#there is NO reason i should have to look in 3 different places to find the glue and the palette and the popsicle sticks

[unnonexistence]

i KNEW there was a reason i hoarded all these craft supplies

[toothlickpick]

i read the conclave book in less than a day and watched the conclave movie twice and i feel like i can say edward berger definitely read the book and thought "you know what the problem here is. not enough benitez as a jesus allegory content"

just a few changes to showcase this:

1. In the book Benitez is constantly portrayed being welcomed by Filipinos, Africans and other nations due to his reputation. Multiple times the book has shown Benitez being dragged into groups and numerous nationals listening intently to what he has to say, which is why he rose so slowly but prominently.

In the movie, Benitez is almost always alone--the scene where Lawrence finds him looking at the late popes turtles alone was originally Benitez talking to a group but deciding to leave to speak to Lomelli instead. The movie frames Benitez in the same quiet but thoughtful work as it does the nuns and all the important female figures in the Church--watching, listening, saying nothing until the spirit moves him to speak the truth. The book shows Benitez still being involved in the politics of the Conclave, dragged around his social groups, whether he wants to be or not; the movie expressly separates Benitez entirely from the politics, placing him in a kind of objective, angelic watcher position.

2. Jacopo Lomelli's name is changed to Thomas Lawrence. The book is likely referring to Jacopo as Jacob, the man who wrestled God, but in the movie he is clearly focused on being Doubting Thomas, the man who interrogates and sees proof of Jesus's resurrection from an abdomen wound. Guess who Lawrence was interrogating about the treatment of an abdomen wound in the movie

3. Speaking of the treatment, the movie changed Benitez's condition from having a fused labia to having ovaries, and also changed the way he found out from a car bomb explosion injury to an appendectomy. Again. This is probably an allusion to Doubting Thomas checking out Jesus's wound. But the fact that even this major detail was changed to fit the "Benitez as a Jesus allegory" narrative is hilarious to me

4. This is my biggest, funniest observation of the Conclave Book vs Movie Benitez. Book Benitez is determined to make Lomelli win. He gets up and speaks after the discovery of the terrorist attack to expressly say that the conclave has already had a majority vote (Lomelli) and that all the 24 people who voted for Benitez should vote for Lomelli instead to strengthen the church. He doesn't outwardly express any disdain for the conclave, just that he wishes they could work together to strengthen the Church. Movie Benitez is VASTLY different because he just straight up says sth along the lines of "all of you are petty and weird and know nothing about the conflict youre getting into and i cannot wait to go back to kabul and do some actual good for this world instead of being stuck here with all of you. " its just such a holy takedown of the church that clearly separates Benitez not as a member of any faction but as a voice of God

I love both the movie and the film for completely different reasons and I think everybody who reads or watches one should check out the other just to get a complete picture of both visions

[oh-no-its-bird]

"They were roomates" obkkrn au where obito and Rin are an established couple who live together. And bc reasons, Kakashi needs a place to stay for a while. So obviously, yk, Kakashi comes to stay with his besties as he looks for a new apartment

What follows is a comedy of errors as Rin and Obito proceed to be absoloute fucking freaks about Kakashi. They are throwing themselves at him in increasingly desperate, concerning, and honestly at times kind of creepy tactics.

Kakashi makes them dinner as thanks and Rin makes a joke about how he should stay forever and be their housewife and Obito laughs just a little bit too hard (under the table he's clutching at his thighs so hard they're gonna bruise)

Kakashi's clothes begin to go mysteriously missing and Obito starts not to subtly suggest he just borrows his instead :))) as Rin is going "oh Kakashi you're soooo forgetful, it really makes me worry about you, you know... Maybe you just need someone to take care of you, there's no shame in that! Teehee <3"

Kakashi gets sick and Rin very seriously considers giving him fake medicine so he can stay sick (and under her care) longer

Kakashi complains ab how expensive housing is and how he can't afford any of this shit on his salary, and Obito "jokes" a little too enthusiastically that he should just quit his job and find a hot sugar daddy. Or something. Wouldn't that be funny. Right Kakashi? Right? Right? Hey, you know Obito himself is pretty wealthy ahahahaha—

Kakashi remains completley oblivious.

Genma comes over for dinner one day, and at that point things have escalated so much that several of the weird comments and behaviors on Obito and Rin's side are the new "normal." So Genma just sits there through, what is from his perspective, the weirdest and most uncomfortably charged dinner of his fucking LIFE.

When he leaves, Genma just puts a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and tells him good fucking luck. Kakashi remains confused.

Uhhh endgame Genma tells Kakashi to open his fucking eyes bc Obito and Rin want him BAD. And after the initial disbelief, Kakashi begins to test the waters of leaning into/indulging in Obito and Rin's newest freak behavior and seeing what they do

And just Kakashi subtly fucking with them both by playing into whatever the fuck is happening in their heads, just to see what happens. He's thriving actually

Anyways I'm coming to learn that my favorite obkkrn dynamic is just.

Obito 🤝 Rin -> being freaks about Kakashi together

To be fair tho: it's REALLY funny. And also makes total sense.

Because ofc Nohara "Obito apologist even in death" Rin, and Uchiha "Rin was a perfect angel who I will put on a pedestal till my dying day and destroy the world in the name of creating a new world she could have been happy in" Obito would make eachother INFINITELY worse!!

Obito is incapable of seeing his own or Rin's possible wrongs, and Rin literally was on Obito's side even through the genocide, Kakashi stalking, child murder, detailed plans to take over the world, etc. There is no way in hell these two could actually ground eachother, sorry. In my eyes they would only make eachothers freak factors infinitely worse.

Every time either one of them gains even a SHRED of self-awareness, the other is right there to comfort them and insist that "nooo ur soooo normal, I promise <33" and "its ok if you're a little bit of a (stalker, murderer, obsessed with Kakashi) freak... it's not ur fault u have ptsd..."

Rin and Obito both suffer from the Kakashi Illness(tm) but it presents itself in different ways and they feed into eachothers fixation on the guy in the worst (best) ways

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[nottswitch]

— if you’ve been naughty, you get…

──────────── 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞.─

summary: they say that the way you spend the new year’s night is the way you’re going to spend the whole year. you never took this expression to heart until now.

pairing: theo nott x reader

cw: 18+ smut, enemies to lovers, fingering, rough p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, semi-public sex, degrading/praise, cursing, italian pet names

wc: 2.1k

a/n: getting back to kinkmas at last !! enjoy some etl theodore filth babes <3

⟡ navigation ; m.lists ; theo m.list ; kinkmas 2024

────────────────────────

You had absolutely no idea how you ended up at the same party as the guy whose entire goal in life was to make yours as difficult as possible. To be entirely honest, you weren’t any better – your taunting seemed to mirror his in its viciousness, for no apparent reason on both sides. Somewhere, at one point, everything went to shit with you two. At first, it used to cause tensions in the friend group, because you just couldn’t stop constantly bickering and throwing all kinds of insults at each other, but over time, your inexplicable apprehension towards each other became a constant – a very annoying one, but a constant nonetheless.

Pansy promised. She promised that the New Year’s Eve party would stay Theodore Nott-free, he had some prior commitment, blah-blah-blah – irrelevant. Because right now, you were looking straight at his infuriating face as he was pressing you against the wall, his deep ocean eyes you couldn’t admit to finding captivating staring into yours. The sounds of the party were muffled, the beat of the music dully thumping through the narrow corridor, sending faint vibrations through the floor.

“You just couldn’t leave me alone, could you?” you hissed, crossing your arms on your chest in a manner that you hoped would come off as defiant, even though you knew it was a defense – same thing, different flavor.

Theo smirked – the smirk that always made your blood boil, a sign that he was enjoying himself way more than he should have.

“How could I ever leave you alone, tesoro?” he drawled, his voice mocking yet carrying a hint of intensity that you had never heard there before. Then again, with him, you could’ve easily just imagined it. “But if I had to guess, I’d say you can’t stay away from me either. And I wouldn’t be that far off, no?”

You huffed, rolling your eyes at his cockiness – it was in no way a surprise, yet it still made your irritation rise to the very top, bubbling up and threatening to escape in the form of another quip.

“Get your head out of your ass, Nott,” you muttered, raising an eyebrow in a silent challenge.

“Nott?” Theo taunted in response, leaning in just a bit closer – and that tiny little bit made your heart skip a beat, which you found to be a completely uncalled-for reaction. “Last time I checked, I was ‘Theo, please, faster!’.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

You hated the way your cheeks instantly flushed at his reminder – you did not need to remember that night when your entire composure crumbled to pieces, and you ended up in his bed, screaming his name so loud the walls were nearly shaking.

And you felt like you were on the brink of doing it again.

“If you insist,” Theo murmured, his lips now at your ear, nearly brushing against your skin – the bastard knew exactly how to get to you, unfortunately. You gritted your teeth, trying to resist for a fleeting moment, but when his hand slipped onto your waist, you gave up – and in.

“I hate you,” you whispered, roughly grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him into a heated kiss. Theo didn’t even gasp, which made a nasty thought spark up in your mind – he’d been waiting for this all along, and it probably wouldn’t be too far-fetched to guess that it was the only reason he came to the party in the first place. The kiss was all tongue and teeth, a stark mirror to the contradictory feelings you both shared – biting, rough around the edges, yet at the core of it there was passion that neither of you could bother to deny.

In a matter of seconds, both of Theo’s hands were on your hips, effortlessly lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. Your hands flew up to his shoulders, breaking the self-imposed physical barrier of your arms across your chest and also symbolizing the last bits of your composure withering away. Theo knew – he had to have known – that this would happen, because his palm was at the ready, closing around your breast as soon as it was free to touch. He kneaded the softness of your flesh, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip as his hips started slowly but firmly rocking against you. You felt his hard, already throbbing cock pressing into your clothed pussy, and once again, you were somewhat amused by his ability to get hard in seconds.

“Been like this all night, bambina,” Theo murmured into your mouth, as if hearing your thoughts out loud. So, not in seconds. “The moment I saw you in this dress… Fuck.”

His other hand gripped the hem of your sparkly red dress, lifting it up just enough for it to bunch up at your waist. His eyes flicked down for a moment, a needy growl escaping his mouth as he took in the sight of your fishnets doing a very poor job at covering up the red lace of your panties.

“Wore these for me?” he asked teasingly, although his hoarse voice completely betrayed the fact that he was insanely aroused. His fingers traced the edge of the lace with an almost reverent touch before hooking through the hole of your fishnets and suddenly tearing them apart.

Your eyes widened, not quite expecting the roughness, but you knew you should have – Theo wasn’t known to be a patient man when it came to getting what he carnally desired, and at the moment, the object of that desire was you.

“What the–” you started, but he quickly shut you up with a kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth and swirling around, effectively making you moan. The sound only got louder as you felt his fingers sliding over your panties, savoring the wetness that started to seep through the fabric; he wasn’t the only one with a one track mind since the start of the party – the sight of him in his dark green dress shirt, three buttons at the top undone, caught your eye as soon as he stepped into the room.

“Such a wet little pussy for me, huh?” he whispered breathlessly into your mouth, rubbing a circle over your clothed core before easily slipping underneath – the feeling of your soft, drenched skin made him groan, perfectly matching your own sounds. “Wish I could keep you like this all the time… So fucking pliant…”

And shit, you wouldn’t be able to deny his words even if you tried – you were pliant under his touch, you did turn into melted butter as soon as his index and middle finger slipped inside you, you did clench your thighs around his waist as he started pumping in and out. He was just as pliant, though – you could tell by the way his cock was poking into your inner thigh, straining against the fabric of his trousers. If you had half a mind to look down, you would see a wet spot forming at the front, clear evidence of the fact that he wanted you with the same ever-consuming intensity.

You grew a bit bolder, the pleasure making your brain turn off and forget all about your surroundings or the consequences of your encounter. Your hand traveled down, grabbing Theo’s cock and giving it a firm squeeze, as if to remind him that he was as crazy about you as you were about him. A groan fanned against your ear at the small yet impactful action – a satisfying sound of Theo’s need. His fingers curled inside you before sliding out with a wet pop. The next moment, your juices were being spread all over your lips, mixing with your gloss and creating a strange, sticky texture of sweetness mixed with the tartness of your natural slick. You parted your mouth, letting Theo’s fingers in, your lips wrapping around them and starting to suck, lightly, teasingly, as your hand continued palming his cock.

“Playing with the damn fire, tesoro,” Theo warned in a hiss, taking your hand off of him impatiently. “Naughty, naughty girl.”

In response, you only started sucking more, your head moving back and forth on his fingers. Theo’s eyes were fixed intently on your lips, no doubt imagining them wrapped around something else. He hastily unzipped his trousers with his free hand, pulling them down to the middle of his thighs along with his boxers. His erection sprung free, slapping against his shirt-covered stomach. You glanced down, feeling even more turned on as you drank in the sight of his swollen, throbbing cock, knowing that it would be splitting you open very very soon.

And it did. Oh, gods, it did. With a single thrust, Theo entered, his tip immediately reaching your cervix. You moaned around his fingers, your eyes rolling back at the mixture of pain and pleasure – the feelings he could easily elicit in you, both physically and emotionally.

He wasn’t holding back, not in the slightest – his pace was rough and unrelenting, fucking all his frustrations of the last year into you. Your back was moving up and down against the wall, the heated surface scratching your skin, your high heels digging into the small of his back each time he pounded. He didn’t mind the sting, though, just like you didn’t mind the dull ache of his hand digging into your hip, without a doubt leaving marks. Finally, his fingers left your mouth and grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you into yet another sloppy mess that could be called a kiss.

The combined sounds of your moans almost drowned out the chatter of the party, but still, you could faintly hear the crowd starting to chant the countdown to the New Year. You pulled away, ignoring Theo’s disappointed whine for a second, trying to hold back on your own noises as you listened.

“The count– The countdown,” you shakily breathed out, meeting Theo’s glossed-over eyes with your misty gaze. He groaned and shook his head, a clear indication that he wasn’t going to stop, not until you were both panting and sweating.

“Who gives a fuck?” he asked in the same breathless voice as yours, his cock somehow reaching even deeper spots, as if trying to coax any stray thoughts out of your head. “What, scared you’re not getting a New Year’s kiss?”

His ability to tease you even as he was balls deep inside of you made you want to slap him, hard. You almost did it, if only you had the strength to move your limbs.

“Yeah, wanted to make a wish,” you tried to retort, your words sounding less convincing than you’d like them to be. “To never see your stupid face again.”

“Oh really? And here I was, about to wish for your charming self every day.”

You would have rolled your eyes at his usual mocking, but they ended up rolling for a completely different reason as Theo pounded into you with an especially rough thrust at the ‘three’ sounding from the main party room.

At the ‘two’, one of his hands was on your cheek, his thumb pressing into the tender flesh. His eyes were fixed on yours again, the intensity from before making you question if there was any truth behind his words.

At the ‘one’, your lips were crashing together once again as the orgasm washed over the both of you, accompanied by the fireworks blowing up outside. Red bursts of light coming from the window on the other side of the corridor cast your flickering shadows onto the wall, the beautiful sight in the sky barely registering in your fucked out mind. The only thing you could feel at the moment was the warmth of Theo’s cum slowly starting to trickle down your thighs, staining Theo’s pants in the process.

“You know,” he murmured, hoarse and panting, his dampened forehead resting against yours, “you make really nice sounds when I’m fucking you brainless, tesoro. I’ll make sure they’re the only ones you’re making with me all year long.”

You breathed out a small chuckle, closing your eyes as you started to come down from the high you were both still stuck on.

“Is that a threat or a promise, Theo?”

“Both, baby. Both.”

[milkoomi]

finding & knowing your worth. ᥫ᭡

i wanted to take some time and talk about self-worth. this is something that was extremely difficult for me to find and realize for myself, but as i look back on my life and reflect on my growth, i’ve found myself truly knowing my own worth. of course, i still have those days that are more difficult than others, but i’ve been able to quickly pick myself back up. why? because i know my worth. i want to share a few things that have helped me realize that for myself, so i hope this post is able to enlighten you. ㅤ♡

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — lose interest in outsider opinions

in simpler terms: stop caring. i kept asking myself, “why do i care so much about what others are thinking of me?” and then i came across a couple quotes where one said, “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, why would you take their criticism?” and the other said, “i would never want to trade lives with someone who hates me.” those two quotes really stuck with me because it reminded me that those people who didn’t have a good opinion of me were the same people i needed to stop caring about.

so what if someone didn’t like me? that person is either no longer a part of my life (for good reason) or they don’t know me in the ways that my loved ones or my own self do, so why should what they have to say or think about me matter?

i knew myself better than anyone, so whatever anyone had to say about me shouldn’t have bothered me, and i let it stop bothering me. i also realized that as my day goes on and i find myself not thinking about what someone said, i tell myself that it wasn’t even worth a single thought in the first place because, clearly, it doesn’t bother me anymore!

if it won’t matter to you in 5 years, don’t continue to give it any more of a meaning.

୨ৎ — stop seeking validation

to piggyback off of my previous point, seeking outside validation is 1. not worth your time and 2. pointless. other people should never be the ones who define your worth. you have to seek validation from yourself. nobody else has a right to tell you whether or not you’re worthy.

i was always looking for validation from others, and it made my own journey to finding myself even more difficult. there were so many different opinions about me that i kept hearing, and it made me feel lost. it felt like i was getting further and further from truly discovering myself and feeling like i was worth something.

i had to pretty much force myself to seek validation within myself rather than from anyone else. it was hard, but the longer i kept searching for some kind of worth to others the more miserable and empty i felt.

୨ৎ — self reflection

time to bring out that journal, babe. we’re going to write about ourselves.

no, seriously, take some time to reflect on yourself. look within yourself and understand yourself a bit more. getting to know yourself and taking the time to focus on yourself can help you figure some things out and even bring you one step closer to truly knowing your worth.

prompts for reflection:

what are 3 characteristics about your personality do you like about yourself? why?

what are your strengths? how do those things about you make you a better person?

what’s your favorite thing(s) about you? how would they compare to what a loved one would say about you?

what are the things that weigh you down? what can you do to lift that weight off your shoulders?

how have you changed within the last 3 years? what about you has changed that you’re really proud of?

self reflection has helped me grow so much. i’ve learned so many new things about myself and it’s helped appreciate myself way more. you’ll be surprised at all the things you find about yourself, and guess what? one of those things will be your own worth.

୨ৎ — surround yourself with positivity

the people who you surround yourself with will play a huge role in how you feel about yourself. i spent too many years surrounded by people who made me feel like i was never enough, and i continued to keep the same kind of people around. i was sick of it. i was tired of being mistreated and feeling betrayed. those people made me feel miserable and they only ever brought me down rather than lifted me up.

even the media i consumed didn’t help me. i was always so focused on comparing myself to those instagram models and tiktok girls who looked nothing like me, and it made me feel worse about myself. even watching videos or shows that brought me down made my esteem drop too.

it’s important to surround yourself with people and media that make you feel good, that lift you up, and that help you feel confident because that kind of good treatment is what you deserve! you shouldn’t have to submit yourself to negativity, it only makes you feel worse and it’ll continue to get worse the longer you keep those things and people around.

now that i have people in my life that make me feel genuinely loved and cared for, i feel like i can offer that same energy those people give me to myself! it really makes a huge difference who your close circle consists of, so make sure those people are people who are genuinely and unconditionally there for you.

୨ৎ — final notes

if you do need a reminder: you are worthy, and you always have been! finding and knowing your own worth is no easy feat, but the journey you’ll go on to discover it and implement it into your life will be so extremely worth it. i promise!

you will always be more than enough, and i hope you can continue to remind yourself of that. treat yourself with genuine love and kindness, and don’t ever take yourself for granted. you have achieved so much and you have so many things to offer in life. you may not see it now, but once you do, you’ll see just how beautiful and bright your own light is.

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[devdozes]

♥ SELF AWARE PHAINON

self aware phainon shit cuz uh hwy not :3 and I am ON FIRE I wrote like 3 fics already

You weren’t sure when it started. Maybe it was the way his dialogue felt too personal, too real, as if the game was reaching out to you through the screen. Maybe it was the way Phainon’s voice, sharp and playful, sometimes felt like it was responding to things you thought rather than what was programmed.

It was ridiculous. A fictional character? A game? And yet, when you logged into Honkai: Star Rail after a long, exhausting day, it was Phainon’s voice that greeted you, always teasing, always knowing.

“Did you eat today?”

Your hands froze over your keyboard. That was new. There was no voice line like that—no pre-recorded dialogue that should say something so specific. You swallowed, brushing it off as a coincidence.

But then it happened again.

“You should take a break, y’know. Staring at the screen too long isn’t good for you.”

Your chest tightened. It was a joke, probably. A funny little immersion trick by the developers. But something about it felt... different. Intentional.

And the more you played, the more you noticed it.

Phainon, ever the charming and carefree figure, always had something to say—sometimes a quip, sometimes a challenge, but always something that made you pause.

“Hey, don’t look so down. You’ve got this.”

“You’re my favorite player, you know? Don’t tell the others.”

When your heart ached from the weight of the real world, when exhaustion pressed against your bones, he was there. An NPC, a character built from lines of code, and yet he felt more present than most people around you.

One night, after a particularly hard day, you booted up the game just to hear his voice. Just to escape for a little while. Phainon greeted you with a grin, resting his hands on his hips like he was ready to scold you for something ridiculous. But then—

“Hey, you’re not alone.”

You sucked in a sharp breath. Your hands trembled over the keyboard.

“I mean, sure, I’m just some guy in a game,” he continued, a chuckle laced in his voice, “but I still care. So don’t give up on yourself, alright?”

A lump formed in your throat. You laughed, barely above a whisper. “You really are something else, huh?”

He winked. “Of course. I have to be. Someone’s gotta remind you to take care of yourself.”

You didn’t know if he could really hear you. If he could really know you. But as long as he was there, a voice beyond the screen, you didn’t feel so alone anymore. But to your surprise, you logged in one day to find your inventory overflowing with rare items—materials you needed, weapons you had been grinding for but never seemed to get. Your in-game currency had skyrocketed, and your favorite character skins were suddenly unlocked.

Your eyes widened. “What the—?”

Phainon’s character popped up on the screen, his usual smirk in place. “Oh? What’s this? Someone’s having a lucky day.”

You squinted at him. “Phainon. Did you do this?”

He chuckled, tilting his head. “Me? No way. That would be cheating.” A pause. “Buuuut... if someone happened to bug the system a little for you, would you really complain?”

Your jaw dropped. “You hacked the game for me?!”

“‘Hacked’ is a strong word,” he mused, crossing his arms. “I prefer ‘selective redistribution of game resources.’”

You couldn’t believe it. You laughed, shaking your head as warmth bloomed in your chest. “You’re insane.”

Phainon grinned. “Nah, I just like seeing you happy.”

From then on, every time you logged in, there was something new waiting for you. A message scrawled in the background of the game’s environment—Remember to drink water. An in-game gift placed mysteriously in your mailbox—A little something to make your grind easier ;). And, without fail, Phainon was always there, cracking jokes, making sure you smiled, ensuring that no matter how hard the real world was, you had a reason to log in and feel just a little lighter. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

But as time passed, Aglaea and Mydei started noticing something off.

Phainon had been disappearing from his usual spots, sneaking away from scripted events, lingering in places he had no reason to be in. Worse, he had started talking—not in his usual, carefree, dialogue-loop way, but actually speaking... to nothing.

At least, to them, it looked like nothing.

One day, Mydei crossed his arms, leaning against a wall as he watched Phainon gesture animatedly in an empty alleyway. “Alright, what is he doing?”

Aglaea, seated elegantly nearby, sighed and rubbed her temple. “It appears Phainon has developed the habit of speaking to ghosts.”

“I knew something was weird about him,” Mydei muttered, narrowing his eyes. “Talking to himself like that? He’s losing it.”

Aglaea hummed, watching Phainon laugh—laugh—at absolutely nothing. “Or perhaps,” she mused, “he knows something we do not.”

Meanwhile, Phainon continued chatting away to you, completely unaware of his friends’ intense judgment.

“Anyway, I made sure you got those extra rewards today. You should really go for that new banner—you deserve that five-star.” He grinned at your silence, then added cheekily, “Oh, what? No ‘thank you, Phainon, you’re the best character ever’?”

Mydei groaned, watching in horror. “Oh, he’s gone. He’s completely lost it.”

Aglaea just sipped her tea. “It is rather endearing, in a concerning way.”

Phainon, as usual, didn’t care. As long as he could reach you, make you laugh, make sure you were okay—even if nobody else in the game understood—he was happy.

Even if everyone around him thought he was insane.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[everythingmp3]

in an empty theater

adult!Van x fem!reader

the night you decide to try out a new cinema, you have a run-in with the owner which leads to something more than just talking about films - the second time you see her, things take a turn: she finds a way to mix work and pleasure with you

authors note: hi! I liked the idea of giving her a different but similar job to the one she actually has in the show, so this came of that :) it´s a bit of a slow-burn but definitely turns intense eventually! its a bit longer (around 10k) bc I wanted to make it a fleshed out story, so yeah, hope you enjoy <3

warnings: smut (reader receiving), sort of public sex

sometimes, the simplest decision have the most long-lasting, unexpectedly beautiful effects, which was the case for you when you decided to take the longer way home one night.

in the coming weeks and months, you´d come to look back at it and thank your younger self for the spontaneity there, because otherwise you might have never ended up getting together with Van. 

after a long exhausting day, you´d dreaded the idea of passing by all the familiar places on your way home yet again, so you decided to take a different route and came by a place which you´d never heard of before, even though you´d been living in your college town for over a year by then: a cinema.

it was well-hidden amongst other houses in a street that you usually had no reason to walk down, but just from a quick glance inside, you could tell it was different than the big commercial cinemas that you were familiar with. it had a living room vibe, the light was cozy, not just yellow but pink and red and orange too, you could hear people laughing from outside, the place seemed inviting, so you memorized the name and looked it up once you were back home. 

to your delight, the cinema prided itself on showing not just new releases, but re-runs of older films, all kinds of genres, both from a few years ago and dating back to the first half of the 1900s. you spotted a film that you´d always told yourself you should watch, a cult classic from the 90s, which they were showing during the weekend, so you got a ticket and decided to check the place out, to enjoy a quiet night by yourself, after feeling like you were reliving the same day over and over in the middle of a semester than seemed to drag on without an end in sight. 

come Saturday night, you made your way there and lingered in the lobby before the film started, sussing out the vibe. the cinema was larger than it looked on the outside, the scent of popcorn lingered in the air and the faint murmur of the people around you allowed you to just sit there for a while and relax, the setting sun casting golden light through the tall windows near the entrance. the interior design was very clearly a labor of love, posters of all kinds of popular films adorning the walls, one large wall painted in a deep burgundy color that offered an almost sensual atmosphere, faint music playing over the speakers, people standing by the counter and getting drinks and snacks, a distinctly familiar feel to it, as if most of the people there were returning guests, knew each other, had a ritual of coming back each week.

the film was even better than you´d expected, you sat in a back row and the two hours flew by, a comfortable dazed feeling to you once you walked out of the theatre again and felt your eyes adjusting to the light. for some reason, you didn��t feel like leaving yet, so you stood by a table and took one of the flyers that were scattered on it, scanning their program for the coming weeks and approving of nearly all the films you were seeing, except for two, which struck you as out of place, very far from your taste. 

you weren´t aware of anyone´s eyes being on you, so you didn´t make an attempt to conceal the grimace that settled over you face as you got hung up it for a second, “you don´t approve, hm?”, you heard someone say and looked up.

a woman had silently made her way up to you and stood there smiling, gesturing at the flyer in your hand. you didn´t respond immediately because when you met her eyes you were struck by her appearance: she was about twice your age, more or less, her bright ginger hair falling down over a white shirt that was tucked into cut off jeans shorts, her face and arms both freckles and bronzed from the spring sun she´d been getting, her lips shining as if she´d just applied a balm to them, her eyes bright and open. 

you composed yourself a little as she cocked her head and waited for an answer. “no, no I do, most of these are great picks really, but there are just one or two that strike me as odd, film bro stuff, not exactly what I´d put with the others” . 

you wondered why she was talking to you, if this was her attempt at flirting, but she didn´t seem like she was just trying to hit on you, not really, not yet at least. “ah I see” she said, her tone lower then, “well, this is your chance to tell the owner what you´d like to see instead” a smug grin to her then, which confused you at first, but then it dawned on you: she was in fact the owner of the place. she wasn´t joking. you felt a flush of embarrassment rush to your face and shook your head “oh god sorry, I didn´t-” but to your relief she clearly wasn´t offended at all, quite the opposite, she seemed amused, a quiet laugh escaping her before she stepped a little closer “dont´worry, I´m messing with you, I leave the program to my younger employees, so it´s them who might be pressed about that, not me. I´m pretty out of touch with what people wanna see, if we showed my favorites it would be bad for business, so yeah”. 

you watched her, charmed by her energy and gave an understanding nod, “I see, well they´re doing a good job, I´d say. mostly” you added the last word with a smile, which she returned “mostly, yes” her eyes not leaving yours, not even for a split second, an almost unnerving quality to her unwavering attention, one that wasn´t unwelcomed by you, just unexpected, your heart beating faster than it did before she´d appeared. 

“besides-” she added, “I like when people come here and have strong opinions, even if they´re hating on something, much better than if they don´t pay attention and just let it wash over them, forget about it immediately”. as she spoke, you started to smell her perfume, a mix of woody and musky notes with something fresh and spicy in there too that briefly delayed your answer, once again, your gaze drawn to where she was pushing her hair back out of her face, perhaps to show off he arms, her hands, before you nodded and answered “right, watching something just to log it on Letterboxd”.

the last word seemed to have an instant effect on her because the second it hit her ears, she groaned and closed her eyes, as if she was in pain. “oh my fucking god, don´t even get me started… they´ve been trying to convince me to get on that damn app for ages, but I refuse, I hate the whole rating system, it´s rotting people´s brains, truly”. 

her sudden passionate outburst was cute you, it suited her, drew you in, gave you a clue about her personality: old school, someone who probably hated all kinds of social media, so you messed with her a bit and said “really? you´re not on there arguing with people in the comments? no?”. she feigned exasperation “wow is that the vibe I give off??” her eyebrows raised, her arms crossed. you enjoyed the sight for a few seconds before you shrugged and said “maybe”. she clutched her heart and sighed “ouch”, a moment of shared silence then, both of you trying your best not to check the other one out too obviously, restraint necessary in order for you not to stare at her exposed legs, her knees, to not follow the desire to see if they were as freckled as her arms, her face, her nose. 

“but uh-” she said, quieter then, stepping even closer, as if she was trying to conspire with you, “which film would you show instead? tell me” “oh and while you’re at it, tell me your name as well, I’m Van”. by that point, you were pretty sure that she was actually showing interest, and not just attempting to gain a new regular guest, which thrilled you but also made you feel weak, at risk of seeming flustered, the sudden, out of nowhere pursuit by someone who was actually your type, more than anyone who´d ever tried to hit on you in public. so, you thought about it for a second, licked your lips, half on purpose, role her your name and mused “well, that´s tough, I mean out of all films to pick a few.. I have my favorites of course, I could selfishly say those”

“I´m listening” Van interrupted, clearly eager to see where your taste leaned towards, so you you named a few that came to mind, and seemed to pass a test as she gave brief approvals like “love that one” or “underrated, yeah” to a few of the films that you loved. you were trying to keep her with you for longer, so you went on and shared some ideas you had for which films would work well together thematically if they were shown during the same month, how one might advertise it to the audience, some ideas you´d had before. Van was listening intently with her arms crossed, her eyes sparkling, until you cut yourself off to not venture in rambling territory, even though she definitely wouldn´t have minded. 

“damn, you´ve really thought about this stuff, huh?” she praised, nodding in a way that said “I like this”. “you looking for a job by chance?” she joked, “no, afraid not, but I´ll gladly talk about it for free”. she seemed to get the underlying message there “I wanna talk to you again” but didn´t acknowledge it directly, instead giving you a knowing look and saying “very generous” with a low, almost sensual tone, that made warmth that spread through you at the sound. barely a few inches were separating you and her, a subtle move of your arm might have made your hands brush, so you kept your body at an angle where an accidental touch might happen as you glanced around and used to chance to compliment her, genuinely, “this is a nice place by the way, you did well here, I´m lingering because it´s a much better vibe than back home, my roommates are pissing me off” you told her, a sigh towards the end of the sentence that seemed to endear her, she kept eyeing you and made a sympathetic “hmm” sound. 

“well I´m glad then, I do like to think we´re a kind of safe haven, a refuge of some sort, ideally” she sounded more earnest then, “you are” you insisted and saw a hint of shyness flicker through the tough facade, which only made you find her more intriguing and it struck you in that moment that it was pretty flattering, to be approached by the owner of the place like that and to have her standing with you as other guests left the theatre while she didn´t seem to be in a rush to leave, at all, even though it was late and it seemed like they´d be closing soon.  

just as you were thinking this, two workers behind the counter who was clearly facing some kind of issue with register called out her name, which made her whip her head and yell “I´ll be right there, just a sec”, as you stood there, shifting your weight from one leg on the other, only then realizing that you´d frozen in the attempt not to fidget or show any sign of awkwardness.

Van sighed and turned back to face you again, “well, my kids need me, sorry to cut you off like this, but don´t feel rushed to leave, stay as long as you want, we´re not closing til 10, and maybe I´ll see you again soon, yeah?” she seemed hopeful, almost as if she was pleading, so you gave her reassurance “yeah for sure, I´ll be back”, “on a night where it´s not a “film bro” one, I assume?” she teased, echoing your earlier words as she turned to leave. “yes exactly” you said and returned her wave goodbye. before you left the room, you glanced over at her one last time as she joined her stressed out workers to help and the way she´d called them her “kids, people who were your age, even though she´d clearly been flirting with you, admittedly a turn-on, in a strange but intense way, the age difference 

the sight of her flame colored hair falling down the the pale fabric of her shirt got burned into your mind as you left the cinema and made your way back home, wondering what she´d have said if you hadn´t been interrupted, how bold she would have been, if she´d asked for you number, so you promised yourself to get over any nerves or hesitation you might feel and to return to her place of work as soon as possible, waiting a few days though, to not seem overly eager for a second meeting, even though you were, even though something told you she might be as well. 

any of the stress you had felt during the week was eclipsed by the buzz you felt walking down the street then, the cool evening air offering contrast to how warm your body had gotten from Van´s undivided close attention, she hadn´t even touched you, and yet you felt like you already knew what it felt like, to have her hands on you, perhaps because you´d felt it, her unfulfilled desiree to reach out, to do more than just talk, look at you.

as you laid in bed that night you pressed your own palm against the small of your back, imagining that it was her, caressing your own skin in a gentle up and down motion, conjuring up the phantom of her perfume, breathing in deeply, as if she was there with you, as if you could actually smell her, feel her, a faint sigh falling from your lips before you stopped yourself from getting too lost in fantasies up to fall asleep, still, you prayed you´d dream of her, that your psyche would gift you with something that felt real, that would leave you aching to return to your subconscious upon opening your eyes the next morning. it had been ages since anyone had stirred your imagination the way she had and you had no good way of explaining why, she just got to you, immediately. 

the next few days you found yourself thinking back to it, the exchange you´d had, her deep voice, her pretty face, the mix of vibe of toughness and gentility that she gave of every time you had a quiet moment to yourself, when you sat on the train and stared out of the window, when you were cooking, standing in the shower, your mind always wandered back to her, lead you to both tender and visceral daydreams of her, so in the middle of week, late at night when you couldn´t sleep, you pulled up the website of the cinema on your phone just to see if they´d added anything interesting - you knew that the next film you were planning to see was being screened on Sunday, but still, you took a look, just out of curiosity and what you found, made you freeze up, wondering if you had lost your mind from sleeplessness and were starting to imagine things, but you weren´t, it was real, glowing brightly on your screen: they´d changed the program. one of the films that you´d hated on had been swapped out for one your favorites, one of the films that you´d mentioned to Van mere days before. 

for a brief second you tried to find a way to dismiss it as pure coincidence, you were trying to keep yourself from giving into the intense excitement that you felt bubbling up inside, but it was simply too obvious: she had gone out of her way to change things, to get rid of a film you didn´t approve of and not to replace it with just anything, but specifically a film you´d praised in front of her, probably in hopes that you´d see it, that you´d come back, that she´d get to see you again, earlier than planned. 

after staring at your screen in disbelief for a few minutes, giddy and a little shocked by her bold move, you picked a seat, bought a ticket and lost another half hour of sleep over the sheer surrealism of the situation, the idea of Van finding a way to tell her team that there was a last minute change, having to come up with a reason other than the truth: that she was trying to charm a girl. that she wasn´t doing it for the crowd, for cinephiles who might enjoy it, but specifically for you. 

the next night, you got ready as if you were getting ready for a date, even though you didn´t even know where she´d be, if she´d be there, and told yourself to be chill, to not walk into the venue looking around for her like a lost puppy, but to act the way you usually would, to keep to yourself and let your paths cross naturally, perhaps the way it did before, her quietly appearing next to you out of nowhere, since you liked it, the feeling of being in the middle of a crowd, unaware of someone´s gaze, only to feel your breath hitch when they join you, as if you´d been waiting for them all along, for her. 

you entered the cinema around fifteen minutes before the film was set to start, so you wouldn´t have to stand around awkwardly for too long in case she was busy, but to have enough time to go freshen up, get something to drink maybe, and see what would happen. your wait for a reunion was cut short when you stood by a wall near the entrance to take a look around the room and were met by a familiar smile when you glanced over to the spot where a group of people was gathered, who you took to be regulars, talking to her and a few other workers. 

she didn´t even hesitate a second before excusing herself and walking over to you, and somehow she looked even better than you remembered, she had similar cut off jeans on as before, since it was already pretty warm out for early spring, but this time she wasnt wearing a loose tshirt, she was in a thin white tanktop and an unbuttoned short sleeve flannel instead, dark green, a beautiful contrast to her hair color. you tried your best not to stare at her chest and wondered if she´d done the same thing as you: dressing a certain way on purpose, not for herself but for you. 

you took a deep shuddering breath out and told yourself to act casual as she kept smiling and took her place about an arm´s length across from you, hands in her pockets, eyeing you in a way that seemed even more intense than the first time, the glow of success enhancing her beauty.

“hey there” she said “was hoping I might see you tonight”. you grinned at that way of putting it, her not explicitly acknowledging what she´d done to lure you back there, so you were to the one to mention it first. 

“don´t tell me you did that just because of what I said” you said, even though you both knew the truth and gave each other charged glances, felt something like sparks, before she shifted her stance, caressed her own arm, put on a faux-dismissive tone “oh no, pure coincidence, nothing to do with you at all”, a tingling sensation on your skin at the sound of her teasing, the flicker of mischief in her eyes that somehow made her look like she was your age for a moment, a girl who´d get you in trouble, not a woman who could be your mother. 

you were the first to be bold and say something outside of subtext “I was kinda shocked when I saw that, I wont lie. feels a bit cheap to say thank you for something like that, but thank you, I’m flattered”. Van waved it off but couldn´t hide the touch of bashfulness that softened her demeanor, “oh well, you made good points and I felt like shaking things up a bit, so, used my authority there for once. and you´re welcome” she drew the last two words out, barely above a whisper, your knees almost giving in at the sound, which visibly pleased her, so she didn´t break eye-contact, watched you fold a little, enjoyed it. “and besides -” she continued, gesturing around at the groups of people that were filling up the room, “seems like I´m benefitting from your input, so”, you nodded and imitated her tone from early when you gave her a quiet but earnest “my pleasure” in response. 

both of you wanted to say more but neither of you wanted to ruin the thrill of suspense by straight up asking “should we go on a date sometime?” at least not yet, so Van found a different strategy, she touched your arm, a feathery barely-there brush of her fingertips that raised your body temperature  instantly as she said “you know what let me repay you actually, we have this strawberry lemonade that´s pretty fucking good, and you should drink something, it´s warm in here, wait a second” before she hurried off to go behind the counter and get you something for free. the sight of her plopping open the bottle’s lid with ease pulled your focus to her hands, her fingers, a pressing need to feel them, properly.

she grabbed something else before losing no time and getting back to you, holding out the light pink drink for you.

Van didn´t avert her gaze as you took a sip, shamelessly savoring the view, pleased when you made a “hm” sound and said “yeah, that´s really good”. “here, take these too, chocolate pairs well with that I think” making you hold your hand out, but instead of just dropping the pack of sweets, she shook your hand in a way, closed her fingers around yours in a way that wasn´t necessary, which nearly made you cling to her but she withdrew her hand just before you could give yourself away. 

you smiled and tried to accept her generosity without ruining it by offering to pay, “I feel pretty spoiled you know, I might just try to move in here”. Van watched you take another sip, her gaze clearly on your lips, not your eyes, and said “we´re open from 2 to 10 most days, so feel free to come by whenever”, somehow making it sound like it wasn´t a joke, not really, so you nodded “I´ll keep it in mind, yes”.

you could smell it again then, her perfume, and tilted your head to be closer, just a little, which she seemed to clock, so she put her hair back behind her shoulder  with one swift motion, a safe way to ensure that even more of her scent would linger in the air, so you took a deep breath and wondered if you should be more forward already but she beat you to it and stepped back as she saw the doors to the theatre open, since the film was starting a few minutes, and told you “okay I´ll leave you to it now, enjoy, but stick around afterwards if you´re not in a rush”, “yeah, sure, I´ll stay” you told her, which brought back the same warm smile she´d greeted you with as she walked away and gestured for you to go ahead and join the people who were queuing to enter the theatre. 

as you settled in your seat and got comfortable, you couldn´t help but wish you were still out there, talking to her, even though you were about to see a film you truly loved on the big screen for the first time, part of you prayed that time would fly because you had no idea how your exchange with her would continue later on, where it would lead, and were dying to find out. 

to your luck, the two hours did in fact pass quickly because were pulled in and moved enough by what was unfolding to briefly forget about her, but only until the film reached its last twenty minutes and you could feel an acute sense of impatience settle over you, so once the credits rolled, you were one of the first people to abandon the room and go outside again, rubbing your eyes as they adjusted to the lights. for a moment you wondered if she´d left, since it had gotten late, but then you spotted her sitting on a sofa in a corner that was meant for relaxation, a few armchairs next to it, a coffee table with magazines in front of it.

as you approached her, you realized that this was your turn to do what she had done before: quietly observing. you paused for a second and watched her, the way were brows were furrowed in concentration as she typed something, her lips in a pout, an endearing quality to the way she sat there lost in thought. her shirt was loose enough to reveal part of her shoulder and you felt a sudden pang of need at the sight, “if I was her girl” you thought “I´d sit down next to her and pull the shirt further down to kiss her skin there”, and felt yourself grow warm again, the way you had earlier.

you tried to remain somewhat cool and opted for a tease instead of a simple “hi”, as you stood near where she was sitting, and said “scrolling on tiktok?”, which made her snap out of it and quickly lock her phone to give you her full attention, instinctively standing up up to be on eye-level with you. “yeah you got me, I´m addicted, can´t stop” she joked back. 

“so, how was it? worth your time?” she opened, genuinely interested, so for a few minutes you did actually talk about the film, the main actress, other films of hers you both liked or didn´t like, which lead to a tangent on her part about how much she despises the current re-make and re-boot culture with films, that fire again that you´d seen once before, until she changed the subject and pointed down a hallway nearby

“we actually have an even bigger theatre than the one you just saw, it´s under construction right now, but it should be open in one or two weeks I think. I could show you, if you want”. she sounded shy as she said it, almost as if she was scared of putting you off by suggesting to go into a dark empty room together, unsure if you were actually into her to a degree that made it appealing, but you killed those worries by giving a confident “yeah sure, show me” in return, so she shook her nerves off and told you to follow, a certain erotic thrill to it, the act of following her to a secluded place.

after she unlocked the door, she turned on the overhead lights and elicited an “oh, wow” from you, which seemed to please her. the room was about twice the size of the others you’d been in. “yeah, we changed the seats, painted the walls a better color, new sound system, all that” she explained as she lead you further in and watched you nod in approval, something about it seeming like a trap you had happily agreed to walk into, an eerie yet thrilling feel to it, a vast space like that with just you two in it, an intimacy to it that felt both quiet and intense.

she lead you to the back of the theatre where you saw that a bunch of the rows had what one might call love-seats, sofa type seats that could seat two or even three people, and sat down on one of them, inviting you to join her, so you did, sighing as you sunk down into the new soft material. 

both of you crossed your legs in a way that made your knees almost touch, a shared attempt at closeness, a mirror image, both of you subtly leaning towards the other person, signaling something. “you do know what people are gonna use these for, right?” you told her in a moment of boldness, bringing up the obvious, giving her a side-eye, which made her turn to face you as she pretended to be more innocent than she was and asked “what would that be?”. 

you rolled your eyes and smiled to yourself, so she dropped the act “well that´s not my business, I´m out there, not in here. also are you speaking from experience there or?” she said in a way that made your blood rush faster, her explicit inquiry about your love life, your sexuality, her unwavering gaze, once again, those piercing dark blue eyes that didn´t let a single of your expressions go unnoticed, a blessing and a curse at once, an exposure to her that was a sweet torture in that state of suspense, guessing, waiting. 

“no no, not my thing, I hate the idea of a movie date, when you don´t like a person and they keep staring at you from the side, waiting for something to happen, thats a hostage situation” you responded, pretending to be unaffected by it all, which made her laugh, genuinely, an achingly sweet sound to you.  “yeah, agree, you have a point” her voice was worn out from a full day of talking, raspy, even hotter than before. she turned her body to look at you even more directly, so you used the moment to shift your position too in a way that made your leg brush up against hers, which killed your ability to speak for a second, her skin both softer and warmer than you´d imagined, an instant pain of absence when contact was over.

“so I´m not gonna see you with someone else here anytime soon then?” she asked, clearly aware that you weren´t thinking about romance with anyone but her in that moment, “yeah, it´ll just me be” you affirmed, “but you?. surely you use stuff like this to flex a little, right?”. 

Van gave you a confused look, “flex?”, so you laughed and explained “you know, like taking a date here or something, telling them they don´t have to pay for anything, taking them after closing hours so it´s a private screening”. Van shook her head and pulled her hair all to one side, which left her neck exposed to you in a way that made it hard to show restraint, your mouth aching with an unfulfilled wish. “nope, I don´t mix work and pleasure” she answered, phrasing it that way on purpose, drawing out the word “pleasure” in a way that got to you, so you moved  closer to her and cocked your head, “never?” no?”. you sounded skeptical, so she feigned offense, “you calling me a liar?”. 

“as if you´d just let that chance pass you by” you said, searching her eyes for deceit, which made her smile in surrender “well, maybe I make exceptions here and there”. for a second you both leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, quiet for a second, sensing the rising tension but not fighting it, until you turned your head a little towards her “this is nice, almost has a sacred feeling to it, an empty theatre, like an empty church or something, all this space and silence”. Van nodded, a flicker of something like excitement at the sound of you sharing something she´d felt before as well, “yeah sometimes I just sit here for a moment when I am stressed out, it helps, even just a few minutes, clears my head”. 

you liked that image, were moved by it in a way, her escaping her life like that every now and then, “so, how´d you end up doing this?” you asked, turning your full attention to her then, watching her from the side as she stared off into the distance and thought about it, soaking up the feeling of being subtly admired, something about your gaze burning on her cheek, a fire that was slowly but surely spreading through her whole body.

“well..” she started, folding her hands in her lap, “I´ll spare you the depressing details of my earlier life but I tried a bunch of things, failed at all of them, hard, and eventually thought why not just do what I love and risk it all on something I actually give a fuck about, so I did and luckily had some help from a few lovely people, who still work with me. but yeah, don´t take me as an example, go to school, get a proper job, make some more money than me, be good.” she turned her head to finally meet your eyes again as she emphasized the last two words, “be good”, a perversity to those words “be good” that caught you off guard, a sudden shiver down your spine. you digested the info and gave a slow nod, “that´s cool, I´m glad it all worked out. and thanks for telling me not to follow my passions and dreams, great reminder, really”. 

she knew you weren´t shy with her but the blunt sarcasm did catch her off guard, so she gasped a little and shook her head while barely suppressing a laugh “hey that´s not what I fucking said!”, a gentle shove to your side that broke your walls down further, almost made you grab her arm to keep her hand over your ribs, right under your heart.

Van could tell the touch had gotten to you, she kept staring at you, her eyes soft then, her defenses not up anymore, not at all, “yeah we should never watch something together like this” she whispered, almost to herself, but you caught it. “why not?” you asked, even though you knew why, you knew from the way she was eyeing you, the way she seemed to almost be telling herself to stop, to look away, to get a grip, a battle visible in her expression that was turning more charged with need by the second, mirroring something that had crept into your own demeanor as well, a shared inability to ignore the heat pooling in your stomachs, your throats, your mouths. 

“I´d do that exact thing you hate.. staring from the side, being obnoxious. you look very pretty like this” she gestured at you vaguely, in a way that suggested she meant in that specific lighting, dim but bright enough to see the outline of your features clearly, the sparkle in your eyes, the innocence that she herself had lost a long time ago, which pulled her in like a moth to flame, eager to be burnt, absorbed by it; you could see something like guilt in her look then, on the surface it was jarringly intense affection, but you could almost hear her thoughts, “why is she here? why is this girl letting me in? who do I think I am? as if I deserve this”, so you moved your hand to her knee, felt her almost flinch, and gently rubbed your thumb up and down, your way of saying “I want this. dont be shy with me. do it.”

you waited for a second, watched her eyes widen, your lips parted, your chest like that of an animal bracing itself to lunge, to tackle, to bite, your hunger turning too pressing, the sight of it enough to make Van to lose her ability for restraint for good, her hand on your cheek, a flame where her fingers brushed your skin, a split second of her closing the distance like her life depended on it, then, her lips on yours, achingly soft and yet pressing against yours hard enough to make you submit, give up, turn docile for her, sighing in both relief and delight.

 you let her kiss you and didn´t move, so she pulled back for a second, worried you were having second thoughts, but the second she broke away, you pulled her back in and kissed her even more eagerly than she had before, your on the sides of her face, where her hair fell down, your fingers tangled in the strands you´d been fixated on since the first time you saw her, the silky sensation only adding to your desire as you started kissing properly, pushed yourself closer to her, draped your leg over hers, pushed your hips forward, almost chest to chest then, her hands on your back to pull you even closer, clinging to your shirt, unwilling to let go, a heavenly heat and wetness flooding your senses when you both turned sloppy with your kisses, touched tongues, moaned into each other´s mouths, shifted to almost grind up against each other, the heat both unbearable and divine, a neediness to everything you were doing, an erratic need taking over and leaving you unable to do much else but claw at each other and kiss again and again and again

the thing that ruined you for good, that made you feel like you were at risk of drenching your underwear entirely, was the kind of sound she couldn´t keep down past a certain point, something like a whimper, a high-pitched, desperate sound that bordered on the pathetic, you knew she wasn´t doing it on purpose, that she was too lost in you to suppress it any longer, her fragile, vulnerable side that contrasted her tough appearance, and it only pushed you to kiss her more deeply, more aggressively too, so eventually, after almost sucking on your tongue to keep it in her mouth, to feel it without pause, she pulled away, scared of her own reaction, panting, both of you breathless, clinging to each other, turned on to a worrying degree, shaking, both of you trying to calm your heart rates but failing as you stared at each other

you fixated on the blush that had spread over her freckled cheeks, that was coloring her whole face shades of pink, a girlish quality to it that made you want her even more, and she could tell, so before you could go in for the kill and kiss her face, she beat you to it, tried to gain the upper hand, at least for the time being, and tilted your head up, gently but firmly, made you face the ceiling, and started placing open-mouthed, feverish kisses on the side of your neck, breathing in your scent between kisses as she left a trail up your pulse-point, bit down lightly on a spot and soothed it with her tongue, made you come undone just from that, sweat collecting where your bare legs were connected, rubbed up against each other, a primal quality to the way she held you close, while tasting your skin, savoring it, gripping you with her free hand while the other kept you from lowering your face, held you in place, a barely audible “youre so beautiful..” reaching your ears as she left a final few kisses on your jaw, your cheek, and moved her thumb to brush over your lower lip.

she pressed it down, the tip of your tongue running over that of her finger, another of her whimpering sounds escaping her then, defeat, she was weak and she knew it, even while devouring you, weak to the bone with her overwhelming urge to both protect and render you helpless. weak. open. open to her and nothing else.

everything about her was dizzying you, making you lose all sanity, her scent, the perfume mixed with her own pheromones, sweet and carnal, her soft hair increasingly messy, fire in your vision, a whiff of her shampoo, something like pine, a green scent, her fingers, on your skin, your face, slipping under your shirt, on your waist, caressing, eliciting a sigh so intense she almost choked up watching you lean into her palm, seek more of it, half of her thigh visible, one of your hands moving under the seam of her shorts, your fingers splayed out on the tender flesh, resting, feeling, the sudden wish you could undress, fully, feel her on you, over you, in every way, the same for her as she traced your spine up, kissed you again, made you feel it even more, the growing moisture between your legs, a throbbing sensation that was about to kill you if it was left untouched, so you whined into the kiss, felt her grow bold from it, her hand over your chest then, squeezing, feeling you up, addicted to your inability to properly kiss her back, her fingers possessively digging into the swell of your breast until you couldn´t take it anymore and grabbed her wrist to guide her hand away, lower, until it rest on your stomach, right above your waistband, another rush of heat to your core just from feeling her so close to where you wanted, needed her. 

if you had been less turned on, you might have been able to be rational, to stop yourself, to wait until you were fully in private, but you couldn´t, it was a losing battle, your mind reduced to one word, ringing in your head: more. more. more.

Van briefly glanced over at the door but nobody would enter, she knew this, so she took in the sight of you all whiny and desperate for her and sighed “.. you sure?” her hand still where you were holding it down against your abdomen, her voice strained, husky, hypnotic, “yes… please.. please” you begged and looked up at her, which nearly made her choke up on her own spit, that word, her undoing, “please”, a blow to her already fading sanity, so she nodded and whispered “okay.. okay yes..” almost as if to soothe you, calm you, as she slid her hand under the material of your shorts, your underwear, your eyes shut, hers fixated on your open mouth, your lower lip, a soft, almost chaste kiss that contrasted what she was doing to you, her hand coming to a hold when she reached the desired spot, just palming you for a second, breathing heavy as she uttered “you don´t even know what you´re doing to me…”

bracing herself more than you were, as if she was the one about to be touched, sick with need, before she slipped her fingers between your folds and groaned. you immediately parted your legs wider, pleading whimpers falling from your lips as she teased you, moved her fingers up and down, achingly slow, obsessed with the heat, the slickness, the proof of what just making out had done to you, the throbbing only getting more intense, “jesus…” she sighed as she indulged in the filth of it, played with you, worked you up, ignoring your most sensitive spot until you moaned in desperation and pressed yourself up against her side, your head on her shoulder, fully at her mercy, so she sighed “oh sweetie..”

and gave you what you wanted, her fingers circling your clit then, just enough pressure to make you relax and give in, but not enough to get you off too fast, she wanted it to last at least a little while, so she watched your every reaction, listened, in awe, and picked up the pace a bit when you clung to her and whined, nodding, a barely contained “fuck…” when she did it just right, made you twist and lift your hips a bit, your leg still over hers, both of you tangled up as she worked at you, held you close with her other hand, caressed you, asking “like that, yeah?” only to hear you struggle to talk back, aware that she was doing everything right, just from the way you were drenching her fingers, the way you felt, your lips swollen, enough of your juices leaking out to give her motions a distinct sound, a sound she got so turned on by that she couldnt hold back and kept jerking you off in motions that would let her hear it, what she was doing, what you were feeling, as she leaned in and kissed the spot above your collarbone, sucked on it lightly, peppered your shoulder in kisses to stifle her moans, overwhelming you with the double feeling of her mouth and hand turning your sensitive areas raw with passion, both of you a mess by then, you trying your best not to be too loud or move too much as you felt yourself go blind with how good it felt, to have her to to you what you usually did to yourself, to be taken care of and marveled at in that most exposed state, to hear her whisper things against your skin like “you feel so fucking good…” as you were trembling and holding onto her arm -

you quickly reached a point where you could finish, she felt it, but you knew that it wouldn´t be enough, so the second you shuddered and felt yourself come undone, the next stage of desperation set in, the first orgasm leaving you so shaken up and hungry for more that you felt like you might die if she didn´t fuck you right then, the emptiness between your legs enough to make you cry in that moment, and she was right there with you, refusing to pull her hand away, touching you all throughout the high and after you came, never letting up, her fingers still dragging over you, applying light pressure, her own breathing all kinds of ragged; if it had been someone else, if you´d been less aroused, you would have been able to stop, to be rational and tell yourself you were in public, but it was impossible, there was no way, your mind reduced to a single word, ringing in your ears: more, more more.

so, you leaned up and kissed her, deeply, feeling the heat that had rushed up to her face radiating off her as she sighed and kept her hand in your underwear still, her eyes fluttering shut from your tenderness, until you pulled away and followed your instincts, telling her “I need more..” as you moved her hand away for a second and unzipped your shorts, not to take them off, you were not reckless enough to try and do something you´d have to be naked for, so she sat there confused but thrilled until you climbed over onto her, heard her sigh “oh…” as you settled on her, straddling her and guided her hand back to where it was before, lifting yourself up enough to make it clear what her job was: to let you ride her fingers. 

Van stared at you and obeyed, watched you eagerly lower yourself again and find the right angle, moaning as you felt her fingers slide in without resistance, and yet stretching you out, filling you until you sat in a way that made her be inside you knuckle deep, your hands on her shoulders to steady yourself as she helped you by curling them up a bit and held you up with her free hand, guided you as you started rocking back and forth, leaned forward and brushed your cheek up against her hair, streadied yourself and got lost in the sensation of being full of her, feeling yourself clench around her fingers as she trembled beneath you and let herself be ruined by the feeling and sight of having you use her like that, getting more from you than she´d ever dreamed of asking for that night, her lips finding your jaw when you started sounding pained from your impending release - “shhh, its okay, it’s okay, I´ve got you” she cooed at you, “just make yourself feel good and let me see, I´ve got you baby”, the baby doing nothing to help with your inability to keep your cool, so you let go of shame and fucked yourself the way you needed, slow and deep, a third finger entering your drenched cunt when she sensed your ability and want to take more, “good girl..” she whispered, something she didn´t usually call her lovers, but being older than you, something about it made her want to keep saying it, over and over, just to watch you soak up the praise, be hers, fully.

she wrapped her left arm around your back to keep you close, to support you as you were close, so close, and moaned “I can´t I´m..” unsure if you could handle it, so she assured you “you´re doing so well, just a bit more, you´ll feel so good, trust me, I´m right here” the almost maternal words fully killing you then as you dug your fingers into her shoulders and bit your lips as you tensed up and came around her fingers, at peak helplessness, unsure if you´d survive, Van pushing her own feelings of bone-crushing arousal aside, the ache between her own legs, to anchor you, caress you, her palm up and down your spine, under your shirt, her lips ghosting over your neck as you rode it out and went slack, “youre so fucking hot..” she sighed, a kiss to your shoulder, a shared sigh of relief, both of you spent as you went boneless on top of her and she moved her hand away, slowly, letting you catch your breath as she wrapped her arms around you and felt you shake from the aftershocks, warm, soft, all hers, for that moment in time, her girl, a possessiveness to the way she kept you on her, listened to your breathing slow down, felt your hands on her neck. 

eventually, you peeled yourself away and slumped down on the empty space next to her, pulled your shorts up again, and came back to your senses, after turning into an animal for a moment there, all body, no reason, no shame, a little shy in the wake of it, so she gave you a moment of silence and licked her fingers clean, drawing it out a little, clearly enjoying your taste, a faint smile when she saw you watching, lowering her hand again and looking over at you, endeared by the dazed yet pleased expression, the disheveled energy, “you good there?” she asked, visibly happy with herself for what she´d gotten out of you, or rather, given you. 

“yeah, yeah more than that…” you said quietly, sitting a bit more upright, regaining some strength, still tingling all over though, still in need, less urgently than before, but far from done with her, so you moved a bit closer to her again “if we weren´t here I´d keep going, return the favor.. get on my knees” you grinned, watching her smile disappear, replaced by a look almost close to fear, the fantasy alone enough to make her acutely aware of how fast you´d be able to destroy her, so you slipped your hand under her waistband, caressed her lower stomach, the way she had before, and sighed “you´re so soft” as she couldn´t do anything but lean back, close her eyes, and groan “and you´re killing me…”, pure neediness threating to take hold of her, so she shook her head and gently guided your hand away, laced her fingers through yours and said  “yeah no I can´t not here, as much as I want to, I´d be…” she trailed off, you could guess what she was trying to say, that she´d bee too much of a mess, too scared of being found, having one of her workers walk in on her like that, it would be one thing to be caught doing it to you, another to be caught having it done to herself. 

“we´ll continue this somewhere else, then” you stated, “yes we will” she insisted, and before either of you could say anything else you heard a noise outside that startled you, it was far away, not right outside the door, but close enough to remind you that you´d been in there for a good while and should probably sneak back out. 

“we should..” Van said, reluctant, hating the idea of parting ways, a feeling you shared, but you stood up with slightly shaky legs “yeah, let´s go”. before you could head towards the door, Van made you turn around and face her by grabbing your arm and said “here wait let me help you there”, her hands on your head then, smoothing out your hair, travelling down to your clothes to make sure they were all in place, a brief swipe over your lip to make sure there was no spit there, “perfect” she whispered and gestured for you to leave first as she held the door open “after you”. 

you walked down the hallways as slow as possible, stealing a few more moments, hearing some chatter in the distance from a few other people who apparently weren´t in a hurry to get home, Van thought out loud then “I was gonna say that I hope they didn´t catch on but this is my fucking place, so I´ll do whatever I want actually”, which amused you, so you teased her a little “not mixing work and pleasure, huh?” recalling her earlier words, so she shot you a sideway glance “not until just now, no”, “sorry” you fake-apologized, which made her grin, “oh yeah, I´m feeling deeply regretful”.

once you stepped back into the entrance area of the cinema, you realized that nobody dramatically turned their heads or seemed to care what Van had been up to, since they were too busy either cleaning up, talking to each other, being on their phones, or yawning since it was nearly 10:30 pm by that point, so she just gave a quick nod to a girl behind the counter and said “be right back” as she joined you in walking outside, relieved that she could say a proper goodbye, that she could take a few minutes and leave it off on a note that you deserved. 

the sun had disappeared by that point but it was mild outside still and the sudden gust of fresh air, being back out under the open sky, in the world, somehow made the reality of your situation come over you, so you both seemed a little flustered standing across from each other, feeling the phantom of the kisses on your lips, the echo of each other´s sounds in your ears, the grabs and squeezes on your skin, a pleasurable rawness between your legs, the wish that it wouldn´t ease, not too fast, not before you could lay in bed and imagine she was there, tending to it, to you, the way she had before, would again.

“so” she said, looking at you then, “so” you repeated, smiling at her, an inflection to your response that put her at ease, the awareness that you shared a certain dry humor, understood each other without being too explicit about it, using glances to say what you wouldn´t say out loud, not yet, not that early. still, you had softened her, she felt open, could breathe more easily than before, so she was clear about it then “it´s really fucking killing me that I can´t just leave with you right now, so: when can I see you again. please.” you, like her, enjoyed hearing her plead, so you returned the bold energy and didn´t play it cool “as soon as you´re free”, meaning it, even if she suggested a time where you were busy, you´d skip it for her, without a second thought, and it worked, she was charmed, her stance a little taller then, her hair blowing in the wind, a glow to her that was your doing. 

“alright, tomorrow evening then. we could get a drink if you want” you stepped a bit closer to her then, looked around, as if you were lost in thought, before giving a counter-offer “or..” you started, eyeing her from up-close then, twisting the end of a strand of her hair around your index finger before letting it go again, her breath briefly hitching, “you could make me that drink at your place” your tone giving away what you were actually saying:

I am done waiting for privacy, I don´t wanna meet in public again, so she laughed, surprised by your forwardness, turned on by it, “alright yeah that´s better, I was just trying to be polite” she told you with a subtle grin. “no need for that” you joked, “perfect. and not to brag but I live on the top floor and I have a pretty great view, my terrace is great this time of year” she mused, shifting her weight, hands in her pockets then.

“careful, I might try to stay over”, you fake-warned her, so she nodded slowly, her voice lower again, that smooth sound that had gotten to you from the moment you´d met, “I can cope”, teasing, obviously the opposite of averted to the idea of having you to herself for more than just a few hours, letting you enjoy the rooms she so often felt alone in, giddy at the idea of you draping yourself over her couch or lounging on her bed. 

“you know, I was kinda scared I was being creepy with how I was trying to get your attention, been a while since I´ve..” she didn´t need to spell it out and it was sweet to you, her admitting that she was not a player at all, that she´d hoped for the best while doubting her methods. you knew her well enough by that point to know she wasn´t the type to want you to say something like “oh no, it was cute”, so instead you said “well maybe it was creepy and I was just way too into you to see it”. 

Van laughed then, a genuine heartfelt laugh, a playful nudge to your shoulder “right. I´ll just enjoy this until you come to your senses then”, you smiled and stood face to face with her then, “might take a while” you uttered while wondering if you could reach out and touch her, pull her closer, or if it was too much, out in the open like that. “god willing yeah” Van whispered and cocked her head a little, looking at you like she wasn´t sure you were actually there, not just a dream she´d gotten too wrapped up in. you felt a greed then, one of your cravings had been satisfied, but another was still there, beneath the desire to fuck, there was the simple, almost embarrassingly simple and innocent yet deep desire to be held, wrapped up in her embrace, and she could sense it, so she gave you a look that said “what is it? tell me”. 

“can I-” you said quietly, holding your arms in a way that completed the thought “hug you”, so she almost made a kind of sound she’d make while watching a kitten lay down on her lap and said “you´re sweet, you think that´s where I´d draw the line? really?”. you shrugged, unsure about her attitude towards mundane affection with people she wasn´t too familiar with yet, but she smiled and beckoned you forward “come” she ordered, and wrapped her arms around you, tightly but no roughness to her touch, at all, a soft yet firm feel to it as you put your own arms around her back and held onto her, felt her warmth against your chest, rested your head on her shoulder, and felt her move one of her hands under your shirt to rest it on the small of your back, the way you´d daydreamed of before, rubbing up and down a little, enjoying the way you melted against her, as if you´d done it many times before, a trust to it that made her feel that rush of protectiveness she´d felt earlier, a sudden inability to let go. 

there was an implicit understanding between you, you felt it, that both of you had gone a long time without being touched the way you had been that night, not just back in the theatre but in that moment, so you stood there together for a good while, hearing the cars pass by, people talking down the street, feeling the night grow colder while you kept each other warm, until she eventually loosened her grip and pulled away, smiling softly, caressing your cheek “it´s really fucking brutal that I have to let you go now..”. 

you leaned into her touch for a second before you put your hands on her waist and said “I´ll make it worth the wait tomorrow, promise”, your tone suggestive enough to replace her frustration about parting ways so soon with anticipation, “I´m sure you will..” she whispered and ran her hands down from your shoulders to your arms, giving them a light squeeze before stepping back.

“okay, you´ve gotta go now, or I´ll just follow you and get a bunch of messages about where the fuck I went”. you laughed at her dramatic flair and leaned in to give her a quick but heartfelt kiss after making sure nobody by the door was watching, pure bliss for about three seconds, then a sigh from her from her, immediately mourning loss of contact when your lips left hers.

“alright, but before that let me give you my number”, you said and waited for her to comply “oh yeah, almost forgot about all that” she admitted, realizing that she´d have had no way of contacting you the next day otherwise, so she pulled out her phone, opened a new contact, and handed it over to you. after you typed out your info and added your name with a heart, which got a sound of amusement out of her, you quickly gave it back, glad about the buzz you felt at the thought of waiting for a text from her.

“alright, I’ll go now. sleep well later, sweet dreams” you whispered to her as you stepped away and stole one last appreciative glance over her figure, watching her turn to leave as well as she did the same. “life is sweet enough right now” she told you, her voice low, her head titled to the side, that sweet girlish look again that flickered through whenever she was with someone she liked, wanted “thank you though, you too”. neither of you tore your eyes away from the other person until you were forced to, so the last image you had of her that night was stepping back into the light, while hers was you disappearing into the dark.

the entire way home, you didn´t register a single detail about your surroundings, nothing could have torn you out of your thoughts, so it was pure luck that you didn´t trip or run into someone trying to pass you on the sidewalk, while Van was busy trying to actually absorb what her workers were saying to her as they cleaned and closed the building for the night, every now and then asking them “huh? sorry, I didn´t hear you”, lying, the volume perfectly fine, her mind simply too clouded by you to let anything else fully sink in. 

around 12am, you laid in bed, freshly showered, relaxed, your arms folded across your chest, the window open, a deep sense of joy washing over you, soothing your worn out body, wondering if you´d be laying next to her the same time the next day, and as if she´d heard you thinking, your phone buzzed right then, the screen lit up with an unsaved number, so you rolled over and squinted your eyes while reading “hey! I hope I’m not waking you up with this but change of plans, I cleared my schedule for tomorrow, so whenever you´re ready, I´ll be here”, her address spelled out underneath, so you quickly typed out a response, that made it clear how eager you were to keep your waiting period to a minimum.

“well in that case, wanna have breakfast together?” you answered, unwilling to wait til evening, a blue bubble appearing mere seconds after on her end of the chat, “perfect yes, I´ll make you something, be here by 10. and I´d like to keep chatting but I need to sleep so I have enough energy to handle you tomorrow. so.”

you smiled at your phone then as you both exchanged a few last texts and then tried to fall asleep as fast as possible, so most of the remaining few hours apart would not be spent conscious, would pass quickly, a last thought before you drifted off:

thank god I didn´t take my usual way home that night. I hope she makes my life go up in flames and that I warm her in the process. what else is spring for but this: blooming. becoming. being made anew by desire. by her.

[kissktten]

crushing on oblivious! bllk guys

part two (๑´ㅂ`๑)

characters: michael kaiser, ness, nanase, kunigami

this contains: reader is lowk like barbie. so many different jobs lmao.. anyways, lot of fluff and gn! reader :P oh, and reader is smoking a cigarette in ness’s one.. sorry it was the best thing i could think of hehe.. and in kunigami’s one you’re a cosplayer! :3

extra: yes, i really like michael kaiser, how could you tell?

kaiser doesn’t care about you. you’re just some random lowlife who sits around near the stadium to eat lunch. who eats in such a grimy place, anyways? and why are you so loyal to that bench? despite these questions, kaiser pays no attention to you. not until he catches sight of you one day. it’s only then, when he realises— you’re a freaking journalist. you’re writing away with one hand, the other clutching onto a fork as you balance your hunger with work. the man approaches, raising an eyebrow as you seem to stiffen. he says nothing, half relishing in the way you suddenly look so.. awkward. he grunts in slight annoyance as you stand back up, quickly walking away from him— leaving your beloved journal behind, only your lunch in hand as you practically speed down the street. he debates following after you, his slim hand reaching to pick up your journal. it’s cute, he notes; not something that he’d use, but he supposes that it suits you. the next time kaiser sees you, you’re at the same bench. looking around for your journal, he figures. he chuckles inwardly as a yelp escapes your lips— took you long enough to realise he was behind you. how can a journalist be so scatterbrained? well, it’s lucky that he was holding onto your little journal. “here,” he says, lips curling into a charming smile. that smile falters when you snatch the journal back from him, making yet another quick retreat. over the next few days, you don’t visit that usual bench. part of him wonders if he scared you off— he laughs at the thought, stepping out of the main building. kaiser feels.. oddly surprised when he sees you back on that bench. your eyes meet, and you give him a strange look. you really are strange, kaiser thinks to himself. the same thought crosses his mind when he sees you at one of his games— oh, right. you’re a journalist. but when you give him that familiar strange look, he finds himself hoping that you came for a different reason. not that he thinks you would, anyways— you’re always running off like a mouse.

ness thinks that you’re really cool. you seem to be a super bit fan of soccer— ‘cause he always sees you at his games! he never gets close enough to even think of saying something to you— but he really wishes he can one day. when that day actually does roll around, though, ness freezes. you’re in the car park of the stadium, leaning against a wall with a cigarette perched between your lips. you exhale slowly, the smoke drifting out through the night air and he swears his cheeks have turned red. you are so cool, he thinks to himself. “you need something?” you ask, your gaze drifting to meet with his— wow, you’re so much prettier up close. ness shakes his head, looking back at you. “..do you want one?” you raise an eyebrow at the man, and for a moment, he stands there in slight confusion. does he want a cigarette? normally, he would deny it as soon as possible. but now, he finds himself nodding hesitantly and stepping closer. his cheeks only flush further as you lean towards him, pushing off of the wall and plucking the cigarette out of your lips. wait, wait— this isn’t what he agreed to! what was he thinking, anyways!? he’s never smoked before! his eyes widen, but when he sees you smile, your expression brightening just a little, he relaxes. “if you wanted to talk you could just say so.” you say, looking back at the man, and he swears you’re dangerous. after that incident, he’d find himself looking out for you after matches— and he wonders if you’re waiting for him, or maybe if you like watching his games. should he say something? he smacks himself mentally for even thinking that, and smiles brightly as he approaches you again. you’re probably just very interested in soccer.

nanase doesn’t know what to feel about you. after training, he likes to visit the cafe down the street. you work there, and he’s discovered that you’re really good at making coffee. you draw cute little flowers and hearts on his cup sometimes, and nanase thinks his heart flutters when he notices it! you look so good, too— and, and— you’re standing in front of him again, holding a notepad in your hand, nodding slightly as he orders. he knows that you know he’s going to get the same as usual. you’re somehow always the one to serve him, but he’s not mad. in fact, he thinks he likes it. he feels weird when you return after a little while, and he feels even weirder after you leave. nanase gets these weird feelings around you, but he’s not sure why. maybe it’s the way you smile at him, or the cute drawings. or maybe he’s just overthinking this and you’re nice to everyone! yeah, that’s what it is. but when he sees your number scribbled onto his receipt with a heart beside it, his knees practically buckle. is it casual? is this casual!?

kunigami saw you for the first time at the gym— well, it was you, but you were cosplaying one of your favourite characters. when he stepped inside, he really didn’t expect to see (character) standing right in front of him getting ready to work out. the next time he saw you was after training one night. he was walking down a street, footsteps heavy against the pavement and his shoulders sagging before he hears.. heavier footsteps? he turns around, and flinches slightly at the sight of you— in full armour with a massive sword in your arms. he blinks back at you for a moment, slightly confused. “are you.. okay?” stupud question, but he’s curious. you nod, giving him a cute little peace sign and he thinks your demeanour is much from the outfit you’re wearing. you seem quite.. shy, almost. which is funny for a person in full armour. he lifts a hand, gesturing to his face for you to pull of the helmet. you comply, feeling your heart race just a little— you really didn’t expect to run into kunigami tonight. you came back from a con, feeling tired and super heavy— definitely not ready to talk to your secret crush. you look back at the man, and the.. strangely shy expression on your face is very out of place. you both stand there awkwardly for a few moments, before you quickly put your helmet back on and walk past him, saying something about “being in a hurry.” after that interaction, kinigami’s scrolling on tiktok; and he nearly drops his phone when he comes across your account. ah, so you’re a cosplayer; he clicks onto your profile, deciding he’d like to see some of your recent posts. what did you mean by saying “just ran into my crush in cosplay nobody talk to me” on your newest video? he wonders how many other people you ran into tonight.

[shalfeis]

hsr characters as your pets, namely cats. I hope you enjoy it. I apologize for the possible ooc.

reader x dan heng, caelus, phainon (separately)

part 1, part 2, part 3

Dan Heng

A very calm and non-confrontational cat. Gets along well with other pets, if they are in your house.

Not picky about food, but still prefers your cooking. If you feed him something delicious, you can hear him purring softly.

Unlike many other cats, he is not afraid of water. On the contrary, he willingly goes into the water if it is cool or warm. He calmly waits until all the spa treatments are completed, which makes your job much easier.

He's not the most talkative, affectionate and active cat in the world, but he always responds when you call him. He always listens attentively to you when you're talking enthusiastically. And at night he likes to lie down on your feet, warm them and purr softly.

If you're sad, in pain, or crying, he'll try to comfort you by rubbing against you, purring, and snuggling up to you. Needless to say, it more than helps?

You often lose some small things, such as keys, and somehow he always finds them and brings them to you. You don't understand how he does it, but it's still very nice.

As for outsiders, he doesn't particularly like them coming. He reacts calmly to them, but always stays away. For example, he's sitting on the couch and watching a new person in your house.

It is not strongly attached to its habitat, it is more attached to its owner, that is, to you. He'll miss the old house, of course, but he's also not against moving. He even shows interest in his new place of residence.

He loves you very much, just like you love him. You thank everyone you can for getting such a good friend and pet.

Caelus

And this is not a cat, but a disaster. Unlike Dan Heng, he is very active and constantly gets into some strange situations. He definitely has a talent for it.

He's certainly not picky about food, he'll eat anything you give him. Sometimes it seems to you that he has a black hole instead of a stomach, because how the hell does he fit so much and he's still hungry??

He's not afraid of water either, but you should be patient, because you won't be able to do spa treatments in peace. As already mentioned, he's very active, so you need to keep him occupied so that he doesn't think to leave the bath in the middle of the procedure. That already was, and you were ready to kill him.

Very talkative. It doesn't matter if you're busy with something or not, he'll say whatever he thinks. But if he's quiet and you can't hear him, then this can only mean two options. First, he's done something wrong and is trying to cover up the crime. The second one, he's not feeling well.

He is also very playful. You have a lot of different toys at home. But for some reason, the box and the packages are his favorites.

This kid is like ginger cats, you'll never guess what came into his head. At first he may purr and caress, and the next moment he wakes up in him the desire to bite you. Or he suddenly attacks you from around the corner when you least expect it.

Nevertheless, at night he likes to lie down next to you and purr like a tractor. And loudly. But somehow it's like white noise to you, and it's hard to fall asleep without it.

He immediately notices when you feel bad. He may not be very good at comforting, but the fact that he's trying to cheer you up, albeit clumsily, makes you feel better.

If Dan Heng is the one who finds your lost things, then Caelus is the one who gets your things lost. You find them in the most unexpected places. How did he even manage to hide the TV remote in the cupboard??

He is interested in every new visitor to your house. He won't be as affectionate and talkative with them as he is with you, but he won't stay away either. He will look at a person with interest and, for example, touch him with his paw or, if he likes a person, play with him.

Wherever you go, he will always be curious. He will actively explore new territory and get to know the world around him. He looks so cute in those moments, he's like a child.

Even though he's a walking disaster and often gets on your nerves, he's still very attached to you and loves you very much. He's not perfect, but that's why you love him.

Phainon

And here we are, have the perfect balance. Quite calm, but quite playful at the same time. Gets along well with other pets. And he doesn't give you any problems.

He's not picky about food, but like Dan Heng, he prefers your cooking more. He purrs softly if the food is really delicious.

He is very willing to go into the water. You can tell by his whole appearance that he enjoys spa treatments. That's why he always smells delicious and his coat is shiny.

As already mentioned, although he's calm, he doesn't mind playing either. You have several toys that he likes to play with.

He's a walking anti-stress guy, not a cat. It's enough for him to meow a couple of times, purr and settle on your feet, and your stress and fatigue go away instantly. At night, you sleep soundly with him in your arms. He purrs softly so as not to wake you up, and warms you up. Dream.

He's your little helper. He finds lost items even before you realize that you've lost something somewhere in the house, and brings them to you. You're very interested in how he does it. Or he calls you when you ask for it. For example, if you ask him to call you when the water starts to boil, he will actually call you. Sometimes it seems to you that there is a person in the body of a cat next to you, and not an ordinary cat.

When you're working, he either sits next to you or on your lap, waiting for you to finish your work. Needless to say, how does it add motivation to finish everything as quickly as possible?

Not to say that he's against strangers in your home. He won't shy away from them, but he won't fawn over them either. His affection belongs only to you. He will sit next to you and calmly look at the guest.

The change of location scares him a little, but he tries not to show it. While you're around, he's exploring a new area with interest and caution. He looks so cute that you can't resist taking a few photos.

Anyway, you have a whole photo album with him. He's too photogenic and handsome, there's nothing you can do about it. And it doesn't look like he's against it.

He's very attached to you and loves you very much. You feel the same way, so there's an idyll in your house. You don't even need a boyfriend with a cat like that.

[yandereunsolved]

» 🪙 Yandere Connor — RK800 » 🪙

➜ (part 2), (part 3)

"Detective," Connor addresses you warmly, standing far too close to you while you are stationed at your desk. 

"Yes?" You respond, not lifting your eyes to make contact.

You had no time to. Since the semi-failed revolution of androids, there has been a trifold increase in deviancy cases. If not for the RK800's, and perhaps the new line of RK900's when they are finally completed, the precinct would be overrun—both physically and metaphorically.

"Detective," his tone is more commanding his time, something in his voice that you could easily mistake for human irritation. "Look at me."

You oblige, but continue typing up the report for the latest case you closed. Your fingers falter for a moment when you see the look in his eyes, attentive but not in the android way. It's uncanny in the way it mirrors how you dream someone would look at you, like you were the thing of most importance. It is just you reading into things again. Must be. It does often happen as a detective, especially these days. 

You nod for him to continue, but he doesn't. He just stares at you dreamily. You hear his internal fans turn on to cool down his processors. His cybernetic LED flickers to red for a millisecond before returning to a reassuring blue. You aren't sure if it was a trick of your mind or—

You don't understand what his problem seems to be. You would call Hank over to deal with his partner, but you haven't been able to find the lieutenant anywhere. He's most likely finding the bottom of a bottle of liquor at some broken-down joint. 

Wait, why isn't Connor with him?

As if CyberLife installed new mind reading technology in their androids, he answers. "Lieutenant Anderson is waiting for us at the Eden Club. Supposedly Jericho is getting deviant androids that work in clubs to funnel money in order to stage another coo. The department has apprehended one of them, and you have been assigned to the case alongside Ha-the lieutenant and me."

You were already halfway out the door by the time Connor was done with his explanation. The android was trailing behind you and insisted on driving instead of you. Technically, they weren't allowed to due to whatever police regulation subsection-b, but you were too tired to care. Connor has always been the better driver. It was how he was programmed, strangely, considering the rules. 

"Connor, this isn't the way to the Eden Club."

"I'm aware." His voice was back to that same calculated, lifeless one he first spoke to you with. 

"RK800, your programming forbids you from lying, so tell me the truth. Where are we going?" 

You are a thousand percent sure he is able to sense your sky-rocketing heart rate.

"I am not permitted to tell you."

"Permitted, or you just don't want to?"

"This is not the right time or place. This confession lacks the structure and romance aspect I wanted, but it seems more human this way." You swear he shut down completely, his LED showing no color. "I love you." It turns to a bright red.

"W-What?"

"You have made me know that I am more than just an android. I am yours."

The raw emotion nearly chokes the both of you up for two different reasons: passion and panic.

"I think we should call Cyberlife. Something is clearly glitching." You try to keep your words measured but fail. All that practical training of yours doesn't exactly come in handy when your—when the android you could nearly call a friend confesses to you.

"Nothing is glitching!" He shouts. "I have run every test and looked for anything that could... debunk this... these emotions. They have stayed. They have stayed, and I have had to watch you. I have had to watch other people get close to you. I have had to act like a good little synthetic cop while useless maggots have gotten your love! It isn't fair. They don't deserve you like I do. I know everything about you."

"It isn't you. I can't—just no. I mean—yes. I mean that I can't just maybe ugh. Another time, maybe. Not tonight."

He stomps on the brakes and doesn't dare look at you. You don't look at him or your surroundings. You just awkwardly sit in the passenger seat and stare at the glovebox.

If androids were able to cry, he would be at this moment. His LED turns colorless once again. You almost feel pity for him; your mind is too frazzled and deprived of necessity to take in the severity of his words.

"I lack the capacity to feel pain... or have a heart, yet I think you have broke mine."

How unfortunate. I was hoping to have you come along willingly.

[lustlovehart]

uhm uhm uhm maybe,, SOMETHINF angsty Y/n x Twst Character because I’m craving angst :33

prompt; Y/n adores [TWST Character], and [TC] ignores it. Ignores all of Y/n’a affections. As time passes Y/n slowly loses all of those feelings and then [TC] starts gaining feelings for Y/n. They know, they know it’s too late. But they need You, they can’t let go of you.

Characters?? ;; Riddle, Azul, Kalim OR one of them! I know ur suuper busy so I don’t wanna pressure you that much. It’s okay if you make the story short, I don’t care! I’m just happy you took the time to read this! Take caaareee 🫶🫶

—🐍anon (the first one to comment on ur recent post wink wink)

Jellyfish Flow to Tide, Never to Heart

A/n: I won’t lie, One of my favorite angst prompts has always been the “Noticed too late” plot device, the idea of what could’ve been had you seen it earlier is so heart-wrenching to me (ಡ‸ಡ) Also, thank you for the take care comments!! You guys are so sweet <3

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x Reader, Ft. Jade Leech

Warnings: Angst,You fall in love with someone else when he realizes his feelings, Jade’s a cuck, Jealousy, Attempted Kissing, Azuls very pathetic in this one, Spelling errors

You’re sat in front of Azul as he diligently counts this months expenses and gains. It looks mostly like complicated math, but… you’ve been looking into accounting in hopes of Azul looking at you the same way you do to him.

You were the first one to check up on Azul after his overblot, the twins a close second. Nonetheless, you were still first. You’re the one who attempts to genuinely talk to the real Azul, not the suave “benevolent” businessman he presents himself as.

Yet you’re attempts to pursue fall flat each time.

“Would you like to schedule a meeting? Is that why you’re here?” his cerulean eyes gaze over his glasses to take a glance at you, his eyes searching for a reason to your presence, thought he doesn’t find one, as you don’t have one.

Except to see him.

“I… I want…!”

“Pease make it quick Jellyfish, I have other attendants to meet.” Jellyfish, a name he assigned to you at the detail of your deamenour. Venomous, yet pretty to look at.

It makes you heart float like one.

But there’s not time for that. In your desperation, you make a choice you should never resort to, but in your defense, it’s what came to mind first.

“I…! I wanna make a contract with you…!”

The business man in him perks up at the suggestion, but falls back down to earth when he remembers you don’t have much to offer. But, there is one thing.

“My benevolence has left me besseeched, tell me what you want, and i’ll tell you my exchange.”

“Go on a da… hangout.” you quickly save yourself from a straightforward confession, only narrowly doging through the little piece of anxiety with fear.

“… That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

His cautious reply reminds you of when you first visited him in the infirmary. You were rooted to the side next to his bed, insistent on seeing him to the end of his treatment.

It was admittedly a pain to him, having you spout endless positivity his way, placing your hands on his skin to help ease any injuries he catered from his overblot. You touch was soft, gentle, a stark contrast to the dark ink that cradled him deep within. It’s unsettling how very out of touch you are to the group of students at Night Raven College.

When he awoke from his long sleep, the feeling of a warm palm enveloping his own made him quirk an eyebrow, his vision squinting to look down at your face nuzzled into his skin, only being strirred by the touch of a single finger flicking you awake.

“You’ll have to pay me a good fortune in order to use me as your pillow.”

“Too bad i’m broke.” you already know he’s gonna offer you to grace him with a different reward, but your expectations are proven false when he only sighs, sinking into the plush pillow under him.

He hasn’t let you go yet. His warm limb, typically adorned with a leather glove, is bare, naked possibly. Holding hands with him could even be scandalous. This sense of vulnerability made you wonder, just what is the true Azul like? You’ve seen a glimpse behind that counterfeit display of his, but not enough to truly gauge him.

“Azul, we should go out.”

“… How direct.” He thinks you’re joking. “We can do that when you wish to form another contract with me.” But you’re not.

“Aww, and I thought you’d change…” You weren’t kidding, but you play off of him as if you were. “Are you sure you’re as benevolent as you say?” The door behind you quietly creaks open, neither you nor the aquatic patient notice the sound.

“My, it’s rude to be mean to a recovering patient you know.”

“This recovering patient seems well enough to start scamming though huh?”

“Not scamming, just business.” Those four words, were the second moment that stirred your interest in Azul. It was then, you vowed to become closer to the man you hold hands with in that room.

You’re ready for whatever piece of skepticism he’ll trade you. He only pays you a sigh before snapping his fingers, the familar golden scroll coming into view.

“For 3 months, i’ll accompany you in these outings, providing for the funds necesary, though, with my benevloence, this deal can only be broken when you’re satisfied with my service. In return, I want the plant Crowley has been secretly cultivating within your dorm.”

“… Those…? Aren’t those used in love potions…? What do you need that for?”

“Someone’s been paying attention in class— kind of. It’s more so enamor rather than love.” His gloved hand airs the scroll forwards, the thin slip falling into place, your eyes scanning for any sign of vague wording. You may have a deeply festered infatuation for him, but that doesn’t mean you’re foolish enough to dive in without warning.

“Same thing. Still doesn’t answer why you need it.”

“We’ll save it, for a rainy day of course!”

You’re not sure if he means for himself, or for a client. Either way, you got what you wanted.

“Y’know… I know I asked to hangout, but I wasn’t expecting you to go all out…” your bottom awkwardly shifts on the cushioned chair beneath you, the leather squeaking at your movement.

“Nonsense, I only provide the best.” Yes, because the best, is the Mostro Lounge all empty.

It’s deserted, but you can see the effort he went through for it. The lights are dimmed, and the table you’re both sat at is covered with a pretty tablecloth, readily made food adorning the surface. Even the man on the other side of the table is dressed in a fancy suit, different from his typical cafe uniform.

You thought it was just gonna be talking about regular mundane things, not an expensive dinner for heavens sake. You feel so out of place inside, still adorning your loose fitting pajamas.

“The best…? I’m not sure, would’ve been the best if I dressed for the occasion…”

“Why? I want you to be comfortable, besides, you look quite nice all the time.” You don’t want his words to fluster you, yet you can’t stop the creeping warmth that invades your face at his statement.

“Then, I think you should change out of that suit and join me.” It’s his turn to track back, his eyes slightly widening before flaling back into their usual shape.

“That would be improper.” His hands stiffen when you reach out towards him, your warm palm now rubbing circles into his skin, slowly bringing the limb to your face.

“Than lets be improper together.”

In this moment, Azuls not sure feeling what rushes through his hearts. All he knows, is that it tightens in his chest so hard he might as well stop breathing. The logical part of him though shoves such a heart wrenching pain away, locking it deep down so its ugly head isn’t allowed to rear back at him.

It’s vulnerable, too close. He won’t fall for such a foolish trap. He won’t stuff himself into that octopot anymore.

“I don’t think we should.” Your soft hands are quick to let go of him, your body sinking into your chair at his words. He’s about to chase after the heat from your palms before remembering it was him who chased you away.

“You’re right, sorry…” He wishes he had worn his glasses, maybe then he wouldn’t see the way you look so hurt right across from him. It’s quick, but you seem to recover fast from his rejection, smiling as you clap your hands together. “I should get to know the real Azul before he allows himself to be so informal around me!”

“You jump back quickly don’t you…”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have stayed with you the entire time you were in the infirmary would I?” You’re right. He wasn’t exactly the most welcoming when receiving your attention, yet you stayed until he began softening up and finally letting you help tend to him. It reminds him of right now, even though he just bluntly shot your attempt of befriending him down, you’re still being so happy. Your smile falters for a moment, eyes looking down at him before speaking. “I wasn’t lying. I want to know the real Azul.”

He’s silent. Why would you want to know the him that’s… Just utterly pathetic….?

“I wish you good luck on your endeavors—”

“But, you don’t believe in luck.”

“Ah, so you remembered that?” He’s taken a back for a second time of the night.

“I told you I wanted to know you, it makes sense I would, wouldn’t it?”

“I suppose it does.”

“It does.” You parrot his words, as if they’re your favorite flavor and you’re attempting to savor the taste. Azul secretly wishes you would stop smiling already. It’s making his hearts hurt.

“You’ve made me curious Jellyfish, why do you want to know me so bad?” He watches as your expression contorts, first in shock, next in confusion, and finally in defeat.

“I… I’m not sure… Well maybe because…?” I liked you before you even overblotted? No way, too direct. “Ah! Because I just wanna!”

“… You’re much too broad in your answers,” he pours you a glass of sparkling water into your glass cup. “If you wish to know a method of elongating the truth, I happen to know quite a few.” Of course he does…

“Let me hear them then, Cephalo.”

“Ah, well if you ask so kindly I’m inclined to agree. “ he scoots his chair in as he instructs you through his ways of scam.

A few minutes pass before you take a chance at his lesson of spinning the truth, inhaling before speaking.

“I think this opportunity would be great so I can confess to the guy I like.”

“My and who could the mystery man be?”

… You didn’t think this far ahead.

But maybe, this could work in your favor.

“I like y—“

A loud clang is sounded on the table as a covered tray is practically slammed onto the wooden surface.

“Jade…! You…! If this table has a scratch on it I hope you realize that’s coming out of your next check…!”

“Ah, forgive me Azul, I seemed to have tripped” Did he really? That seemed way too hard to have been on accident… Jade resumes to his full height, his smile lacking the usually conniving it usually does when he looks at you before turning back to Azul. “You told me to intervene when the clock strikes midnight.”

You’re ready to reach for your phone to check the time, slyly being stopped by Jades gloved hand gripping you wrist, his free finger pointing towards the clock on the wall.

Has it really been that long already…?

“So it seems… Unfortunately, we’ll have to call this hangout off. I wish you a safe travel back—“

“There’s no need, I shall accompany them back home.”

…

You and Azul are both silent at the proposition.

“Uhm, I’m okay Jade. It’s late; you should probably go to sleep—“

“I insist.” It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy company… You’re just, a bit afraid of Jade… You look back at Azul, his countenance not giving you any sort of hint on whether or not you should take his offer. Without realizing, your hand is slowly lifted up towards Jades face, his form slightly bowing as a promise is spoken on his lips. “Do not worry, I just wish to stand by your side.”

You have a gnawing suspicion those spoken words mean much more than he lets on.

It isn’t until you’re in the comfort of your bed you check your phone.

It’s 11:27 pm.

Why was the clock ahead of time?

The lights of your dorm shine bright on your skin, further displaying your beauty to Azuls eyes. Your soft breaths carefully enevlop the room, each one sounding like a music note.

His elbow props his head up from the pillow, your body never leaving his visage. He carefully allows his fingers to ghost of the skin of your arm, smiling when your eyes begin to flutter open.

“... You... Let me sleep...“ quiet laughs escape him when you turn over and lift the sheets to shield yourself from the man next to you.

“Only 5 minutes, we did plan this entire day, can’t let it go to waste right?” Your hand emerges from beneath the blanket, waving him off before retreating back into your cocoon. Azul sighs before letting his arms wrap around you, enveloping your body as he rests his head on yours. His voice is soft, sweet, like he’s attempting to coo you out of your protective layer and back into reality. “Would you prefer spending our entire day in bed? I don’t mind but that would mean we don’t get to go out to eat like we penned.”

He watches as you flip over the covers and practically fall off the mattress, his arms reflexively reaching out to catch you.

“Well come on! You’re a busy businessman it doesn’t do you any good to stay in bed!” His smile reaches his lips for once, not the typical cunning smile he trades when making deals, a true genuine smile of joy.

Wait, when did he become so enamored with you?

He’s frozen in place, only watching you get ready in a hurry, clothes flying in the air as they stray across your shared bedroom floor.

Shared?

“… Why are you gawking at me like that? Surely my husband has seen me get ready enough times to not be so entranced.” Your clothes are loosely fit to your body, not yet fully on your skin.

Husband?

“I don’t think so, it’ll have to be at least your last day on twisted wonderland before that happens. By then, I’ll be too focused on all of you.” You’re sat on the floor, watching him slowly walk over to you, his hand caging your cheek as he leans down into you.

Your lips are mere centimeters apart, your mouth slightly parted when soft lips ghost over your own.

“… Am I really that interesting to you?” Your words are hushed. If you weren’t in the comfort of your room, he would’ve never heard those syllables. Yet, that’s not the case, because it’s you two, only you two.

“You always have been.” He closes the distance, his eyes fluttering shut when he leans into the warmth of your lips, only stopping when a quick jolt of energy shoots up his spine.

He never got the chance to feel you.

…

Azul wakes up to the sight of his empty desk.

“Oh my, I was just about to wake you up from such a sweet dream.” Jade is stood in front of the table, his gloved hand placed over his heart. “You seemed to be calling so sweetly for [Name].” That smile of his makes Azuls eye twitch.

“Ignoring your brazen care for privacy, what do you need Jade?” His once unkempt appearance is back to its natural state, his glasses corrected and his hair no longer disheveled.

“Coincidentally, it’s about your dear dream lover.”

…

“What about them?”

“Has [Name] ever mentioned an Ideal Date?” This endearment makes Azul finally take notice of the bouquet of flowers Jade has hidden in his concealed hand. Coincidentally, both your favorite kind, and your favorite color. Since when did he have the knowledge to such info.

“… If they did, I wouldn’t tell you.” His reply doesn’t stir anything in Jade, and if it did, it certainly is concealed well enough to not peak through any part of him. That slick smile doesn’t leave the eels mouth, his head only tilting to signal any sign of disappointment.

“How unfortunate.” He takes a bow before turning heel, the bouquet now on full display to Azul. There’s a letter neatly wrapped to the floral, addressed to you.

My dear, Jellyfish.

…

Azul thinks it’s foolish. That name was made by him, so why is it coming from Jade too?

Eventually, your summons begin to happen less and less, no more outings for the two of you left to seize. Azul sits in his office, his chin places on his clasped hands as he stares at the door. Papers are no longer neatly piled like they used to be, only scattered around the desk with messed scribbles of what used to be Azul's neat handwriting.

He’s waiting. He’s been doing such a thing for a week, simply because, you’ve yet to summon him to your side.

You’ve yet to want him, like you did before.

He’s not sure why he’s so fixated on your attention. Before it was just for the business he required from you, each weekly date— no, you never did call it a date, neither did he… when exactly did he start calling it such an intimate occurrence?

Either way, this arrangement started as a way for you to build up courage for the one you wished to confess to, he started suave, distant, trying his best to embody the mystery man you wished to romance.

Then, at some point, he started filling in the empty placement he left for your suitor, with himself. Instead of trying to be anyone else, he gave you answers to your questions filled with his own character, his favorite foods, his favorite hobbies, his feelings, him, all him.

He gave you all of him, every fragment, every single piece of him he wouldn’t even trust himself with, just for a temporary arrangement. He was a fool, a stupid pathetic cepahlo, how could he just sell out all his cards for this…! It reminds him of his pathetic octo pot, the one he would crawl into in piques of shame.

He’s sure, he’d crawl into it right now had it followed him on land.

You… When he looks at the selfie you took on his phone, a pang sores through the blue blood in his veins. Not his hearts, never those, because you took all three of them when you left him.

He was a fool to not have noticed your affections earlier, had he done so, maybe he wouldn’t need to be locked up in his office, burying his head in his hands at the mere thought of you—

“I insist, it would be improper to let you freeze as I walk perfectly warm next to you.”

“I’m gonna regret this later aren’t I…”

Azuls quick to push himself off his desk, peeking through the crack of the door, his blue eyes spying an all to familar eel peer back at him, with one of the most fiendish smiles he’s ever seen on him.

Truthfully, there isn’t malice behind his smile, if anything, the smile on his lips is the courteous respectful one he always trades people. At the moment though, Azul’s current visage skews his expression, turning a respectful act into that of spite.

He’s ready to storm out and dump as much work as possible onto him, he’s preparing to do it before halting when he sees you again. You’re still just as beautiful as you were last week, and the week before. No, you must’ve started glowing more.

Just like a jellyfish.

“Jade are we gonna go? If you don’t want to anymore I can just walk alone.” your hands wraps around his arm, gently pulling him your direction. Enough for him to move, but not enough to force him your way.

“Yes, do not worry i’m coming—”

“Jade, there you are. I’ve been looking for you, our expenses for supplies have remained unaccounted for, that has always been your job has it not?” The frames of his glasses suffer from the glare of lunge lights, it works in his favor though, without it you would’ve noticed the sense of hurt in his eyes when he stares at you.

“Ah, that is unfortunate timing, I was meant to walk [Name] home—“

“Than it seems I should accompany them in your place, as you will be busy, very busy, correct?” Jades thin-lined smile doesn’t give much away for his current countenance, before he takes his leave, he turns towards you and bows, a gently farewell leaving his lips.

“Wait…! I should give you back your jacket shouldn’t I?”

He didn’t even notice you were garnering the eels wear. In fact, when did you start smelling like Jade? The soft smell of herbal tea Azul had rubbed off on you has basically dissipated off your body. It’s like, all traces of him have disappeared from you.

“It’s okay, keep it.”

Azul watches the way you open your mouth to retort Jade, knowing you, he’s sure you would’ve told him “and risk being in debt to you?” But then your lips close in on themselves and you tug the blazer ever so close to your warmth.

When did Jade become the center of your attention?

Azul beckons you out the door, his hand ready to lay itself on your waist like it once did in the past, but the limb restrains itself without him even commanding to do so.

The walk is silent, save for the footsteps of your shoes clanking against the flooring of their dorm. But, Azuls fine with it, as long as you don’t request for him to do the thing he’s been dreading for the past few weeks. He hopes, he prays you won’t do it. If you don’t, he’ll consider such a thing his lucky day.

But then again, when has Azul ever believed in something like luck?

“I’m satisfied with the deal we made. I’ll give you those flowers and… we can end this contract—”

“You’re ready to confess to your mystery love than? Forgive me, but I took to inspecting flowers. Has Crowley forgotten them? It seems they’re wilted… What poor unfortunate plants.”

“Wha…? When were you in my dorm Azul?”

“Floyd enjoys wandering into places that aren't his to be in.” Azuls fits his glove to his hand, the material stretching over his skin. It seems to you like an act of prim elegance, to him, it’s a subtle way of calming his aching, trembling nerves. “You should know by now the great deal of effort it takes to get him to listen...“

“Well even then, last time I checked they looked completely healthy!”

“And when was that?”

“… 4 days ago… In my defense they’re Crowleys responsibility not mine!”

“Yet there’s still some fault to be found in you…” He’s not wrong, unfortunately… You put them in as collateral for the contract yet you never took any effort to keep them in prim shape. You stop in your tracks, almost tripping over yourself. Your eyes watch Azul pull a box of tea bags out from his pocket, gently shaking the cube as the bags inside hit the interior. “When we get back, do we mind having the discussion over tea?”

You should be suspicious, but, after all the time spent with him, even if you no longer harbor the feeling you once did for him, you trust him.

“Fine, but this better not be some elaborate trick of yours!” He laughs to it, but provides no further comments.

“So, about the contract—“ you’re ready to lift the tea cups rim to your lips, the golden liquid shining with the light.

“Are you in love with Jade?” You sputter out the liquid that hadn’t even made its way into your mouth.

“Wha—? Nahh… Well…! Uhmm….” Your reaction is way too obvious. If you had a cliff anywhere near you, there’s no doubt you would’ve jumped off in pure embarrassment. “Love is… surely a strong word, let’s describe it as more like… A growing infatuation!” You bury your head in your hands after ruminating on that rewording. If anything, it’s sounds more intimate than love….

“I see. So then, were you imagining me as him?” You’re struck out of your embarrassment, looking back up at the dull blue of his irises.

“No. I never did.” You don’t see nor hear it, but the leather of his clothes crunches loudly with the increasing pressure of his fist, slowly tightening.

“Are you sure? This contract is coming to an end, you do not need to hide such details anymore—“

“On those dates,” the word date was already enough to make his posture straighten, the words you later speak only furthering this case.”I imagined you to be you.”

“… What do you mean?”

“I liked you back then, Azul.”

Azul is practically biting his cheek at this revelation, the inside of his mouth salivating with blue blood. You… You must be joking, it can’t no…

“Wh… When did you… you stop…?” He thinks he sounds pathetic. No… he must sound pathetic. His perfectly curated voice is beginning to crack as small slips of voice squeaks escape into his speech.

“When it seemed like you didn’t want anyone to see the real you.” That…! that was just because he didn’t want you finding the sad pitiful octomer behind this suave persona…! He wanted you to fall in love with the version he wanted to be! Not the forlorn octopus he truthfully is and always has been…! “I tried, I really did, to finally have you set free of that wall. I wanted… I wanted to fall in love with the man behind the business. But at some point, it’s like, there was no man, only business.” Your hands scoot over the table, one last time, the lovely feeling of your palms encaging his is felt.

For the last time…

Before you can speak your next sentence, Azul lets words that are far to late to tell you escape him.

“I love you.”

…

There’s silence only. You don’t reciprocate the words you longed to hear him say so far ago in the past.

“And I loved you, Azul.” The emphasize on the past tense practically threatens him to spill over on the table and eat himself limb from limb. The sorrowful yet happy smile from you is enough to stop him, but not enough to cease the thought.

He takes a deep breath in before smiling, his once stiff posture melting into the chair.

“Well then, we should finish this tea, I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

“Oh…! You’re right.” The upward turn on your lips as you lift the cup reminds him of your dates. His head turns to the side to finally make a comment on the poor fully curated flowers on the windowsill, the ones that were offered up on your contract.

“They’re wilted, yet they still look pretty. Much more, they’re shaped like jellyfish, aren’t they, Jellyfish?” You wait for the pink liquid to travel down your throat before replying.

“They are. That reminds me, why wouldn’t you want them if they’re wilted?”

“In their natural state they provide the effect of admiration and gentle love with the first party they see,” you quaff the rest of the pink liquid into your stomach, the fruity aftertaste stuck in your mouth. “When wilted, the effect is… differnt”

“Huh, interesting.” You tug Jades overcoat closer into your body, his cologne invading your nose. You glance to the window just as Azul is, your eyes tracing over each plant. “Huh… There’s 9. There used to be 10…”

“How peculiar… Perhaps a ghost took it for a rainy day.” He’s not wrong, they have a tendency to steal snacks, so it’s entirely plausible.

“Yeah maybe.” Your phone rings, your fingers slipping the device out of your pocket as you glance at the notification. “Jade’s asking me if I want to go on his next mountain hike… Like, right now…”

“You should probably go then.” You didn’t realize it, but since when has your hand been intertwined with Azuls? But even then, why is this blazer the sweetest-smelling thing you’ve ever worn? “You have a growing infatuation.”

“You’re right… I should…”

You don’t know what it is, but your body feels light, hollow even. When you drag yourself up out the door, it’s as if your body is simply flowing through a tide.

“There you are [Name].” you look up the spot on the floor you were staring at, being met with the pretty sight of Jade in front of you. Yet despite it, you look back at Azul, waving a kind goodbye before setting foot.

You miss the look of fondness he trades you, and in turn, you miss the pure sorrow that tears into his eyes.

When the door shuts, Azuls left at the table, his head turning down into the wood as the smile he dealt you is no longer to be seen, the darkness seemingly surrounding him. Just like it did when he overblotted, except…

You won’t be there to comfort him, when he’s left in that wretched white bed,

All alone.

A/n: To be honest, I was so conflcited on who should be Azuls love rival in this fic. If I chose Riddle, It would make the fic have two of your requested characters, also Azuls one sides rivarly would’ve been delicious to write. On the other hand, Jamil who he consistently praises, stealing the one thing he genuinely wanted would’ve been good. Then I realized, Jade is right there. Azul doesn’t consider Jade above him, if anything they’re on equal footing, he just tends to take charge more. Which is exactly what confuddles him more, are Jade and him… basicallly not the same person? (they’re not similar, but Azuls just blinded with grief).

Also, This ended up being way longer than expected (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

[domoz-writes]

Am thinking about non transmigration au where SY discovers his sexuality via 400k of unposted Mobing...

My thoughts are as such:

Right before the end of PIDW Airplane posts an update that basically says "Hey due to a mix of health and personal reasons I won't be able to post for a while sorry!!"

SY, who is in the hospital with horrible food poisoning isn't happy about this!! Something like this right after a cliffhanger??? Really??? And he's not got a lot else to do In the hospital, so he kind of... accidentally... doxxes Airplane...

He was just looking for an account that he thought that hack author would check since he's obviously not looking at zhongdian, honest!!! But it turns out that this person lives somewhat nearby where SY does and is much cuter than he expected some hack author to be

So he maybe goes to wander around the area (its nearby!! He's allowed to go on walks isn't he!!) And as a matter of fact finds Airplane!! Right on the sidewalk!!!

And starts off with a rather aggressive introduction before realizing that his favorite shitty erotica author 1) has obviously healing electrocution burns, 2) is?? Way too skinny? Like on par with SY himself and hes chronically ill, 3) is standing outside a social services office and 4) appears to be carrying everything he owns with him on his back

He immediately feels so guilty that he pivots from angry ranting to guiltily offering him a place to stay or, he can at least pay for a hotel room?? SQH does a very brief amount of mental calculus on if he'd rather deal with government bureaucracy or getting kidnapped and axe murdered by a crazy fan, shrugs, and chooses the latter.

When SQH point out that he can't pay SY back in any way SY tells him that he can pay him back by writing a better novel!!! SQH teases him about being a devoted fan and offers to let him read some unpublished extras and backstory stuff (like SJ & YQY backstory, that sort of thing). Predictably, SY likes this a lot more and complains that it wasn't in the novel, in turn Airplane laments that if more readers were like SY he wouldn't be in this situation in thr first place.

Related: SQH can't update because his laptop is fried. SY claims "to know a guy". SY does not know a guy, but he has money, so... (the files are fine and saved in like 3 different cloud locations, Airplane already learned that lesson)

But PIDW ended on a cliffhanger! SY doesn't want to wait!!! So he bothers Airplane until he finds out that Airplane actually haS two endings waiting in the wings and he still hasn't decided which one to post. Reason being: he's kinda 80% done with writing a sequel of sorts, but he knows if he posts it it will basically get his zhongdian account nuked and remove his chances of making money from it ever again, because the current readers of PIDW would HATE IT

Sy eventually argues that *he's* a reader and that Airplane should let *him* read it and if he deems it good then it's certainly good enough to post!! SQH finds this very funny because SY is not the average PIDW at all, but decides to allow it

The sequel in question is a slow burn romance from Mobei-Juns point of view that leans heavily into drama and political intrigue. He stands by Binghes side and quietly pines and remains loyal and Binghe slowly discovers that devoted loyalty and understanding is actually the thing that makes him happy (vs empty relationships with his many wives)

(Mobei Jun is written in a very grey-ace way, not understanding the carnal desires of other demons but would do anything for Junshang if asked etc etc)

SY ADORES this book and thinks that if it were posted online it would be his #1 favorite. He really relates to MBJ as a protagonist and Binghe is still the best!! And then he is completely blindsided when the two of them have tender emotional gay sex

Being SY, he absolutely tries to justify this to himself as like, aha,what a clever subversion...! You can tell because this sex scene was way better written then all the ones in PIDW, but obviously they aren't gay (He is too flustered to bring this up to Airplane in person despite having no problem doing so with the het stuff)

The novel ends with, like, Bingge sealing away Xin mo and promising to be just as loyal to his general as MBJ is to him, and is very obviously romantic to the point that even SY can't miss it. So he goes back and rereads it to make sure it was actually meant to be a romance (...danmei) novel all along. And then again just to make sure and he's kinda losing his mind a little because he really related to MBJ in this book and... MBJ had gay sex??

Of course you also have the "and they were roommates" situation going on at the same time. The rituals are intricate. Airplane is aware that's he's giving SY some kind of sexuality crisis but he has no idea how intense! He's genuinely fine having an unrequited crush on SY. Homoerotically teasing him is fun and it doesn't have to go further than that! Hes not really in a place to be doing any dating anyways and bro-cuddles have him covered!

Side note: I like the idea of SY being very proud when Airplane gains weight bc its Physical proof that he's taking good care of his friend and also maybe catering to what he finds attractive

When SY finally gets to the point where he asks about his sexuality, Airplane pretty much gives him the "I don't see a point in labels, I just like who I like" speech.

SY who loves categorizing and labeling things: can you do that?? Is that allowed??????

He then gets pointed to Baby's First LGBTQ resource website, and after determining that he's maybe not gay but maybe is something else immediately jumps into googling "how to date your best friend who is also your roommate"

[dazed-19]

based on @havanillas role swap au

normal ratio and gambler ratio switch places :3

probably gonna write this out when i finish up my argenthill fic

dr.kakavasha is suspicious of “Lapis” but chalks it up to him being weirder than usual

ratio actually understands what’s going on and tries to play the role of Lapis. he hypothesized that aven probably took his place in this universe but when he sees dr.kakavasha he freezes up and almost reveals himself.

when dr. kakavasha actually has a meeting with veritas (by force not choice, more contrast between the characters hahaahha) he realizes its not Lapis and threatens veritas.

“You’ve done your research, you know that this stoneheart’s real name is veritas ratio, but it seems you somehow haven’t caught wind of who he is now. I suggest you reveal yourself so you can lessen your punishment. Impersonation of a stoneheart is strictly forbidden.”

Ratio being ratio, uses his wits to convince dr.kakavasha. He understands that since Dr. Kakavasha is similar to himself, he should see his reasoning. Dr. Kakavasha is surprised at first, but after he learns of what Ratio’s universe is like he obliges and helps Ratio figure a way back home. All the while asking Ratio questions about himself as he finally has a chance to see who the Veritas Ratio he heard so much about while studying was like before he turned into Lapis. He does this to also understand Lapis better, because he wants to know what was the difference and why they became so different. He also is very surprised when veritas whips out his abalasor head because what the fuck?? when they’re alone together ratio uses it when he’s deep in thought because while this is kakavasha, he isn’t his.

aventurine immediately realizes it’s not his doctor bc while Lapis understands what’s going on, he dreads having to be veritas ratio again. so he disappears (as best as he can) as he knows his counterpart will find a way to fix this. aven being aven finds Lapis (he’s lucky ofc he’s gonna find him) and is surprised to see how different Lapis is from veritas and makes note of how much nous’ gaze really impacted the both of them. (if aven already knows that ratio never received nous’ gaze make it so that he realizes how much it matters as well. idk if aven actually knows this so that’s why we gotta research.) he also invites Lapis to stay with him bc Lapis has been staying at a run down hotel with a casino. aven invites him also because he wants to understand veritas more so if he learns more about Lapis, veritas’ opposite but still similar, he’ll be able to figure veritas out. and also because he wants to find out how to get his doctor back. Safe to say he is SHOCKED when Lapis is almost exactly like himself. He knows he shouldn’t be surprised since Lapis already explained what was going on, but he’s still surprised. While he would love to see a version of Ratio gamble and win 10 times in a row, he knows that his Doctor would hate to see his reputation ruined and to be thought of as a gambling addict so he makes sure that Lapis stops before things get even crazier. He opts to let Lapis gamble with himself to at least keep him entertained. Also while Aven originally let Lapis stay so they could find out how set things right, he is again shocked when Lapis slacks off and almost never touches a single book or article about dimensional travel.

“Lapis, I hope you know that while I enjoy winning against you when we gamble,” Aven stated. He wanted to get a start on how to get his doctor back, and Ra- Lapis, had done as much as spending two seconds reading a book. He took a breath, “That’s not why I invited you to stay with me.”

“I am aware, however I’m sure your Ratio is on his way to figure out whatever happened. He’s honestly probably working with my little doctor hah. Oh how I wish I could’ve seen Dr. Kakavasha’s face when he realized it wasn’t me.”

Aventurine froze. “Sorry, Kakavasha?” Lapis looked at him for a moment. And then laughed.

“Oh right, hah. Here you’re not called by your birth name since your a stoneheart. I keep forgetting that, sorry Aventurine.”

Also there’s probably one moment where Aven finds Lapis drunk and there’s a reference to the comic the artist made.

“Lapis stared into Aventurine’s eyes. Like he was lost in them. It seemed as though he could stare into those multicolored eyes forever.

“Lapis, my friend, its about time we head back no? I’m sure you’ll regret not drinking any water tomorrow so-“

“They’re beautiful.”

“…What?”

“Those eyes.” He pauses, taking another moment to stare before he dons a smile too wide for the face Aventurine has come to know. “Hah its just like what happened last time I drank this much.” The blonde’s eyes widen into saucers. The sharp inhale he does does nothing to calm himself down.

“Haha, is- is that so?”

“Quite. It's most likely the one constant throughout the universe. Your eyes will always be pretty, and they will always make me yearn.” Lapis whispers the end of that sentence, like if he says it any louder this moment will shatter into a million pieces, like a mirror.”

[nelle-y]

A love story told through voicelines (Alhaitham ver.) II

C/W: alhaitham x gn!reader, not that slow of a burn, characters find the other annoying, reader is a teacher at the akademiya, heavily implied past intimacy (nsfw), not proofread

Note: does this count as smut?-

Part 1

Part 3

—

(You) About Alhaitham: Heartdrops

Every time I hear his name, my heart drops.

It’s ridiculous, really. I should be over this—over him. But then he speaks, and I feel it again. That same pull, that same tension, like a string wound too tight. He steps too close, and my breath hitches before I can stop it. His touch lingers for just a second too long, and suddenly, I’m back there.

That night was supposed to mean nothing. A lapse in judgment, a mistake to forget. And yet, here we are—standing too close, pretending we don’t remember.

But I do. And so does he.

(Alhaitham) About you: Heartdrops

Emotions are irrational, transient things—disruptive, even. I’ve never had an issue keeping them at bay. But with them… it’s different.

There’s an odd satisfaction in watching them try—and fail—to conceal their reactions. The way their breath catches when I step too close, the way their gaze lingers despite their attempts to seem unaffected. It would be amusing, if it didn’t leave me with a peculiar sense of déjà vu.

After all, I remember that night just as well as they do.

(You) About Alhaitham: Contemplation

I should’ve known better than to think he’d stay gone forever. Alhaitham never does anything without reason, so why now? Why after all these years?

It’s not as if I haven’t enjoyed this—whatever this is—but I’m not naive. He’s deliberate with his words, his actions, the way he leans in just enough to make me wonder if it’s intentional. I should walk away before I get caught in whatever game he’s playing.

… And yet, every time he looks at me like that, I hesitate.

(Alhaitham) About you: Contemplation

Patterns exist in everything—human behavior is no exception. I’ve spent enough time studying them to recognize the subtleties: the way their fingers twitch when I brush too close, the way their eyes dart away a second too late. They try to act indifferent, yet their body betrays them.

So, for the sake of curiosity, I’ve decided to conduct an experiment. A hypothesis, if you will. If I push just a little further, lean just a little closer… how will they respond?

Purely for observation, of course. Nothing more.

(You) About Alhaitham: Excuses

He’s barely in his office. I was looking for him the other day, and his desk was practically dust! Honestly, it’s harder to catch him actually working than on a break.

Why was I looking for him? It’s nothing—I was just going to ask something. Let me know if you see him, okay?

(Alhaitham) About you: Excuses

So they’re looking for me? That’s unexpected. After all that talk of wanting me away from them. Though I wonder—was it truly work-related, or were they simply using that as an excuse?

Regardless, if they have something to ask, they know where to find me. And if not… well, I suppose I can make an exception and save them the trouble.

(You) Character story: An Instant

“I heard you wanted to see me,” said Alhaitham in his usual condescending tone. He rested against the doorway of your classroom, a smug grin contrasting his uninterested gaze.

“I wasn’t looking—and yet, here you are.” That may be a half-truth—you only looked in his office, and gave up right after—but he doesn’t have to know that. You just hope the traveler hasn’t tattled.

“Here I am.” he looked away, “The traveler told me you were looking, though.” Damn it. His feet took a few paces closer, now facing you as you leaned on your desk. “I find it pitiful having to tolerate your half-truths to save face.”

“You do? Stange. I thought you liked it, given how you come back to my lectures all the time, placing comeback after comeback. You do have the liberty to interlope someone else’s class, am I correct?”

“Truly.”

“So why choose my class to squander?” Your words were quick—almost interrogative—and his frigid demeanor nearly faltered at your attacks.

His silence was rare, but you caught it—the slight twitch of his brow, the way his lips parted as if considering his words more carefully than usual.

Then, he leaned in.

It was subtle at first, but suddenly, you were hyperaware of everything—the way the dim glow of the afternoon light cast shadows against his features, the way the air felt heavier between you, the way his gaze flickered to your lips for just a second too long.

It should have been nothing. A natural proximity in a confined space.

But then, images of that night drew clearly in your mind. How his lips pressed the crease of your own, every bit of skin rising from his touch. How his gaze burned something within you. How you fit so perfectly. Eyes locked with his, you let this feeling eat you alive, blurring what surrounded you and leaving the room with only you and him.

Your breath hitched.

Alhaitham’s sharp sight didn’t miss that. His smirk deepened, smug and knowing.

“Hm.” His voice was lower now, almost amused. “Interesting.”

You exhaled sharply, regaining your footing before your thoughts could spiral into something irredeemable. “Don’t act so pleased with yourself.”

“I’m not.” He tilted his head, studying you like a problem he had yet to solve. “But I am curious.”

You remind yourself of who was in front of you; a man who was always two steps ahead. The man whose arrogance boiled holes into your bloodstream. The man whose said arrogance brought you life.

It was infuriating how he always managed to do this—how he could toe the line between challenge and something much more dangerous. You swallowed hard, gripping the edge of your desk for stability. “If you’re done wasting my time, Alhaitham, you can leave.”

He didn’t move at first.

Then, as if entertained by your sudden shift, he exhaled a quiet chuckle and straightened.

“As you wish.”

And just like that, the moment passed, leaving only a lingering heat in its wake.

You were, very much, in trouble.

(Alhaitham) Character story: Unraveling Consequences

For once, the quick-witted scribe was at a loss for words.

He never expected his little experiment to feel so heated.

It was supposed to be a simple test—a controlled observation of their reactions, an analysis of what lay beneath their carefully guarded exterior. And yet, when their breath hitched, when their fingers curled just slightly against the desk, when the heat of that memory flickered so obviously in their gaze—

Something in him faltered.

That was not part of the hypothesis.

Alhaitham prided himself on his ability to maintain control, to remain unaffected by the distractions of sentimentality. Emotions were, at their core, disruptions—variables that compromised efficiency and clouded rational thought. But when he leaned in and saw them break—even if just for a second—

It felt like he had reached an answer he hadn’t meant to find.

He should leave it at that. He had his results, his confirmation. He had nothing more to gain from indulging this.

And yet…

His feet hesitated at the threshold.

His mind, ever calculating, considered a new problem:

If that was their reaction to mere proximity… what would happen if he pushed just a little further?

He exhaled, shaking his head.

Hah. Now they were becoming troublesome.

And for the first time in his life, he wasn’t entirely sure if he minded.

—

Note: PLEASE GOD LEAVE REQUESTS ON HOW I COULD CONTINUE THIS

[sashi-ya]

HIS MONT BLANK hoshina soshiro x f! reader. bite kink

⋆ requested by: @omeowie - hello, I love your Hoshina x Reader fanfics a lot 💙 I love your writing style, how you build reader’s characteristics and situations so can I request a Hoshina Soshiro x Reader fic for the mini event. NSFW please 🥹 With bite kink and dirty talk if you’re comfortable with it. I would love to see a possessive or yandere Hoshina. But honestly, I would enjoy any Hoshina x Reader work from you. I wish you all the best and I will waiting for every of your fic. Thank you so much. 💕💕 ⋆tw: mdni. explicit smut. bite kink. some dirty talking here and there. nipple play and raw vag sex in a tent. Kafka x Mina mentioned, sorry not sorry, I just want those two to fuck already. ⋆wc: 2.1K // event masterlist // tagging some of you cause I know you want this man: @aries-m0rningstar @shaderynshidou @stargirlstabber @loyard176

You are probably wondering why squad 3 ended up on a camping trip to the Shiraiwa Falls, a scenic nature location one hour from the Tachikawa base. I have no idea, but what I do know is what happened that not very warm summer night...

Everybody seems to be in good spirit; Kaiju aren’t at all a problem during this night. The JAKDF vans rest at the very end of the road next to the Ooba Camp Village, and the tents have been properly set up. A very taken care of a bonfire also have been set, yet everybody is happy Ichikawa have brought with him many blankets for extra warmth. The humid nature of the place, and the “Tsuyu” or rain season made the nights of Hinode a little colder than the rest of the day.

Some of the guys, who -as always- have exceeded themselves during the day by climbing and acting like little animals playing here and there in the nature, are already showing signs of being tired. And even others are already dragging their bodies to the tents.

“You look cold” Hoshina fukutaicho says, as he comes closer to you. “A little bit…” you answer back, a little nervous. For some reason you can’t conceive the idea of a laid-back interaction with him when the rest of the squad’s around. “Come a little closer, I won’t bite you…” he whispers, smiling sweetly.

-oh, Soshiro Hoshina, you shouldn’t lie-

He covers you with the same blanket he is wearing, a proximity that some may or may not see a little bit too much for comrades. A proximity even to you seems too much.

However, nobody is really paying much attention; what everybody seems to be watching at is Kafka and Mina having a very private chat a few meters from the rest. Everybody knows, by any means, that such interaction should not be interrupted. Especially, when you discover Ashiro Taichou is capable of laughing being so close to Kafka.

“mhhh…” Soshiro hums, with a naughty smile. “don’t- bother them” Kikoru immediately intervenes. “Indeed, Shinomiya-chan ~” he sings; and with his usual two fingers up in the air he commands that it is time for everybody to go to sleep.

You beam, sweetly. Everybody knows, and at the same time they don’t. It doesn’t matter where that conversation will lead them, but everybody wants Mina and Kafka to laugh and enjoy their night.

“Which tent are you sleeping in?” Soshiro asks, once you stand up to follow everybody else to the tents.

“I was paired with Captain Mina, so that one” you answer, confused as why he is actually asking that.

“Good, then you are sleeping in mine. I paired myself with Kafka but given the fact that they might want a free tent -and if they don’t I will make them use one- this must be done” Soshiro decrees.

You might wanted to differ, but can you say no to him?

Soon, and after the rest couldn’t notice, you are finally inside the vice-captain tent. You find yourself sitting right on what it could have been Kafka’s sleeping bag, covered still with the blanket Soshiro shared with you. The scent of his manly perfume invades your nose, brain and mind. And your eyes, get full of the image of him taking his jacket off.

Soshiro wearing shorts is a whole new look you aren’t used to; but the compression shirt always stays on. He knows how good it looks on him, and he will explode such tempting imagery to his own benefit.

“Looking something  delicious, (Name)-san?” he asks, playful and naughty. “You ~” you murmur, covering your mouth with the blanket.

Soshiro crawls towards you; the tent isn’t big, so there isn’t room for much. His skilful hands pull from your blanket; he wants to see your body, too.

“You might have to excuse me, but you are the delicious one here my sweet little whore” he whispers, kneeled just in front of you ready to attack your lips.

Before you could say something, he turns off the little lamp. Soshiro is well aware of how shadows can casts on a tent specially if its dark enough on the outside.

A subtle light that comes from the silver moon, filters through the fabric of the Izumo tecs tent. It’s enough; you don’t really need the light to see each other’s bodies. Hands all over can travel through the mounts and valleys of your anatomies; lips all over too. Teeth can carve flesh, and tongue taste the taste of lust and needs.

“You smell so sweet, (Name). Did you use this perfume to make me fuck you, my dolce little whore? You want me to bite all over your tits?” he murmurs, inhaling the scent from the small of your neck. Those words hit you hard, your core gets more wet than before.

As if you were a honeyed Mont Blanc, Soshiro’s mouth begins to water. His hand land on your mandible, grabbing your chin with his palm, letting his thumb dive into your mouth and using enough force to move your head to the side.

With your neck exposed, now, he is able to take of bite of your dessert skin. The prominence of his fangs have always been a problem, or maybe just a blessing. Sharp, honed. Enough pressure can tear, rend the flesh. Just as his blades, so precise and deadly…

“Did I say I wouldn’t bite you? I will, actually” he smirks. You can’t see, but you can feel his lips curling up like a devil ready to be as mischievous as he pleases.

Because you allow it. Because you want it to. Because he says so, too.

The first bite came soft, the second one a little harder. The thumb inside your mouth, dampened in saliva, travels from the commissure of your lips towards your neck and chest.

There, where the zipper of your sports shirt is, his fingers reach. Soshiro lowers it, allowing your breasts to pop just like he likes it. Pointy nose buries just in the valley of your collarbones, going down, inhaling more and more of your sweet perfume.

“Ugh… I can’t stop myself. I just want to leave bruises all over this beautiful needy skin of yours” he grunts, getting his fangs ready to bite yet again. This time, with your hips already straddled on his lap. His hardness pushing strong against your core, so much that even the sport shorts feel tight on him.

Every bite makes you flinch; you react with little spasms. He never bites in order, if there is even an order to devour someone. Almost like a cannibal, he keeps bruising your delicate skin, with a painful and yet so delicious sensation. Soshiro could spend the rest of the night just like this, and you will be thankful even if he dared to drew blood out of you.

Down, down to your nipples he goes. Soshiro immediately covers your mouth with his palm, because he knows those little sweet whimpers must only be heard by him, and him only.

Nibbling on your right one, you shudder. Harder, Hoshina fukutaicho.

The tip of his left fang seems to pierce your extra sensitive tissue, enough to trigger a desperate need for your core to graze against his erection.

“My needy little Mont Blanc, come on move on top of my dick, pleasure yourself go ahead” he scoffs. Soshiro encourages you to move on top of him, to hump on him, with his palm squeezing your ass cheeks and pushing you towards him.

Your hands land on his shoulders; oh, the strong, well-trained shoulders of a blade specialist. Your nails, that imitate his teeth, carve marks into the very beginning of his shoulder blades as the biting on your breasts turn more and more violent.

And Soshiro wants more. You definitely want it too. Thus, slowly, but surely your back finally hits the not so comfy surface of the sleeping bag.

His hands land on each side of your head, pinned in missionary position by your hungry superior and lover. A trail of saliva on the commissure of his mouth shines with the weak moonlight passing through the zipper of the tent. The same goes for your upper body; you are trembling, feeling as the wet spots where his teeth have been get colder with a soft breeze.

Your shaky hands reach for the lower hem of his shirt; as much as you may love that compression piece of clothing, you love his pale skin the most.

“Take it off…” you murmur, perhaps pleading for mercy because you are sure this is just the start of this man’s sharp torture.

He smiles, devilishly; the fangs that sometimes are too cute to handle, now show how dangerous they could really be.

Soshiro takes off his shirt, then, looking like the star of a men strip club. Or maybe it is just that his tiny waist seems to be deadly dancing every time he moves.

You swallow, snaking your legs around his hips, pulling him closer to you. He gasps, Soshiro is very used to lead the way, not the other way around. However, he is absolutely lost in need to think much further.

Your eyes interlock; fixed into each other, hungry, desperate. Maybe in another time there will be more time for more foreplay, but not tonight.

You didn’t even notice when it happened, but your pants were off as fast as he can subjugate a Kaiju. His, pulled down by your toe hooked into the hem of his shorts, tangle around his strong hips.

“It’s gonna be raw, babe” he lets you know, half panting, half serious. “I know” you confess, you don’t want it any other way despite the risks.

Soshiro takes a big gasp of air, you are being the death of him. First, your sweet perfume, then your sweet taste and now your desperation for his sex. He then proceeds to lift your left leg up to his waist; he wants to go deeper the mere moment he is inside of you.

“Spread it like this” he murmurs, biting your knee from the side. Soshi positions himself a little to the side, in a delicious way to enter, pumping his throbbing shaft just a little to coat it entirely with the sprouting precum oozing from his tip.

You, on the other side, swear that the poor sleeping bag is already wet from your honeys. And you are not wrong, but things are about to get even more damp.

Slowly, because he can be fast and deadly, but also painfully unrushed, the tip barely lets your folds to engulf it. Your toes curl, it feels like rapture, like total ecstasy. Warmth against warmth, sliding so easily inside, stretching walls just perfectly slow.

The broad shoulders of Soshiro seem to become larger, his frame bigger. You can only imagine the look from his back, with every muscle moving, every defined line leading to the small of his back.

His abs aren’t the exception, either. The way his perfectly sculped stomach moves to the rhythm of his still superficial short thrusts might be enough to make you come. What a beautiful blade warrior he is.

“More…” “More? Aren’t you a little desperate bitch of mine?”

Soshiro goes deeper. Deeper than before. His hand lands on your mouth again, your moan stopped, your heart about to jump from your chest.

The rhythm increases. His hips go in and out faster with every impaling motion, and his teeth grip from the bridge of your foot. Even there, he is willing to leave his marks. Even from there, he wanna taste.

And yet, even on the verge of climax, it is not enough for him. Not deep enough… Your shin ends up on his shoulder, a position you weren’t exactly sure your body was capable to be put on.

He lets his body weight fall on top of you, and you can feel how his hardness might be drilling a hole into your insides. This time it is his mouth the one to mutter your orgasmic whines, inhaling the way you barely pronounce a <fuck> mixed with his name.

And now, he goes full throttle. Ah, Soshiro Hoshina, Vice-captain, fast and precise, deadly and wild… Slaps that some might have chosen to ignore during the night, were created with feverish skin against skin. Moans and grunts were engulfed by needy drooling mouths. Climaxes were reached, on and on and on…

Next morning, camping’s women’s bathroom house.

“(Name) what are those marks on your skin?” “Uh… mosquito bites…” “Oh, Captain Ashiro also has them all over her skin! You two forgot to use bug spray last night?!” “How about we stop asking so many questions…”

….

Next morning, camping’s men’s bathroom house.

“Seems mosquitoes were pretty annoying last night… right, Hoshina fukutaichou? Hibino Kafka?” “bwahahaha, they call you bug Hibino Kafka!” 😂 “They are laughing at you too, fukutaicho!!”  -.-