#their ship name would be booze. deal with it

[aimless-aimz]

bitches be like "booigi this bowigi that"

shut up. luigi is the malewife to daisy's girlboss. (dont shut up actually im sorry luigi has two hands after all)/hj

if you want gay people, ship bowser and KB bc they have SOMETHING going on. they both obviously are not straight (ramble in the tags about sort of why)

(i do not hate any of these ships! they are not problematic! i just like this rarepair and i think i fucking invented this lmaooo)

[alatushours]

☆ STARS, SNORES & SAKE, feat. roronoa zoro — after a long day of celebrations, all zoro wants is to spend some quiet time with his lover.

contents. gender neutral reader. established relationship, fluff. use of y/n + pet names (zoro calls reader baby, you call him birthday boy). zoro birthday special! ♡ word count. 1.4k

notes. guess who’s back from the dead… that’s right it’s me! and just in time for zoro’s birthday too ♡ (watch me disappear after posting this) lowk zoro might be ooc but who cares i just want soft zoro maaaan. i haven’t written in so long but i really hope you guys enjoy! follows & reblogs are appreciated!

ZORO WAS EXHAUSTED. it had been seven in the morning when he’d been ambushed by the straw hats with party poppers and balloons as he was on his way towards the crow's nest for his daily morning workout. all day, he’d been surrounded by noise, confetti, and luffy gum-gum-rocketing into him every five minutes. now it was nine in the evening, and the crew was still partying the night away. 

he didn't understand why they made such a big deal out of celebrating it, really. his birthday was never that important in the past, so why should it be now? but he supposed that everything was different here than in shimotsuki village, out on the grand line. 

well, at least they had booze. 

he picked up a new bottle of sake from the counter and made his way back over to the table, avoiding luffy and usopp chasing each other around the kitchen with chopsticks stuck up their noses. he’s surprised how they still had so much energy after devouring the feast that sanji had made for dinner. (actually, he was more surprised that the shitty cook spent so much effort on the food, considering it was him they were celebrating.) 

he couldn't help but glance over at you, who was chatting with robin across the table. as he sat down, your eyes met his for a brief moment, and a silent conversation was exchanged between the two of you. 

i'm tired of this. come with me? 

give me just a little longer, 'kay? wanna finish this piece of cake. 

he sighed and made himself comfortable in his chair, his eyes never leaving you. taking a few sips from his bottle, once glancing at nami across the table, who was staring at him. 

what? he mouthed. 

nothing, she mouthed back. 

as soon as zoro saw you eat the last bite of your cake, he stood up and and was beside you at the table before you could even put the fork down.

“come to the deck with me.” he left the question mark out of his sentence; he knew you would come whether he asked you or not, anyway.

you giggled and pushed back out of your chair, taking his awaiting hand. “sure, birthday boy.” 

“don’t call me that.” zoro grumbled at the name, but there was just a tiny hint of a smile on his face. 

“oi, zoro! where are you and y/n going?” luffy asked, mouth half-full of meat. 

“out for some quiet time,” the swordsman replied. “you guys are too noisy. you can have the rest of the cake if ya want, captain.” 

luffy laughed in approval as zoro turned away, ignoring the cook’s grumble of “ungrateful marimo” as he made his way out the kitchen holding his bottle of sake in one hand and your intertwined fingers in the other. 

the smell of sea salt was fresh on the breeze. gentle waves rocked against the hull of the ship, and the stars peeked out in the clear night sky.

“perfect weather for stargazing tonight, isn't it?” you asked him, the sound of your shoes clacking against the wooden deck of the sunny. 

zoro nodded, finding a comfortable place to sit at the bow of the ship by the sunny's masthead. he patted the empty space next to him, which you gladly settled down into.

"finally, some peace and quiet," he sighed, arm instinctively curling around your waist. “i love the crew, but they’re noisy as hell.” 

you nodded your head against his shoulder, listening to the sound of the waves. then suddenly you jumped up to your boyfriend's surprise with an "oh! i almost forgot." you turned and smiled mischievously at him. "wait here for a minute." 

before he could answer, you were scurrying off towards your shared cabin. zoro exhaled, taking a swig from his bottle of alcohol. you were always like this, spontaneous in everything you did. he'd stopped asking you what you were up to a long time ago. most of the time it was just you surprising him with things, anyway. he figured it was probably the same this time too. 

before you long you came back up to him, holding a paper gift bag with a green ribbon tied around the handles. "here," you smiled down at him, and he swore he was seeing the sun. "it's your present. it isn't much, but i hope you like it!" 

"for me?" he took the bag tentatively as you sat back down next to him, wondering what it could possibly be. he wasn't one for gifts, really; but if it was from you it was sure to be something thoughtful. he started pulling things from inside the bag; there was a fancy bottle of sake; he was sure it had to have been expensive. and there was something else. a full-color drawing of himself, held in a wooden picture frame. 

"when did you draw this?" zoro asked. he already knew it was you who made it; the art style was the same as the doodles you liked to draw of him for fun.

"a few days ago, when you were training," you replied. "i sat n' watched, remember? i was drawing the whole time. i tried to be sneaky about it, but i still think you noticed." 

now that he thought about it, he had seen you sketching something in your notebook when he was training. he thought you were simply passing the time with him, but it was really for a different purpose.

"well, it looks just like me." he was impressed at the likeness of the drawing to himself; you'd captured his intense stare, the miniscule droplets of sweat rolling down his face. you'd even drawn the metallic sheen on his swords reflecting in the sunlight. 

"are you sure you like it? it looks okay, right?" you asked him nervously. you had spent extra time afterwards making sure it looked just like him, and even more time perfecting the colors and shading. 

zoro chuckled and leaned over to kiss your forehead. "more than okay, baby. it's beautiful. thank you." he pointed to the unopened bottle of sake. "and thanks for this too. i'm sure it must've been expensive." 

you shook your head. "not really. i just borrowed a bit from robin, that's all." 

he laughed. "at least ya didn't borrow from nami. that witch would probably be all up in your face to pay her back already." 

"yeah, i guess." you leaned against his shoulder, and it was quiet for a while; just you, him, and the gentle lullaby of the ocean waves. 

"i'm glad you like it, though." you whispered after a while. "i was worried…" 

"the hell you'd have to be worried about?" zoro straightened up to look at you then. "you know i don't give a damn about what you get me, as long as it's from you. though… next year, i wouldn’t mind if you drew the two of us. so i can look at it when i miss you."

you blushed. "zoro, you see me almost every day." then suddenly, you laughed. "wait a minute, is the hard-as-steel swordsman of the strawhats being romantic?" 

it was his turn to blush. "i don't know what the hell you're talking about, you idiot." he cleared his throat, then continued. "but really, y/n. don't worry so much 'bout these things, got it? you know i keep all your gifts, anyway." 

“okay.” you kissed him under the pale moonlight, with just the moon and the stars to bear witness to it. his lips tasted like sea and sake and home. “happy birthday, ‘zo. i love you.” 

“love you too, baby.” 

you made yourself comfortable in the warmth of zoro's arms, gazing up at the bright stars above. before you knew it, the rocking of the ship and the soft lull of your boyfriend's chest was enough to send you drifting off to sleep. 

zoro sighed contently, the sound of your soft snores peaceful in his ears. careful not to disturb you from your rest, he stood up. carrying you with one arm and holding your gifts to him in the other, he slowly walked back towards your room. 

he was never one for birthdays, but you made them worth celebrating.

end notes. damn i haven’t written something this long since last year. it took me like a month to type 500 words and then i finished the other 900 yesterday… lowk dunno how i feel about how this turned out but i hope you guys liked!

© alatushours 2024. please do not copy, modify, or translate my work in any way, nor upload to any other platforms. in the meantime, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and consider leaving a follow! it helps a lot ♡

[lockes-woods]

Kinktober '24 Day 1

Request: I cant help myself another kinktober ask: shanks x mihawk x afab reader. overstimulation, bondage, vibrators

Requested By: @motherofbirbs

WARNINGS: smut, overstimulation, MxM, MxFxM, anal sex, bondage, sex toys, degradation, name calling, masturbation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 A deep whine escaped you as you struggled against your restraints. Eyes locked onto your partners making out shamelessly in front of you. Mihawk was reclined against the headboard in your shared bed, his legs spread to accommodate Shanks who was reclining against him. You felt helpless as Mihawk worked on opening up the redhead, while Shanks cupped his face to pull him into a deeper kiss. You felt tears of frustration prick at your eyes. While you could always close your eyes or look away something inside of you made you want to watch. You still felt antsy from the orgasm your partners had stolen from you, when you were teetering on the edge of your peak. While you knew you were technically in the wrong, it didn’t make your current situation any easier to deal with.

It had been a long day in the city where the Red Force was currently docked. You had accompanied your partners into the island to aid in almost an entire restock of all goods from soap to flour to booze. That was until you started to get a headache. Both your partners agreed it’d be best for you to get out of the sun and lay down back in your shared cabin. That’s when you committed a maneuver you’d perfected over your time as Mihawk and Shanks lover. While Shanks was pulling you in for a goodbye kiss you rested your palm on his left side slipping the keys to your sex toy drawer from his belt. You had already planned to pretend you found them on the floor of your cabin and leave them with his things inside your shared quarters. You didn’t do it often, but when you knew you’d need an assist to cum and both your partners were going to be busy you’d succumbed to stealing the keys.

You objectively knew you’d be punished, but you also knew that when nothing else worked to get rid of a headache cumming almost always does the trick. If it were just Mihawk you had to worry about you would have flat-out asked for the keys, but you had to be a bit sneakier when it came to the redhead. Shanks had a few hard stops when it came to sex, but one of his biggest was when anything other than him and Mihawk made you cum. That included not only sex toys, which he referred to as ‘the replacements’, but also you. Since the start of your relationship, you were only allowed to make yourself cum if one of your loves were present and gave permission, or if there were extenuating circumstances. Masturbation was the highest on the list of things to earn you a punishment. Outside of the punishment, there was also the unwanted side effect of how it affected Shanks. He’d start out pissed and domineering, before edging into a pout post punishment. Which while it doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world it was hard to get him out of that mood.

The last time he’d caught you masturbating he looked angry in the moment, before dissolving into what only could be described as a kicked puppy. Shanks was proud of many of the skills he had garnered over the years, but one he prided himself on was always making you cum. When you used toys or touched yourself, he took it as a personal affront to his character and abilities. After being caught you had to not only be punished but also help build up his mood. You had only done this a handful of times and only when you were desperate, like today. You just wanted to be able to nip this headache in the bud and get on with your day. You knew your partners would be too busy to help and off the ship for at least a couple more hours; at least you thought that’d be the case.

You were close, so close. You were spread out on your shared bed, half-dressed, rocking against the thrusts of your favorite vibrating dildo. Your eyes were shut as you focused on the pleasure the toy was giving you. You shamelessly moaned your lover’s names the closer you got to your orgasm. That’s when the door to your cabin was suddenly flung open, your partners mistaking your pleasure-filled moans, for groans of pain. They both stood there for a moment before taking in the situation at hand. Unsurprisingly Mihawk reacted first, quickly closing the door. You and Shanks held each other’s gazes for a moment. You were frozen in fear still stuffed full of the dildo, his eyes sharpening as he took in the situation in a look, you’d only been on the receiving end of a few times. He was pissed.

He marched forward and yanked the toy from its place deep inside you, causing you to let out a stuttered moan. He tossed it aside on the bed away from you, before grabbing onto your ankle and pulling you down to the foot of the bed. You sat panting as your partners silently communicated through a shared look. Mihawk turned to lock the door as Shanks gripped your chin and guided you onto your feet, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, causing Shanks to let out a dry laugh.

“Oh baby, you will be.” He responded, a dark look in his eye. He settled you down in his desk chair, now naked, and bounding your hands behind your back with his belt in a rushed job. He pulled a whimper from you as he did one final tug to make sure they were snug, but not too tight. He moved quickly as Mihawk stood over you, crossed arms, gazing down at you disappointedly.

“You couldn’t have waited a half hour?” he asked looking down his nose at you.

“N-no,” you whined, thighs rubbing together chasing any form of friction.

“Baby,” Shanks interrupted, pushing your knees apart, before crouching down to your level, “Color?’

“Green,” you panted.

“And your safe word?” he prompted, pressing a vibrator on, teasing it between your lower lips. Your eyes widened, it wasn’t just a normal vibrator, no he chose the one with the remote control.

“Love?” he said pulling you back into reality.

“Marines,” you answered, eyes locked on the bullet-shaped vibrator, covered in different designs of ridges. You moaned as he roughly shoved it inside of you, before he stood up to his full height, towering over you.

“You’ve been a bad girl today. Since you want to use your toys so badly that’s all you’ll be given today. I expect even a slut like you to listen and follow each of my commands; is that clear?” he asked clicking the vibrator on a lower setting. Just high enough to keep you wet, but not enough to make you cum.

“Yes,” you nodded,

“Good,” he responded, tugging Mihawk down for a kiss as the two started to tear off each other’s clothing, before falling into bed.

Which left you here, fully restrained watching as Mihawk jerked Shanks off at a firm, but steady pace. Before he hooked the redhead’s thigh outside of his own, giving you a clear view of all the action. Mihawk then clicked open the cap of some lube, before spreading a decent about on his fingers and Shanks asshole. Shanks melted against Mihawk as he breached into his heat with one hand while the other continued to jerk Shanks off. You rubbed your thighs together desperately; you could feel your slick wetting the wooden seat of the chair.

A surprised gasp escaped you when the vibrator clicked up to its highest setting. A shiver rocked through you as the sex toy pulsed, vibrated, and shook deep within you. You threw your head back as the coil inside of you tightened so fast it was almost painful.

“Love,” Shanks called out, snapping what little of your attention you could spare to opening your eyes and taking him in. By the sound of his voice, he was just as close to cumming as you were.

“Fuck, please,” you begged as your legs began to preemptively shake.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he ordered, you tried your hardest mind already foggy from pleasure.

“Cum,” he ordered, your eyes never leaving his as you hit your peak. You writhed against the chair with what little movement you had. Your bottom lip caught between your teeth as you came down from your high. You panted, eyes still glued to his, the vibe slowing, but not completely turned off.

“Fuck,” you moaned, finally catching your breath, “Thank you, captain,” you said, well-trained by your more dominant partners.  

“You're welcome baby,” he panted, whining as Mihawk slipped his fingers out of him. Your eyes were hooded from lust, as you watched Mihawk slowly fuck up into Shanks as he adjusted. While there were many ways to describe how Shanks looked from day to day, emotion to emotion only one word came into your head seeing him like this: pretty. From the blush staining his cheeks that matched the irritated head of his cock, to his hardened nipple to his tousled hair. He was just so pretty.

Too enraptured by your partners to even think of the low vibrations still buzzing inside of you. You allowed yourself to be lulled into a false sense of security that you’d be stuck tied to the chair as your loves had their way with each other and then the punishment would be over; you were so wrong. A gasp punched through you as the vibration level jumped up to maximum once again. The stimulation borders on uncomfortable as your body is thrown into another peak. This time you lock eyes with Mihawk, a self-assured smirk plastered on his face as you saw he had one hand on Shank’s hip and the other gripping the remote. You barely have any time to process the situation before your body is once again shaking, slick now pooling in the seat of your chair.

You panted, with your head bowed as you tried your hardest to catch your breath. Only looking up when you heard Shanks moan in the tell-tale signs he was about to cum. This time he locked eyes with you, shaking in Mihawk’s arms as he came spurting cum all over his stomach and Mihawk’s hand.

“T-thank you, Sir,” you stuttered out reminded of Shanks’ orgasm that your lack of gratitude would only lead to more punishments. Mihawk acknowledged it with a small nod, before he threw Shanks on his stomach onto the bed, pushing the redhead’s shoulders down before he reentered him from his raised backside. Despite the almost painful second orgasm you couldn’t help yourself but rub your thighs together at Shanks’ fucked out face. Shanks shared a soft look with you, moments before you were jerked painfully against the chair unable to run away from the stimulation of the vibrator still lodged deep inside you.

Shanks let out a broken moan, just as wrecked as you were as Mihawk hit his prostate over and over again, with pinpoint accuracy. Your mind went blank as an equally pleasurable and painful orgasm ripped through you. You don’t register anything for a moment, only coming back down into your body as you feel Mihawk gently rubbing your wrist with ointment where the friction of the belt has been too much. He slowly spread your legs before tilting your head up to gain what little attention you had left.

“Love, I’m going to remove the vibrator now. Is that okay?” you nodded. He slowly took you step-by-step, letting you know his movements and be able to consent to each one. You let out a broken moan as he finally breached your pussy and felt around for the toy. As softly and slowly he as he could he pulled the toy out of your overstimulated cunt. He gently picked you up and tucked you into bed where you cuddled up with Shanks. Only having to wait a moment before your other love slipped in bed behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST

A/N: Okay I did better than I thought I would as far as holding back as much as I can to not overwrite. I'm trying to keep each one-shot as similar length-wise as possible to be fair to all those who requested. This was only 7 pgs and a little over 2,000 words. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed ^_^.

[raginglesbian2006]

I just read your Alastor x an overlord reader and it was literally amazing!!! I was wondering if you could do husk x an overlord reader next?

My first Husk fic! To be honest, I was hesitant to write this one since I ship him with Angel so much but I decided to give it a try anyway!

Hope you enjoy it!!

Husk with an overlord! reader

Ok, so you met him when he was an overlord as well

He, of course, beat you quite spectacularly at a game of cards. It impressed you, to be honest

Slowly, the two of you formed a friendship- him giving you some of the souls he'd win from gambling and you gifting him the finer luxuries of life, with booze, obviously.

Safe to say, both your love languages were gift-giving

So it surprised you when he suddenly stopped talking to you

You tried approaching him quite a lot, but he brushed you off, not looking you in the eye

Soon, you'd start hearing rumors about Husk selling his soul away to none other than....the radio demon

Your hands clutched around nothing. That bastard.

Seeing as he was now bound to the ever-grinning overlord, it wouldn't be until the Hazbin Hotel popped up that you were able to see your dear friend again

When you were made aware of the fact that the radio demon had started sponsoring the hotel, you knew that's where you would find Husk

And right, you were

He looked...dead. As if all the life was sucked from his being- never mind the fact that everyone in hell was in fact, not alive. Your dead heart ached at his miserable state

He hadn't noticed you when you walked into the establishment, greeted by the princess of hell herself. Your eyes stayed fixated on him, trying to get him to notice you without saying a word

Alastor materialized in front of you, his face stuck in a permanent grin

"Why, it is a surprise seeing you here, dear. Don't tell me you want to sponsor this hotel as well?"

Oh, how you wished you could punch this motherfucker. You could, it's just that you didn't want a fight to break out in front of Husk. He would probably scold you after.

"Alastor," you acknowledged him, "Rest assured, this fine establishment is all yours for the keeping. I am here for... other purposes."

Hearing your voice ring through the lobby, Husk stopped cleaning the glasses and looked at you. You were still talking to Alastor, but if looks could kill, the radio demon would've been dead by now.

After Alastor disappeared, the princess of hell excitedly introduced you to everyone, although you didn't need much of an introduction.

You approached Husk soon after and sat down in front of the bar. He didn't meet your eyes

"Husk," you greeted. He mumbled out your name in response.

The silence persisted and your annoyance grew.

"How have you been?" you asked.

"Just peachy," he replied, dryly.

"You know if I didn't care for you that much I would probably have already hung you upside down and tortured you till you spoke to me properly."

At this, Husk chuckled a little and finally met your eyes.

"It's nice to see you too"

Sensing your worry, he continued, "You don't need to worry about me. As you see, I'm doin' just fine."

"You say that as if you haven't sold your soul to the radio demon," your voice rose a bit.

Husk grumbled a little under his breath, "You don't know anything."

"Then tell me," you emphasized, "If you were that downtrodden on your luck, you could've just told me. I would've helped you out! You know I would've.

"Can we not do this right now?" Husk gritted his teeth, his angry eyes staring you down.

You huffed and relented, "As long as you promise, you're gonna talk about this with me, later." He agreed.

When no one was around, he told you about how he struck a deal with Alastor as a last resort, after having lost souls through gambling game after game. His reasoning for not talking to you about his struggles was that he didn't want to see him like that. Like he was struggling to stay afloat.

You didn't say anything. The only thing in your head was how you could help him get out of his situation now.

The rest of your day together was spent relishing in good memories, bonding over drinks, and ended with him beating you in a game of cards, again.

Before he retired for the night, you called out to him, "You know I would do anything to help you, you just need to ask."

Husk chuckled, "I know. I know. But I'm fine as long as I get to see you again."

From the corner of your eye, you saw a shadow. You turned around to see who it was, finding an empty corridor instead. You shrugged it off.

After helping Husk settle into his room and rest for the night, you disappeared with a click of your fingers.

A shadowy figure approached the radio demon. It slithered up to him and whispered to him whatever it saw and heard.

"Interesting..." Alastor's eyes lit up and his grin grew menacingly, "Interesting, indeed."

A/N: This turned out to be a whole ass fic lmao.

[matchadobo]

KIDD; fvck me like you love me

wc: 1933 summary: name finally gets vocal about her relationship with kidd, wanting more than just s3x warning/s: nsfw🔞, fem reader, smut-fluff-smut, very cute and sensual

"you catching feelings, captain?" you gazed at the shirtless redhead beside you, he's got his eyes closed and his human arm behind his head, his biceps and torso too fucking toned it drives you beyond insanity.

he opened his eyes, sitting and gazing down at you. "that so? you sure you're not breakin' first?" he got off the bed, waltzed to the bathroom without caring that he's fucking naked, and peed while looking at you in the mirror. after washing his hands, he made his way back.

"love, aye? you think you've got what it takes to love me?" he crawled back in the bed, reaching over to give you a wet kiss.

"mm-mm, it's too late, eustass. we've got to resupply and leave early tomorrow." you pulled away, but he instead planted kisses on your neck, gripping your waist closer.

"why'd i have to listen to you? i'm the captain of your ship, sugar." he murmured by your shoulders.

"come on, like i don't shut you up during sex." you got on top of him.

"you do most of the shutting up, don't you? got you all dumb over my cock." he had a firm grip on your hips, up to your waist, before he settled them on your tits. "what do you want? wanna go for round 2?"

"wanna know what i really want?" you leaned down, nose to nose and forehead to forehead with him. "i want you to fuck me like you love me."

he looked at you with stunned eyes, blinking as if it'd give him the clarity from what he just heard. "you've already dropped the hint so many times, right? why don't you come prove it, big guy?"

progress was there, but it ain't hefty. baby steps, you know eustass wasn't big on emotions. you'd notice he'd be on your side more, if not behind, or maybe act more protective by standing before you. he doesn't want to undermine how strong you are, he just wants to show you that this meathead will protect you.

he'd start holding you tighter during idle times in parties, his arms and touch would never leave you nor would his lips, you'd always find a place for yourself between his thighs.

when you're doing chores like laundry and dishes, he helps you and once you tease him about it, he'll brush off an excuse like he's bored and tells you to shut up about it. he'll even use his powers to give an extra hand. he'll even go an extra mile to help you carry stuff, brushing it off that your ass might get tired and he doesn't want to deal with it kinda shit.

and that one time, on your birthday, he even baked you a cake! with killer's help of course, but he didn't tell you that 🤫. he even got some frosting and powder on his body and shirt while handing it to you. he was the cutest thing.

instead of inviting you for booze, he'd have an intricately designed metal bouquet and will shyly hand it to you while asking you to have dinner with him at some lowkey diner on town. when you two would finish, he'd take you to the dock near your ship and dip your toes on the sea while watching the stars, moon, and entertaining yourselves with more shit you to never run out to talk about.

once it becomes too late and you two are in the mood, he'd give you a long kiss before spinning you around like the one they do in romantic movies. once you face him again, he'd wrap you in his embrace and place a kiss on your forehead. "you ready? i'll show you how the next pirate king fucks you like he loves you."

you found your saliva pooling in your mouth, hence choking, while alternating your gaze at his lustful, amber eyes. "i'm...scared?"

"that's what you also told me when we first met. seems you attract what you fear, lovely." he chuckled, letting you go before intertwining your fingers together as you two walked hand in hand on your shared quarters.

he'd start by taking your coat off, placing a kiss on your cold, bare shoulders on the way. you shivered and leaned at his touch. he then zipped down your dress, hooking the arm loops by your arms to let it slide down the floor before grasping your mounds firmly. his cold hands left you breathless as you shut your eyes.

"turn around for me, angel." he mumbled softly and you complied. he raised your chin with his index and planted a kiss on your lips, something was different about how he kisses lately. he takes his time taking your breath away with how long he wants to stay connected. he got more handsy, more on your neck, jaws, and cheeks.

your hands made its way to his clothes, slipping off his tank top and unbuttoning his jeans. he'd guide you to his raven, velvety bed while staying connected to you, swallowing your moans. once you made it to the bed, he'd let you lay down as he gets on top of you.

"ehh? doing the giving? that's a surprise, kidd." you propped yourself up by your elbows, watching him plant wet kisses on your bare body.

"mmm, wanna give my woman what she deserves." he peppered your skin with haphazard kisses and licks, making sure to stipple the surface of your torso with the prints from his lips.

"you're getting more slick with words, captain." you smiled, observing how he proceeds.

"aye. you've taught me beautiful things, sweet stuff." he met your twinkling eyes, his lips had a sheen of saliva as the tint on his lips get more smudged with each kiss on your body. "let's get this thing off, hm?" he lowly growled, biting the string of your panties and sliding it off your hips. "'s on the way."

"what a naughty captain you are." you got comofrtable, combing your fingers through his rich, ruby locks.

"you see," he pried your thighs open, nibbling at the skin just before your cunt. "i haven't gone to realize how much 'giving' is so much better than 'receiving' until i've seen you look at me with that dirty glint on your eyes, expecting to be praised and made love to." he reached over to brush his thumb under your eye. "how it begs for more and how you repeat 'please' like a dirty, little prayer when i dote on your pretty, throbbing cunt." he then placed his thumb to rub on your clit while keeping his eyes on you, he smirked seeing your face contort to a lewd pout. "and don't even get me started when you scream my name, sweetness. you sound so, so fuckin' precious."

"i'm at my fuckin' knees, my queen."

you stifled your moans with his pillows, pushing his head further in your cunt. he reached over to hold your hand, letting you bury his head on your sopping crevice.

once you were a panting, crazed, whore, he'd finally wipe off his mouth like he just had the meal of his life. he'd kiss you with the same lips that drowned in your juices, it was so dirty yet you love it so much.

he positioned himself. he rarely does missionary, he loves your ass so much he'd always be headstrung on giving you backshots. but now, he'd want to never take his eyes off you, the same with you to him. so he pressed his forehead to yours, intertwining your fingers with his, and exchanged breaths once he was fully in. you two fucked so many times but this one feels different, he feels different. he's warmer, he's more gentle. he looked into your eyes way more, he kissed you way more, and he held your hands on the way, squeezing each time you felt like you were leaving earth with his unholy manner of fucking.

"don't lose yourself too much, bunny. we're doing this all night." he planted a kiss on your cheek then on your hand after before grasping your hips and drilled into you. "you look so beautiful like this, name." he panted, throwing his head back and seeing as his styled hair get more and more disheveled. a hotter version of your lover. his eyeliner and lipstick was already smudged with all the unholy acts you two have been doing. his hair has been pulled so many times and your lipstick marks have decorated his face and body.

"y-you're too-aah- fucking good- fuck-" you slurred with each thrust, scratching on his arms as your eyes rolled at the back of your head. he's filling you up so good, so full, and he even held you tight. you were in heaven.

he leaned down, bodies close together as he slowed down his pace. connecting his forehead with yours once again, intertwined hands settled at the side of your head, his eyes looking deeply into yours. his hips rocking you back and forth, prying your legs open.

"i love you." he broke out, kissing the corner of your lips. "you're the best fucking thing that ever happened to me, you know that?"

you broke into giggles at this once emotionally constipated man that used to scowl and bark violently at you who was now inside you, at your cheeks as you felt the heat in his face get deeper, proclaiming his love for you. you pulled him in for a hug, placing a kiss on his cheek.

there was something different about his eyes. his eyes mirrors how he desires you, not sexually, but physically. he yearns to have you inside of him. too desperate to have you in his arms. too hungry to hear how you say it back to him. too hopeful to make you feel good. too lost in the pleasure of your cunt and the melody of your moans.

and he was slow and gentle. delicately fucking you yet he was so deep and so good. his breath was hot against your cheek as he panted for more. his grip was firm yet protective. his thrusts were sharp but he always studied your gaze, seeing any shift in your expression. it was a silent exchange of words with parted lips and smiling eyes. you stayed like that for a while, earnestly memorizing how each other looked under immense hypnosis of the addicting back and forth feeling. a warm, budding sensation that left knots on your stomachs.

kidd is the most, if not the only one, vocal partner you have ever slept with. he wouldn't have any shame in being so loud and letting your crew members hear how good he's feeling. but tonight, he was all about hums and low growls. he wanted to hear you more. he wanted to hear how much you wanted him. he wanted to hear how good he's making you feel. he wanted to chorus with your moans and let yours echo in his ears.

so once he was close, he placed his lips by your cheek after kissing your forehead. "do i come inside? can i come inside?" he begged, tucking hairs behind your ear. his hot breaths and guttural moans driving you stupid.

"hmm, i wouldn't mind having cute, little brats with you." you smiled ear to ear, placing a kiss on his forehead. you saw the gradual, sheepish smile that spread across his lips. "i'll be glad they'll take after their father."

this was kind of all over the place? buuut can't get started on the requests yet 🥹 shit at school are piling up again

[charkyzombicorn]

Well fuck Dragon! Au where he tries that bias bullshit on Crocodile and gets kicked in the dick for it while Crocodile just leaves with their son. Au where Luffy is the prince of Baroque Works and Robin is his bodyguard/best friend

I'm so sorry I lost this in my asks!!!

I saw that SBS that said Croc would spoil his kids rotten and yes definitely absolutely also timeline what timeline anyway

Croc left the RA when Luffy was abt 2 months old, Iva didn't want to directly betray Dragon so they started the half level in impel down and was down there for a while monitoring comings and goings and conveniently missing every letter their vice monarch sent abt Croc being stashed away on Peachy Island - he didn't Need need to but sailing on his own with an infant would be rough especially since most of his contacts were also connected to Dragon (and not completely coincidentally on Dragon's part) so he would be sailing alone. Peachy Island is also where he meets Bon Clay (13-14 at the time) and he becomes something of a son to Croc.

Croc and Luffy spend 3-ish years there before Croc decides he's not in fact done playing with fire and he wants to be a warlord so he can be a pirate with a respected home territory to keep Luffy and also because staying still so long made him Itch. Luffy spending 3 years surrounded by people with a bit more focus on vanity and identity mixed with being raised by Croc does mean that Luffy gets a sense of style! Croc does not allow jorts in his house :( so Croc forms a small crew with Daz (afab went to peachy Island to fight Ivankov for testosterone got a found family is still on the quest for T), Zala (Old Old contact I'm aging her up 20 years because reasons. She knew Croc back when he was still on Whitebeard's ship and is one of the few that doesn't care at all abt the RA), Bon Clay (Croc was hesitant to bring him but he could more than hold his own Croc made sure of that), Drophy (left Amazon Lily because she fell for a man but then she killed him teehee she was on Peachy Island for groceries mostly) and Galdino (his sister's trans and lives on Peachy Island he visits her and her kids sometimes)

They set out, Croc making a massive name for himself mostly by accident (he likes planning things but he can't help being cool) but then the marines strike a deal - if he can remain an active pirate while being targeted by the other warlords for 1 year then they'll give him the warlord title (it was harder to become a warlord back then) so Croc says deal but then secretly gets Garp to pick up his grandson, says in no uncertain terms that if Luffy gets mistreated Garp will never see him again and Garp humors him mostly but still agrees and takes him to Dawn. Meanwhile the hunt begins, the only current warlords are Mihawk, Doflamingo and Moria and Croc manages easily enough by seducing two of them and beating the stuffing out of Moria thrice. He only wanted to keep Luffy away because he didnt trust any of the warlords to not do any research and find his glaring weakness. Also because Garp had been nagging him for years to let him see his grandson (Crocodile doesn't like the seperation, he's very clingy in an Italian way)

So Luffy lands on Dawn, immediately calls Shanks crusty and says he smells like if you soaked a sock in booze, Shanks thinks he's the funniest little guy ever. All the Shanks stuff happens, then Croc comes back for his kid only for Garp to pull a fast one (and by fast one I mean he told Dragon abt Croc and Luffy and Dragon decided to fuck with the groundwork Croc was laying in Alabasta so Garp could hide Luffy better this was not coordinated the Monkey family is just rude) so Croc had to turn right back around to chase Dragon away and Garp threw Luffy up the mountain (Luffy knows his dad's coming back for him but he doesn't know how long it'll take since his dad's only late when something bad happens and he eavesdropped that what his dad was doing was dangerous. Ace asks how Luffy knows his dad isn't dead, Luffy doesn't have an answer)

While Croc is away he finds Robin and takes her in

By the time Croc can get back to Dawn Luffy has 2 brothers and a sister and Croc decides Dragon and Garp keeping him from his kid means he has full rights to take the three new ones also

When he starts Baroque works the kids are called the Wani's (after bananawanis because they're as cute and also as vicious as them to Croc)

[hils79]

Hils Watches Only Friends - Ep 2

Honestly not sure who I'm more envious of. Yo and her boyfriend are both so cute

Is Boston going to be the one who catches feelings? Or maybe he's in love with Top which is why he isn't keen on their relationship

Sand might be my favourite character. He's right! Public confessions/proposals are the worst

Mew has a competence kink. Relatable.

Can't decide if Boston is trying to sabotage their relationship or if he's looking out for Mew because Top is actually a dick.

Unrelated to the plot but I'm amused that whenever I liveblog a GMM drama I always refer to everyone by their actor names at first until I learn their characters. I think I've got the main group sorted in my head now.

Someone really needs to talk to Ray about his drinking problem

Oh, I guess Mew just did

I mean he's not the only one

I will be so amused if all of the usual ships end up with other people. Like Khaotung/Book, Force/Neo, which I guess leaves Mark/First which I don't really see but the others would work.

Oh, excellent, their one female friend is also queer. Love it.

Oh, look, Sand and Nick know each other. Maybe my theory isn't that wild

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ABOUT TO BECOME ROOMMATES

I love Mew. They could have so easily made him this naive romantic who gets swept up by Top's bullshit but he's very clear about what he's getting into and what he wants (or doesn't want)

Oh, sweetie, you're in a drama. Everyone has secrets.

Apparenty selling booze to minors is less of a big deal than selling drugs to minors

Oh my god this is like a fic trope. Actually I did read a fic recently where someone hired someone to be their friend (and obv they later fell in love)

Ah of course Ray has childhood trauma from seeing his mum die

Wow they've been fake friends for like an hour and they're already smiling and laughing together

Oh no is he starting to have feelings already?

Well, I'm not exactly surprised by this development

These two just jerked each other off but when they sat up their underwear was miraculously on and in place

He said the words in english and they still censored the subs. I'm having flashbacks to Kinnporsche when Vegas said fuck in English and subs said fudge.

Are you sure about that? I was just being very asexual and thinking being horny all the time the way Boston is sounds exhausting.

More childhood trauma I see.

If you're going to snuggle anyway to help Top sleep why don't you just use the bed. He's only on the couch because you didn't want to sleep together

Thank you for saying all genders

I do not fine smoking attractive at all but sometimes it's hot when it's on TV

Well that happened way sooner than I was expecting

[skycapt4in]

parsley : describe a holiday your muse enjoys , and why they enjoy it . lavender : how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ? once their trust is broken , how might one go about mending it ? edelweiss : what was the bravest moment in your muse’s life ? are they known to be courageous from then on ?

belladonna : how does your muse respond to silence ? do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?

amaryllis :   what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in ?   how do they express that pride ?

BOTANICAL HEADCANON PROMPTS / @manaborn

parsley : describe a holiday your muse enjoys , and why they enjoy it.

the five year comet on cryon. it's a one night thing, but the people believe it to be the last of their gods swinging by to make sure everyone is still alive and surviving in the never-ending winter before continuing on their search throughout the universe to find some way to restore the planet back to a less cold climate. weirdly the event hasn't been given a name officially, but it's sorta unofficially recognized as raz'nar's visit ( one of noah's adoptive brothers was born on a night where the comet was passing over and was named after it in tribute! ). the way they celebrate is basically by having a huge gathering/party consisting of everyone in the roaming tribe, people bring food, homemade booze.. they all gather around the bonfire to share stories and tell the young ones stories of the old gods and about how one day raz'nar will make cryon better again. anyways, noah likes it because it's.. well he really just likes having parties with his family and their friends. it's the closest he's ever felt to normal and like he's part of everything. not really a holidday i know, but noah doesn't really have an understanding or a want to understand earthly festivities yet. but i'll get him one day.

lavender : how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ? once their trust is broken , how might one go about mending it ?

oh easy, he trusts stupid easily and if you want to find a way to mend that trust after breaking it? you don't. he won't forgive you unless there was a genuinely good reason for doing so. as in, your life was in danger. anything less than that then you'll just be sent on bullshit errands to 'make it up to him.' but it's entirely just so he won't have to deal with you. so don't break his trust because you will not be getting that back. he doesn't do second chances very much these days.

edelweiss : what was the bravest moment in your muse’s life ? are they known to be courageous from then on ?

procuring shi'p. the company and folks who made shi'p worked very closely with the guild and had done for quite some time. stantler used to make all their masks, weapons, shields, ships, etc. they were basically the guild's main supplier for all their tech. they would still be now had they been able to keep themselves afloat after the guild weirdly cut all ties with them after the deaths of a few of their board members, and the team that had built shi'p ( and y'know. killed a bunch of people in order to make shi'p's a.i ) anyways, the reason that was a brave thing for him to do, was that he could've been in a whole new world of pain and trouble, if anyone high up enough in the guild found out about his little act of heroism. because he basically hit the first domino in removing the guild's primary defense supplier from the table. as his luck would have it though, he's on very good terms with the man who runs the guild and.. well, solas is the one person who just did not buy noah's "yeah i have no idea what happened, i was just doing my job and suddenly everyone died *shrug emoji*" story and once confronted and the details were shared, that's when the rest of the dominos fell. for context; in noah's lil universe, taking a living being with thoughts and feelings and y'know, a life, and turning it into a computer program to run and operate a machine is akin to murder, hell, in some corners of the universe it's worse than that. you've basically and literally corrupted a soul. it's so very frowned upon that not even the damned thieves guild, an organization of people who do terrible things, want no part in it. would noah do it again? absolutely. he's just not entirely sure he'd survive it

belladonna : how does your muse respond to silence ? do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?

no <3 he'll go insane if he needs to sit in silence for prolonged periods of time <3 it's why he's got playlists upon playlists saved to his devices.. he can't focus too well if there's no background noise, so shi'p almost always has some music or media playing in the background as noah goes about his day to day life on board, even if he's not paying attention to the screens. he can't even sleep in silence, listening to shi'p's engines and mechanical noises at night is akin to a lullaby for him.

amaryllis :   what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in ?how do they express that pride ?

that would be the young princess ayala of the mezzoan colony, a.k.a, his not-niece and the daughter of his not-wife. ayala has known noah since she was a lil tyke just learning how to walk. he's watched her grow up to be just as sure and firey as her mother. one day, she'll take on the mantle of queen from her mother and rule over the colony, but before she does that, ayala has said time and time again, that she wants to go out and explore the cosmos and stars, she wants to have some adventure in her life before she settles for ruling. noah respects that, and he's been arguing with ravaa for years to just let her. he's even offered to take her out a few times himself, not far and nowhere dangerous obviously, but ravaa is very, very protective of her daughter, understandably and hasn't yet agreed. so it was really not a shock to noah when he got a panicked message one night from ravaa, saying that ayala has disappeared and nobody has any idea where she might have gone. noah dropped everything he was doing to go help in the search and he didn't need to look very far. the kid may have been smart, but she'd managed to get herself stranded on one of mezzao's moons.. nobody is entirely sure how the hell she got clearance to steal one of the royal fleets, but ravaa suspects that she definitely learned it from her uncle. you know. the one notoriously known for being a thief. anyways, he needed to pretend to be mad at ayala for the scare and part of him was, but the majority of him was just.. so very proud of her. but he did tell her to please not to do that again, you scared everyone and your mother is probably tearing the city apart looking for you.

[soft-mafia]

Not Buggy simping for once but I am looking at your oc like the stupid little bisexual that I am and I am looking oh so very respectfully and I am so polite and I am not even trying to steal her away from the captain please captain put me down I did not stare at her bad okay, her bippedy boobedy boobas, her massive ockers on purpose I promise.

But real talk I like her. She cute. Would love to hear more lore if you ever have the energy

HAHAHAHAHA😭Buggy has to deal with people trying to snatch his girl from him 24/7 he’s used to it at this point.

But dw she’s as much as a simp as we are for him❤️(and as Boa is for Luffy😭)

Sorry if this seems really obsessive and is way too long or whatever but It’s so common for me to make so much lore whenever I make an oc specifically to ship with a canon character (I have ideas that could literally be a novel franchise for my Hisoka oc ugh) the tism in me just gets way too ahead of itself tbh and whenever someone is like “ooh tell me about them :D” I literally go crazy.

Veteran one piece fans, please let me know if any of this goes against one piece logic, I’m still really new to the fandom and this is a new oc too, so if I need to change anything/get rid of a piece of lore then please let me know😭

So if you haven’t seen my latest info post on her name is Ivyeri(pronounced Ivory) VanHelsing, she ate the stitch stitch fruit which is a mythical zoan fruit that’s a Frankenstein/Monster type.

This devil fruit her replace her body parts with quite literally anything, she can use whatever she replaces her parts with like it’s apart of her body; she often puts weapons on her body, and into her body as well.

In Impel Down, she lost her leg from severing it to get out of her chains so she had to replace it with the wolf leg.

Whenever Ivy takes off a body part, since it’s not connected anymore her brain can’t control it, so it becomes sentient. Since the parts she can control are determined by if her brain can connect to them or not, this means if her head is completely served her entire body can become sentient as well. Whenever Ivy does this(usually when she’s using her full body weapon suit which I haven’t drawn yet) she keeps her headless body sedated in a tank.

SO, on to her entire story and how she meets Buggy(under the cut if you’re interested bc it’s super long oof) warning for me rambling and on going sentences bc I wrote some of this on my break.

I created a town that she lives in, it’s a really corny name that I don’t feel like saying bc I’m gonna get roasted for it😭but, it’s located on a desolate island, literally nobody knows it even exists and the people who accidentally come across it just leave bc they’re so freaked out. Buggy and his crew see the island in the distance and he thinks “another town to pillage hehe” however, upon arriving there and making a flashy✨ entrance he’s met with the towns people just staring at him with dead glares in their eyes. Buggy and his is obviously freaked out, so he just tells his crew to just stock up on food and booze before getting the hell out of there.

Ivy sees him when he arrives and immediately falls in love, love at first sight. She wants to approach him but is too nervous and thinks her appearance will scare him away(she thinks her stitches make her ugly and grotesque). So Ivy comes up with the idea of moving some signs around to lead Buggy into getting lost in a graveyard. It works and when Buggy is lost in the maze of gravestones, Ivy appears behind him, sitting on a grave and subtly flirting with him, thinking that the heavy fog of the town obscures her appearance.

Buggy can clearly see her, but he has seen crazier people in his time of being a pirate so Ivy’s stitches don’t even register in his head bc he’s too busy panicking over getting lost in a graveyard and now some lady is talking to him?

They talk, flirt with each other, Buggy obviously letting her inflate his massive ego, Ivy offers to lead him out of the graveyard(even though she’s the one who led him there in the first place). Ivy leads Buggy back to his crew. One of the pirates accidentally bumps into her and she face plants right into Buggy’s chest and they have this “ooo accidentally falling right into your crush’s arms🥰” moment before it’s ruined by her wrist coming off and holding onto Buggy’s shirt when she pulls away. They’re both freaking out, Ivy apologizing profusely while trying to take her hand back.

Buggy screamed only for a moment before being like “This girl can take her body parts off too?!” And he falls in love and (politely)demands her to join his crew(not because he wants to bang her immediately or anything..) after that they’ve been together for 8 years🥰

She doesn’t really have a prevalent role in the orangetown arc, however she does take control of Buggy’s crew after he’s bazooka-ed to a whole other island.

While Buggy was presumably pronounced dead by his crew, Ivy strayed away from them to mourn by herself, which meant she didn’t get kidnapped by the cannibal tribe(she didn’t care about Buggy’s crew at that point since she thought he was dead) however, when Buggy came back with Alvida, Ivy was even more heartbroken than she was when she thought he was dead.

K so I kind of ripped off one of my own fan fictions with this part of her story, I just thought it would’ve been good character development for her so if you want the basics of what happens, here’s the fic.

Ivy breaks up with Buggy bc she thinks he’s cheated on her, or is going to cheat bc Alvida is literally gorgeous. After that, she leaves the Big Top and devises a plan to make a name for herself and become a fearsome solo pirate just to make Buggy jealous and show him that she’s doing just fine without him.

Overtime she becomes extremely brooding and even more colder than before; each one of her accomplishments are fueled by anger and jealousy. Over time she convinced herself that Buggy had forgotten about her and moved on with Alvida which fueled her to succeed even more.

Which, she did succeed, but she got way more than she wanted to. After an accidental conflict with the marines, she ended up getting a Impel Down level 5 worthy bounty.

Buggy and Ivy don’t directly interact much during Impel Down and Marineford bc both of them think that the other hates them/forgot about them, but when they do reunite they start this dynamic where the two of them are trying to look cool/badass just to get the other’s attention(Also, Ivy’s severed leg I mentioned earlier, it somehow found Buggy on level 2 and he’s been keeping it from her the entire time).

The entire time, Buggy didn’t know why Ivy broke up with him, he thought that she broke up with him bc of his “ugly red nose” and cried for months. Everything reminded him of Ivy. He hoarded all of her old clothes that she left behind and used one of her old tops as a pillow case.

They finally get back together during the cross guild, Ivy joins alongside Crocodile and Mihawk. When she sees the way that the two men beat and abuse him over everything she gets pissed off and vows to protect Buggy at all costs, leading to them having a heart to heart, finally talking things out and getting back together again.

I have more lore with her but it involves other ocs I’ve made for one piece and it doesn’t really add to her relationship with Buggy loool

I have another oc I’m not sure about adding to her lore since idk if this is already an existing character in One Piece bc he’s vaguely mentioned in canon, but Davy Jones is her father and had the same fruit as her when he was alive. They’ve never met.(This is an excuse for me to make a goth dilf)

More facts about her!

-Ivy is a weaponsmith, she makes weapons for herself and Buggy’s crew(when she was apart of it)

-She’s 5’9, 27 years old before the timeskip and 29 years old after

-Ivy likes collecting bones.

-Ivy has a pet cat named Princess who was Richie’s biggest opp. Before the time skip he was the same size as a regular house cat, but currently he’s the size of a Liger.

-She stole Alvida’s old ship when she left the Big Top and customized it to fit her vibe

-She stole a manticore from Impel Down, adopted it, and named it Buggy Jr.

-She also adopted a giant frog and named it after Buggy as well

-A week after the breakup Ivy tried to make a replacement Buggy by digging up a recently deceased guy and playing Frankenstein(using a toy ball as a replacement nose). Things didn’t work out when the guy regained his memory and reunited with his wife.

-As a pirate, people call her by her last name. No relation to the actual Van Helsing though I just thought the name sounded cool.

Her playlist:

[hughiecampbelle]

Heyy! Congratulations on 10K!!! ^_^

I would love to be shipped with someone from Gen V! (Just not Sam or Cate)

Okay so, my name is Maria. I have no label whatsoever so i’m fine with honestly anyone! For my looks i’m 5’4 and i’m a natural redhead, my hair mostly leans toward Auburn honestly? It’s kinda brownish! I have light brown doe eyes that i pair with cat eye lash extensions. My hair goes till my chest so it’s pretty long and for my body i do have a kind of hourglass form? Kinda is inbetween pear shape or hourglass even i don’t know lol! I’m kind of on the skinny side but i’m fuller in the thigh/butt area. My style contains of mostly fold over leggings and pink knitten sets, i love wearing navy blue things too but if you could describe my style it would definitely be a kind of early 2000’s or mid 2000’s style? The colours i wear most are black white pink and navy blue! Type of people i typically date/like is ehh depends honestly, if i find someone attractive i find them attractive but black hair and blondes definitely catch my eye the most. My personality is like, you could say i’m bubbly! I do really like talking with people but i do have that bubbly personality only really reserved for my friends, when someone doesn’t know me i’m more kept to myself but i will still love to talk to them, the only thing about me is i have a really bad short temper and i could be rude at times, like really sarcastic to the point someone just finds it rude. My favourite things about myself are the way i do my makeup and my hair! My interest’s are just watching shows and movies and playing story games. My favourite movies are definitely ‘How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days’ and the Scream franchise! My favourite places definitely have to be café’s and restaurants, i love going to them with my friends! My biggest pet peeve is definitely someone that can’t take a hint, or when someone snores WAY to loud for my liking and when my makeup decides to act shitty that day </3

I hope this was enough, thank you so much anyway!💗

Emma loves how long your hair is! She's constantly playing with it, braiding it. Because she prefers hers short, there's a lot less she can do with it. When you're going out, she takes forever to do yours, but it always ends up beautiful

Your bubbly personality is what gets her attention. So far, God U has been like one massive competition filled with mean girls. She gets royally scwered over and is looking for someone just as bubbly and silly as her

Whenever she sees something small like a trinket or stuffed animal that's navy blue she immediately thinks of you and gets it for you. You have a little shelf of navy blue things because of her

Your first date is to a cafe where she accidentally orders an espresso off the fancy, makes no sense menu and is bouncing off the walls, talking a mile a minute. It becomes a joke in your relationship not to order the espresso

Emma LOVES scary movies and will watch the entire Scream franchise with you in a major snack filled, booze filled, binge weekend. She ends up falling asleep for the good parts, but you have so much fun it's really no big deal

- Hope you like it my love!!! Xoxoxo💜💜💜

[luneevenfall]

OC BIRTHDAY, MORAG!

Art by me

Say hi to my nonbinary lesbian pirate, Morag! (she/they) Their name is a Xenoblade reference, but actually I picked it bcuz it is a name that means "star of the sea". Literally can't get more fitting :D

Morag is a pirate as stated, but only insofar as she can get booze and women. She's a bottomless pit for alcohol.

Essentially her backstory is that she lost her original crew to (insert redacted disaster) and was alone for a while.

Because she had a lot of enemies as a wanted pirate, many people came for her throat; mostly women, because of her known fondness for them (lol).

For reasons unknown (or perhaps sheer luck) she never died, instead inviting her would-be assassins to join her on the seas; and most of them agreed.

This includes Melia(haha Xenboblade reference go brr), a sea nymph in disguise who sneaks onto her ship to kill her. However, unlike the rest of the women who have tried, Melia knows what Morag's deal is - she is protected by the sea gods, and Melia is in this to kill them out of spite.

Their story is basically slapstick comedy antics of Melia's many failed assassination attemps as Morag, who is dumb as a door, has no idea what's going on.

NEXT BERFDAY: AUGUST 5TH

[starlightsmoon]

[Read at Ao3]

List of poor souls he’s gonna suck some money out of? Check. Excuses of being from some relative of the Toghrul that hit it off with their bird rearing business? Check, he’ll be able to recite the lines in his sleep. Clothes? Simple black shirt that took half of his savings - Oh how he sacrificed for the minimalistic rich aesthetic - He looks like those guys who’d get those mova globes as a toy when he was five. (He had sticks, pieces of glass he called crystal and a pet rock.)

He didn't have it in him to feel bitter about that anymore though. He slurped on way too many pumpkin spice lattes for that.

The birdbrain he’s gonna be swiping from might never have had it before. Gotta pity them for never having a sugar bomb corporate cash grab.

Oh he almost forgot, hair? Looks fancy enough to him. Giving the bristles another swipe in front of the hand mirror dangling from his apartment door and swiping the keys from his beloved plant soldier, Nuggets. 

-

His mark looks as tired and anxious as always, swirling - well, trying to. Obi still can’t believe the guy has a gold bar as a door stopper - the vodka in his hand and though it kinda turns into more of a disturbance to the liquid relief in the cup.

“Hey there.” What was his name again? Oh well, it’ll slide off his tongue eventually. 

The man had been a loser who was probably a bit more into feet than he should be, and had been dabbling in drugs that Obi doubts the guy can actually live after intaking. He’s drank quite a couple of drinks with him for the past months. Hell, the man has made Tuesday be labeled as ‘drinking for the money’ day in his calendar - He kinda admits, even with his totally admirable work ethics, that he loathes Tuesdays now - to his dismay, Torou said she’d love to take it over from him if he didn’t want it. And though he really doesn’t wanna hear any more mommy issues and glorification of drug addiction, he’ll get through it.

“Oh hello Nanaki.” 

He was surprised when Mr. Foot Stuff actually was sober enough to remember his name, but today was special so he’ll give him some props, he normally dialed him when he was down to half a brain and third of manners and a non-existent filter about how much chipped toenails have a charm.

Obi gets seated in the stool next to him - lets the man order fucking champagne for him without his input - and puts his honey filter on. He normally gets lazy with this guy but he’ll have to be on high alert, can’t let him get any second thoughts after all.

“So regarding what we talked about-”

-

-God he’s got the sweetest deal of the century, he’s gonna be ordering those fancy ass kaleidoscopes just you wait.

-

If he survives this, he’s gonna buy Torou a ticket that shitty boy band concert and he’ll make it so that she cries for it. Hell, he’ll even buy Haruka one of those tacky you’re the best dad mugs too. Of course unless he gives him a lecture and attitude then that is gonna be replaced with a your the best dad mug instead.

Not that he doesn’t deserve the attitude though.

But can you blame him? The guy seemed like the best catch he was gonna get there, and cherry on top being that he was gonna get it by just sipping booze. He wasn’t wrong either, just that conning his dad’s company while he was at it didn’t seem like a bad idea.

Who knew that old fuck was running a human trafficking business. 

He didn’t at the least. But now Obi finally got the biggest con of his life, with a boatload of money that he’s shipping to Wistal for it to be Haruka’s problem and taking the railways to wherever his heart takes him cause he has no fucking clue what he paid for at the ticket stand.

But the redhead that’s his roommate seems nice, though it’d be nicer if he could stop looking at her,

-

She’s got a lotta luggage, and she’s so careful with it.

It makes his one duffle bag packed with some clothes and a toothbrush look quite sad in comparison. He regrets selling off the suitcase. It’d make a statement and he would be able to disguise himself as a rich conglomerate, even if he doesn’t have his extra shiny shoes and rocking a plain button-up and jeans, he’d be able to make it work- he’s done it in worse before. Wait, did he pack any shoes at all? 

“Hello.” a meek voice breaks his thoughts, and he can worry about being shoeless later.

“Uhm, is there any issue if I put some of these,” she gestures to her four suitcases and plus one tote bag he can see peeking out from the one plastered with stickers of flowers and beach umbrellas ”On your space?” She points to the tray above him that’s a bit too close to his head for comfort, he’s nearly smacked his head on the damn thing four times already. Thankfully his lightning quick reflexes and prowess triumphs the future bump on his head he’s definitely gonna be dealing with.

She’s already attacking her bottom lip and clutching at her sweater. He’d be a monster if he said no.

“Sure but you gotta tell me one thing,“ he really doesn’t need the space, his luggage was acting as his foot rest just until she arrived. It really didn’t need his permission anyways.

Unluckily for her, he may not have been a monster but he sure is something close to it.

“Do you think a hotdog is a sandwich?”

And judging by the way she tilts her head, furrows her brows and stops her abuse on her lips; He’s gonna be having a fun time.

-

He has confirmed she’s not a psychopath, and surprisingly seems to not want to murder him and throw him out the window for more room to put her suitcases in. Yet. 

And it seems like his ticket and the place she’s headed to have the same spelling, which means he can actually thank himself for once, a pretty lady on his trip to become a nobody doesn’t seem so bad.

 “So, my name is Shirayuki, I’m a botanist, and I really appreciated the help.” he’s sure that lugging around some suitcases was not worth the smile bestowed upon him, - It’s way too trustful for somebody like him - but he’ll have a cute face smile at him anyday.

“Well Miss, you can call me Obi, I’m a guy with many secrets,” Obi earns a giggle that he’s sure that’ll haunt his dreams. 

“And no problem, though I admit I mourn the sight of you struggling to hop around with suitcases.” and before he knows it, his hand reaches out for a shake. He should probably get rid of that-

She clasps his hand, “Nice to meet you Obi.” and suddenly, all words die in his throat.

Her hands are soft.

He struggles not to whimper as the words leave with his tongue without permission, “Nice to meet you too, Miss.”

And her laugh is way too pretty.

[hallownoxie]

Chapter 1

Loguetown

Long ago the world had waited with baited breath when the fearsome King of the Pirates Gold Roger was executed within Loguetown.

His last words had been confirming about his treasure the One Piece left on an island within the Grand Line. It began an era of piracy through the world as they sailed to the Grandline.

With it a storm of chaos and cruelty took over, villages saved or razed to the ground, you never knew which ship would be a decent crew or black hearted monsters.

"The world is littered with people that can kill you."

Music played throughout the bar, the food tasted wonderful from where she sat at her lone table by the open window. A small yellow canary landed on the threshold, chirping out its cheerful song.

The woman smiled at the tiny animal that she was named after, a fight had broken out closer to the middle of the room disrupting her peace.

It was a common occurrence she found at any place selling booze, men of all different backgrounds walking in to drink their stress or worries away. At times it gave away possible brawls to unleash violence upon someone you wished was a different person, whether a boss or rude customer.

With her training she would be able to knock both rowdy men down with a well timed kick for daring to break the peace, but that wasn't her assignment.

Canary was supposed to be one with the background, hiding and witnessing any events her Superior's wished to know about.

Never to be in the spotlight.

After the two were dealt with by some good folks, she silently paid for her food and slipped out into the sunny day. Her pursed lips began to whistle as she walked down the street.

"Hey excuse me, where can I find the execution platform?" A voice asked and her eyes turned to meet dark grey.

Lithe built, dark short hair, red shirt and blue shorts. The notable features being the straw hat on his head and the scar under the boy's left eye.

Canary offered him a pleasant smile after assessing him.

"It's only a street down, take a left at the apple cart and you'll be at the square." She offered and watched as he grinned.

"Got it, thanks!" He said, running past Canary.

It took her a while to gather any type of noteworthy information, even more so when the slums of Loguetown tried to intimidate her.

A normal response she supposed, considering this was her first mission around here, it was natural for them to sniff at 'new' blood.

Dozens of men and women wanted to use her for anything and get paid next to nothing, free labor.

Canary would have to thank her mentor when she saw him next time, it was only by his teaching she was competent.

Even if it was harsh and a few times he had to dump her on her own to gain any semblance of experience.

"Monkey D Dragon is in town." One man whispered into her ear, Canary's eyes widened at that.

Why was the leader of the revolutionary army here?

Within the last few years Canary had never heard of any movements from the man, a warm shiver ran up her spine.

This was big intel.

"Why?" She asked, digging the heel of her boot into his thigh.

"N-no idea! All I heard was that he's in town!" The man stuttered, the rank scent of BO became intense.

"You're lying, I can tell by your scent." She leaned her full weight on her heel.

"He has a son!" The man spat out.

Now that was better, she leaned back to let up on him and looked off in the distance in deep thought.

Could this information be true? There were too many variables that could contradict that, Dragon having a son would reveal a weakness.

A weakness his enemies would exploit, there was no sour scent when the man spoke so it had to be true.

How would this information even get leaked?

Canary continued on her way after dealing with the man, it took her a while to even be able to pinpoint Dragon.

As expected since Dragon was avoiding the government, he even perhaps knew she was on his tail.

All she needed was to confirm he was here with her very own eyes. Her photographic memory held enough credit during her long years of training.

Dragon may have years of experience, but Canary was persistent and eventually like all humans… he would make one small slip up.

That slip of course happened as it stormed on Loguetown, she witnessed the man intervening with Captain Smoker.

Both men hovering over a boy with a straw hat on his head, she recognized him from earlier when he had asked for directions.

---

After the fight the girl pouted when all her hard work disappeared within an hour after Dragon slipped away.

Her attention went towards the green haired man with cat like features as he waved at her from his simple ship.

Without any actual proof or confirmation the information about Dragon having a son might as well be useless to her.

Canary at least had a few names for her superiors about who might enter the grandline and that Dragon was sighted in Loguetown.

For now she boarded her new friend's ship and settled down, Bartholomeo was optimistic at least as they sailed off.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the island she requested, it had been a few hours since she dropped off the paperwork for her Superior.

Currently she was sulking in a cup of ice tea as the green haired man gazed from across the table.

"Say Canary, what's got you so down?" He asked while tilting his head.

"I had a possible result that could have been a perfect scoop for my mission as a reporter but sadly I didn't have any concrete evidence." She lightly fibbed.

"Awe but wasn't this also your first gig? You still did great!" The man said.

"It's not my first gig but thank you Bartie " She responded.

Her mentor would say otherwise, even after years of training Canary knew how green she truly was. The cramping in her stomach made whatever appetite she had disappear and she paid no mind to her pastry.

Her drink had enough sugar, she'll be fine for a few hours.

"Look at it this way, Mr. Luffy would say to never get stuck in the past!" Bartholomeo said in earnest.

Cute…

Canary giggled a bit in her drink.

"You always know what to say eh?" She asked, making him blush and huff in pride.

"I gotta if I'm gonna spread Mr. Luffy's greatness throughout the world!" Bartie said while crossing his arms.

"Mr. Luffy huh? Maybe one day he will become someone famous." Canary said.

"Where will you head next?" Bartholomeo asked.

"My next place is Whiskey Peak." She said.

Wanting more?

Check out more on ao3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44415214/chapters/111712612

[gay-little-treat-wizard]

Elrya: The New World By T. A. Onkọwe (Me)

8 - Ariṣe

Ari's crew docked of the coast of Nwe'Simbata[1] and lowered the gangplank. Almost immediately, their ship was quickly boarded by merchants, eager to trade for more goods or coins. Soon the deck was picked clean, and each crew member's wallets were full. Ari sighed; glad the journey was even more profitable. Despite Zik's assurances, the Priestess had been remarkably good at tempting their crew to mutiny. Thankfully, they wouldn't have to worry about future discontent as the Priests were to disembark at noon.

"Your crew seems to be very happy with their newest haul." Olarya shuffled next to Ari's spot overlooking their crew. "Imagine the wealth you could gain at Comraich Kyst. I hear they even sell fine Sh'tàiyán spider silk, enough to outfit your whole crew. Or Greci pickled olives. Those taste great when paired with Meyni spiced agave wine. I've had it once, it goes down like fire a-"

"Don't tempt me with the idea of profit and booze." Ari turned to face the priestess. She was leaning against Ari's captain chair, eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Oh, I would never do such a thing." She answered innocently. "But if I was... Is it working? Hypothetically speaking."

"Nope."

"You can't blame me for trying." She shrugged.

Olarya was about to respond but was drowned out by the noise of something heavy hitting the deck. Their sailors were rolling several barrels of palm wine out of the hull and began to feel their wine horns. Zik plucked the strings of his akonting while Niyilolawa joined him on their talking drum. The scent of palm wine gave Ari an idea.

"Honestly Priestess, I don't think you'd be able to handle my crew for much longer," Ari said as the music below got louder.

"Really? How so?"

"Once most of our work is done and we've sold off our goods, we can get pretty raucous." Ari winked at the Priestess. "I don't think a woman of the cloth could really handle it"

"I'm sure I can handle it," She hmphed, folding her hands and pouting.

"I bet anyone of my crew could drink you priests under the table." They learned in, leering with a shark grin. "I bet I could drink you under the table."

"Is that a challenge?" Olarya's eyebrow rose.

Ari shrugged. "Maybe."

"What's in it for me?"

"Name your price."

She paused for a moment; Ari could see the gears whirling in her head. If they'd played their cards right, Olarya would take the bait. "If I win, you come with us to Comraich Kyst and join the expedition."

"And when you lose?"

"If I lose, I'll stop trying to convince you."

"Deal." Ari offered their hand. "Don't say I didn't warn you Priestess."

Olarya ignored their hand at first. "Don't worry about me. I just need to know you'll keep your word."

Ari anticipated this, but quickly moved to reassure her. "I swear it on my honour and on Tian themself."

Tian was the god of justice and truth, as a demigod and priest, they kept particular watch on any vows they made on their name, promising swift retribution if the promise was broken. The priestess grabbed their hand with little hesitation after that, trying her best to squeeze in a way Ari guessed was supposed to be intimidating. With how tiny her hand was, it's almost comical.

Ari chuckled as she dropped their hand; The pair began to descend to the quarter deck and joined the revelry. They announced their intentions to Niyilolawa who mutely nodded and began to tap out an announcement on their talking drum, letting the whole crew know a challenge was placed. Someone else rolled another barrel of palm wine onto the deck and yet another dragged a table and two chairs to the centre of the deck. Zik poured the first two tankards.

"First to twenty wins," He announced as Niyilolawa+ began to drum along. "Three, two one... drink!"

Ari slammed down their tankard and grabbed the next one Zik had already filled up. They finished that too and grabbed their third as the priestess just barely managed to shakingly lift the tankard to her lips. Ari smirked. They 'd drink the priestess under the table in no time. For the first ten drinks, that proved true, but soon Olarya began to catch up.

"...fifteen." Zik announced.

Ari roughly gulped their drink down in surprise. They were on their fourteenth drink. Somehow, Olarya had started to outpace them, like a turtle outpacing a hare, while still looking as prim as when she started.

On their nineteenth drink, Ari's vision started to blur, and their head was cloudy. They couldn't let up though, Olarya and them were neck and neck. They quickly downed their drink and their next, but it was too late Olarya had already reached twenty.

"I win." The priestess grinned smugly.

A cheer went up from the crew as Ari slumped in their chair, delirious. They had underestimated the Priestess. Somehow, the little bird had outdrank them. Thankfully, their metabolism would burn through their drunkenness soon, leaving them sober to ponder their terrible decisions. Eventually, after a few moments slumped over the table, Ari begrudgingly joined the revelry.

If my trip was to be extended, I might as well have fun.

The priestess was on the deck above, still drinking as she spoke to another priest and overlooked the celebration below.

She smugly lifted her drink to Ari as they approached.

"Still drinking?" Ari asked, they noticed out of the corner of their eye the priest she was speaking with back away to the quarter deck.

"Ah, yes of course, the party's still going. You should join us." She answered, holding back a shit-eating grin.

Ari's stomach turned at the thought of alcohol. "Maybe later."

"Ah, I see someone's still recovering," She teased.

Ari shook their heads. "How does a light weight like you even hold her drink?"

"Practice. The church holds vast amounts of ceremonial wine, priests are terrible at securing it and teenagers are great at getting into things they shouldn't."

Ari couldn't help but laugh. "You were a troublemaker?"

"Not exactly. I was just... curious." Olarya shrugged.

"You've been in the priesthood since you were a teenager?"

"Since I was a child. It's what I've always wanted to do and what I plan to do for the rest of my life." Olarya smiled softly to herself. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Ari asked, confused. They weren't much for work in the church.

"What do you want to do, later in life, when you're too old for sailing?"

Ari paused, thinking. They weren't one to dream so far ahead, still used to fighting to live day by day. Finally, they answered. "I'll settle down in my hometown; buy an inn with my savings."

"We could make that easier, you know, help you settle down."

"No need to keep offering Priestess, you've already outdrank me." Ari chuckled. "I intend to keep my word."

"I know, but it can't hurt to sweeten the deal." Olarya giggled into her cup, a little wine dribbled down her plump lower lip.

Without much thinking, Ari whipped away the drop of alcohol, pausing the priestess' words. 

She's remarkably beautiful, up close. Olarya's features were delicate like the rest of her, as if she'd been moulded from porcelain. Her silver eyes caught and reflected the moon's light back. They'd already committed themselves to going to Comraich, so Ari felt free to properly notice without fearing temptation.

Their hand migrated to the priestess' chin, tilting her face up to study her better. Olarya leaned into her touch, eye's fluttering closed.

"I.." Olarya began but trailed off as she met Ari's eyes.

"Do you really want to sweeten the deal?" Ari teased, voice low and husky as they lowered their face to meet Olarya's.

"Yes," She breathed out, eyes still closed as their lips met.

Ari woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming onto their face from the porthole. They were in their cabin, undressed, curled up next to them, silver curls splayed out haphazardly, was the priestess. After a moment of surprise, the events of the night before flooded back to her. They looked at Olarya's sleeping form, then at themself, then the state of her cabin. They had a feeling this was going to be a long two months.

[1] Scrambled version of the Igbo words ‘Nwefe osimiri mbata’, meaning Cowrie ocean gate.

A.N- @sewi-li-suwi, @sinharder, @reiki-tsubetai @concoctionboy and @hummbirb if you're interested. Let me know if you don't want to be @'ed.

[etmgpa]

Let's see if I understand correctly ...

The big deal about the Dec. 1 availability in the US is because this is the first time the whisky would be on the shelf, physically available for purchase, vs ordering/shipping via Reserve Bar or whoever. And, yes, it took me a while to put this together because:

I really didn't pay close attention 😁 and, mostly since I live in a state (Pennsylvania) with draconian liquor laws/regulations I am unable to have it delivered to me. (FYI several states in the US have similar restrictions). And the chances of seeing any Sassanach Spirits on the shelf are probably slim to none since we have a state-controlled liquor store system, vs Total Wine type stores for purchase.

I like a good whisky sour and have been known to have an old fashioned now and then. But honestly, I'm a beer drinker. Then wine. I don't dislike spirits, just not my go to adult beverage. And no matter how curious I would be to try the Sassanach, I would not purchase it without being able to sample first, especially with a price point of over $100 US! (b-t-w, you can substitute any name of booze for SS, my statement remains. I want to know that I will like it, really like it, before spending that much).

NY sold out of all 400 bottles ... so patrons are back to ordering online. Unless it can be restocked in a timely manner. Assuming Miami will be a wash-rinse-repeat. But will it be available at other TW locations? Were NY and Miami just test markets to see if it would sell? And if so, what could they be learning that they didn't already know:

Fans will flock to these locations to buy the booze because they can have their name and his signature written on the neck of the bottle,

Fans will flock to these locations to stand next to SAMMF (yes, I deliberately combined the initials of the real person with the fictional character, because, well, haven't some of them already done so?) and

Fans will flock to these locations to have a selfie taken. And of course, post it on sm praising him and his product to high heavens.

And before anyone says it, yes, I know that every product/service out there has a "customer base" or "regulars." However, if you want to sustain or grow, you need to bring new customers into the fold. You can't keep picking the same pockets over and over again.

[expression-of-doubt]

prologue.mp3

Man, you look like you’ve had a hell of a night. You get any sleep?

Kinda. I went down this rabbit hole at like three in the morning – bad idea. Anyway, I’m here now, so might as well get done with it.

You spent the whole night reading some dumb shit on the internet?

Nah, it was about this woman. Real mean kinda bitch. Had a pretty rough life… or something like that.

Man, you really need to get laid. Less reading about them and more talking to them, alright?

...

Why are you wincing at me, man? You know I’m looking out for you! Besides, what’s so special about your girlfriend? She got a number?

Yeah, if you like women with a body count.

Shit, what kinda whores you be reading about, man? You looking for a woman with experience? There’s plenty of fish in the sea for you to be fishing upstream.

No, I meant like an actual body count.

I always knew you was into crazy. Though now I’m starting to get interested. What this crazy bitch do? How much time she doing?

Never caught her, apparently. I haven’t really gotten to the end of it, but she was out for revenge on some old guy, who really messed with her head. Ended up doing some fucked up shit and killed a couple dozen people to get to the fucker and get him to look her in the eyes.

Sounds like just about any woman I know. If she’s such a big deal, then how come I’ve never heard of any of this on TV?

Website said it was in one of them eastern bloc countries. No info coming in or out, ya know? Tight ship. Press kept quiet about the whole thing just so that they could save face. Ended up brushing the whole thing under the rug.

Hold on, hold on… some true-crime-ass bitch shows up and starts murdering people left, right, and centre, and all they do over there is tough it out with their tail between their legs? What kind of stupid, made up, conspiracy theories are you reading, man? Eastern bloc, my ass… Those fuckers would fuck her up and not think twice about it.

If you won’t take it from me, here, see for yourself: https://www.thebackgroundworld.net/cases/poison-ivy.html

Nah, man. I ain’t about to be getting no malware from no cyber cult or whatever you’re into. She’s all yours! Sounds just like your type too – crazy and 100% fictional.

You’re the one that asked. Suit yourself.

Man, shut up and show me where you hid the stuff. You did do what I asked you to, right?

Yeah, they’re in the back of the car under the spare tyre. Here’s the keys. There’s also one in the glovebox in case some shit happens on the way there.

Alright! Now we’re talkin’!

This better not come back to bite me in the ass.

Man, when we flip this shit, you ain’t gotta worry about nothing no more. You can buy yourself a bunker somewhere out there in the Midwest and fuck around with your psychopathic commie girlfriend as much as you like. Meanwhile, I’ll be living large down south with supermodels and that top shelf kinda booze you can only order when you have a pool with name tiled on the bottom of it.

Just get out of here before I change my mind.

“Why yes Mr. Sumner, would you like more champagne? Certainly, Mr. Sumner, I’ll go fetch it now!” Phahahaha!

That car better come back in once piece when you get back – it was my dad’s. It’s a lease.

You worry too much, man. I’mma head out. Beat the traffic. Better take a good look at me while you can, cuz next time you see me, I’ll be looking like a million bucks!

Yeah, I bet.

...

He just left. Headed north – north-west. We got all of that on tape, right?

You bet. We’re waiting for him a couple of miles down. Good work.