#then about how awful her brother is
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I'm realising maybe the reason people generalise is sometimes because if something is general, if it is all of one gender for example that does something, then it's natural that x person in their life hurt them by doing that because 'it's in their nature' and to have it not generalised means that someone you love did something which hurt you and they could have not done that. Therefore they decide it is easier to decide all of one gender is bad because it reduces the hurt you feel. 'My dad left because that's what dad's do' 'my mother antagonised and made arguments worse because women are like that'
And when you generalise like that, you learn to not treat any situation with nuance, and every story must have 'horrible people' and 'the poor people trying to do the right thing' even if in another story the poor right people become bad, because that's a different story, and someone else can be the bad guy today
#been hearing a lot of stuff from someone i know recently#theres a lot of very...generalised statements and storiea#a lot of misogyny#a lot of evidence that there is a more complicated narrative in some of these stories but its easier to say 'they are bad we are good'#its kind of exhausting#been listening to my half sister talk about how terrible her mother is#then about how awful her brother is#and then tout 'why don't they make logical connections?'#and lead it to 'maybe your brother learnt this behaviour from your mum?'#and also taught him that love is someone controlling you so maybe THAT’S why he keeps ending up with controlling partners?#its like my sister and her mum got to 1970-1990 time and went#yep that's good we'll stay here now#when i visit my siblings they each just make me feel kind of sad#not in a pitying way just#they all seem to have very deep seated hurt from a lot of life experiences and are very bad at showing themselves love#or being vulnerable in any capacity that could help them#what i mean is letting people in to be close in any way that isn’t a partner#and they all like trauma dumping when i see them too#they make me sad#mango vents#vent post
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Cal and Trilla are such an underrated comedic duo and it’s a damn shame we didn’t get to see them work together
Like hello?? Trilla asking Cal about the holocron, hearing him just ignite his lightsaber in response and giving the most deadpan, sarcastic “outstanding.” Not a day goes by when I don’t think about this. Fucking. Hilarious.
They would be such an immensely funny sarky duo of Star Wars just had the balls to give them to us.
We were ROBBED I tell you. Robbed of the most sarcastic, scathing comedic duo of the century. The sassy padawan siblings we deserved but never got.
The similarities in driving too?? 💀
IMMENSELY funny.
The annoyed big sister vibes and annoying little brother vibes I get from them are so good godammit. I deserved nightmare siblings Cal and Trilla.
#cal kestis#jedi fallen order#jedi survivor#trilla suduri#second sister#NOT SHIP!!!!#Cal and Trilla are siblings#Junda lineage and their awful fucking driving skills and incredible sass#in another universe Trilla is grumbling about Cal’s recklessness as she patches her little brother up. just think about it#what did I call these siblings again?#inquisitor trauma support group?#the traffic light bunch?#parental issues committee#o66 survivors anonymous#went to the fortress Inquisitorius and all I got what this stupid trauma#padawans that deserved better#Cere Junda’s leash kids#really very interested in how Trilla was like before she was tortured. was she always this sassy and ambitious
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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉
I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual
#loz#wind waker#legend of zelda#toon link#aryll#I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this#and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe#arylls like big brother use a damn fork#<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018#also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak#r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery#and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus#i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk#im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again#he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient#im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i#thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me#i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better#why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6#i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE
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bobby & david kennedy
“There was some level on which David tapped his father’s sensitivity. You would find him walking with David or with his arm around David. David just seemed to need it.”
— chuck mcdermott.
“If his father’s death hit David harder than the others, it was because there had been a special bond between them—both were the runts of the litter, sandwiched into the middle of a large family. He was the only one in the family who hadn’t been enthusiastic about the run for the presidency. For weeks after his father’s announcement, David had been plagued by recurring nightmares about Bobby’s death. Distraught over episodes that seemed premonitory, and missing the special attention his father had given him, David had gotten in trouble for throwing rocks at cars passing by Hickory Hill. The day of the California primary, he had joined his father in Los Angeles. The two of them had been swimming and he had felt himself being carried out by the undertow when his father grabbed him, scraping his own head on the ocean floor as he reached for David’s slippery arm. With a teenager’s melodrama, David had decided that he owed his father a life and would look for an opportunity to pay him back in the years ahead. That night as he sat in front of the television set in his room in the Ambassador Hotel and watched [his father] bleeding on the floor downstairs, one of the thoughts he had was that the debt would be forever undischarged.”
“As the worst year of their young lives came to a close, they decided to surprise their mother at Christmas with a book comprised of letters about their father. David’s said: ‘Daddy was very funny in church because he would embarrass all of us by singing very loud. Daddy did not have a very good voice. There will be no more football with Daddy, no more swimming with him, no more riding and no more camping with him. But he was the best father there ever was and I would rather have him for a father for the length of time I did than any other father for a million years.”
— the kennedy’s, peter collier & david horowitz.
“David looked at himself in those pictures like they were a strange sort of mirror. He looked at them half a dozen times at least, mesmerized by them, and he kept asking me questions. There was a tremendous desire to know his father, to really know him.”
— john seigenthaler.
“David and Bobby were so close. They were inseparable. David was small, a runt like Bobby had been.” Ethel then explained to Noelle (her secretary) that David had always been a very sensitive youngster, very introverted, "not like the other boys. He and I would go and pick flowers while his brothers were killing each other with their crazy games", Ethel recalled with a smile.
— ethel kennedy.
“I think about death a lot. Time hasn’t erased the death of my father from my mind. My family thinks I’m no good and that I’ll never beat my problem. They’ve written me off. I’m trying to get it together, but it’s so difficult. I’m having a terrible time at it. And the thing I want most in the world is the approval of my family, but they want nothing to do with me. All I want is to be with my father.”
— david kennedy, april 1984.
“Like his family, his friends had all wondered at one time or another if he would kill himself; but when it finally came his death was nonetheless shocking. ‘I keep asking myself why. Why David? Why now? All I can come up with is that maybe his father was looking down from heaven and saw all the hell these people were putting him through and said, ‘Come on, You’ve suffered enough. It’s time you were up here with me.’”
— nancy narleski.
Years after David Kennedy’s death, his cousin, Patrick Kennedy recalled a haunting and heartbreaking recollection he had with his father, Teddy, sitting beside his cousin’s casket: “My father remembered Bobby telling him that, as a father, he needed to spend more time with David. He also recounted a story Uncle Bobby had told him just before his own death. On the day before the California primary, the Robert Kennedys had gone swimming in Malibu, to relax together. David had been knocked over by a wave and got caught in the undertow, and his father had come to his rescue. When Uncle Bobby told my father this story, he talked about ‘the undertow’ in broader terms, how there was an undertow in life and David, who was only then thirteen, already seemed vulnerable to it. And then, just hours later, Uncle Bobby was murdered as David watched the TV coverage in their hotel room upstairs. It was unbelievably poignant to hear my father tell this story. David was in the casket next to us. And I wasn’t that much older than David when his father worried whether he could survive the undertow.”
#the fifth photo where he’s caressing david’s cheek …..#every time i think about bobby & david my heart cracks a little#the way that he was iced out by the kennedy's bc of his drug addiction is so heartbreaking. but is it surprising? not really#ofc i understand that trying to help someone with an addiction is never easy and warrants a whole other conversation#i remember reading ab how kathleen tried to help as she was the oldest but other ppl in the family dissuaded her from it after a while#chris lawford talked ab how eunice once got him out of trouble but was incredibly angry at how the family had neglected their own children#said something about how 'we're so good at taking care of other ppl's problems but absolutely awful at looking after our own'#so i'm moreso side-eyeing ppl like rfk jr who actively benefitted in painting david as the black sheep#or just Didn't Care bc it reflected badly on them.#david was made to feel unimporant in the family when anyone who met him said he was Always the brightest of bobby’s children#which made his downward mental spiral all the more tragic to those sympathetic to him#and it kind of kills me bc he really was so much like Bobby who grew up only ever wanting his family’s love and approval#who as a young man was also so angry at the world & depressed but then was slowly sucked out of its intensity bc of ethel’s love and suppor#and because he found purpose through fatherhood and public service#but david never had the opportunity to have those things or that type of support#not after he lost his father who he felt was the only one who understood & cared for him and gave him that support#david later revealed to peter collier & David Horowitz that his brothers even called him a traitor which had left him in tears#and he was only further ostracized by the family for talking to those biographers and telling them the actual truth#moral of the story: bobby and david kennedy deserved better#rfk#bobby kennedy#david kennedy#kennedy family
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.
+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)
#pathologic#pathologic 2#andrey stamatin#yulia lyuricheva#eva yan#evandrey#yulieva#evaandrey#Eva yahn#Andrei Stamatin#see I think that Eva is very okay with Eva being how she is- promiscuous and spreading her love (Maybe a little jealous but more rooted in#self loathing and insecurities)#and she’s like look I’m okay with this whole open relationship (technically we aren’t in a relationship even though I really want to be)#thing BUT why HIM. I have to work with him and he’s by far the worst man I’ve ever worked with (besides maybe his brother because at least#Andrey actually talks but really they’re a package deal anyways) I need to have meetings with him often and it’s horrendous every time#like spread your love it’s noble really.#I wouldn’t expect anything else from you#but maybe give him less he’s annoying as hell#I also think that she’d figure out pretty quickly that Andrey and Peter killed Farkhad#just bcuz like. yk she’s there. she’s seen the already shaky relationship crumble beyond repair. she’s seen them argue in meetings.#she knows the stamatwins are not above murder. especially for art. and she’s clever.#And andrey knows that so he doesn’t try to hide it. she doesn’t have recourse anyways-#the kains (who I think helped cover up the murder) employ her too#and andrey respects her to a degree- he assumes she’ll see reason.#and honesty. Yulia might be upset that Andrey killed one of the only other architects but also she does not miss him that much.#she’s like I don’t agree with this whole murder thing but you are kind of right he had to go he was getting on my nerves#the meetings will be 10x more tolerable now that the twins can’t argue with him about things that aren’t even real#it’s awful but it did drive Eva further into my arms so necessary evils.#my art#sorry for the essay in the tags.
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Butler learns of Grindr and then decides it is not for him on the same day. The whole "collects [one's] location info within a 100m radius of accuracy" dimension is, perhaps, Not Great for a bodyguard. However, Juliet discovers that Butler deleted the app before he even attempted to make an account, and she sighs. Beseeching her brother, she tries, "Look, with the whole... 'compromising our position', or whatever we're calling it: Artemis has lived a good... longish life. Maybe... it's time to let go," while Artemis makes a face at being discussed in much the same tone one deploys when euphemistically describing a pet about to be put down due to a terminal illness.
#Artemis did get her brother shot so in my mind Juliet has the right to joke about Artemis dying a looney tunes-style#death the second Butler looks away#do you ever think about how terrible Artemis was at age 13 to service workers... why did butler not step in as the adult every time#there was one of those 'no ice in my filtered water because i know the ice cubes are from tap water :)' moments... awful....#artemis fowl
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30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41
#wtFOCK#Skam#Zoë Loockx#Senne De Smet#Zoenne#LOVE HURTS#Veerle Dejaeger#Nathan Naenen#wtFOCKEdit#SkamverseDaily#SkamRemakesEdit#s3#3x08#I remember people coming to talk to me about this clip the day it dropped bc they were happy about it and I was like…#have we watched the same clip? excuse me I’m still picking up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor#no but really I understand them both so deeply here it’s the worsttttt 💔#first she’s making the right decision but that doesn’t make it a happy moment. it’s SO SAD SHE IS HAVING TO MAKE THIS DECISION SHE’S 16!#OFC if we were still in Zoë’s POV this would have never been an issue but the writers really thought they’d convince me +#my babies had unlearned how to communicate SMH they were the best at it okay? this right here is EFFING BULLSHIT#but considering it’s what they were going for I get why they’re acting the way they’re acting and it hurts#because Zoë thinks Senne wants for her to make Viktor pay for everything he’s done wrong in his life and she’s feeling like her own trauma#and how hard it still is for her to talk about it isn’t being acknowledged by him…#and Senne oh he really wants her to do it bc 1- he feels that what went on is his fault & he desperately needs his half brother to PAY +#FOR WHAT HE DID TO HER! HE’S KNOWN THE GUY HIS WHOLE LIFE (PROBABLY KNOWS THE ACCIDENT IN THE PAST MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL ACCIDENT)#they have history and that makes everything even more awful bc he doesn’t understand why Zoë doesn’t feel like testifying#I don't believe that Senne would have been this incisive hadn't he ~known~ her ab*ser#I mean I think he would have accepted her decision way more easily if he didn't feel responsible for what happened 😔#she’s been feeling all alone in her anguish and at the same time starts pushing him away#it’s painful to see how the two of them are trying here. He’s so trying to support her no matter what#and she’s so trying to be strong for herself but her eyes are teary she can barely look at him it’s too much 😭❤️🩹
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Favorite Horror Novels I Read in 2023:
#horror#horror novel#i need a reading tag#horror books#mister magic#dark harvest#the cabin at the end of the world#camp damascus#i think Brother was the most surprising for me in how much i loved its awful nastiness and gut punch ending#but props to Rachel Harrison for making a story about how your mother loves you enough to make you hate her#and never be nostalgic for a home that will gleefully kill you#two out of the three books here have terrible film adaptations#bones and all innocent#especially since Luca Guadagnino worked overtime to make the movie about queer life on the margins#john waters and i agree: timothee was doing his best impersonation of a butch lesbian#also loved that Mister Magic was basically IT fanfiction on a campaign against Mormonism
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So why did Mycroft send Sherlock and John to take Irene's phone? It was bound to be protected by a passcode, so there wouldn't be much point in having it. And once Irene becomes a fugitive, Mycroft makes no attempts to retrieve the phone again despite knowing where she is.
One possible explanation is that Mycroft really did think that this was about nothing more than the scandalous photographs of a royal family member at the beginning. He only realized how dangerous Irene was when he learned what happened at her house and learned that the CIA agents were after her too.
Another possible theory is that Mycroft knew the CIA agents would go after Irene, so he sent Sherlock and John as quickly as he could because he didn't want the phone to be in the hands of those agents. Working with them for the Bond Air project made him see how awful they were; he couldn't let them have any more power than necessary, and they were clearly moronic brutes who would make a botch of the situation. Unfortunately, Mycroft miscalculated and the CIA agents arrived at Irene's house while Sherlock and John were still there.
In either case, Mycroft must have despised the American agents, and the feeling must have been mutual by the end. That CIA guy Sherlock threw out his window must have complained, but Mycroft could very easily ignore his grievances by using the fact that he had hurt an old civilian lady. CIA guy would have been enraged. . . and then, Sherlock became the biggest security leak of two nations. I'm sure CIA guy enthusiastically demanded his head, but Mycroft Holmes somehow still managed to protect his little brother. How infuriating that must have been.
#the fact that mycroft knows where irene is after she becomes a fugitive but the cia agents don't go after her#clearly shows that they're not cooperating with each other to deal with the situation#mycroft would have been so so tired of working with those moronic brutes#lady smallwood and anthea are the only two people who heard him complaining about this#mycroft receiving moriaty's text and wondering how he is going to get through this#and how he is going to protect his brother from the mess he made#furious at sherlock but even more furious at himself for sending sherlock to take the damn phone in the first place#bbc sherlock#bbcherlock#mycroft holmes#sherlock holmes#john watson#irene adler#i'm amused by how the cia agents are depicted to be such awful people in the episode
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k sorry i’m legitimately so insane about pei ming and shi qingxuan though. pei ming as someone who’s not just a womanizer but someone responsible and dear enough to shi wudu for That Man to essentially appoint him as qingxuan’s guardian should anything happen to him… for pei ming to take that responsibility on whole-heartedly, trying to protect shi qingxuan and keep them out of trouble and lead them on the right path even from the very beginning of the story… he’s trying to keep her out of the whole mess with pei su he’s trying to make sure that she does what she needs to do to survive in heaven (she has never learned that one needs to be cruel and unjust to advance because her brother has done all the unjust cruelty for her) he’s trying to make sure that he fulfills that trust that was placed in him and that’s all before there’s even a hint of anything that would incapacitate shi wudu. and sqx sees this and she must know at least some of it but she hates him. just doesn’t like his personality. i am out of my fucking miiiind
#and then neither of them end up being able to fulfill their promise to shi wudu.#pei ming can’t protect her. shi qingxuan doesn’t let herself be protected by him.#and then in the very end it’s shi wudu who enacts the ultimate betrayal of his own requests anyway…#anyway. shi qingxuan who loves her awful brother but can’t stand his awful friend.#i don’t even know how to describe shi wudu and pei ming’s relationship but shi qingxuan sees it and goes 🙄#but goddddd from the very very beginning you can see their relationship!#they are so tangentially related to each other and so important and yet unimportant to each other…#they’re both representations of a part of the other person’s relationship with shi wudu#and like. what do you do when your brother appoints his awful brother as your secondary guardian and that guy starts trying to fulfill that.#and that guy is general ming giang god of the north and god of love and known womanizer. and you are a girl with strong moral values.#i don’t even know how to express what i feel about them it drives me fucking insane though#talking#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#pei ming#shi qingxuan#tgcf sqx#tgcf s2#tgcf spoilers#i guess? i mean. i tend to think that we’ve all read the book at this point. but perhaps that is not true fjskfjd#beefleaf arc spoilers
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Zoey: I need a girlfriend so bad
Surge I need a girlfriend so bad
Zoey: ...
Surge: ...
Surge: Hey Zo-
Zoey: GODDAMN IT
#FUCKING HELL DUDE#Zoey x Surge entirely being killed by Scourge LOL#its ok theres character#Surge feels like a copy. she desperately wants to be her own person but Scourge is always going to affect how people see her.#Zoey is the only person around who has good memories of Scourge!!! Surge and Zoey talk about who scourge really was#Its the first time Surge actually hears about Scourge as a person instead of a concept.#Zoey holds affection for scourge in retrospect so she talks good about him#but also. Since Scourge was kinda like a brother to her (well at least her sisters bf) she doesn't feel comfortable with dating surge#Surge is like “aw man” but they do become friends#anyways i like them#miscellaneous au
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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Fnaf au where William figures out how to actually resurrect cc and then the aftons just have to live with that— not only is cc undead now but dad is freaking victor Frankenstein !! (like, literally, I imagine William discovered how to harvest remnant from recently deceased corpses rather then killing anyone himself, thus the mci doesn’t happen and Charlie doesn’t die either)
They just have to pretend this is normal and fine
#I imagine it’s especially awful for cc and Micheal I mean#think about how odd that is for cc#most of him are the original parts but many internal organs had to be replaced#the parts that become unusable quicker..#he looks the same on the outside but he knows the difference. he knows something is very different#furthermore he wouldn’t age normally#if he ever wanted to look older he’d have to add new parts.. new bones and skin#and I imagine that’s a disturbing prospect for him so he’d avoid it at all cost#trapped in an unageing body for presumably eternity#and then theirs Micheal#while the whole family grieved Michael’s grief was in tandem with guilt#he killed his brother- it’s his fault this happened#but then he just.. came back.. as if it didn’t happen? how is Micheal supposed to be ok with that#how can you ever reverse the death of someone in your mind when you’ve already lived the grief?#I wonder how this would effect Williams relationship with his family#Clara I’m sure would be upset with him for not telling her#like he was digging up corpses and experimenting with forces beyond human comprehension#and he didn’t think for even a second “maybe I should tell my wife??”#she’s worried she’s not getting the full story- that’s it’s worse then he’s telling her#and I think Williams relationship with his kids would change too#Elizabeth could go either way but maybe she’d side with him#she in her naivety would believe that it’s a good thing#cc is alive! isn’t that what matters? didn’t you miss him? aren’t you happy he’s back?#I’m gonna cap this here#I’ve been going on too long
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read the michaelanglo macro issue and ohhh my fucking god ojhhhhh my god
anyway. this page was really cute
#I HAVE. SO MANY THOUGHTS.#so wooo ramble in the tags#how splinter talks to leo actually makes me so ill#also the way the three of them try to justify the children in the foot clan is so interesting#raphael saying how it would be good for self defense because he was on the streets knowing Nothing and had no support#the children being a part of the foot is awful but at least they won’t be on the streets alone#and then donnie and leo knowing there’s no where else with resources and they just Can’t say no to splinter#i got my jenny crumbs too. i’m so excited to see more of her#and godddd just everything about mikey. i really enjoy the amount of love and care idw puts into his character#he misses the father he knew and he’s not afraid to stand up to the man he is now#‘you’re Worse than shredder’ OUGH.#and then his brothers cheering him on after winning :) he did what they couldn’t do!#i’m so excited to see what splinter’s future holds. i really hope this gets through his head that he need to change (i am coping and hoping)#ok ramble over#idw#idw mikey#idw leo#tmnt idw#idw tmnt#tmnt#turtle talks
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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