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crab-instruments · 3 years ago

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Of Rats and Men Part 5

Master <Part 4 Part 6>

Pairing: Silco x Female Reader

Rating/Warning: teen, violence

Summary: You are a traveling medic, journeying between Piltover and Zaun. One night, you stumble upon a man and take him in. His presence causes havoc on your practice. Set between Act I & Act II.

Beta Reader: @unfocusedfish

a/n: I don't know shit about LoL outside of what I've picked up from other fics and the show. Needed a dick character, figured someone from the Ferros Clan would do.

For: @imalovernotahater

“Remind me again how you broke your arm, Jinx?” The Loose Cannon had tears at the corner of her eyes, promptly looking at the wall. The room you now called your practice was barren, you hadn’t had a chance to make it more comfortable other than keeping it tidy.

Since you propositioned Silco, he gave you this room within The Last Drop temporarily. He wanted to build a practice from the ground up for you. You argued that it wasn’t necessary, but it was difficult to change Silco’s mind once it was set. The interim practice had most of what you needed, except for space.

When word got around the Para-Medic was now located in Zaun, patients new and old gradually came to see you. Many who understood what happened quietly offered condolences for the loss of your home while a handful of others expressed their furious disapproval for the violation of the haven you created. However, it was an unanimous opinion among them that your decision to move to the Undercity and continue your work was valued and appreciated.

Silco happily sent his lackies to you when they had injuries. He confessed it was ‘so hard to find good help these days,’ and that he would rather ‘patch up the loyal ones instead of gambling on new blood.’ He visited frequently and watched you work, probably to get away from his own work, you guessed. Some days it felt like all Silco wanted was your attention, asking questions and observing your work carefully. At first, you thought it was out of curiosity. The Kingpin was a smart man, he could be interested in picking up first-aid, or he was checking up on his investment.

It was when the banter started that you considered Silco had another motive. You wouldn’t call it flirting, exactly. In truth, you had no idea what it was, but you enjoyed it. Every once and a while, you’d push your teasing, wondering if you went too far at his expense. Even the patient in the room would tense on your behalf, waiting to see the man’s response. But after a few beats of silence, Silco would give a silent chuckle and come back with a wittier, more devastating comeback, breaking the tension.

This was not the same Silco that was in your practice when Jinx was injured.

“She said she was ambushed by the idiotic Firelights. Caught her when she least expected it, but my Jinx got away with merely a broken arm.” Your hands stopped wrapping her broken arm to look at Jinx’s face. Her expression was guilt ridden and she was abnormally quiet while Silco sang her praises. You glanced at him, who had a calming hand in the injured girl’s blue hair. “Even empty handed, my daughter is still deadly.” Jinx’s mouth became a smooth, tight line as she blinked away more tears. From the pain or the obvious lies, you weren’t sure.

It wasn’t like you to push. You did tell patients how important it was to be truthful for the best care, but at some point, it was on them to be open.

With Jinx, however, you felt compelled to extract the truth. It was partially because of Silco and how it felt like you owed him for everything. That was the answer you would tell yourself instead of how it filled you with joy to see Silco be a doting father and how you had grown to care for Jinx without Silco’s influence. By her demeanor, the broken arm was the only injury she thought she couldn’t hide. Her expressions reminded you of the fear she had when you had first met her, a daughter who didn’t want to disappoint her father.

“Silco, could you get me more gauze and tape? I forgot to bring them up with me when I was doing inventory.”

Silco looked at you with a raised eyebrow but you held his gaze. His expression was skeptical, interpreting your move, planning his next one. Once he had completed his calculations, Silco stood and gave a solemn nod before turning and leaving. The door shut with a quiet click.

You moved your attention back to Jinx. “So, what really happened?” She peered at you from the corner of her eye, opening and closing her mouth without saying anything. “Your breathing has been short and irregular, you have a bruise blooming on your other hip, and you may be able to hide the limp from your father, but I was trained to look for it.”

Jinx bit her lip and her eyes fluttered closed, held tightly shut. The little movements she made with her head reminded you of an animal listening to the surrounding sounds. You recalled when you first met her, she was fighting demons you couldn’t see, in a similar mental state. “Jinx. It’s okay, you’re safe now. I only want to know so I can accurately treat you. I won’t tell Silco.” Her eyes open wide.

“I-I… One of the Chem-Barons that has been on Silco’s nerves… I went to their place. The one… who wears too much cologne. What’s their face… anyway, I just was going to disrupt a few things, so they would need to make the deal with Silco. I-I sabotaged their shimmer supply but I heard something I shouldn’t have.”

“What did you hear?”

She shook her head and continued, pulling in on herself. “I knocked a few boxes over trying to get out. Some of their stupid goons found me and attacked. I got away, obviously but… I-I… I’m worried they might retaliate.”

You searched her face, waiting for something. Finally, you reached out to her uninjured arm, placing your hand softly to reassure her. “If they do, Silco can—”

“What if this is it? What if he leaves me? An-And I’m all alone? What if—”

“Jinx. Your father would turn the world upside down for you. He would never—He adores you. I adore you. Whatever it is, we will—you’ll get through it.” You stood in front of her, running your fingers through her bangs and resting your hand on her jaw. “If anything, you’ll have me.”

Her eyes made contact with yours before she pushed herself into your chest, hugging you with her good arm. The quick movement caught you off guard, almost knocking you off your feet before you responded with an embrace of your own. The door cracked open. Silco walked in, eyes unreadable, before closing the door as quietly as he could.

“Alright, how about we check out the rest of the damage?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Walking through Piltover felt different now. You still blended in well enough, not getting the Undercity stare, yet. The air felt too clean, everything was pristine. Perfect. You don’t remember it being this bright and shiny. It wasn’t that Piltover was worthy of such words, more that it was made to appear this way, gilded and fake. If you looked closer, it was obvious it was as dark as Zaun, but the latter didn’t hide it.

You pushed the large door into the City Hall. The building was grand and old, the history could be seen through the cracks in the marble. City workers shuffled busily, hands full of papers. You ignored the fake smiles from the front desk and followed the signs to the Buildings and Development department. It was time to put the final nail in the coffin of your old life.

The young woman at the desk cheerfully greeted you, not having anything else to do. “How can I help you?”

“I need to sign my lot over to the city. Commercial. It will need some work before the city can sell it, I’ll pay the fee for that now.”

She nodded, “Okay, I’ll need your name and the address so I can find the file.”

When you gave her the information she wanted, her eyes went wide, recognition all over her face. You tried to keep a neutral one yourself as she stood there motionless. “Well? Is there a problem?”

“Oh—Uh, no. Of course not. I’ll be right back.” She scurried off and disappeared behind a door. A suffocating silence fell over the room, only the ticking of a clock and the occasional Hexgate chime filling the air.

The room was decorated in shades of regal blush pinks and teal blues, a byproduct of a past trend. Gold was mixed in throughout, in the marble, in the furniture, no matter what you did you couldn’t escape it. Large windows in every part of the building allowed the sun to reflect off the gold to distract your eyes. The artificial neon lights of The Lanes seemed so much cooler comparatively.

Your attention was pulled to a door opening abruptly behind you, a different office than the front desk worker had left through. Immediately, you’re filled with disgust and your body goes rigid.

“Well, if it isn’t Quack. Or what was it they were calling you now? Para-Medic?”

“Derek Ferros. Wish I could say it was an honor but we both know I’d be lying.”

In just a few steps the bastard had closed the distance between the two of you and he hovered over the desk area. Derek was just as unpleasant as you remember, overconfident and overbearing.

“Heard your stupid little practice burned down. Shame I wasn’t there to watch it happen but it was inevitable. Your self-righteous crusade to bring good to the trenchers was bound to go up in flames. Everyone knew it, and it was cute to try. But now you know what happens when you play with forces you don’t understand.” His smug face was too close to yours and you wanted to break his nose, just like the grunt from before. That wouldn’t fly here, blood wouldn’t go well with all the gold.

The woman from before entered and it broke the staring contest the two of you held. You welcomed the sweep of relief, but her disposition also stiffened. Derek’s malicious attitude was not unique to only you. She set the papers in front of you to fill out, places marked for you to sign.

“What is your next plan, Quack? Have you decided to finally give up your dream of being the savior of the broken? Running home to your parents and going to run for a public works program?” You decided against answering him, unsure of what would actually come out of your mouth. All you could imagine was driving the pen through his neck, so much so that you almost ripped the paper while writing. “Signing your practice over to the city? Such a kindness Piltover would even agree to take it.”

The more he talked, the more you wanted to show the Para-Medic you had been in Silco’s office.

There’s a monster in all of us, you had heard him say once, what’s stopping you?

Placing the pen neatly onto the stack of unfinished papers, you slowly turned towards Derek. He was still talking, a smug look on his face. Wouldn’t you be doing Piltover a service if you removed it off of him?

You quickly grabbed his tie, just below the knot. His words stopped, surprise across his face but his eyes dared you to try anything more. Smoothly, you turned your head towards the worker. “You’ll want to call an Enforcer, one who knows first-aid preferably.” You looked back at Derek from the corner of your eye so he wasn’t ready for you to yank his tie straight down, smacking his face straight onto the front desk marble. There was definitely a cracking sound, his nose, and a long line of curses in your direction.

With your foot, you forced him to lose balance and held him up by his tie, making him look at you. You gave a malicious smile before speaking. “Oops.” You suddenly let go of his tie, letting Derek fall hard on his ass. Blood ran down his face and he made an attempt to grab for something before you stepped on it, the words coming from his mouth becoming incoherent. “You should really watch yourself, tripping like that. Broke your nose and everything.”

Moving back to the papers, you signed them quickly, ignoring the looks. When you got to the final paper, you heard the rushed heavy footfalls of an Enforcer. You sighed, and turned to face the consequences.

The man, Sheriff Marcus, took in the scene quickly. With wide eyes he looked at the mess you made and then back at you a few times before muttering, “Sweet Janna.” He took a few steps towards you, completely ignoring Derek.

“Officer, I—”

“You are Para-Medic?”

Surprised, you blinked. “Yes, I am.”

“He told me to… that…” Marcus looked back at Derek. “I don’t get paid enough for favors like this.”

“Arrest her! She assaulted me!” He was still on the floor, clutching his hand to his chest.

Marcus sighed and cleared his throat. “Based on my assessment, it seems Derek Ferros fell and you may have stepped on his hand accidently. Is that correct?”

“WHAT?”

You didn’t immediately answer, mouth open, but the city worker chimed in first.

“Yes, that’s what happened.” You looked back at her, fear in her eyes. She’s more scared of me than Ferros now. “I’ll get these papers filed right away, nothing left for you to do!” She disappeared quickly.

“Sheriff Marcus—”

“I’ll handle it from here, ma’am, you can be on your way.” The awkwardness of the whole situation kept you in place for a few beats before your feet could move towards the door. “Also,” Marcus called after you, “if you could inform the Industrialist that this is handled, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

You gave a curt nod and headed back towards the bridge.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Last Drop’s deafening music and loud conversations came as a comfort. It allowed your brain to not think about the events that transpired before you came back home. You sat in the balcony area, tucked into a corner where no one would bother you. It became your space, as much as a communal space could become yours.

You twired the pen in your hands, staring down at the blank notepad in front of you. At some point you would have to address what happened in Piltover with Silco. It didn’t surprise you that Sheriff Marcus was in his pocket but why had Silco told him about you? Had Silco expected something to happen?

Digging in your pocket, you pulled out a chess piece, a knight. The conversation in his office gave you a new perspective on your life, so you tried to understand it through that lens. The fire had put you in your place, letting you know you weren’t untouchable. The knight, a player not at the bottom but not worth a protection detail, even if it was just the sheriff. What was Silco’s deal? The Industrialist was as much a mystery as the first time you met him. Each new move on the board created more questions than answers, and, in theory, you were on the same side.

Could it be Silco has different plans for you that you can’t predict yet?

Maybe, you thought, I’m thinking about this too much and letting it get to my head.

“Doc.”

The sound of Sevika’s sharp voice jolted you, the pen in your hand snapping out of your fingers. You looked up at her and realized she wasn’t alone. The man behind her looked familiar and that wasn’t normally a good thing in Zaun.

“What’s up Sevika? Does this guy need medical attention?” His face was cut up pretty badly but it looked older, already healing with a yellow green mixture across his face.

Sevika cleared her throat. “No, but he might. He says he’s looking for ‘The Boss’.”

You scrunched up your eyebrows, unsure of what was happening. “I’m pretty sure Silco is in his office. I don’t know where he is otherwise. You would know better than me.”

She huffed. “I said Silco was busy but he said he didn’t want to talk to ‘that Boss’ and that he had important information to give.”

“I… I don’t understand. Who is he looking for?”

Sevika moved into your space, her eyes a combination of threatening and accusatory. “So, you’re not going around using Silco’s name to get power yourself?”

“What the fuck?” You almost choked on your own spit at the claim. “I don’t even know who—” When you gestured toward the man, you finally recognized him. “You. You’re one of the asshats that burned down my practice. Never caught your name, would Flint suffice?” When you stood, Flint backed up and his eyes dropped to the floor. You blinked, unsure of how to take that. “I have no idea what’s going on, Sevika.”

She looked at you a moment, considering before relaxing and moving back. “Maybe I hit his head a little too hard last time. Either way.” She motioned toward him, allowing you space to talk.

“Did you not cause me enough trouble? Or testing the limits of my patience?”

“N-no. I just—Since then, I’ve been trying to… I heard that there were some Chem Barons planning on forming a sort of alliance against Silco and… You were mentioned. I think they may try to use you against Silco but I don’t… Jinx was also mentioned.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It’s because he needs a new leader to follow.” You looked over at Sevika, head tilting to the side. “You let him live.”

When you looked back over at Flint, he only nodded. You rubbed your face in your hands, sighing. This was too much. “I don’t need… What am I supposed to… Ugh… Can you find out more information?”

“Yes, Boss.”

“No, don’t—No.” Flint walked out of The Last Drop, under new orders.

Part 6

Notes:

Fun fact: the character Para-Medic gets her namesake from, Dr. Clark in MGS3, had the nickname Quack, not because she was a bad doctor, but because she talked too much. I mean, did she go and do some malpractice also? Maybe. From the same game, there is a character known as The Boss, so it was intentional. I have a one track mind, okay?

#of rats and men #crab fics #silco x reader #silco x you #silco x oc #arcane silco #lol silco #silco imagine

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storytellerofuntoldlegends · 3 years ago

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an icarus and his sun: chapter 7

A/N: scott's pov, finally!! as well as more of my "the empires smp gals deserve to go off, actually" agenda. also check out this rad art submitted by @dancinglifeboat! i also would like to apologize ahead of time, the updates from here on out are probably going to slow down a bit because while i am still extremely motivated to write this fic, it hasn't been as high as it was for the upcoming chapters as it has been for the previous ones. i honestly don't even know HOW i was so motivated to write several chapters so fast that i actually had a backlog of them for a bit and was able to post them daily. so the updates will likely slow down to being every couple of days or maybe every couple of weeks, depending on time/motivation. but yeah! anyway, enjoy!

Warnings: lying/manipulation, threats of violence, past violence, arguing, heartbreak

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

Scott felt just about sick to his stomach every time he looked at the slimeball Jimmy had given him. It was such a stupid little thing to get emotional over, and it was honestly kind of gross and sticky. But Scott couldn’t bear to get rid of it. It had stung more than he cared to admit when Jimmy had reminded him of how isolated and distant Scott was from everything. Staying up and away from the world kept him safe, kept his empire safe. But being safe didn’t make it any less lonely and isolating. And then Jimmy had looked at him like he was the world, and told him that he should be able to enjoy the little things too. Scott couldn’t bear to get rid of the slimeball, even though the memories were painful now. For as much as bluntly being reminded that he was alone stung, Jimmy telling him to leave stung even worse.

Looking back on it now, Scott didn’t really know why he had sided with Fwhip. It was long before Scott had really felt anything for Jimmy, mostly flirting with him to get a rise out of him. That flirting had always devolved into fighting, and it was after one particularly nasty argument that Fwhip had pulled him aside after the meeting and talked about how the House Blossom Alliance would be the downfall of their empires. And at the time… Scott had agreed with him. He loved Katherine, he really did- but there were too many rivalries in that alliance for it to ever truly work. So he went along with Fwhip’s plan- go along with the meetings until an opportunity arose. Then came the addendum of Scott keeping an eye on Jimmy to make sure he wouldn’t be a problem. And then came the plan of rigging the ballroom to explode and blame it on another empire. And even worse- Scott actually caught feelings for Jimmy, instead of it being an act like Fwhip had planned.

So before the night of the ball, Scott had struck a deal with Fwhip. If there was no argumentative behavior during the ball, then he wouldn’t set off the TNT. To his surprise and relief, Fwhip had agreed- and then went and purposefully antagonized Jimmy. And Jimmy- sweet, impulsive Jimmy- had fought right back. Scott didn’t get a chance to pull Fwhip aside and convince him to change his mind before Lizzie had asked him for a dance, then spun Jimmy right into his arms. Fwhip had been watching them the entire time they danced, then left as soon as the song ended, heading up the stairs. Scott snuck away from Jimmy to follow him- only for Fwhip to have flown off by the time Scott made his way up the stairs. Then Jimmy followed him too, and once he spotted Fwhip in the distance with his crossbow, Scott realized he had been used to draw Jimmy out. So he kissed Jimmy, and then Fwhip set off the explosions. It was then Scott realized Fwhip had lied to him about the plan- somehow he had rigged Katherine’s entire castle with TNT, not just the ballroom, and wanted to be sure that everyone knew it was Fwhip and the Wither Rose Alliance behind it all. A show of power, so that no one would mess with them.

So now Scott was alone again. Jimmy felt like Scott had betrayed him- and frankly, Scott had. He should have told the House Blossom Alliance about the TNT, instead of striking a weak deal with Fwhip. Now the House Blossom Alliance would never trust him again, and all Scott had now was the Wither Rose Alliance- which Scott wasn’t so sure if he wanted to be a part of anymore. And at their next secret meeting, Scott found out that he wasn’t the only one with this opinion. Usually they met in Gem’s hidden meeting room, but this time around, she insisted on meeting in the Grimlands, not giving a clear reason why. Scott had thought nothing of it, until the time for the meeting actually came.

“I’m done, Fwhip,” Gem said, not even taking a seat at the table. Fwhip leaned back in his chair, raising an eyebrow at Gem.

“What do you mean, you’re ‘done?’” he scoffed. Gem slammed her hands down on the table, purple magic sparking in the air. Everyone in the room had ranging expressions of shock and terror on their faces. Gem never got angry like this, at least not as long as Scott had known her. Fwhip, however, seemed unphased.

“You lied to us. You said you were going to make a point at the House Blossom Ball. Instead you blew it up! You could have killed us!” she fumed. Fwhip rolled his eyes.

“Gem, you know me. What other point would I have made that didn’t go off with a bang? Besides, Sausage and Scott knew about the TNT,” Fwhip replied with a shrug. The glare Gem sent him was deadly, and Pearl rose from her seat at the revelation.

“I was hoping that maybe Scott was clever and figured out your plan, and just wasn’t able to get the information to anyone in time- but you told him and Sausage?! And I’m not exactly pleased that neither of them felt it was necessary to tell Gem and I what was going on, but the nerve of you to hide information from your own allies, Fwhip!” Pearl scolded. Scott and Sausage didn’t say anything, a little embarrassed- but to be fair, it hadn’t really occurred to Scott that Fwhip didn’t tell everyone about his plan. He had told Scott one-on-one, and Scott had foolishly assumed that he had told the others as well. Yet another frustrating hoodwink courtesy of Fwhip.

“Because I knew you would react like this! But there’s no sense in arguing about it now, what’s happened has happened. Let’s discuss plans for the future, shall we?” Fwhip said with an overly charming grin.

“No,” Pearl said firmly, and Fwhip blinked in surprise.

“What?” he asked in disbelief.

“You heard Gem. She’s done, and so am I. I won’t be a part of this senseless destruction anymore,” Pearl said evenly. And before Fwhip had a chance to protest, Pearl and Gem stormed out of the room. Fwhip let out a dejected sigh, before sitting up straight in his seat again.

“Fine. Who needs them? We’ll be just fine- won’t we, boys?” Fwhip asked, and the smile he gave Scott made his stomach roll.

“Yeah! Now we don’t have to tiptoe around them anymore!” Sausage cheered, and Scott could only give a weak smile in response. Something in Fwhip’s smile turned sharp as he leaned towards Scott with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“You know, I never properly complimented your acting skills. You really had Jimmy caught like a fish in a net. It’s a shame though- you got a little too wrapped up in the act- not to mention him- and we lost a valuable chance to deal with the Codfather once and for all. But that’s alright- I’m sure we’ll get another opportunity,” Fwhip said in a low and dangerous tone, the thinly veiled threat very clear to Scott. Don’t get in the way again, and don’t try and weasel out of plans. Or he’d make sure he’d regret it.

“R-right,” Scott said shakily. Fwhip seemed satisfied, and leaned back in his chair once more.

“Good. Now I suppose that advantage with you pretending to like Jimmy is gone now, unless you do a lot more than just kiss him this time around-”

“No,” Scott blurted, before he could really think about it.

“What was that?” Fwhip asked, raising an eyebrow. A lie about how Jimmy definitely didn’t want to see him again- which wasn’t really a lie per se, but it wasn’t the reason Scott said no- was at the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t say it. And in that moment, he finally decided to do what Pearl and Gem had done.

“I’m not doing this anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about bringing more pain and destruction to J- to these lands,” Scott said, voice shaking a little but his eyes sharp as he glared at Fwhip. But Fwhip caught the wobble in his voice and how he nearly said Jimmy’s name. However Sausage spoke up and commented on it before Fwhip could.

“You WEREN’T pretending, you actually fell for Jimmy!” Sausage gasped, and the tone of his voice reminded him of simpler times, when Sausage would tease him about his flirting with Jimmy and Pearl would admonish him and tell Sausage to leave Scott alone. Then Fwhip had taken advantage of Scott’s banter with Jimmy, and brought Scott’s world crashing down around him as a result.

“You’ve gotten weak, Scott. What happened to the imposing, cold ruler of Rivendell?” Fwhip sneered. Scott rose from the table at that, glaring Fwhip down.

“I’m finally being the ruler I should have been. I’m not going to let other empires use me for their own gain, and I’m not going to be part of your destructive plans,” Scott fumed, wings flaring and making him seem taller, more threatening. Fwhip chuckled darkly.

“You walk out of here, and you’ll regret it,” he growled.

“I’ll take my chances,” Scott shot back, turning on his heel and exiting the room, ignoring both Fwhip and Sausage’s voices after him. He was done with the Wither Rose Alliance. In fact, he was done with alliances entirely. He was going to stay in the mountains and care for his empire, like he should have been all along.

Then the slimeball on the side table by his bed reminded Scott why he didn’t want to stay in the mountains. He would just be exactly what Jimmy expected of him- high and mighty, being too good for anyone. And being alone. Scott had a taste of what a sense of togetherness felt like, and now being alone hurt more than ever. But there was no one he could go to, no one who would trust him. Maybe he could form something with Pearl and Gem, or maybe the two new empire rulers, Shelby and Joey- but it wouldn’t be the same. Nothing would ever be the same, not as long as the mere memory of Jimmy’s goofy grin sent his heart fracturing a thousand times, over and over again.

He couldn’t stand being within the walls of his home any longer. His wings itched with the need to spread and take to the skies, and flying always made him feel better. So Scott did just that, taking to the skies and flying nowhere in particular, just far away from all the empires as much as possible. Maybe if he flew far enough, it would all disappear and Scott wouldn’t have to deal with his problems anymore. And maybe with enough distance, his heartbreak would disappear too.

Taglists below! Ask to be added/removed!

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#empires smp #scott smajor #fwhip #mythicalsausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #flower husbands #mcyt #aiahs #sage writes

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

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I want it and I f*cking got it

Lee Haechan x virgin!reader

high school setting / crush became boyfriend

Themes: FLUFF, SMUT

Summary: You are the shining new girl and the Lee Haechan has eyes on you.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: This some high school shit realness haha, theres a part where he touched her without consent, swearing, detailed (?) smut, smut again, mentions of blowjob, fingering, oral, mentions of other idols, unprotected sex (pulling out), mentions of alcohol

A/N: Inspired by Hairspray’s ‘I can hear the bells’, I made this just for fun so I can take a break from writing fics with heavy plots. If there are misplaced words or typos I’m sorry. Happy reading!

.........................................................................

Lee Haechan, is so handsome.

That’s the first thing that came in your head when you saw him at the hallway for the first time. He was with his friends Mark, Renjun and Jeno laughing and teasing each other while walking to their next class. You on the other hand is watching them from a far while you put your books and other stuff in your locker.

“Forget it, he’s with Lia. The most popular girl in school” Yeri nudge you and told you more facts about Lia and Haechan. Because of your cousin Yeri, you’re now updated about your crush’s love life. In less than a minute you found out that they’ve been dating basically since freshman year, “those two are inseparable” she added.

A mild heat slowly builds up around your body because they will walk pass by you so you decided to turn your back on them. But then someone bumped you hard that you almost hit your head on your locker door. You wanted to shout and curse at the person who bumped you but you became speechless when you finally saw who it was.

“Oh sorry. I didn’t mean to bump you. The hallways can be so crowded, you should be careful”

Lee Haechan smiled and pats your head and went to his third period. Definitely unprepared and you didn’t expect that that will be your first interaction with him. It happened so fast. You can’t believe it but that sure made you smile from ear to ear, even your cousin was surprised. Being the new girl wasn’t so bad after all when you have Lee Haechan as your happy crush.

ROUND 1

The next day, during your English Literature class with Haechan, he tapped your shoulder and gave you a small piece of paper which you accepted when Mr. Kim wasn’t looking.

I’m really sorry about yesterday. Hope you’re okay -Fullsun

You wrote back with caution, thinking about how you’re just being polite and that this is not considered flirting.

No harm done. Thank you for the reminder about the hallways.

You turned your back and faced him quickly, gave him the paper with a smile then faced front again. Just like that the chance to flirt back with your crush slipped away. Why? Because you didn’t want to play with fire and ruin your good girl reputation in your new school by flirting with your crush who has a girlfriend.

Day by day, Haechan tries to start a simple conversation with you before class starts. Telling you how you look you look nice, asking you what did you eat for breakfast, updating you about the weather, and basically everything he could ever think of just to get the chance to talk to you.

It gets harder and harder to avoid Haechan so you gave up and gave him the satisfaction of finally having a decent conversation with you. It was in the middle of watching Titanic during class when he started to whisper beside your ear softly that sends tingles to your spine. Everyone was quiet and focused to how handsome Leonardo DiCaprio is while you focus on how Haechan melts your heart whispering how he loves this movie.

“That movie is the movie of my life”

“I agree that it’s a great movie. Nicely made and deserving for it’s awards but I still don’t know it’s connection with our English Lit” you whispered back to him, trying to be subtle as possible so you wont get caught by Mr. Kim. “I think Mr. Kim is a hopeless romantic, and so are you”

He giggled quietly at what you said to him, trying so hard not to forget how your voice sounds like the whole time you were whispering beside him. The next think you know, you two were keeping the conversation going until he caught you crying and hands you his handkerchief. It was not necessary but you felt him caress your head and pat it softly to give you comfort.

If the Lee Haechan is normally friendly like this, so be it. You decided to befriend him if you can’t flirt with him, you started talking whenever he sees you around school, during lunch breaks, class hours or dismissal. He continued giving you small notes during class that mainly contains questions about Romeo and Juliet, or whenever he notices that Mr. Kim’s tie doesn’t go with his outfit. Even giving you songs to listen to and a Micheal Jackson playlist. Little did you know he was flirting already.

“Hey, Jeno is having a party this Friday. You should go” your heart thumps the whole time you were putting your books inside your bag while Haechan was talking to you about Jeno’s party. “since you’re new here, I can introduce you around” he added and gave you an awkward smile.

“Not sure” you shook your head.

“Give me your phone” you didn’t have a choice but you handed it to him. You watch him save his number and name himself ‘Fullsun ☀️’. “Here, text me if you’ll go. I got you, I promise”

After that conversation with Haechan, you told Yeri the whole story which she finds hard to believe. You even showed her Haechan’s contact to make her believe you and she screeched like a bird when she finally did. “Not bad cousin! You should totally go, meet the popular kids you know” she winked at you, “who knows maybe you’ll be friends with Jeno and you can introduce him to me”

“Psh. Yeah, and show Lia that I’m interested with his sexy hot boyfriend? No thanks”

“Ooh by the way, update about the couple…” Yeri stopped walking, “they’re not together anymore. Shocker right? Story says, Lia told Haechan he’s not good enough for her”

“What the actual fu- How perfect does she think she is?”

How can someone say that to someone perfect like Haechan. What Yeri just told you made you swim with never ending thoughts about Haechan. Like, how is he holding on? Is he okay? Because he looked totally fine during the days he was talking to you. Should you really go to the party for him? “Thanks for the update Yeri, I’ll think about it. See you in school!”

When you’re finally home and relaxed, you thought maybe you could give the party a shot. It’s not that you hate parties, it’s just that you don’t know enough people to have fun in a party. But still, even though you’re convinced to go you always find a reason to stop yourself.

While you’re busy contemplating if you’re going to the party, Haechan is busy thinking about you and waiting for your text. Hoping that you will come save him from the sea of people judging him because of his ex Lia. “You do realise that once that girl step foot in this house and people start seeing you together, that will totally bring chaos in her life” Mark came out of nowhere with a cup of beer for Haechan.

“It’s my first time liking someone, I’m not going to let the chance slip away to try and win her”

“What do you mean first time? How about Lia?”

“Oh come on dude, you know I never liked Lia, it’s just a stupid favor I did for my family. I tried to like her. But really, I can’t” he scoffed and took a sip, “y/n gave me reasons everyday to like her”

Mark tried to warn his best friend but he figured he was too late. Haechan is already head over heels and no one can stop him from making a move to you. “Yeah, you’re right. This is the first time I see you smile because of a girl” Mark chugged his beer and left Haechan to get a refill.

To be completely honest, Haechan is scared to drag you with the drama that comes with him the moment he finally confess to you. He thought about ways on how to avoid all that and what Mark said when suddenly his phone dings.

You: Sorry it took me awhile. Send me the address?

This time, it’s Haechan who’s smiling from ear to ear because of you and nervous because you’re finally coming.

ROUND 2

You put on a simple white shirt, black pants, your favorite shoes and your favorite biker jacket. Hoping that Haechan will like your simplicity and that the party will appreciate people who underdress. Now that you know the truth between him and Lia, you’re not holding yourself back. If Haechan flirts with you tonight, you will definitely flirt back.

“You look iconic, come on I’ll get you a drink” he welcomed you with a hug outside Jeno’s house which you think is nice, he didn’t let you step inside a stranger’s house alone. The house looks great and you’re sure that without the neon lights scattered everywhere the house will definitely look like a home. Besides the generous amount of neon lights, the house is loud and full of jumping teenagers who are all strangers to you.

To your surprise, Haechan grabbed hold to your hand so you wont get lost in the crowd. You follow his lead which brought you to the mini bar beside the pool full of horny teenagers who are probably having pool sex at this very second.

“No hard drinks for the lady please” he said to his friend Renjun who mixes the drinks. He saw you and Haechan still holding each other’s hands and he quickly gave Haechan a teasing look that made him let go of you. “Before my dumb friend gets you into trouble, let me introduce myself” he offered his hand for you to shake which you gladly accepted, “Hi, I’m Renjun. I made every mixed drink you see in this party”

Haechan rolled his eyes and mouthed ‘show off’ towards his friend. “Impressive, and you’re not getting tired?- Oh y/n by the way” you shake his hand firmly and the next thing you know Haechan is getting the drinks and dragging you away from his friend to meet the other two, which you already knew who they are. Mark is the smart one and Jeno is the captain of the Taekwondo team.

The night went on beautifully and fun while you two flirt with each other the whole time in front of everyone to see without giving even one fuck about what they say behind your back. Even though you’re already a little buzzed because of the alcohol, you didn’t miss how Haechan placed his hand while he helps you win the beer pong game against Jeno and Mark, which again isn’t necessary because you know how to play beer pong.

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough fun for tonight. I’m taking you home” Haechan said while helping you put your jacket. He walked you home under the quiet and dark neighbourhood, laughing quietly while he tells you the most funniest jokes. Neither one of you don’t want to finish this night but it’s getting late, “thank you for inviting me to Jeno’s party” you said, stopping in front of your house. Crossing your arms and telling yourself that if this guy kiss you tonight, you’re going to scare him and make fun of him.

“Yeah, I definitely can tell you had fun” he slowly went closer to you and kissed your lips. Letting him fall to your trap. You pushed him away with enough force that tells him to stop, “s-sorry. I thought, were on the same page” Haechan panics and apologised immediately.

“Am I some kind of rebound? Or you’re just flirting because you want your ex to get jealous and win her back?” what you said was part true, you do want to know his intentions.

He breathes heavily before he explains with shaking voice, “The relationship I had with Lia is something I did for my mom, because my mom and Lia’s mom are friends and they want us to end up with each other. And I clearly don’t like that idea. I tried liking Lia but I couldn’t force myself when what I feel tells me exactly the truth and the answers to my questions”

He moved away to you while he’s pouring his heart out by explaining and telling you the truth. Hearing it made you feel guilty but at the same time you’re praising yourself for being a genius because you got Haechan to tell you the truth effortlessly.

“Quite frankly I don’t want this to end. If I fuck this up so what, I don’t care. I’ll fix it. I’m going to start over again, even if it means I have to bump on you accidentally on the hallway. Again. Just- fuck, I didn’t mean to move so fast, I’m so sorry” Haechan can hear his own heart beat, nervous that you’re just standing in front of him with crossed arms and not saying anything after everything he told you.

Soon, you can’t hold it in even longer. You burst into laughter and giggled loudly. Bringing Haechan closer to you and cupping his handsome face, admiring how cute he is with panic eyes. “It’s a joke. I’m sorry I made you nervous, handsome” you put your arms around Haechan’s neck and watch him get playfully annoyed to you. He shook his head on disbelief because you’re the only person who can match with his wit.

“Kiss me again?” you asked oh so sweetly, raking his soft hair.

He nods his head and kissed you again, softer than before and even meaningful than the first. You felt him smile in between kissing when you finally kissed him back. Savouring the feeling of your lips on his and the warmth of your embrace. And when the kiss is over, he puts his thumb on your lips, swiping the spit on those pretty lips. “Is this finally good night?” he asked, still looking at your lips.

“Sad to say, yes. Unless you find a way to climb up quietly to my room?”

He let out a soft giggle, “No. I don’t want to move so fast. Talk to you when I get home?”

“Yes please” before you two part ways, he gave you one last peck on the lips and finally let you go.

When Haechan got home, you were tucked in bed and waiting for your phone to ring and answer his call. And when he finally did, you two can’t see it but you’re both smiling widely while talking to each other and just hearing each other’s voices makes your heart flutter. It didn’t bother you two if the sun is shinning brightly already, Haechan waited for you to get tired and eventually fall asleep. Before he ends the call, he whispered a soft good night through the phone and went to bed with a smile.

ROUND 3

Come Monday, you were just telling Yeri about your weekend with Haechan and his friends and talking like how you two normally do around school when Lia blocked your way out on the girl’s restroom. “So you’re the new girl? If it wasn’t for you, Hyuck and I would still be together. You just had to ruin everything we’ve built for our relationship when you decided to go to this school”

“Not my fault you didn’t locked him up before I transfer schools. But it is my fault that you’re single now” you flashed a teasing smile at her before you head out and made sure to bump her shoulder on purpose. That would teach her a lesson and she will definitely know you’re not just anybody.

Truth be told you don’t want any fight because of someone who doesn’t understand the core meaning of the word ‘breakup.’ It’s clear that she’s just mad that you’re seeing Haechan now and that he’s more than happy with the relationship. But you can’t let someone treat you bad just because you got who you want, fair and square.

After school, you and Haechan went to his house to do some studying for English Literature. You love how it’s so quiet around their neighbourhood and the golden ray of light hits Haechan’s skin perfectly. From now on, golden hours with Haechan will be your thing.

You two sat on their hammock swing chair at their backyard, enjoying the golden hour by talking and giggling like little kids on a swing. “Who made this swing? I feel like I’m a baby” you said, feeling so comfortable beside Haechan.

“You are a baby. My baby” he raised his eyebrows once and winked at you. As your heart flutter because of what he said, you rolled your eyes at him and gave him a peck on the lips. Just a peck, because you knew all too well he will ask for more.

“What? That’s it? Just a peck?” he whines on disappointment.

“Yes. That’s all, come on. Homework time” breaking away from his embrace, you force yourself to stand up and convince Haechan to start studying. He brought you to your room so you two could focus on studying and to have some privacy after doing the homework.

“Guess who blocked my way at the girl’s restroom earlier” you sat on Haechan’s lap and put your arms around his neck.

“I know. Jeno told me he found Lia crying with Yeji and Ryunjin” he starts kissing your neck then realised he shouldn’t. “Listen, that girl is drama and I know you can take care of her but I just want to have a peaceful relationship with you. Please, just ignore her. These people will bring you down, and the more you notice them the more they will ruin you”

And it’s true what Haechan said, for the following weeks Lia’s group of friends has been hating you with all their might. Typical high school bullies who won’t stop at nothing but when Haechan took care of it, you felt so proud and safe. The look on Lia’s face when Haechan stood up for you in front of everyone definitely gave you the satisfaction and happiness. From there on, no one dares to meddle with your relationship with Haechan.

Things has been great between you and Haechan, you met his sister and his parents which are all adorable. Although his mom is still in favor with Lia, but nonetheless she respects Haechan’s decision.

After graduation, you spend too much time on Haechan’s place and sometimes things can go out of control. In the middle of making out with Haechan, your eyes widened when he suddenly slips his hand under your shirt and pull down the left cup of your bra. It felt uncomfortable and violating so you pushed him away from you.

“Nah, I’m not falling for that” you can’t believe what you’re hearing from your boyfriend and it’s making you crazy how suffocating it felt the whole time he was groping your boobs and pinching your nipples. Haechan thought you pushing him away was a prank like the one you did when he kissed you for the first time.

But he heard you sobbing and it made him stop. “Shit- shit! I’m sorry” he covered you with his thick duvet and gave you space. He went downstairs to get you a glass of water and slightly hated himself for what he just did to you.

Before he came back, you convinced yourself that he didn’t mean it and that your boyfriend is not a bad person. You made yourself presentable again and wiped your tears not wanting your boyfriend to see you scared around him. The moment he knocks on the door your heart jumped and you got nervous again, feeling your tears fall but you don’t know why.

He gave you a glass of water and you accepted it with shaking hands. Haechan sat on the edge of his bed, turning his back on you because he knew what he just did. He violated you and he didn’t even stop when you told him to, you don’t know but deep inside he’s punishing himself for being like that.

The two of you stayed away from each other for a good twenty minutes. Then you crawled towards him slowly and hugged him from behind, he’s more than happy that you don’t hate him and that you’re not going to breakup with him. “This will never happen again, I promise. I will never rush you ever again”

And it’s a promise he kept.

ROUND 4

When Haechan promised you that he will take it slow and not rush you with anything, he kept his word.

But now that you two are heading to college and spending the whole summer together as much as you can, you two can’t get enough of each other. There are times when you two will just lay down the swing, enjoy the quietness of the afternoon and watch the sun go down. Hands intertwined and legs tangled.

Some days are extra fun when you two help his sister bake anything she wants from cookies to cupcakes and Haechan will end up making a mess at the kitchen. Then by night you three will enjoy what you guys made while watching scary movies on Netflix.

And even though you’re still a virgin and so inexperienced compared to Haechan, you two find a way to feed your sex life without going all the way. You finally let him touch you without pushing him away or feeling violated, little by little you learned how to let go.

You remember when Haechan finger fucked you for the first time, you were so nervous because anyone can step in the living room and see that Haechan is on top of you. “Keep it down, my sister is on the other room” his kisses on your neck are not like any other, now it’s wet and his hands are all over your body. Kneading your clothed boobs, squeezing it a little harsh because he’s too horny. You can’t say you don’t like what he’s doing because you love it. Every part of it.

You love how his hands cups your boobs while he’s busy kissing your neck and you make quiet moans that Haechan loves so much. There were no talking the whole time, just pure kissing and quiet everything. You don’t have to ask him to do something because he knew perfectly well what you want. The couch is a bit uncomfortable for two people grinding on each other and kissing hungrily but no one seems to care.

“We won’t go all the way, I promise” he said but his hands are creeping under your skirt and on its way to remove your panties. “But we will go pretty far tonight, is that okay?” you nod your head nervously. To be honest he’s nervous too. Scared even. Scared that maybe you won’t approve of what he’s going to do and push him away again. You on the other hand really have no idea why he needs to remove your panties if he promised not to have sex with you tonight.

Heat surrounds your body when you saw Haechan put your panties on their coffee table. The living room is dark but once you opened your knees and lift your skirt, he will see your pussy for the first time. You breathe deeply when you felt his cold hands on top of your knee, ready to spread your legs open. “Shit- baby, stop” he stopped and gave you his jacket to cover your exposed legs. “Just give me a minute. I’m really shy right now, I don’t know why. Fuck, I’m sorry Hyuck”

“It’s okay, do you want to go to the bathroom to wear your panties?”

“No no, I don’t want to stop. Just getting shy that’s all. This will pass” it’s true you don’t want him to stop because you’re too horny now. “Kiss me?” he smiled and gave your request. You put away his jacket and pulled him close to you. Now you’re leaning comfortably on the armrest of their couch while Haechan kiss you softly. “I think I’m ready now” you told him in between kisses, but instead of making his move he just smiled at you and continue kissing you.

“I’ll tell you when you’re ready”

You don’t know what does that mean. You just enjoyed how he kisses you so filthy for the first time while his hands are resting on your closed legs. His tongue moves perfectly around your neck, leaving marks on the exposed skin of your cleavage and whispering dirty words that makes your legs spread unconsciously and put him right in between you.

“See, now you’re ready. You’re pretty wild yourself baby, spreading your legs for me huh” he teased you in between kisses that made you smile. Who would’ve thought spreading your legs for Haechan would feel really great.

In middle of feeling Haechan’s tongue dance around your neck and your hands are busy keeping him closer to your body, you feel his right hand made it’s way in between your legs and made contact with your wet folds. Without hesitation, you rolled your head back and closed your eyes as you enjoy his middle finger glide up and down your slit and spread your pussy juices.

Of course he knows what he’s doing, he watched you to melt with his touch underneath him while he play with your pussy. And again, unconsciously, you grind your hips on his finger completely letting go of your innocence. This will definitely not the first and last time Haechan will do this to you.

As your mind floats on how good Haechan makes you feel good, he flicks his finger a little faster, pinching your clit to make you moan, and finally putting his finger inside you. It made you open your eyes and look him in the eye. “that’s like a sneak peek on what it feels like to be fucked. Not even close but for the mean time, I’ll make cum using my fingers”

Your lips touched as he pumps his finger inside you, adding digits without any warning so you can have the full experience. Being quiet became a challenge when you’re finally on edge and Haechan’s fingers were still inside you while he’s whispering dirty things beside your ear. He needed to cover your mouth to muffle your moans when you finally came, closing your legs, crushing his arm in between them to ease the sensitivity of your clenching pussy.

“I fucking love you Lee Haechan”

ROUND 5

After slowly introducing you to more sexual activities you two are now bold and confident about touching each other. After a lot of trial and errors, you’re now an expert of sucking your boyfriend’s dick whenever you two are alone at their living room. You now happily open your legs for him to eat your pussy in your room and you let him finger you during Netflix and chill with his sister.

And now, after you suck him off and make him moan for the first time, you finally told him that you want to have sex with him and that you’re ready to go all the way. With no questions asked, Haechan helped you remove your clothes quickly and you did the same with him. Ending up fully naked in Haechan’s bed is making you shy like the first time he touched you and this is not good.

“Baby, calm the fuck down... stop moving” he giggle at you while lining his dick to your dripping entrance. The head of his dick is finally inside when you hiss again closing your legs and moving away from him. Telling him that it fucking hurts, even though it wasn’t even in yet.

“It wont hurt, I got you! You’re fucking dripping for crying out loud. Sliding in wont be a problem. Come on” he taps and caress both your thighs as he waits for you to open your legs again for him. Slowly he touches your soft skin, admiring how you stayed a virgin for him, your skin is glowing because of the golden sunlight from the window beside his bed.

Opening your legs again, Haechan kneels in between you and hooks both of his arms under your legs so you won’t get to close them again. “Line my cock so I can push in” you followed him like a good girl as he leans closer to your face for a kiss. His cock just perfectly lined to your cunt while you both kiss and enjoy each other’s sweet lips. Sweating and really nervous, he felt your chest move up and down against his and noticed that you’re getting scared every second that passes.

“Baby, it’s me, Haechan. Your boyfriend. Why are you being like this? Hmm? I thought you wanted this?” his tone was telling you to trust him because he’s your boyfriend. Telling you oh so sweetly to calm down or else he will stop and put your clothes back on. Still not moving from his position, Haechan didn’t want you to be scared before pushing his cock inside you so he continued talking to you.

“S-sorry. Just stuff running in my head. S-scared but I- yeah, I want this. Fuck, baby I want this to happen so bad. Can you just force it? Don’t wait for me to calm down?” You beg your boyfriend but he shook his head no.

“Where’s the love in that if I force this in you? I’ll kiss you while I go in, hows that?” the offer wasn’t bad, you nod agreeing to him and his lips touch yours the moment you nod.

Waiting for the perfect time to push in, Haechan can be really patient when it comes to you. When he felt you let go, he slowly pushed in and you swear you stopped breathing for a moment. Taking a second to finally believe that Haechan is fucking you now. Speechless the whole time as you feel him go inside you, you stare at his eyes shining because of the afternoon light.

Your hand flew to his face, gripping his chin and jaw as you feel slightly betrayed. “You said it wouldn’t hurt?” a small tear run down your eye as you feel the stretch of your cunt stinging so bad you can’t stop whimpering.

“Sshh. Of course it will hurt baby. Can you feel this?” Haechan was half moaning and grunting while talking to you, moving his cock in and out slowly to prove his point not pulling out entirely. You nod your head, moaning deliciously. Feeling how he’s so good, lips parted as you wait for him to be balls deep inside you, letting go a low “ooh” once he’s fully inside.

You reach in for his lips again devouring it while you clench and unclench all you want. “You won’t cum if we just keep on kissing. Stop luring me you minx” he kissed your left boob, biting and sucking it as he rolls his hips a little giving you a peak of what’s about to happen. Haechan pull away when he felt you stiffen again, hips roll slowly as you get familiar with the stretch.

“Sensitive baby, I cant-“

“Of course you can you’re my girl”

Without a warning he gave you piercing thrust, enough to make your boobs bounce. Licking the valley between your breast before you could curse him out. Reaching for your hands as he brings them both on top of your head together with the pillows, fucking you with a steady and fast pace.

“I love you. You know that right?” A breathy and weak “yes” escaped from your mouth. Toes curling already as you feel that knot on your lower abdomen.

After a few fast thrust and some delicious slow ones that you specifically loved, you reached your much awaited high and Haechan pulled his dick out and pumps it in front of you. Ruining his perfect blue sheets. Making you horny and crave for your boyfriend again, you reach in for another condom, “Again, Haechan please let’s make round two a little longer”

He let out a small laugh as he lays beside you, fingertips scraping on your golden skin. “So now you’re begging me to fuck you again huh, okay. Round 2 in five minutes, I need to catch my breath” he said and left a kiss on your shoulders.

.........................................................................

Masterlist

First of all thank you for reading! This is inspired by Link and Tracy’s love story in Hairspray. I just rewatched it earlier and damn I forgot how I used to love every song in that movie. Hope you guys can watch it :) Also listen to I can hear the bells hihi.

897 notes · View notes

moondustis · 4 years ago

Text

on the way (m)

pairing: seo johnny + reader genre: angst, smut | word count: 10k summary: “There’s a few ways you could tell this story. The tale of how you met one Seo Johnny, and how it all went down. But maybe there's no better way to do it than from the beginning.” or A love story told in 5 acts.

a/n: hello! yes, finally a new fic and yes it is college!au with a hint of fwb. i have been writing this for around 4 months now and i haven’t read some parts in awhile so it’s probably all around the place. if something doesn’t make a lot of sense, well... it is what it is lol. but yeah, hope you guys enjoy it!

act 1: messy affairs

See, there’s a few ways you could tell this story. The tale of how you met one Seo Johnny, and how it all went down. But maybe there's no better way to do it than from the beginning.

It’s a friday night, just like any other that happens after a mixture of weekly stress and the weird need to let it all out. It’s common, routine even, how you apply your makeup, pick your best outfit and scroll mindlessly through tinder in wait for your friends to arrive for a pre-game. It's common but not that usual, at least not until recently.

Your last year of college had brought a lot of feelings that you didn't think you were ready to deal with yet. A nostalgia that arrived too soon, when you would catch yourself thinking that a moment shared with roommates would be the last one. An uncertainty of the future and a constant stress between writing a thesis that somehow is supposed to summarize the entirety of the knowledge you had gotten in the last year.

And lastly, the reason why you're doing this: the unwavering fear that your life is just about to start. The same feeling you got when college just started, of freedom and new beginnings. But now, instead of the excitement and thrill, it's replaced by anxiety and the heavy weight of adulthood about to start. That's why you look into the mirror, again, applying your lip gloss with the screen of your phone still illuminated by a picture of a person just waiting to be swiped left or right. You just need to have fun, like you never will again.

It's that a too harsh way to start this? Well, back to Seo Johnny.

It's a friday night and your friends arrive, flavored vodka in hand, the cheap kind that tastes like it's not alcoholic at all. A shot for each and then you are all laughing and joking to pass time.

"Why do we have to pre game? I'm sure there will be plenty to drink." Sarah, a blonde girl with friendly cheeks asks. She tips the shot on her hand back anyway, despite the question.

"Hell no I'm not going to drink frat booze again, they are cheap." Ela, tall and smart and majoring is Social Politics, says.

You hum and Sarah asks "And we are not?"

"No, we have our dear friend making us drinks." Ela gestures wildly at Nicole, the bartender of the night who's wearing a dress that only battles your own in the matters of shortness. "We are fancy."

"She's mixing vodka with sprite." These statements make you laugh loudly.

Tinder is just a distraction as you all sit on the couch, a good way to find an easy date for the night and when the he in question shows up, a black and white picture on the illuminated screen of your phone, it earns a shriek from your friends that go on and on about how hot he looks.

"You should swipe right." Ela says, eyebrows dancing but you don't see it because you're busy rolling your eyes at your phone. Johnny stares at you.

"He's my friend." You say as if it's obvious but it's really not. The word friend feels a little weird in your mouth but how else could you describe it? College was good for you in the social aspect, you have a lot of friends, people you talk to in class, or that you meet at parties because you ran in the same circles. It usually doesn't go deeper than that, than a blunt shared or a joke about a teacher, but that's friendship anyway you conclude.

And Johnny , well, he was someone you knew, not well, but sometimes he would text you a joke that made you laugh, ask for help with an assignment, talk to you about anything during a party. He was fun, a friend, and an acquaintance. Whatever, that didn't matter and honestly neither did the way you met, through a mutual friend at a kickback. It was that and nothing more.

"Please, he flirts with you every chance he gets." Ela rolls her eyes right back at you.

"He flirts with anyone, I think." You argue, because it's true. Johnny is one of those people that just have this aura to them, that can make anyone interested with just a few words. He's naturally flirty, that's something easy to point out.

"Well he's hot." That too.

"True." Nicole says and it earns a deep sigh from you.

Acting on impulse or peer pressure, you don't know exactly, but you swipe right and then nothing happens. So you shrug and throw your phone away to down another shot.

✿

When you get to the party, it's already absolutely trashed, with freshmen spilling their drinks on the floor as some annoying EDM song blasts loud enough that you’re not very sure the thin windows of this house can handle. Frat parties were always the same, mildly boring and filled with people that didn't know how to act. It often escaped you the reasons why you continued to attend them.

You and your friends dance a little, laughing when the songs change to one that is even worse than the first one. Ela, despite her words from earlier, finds a bottle of vodka and proclaims loudly that a night can never end badly when it starts with shots, a statement you strongly disagree with but you down it anyway when she offers it and then another one just for good measure. Because it’s a friday, you deserve a little fun, right? Right.

Too tired of dancing you had found a place on a couch that was probably too old. Johnny finds you there when the shots just start to hit and you feel bubbly, like you're on a cloud.

"Hey there." He says with a blinding smile and if you weren't out of it you'd probably find it weird that he came to you, because most of the time you talked at parties was because you somehow ended up bumping into each other.

"Hi." You reply, elongating the word more than necessary and it seems to amuse him.

"Why are you sitting here by yourself?" He asks.

"Don't feel like dancing anymore." You say shrugging. "And what are you doing here sitting with me?"

You watch as he laughs slowly and fishes for his phone in his pocket. "See, I wanted to show you something."

It’s endearing, really, even more when his hand starts to wander, fingers barely ghosting your skin as he keeps his gaze glued to your face.

He kisses you deeply, head tilted to the side as he holds you close with both hands on your cheeks and you can’t do anything but let him take control. Is when he sucks on your bottom lip that you have to let out the moan you had been holding, embarrassingly too soon and only urging him on even more as he licks at your lips, asking for entrance that you so gladly give, letting his tongue slide against yours slowly. The feeling of his hands moving to your leg makes your head spin and want for more.

He kisses the breath out of you, quite literally, and you both have to part to catch it back with silly smiles, gasps of air and pecks still being pressed on your lips.

In your drunken haze, you smile when he rests his palm on your naked thigh, squeezing just slightly to test your interest. And you’re crazy, absolutely out of your mind because you show it by parting your legs just a little, just to tease, the smile never leaving your face as he mimics it with a subtle raise of his eyebrow.

And god forgive you for being such a stupid horny girl that just falls gives in so easily, taking Johnny’s wandering hand in yours and dragging him to the closest place you can find, which happens to be someone's bedroom. How nice and polite of you.

There’s not much beating around the bush. He pushes you into the bed, hovering over you and finally kisses you again, with hunger, hands on your neck and tongue sliding against yours in movements that are not shy from being desperate. And you love it, enough to have your mind swimming with the need to have him touch you anywhere that will make you feel good.

When you grip at his hair a little too harshly, he lets out a moan that goes straight to the bubble of arousal on the pit of your stomach. He’s a sight, with puffy lips and hair a mess as he drops to his knees in front of you, something you weren’t exactly expecting but will definitely not complain about.

He looks up at you, hands moving to rest at your thighs and oh, so gently parting them so he can fit in between. “Can I?” You almost die at the voice he asks for your consent in.

You nod, head spinning a little when you move to help him get yours panties off, the offending cotton fabric being thrown somewhere inside this poor person's bedroom.

A couple of things happen afterwards. Johnny parts your legs further, placing a misplaced kiss on your inner thigh. Then he goes for it with a tentative lick, as if testing the waters and just slightly as if he’s a little unsure of himself. You blink slowly in expectation.

“How do you like it?” The question makes you confused until you realize that he’s teasing you, a grin splattered across his face when you groan and try to move your hips but he keeps a grip on your legs.

“Asshole.” You mutter in what sounds more like a whine.

Which is a complete lie, because you’re already shivering in your skin and he knows that by the raise of his eyebrow in defiance. But still, your words spark something and he finally goes for it.

The first press of his tongue flat against you has your hands moving to grip at the bed sheets. He works in a pace that clearly shows that he knows what he’s doing, swirling his tongue a little to tease and then licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit to gather the wetness there.

He kisses your cunt the exact same way he did your lips, messily and desperate with the squelchy noises filling the room and setting your cheeks in heat from embarrassment. You don’t even need the long fingers he adds, slowly and then matching the pace of his sucks.

It’s a very quick orgasm, in the sense that it doesn’t take you half the time you thought it would to happen. He does a little thing with his tongue, flicking your clit and you’re crying out with your body arching from the bed as he continues to eat you out as your body trembles.

“Was I good?” He asks afterwards, words muffled because he’s still pressed against your bare center. He’s grinning, you can see it as well as the wetness that drips on his chin.

You don't reply, instead you push him upwards and kiss him again, tasting yourself on his tongue. You can feel his erection press against your hip when he brings you closer and it makes you want more.

He breaks the kiss then, palm comes to rest on your cheek, thumb on the other side of your face as he keeps you looking at him. He likes being in control, you have realized that even in this short interaction, and you apparently liked giving it to him.

You shiver when he brushes his thumb on your lips, getting them to part for him. “There you go, open your mouth.” He whispers, eyes glued to it. “Be good."

Parting your lips, you lick at his thumb before you’re sucking it, earning a grunt from him that almost makes you smirk. You put on a show, trying to get him as worked up as you are, your eyes not leaving his face.

“Fuck. You’re so hot.” He mutters, pressing his thumb on your tongue and you moan a little over it. “You want my cock on your mouth?”

You nod, smiling as he removes his wet finger from your mouth. “Yes.” Your voice is breathless, eyes glassy as you stare at him.

That earns you a smile and you feel a little pride in your chest. “That’s a good girl.” He taps your face. “Get on your knees then, baby. If you want it so bad.”

You do, positioning yourself in the middle of his parted thighs when he sits down on the bed and your mouth almost waters from anticipation.

Lifting his shirt a bit, you start by pressing kisses to his navel and he lets out a deep breath. Reaching down to unbutton his pants, you help him pull them down alongside his boxers and the sight of him hard for you is what really makes your mouth water. He's big in a way that you're sure you won't be able to fit it all inside without putting in some work.

You tease him just a little bit, placing just the small kiss at the tip before licking it slowly. He’s far less patient then you are, hand immediately moving to grip your hair. “Put it in, baby, don’t be bad for me now.”

Parting your lips, you put him in your mouth, going as far as you can go, wrapping your hand on what you can’t reach. He moans lowly, curses falling from his lips.

He lets his head fall back when you swirl your tongue around, bobbing your head slowly the way he likes. “That’s it, baby. Takin’ me so well.” You hum around him, earning yourself another moan.

You try to get him as far as you can, swallowing when you reach your limit and he grips your hair tighter. You can feel him pulsing inside your mouth and it makes you squeeze your thighs together.

He comes on your face, painting your cheeks and making you gasp a little in shock. "Fuck, I'm sorry." He mumbles, quick to search for something to clean you up with.

"It 's okay." You say, throat feeling sore and you try not to think about how that was the first time that ever happened for too long. "I liked it."

That makes him give you a look, and then he's saying with a laugh "You'll be the death of me."

act 2: ungodly hour

Maybe the fact that nothing really changes should be a sign by itself.

Johnny still nods to you when you pass by him around campus, and still asks you to ‘help a guy out’ by sending him pictures of your notes like you guys are nothing but good almost-friends. Because, well, that’s what you are and that’s good enough for you.

His face stays there on your tinder matches, no acknowledgement of it beyond his stupid joke back at the party happens and the only reminder you have of that night is the insatiable thoughts that cross your mind in the middle of a boring lecture. Because why would you pay attention to whatever your teacher is saying when you could remind bit by bit of how Johnny fucked you on his tiny dorm room, while maintaining a resting face.

Weirdly those memories don't hit you the next time you see him, because you’re too busy thinking about strawberry milkshake.

The line behind you is not even that big, considering it’s 3am and most drunk college kids prefer to go to the burger king, but the cashier has an annoyed look on his face as your friend slowly reads the menu as if there’s plenty to choose from at a place like Mcdonalds. “Hmm, we’ll have two large fries, a coke and...”

“A strawberry milkshake!” You try to go for whispering but it comes out louder and the cashier just hums.

There's just something about being slightly shit faced at this hour and at this place, that makes it all seem like it's not actually happening. Like you are in a dream that only gets better when the server calls your number and you are sipping on the milkshake you kept on talking about since leaving the club you went on.

Funnily enough, if this was in fact in a dream, it wouldn't be the first time Johnny showed up on one of yours.

He's sitting in a booth by himself, scrolling at his phone. His hair is pushed back by a snapback and your mind twirls for a second with the thought that he looks too good for someone who's here in an hour like this.

Maybe it's the remnants of alcohol still buzzing on your system. Or maybe it is the fact that you seem to have been losing your self consciousness more and more these days. Whatever it is, it leads you to the stand in front of Johnny with a smile on your face and your hand freezing from holding the milkshake.

It doesn't take long for him to notice you, a smile that makes you feel warm inside ready on his lips as you take a place right across from him like it was meant for you all this time.

"Hey there." He says, voice playful and you wonder if he had a few drinks himself before coming here. He must have had. "What's up?"

You shrug, a smile painting your own lips. "Nothing much." You say and for some reason you feel silly, in a way that makes you want to scream a little from excitement. Like a teenage girl with a crush. "Strawberry milkshake. You want some?"

Johnny laughs a little when you offer him the cup with the slightly bitten straw. "No, thank you. But it looks good."

"It is." You smile with lips closed around it.

For a moment, but not an uncomfortable one, you two just stare at each other. The sweet taste of your drinks fills your mind and makes you feel a little less dizzier.

"Had fun night?"

"Hmm, not really. Sorority parties suck." He nods in agreement. Most parties sucked anyway, that's why everyone had to get so wasted to be able to enjoy it while the high lasted. You liked feeling pretty after getting ready more than the whole rest of it. "What were you up to?"

"Got to DJ at this party with Mark, it was nice." He says it like it was no big deal, like it was something he did every other day. You had never actually seen Johnny play before, but from the way his instagram page was filled with posts about it and links to soundcloud songs, anyone could figure out it was at least a bit important to him.

You found it weird, that you didn't know much about this or anything else about Johnny besides what he would let you know. And vice versa. But at the same time it's nice getting to know it bit by bit, without a rush.

"That's really cool." Your voice is a little more excited than you expected it to be. "I really wanna see you play someday."

"Sure." He smiles sideways. Bashfulness doesn't really suit him. "I'll let you know the next time."

You nod, then you share a look. Someone screams at their friend about something you don't really care about because you're too busy watching Johnny as he watches you finish your milkshake. Is it chemistry that people call this? Because there is nothing very appealing about the drink you're having, or about the white light at this place, but there's tension in the way you can't really look away.

He looks like he wants to laugh but is too scared to break whatever is happening. You finish your milkshake with one last swallow of artificial sweetener and lick your lips. He finally breaks.

"Stop looking at me like that." He says it in a way that suggests something that it's already as clear as water.

You bat your eyelashes. "Like what exactly?"

He laughs, sweet and deep, then raises one eyebrow in challenge. "Like you want me to fuck you in the middle of this mcdonalds."

The scandalousness of the statement makes you laugh too, your words sounding half joke half true between smiles. "Well, maybe I want to."

"You don't really strike me as the type." He says it like he's unsure of it, like in the back of his mind he could actually believe you would do something as shocking as that. Truth be told, you don't even know it yourself. There's not a lot you have done when it comes to this and sometimes you even think back to him coming on your face, like it is the wildest thing that has ever happened.

"I could be." He raises his eyebrow again, this time not as a challenge but as genuine curiosity. You would like to know whether that is true or false as well.

Deep down you know that there are not many things you wouldn't let a guy like Johnny do to you.

He laughs, then pauses for a second and taps his fingers on the table as if looking for something to say. "You should let me take you out someday." Is what he decides on.

For some reason you don't think much of that at the moment. "You gotta take someone out before fucking them in public place?" You continue the joke, earning a low laugh and a head shake.

"I'm being serious."

How serious can someone really be at 4am with some alcohol on their system. This time you are the one raising your eyebrows, in pure doubt. He doesn't seem like the type who dates girls they fucked at a party once, or the type who dates girls like you. But thinking about it you don't really know what type of person Johnny is. Or what kind of girl you really are.

You click your teeth before smiling. "We'll see about that."

act 2: la petit mort

It’s not a text you get but instead a facebook invitation. It makes you laugh because men are truly all the same. Liking an old instagram picture, reacting with an emoji to something you post on stories. Never a message being straightforward, it’s like they are all physically incapable of that. You wonder if it’s because of fearing rejection.

See, dating it's not really your thing, never has been and the proof can be found in your few failed attempts. It just made you nervous, constantly on edge because it always involved a lot of confusing moments, of not knowing where it's going or what the other person is thinking. People are usually bad at the most important thing when it comes to this, communication. And you hated to be either on the side of conflict or of creating expectations too early.

But Johnny, well, he has got you interested. In a way that’s dangerous because it doesn’t happen very often, at least not with someone who seems interested as well or even the slightest bit possible.

And danger is not your area of expertise, not as of lately, but still you click on the green button and when saturday comes you’re walking inside a very underground party outside of campus.

You know it's the right place because there's some people outside smoking and the door is slightly open. You walk inside the two floor flat, the small bottle of wine you had brought shaking a little in your bag while you pass some people.

There's music playing but the sound of conversations is louder than that. The scent filling the room is undeniably familiar and it makes you wonder if there's a least one sober person in the room at the moment. You had been to parties like this before, not nearly as loud as the ones that happened on campus and with a lot less people. An amount that by the end of the night will have shrunk and the ones left will gather around the very old looking couch, share one last blunt and say unnecessary deep things and profess their deep affections for each other.

They were fun parties.

You don't talk to anyone because no one really attempts to talk to you first. That's just how you worked, social interactions never came as easy as it seemed to other people. You usually waited for people to approach and if they were nice you would cling to them. Sometimes you even practiced smiling in the foggy mirror after you showered. You practiced saying an icebreaker, smiling fakely after it, but you never really put it in practice.

You see Johnny before he sees you, surrounded by two boys that look particularly close. He looks effortlessly good, like he always does, with a black sweatshirt and light blue jeans. It makes you want to go there and hold his hand, lean against his chest, feel him loom above you and then kiss him in front of everyone as if it was normal, as if it meant nothing. You got this feeling a lot.

When he sees you he smiles big and makes his way to you with long and quick steps that don't take longer than three blinks from you.

"I thought you were going to DJ tonight." You say when he reaches you holding a bottle of beer.

He shrugs, standing very close to you now. "Nah, this is not that kind of party."

His eyes stay glued to you and you fight the urge to fix your hair. You wonder if he thinks you look good on the dress you chose.

"Hmm, it's not the kind of party I thought I would ever see you on." You point out, looking around as someone screams asking for them to play some song by an artist you don't know.

"To be honest this is much more my scene." He explains and this small piece of information he gives you about what he's really like makes you feel giddy for some reason. "The only reason I go to frat parties is because of Jaehyun."

Jaehyun was a dude that played on the football team and looked too good for his own good. Him and Johnny were always together, like they would break if someone separated them. "So that's who you got this weird frat boy aura you got from."

He laughs loudly. "Sure. But what about you? What's your scene?"

You pretend to think for a while. "I don't really know. I like very specific things that I only know I'm actually enjoying at the moment." It's a pretentious reply that you hope he finds funny.

He seems amused by it. "So, a moment type of girl."

He takes a sip of his beer and you take that moment to get the bottle of wine out of your bag. He laughs at it, as if the thought of you carrying wine around is very funny to him.

"Sure." You take a sip of your own. "You seem very keen on figuring out what kind of girl I am."

You enhance your question by raising your eyebrows as he starts leading you to a small empty couch. "Well, you're mysterious so I got to work with what I get." He says while sitting down and you follow, laughing because the last thing you would consider yourself is mysterious in any way.

"Trust me, you would get a lot more information if you just asked."

He nods, doing a whole scene of thinking of something to ask. "Ok then, why psychology?"

You almost laugh at the question because does anyone actually know why they chose their major? "I guess I like that the mind is the only thing that can understand itself." You say it in a pompous way so he knows you are not really that serious about that. "What about you? Why did you choose business?"

He looks forwards and moves as if to get more comfortable on the couch. It makes him get closer to you and your legs touch. "I don't know. Money, status, easier to get a job later on."

That makes you snort. "I don't think right now getting a job is easy in any area." You pause to drink some and then say, "You don't seem like someone who cares about those things, anyway."

He laughs just a little. "My parents do."

By his voice you can tell he doesn't really want to talk about that. Not right now at least.

"Well, at least when you are a famous dj the gossip magazines will be able to mention that you got a business degree you never used."

He leans into you when he laughs.

✿

The rest of the party is fun. You meet some of Johnny's friends that are too high to keep an actual conversation but are fun enough that you have a good time.

Johnny makes you laugh a lot and by the time you finish your wine you feel more drunk in his presence than on the alcohol itself.

There’s just something about Johnny’s presence that makes your legs go a little weak and your heart beat just a little faster, like you have a silly crush. He’s just funny, in a way that comes natural to him, and he makes you feel special, seeming interested in the things you say in a way that has your heart swoon. And on top of all that, like he couldn’t get any more perfect, he’s a whole 6’0 of man, all broad shoulders and always looking down at you with cute smiles.

It doesn't take you two long to reach his dorm, or for you to get on his bed. And when it’s like this, with him hovering over you, thrusting into you in a pace that has you seeing stars, the effect he has on you becomes painfully obvious.

It’s kind of embarrassing, really, how having him on top of you makes you feel so small and safe. How him hitting so deep inside when he gives you a sharp movement of his hips turns your inside into jelly. And all you can do in return is look up at him with glossy eyes and parted lips.

“God, I dreamed of fucking you.” He knows what he’s doing. Even worse, knows how to get to you with just a few words. “Do you like it, baby?” He asks, voice hoarse and lips turning into a barely not there smirk.

“Huh?” Is what you can reply with because you’re way out of it to make sense of his words. It just makes his smirk grow wider, hands moving to grip at your thighs so he can get your legs to open wider.

When he fucks into you faster, his cock hitting the spot that has you absolutely and completely losing your mind, he tries again. “Do you like how — Fuck— How big I feel?” His words are barely a groan from being just affected as you are. He sounds cocky but in a way that makes your eyes cross.

And you nod, enthusiastically so, because you do. It makes you shy, saying it out loud, but he seems well aware how much you love having him inside of you, the feeling of being full, the only thing that swims around your mind.

“Hmm, can you feel me here?” This time the question is accompanied by his palm on your lower belly, where a hint of a bulge forms when he gives you a deep thrust.

“Y-Yes.” You practically wail, body tingling from being so close. “You feel so —- Ughnnn.”

His chuckle is a mix of laughter and a moan, his lips coming down on yours in a kiss that’s as messy as it is desperate. “Are you shy, hmm? C-Can’t even say you like my cock inside of you.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Ah. I like it. I like it so much.”

He groans deep in his chest, hips still working. “You’ll drive me crazy one day, know that?"

What he doesn’t say but you know it’s true, it’s that he likes it as much as you do.

✿

What it becomes, is something you don't know exactly how to describe. All you know is that you spend a lot of time in Johnny's dorm these days. So much that you decorated every detail from it, from the fancy music equipment to the posters on the wall.

He fucks you in every way possible and it's weird that someone could know exactly how to please you, how to get you screaming. And then the two of you talk for hours, something putting on something to watch on his notebook while sharing ice cream, other times just laying down in silence until you fall asleep.

It's something you're not quite sure to navigate. How easy it feels when you are with him, and how right it feels. You two navigate this uncertain thing very smoothly and the need to put a name to it, asking the 'what are we' question escapes you often.

Right now you two lay down on his small bed, bare legs touching and the thin sheet on top of you barely covers anything. It was a rare thing to feel this comfortable with someone.

He's talking about something his mother said to him on the phone, about drinking green tea and you just listen, enjoying the sound of his voice until he stops and looks down at you with a small smile.

"Every time I talk about my parents you get this look." He says and you make a weird face at him.

"No I don't." You defend yourself and he chuckles.

"You do." He accuses. "Are you analyzing my parental relationship?"

You scoff, turning around to face him better. "No. I'm just friendly, feeling sorrow because of the fact you didn't get to choose what to study."

He looks back at you, looking soft with the late afternoon peeking in from his half closed window. "It's fine, really. I can study engine sound later on, there's no expiration. Besides, they did so much for me this is the least I can do."

You fight the urge to point out that he doesn't really owe them anything. It was hard sometimes to make sense of the way other people navigated their parental relationships. So all you say is a small "Yeah…"

"What about your parents? What are they like?"

"I don't know. They are divorced, so I haven't really talked to my father in a while." You hope he doesn't see this as weird. Every time he talks about his family they seem so normal, that it makes you envy him a bit. You always think that if you talk about your parents, people will think you're somehow messed up because of it, so you always keep it short. Johnny doesn't seem to mind it. "My mom is cool, I guess. She's funny."

He hums "I would like to meet her someday." It sounds like a bold statement. Something that means something, but he says with an ease that makes the thought of it seem pleasant. You realize you would like that to happen as well.

"She would like you." Is what you say with as much ease as he did.

A comfortable silence feels the room then, with only the low sound of the fan turning filling your ears. You don't think about how the room smells like sex, or about how summer is approaching and you'll probably not be able to see each other for a while.

"Are you going home for the summer?" You decide to ask.

He turns to look at you again. "Yeah, what about you?"

"I'm gonna start my internship. Work on my thesis." You had talked about both these things before, how important they were for you and the mention of it makes him smile.

"That's really nice." He says and you give him a tiny smile.

You swallow a lump in your throat then, the 2 months you'll stay apart hitting you and you just let the words escape your mouth. "I'm gonna miss you. Really."

He says it back by kissing you, softly and then with meaning. It happens naturally after that, like there wasn't anything else that made more sense than being as close to each other as possible right now.

When he enters you, you look up at him in what you think is awe. Your eyes hazy, barely able to keep open and lips parting in yet another moan.

It’s a nice view, in your defense, of Johnny hovering over you, looking so big as he fucks you so well you’re sure your second orgasm of the night is already approaching. You’re not embarrassed to say that most of the times this happens you go a little dumb in the head, your mind swimming in the gooey feeling of pleasure and all you can think about is him. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

“Oh, oh… oh my god.” You sigh dreamily yet broken enough that it makes him smile when a sharp thrust makes your hips raise a little. He’s always proud of being able to get you like this, to be the only one who does so.

He hums as if agreeing with a very thorough statement, moving his arms so he can press his chest to yours as he fucks into you with calculated thrusts . You can barely move with his weight on top of you, with how he seems to lock you in place with his hips and it’s enough for another broken sob to fall from your lips.

“Good?” He asks in a groan and with a nice slide of his cock inside of you to punctuate the question. You nod frantically because he’s as deep as he can get, knows this very well, and the feeling is something that makes you flutter around him in the desperate need to come.

He kisses your cheek then, two sweet but filthy enough with his heavy exhales against it. His pace never gets too fast, just hinting at it but he maintains a speed that leaves you on the brink of your release. But, you only reach it when he pinches your clit with his fingers, circling it until your lips part in a silent scream and you’re coming again.

And the sounds he makes when your walls squeeze just a little more than he can handle are something else. A deep groan and a pained little sob that you find extremely endearing and hot at the same time, his face contorting as he quickened his pace just enough to push him over the edge, finally coming inside of the condom.

“You look so pretty like this.” He’ll say afterwards when he’s still inside of you, too lazy to move as you brush the hair out of his face.

And you’ll smile, in the way he seems to like so much, and say “You look pretty all the time” just to get him to smile at you.

act 3: yellow light (hit the brakes)

The rain was predictable. It had been raining every other day the entire month, on your way to work early in the morning you always ended up stepping on a pool and ruining your entire day because of your wet socks.

Not a lot of the people you knew had a car, or would willing to go out of their way to give you a lift. Your finger had hovered on top of Johnny’s contact for a while, not out of confidence that he would help you because you knew he would. But you hadn't really talked since summer started. There were random interactions, like replying to one of his instagram stories commenting on how intelectual posting pictures at The Louvre made him look and him making a joke about it or sharing a trivia about french people.

Besides, bothering people made you uncomfortable, as if that somehow put you in debt and in a state of vulnerability with the person.

But Johnny doesn’t look like he’s going to hold a grudge against you over a lift. Instead, when you apologize for making him come all the way there, he says “I was in the area anyway.”

Which you doubt, but you don’t say anything so you just smile and thank him again.

It's somehow weird that you don't even expect him to mention what happened last term. You fight the urge to say it out loud, mention a small detail about the whole thing just for him to laugh and somehow confirm to you that it really happened. It scared you sometimes how things were so momentary, as if life was supposed to be just a collection of things you would remember about and feel sad about.

But it’s easy with Johnny, had been from the start. In a way that makes you think that some people are really meant to meet if only for a moment.

You had expected the casual friendship you had with the other friends you had met at college to fade slowly, which had happened. Without the bond of parties and fun there wasn’t much left there, and that was fine, you were never really lonely because you didn’t have a lot of time to be. Your mind was also set in a routine and state of tiredness that anything out of that seemed to set it in a frenzy and it would just shut down, making it hard to make conversation naturally.

Work was usually quiet, but sometimes the girl that was also accepted for the internship would try to strike conversation about her thesis and while she was talking your gaze would be focused forward while your mind went somewhere else. She never pointed that out, probably because she just wanted to talk and not really listen. You were fine with that.

But with Johnny the silence is not the kind that makes you wonder if you should say something. You think that if you were to get in a daze right now he would try to pull you out, ask what you were daydreaming about, or maybe that’s you building your other life, the one you think about before going to sleep.

You watch the window wipe, swiping away the raindrops as Johnny picks a song. It’s just a little past 6 but the clouds make it look much later.

“How is the internship going?” Johnny asks after he sets on a song you don’t really know.

You shrug. Not long ago you had told him how excited you were for this, as if you thought your life would start with this idealized career you had created in your mind. At the time having to watch people your age sign forms about how depressed they are didn’t seem that bad. “It’s fine, not that busy at night so I get to work on my thesis when they give me those shifts.”

That involves a lot of reading multiple times the same page of articles written by pretentious men that think using difficult sentences makes them smarter. You think your advisor expects the same from you, fancy nomenclature but the human mind is already complicated enough by itself.

“And how is that going?” Johnny has no idea what you’re writing about, no one actually does. Sometimes you even doubt yourself, does it really matter to talk about something that feels so specific to your reality? Because it does seem like everyone else is doing a good job at living and not feeling like they are disconnected from reality.

You scoff and shake your head missing the way his lips corners lift just a little. “The best way it can, I suppose.”

“Good enough.” He says in his cheerful voice. “When are you going to become that kind of person that can't stop talking about what they are studying?"

That makes you laugh a little. If there was something you were familiar with, it was people who loved to talk about their thesis as if they would come up with the solution to all of the world's problems. "I don't think that really suits me." Just mentioning it made you actually a little sick.

"Yeah, because you are mysterious and all."

And there it is. Just this small reference to a past conversation you had with him, alone in your small dorm room, makes you feel giddy. You could even blush if you thought hard enough about it.

"Exactly, a box of surprises." You say, in a funny voice and his laugh makes you smile.

Outside the rain is still going strong and you can see students running around trying to find shelter while laughing and using their backpacks as improvised umbrellas. The sky is completely dark now and it makes you want to be in bed, safe and sound.

You go to ask Johnny about his summer in France, but he beats you to it. He had always been better at conversations, anyway.

"I saw that friend of yours, Ela I think." He mentions casually. "She's dating a friend of mine."

You knew that because of the numerous pictures on your instagram feed, but for some reason you pretend to be mildly surprised "Oh really? I haven't really talked to her in awhile." A shrug. "We don't have much in common, turns out."

He hums sympathetically. "Yeah that makes sense. But they both seem happy."

"Yeah." The topic doesn't really interest you. You can't barely remember a time where your past friends' love lives had any affect on you, now it's just a piece of information you'll forget about in a few hours.

"What about you, seeing anyone at the moment?" The question makes you raise both your eyebrows as you let out a laugh that sounds suspicious. It's a weird thing for him to ask but at the same time not really.

You sigh and he looks at you with a funny face, as if he's amused. I don't think I have the energy for that. What about you?"

He shrugs, turning his face to the front again. "Not really."

Months ago you think you would have made a flirty commentary about that. Something along the lines of 'That's good, I get jealous easily.' and it would have made him laugh. But now you just hum, not out of interest but because you are not sure how you would react to the potential outcome.

It should've felt obvious that he would somehow mention your relationship. You always thought that when you two talked about it, it would be bringing up the months you would see each other every day, and how you spend more time at his place than at your own. But what he says is, "Remember when you refused me?"

He says it in a funny voice, like old friends reminiscing on the past. You get confused with the pace of the conversations and ask "What?"

"At McDonalds. I asked you out and you said 'We'll see about it.'" He says it laughing, which means he's not hurt by that.

"I didn't think you remembered that." You mutter, because you really didn't. "And please, I wasn't rejecting you."

The last part is a lie. At the time you didn't think he was serious about it. Now, you don't know exactly what you think.

"Right, right. When you put me down nicely."

That makes you roll your eyes, laughing alongside him. "Yeah, right."

When the laugh dies down you watch as he taps his fingers on the steering wheel. You feel a weird sensation in your chest.

"Why did you?" He asks, voice not much more serious but the question has weight that his past sentences didn't have.

You could tell him the truth, of what kind of person you thought he was and how that changed. You definitely couldn't open up about what kind of person you were. So you settle for this: "I don't know, I think.. I mean, I'm not sure we would have worked out back then."

He hums loudly, then clicks his tongue. "Yeah. I don't know either." His voice is soft then, mixing perfectly with the muted rain sound and the song still playing. "You can never know."

You turn your face to look at him. There's no way to do it without him noticing that you are staring, but you do it without a hint of shame.

If you thought about it hard enough, about everything that happened, you would still not be able to point out exactly what would have happened if something more serious took place. And that's a weird thing to think about, because there was never a point in your relationship where neither of you decided it was meant to be casual, that's just how it turned out to be.

Later at night you will think about how there's nothing really casual about the way you can perfectly picture Johnny when you close your eyes, laying on your bed shirtless, hair a mess and face illuminated by the sun peaking out your window. How there's nothing casual at all about the fact that it has never felt like it did with anyone else.

But now, you just look at him with your heart ready to burst and you say. " We should watch a movie together someday."

He laughs, looks at you for a second and says "Yeah, we should."

act 4: what’s going on?

You didn’t feel particularly fond of mondays. Having to let go of the leisureliness of the weekend behind and welcome another week ahead never felt like a good idea when your phone alarm would start ringing at 7am.

It's not that the weekend was much better than that. All you ever did was read books that made your head ache for hours and then write never ending paragraphs that you hoped would make sense for anyone besides yourself. It was easy to become some sort of alienated when you stayed focused inside your room for so long, and having to remember that there was a whole life outside was a little painful.

When you walk inside the clinic the sound of the coffee machine being turned on reaches your ears and you mutter a small good morning to the psychiatrist that usually took the morning shifts. She was tall and always looked put together with a blazer jacket and red lipstick. Her friendly face made you suspicious for some reason.

"Good weekend?" She asks as you place your things on the front desk and you spare a smile to make her think you are interested in talking about your weekend.

"Yeah, sure." You turn on the old computer they got for you to use. A blue screen greets your eyes, then it glitches for a second like it always does. "What about you?"

It might sound like you're not a very nice person if you say you don't really care how her weekend went. Or that you would wish the conversation would have stopped at the greeting. But you really don't. These days talking to people takes a lot of effort and most of the time you wish you'd be just swallowed by silence and left alone.

"It was great, thank you." She says while adding sugar to her coffee. You are sitting down now and she turns to look at you with a sympathetic face. "Listen, I have a free spot this morning, if you'd like to talk a little."

You blink slowly, taking a moment to process the words she said, but it really doesn't take a genius to understand she's offering you counseling. Most likely because she thinks you need it.

And you're not about to argue that you don't, because you more than anything else know that you do, but you feel like you're not ready for it yet. As if you have things to figure out first. "Oh, that's very nice of you to offer." You say, uncertain how exactly to handle this. "But I have some things to get done."

The lie is accepted easily but she still raises her eyebrow a little. Still, she says. "Alright, then. Just remember I'm one door away."

You thank her, smiling politely until she finally leaves to her office. The computer is still loading and you let out another deep sigh, considering drinking a cup of coffee but deciding against it to not trouble your anxiety any more.

What happens next couldn't possibly be predicted. You take your phone out of your bag and open instagram out of habit, to pass some time. Johnny's profile is still the first one that shows up on the stories board, probably from all the time you spent messaging each other in the past.

It had been a while since you two talked to each other, but you kept up with his whereabouts from looking at the pictures he posted with friends and of random things. More often than not you fought the urge to reply to them, as if you didn't really know each other anymore.

You don't expect to see him with a girl when you click on his photo. But there he is, with arms around her and a single heart. You tap on to the next one and it's a repost from someone else's instagram, of a picture of him and the girl kissing while laughing.

There's a few words you can use to describe how you feel. Your heart drops and you go cold, blinking very slowly as the pictures change to another person's stories and for a second it's like it didn't happen. Like it was just a trick of the eye.

Would it be silly to cry over this? You think it would so you take a deep breath and try to not think about it anymore.

✿

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that you probably loved him. Or at least felt a deep kind of infatuation. Sometimes at night you lay in bed and wonder what exactly went wrong and you can't really find an answer to that. It just naturally happened.

Maybe you should have said something, maybe if you did things would've stayed the same. You wish that at the time you knew what to say but now it was a little too late.

You stare at your blank ceiling, your skin tingling where it touches you sheets. Looking at couples always made you feel weird, with jealousy maybe because you never thought that was something for you. Being in love has always been something that other people got to experience, and you got to watch it but never try it for yourself.

Maybe there was something wrong with how you worked, how you viewed this whole thing. You wish you knew what so you could fix it.

Sometimes when you close your eyes you imagine someone wrapping arms around you, with a familiar cologne that makes you feel at home. the person doesn’t complain when you hug them tighter, probably knows this is what you need.

You think of all the men you had dated, the ones who disappeared out of nowhere and the ones who treated you like shit because you allowed it. You didn't really know how it really had to work until you met Johnny.

It had never felt like that. Gentle and soft and easy.

How to separate true loneliness from the mere need to feel something, to have someone want you? That’s a trick question and you think about it until you fall asleep.

✿

For you last month in college, you don’t do much.

The internship ends with the old lady that was in charge of the clinic telling you what an amazing job you did, and how she knows for sure you will exceed in the area. She writes a beautiful recommendation letter, mentions a few professional names and then sends you away.

A week before its deadline you send out your finished thesis to your advisor, after spending half an hour staring at your email until you can press send. You got a reply two hours later with pleasantries and a date for your final presentation.

As you wait for it there's nothing a lot to do. Some days you walk around campus without a real destination in mind, stopping by the cafeteria and the library on your way. There's not many people around this time of the year, most have gone already and the ones that stayed spend time rehearsing for presentations or hanging out with friends.

You get texts from people you haven't talked to in months, wishing you good luck and inviting you to parties that you attend once or twice just to get one last taste of it.

It’s weird that you don’t feel the deep sense of realization you thought you would. You lay down on the small bed you slept on for two years, stare at the empty walls of your dorm now that you’ve put all your things away, and you feel almost normal. Sure there’s a little ball of emptiness and excitement on your stomach alongside pride for finishing this and for having grown up so much since freshman year. But besides that you just feel normal.

Maybe this is what being alive is, experiencing life changing moments and not feeling like they mean much. Maybe some moments are just meant to be remembered as special, and not lived as such.

Your presentation goes well, you don’t trip over your words and your teachers compliment your great work afterwards. You cry, in front of a bunch of people you don’t know, and let out a deep breath of relief.

Ten days later you graduate, wearing the usual attire and walking on stage with a smile on your face when your name is called. No one screams your name or cheers loudly because plane tickets were too expensive for your parents to attend. The claps from your classmates are still nice.

You don’t expect to see Johnny there, but he shows up wearing a suit that looks alien compared to the clothes he wears daily. He looks good, familiar and it makes a lump form on your throat.

You hadn’t really talked to each other in a while. It had been a natural thing to happen, for the two of you to fall a little apart. But still, when he waves at you, you make your way to him easily.

“Finally got your ticket out of this place, huh?” He jokes with a smile on his lips that you can’t help but mimic.

“Yeah, I’m finally free.” You joke back.

You inhale softly when he hugs you, so close that you can hear his heartbeat. He surrounds you with him and you think you would drown right now if he allowed you to. “Congratulations, ____.” He says quietly, almost whispering your name.

You’re both smiling when you part. “Soon it’ll be you.”

Before he can reply a familiar face makes her way to where you two are. Johnny circles her waist when she gets close enough and you fight as to not let your smile fall. He introduces her as his girlfriend, a biomedicine student that smiles big when she congratulates you on graduating and expresses how she can’t wait for her turn to come.

She’s very pretty is what you keep thinking about as you make small talk that feels a little painful.

After some time Johnny says “Well, we should leave you to go talk to your family. It was really nice to see you, ____.”

His words sound genuine and you smile when he hugs you again.

You don’t tell them there’s not really anyone you know for you to talk to. Instead, you walk to your dorm with your heels clicking on the asphalt.

act 5: old friend / late spring

Your feet hurt a little from standing too much and not even the coldness of the beer you’re having can make you ignore it.

The truth is that you really wanted to be home right now, eating leftovers while you watched a movie. But instead, you’re in the bar your colleagues always attended after work to share a laugh and complain about mundane things while enjoying the 2 for 1 deal they had on friday for happy hour.

Working in an office with people wearing suits hadn’t been what you had envisioned yourself doing two years after graduating. You had always dreamt of having your own clinic, becoming a therapist or even working at a hospital. But times were hard and the human relations department of a marketing company had been what you had to go for.

It’s not as boring as it sounds, and you get to know about every gossip firsthand so you settle for it very easily. But having to be at a bar after a whole tiring week was not on your favorites list.

You excuse yourself from the group when they start talking about something you were tired of hearing. A gossip about the boss sleeping with someone from the finance department that you knew about months ago.

You walk to the bar, cursing your heels until you finally sit on a stool, ordering another beer that you know is gonna be your last before you decide to escape. There’s loud conversation happening all around you and a song playing over it. Your back hurts a bit and you wonder when life has become so mundane.

Lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice the man that sits right next to you until he’s ordering a beer and the voice seems familiar.

Your heart jumps out of your chest when you look at him and Johnny stands there in all his glory, with blonde hair and a very fancy suit. “Oh my fucking god.” Is the only thing you manage to mumble.

For a second you think you might be dreaming, but when he turns and looks at you his face contorts in the most amusing expression of surprise.

Maybe this is what being alive is, experiencing life changing moments and not feeling like they mean much. Maybe some moments are just meant to be remembered as special, and not lived as such.

The two of you hug while laughing and he keeps muttering something that sounds like a ‘no way.’

“I can’t believe this! What are you doing here?” You ask excitedly and he laughs.

“I’m working on a office a few blocks from here.” He explains. “Just started a few days ago.”

“I work around here too.” You exclaim and it’s like you could buzz from how excited you feel about this.

You talk about things easily, both sharing what you have been doing for the past years.

“This is crazy. I haven’t heard from you since college.” He says and it makes you freeze, blinking slowly but it doesn’t last long until you are covering your surprise by chuckling. Suddenly you’re hit with memories from those years and everything that happened between the two of you. Your eyes meet his and it strikes you that he’s probably thinking the same thing as you are.

You shake your thoughts away, leaning on the counter with one elbow and then resting your face on your palm. “Who would’ve thought we would reunite after those years in a sketchy bar.” You joke, in a playful tone to keep the conversation going.

He chuckles, bringing his hand to his face before he replies. “I would have never guessed this was your kind of scene.”

The way he says it makes you snort. “It’s definitely not.”

“Yeah.” He nods while laughing, “Still a moment kind of girl then?”

You nod then, making an amused sound while you take a sip of your beer. “Seems to me like you still got me all figured out.”

“Do I? I used to think that I did but after all it happened I wasn’t so sure anymore.” He says avoiding your eyes a little and a lump forms on your throat. “To be honest I don’t really understand what happened.”

You nod, turning to face him. “I think it wasn’t the right time.” It’s what you decide to say and he hums.

“When is ever the right time for anything?” He asks and it makes you laugh loudly.

You share a look then, one that says more than you could ever do with words. He smiles and then you smile back, like old friends would. “Maybe we met again for a reason.”

Deep down, you know this is one of those moments happening. One that you’ll look back on the future and remember that it is where it all began. Again.

#johnny scenarios #JOHNNY SMUT #nct smut #nct scenarios #neowritingsnet #i honestly think this is bad lol #but well ENJOY

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 4 years ago

Text

Hot Mess

Prompt: Hi, so I really flippin love your writing style and I was wondering if you could write a fic of the sides just flirting(mainly Janus because we all know he's the best flirter) with each other, like in (Un)wanted chapter 1 where Janus was flustering Virgil really badly, that sort of thing. Could be DLAMP or DLAMPR I don't mind. You don't have too I was just wondering... Thanks either way!

First off, thank you so much for the prompt! Second...

Listen. Everything is awful and I don’t understand how flirting works. Ever. Actually, you know what, no. No one understands what flirting is. There have been so many fucking tests run and no one can ever tell who is flirting ever. It’s bullshit. Everything is bullshit and I’ve never understood a damn thing in my entire life and I’m sure as hell not about to start now. So.

That being said, here.

Read on Ao3

Pairings: yes. LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR.

Warnings: sympathetic janus & remus

Word Count: 5884

If you ask anyone whose fault is it that everyone, for some reason, starting flirting with each other, they’ll blame Janus. Even Janus. He knows what he did. It’s his fault.

Anyway, there are a few things that are a given. Everyone flirts with everyone, with the one exception of Roman and Remus. They’re brothers. It doesn’t work. Anything else is fair game. Are they being serious? Who knows. Probably. Maybe. Keeping anything straight around the Mindscape is complicated enough, for obvious reasons.

Doesn’t mean there can’t be some level of trying to keep track of what’s bound to happen at some point.

Patton’s flirting is both the least obvious and the most obvious. It’s super cheesy pick up lines delivered completely genuinely and the sweetest pet-names ever. But the problem is that’s not too different from how he normally is. For some reason, the Dad Coaxing Tone™ is the worst and he knows it. He doesn’t flirt nearly as often as some of the others do and he’s surprisingly sweet about it. It normally just makes them kind of giggly and slightly redder than normal. Always comes with hugs, which is never something to complain about. Cheeky comments and cheeky smiles that leave them second-guessing everything that just happened. And, of course, by the time they’re just about finished wrapping their heads around what just happened, he’s back with another line and here they go again.

Roman.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

They should have expected this because his job is romance but fucking hell.

His way of showing love is through poking fun at things so…all the teasing. All of it. Not just verbal teasing, even though that in itself is enough to make everyone melt into puddles, but he gets close. Like, sneak-up-and-hug-you-from-behind kind of close. Or he’ll just stand really close with a smirk as he teases them, waiting for them to give in and run into his arms. Or he’ll crowd them against the wall. Or the counter. Someone probably dared him to do this—or not, because, again, it’s Roman—but he definitely pinned Logan to the wall and didn’t let up until his grip on Logan’s wrists were the only thing keeping him standing. Also, super gushy pet-names. Like, super gushy. Like Patton, very fond of telling them how cute they are, including asking them why they’re hiding such a cute face, come on, he wants to see how adorable they are. With Janus and Logan, he makes his voice lower, taking advantage of how close that lets him get. Dramatic monologues or sneaking up and dipping them are a must. He goes full Disney Prince and doesn’t let up until they can’t even ramble anymore, smiling down at their bright red cheeks. With the others, he makes his voice very sweet, soft, and gentle. He gets right in their faces so they can’t go anywhere and riles them up until they’re a melted squirmy mess. It’s not uncommon to find someone—normally Patton or Virgil— an absolute puddle with Roman beaming, just twisting them round and round his finger. Merciless and shameless flirt. Roman is the actual worst and they all love him.

Virgil is affectionately known as The Meme Flirter. No prizes for guessing who came up with that. He picks one nickname for each of them and just peppers it into conversation with a wink and a smirk. The master of timing. He doesn’t need to spend ages winding them up, he just picks the right moment and they’re covering their faces and squirming. Also uses the technique of being close but not close enough to touch. Sometimes he’ll team up with Roman or Logan and just be there all ‘you know he’s right’ when they look to him for help, or engage in conversation with whoever else is flirting about how red they’re getting, or how much they’re squirming. Or he’ll engage in flirt competitions. He’s way more confident about it than they ever anticipate and it always catches them off guard. He keeps an eye on them though, because he knows the others (especially Roman) can get carried away. “You don’t wanna break ‘em, do you?”

(They do sometimes but shh.)

For Logan, infodumping is the actual best way of expressing affection and you will not convince him otherwise. He’ll research topics so they can talk about them together if they want but if you think that is it then boy howdy you are wrong. This guy keeps notebooks on the best way to fluster each and every one of the Sides, okay. He knows his shit. He infodumps about them too, phrasing compliments as provable facts. Will pretend to be confused about why they’re getting so flustered, he’s just telling them the truth, why are you so red? It would be convincing if he weren’t purposefully making his voice as low as it can go and smirking. Also a teasy bastard. He will just ask them to do things he knows they can’t help doing when they get flustered, especially with Patton or Janus. He’s asked Janus to squee for him more often than he would like. (Liar.) Or they’ll be protesting and telling them to knock it off and he’ll just point out that ‘no one is holding you. Nor are we blocking any exits. By all means, if you wish to leave, then you may.’ Knowing perfectly well they’re puddles and puddles can’t move. But then ‘oh, you must not want to leave.’ ‘Accidental’ touches make it worse, as well as nonchalantly adding in pet-names. He’s the one who figured out that pet-names make them melt, by the way. Also figured out that firmer touches help ground them, so he offers them a deal sometimes. If they like, they can come and cuddle with him while he flirts. It gives them an excuse to cuddle and a place to hide, but that does mean he’s murmuring right into their ears. It’s a double-edged sword. When he teams up with Roman they are the worst, especially when they agree that it’s necessary to reestablish emotional stability. Or they’re bored, snickering when poor Virgil bolts out of the room from too much blush. Virgil will run away if it gets to be too much, he’s got that built into his whole deal as anxiety, but Janus…forget about it. That team-up definitely has overwhelmed the poor thing multiple times. You can’t freeze with these predators, they’ll eat you alive. They definitely teased and flirted with him until he burst into tears one time, it was…an experience.

“Enough!”

Roman pauses, midway through some dramatic gesture, faltering at the crack in Janus’s voice. Logan glances at him before looking back at Janus, his hands still pressed hard to his face, his shoulders tense. He takes a small step forward and tilts his head.

“Janus?”

He calls his name softly until he lowers his hands, unable to stop the comforting noise when he sees the tears on his cheeks. Beside him, Roman inhales sharply, only to make a noise of protest when he immediately covers his face again.

“Janus,” he says, dropping the flirty persona immediately, “may I touch you?”

Please say yes, please.

He nods. Logan reaches out, gently covering his hands to coax them away, clutching them tightly.

“Too much?” Janus nods. “My apologies, it was not my intention to overwhelm you.”

“Nor mine, little snake,” Roman says quietly.

“I know.”

“Would you like us to stay,” Logan asks gently, giving his hands a squeeze, “or leave you alone?”

Janus shuffles, his mouth drawing tight and his hands tensing. Logan is content to wait patiently for him to make up his mind, but Roman seems to have other ideas.

“Oh dear,” he murmurs, stepping a little closer, “we really overdid it this time, didn’t we, darling?”

“I said enough,” Janus mumbles.

“I know, I know, I’m done,” he assures, reaching out to tenderly wipe his cheek, “I promise. Oh, oh you poor thing…”

“Roman,” Logan chides gently, “I don’t think…”

He trails off when Janus frees one of his hands, tentatively reaching out for Roman. Roman swoops in, gathering him into a hug so tight his fingers whiten from his grip on him. As Logan watches, Roman tilts his head slightly, beginning to pepper kisses along the side of his face.

“I don’t understand,” he says quietly, “how…how is this not more overwhelming?”

“I think you’re going to have to wait to ask him that, Specs,” Roman murmurs, “because I don’t know that either.”

“Then how did you know it would work?”

Roman looks up at him, sadness coloring his gaze. “Because a different face told me it would.”

Ah.

“I’m right here,” Roman says softly, rocking Janus in his arms, “I’m right here, little snake. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Janus all but slumps into Roman’s embrace, his head tucking neatly against his shoulder as he presses more kisses to his face.

“I have you, alright? I’m not going to hurt you, you know I’m not.” Roman adjusts his grip. “It’s just like we always do, hmm? I rile you up and then you come here and I cuddle you right back down.”

He pulls back to gently catch another tear with his thumb. “Just pushed a bit too far this time, hmm?”

I rile you up and cuddle you back down.

Like we always do.

I’m not going to hurt you, you know I’m not.

“I understand,” Logan breathes, “I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

“What’s happening.” Logan steps forward, gently resting his hands on the part of Janus’s back not covered by Roman’s arms. “And how I can help.”

“By all means then,” Roman says, “tell us.”

“Janus is…not accustomed to receiving compliments,” Logan begins, lightly hushing Janus’s noise of protest.

“It’s true, little snake,” Roman says.

“Yes, and we will work on that,” Logan promises, “but that does make it easy to blindside or disarm him with comments of that nature. Hence…”

He motions between the three of them.

“You’re not used to experiencing affection like this,” he continues softly, “and especially not through flirting or playful teasing, which is why it doesn’t take much effort on our parts to fluster you.”

Janus makes another noise of protest and he shushes him gently.

“I’m not trying to tease, Janus, I promise,” he murmurs, “but it doesn’t, does it? It makes you uncomfortable because you don’t understand it, not really, so you don’t know what to expect next. We have not exactly been…forthcoming with affection in the past, have we?”

Janus nods hesitantly.

“This, however,” Logan continues, leaning a little more of his weight onto his hands, “is a form of affection you understand very well.”

He steps a little closer, rubbing firm circles into Janus’s back.

“You are a very heat-sensitive person,” he says, “and you understand how to give and receive affection in this language, so to speak. When one of us touches you while we are teasing or flirting with you, it heightens the loss of control you feel because it’s something that should be familiar, but it’s being used in an unfamiliar way.”

“But when it’s like this,” Logan continues, leaning closer, “it’s calming. Grounding. Especially after you’ve just been in a state of higher stress. You know what we mean by it.”

“When I put my hand on your shoulder or your back,” he murmurs, shifting his weight further onto his hands, “you know it means I’m here, right here, and I’m not going anywhere. When Roman kisses you—“ Logan smiles when Roman uses that as an excuse to press another kiss to Janus’s forehead— “you know it means he cares about you, that he won’t let anything hurt you.”

“Look at our resident genius over here,” Roman says, leaning over to peck Logan’s cheek too, smirking when it brings a flush to his face, “aww, Logan, feeling left out?”

“No,” Logan replies stiffly, ignoring the growing smirk on Roman’s face, “and even if I were, we have more pressing matters to deal with.”

“No, no,” Janus mumbles, “I’m good now, I can leave, it can be Logan’s turn.”

Roman raises his eyebrows. ‘Are you gonna let that go?’

Logan will most certainly not.

“I can assure you,” he rumbles into Janus’s ear, “I am perfectly satisfied with our roles as they currently stand.”

Roman chuckles when Janus squirms in his grip.

“After all,” Logan continues, “we have just established that this can be quite the cathartic experience for you, it wouldn’t do at all to interrupt it before it is complete.”

“Did you just…create a scientific excuse to do this in the name of maintaining emotional stability?”

Logan smirks. “Perhaps.”

“You know better than to try and argue with Logan about science,” Roman adds.

Janus swats at them half-heartedly but doesn’t protest when Roman lets him go a few moments later, pressing one last kiss to his forehead and leaving. Logan taps him gently on the shoulder.

“Am I correct, Janus?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles, a little red still on his cheeks, “you’re right.”

“Good.” Logan reaches out and slides the tissue box closer. “And…thank you.”

He looks up, confused. “For what?”

Logan smiles. “For telling us it was too much, and for letting us help.”

That’s the first time Logan’s able to determine exactly how best to help one of them calm down, especially after one of them is incredibly flustered. The first time he implements it is under…slightly different circumstances.

He’s not quite sure how Virgil and Roman talked him into playing Truth Or Dare, but here he is, on the couch, Roman sprawled across the floor, Virgil perched on the back. So far he’s had to cover his ears from Roman belting the third Disney medley in an hour and he has several questions for Remus about where his good clipboard is. Then it’s Virgil’s turn again and he picks dare.

“Are you sure, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance?” Roman asks.

“Just hit me with it, Princey.”

Roman taps his fingers against his chin, glancing around. His eyes land on a spot over Logan’s shoulder and he grins. Logan follows his gaze and sees Janus in the kitchen.

“I dare you,” Roman announced, “to flirt with Patton for two minutes.”

Virgil snorts. “That’s it?”

Roman just sweeps his arm dramatically. “Your dare awaits.”

Virgil shrugs, getting up off the couch and making his way to the kitchen. The instant he’s almost there, Roman scrambles up, jumping onto the couch next to Logan, almost landing on top of him, hooking his chin over the back.

Logan raises an eyebrow. “Comfortable?”

“Shush, Pocket Protector,” Roman says, flapping a hand, “and get your timer out.”

Logan rolls his eyes, checking his watch and watching Virgil lean on the counter, propping his chin on his hand.

“Hey there, cutie.”

Patton startles, whirling around to see Virgil. “Hey! Wow, you scared me, uh, yeah, hi there!”

“Sorry,” Virgil smiles, not sounding the least bit sorry, “can’t help it. You look like a cute little bunny when you’re startled.”

“Oh, god, not this,” Patton mutters, turning around, his face already starting to flush.

Virgil grins, his tongue between his teeth as Patton tries to go back to what he was doing. “You just make it too easy, cutie.”

“I do not!”

The grin turns feral. “Then why don’t you turn around and show me that pretty face?”

“Nope. No thank you. I’m going to stay over here.”

“Why, afraid of proving me right?”

“No.”

“Then come on, cutie,” Virgil says, tilting his head, “turn around.”

Patton leans his head back, sighing before turning around and spreading his arms. “Happy?”

“Mm.” Virgil grins. “You’ve got such pretty eyes, Patton.”

He stutters, his face already turning red. “Oh my god. Stop!”

“Can’t help it cutie,” Virgil says, waggling his eyebrows and chuckling when Patton covers his face, “I’ve been dared to do this for two minutes!”

“Good to know,” Patton squeaks, “that this is only happening because it’s mandatory.”

“Aw, don’t be like that, cutie, you know I’ll flirt with you anyway.”

“That is not what I meant!”

Virgil only laughs harder. “You might wanna pace yourself, cutie, you’ve still got…”

He trails off, looking at Logan. Logan checks his watch.

“One minute and twelve seconds.”

“One minute and twelve seconds left,” Virgil finishes, propping himself back up on the counter, “so…”

The sight is entertaining, Logan has to admit. Patton goes bright and flushed, his eyes squeezing shut, mumbling little things to himself and trying not to whine every time Virgil opens his mouth.

“Aw,” Virgil teases when he breaks and tries to bite down on his knuckle, “don’t muffle yourself, cutie.”

“Goodness, you need to stop.”

“I want your voice on my playlist, it’s so pretty.”

“Why?”

“I just said.” Virgil props his chin on his hand again. “It’s so pretty.”

“No, why are you doing this?”

Virgil smirks. “Because you’re so pretty.”

And with that, Patton’s reduced to another blushy panic with plenty of muttered comments and Virgil’s standing there, grinning. It’s refreshing, seeing Virgil so confident, so sure of himself. It looks good on him.

And, of course, Patton is objectively adorable.

The scene is so captivating, in fact, that Logan glances down at his watch only to realize the two minutes have expired.

“Time,” he calls, much to Patton’s relief.

“Thank goodness.”

“Aw,” Virgil pouts, “you’ll hurt my feelings, cutie.”

“Nope. No more.” Patton points a stern finger at him, the effect slightly undone by his pink cheeks and the fact that he’s obviously fighting a smile. “You get out.”

Virgil just winks and saunters back to the couch.

“Stellar performance, Dark and Stormy,” Roman declares, giving Virgil a round of applause, “truly excellent.”

“Well done,” Logan says, “that was quite the display of self-confidence.”

Virgil just lifts a shoulder and lets it drop. “Eh. Easy dare. My turn now, right?”

“Indeed.”

Virgil narrows his eyes, glancing between the two of them. “Princey. Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Roman answers immediately, “what kind of prince would I be if I turned down a challenge?”

Virgil smirks. “Alright, then. You have two minutes to make Patton redder than I did.”

“Done.”

“Virgil,” Logan chides lightly as Roman prances off toward the kitchen.

“Relax,” Virgil says, settling in to watch, “it’s not like he’s gonna hurt him.”

“No, he’s just going to fluster him with the end goal of rendering him inarticulate.”

Virgil smirks. “Exactly. Now shut up and watch.”

“Oh, Addie,” Roman calls, smirking at the way Patton startles.

“Oh, um, hey, Roman, um, what do you want?”

“I just want to talk to you, Patton.”

“Oh goodness,” Patton mumbles, already covering his face as Roman crowds him against the counter, “don’t say my name like that, that’s really mean!”

Roman’s eyes gleam. “Dearest, if you wanted me to call you pet names instead, you only had to ask, my sweet, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

“No!”

Roman just smirks, bracing his hands on either side of him. “No? Then what should I call you, gorgeous?”

Any reply is too muffled for Logan to hear. Virgil snickers as Roman sighs dramatically.

“Fine, I’ll just have to call you by your lovely, lovely name.” He leans forward to try and peer through the gaps in his fingers. “Almost as lovely as you.”

He chuckles when Patton whines again, spluttering like a fish out of water. “You’re so cute when you’re at a loss for words.”

“What do you want?”

“Oh, I was dared to make you redder than Virgil did.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re absolutely stunning, darling,” Roman answers easily, “and it’s stunningly easy to flirt with you.”

“It is not!”

Virgil snorts and Logan raises an eyebrow. Roman’s smirk widens.

“Of course is it, cutie pie,” he coos, “all I have to do is this.”

“N-no, don’t do that,” Patton stammers, trying to cover his face with a dish towel, only for Roman to catch his hands and effortlessly pull them out of the way, lacing their fingers together and holding them against the counter.

“What’s the problem, sweetie?” He gently blows a strand of hair out of Patton’s face. “Is it just that I’m…right here? Talking like this to you? Is that it, honey?”

“Mmm!”

“Hmm?” Roman tilts his head. “What’s that, cutie?”

“It’s not even flirting,” Patton manages, still looking as if he’s trying to sink into the counter.

“I’m not even saying anything, cutie,” Roman coos, “and there’s nothing I enjoy better than being able to render you speechless like this.”

Logan has to admit, Roman’s teasing is enough to make him shift on the couch, a slight flush rising unbidden to his face. Judging by the way Virgil starts fiddling with the strings on his hoodie, he’s not immune to it either.

It really should not be that much of a surprise that Roman is one of the most proficient flirters in the Mindscape. Romance, passion, and desire all fall under his purview. And yet, here they all are, slowly growing more and more flustered.

“Okay,” Virgil mutters just loud enough for Logan to hear, “Princey’s getting me and he’s not even trying.”

“I concur.” Logan adjusts his tie and glances at his watch. “Thirty seconds.”

“Come on.” Roman tugs gently at the towel in Patton’s hands. “You have to show me your cute little face, otherwise I won’t know if the dare’s over yet!”

He finally manages to get the towel away from him and gasps, quickly reaching out to cup his cheeks before he can cover his face again. “Oh, just look at you, you’re even cuter up close!”

“R-Roman!”

“Yes, cutie pie?”

“Let me go!”

“Go where,” Roman murmurs, pushing Patton gently against the counter, “can you think of anywhere better to be than right here, in my arms, while I tease you silly? Hmm? You’re not even trying to get away, sunshine.”

“Time.”

Roman chuckles, stepping back, perching his hands on his hips. “What do you think, redder than Virgil’s go?”

“Hmm,” Virgil hums, leaning over the back of the couch, “dunno. Can’t see his face from here.”

“I’m mad at you,” Patton mutters, already covering his face.

“Aw, no,” Roman purrs, “no you aren’t. Come on, gorgeous, if you don’t show us your face, I’ll just have to do it again!”

“No.” Patton forces his hands down, making Roman chuckle again. Sure enough, his face is beet red, covering his skin with such intensity that for a moment, Logan worries. Then Virgil snorts.

“Aww, he’s so cute!”

“I know, isn’t he?”

“Oh my goodness.”

“Virgil,” Logan chides lightly.

“You’re no fun, teach,” Virgil says, waving a hand, but he concedes. “Yeah, alright, Princey. You win.”

Roman bows, sweeping his hand in a wide arc, before taking one of Patton’s hands and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Thank you, sunshine.” With a wink, he strides back to the couch and sits down triumphantly. “That was fun!”

His eyes widen when he sees Logan adjust his glasses nervously and Virgil quickly flips up his hood.

“Don’t tell me that you got flustered too,” he teases, reaching up to poke Logan’s arm.

“Enough,” Logan says quickly, “your turn to ask.”

For a moment, he braces himself for Roman to not, indeed, agree, but then Roman simply pouts and tilts his head up.

“Logan, dare or dare?”

Logan blinks. “That is not the game, Roman.”

“Yeah, but you’re the only one who hasn’t done a dare yet, so…” Roman shrugs. “Dare or dare?”

“It seems pointless for me to choose between two of the same options,” Logan sighs, “but I will select ‘dare.’”

Roman tilts his head this way and that, considering Logan. Then he grins.

“I don’t think it’s fair if we leave Logan out,” he says to Virgil, “do you?”

“Oh, goodness, hasn’t Patton had enough?”

Virgil narrows his eyes at him. “So you don’t wanna have a turn?”

Logan fiddles with his watch. “…I didn’t say that.”

“Marvelous!” Roman claps his hands. “Oh, don’t be so shy, Logan!”

“We know you’ve got notebooks full of ways to fluster us, L,” Virgil adds, “you’re good at it, okay?”

Logan is quite proud of his ability to flirt, although how the others know about his research is a worrying question.

“So,” Roman says cheerfully, “you have two minutes, but you have a harder job than we did.”

Logan frowns and Roman’s grin widens.

“You have two minutes to make Patton melt.”

“Oh, Logan’s screwed,” Virgil chortles, tugging at his hoodie strings, “he’s so wound up right now.”

Well.

Logan gets up, adjusts his tie, and heads for the kitchen, ignoring the way Roman and Virgil scramble up onto the couch to watch.

Patton’s leaning over the counter, pressing his hand to his forehead. He glances up when Logan enters the kitchen and pauses. Contrary to his previous statement, he doesn’t look upset or angry, simply exhausted.

“You too, hmm?”

“I’m afraid so.”

Patton groans, letting his head drop onto the counter. “Did I do something? Or are you all just bored?”

“We’re bored,” Virgil shouts, “and you’re cute!”

“Shh, it’s not your turn anymore!”

“Shut up, Princey.”

Logan rolls his eyes fondly, stepping closer. Patton straightens up, waving a hand.

“Go on. Just get it over with.”

“And I thought Roman was dramatic,” Logan remarks dryly, “but I am not keeping you here. If you truly wish to leave…”

He gestures toward the stairs. Patton glances between him and the stairs.

“…really?”

“By all means,” Logan says, lowering his voice and leaning against the wall to demonstrate he had no intentions of moving, “be my guest.”

He watches, carefully keeping his face blank, as Patton starts to edge around the counter. He eyes the little bit of space he’s left and he can see the moment he realizes it’s not enough.

“Okay,” he says, “I’m gonna go now.”

“I know.” Logan tilts his head and smiles. “I’m not stopping you.”

He stops out of his reach and stares at the gap again. One more little push, then.

“You know…” Logan adjusts his glasses and looks Patton up and down. “You do not seem to be particularly…eager to leave, Patton.” He lets the corner of his mouth turn up into a smirk. “Could it be that…you do not wish to leave?”

Patton takes the bait.

As soon as Patton gets close enough, Logan hooks his foot around his ankle and blocks his exit, not bothering to hide his smirk this time. “However,” he says quietly, “I do have a task to perform.”

“You,” Patton mumbles, closing his eyes, “are mean.”

“Then allow me to make it up to you.” Logan moves, using his weight to push him back into the kitchen. “I have a proposition.”

“Logan…”

Logan smiles, leaning against the counter. “Come here.”

“That sounds awful.” Logan raises his eyebrows. “…okay, okay, I’m coming.”

Patton stops in front of him, his arms wrapped protectively around his waist. He does indeed look very cute.

“Touch can be very grounding for you,” Logan says quietly, careful to keep his voice too low for Roman and Virgil to hear, “so if you like, you may cuddle with me for the duration of the two minutes.”

“…really?”

“Yes, really.” He holds out one hand, palm up. “Or, you may leave. I won’t stop you this time.”

He hugs himself tighter, glancing between the stairs and Logan’s hand. He tilts his head.

“Come here, Patton,” he murmurs.

He takes his hand.

He pulls Patton closer, opening his arms and letting him hug him nervously. He hugs him back, creating a little pocket of intimacy apart from the rest of the room.

“There…” Logan leans down to whisper in his ear. “Isn’t that better? Now you have something to hold onto, something to hide your face, hmm?”

Patton nods, his face buried in his shoulder.

The other thing about having Patton in his arms is that he can murmur directly into his ear, which both prevents Roman and Virgil from hearing anything he’s saying and makes flustering him much, much easier. He says as much, smiling when Patton whines and tightens his grip.

“Do you know what my dare was, Patton?” When he shakes his head, Logan reaches up to gently run his hand through his hair. “It was not, in fact, to fluster you, but to make you melt.”

“M-melt?”

“Yes, dear,” Logan smirks when Patton shudders involuntarily. “Do you like the pet names, little one?”

“Logan…”

“Shh,” he murmurs, running his hand through his hair again, “it’s quite alright, dear. Physical affection helps you relax, pet names make you feel cared for. It makes sense.

“You are a sweetheart. No, no, don’t disagree with me,” he hushes, “you are. You care very much about how you can help other people and you do, sweetheart. It follows that having such affections be returned make you feel good.”

He tightens his grip, cradling his head against his shoulder. “You feel good right now, don’t you, dear?”

“…yes.”

“Then, truly, how can you blame us for wanting to call you so many?” Logan tilts his head a little more. “You always get so flustered by it.”

“No, I don’t…”

“You clearly do,” he purrs, “you’re not hiding it well, dear. I can feel how warm your face is, pressed into me like that.”

As he speaks, he feels it grow warmer still. He chuckles.

“Oh, there’s really no need to be so embarrassed, dear,” he murmurs, “it makes complete sense. Hugs have been proven to decrease stress, reduce blood pressure, and increase the production of oxytocin.“ He smirks. “Quite the addictive drug, no?”

Patton whines and he runs his hand slowly down his spine, pulling his hips against his.

“You are smaller than me—“

“Hey!”

“—you are, which increases the feeling of protection,” he murmurs, “and safety, and thus you will relax.”

He draws the word out with deliberate slowness, the end of it turning into a chuckle as he trembles in his hold.

“That’s it, dear,” he says softly, “relax. Because there’s one more reason you’re going to melt for me.”

Logan pauses, glancing up to see Roman and Virgil staring at them over the edge of the kitchen counter. He smirks and puts his mouth deliberately close to Patton’s ear.

“You care for me, don’t you, Patton,” Logan whispers, his breath ghosting over his neck, “you do, don’t you? You care for me.”

Patton whimpers.

“Say it, dear,” Logan coaxes, “say you care for me?”

“…of course I do,” comes the strangled whisper.

“Of course you do,” he purrs, “of course you do, and here you are…wrapped up in my arms…letting me call you pet names…letting you hide your blush in the crook of my neck…”

He shifts one last time, making sure Roman and Virgil can see. Raising his voice slightly, he cups the back of Patton’s head protectively. He glances at his watch.

“Ready?” He threads his fingers through the baby hairs on the back of Patton’s neck.

“One…two…three, melt for me, dear.”

The two minutes run out just as Patton whines and melts into a blushing little puddle in Logan’s arms.

“Holy shit,” Logan hears Virgil mutter, “he fucking did it.”

“I’m never underestimating him again.” Roman throws his hands up. “He did it in two minutes.”

He tightens his grip, his nails scratching the back of his neck. “Good job, dear.”

And if it makes him shudder and lean into him a little more, well, that’s just something else to add to the notebook.

It’s cathartic; he can wind them up, make them all flustered, and then open his arms and cuddle them right back down, give them the reassurance of getting all worked up in a safe environment where nothing’s really gonna hurt them. Plus, if they’re too tired to protest when he peppers kisses all over them, that’s just a bonus.

Janus—the one whose fault this is—is classic spy movie seduction. Textbook. His silver-tongue makes compliments as smooth as his scales and subtle touches that make their heads spin. Pet names, snarky comments, teasing, the lot of it. He knows they have a thing for his voice. All he has to do most of the time is get close and purr and they’re putty in his hands. Sometimes he’ll stay further away where they have nowhere to hide and just watch them squirm. Sometimes he just has to look at them a certain way and they’re gone. He is the embodiment of using the business end of your weapon to homo-erotically tilt up your opponent’s chin. Rivals Roman for how easy it is for him to make them flustered, but unlike Roman, with him, it’s a toss-up. He knows he’s a lot, and odds are, if he’s going to flirt with them, it’s more likely to be for the catharsis reason and less because they’re fun to play with. (Even though they are.) So, if he’s not having a competition with another Side or in a playful mood, he’s much gentler about it than Roman is, he’ll stop a lot sooner or pull them into his lap for cuddles. Or, like Remus, he’ll just touch them, let them hide their face in the crook of his neck, and just run his hands over them. It’s a perfect combination of grounding and flustering. Plus, warmth is good for snakes and there’s nothing warmer than a bright, flushed, flustered face. Totally doesn’t fluster people on purpose to steal their body heat.

Remus is by far the only side where his approaches are completely different depending on who it is. Virgil is flustered very easily by his innuendos and everything, the more audacious, the better. Sometimes it resorts to the two of them having a flirt-off, the loser hiding their face while the victor cackles. Or Remus will make something that totally isn’t an innuendo into one and Virgil’s gone. For Logan, often he’ll just find him and tackle him onto the nearest surface, flopping down on top of him like a cat and listening as Patton starts verbally vomiting as he gets redder and redder. But overt sexual references make Patton and Janus really really uncomfortable, so it’s the bad kind of flustered. Instead, he’ll just find them and cuddle them and loudly explain how they are in fact the best cuddler. He finds how embarrassed they get very amusing. And if it has the side effect of summoning everyone else to a cuddle pile both because of the outrageous idea that anyone is better at cuddling than them and also free cuddles, well. Oops.

So yeah. It’s a fucking mess.

At least it’s a hot mess, right?

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#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #lamp #dlamp #dlampr

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romanceimp · 4 years ago

Text

Motivating Shikamaru

So I’m thinking these are gonna be a thing... called The Make-out Chronicles. Kinda like how I did it for my Neji Senpai fic. But I jus’ wanna climb on this man and let him do dirty things to me so... here we go!

Shikamaru was laying in his hammock out in the woods. He had his headphones in and was listening to his favorite playlist. He was drifting off to sleep when he suddenly felt like he wasn’t alone. He opened his eyes and looked around to find you standing next to where he lay. He looked up a bit surprised. How had you snuck up on him like that? “Hey, you forget?” you asked, playfully pouting. Shikamaru hadn’t exactly forgotten, but more pushed the thought from his mind. He had been requested to help you strategize for your next solo infiltration mission. Shikamaru had figured that if he didn’t show, someone else would be assigned to help you... It was such a drag. He watched the way the dappled sunlight fell against your face, illuminating your eyes. Shit. This is why he didn’t like being assigned to help you. You were too perfect and he’d never get you to look his way. He shrugged in response to your question then sat up.

“How’d you find me?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “I wouldn’t be a very good ninja if I couldn’t find your hide out, now would I?” He laughed in response... that was such a stupid question, why had he asked that? He watched your ton glide across your bottom lip and he wished for a second that it was his tongue, before he realized he had been staring at your mouth for probably too long. “Well I’m here now so are you gonna help me or just laze around?” you asked, a smirk changing your features from relaxed to devious. “Ugh this is such a drag, can’t you ask someone else?” You rolled your eyes, “no, I’m infiltrating the Hidden Lock and I’d really like your help...” You paused thoughtfully. “What if I make it worth your while, and give you something you want for helping me?” Shikamaru was intrigued, but wasn’t totally sure what you meant by that. Did you know what he wanted? Or were you going to get him something?

He helped you train and strategize until you were pouring sweat and breathing heavily, both lying on the soft pine needles of the forest floor. “Thanks for helping me,” you said, rolling over to face him. “It was a drag, but if it helps you out...” he said, “then I don’t mind.” You looked at him wide eyed, “are-are you being nice Shika?” you asked. He faced you now lying on his side, “what are you talking’ about, I’m always nice.” You laughed softly and rolled your eyes. “Yeah right, well anyways, I like you better when you’re being nice.” Were you flirting with him? He was looking at the sweat on your brow. Fuck, he was so close to you, so close to his lips touching yours. You scooted closer to him and whispered, “so you helped me after all, I guess I have to pay up huh?” He nodded, “you better,” he whispered back, is voice raspy. You blinked slowly, it was going to happen now wasn’t it. He licked his lips in anticipation. But you popped up from where you lay on the ground and said, “I’ll give you something when I get back from my mission okay?” You laughed and turned back towards the village. Shikamaru was stunned, he just got played. You were known to use your charm to get what you wanted, he guessed you didn’t like him after all. Such a fucking drag... you were the definition of a troublesome woman.

You returned from your mission early in the morning, a few days later. The mission had been successful, all thanks to the plan you made with Shikamaru. You couldn’t stop thinking about him the whole time. Part of you was worried that you had messed with him too much but you weren't all that worried. You’d make up for it. You took a shower and got dressed in your favorite outfit. You checked your hair and makeup in the mirror and then headed over to Shikamaru’s apartment.

You had to knock on the door three times before he answered. “It’s 9am,” he growled. “I know, but I wanted to see you,” you said smiling sweetly. He raised his eyebrows trying to look annoyed bu he failed to hide his smile. “Oh really?” he asked. You nodded, “thanks to you I came back in one piece, and I just wanted to show my gratitude...” He leaned against the frame of the door, waiting for you to continue. “I was gonna offer to make you breakfast, whatever you want or clean-” “that’s not necessary,” he cut in. “Well I do wanna pay you back, so what can I do for you?” You said it as innocently as you could, but feared your own desires were slipping through. He smirked, you could feel the power shift, he was far more confident than the last time you had met. “You gonna take off again?” You were embarrassed by his boldness and bit your lip in response. “I wasn’t planning on it,” you replied. “You think you’re funny? messin’ with me?” His right hand was gripped to the top of the doorframe, which lifted the bottom of his shirt, revealing the black band of his underwear just above his sweatpants. “I don’t think I’m funny, but I think it’s fun.” He laughed, but not because he was amused, it seemed he was laughing mischievously. You could see the wheels in his head turning. You hadn't thought about the fact that teasing him like that would give him plenty of time to devise a counter attack and you were now sitting in the middle of his scheme.

“Well, I’m just glad you’re back safe,” he said “you don’t have to pay me back... just maybe don’t show up at 9am next time.” He then went to close the door. You were surprised, didn’t he devise a plan for revenge? Wasn’t he going to demand something outrageous from you for payment? “Wait- I still haven’t given you anything!” you said, sounding much more needy than you meant to. “I said it’s alright, see ya around.” You were beginning to understand, he was going to make you ask, for denying him the first time. “Shika, c’mon, what do you want? I insist.” He smiled now, his plan was working and you were just feeding into his game... although you couldn’t deny that you were having fun. “You insist?” You nodded. “Alright then,” he said and then tapped his cheek.

“That’s it?” you asked. He nodded and tapped again. You leaned up to press your lips to his cheek. But at the last second he turned his head and caught your lips against his. You hummed in surprise as he began to kiss you passionately. His teeth finding their way to your bottom lip, his tongue grazing against it. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your body closer to his. You caressed your tongue against his and he pressed his knee between your legs, forcing them apart. You sighed, grinding against his thigh. Then he pulled away, “I’ll see you later gorgeous,” he said before shutting the door. You stood there stunned. What the actual fucking hell?

He opened the door again, “see, not nice being teased,” he said before pulling you back into another kiss. No it wasn’t nice, but it probably wouldn’t stop you if this is how he kissed you because of it.

#shikamaru #shikamaru nara #kissing #shikamaru x you #shikamaru x y/n #shikamaru x reader #naruto #narutoverse #anime #anime drabbles #naruto drabbles #naruto imagines #steamy #kisses #shikamaru drabbles

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years ago

Note

(star emoji) for Grifting With The Enemy :D

Pumpkin!! 🧡🧡🧡 Hello, my dear friend, thank you so much for your endless interest & support!! 😍😍 And for giving me a reason to re-read GWTE, which I haven't done for a loooong time!! 😂😬 (But, the good news is, it low-key got me inspired to hurry up & finish it!! 😏) BUT - in the meantime - here's some BTS info from my re-read under the cut, which is a lot - fair warning - since it's a 4 chapter fic & counting!! ❤️

LOL I forgot how stressful it is coming up with names for random extra people in fics, I hate doing that LOL But I did think it was important to open with Red NOT being a merciless crime lord who kills anyone who displeases him, cause - while he does have that side to him when necessary - that's not who Red is or wants to be.

I liked including that little moment with Red & Dembe about the parallel parking. I love those father/son & brotp moments for them, they're just the best. I tried to sprinkle those in wherever I could in Red's POV in this fic.

I loved the mental picture of Liz - with glasses & beanie a la The Harem - just leaning casually against a bookshelf the first time Red sees her... & he's immediately captivated, just like in canon. Especially with her eyes, I can't NOT write any version of Red that is not completely blown away by Liz's eyes, I mean, come on I also thought it was important that he thinks she's much younger than she is (intentionally part of her persona) & I'm looking forward to writing the reveal of her true age in a later chapter.

I loved writing a Liz that instantly challenges Red, already having heard about him (& more than that, as revealed in chapter 2) & point blank telling him she may refuse the job bc she has a say too. I liked keeping - & even amplifying a little - that dynamic from canon!Liz of always surprising Red & keeping him on his toes, all while he's trying so desperately to stay ahead of her & impress her.

I LOVED writing the brush pass scene - that moment where Red realizes he has officially underestimated her - & LOL I completely forgot I wrote that part about the condom LMFAO wow past!Coda, mighty daring of you 😂😂😂

Plus, I couldn't help the bonus bit about her stealing his phone & tossing it to him to end the chapter, that was just so fun to throw in there!!

I liked opening chapter 2 with Red still thinking about Liz, just to show how she captured his attention, even before he finds out she's been stealing from him. And I liked writing that revelation without any anger on his part, with him understanding it wasn't a full-scale attack on his empire, she's just a thief taking well paying jobs where she can get them, & instead it just shows him how talented she is. I thought that was an important thing to clarify before moving forward.

I LOVED writing Red & Dembe surprising Liz in her apartment, especially the part with Red's snooping & being confused & surprised by what he sees there. I loved kind of creating/designing Liz's apartment to showcase her true self, not her "young thief" persona that Red falls for at first. I wanted it to be clear that Red is fascinated by her seeming duality from the start (canon LOL) as well as just straight-up attracted to her (also canon LMAO).

Also I gave Liz a loft apartment cause I've always loved those!!

And I LOVEDDD writing Red super confident about surprising her & looking forward to taking her off guard by settling in on the couch & all that macho man stuff, only to be rendered fucking dumbstruck when she comes downstairs with no pants on lmfao & I included that little detail of her usually wearing a knife on her leg to show she's not to be underestimated 😏 & I couldn't help but throw in there Dembe kicking the back of the couch, that made me cackle lmfao

I think the truce was important to establish asap bc I didn't want any secrets or lingering animosity between them. That's for canon 😒 Only flirting & sexual tension here, thank you very much.

I had to include Red being a gentleman & asking if she wanted to get dressed, but I also couldn't resist Liz being confident & careless about it, while still hiding tactfully behind the counter. I thought that was a cute exchange.

lmfao of course, I included their coffee preferences being noticed by the other, I think that's an obligatory thing in any Lizzington fic ever, I'm so guilty of that lmfao

I loved the idea of Red being ready to start on a classic Red's Blacklister Presentation but Liz once again stops him in his tracks (while still secretly being impressed by his presence, of course, & I even accidentally switched POVs for no reason to include that?? nice Coda lmfao) as well as trading barbs & quips with him while Red feels awful & guilty at any accidental slights bc he can't bear to insult her.

AM&R vs. AR&M whoops typo lol

I liked the little snippet of dark!Red we see in their conversation of consequences for his enemies, that way Liz sees a little bit of what he's capable of & Red sees how she's not phased by it.

And that last little flirtation & wink to finish the chapter - lol can't resist

Ooooh, I loved switching to Liz's POV (fully ha) for chapter 3, I enjoyed describing how head over heels she is for Red already, that was fun. I liked writing about her lil movie day & chores she's completed, as well as fleshing out her AU past a little with Sam & her young grifting experiences. And her burning her popcorn while daydreaming about Red cause... same 😏

Ooooh, phone conversations are always so fun to write between them, I love trying to get that perfect mix of joking & sincerity & flirting & pining & pressing the phone close to their ear.

I thought it was important to keep (or rather re-invent, since TPTB seemed to drop it like a hot potato 😒😒😒) Liz's intense interest & respect for psychology, especially as a reason for being attracted to Red, since it kind of mirrors one facet of his interest in her. Not to mention Red thinks at first that it's just a useless, do nothing degree for her LOL

Ohhh, I loved establishing that mutual respect & friendliness between Liz & Dembe early on, that's such a fave of mine, I've always loved their friendship & thought it had a lot of potential. Liz loves & respects Dembe for keeping Red safe & Dembe loves & respects Liz for being so dear to Red.

Ugh, I LOVED writing Liz so completely disarmed by Red's relative state of undress at his safe house (paralleling her pants-less parade in chapter 2, of course) bc sameeeeeeee girl.

I also had fun writing Red blabbing on about some story as he often does, meanwhile Liz has already picked the lock on the safe, once again impressing & surprising him while she admires his different passport pics. That was so fun.

And I loved the quick shift to just a little animosity between them with Red insulting her lockpicks & Liz flaunting her thefts from him. I think those little spats give a little electricity & tension to the relationship, even if they blown over quickly, which they always do. And the fact that Red apologizes & they shake hands & make up is very refreshing to me (since they never fucking do it in canon lol fml) & also it's an excuse to write a little teasing physical contact & sexual tension 😁😁😁

And damn, I forgot how fun it is to throw a little teasing jab in there at the end of a chapter, just for fun - probably bc I'm allergic to multi-chapter fics & never write them lmfao wow

Ahhhhhhhh. I remember how much fun I had writing this whole restaurant scene, partly bc it was a difficult & long process (trying not to make all the flirting & physical movements repetitive while fitting in all the necessary dialogue in a semi-non-boring way lol) but also bc it was so fun writing their back-and-forth while seated at a table alone with nowhere else to go & nothing to distract them. I also wanted to take the opportunity to show Red's genuine interest in her as a person & let them spend some quality time together for the first time. I loved the idea of them losing track of time & Dembe having to come interrupt them with a knowing smirk. Also I def referred to the Olive Garden website for the food they ate cause I'm lame lmfaooo

I thought it was cute to throw in that Liz almost couldn't find Red when she arrived but for the fedora marker he placed out for her & then when she's leaving, she can feel his gaze on her the whole way out. Little parallels like that are my guilty pleasure 😁

Omggg I forgot about the end of this chapter, I remember I wanted Red to surprise Liz yet again & I thought the dessert snuck into her bag was a cute touch. Plus, tiramisu is a favorite of mine 😋 I also tried to make the vibe of this phone call a little softer & more tentative, not so much on tender hooks with lots of tension as the previous ones have been, showing how they're getting used to each other & falling in love at a break neck pace lol

Welp, that's all 4 chapters that are posted buttttttttt a sneaky look at my document that I haven't opened for an embarrassingly long timeeeeeee shows my sketch for the rest of the fic which revealssssss....... a detailed 10 chapter map with an epilogue!! Wow, I forgot I sketched everything out in such detail, this isn't too bad, maybe I should actually write this 😂😂😂 And I promise I will, hopefully sooner rather than later!! ❤️❤️❤️

Well, there you go, Pumpkin, I hope that didn't take you too long to slog through & there was something enjoyable in there for you!! 😂 Thank you so much for your interest again, my lovely friend, & getting me excited about this fic again!! 🥰 Much love to you, always, Pumpkin!! 🧡

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #fanfic #Grifting With The Enemy #ask games #fanfic writers: director's cut #mine #ask #codewordpumpkin #thank you again my friend!!#:D #i hope you enjoy this #:)#much love!!#<3

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cloud9in · 4 years ago

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A Stellar Collision (Zoey x Mc)

Summary: Zoey and Bea encounter each other one night in Paris. A stellar collision takes place.

French Zoey??? I say yes. I nerded the hell out with this fic, but I think it’s amazing and beautiful.

Word Count: 1.9k

Zoey Club: @samanthadalton @penda-bear @robintora @satrinadia @tyrils-star @brycesgirl @gay-dinosaur-banana-milk-carton

Stellar Collision; ‘A stellar collision is the coming together of two stars caused by stellar dynamics within a star cluster’

***

Paris, France. Bea never thought that she’d travel alone, but here she was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower under the moonlight. This particular night was more magical than ever, the stars covered the sky like a light show. She gazed up at the celestial bodies that casted a heavenly glow on her face and smiled. France. She was really here.

“Oh that’s perfect! Stay just like that..”

A low voice startles Bea out of her thoughts as she yelps at the intruding stranger. “Oh my god you scared me!” The woman in front of her..who is insanely good looking, (very nice observation Bea), clamps her hand over her mouth to stop a giggle. She looked absolutely divine, Bea thought. Nothing compared to the stars.

“Forgive me miss! Or...er I didn’t get your name?” Her honey-filled, thick accent reminded Bea of a harmony probably only played at the gates of heaven. It took a few minutes for her to stop staring shamelessly, eyes wandering every inch of the mystery woman until it stopped at the paintbrush in her hand. Her face felt hot as she looked up directly into the stranger’s deep brown eyes, who winked in return. “...It’s Bea...or..honey...darling maybe?” Wow so smooth.

The brunette internally cringed at her attempt to seduce the stranger, but she was caught off guard by the sweet laugh earned in response.

“Ah..well darling it is. You may have the privilege of calling me Zoey. Zoey Wade.” The darker woman grinned brightly, a pearly white smile contrasting her purple shade of lipstick. She wore a white long sleeve turtleneck which was neatly tucked into a tight, perfect fitting leather skirt. Her beret matched the color of her lips, and a nice pair of Louboutin black patent leather pumps were on her feet. Zoey was drop dead gorgeous, and she knew that. She could tell how attracted Bea was by the way her mouth hung open. Nice job Bea.

The brunette raised a single eyebrow in curiosity, “privilege huh? I’ll say…” She cleared her throat and straightened up, “well what I meant to ask was...what were you saying earlier? Before I jumped out of my boots.” Zoey peered down at her paintbrush and back to the woman in front of her amusingly. “Oh yes well, I like to take part in street art occasionally when I’m not in the studio or managing a fashion week.” Oh so she must be a fashion designer? Well of course she is Bea, look at her.

“...and the way you gaze up at the stars reminds me of a certain love and intensity, I just had to capture it on my aisle.” Zoey gestures towards her setup behind her which went unnoticed by the brunette. In fact, everything was quite a blur for Bea in the moment. Uhhh earth to Bea Hughes? The most beautiful woman in the world is talking to you, the least you could do is respond. Zoey smiles silently, patiently waiting for the flustered girl to ground herself, once more. And when she does, the only word she can muster is, “..wow.”

“Wow? But I haven’t even begun to paint you yet my darling! I think you would be quite satisfied with the results but only if you listen to my wishes.”

And so Bea did. She looked up at the sky again and relaxed her shoulders, a blissful feeling already beginning to surround her. The stars looked different now, she couldn’t focus as much, but when she did, Bea swore there was a faint outline of the darker woman’s features up in the sky. Maybe she was going crazy. Or maybe she just couldn’t get her out of her mind. The pair stood in comfortable silence as Zoey painted away, stopping occasionally to “study” Bea’s eyes, lips, and volumized curls. It’s all part of the technique. The brunette felt self conscious whenever she caught Zoey staring but it would immediately melt when their gazes connected, a feeling of warmth and affection fluttering like butterflies in her stomach.

“So... Zoey right? That doesn’t sound very French.”

The darker woman stroked her brush against the aisle skillfully, a light chuckle escaping her lips. “Indeed. My father was actually American, and well being his only child, he did the honours. My mother wanted to name me Zoé, (pronounced zaw-eh) but father already figured I’d have so much of my french roots and he wanted to contribute to at least something.” Zoey concentrates thoughtfully, her eyes softening at the mention of her parents.

Bea peels her eyes off of the sky and watches the woman with fondness. “He would be really proud of you...I know I may have just met you, but you have this gift of luring people in. Of...making them want to stay. You’re like home...I- I don’t know how to explain it...”

Zoey stops painting and observes the brunette, whose eyes only cast a shadow of love.

Bea looks away at the intensity of Zoey’s stare. Her voice breaks the silence, it sounded more soft and vulnerable, with a hint of that smoky accent. “Look at me.”

When their eyes met for the millionth time that night, it felt different. Bea felt complete. Like she was sharing her soul with the woman in front of her. She felt comfortable, with herself, and with everything around her. Zoey started to paint again as Bea watched her closely, formulating the right thoughts in her head. “Hey Zoe?” She subtlety moves her head towards Bea to hint that she’s listening, and the brunette’s eyes twinkle with delight. “Do you believe that we are all connected somehow?”

Zoey folds her arms in thought, “Yes...I do. There is...something called a human energy field. And within that field lies the magnetic pull of human hearts.” She looks tenderly at the brunette, “some may feel a strong pull in their hearts even when miles away. And when the two individuals finally meet, their energies combine like a stellar collision.” Bea stares at her with a certain passion she never felt before. Beautiful, incredibly intelligent, and a poetic flirt? Now that’s a woman.

Zoey sets her paintbrush down and rotates the aisle so it's in full view for Bea. The brunette gasps loudly, her breath catching in her throat. The painting portrayed a stunning image of Bea with the Eiffel Tower behind her, the vibrant golden lights reflecting off her curls and silhouette. In the back, a depiction of maybe a million self-luminous stars painted the sky, and if you looked closely, some were constellations. What stuck out the most was the look on Bea’s face. Her expression suggested that she was looking at something mesmerizing, her eyes sparkling with wonder. And that was true, Zoey was otherworldly. Bea admired the portrait in awe, “It’s perfect Zoey, oh my god.”

“You have a knack for stars eh? Such a nerd.”

The brunette laughs in joy as Zoey teases her. She raises a hand to her chin in thought, “You sound like a natural born American. Who are you and what have you done with my Zoey?”

“Oh your Zoey huh?” She smirks when Bea’s face turns impossibly red. Zoey detaches the portrait and struts towards the brunette, holding out the newly finished gift. “For you darling, to remember this night like no other.”

Bea hesitates to grab it, “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it? I mean what if we never see each other again? I could be the mystery person that you tell people stories about when they come to your gallery one day.” Bea wiggles her eyebrows playfully at the suggestion.

“Well first off, there’s only so much to tell about one night. And a gallery? I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”

“Oh we’re definitely not!”

Zoey laughs pleasantly at the brunette’s confidence, brushing away a few strands of curls that fell out of place. She looks carefully at Bea and then to the painting, “Darling, the memories of tonight are enough to last me quite a while. I’ll never forget it and I don’t need this to remind me. I’ll admit, if I kept this then everytime I look at it, it would only make me think of you.”

“...and that’s a bad thing..?”

“Yes.”

“Ouchhh Zoe.”

She chuckles gently at the pout on the brunette’s face. “Oh you baby I didn’t mean it like that.” Zoey as she takes a deep breath, gathering her thoughts, “It’s just that after tonight, wherever you go in the world, I hope you don’t forget me so easily. I only wish that you would be by my side just one night longer every time I stare at this painting.”

“Is that what you tell all of your clients?”

That earned Bea a nice smack to the shoulder. Good job, you deserve that.

“Whattt I meant to say is that the night doesn’t have to end! We’re just getting started Zoey. I want to have an adventurous night out in Paris with you. You can show me how the French do it. And maybe paint me like one of your French girls next.”

This time Zoey was the one blushing a deep dark red. She dipped her head away before Bea could catch a glimpse of it. Zoey clears her throat before sitting in thought, “well... I always believed that you should do what feels necessary, and what feels right. Being here with you certainly feels right.” She glances not so discreetly at Bea’s lips, and wets her own in anticipation. The brunette can feel her burning gaze and follows the darker woman’s eyes as they scan every inch of her. A jolt of energy starts forming in her lower belly, her heartbeat steadily increasing while her knees went impossibly weak. There was a literal shift in the atmosphere and Bea swore they weren’t this close before, but the feeling of Zoey’s breath on her cheek told her just how close they became. “...Can I do something that feels right?”

When Zoey nods, Bea wastes no time in pulling her against her body, one arm wrapping around Zoey’s lower waist and the other caressing her dark bronze cheeks. The kiss felt electrical, a burst of pleasure surging through their chests as they finally connected. Bea let Zoey take control immediately, her tongue pulsating in the brunette’s mouth as they french-kissed. The feeling was so overpowering as they both gasped for air after a few minutes. Zoey placed open-mouthed kisses along Bea’s jaw and neck and she moaned in pure bliss at the feeling. Don’t worry there’s probably nobody around to see them. Maybe.

When Zoey pulls back and looks at Bea, she smirks at how dilated her pupils have become. Someone’s excited. The brunette doesn’t let her tease any longer, sliding her hand gently across the french woman’s cheek, to the back of her neck, and pulling her hair until her neck is exposed. Their lips connect once more until both are too weak to stand any longer.

Through her shallows breaths, Bea smiles over at Zoey who has a dazed, yet look on her face. Yep. Nothing compared to the stars.

***

Part 2 ???

#queen b #playchoices #zoey wade #zoey x mc #mc x zoey #crying in the club at the lack of zoey fics #I also didn"t add in any French language because I'm afraid of butchering it

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years ago

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Wanna Be Bad

MASTERLIST

I’ll be honest, the idea for this fic came when I was listening to early 2000′s music from my childhood. This was inspired by the song I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford (hence why I titled it after the song). If you want to check out the song or listen to it while you read this (which I recommend) you can do so here. Gotta admit though that little 8 year old me had no idea what the ACTUAL meaning of the song was until much, much later. Anyway, this is a different format than I have written so far, cause I’ve included the lyrics in the story since different parts seem to actually describe what’s going on. The lyrics will be in italics between parts of the story. Hope you all enjoy!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: Mature (smut)

Word Count: 3,524

Do you understand

What I need, need from you?

Just let me be the girl

To show you, you

Everything that she can be

Is everything that I can be

Fucking Spencer Reid.

Spencer Reid; aka your FBI partner and the one man that you can’t get out of your mind.

He’d been your partner for over 3 years and extremely welcoming when you joined the Behavioral Analyst Unit of the FBI. At first, he wasn’t a problem and you were friendly.

Until it slowly dawned on you just how attracted you are to him. It had hit you like a bucket of ice water had been poured over your head. That shock was bad enough.

What was worse was the no fraternization between team members rule that came from the unit chief. She was friendly and a team player but it was something that she was strict about. It had never been a problem before, since the rest of the team’s significant others were not a part of the BAU, let alone worked in the FBI.

But here you were, with a growing attraction to him. It was a crappy situation knowing that your one sided sexual tension with him could never be acted upon simply because you knew Spencer was one to follow the rules.

My turn

Let me let you know that

I can’t promise that I won’t do that

So, boy say the time and place

Cause you make me want to misbehave

The things you would do the man.

The things you wish you could do to him.

Your eyes follow him, along with the other teammates. He’s currently explaining a geographical profile he’d worked on for a current case. You’re thankful that all eyes are on him because it disguises your own staring.

You can’t lie, your partner is drop dead gorgeous. Over 6 feet tall—coming in at approximately 6’1, he’s long and lean but with some definite muscle to him. He’s not scrawny like he once was, something the team likes to playfully tease him about, once showing you pictures of the decade younger Reid.

He’s also gotten even more attractive as he aged. Not that he wasn’t cute when he was younger, but he’s aging like a fine wine. At 38, he’s even better looking than you could fathom.

His brown locks that he always changes up is now on the longer side, his curls sometimes more wild, sometimes more tamed. You’ve imagined many times running your fingers through them.

His dark eyes are as much of a wild card as he is. At times appearing green, others looking like a rich brown. You’d guess they’re hazel but you’re not exactly sure. It’s not like you can bring that up into a random conversation without sounding totally crazy.

He sported more of an unshaven look these days. After many years of being clean shaven as a young FBI profiler—again, you’d seen plenty of pictures—he had quite the scruffy look going on. Needless to say, you were a big fan.

Now, his lips, something you’d fantasized about a lot. He had lips most women would envy, plump and quite the pale shade of pink. Sometimes they’d darken a shade when he bit down on them while he was thinking.

Speaking of, he had one of the best smiles you had probably ever seen on a man. One that was sure to get any woman’s lady bits roaring.

He kinda also had this habit of licking his lips. It was definitely something he wasn’t conscious of as he did it quite often. Whether it was while he was working, when he was thinking, before saying something, everytime it happened you could feel a desire form deep within you.

Oh, the things that tongue could potentially do.

But it didn’t stop with just looks with the good doctor.

His mind was probably the sexiest thing about him.

His brain was filled with an immense amount of knowledge. At first it had surprised you at just how attractive you found it, but you quickly learned that you loved to hear him share his facts and statistics. He truly was like no other.

Sometimes you purposely mixed up your facts just so he’d correct you.

And he would. Every single time.

It’s a shame he couldn’t talk smart between your legs.

Spencer Reid was definitely a wild card alright.

To be so smart, he was hard to figure out. He always seemed to be more reserved with you than the rest of the team members. You knew it could possibly be the case that he’d known them longer, but it always felt like he held himself back.

Your eyes followed his movements, his hands gesturing wildly at his display as he talked.

His hands were large, with long slender fingers, often used to mess with a pen or pencil absently, or to push his hair back out of his eyes. You didn’t have to explain the kinds of things you’d imagined regarding them.

Today, he was in a navy blue suit, a purple button down and a matching navy tie. He looked good. Not saying there wasn’t a time that he wasn’t, but there was something about today’s attire that was better than usual.

Purple really suited him, you thought.

It’s a shame (really, a damn shame) that you knew he would never break the rules because if he ever named the time and place...well let’s just say you wouldn’t turn him down in the least.

Maybe it was time to up your game a little.

I wanna be bad

You make bad look so good

I got things on my mind

I never thought I would

In any other situation you would’ve never thought about tempting fate and ignoring a rule made by your boss. You had sense enough to know it was a bad idea, but something about Spencer was so intoxicating, it was like you could never get enough. The desire burned through you constantly like a paper set aflame.

You told yourself it wasn’t a crime to look nice for work. You had a job where it was reasonable to be a bit more dressy and make yourself look nice. But deep down, you knew you wanted to test the limits.

You went to work one day dressed in a tight black fitting skirt, one that hugged your ass perfectly along with a turquoise button down, some cleavage purposely on show. Paired with a pair of your strappy black work heels, you were prepared to face the day.

Never in a million years did you imagine doing something like this, but here you were. Wild thoughts of Spencer ran rampant in your mind, even in the middle of cases to the point you had to try twice as hard to focus. Maybe it was time for him to have a taste of his own medicine.

It puzzled you for most of the day when he seemed to ignore you more than usual. You’d figured your attraction to him was one sided, but the change in his behavior hurt a bit, knowing he was only interacting with you when he absolutely had to. At the end of the day, he was still your partner.

It was only during a briefing later on, when you were actually entirely focused on work that you felt eyes on you. Your gaze cut across the table just in time to see Spencer’s eyes rake across you, licking his lips in the process. His eyes cut away quickly when his met yours and he grabbed for his cup of coffee taking a drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

He was definitely trying to appear as if he wasn’t just staring at you moments before.

A heat stirred within you as you’d realized what had just happened.

Something was brewing.

I, I wanna be bad

You make bad feel so good

I’m losing all my cool

I’m about to break the rules

I, I wanna be bad

The tension had begun, ironically, during a raid on a case you were working on.

After working surveillance with Spencer alone, you’d caught the perp in the act and called for backup immediately. SWAT was already ahead of you, waiting for instructions.

In efforts of a surprise takeover, you both were hidden in a cramped space to try and locate his current location before you sent SWAT inside.

His breath was hot on your neck and you were pressed against him, his chest flesh with your back, all while your ass was pressed against his crotch.

You didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath even though you pretended not to hear it.

Attempting to free yourself of the small space, you happened to brush across him, more specifically his crotch. His hand immediately flew to your hip, grabbing you a little harder than necessary. Your mind was whirling enough as it was at the close proximity.

“Not yet,” he whispered, low enough for you to hear, “SWAT’s about to go in.”

A moment later you both were on the move behind them, announcing that you were FBI. But you didn’t forget the moment that was now seared into your mind.

Spencer was definitely the only one you’d break the rules for.

I want to be bad with you, baby

•

What’s up?

Tell me what to do, how to be

Teach me

All your rules from A to Z

But I don’t want your other girl to see

That you’re messing ‘round with me

You and Spencer didn’t speak about the incident.

But suddenly, his rules had seemed to change.

When it was just the two of you, he actually seemed to flirt with you.

“You not tired yet?” he’d grinned, seeing you pick up more paperwork you’d need to complete before next week.

“Oh, but what if I said that this stack was all yours Spence?”

“Oof,” he mock grimaced, putting a hand dramatically over his heart, “Why do you wound me so?”

You chuckled, plopping it down on your desk, before sitting in your chair.

“Unfortunately, that pile is all mine.”

“Well maybe I can stay late to keep you company and watch you in your misery.” A smirk ghosted over his lips.

You bit your lip, watching him.

He was definitely flirting. Wasn’t he? But you could admit you were bantering more with him, returning his own flirty comments.

Only, that is, when no one else was around.

It wasn’t a secret that things like this had to be hidden from your unit chief. If she had caught wind or even a tiny bit of suspicion what was simmering between you both, you could possibly be in trouble.

“Oh please, don’t go out of your way to ruin your evening plans with my misery,” you deadpanned, even though he knew you were kidding.

“Let me know if you need anything. A pen, food, a shoulder to cry on.”

You peer sideways at him, half grinning.

“What was that last one?”

He points to his shoulder, a faux frown on his face before chuckling.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Should I boy?

Tell me what I got is what you want

Tell, tell me do I, I turn you on?

I don’t want no one judging me

You cannot believe that the team suggested you and Spencer being the ones to go undercover to catch your current unsub. Of all the places.

You were tracking an unsub that was currently killing exotic dancers; his hunting ground being a certain strip club which is where you were currently undercover as, you guessed it, one of the dancers.

Spencer, on the other hand, was dressed as one of the many rich gentleman in the audience, playing the part of another regular man come to see the show. You both had your eyes out on the floor in search of our current unsub.

“Y/N,” came from the hidden earpiece was your boss.

“Be as coy as possible, but refuse any activities with any of the other men. We want to see if that brings our unsub out. You tell them your client is Reid, got it?”

You groan inwardly. This was your worst nightmare due to the fact that your sexual tension was at an all time high with him. You’d rather not jump him with the whole team just outside.

As part of your undercover identity, Candi, you were dressed in a tasseled, silver one piece, cut all the way down your torso to show off your stomach, your boobs practically spilling out of the small swath of fabric covering them. There was just enough fabric to cover your nether regions and it all tied in the back with two thin strings. Basically, it left little to the imagination.

“Sweetheart, how about a little dance?” came from your left.

A distinguished looking gentleman, with white hair held out a twenty in your direction, a grin on his face.

“Sorry, already promised one to that gentleman,” you motioned to Spencer, who was in character, watching some of the other dancers, his eyes roaming the room before they landed on you.

“Gotta go,” you said, with a flirtatious smile.

The man shrugged and turned his attention to another girl.

You approached Spencer, trying to calm your nerves and keep in character. You put a hand on his shoulder flirtatiously and greet him.

“Hi there, big boy.”

You walk around to face him, hands resting on the back of his chair as you lean into him, pushing your ass outwards while pressing your breasts against his chest.

“How’s it going?” you mumble lowly in his ear.

Your hands trail over his shoulders as your hips sway back and forth in front of him.

“Nothing yet. I, um, I’ve been keeping an eye out.”

You nod, continuing on. You flip your hair as you turn, your ass grazing his crotch. Your hands glide up your legs as you turn to face him again, your touch moving up your stomach reaching your boobs, beginning to rub them sensually as you bite your lip. Your eyes lock on his as your hands slide up his thighs before you settle in his lap, his hands resting on your bare sides.

His eyes haven’t left you since you began and you see his teeth scrape his bottom lip momentarily.

“Anyone look suspicious?” you whisper, leaning forward as your hips grind slowly.

His breathing sounds heavier than before and he struggles to answer your question.

“One guy in the corner hasn’t taken his eyes off you.”

Your fingertips trail down his chest. Holding on to the edge of the chair, you lean backwards slowly, in an attempt to be tantalizing and sexy like you’ve seen the other girls do, but also to see the guy Spencer was referring to. You peer to the corner towards your left quickly and see what he’s talking about.

You hum your agreement and move upright, one arm raised above your head, your fingertips trailing down the opposite arm. His fingers dig into your hips as your hips circle above his crotch.

“Y/N,” he rasped.

It’s then that your thigh brushes his crotch that you can feel he’s hard. You inhale, your eyes widening the slightest as you look at him; his eyes haven’t left you.

Suddenly a voice fills your ear and you know Spencer heard it too.

“We got him!”

I wanna be bad

You make bad look so good

I got things on my mind

I never thought I would

After a clothes change, you were back in your normal clothes post undercover job. The heat still burned inside of you hours after what happened at the club.

You all, indeed, captured the right unsub. Apparently you had caught his eye since you were “new”. Looked like Spencer had been right.

Speaking of, he had practically disappeared after the team bust in to arrest him. You hadn’t seen him until you had gotten back to the BAU and even then he was across the room discussing a closing report with one of the other agents.

You bit your thumbnail as you paced the room. You couldn’t hold out any longer and you knew you had to do something. You were in an empty office down the hall from the BAU unit, knowing he’d be down the hall at any moment.

Mere minutes later you heard footsteps and you opened the door just enough to see him coming down the hall, looking at a file as he walked. You grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door behind him.

His back was against the door and he looked down at you, a slight squint to his eyes, his tongue moving over his lips as he—as usual—licked his lips.

“I had to do something,” you said by way of explanation before grabbing him by his tie and pulling him down towards you.

I, I wanna be bad

You make bad feel so good

I’m losing all my cool

I’m about to break the rules

I, I wanna be bad

Your lips met his in a burning kiss. You heard a plop of the file as he tosses it carelessly on the floor before pulling you closer, his lips moving quickly with yours. His hands hooked behind your thighs and he hoisted you up, carrying you towards the empty desk in the room.

“Fuck, earlier,” he breathed, kissing down your jaw, “You drove me crazy.”

“I kinda sensed that,” you chuckled, “Sorry about that.”

He nips your jaw, bending lower to kiss your neck as he sets you on the desk.

“All it took was one look at you in that outfit and I was already hard,” he groaned into your neck, sucking on a spot before flicking his tongue over the bruised skin.

“Why Spencer Reid, do I turn you on?” you smirked, pulling at his tie to undo it.

“Fuck yes. Probably as much as I turn you on, sweetheart.”

Your teeth raked over your bottom lip as the heat roils inside of you. You’re throbbing with want and need; you have an itch only he can possibly scratch.

He has your shirt over your head before you can even get his tie off. He lowers you back against the top of the desk, kissing down your torso, his hands working to remove.

“This is an unfair advantage here,” you moaned, “You’re way overdressed.”

He tosses his tie before pulling off your pants and underwear and you sit up on your elbows, watching him.

With one lick up your slit, you’re a moaning mess.

“I always imagined you talking smart between my legs,” you mumbled, anticipating his next move.

“Mm, that’s something to try another day,” Spencer smirks, unfastening his pants.

He leans over you, kissing you roughly as he slides inside you. He moans against your mouth, his teeth gently tugging your bottom lip as he pulls away and thrusts slow and deep within you.

“Damnit, Spencer you are not going to tease me now like you have for the last 3 years.”

He chuckles, standing upright again, pulling you to the edge and as closely as possible to him as his hips move faster and harder.

It’s rough and fast as if you can’t get enough of each other and he’s quickly got you writhing on the desktop.

“Fucking shit, Y/N,” your name drags from his lips in a low grown.

This was so much better than you’d even imagined, the lighting fire of ecstasy in your veins being caused by no one but him. Your hands grip the edge of the desk so hard your knuckles turn white.

“Spence!” you shrieked loudly as he hits a particular sensitive spot.

You’re so glad there’s no one else around down the hall.

“Oh my god,” he moans, his own release falling over him.

Your gaze takes in his slackened jaw and thrown back head, his throat vibrating with his groans. It’s so incredibly sexy, you almost go over the edge yourself at the sight.

His thumb circles your clit, insistent on getting you off as well. The pressure builds inside you until you can’t contain it anymore and you let go, ecstasy flowing through your veins, his name falling from your lips repeatedly.

When you finally feel like you can breathe again, you struggle to sit up, already missing the feeling of him inside of you.

“Good God, if only I knew you were as good at that as you are at profiling,” you said, half dazed, reaching for your clothes as he hands them to you.

He snickered as he pulls himself together, bending down to pick up the file on the floor and heads to the door. He stops with one hand on the doorknob and looks at you.

“You know, I kinda hope this isn’t a one time thing,” he said, almost meekly.

Your answer puts a smile on his face.

“Believe me. Next time, I’m having my way with you.”

I, I wanna be bad.

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid gifs #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid gifs #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds #criminal minds gifs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut

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13iamlucky13 · 4 years ago

Text

Rating Bandori Ships - Moca Edition:

Alright so as is probably obvious for anyone whose talked to me, I have a lot of opinions and I like to talk about my opinions. And one thing my poor multishipper heart has a lot of opinions on is Bandori ships because this fandom is either multiship heaven or hell depending on how you look at it.

So I decided 'hey why not pop off about them' so that's what I'm going to do startig with a certain Moca Aoba who I am totally not at all biased towards.

Obligatory reminder that these are just my opinions and this isn't meant as an attack on any ship. Not that I feel particularly negative towards any Moca ship I've seen yet but still.

Ratings:

MocaRan- 10/10

Yes I like the main arguably somewhat overrated Moca ship. What can I say? They have so much canon interaction between the two of them and their dynamic is really what got me started towards getting severely hooked on Bandori as I am now. They both are shown to care deeply for each other and seem to get the other on a really deep level. For Moca, Ran seems to bring out the most genuine shows of emotion out of her while also being a good support for her, if in a very Ran way. For Ran, Moca seems to help her take things a little less seriously, and when necessary acts as a shoulder to cry on. Sasquana broke me.

LisaMoca- 7/10

I enjoy this ship. As much as it seems to be just kind of a toss on to the people who ship YukiRan (which don't get me wrong is also a very great ship I have a thing for rivalries with tension) Lisa and Moca have a great dynamic. I tend to see it as a brOTP more often which is why I didn't give it a 9 or 10 but they definitely have potential and them kissing on company time would definitely catch my interest. They also seem like they'd be a really supportive relationship. Moca can help Lisa chill out and not be so hard on herself and Lisa can motivate Moca to do things.

MocaHima- 6/10

This is another situation where I have a harder time seeing it as anything but some very good platonic love. They have a dynamic together that is extremely fun don't get me wrong, but by that token I don't feel the same tension between them. Moca's teasing of Himari tends to feel like less flirting in disguise and more like the way she'd tease a sibling. Besides Himari clearly has a type and Idk how much Moca fits that. They are shown to care for each other quite a lot though and in a situation where they are plopped together romantically I can see them having a wholesome dynamic since they have such a good platonic base

SayoMoca- 9/10

I've seen this all of once that didn't involve the two of them in an OT3 with Tsugu, and honestly? I'm kinda there for both, but this is just about Sayo and Moca. Now this is mainly because grumpy x clown is my jam, I really don't know how much canon there actually is to go on here. I really like the idea of them both bonding over how ridiculous Yukina and Ran's posturing can be, Moca narrating every encounter like a sports commentator for fun with Sayo acting like she's ignoring it but quietly adding in her own remarks and Moca catching them. There's also potential in Lisa sorta shoving them together either to try to help motivate Moca or maybe to help Sayo with Hina in a way by giving her 'practice' with the other eccentric genius of Bandori. Either way there's a lot of ways to kickstart it but once it gets going I also think they would have a really good dynamic for somewhat similar reasons to LisaMoca with a side of it seeming similarly balanced to MocaRan.

HinaMoca- 8/10

I'm honestly not too sure why I jam with these guys together as much as I do but that doesn't stop me. One of them is enough to cause chaos so what happens when you put the both of them together? Also they would be the types to blast an extra bassboosted version of Megalovina or even just play it on guitar at their wedding if they even bothered to do something as traditional as that and I'd be there for it

ChisaMoca- 7/10

This is a ship I've been slowly warming up to so this rating is kinda subject to change. Initially I didn't understand it as they barely interact in canon and I didn't see much potential in their dynamic but the more I think on it the more there seems to be. This is mainly because, in one case a literal sense, both are actresses. Chisato literally but Moca definitely puts on her own acts and clown show. So the idea of the two being able to peek under the other's mask is kind of interesting to me. Also serious x clown will never not vibe

MisaMoca- 8/10

I don't ship this in a serious sense so I can't give it full marks but in comedy or crack, even crack taken seriously they are god tier. They're the types who would behave like an old married couple but somehow in a really chill low-energy way. There's a great fic that has them having an ironic candle-lit dinner date that sums up why pretty well I can link it if anyone sees this and wants it

TomoMoca- 6/10

Pretty much the same as HimaMoca except instead of Moca not being Tomoe's type it's more about how even if they did both have mutual feelings I have a hard time figuring out how they'd get together in the first place. Tomoe probably wouldn't realize her feelings even if she had them and Moca would do her best to bury them under humor and good ol emotional suppression. If they did manage to get together though I can see them being cute.

SaayaMoca- 5/10

I don't really feel much when it comes to this as a romantic ship. It's there I guess? I like these guys a lot platonically and don't have a reason to dislike it romantically but it doesn't really make me feel anything. There's potential but I just feel like on most fronts LisaMoca is superior.

MocaTsugu- 11/10

Probably my OTP for the fandom if I'm being honest and the fact that it's chronically underrated hurts. Don't get me wrong I adore MocaRan and SayoTsugu is also very good I've got nothing against the chocomints, but come on. The obvious name play is right there! In all seriousness though I love these guys both as a platonic and romantic pairing so much. It might just be me, but I swear it feels like every time Moca's ever actively suggested something Tsugu was the first to jump on the support train. Moca doesn't seem to really punch down with her teasing of Tsugu the same way she does with Himari and Ran either, and if I remember right there's been at least a few times it's seemed to border on flirting territory even when considering it's Moca. The two also have several of the things the other Moca ships have going for them but I think these two do it better. Tsugu being a gentle but consistent motivator who deeply cares for Moca gives me life. And Moca herself has potential to be a calming presence with her chill demeanor who could get Tsugu to take a break for once in her life like she deserves. I'm also absolute trash for the headcanon that Afterglow all took turns having crushes on Tsugu in middle school. I just like the idea that Moca never really got over that crush and it comes back in full force once they're in highschool. Pair that with some good Tsugu lacking self-worth angst and believing her feelings towards Moca aren't reciprocated because Moca clearly has a thing for Ran and even if she doesn't there's still no way she has feelings for her no matter how many times she calls her 'Tsugurific'.

And there ya go. This ended up way longer than I expected it to and tbh for most of them I have a lot more thoughts but I didn't want to turn this into a novel. Tldr MocaTsugu underrated and I have no life :')

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fics-of-culture · 4 years ago

Text

Kiss Kiss

Summary: Your favorite Wells invites you to a gala

Ship: Harry Wells x Reader

Words: 2,247

A/N: I am reposting all of my old fics because my old account accidentally got deleted.

You’re not quite sure how you ended up in this situation. You’re dressed up to the nines hanging off the arm of the Harrison Wells as you step into a beautiful ballroom that’s been decorated for tonight’s gala. You should probably back up a bit. First off, the Harrison Wells who’s arm is currently interlocked with yours is actually Earth 2 Harrison wells. Or Harry for short. In fact, you’re not even on your Earth at the moment. After working with Team flash to put a stop to zoom, Harry invited you to come back to Earth 2 with him and Jesse as a vacation of sorts. After seeing how fascinated you were with earth 2 on your first little visit, he knew you’d be unable to refuse.

You were sitting in his office in Star Labs a few days ago, waiting for him to finish up his work as you look through the photos you’d taken around the town. It was really amazing how similar and yet completely different this Earth was. You swiped to a photo of a frowning Harry. He had been acting as your unofficial tour guide while you visited Earth 2. He gave you his famous Harry scowl when he saw you point your camera at him. You were happy to be spending so much time with the man without having to worry about your lives being in danger. You had developed a crush on him when you first met on Earth 1. Despite the physical appearance, Harry was nothing like Eobard Thawne and you were glad for it. Despite his rough exterior, you two had warmed up to each other rather quickly and you were hoping this trip would be the perfect opportunity to get to know him more.

Your musings were interrupted by the object of your thoughts and affections. He stormed into his office, letting out a harsh sigh. He walked straight past you as though he hadn’t noticed your presence. He fell into his desk chair and started running his hands in his hair as he muttered to himself.

“Hey Harry, you doing okay?” You ask him gently. He looks up at you sharply, having just realized he was not alone and let out another harsh sigh as he realizes it’s just you.

“I’m fine.” He says simply, dropping his hands into his lap and avoiding your gaze.

“Yeah, you really look fine.” You respond, giving him a skeptical look. He quirks up an eyebrow at you. You’ve known him well enough at this point to know that he’s challenging you. Silently daring you to question him further. You stand and walk over to his desk, waiting for a response. Harry huffs as he realizes that you don’t intend to back down.

“It’s nothing really, I was just reminded by my secretary that there’s an important gala coming up. My presence is required and I don’t...” You hear him mutter something else but you can’t hear what he’s saying.

“What?” You ask. Leaning against his desk as you try to hear him better.

“I don’t have a date! Okay? It’s usually expected for people like me to not show up to these things alone.” He sighs a third time and runs his hands over his face. He’s obviously uncomfortable with confessing this to you. You can see him trying to cover up a slight blush with his hands.

“I figured there would be people lining up to go out with the famous Harrison Wells.” You tease. He looks horrified at you from behind his fingers.

“I’m not going to just take some random stranger to this thing. This is an important event with-“

“Harry! I’m just teasing!” You cut him off, not really wanting to let him go into a rant about how important this event is. You lean towards him and gently pry his hands off his face. “Look, if it’s so important, I can go with you. You know me well enough to know I’m not going to embarrass you in front of all your big, important friends.” You give him a cheeky look, waiting for him to retaliate at your little jab. Instead when you look at him all you see is his slightly dumbfounded expression. His cheeks are flushed and you realize that you’ve been holding his hands this entire time. You let them go and mutter a small apology, assuming that you’ve made him uncomfortable. He seemingly snaps out of his little trance and clears his throat awkwardly.

“I wouldn’t want to ask you to do something that would make you uncomfortable...” He trails off, looking at you warily. You smile at him in a soothing manner and he seems to relax a bit.

“You wouldn’t be making me uncomfortable. I just want to help. Besides, I’ve never been to a gala before. It’ll probably be fun!” He gives you a dry chuckle.

“You’d be surprised how boring these things can be. But if you’d really like to go, who am I to oppose you.” You spend the rest of the day with Harry in his office until he finishes his work and the two of you head back to his house where you’re staying for the duration of the trip. You find yourself slowly getting more and more excited for the upcoming gala.

~~~

You snap back to reality as Harry leans down to whisper in your ear.

“You look gorgeous tonight.” A blush spreads up your neck as you feel Harry’s breath dance across your skin. You do your best to suppress a shiver. Harry had given you his credit card earlier that day to buy something to wear to the gala. It was clear that your efforts had paid off. Harry hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you’d met up outside. He insisted that he escort you into the building ‘properly’. Know you’re just wondering if that’s just an excuse to have his hands on you.

“I’m going to get us some drinks. You stay here.” You could still feel Harry’s breath on your neck as he spoke. You only vaguely noticed that he was much closer to you than necessary. You breathlessly nodded your approval to him and he went off in search of champagne. You took that moment to catch your breath and look around at the other couples in the ballroom. It was clear to you that these people make more in a year than you probably would in your entire lifetime. People in beautiful suits and gowns drinking, laughing, and dancing the night away.

Your line of sight is cut off as a man steps in-front of you. You hold back a shocked gasp as you look up at Leonard Snart. You’re about to ask him what he’s doing here when you remember that you’re not on your Earth. You’re on Earth 2. And on Earth 2, Leonard Snart somehow becomes mayor. You’re still not sure you trust him, but you remain silent as he introduces himself.

“Well, hello there. It’s not often you see new faces at functions like these. I’m Leonard Snart, Central City’s mayor. It’s nice to meet you.” You shake the hand that he offers. Still not quite sure what to say.

“Name’s Y/n it’s nice to meet you as well. I’m sort of new in town which is probably why we’ve never met.” You force yourself to play nice with the Snart doppelgänger, reminding yourself that you promised Harry you’d be good.

“Well, allow me to be the first to welcome you to this fair city.” He smiles at you and you know he’s trying to be charming. You’d spent enough time with Snart prime to know his mannerisms.

“Thank you so much, Mayor Snart. I haven’t been here very long but the city is beautiful!” He smiles at you. And for a moment you think that if your Snart after more like this one, you could easily fall for him. That is, of course, if you’d never met Harry.

“Please, call me Leonard. I try to avoid professionalism if I can.” He winks at you and you find yourself giggling at his flirty nature. “I must say,” he continues, “I’m surprised to find someone so beautiful all by themselves. You’re not with anyone tonight by any chance?” Just as you’re about to respond you hear an intimidating voice sound off behind you.

“She’s with me, Snart.” You feel Harry behind you as he hands you your drink. Snart’s preciously flirtatious expression slides into a cool smile as he regards your date. Harry places his hand possessively on the small of your back. He takes a slow sip of his drink, his eyes never breaking contact from Snart. You suddenly feel very awkward.

“It’s good to see you again Harrison. Everyone was concerned with your sudden disappearance a few months ago.” Leonard suddenly seems a lot less friendly and you get the feeling that these two do not like each other.

“Yeah, well, I’m back now.” Harry speaks sharply. He pulls you closer to his side, conveying to everyone in the room that you are off limits. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to spend some more time with my date.” He practically spits those last two words at Snart, who seems disappointed at the revelation that you are, in fact, taken. Before anyone can say another word, Harry all but drags you to the dance floor. Forcing you to put down your glass on a nearby table as he pulls you into his embrace. You start to sway back and forth and you feel as though you can barely focus due to the close proximity. You desperately think of something to say in order to dispel the nervous feeling bubbling up.

“What was that about?” You ask, looking up at Harry. He groans a little at the question.

“That guy’s a jerk no matter what Earth he’s on.” You laugh a bit at his petulant expression. He reminds you of a child who refuses to play nice with the other kids on the playground. You decide to tease him a bit for it.

“He seemed very friendly to me.” Harry foxes you with an icy stare while you smile back at him. His lips slide into a smirk when he notices you’re playing with him. He leans in slowly to whisper into your ear again.

“I’m sure you’d rather be dancing with him right now.” You feel breathless. From the dancing or from the way Harry looks at you you can’t say for sure. You’re shocked at the way he’s acting. The two of you have flirted a bit before but he’s never been this forward with you. You can do nothing but stare up at him in silent awe. Harry seems to take this as a sign to keep going. “You feeling alright? You seem to be out of breath. Perhaps you’d like to find someplace more private.” You’re not quite sure where this is going, but you eagerly want to find out. You nod silently at him. You’re not sure you can manage words right now. He smiles at you and takes your hand in his as he leads you onto the balcony.

It’s quieter outside, there are no other couples out here and you take a few deep breaths of fresh air to calm your racing heart. Harry watch’s you intently as he leans on the railing of the balcony.

“You’re gorgeous when you’re flustered like that.” You huff out a small laugh as you look at him.

“I sincerely hope that you aren’t mocking me right now.” You step closer to him as he turns to fully face you. He seems to be considering something before he relaxes.

“I’m not teasing you. I always think you look astounding.” He responds absentmindedly. His hand reaches out to run through your hair. He tugs at the ends of a strand he has pinched between his fingers. You laugh as he plays with your hair.

“Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on me?” You ask quietly. You try to make it seem like a joke, but you’re secretly holding your breath. Waiting to see what he says. He straightens up a bit. Suddenly looking very seriously at you. You notice how close your bodies are. An inch closer and your lips would be on his.

“Yes.” He says quietly. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” He looks from your eyes to your lips. Desperately wanting to close the space between you but too afraid to do so.

“Well good.” You say quietly. “I have a crush on you too.” His lips quirk up into an unbelieving smile before he surges forward and kisses you. His hand raises to cup your cheek while the other holds your back, holding you against him. Your palms are pressed against his chest, enjoying the feeling of his muscles flexing under your fingers. One of your hands raises to thread your fingers through his short, black hair. You tug a bit and he groans into your mouth. Before you can go any further, a voice cuts through the air.

“My goodness, get a room you two!” You turn to Snart. Standing there with a smirk. You shouldn’t be too surprised that this Snart is just as sassy as the original. Harry just rolls his eyes before taking your hand. Fully intending to take Snart up on his advice.

#the flash #reader insert #harry wells #harrison wells #harry wells x reader #harry wells imagine

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hysteriium · 5 years ago

Note

Ledger!Joker x JP!Joker headcanons 👀 ??

(Edit isn’t mine, made by Anarchy Graphics! They have really cool edits you should check them out!)

(A/n): 👀 HEY THERE DEAR ANON! Your wish is my command ;)) sorry I kinda added some smut hope that’s okie! HEHEH also @pennyship and I are writing a massive fucking one-shot about the duo! We’re thinking of turning this into a series if anyone’s interested?

Pairing: JP! Joker x reader x Heath!Joker

Warnings: NSFW, BDSM themes, swearing.

////

Together

Okay first things first, they will have a hard time ‘sharing’ you. They’re both really assertive characters and their personalities would for sure clash.

They’re very competitive.

What’s probably even weirder is how they resolve their arguments. If you expect them to sit down and shake it out b o i you’re dead wrong.

Honestly, if you catch them in the middle of doing some stupid shit, don’t be surprised.

More often than not, you feel like the mediator between them. You kind of keep them balanced – stop them from going overboard, though admittedly, it’s rare when they reach such a point.

Their unspoken contest keeps them on their toes and that’s just how they like it.

They also really appreciate how you spare them the psychoanalysis – they get enough of it when they’re thrown into Arkham and treated like odd spectacles.

They’re really possessive/protective. If someone even so much as thinks of threatening you, or, even more idiotic, makes it known they ARE, best believe they’re bringing out the big guns. They’ll rain hellfire upon them. This is perhaps the only time where the dynamic duo can work together.

NSFW

A lot of the times they take their frustration out in other activities. If something doesn’t go as ‘planned,’ you’re gonna have a hard time walking tomorrow.

(Coming back to their ‘rivalry’), they’ll leave hickeys on your neck – VISIBLE ONES MIGHT I ADD – just so the other can see. This often leads to more hickeys from the other.

Threesomes. Sorry, not sorry. (Will go into detail in an upcoming fic hehe).

Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker

This. Man. Is. Touch-starved.

You heard me, folks. He loves touching you. This isn’t exclusive to sex either, honestly, he’s happy with even the smallest displays of affection.

He’s also much kinder than Heath’s Joker AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT is that he’s more open with his affections (see Heath’s section for deetz).

Loves loves loves your smile and your laugh! Every time he snatches a laugh roused by one of his puns or jokes, he’s ecstatic! “You should laugh more,” “you have a pretty smile.” His compliments aren’t always worded the greatest, but you know he means well, his sincerity shining through.

Coupled with the soft smile which almost always follows your joy, it’s enough on its own to convey his thoughts.

The man is incredibly playful and is a relentless flirt. He doesn’t CARE who’s around, he will make it known what nasty things he’s thinking about AND what nasty things he wants to do to you. If it wasn’t for your own protests which are occasionally worn down, he’d take you in front of others. He literally does not care.

Example: when you least expect it, you’ll feel a firm slap against your ass, or sometimes less overt, a grab. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who it is.

To reiterate, he absolutely has no shame.

Arthur is big on aftercare. He’ll make sure you know how much he loves you. He gets really attached, and his actions communicate this more than his words. Aftercare manifests itself in many forms: cuddling, bubble baths, making sure he hasn’t harmed you in any way, offering sweets.

Nicknames

“Angel.”

“Darling.”

“Doll.” (Heath’s Joker also uses this).

“Sugar.” He often uses this when he’s mad, for example, “okay, listen, sugar.”

“Sweetheart.”

NSFW

Depending on how Arthur’s feeling, funky time can either be really rough or, if he’s feeling a lil extra sentimental, very you-oriented.

He’s a passionate man and seeing how his touch leads to your unravelling is truly one of the highlights for him.

Above all, Arthur’s favourite thing is hearing the way his name spills from your lips – feeling the way you cling onto him as he plunges into you. Your expression of euphoria’s something that’s etched into his brain, like fine glass.

An added bonus for him is thinking about how antsy your loud moans make Heath’s Joker.

Gunplay → Arthur’s slender fingers indent your thighs as he spreads them apart, a sudden metallic chill brushing up against the flesh. Prodding at your entrance with the barrel and slowly pushing in, his slow teasing thrusts morph into a steady pace when you’re practically pleading him to let you cum.

Orgasm Denial → Arthur, being the mischievous boi he is, will damn well make sure he drags everything out. He loves to hear you beg, every time you do it fills him with swirling bursts of pride.

Body worship → sort of ties in with orgasm denial. Arthur will take his sweet ass time caressing your skin, planting kisses against your stomach – against your hips. Honestly anywhere he has access to he will make it known how much he appreciates your body. This can sometimes appear during sex – he’ll slow his pace and utter sweet whispers of praise against you, rendering you even more of a flustered mess.

Hair pulling → works both ways. This would mainly be exhibited during oral than anything else. If he’s going down on you and your trembling fingers jerk his green curls, the vibrations of his moans would tip you over the edge.

He’s more flexible than Heath’s Joker, meaning if you want to top, he’ll let you do so, though he still maintains a cocky air. Giving you one of his killer smirks, his eyebrows flicking in amusement, he’ll relinquish his hold on your hips and recline back into the couch. The way he leans back and places his hands behind his head screams ‘go ahead,’ ‘impress me.’ You always do.

Heath Ledger’s Joker

Will do shit just to spite Arthur; this isn’t because he has a personal vendetta against him, it’s just because of the person he is (a little shit).

Takes a bit longer to open up than Arthur, emotionally. He’s very closed off and is used to his little bubble. It takes patience but eventually you’ll get there.

Acts like the biggest hardass → he likes to portray there’s nothing more to his image other than the ‘agent of chaos,’ but you come to realise this is definitely not the case.

In the dead of night, when he returns from whatever havoc he’s stirred, he crawls into your bed and pulls you against him, arms embracing you loosely.

This is when he’s at his most affectionate. His exhaustion most likely adds to those falling walls.

Most of the time he thinks you’re asleep when this occurs but, spoiler, you’re not; the gentle upturn of your lips the only indication of such. You don’t think you’d ever give the fact away either, fearful of him receding back into his shell to the point where affection is null. Either way, you’re happy with him.

By the morning, he’s gone, already making plans (or executing them).

He seldom shows you his actual face, behind all the makeup. In all honesty, you don’t know the reasoning behind this, and you don’t think you ever will. While he’s blunt, he’s just as secretive; there’s always something going on in the back of his mind.

Perhaps it’s insecurity, discomfort, or, more simply, the ‘persona’ of ‘Joker’ is just what resonates with him. The man underneath is someone he no longer identifies with. The man he’s become – who he’s worked so hard to manifest – is his true self.

NSFW

Okay but he’s a very sexual guy, not even gonna lie.

ALSO HAS NO EMBARRASSMENT. When it comes to sex, this man’s just as open about it as Arthur.

Hair pulling kink → this goes without saying. Unlike Arthur, this kink is one-sided, and he most definitely is the one doing the pulling. Those large hands will lose themselves within your strands and if you’re giving him head, he’s most likely going to guide you by said strands.

Glove kink → he’ll set you on his lap, your back against his chest as his hands hold your wriggling thighs. With your breath hitching in anticipation, one of his gloved hands will slip down your inner thigh, rubbing slow circles against your clit. He tries his best to be patient but lets be honest, he has a really short fuse when it comes to sex; he’ll be dipping one – two – and if he’s feeling particularly torturous – three fingers inside of you before you know it, curling his fingers.

Praise kink → not particularly what you’d expect. He’s also very big into humiliation and mockery, so this kind of ties in with the two. For example, if you do something he’s pleased with, he’ll throw around teasing/sarcastic nicknames like there’s no tomorrow:

“Bunny.”

“Buttercup.”

“Button.”

“Doll.”

“Good girl.”

“Princess.”

“Pumpkin.”

“Sweetheart.”

Loves your brattiness, literally lives for it. He’s always been drawn to a bit of fire – it keeps things interesting.

Has a thing for emotions – for your expressions, both micro and macro. The main three: fear, pain, pleasure.

He’s very erratic. So, when he is praising you, he may tug at your hair the next, choke you or, if he deems necessary, spank you.

Your squeaks of pain get him off – the motherfucker’s sadistic.

Goes through topdrop, and you’d most certain go through subdrop. He’s so used to control and regaining it when lost, in both an everyday context and a sexual one. So, once those feelings develop into something more (which you’ll have trouble differentiating, or sometimes picking up on at all), he’ll become more reserved, no longer displaying his usual vigour until this issue is sorted. (More details in a future drabble/fic).

#joaquin phoenix joker #joaquin phoenix #joker x reader #joker imagine #joker 2019 #the dark knight #both jokers #jp joker #heath joker #heath ledger #heath ledger joker #heath ledger joker x reader #dc x reader #dc headcanon #Joker headcanons #joker headcannons #arthur fleck #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x reader

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

Karma is a bitch, Chapter 1 (Multi ship) - Flor

A/n: Olá! I’m your resident ball of stress and anxiety posing as a your average brazilian uni student trying my hand at writing fic in english after literal years writing solely on my mother tongue, how yall doing? Anyway that is just a very long way of saying i can’t promise perfect english and that i’m very nervous and very excited about posting this. There will be a lot of ships and queens so i’m just going to tag them as they appear, thanks and enjoy!

Summary: Manila being in love with her best friend is just proof that Karma is real and getting back at her for laughing at her coworkers and teasing them over their lack of guts to act on their obvious feelings. Surely that’s it, a cruel joke of the universe and something she will get over with time so in meantime she just needs to focus on something that isn’t Raja. Naturally playing cupid is exactly what she needs.

Chapter summary: Raja breaks up with her girlfriend, swears off dating and Manila has a existential crisis, or several, but who is counting anyway?

***

Manila is not a useless lesbian.

Well she is a lesbian. And okay she can be a bit slow and useless in certain circumstances, sometimes hidden jokes and social clues will fly over her head, but it happens with everyone okay, it’s not that big of a deal. But those two characteristics together? No ma’am, Manila considers herself a pretty sharp lesbian, especially since she works with several textbook representations of useless lesbians. Her workplace is filled with useless lesbians.

RuPaul’s Look Race started small and easily lost in the big Los Angeles scenario, a modeling agency born of spite aimed to the outcasts of the fashion world like the founder herself and it quickly won over the hearts of all the models who used to the racism and homophobia of the fashion industry saw themselves drawn to what promised to be a safe accepting spot. With care it grew exponentially in a short space of time attracting not only clients but also employees who failed to check most of the box on privilege, Manila was hired on the third year of existence of the agency and she saw as it grew and grew until they became the name in everyone’s mouth, the first place that LGBT models turned to, expanding its wings until they started to gather to artists in general rather than only models.

They are an one of a kind business, no one does as much as them, no one attends to so many different artists in so many different fronts all at once so of course they are a big deal, especially when you consider how inclusive they are.

It makes for a very livid, very gay, workplace and Manila would not trade it for the world. The longest living unofficial rule of the place is “LGBT+ until proven straight or cis” because she could easily count how many of her coworkers don’t fit under the rainbow. It feels good to be out and proud of her sexuality, her own personal bubble in a world that wasn’t always kind to her. One of the most unexpected consequences of working on the gayest business in America however is the ridiculous amount of pinning she gets to watch unfold before her daily.

Manila can give you examples of actual useless lesbians until you are begging her to stop and she knows as a fact that she is nothing like them, she doesn’t do those things they do, she knows how to flirt and she damn well knows when someone is flirting with her, and more than that she always knows what to do in those situations.

Until now.

Because Raja broke up with her girlfriend and Manila is facing a life crisis where she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

It’s not like this is the first time this has happened, it’s nothing really new to be honest, Manila has know Raja for almost 10 year and she cannot count how many partners her friend had in those, this is far from the first breakup Manila has lived through and at this point she knows their routine by muscle memory alone.

Raja for someone who is actually quite polished and has her life together has quite a problem with keeping a stable relationship for long periods of time, Manila is sure that in those 10 years of friendship the longest relationship lasted a bit more than 2 years, but at the same time Raja is the type of person who doesn’t like being single for too long what may explain everything.

So Manila is well versed in post-breakup Raja.

She knows that her friend was the one to end it simply because she texted her asking to come over, it’s just one of her things. If her partner was the one to break things off Raja would seek Raven’s company so both of them could curse and complain and Raven in all her sharp tongued abrasive self would point out all the flaws in the ex until Raja felt better about it, they always showed up with killer hangover after those talks but the older woman always looked better and less down after yet another rejection when Raven was done with her.

But when Raja was the one to break it off she always went to Manila because Raven couldn’t see the point in getting sad over something you choose, for good reason, to call off. Manila knew that just because you were the one to pull the plug doesn’t mean you aren’t hurting and sad to see it gone no matter how bad things had become or how better in the long run the decision is.

If she is selfishly honest Manila sorta likes those post breakup hangouts they have, she likes the intimacy and closeness they bring to their friendship. Raja is not shy with her affection but she hardly is the most touchy person either so the younger woman relishes on those nights where Raja will curl her long limbs in her couch touching Manila’s side and resting her head on her shoulder, sometimes playing with her fingers or just holding her hand.

It’s good, Raja always smells like subtle spicy perfume and her skin is soft and impossibly warm at all times. It’s also very normal and very platonic. It’s not like how Katya will take any and every excuse available to touch Trixie even if for a few seconds, hands itching towards her every time they get together to discuss something or just casually talk, the blonde Russian cleaning her schedule for those meetings and pretending no one knows about it.

It’s not like that for Raja and Manila. If Manila rests her own head over Raja’s, well it’s just a comfort thing, and if she takes a deep breath so the other’s perfume is all she can smell, who can blame her? It is a good perfume.

So this time is no different from any other time. Raja shows up at her door, defeated expression looking so out of place in her angular features, Manila ushes her inside and they almost cuddle on the couch while some stupid comedy plays in the background.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She whispers softly even if it’s not necessary.

She feels more than sees Raja sighs.

“Not sober.”

“Gotcha.”

Manila nudges her a bit so she can get up already missing the warmth and rushing to her kitchen so she can find the wine she knows it’s Raja’s favorite. That’s another normal, completely platonic thing Manila does, keeping Raja’s favorite drinks and food around even if she isn’t particularly fond of it herself.

It’s not like she is like Shea who buys or makes tea for Sasha every time she gets coffee for herself, completely unprompted, just so she can have a excuse to go to her and chat for a few moments, smiling dumbly as the Russian smiles that bright kind smile of hers that could melt ice and melts Shea’s heart like butter. It’s not like that because Manila doesn’t go out her way to buy those things or uses them as an excuse to talk to her friend, she just buys it with her own groceries to keep it around if needed, and it’s good to have food your friend likes around right? Especially for moments like this!

Patting herself on the back for being such a prepared friend Manila goes back with two glasses and two bottles of wine feeling like one is not going to be enough. The smile that Raja gives her when she reads the label could make flowers grow.

She pours them full glasses before sitting back on the couch, Raja automatically curling back into her side and even if her elbow is kinda uncomfortably pressed against her side and her hair is trickling her neck Manila would never make any movement or say anything to make her change positions. They drink in silence, finishing several cups before Raja lets out another long sigh.

“I broke up with her after a date. It just kind of hit me as we were leaving the restaurant that we spent basically the whole meal in silence, she kept looking at her phone and it didn’t bother me at all. We used to turn out our phones during dates.”

“I’m sorry Raj, falling out of love sucks balls but you know it was for the best for the both of you. It wouldn’t be fair to keep going like this, relationships shouldn’t be something you are having out of convenience, and hey now you both are free to find someone new.”

Saying those words leave a sour taste in her mouth, the idea of Raja once again going out on mindless dates with random women, falling in bed with them until one catches her attention enough for her to try yet again to have an actual relationship, is making her heart clench in her chest.

Platonically of course.

Manila is simply tired of seeing her friend meet dead end after dead end and find herself on her or Raven’s couch drinking away the pain. It’s not like there is any hidden motive for that feeling, Manila knows herself, knows her own heart, if there was anything more than best friend concern she would surely know. It’s probably not different from what Jujubee and Raven feel for each other.

“It’s the same thing every fucking time Nila, it doesn’t matter if I’m the one dumping or the one dumped the reason is always the same we just fall out of love, for fucks sake why can’t i get regular messy breakups once in a while? Why can’t I get cheated on?”

“Why exactly would you want to get cheated on? I, just like every normal person, prefer clean breakups but you seem to think they are overrated.”

“Like you are anywhere near being normal Miss Pineapple Dress for a Fancy Work Party” Raja laughs lightly, Manila feeling it with her body

“That dress was fucking awesome and i will not be shamed for being a fashion icon ahead of my own time.”

“Whatever you say” The fond amusement in the taller woman makes her smile wider, allowing herself to relax even more against the warm body

“You still didn’t answer why somehow getting cheated on would be better than a nice clean breakup.”

“Because then i could explain why it happened, I could get mad at someone else because it wouldn’t be my fault.” Raja’s voice is softer than it was the whole night, barely over a whisper “You know why i got dumped last time? Because she said i was never really there, that i never allowed her to actually know me.”

Automatically and uncaring about the awkwardness of the position Manila throws her arms around Raja hating the way her voice sounds and hating the words even more. Maybe she is biased, maybe she isn’t really trying to put herself in the ex girlfriends shoes, but she just can’t phantom why anyone would say that about Raja of all people.

Her best friend is intense in all the best ways, she puts herself into everything she does to the point someone will eventually have to drag her away from her projects, she may look unapproachable and regal with her beautiful features and high fashion clothes but she is one of the biggest dorks Manila knows, full of passion and bad jokes. And yes she is a bit hard to know, it takes time to take her down her walls and see beyond the carefully crafted poise and sharp words, but she is worth every minute spent trying.

“And i guess she was right, i guess i do this all the time because it’s the same thing now, someone falling out of love with me because i wasn’t giving them enough. Maybe I’m just not meant for this.”

“This?” Manila tightens her arms around Raja like she is trying to squeeze that resigned tone away

“Love, relationships, the whole nine yards. Meaningless one night stands are clearly more of my thing since they are the one thing I can successfully manage.”

“That’s not true! You of all people shouldn’t be selling yourself this short you big idiot, you are amazing and people should be lucky to have a shot with you. You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

“Are you taking life advice from those stupid romcoms Vanessa is obsessed with? Because it sounds like it.” Her words lack the necessary bite to sound like a insult even if she snorts disbelieving and Manila slaps her chest without breaking the hug

“Okay edgy lord maybe you should watch one of those and lift your spirit because this talk is not like you at all.”

She goes for a joking tone, poking Raja again but is glad the older woman can’t see her face and the way her brows are furrowed. This is new. Unfamiliar and uncomfortable in a way that those post breakups encounters never were, not even in the beginning of their friendship where Manila was still testing the waters and what worked with her friend. Raja was always sad, though she only cried twice in 10 years, and her smiles never quite reached her eyes even if they softened a little when Manila said something funny or ridiculous, but never like this, never truly defeated in this raw way. Raja hardly ever gets this low in her self esteem anymore and never about her love life and the fact that she is, is throwing Manila out of her loop, this is new territory.

“Maybe I should take a page out of Violet’s book and just give dating up altogether, she is young but is clearly into something.”

“Really? Because as far as i know if Violet wasn’t so open about how anti dating she is then either Pearl or Max would have totally already made a move and we wouldn’t have to watch them dancing around each other like that.”

“But that’s the thing, the problem with Violet doing it is that someone is in love with her and I think we have established that no one is in love with me.” And before Manila can say the obvious Raja beats her to it “And i don’t think anyone ever will.”

I am.

The thought almost makes its way out of her mouth before Manila stops herself, biting her tongue so hard she can taste blood.

It comes out of nowhere and everywhere at the same time, a certain that just overtakes her body and sets on her bones like it belongs there, like it was just laying under the superficie waiting to make itself known. Her breath catches on her throat and she must make some sort of chocked sound because Raja cranks her neck to look at her, sad eyes and soft smile making Manila want to scream.

“It’s okay Nila, don’t take me too seriously, I had a couple of shots before coming here so I’m just being drunk.”

Manila just nods, words stuck in her throat in fear of what will come out if she let them out, Raja sighs again and even in normal circumstances her words would not make the younger woman less worried, the excuse of drunkness not erasing the self deprecating voice and sad tired eyes, but now they just make her heart ache even more.

God.

This is fucked up.

Fucked up and so, so right.

Of course she is in love with Raja, of course there is nothing really platonic in a lot of her actions, in the way something ugly and heavy curls inside of her when Raja gets another girlfriend, in the way that her chest feel warm when Raja smiles at her in delight, how her laugh can light up her day, how her hugs can make the bad days look less dark, how having her arms around her feels good, how warm she feels in the places they are touching.

Manila thanks whatever deity is watching her that the realization stucks her when Raja is already drunk and half asleep, curling even more on the couch, letting her weight rests fully against Manila as her breathing gets deeper, and that she didn’t decide to lay down facing her because Manila doesn’t know how she would hide her reaction.

Karma is definitely a bitch she decides almost hysterically as her bitten tongue slowly stops bleeding.

This is karma for laughing at her friends, she is sure it is, what else can explain the universe punishing her with this? With those feelings? Clearly she cracked one too many jokes about Crystal and Gigi being oblivious, or rolled her eyes too much when watching Shea and Sasha, or Trixie and Katya, or maybe she snickered too loudly watching Vanjie and Brooke or maybe she gave Jinkx shit romantic advice or something she can’t even remember. Maybe, she muses, it’s a combination, all those little things piling up until karma decided to get her for them all at once and landed her in this mess.

She is in love with Raja.

Wonderful, clever, talented, beautiful Raja who struggles to maintain meaningful romantic relationships.

Raja who is one of her best friends. One who basically decided to give up dating 10 minutes ago.

What the fuck Manila is supposed to do now?

~~~~~~~~

Manila decides after a bad sleep night in an uncomfortable position in her not so soft couch that the best course of action is doing nothing.

She needs… She needs time to process this sudden epiphany, to analyze their interactions and her actions and try to pinpoint when exactly platonic friendship transformed itself into something she never expected or intended to, something she is too afraid to name. Gather her thoughts and her emotions in a more organized way than the panic and confusion of last night.

She also needs time for Raja to get over the breakup, again this is a familiar scenario and Manila knows what will happen, has watched as her friend tried to drown herself into work until the sting of another failed relationship disappeared multiple times and understand that is the worst possible moment to try to act on those…. feelings. If, and that is a big gigantic if, Raja takes her mind away from fashion for one second to seriously consider Manila’s hypothetical words there is the risk of being a rebound fuck, a distraction.

Manila is not sure of many things about those feelings but one that she knows with clarity is that she doesn’t want to be a one night stand, a band aid to help with loneliness, Manila is not that girl who will let herself be used as a mean to something else, she has more self love than that. She wants the real thing, the full experience. If she can’t have that she will not settle for scraps, her heart is not strong enough to deal with that.

So when her alarm blasts, too soon she laments as her eyelids seem to be glued shut and her brain protests that she sleep too little and too badly, she is relieved Raja choose to end things in a Sunday because that means Manila will have work to distract her mind and stop her from spending a day long pity party overthinking all her feelings like a lunatic.

At least she hopes so.

Raja is already up and moving around in the kitchen by the time Manila drags her body away from the couch feeling places she didn’t know could hurt screaming in protest. Shit, she needs a better couch, she feels bad for letting her friends sleep in that now. The dark haired woman makes her way to the kitchen and is not prepared to have the air sucked out of her chest by the vision in front of her.

It’s ridiculous. It’s not something new, some groundbreaking scenario that she never got to witness, some hidden part of Raja that she didn’t know existed. It’s ordinary, familiar in a way that makes her insides all warm and fuzzy and that’s the problem.

It’s familiar, it’s domestic.

There is something in the way that Raja moves around her small kitchen making toast and sipping coffee from a bright yellow mug, clearly fresh showered with her hair still damp, not even pausing to think where things are or what ingredients Manila will have that is so right. It feels right to have her there, so comfortable and at peace in a place Manila considers so intimate, so personal. Raja looks at home and the domesticity of it makes something in Manila ache.

This is what she wants, she realizes, to wake up and find Raja sipping coffee or to wake first and make her something to eat or to spend a lazy morning together.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Raja says when she realizes Manila is there snapping the other back to reality “You know seeing how late you set your alarm I can totally understand how you are always late.”

“My alarm is set at the perfect time, it’s not my fault LA’s traffic is more unstable than Gia Gun’s eyelashes.” The answer comes easily and she thanks a higher power that she can act like a actual human around Raja

“Well maybe that’s a sign that you should set it earlier, it wouldn’t kill to arrive earlier in the good days.”

“And how would you know? I don’t think you even know your actual work hours anymore.”

“Raven told me” Raja smiles cheekily, sipping from her mug to hide it “Want me to make you some toast while you get ready?”

“Sure”

She says and does her best to not look like she is bolting the fastest she can because while it’s the truth it doesn’t mean she wants Raja to realize it. It’s the domesticy again, the easiness and calm that comes with having Raja there offering to make fucking toast like she belongs in her home.

Manila lets her forehead rest against the shower wall as the water falls on her back trying to get her shit together before she faces her best friend and new found love again. She will not freak out, she will not over analyze shit or stare like some sort of lovesick fool with no self control.

She is a grown up woman and she knows how to behave when she is attracted to someone.

At least that is what she tells herself and what she fails to do almost instantly. Because as Manila dresses herself she can’t stop thinking about the fact that Raja has clothes at her place. Clothes. And Manila has clothes at Raja’s place as well and that’s… that’s not really a really platonic thing is it? Manila doesn’t have a drawer full of her things in her parent’s house for fucks sake.

This is karma she swears to herself, this is karma for laughing at poor airheads Crystal and Gigi for being oblivious, this is the universe getting back at her and making her the stereotypical useless lesbian who doesn’t even really she is in love and practically dating her best friend.

But at the same time she can’t help but wonder if that means something as big as she thinks. So they have clothes at each other’s houses and Manila doesn’t do that with anyone else, but what if that’s something regular with Raja? Does she leave things in Raven’s or Delta’s houses too? Is that something special they share or it’s just one of those Raja things that make Manila smile fondly when she thinks no one is watching?

Fuck, Manila is really turning into one of those people. She makes a sound of frustration in her chosen shirt, pressing the fabric to her face and trying to block everything but the pleasant smell of the shirt and take a few deep breaths to again get her shit together.

When she finally finishes her makeup and makes her way back to the kitchen she is ready to face the day and suppress her feelings like a normal woman.

Things go smoothly after that and Manila shots down the voice in her mind whispering that that is a good sign, they eat among small talk and Raja mentions her breakup only once when she mentions her ex will go pick her things when she’s at work and she’s relieved they will not have to have another face to face conversation, Manila holds her hand and squeeze giving Raja her best comforting smile not letting go until the smile she gets in answer doesn’t look fabricated.

On the way to work their topic of conversation changes as they begin discussing their agendas for the day trying to squeeze a joint break. They don’t have many reasons to interact during work hours, Raja, along with Bianca, run their fashion department dealing with clothing most of their non model clients while Manila works exactly with the modeling section of the business and since both are high up on the hierarchy there is really not much leeway to go hang out at each other side of the building, having to settle for lunch wherever work allows them to leave at the same time.

“You want to go to that new Italian place down the block?” Manila asks as they get close enough to see their workplace towering among others

“Rain check.” Raja says as she twists her thick hair in a bun that somehow manages to look elegant rather than messy “Willam got a show coming up and i have to meet her to brainstorm concepts for the looks.”

“Oh… we can go after you finish?”

“We are meeting for lunch actually.”

“Right…” Manila kicks herself as soon as the word leaves her mouth, her disappointment so thick she can almost taste it and it’s fucking ridiculous

“We can go tomorrow if you like?”

“Maybe, we have a photoshoot tomorrow but it looks like Dahlia is sick and if she can’t make it i need to be there to find a quick replacement.” Ugh sometimes being the official problem solver sucks

“That’s okay we can just try again another day.” Raja smiles at her then, all white teeth and soft eyes, and her hand rests on her shoulder as if she can sense that Manila is unhappy

And maybe she can because if her face is showing half of what she is feeling then Manila is officially looking like a pooting teenager and that is not a flattering look on someone her age. Again she feels like screaming because the universe is clearly trying to rub her face in her own obliviousness about her own feelings, again this is not new, there were times they had to cancel lunch plans when the other was already seated because something urgent came up, and neither is the disappointment and mildly annoyance in her chest when she realizes she will have to spend a day without sharing a part of her day with Raja, but now, now that she is painfully aware of the exact nature of her feelings there is another layer to that disappointment that she was unaware of and doesn’t really like.

It doesn’t help that it’s Willam that Raja is going to meet.

Don’t get her wrong, Willam may be a diva and a pain in the ass, the cause of many tears on their PR department because of her crude and biting humour, but she is not the worst client they ever had and once you get used to her particular brand of vulgarity there is a lot of fun to have with her. But Willam is, above everything, a self proclaimed slut.

There is an ongoing joke that the reason she gets so many gigs as an actress in crime shows is because she doesn’t really have to act as a prostitute or young slut, she just has to be herself. Willam is very confident and very comfortable in her sexuality and Manila is actually impressed with that, she really is, but that doesn’t mean that she wants that energy around post breakup Raja right after Manila discovered she has more than platonic feelings for her.

It’s a receipt for disaster, well, actually it’s receipt for sex what in her books are exactly the same thing.

She forces that stupidity down as hard as she can. There is pinning and then there is suffering for imagining your… crush having sex with someone else and Manila is not going to be that person, she really isn’t. The younger woman sighs quietly and grips the steering wheel glad that Raja is too busy dealing with loose strands of hair to pay attention to her reactions.

“If i’m free tomorrow i will shoot you a text” She says going for a smile

“Great! I will keep my agenda free then.”

Manila’s heart totally doesn’t skip a beat.

She is so fucked.

#rpdr fanfiction #manila luzon #raja gemini #rajila #lesbian au #pining #karma is a bitch #flor #concrit welcome #submission

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