#there were a lot of asks a while ago
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OC again gomen ... (her name is Yuma)
#my characters#she was (shocking to no one) a side character in a plot from forever ago and while i fleshed out her bg a LOT#she never got her own actual story ? the plot she was in had a lot of characters so her and her best friend myo were like... cameos#in other character arcs rip to she having her own#basically she had light powers and had a kind of whispy clear happy look (top)#and then the big bad guy corrupted her and she got dark powers#so myo and her start to think she is sick and then big bad shows up and tells myo that if he wants to help yuma - hed help#so he manipulates the two into working for the bad guys who id like to point out! think they're the good guys#so yuma keeps having cloudy and foggy memories and nightmares and she doesnt understand whats going on with her#and she tells myo who hasnt clued in yet and he tells her shes fine and shes too nice to do what she feels guilty for#and then after its all kinda said and done and the big bad dies the corruption disappears bc he was the one causing it#and at that point myo knows the horrible things hes kind of helped yuma do and the actual things yuma has done#and he goes to rem who a lot of people avoid since rem has mind reading and memory manipulation powers#and he asks if rem can help yuma forget everything bad#and rem - who is the unfortunate right hand of the big bad who feels so much guilt for everything he has done -#asks him if its what yuma wants cause it isnt his place to change it without her consent as well#bc rem was actually the one that yuma interacted with most outside of myo#but as far as actual plots and arcs rem was more important ? common? idk ? as a focus#so despite yuma having a lot of established background and drama she never had her own ... thing#but as the dark corruption gets to her she loses the clear stream vibes and is like an oozing oil spill#and it kinda festers into her becoming like an eldritch monster type being from the grief and guilt her conscious has#while polluted by darkness sooooo#she just kinda becomes a monster in the background of the plot its fine she gets better#and that was storytime in the tags bye
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Who has gotten the most valentines asks so far?
Ok now that it's over I can fully reveal that the top three are as follows
3. Baji/ Shinichiro (a tie)
2. Mikey
And our no1, Kazutora! So happy for him!
(Also rip to Takuya who is literally the only character of the main cast who didn't get asked at all)
#i got this ask a while ago but didn't wanna answer since i didn't want you guys to know they were being counted in case it influenced things#we actually got over 100 confessions too which is crazy to think about!#Kazutora won with 9 mikey had 7 and Shinichiro and baji had 6 each a lot of characters had 5 but altogether it was pretty varied#i mean only one of the characters included at the wedding and on the character book cover wasn't included#so happy for Kazutora but damn i feel kinda bad for takuya#tokyo revengers
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I really don't buy the opinion that Louis hated becoming the "dom" + businessman in Paris. You can tell in that scene from 2x06 when he brings in the art piece to Armand's office he's entranced just talking about it and its potential. You all took Lestat's "All these roles you conform to and none of them your true nature" to mean he hates working/making money/providing for others in any capacity and just wants to be a submissive housewife (although we can see in Season 1 that the only thing keeping him happy in that role was Claudia- once she was gone or when Lestat became abusive towards her he hated it). Don't many housewives hate being housewives? Do businessmen always like the work? Louis likes being cared for and seen but he also likes having autonomy and projects to work on- money made by selling artwork fulfills that need. And Armand's supposed acceptance and submission in that 2x06 scene contrasts with Lestat's attitude towards Louis's work in New Orleans ("I have all the money we need" "This is Louis's hobby, not mine"), so that also plays into it. If Louis's making the money and taking charge in the bedroom, he can at least have the illusion of control.
Louis still doesn't know who he is at this point so saying he only likes being in certain roles (he's either a "violent pimp" or a passive wallflower who only likes to bottom, neither of which are true and the former being a really racist statement) contradicts his overall arc in Season 2. And the sad part is he still hasn't found it by the end of the season because he's found himself stuck with another abusive partner with his last tethers to humanity cut off. But saying he was forced into trying these new things out in Paris or has always despised playing the "Maitre" role throughout the duration of their relationship (for reasons other than when Armand tries to take back control while he's performing it, which is why it doesn't work in the first place), is a stretch in my opinion. The only conclusive thing we can make about Louis's preferences is that he hates when things grow stagnant. He can't play one role for too long, otherwise it gets boring.
#louis de pointe du lac#loumand#iwtv meta#iwtv#interview with the vampire#currently rewatching season 2 before the finale#people have already said this before in some capacity so this is probably a needless post#thinking about that one person a while ago who said 'i love louis but the reason i don't think about him that much#is because the characters around him are so much MORE you know?' and i'm just over here being like wow#everyone really overlooks louis's depth and reduce him to “one thing” while the writers actually wrote him in a very complex way#because do people irl life like being stuck being one thing? performing one role?#i don't remember jacob anderson's exact quote about louis but he said something about louis always trying to find and accept himself yet#will still never be happy in whatever role he's in and i found that really interesting and very human#a lot of dubai loumand's behaviour is more stomach-churning this time round because of what we know what armand did in san francisco#but they clearly were attracted to each other and liked having sex so#constantly saying loumand's sex life was terrible louis got the ick anytime armand initiated physical contact it's. um. yeah.#maybe ask yourself why you think so
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you said we could bother you... ever consider transfem maglor?
hm, I don't really have much in the way of gender/orientation headcanons for most elves, but I feel like if anything I see him more as the "I have bigger problems and also a sword" brand of agender, if that makes sense?
#asks#thanks for the ask!#honestly i feel like a lot of the feanorians are somewhere along the lines of#'perceive me however you want; third person pronouns are your problem not mine' valar-style approach to gender?#like a sort of 'why bother with gender when i'm making stars'#transfem maglor is also totally valid tho#reminds me of something i was looking into a while ago#about how the wonky finwean gender ratio could potentially be an effect of a few thousand years' worth of transcription and translation#across like. pengolodh; eriol; elrond; bilbo; and tolkien at the minimum#so that's at least five canonical translations the silm's gone through?#anyways it's interesting to see how the only finweans specifically noted to be women are the ones who have either given birth#or are literally named Noble Lady#like. artanis; ar-feiniel; arwen; indis; miriel#and then on the other hand the mens names are a lot more neutral (arakano; aikanaro; etc)#so it's possible that some elves were just assumed to be men by default because they weren't specifically named Princess Woman Daughter#whoops this turned into a bonus post in the tags lol
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#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#shirakami kotarou#kurono takehiro#vocal synth#voicevox#another one based off the memories of some post i saw a while back. i was like possessed. to redraw vsynth characters in popular posts#also low key this was what it was like being 22 in university classes full of 18-19 year olds for a bit there LHJSKHJFSDAjdfs#THEY WERE nicer about it. but sometimes they would find out my age and i could see the 'grown ass' flicker across their eyes#especially when they topic of discussion was shit like sororities and me not knowing shit about it. in my defence i was 1) confused about#'greek life' for a while because i am mixed race and kind of ambiguous irl so i just assumed it was a like a cultural based society thing#(we have a lot of those in my school its very multicultural) and they made an incorrect guess about my ethnicity again and 2) when I DID#finally figure out what the hell 'greek life' was supposed to be i signed up cause a friend asked me to but i missed the first day of#orientation cause i was sick and then the sororities started sending really passive agressive emails to me so i got scared off LOL#random sorority sidetrack aside. it was really funny when i was like yeah i dont really understand the whole deal#and a classmate was like oh well yeah i guess you wouldnt have the experience how old are you again like 18?#and i was like........................................................i turned 23 a month ago <:3c#and her face journey as she realized i was like 3-4 years older than her.... my apologies my dearest classmate#sowwy for being in my early 20s. it wont happen again <3
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(if u notice how many asks im answering rn im answering some older ones that i didnt answer yet before cause i am very slow answering stuff sometimes!! dont mind me)
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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I think one of my friends asked this already but could a payan have a child with a talpian (or the other way around)
Absolutely! Most races can hybridize, very few exceptions, save for plant/aquatic based races like treebodies, fish people, and plant people.
#don't ask why there's like absolutely no hybrids in the main cast#because i don't have an answer#holly's host used to be an elf/bluple but i ditched that design & gave it to a friend a while back#technically there's only one single hybrid and he's been in the story for a while but i only just designed him really really recently#and he dies like. so so quick he isn't even relevant at all skdjhfkjshdfkjsdf#brambleramble#for the most part though on theia it is not very common for different total races to conceive#a lot of cultural reasons#but talpians and thyll for instance-- while considered their own race now-- were originally the offspring of orcs and elves#very very very long time ago in theian history#so they aren't considered hybrids in modern times#same with yetis
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I'm genuinely surprised by how little dawnbreaker content there is
#maybe it's just because i haven't really looked at fanfic in a while#but a few years ago i just know there would have been a ton of dawnbreaker aus#the angst alone just makes for great fanfic material imo#maybe it's because people dont write angst as much? i see a lot of smut now lol#anyways that anecdote had me sobbing#nothing about it is nice its just a kick to the heart every page#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace#i really hope they add more about him to the game because its one of my favorites by far#back to what i was saying about fanfics from a few years ago#i recently went looking for some that i read years ago but every person i remembered deactivated 😭#writers back then were brutal like they just crushed your heart with 0 remorse#whatever those people are doing i hope they're doing well ♡#juat wanted to add that this isn't me subtly asking for dawnbreaker content lmao#i feel like it may come off that way#i just thought it was interesting! like i said i feel like a few years ago everyone would have been all about the sad stuff
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it sucks that so much of my family has also dealt with cancer but it's really lovely that they were able to give me warnings about things
#a friend of mine just had a computer glitch and lost a bunch of work and i said it sucked and i'm sorry and asked if he could email his prof#and he's i think just really upset about it as i would be too bc that does suck so bad#but i don't have the energy to commiserate. i feel like a steaming pile of shit right now. i only got home 30 minutes ago from the hospital#and i have to go back tomorrow and then spend the rest of the day probably feeling like this while also having to go to another appointment#bc i need to get my earrings changed out so i can take them out for my body scan#and then going home with earl and setting up. and finally getting a bday gift to my friend as well and dropping that off#i feel increasingly gross and sick rn and this was just one injection#but my relatives were like 'listen. no one in your life is going to get this unless they've had cancer. and it sucks but that's how it is'#and i'm just very glad i got that heads up because i'm getting a lot of love and support from relatives now#esp the ones who also dealt with cancer#but it's just been radio silence from friends. and i get it i get they have their own lives and might not know what to say#but it does still hurt a little#i do have one friend who has been lovely and accommodating with the diet i have to be on#but my other best friend is just. i think with his school he has his own friends and his own life but. yeah. it just hurts a little#maybe i'm being irrational idk. something to discuss with my therapist today at our appointment#not everything is about me etc etc#this is the same friend who lost his work that i mentioned in the tags#cancer tw
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btw i'm back!! as you might have noticed by the sudden influx of reblogs! how has everyone been? im eating some snacks that i bought in denmark, they're crispy salty with chocolate~~ so tasty
#i ate a lot of snacks while in denmark#it's good that i have family there so i can ask them to send me some if necessary... lol#have you tried danish liquorice? its the best#i also found the chips there that i ate in finland many years ago and they were as good as in my memory#but! i didn't only go there to eat snacks...#i also went to the beach and visited an old city and went on a little boaty tour in the fjord#i already miss the beach and the sea
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I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.
I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.
Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?
#i should be able to block all music i listened to on Spotify from 2018-2020. i was not doing well and i dont need the reminders pls#im fine this was just kinda reflective#so much of what i do was inspired by her. i havent spoken to her in three years. we havent been friends for five#but my first painting was a gift to her. i started knitting because she knitted. i got so much music from her#we bonded heavily over music. and i used it to cope after she left. so unfortunately shes mixed into so much of it#she got me into dnd which got me into a different ttrpg im playing now (unknown armies)#shes a big reason i applied to the summer camp i worked at for six years#and a big reason i took the position i had the last two years. and the reason i told our camp legend (long story)#she was in my christmas in july gift i gave and received this year#i dont think ill ever be able to forget her. on good nights thats a good thing. its reassuring. she'll always be with me#but on bad nights. i feel like im never going to stop missing her#i was knitting tonight while listening to music. as the post suggests. and i was just overcome with her#this is the bed i was in when she called and left me. this is the bedroom we used to video call to practice sign language in#oh theres another one. i was going to be an asl interpreter. years ago in another life. i always practiced with her#we're both autistic and asl is easier than speaking a lot of the time#fuck. it reminds me of the ship of theseus. its 2:30am so i wont be able to explain well but#no actually i tried and i cannot explain. youll just have to understand. some days i wish i ciuld replace all the parts that were her#and sometimes im so afraid to lose the parts that were her because thatll feel like losing her#if i ever consciously decided to stop knitting (which i may have to do soon) it will feel like im replacing a board that was hers#how many of my boards are hers? are any of hers mine anymore? how many of hers can i lose before shes gone?#that last one was asked with fear and hope. and fear. depending on the day#god im tired. goodnight
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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Y’ALLLLLL
guess who just got comicssss
#My first comics ever!!!!#I can not DESCRIBE how excited I am rn#batgirl#the boy wonder#The batgirl new 52 run I’m not sure how it is#But the employee working there recommended it#And she was the absolute SWEETEST omg#Bc i asked like…. 20 questions 😭😭😭#I asked her to look up SO MANY comics to see if she had them in stock 💀 i’m so sorry#I really went there for JLA: Word Without Grown-Ups bc I want to start with that#But I’ve also been planning on reading batgirl 2000 and the boy wonder#So i got those even tho they aren’t the first issue#Bc i had looked on their website like a while ago but i procrastinated going 😭😭😭 so a lot of the comics i had seen were sold out now#Like tmnt 40th anniversary tmnt saturday morning adventures number 13 and the first boy wonder were all sold out#So i bought them now instead of having to find them later#And also now i have motivation to find the other issues LOL#my post
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venn diagram with me and this man and it's nearly a circle I think
#➳ the fool speaks#oh ga.le deka.rios where were you when perhaps i could have benefited from the example of ''dont Literally Kay Why Ess because#someone you love told you to so they'll 'forgive' you and so you can be treated kindly by them again''#LIKE IT'S AN OBVIOUS ASS LESSON BUT AQUA FROM TWO YEARS AGO WOULD HAVE ENDED SHIT W HIS EX A LOT QUICKER LMAOO#ask to tag#sorry I'm mentioning trauma while talking abt a fictional character and how similar we are. I'm normal
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