#there I go venting
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this was caretaking by the way. if I don't channel the breakdown into my nasty cutthroat rambling it means someone else takes the spiral. believe me, this is the least destructive spiral
#🎙️.will#it's a bandaid#but we live in a series of bandaids#patch the leaks#regular maintenance#keep us operational because fixing us would be too much money and time#bit of a money pit we are huh#pet project for those with a lot of time and money to spare#there I go venting#but that's the point#that was the first line of the post#or maybe second
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I hate gay people so much. I haven’t been able to hear an imagine dragons song on the radio or in a shop without my brain just IMMEDIATELY being flooded with ‘Okay im imagining his dragon’. People think i just rly hate imagine dragons with the way my face reacts but i don’t im literally fighting such a personal battle against saying something fruity abt mr dragons out of nowhere because the shit gay people say online is so funny
#vent#drafted in pieces over an hour after hearing radioactive on the aux#dis.txt#y’all are being so ridiculous in the comments#i saw someone say ‘you’d really go for a man with thin ankles? no thanks.’#there’s like a dozen men who look like this on the front page of seancody#like i KNOW you femcel ass tumblrinas are not this picky
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24/05/2020
#i write phrases and poems and shit and have dozens of them tucked away. went through them the other day and this one stood out to me#i'm doing fine sometimes it's just good to doodle something conceptually very sad#alluding of abuse etc. also this was within the month my dog passed away so i was going through it#also i'm working on like a bigger cotl project which is taking a whileeee sorry#artists on tumblr#digital art#pixel art#vent art#canine kin#canine therian#abuse tw
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i am nowhere near a good person, actually.
#bpd mood#bpd#bpd shit#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#borderline personality disorder#bpd vent#borderline pd#borderline blog#actually borderline#vent#bpd stuff#cluster b#anger issues bpd#bpd blog#splitting#bpd split#bpd splitting#bpd rage#borderline thoughts#living with borderline#actually cluster b#i am so tired#i gave myself a concussion on accident in the middle of an episode. life is not going great!
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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❤️🩹
#ramattra#overwatch#overwatch 2#ramattra overwatch#ramattra ow#kat wanted me to post it here so here we go :3#:( i love him so much#it was meant to be a quick vent drawing so please excuse how rushed it looks
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bpd is hating yourself for being the way you are even though it’s not you who made you like this
#actually borderline#actually bpd#being borderline#borderline blog#borderline culture is#borderline pd#borderline thoughts#borderline vent#bpd#bpd blog#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd mood#bpd stuff#bpd culture is#bpd fp#bpd life#bpd relatable#bpd shit#bpd things#actually mentally ill#borderline problems#borderline personality disorder#borderline#mentally unstable#mental illness#im going insane#i wanna kms#borderline life
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Welcome home
#artists on tumblr#cw blood#i really like drawing wings if it wasn't obvious#drawing has been rough lately though#all the A-I trash going around is so depressing to see#please pick up literally any tool in your hand and create#shape something with your own hands#breathe life into something#it doesn't need to look perfect and polished and photorealistic#literally anything any person has ever drawn with their own hands#has more value than every algorithm generated garbage put together#a vent doodle drawn in the math notebook of a 13 yo girl has infinitely more value#than any stolen blendered together soulless algorithm “creation”#we're humans we create#so just#create#with your own hands and your own ideas
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Staying up into the late hours of the night thinking of ways to kill yourself is something else entirely.
#like damn I feel insane but oh well#my favorite is getting run over my a car going 80#actually bpd#bpd#bpd culture is#bpd feels#bpd safe#bpd vent#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#cluster b
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idk as the days go by the urge to hang myself is getting stronger
#mentally tired#actually sad#depressing life#depressing shit#i'm sad#kinda depressing#actually bipolar#actually bpd#actually borderline#bipolar thoughts#mentally drained#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#mental illness#mental health#i’m going insane#bpd favorite person#bpd vent#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bipolar things#bipolar mania#bipolardepression#bipolar disorder#i hate my existence#i hate it here#i hate this
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Some of you people sound exactly like the fundamentalist adults in my life who were dead sure that Obama was going to abolish religious freedom and term limits and turn the US into a single-party state when he got elected in 2008 as opposed to like. being a pretty standard-issue federal politician with policies they didn't like. You know that, right?
#i hate go ''you have become that which you once hated'' but good grief some of you are annoying about it#this isn't about my mutuals for the most part I'm just venting my frustrations into the void
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If you wish to go, Do I have the right to ask you to stay? Guess not.
#persona 5#p5r#goro akechi#shuake#ren amamiya#akeshu#my art#akira kurusu#tumblr is the favorite child u get the comic with no typos#vent art tbh so im sorry that its upsetting usually I would go for happy ends#im fine tho#smthg about saying goodbyes
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hurt (click for better quality)
ko-fi☕️ shop🎣 redbubble🪲
#viks art#digital artwork#vent art#tw animal injury#artists on tumblr#digital art#clip studio paint#dog art#protest art#yes this is about voting actually and that people should like. actually vote! especially if they've been wronged#<- this is about dutch politcs#i first wanted to go with#een gebeten hond is drie keer zo hongerig#but i couldn't get it to work :/#i might make an alt version with that though#anyway fuck het nieuwe “kabinet”! krijg de tyfus#also alt version available on my ko-fi as well!! visible for ✨ everyone✨
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#kinda depressing#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destruction#self h@rm#selfharrrm#tw self h4rm#i wanna kms#kms#ready to kms#im going insane#vent#vent post
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Eventually...
#wenclair#wenclair fanart#wednesday fanart#they are going through it#enid sinclair#wednesday season 2#vent art kinda#they are gay#they need a hug#i need a hug
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#messyr#artists on tumblr#vent post#vent art#tw sui ideation#being busy keeps me distracted as f from these behaviors and thoughts;#keeping distracted bc idfk how to get rid of the urges from intrusive and harmful thoughts#every scenario is just like: hey we can try attempting again today maybe we'll succeed this time!!!#then i'll be rational (focusing on the present) and go : nah cant bro we busy#got clients. gotta graduate. got people to take care of. got people waiting blah blah blah#the endless list where i never catch a break and maybe I've grown used to it.#i yearn death but i don't take its offer. I can't really leave. Not yet. not when there's still too much to do.
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