#there’s no such thing as solidarity and everything feels hopeless

[tariah23]

Black ppl were the only ones who never fell for this shit tbh

[youmakethelight]

I actually might delete this blog tbh. Not that anyone asked.

I made this side blog 2 months ago bc I loved season 10 of TWD so much that I got really invested in rewatching the whole series for Carol and Daryl, and I wanted to write my thoughts somewhere instead of continuing to annoy my friends who never watched the show. But all my thoughts then were really positive and fun and brought me joy. And now, ever since I've seen the reality of the turn things took in real life, it's just so depressing.

The way Carol and Melissa McBride are treated makes me feel truly fucking horrible. And I've tried to channel that into activism and using my voice in solidarity, but I'm finding it more and more depressing honestly. Most of the voices that made me feel stronger have disappeared, and I'm starting to feel hopeless. And that's especially when I realise how much shit already went on in the past few years before I was here.

It's been a whirlwind few months for me bc I stopped watching TWD years ago and just caught up and binge watched from season 9. After I finished, I found out about everything the fandom, Melissa, and Angela Kang went through regarding the spin-off. Knowing that even after that, we got Melissa back, gave me hope. But seeing how much AMC has ignored other issues and fans' voices makes me feel disheartened. It feels a bit like I'm exerting emotional energy only to be shouting into a void.

It feels wrong to try to move on and leave because the issues remain, and Melissa McBride, in particular, needs and deserves support. But I honestly don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

A week or so ago, I signed up to a website to write fan reactions, reviews etc. about tboc because I thought that could have some positive impact. So, maybe I'll do that... but to be honest, I don't think I've got it in me anymore. I guess I just feel like I'm doing significantly more emotional labour than will have positive impact.

Even when I try to consume feminist progressive media instead, I just keep being reminded of how shit it is that AMC can't do the same for Melissa and her fans, and anybody who works on or watches the show who isn't a straight cis white man. So, then I get upset by a thought I have and go on here or twitter to try to do something positive about it, but it feels sort of pointless. So, now I'm at a point where this blog doesn't bring me joy, and I don't feel like it helps anyone, so I just don't think it's worth it anymore?

I'm literally so bad at giving up on things, so there's a decent chance I won't leave. But to be honest, I want to. I'm tired.

[mc-critical]

And there we have yet another instance of Gülfem relating to a mother experiencing the pain of possibly losing her child to sickness, of seeing her child suffer so small, and that exact powerlessness she feels when her child is struggling against these unavoidable circumstances (this time it's Hürrem with Cihangir in E53). It can be seen in Gülfem's eyes how she's almost reliving the past (as this particular situation perhaps most resembles what she went through herself), but she's trying hard to contain it and she does, extending a hand of support to Hürrem instead and giving her strength: they should hope that everything would get better, they should believe in the goodwill of these bigger forces (in order for the forces to work with them, not against them), or it would all get too overwhelming to bear. But what's even more interesting in their little scene together in the terrace of SS's chambers is how the parallels and contrasts of their views on outside forces really come to shine until everything overlaps.

Both advocate in one's own capability to step up and act to better their lives when they can (and both have expressed that to Hatice in particular), both have gathered strength to go on when they were about to give up through the support of their closest (Hürrem with her parents and her sister, Gülfem with the dynastic family) as well as their own strength, but where Hürrem almost has to overrely on her own strength due to barely having the support she needs in Topkapi (and the constant hurdles that she's made to overcome), Gülfem almost puts her own strength aside while exhibiting it due to capitalizing on the far-reaching support she's gotten after her loss (and her calmer predicament). {Gülfem goes with the flow after what she's already lost in order not to lose anymore, it's impossible to go any further than she did after that tragedy struck her and she feels like the one at fault, she's the one to have messed it all up anyway, the outside forces matter less than her, while Hürrem goes against the flow, she has to establish something of her own and safeguard it in order not to lose anymore, she must go as far as she can against any force that could take what she has away and only then when it's inevitably taken anyway, does she feel at fault, the outside forces have done their thing but it should've been her, not them - the what, the who and the how still matter, however.} Hence Gülfem can't help but push Hürrem to exert the only agency left to exert in such hopelessness (to "not think bad things" because if one does, these bad things may indeed come true and one may accelerate it; it'll be their fault again), but Hürrem is not able to do that as she feels way too helpless, like there's nothing else she can do - this really doesn't seem like something she can exert her will over as two days have passed, but Cihangir still aches and no one even knows what exactly is happening (Yasef is diagnosing him right that second, but Hürrem is told to wait outside) or could happen with him (the worry and sadness don't leave Hürrem, they increase as she lets them out). She has no strength she can rely on, her strength isn't enough, their strength won't be enough. Though no matter how much Gülfem and Hürrem may lean on whatever support they have otherwise, they're both well aware that no tangible support can fully comprehend this kind of heartache (not to mention that SS had disappointed Hürrem recently, so she didn't seek even his support, while to Gülfem, SS is unreachable by default), so the only one left is Allah. Hürrem and Gülfem have both leaned on Allah as a sharer of their suffering (both say "Only I and Allah know how much I've suffered / what I went through." in E43 and E48 respectively), so they have no other choice but to cling to him yet again. And they find solidarity with one another in that. It's been up to these two to console other people and not let them dwell on bad outcomes (E10), but now they both share a scene where one consoles the other for and through something they both understand and wish all the best for (SS, Hürrem's children and Hürrem herself), no matter how much of their pains they expose to each other (while Gülfem suppresses, focusing on what the other is dealing with, Hürrem actually reveals a part of how she herself is impacted by this too for the first time). It's not merely the fraught hope or the knee-jerk feeling that they'll get through this, it's them completely leaving themselves to the will of the most powerful force who can make that possible after they concur on how to keep on and a deep breath is taken (when Hürrem says "Amen").

[burgerrat]

@hofnarrofficial said: gimme everything you got just bury me alive (only if thats possible ofc lmao)

Ok.

Turbo's favourite movie is Herbie: Fully Loaded

He has ALWAYS been flamboyant/effeminate like you see King Candy being. I hate seeing people portray Turbo as this perpetually grumpy/angry bitter person all the time all because of the revelation scene being the one 'real scene' we have of Turbo in his original form. The reason why Ralph wouldn't recognize the similar behaviour pattern is because he didn't know Turbo well enough since he rarely ever left his own game unless it was to go to Tapper's to have a root beer and brag about winning to anyone who'd listen (mainly Felix). Need a 'draw/write Turbo being silly and goofy like King Candy is' solidarity.

Contrary to popular belief, he does like the color pink- he just has a very specific preference for that particular salmon shade of pink.

Turbo and the twins all had racecar beds to sleep in back in TurboTime.

Candybug's desire to take over the entire arcade at the end of the movie is his new cy-bug coding speaking; all Turbo has ever wanted is to race again and be in the spotlight. He would struggle to control his bug instincts not just in terms of resisting beacons of light but also in terms of acting upon intrusive thoughts in general. Mix that with anger and hopelessness that he'll likely never be able to drive again in this new form and you've got the perfect recipe for disaster, because what more does he have to lose?

Do not misunderstand: I too dislike the trope of 'he's just misunderstood' since that is far from the truth, but that doesn't mean he can't have moments where you feel empathy for him (at least in my case): you are programmed to be the protagonist of your world, the best, that is your sole purpose in the life you have. You become addicted to the attention you recieve- foolishly not thinking once that it's possible that may not be the same thing tomorrow. Once that is suddenly taken away, you don't understand why- you're the best. And because you are the best, instead of processing your losses normally, you won't let go. You're instead determined to take back what was rightfully yours. By any means possible. Making the biggest mistake of your life- you kill not just your neighbors but your own home out of impulse. You are to blame for the choice you took- guilt becomes rage, rage becomes bitterness, bitterness becomes calculative; why cry over spilled milk? The damage is done, and your code is desperately crying out to do what you were made to do: race. All you can do is start anew... don't dwell on the past if you want to have the spotlight again, processing your mistake doesn't matter anyway; and so, once a new racing game is in town- you'd be frothing at the mouth to hop in after decades of isolation, wouldn't you? You'd do anything, if you were that desperate and awfully selfish.

This leads us to the following: Turbo had a mental breakdown during his years of isolation, mainly because he was unable to race; this is why he laughs and giggles no matter the mood he's in as King Candy. It's a form of tic.

This might be a bit OOC? But whatever. Hilariously enough King Candy is a somewhat decent(take that with a grain of salt, I'll elaborate in a moment) fatherly figure: he treats the SR racers like they're his adopted kids. I say somewhat decent because of course he completely excludes Vanellope and because he picks favourites; Taffyta, Rancis and Candlehead are his golden children and because of that, he's sometimes willing to swallow his pride and let them cross the finish line before him.

Taffyta is VERY competitive and sometimes will get unreasonably aggressive to win and that's something KC admires in her because it reminds him so much of himself and the bond he used to have with the Twins, especially when competing. Another reason why Taffyta bullies Vanellope is because she knows King Candy dislikes her wish to compete and she feels like this is something that would please him regardless of his approval of it.

Again maybe kind of OOC-ish but I sincerely don't think Turbo outright hates Vanellope herself like. As a person; she has done nothing, but she does pose a threat to blowing his cover and he is not going to allow her. The one thing that bothers him a lot about her is her stubborness to race and always finding a way to weasel into the Random Roster Race. During the tunnel scene where he straight up becomes violent towards her, you can tell she's never seen him this angry to her before; this leads me to believe he never blew up on her before because, regardless of how much of a threat she posed for him; in his mind- he figured she likely would never really be in a situation where she would actually cross the finish line, and she's just a child, so why bother? Of course. That is until she sprints right past him on the race track and the rest is history. (And I have to clarify again I AM NOT justifying his actions; there is no 'justifying' any of it. This is an observation because of the reactions/expressions/etc. seen in the scene.)

Writing that previous hc reminded me of this and I just had to include it because I can SO see this happening 😭 it's hilarious and wholesome in a way.

I saw something about this on @king-crawler 's blog and I feel like I should bring this up bc it rubbed me the wrong way: I donno about you but to me, Turbo programming himself as King of Sugar Rush is not ego thing (not the main reason behind it at least!); it's to avoid suspicion in general within the game because ALL of the SR racers are children. It would be suspicious and really fuckin' weird to have a character programmed as an adult that isn't an NPC/side-character like Sour Bill or the donut cops to just be among them like nothing, regardless if he wipes their memories they (or other candy subjects) will question it. He's not stupid, in the game there's supposed to be a royal figure, no? So, it'd make perfect sense for that figure to be a supposedly 'wise' King that looks after all his subjects and makes sure rules aren't broken. So to me it's less of something done out of selfishness and more of just being able to go by unnoticed, he programmed himself as King to fit in with the whole 'monarchy' concept within SR. At the end of the movie when Vanellope says she doesn't want to be a princess, you get a little glimpse of how much the candy subjects depend and rely on a 'higher figure' to function.

As King Candy, he believes himself to be cute. (adding this side note just in case bc I shit you not this is genuinely something people have argued and mocked me over: don't come at me for this. I have my opinion, you have yours and I'm not going to change it for you; as a fan for a whole decade who has known in tge past other fans, there ARE people that find him cute as I do /gen /lh) He shamelessly indulges in that and he WILL use that as a manipulation tactic to get what he wants- sometimes playing with your emotions as well by tugging at your heart strings and overall painting himself to be a 'frail silly old man' in sn exaggerated manner so you'll give in to whatever he wants- and once you agree suddenly the 'frail' old monarch has an outburst of energy and joy, completely shedding off this fragile-pitiful facade.

Turbo has somehow rescued the Turbo Twins before his game was unplugged and I have evidence to prove this:

He has their codes tucked into his own (bad example I know but kind of like how an opossum mom keeps her joeys in her pouch); he keeps them in a dormant state this way by not allowing them to have separate code boxes of their own. The reasons behind this are simple: he doesn't want two characters that very obviously don't belong in the game to roam around freely, he has enough trouble with Vanellope as it is; and he knows that if he lets them awaken and respawn, they will criticize him for the path he chose to go down- and he doesn't want to deal with that because, for him, it would be pointless and it'd only bring frustration he doesn't need. He would rather keep them as ghosts of the past hidden in his pocket.

Speaking of Vanellope: Turbo is awfully envious of her driving skills, she's the first racer that has bested him on the track. Another selfish reason why he doesn't want her to race- goodness forbid a child beating you at what you're passionate about and arriving in second place.

When overly emotional- be it positive or negative feelings- King Candy would sometimes temporarily glitch back to his original form as Turbo because his code is old, filled to the brim with stuff, it's bound to have a few crack and tears here and there, like an old but still functioning car with a rusty engine; this issue has only accentuated after the glitching-exchange during the tunnel scene.

Speaking of which- because there were little to no censorships in 70's videogames, Turbo bleeds. It's pixelated blood because it cannot be processed through the programming of Sugar Rush since the game was not made to have any graphic themes in it. If one of the racers gets hurt- they quite literally just bleed coding.

Turbo often smokes.

Turbo sometimes gets sick of eating nothing but candy and will send out Sour Bill to get him something salty to eat from another game. He has his own little stack of junk food and other non-sweets within the castle.

He's not just the King of Candy, he's THE LORD OF THE DANCE! (watch at your own risk I warn you /hj)

CURSED JOKES ASIDE I unironically like to think he is a good dancer. Nobody beats him at tap-dancing and The Bus Stop. (He's from the 70's so it'd make sense he's familiar with a lot of funky/disco dance moves)

[teddymoon06]

Chapter 5

Title: Strength in Each Other

Chapter 5: The Edge of Survival

Y/N’s POV

I never thought I’d find myself living through something like this—monsters, death, and constant fear. Every moment felt like a fight to survive, a fight to keep the people we cared about alive.

But through it all, there was Hyun-su. No matter how dark things became, I found strength in him. His quiet determination, the way he always put others before himself, it made me feel safe even when everything around us was falling apart.

After the close call with the monsters, we sat in the barricaded room, resting. The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it felt peaceful, like we had an unspoken understanding. We didn’t need words to know what the other was thinking.

I leaned my head against Hyun-su’s shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest. “What do you think is happening outside?” I asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Hyun-su’s hand twitched slightly, his fingers brushing mine as if to comfort me. “It’s getting worse,” he said, his voice low. “More monsters. Fewer places to hide.”

His words sent a chill down my spine, but I already knew he was right. The screams and crashes we’d been hearing for the last hour confirmed it. Green Home was falling apart, and there wasn’t much time left before everything came crashing down.

I closed my eyes, trying to push away the fear that gnawed at me. “I’m scared, Hyun-su.”

“I know,” he whispered. “But we’re going to get through this. I’ll protect you.”

There it was again—his promise to keep me safe. And somehow, every time he said it, I believed him. Even when everything else seemed hopeless, I believed in Hyun-su.

Cha Hyun-su’s POV

It wasn’t just her who was scared. I was terrified too. I didn’t let it show, but the weight of everything—every life lost, every monster we faced—was heavy. But when I looked at Y/N, I felt this deep need to protect her, to keep her away from the horrors outside.

I couldn’t explain it. I barely knew her before all of this happened, but now, she was the one thing keeping me grounded. In a world filled with monsters, she was the only thing that felt real.

But I couldn’t afford to lose focus. There was no time for weakness, not when the building was crawling with creatures that could kill us in seconds. I had to stay sharp, for her.

“We should check on the others,” I said, standing up and holding out my hand to her.

Y/N looked up at me, her eyes full of trust, and placed her hand in mine. That small gesture—it gave me the strength I needed to keep going.

We moved carefully through the building, avoiding the sections we knew were infested with monsters. Every creak, every shadow made my heart race, but I kept my focus on her, making sure she stayed close. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. Not on my watch.

Y/N’s POV

As we crept through the dark hallways, I couldn’t help but steal glances at Hyun-su. The way he moved, always so alert, so ready to protect me… it was more than just survival. He cared. I could see it in the way his eyes flicked toward me, making sure I was okay.

When we finally made it to one of the safer areas where the other residents were holed up, the tension eased slightly. People were huddled together, their faces pale with fear, but there was a sense of solidarity. We were all in this together.

“Hyun-su!” A voice called out, and I turned to see Jae-heon, the pastor who had taken charge of keeping everyone together. His expression was grim. “It’s bad. More monsters have broken through the lower floors. We’re running out of time.”

Hyun-su’s jaw tightened, and I could see the weight of Jae-heon’s words settle over him. We weren’t just fighting for survival anymore—we were running out of places to hide.

“What can we do?” I asked, stepping forward. I wasn’t going to stand by and do nothing. I couldn’t.

Jae-heon’s eyes softened slightly as he looked at me. “We need to fortify the upper floors. It’s the only way we’ll have a chance of keeping them out.”

“We’ll help,” Hyun-su said firmly, glancing at me as if to ask if I was okay with it.

I nodded. If there was a way to help, to keep everyone safe, we had to do it.

Cha Hyun-su’s POV

We spent the next few hours helping to reinforce the barricades, moving whatever we could to block the entrances. Y/N worked right beside me, never complaining, never showing fear. It was like she had found this inner strength, and it made me admire her even more.

But as the hours passed, the sounds of the monsters grew louder. The building was becoming more dangerous by the minute.

“Hyun-su,” Y/N whispered, her voice trembling slightly. “What if… what if we can’t hold them off?”

I paused, looking at her. Her eyes were wide, filled with uncertainty. I hated seeing her like this, scared and unsure. I wanted to tell her everything would be fine, but I couldn’t lie.

“We’ll figure something out,” I said instead, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “As long as we stick together, we’ll be okay.”

She nodded, though I could see the fear lingering in her eyes. I hated feeling powerless, hated knowing that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t promise her safety.

Y/N’s POV

Hyun-su’s hand in mine brought me a sense of calm, even though the fear still lingered. His presence alone was enough to make me believe that somehow, we’d survive this.

But then, there was a sudden crash from the stairwell, followed by a blood-curdling screech. My heart stopped. The monsters had found us.

“They’re here!” someone shouted, panic spreading like wildfire through the room.

Hyun-su grabbed my arm, pulling me close as the others scrambled to reinforce the barricades. But I could see it in his eyes—the realization that the barricades wouldn’t hold for long.

“We need to get out of here,” he said urgently, his grip on my arm tightening. “Now.”

We didn’t have time to think. We ran, pushing through the panicked crowd as the sound of the monsters grew closer. My heart pounded in my chest, but I trusted Hyun-su to lead the way.

We made it to another stairwell, this one still intact, and rushed up to one of the higher floors. The air was heavy with fear and tension, but we couldn’t stop. We couldn’t look back.

When we finally reached a small, empty room on the top floor, Hyun-su slammed the door shut, breathing heavily as he leaned against it. I collapsed onto the floor, my legs shaking from the adrenaline.

For a moment, we just sat there, the weight of what had just happened settling over us.

“Hyun-su,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “What do we do now?”

He didn’t answer right away, but when he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, determined. “We survive. No matter what.”

Cha Hyun-su’s POV

As I looked at Y/N, exhausted but still determined, I realized something. She wasn’t just someone I needed to protect—she was my reason for fighting. My reason for surviving.

In this hellish world, she was the only thing that kept me going. And I wasn’t going to lose her. Not to the monsters. Not to anything.

“We’ll get through this,” I said softly, my voice steady. “As long as we’re together.”

Y/N looked at me, her eyes filled with trust and something else… something deeper. And in that moment, I knew I’d do anything to keep her safe. No matter what it took.

End of Chapter 5

Next | Previous

[georg-prime]

Some good anime recs

With magic and/or queer characters, that are fun, thoughtful, emotionally satisfying, beautiful.

Natsume's Book of Friends

One of the best manga/anime out there. Has some serious angst but also light comedy, issues about the fleeting life of fragile human beings from long-lived/immortal beings' POV, found families, sweet friendship, and a bit of unexpected horror. If you love Ghibli stuff especially Spirited Away, this should be for you. No queer characters in this, not really (except one minor female character), but the vibes of some characters can be debatedly genderqueer friendly for some (especially the youkai) and mlm lining for others, and the fandom delivers as usual. The 7th season is currently airing, and it's never disappointing, please come gush to/with me about how good it is!

Bodacious Space Pirates

Fun hard sci-fi. Mostly young women being cool, smart, funny, and a bit sapphic. Corsair girls in their awesome spaceship, doing light crimes, racing, and saving the galaxy. Super underrated, was slept on when it aired back then and that's just a damn shame.

Flying Witch

The nice daily life of a good apprentice witch, her witches friend and her magical and non-magical relatives, and the many strange and fun creatures she meets. Way too short, manga is still running and could easily be adapted to at least two other seasons (I recommend reading it too), worldbuilding is super creative and it's fascinating how the supernatural is usually just part of nature and the characters dealing with in simple tranquil ways. Side note: I wish some of these witches were as gay they seem.

Witchcraft Works

Underrated too, fun, weirdly feminist imo, creative with great animation, too short and deserve at least a second season to finish to story as the manga is complete. Childhood friends to lovers, boy's one of the sweetest male characters I know and his love for penguins deserves more appreciation, tall witch girl is badass as hell and also somehow a himbo. Catchy funny ending song is iconic.

Yuri!! On Ice

Do I really need to say something, pretty sure it should be popular enough, but maybe teens out here weren't old enough to have been on the internet/Tumblr etc when it was released? It's been some years after all. It's a good sport anime, with one hell of a hilarious twist around episode 7, which completely changed my opinion on the two main characters and their relationship, and makes this such a re-watchable season. Still waiting for a following, though and it's getting worrisome (hopeless?) since the prequel move got cancelled this year... But worth it anyway.

Tales of Zestiria

Famous game franchise with many unrelated games and their animated adaptation, I have a particular love for this instalment for how surprisingly queer friendly the ending was (wlw 🤝mlm solidarity). Good animation and lovable characters, cool fights, it makes you want to play the game(s), and that wouldn't be a bad thing as it is a good gateway to JRPGs in general imho. Quite active fandom still to this day and for shippers that's really nice.

Frieren

There's a lot of things to be said about this amazing manga/anime, it's funny, touching, melancholy, romantic, has some awesome animation and cool fights and is satisfying to dungeon RPG fans... It's really one of the best anime ever and I really recommend getting on the bandwagon now to follow it while release because imo it's one of those stories that benefits the best in weekly release (anime and manga) to let the feelings simmer and the fandom talks flourish (like without spoiling much, currently in the manga, a certain character is back and seriously tense situations are happening and some painful dilemma should be coming, better to live it than hear about everything later I'd say, especially because of how culte the anime already is). Much like Natsume's Book of Friends the way it touch on the pain but worth of knowing and caring for someone even if your lifespans are wildly different, is at the heart of the story and the characters's development and it's so well written. You know the end of the journey will leave you with lasting effects.

[justalittlesolarpunk]

this is 2 questions, but they're both a little depressing, sorry

any tips for just keeping up hope? things just seem so awful as of late. ik bad things happen all the time, but it just seems like things are genocide on top of environmental collapse on top of genocide. how can you stay hopeful?

and any tips for enacting change as a minor? i don't have any income to spend on supporting causes, i'm not allowed to go to protests or rallies or anything of the like, i can't vote. i feel so useless. i know there has to be something i can be doing! i just don't know what.

again, sorry if this is. not the sort of thing you'd like to answer, i'd understand completely. feel free to like. ignore this i suppose

your blog seems lovely, it's nice to see someone determined to fight for a better world. i hope you have a wonderful day.

Hi. Thanks for getting in touch, and please don’t apologise for your questions. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling, and I want to start by saying that what you’re feeling is a normal, healthy result of being a caring human being in a world full of cruelty and suffering. This is a really difficult time for the planet and its people and so I’d start by saying you’re allowed to feel dispirited and hopeless, especially as a minor looking around and seeing this is the world you’re growing up in.

This will probably be quite a long answer so I apologise for that, but you’ve caught me on my favourite topic - hope. To begin with, I have a little mantra that I repeat to myself which is that while despair as an emotional response is valid and to be expected, despair as an ideological orientation is not acceptable. What this means is that I allow myself and others slack and compassion at times when the feeling that everything is just too fucked to fix takes over. But I don’t permit myself to stop that from making me act. I take inspiration from people who have survived and are surviving incredible adversity - from the indigenous people who chose to keep living, to keep preserving their language and religion and culture, to keep fighting for their land and bringing children into the world even after everything they recognised about it was gone. We aren’t the first culture to face an apocalypse. Similarly I think of the low-lying islanders and other people in the Global South or the Arctic Circle seeing their means of subsistence or their homes being destroyed by climate change. I know this doesn’t sound at all hopeful on the surface, but I remind myself that these people don’t have the luxury of nihilism or despair. They have to keep trying, again and again, rebuilding the dams and re-roofing their houses and planting again the crops that they lost to extreme weather. If they give up, they die. They don’t need my tears and they don’t want my pity. And so reminding myself of the solidarity I owe them sort of resets my brain into getting-stuck-in-mode.

One of the most important things I have done and would recommend others to do to keep the despondency at bay is to act, to get up each morning and make the choice to do good, even if it’s just being kind and friendly to the people I see that day, or signing an online petition, or planting something in the ground. Sure, these actions won’t change the world on their own, but they contribute. And more importantly, they change you.

The second biggest thing is to control your media diet. That means getting serious about reining in your doomscrolling. The news and social media are full of appalling images right now and I’m not saying you should look away, or pretend it isn’t happening, but you have to remember that you becoming emotionally numbed out and vicariously traumatised doesn’t help the victims of war or environmental disaster. So balance out the negative news by actively seeking out things that are going well in the world. Remember that every day countless people get up determined to make things better. Visit Positive News, The Good News Network, The BBC’s Uplifting Stories Page, and similar sites. Follow Sam Bentley and Zahra Biabani. Read Rutger Bregman and Hans Rosling and Jon Alexander. Remind yourself that the good things happening in the world aren’t cancelled out by the bad ones any more than they cancel out the bad. Look for signs of care in the world around you: see how the old friends at the train station hug tightly when they’re reunited, or how the schoolboy helps his friend with his jacket, or the crowd parts to let the old woman through. These things seem small but they are the groundwork for everything we can achieve together.

I have hope because even in the midst of appalling scenes in the Middle East, aid workers are going in with food and medicine, risking their own lives, journalists are drawing attention to the situation, Israelis (even some with families held hostage) are calling for an end to the bombing, groups of Palestinian and Israeli communities have been working together for decades and will be the first to pick up the pieces when the dust settles, and because thousands are marching for justice and peace all over the world. Sometimes the moments that reveal the worst of humanity show us its best too. ‘Look for the helpers’ is a cliche but it’s genuinely useful.

Hope is also something you work at, a skill to be cultivated like any other, and I have found the writings of Rebecca Solnit hugely helpful in cultivating my own practice of hope. In terms of the environment, solarpunk shares origins with hopepunk, a genre that is all about triumphing (or even just trying your damn hardest) in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. You don’t have to become a perfect optimist overnight, you don’t even have to be an optimist at all, you can just hope out of spite. Because the last thing that the corrupt politicians and the war criminals and the fossil fuel billionaires and the media commentators want you to think is that things don’t have to be this way and can get better.

Watch the Earthshot Prize Awards Ceremony even though it’s weird and corporate. Get newsletters from MSF or the UN agencies doing good work on the ground. Watch the birds out of your window. Revisit those good news websites regularly to check out the latest stories. Listen to podcasts that imagine a better future (I am working on a resources masterpost so check back in for that). Bake a cake for someone you know who is having a hard time - maybe that someone is you. That’s ok too. We cannot change the world alone but we can hold and soothe some of the pain in it. And take care of yourself - remember that, as Audre Lorde said, self-care is an act of political warfare. Make joy your resistance whenever you can.

This kind of ties in to your second question - how to make change as a minor. I know you don’t have a lot of power but you can still make a difference. See if you can make an environment society or a group of socially conscious students at your school. Talk to your friends about climate change and social justice issues (studies say this is the single action you can take as an individual that has the greatest likelihood of contributing to systemic change - ahead even of giving up flights or going vegan). Talk to your parents if they’re receptive. Talk to siblings and cousins and the guy behind the supermarket counter. Surround yourself with people who want to make things better, if you can. You’d be surprised how much change you can make even just by asking people or institutions to do better - can your school improve its sustainability, for instance? Write to elected officials even though you can’t vote (they don’t need to know that! You don’t need to tell them your age!) and sign petitions if you can’t go to protests. Sneak out to a protest if you feel like rebelling (though make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and follow safety guidelines available online).

Give yourself some grace to mess up and fall short and fail. It’s beyond unfair you have to be worrying about any of these things, but you are, and that’s because you have a big heart. Take some time to cry in your bed if you need it - I know I have over these past few weeks. Then when you’re ready, get up, wipe your eyes, roll up your sleeves and get to work.

[therafahtriplet]

Stolen Childhoods, Unbroken Spirits

We are Dima, Lina, and Layan, eleven-year-old triplets living in the Mawasi of Khan Yunis. Our lives are a poignant tale of hardship and resilience, a story of a Palestinian family facing unimaginable adversity.

These pictures after the house adjacent to ours was bombed by an F-35 Iaircraft, resulting in the destruction of the house and the loss of the lives of my uncle and his family.

We've been forced to move three times – from Gaza to Rafah, and then to this faraway place in Khan Yunis. It's been so much more than just moving; it's been a painful journey filled with challenges that weigh heavily on our young shoulders.

During these hard times, we tragically lost our beloved uncle, a hero who gave his life saving others amidst the rubble of war. His loss has left a huge emptiness in our hearts. We also lost our aunt, our mother's twin sister, adding even more sorrow. This loss extends to our uncle's whole family, making our grief even deeper.

And to make things even harder, our grandfather is bedridden and can't get the medical care he needs because of the blockade and the war. We lost our home, and our parents are without jobs, making everything feel hopeless.

We are the result of so much effort and hardship, born after many difficult IVF treatments. We are our parents' only hope, symbols of their resilience and determination in the face of despair.

Losing so many people we love, losing our home and our parents' jobs, has left deep emotional wounds. Right now, we desperately need basic things – food, clothing, shelter. Our needs are simple, but they are absolutely essential for us to survive.

Our story isn't just about pain and sadness. It's also a testament to our faith and strength. It's a story that needs all of your help. We need you to stand beside our family, to help us overcome our hardships, and to build a brighter future for us. Any help, no matter how small, would make a huge difference in our lives. Please share our story to inspire compassion and solidarity, so we can all work together to create a more just world where children are free from the pain of war and conflict.

How You Can Help

*Donate.

*Share and Spread Awareness: Share our story to help the world see what we face.

*Pray: Keep us in your prayers; we need your compassion and blessings.

We don’t ask for much—only the chance to live with dignity and hope.

https://gofund.me/61e39f74

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is

( #336 )✅️

@90-ghost @gazavetters

@bluebellsinthedells @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @awesomepeoplehangingouttogether @anneemay @taylorswift @sayruq @squiggleville @gaza @tumblrbot @stiphicusthorificus

@girlinafairytale

[edge-oftheworld]

are we gonna talk about her? I feel it in moments a semblance of free/between all the gasping I finally breathe/so I hold on so tightly in moments I see/someone with striking resemblance to me/a darkness that holds me and loves when I bleed/it locks all the doors and then hides all the keys/wish someone had told me what I couldn’t see/a glimmer of hope that was staring at me? are we gonna talk about that lyrical perfection and how it just fits with the repetitive melody of the verses and whether ‘someone with striking resemblance to me’ refers to the depression that convinces you it’s yourself or this new you living in the time that you breathe a bit easier and follow that hope like a lifeline it makes sense? and how it fills in perfectly the experience behind missing the sunrise in Sydney and regretting your youth and being stuck in your ways and drenched in your pain?

are we gonna talk about the simple yet profound imagery of feeling trapped and held by darkness, as if depression is a creature that celebrates at your bleeding and is going around locking doors and hiding keys like the frustration alone when you lock yourself out is bad enough but to have this creature here so intimately actively enjoying it while you’re bleeding and all you can do is hold on to the rare moments it’s not suffocating you and you can just breathe for a little bit, this thing we need to do to stay alive, that feels so rare, and yet you’re still saying ‘I wish someone told me there was hope staring right at me’ not intervene? get this thing off of you and out of your life? a glimmer of hope isn’t much but it’s everything isn’t it? I say sometimes how the thing that unites us across socioeconomic divides maybe the most is things like depression. and yes it’s an illness this isn’t meant to be normal I’m not saying that! but we relate to easy for you to say don’t we? we relate to feeling hopeless and trapped and frustrated and you don’t need to be a certain kind of person to feel that, it’s the nature of the curse, but also the blessing that we need no other qualifications to sit together in that. we don’t even need to all miss Sydney or anywhere.

and it’s such a reflective monologue of a song, such an assertion of truth on the other side of lies, lies about being fine, the kind of thing we tell every day because we’re expected to to get through this world, we’re so often not only suffering but expected to have that solidarity in it taken away so that every person thinks it’s only them. we’re meant to lie as we look you in the eyes as if that piece of peace of mind is something we not only aren’t scared of but have found and don’t you see it? the harm that lying does when there’s no one to tell you about the glimmer of hope staring at you when you just lie to them about why you’re overdramatic and drenched in your pain and let them just think you’re headstrong and stubborn and stuck in your ways because that’s all there is to it, you’re just kind of a dick, not that you’re struggling to breathe every day and get through this excruciatingly painful reality? isn’t that the tragedy of this song? it’s easy for you to say because you have no clue what I’m going through. it’s easy for you

[bookwyrm35]

June 21:Character Arcs

At first I wanted this day to be about Quill because honestly he has one of the best character arcs in the story and I could talk about my son for hours- but I've changed my mind. Today I would like to confront Holly's character and how I my perseption of her changed as she did.

Holly started out as one of my least favorite characters. She came out of no where, swept both Lockwood and George off thier feet instantly, and in so many ways invaded the safe space that Portland Row was for Lucy. She felt strict and demanding and stuck out like a needling throne in the midst of the homely chaos of Lockwood and Co.

Another part of the reason I disliked Holly so much at this stage was that...she reminded me a lot of the parts I don't like about myself. She over-organized, picked other people apart, showed them their worst parts in contrast to her best, and had an overall aura of "I'm better than you".

My whole life I have wished to be a Lucy. To be brave and talented and confident but never vain or haughty. I've always wanted to build a place where I am the master of my fate, a place where I am surrounded by friends, a place that is entirely our own.

I've always feared that I'm more like Holly. Perceived as "perfect" and flattered to my face, but hated behind closed doors. My mind plays tricks on me and constantly tells me that I'm invading, I'm putting too much of myself into a place even if I just tidied up. Seeing a character like that so blatantly disliked in these books brought those ugly thoughts to the surface and, I'm ashamed to say it, but instead of taking comfort or solidarity in Holly I turned my hatred of myself to hatred of her.

And then... the Poltergeist of Aickmere's happened. I had to take a moment in the middle of thier argument because Lucy didn't. I know she couldn't, not really, but I had to take a step back in that moment and realize a few things. This is when I realized how enormously brave Holly Munro is. This is when I realized she and Lucy are two sides to the same coin. Holly had every reason under the stars to leave the ghost hunting industry after what happened to her and her team. But she didn't, not fully at least. She stayed at Rotwells and took a desk job even when she hated who she worked under. She suffered for who knows how long because even if she couldn't bring herself to serve in the field, she believed she was still doing the world some good. Still protecting people anyway she could.

Unlike Lucy, she did have the luxury of possessing other skills that would have gotten her as far from agencies as she ever wanted. But she chose to stay. More than that, by joining Lockwood and Co. she decided to step back into a field that killed all of her friends. She had every reason to leave, but Holly Munro chose to stay and fight.

I bet she didn't expect more resistance from teammates than ghosts.

I can't imagine how horrible she must have felt when Lucy announced her resignation. Everyone, and I am certain that includes Holly, thought Lucy was leaving because of her. I remeber feeling as if the floor had been ripped out from under me as I read that scene, but imagine what it must have been like for Holly. Maybe she'd thought they'd made up, maybe she was excited to put their past pettiness and differences aside and move forward as a united agency...but no. Lucy left, and now it was up to Holly to keep the boys together.

I wonder if they blamed her. I know she must have blamed herself, even if only a little. And yet, once again, she stayed. I can just see it, her looking at Lockwood and George as they realize Lucy is gone and not coming back. The hopelessness that must have surrounded them. I bet she took on a lot more responsibilities after that. I think she took it upon herself to keep the case book full, make sure they ate, and just did everything she could to help keep them together when they were falling apart. It's no wonder that her first words to Lucy are how much she missed her.

And then comes my favorite part. We get to see in Aldbury Castle Holly's reaction to Lockwood and Lucy 'dieing'. It's hard to explain why but it brings literal tears to my eyes to think of a wild, mad eyed, crazed hair Holly going absolutely savage on the research workers after thinking her friends had died. Like Lucy, seeing the madwoman behind the primp and proper lady made me love and admire her so much more.

I think this is when it struck me how human Holly is. How fiercely loyal she is, and how much she truly cares. It was never a bad thing to be like Holly, and this is when I started to see that.

It was a little bit after things had settled down (and promptly got stirred up again) that my next favorite part comes. It's when Penelope comes to Portland Row, using all tactics at her disposal to pressure Lockwood and Co out of business. Lucy's pretty silent through the whole thing, but the second that snake dares paint Holly as a coward- if their rapiers had been within grabbing distance you know someone would have walked out there with blood on their hands.

Holly began in my eyes like somthing of an infection, quick to run its course and needing to be taken out. But I now I see her for the true beauty and nessecity that she is. Lockwood and Co would not have survived without her. She is the constant, she is their stability, and when they need it, she is their brave, brilliant, and a bit of a madwoman of an agent.

[androxys]

Related to nothing else going on in America's political scene right now, I'm thinking about the series of civic workshops I've been devising and running for undergraduates.

The age demographic generally labelled "college-aged" (let's say 17-23) cares so much. It really warms my heart to see the amount of care and interest there is in engaging with politics and trying to make the world a better place for themselves and those who will come after. The problem that I feel like I see over and over is that they overemphasize the office of the president, and then maybe give a little attention to congress. The existence of the supreme court frustrates them, because to the average attendee the SC is this nebulous thing that people don't vote for.

And my job is trying to convince them that they do have an ability to engage, because it's all connected. Yes, voting for the president is important because the right to vote itself is important. It's important to consider who the president might nominate onto the supreme court. Voting for representatives and senators in congress is important because that congress will confirm justices, and you want to make sure that congress will actually confirm nominees.

This is all high level, but most of my job is actually talking about local government. They're the ones who make the laws that most directly affect you. We're currently in a political era of states having more and more individual power. This means being conscious and strategic about who you vote for locally is really important!

Sometimes people talk (with good intentions!) about how voting is only a first step. But then perhaps they don't get into details about what that next step is, and my average college student feels like they're at a loss. So much emphasis is placed on the vote, so then what comes next? I try to teach students that the day after you cast your votes, you try attend your county commissioners meeting. Sit in on your town council. Learn these people's names and faces--you might be surprised how often you see them at Walmart.

I provide students with a template on how to draft a letter to an elected representative, and walk through which level of government is appropriate for fielding different petitions or requests. We talk about when solidarity building is important, and how a letter campaign can be effective.

It's easy to throw hands up and say that everything is bad and hopeless and we should all just give up. I personally feel that attitude ignores a lot of realities that most people live with every day. There is a hunger out there to do more, but I also think there is a need to believe we can do more.

[go-learn-esperanto]

Hey, so this is a depressing ass question that you don't need to answer, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Simply put: do you think KOSA is gonna pass? Because thinking about KOSA just makes me feel sorta depressed. This is such a stupid thing to compare it to, and I don't want to make this more hopelessly depressing than it already is, but it's the only thing I can think of, But Roe v Wade, I saw SO many people begging it not to be overturned, and yet here we are, still overturned. so it just feels like it's just "not worth it" to be on the Internet anymore because of "why bother with enjoying the Internet, it's gonna pass and everything's gonna self destruct anyways" (which i KNOW is such a stupid mindset, but... That doesn't change that fact at ALL)

Which sucks a lot because almost every single one of my friends are here. Simply put, Is it worth remaining hopeful? Or do you think we're done for, that this is the beginning of the end?

Again, no pressure to respond, I just needed to get this off my chest. And even if you do respond, you're my best shot at getting a genuine answer that isn't hopelessly optimistic/pessimistic if that makes sense

Unfortunately I have zero idea if it'll pass or not, and I'm not even American so I don't even know how those laws manage to pass.

if it does I can't claim it'll be daisies and roses but I don't believe it'll be the end of the internet, for various reasons:

What you can see right now with Roe V Wade is that there's a lot of solidarity. There's online websites done by professionals just to manage to find a way to help somebody who needs an abortion. What I mean with this comment is that there's always a community of people who will try to make things a little better

There's always gonna be ways to bypass that law. The internet is very difficult to control. China has a death grip on it but plenty of people can get through its firewall.

The internet isn't the USA. It's the World Wide Web remember? Yes, US companies are gonna be affected, it will suck, but there's gonna be apps from other countries out there. If the US forces them to do something on the US market you can always try a 🌟VPN🌟

Honestly a VPN will be your biggest saviour if the law goes through

So my conclusion to this is if the law does pass it won't be the end of the internet, redditors or 4chaners have the brain power to figure a way to evade the bullshit, VPNs is your friend and if it does pass talk with your friends, try to make a plan if things really have to be changed.

And lastly don't stress over this. It's not on your hands to decide. Being hopeless is scary but know that it isn't on you if it does happen. Sign the petitions if you think they'll help, or if you wanna try do something at all, and after that free yourself because there's little more you can do. If it happens then you can see what you can do, but being in anticipation of something you aren't even sure will happen only causes you unnecessary stress (I know this is difficult and you've heard it before but it really is the truth). Focus on having fun times with your friends, even if it all ready went to shit it would better if you had more good memories than if you didn't, right?

Have a lovely day and please accept this photo of of some kitties I took recently 😊

[lilycelebi-side-blog]

We don't usually get this personal on Tumblr dot com. This'll be once in a blue moon:

We are technically disabled (less disabled than the people around us at home, but nonetheless, technically disabled, at one point diagnosed and receiving resources and accommodations from our school).

We are neurodivergent and are a DID system.

We caretake for a physically disabled person who could not go without us at the moment, along with her husband on and off.

We are a trans guy, approved for one surgery, seeking one other in the future.

We are the "bureaucrats" they want to target and replace with their own people, threatening our job, which is our only way out of a still-abusive home (albeit less so than in the past -- more just... lingering emotional pain and daily yelling/jabs in the background, nothing serious). This job is our dream job in social climate, flexibility, remote/work-at-home status, and literally everything else. It is also our first real career. It means so much to us....

We are a bunch of things they do not want to exist -- and we are lucky there aren't more. We could be part of many other groups of people that hold these same fears, or much, much worse ones. They have us and many, many others on their agenda for elimination.

Let me tell you, if they take our rights, job, and resources away, we will fight like hell. It's the only choice left. We especially need to exercise the privileges we've been extended.

What that fight will entail, we do not know yet. What we do know is that we exist now, and we must continue to exist. Existing in itself is fighting back. Existing in itself is rebellion against everything they want to target. It is the first step in any level of resistance.

We did everything right, everything that was laid in front of us that we were told from birth to do -- we didn't fail or make a single mistake, no matter how much pain and adversity it took. We were perfectly obedient and met gargantuan, superhuman demands and expectations. This life has been an extremely painful but worthwhile journey of growth that we are grateful to have been given the opportunity to have lived, despite -- and, controversially, including -- all abuses endured.

They do NOT get to target us, persecute us, or steal the resources we worked extremely hard for -- we WILL live. We MUST live.

Please, people, live! We need to band together and have each other's backs. We need to unite, especially in spirit. It is the first step to whatever comes down the line.

We understand your feelings of apprehension, tension, hopelessness, helplessness, loneliness, disappointment, anger, frustration, mortification, and many more. Channel these high levels of energy toward living -- living stubbornly, vehemently, in the corner of their eye.

We need to defend the right to exist, the right to freely express ourselves (especially the outcasts, weirdos, and freaks!), the right to celebrate our differences and diversity, the right to have community solidarity, and the right to claim resources we have rightfully earned, and we can first do that by continuing to exist.

Thank you, Salem, for the words of encouragement.

We will, for once, be courageous and make a real post/reblog. We very, very much fear posting opinions too openly on the internet, but now is the time. It is the least we can do. This is what pride is about.

I said this months ago but I'll say it again: if you're transgender you HAVE TO LIVE

[anarcho-sexual]

I must get some things off my mind. No need to read if you don’t wish to. Truly not important stuff, just talking to myself. If someone does read this, be aware it’s pretty negative & bitter & I briefly talk about suicide.

So, I was talking to my bf & we started talking about queer conservative people. I’ll call ‘em QueerCons going forward. He said that maybe they’d chill out if the oppressors were gotten rid of (this convo was about a deadly virus only infecting straight republicans, not genocide lol).

I strongly disagree. Well, I think yeah there’s a possibility they chill out. But the thing is that they have already chosen to side with fascists. The GOP’s policies & their rhetoric (& that of their pundit puppets) is causing real harm to real people. They are literally getting people killed & will continue to do so until someone does something about it.

QueerCons may have chosen to be “one of the good ones” because they’re scared. What if they don’t actually hold those beliefs but they think siding with them is their best chance at being safe? I don’t give a flying fuck. Maybe that’s wrong. If it is, I’m about to say even more wrong things.

I don’t care how scared someone is, it is unacceptable to vote for & stand with American Conservatives/Republicans. There are basically zero circumstances in which it’s okay.

And let’s say we “defeat” these fascist fucks. Perhaps by something as simple & clean as voting! Then the QueerCons come back & what? We’re all buddies again? They’re no longer “not one of those gays”?

Nahhhh. Hell nah. No one gets to do that. When you shack up with fascists as far as I’m concerned you’re a fascist too. There are no valid excuses. I do not care about traitorous queer people one single bit.

Hypothetically, if I had to execute a group of fascists & some of them were these QueerCons? I wouldn’t hesitate for a second on the queer ones. Ain’t nobody my friend or my family just because they’re queer.

When we face potential existential fascistic threats we stand together in solidarity. Period. I don’t care how afraid someone may be. That’s not a valid excuse. There are no valid excuses.

If you’re queer & you align yourself with U.S. Republicans & parrot bullshit con talking points & say stuff like “I’m not gay. I’m homosexual. The gay movement has gone too far.” Or “I’m not one of those gays” you are without a shadow of a doubt contributing to the pain & death that U.S. Conservatives are causing in this country. You are complicit.

If I ever meet another queer person & find out they voted Republican within a certain time period, they’re getting their shit rocked. I’m small & not super duper strong but I’m doing it. I have zero tolerance for that kind of thing. Zero tolerance for fascists. And unlike the “zero tolerance for bullying” policies the schools I went to had, I mean zero tolerance. You’re dead to me. I don’t give a flying fuck what happens to you. You’ll get everything that’s coming to you from the GOP, you’ll deserve it, & I’ll laugh. You don’t get to betray millions of queer people & slither your snake ass back into the community when it’s all done. No fuckin way. My apologies to snakes, it is the only thing I could think of. I love snakes & value their lives more than cowardly turncoats.

Yeah, this is bitter & mean & possibly not right of me. I’m bitter & angry about it. About the world, man. Prior to this conversation, earlier in the night before my bf had fallen asleep on the phone & I got to hear his cute snoring, we were talking about the country & the world & late stage capitalism.

I just feel so angry, sad, both hopeless & helpless, & finally, powerless. I feel like we can’t do much of anything about all of it. I feel like I can’t protect people or help them properly/enough. I’m worried that the type of people we have in power right now are the type of people which only understand one language: violence. The government has authority because of one thing & one thing only. They have a military. We have to listen to and obey anything the government says, even when it’s extremely obvious it’s a fucking lie. Take the scheduling of cannabis in the U.S. for example. I am aware that in January of this year it was recommended that cannabis be reclassified to Schedule III from Schedule I. This is a recommendation & as far as I can tell it remains under Schedule I. However, cannabis does not meet the criteria for Schedule I at all in any way. Cannabis does not have a high potential for abuse & it does have medical uses. But the government has straight up lied to the public for about a century or longer about it. We all know it’s a lie. We all know that cannabis does not belong in the same category as heroin. We all know this but we just have to deal with it because the big gang with the big guns said so. Side note: LSD, peyote, & ecstasy do not belong in Schedule I in my opinion either. But I haven’t considered criteria that’s just my opinion. Cannabis genuinely does not meet Schedule I criteria.

Then there are things like drug enforcement & addressing homelessness & making sure the working class is well taken care of so they have a reason to continue working. It’s been shown in other countries that certain ways of addressing drug problems & addiction work very well. We know this. The feds know this. But it won’t happen because that would reduce their supply of slave labor. We have studies that have shown the best ways we know of to address homelessness. We know these things. But it won’t happen because fuck you & fuck me & fuck Shannon down on the corner. Oh yeah & arrest Shannon because it’s illegal to be homeless on the street in too many states even though in those same states the goddamn shelters are at capacity. It’s been shown that our police aren’t our friends, they aren’t here to protect us, they do not have to protect us, they do not want to protect us, they do not prevent crimes, & that they are fucking murdering people. But it ain’t gonna change because the government tells us we need more police so we can be safer. We all have to go along with the reality that the government imposes upon us.

We have to just put up with what Uncle Sam & his corpo friends tell us is reality because we have hardly any power if any at all. I have such low hope for the future. I don’t want to work until I’m 70 or older for shit pay & only have the ability to work, go home, sleep, work, go home, sleep, & so on for my whole life. You wanna know what the meaning & purpose of life is? It is to have fun while not hurting anyone else. That’s it. That’s the grand & beautiful meaning to life! But how can we even do that when things are the way they are & seem to be getting worse? I just feel like everything in this world is wrong & there’s hardly anything any of us can do. We all know it’s wrong! The people in power know it’s wrong! It makes me feel so hopeless. Powerless. No control over my life. So I start thinking, what’s the point if there’s not even time or money for fun between work? It feels like there has been, is, & will be so much pain & bullshit that none of the good shit will even make life worth it. I think…why not kill myself? Why should I live besides the fact people would be hurt & sad if I commit suicide? Why would I want to live in this world? Does anyone? Are we all just faking it when we converse about it because we don’t want to encourage our loved ones to jump ship? What’s the point, girl? Why should I spend the next several decades in this world?

Fuck lol. If by some wild, crazy chance someone was bored enough to read this to the end, I greatly appreciate your time. I love you, as well :)

[theeverlastingshade]

softscars- yeule

Pop music is in a curious place right now. There's more of it being made today than at any time in the history of the form, and while most of it ranges from serviceable to unlistenable, the diffusion of everything as a result of the internet continues to yield striking, previously unfathomable juxtapositions of styles within its framework. Enter the Singaporean artist yeule, who had a breakthrough with their 2022 sophomore LP, Glitch Princess, thanks to its singular combination of glitch, ambient, experimental pop, and emo. The comparisons to artists like Grimes, SOPHIE, and Alice Glass were inevitable and understandable, especially when coupled with yeule's disembodied vocal approach and cyborg aesthetic, but they fail to paint the full picture of yeule's artistry. A few weeks ago they returned with their 3rd LP, softscars, and it's another strong record that fuses emotionally urgent strains of pop music with the avant-garde and online detritus in a way that feels perfectly natural and of the moment while simultaneously sounding unlike anything else happening in music right now.

The sound of softscars is more melodic and noisier than yeule's past records, but it retains the otherworldly glow that's animated the project from the jump. On softscars, yeule ditches the glitch-pop stylings that largely defined their prior records in favor of an even more expansive sound that incorporates grunge, shoegaze, dream-pop,  pop-punk, and emo. The music is brighter and cleaner than their past work, but not necessarily as considerably more straightforward as that kind of sonic shift might imply. Opener "x w x" begins with glitchy electronics and a sample of fireworks going off before a barrage of distorted guitars and a bratty vocal delivery reminiscent of Courtney Love or Olivia Rodrigo that sets things into motion. The record on the whole is very much in conversation with the various strains of 90s revivalism of the moment, but it's filtered through a far more terminally online vantage. Singles "sulky baby" and "dazies" both epitomize and expand on this influence, with the former landing like a noisier update on a Y2K pop ballad, and the latter bringing sludgy shoegaze guitars into a creeping emo dirge. Late-album highlight "Cyber Meat" reimagines hyperpop through a pop-punk veneer, while "fish in the pool" is the throwback ambient breather and connective tissue between the blown-out march of "dazies" and the scorched daydream ballad "software update". The record strikes a versatile sonic approach, but it never feels disjointed or like yeule is out of their depth.

The writing on softscars continues the dour diaristic streak that they've been honing, but the hopelessness of past records isn't quite as pervasive this time around. References to self-harm, drugs, and eating disorders are still abundant, and they're still in service of honest introspection instead of exercises in shock, but yeule's perspective has broadened enough to allow some light in. The aforementioned single "sulky baby" unravels like a dumbfounded acknowledgement that they've made it as far as they have "Some days I can't believe that I'm still here/Some days I feel like I have no more tears to shed" and doubles as a reassurance to others that things won't always seem as dire as they do now. "software update" paints a harrowing image of life in the thralls of an eating disorder "Who made you lose that weight/Twenty-five, traumatized/Painting white on my eyes/Handcuffs and hospitals/Are some things I despise/Replace with you with a gram/Bruised by a violent hand" but cushions the impact with a show of solidarity "You're never alone/I'm inside your phone" while closer "Aphex Twin Flame" finds them couching visceral imagery in a disarming moment of affection "The seas I'd swim to make you see/If you need a bone I'd break my knee". While softscars is a difficult, potentially demoralizing listen, it's also demonstrative of yeule's increasingly singular talents. For all of the record's fixation on artificial forms of existence, it's a remarkably human experience.

Essentials: “dazies”, “ghosts”, “sulky baby”

[storytimewithnova]

Behind Closed Doors

this is a sequel to

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSE DOORS UNLESS IN IT IS BROADCAST LIVE FOR THE WORLD TO HEAR AND UNLESS YOU SCREAM LOUD ENOUGH YOUMAY FALL ON DEAF EARS

Shoyo's inner monologue: It’s like you’re screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it’s over and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good.

He has screaming an no one was listening to him he kept replaying the events that happened the scene the played of a fucking loop was them as their friend a fucking friend he had to correct them and said to the girl I'm their bf which she just looked at him utterly dumbfounded like he had grown a second head these were the events that played out and he completely forgotten his surroundings—

He had completelyforgotten that he was out with yamaguchi they went to their favourite cafe

yamaguchi was worried about him he figured that like himself he was having relationship problems he just didn't realise how bad Shoyo's problems were they made his look like nothing he and Iwaizumi split because of rumors and stayed separated till now but shoyo his was different Yamaguchi watched as Shoyo's eyes filled with tears, each word spoken with a deep bitterness. He leaned in closer to lend an understanding ear. "I never knew it was this bad, Shoyo. How did things escalate to this point?"

Shoyo let out a shaky breath, a mix of anger and sadness evident in his voice. "No one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors, Yamaguchi. They don't know how it feels when the person who means everything to you betrays your trust. It's as if you're screaming for help, but no one can hear you."

Yamaguchi nodded, urging him to continue, wanting to offer any support he could. Shoyo's pain echoed in his heart, their friendship putting him squarely in the middle of the storm.

"I caught my now ex-boyfriends, Kageyama and Tsukishima, together with a girl I didn't even know in our bed," Shoyo admitted, his voice laced with a mix of confusion and betrayal. "They always introduced me as their friend, but I was their boyfriend. It's not the first time they've done this, and I'm afraid it won't be the last. They promised to change after high school, but here we are."

Yamaguchi's eyes widened in shock as he listened to Shoyo's heart-wrenching revelation. He couldn't fathom how someone could hurt Shoyo like that, let alone the two people he trusted the most.

"That's...that's terrible, Shoyo," Yamaguchi whispered, his voice trembling with sympathy. "I can't believe they would do something so cruel to you. You deserve so much better."

Shoyo wiped away the tears streaming down his face, his voice shaky but determined. "I thought they were my soulmates, Yamaguchi. I poured my heart and soul into our relationship, believing that we could overcome anything. But now...I don't even know who they are anymore."

Yamaguchi's heart ached as he watched his friend's suffering. He reached out and gently placed a hand on Shoyo's, providing comfort and solidarity. "You deserve someone who will cherish you, Shoyo. Someone who will never betray your trust. And I know they're out there, waiting for you."

A flicker of hope shimmered in Shoyo's eyes, a small glimmer amidst the darkness. He mustered a weak smile, thankful for Yamaguchi's unwavering support. "Thank you, Yamaguchi. I don't know what I would do without you."

Yamaguchi squeezed Shoyo's hand, his voice filled with determination. "You don't have to do it alone, Shoyo. We'll get through this together. We'll find the strength to move forward and heal."

Shoyo nodded, feeling blessed to have a friend like Yamaguchi by his side. As they sat in the cafe, the weight of Shoyo's pain slowly started to feel lighter. With Yamaguchi's comforting presence and unwavering support, Shoyo began to realize that he didn't need toxic relationships in his life.

Together, they made a pact to focus on themselves and their own well-being. Shoyo vowed to find happiness within himself, to heal the wounds caused by the ones he once loved. And Yamaguchi promised to always be there, to lend an understanding ear and a shoulder to lean on.

As their laughter mingled with the aroma of their favorite cafe, a new chapter began for Shoyo. It wouldn't be easy, but with the strength of their friendship, he knew he could overcome anything.

Sometimes, the darkest moments in life pave the way for the brightest future. And as Shoyo and Yamaguchi embarked on their journey of self-discovery and healing, they were determined to find the happiness and love they truly deserved.

They had gone to brazil As the time passed , Shoyo found solace in his old senpai Oikawa Tooru. He started courting shoyo by this time yamaguchi and Iwaizumi had got back together or at the very least was trying to work things out as time went on oikawa qnd shoyo finally got married after courting and dating They had two beautiful children, Nikko and Katana, who brought light to their lives. Oikawa Nikko had Shoyo's personality, while Oikawa Katana mirrored Oikawa's spirit. Together, they formed a strong family unit.

When Kageyama and Tsukishima sought a second chance, Shoyo was torn. His heart ached at the thought of denying them, but the pain they caused was too much to bear. He couldn't risk exposing his children to their tumultuous presence.

Unbeknownst to Shoyo, Kageyama was not ready to back down. He couldn't stand the thought of Shoyo choosing a life without him, and he became consumed by an obsessive determination to win him back.

Meanwhile, Tsukishima grew uncomfortable with Kageyama's possessive behavior. He had loved Kageyama once, but as time passed, the toxic pattern in their relationship became undeniable. Tsukishima couldn't bear the weight of Kageyama's jealousy any longer, and he decided to end their relationship.

Shoyo's heart was heavy with the decision to cut ties with Kageyama and Tsukishima completely. The pain of betrayal still lingered, but he knew it was necessary for the well-being of his family.

In the midst of the chaos, Yamaguchi and Iwaizumi now apary of Oihina's relationship offered unwavering support. They became not just friends, not just pillars of strength but also their lofe partners with iwayama's kids Celeste and Venus

Kageyama's attempts to tear apart their family only drove Shoyo further away. Through the storms of heartache, Shoyo discovered inner strength and found solace in the people who truly cared. He learned that sometimes, the silence can bring more peace than any tumultuous relationship ever could. He forgave. Tsukishima seeing how much Kageyama's actions hurt him but Tsukishima just told him he was fine plus he was kind of cheating on tobio with Bokuto and Kuroo who he is now dating the thing with Tsukishima is he likes dating more that one person the the loving family vibe he gets that he never truly felt when he was younger at home or when he was with Kageyama he felt it with Shoyo to no end of course but Kageyama nothing Kageyama loved the idea of him and shoyo but never truly loved them he was obsessed

Time passed and Shoyo learned to appreciate the beauty in simplicity and finds joy in the everyday moments. His children, Nikko and Katana, grow up surrounded by love and security, and together they create a home filled with laughter and warmth.

Shoyo's love for volleyball never fades, and he becomes a coach, passing on his knowledge and passion to the next generation. Through this, he finds fulfillment and a sense of purpose, knowing that he is making a positive impact on the lives of young athletes.

In the end, Shoyo realizes that true happiness comes not from the past or the future, but from living in the present and cherishing the love and connections he has in his life. He finds solace in the arms of his beloved senpai and husband, Oikawa Tooru, who continues to be a source of strength and support.And so, Shoyo's journey concludes with a newfound sense of peace and fulfillment. Though there have been hardships and heartbreak along the way, he has emerged stronger and wiser, ready to embrace the love and happiness that await him in the future.

no one knows what happens behind closed doors unless it is broadcast live for the world to hear some people may have worse struggles for shoyo it was not realising sooner he was in a toxic relationship with someone that had an obsession with him and saw him as a stepping stone in his career Kageyama was forced to wake up to the reality of his actions he had lost both of his boyfriends shoyo and Tsukishima due to his toxic behaviour they now in the arms of people that cherish and love them shoyo with oikawa and Tsukishima with Bokuto and Kuroo

As time goes on, Kageyama reflects on his mistakes and realizes the true extent of the damage he caused. He goes through a period of self-reflection and growth, seeking therapy and counseling to address his unhealthy behaviors. With time and effort, Kageyama begins to understand the importance of consent, respect, and healthy relationships.

Kageyama reaches out to Shoyo and Tsukishima, not with the expectation of getting them back, but to sincerely apologize and express his remorse for his actions. He acknowledges the pain he caused them and takes full responsibility for his mistakes. He understands that forgiveness may not come easily or at all, but he hopes to at least offer closure and a chance for healing.

Both Shoyo and Tsukishima cautiously agree to meet with Kageyama, maintaining their boundaries and prioritizing their own emotional well-being. Through these conversations, they are able to gain some understanding of Kageyama's growth and the changes he has made in his life. However, they remain firm in their decision to move forward without him romantically.

Kageyama accepts their choices, humbled by the depths of his own mistakes. He vows to continue working on himself, seeking personal growth and striving to be a better person. Although he carries the pain of losing both Shoyo and Tsukishima, he focuses on making amends and learning from his past actions.

In the end, Shoyo, Tsukishima, and their new partners continue to build fulfilling lives together, supported by a strong network of friends and loved ones. They find happiness in the love and security they have created, and they are able to move forward, leaving the toxicity of their previous relationships behind.

The story serves as a reminder of the importance of self-growth, forgiveness, and choosing healthy relationships. It highlights the power of love and support from those who truly care and demonstrates the resilience and strength of the human spirit.