Eden, given that we first heard about the stalking on the day that Arturo and Eden had their chat!

Although, it also makes sense that it wasn't, given that the Arturo/Eden conversation probably happened after the event where J pulled Teruko into that closet (just based on Arturo's vibes). That event was the last thing that Teruko did before the nighttime announcement rang. Thus, Eden talking to Arturo probably happened pretty late in the afternoon, not giving Arturo much time to have been following Eden. To be fair, I deemed that it could still very well be Arturo anyways, because it's not like Eden said anything such as "you've been following me all day" that truly indicated a time period. But it does make sense.

Seems like everyone who thought that the culprit could have been tailing Eden was correct! A round of applause for everyone who put those pieces together 👏 (/gen)

Now, this one, I don't believe I saw ANYONE speculate. Therefore, as an idea I'd never even heard tossed around, this really took me out. It makes sense, though: Eden is small and semi-canonically the weakest character in the killing game. Therefore, if you're looking for someone who you can near-guaranteed overpower, it makes sense if you were to target her.

On one hand, thinking down this line of logic makes me worried for Eden's survival prospects beyond Chapter 2. On the other, now that this has been directly addressed in canon, I find it less likely that someone will use that again down the line. The best place to do so would be at the next Class Trial, so that the logic can be "well, looks like someone tried to execute on Ace's original plan" when it's at its most relevant because Ace's crime would be at its most recent. However, I don't really think that Eden will be a victim at the next Class Trial, so I'm leaning towards saying that she wouldn't become a victim for that reason.

(It feels so unnatural to write out "Ace's crime" and be, like 95% certain that it's canon. This case is just one of the unsolved mysteries of history, the fuck??? (/j))

This was ALSO insane to me. I know that thebadjoe cited Ace claiming to have been in the Gym the day after he nearly died in there as a reason why Ace might have been lying about what day he overheard Arei and David on (the logic is probably somewhere in here), but I think I and many others just figured that he didn't want everyone to think he was a coward, or that his eating disorder would compel him to go back to the Gym anyways.

However, going back to the Gym to sus out how exactly Nico's contraption works makes perfect sense! J was right, if Ace was suffering through being killed when he awoke, he shouldn't have had the presence of mind to figure out the crime then and there. However, if he could combine the flashes he got of what happened while he was swinging from the fan, whatever he was able to make out when he ran out of the room to chase Nico, and being able to inspect the Gym after the fact, I think it's totally reasonable that he could have figured out what happened with enough clarity that he could replicate its essential elements elsewhere.

As it turns out, despite my crack at trying to figure out what happened, the Gym murder method wasn't actually all that complex.

Teruko: One. Given that you were stalking Eden before the Nico incident, you were already planning a murder beforehand. You entered the Gym with the pre-existing intent to take the tape for some different, unspecified murder plan, and changed your mind on the details later. Two. You were pretending to be unconscious for longer than we thought. And three. You took the tape for first aid.

Dammit, fellow "but it wouldn't have made sense for Ace to take the tape right after the attempt" truthers... I think she may have cooked us. (/j)

But hey, we love to see Teruko representing the "let me explain out various theoretical options by listing and discussing them numerically" crowd! It's always great to see yourself represented in media ;P Even if I never came up with any of these theoretical options.

My guess is probably that, of the options, the first is the most likely. I also think that Teruko probably agrees with that, given that it was what she went to first and it had the longest explanation. It's not really important, though, and I don't think there's any way to truly know, so I don't have much else to say about it.

Teruko noooooooooo :(

Whit FINALLY gets a new sprite and THIS is the expression and context?????? I love him.

Speaking of, I think that, thus far, the characters to have received new sprites in Chapter 2 Part 2 are Teruko, Ace, Arei, Hu, David, Veronika, Whit, and Nico? I'm not certain about whether Eden, Levi, or Rose had any, but I don't think they did. If true, I can't believe that Eden got through such a major role in the story without picking up any new sprites. It's probably because she already had a bunch to begin with, but, still.

Oh hey, he got one too. Protag/antag/support/chapter killer, boom.

Teruko: That's why Arei's wrists were bound-- because you didn't want her to wake up mid-murder to claw at her neck.

Definitely not what I was expecting from this piece of evidence, but I guess it tracks? My only question is why it would have been a problem if Arei had scratched at her neck. Like, it's not like both of them having neck scratches would have implicated Ace as the killer, right?

I guess maybe he was afraid that Arei would be able to escape his murder contraption much like he broke Nico's, even though the rope is probably much more sturdy than the wire. Or, maybe he was worried that it would work against the idea to stage it as a suicide? Either way, it's also convenient for just restraining Arei in general, so it's not like the evidence doesn't make any sense at all.

Nico, in audio: (Sorry.)

SO creative to contrast the voice lines and the spoken dialogue to really imply that Nico is saying it under their breath, or so quietly that nobody can hear.

However, let's not forget about the actual content of what Nico says whilst focusing on the cool media-specific presentation. Nico actually apologized to Ace after traumatizing him! Nico is very much characterized as a straight-shooter (or at least, when they're not trying to avoid conflict by saying whatever they think will help accomplish that), so I believe that when they said that they wouldn't say sorry to Ace because they didn't feel sorry for Ace, they meant it. However, that means that at some point between when Nico said that and now, something changed that made Nico feel genuine remorse towards Ace.

I think it's probably just seeing how much of an effect attempting to kill Ace truly had on his psyche and decisions. I don't know at what point Nico started fully believing that Ace was the one to kill Arei, but it's possible that it was around here. Obviously, at least at one point, Nico had no qualms with the idea of Ace dying, so it's not like seeing that their actions will actually manage to kill Ace would probably be that missing piece.

However, making Ace into a blackened is different than Ace just straight up dying as a victim, a difference which Ace acknowledges later in the episode. If Ace had died as the victim, Veronika wouldn't be toying around with him right now and making him humiliate himself. Nico might see that Ace is being bullied, and therefore, have more of a reason to feel sorry for him. Furthermore, Nico was forced to truly grapple with the reality of how hard it must be for the blackened to survive the Class Trial earlier in the chapter. Knowing now that they essentially passed the mantle on to Ace might make them feel bad.

Basically, I think that, for the first time, Nico might actually see a bit of themself in Ace, and that made it easier for Nico to sympathize with his plight.

Speaking of seeing yourself in Ace, Miss Near-Victim-to-Accused-of-Killing Pipeline...

KING

Okay, I do kinda take issue with this line of reasoning, not because Ace isn't strong-- or at least stronger than Eden-- because he absolutely is, but because Arei is also one of the nation's top performing athletes in her sport of choice? I mean, jockeying feels like more of a full-body sport than bowling, so it probably requires more strength training, but looping her in with Eden and Nico feels unfair. Justice for Arei... 's muscles. Anyways, carry on.

I THOUGHT SOMETHING LIKE THIS MIGHT BE POSSIBLE!!! I just never said it because, given that Arturo said that it seemed like there wasn't any other damage to the body, it didn't feel like it was supported by the facts. (Although, obviously, this Trial has proven that Arturo's autopsies are not infallible.)

I've researched before that punching someone in the jaw seems to be the most trustworthy way to knock someone out and have a low chance of killing them then and there. However, that would likely leave a bruise, so I didn't think it would happen. Strangling someone to the point of unconsciousness, however, is possible (it just might be harder/more likely to be lethal), so this totally makes sense!

Yup, unless Eden was trying to frame Ace by "framing" Nico, it really makes much more sense that Ace would have the incentive to copy Nico's crime down so closely.

I mean... this certainly makes it sound like Nico wouldn't attempt to be a blackened ever again...

It's always good to have a frame plan set for your frame plan. Nico wouldn't just do it without thinking about anyone else to blame, so you can't just blame Nico without establishing who Nico would have blamed!

Then again, this plan does require people to think that Nico didn't think about the rules enough to realize that they could easily rule out suicide as a bait. Then again x2, they already said that they didn't think too much about the reality of going to a Class Trial when they initially tried to kill Ace, so it's not so much of a reach as it would have been for other people.

I can't tell if this is somehow suspicious or just an indication that Eden is nice and thinks about others over herself. Ugh, now I have to decide whether I'm being suspicious of Eden as a mastermind candidate or not, and people are going to get mad at me for continuing to suspect her of foul play...! (/lh)

Shoutout to SomniaVA here for doing an excellent job of voicing Veronika. The line read on "too weak, too stupid, and too incompetent" especially was phenomenal. We stan Veronika in this household.

Man, I feel so bad for Ace in this part. Also shoutout to Seth Raffield for voicing Ace this entire time; if you ever read this, you 100% made Ace who he is and overall have some of my favorite voice acting in DRDT. Not being to hear any more voice lines from Ace will honestly be one of the parts of his upcoming death that'll make me the saddest. We haven't heard the very end of it yet, but thanks for all your hard work :)

(Dude I am NOT going to cry before the execution even happens--)

Charles, internally: (FUCK i made Whit sad BACKTRACK BACKTRACK BACKTRACK--)

I love them :,)

Levi: Charles is right. It really is no simple task to control a horse going over 40 miles per hour on a regular basis. It requires physical strength and endurance. Intense training 6 days a week is standard. And the physical tests that jockeys have to go through are grueling, to say the least.

How the fuck do you two know this

Charles: Not what it's called.

Thanks to Charles' comment, I was easily able to determine that this was a reference to the Dunning-Kruger Effect, which Wikipedia describes as "a cognitive bias in which people with limited competence in a particular domain overestimate their abilities." Or, in simpler terms, believing that something is easier than it is either because you don't know enough about the field to know about its intricacies, or because you don't know enough about being talented to realize that there's an entire world of skill above your personal ceiling (ouch).

Sorry if others already explained it or if people just knew this already, but I didn't, so I thought I'd share!

Also, Whit definitely has an interest in science/psychology or something. Or he just gets really, really bored.

Notably, we now know that this is something that DRDTdev will take into account when planning a murder going forward. Therefore, unless the culprit is one of our more athletic folks (of which there are a dwindling number-- mostly just Levi at this point), crimes in the future likely won't require any impressive feats of strength to accomplish. Much to think about.

See, the tragic thing here is that I don't actually think that Levi was trying to say anything ill of Ace by pointing out that he was the more likely of him and Eden to commit murder. After all, he doesn't give a damn about any of the murders he's committed. The worst Ace is probably getting is now being considered as a "bad person" on Levi's list (because "good people" don't kill people), but I don't think that this is the declaration of malice that Ace is taking it as.

Acevi doomed yaoi :,(

DRDTdev never fails to get silly with it and I appreciate that so much.

Just in case anyone is confused about what Teruko's talking about, I actually learned more about clothing starch since I started theorizing about the Chapter 2 murder case, because I worked at a dry cleaner for, like, a week. Suffice it to say, that now makes me an expert B) (/j)

Starch can be added to laundry when it's being washed to make it stiffer and less likely to wrinkle when it comes out to dry. It also makes them easier to iron, and easier to remove stains from. It's often used on dress clothes, just because those are the ones that people more often care about whether they're wrinkled or not. Seemingly, it can come in solid, pre-made liquid, or spray forms. All that is to say, this is absolutely something that could reasonably have been stored in the Dress-Up Room.

And this "evidence" was alluded to ahead of time-- not super far ahead of time, but when Teruko first touches the ball, she says something like, "is that starch?" I think DRDTdev probably included that line so that we wouldn't have to theorize about what could have possibly kept the ball together, but since apparently none of us theorizing last summer (or at least no one I remember talking to) dressed fancily enough to know what clothing starch was, it didn't help out much. As Arturo would say, "how disgusting." (/j)

... DAMMIT!!!

I thought about including the fitness band as a piece of evidence on my A Piece of Evidence That Lines Up With Them Only section, I really did. I just thought that including a minor detail from early in the Daily Life that would clearly only apply if the killer was Ace would be unfair territory, much like if I said, "well, we know that Eden is good at sneaking around because of how she snuck up on Teruko; that could be a killing blow so point to Eden." However, given that the killer is only Ace, it was totally within fair grounds for it to be used as the final piece. Mannnnnn :,(

Fun that he's literally riding a dark horse though. I know he was certainly a dark horse candidate for many of us.

Oh no. 30 images. I'll be back to finish my thoughts in a reblog either later tonight (in my timezone) or tomorrow. Hopefully later tonight. Until then!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #drdt chapter 2 part 2 spoilers #fanganronpa #teruko tawaki #ace markey #eden tobisa #nico hakobyan #charles cuevas #whit young

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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Yearling - Ch. 15: Past

You and Joel have a conversation while on patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-14 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Mention of SA (not described) and general abuse. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 5.1k

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Kissing Joel.

You were kissing Joel.

It was all you could think, for a moment. Like all your head could hold was him, the taste of him, how soft his lips were - he didn’t seem like someone who would have soft lips but his lips were soft and gentle and sweet - the oddly soothing scratch of his facial hair on your skin. For a moment, all you wanted to do was kiss him, kiss him until the day you died.

You were kissing Joel and you were so close to him, closer than you’d been to anyone in so long and your body was starting to move of its own accord and Joel was pulling you against him and you suddenly couldn’t breathe. You didn’t want to separate from him but you couldn’t breathe.

He pulled away from you and you squeezed your already closed eyes tight.

“Sweetheart?” He asked softly. You could feel every twitch of muscle in his body, every adjustment his hands made against you, you were acutely aware of it all. “Hey, you’re OK, it’s just me, I’m not gonna hurt you. Just breathe, you’re safe, it’s just me…”

You opened your eyes then. His face was still close to you but not so close that you were touching, just close enough that you could make out the different shades of brown in his iris. You focused on that, on the other small details you hadn’t been able to take in before. The different shades of brown and gray in his beard, the creases in his skin.

It was Joel. You were safe with Joel. Even if he made you feel out of control, you could trust him. He was safe.

“You with me?” He asked, his voice soothing and gentle.

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly, still feeling a little breathless.

“Need me to stop touching you?”

You thought for a moment. You had to close your eyes again and stop looking at him to be able to actually focus on how you were feeling and not on him.

“Might be good,” you said eventually, opening your eyes again.

“I’m just gonna move your legs,” he said. “Then it’ll be hands off. You’re OK.”

You just nodded and let Joel maneuver your legs off his own and settle your feet on the ground before he moved away from you on the tree trunk. You opened your eyes again, part of you resenting the distance but the part of you that felt panicky and out of control calmed enough to let you take a full breath.

“Sorry,” you muttered after a minute. “I know it seems like I’m completely fucking insane…”

“It doesn’t,” Joel said gently. You scoffed but his eyes met yours, all soft and open. “It doesn’t, Bambi.”

You nodded but weren’t entirely sure you believed him.

“Let’s get the horses settled,” he said. “And we should head in. It’s been a long day.”

You nodded again, more certain this time.

You took your time getting Renaissance set up for the night. Focusing on making sure she was secure, comfortable, had enough food and water. Joel finished before you and left you alone with your horse. You gave her a scratch and she lowered her large head enough that you could put your forehead to her own. She huffed a bit when you did, pressing her nose into your chest like a nudge.

“What?” You asked her, pulling back to frown at her. She huffed again and you glared at her. “Oh don’t act like you’re some expert.”

She nudged you with her nose again.

“Yeah, yeah,” you sighed. “You’re right. As usual.”

You gave her a final scratch before finding Joel again.

He was outside, leaning against a tree, looking out at the woods. He looked back over his shoulder when he heard you coming, your hands awkwardly stuffed into your pockets.

“Ready?” He asked. You gave him a single nod. He gave you one back and led the way into the ski lodge.

You could tell it had been a nice place, once upon a time. The views, even through the dirty windows, were incredible. It made for a good place to keep watch.

“When you get here, you gotta fill out the log book,” Joel said. “Putting in that we ran into trouble from a scouting party but we don’t expect any more…”

“We don’t?” You frowned, looking back at him, your arms crossed over your chest.

“No,” he said almost absently as he made his notes. “He was tellin’ the truth.”

“How can you know?” You asked.

“I know.”

You were quiet for a moment, watching him.

“Where’d you learn how to do that.”

He paused his writing and looked back toward you.

“I’ll tell you if you answer a question for me.”

You watched him for a second.

“Fair enough.”

He finished writing and put down the pen before going to the couch in the middle of the room. It had clearly seen better days but you sat on the opposite end from him, anyway, bringing your legs to your chest and looping your arms around your knees.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?”

You said it again, more like a question this time.

Joel’s jaw tightened for a moment before he spoke.

“There were…” he paused and sighed. “For a few years after the outbreak, before Tommy and I made it to a QZ… Life was hard. Everything was fucking chaos, FEDRA was busy makin’ shit as bad as possible… We tried to make it on our own for a bit. Had to do a lot to survive. Learned quick how to get necessary answers out of people when we needed to.”

You nodded slowly, trying to process that. You’d been lucky, all told, in the outbreak. So far removed from the rest of civilization, you’d run into very little in the way of trouble. But what Joel was saying tracked with what you heard from traders, especially over the first few years of it. The people who had come from outside your corner of the wilderness told gruesome stories of what life there was like. The kind of people who were gaining power then. The kind of people like Mitchum.

You doubted men like Mitchum and his goons would give information away lightly. It made sense that Joel might need to drag it out of them with pain. And you weren’t about to hold torturing raiders against him.

“OK,” you said eventually. “What’s your question?”

He looked at you for a moment, his hands in his lap, before he took a deep breath.

“Need you to know I’m not askin’ this to hurt you,” he said slowly. “I’m askin’ because I can protect you. I want to protect you. I just can’t protect you from something I don’t know.”

You swallowed, hard, but nodded.

“Bambi,” he said slowly. “I need you to tell me about Mitchum.”

***

He wanted to hold you and he couldn’t. That might be the hardest part of this, there was nothing he could do to help you with it.

You’d kissed him and, for a moment, it was the best Joel had felt in years. It was like everything else has fallen away, like the rest of the planet outside of you stopped existing. All he wanted was to pull you closer, kiss you longer, hold you tighter, anything and everything to be with you as much as he could be. And then you froze. You stopped breathing and went stock still, like a startled animal, and he had to separate from you because what he wanted was hurting you and that killed him.

But this might be worse. He knew what he was asking you. But he needed to know. If these men were after you he needed to know what he was dealing with, needed to know how many there were, what they were capable of and why they wanted you. Because he was going to take care of it. He was going to protect you.

Your eyes were wide and on him and you pulled your legs a little tighter into yourself and he fought to stay on his side of the couch. Touching you would hurt you and he wasn’t sure how to help you. He just needed to stay away from you, at least for now.

“Joel,” you said quietly, pleadingly.

“I can’t keep you safe without knowing,” he said, an ache in his chest. “I wish I could but I can’t. I need to know about him, his operation, why he wants you back so damn bad…”

“You’re not gonna look at me the same,” you said, your voice thick.

“Sweetheart…”

“You’re not,” you cut him off. “I know you’re not and…”

“There’s nothing that someone else did to you or that you did because someone else forced you into it that’s going to change how I see you,” he said. “It’s not possible. So unless you’re tellin’ me that you… I don’t fuckin’ know, skinned puppies in your spare time before the outbreak, you’re not going to change a damn thing, not for me.”

You laughed a little bit.

“No,” you said. “Didn’t do that.”

“I’m not someone you need to be afraid of,” he said softly. “Promise m’not.”

You nodded and took a deep breath, tilting your head up to the ceiling for a moment before looking back at him, locking those wide eyes on his.

“It started in September of 23,” you said, your voice almost oddly steady. “I’d developed a bit of a… reputation with the more nomadic folks up that way. Everyone called me Texas, that’s what the first person I ever traded with called me and the name stuck… Anyway, people knew about me, knew that I’d trade horses. So it’s not weird that he showed up looking for me. It was weird that he showed up with a horse already and it was just him and it didn’t feel like he was after horses, not really, not from how he was talking. He told me he ran with a few guys, that they needed mounts and that’s why he was there but… he was asking about my set up, what I had there. He tried to act like it was for trade but there was something wrong with it. He set my teeth on edge and he just kept looking at me. Even when I had my gun on him he just kept looking at me like I was a piece of meat…”

Joel’s jaw tightened and he tried to ignore the way his heart rate picked up.

“I told him to get the fuck out and if I saw him on my land again I’d kill him,” you continued. “He came back a few days later. He brought a lot more men that time. I should have just fucking shot him the first time, I should…”

Your face twisted and you looked away as you almost spat the words at yourself.

“It’s not your fault,” he cut you off. Your eyes snapped back to him, almost like you were remembering that he was there at all. “You were kind. Not your fault that you were kind to someone who didn’t deserve it.”

Your jaw clenched for a second before you nodded.

“He came back,” you took a shaky breath. “I’m not sure how many men he had with them, they were split up, I had defenses in place and shit set up but…” You took another deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment, collecting yourself, before you opened them again. You stared at your thumbs over your knees. “I tried to fight him off. I did, I killed a few of them and I thought… I was overrun. There were just too fuckin’ many of them and there was only so much I could do.

“He took me back with them to a camp,” your voice trailed off and you looked off toward a wall, jaw tight. “I wasn’t anything special at first. There were a few other women there, one who was more of a girl… Guess it doesn’t take much for a bunch of men with guns and no laws to not kill each other all the goddamn time but you have to have something otherwise it’s a bloodbath. Keeping them fed isn’t enough, keeping them out of the elements isn’t enough, you need something that they think makes life worth living, something that makes them OK with blindly following orders. Turns out the best thing is something they can use to get off. Don’t really matter what it is, willing or unwilling, just that it’s a woman and she’s warm. And that’s all I was at first.”

Joel fought to keep his face still and calm, not show the rage that was ripping through him like wildfire, burning and devouring everything. Even the shame and the loathing that he held toward himself. He knew what it took to control men like that. He’d seen it all and sat silent while it happened, too numb to the world to give a shit back then. He thought it was an excuse. That, since he didn’t partake himself, that made him better and that was enough. But it wasn’t.

He didn’t even need think hard to picture what it would have been like for you. He’d been around that shit plenty, heard the screaming and crying and begging and pleading. It turned his stomach to think of your voice like that, to picture your face and your wide, desperate eyes latching onto him as he passed the men having their way, the nameless women thinking he would help because he’d never touched them. He never did.

“Mitchum took a liking to me,” you said. “I was always his first pick. Probably what kept me alive at first, they had to hold back with me because Mitchum would be pissed if I got killed. The girl died first, a few days after I got there. Another woman not too long after that. I managed to get away after about two weeks…”

“They’ve been hunting you that long?” Joel asked. You frowned, confused. He frowned, too. “The men you killed before Tommy and I found you, the man now, they’ve been hunting you that long?”

“No,” you shook your head. “No, they caught me quick. Within days. I didn’t cover my tracks well, I was distracted…”

Joel froze.

“How long…” he trailed off, not wanting to ask it. Not wanting to know what the answer was.

You watched him, shifting as you did, crossing your legs in front of you instead of clutching them close to yourself. You leaned forward a little, almost like you were examining him as he pieced it all together.

“They had me more than two years.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed to keep from vomiting. No wonder you’d been so fucking terrified, it was a goddamn miracle you would even speak to anyone at all.You were still watching him when he opened his eyes again, your face softer than he deserved.

“You survived for two years?”

You nodded, your mouth a thin line.

“They got me back and Mitchum was personally offended that I’d managed to get away at all,” you scoffed a little at that. “Decided to teach me a lesson. He taught me several. But, in the end, it just made him more obsessed. He kept me for himself, after a while, but he’d share me with his right hand men. Sometimes some of the others, too, as a reward. That’s how I knew the man from today. He didn’t run with Mitchum’s crew, he was some prick from another group, one that did something big enough for Mitchum that I was apparently appropriate payment.

“I was the only woman left, for a while,” you sighed. “The others died pretty quick. Others came and went. One lasted a few months, her name was Alyssa. I liked her. Most only lasted a few weeks, a month at most. It was like they would just… turn off. I was so fucking jealous of that, that they weren’t even in their bodies anymore. I couldn’t do that, not really. I think that’s part of why he liked me so much, he liked for it to hurt. You can’t hurt something that doesn’t feel.”

“I’m so sorry,” he began but you cut him off.

“I don’t want your fucking pity, Joel,” you were almost glaring at him. “Knew you wouldn’t look at me the same…”

“It’s not pity,” he said. “You shouldn’t have gone through that. No one should and I’m sorry you did. That ain’t pity that’s just truth.”

You watched him for a moment, skeptical, before you continued.

“I got away last time with help,” you said. “One of Mitchum’s men thought he was better than the others because he liked it if it at least seemed like I enjoyed it, that fuck. But he helped me get away when we were moving to a new place. It was easier then, about half the men were out scouting like the group we saw today.

“I didn’t think he’d be looking for me, not for this long, anyway. He’s well equipped and has a lot of fucking assholes at his disposal. More than 50 total men last time I saw them, fewer than 100, but he has plenty of friends,” you clenched your jaw for a moment and looked out the window. “Joel, if he’s coming after me and he finds out I’m in Jackson…”

“No,” he cut you off.

“I can survive just fine on my own.”

“No,” he said, more forcefully this time. “No, you’re not leavin’. We know how to take care of ourselves, we’re well armed and we’re not stupid. You’re one of us now, not going to just let you leave because some fuckin’ asshole is threatening you. We can keep ourselves safe and that includes you.”

It was almost like you didn’t hear him at all, shaking your head and looking outside.

“Shouldn’t have settled there,” you muttered to yourself. “Should have fucking left…”

“Bambi,” Joel said, sharper than he meant to. Your head snapped around to look at him, your eyebrows drawn together. He wanted to touch you. He kept his hands on his lap. “No. You should have stayed. It’s safe there, the people and animals there need you, Ellie needs you, I need you.”

He said it without thinking about it or really meaning to, but he meant the words. Even though he wasn’t sure you were ready to hear them, he meant them. You looked him over, up and down, like you were searching for something.

“Joel…” Your voice trailed off.

“I do,” he said. “You think I like spendin’ time with just anyone? That I’m Jackson’s resident social butterfly?”

You laughed a little at that.

“I’m there because it’s safe and life’s a hell of a lot better than it was in the QZ,” he said. “It’s good for Ellie to be there, Tommy’s there. That’s what I had. When Ellie stopped talkin’ to me, there were some days… Seemed like I was living to pass her in the mess hall. Then I met you and… Seein’ you is the best part of my damn day, alright? Love that you come borrow the fuckin’ guitar all the time since it means I see you all the time. Didn’t ask Tommy to put us on patrol together but I was so damn happy when he did. Jackson needs you and Ellie needs you but I need you, too. Don’t act like you’re not worth us protectin’ because you are. So let us.”

The two of you sat on opposite ends of the couch for a moment, watching each other.

“Can I try something?” You asked softly. He nodded. You took a deep breath and then crawled across the couch until you were in front of him. “Just… Don’t touch me, OK?”

“OK.”

You sat back on your heels and leaned into him, until your lips were gently against his. You were soft, so damn soft, and he had to fight the urge to pull you closer, kiss you harder. Your mouth grew firmer, more insistent and you moaned into his mouth before you pulled back, your eyes wide as you panted for breath.

“I….” Your fingers traced your lips for a moment. “I need you, too. I’m sorry I’m so…”

“Don’t.”

“I am,” you said. “I know you’re not like them, I know that you’re good and you’re kind and that you wouldn’t hurt me I just…”

“It’s OK,” he said gently. “I understand.”

You sat back further from him, still close enough that he could touch you if you wanted him to.

“I wish you didn’t have to.”

You got up and went to your pack, pulling out jerky and peaches and water. You came back to the couch and handed him a peach. He frowned.

“I’ve seen what you pack for patrol food,” you said. “You’ll get scurvy.”

He laughed a little and ate the peach.

Things were easier after that, like you’d both decided that the the rest of the day hadn’t happened. You talked about music and movies and what shit was like before and it was light and easy, like he hadn’t tortured a man for answers a few hours earlier. Like you hadn’t kissed him on this very couch.

The two of you settled in to sleep early, Joel insisting on giving you the couch as he took the floor. You’d only been silent for a few minutes when you whispered his name in the dark.

“Hm?”

“Can I come down there?” You were still whispering, like it was a secret.

He paused.

“Course.”

He heard you moving, the squeak of old springs in the sofa, the rustle of the fabric of your clothes. You slid against his side and draped part of yourself over him. He slowly, cautiously, arranged his arms around you and you nestled closer. You nuzzled into his neck and took a deep, contented breath, making his heart pound. After a few minutes, your hand slipped up his chest and to his face, your fingertips trailing through his beard and into his hair.

“Bambi,” he breathed.

“Can I…” You were still whispering.

“You can do whatever you want with me,” he said softly.

You pressed your body tighter to his and pulled his face in close to your own before you kissed him. It was deep and needy and Joel could taste the fruit on your tongue. He kept his hands where you’d let them go before, his fingers pressing tight into your skin.

“I need you too,” you said, breathless, when you pulled away from him.

He kissed your forehead and held you close.

“Goodnight, Bambi.”

“Goodnight, Joel.”

***

You’d gotten wet again.

It didn’t take you long to notice it when you woke up this time, the cool slick on your skin obvious as you were wrapped around Joel.

“Bambi,” he said, his voice strained.

“I…” it took you a moment to realize what was happening. You were facing Joel and he was facing you, your leg hitched up over his hip. Your heart was racing and you were wet enough that you were sure Joel’s pants were wet, too. You shocked back from him, sitting up as you did, panting for breath. “I don’t…”

“Think you were dreaming,” he said, his voice gruff.

“I’m so sorry,” your face got hot and you tried to calm your breathing as much as you could. “I don’t…”

“It’s OK,” he said. “It’s…”

“I’m going to go check on the horses,” you took off before he could say another word.

You all but ran outside, going around to the building with the horses through the early morning fog. Renaissance gave you a tired whinny when you opened the door and you went over to give her a scratch as she pressed her large head against your torso. Your heartbeat started to return to normal and you scratched her neck. She huffed against you.

“Don’t have to be so smug about it,” you muttered. She impatiently stomped a hoof. “Hey. I’m working on it.” You stepped back and looked down at her. “Let me get your bridle, get you outside for the day…”

You put some of the tack back on her and led her out to a grassy area where she could graze.

“Hey.”

Joel’s voice made you jump as he caught up to you, stopping a few feet away. He put his hands on his hips.

“Hey,” you said, sticking close to the horse.

“Look, I understand that you weren’t exactly expecting that,” he said. “And…”

“I know it wasn’t you,” you said quickly. “I know it was me…”

Joel nodded slowly.

“Please don’t run off like that on me,” he said after a moment. You frowned. “If you need space from me, that’s OK, but just… tell me. Please don’t just take off.”

You looked at him for a second. It had been so long since you’d had someone else’s feelings to worry about, especially with anything remotely intimate, you hadn’t considered that it probably freaked him out.

“Right,” you said. “Sorry.”

The ride back to Jackson was almost as uneventful as it was agonizing. You could hardly look at Joel, not after… whatever you’d done this morning. Probably tried to dry hump him into oblivion only to freak out the second you were conscious. Because you couldn’t handle shit like a normal fucking person.

The only thing that kept it interesting were some clickers that you picked off from about half a football field away. Joel spotted them first and raised his rifle but you stopped him.

“Can I?” You asked. “Really wanna shoot something.”

“Go ahead, Bambi,” he smiled a little.

You shot the pair of them in quick succession, a strange satisfaction taking hold as you watched them fall to earth, monsters you were fully capable of felling. There was comfort in that.

When you got back to Jackson, you rushed to get Renaissance out of her tack and settled into her stall, ready to get home and put some distance between you and Joel.

You couldn’t trust your body around him. You’d do things before your brain caught up, things that you couldn’t control, things that felt dangerous and made your heart pound in panic instead of desire.

“Bambi,” Joel said quietly. You stopped your work, not able to help looking at him. “If you need some space… Just know that I’m still here for you. When you’re ready.”

You could only nod before watching him go, his horse settled for the night.

You tried to avoid Joel for two days.

Tried.

But your life had become so in sync with his, you ran into him everywhere. At the mess hall, on the street, when he came by the stable. He respectfully kept his distance, making eye contact with you, like he was seeing if you were going to talk to him again, and not pushing it when you broke away.

And while he scared you - the intensity of your feelings for him, the way he knew you now, how your body reacted to his - you also missed him. His kind smile and gentle teasing and soft touch. You couldn’t get him out of your head, the way he looked, the way he felt, the way he tasted.

That’s where your mind got stuck as you lay in bed, alone, two nights after you got back from patrol. Every time you closed your eyes you saw him there, the way he looked just before you kissed him. There was an ache between your thighs, one that was nearing pain, that was well past wanting and had pushed into need.

You needed Joel. You hadn’t needed anyone like this in so long - years - but you needed Joel. You needed his hands on you, needed his lips on your own, needed to feel him deep inside.

“I’m still here for you,” he’d said. “When you’re ready.”

You slid a hand down your body to the apex of your thighs and traced your clit, your sex warm and wet below your fingers. You took a deep, shaky breath and thought of Joel as you circled your sensitive nub, increasing the pressure, working yourself harder and faster. Your orgasm built, the ache in your body becoming more acute, the tightness growing.

But you couldn’t finish. There was some kind of roadblock keeping you from it, something stopping you from finding relief. And all you could picture was Joel. After a while, you gave up with a whimper and tried to sleep, but you couldn’t do that, either. You were too keyed up, too turned on, too needy.

“I”m still here for you. When you’re ready.”

“Fuck it,” you said, buttoning the shirt of Joel’s you were wearing to bed up and changing into a pair of shorts that weren’t wet with your own slick.

Jackson was quiet as you walked to Joel’s, everyone asleep for the night. You had no idea what time it was, just that it was late enough that you were an asshole for showing up at anyone’s house at this hour.

You all but ran up his front steps and opened his screen door to knock on the main one with a little too much force. You let the screen door fall closed and you paced, waiting for what felt like an eternity when a light inside switched on. You stopped pacing, almost centered on the front door as Joel opened it, a sleepy expression on his face.

He was wearing a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt, his arms looking almost frustratingly sculpted, the fit of the shirt outlining his chest and stomach. The ache in you got worse.

“Bambi?” He asked, opening the screen door, too. “Everything OK? What are you doing…”

You couldn’t help it. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him, pressing your whole body into his. You could feel every line of him you were so close to him and, for the first time, the ache eased. Joel was what you wanted, needed. It was like everything was going to be OK now that you had him with you. His hands went to your waist, holding you to him. He moaned into your mouth, his grip on you firm and strong.

You pulled back from him just enough to see his face, your eyes searching his. He looked a lot more awake now. You were breathless.

“Can I come inside?”

He panted and nodded before stepping aside and letting you into his home.

Next Chapter

A/N: Hiiiiiiii y'all :D

I think we all know what's coming (heh... coming) next chapter, right?

I hope you enjoyed this insight into Bambi's history, too. I don't intend on ever being too insanely graphic with it (though we will see more flashbacks with Mitchum) because I think we all understand what happened to her without going into detail. The violence itself was never the point, just how she heals and reintegrates into society and develops relationships after surviving it.

If you'd like to be alerted when I post, please follow my updates blog here and subscribe :)

Thank you so much for sticking with this story! I know it's been an incredibly slow burn but I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed sharing it. Love you!!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #yearling #smut fic #joel miller x oc

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melonteee · 4 months ago

Note

I am still pretty early in one piece, but I know a lot about future arcs, (don’t really care about spoilers) I’m just wondering, since you are a Sanji fan, how did you feel about him pre-whole cake? Since he seemed to get super pervified post time skip in general.

LMAO I loved him a lot 😭😭 Fishman Island didn't bother me to the extent it did others because we were TOLD he was not his normal self and there was something wrong with him. Like, yes, it was a bad gag, but the gag is literally that he ISN'T himself. People left that little piece of info out when talking about Fishman Island Sanji, so when I watched it and Sanji HIMSELF went "wtf is wrong with me??" I was like ?? IS this so bad??? LMAO

The WORST he did during Fishman Island (in terms of perv gags) was sniff Perona, but apart from that ....what did he do?? Nosebleed everywhere?? Turn to....stone?? The mermaids all loved him and cooed at him, he got a nosebleed because he was being flirted with, maybe it's because I was expecting it to be TERRIBLE due to ppl telling me to be careful, but I was like ???? This is truly not that bad am I just insane DJFHGKD

Either way, after Fishman, his perv gags really are few and far between. Punk Hazard had him going boioioing with Nami's oobies while he was in her body, but to me they didn't...feel all that terrible? Maybe I'm not disgusted by his nosebleeds I don't know lol but people acted like he was just an irredeemable deviant when it didn't feel like that at all to me. Because even with his pervy jokes, he still did things like help save Kinemon, protect Nami's body to his best extent and cry in joy because HE took on all the pain that Nami didn't have to. He believed in and saved Viola to the point she fell for him, he protected the crew and saved the minks in Zou and much more that I've left out.

I'm of the opinion that, yes, his gags are more THERE now, but they still only take up like ?? 15% of his character?? Honestly not even that. People act like he can't be normal around women now when it's like ?? he can be and he does??? He's had plenty of very normal interactions with Nami, Robin, and other women he's come across. Sometimes he gets funny but it's just a straight up lie to say he's ALWAYS like that and it peeves me so greatly hhhhhh

His time before WCI still had him be sweet and kind and caring the majority of the time we see him, and people just hyper lock in on a gag he has once out of like, 10-15 chapters for some reason. As always, I'm not saying people can't be uncomfortable with it, but it is blatantly untrue to say that's ALL he became after the timeskip? I genuinely think it's a fandom misconception because I was so confused when I got to the timeskip and he wasn't this HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE perverted deviant everyone was making him out to be LMAO

Tldr I still loved him VERY much in the timeskip, and I loved him MORE after WCI <333

#ask #melonask

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cressidagrey · 6 months ago

Text

The Starlight Princess - Chapter 2

Summary:

There is a Pool of Starlight in the Spring Court. A piece of the Night Court that has no business being in the land of Eternal Spring. So how did it come to be?

Or: How the Spymaster of the Night Court starts hearing a voice, realises that no, he is not insane after all, frees a princess, kills a High Lord…and finds his mate all at the same time.

Warnings:

Discussion of the Death of Rhys’ Mother and Sister, Discussion of pre-mediated death, Tamlin bashing

He came awake with a start. And then the memories of last night assaulted him.

It was crystal clear in his mind, once again.

This couldn’t be. This couldn’t be… It must have been a dream, right?

And if not a dream, an alcohol-induced hallucination. Or maybe he had gone completely insane and had started to hear voices. Well, more voices than usual. He was not going to count his shadows.

That would just be…

Master has not gone insane, the shadows told him drily.

*Thanks for calling me an alcohol-induced hallucination.* Seren’s voice was dripping with disdain.

His head hit back onto the pillow as he stared unseeingly at the ceiling.

Azriel swallowed. This couldn’t…

*You are still there,* he realised weakly. He could hear her laughter in his mind…wafting over him like summer rain.

*Not for long. Tamlin will be waking up soon. When he’s asleep, his grip on the wards is loosened. Makes it much easier for me to…make contact so to speak,* she explained, softly. Regret tinged her voice.

If it was truly her…if it was…

It made him furious. The thought of Seren’s abilities being reduced to this, made him furious. It was…

*You aren’t real,* he tried. He tried to make his voice sound certain.

He tried to push against her, but he had never been good at getting Seren to back off. Mostly, because every fibre of his very being wanted to give in to her. Give in to her siren’s song and do everything in his power to earn that beautiful smile on her face…Give in and make her laugh and give her whatever she needed.

He wanted to give in. He needed to give in.

*You taught me how to wield twin blades.* It was so out of left field that he could just swallow. But it was the truth. And it was something nobody knew. Nobody but them. *You had a pair of them made for me for my 17th birthday. They were inlaid with amethysts at the hilt. And you had them engraved, Azriel.*

He did. He did have them engraved. They had been her gift. From him.

Something he had given her, and spared no expense for…something that he had wanted her to have…something that…

*We trained every morning you were there…before my parents woke. So they didn’t know. We kept it a secret.* She continued. It was the truth as well. Every day, before the House of Wind had become awake…the shadows were on the lookout, ready to cloak them in darkness if anybody caught as much as a whiff of them…if anybody had ever found out, there would have been…there would have been hells to pay. Azriel didn’t doubt for one moment that her father wouldn’t have killed him.

*You let me hold Truthteller when I was 15. Because I was upset that my father said that all I would ever amount to would be to be a proper wife, even if that was the last thing he did.* Her voice choked.

The first time he had ever let that blade out of his hand. He had given it to Elain centuries later…but Seren had been the first one that had held it other than him. Seren had been…

He had offered it to her and she had taken it, slim fingers wrapping around the hilt.

And she had wanted to learn how to use it, and he had taught her.

Dagger lessons had turned into twin blades and into whatever else he could think of.

It had been…

*We fought before I…before it happened,* she whispered the last sentence, the last blow…it could have decapitated him and it would have hurt him less.

Azriel would always, always regret that last conversation.

Always regret that for once he had stood up to her…that he hadn’t gone along with her hare-brained plan. The plan of a 17-year-old who had wanted to escape the arranged marriage her father had wanted to put her in…just like Morrigan had wanted close to two centuries before that. Just that Morrigan had seduced Cassian but had absolutely no plans to marry him. Seren…Seren had very different plans. Plans that had involved Azriel.

And he had been too much of a fool to follow through with it. Even when he had wanted to. Gods, had he wanted to.

*I am so sorry,* he choked out.

*Don’t,* she cut him off. *I should have known…that…you wouldn’t have gone along with it. You were always…dutiful.*

And what had that resulted in?

*You are more important than any duty to this court,* he whispered. More important than anything.

*We were in a precarious situation. You were right. My father would have hunted us to the ends of the earth. Especially because I was underage. And he would have been well within his rights to kill you.*

He would have. That had been the one thing stopping Azriel.

Not the fear for himself…he would have gladly died if that meant that it bought Seren her freedom. But the fear of what her father would have done to her, if he had ever caught up to them…caught up to them running as far away as they could.

What he would have done, if Azriel wasn’t there any longer to protect her. He should have just killed the then-High Lord. It would have been…better for everybody involved.

*Rhys would have never forgiven you,* Seren quipped, having caught that throwaway thought.

*But you would have?* he shot back. He couldn’t deal with her anger. Not at him. And him killing her father…

*I hated him for what he did to you. To my mother. To my brother. So no. Maybe I should have killed him. He had shoddy mental barriers. I could have just squashed his mind. Then we wouldn’t even have been in that mess in the first place,” Seren seethed.

Her anger just fired her on his own, before suddenly it receded as suddenly as it had come. *I am sorry,* she apologised softly. *I wish we could have had more time.*

More time. Who didn’t want more time?

He wanted it.

Every fucking day, he wished he could turn back time. *I wish that too.*

*Tamlin is…* her voice grew weaker and he already knew that Tamlin must be waking up.

*Go. Don’t hurt yourself for me.* he said immediately, his own head throbbing.

She left.

And Azriel…Azriel forced himself up. Forced himself to down the hangover cure he had kept stashed away…forced himself to drink two glasses of water.

No more voices.

His hallucinations seemed to be only her. Only Seren. Only Seren with her knowledge of things that only the two of them would have known.

So maybe it wasn’t hallucinations after all.

Maybe it was…Go to the spring court. Find me that Pool of Starlight, he demanded of the shadows. If it was true…if it was…

He didn’t allow himself to hope.

Master? the shadows questioned, surprised at his forceful order.

Find me that Pool of Starlight. If it’s true, we’ll…we’ll get the Princess back.

The Princess?!

The Princess, he agreed. The shadows danced in response, utterly delighted by that promise.

And he was too.

Seren.

If he could do something, anything to get Seren back… he would. He didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t. She mattered. She was the only thing that mattered.

If he could get her back…

Research. He needed research.

He needed…

He didn’t even bother with flying, instead, he was at the House of Wind as soon as he had choked down something that passed for breakfast, letting the shadows take him above it and plummeted to the ground, only to take off as quickly as he allowed himself to.

Clotho was at her usual desk. If she was surprised by his sudden appearance, she didn’t let it show.

Shadowsinger, her enchanted pen wrote on her pad of paper.

“I…need to use the library. Please,” he brought out weakly. It was just a step above begging but he didn’t care. He would beg. He would plead. He would steal and lie and murder and he didn’t care. If it meant that…He would slaughter his way through Prythian if he knew that he would get her back safely.

For the High Lord?

“No, for me. Please. I need to…I need to know if I…I need to know if I can…If I can save somebody.”

The library is at your disposal, shadowsinger, Clotho wrote and he gave her something that may passed as a grim smile.

So he entered the library, found himself the sections with curses and then started pulling any kind of book that may looked like it could be helpful.

70 feet from the Manor is a Pool of Starlight, Master.

His knees weakened.

Maybe he wasn’t insane after all.

Thank you.

We’ll save Princess?

Even if it’s the last thing we’ll do.

Problem only was…that he didn’t have as much as a clue with what to start.

He pulled everything he could find about Spring’s shapeshifting abilities, needing to know how it worked to shift something organic and sentient into something very much not alive and still sentient.

The nearest comparison that he could think of was Jurian, who had been trapped in that ring, but even that didn’t seem to quite fit. Especially because it hadn’t been Spring Court magic that had transformed her and that would work different than whatever spell that had been used on Jurian.

And if it was Spring Magic, then how was he supposed to break it?

He got the usual heaping of Killing Power every Illyrian had, and his shadowsinger abilities meant that he had…a few things that definitely weren’t usual, but none of it made him a particularly powerful spell-breaker.

The best idea he had gotten had been to seduce Helion to do him a favour. Though Azriel highly doubted that the High Lord of Day would be very amused if Azriel showed up on his doorstep rambling like an insane person about Pools of Starlight, Princesses and Shapeshifting. If he needed to do that though, he was not above begging. Not even from Helion or from whoever else seemed like they at least had some kind clue how to…

The one thing every single book agreed on though, was Seren should have spent the last 300 years going insane, and not seem as mostly…alright as she had been during their quick conversations.

She had seemed very much sentient and very much not insane.

Well, not more insane than she ever had been.

Halfway through the afternoon, he did need to take a break from his research, compile notes about missions and new intel into tidily written reports and fly over to the River House to hand them off to Rhysand and Cassian who was still nursing a hangover.

At least somebody enjoyed the festivities.

Rhys mustered him, violet eyes tight with worry, but Azriel ignored that. He had more important things to worry about.

*Does he still spend 30 minutes doing his hair and pretend that he doesn’t?* Seren asked him, fond amusement colouring her voice as she slid into his mind and he opened up to her, letting her see what he saw.

Her emotions bled over to him, her love for her brother, her longing…sweet and soft.

*Is Tamlin taking a nap?* Azriel asked her, wondering why she was able to do this in the middle of the day.

*No, hunting a poor deer. It’s easier the more…animalistic he goes.* Seren answered quietly. She was content just to watch as Cassian and Rhys discussed some plans for the next few weeks…

And then he could feel Seren’s startle of surprise, as he heard the high giggling and scampering of feet as 18-month-old Nyx came toddling into his father’s office, demanding Rhys’ attention.

*Who’s… that?* Seren asked, even her mental voice sounding hoarse, as he watched Rhys scoop up his wayward son.

*Nyx. Your nephew,* Azriel responded softly. *Your brother found his mate a few years ago. Her name is Feyre.*

She was quiet for a long few minutes, as they both watched Rhys settle Nyx on his lap, the toddler ready to destroy his father’s careful organisation with a few swipes of his pudgy little arms.

*Please tell me she runs roughshod all over him. He deserves that,* Seren finally whispered.

*She does.*

She disappeared again, as he went back to the Library, continuing his research…and then showed up again once he was safely back at his house, when the night sky had long since darkened…Tamlin probably safely asleep.

Azriel had half a mind to kill him.

So when Seren slid back into his mind, and he could feel her careful touch…like she didn’t want to take up too much room, like she didn’t want to hurt him…

*Tell me what happened that day,* he asked.

He could feel her terror at these words.

And then, wordlessly…she pushed snapshots at him.

He was right there in her memories…in her terror…the coldness biting against her wings as she soared through Illyria…the rain of arrows that suddenly hit her…the wordless scream as she plummeted to the ground…

she had been unconscious by the time she had hit the ground.

She hadn’t…she had heard her mother’s wordless screams but she hadn’t seen what happened…by the time she was completely awake again, Seren had already been brought to Spring…already been clad in cuffs made out of a blue stone…

Faebane.

As long as my blood walks this earth, you shall be bound to Spring.

That had been the words of Tamlin’s father, the then High Lord of Spring…and then there had just been excruciating pain as he and his sons forced their magic upon Seren.

She pulled away from him, leaving him with her memories and he turned over the words, again and again echoing into his mind.

As long as my blood walks this earth…as long as…

*It’s blood-based,* he realised. *That’s…That’s…That’s dark magic.*

Magic most faes would flinch away from…Magic that… *Magic is not inherently dark or light. The wards on Velaris are just as blood-based,* Seren disagreed, the scholar of her coming out. Spellcrafting had been a hobby for her of sorts, and Azriel had often found her in the library of the House of Wind, annoying the scholars who had then worked there. But even they had been unable to turn down the Princess of Starlight.

*The purpose is what matters,* he repeated the words she had told him that often.

*Yes,* she agreed. *The purpose.*

Azriel knew the purpose of this. And it was dark and he didn’t fucking care what anybody else had to say.

*Well, at least we know how to break it,* he said darkly. *I’ll kill Tamlin.*

#the starlight princess #the starlight princess story #acotar fanfiction #azriel x rhys' sister #azriel x oc

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moonlightazriel · 7 months ago

Text

Chapter 15: The plan /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: They go back to the Night Court to form a plan.

Word Count: 2,2K

Warnings: SUMT!

Notes: This was supposed to be released this morning, but your girl over here, overslept duo still being sick and woke up at lunch time! Enjoy the reading kids!

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

“We need to go back to the Night Court.” She spoke again, the cold breeze from the open window making her body shiver. Azriel tried not to look at her pert nipples, as she still stood naked in the middle of the room.

“Yeah, yeah, we can go tomorrow.” Azriel said, approaching her, his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing the scar on the side of her face that only added to her astonishing beauty. He had never seen someone so beautiful in his life, scars and all.

“And we need as many Vanserras as we can find.” Her breath hitched as his lips started to wander down, kissing the column of her neck, making her dizzy with lust.

“I'll get you an army of them.” He said, rubbing his clothed cock against her wet abdomen.

She whimpered as he bit into the pulsating vein of her neck, pumping life into that wonderful body. He thanked the Mother that she was still alive and that she was still in his life, he would worship the ground she walked on for the rest of eternity without complaining.

A claw dragged across his left wing, making them twitch and he groaned against her skin, sinking his teeth further without even noticing, a tickle of blood ran down her neck, he licked it back, feeling the metallic taste on his tongue.

“Did you just drink my blood?” She asked in between the whimpers that left her mouth, her pussy throbbing with excitement to have him inside of her again. Not only arousal coated her thoughts, but the need to taste his blood. She licked her lips thinking about the sweet taste he must have.

“I'm so sorry…” She interrupted him, pulling his head up and holding his chin, he was at her mercy, completely drunk off her.

“It's only fair now that you allow me to do the same.” She hissed and Azriel felt his cock painfully restraining against his clothes, he would let her do whatever she wanted with him. So he nodded.

Her hand wrapped around his neck, making him moan pornographically at the feeling, usually he was the one in charge, but having her pushing him backwards with her hand tightly clutched to his neck made something to him.

The back of his legs hit the bed and he fell, her glorious naked form hovering over him like a goddess. With an iron claw she slit his neck open, the red substance started to pour and she leaned down, her hips caging him against the bed and her lips attached to his neck.

His blood was as sweet as she imagined, the taste driving her insane. She grinded her hips against his clothed cock, her clit bumping against him and she moaned against his neck, his fingers dipping in the soft plump skin of her waist.

He couldn't keep doing it or he would cum in his pants like a teenager. So he forced her to stop her movements, earning a disapproving growl from the female. Her tongue licking one last stripe on his neck before the wound started to close and he manhandled her into the bed.

Like a hungry male, Azriel spread her legs wide open, his warm tongue licking her clit, making her body jolt with the sudden wave of pleasure that overcame her with that simple move. He kept licking her up and down, feasting on her sweet cunt.

Y/N moaned, her fingers grabbing his unruly hair and forcing his face further against her pussy. Her hips rocking back and forth, making a glistening mess on his face. He kept lapping at her folds, two fingers pumping inside her, curling upwards to hit that perfect spot inside her.

She felt a knot forming quickly on her belly, all the worries of the day forgotten as she lost herself in the feeling of his tongue against her skin, sucking, kissing and licking her cunt so deliciously that her eyes rolled so hard that she wondered how they got back into their original position.

Her back formed a perfect arch in the bed, her toes contracting and her walls clenching around his fingers. She was about to cum when Azriel suddenly pulled it all out, stopping his movements and getting up.

She rested her weight on her elbows, her blue coated cheeks looked adorable that way. She watched as he stripped his clothes off, first his shirt, slowly revealing inches of his tanned, defined abdomen to her hungry gaze.

He discarded his shirt somewhere, neither of them caring about the mess in the room. After it was his pants, his powerful thighs making her salivate, but her eyes drifted to the bulge in his underwear, the contour of his cock leaving her eager for him, more wetness pooling on her cunt, dripping from her thighs and staining the sheets.

Azriel revealed his long cock, tip leaking precum, twitching with the air that entered from the window. He was so beautiful, she wanted to learn every little detail of his body, never getting tired of seeing him naked. She needed him like she needed the air in her lungs.

Azriel pushed her chest down so she was laying again. He positioned himself in the middle of her thighs, coating his cock in her juices, making her shiver with anticipation.

He sunk his cock down, filling her to the brim with him, she gasped at the feeling. Just so he would slide all the way out, to slam on her again. He set a slow pace, prolonging their moment just a little while longer before he pounded into her hard and fast.

She moaned as his lips attached back to her breasts, playing with her nipples. All the pleasure building up again quicker than before. His hands held her wrists together above her head as he slammed his cock repeatedly against her cunt.

Squelching sounds filled the room, their bodies fitting perfectly together, like the Mother made them for each other, and as time went on, Azriel was sure that she really sculpted her to be his perfect match. His equal in every form, his mate.

He removed himself, spinning her until her abdomen was against the bed and her ass was held high in the air for him, with a handful of her hair, he entered her again. Pounding like crazy, the bed started to crack, but that didn't stop him from his brutal pace.

The orgasm that hit her made her whole body collapse on the bed, squirming and shaking, her walls fluttering around his cock. Azriel wrapped a hand around her neck, pulling her up, with her back flush against his chest.

He kept fucking her oversensitive walls. She kept her eyes shut as wave after wave of pure bliss consumed her body. Azriel’s movements faltered and he cummed inside her, coating her wall with his slick.

He turned her head towards him, clashing his lips against hers, as his cock released the last drops of his spent inside her warmth. He let go of her, pulling out and grabbing her bridal style so they could get cleaned up and have their well deserved rest.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

When she woke up the next day, Azriel wasn't in bed, she looked around but the sheets were cold, like he got up hours ago. Her body felt relaxed and a bit sore from their activities yesterday but she got up anyway.

She couldn't find her bags, just a pair of leathers and her toothbrush, maybe Azriel wasn't there cuz he was busy packing. So she did her daily routine, pulling her hair up in a ponytail and strapping her sword against her back and her cloak in place.

Downstairs she found Jurian having breakfast, he motioned for her to join him and she did, sitting in front of him before starting to fetch things from the table so she could eat.

“Thank you, I was starving.” She said, biting into a piece of bacon.

“I can imagine, after yesterday.” She felt her cheeks hot in embarrassment at the thought that maybe they had heard them, but Jurian quickly dismissed her concerns. “I would be shitting my pants if I was locked up with Koschei, or Mantyx, whatever his true name is.”

“We're going back to the night court, will you join us?” She didn't want to talk about how she felt inside his lair, at least not this early in the morning.

“I can't, can't leave my wife alone, she would kill me.” Y/N raised an eyebrow, curiosity lacing her features.

“You and Vassa?” Jurian nodded.

“You know, she didn't resist my charm.” The female laughed, bowing her head towards him.

“Where are my manners? I'm in the presence of a King.” Jurian rolled his eyes.

“Oh shut up!” She suppressed a smile.

“Yes, your highness.” Jurian flipped her off and in that exact moment Azriel and Lucien appeared, the two very sweaty and with some fading bruises.

“Good morning.” Azriel said, kissing her forehead and sitting by her side, stealing a piece of pancake from her plate.

“Good morning, what happened to you?” She looked at the two, smiling at Lucien.

“Good old training.” The redheaded male replied. The four of them finished their breakfast, cleaning everything afterwards, leaving Y/N to feed Meraxes while Lucien and Azriel got ready.

This time, they would travel as fast as they could, not having time to waste after her discoveries, they had to prepare and act fast. So thirty minutes later they were ready to leave.

“I’ll be back soon, this way is faster.” She said, Meraxes pouting at her, she rubbed his leg. “I promise to you, Jurian will take good care of you.”

The wyvern eyed the male up and down and huffed, prompting him to act offended. Lucien had convinced her that winnowing would be faster than flying, it took her a lot of time and more sheeps than the normal to convince Meraxes to stay behind. She looked at him one more time, feeling her heart clench at the thought of leaving him behind.

But her thoughts were cut short as Lucien grabbed hers and Azriel's hands, doing his thing and winnowing them back to the Night Court.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

They all sat at the dinner table in the River House, Elain had jumped on Lucien the moment they stepped in the house. Nesta was in a sour mood, finally being let out of that damned cabin. Feyre held Nyx as usual.

“After a very interesting moment inside Koschei’s cabin, I found some interesting things.” She started.

“You went inside the cabin?” Rhysand asked with a horrified expression, what the hell was she thinking?

“Yeah, but that's not what matters here.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “Koschei is actually Mantyx, the middle Valg King from the Valg dimension.”

She then proceeded to tell them the whole story about when he first found Prythian, telling them about Celeste using the cauldron to bound the prince, the princess and the King to their respective cages. She talked about how he wanted Nesta and how only she could help killing Mantyx.

“So you're telling me that the only way to kill him is to free him?” Nesta spoke in disbelief.

“Precisely.” Y/N replied.

“But we managed to take both the Stryga and The Bone Carver out of their prisons without the cauldron, and they're both dead now.” Feyre said. It didn't make any sense to her.

“Just cuz we offered them deals, we bound their lives to ours in the process.” Rhysand explained.

“And they were killed when Hybern used the cauldron on them.” Cassian added. “We need to plan before we act, get everything we need to make sure we kill him.”

“He probably has his monsters lurking around his island.” Azriel pointed. “We would need to get rid of them because they would definitely attack.”

“We can prepare some legions, take them with us so they fight while Lucien, Nesta and Y/N fight Koschei.” Rhysand said, the plan starting to form in his head.

“But how do we prevent him from getting away from the lake, who guarantees that he won't use his army to distract us while he runs away to Ramiel?” Elain asked, her eyes wandering far and her hands clutched to Lucien’s.

“Celeste knew how.” The male started. “If her powers run in my veins, it also runs in my brother's. Beron isn't a Vanserra, he took after our mother’s family name, she passed down Celeste’s power, not him.”

“Do you think your brothers would help?” Lucien nodded.

“I can convince them.” He promised.

“So we use them for what?” Nesta inquired.

“They will guarantee that Koschei won't go anywhere, they will keep him trapped, the only part is that we'll be also trapped inside.” Y/N concluded and Nesta looked at her.

“The power of the cauldron and Celeste's power together, we can take that motherfucker down.”

“I pray to the mother that we are right.” Feyre said, her blue eyes filled with despair.

“We are going in the right direction, I can feel it.” Elain reassured them.

“So what do we do now?” Rhys asked.

“I'll prepare the Illyrians.” Cassian said getting up.

“I'll finally go home, and I'll be back with my brother's.” Lucien offered a hand to Elain. “Will you go with me?” She nodded in agreement, love filled the gaze she directed him.

“And I..” Y/N pointed to Nesta. “I'm fulfilling my part of the deal, I'm bringing him Nesta.”

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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#azriel #shadowsinger #azriel x reader #night court #moonlightazriel #velaris #sarahjmaas #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #azriel x y/n #azriel x oc #azriel acotar #worlds apart fic

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