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dailynnt · 3 months ago

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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 2/30

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: I can't believe I wrote the second part. I am so happy with how it turned out. I hope you will also enjoy it and look forward to the sequel. I will try to write it as soon as possible. I tried to create tension between Y/N and Jungkook. In part three, you'll find something very hot, so stay tuned for part three. Thanks to everyone who liked my story, I will do my best for you.

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 2. In theory

Today was a day off. Sunday. The one and only day when you could devote it entirely to yourself and not to your studies. Even though exams were about to start before the New Year holidays, you still recognized that you needed to rest, otherwise you might go crazy. This day could have started better if not for the morning's fight with Jungkook. And that's why you feel uncomfortable. You seem to have resolved everything and he has apologized, but there is some unpleasant residue. The emotions that you've been holding in for so long have left behind this very residue.

It wasn't just the quarrel you had this morning that made you feel uncomfortable. Jungkook. That's who was really making you feel as if you were detached from reality. His "question" about your love life kept repeating in your head.

Why did he suddenly want to know? Did you behave in such a way that he wanted to ask you about it? You had conversations on this topic, but it turned out that most often it was when you got together with a large group of your friends. One of them would start, and the evening would turn into a discussion of sexual achievements. Not infrequently, when you were drinking with Jungkook, he would also start such conversations, but you tried to avoid them.

But the truth is this. You only want to know one thing: why did he want to know if you had sex? What business is it of his?

You beat your fists on the bed. This question was tearing at your brain. Why are you lying here thinking about this? Don't you have anything better to do?!

You heard the sound of the combination lock. Jungkook had returned from the store. Your heart beat faster and felt like stomach was being stirred with a spoon. You sat on the bed and stared at the front door of your bedroom.

You need to calm down. You need to act normal. This is Jungkook, your best friend. You've known him for so long, so why would you have any problems with him now? You stood up and clenched your fists. "I'm going to make it through this. Nothing strange has happened. I'll treat my friend like I always do!" You straightened your hoodie, pulled up the sweatpants you loved to wear at home, and confidently opened the door to the living room.

Jungkook was on the doorstep, taking off his shoes. His black jacket was already hanging on the nightstand at the entrance. Two large bags of groceries were standing next to him. Noticing the white containers, you concluded that he had bought ready-made food. That's why he was gone for so long.

Your best friend noticed you. When your eyes met, you felt a twinge inside. And you literally lost to yourself. Your heart started pounding again, and your breathing became rapid, but you tried to hold on. In a split second, you ran your eyes over his figure, and you liked what you saw in front of you very much. Jungkook was dressed in all black. He liked to dress like that, 90% of his wardrobe was black. The other 10% were white clothes. For some reason, he did not wear colored clothes. The black Calvin Klein hoodie fit him perfectly. His pants were the same color with many pockets. His hair was slightly disheveled, probably because he was wearing a hood.

Jungkook picked up the bags and smiled broadly. "I decided it would take too long to cook, and we were already hungry. So I bought some ready-to-eat food." - He rustled the bags. You smiled awkwardly. Mentally scolding yourself for acting like a fool, you walked towards Jungkook, who had already come to the table and started to open up the containers of food.

"You're such a smart boy for thinking of that, because I'm really hungry." - You said as you helped Jungkook take out and open the lunchboxes.

"But you had breakfast!" - Your friend protested. "You fried some eggs for yourself and didn't even leave me a piece!"

"Two eggs without anything is not breakfast. Consider it as if I didn't eat anything. And I didn't fry them for you because you thought deserve them?" - You jabbed your finger at him. Jungkook giggled.

"I really didn't deserve breakfast this morning. But to make it up to you, I bought something for you." - Jungkook said. You looked at him. He was taking something out of the bottom of the bag. And as soon as the craft rectangular box appeared, you squealed with happiness.

"Donuts!" - You squeaked. You had no idea that Jungkook would buy your favorite hazelnut and chocolate-filled donuts. You loved all the donuts in the world, but these were your favorite.

You threw your arms around Jungkook and hugged him. And you kept squealing with joy. Donuts were the only thing that made you feel good, and your friend knew it. So it couldn't have been better. Jungkook hugged you around the waist with one arm, laughing, and tried to hold the box of dessert in the other.

"Thank you!" - You were still squeaking over Jungkook's ear. You probably would have hugged your friend for another 5 minutes and mocked his eardrums, but at that moment Jungkook's phone rang. You had to let him go. Handing you a box of donuts, your friend picked up the phone.

"Hello!" - Jungkook said. He went to the sink, and you continued to set the table.

You opened all the boxes and looked forward to finally having a good meal. Jungkook bought pork jangmyeon, kimchi, pickled radish, five packages of cooked rice (Jungkook eats a lot of rice for lunch), your favorite pulgogi, pocheeji (tofu stew), and stewed vegetables. You were almost salivating at the sight and smell of the food. You walked over to the chopstick stand and heard Jungkook talking.

"...Nothing special. I don't think I even asked her name." - You realized who Jungkook was talking about and with whom he was talking. It was Jimin, and conversation was about this morning girl who you had seen in the morning. You looked up at Jungkook. You had to nudge him to the side to get the chopsticks.

"I drunk but remember all. It was good, I don't think I'll call her again." - The irritation reappeared. But why would you care what Jungkook is talking about? But your mood disappeared easily. You were annoyed that he was talking with Jimin about the this morning girl. The image of her in your head made you think back to the fight, which made you feel uncomfortable. "How annoying... let him start telling him in detail about what they were doing there!" - You were angry. Why do he have to discuss it so loudly? You feel like you're eavesdropping, but he's talking so loudly that you have to be deaf not to hear.

You sat down at the table and started eating without waiting for Jungkook. Your movements were sudden and loud. Jungkook noticed that you started eating without him and smiled slyly. Your sudden, irritated movements could not escape his eyes.

"But you know what, Hyung? I haven't had a blowjob this good in a long time." - You spat out the pulgogi you had put in your mouth a moment before. You coughed, covering your mouth with your hand so that you couldn't be heard.

Jimin didn't know you were living with Jungkook, no one did. You were the one who asked don’t to tell anyone. You explained that you might be misunderstood, because everyone already suspected you were dating. But this did not happen. Even though you spent most of your time with Jungkook, it didn't mean that you were dating. You were just really good friends. Like soul mates. Although, considering the last three months, you were like sworn enemies.

Jungkook walked over to you and lightly patted you on the back while he continued to talk on the phone.

"I can give you her number if you want." - You heard your friend's voice somewhere above your head. He sounded like he was smiling. You wanted to strangle him. How can you say such things when a person is eating? You looked up at him. He was standing over you, smiling slyly. Jungkook was no longer pounding you, but stroking you. You beat his hand away and gestured that he was a fool and needed to end the conversation because the food goes cold.

"Anything. I was going to have lunch and bought some food." - A big sly smile graced Jungkook's lips. He sat down next to you and grabbed the metal chopsticks. Your eyes were completely focused on the lunch dishes, but with your peripheral vision you saw what your friend was doing. He was opening his portion of rice and still listening to what Jimin was saying to him.

"Tonight? I'm free..." - Jungkook answered. You looked up at him with anger eyes and encounter with two black buttons. "Ahh, I mean I'm free, but I promised Y/N I'd eat samgyopsal with her. We haven't seen each other for a long time, and she's going crazy because of the exams..." - Your friend made up a lie on the spot. You raised one eyebrow in surprise and question. Would he really refuse to meet Jimin? You love Jimin, he's also your friend, but whenever Jungkook is "free in the evening" like this and Jimin calls him, it always ends the same way. Jungkook is either gone for a day or he brings someone home. Jungkook probably feels guilty and, taking into account his words about following the rules, decided to lie. The guy sitting next to him nodded his head with a sweet look on his face, confirming to you that he wasn't going anywhere with Jimin. You lost interest and went back to your plate.

"If you want to join us, I won't mind. After all, we've been wanting to eat samgyopsal with you for a long time. But you need to text Y/N. She needs to know you're coming too. She's been very nervous lately." - You heard that irritating smart guy. His side was instantly hurt by your punch.

"I'm not a nervous, fool!" - You said with one lip. Jungkook could hardly contain his laughter. He talked to Jimin for another minute and finally said goodbye. You didn't say anything, although at first you thought about killing Jungkook as soon as he hung up, but you changed your mind. It's better to restrain yourself. God, why are you so angry with this guy lately? Has he really always had such a big mouth?

The only sound in the kitchen was the sound of metal chopsticks hitting a plate. When Jungkook finished talking on the phone, several minutes had passed. And all this time you were eating in silence. Each of you was thinking about something different. For example, you were wondering why Jungkook hadn't spoken to you yet. Why he didn't ask you if you liked the food, or why you were angry, or if you wanted to go to a restaurant tonight and have samgyopsal with Jimin. God, what's wrong with you? You're ready to go off like a bomb. How soon is your period due? Maybe you're so angry because your period is coming up.

"How's the food, baby?" - Jungkook finally broke the silence. You took your time answering. He surprises you sometimes. How he knows what you want him to do. He almost always does exactly what you think. You've known him for so long that you can just guess what he's going to do?

"It's good." - You said, finishing the radish. You tried to keep your tone calm, but it came out too dry. Jungkook smiled, surprisingly. You heard him sigh.

"You wanted to eat samgyopsal, so I thought we'd go to a restaurant not far from here tonight. That's why I made up this story for Jimin..." - Your friend said. But to you, it sounded like an excuse. He said it after you gave him a look full of lightning.

"Really? For some reason, I thought that when you told Jimin you were free, you wanted to continue yesterday's fun!" - You said in a sarcastically sweet voice.

"No, I didn't. I really wanted to invite you to eat out." - Jungkook said seriously. "But if you don't want to..."

"I do. I need a drink." - You said, getting up from the table.

"You've already eaten?" - Jungkook was surprised. You grabbed a box of donuts to eat alone in your room. Jungkook had bought them for you and you didn't want to share them.

"Yeah, you talked on the phone too long. I'm already full. What time should we go?" - You asked.

"I don't know, what time do you get hungry?"

"Okay. I'll tell you when I'm hungry. Thanks for lunch." - You turned on your feet and walked toward your bedroom.

You spent almost the whole day in your room. After lunch, Jungkook went out without telling you when he would be back. You only knew he had left when the door slammed shut. Trying not to think about what business Jungkook could have gone on, you turned on a drama to distract yourself from the annoying thoughts of your friend and your constantly irritating attitude towards him. You didn't get to watch the drama properly. First, you got a call from Suyong, a friend from the university. Then you called your parents and talked to your mom on the phone for almost two hours. It had been a long time since you had talked to her for that long. Given your busy study schedule, conversations with your parents were usually late at night and it was literally to find out if you were okay.

After talking to your mom, you received a text message from Jimin inviting you and Taehyung to join you with Jungkook for grilled pork and soju tonight. You agreed, saying that you missed the guys and that you'd love to spend the evening with them. You really needed to dilute the company of Jungkook, who had been annoying you lately.

Finally, when you finished texting Jimin, you could devote yourself to watching a drama.

The drama turned out to be so interesting that you didn't notice how you watched 6 episodes at a time and it was getting dark outside. You felt very hungry, because your last meal was well past lunchtime.

You went out to the living room to look for Jungkook. He must have come back when you didn't hear him, but the light was off. You noticed that Jungkook's jacket, boots, and bike helmet were missing. It's so late, almost eight o'clock in the evening. Where could he be for so long? Maybe he was called to work because of something urgent?

You didn't know where Jungkook worked. The only thing you knew was that it had something to do with security. He was some kind of manager or something. You repeatedly tried to ask Jungkook where he worked, but he was skillful at avoiding answering.

You went back to your room to call your friend and tell him you were hungry. A few long rings and he picked up the phone.

"Hello!" - Jungkook said.

"Hello. Where are you?" - You asked.

"I went away for work. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I had an emergency." - Jungkook's voice was quiet in the background.

"Mmm. I'm already hungry." - You said. "You promised we'd go to a restaurant."

"Yeah. How long until you're ready?" - You heard Jungkook walk outside. The sound of the road and the wind reached your ear.

"Are you coming to pick me up?" - You asked hopefully.

"If you want." - Jungkook said gently. You didn't think for a second. You answered immediately.

"I want to. I'll be ready in about 30 minutes."

"I'll be there in exactly half an hour. I'll call Jimin and have him come too." - You heard the sound of Jungkook's bike engine.

"Taehyung will be here too." - You said as you went to the shower.

"Great. It'll be more fun!" - Said your friend. "I'll be there soon. Get ready." - You gave a short "Okay" and ran to take a shower.

After quick showers you washed face and put on light makeup. If it were just you and Jungkook, you wouldn't have done this. You're used to not wearing makeup around him. But Jimin and Taehyung are the kind of people who shouldn't see you without makeup. You can't really trust them. In December, you wore a warm beige sweatshirt and jeans to keep warm on motorcycle. It might have been warm in the restaurant, but you don't want to freeze to death while Jungkook is riding his bike. So a warm puffy jacket is perfect. You were just putting on your hat when Jungkook called. He told you that he was waiting for you.

You arrived at a restaurant that was a block away from your house. It was a cozy place that was always crowded. Jungkook parked his bike and you went inside together. To your surprise, Jimin and Taehyung were already there, grilling pork. When they saw you, they waved their hands energetically to invite you to the table.

"Hi guys!" - You greeted your friends, taking turns hugging them. Jungkook shook his hands and helped you undress. There was a hanger near each table. You sat down at the table and felt the smell of roasting meat warming your appetite to the max. Jungkook sat down next to you.

"How are you? Did you come together?" - Jimin spoke to you. You followed his movements and the way the pork was being cooked, fascinated.

"I picked up Y/N on the way to the restaurant." - Jungkook said as he stuffed his mouth with rice and kimchi. You decided to wait until the meat was ready and then start eating.

"Taehyung, pour me some soju." - You asked him gently, noticing the four bottles on the edge of the table. He smiled kindly and grabbed the bottle closest to him.

"Don't drink on an empty stomach. I'm not going to carry you home on my shoulders." - Jungkook said, still chewing on something. He waved his hand at the shot glass you were holding in your hand and you saw that his knuckles were knocked off. You abruptly put the stack down on the table before Taehyung could finish, causing some soju to spill onto the table. You turned to Jungkook, grabbing his injured arm.

"What happened to your hand?" - You asked with horror in your voice. Jimin and Taehyung looked at you, puzzled. Jungkook wanted to pull his hand out, but you were holding it tightly. Jungkook carefully hid his other hand.

"Hey, did you fight with someone? Let me see your left hand!" - You demanded. Jungkook used a little more force and this time pulled his arm out. You looked at your friend in displeasure. Jungkook looked at you, and then at his friends, who were also looking at him.

"It's nothing. I just fell off my bike." - Jungkook replied, ignoring his friends' looks and continuing to eat. Jimin and Taehyung lost interest as well, the former continuing to grill the meat and the latter starting to eat as well.

"How did you fall off the bike?" - You asked. Of course you didn't believe him. How can you fall so hard that you hurt your knuckles? Or is it possible?

"Simple, I didn't calculate the rise when I parked. I forgot to put on gloves, so I bruised my hands." - Your friend explained indifferently. You continued to look at the wounds on his hand with suspicion. Jimin had already finished grilling some of the meat and put it on your plate first, followed by the rest to everyone else . You didn't notice because you were too busy worrying about Jungkook. He continued to ignore you and stuff his stomach. You sniffled, went back to your plate, and started eating. Why do you care so much if he doesn't care? You hadn't seen Jimin and Taehyung in a long time, so you decided that you would pay more attention to those two and your wonderful dinner.

The friendly get-together was a great decision for you. Jimin and Taehyung were perfect for a casual conversation on a Sunday night. You had fun, delicious food, and warmth. For some reason, Jungkook, who was sitting next to you, hardly participated in your conversations. You found out that Jimin had been promoted last week, and Taehyung told you how he lost a bet with a friend in the military (Taehyung was in the military special forces) and had to do some hellish set of exercises. He also said what it was called, but you didn't remember because you were already a little drunk. What's the point of making excuses, even sober you couldn't remember the name of this exercises. You encouraged your friend, telling him that he would become even cooler and stronger than he was before after the bet. Taehyung almost went to kiss you for that compliment.

Sometimes, when you looked in Jungkook's direction, you noticed that he was constantly texting with someone. And a few times he even went to talk on the phone, although he lied about taking a smoke break. Jungkook did smoke. Although it didn't fit in with his lifestyle and sports, which he was obsessed with, but yes, he smoked. Once in a conversation, he shared that smoking helps him calm his nerves. Don’t good reason, if ask you. There are many other ways to calm your nerves. But if smoking is the only thing that helps Jungkook, what can you do?

In the afternoon, Jungkook was gone all day. He said he had an urgent call to work. Could his distant behavior have something to do with it?

Jungkook returned after another smoke break. When he sat down next to you, you caught the smell of cigarettes and his perfume. It wasn't a good combination, but you liked it. You turned your head to the black-haired guy who was your best friend and roommate. He picked up a shot of soju and drank it in one gulp without even a wince.

You were shocked when he suddenly started drinking after a while of sitting there. Although he didn't mean to at first. He was driving and it was logical. When you protested who would take you home, he said "taxi". You stopped worrying. It's not far anyway, you can walk at least.

Jimin and Taehyung left the table, one to go to the restroom and the other goes to order more appetizers and soju.

In a short moment, Jungkook drank another shot of alcohol. What caught your attention were his bruised knuckles. Some of them were just red, even blue, and the first three were bruised to the point of blood. This was evidenced by the healing wounds covered with a blood crust.

"They should have at least put band-aids on them or something." - Suddenly you said, drawing Jungkook's attention. He gave you a look.

"No need for that." - He smiled. You rolled your eyes.

"Of course, we're so cool. There can't be any infection or contamination at all. You fell on the road. Is asphalt ever sterile?" - You answered sarcastically.

Jungkook smiled, his smile seemed sly. He leaned in and whispered almost in your ear.

"You care about me that much?" - A wave of heat rushed through your body. Your alcohol-red cheeks flushed even more. Your heart started to race. That self-assured, sly smile on his handsome face again.

"Get over yourself, Jeon. I'm just saying the obvious. If you've hurd, you need to take care of yourself." - You said calmly. But if Jungkook could hear your heart beating so fast it could jump out of your chest, you were doomed to fail. Jungkook laughed again, confidently, still too close to you. How he loved this kind of talk. Teasing you was probably his favorite thing to do.

"I’d rather when someone cares about me." - Now it was your turn to laugh. That's what you did when he said. "When we get home, will you take care of me?" - Jungkook whispered in your ear. His breath was hot, and his whisper set your insides on fire. You couldn't give up so easily. He was teasing you and you knew it. This thing was that manner of his, probably the same way he traps the girls who fall into his bed. Ahhh that fox! But you rarely lost in such cases.

"You want me to take care of you, of course I could, but on a condition." - You joked. Jungkook raised his left eyebrow with interest, while playing with a lock of your hair.

"What condition?" - You heard his playful tone.

"You will do me good." - You answered. Jungkook froze, and the curl he was playing with slipped from his finger. "I win," you thought, laughing with difficulty.

Jungkook probably wanted to answer, but his friends came to the table at the same time.

"Just look at them!" - Taehyun said to Jimin with indignation. "And then they say they're not dating. They're openly flirting with each other!" - You straightened up sharply and tried to pull away from Jungkook. Your best friend also returned to his previous position, folding his arms on the table.

"Really. Perhaps you two confess to us at the end. Who is this hypocrisy for?" - Jimin said as he poured soju for everyone. You were outraged. Again, these talks about relationships. Especially from Jimin, who knows that Jungkook fucked another girl this night. If he was in a relationship with you, how could he do that?

"Hey guys, come on!" - You started to get angry. "We've discussed this topic a thousand times. We are not in a relationship. It's never going to happen." - You knocked over a stack of soju Jungkook waiting for anyone to respond. Jungkook looked at you, struck by how harshly you said it.

"Living with him is a nightmare, what kind of relationship you talking about?" - You blurted out. The table became quiet. Everyone was looking at you, trying to understand what you had just said. Jungkook tried to hold back his laughter. You were gave yourself away.

Panic filled your thoughts. But you had to act quickly, given the looks on Taehyung and Jimin's faces. You threw a quick glance at Jungkook, who was almost laughing.

"Do you live together?" - Taehyung asked, squinting his eyes.

"No." - You answered too quickly. "I mean, he's impossible to stand in life, we argue all the time, how would I date him?" - You justified yourself.

"We argue because you're always unhappy about something." - Jungkook suddenly spoke up. He sounded irritated.

"I'm unhappy about something?!" - You punched Jungkook in the ribs. "You're the one who's always acting like a piece of idiot!"

"Okay, okay, calm down." - Jimin tried to calm the two of you down. "Otherwise, people are all staring at us." - You turned away from Jungkook. This guy really annoys you.

"Let's talk about this specifically." - Taehyung began to think out loud. "You've been best friends for a long time. Ever since high school. You went to taekwondo school together. You spend a lot of time together. Have you ever thought about dating?"

"No!" - You and Jungkook said in unison.

"Well, don't you attract Jungkook’s appearance? He was very popular in school and college." - Jimin joined the conversation. You chewed your meat and answered indifferently.

"I know and I've never denied that Jungkook is handsome, but dealing with his character is a mission impossible." - You said. Jungkook started to complain again, exclaiming "what the hell is wrong with my character?!" as Jimin ordered him to be quiet and continued his interrogation.

"You mean you admit that you like him... Appearance!" - Your friend clarified.

"Well, yes. But I don't look at his looks..." - You said. "You know It's like when you eat chocolate every day and it gets tried and you just stop enjoying it, even though it tastes the same. Besides, I always had only one problem with those girls of his. And it continues to this day." - You finally finished. All three guys were puzzled.

"How about you. What do you think Jungkook? Do you like Y/N’s looks then?" - Taehyung asked. Jungkook clicked his tongue.

"What are you guys, matchmakers? Stop asking stupid questions."

"Hey, have you lost your mind? I answered so you answer too!" - You snapped, glaring at your friend.

"So you want to know if I like you, baby?" - Jungkook purred. He was amused that it was you who insisted on answering. You blushed. Him calling you "baby" in front of everyone didn't make it any easier for you.

"I swear, Jeon, I'm going to kill you tonight." - You were seriously angry. And for Jungkook, there was nothing more amusing than your expression right now. He took another drink, keeping the three of you waiting.

"Y/N is hot. And her looks are beautiful." - Jungkook finally said. Hearing those words about yourself is like a miracle. Jungkook really thinks you're hot? Oh my God, you were ready to fall apart. "But she's not my type. So we'll never really have anything with her." - It's like a bucket of cold water was dumped on you after his words. You froze, but there it was expected. Yes, you've always known it. You are not his type and he would never like you. So there's nothing to talk about. You were upset, but you couldn't show it. You faked a laugh to support Jungkook's words.

"You see, there's no way we're going to be able to date. I hope this is the end of the matter." - You said.

"Come on!" - Taehyung persisted. "If you were to live together in the same apartment, wouldn't anything happen between you?"

"Do you mean sex?" - Jungkook asked. You almost choked on the rice bun you were eating. Jimin jumped up to you and gently patted you on the back to save your life.

"Yes. In theory." - Taehyung asked with a sly smile.

"I don't know." - Jungkook shrugged. "In theory, it could happen if we lived together." - It was at that moment that you really thought you were going to die.

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#jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #bts #jungkook x f!reader #jungkook smut #jungkook friends with benefits #jungkook #bts mafia au

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bowditch · 2 years ago

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every time i see a post talking about how alfred pennyworth failed bruce for not getting him into therapy as a kid i want to scream.

it did not exist. the idea that children could have PTSD was just starting to be discussed in the late 80s/early 90s at the FRINGE of child psychology, and then trauma therapy even for adults spent an unhelpful 2ish decades dominated by forced-conversation talk therapy. that's a thing that is detrimental to trauma recovery, because if someone doesn't feel safe or in control of the dialogue about their trauma and is repeatedly asked to describe their trauma when they're uneasy, it COMPOUNDS TRAUMA AND FEELINGS OF DANGER.

when bruce was a kid, even the best psychs available would have had training that taught them kids bounce back, that kids don't respond to or handle trauma the way adults do, and that any behaviors post-trauma were almost certainly unrelated mental illness.

i see this esp in fandom circles but a gentle reminder that therapy even when it's good doesn't fix everything. even if bruce had HAD access to good childhood PTSD therapy, he would still have grief, he would still potentially be socially awkward or withdrawn, he might have still decided to be Batman because it's a comic book where being a vigilante isn't as wild as it is irl.

therapy requires honesty, readiness, safety, sound application of theory, an accurate picture of life outside the therapy room (self-reporting is often flawed!), consistency, and more! it can help but it doesn't erase trauma or grief. it's dismissive of the history of trauma therapy to say an adult "should have" had a kid in a therapy approach that didn't exist, and it's dismissive of the actual work of therapy to act like therapy would have made everything ideal. bruce isn't going to be a normal, well-adjusted adult because his parents were murdered in front of him. he could be happy! he could have coping skills! but honestly it would be weirder if he didn't wrestle with residual trauma and grief throughout his life.

and maybe this is just because i love Batman, and love specifically Batman as a symbol/figure of hope and sacrifice and the belief that every life matters, but I don't think the worst ending here is Bruce deciding to give up a lot of his time, energy, and health to work in Gotham AND then choose to parent a traumatized child and actively meet his needs. like you think the alternative is that Alfred is a better parent by getting him into non-existent therapy and then he stays comfortably wealthy at home and is just another rich dude? that's the ideal version? the one who can't help Dick Grayson because Dick Grayson wants to run away and murder a man?

anyway tl;dr alfred should have flaws, yes, but there's a big gap between "flawed human parental figure" and "man who massively failed Bruce in multiple ways, one of which was not putting him in therapy."

#rant #therapy #history #batman

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lvrgurlblobbu · 1 month ago

Text

a glimpse of bliss

dawnbreaker!zayne x fem!reader

⤿ part of snow angel series :)

⤿ CW: ANGST & hurt

⤿ word count: 3.7k

⤿ synopsis: in which, dawnbreaker took over dr zayne’s body for a whole day and to his surprise, he is greeted by a loving family— a light at the end of a dark tunnel.

⤿ a/n: this is based on theories abt dawnbreaker being able to be in dr. zayne’s body.

ao3.

Smoke fills the air, and agonizing screams echoed through the shattered streets, a haunting melody of despair and chaos. Shadows danced on crumbling walls as fire consumed what little remained of the once-thriving city. Among the ruin, survivors stumbled blindly, their faces streaked with ash and tears, searching for loved ones or a safe corner to cling to.

Above it all, a figure emerged—cloaked in soot and blood but unyielding, Dawnbreaker Zayne stood at the edge of the carnage, their gaze fixed on the encroaching darkness. The ground trembled beneath approaching monstrosities, but Zayne did not flinch.

This was not just a battlefield; it was a reckoning. For every scream, every tear shed, Zayne vowed to fight until the dawn broke anew.

As the monstrous creature lunged toward him, its roar shook the very ground, but Zayne’s stoic and calm demeanor remained unshaken. His breath hung in the air like smoke as the temperature around him plummeted. Ice began to swirl and crystallize in his hand, condensing into jagged shards that shimmered with an ethereal glow.

In the blink of an eye, the icy shards shot forward with a piercing whine, faster than the creature could react. They tore through its hide with brutal precision, freezing its grotesque flesh mid-motion. The beast’s roar choked into a guttural growl as frost crept across its massive body, encasing it in a crystalline prison.

Zayne’s piercing gaze never wavered as he stepped forward, his boots crunching against the frost-covered ground. With a flick of his hand, the frozen creature shattered into a thousand glittering fragments, scattering like fragile stars across the battlefield.

The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the soft crackle of residual ice dissipating into mist. “You should’ve stayed in the shadows,” Zayne muttered, his voice low and unyielding, before turning his focus to the darkness beyond—where even greater threats awaited.

Once he made sure that there are no more threats around the streets, he decided to walk back home — he doesn’t even know if he’d call the four cornered shelter home, because being home is accompanied by the feeling of warmth, content, and comfort. But why is it that he feels the complete opposite? It’s silent, eerily so, with only the faint creak of the old wooden floorboards to remind him that the house is still standing. The cool chill of the atmosphere of his home is enough to give you a frostbite, shadows linger in every corner, their shapes twisting in ways that feel unnatural, as if the house itself is alive and watching him.

The air feels heavy as he stepped inside, his breathing erratic and he closed his eyes to calm himself down. Every time he does, a familiar female figure comes in his vision. She’s the same woman who’s been haunting— no, visiting his dreams. Seeing that woman alone brings him peace, his comfort and solace in this never ending chaos he’s forced to endure. As he opened his eyes once again, he is met my the cool and lifeless atmosphere of his apartment.

Nothing new about it.

The cold breeze of the night creeps in his apartment, it’s almost midnight and he knew for himself that he needs to rest. For he knows that another day will soon come, another chapter of his journey that demands his strength, resilience, and unwavering focus. Yet, as he sits by the dim glow of a single lamp, staring at the half-empty glass on the table, his mind refuses to quiet.

He pulls the thin blanket over himself, staring at the ceiling. His eyes grow heavy, but his thoughts remain loud. Tomorrow will come, he reminds himself, whether he’s ready or not. And with that, he surrenders to the night, letting the cold breeze lull him into restless sleep.

It hasn’t been long when his mind became awake. He didn’t have to flutter his eyes open to sense the change, but everything feels different. The once cold and empty atmosphere is now sheltered in a familiar warmth, wrapping around him like an old, forgotten embrace.

His breathing steadies as he takes in the sensation, his body no longer tense but oddly at ease. The faint scent of something nostalgic lingers in the air—soft and delicate, like a memory he can’t quite place.

Slowly, he opens his eyes, expecting to find the same dimly lit room. Instead, a soft golden glow spills across the walls, flickering gently as if from an unseen fire. The air hums faintly, carrying with it a sense of familiarity, yet he knows for certain that this is not a dream.

Especially when he took notice of a familiar female figure resting soundly on his chest. Their bare skin is hot to the touch, a stark contrast to the cold that had lingered in the room just hours ago. Her steady breathing tickles his collarbone, her body pressed against his in a way that feels both intimate and grounding.

For a moment, he is frozen, unsure if this is reality or a cruel trick of his imagination. His hand hovers over her back, hesitant, but the softness of her presence is undeniable. The faint scent of her hair—a mixture of something floral and uniquely her—fills his senses, anchoring him further in the moment.

His chest tightens, a mix of longing and unease washing over him. It’s as though the warmth carries a presence—one he cannot see but can feel as surely as the steady beat of his own heart. For a moment, he stays still, unsure whether to reach for it or let it linger, afraid that any movement might shatter the fragile peace surrounding him.

Then his thoughts were suddenly put to a stop when she began to stir in her sleep. Her hand resting on his chest, then suddenly her eyes fluttered open. When she met his gaze, it’s as if he was hit by a thousand emotions all at once—memories, long-buried feelings, and an ache he couldn’t quite define. Her gaze held a depth that threatened to unravel him, a silent connection that spoke louder than words ever could.

“Zayne?” she whispered, her voice a soft, tender pull that seemed to anchor him in the surreal moment. She stared at him with half-lidded eyes, still heavy with sleep, but there was a quiet intensity in her gaze that made his heart skip.

He couldn’t bring himself to speak. His throat felt tight, as if the world had stopped moving and all that remained was her—the way her chest rose and fell with each gentle breath, the way her hair framed her face in soft waves that shimmered in the dim light.

It’s like a dream, he thought, his mind struggling to process what he was seeing. The beauty before him was beyond anything he could have imagined in his waking moments, a perfect blend of tenderness and strength. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, mesmerized by the curve of her lips, the softness in her expression, and the warmth of her touch.

Her hand gently brushed against his cheek, bringing him back to the present, her touch grounding him as if sensing the conflict in his mind. “What’s wrong? Tell me, love.”

“I—“ He couldn’t form his words clearly as if something is lodged in his throat. She looked at him with such worry and she sat up, revealing her bare body with a few red marks on her neck down her chest — a clear indication of a previous lovemaking.

“Did the nightmares came again?” She leaned closer, he just gave her a silent nod. “Okay, I’ll just get you a glass of water alright?” She leaned closer to give him a soft kiss on his cheek.

He watched her as she got out of bed, her naked form completely in display. She went to the mini couch in their bedroom to grab the robe that was placed on the armrest, and she headed towards the door then straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Zayne is still trying to process the strange surrealism of the moment-the warmth of her, the way she seemed so at ease while he remained frozen in disbelief. He could hear her soft footsteps as she made her way to the kitchen, the faint sound of glass being retrieved. The calmness of the moment contrasted sharply with the storm of thoughts raging in his mind.

How was she here? How was this possible?

She returned shortly, her robe loosely tied around her waist, her hair cascading over her shoulders like a dark waterfall. She paused by the doorway, holding the glass of water in her hand, her eyes meeting his with a quiet understanding.

She sat beside him and handed him the glads of water. When Zayne met her gaze, she gave him a soft smile. The kind of smile that eases his worries away, and that moment he knew who she was. It was you.

His trembling hand slowly touched your cheek, he’a a bit hesitant to let himself believe it’s real. His eyes, wide and filled with unspoken emotions, searched yours as if afraid you might disappear like a dream. “It’s really you,” he whispered, his voice shaky, barely audible.

You leaned onto his touch and placed your hand above his, “It’s me Zayne, your wife.”

Wife. Word so foreign to his ears now, yet it stirred something deep within him—a distant longing. His breath hitched as he tried to process your words, his gaze locked onto yours as though searching for proof.

“Wife,” he repeated, the word tumbling from his lips like a question and a prayer all at once. It felt strange, almost unreal, but the way you looked at him, the way your touch grounded him—it was undeniable.

“Yes,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling in your chest. “Your wife. I’m here, Zayne. I’ve always been here.” You tilted your head slightly to kiss his hand and locked your gaze with his. At that moment, a thought kept bugging in his mind that maybe none of it was real. That maybe all of these were just part of his dream, continuing to haunt him as it depicts the life he never and will never have due to endless reasons.

But now, seeing you in front of him and feeling the warmth radiating from you, he wants to believe that everything around him is real. And if there’s even a possibility that all of this is temporary—that the moment he opens his eyes, you’ll no longer be by his side—he decides to cherish this moment with you, holding onto it as if it were his last.

The small sounds of knocking waked him up, he felt a bit of panic when he realized that you’re no longer beside him. He took a good look of his surroundings, the rays of the sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. For a moment, he wondered if it had all been a dream—the touch of your hand, the sound of your voice, the warmth of your presence. His chest tightened at the thought.

The knocking continued, gentle but persistent, pulling him from his thoughts. Then, the door opened slightly and a tiny head peeked through the opening.

“Daddy?” The little girl called out, her big green eyes peeking around the door. When she caught sight of Zayne sitting on the bed, her face lit up with pure joy. She threw the door open and ran toward him, her laughter filling the room like sunshine breaking through clouds.

“Daddy!” she exclaimed, her voice high with excitement as she launched herself into his arms.

Zayne caught her with ease, his heart swelling as he held her close. Confusion flooded his mind but as the little girl threw herself in his arms, his heart became full.

She giggled, her tiny arms wrapping tightly around his neck. “Mama said you were still asleep! I wanted to wake you up!”

“Daddy, mama said we’re going to have our picnic today!” Hyacinth exclaimed as she looked up at Zayne. Her bright emerald eyes matching his stared at him.

Zayne blinked down at the little girl, Hyacinth, her radiant smile and cheerful demeanor making his heart ache in ways he couldn’t quite understand. He wasn’t used to this—this warmth, this simplicity. It was a stark contrast to the chaos and endless battles of his own world.

“That’s… great, sweetheart,” he said, his voice softer than he intended. He crouched to her level, gently brushing a strand of her dark hair away from her face. “What kind of snacks did you prepare?”

Hyacinth’s grin widened, her excitement bubbling over. “Mama and I made sandwiches! And cookies! Oh, and juice! We even packed a blanket!”

Zayne chuckled, the sound foreign to his own ears. He wasn’t sure how to navigate this version of life, but something about Hyacinth’s joy made him want to try. “Sounds like you’ve got everything covered.”

Hyacinth nodded vigorously, grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the kitchen. “Come on, Daddy! Mama’s waiting!”

When they reached the kitchen, his gaze landed on you, standing by the counter, carefully arranging the food into a basket. The sunlight streaming through the window bathed you in a golden glow, and for a moment, he just stared, his heart tightening with an unfamiliar but comforting sense of belonging.

You looked up and smiled when you noticed him. “There you two are,” you said warmly, brushing your hands on your apron. “Everything’s almost ready. Did Hyacinth tell you about the surprise we planned?”

Zayne raised an eyebrow, glancing down at Hyacinth, who was trying (and failing) to stifle her giggles. “Surprise?”

You walked over, placing a hand on his arm. “We thought it’d be nice to spend the day together as a family. No work, no distractions. Just us.”

For a moment, Zayne felt a pang of guilt. This wasn’t truly his life. This wasn’t his family. He was merely borrowing it for a day. But as Hyacinth beamed up at him and you squeezed his arm reassuringly, he pushed those thoughts aside.

“That sounds… perfect,” he said, his voice almost cracking with sincerity.

The three of you spent the day in a nearby meadow, the picnic blanket spread under the shade of a large oak tree. Hyacinth darted around, chasing butterflies and picking flowers, while you and Zayne sat side by side, sharing stories and laughter.

At one point, Hyacinth stumbled into his lap, holding up a crown of daisies. “For you, Daddy!” she declared, placing it clumsily on his head.

Zayne froze, staring at the small crown before breaking into an unexpected laugh. “Do I look like a king now?”

“No, silly!” Hyacinth giggled, her arms wrapping around his neck. “You’re my daddy!”

Something in her words pierced through him, and for the first time, Zayne felt the weight of what he’d been missing—a life of love, simplicity, and connection.

“Daddy, watch me!” Hyacinth called, spinning in circles with her arms outstretched. Her flower-patterned dress flared as she twirled, giggling with delight.

Zayne, sitting on the picnic blanket beside you, couldn’t help but smile. “I’m watching, sweetheart,” he said, his voice softer than usual, a rare warmth sneaking into his tone.

You nudged him playfully. “You should join her,” you suggested, your eyes glinting with mischief. He raised an eyebrow at you, skeptical. “I’m not sure spinning in circles is my forte.”

“Come on, Daddy!” Hyacinth ran up to him, grabbing his hand with surprising strength for her size. “You have to dance with me!”

With a reluctant chuckle, Zayne allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. You watched with a grin as Hyacinth led him in an uncoordinated but heartfelt attempt at dancing. Zayne twirled her clumsily, and her laughter rang out like music.

“Am I doing this right?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at you with mock helplessness. “You’re perfect,” you said, laughing.

When Hyacinth stumbled into his arms, panting from all the twirling, Zayne scooped her up effortlessly, holding her close. “Alright, little one. I think that’s enough spinning for today,” he said, his voice low but filled with affection.

Later in the afternoon, the three of you wandered down to a small lake nearby. Hyacinth insisted on feeding the ducks, and you handed her a bag of breadcrumbs.

“Just a little at a time,” you reminded her as she crouched near the water’s edge.

Zayne stood back, watching as Hyacinth giggled and tossed crumbs to the eager ducks. You stepped closer to him, slipping your arm through his.

“She adores you,” you said quietly, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“She’s… something else,” Zayne replied, his eyes fixed on Hyacinth. His voice softened as he continued, “I didn’t know something so small could have such a big heart.”

“She gets it from you,” you said, smiling up at him. He glanced at you, his expression faltering for a moment. He wanted to tell you that this wasn’t his life, that he didn’t deserve this love and admiration. But instead, he let himself believe in your words, just for today.

As the sun set, the three of you returned home. After dinner, it was Hyacinth’s favorite part of the evening: storytime. She tugged Zayne by the hand to the couch, a stack of her favorite books in her arms.

“You read, Daddy,” she insisted, plopping down beside him and snuggling under his arm. He glanced at the books, then at you. “I don’t know if I’ll do it right.”

“You’ll be great,” you said, sitting down across from them with a contented smile.

Zayne opened the first book, his voice tentative at first but growing steadier with each page. Hyacinth hung on every word, her wide emerald eyes sparkling with wonder as he brought the characters to life in a way he hadn’t expected he could.

“Again!” she demanded when he finished the first story.

“Again?” he asked, feigning exhaustion.

You laughed. “She’s relentless, isn’t she?”

“Alright,” he said with a dramatic sigh, opening another book. “But only because you’re so convincing, sweetheart.”

After several stories and countless giggles, Hyacinth finally began to doze off. Zayne carried her to bed, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. He laid her down gently, tucking the blankets around her small frame.

“Goodnight, Daddy,” she murmured sleepily, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and tender. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

As he stepped out of the room, he found you waiting in the hallway. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his chest.

“She’s lucky to have you,” you said softly.

For a moment, Zayne couldn’t speak. He held you close, closing his eyes as he let himself savor the moment. “No,” he finally said, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m the lucky one.”

Zayne pressed a small kiss on your forehead before you led him towards your bedroom. The both of you changed into your night clothes, settling into the quiet comfort of the evening. The weight of the day, filled with laughter and warmth, lingered in the air as you climbed into bed together.

Zayne hesitated for a moment, standing by the edge of the bed. His fingers brushed the fabric of his shirt, his gaze softening as he looked at you nestled under the covers. This life—this peaceful domesticity—felt so foreign to him, yet it was everything he had never known he wanted.

“Come on,” you said gently, patting the space beside you. “You’ve had a long day, too.”

He smiled faintly, the corners of his mouth curving upward as he slid into bed beside you. The mattress dipped under his weight, and he let out a quiet exhale, feeling the warmth of your presence next to him.

You turned to face him, your hand finding his. “Today was wonderful,” you said softly, your voice filled with sincerity. “We should do this often, the three of us as a family.”

Instead of answering, he brought your hand to his lips and he kissed it. Next, he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. You smiled contentedly as you wrapped your arms around him.

You tilted your head as you leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before settling against his chest. “Goodnight, Zayne,” you murmured.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as his heart ached with both gratitude and sorrow. “Goodnight,” he whispered, his voice carrying a silent promise—to cherish this fleeting moment, no matter how temporary it might be.

And though he knew this day would end, that he’d soon return to his own world, Zayne vowed to carry these memories with him forever. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he had experienced what it meant to truly live—and to be loved.

***

His eyes fluttered open once more, he would be lying if he admitted that his chest didn’t ache when he’s greeted by this painful reality — the warmth he felt before is now replaced by the familiar sheer of coldness he grew accustomed to.

He sat up slowly, the coldness of the room biting at his skin. It was like the echoes of the day—of laughter, of shared moments—were slipping through his fingers, fading into nothingness. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to recall the softness of your touch, the sound of Hyacinth’s laughter, the way the world had seemed so full when they were near.

But all he was left with was this cold, silent emptiness. The kind of emptiness he knew all too well, the kind that haunted him when he was alone, when he didn’t have anyone to hold onto.

Zayne’s hand drifted to his chest, fingers pressing over the space where his heart seemed to be breaking. It didn’t matter that the world he had been part of wasn’t his own—that reality had never belonged to him. For the briefest moment, he had felt whole. He had felt like a father. A husband.

A man who could simply exist in the warmth of those he loved.

#zayne angst #lnds zayne #dr zayne #love and deepspace zayne #zayne x reader #li shen #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace #l&ds zayne #doctor zayne #snow angel series #makirolls #angst #lnds x reader

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months ago

Text

There’s no such thing as “shareholder supremacy”

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!

Here's a cheap trick: claim that your opponents' goals are so squishy and qualitative that no one will ever be able to say whether they've been succeeded or failed, and then declare that your goals can be evaluated using crisp, objective criteria.

This is the whole project of "economism," the idea that politics, with its emphasis on "fairness" and other intangibles, should be replaced with a mathematical form of economics, where every policy question can be reduced to an equation…and then "solved":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/28/imagine-a-horse/#perfectly-spherical-cows-of-uniform-density-on-a-frictionless-plane

Before the rise of economism, it was common to speak of its subjects as "political economy" or even "moral philosophy" (Adam Smith, the godfather of capitalism, considered himself a "moral philosopher"). "Political economy" implicitly recognizes that every policy has squishy, subjective, qualitative dimensions that don't readily boil down to math.

For example, if you're asking about whether people should have the "freedom" to enter into contracts, it might be useful to ask yourself how desperate your "free" subject might be, and whether the entity on the other side of that contract is very powerful. Otherwise you'll get "free contracts" like "I'll sell you my kidneys if you promise to evacuate my kid from the path of this wildfire."

The problem is that power is hard to represent faithfully in quantitative models. This may seem like a good reason to you to be skeptical of modeling, but for economism, it's a reason to pretend that the qualitative doesn't exist. The method is to incinerate those qualitative factors to produce a dubious quantitative residue and do math on that:

https://locusmag.com/2021/05/cory-doctorow-qualia/

Hence the famous Ely Devons quote: "If economists wished to study the horse, they wouldn’t go and look at horses. They’d sit in their studies and say to themselves, ‘What would I do if I were a horse?’"

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/27/economism/#what-would-i-do-if-i-were-a-horse

The neoliberal revolution was a triumph for economism. Neoliberal theorists like Milton Friedman replaced "political economy" with "law and economics," the idea that we should turn every one of our complicated, nuanced, contingent qualitative goals into a crispy defined "objective" criteria. Friedman and his merry band of Chicago School economists replaced traditional antitrust (which sought to curtail the corrupting power of large corporations) with a theory called "consumer welfare" that used mathematics to decide which monopolies were "efficient" and therefore good (spoiler: monopolists who paid Friedman's pals to do this mathematical analysis always turned out to be running "efficient" monopolies):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/20/we-should-not-endure-a-king/

One of Friedman's signal achievements was the theory of "shareholder supremacy." In 1970, the New York Times published Friedman's editorial "The Social Responsibility of Business Is to Increase Its Profits":

https://www.nytimes.com/1970/09/13/archives/a-friedman-doctrine-the-social-responsibility-of-business-is-to.html

In it, Friedman argued that corporate managers had exactly one job: to increase profits for shareholders. All other considerations – improving the community, making workers' lives better, donating to worthy causes or sponsoring a little league team – were out of bounds. Managers who wanted to improve the world should fund their causes out of their paychecks, not the corporate treasury.

Friedman cloaked his hymn to sociopathic greed in the mantle of objectivism. For capitalism to work, corporations have to solve the "principal-agent" problem, the notoriously thorny dilemma created when one person (the principal) asks another person (the agent) to act on their behalf, given the fact that the agent might find a way to line their own pockets at the principal's expense (for example, a restaurant server might get a bigger tip by offering to discount diners' meals).

Any company that is owned by stockholders and managed by a CEO and other top brass has a huge principal-agent problem, and yet, the limited liability, joint-stock company had produced untold riches, and was considered the ideal organization for "capital formation" by Friedman et al. In true economismist form, Friedman treated all the qualitative questions about the duty of a company as noise and edited them out of the equation, leaving behind a single, elegant formulation: "a manager is doing their job if they are trying to make as much money as possible for their shareholders."

Friedman's formulation was a hit. The business community ran wild with it. Investors mistook an editorial in the New York Times for an SEC rulemaking and sued corporate managers on the theory that they had a "fiduciary duty" to "maximize shareholder value" – and what's more, the courts bought it. Slowly and piecemeal at first, but bit by bit, the idea that rapacious greed was a legal obligation turned into an edifice of legal precedent. Business schools taught it, movies were made about it, and even critics absorbed the message, insisting that we needed to "repeal the law" that said that corporations had to elevate profit over all other consideration (not realizing that no such law existed).

It's easy to see why shareholder supremacy was so attractive for investors and their C-suite Renfields: it created a kind of moral crumple-zone. Whenever people got angry at you for being a greedy asshole, you could shrug and say, "My hands are tied: the law requires me to run the business this way – if you don't believe me, just ask my critics, who insist that we must get rid of this law!"

In a long feature for The American Prospect, Adam M Lowenstein tells the story of how shareholder supremacy eventually came into such wide disrepute that the business lobby felt that it had to do something about it:

https://prospect.org/power/2024-09-17-ponzi-scheme-of-promises/

It starts in 2018, when Jamie Dimon and Warren Buffett decried the short-term, quarterly thinking in corporate management as bad for business's long-term health. When Washington Post columnist Steve Pearlstein wrote a column agreeing with them and arguing that even moreso, businesses should think about equities other than shareholder returns, Jamie Dimon lost his shit and called Pearlstein to call it "the stupidest fucking column I’ve ever read":

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/06/07/will-ending-quarterly-earnings-guidance-free-ceos-to-think-long-term/

But the dam had broken. In the months and years that followed, the Business Roundtable would adopt a series of statements that repudiated shareholder supremacy, though of course they didn't admit it. Rather, they insisted that they were clarifying that they'd always thought that sometimes not being a greedy asshole could be good for business, too. Though these statements were nonbinding, and though the CEOs who signed them did so in their personal capacity and not on behalf of their companies, capitalism's most rabid stans treated this as an existential crisis.

Lowenstein identifies this as the forerunner to today's panic over "woke corporations" and "DEI," and – just as with "woke capitalism" – the whole thing amounted to a a PR exercise. Lowenstein links to several studies that found that the CEOs who signed onto statements endorsing "stakeholder capitalism" were "more likely to lay off employees during COVID-19, were less inclined to contribute to pandemic relief efforts, had 'higher rates of environmental and labor-related compliance violations,”' emitted more carbon into the atmosphere, and spent more money on dividends and buybacks."

One researcher concluded that "signing this statement had zero positive effect":

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/08/companies-stand-solidarity-are-licensing-themselves-discriminate/614947

So shareholder supremacy isn't a legal obligation, and statements repudiating shareholder supremacy don't make companies act any better.

But there's an even more fundamental flaw in the argument for the shareholder supremacy rule: it's impossible to know if the rule has been broken.

The shareholder supremacy rule is an unfalsifiable proposition. A CEO can cut wages and lay off workers and claim that it's good for profits because the retained earnings can be paid as a dividend. A CEO can raise wages and hire more people and claim it's good for profits because it will stop important employees from defecting and attract the talent needed to win market share and spin up new products.

A CEO can spend less on marketing and claim it's a cost-savings. A CEO can spend more on marketing and claim it's an investment. A CEO can eliminate products and call it a savings. A CEO can add products and claim they're expansions into new segments. A CEO can settle a lawsuit and claim they're saving money on court fees. A CEO can fight a lawsuit through to the final appeal and claim that they're doing it to scare vexatious litigants away by demonstrating their mettle.

CEOs can use cheaper, inferior materials and claim it's a savings. They can use premium materials and claim it's a competitive advantage that will produce new profits. Everything a company does can be colorably claimed as an attempt to save or make money, from sponsoring the local little league softball team to treating effluent to handing ownership of corporate landholdings to perpetual trusts that designate them as wildlife sanctuaries.

Bribes, campaign contributions, onshoring, offshoring, criminal conspiracies and conference sponsorships – there's a business case for all of these being in line with shareholder supremacy.

Take Boeing: when the company smashed its unions and relocated key production to scab plants in red states, when it forced out whistleblowers and senior engineers who cared about quality, when it outsourced design and production to shops around the world, it realized a savings. Today, between strikes, fines, lawsuits, and a mountain of self-inflicted reputational harm, the company is on the brink of ruin. Was Boeing good to its shareholders? Well, sure – the shareholders who cashed out before all the shit hit the fan made out well. Shareholders with a buy-and-hold posture (like the index funds that can't sell their Boeing holdings so long as the company is in the S&P500) got screwed.

Right wing economists criticize the left for caring too much about "how big a slice of the pie they're getting" rather than focusing on "growing the pie." But that's exactly what Boeing management did – while claiming to be slaves to Friedman's shareholder supremacy. They focused on getting a bigger slice of the pie, screwing their workers, suppliers and customers in the process, and, in so doing, they made the pie so much smaller that it's in danger of disappearing altogether.

Here's the principal-agent problem in action: Boeing management earned bonuses by engaging in corporate autophagia, devouring the company from within. Now, long-term shareholders are paying the price. Far from solving the principal-agent problem with a clean, bright-line rule about how managers should behave, shareholder supremacy is a charter for doing whatever the fuck a CEO feels like doing. It's the squishiest rule imaginable: if someone calls you cruel, you can blame the rule and say you had no choice. If someone calls you feckless, you can blame the rule and say you had no choice. It's an excuse for every season.

The idea that you can reduce complex political questions – like whether workers should get a raise or whether shareholders should get a dividend – to a mathematical rule is a cheap sleight of hand. The trick is an obvious one: the stuff I want to do is empirically justified, while the things you want are based in impossible-to-pin-down appeals to emotion and its handmaiden, ethics. Facts don't care about your feelings, man.

But it's feelings all the way down. Milton Friedman's idol-worshiping cult of shareholder supremacy was never about empiricism and objectivity. It's merely a gimmick to make greed seem scientifically optimal.

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/18/falsifiability/#figleaves-not-rubrics/a>

#pluralistic #chevron deference #loper bright #scotus #stakeholder capitalism #boeing #economism #economics #milton friedman #shareholder supremacy #fiduciary duty #business #we cant have nice things #shareholder capitalism

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hollowed-theory-hall · 2 months ago

Note

Do you think the colour of a polyjuice potion says anything about a person?? I just remembered that Harry's turned a bright gold and wondered if it meant anything

Yes, I think the color does say something about a person (and also the taste). We know different people cause the potion to turn different color and taste:

“Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry,” said Hermione, before catching sight of Ron’s raised eyebrows, blushing slightly, and saying, “Oh, you now what I mean—Goyle’s potion looked like bogies.”

(DH, Ch4)

So, let's look at all the Polyjuice potions we see.

Harry Potter:

Harry dropped the hair into the mudlike liquid. The moment it made contact with its surface, the potion began to froth and smoke, then, all at once, it turned a clear, bright gold. [...] Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur, and Mundungus drank. All of them gasped and grimaced as the potion hit their throats.

(DH, Ch4)

Bellatrix Lestrange:

“She tasted disgusting, worse than Gurdyroots! Okay, Ron, come here so I can do you . . . .”

(DH, Ch26)

Mafalda Hopkirk:

Hermione drank the Polyjuice Potion, which was now a pleasant heliotrope color [purple]

(DH, Ch12)

Millicent Bulstrode's Cat:

The potion hissed loudly like a boiling kettle and frothed madly. A second later, it had turned a sick sort of yellow

(CoS, Ch12)

Vincent Crabbe:

Crabbe’s a dark, murky brown.

(CoS, Ch12)

Gregory Goyle:

Goyle’s turned the khaki color of a booger

[...]

Pinching his nose, Harry drank the potion down in two large gulps. It tasted like overcooked cabbage

(CoS, Ch12)

And Ron actually calls the Polyjuice someone's "essence":

“Urgh — essence of Millicent Bulstrode,” said Ron, eyeing it with loathing. “Bet it tastes disgusting.”

(CoS, Ch12)

And I think he isn't far off.

I think Polyjuice does reveal the "essence" of a person in a way.

Hair and nail clippings have been used in irl alchemy (there are theories that the "hair" is a code name to refer to other minerals and it's sometimes unclear, but sometimes it definitely refers to hair. Really depends on the book) for centuries. Now, hairrepresents a residue of the body. When taken from a living person (like with polyjuice) the hair would represent the person, who they are.

Albertus Magnus (13th-century alchemist) wrote that more gold can be found in the hair taken from a human's head. Now, the gold he wrote about isn't actually gold, but gold in alchemy refers to purity. Basically, human head hair is good for extracting the pure essence of a person. Like Aristotle, he calls hair mostly a mix of Earth and Water — the elements of the physical plane, the body. But head hair, specifically, due to it's closeness to the brain is more than just the physical aspect. It's mostly the physical aspects, but it includes elements of the spirit of the person.

So, head hair is the best way alchemically to get the purest essence of someone's appearance (body and a bit of spirit).

So what do we learn about characters from their polyjuice?

Well, bitter people, taste bitter. Crabbe, Goyle, Millicent, and Bellatrix all tasted terrible according to the Golden Trio. They tasted terrible because they were terrible people.

What I want to note a bit here, is that Harry's didn't taste great either. Better than Crabbe, Goyle, or Bellatrix, but the Order is still described as gasping and grimacing at the taste. My guess, due to the language used, is that the taste of Harry's polyjuice wasn't exactly bad, per se, but was kinda strong and unexpected. What the taste was, we unfortunately don't know, nor could I find the color of the potion for Bellatrix (my guess would be an almost black dark green that's a bit translucent like you added a bit of coloring to water). But, let's look at the colors we do have.

Crabbe - Murkey Brown. Goyle - khaki color (both shades of brown), Millicent's cat - sickly yellow, Mafalda - a pleasant deep purple, and Harry is gold, but I'll keep him for last.

Brown (both Crabbe and Goyle) is reliable, simple, stable, and consistent. But it's also boring, dull, timid, and predictable. Since both are described as ugly browns, the intention is to evoke the negative symbolism of brown.

Yellow can be optimistic, intelligent, and warm, but it can also be cowardly and deceptive. Millicent's cat's yellow is specifically described as a sickly yellow — so, to me, it suggests her cat's unpleasant. But it's also not a potion meant to be used with animal hair, so who knows.

A purple like Mafalda's is interesting. It's described as a nice color, the positive symbolism of purple includes: wisdom, compassion, and royalty. But purple can also symbolize: oversensitivity, immaturity, or hypervigilance. I think, what it says about Mafalda is that she is a pleasant and compassionate person who is just invested in a shitty institution (the ministry). From the color of her potion, it seems she isn't a bad person. Additionally, heliotropes represent the sun, fire, and abundance — positive things.

Now, Harry's potion tuning gold is one of these really interesting things. You see, in Alchemy gold is everything that is pure and good and perfect. Gold is the purest form all materials want to achieve. The Philosopher's Stone, the symbol of immortality and perfection (it's the perfect material), can turn anything into gold. The Elixer of Life produced from the stone, in theory, would be in gold in color. Gold is the color of immortality and purity and perfection. It's the sun and fire and life and abundance and good fortune. Gold is the cure-all and be-all. Alchemists considered it indestructible, pure, and perfect:

But the alchemists were most deeply impressed by its apparent indestructibility: it does not tarnish in air or water, is not appreciably volatilized or oxidized in melting, and is not attacked by any chemical reagent then available. It was therefore regarded as the 'perfect' metal.

(Prof. Dorthy Wyckoff note in her translation of The Book of Minerals by Albertus Magnus)

This honestly really strengthens my theory that Harry was always the Master of Death. If the color that represents Harry's essence (his body and spirit, aka life) is gold — the color of immortality, perfection, and purity — it means he already is in his perfected form. He already is the philosopher Stone AKA Master of Death.

See, in alchemy, in the process of making the Philosopher's Stone, the alchemist is also working on themselves. The work is both on the minerals and on the alchemist. The alchemist would become their perfect, purest self while doing the "Great Work" and would only be able to create the Philosopher's Stone when they themselves, are also their purest ("golden") selves.

What I'm saying is that Harry, by his essence being bright gold, is implied to already be there at the perfection point. He is already at the point where he could make the Philosopher's Stone. So, him being the MoD and already sorta immortal, just really fits that.

Even in the world of HP the color "gold" is associated with immortality. The fire from Harry and Voldemort's wands is gold because of the Phoenix Feather core. Phoenix's in HP are associated with gold, which also connects gold to immortality. Again, this all hints at Harry being the MoD all along.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #anonymous #hollowedtheory #harry potter meta #harry james potter #hp magical theory #alchemy #bellatrix lestrange #gregory goyle #vincent crabbe

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