#their interactions were my favorite in the book

[ynanville]

Caught // Suguru Geto

ᯓ content. Suguru Geto walked in on you while you were reading a smut book, instead of him getting mad he had an idea. He had you laid down with your legs spread fingering you while you read the book.

warnings. mdni, manhandling, fingering, overstimulation, dirty talk, praising.

pairing. Dom!sugurux Sub!reader

word count. 235

You were curled up in your favorite reading nook, deep into a particularly spicy novel that had you flushed and caught up in a whirlwind of emotion. The characters’ heated exchanges and passionate encounters made it hard to concentrate. You bit your lip, your heart pounding as you turned the page, completely absorbed in the unfolding storyline.

Unbeknownst to you, Suguru Geto had just stepped into the room, his usual calm demeanor shifting into something more primal at the sight of you. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, observing you with a smirk playing on his lips. The way you were so engrossed in your book, clearly affected by the words on the page, stirred something deep within him.

"What’s got you so captivated?" he asked, his voice smooth and teasing.

You jumped slightly, not realizing he was there. Closing the book with a snap, you shot him a playful glare, heat creeping up your cheeks. "Nothing, just reading," you replied, trying to play it cool despite the embarrassment of being caught.

Suguru stepped closer, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Just reading, huh? That must be quite the book to have you so flustered.”

Curiosity piqued, he reached for the book, but you held it closer to your chest, a small smile breaking through your faux annoyance. "You know I’m reading it for a reason," you teased back, enjoying the banter.

With a swift motion, Suguru grabbed the book from your hands, a predatory grin spreading across his face as he glanced at the cover. “Smut book, huh? Let’s see what all the fuss is about."

Before you could respond, he tossed the book aside and leaned down, gripping your chin to tilt your head up. His gaze was intense, scrutinizing, but filled with playful hunger. “You know, I think it’s time we made this a little more… interactive.”

Your breath hitched as he lowered himself closer, his lips brushing against yours before he captured them in a heated kiss. The surprise of his sudden boldness sent a shiver down your spine, and you found yourself melting against him.

Suguru pulled back just enough to whisper in your ear, his voice low and commanding, “Let’s see just how well you can focus on your book while I take you apart.”

His hands traveled down your body, gripping your waist and pulling you up against him. You could feel the heat radiating from him, and your heart raced in anticipation. “But if you want to keep reading,” he continued, “you’ll have to keep quiet for me.”

With that, he lifted you effortlessly and carried you to the bed, laying you down before hovering over you. He leaned in, pressing his body against yours, and you could feel his hardened cock against your thigh.

“Now, let’s see just how good you are at multitasking,” he murmured with a smirk, reaching for your book again and holding it above your head.

Suguru’s hands wandered, as his hands reached under your shirt gropping at your soft breast as you opened the book, your heart racing as you tried to focus on the words as he teased you. He slowly began to kiss and bite down your neck, his other hand sliding into your shorts teasing at you're clothed pussy.

You struggled to maintain your composure, mind racing between the hot scenes in your book and the pleasure Suguru was inflicting on you. Every kiss, every touch distracted you, making it hard to concentrate. But the thrill of the game and the binding words made you squirm beneath him.

“Remember,” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear, “if you want to finish that book, you have to do it while I have my way with you.”

With that, he stuffs his fingers inside you, moving at a gentle yet rough pace. each thrust paired with soft hums against your skin. You put the book down focusing you're attention to Suguru as he quickly pulls his fingers out. You whine as the lost feeling as Suguru smiles at you.

"Pick you're book back up darling— i know you can handle this you're a big girl. You nod as you obey and his pace goes faster then the first time. Your heart raced as he pushed you closer to the edge, the mixture of sensations flooding your senses.

You barely managed to focus on the pages in front of you, but the thrill of having him there, both commanding and indulgent, made everything else fade away. You surrendered, giving yourself over completely to the moment, knowing Suguru would take care of everything else. You cum all over his fingers as he pulls them out and licks on them sucking your juices. "That was fun wasn't it darling?—" he says smiling at you before placing a kiss on you're forehead.

[0798f]

🎇 — Lily of the Valley

RELATIONSHIP: Sunday x Reader

SUMMARY: Your favorite flower catches Sunday's eye.

A/N: The final fic for the Hanami event! I really hope everyone enjoyed a week of daily fics, I really enjoyed writing them!

Adjusting to life on the Astral Express wasn’t as difficult as Sunday expected it to be. Don’t be mistaken— the feeling of being an awkward bystander lingered no matter how many days passed. But the Astral Express crew were a friendly and welcoming bunch, and they were working hard to make Sunday feel at home.

One crew member especially excelled at building rapport with Sunday. To an unexpected level.

“Hey, Sunday? Are you busy?” (Name) leaned over the back of the chair Sunday had made his nest. Their cheek brushed against his wings, which he pulled towards his face to avoid whacking them with an excited flutter.

Sunday put his book down, marking the page with a (Name)’s handcrafted bookmark. They gifted it to him when he first boarded the Express, beaming about how it looked like a ticket. “I know you’re not planning to stay long, but if you change your mind, you already have a ticket!”

And (Name) continued to be just as warm and friendly everyday. To say Sunday was charmed would be an understatement— he looked forward to his interactions with (Name) every day, to the point where he would pout in his seat when (Name) would greet but walk past him. 

“I’m not busy,” Sunday replied. “What do you need?”

He tilted his head towards (Name), trying to be calm about the few centimeters between them. When Sunday moved back, (Name) moved forward. “Well… This time of year is spring on my home planet, and I felt a little homesick. I got some plants, but I need some help setting them up. The conductor mentioned you had a green thumb!”

Sunday let out a humble laugh. “Green thumb is a strong title… I simply like to keep plants alive.” He used to help take care of the Family gardens when he was a child and took great pride in his work, but saying that out loud felt like a bit too much. “I’d be glad to help.”

(Name) had a smile that lit up the room and it was incredibly blinding up close. ”Thank you so much! Let’s go!”

He didn’t need (Name) to guide him to their cabin, but when they insisted by pulling his arm the entire way, Sunday had no heart to refuse. Sunday nearly tripped upon entering their room; a mess of open boxes and grow lights littered the floor, strewn about from when (Name) gave up and decided to ask Sunday for his help.

Leaves stuck out of one of the open boxes. Sunday kneeled down to inspect the plants (Name) had picked out. For the most part, they were typical house plants— those on the planet of festivities cared little about the greenery, but Sunday paid pristine attention to the planters around the dreamscape and the Reverie. So he recognized the pothos, the anthurium, and the orchid. But smaller flowers amongst the leaves caught Sunday’s attention.

“A lily of the valley?” Sunday picked up the white flower’s planter to admire it. It was in pristine, beautiful condition after surviving the trip to the Express without harm. 

(Name)’s eyes widened as they kneeled down next to Sunday. “You recognize it?”

“Yes, they also grow in Penacony.” A memory with blurred edges surged to the forefront of Sunday’s mind. He sat in a Family garden with Robin and they poured over a book of Penacony flora and fauna, trying to identify all the flowers in the garden. There were many extravagant flowers that grew on the planet of festivities, but Sunday found himself drawn to the lily of the valley. “It’s one of my favorite flowers.”

It was simple and elegant. It relied on no flashiness or bright colors— it existed quietly in understated beauty. As a child, Sunday couldn’t quite understand why he appreciated the flower. When he grew older and took his place as the head of the Oak Family, Sunday reasoned that it embodied the Order. Simple flowers aligned in rows, able to be admired from the safety of a garden; that was the dream that Sunday wanted to cultivate.

But life slumbered so it could wake up from the dream, and faced with the flower again in the presence of (Name), Sunday could find a new meaning in it. “It’s my favorite, too! I think it’s a really beautiful flower. Not to mention that it’s also really low maintenance, hehe.”

Sunday wasn’t one to believe in fate— for most of his life he was greatly opposed to the idea that destiny was out of his control. But he found it comforting that he had the same favorite flower as (Name). Maybe it meant something. He looked up at them, a small smile on his lips. “May I ask why this flower is your favorite?”

“Hmm…” (Name) raised a brow at Sunday’s question and tapped their chin in thought. “How should I describe it… When someone thinks of a ‘beautiful flower’ they probably imagine something like a lotus flower, right? Any flower that has the petals arranged perfectly symmetrical. Those flowers are definitely beautiful, but…”

They beckoned Sunday for the flower, and he gently placed the planter in their hands. “It could have a few flowers, or a lot. They’re not always in perfect rows, either! Sometimes they’re in pairs and sometimes one flower is by itself. Every flower is unique and… I don’t know. I really like that.”

Sunday blinked. He looked down at the flower again and he saw it in a whole new light. What he labeled as perfection was imperfection in (Name)’s eyes, but still beautiful all the same. “I never thought about them like that,” he admitted. “I used to think of them as tidy and perfectly aligned…”

The wistful expression Sunday had gave (Name) pause. He had warmed up since he boarded the express— thanks in no small part to (Name) worming their way into his heart. They started chatting with him because they wanted him to feel welcome but Sunday had turned into quite the people pleaser. Maybe he was just trying to be nice, but he would never turn down a conversation. So (Name) learned plenty about him, and he learned plenty about them. He knew (Name)’s favorite food, the way they liked their tea, and what their favorite Robin song was. Now he knew their favorite flower and he still wanted to know more.

Taking a chance, (Name) leaned forward. “Well, I guess you’re just like it, then!”

Sunday felt his face heat up. He would’ve covered it with his wings, but that would’ve made it even more obvious. “What do you mean?”

And taking another chance, (Name) scooted closer so that their knees bumped against Sunday’s. Now their face started to burn. “You dreamed of order, but you chose to wake up. Maybe things in the real world aren’t as perfect as you wanted it to be, but you’re committed to learning.”

There was a tiny voice in the back of (Name)’s mind screaming, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? This was a terrible idea on all fronts and (Name) was risking the friendship they had built up. Not to mention it would make meal times on the express horrifically awkward. If Sunday didn’t share mutual feelings, (Name) might throw themself into the cosmos.

Sunday was no fool— he understood what was happening. The question to consider was what he wanted to do about it. He had his reservations, but he was supposed to start anew. Maybe this could be one of the new things he could explore. “I see,” Sunday smiled. “I suppose I could be one of the flowers on its stem.”

(Name) decided to pass the point of no return. “Maybe you’re a pair? I could be… the flower next to you.”

Thankfully, Sunday passed the point with them. “I would like that.”

Much to both of their surprise, Sunday closed the distance first. Despite being the initial instigator, (Name) was lost on what to do when Sunday’s lips met theirs. His lips were soft but the pressure was firm, whether it was out of intensity or inexperience (Name) didn’t know, but it was exhilarating. One of Sunday’s hands found (Name)‘s neck, resting his thumb against their jaw. His other hand rested on (Name)’s as they clutched the delicate flower for dear life.

Before Sunday fully pulled away, he pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of (Name)’s lips. Leaning back, Sunday pulled one of (Name)’s hands with him. He kissed the back of their hand. “Careful,” he murmured against their skin. “You’re going to crush the flower.”

(Name) set the planter back on top of the box and leaned forward once again. Sunday felt their warm breath against his skin. “It’s safe and sound… So, let’s keep going—“

Sunday closed the distance before (Name) could finish. 

hanami event masterlist | masterlists

[whilereadingandwalking]

I started While Reading and Walking 10 years ago today. I didn’t know if anyone wanted to read my book musings. I just knew I wanted to write them, and I decided I would start, and see where it went.

I had dreams of being a mega influencer with 100ks of followers. I never expected to have a community some of whom got to know me better honestly than people I know in real life. I didn’t know I’d one day be sharing a chronic illness journey, baring my soul about body image, or raging about politics with my followers. I didn’t know I’d make real, genuine friendships from it. And frankly, I didn’t know that the whole thing would work: people, lots of them, would actually want to read what I wrote about books. Enough that I’d get hired to write more of it.

I am such a transformed person since I began in 2015. If you’ve been on my book blog since the early days, thank you so much for every comment, every share, every message. There were times early on that I didn’t think the work was worth it, but every interaction made me think maybe it was. And it was.

Here are some favorite photos from some of the many journeys you’ve followed me on. And one sincere photo of currently very-tired, bronchitis-ridden me, thanking you, sincerely, before I go back, naturally, to my reading.

[dragonagegayz]

She Takes A Dive in My Daydreams

Rating: Explicit

Game: Dragon Age The Veilguard

Pairing: Rook x Lucanis x Spite, Lucanis x Rook, Lucanis x Spite (kinda), Rook x Spite

Word Count: 10137

Summary: Bas De Riva catches the First Talon reading some naughty literature and comes up with a game for them to play with this smutastic page-turner!

Original Prompt: Lucanis is reading a book with a sex scene, bas are going to fuck him but is making him still read and if he stops reading out loud, he stops fucking and makes him watch him jerk off until he continues the edging ( BOTH PANTING MESSES) Courtesy of my girl bestie! Thank you for this lovely even if you might never see this lol

Italic words are Lucanis reading out out. Bold words are Spite talking. Bold and Italic words are Spite and Lucanis talking together.

The book that Lucanis reads is straight btw

Ao3 Link

     Every man had their vice. For some it was drink, for others, it was sex, for the famed First Talon of the Crows, it was romance novels.

     Lucanis was a profound reader, he loved the cheesy tropes, the damsel in distress saved by a charming young rogue or the knight in shining armor coming to rescue the princess locked up in a tower. He ate it up, something Illario used to make fun of him for when they were growing up. He always said those must have scued his idea of what real romance was and it was why it had taken him so long to, erhm pop his cherry as it was.

     (It wasn’t the truth, just something Illario liked to poke at, to try to get a rise out of Lucanis, especially when they were younger. He never did explain to his cousin that no, it was because love was important to him. He always did wonder what he would say to that.)

     And maybe he was right, there was something about the genre that had always sat in his head whenever any sort of more romantic interaction had happened in his life (The dagger gift to Viago was inspired by a book he had read, and had never read again since the failure of said gift). He still cringes sometimes when he thinks back on his and Rook’s first real romantic interaction, him leaning on the wall looking so far up at the qunari and leaning in for the kiss only to pull away in a panic and turn around, needing to stare off into the void of the fade to clear his mind of all of that. That was all inspired by one of his favorite books “A Lady In Waiting” about an aristocratic lady being seduced by a scandalous rogue where in the end they marry and it’s all happy and dandy.

     It also was one of the smuttiest books the Crow had ever read.

     Lucanis wasn’t a prude by any means, just completely inexperienced before Bas, and it had completely caught him off guard when he had purchased it one day in the market on the recommendation of the shop seller. They had promised it was their best book, one of the best pieces of literature they had said with a wink that the assassin later realized was much dirtier than he caught on in the moment. He hadn’t thought much about it, trusted their opinion, and exchanged gold without even reading the back to get an idea of what he was getting into. Even when he had returned home, sequestering himself to his room he hadn’t read the back, simply wanting to jump into his new read with excitement of a new tale of love. What he got instead was raunchy scenes of the man fucking the women into oblivion over and over as their feelings blossomed into something grand. Usually, it wouldn’t have been his type of read, he was far more into the books where their feelings were at the forefront of the writing but he couldn’t deny that he began to love that damnable book.

     Yes, it was pretty poorly written and the dialogue was rather cringeworthy where he had to put down the book a few times to gather himself but it was also, so, so good. The smut was just… unlike anything else he had ever read and for his unknowing mind it seemed promising. He had reread the book at least 30 times since he had gotten it all those years ago, careful to keep his copy in as pristine of a condition as possible to not have to go find another and talk to someone about it. It was his private little secret. The love for what he now knew to be an inaccurate but wonderful smut book with the happy ending of marriage and love never really went away, he always found himself going back for another read. It was his guilty pleasure and maybe he still indulged a time or two every few months, just to be comforted with his terrible smutty literature.

     And that’s what he was doing in the later evening of one of his rare off days, waiting for Bas to show up so the two could go for coffee to wind down. The qunari needed to run a few errands and run to the markets so Lucanis found it to be the perfect time to cuddle up on the couch in his bedroom, with his book in hand. He picked up from the last time he had been reading, after reading it so many times he didn’t need to start it over, he could simply pick it back up with ease when he got back to it. To his luck, it was one of his favorite scenes, with Lady Arabella getting ready for bed and the Rogue Zade breaking into her room, intending to steal her mother’s necklace to sell to a buyer. Instead of a sleeping Lady, he caught her still preparing for bed which nearly made her call the guards but he rushed her to the bed, cupping her mouth with his hand and shushing in her ear. Lucanis snuggled more into the couch as he picked up where he last had left off.

     “Well well well, if it isn’t Lady Arabella. Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” Zade asked in a sultry whisper, his mouth pressed against her sharp ear. She let out a gasp at the wet tongue that played with her lobe.

     “Z-Zade! What do you think you’re doing here!?” Her demand was sharp but airy as she felt his hands begin to wander her body, cupping her buttocks with firm hands. “I was coming to steal from you my Lady but mmm… I find myself distracted by this feast before me,” The Rogue’s hands were insistent as they squeezed her rear, a wet moan coming from his lips as he moved his hips forward. She gasped at the feeling of his hard-on pressing against her, shuddering at the feeling of it. “W-we shouldn’t,” She protested, giving a shiver as his hands moved from her rear to the front, where she was already starting to soak in her undergarments. “You say that, but what is this mess I seem to have found? Already so wet for me and I haven’t even really touched you? How embarrassing,” He teased against her ear, giving the Lady a rough thrust causing her to jolt forward on her bed. She looked over her shoulder as she panted. She desperately tried to stop her moans as she bit down on her lips but found it nearly impossible with the dark look Zade was giving her.

     “Please, please fuck me,” She begged, already lost any inhibitions in the face of his hard-on straining in his pants. His grin was downright evil as he grabbed her hips and turned her over to be facing him. He threw her nightgown up and she had to whine under the eyes of the Rogue who licked his lips at what he saw.

     “Good book Kadan?”

     The First Talon very much did not yelp as he startled from the words he was reading and jolted forward to see his lover standing at the foot of the couch, a rare smirk on his lips. Lucanis's face burned as he held a deathly tight grip on his prize under the gaze of his large lover, who looked down at him with a brow raised. “W-what do you mean?” He tried to play the words off as cool, as collected but the stutter and break in his voice meant the assassin lost any composure. There was an awkward attempt at a laugh too but the way it caught in his throat meant he only somewhat choked on it, trying desperately to clear his throat of it. Bas’ grin only grew darker. “It must be, you seem to be very much enjoying it,” The mage said with a nod down. That confused the First Talon, he truly wasn’t sure what the taller man had been talking about but as soon as he looked down to where he had nodded, his face erupted into a flurry of heat and red.

     He was hard, hard as hell it seemed.

     It shouldn’t have been surprising, he wasn’t even sure why he was shocked in the first place. Every time he read this damn book, every single time with every single smut scene, he found himself in this situation. He wasn’t sure why he had fooled himself into thinking this time was going to be any different, why he thought ‘Just a few pages, nothing can happen in a few pages as I wait for Rook’. Merida, if he wasn’t the biggest fool. Now here he was, rock hard with his shame in his hand under the eyes of his lover who seemed ready to tease the hell out of the First Talon. All the De Riva’s seemed to take a special pleasure in such things it seemed, and Bas was no different.

     “‘A Lady In Waiting’ Hmm? I believe that was a favorite of some of the young servants in the De Riva house. I remember them speaking about it in their quarters late at night, gushing about the Rogue. Ah, what was his name? Zander?”

     “Zade,” Lucanis was quick to answer and his face only turned a deeper red at his fast response, something deep in him not willing to hear this favorite character of his be disrespected. The grin on the mage’s face only deepened as he leaned down, with hands on either side of the shorter man’s head. “Ah, of course, Zade. My apologies Kadan,” His tone was deep, rumbling. His eyes were dark too, if the assassin didn’t know his lover he’d almost call them threatening but no, that wasn’t what the eyes staring down at him were. “You must be a big fan, you were quick to correct me,” The qunari leaned in, head coming to the junction of where Lucanis’ jawline met his neck, placing a light kiss on the muscles. He began to go down in a slow line, placing these light, vague kisses somehow to every beat of the First Talon’s steady heartbeat. “I’ve read it a few times,” He confessed under his breath, hoping it was quiet enough the other man wouldn’t hear him but of course, Rook did. “A few? How interesting Amor, this is not your usual read. I do love to learn new things about you,” Bas teased against the neckline of his lover, giving a light, small bite as he finished which in turn made Lucanis give a small moan. He could feel his bastard of a lover’s smile against his skin. “You should read it to me,” The larger Crow suggests as he switches to the First Talon’s other side, following the same line he had on the other side with those gentle, barely there kisses. A shudder went through the younger man as the grip on his book tightened, heat forming under his low collar at the thought. “I-I…” Words failed him as this bite on his collar was deeper, harsher making a groan bubble from deep within his chest.

     The thought lit a fire under his skin, he felt his legs tighten, his lungs heave and his dick gave an interested twitch despite his embarrassment at the thought. Never had he shared this with anyone else, there was no one else to share it with after all. If there would be anyone he’d want to share with it would be Bas, no one made himself feel safe the way the qunari did. He also couldn’t deny there were hidden fantasies of this exact thing deep in his mind, whispered dirty words with a lover over him, watching him as he read out loud. Under the gaze of Bas? To be loomed over by such a big man, where he already knew certain looks made his body react in ways he hadn’t ever experienced before the qunari. He couldn’t deny the appeal.

     But instead of voicing these desires, he found himself hiding behind his book, knowing his bright ears must still be noticeable. A rumbling hum came from Rook as the man pulled away, Lucanis looked over the book so their eyes would meet. “Do you wish me to stop?” He asked, ever sure to check-in.

     “NO!”

     The sudden show of Spite took both men off guard as the demon’s growl echoed through the room from how loud and aggressive he spoke. The First Talon could feel his frustration at the idea of stopping or not doing what was suggested with vigor. As if the entire thought of not doing this was the biggest disappointment the demon could experience. The answering chuckle from Bas made a laugh rise from his own throat. “I am asking Lucanis, Spite. We will give you a turn soon. First him, then you. Is that fair?” The qunari always made sure to check in with the host and demon equally but it was understood that Lucanis was the first to be talked with then Spite, then the two together. Rook was thorough with consent always, it was a bit interesting to try to navigate it with the demon included in their sex lives but as strange as it might be, the younger Crow found it endearing of the mage. It showed how much he loved both the human and demon and something about that made the assassin’s heart sing. “Hmph, fine. We wait. Want a turn though.” Spite grumbled before earning a kiss to the lips from the mage which turned dirtier as the demon’s insistent tongue slipped into the other’s mouth. It was strange to be on the other side of these types of interactions but it was also undeniably pretty hot. Almost like getting to watch the two yet feel it all the same. Bas pulled away, not before the demon gave a final nip to his lower lip with a smokey laugh before handing the reins back over to Lucanis. The two laughed at each other over Spite’s behavior, sharing a kiss which the shorter Crow heard Spite give a jealous grumble at.

     Eyes met, smiles were exchanged and another kiss was shared before Rook spoke again.

     “Do you wish me to stop, Kadan?”

     Were Lucanis to say yes, the qunari would do exactly that. He’d pull away with a kiss to his forehead, back off and the two would go to their coffee date with no other words exchanged about it but that wasn’t what Lucanis wanted. He couldn’t deny how the thought played in his head since the man had brought it up, to read these dirty scenes aloud to his lover, to have those eyes on him as words of filth passed by his lips well… He was only human after all. “No,” He whispered out, grip once again tightening on his book as he watched the qunari’s eyes darken. A rumbling hum came, another share of a slow languid kiss before the larger mage pulled away. Lucanis wasn’t expecting the man to grab ahold of his hips, lift him from his spot on the couch, and easily carry the First Talon to their shared bed in the room, gently depositing him onto it as if the man weighed nothing. Fire rekindled in his groin as he thickly swallowed at the sight of Bas on top of him, hands smoothing down the loose shirt and pants the shorter Crow had changed into upon returning home.

     “Mmm, Shaath Kadan, I have a proposal,” The qunari mumbled as his eyes looked up and down his lover’s body, fingers light and teasing making the First Talon squirm under their attention of them. He hummed, unable to get words to work as his face began to burn more as the larger man’s eyes roamed. How Bas smiled down at him like he knew that was the case, proud to have turned Lucanis to be quiet, unable to speak which made the man himself frown playfully. “You will read your book to me, you will not hold back your words while I do this,” Touches grew heavier, still vague but enough to be felt. Lucanis swallowed, fighting off a shudder at the idea, at the thought of the dirty words that would come from his mouth as his cruel lover teased. “There must be a catch?” He asked because, with Rook, there was always something more than what seemed on the surface. The knowing grin he got in return was enough to tell him he was going to struggle with whatever was to be asked of him. “If you stop, I stop. No words, no touches but the more you read the more I get to touch, to reveal skin, to find other places for my mouth to go,” Fingers teased down, over the bulge still in the shorter man’s pants which made his hips twitch up from he sudden attention of his neglected cock. The stuttering moan that came after made his cheeks burn. “C-could you-” Words caught in Lucanis throat as embarrassment caught them before they could speak. He hated that, hated that there was still that bit of hesitation in his brain saying that inexperience would make him a bad lover or that his requests were unwelcome. Luckily, his ever-observant lover would catch these moments and just as he always did, hands came up to cup the assassin’s face, making their eyes meet as he pressed their foreheads together. They breathed together, slow intake, slow output as Rook made sure to keep their eyes locked. “What do you wish of me, Amor?” He asked, quiet and low. After a short few breaths, Lucanis was able to speak again.

     “Could you f-fuck me while…?” He couldn’t finish his thought, the burning in his chest was just too much but luckily the mage took mercy on him as he nodded, placing a kiss on the tip of the man’s nose. “Of course, whatever my Kadan wants. I will get my Saartoh Nehrappan. Take your time to breathe and find where you wish to read. I will also get us water, is there anything else you wish for?” Lucanis shook his head, not trusting his voice would work but it was enough for his lover who leaned down to meet their lips in a brief kiss before he pulled away from First Talon. For how calm and collected the man seemed, the younger man could tell he was just as affected by their exchange from the speed he left the room with, a jump in his usually stoic gate. Lucanis had to giggle at the image before he allowed his head to tip back and took in slow breaths, a type of training Bas had taught him for their intimate moments, to make sure he was never so overwhelmed it’d lead to a panic. His heart still gave heavy thumps in his chest but it was steady, not slow necessarily but calmer than it had been when he was trying to speak his desires into the world. He lifted the book, frowning a bit at himself from the page being rumpled but with a few smoothing motions, it returned to its original condition. He let his eyes drift across the words, trying not to read further but he couldn’t help it.

     “A feast lays before me it seemed,” Zade’s gruff voice made its way to her ear, curling down into her stomach. Arabella tensed, arched her back trying to show off her supple flower to the man behind her. He laughed down at her, a hand coming to spank her rear, the sound echoing through her room as well as a gasp. “Want me to kiss your hole that bad? Want me to suck and slurp you down like you’re gonna be my last meal?” She had to nod, falling forward and jetting her hips higher up with a wiggle to entice the rogue. “Please, please,” She begged, no need to be coy. The gruff laugh she got in response made her shudder and shake. “I don’t think I will, I think I’m gonna fuck you with my girth, take you without prep so I can feel the way you stretch and-

     “Started without me Kadan? Now what am I to do with you?”

     Now, the First Talons of the Crow would never let out a squeak, never. If he happened to when his lover once again starled him from his book well, that was for those two and them alone. Bas’ smile was downright evil, the cruel man laughed down at his poor fellow Crow as he placed a glass of water on the bedside and pulled back, his other hand holding the box that contained the Saartoh Nehrappan. Any words Lucanis was going to snap disappeared as his throat watered in anticipation at the sight of the chest. Fire that had morphed to a slow simmer quickly roared back to life as his cock twitched, and balls tighten just at the mere idea of what prize was hidden within. He still remembers the first time the qunari had brought it out, one of the first times they had time with each other since the defeat of the gods. How gentle and kind the mage had been about the device, talking Lucanis through it to see if it was something he wanted to try. Then how by the end, the younger man was begging for harder, faster, more from his more than willing lover. The shorter Crow had even managed to make Rook cum hands-free with just his noises and begging, a moment he was justly proud of.

     Bas set the box aside and adjusted the smaller man to his liking, pulling him slightly closer to the edge of the bed then reaching for his pants, eyes up to check in. “Is this ok, Lucanis and Spite? Are you ready to begin?” The demon was quick to confirm his affirmation, wings coming out to flap for a moment before disappearing to the void while the First Talon confirmed with a quiet yes, voice shakey with anticipation. His lover bent down, they shared a loving kiss one to convey all the heartfelt words they both struggled to speak sometimes. The “I love you, I’m glad you’re alive, I’m happy we’re together” that each other knew they felt but just couldn’t get into words from their differing yet painfully similar terrible past and generally a little too stoic for emotions thing they both had going on. Bas pulled away, letting their eyes meet one last time to make sure the demon and First Talon were completely ok before slipping the man’s pants down and throwing them to the side. His cock bobbed up now that it was free, its head an angry red with pre-cum already leaking down. He should be embarrassed, to be so ready so quickly but he knew that his lover was absolutely in love with just how eager he was. Lucanis went to sit up so his shirt could also be removed and Bas helped him to toss it to the side. The way he looked down at the man, the way he licked his lips as if he was a treat ready to be devoured, it made the younger man shudder, fists clenched around his book with the near threat of tearing a page were he not careful.

     Of course, the bastard smiled.

     Rook turned over to open the box he had set to the side, careful as he removed the Saartoh Nehrappan and the harness. Lucanis tried not to squirm as his brain helpfully supplied him with flashes of images from the last couple of times they used the toy. Him a panting, begging mess with his lover over him, cooing soft praises into his ears with contrasting ruthless thrusts into that one overtly sensitive spot over and over again. If there was one thing about the qunari it was how he never did things in half measures, the shorter Crow wanted it hard and fast? The most ruthless pace you’d ever seen. Slow and loving? Movements be fit of a dancer to slowly drag the assassin over the edge of pleasure. Now though, as the man stripped his clothes away, barely giving the First Talon time to appreciate the showing of all this skin, and slipped the harness on and attached the toy, the poor younger man knew this was about to be a tortuous experience. His heart thumped hard in his chest in excitement. Bas muttered a spell under his breath, the one to get him to feel the toy as if it was his anatomy (When they had discovered such a thing existed well, neither had left the room for at least three days) They shared one last, lingering kiss, Bas cruelly nipping at Lucanis’ lip before instantly pulling away, not allowing the man any time to savor the treatment. There was a shared look between the two, one last no-verbal check in which the First Talon gave an affirming nod, feeling Spite take over for a brief moment to give his nod before the mage gave his own. Then, he spoke.

     “Begin,”

     Lucains shook as he nodded, looking down at his book and taking in a deep breath before he started to read.

     “I don’t think I will, I think I’m gonna fuck you with my girth, take you without prep so I can feel the way you stretch and flex around me,” The man’s voice was downright evil as he spoke down to her as if she was less than a dog. She couldn’t help the flowery moan she let out at the words spat down at her.

     Bas had started to move, as he said he would, a hand running up and down his body while the other reached into the toy’s box again to retrieved the bottle of oil kept in there. The younger man faltered in his words already, anticipation making him choke but the moment he stopped, the moment the other man’s hand stopped moving as a brow flicked up at him, the older Crow’s eyes filled with expectation. The younger man took in a breath as his eyes returned to the pages.

     “Do it, please do,” She gasped out in a tone more befitting of a whore than a Lady of her caliber. With each word, he could hear the other man getting the toy slick. Excitement built in Lucanis’ stomach as he shifted his hips a little. "Very good Amor,” He heard whispered to the air, he tried not to let his words falter least he failed the larger man. Her hips canted up further, her chest squished deeper into the duvet under her as she tried to entice him, eyes looking back at him with what she knew was a dark and deep look. Whatever he saw made the rogue growl out, moving to grab ahold of her hips and he spun her to be on her back, as if she weighed nothing. “AH!” His sound interrupted him as cool lube and a large finger pressed against the rim of his hole, a shudder running through him at the sudden temperature shift. A kiss came to his stomach along with a muttered apology and the First Talon shifted the book up a little so he could see the other Crow who was looking up at him with expecting eyes. “Continue,” His rumbling voice commanded, eyes blown open with lust and expectation. The younger man bit down on his lip to stifle a whimper as his eyes looked for the words that came next. His breathing started to pick up a little, only getting worse as when he did start to read, the finger on his hole began to move, tracing it in the loving manner Bas always did this with.

     “A slut like you should know better than to tease me like that. You know just what that’ll make a man do,” He growled in her ear with a wet, hot groan that felt like a snake wrapping around her spine to squeeze. Arabella moaned as her crevice squished around nothing, her legs falling to the side in a motion that said ‘Fuck me now!’. From the way he licked his lips, she knew he got the message loud and clear. Another shout of his own interrupted his reading again as a warm mouth engulfed his cock all the way to the base right when a finger slipped into his hole, insistent pressure from both ends making his breathing jagged, hard to catch. As soon as it came though it was all pulled away much to his frustration, a sob coming from his chest as he was left empty and cold. “You need to keep reading Kadan, those are the rules,” Rook teased, the grin on his face was near sadistic which made the shorter Crow toss his head back. “I am trying Amor, but Merida… You overwhelm me,” A hum was his response, and there were a few shuffles of movement before the qunari’s grunts filled the air. Lucanis, concerned, opened his eyes and looked down but nearly choked at the sight before him.

     Bas was stroking the Saartoh Nehrappan with his lube-covered hand, eyes staring up at the assassin sure and steady. His sounds were short, huffy as he let them lose, the feeling of pleasure must have been nice to finally get and there was almost a jealous gnawing in the younger man’s stomach wishing he was the one touching. He shifted a little, ready to move to reach down but the eyes of his lover stopped him. “You aren’t to touch, you are to read,” Rook commanded. Lucanis swallowed, right the rules. He was just reminded of them but seeing the qunari in pleasure seemed to blank his mind of what they had been doing. He relaxed back into the bed, eyes lingering for a moment.

     “Read,” Bas demanded through gritted teeth.

     There was no fanfare as he ripped down his pants, that big length bobbed out with his juice already leaking from him as it gave an angry wink at her. Instantly as the words came from his mouth, the other Crow’s hands returned to touch those slippery fingers back at his hole and the warm mouth taking in his dick again, slowly this time, only about an inch. Lucanis arched a little as the finger slipped into him but he was sure to keep reading even though his voice shook. The Lady had to touch it, she had to touch it as she reached down to do that when a quick, fast as lighting hand grabbed her leg and pulled it up so her wet cave was angled up towards the girth, ready to slide in easily. “You think I’d let you have the pleasure of touching my cock? Think again My Lady, this isn’t about you tonight. It’s about me and this big thing fucking you every which way until you’re begging, screaming to cum. Maybe if you’re a good little whore, you’ll get what you want,” A muffled chuckle came from Bas, and while Lucanis did not stop, he threw a glare over the book to his lover but he found himself unable to considering the way the laugh vibrated against his cock. The finger that had been teasing slipped back into him, another already playing at the rim next to the one snugly pushed in. As he spoke, he was rubbing his length up and down her sloppy hole, passing up where she wanted it to tease, to make her shake even more. Had this Rogue always been such a bastard of a tease, so cruel and unforgiving as to not give his hot, heavy rod right this minute after all of his teasing? Lucanis felt his face flush even harder as he read the words aloud, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to bask in the feeling he was being overwhelmed with and to try and beat down the embarrassment churning in his stomach. Had this book always been this… cheesy or was the man’s taste in books just not particularly good?

     There was a slight pause in Bas’ movements and it was a bit of a scrambled panic to find his place again, desperate not to get the other man to stop.

     She tried not to yelp as an unexpected finger came by to tease the rim of her other hole, not slipping in either just pressing down. “Soon I’ll fuck this one too, won’t even give you a choice but to take, take, take what I give. Maybe I could tie you down, lock you in a room so I can use you whenever I want,” There was a bit of stuttering as he read the line. It felt filthy coming from his lips. His breathing picked up, breath hot against the pages of the book. The other finger slipped in, the stretch slowing down as the qunari took his time to let Lucanis get used to it. Arabella looked up at Zade, watching him grunt in concentration as her slick began to drip down onto the bed she thought ‘Yes gods, please do that. Lock me away for you, only for you to use,’ The First Talon felt more than heard the responding moan he got, those vibrations going through his dick where the qunari had it buried in his throat. His thighs tensed at the feeling and his breathing hitched in his throat for a second but he was quick to fill his lungs and start to read again, though this time his voice was much airier than it had been. But all she could do was moan, hoping her feelings could come across in the downright filthy sounds she found herself making. The way the rogue looked down at her told her she was getting somewhere.

��    Another finger pressed against his hole and instinctively, the younger man grabbed for the other with one hand, his fingers coming up to wrap and thread themselves around the long strands of his large lover’s hair on his head. He pressed the book against his face as he found himself lost in the sensation of pleasure as Bas began to move on his cock, a slow up and down with his mouth while pressing the large third finger in. Three fingers, especially as large as the mage’s, also took the assassin a moment to adjust to. It was good, that wasn’t the issue but damn if it wasn’t so overwhelming, even now. “Kadan~” A teasing voice broke through the pleasurable haze as Lucais found the warmth around his cock had pulled away, with the fingers nearly following suit. Panic came over him as he scrambled to get his eyes on the page and to keep reading. As soon as the words left his mouth, the fingers sunk back in, and the mouth returned to his cock but only to give attention to the weeping head, not that he minded. The following growl he gave did too, as she suddenly found herself entered with the full force of his girth bearing down into her, not stopping till the tip was buried deep within her, playing with her cervix. Right as he spoke those words, a particular cruel thrust came from the fingers buried within him, aimed straight for the bundle of nerves that had him bowing his back. The hand that had wrapped around his leg earlier tightened, a quiet command to control his hips, and the Crow just about managed to settle them back into place, despite the onslaught of pleasure he felt deep inside him.

     She was so full, it felt as if her guts were being rearranged with just how close and much he was buried within her, if she were to reach down she knew she would be able to feel the very tip of his cock outlined in her stomach.

     The two men shared a moan between the two of them, Bas’ muffled one being buried on the First Talon’s cock once again. Then all of a sudden, Bas ripped away from the younger man, leaving him desperately empty as a whine came from his chest, an unhappy mournful sound that made him glance over his book and see the larger man had pulled away but a hand was wrapped around something and there was a look to his face, one of pleasure, of biting down on his lip to contain his noises at the feeling. Their eyes met and Bas raised an eyebrow, a demand to continue without the words being spoken. Lucanis tilted his hips a little, an enticing image he hoped as he returned to his last read line. He could feel the tips of his ears burning, and his face felt on fire but damn if he wasn’t desperate for more. She was so full, it felt as if her guts were being rearranged with just how close and much he was buried within her, if she were to reach down she knew she would be able to feel the very tip of his cock outlined in his stomach- A moan interrupted his reading as he suddenly found himself very full with what he knew was to be his lover’s Saartoh Nehrappan, the cushioning of the leather feeling delightful against the warmth of his walls. The fingers that had stretched him had prepared him for this but nothing ever compared to the feeling of his lover’s cock inside him.

     The two stay suspended in silence for a moment, Bas kindly allowing Lucanis a moment to catch his breath, to adjust to this good stretch. How he loved this, he absolutely couldn’t deny that, though he would die in a pool of his blush were anyone to ask him. It wasn’t so much embarrassment, he held no shame for the things he loved but his desperation was almost too much sometimes. Bas, however, never made him feel such a way, if anything he was more than ok with providing the First Talon with the type of pleasure he needed, with soft kisses to the temples and gentle squeezes of the hand. Always checking in, always caring, always so sweet. So the younger Crow wasn’t surprised to feel a squeeze of a large hand press into his thigh, two of them, one right after the other, a silent way of asking if everything was ok. Lucanis answered with his silent nod, hands tightening slightly on his books as the larger man shifted a bit, the toy inside the smaller man shifting with him, just barely brushing against the spot the qunari had been teasing earlier. The other hand on the other side gave the squeeze again, this one was for Spite.

     The demon took a few seconds to take the little control he needed to nod as well, it seemed he was also in the haze of lust, just barely managing to hang on. Lucanis couldn’t deny the bit of smugness he felt still having semi-control over his body and mind, still able to read as it were. Speaking of which, he found his eyes drifting towards the page, ready to keep this all going. He was half expecting his lover to give the command to continue, what he wasn’t expecting was the sudden pull of the Saartoh Nehrappan to where not even a single inch was left in him. Shock must have been on his face as he looked over the book to glare at Bas for ever having the audacity to leave him empty after all of that but the sight he was greeted with stole his words away.

     The older man had one hand gripped around his cock, using slow certain strokes on himself as his breathing had turned to panting. Like a desperate dog, his hips twitched a bit with each pass of his hand, a methodical up and down on his cock, practiced and smooth, the kind of pleasure on his face one of just barely enough. His eyes had been closed at first, but like a sixth sense, he snapped them open the moment the First Talon’s eyes reached his. Lucanis shuddered under their weight, the heady mix of overwhelming lust and expectation, a brow popped up as if to say ‘What are you waiting for?’. With a hard swallow, the shorter man returned his eyes to his book (with much difficulty) and licked his lips, not even realizing till then just how dry his mouth had become. How she wished to feel him, feel the way he pushed himself into her deepest parts, fucked into her most sacred hole without a care in the world, it was too much yet not enough. As he read, slow movements began to go in and out of him, just barely an inch of length moving, probably to get him used to the stretch the toy gave. Ever the caring sweetheart, even in the throws of such passion. It made Lucanis's belly heat with love which only in turn made his cock jump, and twitch under the pleasure of his lover’s care. There was a deep rumbling chuckle, Bas must have realized the same, eyes probably trained on the lower half of the younger Crow. As Lucanis continued to read, he continued to move in slow, small thrusts but slowly adding more of a pullback with every word read aloud.

     How she wished to feel him, feel the way he pushed himself into her deepest parts, fucked into her most sacred hole without a care in the world, it was too much yet not enough. A garbled moan was all she could give as he began a brutal pace without a care for her, it was so unlike anything she ever really experienced in a life full of pampering and careful care. Temptation bit at the neck of the First Talon and he let his free hand linger down, slid down his chest carefully before it settled on where he knew the very tip of the dick in him would be. He pressed down slow, right when his lover had slid the Saartoh Nehrappen back into place. Both men let out a heady moan, Lucanis’ louder than Bas’ but both men’s still echoed around the room. The assassin looked over his book to see a dark look directed at him, a shudder ran through his body as he reflectively tightened around the toy in him while pressing down even further. His lover’s reaction was a shiver, a bite down on his tongue as to contain his sounds which the younger man frowned at. He deepened the pressure on the Saartoh Nehrappen, fighting his smile at the other muffled groan to keep his image of displeasure up.

     “I want to hear you,” He whispered, a shakey moan coming as he felt a minute, aborted thrust go in deeper, hitting his prostate just to cause his legs to shake where they lay on the bed. Bas’ eyes lifted and there was this near feral tint to his eyes that Lucanis didn’t get to see very often but always knew he was going to feel amazing once all was said and done. However, there was no sudden rush of pleasure, instead, he was once again very suddenly left empty as the other man pulled away. A hand gripped the base of the toy as the qunari stared hard at the First Talon. His hand started to move, and Lucanis's mouth watered at the sight. “And you are supposed to be reading,” The man muttered through gritted teeth, eyes closing for a moment as they rolled back, probably getting lost in the feeling of his hand. A wave of annoyance washed over Lucanis for a split second. “Keep reading. Want more of this Bas. Want him to. Lose. CONTROL!” Spite’s growl was heedy, a whole lot of desperation in the tone of his voice but the shorter Crow couldn’t deny he too wanted to see his lover completely lose it. If the panting mess of his breaths was any indication, they were getting close. He returned his eyes to the page, taking a slow swallow before continuing. Zade didn’t give her this courtesy, she was nothing but a hole to be filled, and damned if she didn’t love it. As soon as his words started, he felt the toy be forced back into his hole and if he spread his legs a little wider to where it would go in easier well, that was for him and Spite to know.

     “The way you clamp down on me, tight and worried I’ll leave you empty. Ha, no one has ever treated you like less than the princess you think you are,” Zade was growling, not even speaking at this point as he thrust deep into Arabella with his unforgiving length. She could do nothing but take it, over and over again. The pace of Bas’ slow fucking was starting to falter, even without looking, the assassin knew the qunari was struggling to hold back. He could hear it in the desperate noises from the other, his breathing harsh and ragged as he was probably desperately trying to control his desire for harder, faster. Lucanis wanted to feel him break. “Maybe if they would treat you high and mighty type a little bit more like this,” He gave a particularly deep push of his hips which made the Lady give a wail, which in turn made the Rogue reach to cover her mouth, a pitiful attempt to cover her noises. The First Talon had to do the same, as a powerful thrust came, making him tense forward just a bit as sparks flashed behind his eyes and hit his bundle of nerves just right. “Maybe you all wouldn’t be such miserable curs to be around,” The man’s words were barely registering in the woman’s mind, she knew she had just been insulted but what did any of that matter when she could feel his length hitting those deep, unspeakable parts of her. Another huff of a panting breath and Lucanis changed a look over his book. Spit caught in his throat at the sight.

     Bas had his eyes shut tight, there was a little shake to his body and the hadns resting on Lucanis’ hips were so tightly clamped on there were already bruises forming in the skin. The First Talon was a bit shocked to find those bruises there, he truly hadn’t even felt them before looking, and now that he did he couldn’t deny the delicious pain of his lover’s fingers digging deep into the meat of him. They would be there for a while and while the mage might argue, Lucanis did not want those healed. They’d sting under his clothes for weeks if he was lucky, a nice reminder of just how lost he managed to get his partner with a crappy smut book and his voice reading the words. Something to keep in mind for a later date, the younger man decided. The purring rumble he felt was in agreement, oh poor Rook was going to be tortured. His head kissed the cervix over and over, each push of his hips just getting deeper in her places. Fingers slipped into her mouth and all she could do was suck them in, whimper around their thickness as she felt both of her holes get filled. The pace was starting to pick up even more, a much more rushed in and out, hard hits into the deepest parts of the Crow, while the bigger man was seemingly barely holding on. It was becoming hard to control his breathing, the sounds becoming wet, panting breaths as he tried to catch air to keep reading.

     The pace was rough yet steady, a constant unforgiving in and out of cock. She swore she could feel her guts have to rearrange to accommodate this onslaught, making just enough room to let Zade into herself. It felt perfect though, like he was imprinting his length into her and there would be no one else who would ever be able to fill her the way he was. Considering the growling in her ear and the tightness of one hand on her thigh, she had no hesitation in believing that was the rogue’s plan. “Want, to do, the same,” It was mumbled very quietly, the words from his lover but Lucanis still heard them. His hole clenched at the words, earning a low, threatening growl from the qunari. Oh, how could the younger man convey that was exactly what he felt when they did this? Every time they were together, when Bas would fuck him like this he felt like his body was shaping to only match what the large man would provide. He was shifting inside, perfectly made to be taken by the older man forever and always. And how was he supposed to explain he wanted the same for the mage? He wanted Rook’s cunt to be shaped only to ever take him, ever again. No one else would ever get that warmth wrapped around their dick, only Lucanis could ever have that. Instead, he just smiled, though it was hidden. Maybe that would just stay his little secret for right now.

     To morph her to only be able to accept his rod, for it will be the only one she’ll ever think about. Be it in the sanctuary of her room alone, playing with herself but never quite getting there without him or if she was with her fiance on their wedding night, the poor bastard desperately rutting against her but she would only have the memory of Zade’s cock in her, giving her this overwhelming pleasure in a way that moron never will be able to. Another harsh, unforgiving thrust made her gasp out, the high-pitched sound just barely being covered up by the fingers stuck in her mouth. Now, there was no rhythm to the older man’s movements, he leaned even closer to the Frist Talon, breath panting against the skin of his chest, just barely grazing against the sensitive nipples there. For a moment, the younger Crow bit down on his tongue, trying to control his ragged breathing. “Keep. Going.” The demon demanded, but it was more out of desperation, much more pathetic than he probably intended but Lucanis could understand. He was honestly shocked he could still be reading but it was as his lover requested and the shorter man was always one to follow and order through. Even with fingers deep in his sensitive thighs and the feeling of his large lover’s hot breath just being panted into his skin. “Ah, ah, no sounds. We wouldn’t want someone running up to come check in on you, now would we?” Another sink-in of his dick, right when his words hit her ears which only made her want to give more sounds. There was a breathy chuckle from the qunari, one that sounded tight like he was pulled too taunt. “Yes. Keep going. He is going to break.” Lucanis probably shouldn’t be encouraging this behavior from Spite but he couldn’t deny that yes, he wanted that too.

     He chuckled at her.

     “Or maybe you do want to be caught? Is that why you are just so loud, want everyone to hear just how good I fuck you?” Gods of course that was what she wanted, for her desperate sounds to ring out into the estate, to have her family and friends come running only to see that she is getting piled drived into by a smirking handsome rogue who makes her scream as if he’s the best pleasure in her life. And it was truth be told, no man had ever made her feel this way, no man was made for her the way Zade was-

     Suddenly, Lucanis found the book pulled from his grasp. He looked in shock to see Bas, eyes completely blown open with lust as the qunari very gently placed the book out of reach on their bedside and made sure none of the pages were caught as he closed it before looking down at the younger Crow. He swallowed at the sight of his lover, shoulders heaving up and down with effort, with his face fully flushed and lips shiny with spit. “Can I continue?” He asked, his words choppy and hips shaking with effort as he tried to keep them still as he checked consent. “Yes,” Both demon and human answered at the same time, wings coming out to unfurl across the bed, a few feathers hanging over the sides. Whatever Bas must have seen before him seemed to have finally tipped the scales as Lucanis suddenly found himself pushed into the mattress with his legs up nearly on either side of his ears. The usually light blue eyes of his lover were completely overtaken by black, there were flakes of tears in his lids with a swollen bottom lip from where his teeth were digging into it. It stole away any air Lucanis had with a high whine, especially as he tried to get his hips even more forward, to entice the qunari just that little bit more. It worked, considering the growl he got in response as he let out a long, near wail of a moan as his lover’s cock pushed back into him.

     This time there was no slow-moving, Bas was relentless in his thrusts. Over and over, hitting right on Lucanis’ prostate with stunning accuracy. The First Talon couldn’t contain his noises even if he tried, his breath catching as short, cut-off moans echoed through his room. He felt like his body was on fire from all the teasing, yet it almost didn’t feel like enough, like there was still another level his lover was hiding from him. With a bit of effort, he managed to throw his legs over the qunari’s shoulders, who groaned in response as it let him sink that much deeper into the hole of the Crow. Lucanis tightened his hold around the Saartoh Nehrappan as he leaned down into the ear of his lover, dragging his hands up the scarred muscular back of the large man.

     “Please, please fuck me,”

     It was a simple line from the book, but with some unexpected help from Spite, the shorter man made sure to make it as whiney as he could, trying to channel the Lady as best he could. It worked as a very loud moan came from Rook before Lucanis found himself being pounded into. An unforgiving pace as Bas’ cock rammed into him with a hefty grunt each time. It was like a qunari firework show went off behind his eyelids as the younger man threw his head back, tears prickling at his own eyes as he suddenly found his end rapidly approaching. He tried to choke out a warning but words only got interrupted by more moans and sounds he found himself unable to stop. They were also a combination of his own and Spite’s noises, both just barely holding onto the reins as they were so wonderfully assaulted by their lover. His cock bobbed with each thrust, slapping against his taunt stomach as the head leaked precum everywhere. Were he able, he knew if he looked down the head would be an angry red, even nearly purple from the lack of attention after the mind-blowing blow job but he knew, he just knew there would be no need for help on this. With one last high moan, his body violently shuddered as he felt cum shoot from his cock up his chest and probably against where his lover was leaning close. It was warm against his already overheated skin and he could only give more garbled moans as he was fucked harshly through the waves of his high.

     It should be too much but he found that he didn’t feel it was enough as he tried to clamp down harder on his lover, desperately trying to elongate his high for as long as he could. Bas luckily didn’t pull away, he continued his assault on the shorter man’s prostate over and over, seemingly purposely getting as deep as possible so Lucanis would feel the orgasm linger that much more. Tears streamed down his face as he realized he had begun to cry just that little bit. Somehow, somehow the quanri always managed to get tears from him.

     The First Talon watched as his lover’s tears finally began to fall from his eyes, probably from the tightness of his orgasm just being out of reach. He leaned into his ear again, taking a second to give the lobe a loving bite before he spoke again. “Go on Amor, let go,” It only took another thrust before a full body shake overcame the older man as a wonderfully high sigh came from his lips. His hips froze as they thrust his cock deep into his hole one last time. Lucanis had to flex around the deep intrusion, smiling as a choked moan came from his lover. They sat in this high for a moment, the younger assassin letting himself tighten around the toy in him just every few seconds, allowing his lover his long orgasm before eventually, Bas pulled away.

     His face was still flushed, his long hair was a bit tangled from where Lucanis had buried his fingers and there was sweat highlighting his body but damn if he didn’t look beautiful. Rook leaned down, letting their lips meet for a sweet, love-filled kiss. They stayed like that for a few moments, gentle exchange of kisses that were just a hair deep, nothing too filthy as they both felt rather spent from their prolonged torture of each other. He finally pulled away with one last peck before he eased the younger man’s legs from his shoulders, who gave a slight wince at the feeling of finally being returned to the bed. He was going to regret that in the morning.

     Carefully, he watched as Bas pulled the Saartoh Nahrappen out, earning a shared moan between the two. There was a wave of the qunari’s hand with a murmur underneath before he detached the toy, carefully setting it to the side in the box before he went to pull away, presumably to get a basin to clean Lucanis but he didn’t want that. With weak yet determined legs, he wrapped them around his large lover, doing his best to pull the man back to him. Bas chuckled as he leaned back down, letting their lips meet once again. “I must clean you Kadan,” He mumbled in between their shared kisses, the vibration of the words playing on the younger Crow’s lips. There were a few more exchanges of kisses, these turned to sweet and loving before words came again. “You. Must. Cuddle.” Spite demanded, causing the other two to laugh at the demon’s insistence. Lucanis smiled up at Bas, this time opening his arms for the qunari. “Well, you heard him,” He said, smug as ever as the other man just shook his head with a laugh before leaning down. For a brief moment, he pulled away, which made the demon and human frown but a grateful hum came from both as they realized he was simply grabbing the water from the bedside for them. Lucanis lifted up just enough to be able to drink, taking in a deep gulp as he realized the dryness of his throat was worse than he had realized. When he finally pulled away, the entire thing was nearly gone but after refusing another offer, Bas finished the rest, setting it to the side before leaning down to bury himself in the arms of the younger man.“Whatever you want, Amors,” Bas considered, face burying into the neck of the First Talon.

     “Thank you, for allowing me to listen to you read,” The older man muttered into the skin of Lucanis, placing a kiss after he was finished. The shorter man sighed as he nuzzled more into the embrace of his lover. “You say that as if you didn’t just-”

     “I want a turn!”

     Both men were a little taken off guard by the demon’s outburst but laughed all the same. “Of course Spite, you will get your turn,” Bas promised, leaning up so he could lay a kiss on the demon’s lips who let their wings flap with joy, a purring coming from him.

     “Maybe Rook. Reads next time!”

     “Hmm, maybe Kadan, maybe…”

Whew, won't lie homies I had written part one and two like days apart cause I got the writers block bad but truthfully, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out and my art! I think it's cute lol I need to draw more cause I want to get better but like oof ya know

So things I am working on, Bas' back story is in the works and my Illario x Bas stuff however I fear it will become a mini-series with how much I want to write with the two of them especially when Rook gts kicked from the Crows and who Illario might also be working with from Bas' past...

Also at the time of writing this (3/29/25 8:03 PM EST) there is one day left on my Emmrich x Oz poll and if you are inmstreated here's the link to vote! I will be writing all the scenario's in the list, it will just give me an order to write them all in!

Any who I think I'm going to play some Bas (I know I said I would play Oz, I'm waiting for the poll to be over so I can focus on him) and desperately try to get more screenshots so I stop using like the same 5 Bas ones lmao

Anywho, thank you for reading! I hope you get to see the most beautiful moon of your life tonight! -<3 Skunch

[ziegenkind094]

their potential in tsc? unmatched

[advluv4life]

I know The Sunshine Court hasn't changed since the first time I read it but imagining the Foxes interacting with the Trojans after their game is actually so cool because now, after two books, I know these characters and I love these characters and they're interacting with these other characters that I've known and loved prior and it's so nice ♡

God, I hope they interact in the next book so bad!! I want them together again. The Foxes and the Trojans: Together Again (that can be the book title) on a court or not- I don't even care. I just want them to hang out 🥰

[freckledfenrir]

I'm never gonna forget how I when i found out Doll came back to the manga I literally just skipped straight to the F.O.L orphanage arc without reading any arc past book of Atlantic thinking it wouldn't be a big issue. And through the entire thing I was like, what the heck is going on? Stars? Blood transfusions? Canopus radiance? I was so confused, wondering what on earth they were talking about. So I learned the hard way why we don't skip arcs. 🫠

[arolesbianism]

Y'know I generally like all the sephirah core suppressions but Man I wish Binah didn't have the no pause mechanic. She was going to get it anyways later, why did she need it right next to the guy who's main meltdown mechanic involves limiting your ability to pause.

I also just feel like the fight is actually genuinely pretty fun in the way it pushes your micromanagement skills to their limits, and I feel like removing the ability to pause just makes the fight go from a fun management challenge to just kind of stupid. Maybe that's just a skill issue on my part, but still I think her suppression would be a lot less stupidly hard for no good reason and more of a fun challenge if they just removed the no pause part

[thewandererh]

my favorite books. hands down.

[dreaminginholo]

being autistic is getting made fun of and othered even by autistic people

[madlori]

On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

[yourqueenb]

THE TITLE 💀😭 (not a lie in the slightest, I was just caught off guard lmao)

No but in all seriousness, I think I have a bit of a complicated view of Kiara. Imo the issues with her have less to do with her interactions with the other characters as an individual and more to do with how she was treated by said characters, the writers, and fans vs. how the white women of the court were treated — which is why I understand why you often compare her to them and agree that that is pretty much essential to comprehending just how bad the writing for her is.

In an instance where someone is playing chapters with a week in between each one, hiatuses of several months, and give or take a year between each book PLUS all of the retconning throughout, Kiara disappearing for significant periods of time or having minor cameos, and an MC who is not romancing Drake, I think her poor treatment is very easy to miss and it’s equally as easy to take misinterpretations as fact. *I would even say that there is some basis for people to have a less than positive opinion of her if the conversation from book 2 chapter 1 about her and MC’s alliance is one of the factors.

*From what I understand about the fandom at the time of the series’ release, people definitely took the ‘Kiara is a snob’/‘Kiara is so fake’ thing too far. But I think it would be a bit disingenuous to say that she does not come off as rude and snobby in that scene, especially given everything else we know about her. Kiara is intelligent, observant, and calculated. As a diplomat and noblewoman, she values etiquette and propriety. And as a polyglot/linguaphile, she not only has a deep understanding of language but also tends to choose her words and when she participates in conversation overall very carefully. So with all of that in mind, her saying things like “even if MC were someone we deigned to associate with”, ordering Penelope not to “start up on those dogs again”, and pointing out her and Penelope’s high position of honor in response to a disgraced MC asking if they’ll be joining her in the back (which could’ve been meant matter of factly but looks bad within context)…. definitely cuts deep and feels unnecessarily snooty (and patronizing in Penelope’s case). Not to mention the whole “she’s beneath us” comment in response to MC being a bit sarcastic after everything just mentioned.

However, the absolute vitriol many fans had for her along with how eager they were to paint and view her only in a negative light no matter what makes no sense considering all of Penelope, Madeleine, and Olivia’s wrongdoings. Like Kiara doesn’t even come close to being as hateful and malicious as the last two and isn’t fake at all like Penelope. So why do the other three get excessive amounts of grace that they aren’t even deserving of while Kiara gets none and is either actively hated or largely forgotten instead?

If the writers valued and cared for their Black characters as much as they do their white ones and focused on consistency instead of favoritism, then some of the writing for and dynamics between the TRR cast wouldn’t have been as bad. But even then, that would still require entire scenes and chapters to be completely different. And that still doesn’t cover the fans’ eagerness to purposely misinterpret things and project their biases onto Black characters or the writers’ willingness to pander to those fans regardless.

Thankfully, PB didn’t reflect the fans’ view of Kiara as a Jezebel in the writing (which is honestly a bit surprising considering how much they catered to Drake stans and the fact that they have used the stereotype before in other stories as you pointed out). But given this essay and what I remember of this series myself, I just want to briefly point out and comment on some of the other stereotypes and real world experiences I noticed PB perpetuating and reflecting within TRR.

The first is the scene where Drake and MC can prank Kiara by dumping out her hair products. I haven’t read the scene or romanced Drake myself, but I think the inclusion of that at all is… let’s say interesting… considering the fact that attacking Black women’s physical appearance and beauty is often one of the first things non-Black people do when they feel threatened in any way. And of course, the prank seems fairly harmless in the grand scheme of things and is nowhere near equivalent to real life policing of Black hair. However that particular option appearing after the overall rage/jealousy of Drake stans toward Kiara isn’t really something that can be ignored.

The next is all of the questioning, mocking, and challenging of Kiara’s skills and capability. This one especially rubs me the wrong way because it’s such a common microaggression, but I feel like most people didn’t even notice it in the story and definitely don’t irl. Like Olivia is lauded as some sort of badass super spy who Cordonia couldn’t survive without even though she does nothing with any of the intel she manages to get…. But sure, Kiara is the one with delusions of grandeur who needs to prove that she’s as capable as she says she is 🤨

And coming off of that, I think it’s very telling how a lot of the fans take issue with Kiara’s perceived “snobbishness”, but ignore it or find it amusing when Olivia, Madeleine, or anyone else at court acts the same way if not worse. If it were an issue with classism and arrogance in general, then surely Olivia, Madeleine, etc. wouldn’t be exempt from criticism/backlash, right? But they usually are and are even seen as people who deserve to be cocky… so then what could possibly be the issue now??

And once again, I feel compelled to point out how a lot of the time Black people can’t escape the ugly realities of the world that we live in even in fiction. We can’t be too beautiful, too smart, too aware of our accomplishments, or too comfortable in prestigious spaces lest we threaten the inherent superiority of everyone else. Society holds us to a higher standard yet expects so little of us at the same time. And unfortunately, Kiara and many of PB’s other Black characters are indicative of all of this

Drake and Kiara: When You're Fucking Racist

Series - TRR's Alternative LIs - The "Romances" that Didn't Happen

Previous - Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims

A/N: Again, apologies for the length. There was a LOT to unpack in this one!! I'm really, really not going to be nice to Drake here. It was harrowing to go through a lot of these scenes again and I honestly don't have the patience or inclination to sugarcoat any of it.

CW: Mentions of gun violence and minimization of trauma. Mentions of racist fan vitriol towards a black character. Examination of the Jezebel stereotype.

Whenever I think about how unhinged the hatred towards Kiara (and especially towards Kiara's attraction to Drake) was, a specific edit comes to mind.

On the surface, it looks quite simple. Kiara in a white wedding dress, Drake right next to her in his blue formal suit. Both of them are smiling at the viewer. The background is a beautiful forest, and the entire picture is bathed in a lovely, muted sepia tone. A sweet, simple wedding scene.

The caption underneath this edit?

Classify under things no one asked for.

Kiara's dream come true!

The tags read "#i barf a little looking at this" and "#i must post to share the suffering". You find out in the comments that the OP created this edit inspired by one of the many fics where Kiara was Drake's stalker, and intended to make her creepy and deranged (but ultimately failed).

The comments are...tbh, things that this fandom has long since normalized and shrugged at when it comes to Drake stans. Multiple puke-face emojis. Multiple gifs signaling disgust. One stan even equates the ship name (Driara) to the word diarrhoea.

"She looks very stalkeresque and white "I drugged Drake so he's marrying me" wedding ready!"

"Well it's close to Halloween so we should expect scary shit"

"THAT is why I made that bitch my Maid of Honor...so she got the message LOUD AND CLEAR...it ain't NEVER gonna happen honey" (right below a barfing gif)

I wish I could say this example of Kiara hatred was the worst of the lot, or even the only one. It wasn't. I'm not sure even an entire essay would be adequate space to explore the sheer levels of vitriol, hatred and double standards dumped on this one character.

Until now, we've seen examples of alternative LIs that were treated with respect. With adulation. Often with kid gloves in case we hurt their poor lill fee-fees. Up until now, no matter what an alternative LI may have done, the LI matched with them wasn't allowed to treat them badly, nor was the MC able to get away with hurting them without punishment.

But in this series, Kiara was, is, and will always be an anomaly.

The Jezebel Stereotype

In most media, black women in particular tend to be subjected to a variety of stereotypes that often have serious, real-world implications. The Mammy, the Sapphire (that over time evolved to what we now know as the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype) and the Jezebel, being the most prominent ones among them. In this essay, I will be focusing specifically on the last.

An article in the Black Then website explains the definition and history of the trope this: "The portrayal of black women as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype. The descriptive words associated with this stereotype are singular in their focus: seductive, alluring, worldly, beguiling, tempting, and lewd. Historically, white women, as a category, were portrayed as models of self-respect, self-control, and modesty – even sexual purity, but black women were often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory. This depiction of black women is signified by the name Jezebel."

So it isn't altogether uncommon to see stories where black women are juxtaposed against "pure", "innocent" white/white-passing women, and viewed as lesser. PB hasn't exactly escaped these stereotypes in their stories either - though there are a variety of characters and character types, we can't deny that there was a time when a black woman was made the antagonist, often in ways that were meant to measure her up to the MC/another white woman to her detriment.

(VoS screenshots from the HIMEME YouTube channel, ACOR screenshots from Vika Avey's YouTube channel)

Two very prominent examples of PB using this trope are Scarlett from VoS, and Xanthe from ACOR. There are other black women who serve as antagonists but in a more professional space, but these two particularly are measured on their attractiveness, sex appeal and "purity" in the narrative in comparison to either the MC, or someone close to them.

In VoS, Scarlett Emerson and Kate O'Malley are the sisters of the two male LIs (Grant and Flynn), but their treatment couldn't be any more different. Scarlett's role in the book is pretty short-lived. She's very prominent in the first half of the book as Kate's potential MOH who secretly hates her, before it's revealed in Ch 5 that Tanner was cheating on Kate with her (and that she'd loved him since she was a child). Notably, in that very scene, the MC places most of the blame on Scarlett (rather than on Tanner for choosing to betray his fiancée) by labelling the act as her seduction of him.

Thereafter she is either only mentioned, or has blink-and-you-miss-it appearances in one or two chapters. We see her in the "memory" portion of the bonus scene, but we are never shown what her future is like (even as minor characters like Miss Harleney get one!). Her bonus scene shows us how her bracelet ended up on Tanner's boat, and it is an uncomfortable scene to get through. Tanner berates Scarlett for having sex with him a week before his wedding, but it is she who points out that he asked her to come there! Yet the MC and others view her as the temptress who "seduced" Tanner, as if the man had no mind of his own.

The narrative often juxtaposes her with Kate, the pure, innocent, sweet fiancée (and she actually is! No pretence there) and the fandom lapped it up. There were many demands for Kate to be upgraded to LI status, which eventually resulted in PB allowing us to marry her if we chose. As I mentioned earlier, both Scarlett and Kate are sisters to two of our LIs - but one is made an LI, while no one bothers to even imagine what the other's future entails.

An even worse fate greets that of Xanthe, the sole female antagonist in ACOR. The slut-shaming and disgust over her overt sexuality is far more blatant here. And it is extremely ironic for Xanthe to be viewed in this way, because the MC herself is a courtesan and uses wiles to get men to do her bidding. While Xanthe herself is not perfect by any means - she is depicted as xenophobic and callous, going as far as to mock Syphax when he is sent away to a possible death as a gladiator - the MC's targeting of her goes beyond just her "righteous indignation" and develops into a form of hypocrisy. She has no qualms mocking Xanthe for her direct approach or her skimpy red dress (even though the MC herself wears a skimpy red dress and can seduce a man in a temple not too long after).

The end Xanthe meets is horrific in its implications - the black matron of her scholae (who began by promising the MC herself that "you need do nothing against your will") sends her away to sexual slavery in Sicily, while the black man who was one of the few bastions of morality in the book, escorts her, smiling, to the ship that will take her there. As far as the narrative is concerned, the end was well-deserved...even though PB has had no issues allowing white women to do far worse without any punishment.

We cannot view what ACOR did with Xanthe in isolation. They had built up to it early on - from the MC's reactions towards her, her patrons' dismissiveness of her, the MC's LIs' viewing her with derision and zero respect. The MC - despite her own unscrupulousness - is viewed as the "noble whore" to Xanthe, yet it is clear on even a surface read that there is not much difference between the two women.

The Jezebel stereotype, ultimately, is about dehumanizing the black woman it focuses on, so that her actions and choices are viewed as deviant from what is "normal" - feeding into either responses of disgust and derision, or a desire to objectify her. To some readers, it makes whatever awful or comparatively unfair end they meet, more palatable. Scarlett and Xanthe are not viewed as people by the narrative - especially not the way the MC of their books or even white female antagonists are. No one cares for their backstories, coos over their losses, wonders if they are okay. When they meet their inevitable end, the characters and so many in the fandom alike just shrug and move along.

How does a character like Kiara fit into this? Her smarts and linguistic talents are her most prominent traits, and while she does have feelings for Drake, she never really acts out-of-pocket towards him (more on this later). So at least from what we see in canon, there's very little about her that seems to apply to the Jezebel stereotype. Yet, the fandom is not only inclined, but eager, to view her as one. Kiara's feelings have been viewed in a far more predatory light, perhaps more often than any other female character in the series. Why is this so?

A response I have often seen - on reddit, on Kiara's wiki page, at times on Tumblr too - is how there is a "certain something" about Kiara that people "just don't like". Many players who prefer Penelope to her are often very aware of what she has done, but still insist they like her far more than they do Kiara. On a reddit thread about questioning the logic of having Kiara and Penelope as options for the MC's MOH in TRR3, certain players commented thus:

"I don't know why, I just dislike her a lot. Penelope is fine to me, but Kiara irritates me." (said commenter is an Aerin stan)

"I liked Penelope, I thought she was nice. But Kiara got on my nerves."

In her book, The Sisters Are Alright, Tamara Winfrey Harris makes an eye-opening (to me at least!) observation about how misogynoir works:

"Misogynoir, abetted by dehumanizing caricature, is like water. It fills its vessel, taking many forms, and then overflows, creeping unnoticed into the cracks of things, rotting the foundation. It spreads a belief in Black women’s inherent wrongness." (Italics mine).

Now of course, if I were to ask the current fandom, they would come up with a range of reasons. Some that emerged from fandom myths and became more popular than the truth in time, some from PB's excessive pandering to players that hated her. But the root of it all is in a certain "je ne sais quoi" that makes her automatically unappealing, resulting in those readers leaning towards misreading or misremembering her scenes, misrepresenting her motives, or watering down the impact of worse actions from whiter women. It results in a group of writers (who have thus far gone to the extent of retconning the worst of a white woman's actions just to make her look good) leaning into such readings, even when they're not true.

TRR1 Kiara: Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake?

"Kiara is fake", "Kiara is a snob", "Kiara is self-serving", "Kiara promised to be friends with us but dropped us like a hot potato the moment we became unpopular". These are some of the most enduring takes about Kiara in the past few years, and readers who say this usually bring up a vague recollection of TRR1 and 2 as proof. Mostly that "Kiara was our friend" in the first book, and left us hanging at the beginning of TRR2.

Is that reading based in fact, though? Let's take a look at TRR1!Kiara and find out.

We are introduced to Kiara (along with Penelope, and standing next to Hana) in TRR3 when we meet Liam's other suitors. Olivia introduces each woman differently, and the descriptor she uses for Kiara is that she is the "daughter of a diplomat and fluent in ten languages" (note: Kiara never boasts of her linguistic skill, Olivia does. Nor are there any scenes of her looking down on anyone who doesn't speak her mother tongue French, unless of course you accidentally ask her to sleep with you).

Both she and Penelope note immediately that the MC doesn't quite fit in - if the MC questions the women about being allies with Olivia, a woman who calls them "harpies", they view that as an overreaction. When the MC tells the ladies at the Derby about getting lost, Kiara finds her tardiness and inability to fit in, a sign that she cannot keep up with the competition. Until the chapters in Lythikos, Kiara's and Penelope's characterizations are almost interchangeable, personality-wise. It is likely the team envisioned them more as European nobility rather than specifically Cordonian (based on Olivia's introductions), and they are both depicted as poised, refined and aware of their place in court.

It's in Lythikos that Kiara, at least, begins to show a more distinct personality (for Penelope it's after the Regatta). Unlike the rest of the court, who watches Olivia's unwanted kiss on Liam with either mild shock or disinterest, Kiara is angered by what she sees as a very obvious power-play - which gives the MC the opening she needs to gain an alliance.

Now this "alliance" scene of Kiara's is interesting, for two reasons. One is that fandom often uses this scene to establish her "double standards" in TRR2, claiming that Kiara opted to be friends with the MC. Yet nowhere in the scene does the MC or Kiara ever suggest a friendship with each other - they both agree to an alliance. Furthermore, this is an arrangement that benefits the MC more - there isn't exactly anything she contributes (or is expected to contribute) to Kiara from her end. Kiara's promise is that she will put in a good word in the MC's favour, and she upholds that promise throughout the social season.

Another is that among the courtiers, Kiara herself is the first person to identify and respond to the MC's potential if she shows it at the Derby and the tea party (though Hana is also a courtier, I view her strictly as an LI in this context - since her support is by default and is founded on a more emotional basis). Not many nay notice this, but there is a distinction between how Kiara responds to an MC in a successful play vs a failplay...in a way that none of the other suitors do. Take note of the screenshots below:

The top two pictures in this collage are dialogues that feature by default. The bottom two, however, are dependent on branch-coding. They only appear IF the MC has managed to win the approval of the King, the Queen and the press. If you don't succeed in the same, she will not mention your performance in the social season at all, nor will she say anything about the value of your alliance.

That is a far bigger deal than most players of this series realize. It means that Kiara has been watching us closely, and has understood our potential over the course of just three court events. Only two other characters are shown tracking our progress this way: Bertrand (who is our sponsor, so he has to keep track) and Queen Regina (who can guess already her stepson's feelings for the MC, which automatically makes her a person of interest). For Kiara to understand the MC's capabilities, and to openly admit she has potential this early in the competition - it takes a high level of rationality, honesty and pragmatism to come to such a conclusion. Unlike Olivia (who lashes out in jealousy at the MC), Penelope (who has to be told why exactly it's good to have allies), and Madeleine (who dismisses us as competition until it's too late), Kiara actually views the MC with a discerning, impartial eye and an objective approach.

So on the surface, it appears as if Kiara is written by a team that likes her! You could almost be convinced that they thought she was cool but were forced to pander to "crazy Drake stans" in their writing later (which is an argument I have heard often). After all, she's established as beautiful, skilled, smart and observant. You wouldn't do that for a character you don't like, right?

But even as early as TRR1, a disdain for Kiara creeps in from the writing that you rarely see for any of the others.

This is especially apparent when you look at how Kiara's proficiency with language is spoken about. It is supposed to be her most visible skill - Olivia identifies her by it, we see her peppering her English sentences with French words (of course, many may argue that she doesn't exactly sound like an actual French person...but let's remember that her writers aren't exactly very used to the language themselves or interested in doing extra research for authenticity!). As we approach the end of the first book, there are at least two dialogue options that result in people doubting her abilities or mocking her for speaking only English and French most of the time.

In TRR1 Ch 16, Madeleine optionally speaks to the MC over phone (believing her to be a reporter taking her interview) about her thoughts on Kiara. Kiara's tendency to speak mostly in French and English is supposed to be a sign that she "exaggerates her accomplishments". Mind you, this is from the same woman who claims to be the best choice for Cordonia despite her poor strategies and her antagonizing potential allies during the engagement tour (TRR2); who complains if the MC doesn't compliment her for mediocre work as a press sec (TRR3). The MC can also choose to diss Kiara in a similar way, treating Kiara like she is a circus performer and her skills as if they are meant for the MC's entertainment. The only solace I could derive from this dumpster fire of a dialogue option, was that Kiara managed to shut the MC up with her multilingual response.

No other time are we allowed to call a courtier's abilities and skills into question. The MC accepts on faith that Olivia is a badass with great fighting skills. Same with Penelope's ability as a seamstress. The MC is never even allowed to have legitimate complaints about Madeleine's work as press sec, besides maybe that she could "be a little nicer". So the fact that the writers not only have other characters doubt Kiara's talent, but also allow people to mock her about it in all three books...is really something.

Another possible indicator of this disdain is the fact that Kiara is the only suitor who never gets a chance to actually interact with Liam on-screen. Even Penelope, a fellow minor character, can approach and talk to him twice...and her gift to him is shown in Ch 18 whereas Kiara's and Hana's aren't. Despite the fact that Kiara is a potential suitor, the story never allows her to interact with Liam. She doesn't exactly have any interactions with Drake in this book either, but honestly nor does any other couple have much time together besides Liam and Olivia.

Drake and Kiara hardly seemed to be a possibility back in TRR1. Drake himself didn't seem to associate with anyone besides the MC and the group in the first book (and even with the group his interactions were infrequent). Kiara herself doesn't have many scenes that aren't related to the court or to the competition, even once she is no longer participating. The closest she comes to any sort of association besides Penelope, is a friendship with Hana that begins sometime before the Fox Hunt. Drake and Kiara never actually have any scenes together, or interactions, or references. It is likely that the idea to pair them up was entirely a Book 2 thing.

On a fandom level, neither Kiara or Penelope garnered much attention or fan reactions. They weren't noticed much, nor did you see their scenes too often. Probably that is why it was so damn easy to remember Kiara's entire equation with the MC wrong. Why certain stans of the book were able to get away with misrepresenting the relationship between her and the MC in TRR1, to hate on her in TRR2. I will not deny, though, that certain dialogue choices from PB (like "I thought we were friends!" in the Fydelia scene) may have had a hand in those beliefs becoming the "truth".

TRR2 Kiara - Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake (Part 2)

I plan to get into the way the Drake and Kiara angle is framed in canon, but before that it's important to tackle that one elephant in the room - Kiara telling the MC the alliance is over. Because very often, people used this scene (coupled with their misinterpretations of Book 1) as their "justification" to hate her. Often, people would choose the ruder options (such as the Christmas card dialogue) and assume that Kiara was rude by default, rather than as a consequence of the MC's behaviour towards her.

Kiara and Penelope are the first to express surprise at the MC's return (and their reactions are shown as representative of the rest of the court). Kiara in fact is shocked that the MC dared to return (which is kinda warranted! Several people in these early chapters view that as a risky move, a gamble that could backfire on her. That's why Bertrand gets her a press secretary). Their scene with the MC immediately follows the MC's conversation with Liam and Madeleine (and mind you, in the option where the MC can tell her she was set up, Madeleine herself voices disbelief of the same. Conveniently, this is never used as a reason to hate her). Both women let the MC know of their change in status, and therefore the change in their relationship with her.

What gets missed overall, is that Kiara is a lady-in-waiting (which is an actual role with specific duties) to Madeleine, which means her loyalty now has to lie with this woman whether she likes it or not. For her to even agree to approach the MC and explain the situation, is a risk. In at least two dialogue options in this scene, she tells the MC straight-up that they will be in trouble if they're even seen talking to her (this becomes a moot point by Ch4, mostly because Madeleine herself is shown talking to the MC and allowing her into conversations in public, once Hana arrives).

Penelope is often viewed in a better light in this scene because of her obvious friendliness and her sadness at no longer being the MC's friend, but once you have the reveal of her being a traitor, her behaviour in this scene seems wildly disingenuous, and I'm surprised more people didn't call her a fake when the reveal came out. She had to know the allegations against the MC were fake when she rushed to hug her, having been an integral part of that fabrication. It makes her lament when she's caught, in the failplay, ("I can't do anything right. You were never supposed to find out!") that much more chilling. She is eager to have the benefit of the MC's friendship and emotional support, without ever being honest about her role in smearing her reputation.

The other was that - no matter what you may choose to think of this scene - Kiara was placing herself at risk to let the MC know it was over. Approaching the MC was the right thing to do, but what is never spoken about is the fact that it was also a brave thing to do. Rather than ghost the pariah of the court and never give an explanation, she tells her honestly what the situation is, and strives to protect her impulsive friend (who could get both of them in trouble) at the same time.

When you view Kiara's actions from that lens - when you look at the facts - suddenly the claims that Kiara was "fake", "a flip-flopper", "a backstabber", "unscrupulous and self-serving", sound pretty hollow.

TRR2: The Drake x Kiara "Romance" Begins...and So Does the Vitriol

So...an interesting thing about the general reaction to Kiara in the early chapters of TRR2. I was new to the fandom when this book was released. There was an annoyance at Kiara when the first chapter came out, but to my surprise it didn't exactly become full-blown hatred until she started showing an interest in Drake in Ch 3.

This book is often used as a reference by Drake stans when they speak of Kiara as an obsessed, stalker-type, sex-hungry woman - often in contrast to their "pure", "innocent" MCs. Basically...the Jezebel. But the five scenes we see of this ship in the book itself tell a completely different story:

1. Drake Helps Kiara Lift A Heavy Beam (TRR2 Ch 3)

Chapter 3 is perhaps the first time we see an indication of Kiara's attraction to Drake on a physical level. The scene takes place at the barn raising, but only if we choose to stay with Drake over Hana for the barn raising activities. Kiara shows up in a rather pitiable state - her friend Penelope abandoned her for thirty whole minutes, leaving her to lift incredibly heavy beams alone. Drake helps Kiara and mildly chides her for not asking for his help, and Kiara stares at his bare chest, mesmerized.

She isn't exactly alone in this - the MC herself ogles at his bare chest at one point (if we go by the lines in the narrative that read "his muscles glisten in the sunlight" which is def from the MC's PoV). This scene was meant as fanservice for stans who wanted to drool over Drake's physique for a bit, and belatedly build up an alternative (at least for all three male LIs, they were trying to do this in TRR2).

The MC can either point out Kiara's obvious attraction towards Drake, or suspect her of being part of the plot. This will not be the last time the MC or the group will view her with suspicion, with little to no basis in fact. In the option that calls attention to Kiara's attraction to Drake, she is shown covertly sneaking a second look at him. Drake is shown with a visible discomfort at even the idea that Kiara could like him, one that only the MC notices considering she is working in proximity with him.

The reaction to this was instantaneous from several Drake x MC shippers. One or two glances at Drake's chest was enough for Drake stans to begin typing posts in capslock, screaming "BACK OFF KIARA HE'S MINE". The excuses given at the time were that the MC didn't get much opportunity to romance him (Drake was trying to refrain from kissing her in Ch 2 because he felt guilty), and largely-inaccurate judgements of Kiara's character. Jealousy of this kind is sometimes seen as the norm when you have a popular ship and a third angle is created, but this was about to take form in some...very disturbing ways in later chapters.

2. Kiara was Once Savannah's Friend/Kiara's long-standing crush on Drake (Ch 4)

A misconception I often see in the fandom (particularly in relation to how Kiara's feelings for Drake aren't given the same level of consideration that Olivia's for Liam is) is that Olivia's are "more genuine", and Kiara's are "mere lust" or "only physical" and this is probably why she's not given as much respect as Olivia was. Even though, tbh, Kiara was far, far more respectful of Drake and his personal space, than Olivia was of Liam in TRR1.

Leaving aside the obvious problems with that train of thought (viewing sexual feelings as "lesser" just because they're not rooted in some intense emotion), this is not even true, and the first part of the Driara garden party scene is proof enough. Kiara says, straight up, that Drake had been "such a good friend to [Liam]. It's part of why I always liked you." (Bold mine). If the MC voices doubts about this (likely incorporated for readers who would question it as a retcon...and it was a retcon since they didn't interact in TRR1), Kiara tells her that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, which actually matches her practical approach to most things. In fact just a few scenes earlier, when the MC questioned her about wanting a husband (when she'd mentioned earlier about wanting to join the ministry), Kiara informs her that it would never hurt to have both. So it makes sense for her character if she's someone who kept her feelings for Drake a secret, especially while in a competition for winning the Crown Prince's hand. But we cannot, in any honest capacity, claim that Kiara's feelings for Drake weren't deep enough, or lasting enough, or genuine enough. At least based on the evidence we have.

Another point this scene brings up is Kiara's friendship towards Savannah. Up until this point, the only people who did reference her were Olivia, Drake and Maxwell - and Olivia's mockery of especially seemed to imply that the ladies of the court weren't very nice to her. Kiara's account is very different from this, and actually quite affectionate ("she was one of us", "she was coming along so well in learning French"). It's not the closest friendship, but Kiara did care enough to tutor her in the language and clearly missed her. It is possible that this scene was positioned to both build up to the alternative romance and foreshadow Savannah's presence in Paris. There is a lot more that could have been done with this angle, but perhaps that is a discussion for another section.

3. Never-Have-I-Ever (Ch 9)

This is a small option in a drinking game - the MC can get to say "never have I ever had a crush on Kiara", and loses, because Drake says she isn't his type (ironically he claims he isn't her type in the next chapter). It's interesting that he does consider her as not as bad as some of the others in that group.

3. Flirting with Drake in Paris (Ch 10)

For five chapters, we don't see any more hints of this romance. We see Drake in plenty, and we see quite a bit of Kiara. But none of it shows them together.

Kiara's scene with Drake at the tea party, is in some ways a continuation of his diamond scene with Savannah. He knows now where his sister is and what her big secret was, but this scene is where he realises how little he actually knew about her, if even her "noblewoman friend" knew she had intentions to go to Paris and he, her brother, didn't. This scene also takes place at what I call a "rest period" in the story - the group has just come out of a high-intensity altercation with Bastien, and it is one chapter before the major reveal about Constantine. So the MC can relax a little, some of the loose ends of previous stories can be tied up, and we get a vibe check on at least two alternative ships.

Drake is rather civil to Kiara in this conversation, mostly because he's trying to get information about his sister out of her. There isn't much he contributes besides this - it doesn't seem to matter much to him that Kiara was a rare friend among the court to Savannah (tho TRR3 would later retcon this), and when she talks about herself he doesn't pay much attention. Kiara does make an attempt at a light flirtation which goes largely unnoticed.

The MC's response when she first sees them goes three ways - a neutral comment about the petit-fours, a "matchmake-y" comment that points to them that they "look cozy", and a "jealous" comment about interrupting them. The third one especially results in Drake inadvertently confirming he doesn't think of Kiara in a romantic light, and Kiara appearing disappointed. Remember, at this point she doesn't see much evidence that Drake and the MC romancing him are an item.

The follow-up conversation with Drake, too, follows along similar lines. The neutral comment just asks him about the information he gathered from Kiara, the "matchmake-y" one points out she has feelings for Drake and the "jealous" one is... something.

The third response is very obviously crafted for the more possessive Drake stans to get satisfaction from dissing Kiara, perhaps in a more aggressive way than the Maxwell stans could. While the Maxwell MC can pass an insult or two to discourage Penelope, the Drake MC will go as far as to tell him he belongs only to her, and can threaten to "push her into the petit-fours".

Ironically, this scene follows a scene with Olivia about her lingering feelings for Liam - and Olivia's grief, the MC's clear sympathy and Liam's concern for Olivia are all by default. There is a certain level of sensitivity the Liam MC is required to have for Olivia that is never once expected of the Drake MC, and that plays out in very dangerous ways in the next book.

This scene, again, brought forth rather violent reactions, and in fact the language of the MC's responses itself seemed to encourage that kind of response. A poster later compiled an entire set of these responses ranging from mocking, to "back off, Kiara!" to straight up demands for murder (I couldn't link to this post because the names of the people involved were included in it, but I do have quite a few of those screenshots for reference).

After this point, you don't see any more scenes where Kiara actively flirts. In fact for most of the second half you see her and Penelope very rarely. So it does feel really wild in retrospect that "obsessed Kiara" became such a popular interpretation, after one checking-out scene, one flirtation and one rather sweet and genuine compliment of him as a person.

4. Pranking Kiara (Ch 17)

A pattern you would have noticed by now is that there is a bit of a mean streak in Drake for Kiara that is either very dominant or latent, based on whether the MC tries to encourage him, or shows jealousy towards her.

And this isn't necessarily an indicator that he can never be interested in Kiara. A distrust for nobility is almost a norm for him at this point, and let's not forget that Drake's first few interactions with the MC too didn't exactly leave her with the best impression of him either. Kiara initially being on Madeleine's side at the beginning of the story could be a factor in some level of disdain too. Such complications could - in a good story - add layers to a potential romance in the future if that was the direction the writing was going for.

Around the MC who doesn't mind them as a pair, he shows a small sliver of an inclination towards Kiara herself. His response if the MC points out that Kiara was flirting with him (Ch 10) is that he doesn't believe he is Kiara's type, not the other way around. In this scene, a drunk Drake who is encouraged to write a "nice note" to her as a prank, can write "your hair is pretty and your French is totally not stupid". Both of these lines present a sign of a possibility that a romance could happen. His behaviour when an MC casually hints at this possibility, is of someone who may like this woman deep down, but show it in very strange ways (akin to the age-old metaphor of the "boy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he has a crush on"). They wouldn't have even needed to show his responses in this way if they weren't trying to hint at a possibility.

His response to a "jealous" MC is to delightedly bask in her possessiveness of him, and to go hand-in-glove with her as she insults or suggests violence on Kiara in any way. Now one could perhaps headcanon this as a behaviour that comes from being unused to female attention focused on him, coupled with his affection for the MC - but when you take into account his behaviour towards Kiara herself in TRR3 as well, there seems to be a blatant lack of consideration or compassion towards her as a human being. Compare this, again, to the way Liam's behaviour towards Olivia is written in canon, and interpreted by the fandom. Liam is expected to be kind to her, even if he's clueless about her feelings or if she is harming him (eg. Even when she kisses him, he cares enough to opt for a reaction that will not publicly humiliate Olivia).

Not so for Drake. He is very happy to follow in the MC's lead, even in hurting Kiara. And in this scene, he pretty much kickstarts it with the suggestion of a prank.

Drake knows where Kiara's room is (thanks to a nameplate on the door, and the familiarity of the hallway, which he likes for the view outside) and wants to prank her. The MC can either accept or refuse. If she accepts, there is one nice option, and two distinctly mean-spirited ones. The first proposes to mess up her book organizational system, and the narrative describes the attempt as "ruining any semblance of order to Kiara's bookshelves". These are materials she likely requires for her career as an aspiring diplomat, or even books she uses to update herself on the world. But to this MC and Drake, her work and interests are little more than a joke.

The second one is not only aggressively mean - it also is an attempt to ruin her personal space with her personal items. Going by the array of haircare the narrative mentions, maintaining her hair is very important to Kiara (I am not equipped enough to speak about black women and their relationship with their hair, but this option did make me very uncomfortable, because of the little I've seen on how essential regular haircare and good products can be for many black women). Not only does the MC suggest using all that product to render Kiara's bed practically unusable, she also insists Drake waste the full bottle of said product. Because, yknow. "It's a prank. Go big or go home". Drake has one moment where he tries to be less mean in this option (when he attempts to use less of her hairspray), but the moment the MC encourages him towards a crueller direction he does not hesitate. In fact, when the MC first suggests this option, he regards her with something approaching awe, and praises her as "an evil genius".

There's a mean streak in Drake here no matter which option you choose. If you do go for the nicer one, he complains at first that it's not exactly a prank and in fact does claim that they "could still put glitter in her cupboard" as an alternative prank. But the other two options encourage the player to give full vent to whatever underlying frustration/enmity/hatred one could possibly have against Kiara, goading a drunk Drake to be merciless towards the things in her room, in her absence.

Maybe, perhaps, one could just view this as a "fun vent" for the "possessive stans". It allowed the Drake MC and her LI the chance to gang up on her, mock her and cause her discomfort through things that were clearly important to her, treat her like the butt of their joke, and get away with it. When you encourage that kind of hatred with your writing, it can go into some very dark, disturbing places. And it did, especially in TRR3.

The overall response to this scene didn't show much, since it was just one small sequence in a larger scene - and most of the focus was on the heartfelt bonding between Drake and the MC when he takes her to his "special hideout" and his reveal about his motives behind calling the MC by her surname.

Many Drake stans, however, took note of this specific section, and took their interpretations in a completely different direction. Questions were asked about why Drake knew about Kiara's room - completely ignoring that he frequented the hallway regardless for its view and her nameplate is literally placed outside her door - and several fans suspected the two to be involved in an affair just on the basis of him knowing where her room was. These suspicions, again, would crop up from the fandom in a more dramatic way in TRR3.

5. Drinks at Homecoming Ball (Ch 19)

This scene takes place in the finale, just before Kiara and Penelope apologize jointly to the MC for their comments in the beer garden.

Drake is, quite predictably, at the bar in this scene. In some ways one could draw a parallel between this one and the "bar" scene between him and the MC in TRR1 - the only differences being that the two were alone in the first, and that he and the MC are free to romance each other now. However this time, the two ladies of the court could also communicate with him about drinks, and he could use his knowledge of alcohol to guess their preferences.

The scene with Kiara is, again, written to be both a possible sign of familiarity and a diss (mostly the second, I think). With Penelope he just vaguely mentions cocktails and focuses on the decoration for the drink - with Kiara he is able to name the specific wine even though in TRR3 he has no idea what tannins are. There are ways one could envision that as a sign that he notices more about Kiara than he lets on.

The diss, of course, comes with his claim that no matter how top-shelf the wine is, it will still always be "old grape juice" (which is a very strange thing to say because most alcohols are fermented from basic ingredients be it fruit or grains - where did he think his high-quality whiskey that he regularly carries around in his personal flask came from??).

Kiara's attempt to impress him is pretty obvious, but the diss isn't something that weighs too much on her mind. There are less indicators here of a dejection if he brushes her aside, unlike the scene in Ch 10 - she just looks a bit surprised he could guess the exact drink she wanted. Kiara in this scene is more likely to shift gears to something more important. In this case, that is apologizing to the MC for what she views as poor behaviour that sprung up under the influence of alcohol, and offering her an olive branch (the specific apology is for her asking the MC if she came to gloat, not for telling her the alliance was over at the beginning of the tour. In that scene specifically she feels she has nothing to apologise for, and I'm inclined to agree for the reasons I stated in that section).

The overall pattern for this ship seems to indicate that it's...kinda there in case the MC doesn't want to pick Drake, but I always feel like they focused a lot more on the jealousy options and didn't spend enough time to see what a possible relationship could look like. They do claim later that Kiara's affections were supposed to be one-sided, but the buildup at least seemed to indicate some small baseline of interest from Drake's end, even if shown in some rather bizarre ways. However, because there seems to be very little respect for this character already, having the MC threaten violence and having her and Drake overreact over what were essentially harmless interactions from Kiara's end really does indicate that the writers didn't mind taking potshots at her whenever they felt like it. Like I've said before, the trashfire that was Kiara's treatment in TRR3 didn't develop overnight.

Smart, Skilled...Disliked?: Kiara and the Writing Team in TRR3

On 25th Sept 2023, PB released a two-chapter series on Storyloom called "Choices Secrets", which involved at least three writers (Andrew, Kara and Chelsa) talking about ideas and plots and backstories that didn't make it to the released book. In one section, Kara Loo speaks specifically about the ending of TRR2:

According to this account, the original idea was to kill off Olivia and possibly use that as a segue into the Nevrakis plot of the book, since her aunt and Justin were the real villains at the end of the series. When they decided to keep her alive in the series, Kara mentions finding "more members of your group get injured, like Drake".

Interestingly, Kara referred to "members" in the plural, and Drake is the only person from the core group to get shot. So it's just as possible that the choice to have Bastien, Justin/Anton and Kiara sustain injuries, was made once they decided to do away with the storyline about Olivia's death.

Olivia got spared because her writers cared for her. Kiara was likely one of the people injured in her stead, and probably the only one out of them (except for the one who was the main villain) who wasn't getting a prominent scene that focused on her being a survivor of the attack until some readers protested (the entire intro of TRR3 was dedicated to Drake recieving tender care from the MC, Bastien gets showered with concern and care from Constantine, Liam and optionally the MC. The MC comes to the estate, makes a perfunctory mention of the injury once and proceeds to emotionally blackmail Kiara into joining the tour. Let's not even talk about Lythikos. That shit warranted its own essay). No matter how much you downplay the situation, the truth is that Kiara got grievously hurt in a terrorist attack and her writers didn't think it was important enough to address.

I often wondered in the beginning, why Kiara was chosen for this. A close friend at the time theorized that perhaps it was done to ensure Madeleine would become our press secretary, because there was no way the MC would be considering her for this position if someone less hostile (like Kiara) was around. Another wondered if we might get opportunities to address palace security through the experiences of the survivors. Being a Drake x Kiara supporter at least by the end of TRR2, I wondered whether it was a coincidence that they both were injured at the same ball, and the possibility of the two bonding over such a painful experience.

Well. Boy was I about to be disappointed.

Because why did Kiara have to be so badly injured, if it was going to amount to nothing? If they weren't even going to address it in her own home? If - after even players who didn't care much for her, noticed the silence around that attack - the best you could offer was a scene that followed the MC and her friends suspecting the victim of this attack??

Had I looked at Kiara's narrative treatment (from TRR1 onwards) closer back then, perhaps I wouldn't have expected so much. It would have occurred to me that maybe they hurt Kiara the most, because they cared for her the least. Kiara is viewed as smart, poised, talented. Madeleine even calls her "one of the more competant courtiers" at some point. But that doesn't always mean that the team that writes her deems her worthy of respect.

For one, the writers tend to lean more into fandom perceptions of her in this book, rather than looking at their own canon. Kiara being a snob is not canon - that is ridiculous considering that she was such good friends with Savannah, and her support of the MC when she fits in well. Kiara acting like her linguistic skill makes her better than anyone else isn't canon either - nor is she obliged to speak in all ten languages on a loop just for the MC's or Maxwell Beaumont's entertainment. Kiara being perpetually mean to her best friend is inaccurate at best - she is often frustrated by Penelope, sure, but she spends far time and energy helping her than anyone else in that court.

Yet the narrative gives both these statements as dialogue options for the MC, where she can bitch about Kiara...but somehow only ever allows the same MC to be nice and caring and loving to Penelope - never once reminding her of the hell she'd put the MC through in the past. And because the fandom expected the Kiara-Penelope friendship to focus only on Penelope, PB got away with having Kiara's "best friend" stay conveniently silent as the MC berated her in her own home. The narrative even threw Kiara under the bus in TRR3 Ch 16, in order to make Madeleine look better in Hana's memories of the TRR2 bachelorette, claiming falsely that Kiara shouted at Penelope so much while drunk, that the latter was brought to tears. There is way more energy spent in painting an inaccurate and negative portrait of Kiara, than there is in showing the truth.

For another, the way the courtiers' and their parents' agreement to join the tour is coded...is extremely suspicious. When you compare both a successful and a failplay, you will find that all the parents have the chance to reject the MC's proposal to join the tour...except for one. Kiara's father, Hakim. In a failplay where you purposely do all the wrong things...out of the entire group of people who are still doubtful about supporting you, only Kiara and Hakim join your tour by default, without any expectation of a reward (Madeleine demands her own department after the wedding). They will be a part of it no matter what you do, no matter your failures, no matter how badly you treat them.

Hakim may have joined mainly to confront his old friend the King, but he still stays on even after Constantine dies. The writers made sure to branch-code things in a way that Kiara and Hakim could never drop out even if the MC was awful to Kiara, and never once acknowledged what it must take for them to do that. After Kiara herself had been fucking stabbed!!!!

Joelle, Kiara's mother, and Ezekiel, Kiara's brother, can reject the offer if they aren't impressed with the MC, but out of these two characters only one is viewed with respect - the one they were going to pair up with Penelope.

The narrative doesn't mind letting the MC mock Joelle for her passionate support of the arts if she doesn't win her approval, and her insistence that it is the sign of a thriving kingdom...and they make her sound petulant and churlish in response to that mockery. This despite the fact that in a successful route, she says one of the most profound political statements in the books:

"Hakim and I don't just want Cordonia to remain stable and peaceful. Those are blessings, naturallement, but our kingdom can do so much more than just survive."

In contrast, when you look at the same failplay, Emmeline and Landon are treated with far more respect from the narrative, even though Hakim and Joelle's plans for the country would benefit Cordonia as a whole. Drake looks up to Penelope's parents as an inspiration, especially if he's going to become a duke. Meanwhile Hakim actually acknowledges Drake and his bravery in a way that none of the other dukes and duchesses did, and Drake never gives a shit.

Emmeline can accuse the MC of not taking their situation seriously, if she does a bad job at the polo match, and the MC only has the grace to look contrite rather than lash out at her. Landon himself is never judged for coddling his daughter the way he does. Their focus on Portavira rather than the country is respected, and the MC not meeting their demands is viewed as her weakness, not an overreaction from their end. They never get the snarky responses Joelle gets, where the MC can outright call her "a handful" in front of her own husband.

And then there is the matter of how PB deals with the problems of all the court ladies.

(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel)

The period of the Unity Tour isn't exactly an easy time for anyone. The LIs each deal with their own shit, and the ladies of the court themselves have their own reasons for being reluctant to return. The entire point of this tour is to address their specific concerns as well as that of their families', because without the courtiers themselves we wouldn't have as strong a court.

In Madeleine's case, we have to talk to her through a diamond scene and then educate her mother on her ways of mourning lost opportunities, among other things. In Penelope's case we are required to give her complete protection and emotional security, for her to even bother joining the tour (there is branch coding where she can refuse to be a part of the tour at all). Even for Olivia - who is already an ally - the diamond scene encourages us to stand up to her aunt, by letting Olivia know that it is valid for her to lean on others for support without being considered weak.

But for Kiara? The best we can come up with, while in her duchy, is some version of - "You're smart. You'd know that if you left now, people will say bad things about Cordonia and then it would be your fault". You either manipulate her, or insult her as being a useless excuse of a diplomat. As I mentioned in another essay, Kiara's comfort is a non-factor. The gap between the care we were expected to give to Madeleine and Penelope, and what we deign to give Kiara in Castelserraillan (which is...well...nothing), is massive. And this gap would only increase - not reduce - in the books to come.

It might seem a bit irrelevant to talk about this, especially when this essay is about Drake and Kiara. But it's important to take note of this inherent disdain the writers had towards this one character - and people close to her. Because it is only too easy to pretend that the writers "got scared of the crazy stans".

Of course the stans had a huge, huge role in this. Of course their vitriol and racism succeeded in bringing about (what I consider) one of the most disgusting dialogue options in this series...or perhaps in any series. But I doubt those "crazy stans" would have gotten this far, without a team that didn't mind being cruel to Kiara.

When the Fandom and Canon are both Heartless: Drake and Kiara in TRR3

As I've mentioned in previous essays in this series, playthrough divergences truly begin in TRR3 (eg. While the playthroughs acknowledge who you chose as endgame by end-TRR2, you can still access diamond scenes through a small tweak that allows you to romance other LIs). And whichever LI didn't get engaged with the MC had indications of a new romantic possibility coming up. These were scenes you wouldn't find in your own playthrough with that LI as your fiancé/e.

Kiara doesn't appear in TRR3 until Ch 7, when the entourage comes to her estate Castelserraillan. There aren't a lot of Drake and Kiara scenes themselves, and I will get into why, section by section.

1. Kiara Greets the Group at Castelserraillan (TRR3 Ch 7)

Many Drake stans - once they found their MCs engaged to Drake in TRR2 - seemed to be practically giddy at the prospect of showing off their newly-engaged status to Kiara, and hurting her through the news. They were perhaps more excited about this than their upcoming wedding.

Well, they got that chance in Ch 7. In every other playthrough, she still holds the same feelings for Drake, and compliments his suit as Drake awkwardly fails to meet her eye. In his specific playthrough, Drake defiantly shows off his relationship with the MC, and Kiara shows a slight wistfulness before she forces herself to be normal then wishes the happy couple well. You'd think that would be enough to satisfy the stans who had been baying for her blood all of the previous book.

A throwaway line about Drake knowing where Kiara's room was, had already raised the heckles of a whole bunch of his stans. Kiara's "wistful look" in her first TRR3 scene somehow added fuel to that fire. Suddenly, you got to see a raging torrent of posts demanding to know if Drake had had an affair with Kiara. Fanfic had already been written about Drake cheating on the MC with Kiara by this point - and some of those headcanons and fanfic hinged on making Drake the innocent/vulnerable one, taken advantage of by this sexy, obsessed woman who would be either a danger to him or would be juxtaposed with the "pure", "virginal", "perfect" MC. Drake would never be the problem here, and none of the stans screaming over the possibility of Drake sleeping with Kiara would dream of blaming him for it. No, Kiara was predatory, Kiara was obsessed, if anything happened between them it would be likely Kiara's fault.

This is where it's important to note, again, that none of the more obvious signs of the "Jezebel" stereotype seem to be used in canon for Kiara. While cruel in her own way, the TRR MC doesn't exactly slut shame her or believe Drake will be unfaithful to her, Kiara isn't accused of seducing (or even trying to seduce) anyone, and she actually places respectful personal boundaries for herself in her attraction to Drake, that she never crosses. She may indulge in a light flirtation with him, try to impress him or simply talk to him - but you will never catch her forcing her sexual attention on him like Olivia did with Liam. Yet in popular fanlore, even Olivia's feelings were often cast in a far more noble light in contrast to Kiara's.

In her essay, The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII, Dr Shannon. L Holland explores the historical and contemporary uses of the Jezebel stereotype in depictions of Black women in popular culture and discourse, especially in contrast to white masculinity (which in these contexts, is often viewed as innocent and blameless - and much of the blame lies with the Jezebel figure). The "Jezebel" stereotype "has come to symbolize both a malign, cunning sexual object and an autonomous, liberated sexual agent" - she is at once an independent sexual being making her own choices, and someone who is "incapable" of reining in her sexual appetite...and is therefore often depicted as not only a threat to the "purer" (and often "whiter" or "lighter skinned") woman, but also dangerous for whoever she is "obsessed" with. And we see this time and again in the discourse around Kiara - the fanfic that depicts her in a range of scenarios (stalker, obsessed lover, abusive girlfriend who will break a bottle over Drake's head, at times even descending into murderer to get the man she wants). Which is how we wound up in a position where Kiara even breathing the same air as Drake was viewed as a threat.

It didn't matter that he was flaunting his love for the Drake MC in that playthrough to send a message to Kiara, or that he stayed silent with the others as his wife badgered her into joining the tour. It didn't even matter that Kiara never got a diamond scene the way the two other women did, despite being the most harmed among the ladies. What mattered was that Kiara existed. Her damn existence was the threat.

2. Cheering for Drake's Victory (Ch 10)

Ch 9 of TRR3 was released to players on April 27th, 2018. Immediately after, a mid-book hiatus was announced, mostly to work on some new art (very possibly the red pandas), work on the wedding, and make changes (such as shifting diamond scenes from character-centric ones to LI specific - they'd already started making changes to LI diamond scenes). The book would return 2 months later, in June.

In a livestream before the hiatus ended, the writers had made it very painfully clear that Kiara's feelings for Drake was one-sided. And by that I mean they really emphasized on the one-sidedness of her affection, almost as if to reassure the panicking stans. This would manifest in any future interactions between the two - both in Drake's single and engaged playthroughs - and any hope that such a pairing would even be hinted at was over. But there was one variation that the team had perhaps neglected to edit out.

A small one-word depiction of Kiara cheering Drake when he wins his duel against Neville, joining his friends to praise him. It really isn't much - just Kiara saying "bravo!" before Savannah rushes up to hug him, which is replaced by a scene of Drake himself going up to the MC and passionately kissing her in his own playthrough. What is definitely striking about this depiction is that Kiara was clubbed with his close friends and his sister, rather than the second group of people that largely represented the larger court (Rashad and Queen Regina) who offer their congratulations.

Given the way the writers wrote any remaining interactions between Drake and Kiara, and the fact that this small appearance doesn't really amount to anything, it is possible that this variation was part of an earlier draft that involved other hints, that the writers failed to notice when they put up Ch 10. If they had, I'm pretty certain it wouldn't have stayed in the book.

3. Leaving Court + Wedding Conversations

Remember how I kept stating in this essay that the narrative was going to take their enthusiastic pandering of the "possessive stans" end of the fandom, to some dark, disturbing places? Well, here we are.

Tbh, the writers could have just stopped showing any interactions between the two, or given Kiara another boyfriend if their aim was simply to show that Drake and Kiara would never be endgame. They had done that with Maxwell and Penelope already...oh. I forgot. They actually wanted us to care for Penelope.

Up until this point, Drake's mean streak re: Kiara was present, but not really as obvious as it gets here. PB takes that cruelty several steps further in these two chapters, starting with Ch 11. Ch 11 was fanservice to the people who shouted abuses and "joked" about killing Kiara in every chance they could get. Ch 12 showed this sentiment at its worst, covered it up with enough fluff so it would be harder for people who liked Kiara to notice...and let those players get away with it.

In Ch 11, Kiara approaches the MC and her group to inform them that she is withdrawing from the tour. Drake is the first to respond to this, remaking at the suddenness of the departure. The MC can speculate on a couple of things, ranging from sympathy (that she might be afraid), selfishness (that she is "bailing out" on the MC) and suspicion (that she is hiding something).

In all three options, a pensive Hana expresses sympathy and encourages the group to "reach out". In all three options, Drake will only view Kiara as a suspect.

Mind you - according to Ch 12, Drake is saying this knowing Kiara was injured at Homecoming Ball...and knowing exactly which weapon she was injured with. Aware that she has gone through an event as traumatic as that (if we go by his "just one step at a time" monologue to Kiara), better aware than most how it would feel...he still opts to act like her motives should be suspicious.

This is further emphasized in the Drake playthrough, through the armory scene that the MC takes with Maxwell.

As I've mentioned in the post on this scene, it is divided into three halves. The first half deals with whoever the MC rejected (either Liam, or Drake in Liam's playthrough). The third is buildup to Lucretia's plans to usurp the throne. The second is supposed to be about the excitement among the members of the court for the wedding, and of course as the only people who come for the tour by default (and Madeleine is already taken for the first scene), Kiara and Hakim are used for this scene!

I will only focus on the Drake version of this scene today. There are a few things you notice straight off the bat:

1. Since this is Drake's playthrough, the narrative seems to do away completely with any lingering feelings Kiara may have had are done away with. In this scene she is quite happy about Drake's wedding - in fact, practically chipper. Literally nothing about her behaviour here serves as a reminder that she once had feelings for him.

2. Drake's response to Kiara attending his wedding ties in pretty well with his earlier default suspicion of her. Unlike Hana who is surprised but also happy that Kiara is attending, he seems to voice it as a doubt or a question. While that makes sense and there is continuity, it's pretty awful that he is allowed to suspect her like this and feel no remorse when the truth about her is revealed.

3. Now as I said in the post, this scene is meant to be a buildup to Drake's ice-palace scene. He speaks about wanting a private, country-style wedding in a natural place there, and Kiara's gentle teasing in this scene is supposed to be an indicator of how much he dislikes the usual fanfare. Okay. Fair enough. You're uncomfortable with the fancy decorations and the insane planning, fine.

4. But it's Drake's attitude towards Kiara in this scene that leaves a bad taste in the mouth (unless you were one of those Drake stans that liked to threaten murder on this character ig). The narrative really went out of their way to make him sound uncommonly angry with her, just for asking about his wedding. He angrily hisses at her to keep her voice down the moment she asks about the wedding, and then lashes out the moment she teases him about his love for the MC and his reluctance to be very public about it in that context. Of course, people who either liked Drake or hated Kiara would downplay this scene - either blaming Kiara for not magically knowing his likes or dislikes, or acting like Drake's behaviour in this scene is no big deal.

And his explanation in the ice palace scene really doesn't cut it as a reason for why he should be this pissed off at Kiara's excitement. There is no real bitterness or resentment tied in with the fancy trappings that are mentioned in that specific scene - it's just that he likes simplicity better. If Kiara doesn't know him well enough to understand that - it's because he has never properly talked to her. She made attempts to converse whenever she could. You can claim he never owed her a conversation - but in that case she doesn't owe him a complete understanding of his wants either. He could have just politely answered the question and changed the subject, or quickly took his leave.

He is well-versed enough in court etiquette by this point that he could have managed to sound civil enough. That he could have made a quick, polite exit. But no, he gave her the kind of anger that one reserves for someone who is kicking a puppy or stealing candy from a child, instead. And it was Kiara's grace that allowed her to view that awful behaviour in a more positive light.

It's pretty clear this scene - and to some extent the framing of the next - was made specifically for those Drake stans who were screaming and throwing tantrums about a possible affair. It was to highlight that there was no way Drake could ever return Kiara's feelings - and the only way they could do that was by making sure he treated her as rudely and inhumanely as possible.

I didn't think it could get any worse than this, when I saw this version of the scene...but then I saw Ch 12.

The Talk

If you were to speak just about fandom reactions to this scene...the responses to Kiara chronicling her trauma after Homecoming Ball, were pretty positive. Plenty chose the middle option "You're suffering from the trauma of the event. You need help", and cooed over Drake's touching little monologue about "taking it one day at a time".

I admit at the time I was fooled too. But one thing did niggle at me as I played both this option, and the "understandably cautious" one (I would later understand that the latter was not very good either - it has a thin veneer of "validating" Kiara's feelings, but it still has the MC and Drake expecting her to put their needs before her own safety and sanity).

Drake was reassuring to an extent in both options, sure. But why were his responses so different? Why was his answer to Kiara so closely tied to whatever point the MC was making, rather than independent of it? After all, he was the one who should be able to better relate to Kiara - wouldn't he have thoughts of his own here? If the MC chose that horrible final option, Drake would correct her and comfort Kiara instead, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he???

It was only when I (reluctantly) pressed that third option ("not as driven as I thought you were") that I understood what Drake's role in this scene was.

He wasn't going to be there for Kiara. He wasn't even sympathetic to her! It wasn't even going to be about two traumatized people connecting over their trauma. Drake was a puppet. He was there to parrot whatever garbage came out of the MC's mouth.

Because in the third - and most horrific - option, the MC is allowed to minimize Kiara's trauma, and mock her ambitions in the face of what she has just gone through. Drake is allowed to agree with her ("sometimes ambassadors have to work in dangerous areas"). Kiara is forced by the same narrative to find value in these words.

And all of this, stems from a scenario where Drake and the MC go in suspecting this woman from the jump. Where Maxwell is happy to make jokes about her being a suspect. Where the only two decent people in this group - Liam and Hana - are conveniently written out of the scene, ensuring that these ghouls can act the way they want around Kiara, and get away with it.

Not once is Kiara herself ever allowed to know that the group suspected her by default, nor is she allowed to go through with her intention to leave court. The very roots of this scene are rotten.

Very often, when this scene in particular is addressed, not many people actually address Drake's behaviour here - or in the previous chapter. Stans will vaguely, and conveniently, blame the group as a whole rather than their favourites. Such a tactic allows them to never name the specific people or specific actions, and therefore the main people involved in speaking to Kiara the way they did never have to be held accountable. This is particularly relevant in the case of Drake.

It was Drake's idea to interrogate her. He was the one constantly harping about her "suspicious behaviour". He was the one aware of what happened to her yet chose to think of her as shady. He was the one who should have known better, yet was absolutely game to minimize her trauma or engage in emotional blackmail. And neither he nor the MC came out of this conversation feeling anything resembling remorse. Because, apparently, they never did anything wrong.

They got what they wanted. At best, Drake and the MC manipulated this woman (again) into returning to their court. At worst, they badgered and bullied her into that decision. Either way, she was going to return, and the narrative was going to pretend that the MC and Drake were great people for making it happen.

I have heard some justifications over the years for Drake's behaviour here. One is that he "tends to act like an asshole to everyone". Another is that Kiara is a noble so he was never going to see her in a positive light. Which is hilarious to me, honestly, because in the same book you have Drake reassure Penelope - the woman who had made the MC the target of a reputation-ending scandal - and comfort her when she sees Madeleine. If this was really about the chip on the shoulder he had for nobility, why was he so kind to Penelope? And if Penelope's mental health warranted a change in mindset and behaviour from Drake's end, why was Kiara not worthy of that as well?

The truth is this. Drake was allowed to express his mean streak to a black woman, bully a black woman (the pranks), lash out at a black woman (the conversation at the Lythikos Ball), suspect a black woman, and finally minimize her trauma if the Duchess he had a crush on wanted to. While being overly protective and chivalrous to the white woman who actually did harm her. No matter what way you spin it, that is what Drake's behaviour - especially in TRR3 - is.

The way the team trampled over this "pairing" post that miniscule hint in TRR3 Ch 7, would make a rampaging elephant look like a ballerina in comparison. They wanted to make it clear after the hiatus that Drake x Kiara would never happen, in any eventuality, in any future, in any universe. And no matter how much we pin this on "crazy stans" (who do hold some responsibility for sure, for their own veiled racism), it's a fact that the writing team was comfortable doing this. They had already found other ways to pile disrespect on their sole recurring black female character - what was a little more?

TRH and Beyond: Taking Away What Was Left of Kiara's Remaining Fanbase

Given all the narrative back-and-forth and shadiness, I'd have to say the end Kiara got in TRR3 was comparatively...decent. Not great...not exactly satisfying...decent.

Her fighting off the assassins at the boutique ("not again...not again!!") was the highlight of that scene. In Hana's playthrough, Kiara was her MOH by default, and the lines the MC could give if you chose her in other playthroughs was pretty sweet. At the end of the book, her father would make Kiara his heir, after her older brother Ezekiel abdicated. There were still things I was always going to hate (such as the fact that we could lie about "having Kiara's back" - we absolutely did not) about the aftermath, but all in all as a fan...I could maybe envision a fairly happy ending for her with what we got.

The next series, The Royal Heir, would debut on June 2019, almost a year after TRR3's own debut. This would be the first series that would go completely LI-divergent, spanning four books. It started out as an attempt to envision the future (and pasts) of the main characters, as well as tie loose ends...but descended into an incoherent, retconning mess with each book.

Kiara doesn't feature much in Book 1, but is pretty prominent in certain chapters like Ch 7 (Savannah's bachelorette), Savannah's wedding, and the Apple Ball in the finale. You'll often find a marked difference between the way she is looked at for most of the book, and how the MC speaks to her in TRH1's finale.

Savannah's bachelorette, for instance, features all the ladies of the court in Texas, with new "country" looks and engaging with Texan culture. Here, too, you see a sign of PB leaning into popular perceptions of Kiara rather than remembering their own writing, when we see how Savannah praises the MC by default but has very little to say about her former friend Kiara. Since Savannah's return to court in TRR3, the team seemed to have forgotten that other ladies of the court weren't very nice to her, and Kiara was the only one concerned for her. They have Olivia act sweet and caring towards Savannah in both TRR3 Ch 17 and TRH1 Ch 7, conveniently forgetting the insults she piled upon Drake's sister in the first book. Savannah never has to talk about Kiara's friendship at all, other than a teasing comment hinting at her French lessons. Savannah was never expected to have any gratitude or affection towards Kiara even though she was the only woman who cared about her in court before she left.

An interesting thing to note in the diamond scene of the bachelorette is the way the courtly ladies' previous/current "romances" are framed. Kiara's, in particular, warrants a lot of discussion. Unlike Olivia (who can address her feelings for Liam regardless of playthrough, if asked, and can actually show some level of resentment towards him for not picking her), Kiara's feelings are addressed only if the MC isn't married to Drake. If she is, Kiara mentions a fondness for "rugged, down-to-earth men" (which the MC and Penelope perceive to mean hunky and muscular), and avoids mentioning his name at all.

There are two very interesting things to note about this sequence. One is the pattern of how, and how far, are Olivia and Kiara are allowed to address their feelings for these men. Not only is Olivia allowed to be open about her feelings and her bitterness (despite Liam actually romancing her in TRR3!), the narrative demands our respect for her position and plight. The Liam MC lauds her honesty and her decision to move ahead, unfazed even by her anger for something Liam didn't even owe her. In contrast, in the Drake playthrough, the writing makes sure Kiara never mentions him by name. And not only that, when the MC and Penelope tease her about her romantic preference, she is shown to stammer and seems downright afraid of the MC.

The fact that there is such a gap in how Olivia and Kiara are allowed to act about the men they love, and the fact that this gap was normalized so much in fandom discourse that it didn't even warrant a discussion, tells us plenty about the fandom too. The fandom position has almost always been that Liam owes Olivia love, appreciation, kindness. And that Drake owes Kiara nothing, not even common human decency. Which is why the fandom wants Liam punished for the high crime of not loving Olivia back. Which is why Drake is allowed to treat Kiara like an irritating pest at his best, and like utter garbage at his worst...and almost no one so much as bats an eyelid.

Since most of the story of TRH1 seemed to revolve around the ranch, the ladies of the court made minimal appearances and most of those were in keeping with patterns established in TRR3 (except for maybe Olivia's spy scenes). Some of their parents - too - feature in Royal Council scenes: Godfrey and Landon are part of this council and are seen during the MC's announcement - no one from Kiara's family, besides her brother Ezekiel who is dating Penelope, make any appearances in this book. Towards the end of the book, however, you suddenly find a scene or two where the narrative is suddenly, and inexplicably, syrupy sweet to Kiara:

(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel. 1-5 are from Ch 18, during the council meeting. 7-10 are also from Ch 18, at the start of the ball. The last two are from the finale as buildup for the pregnancy photoshoot)

There are indications of Kiara's diplomacy and good advice in other parts of the book too (such as her suggestions for dealing with the foreign royals at the baby shower) but never were the praise and compliments as obvious as they were in the last two chapters of TRH1. Kiara was given a quippy dialogue to spout at Godfrey, who would later be revealed as the murderer of Queen Eleanor. All three of the MC's dialogue options in response would praise Kiara by default (a rarity). King Bradshaw would shower her with compliments too about her talent and expertise. And when Kiara approached us with an offer for a pregnancy photoshoot, the MC could cheerfully say "for you, Kiara? Of course!" as if they'd been bffs from the beginning.

There isn't any obvious reason why we saw this sudden change, but I can make an educated guess or two. A pattern that commonly emerges with attempts to address something that would benefit Kiara, is that the writers often only do it when enough people complain; that was how we got the horrible Lythikos sequence. Midway through TRH1, I managed to put up an essay exploring Kiara's treatment (centered around the Lythikos sequence in TRR3 Ch 12) in comparison to Penelope's and Madeleine's. It did not receive an immediate fandom wide response, but several readers did come away from that essay feeling like Kiara really got the short end of the stick, compared to all the other court ladies. I'm not sure whether that essay had a direct impact, but those three scenes PB added to the finale chapters do make me wonder. Was the team trying to prove to the fandom that they did like Kiara and wouldn't personally sabotage her, either for their own enjoyment or to pander to a section of the fandom?

If they did, then that plan didn't last beyond these two chapters.

Another possibility of course was to give Kiara something slightly positive before they did her dirty - again - in TRH2 and 3. Because in those two books, they managed to first make her - along with the rest of the council - party to a vote (that everyone was involved in, including the LIs!) that would later prove detrimental for the country. They would then have her be the only heir involved in the notorious Coventus Nobilis, which ensured that anyone who wanted to hate Kiara could tie her to her vote in favour of Bartie Sr, without ever asking any further questions. This was a far more successful attempt, because most of the fandom already believed the misconceptions of Kiara's characterization to be truth, and these storylines simply added fuel to the fire.

Kiara's biggest supporters tended to be a section of the Liam fandom, as well as wlw stans who tended to like most of the courtly women. Having her vote for Bartie at the end of TRH2, and her explanations in TRH3 about the "MC's ruling style" (which was really canon's way of making sure she did more a silent diss on Liam) was written specifically to place a serious dent among her fans who liked Liam. And sadly, it worked in part. Because even if one considered Kiara's thoughts on "reactive ruling" accurate, it was a fact that the nobility (she included) would have to be blaming Liam for something that the entire Council voted for, and that Liam and his friends fixed on their own.

Making Kiara the lone person to voice this argument, made her a target in this fandom. I mean, people were ready to praise Madeleine and speak of her as loyal (eagerly ignoring that she was actively involved in the child's kidnapping if you didn't coddle her enough), and badmouth Kiara in the same breath, claiming that Kiara wasn't worth forgiving and people should just get over Madeleine's deeds in the past.

This resurgence of hate didn't just erupt out of nowhere. Once they finished spending two chapters on two-second compliments to Kiara, PB reverted in the next two books to some of their usual patterns with her. For instance, remember how I mentioned that PB had an obsession with never letting Kiara and Liam interact? In TRH, they repeated this pattern, but with the Heir. The only scene Kiara has where she can so much as touch the heir is in the last part of TRH3, if you choose for Kiara to read to her. Penelope is regularly allowed to hold her even though she has often placed this child in dangerous situations (on one occasion, Kiara herself had to stop her) - even Madeleine is given an entire babysitting scene to win her favour. But Kiara is the only lady of the court who is made to stay away or care for the child from a distance.

Kiara's family (besides Zeke, and just because he is Penelope's fiance/husband) is subject to disrespect in this book too. Hakim and Joelle were both conspicuously absent from the pregnancy announcement presscon in TRH1 (where Landon, Godfrey and Bartie Sr somehow featured!!), and future books would either retcon the family or force them to do things the other families didn't have to do. In TRH2, the MC takes a tour of the Great Houses with her newborn daughter, and each house is expected to pledge loyalty to her and the crown in different ways. Hakim is written as "bending to his knees" for the child. This is something only Adeleide and Madeleine - whose house, might I remind you, are considered the house of traitors at this point - have to do. Landon and Emmeline are never expected to express their loyalty to this extent.

In TRH3, the narrative callously pushes the Therons under the bus to make the Ebrim family's reluctance to help the MC make sense - the Therons are now "traditionalists" who frown upon scandals and may not allow Zeke to marry Penelope on the account of her past annulled marriage (this makes no sense when you take a closer look at the Therons themselves in TRR3 - they're a far more balanced, far more progressive family than any of the other Great Houses. They even took Zeke's abdication well!). Furthermore, you'll notice that the framing of Penelope's past with Guy is worlds apart from the disdain the narrative shows for the Therons during the flower festival. It is notable that in the latter, the black women are depicted very negatively - Kiara is shown unable to manage her own competition, Joelle is depicted as pompous and incapable of losing gracefully, Drake gets to take sarcastic potshots at Lerato for trying to charm the MC into voting for her and Drake into convincing her to vote. Meanwhile white people like Landon and Marguerite are presented in a just as humourous but less mocking light (eg. Landon moving his table courteously before flipping it in the flashback).

Even into TRF (Ch12), the narrative gives us choices where we can stand up to people criticizing Landon and Emmeline's parenting ("Duke Landon and his wife raised a kind, generous daughter..."). We are allowed to be far less critical of the Ebrims overall, we are allowed to be more charitable even in the dialogue options for suspecting Landon than we are of Kiara (think of how Maxwell can suspect that Kiara was planning to betray us all along). At the end of the Flower Festival, Kiara is made to appear contrite as the MC can choose to either demand she make this right before the latter can forgive her, or indicate that she never will. Ironically, a Penelope who can choose her fancy wedding over the safety of the MC's child never has to face words that harsh.

You will also notice if you look more closely, that the narrative continues to frame events surrounding Penelope and Kiara in opposing ways. Penelope is perpetually viewed as a victim, and Kiara constantly as a suspect.

We are expected to support Penelope, and to mistrust Kiara. And even though Kiara's feelings had long since become a thing of the past, Drake still maintains his animosity towards her and her family. And like everything else, it is so normalized at this point that you barely even notice it anymore.

In TRH2, Drake is allowed to tar all nobles with the same brush because of Godfrey's actions. Though his statement about the nobility ("We can't trust any of them to have Liam's back...not unless it's in their own selfish interests") is about the entire nobility, it is striking that he says this just before they go to Castelserraillan. The Therons are also the only noble family that Drake makes sarcastic comments about (in reference to Liam informing us that their province is a trade hub, Drake quips that "they are going to want to trade babies with us"). These snide comments he rarely makes about other noble families, and serves as a sharp contrast to how he treats the Ebrims (during Penelope's wedding festivities, he is unnaturally invested in Penelope getting a happy ending with Ezekiel). We can't even claim that his behaviour towards Kiara is in line with his disdain for nobles, because Penelope is proof that he is perfectly capable of showing compassion to most of them!

TRH3 ends with Kiara doing an apology tour of sorts - diplomatic missions aimed at improving Cordonia's international relations. TRF finds almost all the ladies of the court - even Olivia - in very minimal roles, as the focus shifts to the Via Imperii. Still, the narrative makes more references to Penelope than to Kiara, to the extent that the epilogue ends on both the MC and Penelope celebrating their pregnancies (Penelope's first and the MC's second) together.

Overall, you will find that the narrative repeated certain patterns with Kiara - the tendency to find her suspicious, purposely limiting scenes with important characters like Liam (TRR) and the heir (TRH) while the white courtiers get almost unlimited access, the discrepancies in expectations for her vs other ladies (eg. Madeleine is hailed for being "good" even though that is solely dependent on how you treat her. Kiara is largely ignored whenever she does help, and attacked when she is written to support the enemy). Drake - even as a former alternative to her, who should have gotten over whatever nonsense beef he'd had with her earlier - is allowed to make snide remarks about her home and family.

It's pretty clear they could do this because they could get away with it... because most of the fandom made it so easy for them to get away with it.

Fandom

When I look back at how the perception of Kiara in the fandom progressed over the years, I find it half-amusing, half-sad how much of it is rooted more in fanlore, and how little in actual fact. And this is something you couldn't just pin on "crazy Drake stans" - they were the biggest promoters of these lies and misconceptions, sure, but normally analytical, commonsense readers often believed that Kiara was fake and a snob and awful to Penelope too.

I get some of it, given the timing of Kiara and Penelope's scene at the beginning of TRR2. It takes place at a low point in the MC's story, a time when she isn't even sure the LIs want to support her. Coupled with that is the lasting image of Penelope hugging you and complaining about Madeleine, making you feel like she's more willing to give you a sliver of solidarity. Coupled with that, is Olivia's newfound popularity in the fandom - once she emerges in Ch 5 of that book, fans believed they found their wildcard who would stand by them in complete solidarity among the ladies of the court (did they ignore Hana's already massive contributions to the investigation? Yes they did. Yes they did). Madeleine herself is shown giving quotable quotes about female solidarity and Tariq's guilt in TRR2 Ch 7, which - coupled with Justin's high praise of her - made people want to find things to like about her too. Penelope's own betrayal was overshadowed by an expectation to support a person with serious mental health struggles.

Kiara's the only one who doesn't get such backstories or explanations. So at least in the heat of the moment, in reading those chapters between weekly gaps, it makes sense that a false impression of her got somewhat solidified.

But when you build your interpretations out of lies and misinterpretations, how does it become so valid that even the writers bend to it and prefer to show that?

Every fandom has its "crazy stans". And this instance wouldn't be the first or last time they are pandered to. But when the same stans get backed up by the "saner", more commonsense members of fandom; when even neutral readers promote versions of a story without actually looking at the scenes in question - that's when a fandom is in danger of turning a "headcanon" into canon.

Kiara being a horrible friend to Penelope wasn't canon. Kiara being a snob was not canon. Kiara being creepy towards Drake wasn't canon either. Especially when you take the fandom response to Olivia's forced kiss on Liam into account.

And that brings me to another point. I had been asked once why I felt the need to compare Kiara to the other ladies in my defenses of her. It's important, when we speak of the kind of hate Kiara received, to understand how a lot of flaws that the entire court has (eg classism) is often pinned onto a lone person, and how several white female characters could get away with worse behaviour while Kiara alone was slammed for harmless interactions.

This is most apparent when you look at how Olivia's violation of Liam's consent is perceived, vs Kiara's harmless flirtation with Drake in TRR2. Which woman had fans foaming at the mouth and wanting to kill her? Which woman was given dozens and dozens of fanfic and content that depicted her as creepy, desperate, downright obsessed with their man? Which woman got the "oh well, he doesn't owe her anything 🤷🏽‍♀️" vs a "he doesn't love her back?? WHAT AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!1111"?

Perhaps this Olivia/Kiara comparison is where the fandom's tendency to cast Kiara into the Jezebel stereotype is the most visible. Kiara's very act of talking to Drake sometimes is registered as a threat to those stans, and it reflects in the way they speak of her, the way they speak of their MC's own relationship with Drake in association with her (eg. the number of posts rejoicing at the thought of showing off their "engaged to Drake" status at Kiara's estate), the way they're allowed to dehumanize her and villify her (eg. The edit I mentioned at the beginning). This is often encouraged by their friends who are fans of other characters, and you can see that in sharp contrast, Olivia - despite her actions in Book 1 and her resentment of Liam for not loving her back in other books - is still often viewed with sympathy and respect. Her feelings - still viewed as genuine, even pure. To the point where PB eventually allows Olivia to constantly address her feelings about the MC's and Liam's relationship, while forcing Kiara to not even utter Drake's name in his playthrough.

But you see this with other characters, and in other contexts too. Particularly how Madeleine can be duplicitous, hypocritical, and power-hungry, and it's Kiara who is called these things despite her actual honesty in canon. Madeleine can get away with actually helping Bartie Sr kidnap the MC's daughter in TRH3 without a murmur, in the same fandom where people can curse Kiara for voting for Bartie Sr "to take the child away" (despite her telling the MC and spouse that she was promised they would have custody of the child, therefore the claim that she "voted to take the child away from their parent" is inaccurate).

You saw some of these discrepancies in how Penelope and Kiara were spoken about too - Penelope's crime in TRR2 was considered easily forgiveable, while Kiara's innocence is constantly called into question. Kiara was often viewed negatively for what the fandom perceived as "meanness" to Penelope (when it was in fact Kiara worrying about how Penelope would fare when she wasn't around) while Penelope herself was never expected to be a good friend to Kiara. An interesting thing to note about the fandom response to Penelope and Kiara showed that often when posters wanted to hate on Penelope, she and Kiara would be clubbed together, almost as a unit. This was especially prevalent in TRH3. It was easy to express hatred for Kiara independently, but most posts that showed a dislike for Penelope (besides from specific Kiara stans) would often tie her with Kiara, as if there wasn't much to hate about her otherwise.

It is important to line up whatever hate Kiara gets with the responses to the other women - especially in the face of what the latter are allowed to get away with. In doing so, you get a better sense of what is allowed for a certain subset of women, and what isn't allowed or permitted for black women specifically.

Often, the fans who would not hesitate to call her alone fake, opportunistic and creepy were WOC, and there have been cases where some would use their identity as WOC to shield themselves from the criticism concerning their vitriol. It would often descend into "I don't hate her because she is black, I hate her because {insert inaccurate/false/convoluted justification here}". It didn't matter that much of this information wasn't based in fact, or had a heavy bias that they never applied to anyone else. It only mattered that because they were WOC, somehow that meant that they couldn't possibly be racist. That their unfounded hatred for Kiara had to be legitimate. As if there was no chance that someone who was WOC couldn't be antiblack too.

Overall, it is possible that the fandom did take some of their cues (for their impression of Kiara) from the inherent disdain found in canon itself. But many of them also misinterpreted several things about Kiara, then didn't bother to revisit those biases with a critical eye, or even try to see if they were wrong. And that baseless hatred fed the already-existing disdain that Kiara's own writers had towards her. Resulting in the kind of horrific, racist garbage that we got to see in TRR3, and the constant attempts in canon to pull her down in TRH.

Did Drake and Kiara Ever Have A Chance?

There have been various opinions - from both Kiara fans and haters - for why a Driara ship would never work. He hates nobles, she won't like his disdain for art and culture, he likes the simpler life, she's a snob...so on and so forth. Many people will agree it's not a great ship, but of course with differing opinions on why.

I, however, often wondered at possible scenarios where such a pairing could work. The magic of shipping is often that you can play around with personalities and pair almost anyone, and find enough reasons to explain why they would tick. And in Drake and Kiara's case, personally, I do feel like it's a complicated question to answer - primarily because I feel like the authorial intent at the beginning may have been very, very different to what finally happened in Drake's story.

A lot of Drake's early writing focused on the reasons behind his mistrust of the court and his tendency to view the people he loves who are part of it (eg. Liam and later the group) as anomalies. There are two ways you could take such a story in TRR2 - you could either get him to admit to the flaws in his own thinking (thereby providing a more nuanced insight) and allow him to grow from there, or you could just have him double down on his biases and never change beyond the superficial. The team of TRR - esp the head writers, Kara and Jen who were both v fond of him - definitely seemed to go in the latter direction.

Drake's prediction in Coney Island does indicate that he should let go of the past, and I honestly feel like the sequences where he learned about Maxwell straining House Beaumont's finances to help her, and Kiara and Savannah's friendship, could have been turning points for him if the writers weren't so obsessed with proving him right all the time - even when he was supposed to be wrong. Maxwell and Kiara, in their own ways, were proof that not every noble was the same, nor would every noble treat the commoners around them all the same way. However, the narrative trampled all over this possibility in TRR2 Ch 9, where Drake could optionally claim that the Beaumont brothers (among others) were "just looking out for themselves, no matter the consequences", or later when the narrative had Savannah be grateful to him for breaking her confidence to Bertrand, and have Maxwell try to earn his forgiveness in Ch 12 rather than the other way around. It allowed Drake to be selective about the nobles he admired or defended, while still free to treat certain others like garbage.

I could easily envision a Driara pairing for most of TRR2. I could even see it as potentially salvageable in certain parts of TRR3. But the moment they had Drake readily suspect her, the moment the team thought it would be okay for Drake to even suggest minimizing her trauma...that option was no longer worth seeing. Not for Drake, but for Kiara. Drake would have to be the worst possible guy I could find for her, in such a scenario.

But I could see potential in a storyline that had Drake understand that some of these people weren't the monsters he so desperately wanted them to be. In one where he could hear about Kiara's friendship with his sister, and learn about a whole new side of her. One where he maybe felt insecure ("I'm not her type") and could be reassured by a woman who had likely held a torch for him since they were teens/young adults. One where they could reach out to each other in their pain and trauma, and find solace. One where Drake knew that the family he may be marrying into would respect him, and his father too. There were possibilities there.

It would still take more work - his mean streak for one would need to be reduced by more than a half. A lot of it, of course, was kept for the Drake stans, but it really doesn't add much to Drake's character besides making him a mean-spirited, hypocritical bitch who only targets the lone black woman this way (and Olivia occasionally, if she goads him). If the narrative did want to keep a characterization where Drake acts weird around the girl he likes, they could - but that story would need a lot more work to be palatable.

All of this is to say that regardless of personal bias, there were possibilities there. There was a sliver of potential. And if they wanted to let go of that potential midway, they didn't have to go about that the way they finally did. They could have just worked on creating another love interest for her. They managed to create a brother for her overnight just so Penelope could have a boyfriend; they could have easily done the same for Kiara.

Multiple factors went down that explain why the Driara ship didn't take off. But many of them boil down to one specific root cause - the white women (whether they caused actual harm or not) needed to be protected, needed to be cherished. The black woman who dared to ask for the same things from their pet LI, would be viewed as a threat, a villain, a creep...just for breathing in his direction.

And her writers cared so little, that they took the fanon perception for her and stamped it onto their canon, like it was the truth.

They didn't do any of this for the woman who forced a kiss on a prominent LI. They didn't do this on the woman who betrayed the MC and set her up for assault. They didn't do this to the woman who bullied the lone female LI, and swore to continue doing so till she broke.

They did this for the one woman who was fairly innocent of most of these crimes, actually respected the LI and treated him well.

They did this because they could get away with it. Because they were confident that the fandom they wrote the story for, would let them get away with it. And tragically...they were right.

--

Resources I used to learn about the Jezebel stereotype:

The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII by Dr Shannon Holland

Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, the Jezebel and white masculinity by Khadija Mbowe (I actually got the recommendation for the first paper from this video essay).

From Mammy to Jezebel: The Portrayal of Black Women in American Cinema from the BlackThen website

[personapeters]

✰ 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐭-𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

— frat boyfriend rafe if he turned to college instead of crime (lol)

rating: sfw — cw: a little suggestive, language

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… during the day wears his regular rich boy attire: a polo, fitted shorts, and sneakers worth more than a semesters tuition. after hours, you’ll find him casually dressed in a university branded tee that hugged his biceps oh-so perfectly, gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips and a backwards snapback that held his long hair out of his face — perfection.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… is supposed to wear glasses but rarely does, saying they make him look like ‘a fucking geek’. eventually, he became comfortable enough to wear them around you and only you in the privacy of your dorm, and you’d tease him about how he’s the hottest ‘geek’ you’ve ever seen.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… never lets you walk back to your dorm alone, no matter the time or circumstance. whether it be broad daylight or the middle of the night, he makes zero exceptions — he’s seen the way some of the guys interacted with the girls on campus and he’ll burn the place down before it happens to you.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… isn’t really fond of coffee unless its fully black, but occasionally brings you your favorite cream filled and sugar loaded latte when you have an early morning class, loving how much sweeter it makes your mouth taste.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… begrudgingly walks (practically drags) your drunk friends back to their dorms whenever you ask him to, though he couldn’t care less how they got home. as terrible as it sounds, he only does it for you.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… enjoys to show you off to his frat brothers but simultaneously hates when they look at you. it didn’t make sense, and he was well aware of that, but it’s true — in a ‘look how hot my girl is’ yet a ‘she’s mine, don’t look at her’ way.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… met you at the campus library, as cliche as it is. he was only there to make quick deal outside, but when he spotted you through a window as your fingers grazed the spines of the books on the shelf, he knew he had to go inside.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… loves when you wear his university branded t-shirts and hoodies, loving how they swallow you whole as your sleeping gowns or when you roll them up, paired with leggings: “fuck, keep that one — looks so fuckin’ good on you.”

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… insists on covering any and every cost that your scholarships don’t and more; books, supplies, dorm furniture, food, clothes, gas, fees, whatever. of course, you were bewildered as to how a college student had enough money to fund someone else’s life, let alone their own, but once you learned the entirety of his lengthy backstory, it all made plenty of sense.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… has gotten into his fair share of fights over you, feeling it’s mandatory that everyone on campus knows who’s girl you are and what happens when they challenge that. let it be a suggestive comment or a lingering touch, rafe’s always quick to set shit straight. typically, that type of behavior would result in expulsion, but with the cameron family’s high status and money, rafe was never actually punished for anything.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… only made it into the same university as you due to his wealth. sure, he was smart but wouldn’t have made it in without his monetary advantage. he’d often get angry and frustrated whenever doing work he simply couldn’t master, but you were like his personal tutor, reassuring him that he can, he just needs to take the time and study (with your help, of course).

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… has your schedule memorized, often casually leaning outside of your classroom with his arms crossed over his chest as he waits for you to emerge so he can shamelessly perform some p.d.a. before escorting you to your next location.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… once brought you to visit his home town on a break, the outer banks, taking you to all of his favorite spots and, hesitantly, introducing you to his close friends and family. he even explained the whole ‘pogues vs kooks’ thing, emphasizing his distaste for the latter — you honestly thought it was insane: “y’know… if i grew up here, i’d’ve been a ‘pogue’, too,” you reasoned. “yeah, well, you didn’t,” he stated stoically.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… only went to college with the plan to build his credentials, promising his father he’d soon join in on running the family business. his father was impressed to hear that, saying, “really? wow… m’proud of you, son,” hugging him firmly in a way he seldom did; all rafe’s ever wanted was to be loved and accepted by his dad, and this was his way to do it.

— frat!boyfriend rafe who… is very aware of and annoyed by how other girls throw themselves at him during parties or in the halls — instead of it fueling his ego, it only angers him because he knows they can see you standing right next to him: “swear the bitch is fuckin’ stupid… like she doesn’t see my hand on your ass.”

 personapeters 2024 — all rights reserved • masterlist

[libraryleopard]

Adult romance novel

Second-chance romance between a composer and a Hollywood star who met in their high school chorus and then had a falling-out in college

When the two reunite for a benefit concert in their hometown years later, they find the spark between them hasn't dulled with time

Dual timeline between the past and the present

Gay, Filipino American main character; gay, biracial Japanese American/white love interest; M/M romance

[mrsbarnesblog]

Tattoo

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Tattoo Artist! Bucky Barnes x Bookshop Owner!Reader

Summary: When Natasha begged you to come with her to get her new tattoo done, you didn't expect that her actual plan would be to set you up with a fine-as-hell tattoo artist.

Word count: 5.8k

Warnings: +18❗️smut, p in v sex, oral sex (r receiving), protected sex, dirty talk, strangers to lovers, Bucky is hot as fuck, shy and socially awkward reader, insecurities.

Author's note: sooo, it took me forever to write, but I finally finished it and I'm kind of proud of this one. Bucky with tattoos and a low bun? yup, I'm totally ready to do whatever he desires! I hope y'all will like it too. feel free to leave comments or fic ideas💘

“I’m going to be there almost for a whole day. I love those idiots, but I still need my best friend to cheer me up." Natasha threw her hand over your shoulders, trying to convince you to go with her on a tattoo session. It was not her first time, but now she wanted to get a much bigger one on her thigh, and, for some reason, she really wanted you to go with her, using the fact that it was your day off. 

“Nat, you know that I hate going to such places. I’m socially awkward; what am I gonna do there for so long? I don’t even know those people.” You frowned, already feeling a bundle of nerves in your stomach. 

You were what others may call boring, but you rarely went to unknown places or hung out with random people. You would rather stay with a book in your apartment and read for a whole day than get into such situations. Not to mention, that tattoo salon was full of men, and it made the whole situation even worse. 

“But you’re going to be with me. They are the nice guys, I promise. You will sit with us in the room; we can talk, or you can read another book, while Barnes will do my tattoo. I just don’t want to die of boredom there. Please?” She pulled you even closer, and you knew that she wouldn’t let that go. So you had no other choice but to agree. 

You didn’t know what you were thinking when you decided that wearing a light, flowy dress would be a good idea. Because now, following Nat out of her car to that tattoo studio, it felt too short, too open, and just too much. You tried to calm down, thinking to yourself that there was nothing serious; you were just going to wait in the corner, and other people probably wouldn’t even pay attention or talk to you. Natasha, with her boldness and openness, was always the center, and you were totally fine with that. 

But you were so wrong. 

As soon as you walked inside, four men stopped talking, turning around to face you and Nat, and you honestly thought that you were going to faint. 

“Hey, guys. Hope you don’t mind that I brought my friend. So I do not have to listen to your boring asses complain all day." She teased, dragging you by the hand like a mom who tried to encourage her kid to talk. You were round-eyed, and a wave of heat washed over your body when you were face-to-face with a blonde and big guy. But before either of you could say or do something, a person who you didn’t recognise at first stepped in, pulling you into a hug. 

“Isn’t it my favorite book girly ever? How are you doin’?” Sam’s enthusiasm and energy were always so refreshing to you, so when he quickly pulled away, instead wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pushing you further into a studio, you tried to stay calm and not freak out.

"I didn't know that you were working here. How’s Sarah?” You asked, looking up at him. 

“Yup, for a few years. She is doing great, but AJ and Cass are a pain in the ass. They are growing too quickly, you know." He chuckled. “Now, say hi to those idiots.” He moved his head toward the men who were silently observing your interaction. “Tony, Steve, and Bucky.” Sam named them in order. Tony just nodded to you, Steve smiled with the friendliest smile you had ever seen, and Bucky... 

Your head became empty as soon as your eyes landed on him for the first time. He was leaning on the wall at the back of the room, so you didn’t pay much attention to him at first. He was hot. Unbelievebly hot. He was tall and muscular, with a low bun at the back of his head and tattoos covering the visible parts of his arms and neck. And as your gaze moved to his face, you almost choked on a fucking breath. 

Piercing blue eyes looked right directly at you, and the slightest smirk curled the corner of his lips. You didn’t know whether you felt too cold, too hot, or if you just wanted to vanish right on the spot. Your face heated, your eyes started running around the room, and your heart was beating a few times faster. It was overwhelming, and you thought that you would have to go out of there, but right on time, Natasha stepped in front of you, dragging all attention to herself. 

Bucky had to admit that once in his life, Sam was right. Sam tried to convince Bucky to go to that book shop for a few months, saying that he had to meet with the girl who worked there, but he was way too stubborn. 

He would have done it a long time ago if he knew you would look like the most precious, cute, and sweet person. Bucky could not take his gaze away from you as soon as Natasha dragged you inside, absorbing everything—from the way you looked so soft and pretty in that dress to the way you blushed and were nervous about the whole thing. 

He saw your reaction—how you became even more flushed after your intense stares at each other. Bucky was never the type of guy who liked to tease you, but Goddammit, he wanted to see how you would react if he stepped closer and talked to you. He also wasn’t creepy towards women, but the only thought that came to his mind was that he wanted to taste you. The desire to shove your back into the wall, lift up the skirt of your dress, and fall to his knees was shocking; he had never felt such an instant pull toward another person. 

“Barnes, are we going to start, or you’re planning on standing and staring for a whole day?” Natasha crossed her arms over her chest as if she were annoyed, but you thought that you heard something weird in her voice, as if she held back a smile. 

And then she quickly looked back at Sam and nodded with a smirk. 

You just followed Nat and Bucky to his own part of the studio. Too lost in your head because of your friend’s weird behavior, you sat down on the sofa in the corner, and the next thing you noticed was the tall figure leaning above you. You probably got carried away to much because now there was a cup of tea standing in front of you on the table.

You looked up, only to meet those pretty blue eyes again. Bucky looked down at you with the same smirk on his lips, and you could barely form a normal thought in your head. 

“Hope you don’t mind a hot tea, princess?” Yup, you were dead. Of course, he had to have the sexiest voice you have ever heard in your life. It was not enough for him to be charming or look like a fucking sin—he also had to sound hot. 

“Thank you.” You almost whispered. 

Bucky gave you another mysterious smile before going back to his place, where Nat was already without her pants and ready to start.

You and Nat were talking for the next few hours—well, she was mostly talking about a girl named Maria that she met not so long ago, and you were nodding, listening, and sipping your tea. That way, you almost forgot about Bucky sitting in the room with you because he was too focused on his job and didn’t even look away from the tattoo. 

To be honest, you accidentally looked at him one or two times because it was hard not to notice a few curls slipping out of his bun, or the way his tattooed and veiny arms seemed so sexy, or that perfect face profile... Fuck. But everything was good until Nat suddenly asked him to stop for a few minutes. 

“I really need to pee, Barnes.” She quickly jumped out of her place, winking at you as she walked away. 

“Natasha…” You hissed at her when she left you and Bucky alone in the room, your insides already shivering with nerves. She was fucking doing it on purpose. You were sure that everything here was her plan to set you up with Bucky because she had never left you anywhere alone, knowing your nervousness. 

“Are you afraid to stay with me alone?” Bucky chuckled, stretching his neck from an uncomfortable position. Your cheeks heated, and you unconsciously started scratching the surface of your phone case. He was charming. He obviously knew that, judging by the way he acted to tease you. When his question was left without an answer, he just shook his head, smiling to himself. “I didn’t know that Nat was dating girls.”

Bucky was desperately trying to make you talk. He saw how you looked at your friend when she left you alone with him, and knowing Nat, she would not have done it if you were truly afraid of him. So he was hoping that you were just too shy to talk to him and that he could make something out of it.

“Mhm. What, you hoped to have a chance with her?” You finally looked up, and you couldn’t hide the disappointment in your voice. Of course, Bucky was just trying to hit on your friend. Everyone tried. And you knew that she was so pretty and an amazing person, really, but you just wanted to experience it yourself at least once.

“With Nat?” Bucky almost laughed, genuinely taken aback by your response. “Nah, she’s cool, but not my type.”

“And who is your type?” You asked before you could even think about it. 

"You know, those cute and shy girls who can barely talk to anyone and easily blush or get nervous." You froze in your place, and you swore that the blood in your veins had done the same. Your eyes widened in shock, looking at the proudly smirking Bucky. Did he really mean that, or was it just a stupid joke? 

Natasha came into the room, curiously looking between you two, but you just stayed silent and looked away again, staying even quieter until the end of the session. 

“Why did you do that?” You frowned, looking away from Nat and crossing your arms over your chest. As soon as she was done, you almost ran out of that place, the mixture of weird feelings bubbling inside of you, and you were too frustrated to even talk to someone there. 

“Did what?” Your head snapped back at her innocent, unbothered voice. She rolled her eyes, not looking away from the road. “I did that because I love you.” 

“And I love you too, but I hate that you and Sam put me in this position!”

“I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable. Don’t be mad at what I’m about to say, but I know that you feel lonely and that you want to have someone or to date someone. I understand your anxiety; I really do, but I wanted to help you.” Her voice sounded so genuine, and even if you were mad, you knew that Nat had always tried to do what was best for you. “Bucky is a good guy. He’s attractive, he’s kind, he’s funny, and he's definitely not a player. I just wanted you to meet him, and from what I saw, there was a sparkle between you.”

You didn’t say anything to that, because she was totally right. Even if you had never said that out loud, you wanted someone to like you. Was it that much to ask? It was just hard to believe that someone as attractive as Bucky, who could easily get a good handful of women whenever he wanted to, had actually flirted with you. 

The next day, when you finally returned to your favorite place in the world, it was crazy. For some reason, too many people came to the bookshop, and almost everyone needed your advice or help. You were running around the shelves, putting the books in their places, receiving the payment, and then welcoming new customers. So when, at 9 p.m., you put the sign ‘closed’ on the door, you felt the relief that the day was almost over. 

You still had a lot to do, though. Taking the pile of books from the front table, you went to the back room, where you stored some of them. Suddenly, you heard the bell ringing and heavy footsteps on the wooden floor. 

“I’m sorry, but we are already closed. Please come tomor—” You forgot what you wanted to say when you looked out of the room into the main part of the store and saw the last person you ever expected. 

“Hey, princess.” Bucky put his hands into the front pockets, which made him seem even bigger, and smiled at you in a way that made your knees weak. He looked similar to what you saw yesterday—a low bun, black jeans, and a shirt that revealed some of his tattoos. God, his tattoos made you imagine things that were too inappropriate to say out loud. “Sorry that I came so late, but I just got off work, and I really wanted to see the place Sam has been bugging me about for weeks.” He noticed how you were looking at him again, but he decided not to tease you about it. 

“Um, hi.” You dusted off your hands and fixed the bottom part of your dress to make sure that everything was in it’s place. Bucky couldn’t help but follow your hands, staring at the way the hem of your dress moved around your thighs. “Do you need something? Like a book? Or you came just to get rid of Sam?”

“Yeah, maybe a fantasy book or something like that.” 

“I can show you where we have it, but I, um, need to finish the work here, so it would be great if you'd find a book that you like by yourself. Is that okay?” His stare was intense, and you really didn’t know what to do with this. Was he always like that with women? But Nat said that he wasn’t a player, and you trusted her more than yourself.

“Totally.” You nodded, calmed down your nerves as much as you could to not embarrass yourself in front of him, and you showed the way to the shelves at the back of the shop. 

“Take as much time as you need; I’ll go... there.” You pointed behind you to the piles of books, and Bucky chuckled at the way you were nervous around him. That was so fucking cute that he wanted to just scoop you up in his arms and make you blush again and again. 

Almost ten minutes later, you showed up again with a few books in your hands that were from the fantasy section, and as much as you wanted to escape Bucky, you also wanted to finish your job. He just quickly looked at you, too interested in the book in his hands, but didn’t say anything. 

You tried to reach the highest shelf to put the book in it’s place, but it was too far away. Usually you used a small ladder, but it was somewhere else now, and you just tried to do it standing on the tiptoes. 

“Let me do it, princess.” Bucky chuckled, closing his book and putting it down, and reached out to help you.

“No!”

“You won’t reach it. Just give it to me.” He placed his hand on your back, stretching the other one. 

“I can do it myself!” 

You couldn’t. Because the next thing you know, the book slipped out of your hand when you tried to make more distance between you and Bucky, and you also lost control of the ones you held near your chest. Everything fell onto the floor with a loud ‘boom’ and you prayed that nothing got damaged. 

Your head snapped back to say to Bucky that it was his fault, but he was already looking down at you, and you immediately forgot about everything. Only then did you realize that he was so close to you; his hand was holding your waist, and your back was almost pressed against his hard chest. 

“Sorry.” He didn’t know what he was sorry for. That he distracted you and made you drop everything, or for what he did next. After his eyes quickly looked at your plump lips, his right hand fell onto your cheek, and he kissed you.

Your instant thought was to push him away, run, and hide in the storage room, but the firm hand on your face and waist made it impossible to move. Bucky almost devoured your mouth and completely controlled you, and you could barely keep up with the rhythm of the kiss. 

He was good at it. 

No one ever kissed you as if it were the best thing they'd ever tried, but Bucky just couldn’t stop. He spined your body, so you were not in that awkward and uncomfortable position anymore. Now that you were standing chest to chest, your back got pressed into the shelves, and Bucky was towering over you. It felt unknown but so right at the same time. Your experience in this area was really poor, but the adrenalin in your blood made you a little bit more sure of yourself. 

“You’re doing something to me.” He breathed into the kiss, and you just whined without realizing it. He connected your lips again, tightening his hands on your waste and, that way, pulling you even closer. You had no idea where to put your hands, but your body seemed to work on autopilot, so they landed on his chest.

You felt something hard on the lower part of your belly, and the thought that Bucky had become hard solely because of the kiss nearly drove you insane. Hot, handsome, and charming men had never kissed you as if you were their last meal, teasing you with their bulge in the middle of your shop. 

God, he must be big. 

Your heart started beating so fast that you heard it in your ears. Was it the right thing to do? What should you do or say after that? Did he think that you kissed badly? 

“I can almost hear the thoughts in your head. Why are you worrying? You don’t like or want it? Just say, and I’ll step away.” You licked your lips, as if you tried to taste him again. You felt how your face heated again from being so close to Bucky. He didn’t sound or look as if he were judging you, and it made you feel safe enough to tell what was going on in your head.

“I just—I'm not really familiar with it. I barely know you, and you just kissed me, and I am at a loss for what to do." You said, nervously playing with the material of his shirt. Bucky's hand cupped your cheek, making you look at him. It surprised you that he didn’t try to do anything to push you, like many other men who just think with their dicks. Your stomach tightened from the way he stared at your face.

"I understand and that’s okay if you feel a little bit scared. I’m not pushing you and you can say no to me. I really came here just to talk to you, but I cannot think of anything else but you. Can I kiss you, princess?” Your eyes closed when you felt his breath on your lips again. You couldn’t deny that you wanted it too, so you just slightly nodded to his question. 

Bucky kissed you deeper and slower, allowing you to follow him. He stroked your cheek gently as his tongue slid into your mouth, causing you to moan. You swore that he smiled at your reaction, and it encouraged him to push his other hand from your waist to your thighs. 

Your skin started tingling when you felt it going under your skirt. Tattooed fingers traced the soft lines on your legs until they reached your underwear. Only then did you realise that you were getting wet. This whole time, it was not just nerves; oh no, your body actually just craved that man in front of you and now you could do nothing to hide it. In your last attempt, you tried to push your legs together, but you made it worse when Bucky’s hand slipped higher and touched the wet spot. 

“Holy fuck.” He growled, ending the kiss and looking down, where his hand stayed under your clothes. “You are not so innocent, huh?” 

“Shy and innocent are two completely different things, Bucky.” 

“Right.” Biting his lip, he looked up at you again with darkened eyes, and you felt his hand pressing onto your dressed core more firmly. “Can I taste you?"

Your eyes widen in shock. You were not a complete virgin, but unfortunately, you had never experienced that before. “My sexual life is actually really, and I mean really, meager, and no one ever asked me to do it.” You whispered, almost in embarrassment. 

“So you’re telling me that no one asked to eat you out, princess? Well, that’s a shame. I bet your pussy is as sweet as you are.” He ran his nose across your cheek, enjoying your delicate skin and the light scent of your perfume, until he reached the sensitive part of your neck. “Your scent drives me crazy... You’re so sensitive, God. When was the last time you were with someone?” You tried to act normal and not shiever, but when Bucky’s finger was running up and down the soft cotton of your panties, it was nearly impossible to do. 

“I don’t know. I did it just a few times, and I don’t date. Guys are not really interested in me.”

“Loosers.” 

“Bucky.” You moaned his name when he suddenly fell to his knees. That view was so surreal for you. He seemed desperate to touch and taste you, to please you, even though he was painfully hard in his jeans. But he did not go too far because he was waiting for your response. “What if someone walks in?”

“There is a sign on the door. Are there many people who go to bookshops at that time?” Bucky took your left leg, slowly putting it on his shoulder. Your eyes followed every move with curiosity and a hint of worry when he turned his head to softly kiss your thigh.

“Okay.”

Bucky took your leg off his shoulder but only to slide his hands under your dress and take off your underwear. He did not break eye contact when he helped you step out of it and then put them in his jeans pocket. With a quick motion, your leg returned to it’s place near his face and you blushed, realising how close he was.

With his right hand on your thigh and the left one slowly creeping up your other leg, Bucky started leaving kisses higher and higher, until he finally reached your pulled-up dress. When his head suddenly lowered and you felt the first touch of his tongue, you almost died. 

Up until that moment, you didn’t even realize how tense your body was, but that first lick sent a hot wave over you and you could not hold back a whine. You just became a fucking puddle under his touch. 

Bucky was not much better than you. He gripped your thigh harder, as if he wanted you to be even closer, and moaned when your taste blossomed on his tongue. He knew that he was addicted now and that he could spend hours in between your legs. His tongue slipped across your folds, collecting your juice, and then circled around your sensitive clit. 

“Fuck, princess. You’re s’ sweet.” 

"Bucky—oh my god, please!” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but that tight knot in your stomach was becoming almost too painful, and you felt tears forming in your eyes. As if Bucky had already understood your body better, he put two fingers of his left hand at your entrance, slightly pushing in just the tips. 

You moaned again, your hand moving on it’s own and grabbing Bucky’s hair in despair. He slowly slipped inside, letting you adjust while still not stopping the movements of his tongue. You felt so fucking tight and wet around his fingers and his cock painfully twiched in his jeans. He started pumping his fingers in and out of your pussy, and if you weren’t so far up in your head, you would’ve been embarrassed by the noises coming out of you. 

The combination of his thick digits and tongue pushed you into your first orgasm. Your back arched, and your legs unconsciously tried to close, but Bucky did not let that happen, gripping your thigh tighter and holding you in place. 

“Cum for me, pretty girl. C'mon, don’t be shy.” He encouraged you and that was everything you needed. 

You had no idea what happened next because your body felt like it was floating and your head fell back with a moan of Bucky's name. He let you go through it, slowing his pace and pulling out his fingers. As much as he didn’t want to stop, he knew that it was enough for you for the first time. 

You felt how Bucky jently lowered your leg and then, holding you by the waist, stood up and shamelessly licked his shiny lips. “I can’t believe you actually just did that. No one has ever given me an orgasm.” 

“Princess… You’re unbelievable.” He got closer to you, nuzzling into your neck and breathing in your scent. You could feel hardness in his pants, and while Bucky did not try to push it any further, the desire within you made you bold. 

“Do you have a condom?” Bucky immediately pulled away from you, his eyes darker than before and his hands tightening on your waist. You bit your lip and lowered your gaze, as if you said something wrong. 

"No, no, no, you can’t get shy after you just asked me this. Eyes on me, princess. Do you really want it?" 

“I do.” 

Bucky connected your lips, distracting you from unnecessary thoughts, and you felt two hands on the back sides of your thighs. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist, as if your body knew what to do better than you. You both moaned when his bulge met with your dripping core; Bucky’s grip tightened and he slightly moved your hips. 

Firmly holding you in his hands, Bucky stepped away from the shelves and went to the table that was standing nearby. He blindly moved aside some books there, dropping a few on the floor and receiving a groan from you. He put you on the flat surface, not moving away from between your legs. 

Your hands finally felt more confident to study his tattooed skin. You never realised that you were into people with tattoos, but now, looking at the variety of things covering his tanned skin, your belly tightened with anticipation. Your hands slowly reached his neck, slightly pulling him closer. 

“You didn’t answer my question. Do you have it?” Instead of replying to you, Bucky, not breaking eye contact, reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet. He opened it, taking the shiny square that was sticking out of there. 

Your eyes shot up at him, meeting his half-hooded and full-of-lust eyes. Bucky looked right back at you, mesmerized by your beauty—by the way your cheeks heated and your lips were slightly swollen. He quickly unbuttoned his pants, sliding them with boxers down his legs, until his hard as rock cock was free with pre-cum leaking from the tip. 

“If you’re going to look at me like that, then I might cum like a teenager before everything starts, princess.” Bucky growled, squeezing your thigh in his hand. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, then looked at his face again. You didn’t want to stare at his cock, but holy shit, it was better and bigger than everything you’ve seen before. You wondered what it would taste like, and that one thought made you clench around nothing. 

With a quick, smooth motion, Bucky opened the package with his teeth, sliding the condom down his shaft. His hand moved you closer to the edge of the table, so now your faces were just a few centimeters away and you could feel his cock through the fabric of your dress. 

“Be a good girl and hold it here for me.” Bucky folded your dress on your stomach, guiding your hand there, so he had better access to your sweet pussy. He had to see how he was disappearing inside of you with his own fucking eyes.  

“Bucky…” You whined because of the way you were exposed to him, but you still did what he said. With wide eyes, you looked at how he moved even closer to you, slightly brushing your folds with the tip. Your free arm gripped his tattooed forearm, digging in your nails. 

“So wet for me, so pretty... God, princess. I won’t be able to keep my hands from you. Say you want this. I need to hear it.” He palmed the side of your face, making you look up at him, and held himself at your entrance at the same time. 

“I want it. Please.” You whispered, your eyes running back and forth between his pretty blues. 

When he finally started slowly pushing into you, your mouth opened with a silent moan, and your eyes almost crossed with the way your whole body got covered with goosebumps. Bucky could not tear his eyes away from the place you two were connected. He felt every movement of your body and felt how your pussy almost sucked him inside. 

He knew that you would feel good, but he did not realize that it would feel like the most correct thing in his life. 

Bucky finally bottomed into you, stretching you the way you had never been before. You both thought that you could cum in that exact second, but you also both wanted to extend this moment as much as you could. 

“Princess…” That sounded so desperate when Bucky finally started moving his hips, dragging his cock out and then pushing right back in. "Fuck, I need to kiss you. You feel like a fuckin’ heaven, holy shit.” Not stopping sliding into you at a steady pace, he dragged your face closer, as if his life were depending on it. Bucky greedily bit and sucked your bottom lip, swallowing every moan and whine you let out.

“Mh— I can’t— oh, Bucky!” You cried, trying to hide your face in the crook of his neck.

He pulled you back away from his body, holding you that way so he had a better view of your face and body. He felt the way your thighs tried to squeeze together, your face started to heat and you tried to look away. 

“Don’t you dare become shy when I’m balls deep in you, princess.” He slowed his movements and teased you until you almost begged him to fuck you properly again. “You need to cum, huh? Show me those pretty eyes; don’t hide from me, c’mon.” You looked up, almost whining from the way he was looking at you. Pupils blown out, eyes slightly narrowed, and running around your face with interest and desire. “Do you need something? Speak up, sweet girl.”

“I want to cum. Let me, please.” 

“Good fucking girl.” 

Bucky started fucking you with a new forse; the table under you was squeaking with every move, making the whole scene even dirtier. You could not care about embarrassment anymore, moaning Bucky name and begging him to be harder. 

You both felt how close you were. 

Your hand, with your skirt in it, tightened around the fabric, your spread legs were trembling and you started uncontrollably squeezing Bucky’s cock inside of you. His dirty words made your vision foggy with satisfaction and the way he didn’t stop hitting your sweet spot was enough for you to go crazy with an overwhelming orgasm.

“Bucky! Bucky, oh my— fuuuck!” You cried in pleasure, feeling a few more thrusts of his throbbing cock, until he finally slowed down and emptied himself in the condom. Your body fell forward right into Bucky’s chest, too tired to even sit straight. He wrapped his hands around you, slowly stroking your back and kissing your temple. 

“You are fucking amazing, princess.” He mumbled into your hair and you just hummed in response. After a few quiet minutes, when your head started to clear up and the whole weight of this situation fell on you, you finally pulled away, hiding your eyes from him again. “What? What’s wrong?” 

“I just… I don’t know what we are supposed to do in this situation; I mean— it was just sex for you, right?” You asked, focusing on one particular tattoo on Bucky’s neck to not show how nervous you were.

Bucky didn’t answer for a few seconds, but you felt the weight of his eyes on you. Then he lifted your face with one of his hands and softly smiled at you. “If it meant nothing for me, I would’ve already been on my way home. I want you. I wanted you from the moment I saw you and I won’t be satisfied until you let me take you out. Are you free tomorrow evening, sweetheart?” He cooed, playfully tilting his head to the side. That man and his charm would be the death of you…

“Um, okay. I’m free, if you’re not kidding.”

“Not in the slightest. Now get dressed. I'm taking you home.” He pecked your lips before slowly pulling out of you and getting rid of the condom. You slowly jumped from the table, legs trembling from two mind-blowing orgasms, not missing how Bucky’s smirked at you. 

“You don’t have to take me home, Bucky.” You fixed your dress and hair as much as you could without a mirror and then picked up the books from the floor that were forgotten during your makeout session. 

“Well, I didn’t see a car near the shop, so I assume you’re walking home. And it’s dark.” He walked behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist and burying his face into your neck. “I don’t like this idea. I’m driving you home, princess.” 

“Fine. You won.” You playfully made an annoyed voice to what Bucky just chuckled and held you even closer. 

[justafterjericho]

If you liked that vibes you could read the Hogfather book or go with the Mort (the first in the death subseries). Then just read the read of the death books in order. Mort also has the benefit of being very good at establishing not only Death as a character, but also the worldbuilding (and not only the one surrounding Death and his function) and while you can get better book for establishing how gods on the discworld work (I'll get to that one), if I remember correctly, this one still gives you some basic idea.

I would also recommend Guards! Guards! (starting point for the city watch books, late enough that Pratchett figured out his voice and what he wanted to do, early enough that there are not many references or cameo characters from earlier books (except Death, but there are very few books that don't have that cameo and if you loved Hogfather, I doubt you mind)), Truth (stand-alone, some cameos from the city watch characters), Going postal (starting point for Moist von Lipwig subseries, cameos from the city watch characters and the Truth, being quite late into the series it's one of the best books in the starting points category, but while it and it's sequel Making money can be read as stand-alones without problems, third book in the subseries - Raising steam - concludes arc about dwarf society, that starts in the city watch books and you should probably read them too before going into it, but Going postal alone can be read before any previous books) and I would say also Monstrous regiment (stand-alone, cameos from the city watch books and the Truth, also quite late into the series) can be good starting point. While these series can be read withou each other and you can choose any of those starting points, if you start with the Guards! Guards! I would definitely recommend taking all of those books (and the subseries they belong to) I've talked in this paragraph and read them as if they were from the same subseries (by that I mean chronologicaly). It's definitelly not necessary for understanding but (with the exception of Monstrous regiment) they're all set in the Ankh-Morpork and do influence the city quite a lot. On the top of that the characters interact with each other and it's both interresting and hilarious to see what each of them think of the others (lets just say that Vimes, William and Moist do not like each other very much for most of the time). Monstrous regiment just adds good outside perspective of some of those characters on the top. Like I said it's not necessary and you can start with any other of those starting points, but if you decide to start with Guards! Guards! I feel it would be missed opportunity to not do this.

Other than that from the earlier starting points there's also Small gods (stand-alone, quite early into the series, gives one a good grasp about some of the worldbuilding, expecially about how the gods work) and Wyrd sisters (generally recommended starting point for the Witches series, there's technically Equal Rites, but that's more of a prequel, it has quite a different tone from the rest of the witches books, it's mixed with the Wizards and Granny Weatherwax is the only character that will appear in the other Witches books and it's also quite apparent that some, probably not all that small, amount of time had passed between Equal Rites and Wyrd sisters, still good though, firts discworld book I've read through and I loved it).

The Wee Free Men (the first book in the Tiffany Aching subseries) is technically aimed towards younger audience, but in true Terry Pratchett fashion is also in lots of its aspects one of the darker discworld books and this subseries as a whole contains probably the darkest book in the discworld (it's been some time since I've read I Shall Wear Midnight but from what I remember it beats Night Watch, Thud! and Sniff (later Watch books) on how dark it was). Even with cameos from the Witches books (which are in every Tiffany books from what I remember) they should be okay to read without any previous books except for the last two ones (the aforementioned I Shall Wear Midnight and The Shepherd's Crown). For those two you should also read at least all of the Witches books (this time including Equal Rites) - although in the case of I Shall Wear Midnight it's mostly for one very satisfying cameo which in my oppinion deserve to be experience in the fullest. It is definitely necessary for The Shepherd's Crown though.

The last starting point I will recommend is The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. Like the Tiffany Aching books it's aimed at a younger audience, like the Tiffany Aching books it's also one of the darker books xD. It is stand-alone and one, where the only cameos are of the Death and the Death of Rats. For all its insularity from the others books it does introduce enough of the discworld and it's tone to be a good starting point. There's actually quite recent animated adaptation of this one that can be considered quite good, definitelly one of the better discworld adaptation. Sadly it could have been great if they didn't decided to make it more "kid-friendly" by erasing most of the darkness by, for example, making the villian less scary and (which angered me more) erasing a whole fucking character just so they wouldn't die because kids apparently just can't handle death (lets just ignore the Lion King). They were other changes that felt kinda unecessary but if you have any younger kids I feel they would probably like it.

I never really got into any of the wizards books (excluding Unseen Academicals and the Last Hero, but the former is pretty late into the discworld (and Rincewind isn't the main character) and the later is basically a crossover with the Watch and none of them can be counted as more of the typical wizards books), never finished the Colour of Magic and while I later read other wizards books that I finished and even somewhat liked they just never really clicked for me so I don't feel like someone who should recommend them. And there's also the Pyramids and Moving Pictures that could probably also serve as starting points but I've never read Pyramids and while I've read Moving Picture it was a long time ago and while I remember liking it just fine, it wasn't all that memorable for me and I feel they are probably much better starting points there. Although it should be noted that while Moving Pictures is a stand-alone if you've decided to go with the wizards books this one should probably be read among them, because while the wizards aren't the main characters froim what I remember (or at least not the main main) this book introduces the new Archchancellor of the Unseen University Munstrum Ridcully who becomes the permanent ficture of the University going foward and basically starts a new era for the wizards there. He does also appear in the non-wizards books, but I'd wager that if someone read the whole wizards subseries his sudden appearance could have maybe feel a little jarring (but idk).

I would generally advise against starting with reading in the publication order, at least not from the beginning (I'd call that my bias against Wizards books as a whole and CoM in particular, but there exist enough people who were put off when they started with this book to warrant it). If you really want to experience the publication order reading (which can have some benefits) I would firstly start with some stand-alone or even starting point in some of the subseries you like the synopsis of and read that and then decide to try to read the whole discworld from the start. Or you can just start with either Equal Rites or Mort and go from there, of course. Generally if you don't like some starting point in some of the subseries it's probably a good idea to just switch to some different subseries or stand-alone and not just continue within the same subseries and then decide discworld isn't for you - I'm not saying discworld is necessary for everyone, but there are quite a lot of books and a few subseries in there so trying different ones if you don't like some book (and subseries) in it before giving up on it as a whole might be a good idea.

So where does one start reading Discworld?

So, this post hove across my dash, and I need these vibes in my life immediately.