advluv4life

[advluv4life]

Andrew Minyard who sees the way Neil wakes from dreams and trembles from nightmares, & eventually resigns himself to sitting with his back to the headboard. “I won’t wait on you all night,” Andrew says flatly as he spreads his legs and beckons, and he wraps his arms around the other once Neil finally slots himself between his open thighs. Neil relaxes against Andrew, using his midsection as a pillow, and he stares up at Andrew. “What are you doing?” Neil asks, as it’s not so obvious to him. “Nothing,” Andrew says a little too firmly, and Neil knows to shut up and does. He closes his eyes and eventually dozes off, falling asleep with the arms of the ‘monster’ around him. And once he’s out Andrew finally allows himself to stroke his hair, cup his cheek; Andrew lays himself like a blanket over Neil’s head, acting as a human dreamcatcher. Let the bad dreams come; he will stop them. Let Nathan make a move against Neil; he will die a second time. Or a third, and a fourth. How ever many times it takes. Andrew knows all about bad dreams, & he will chase away Neil’s ghosts.

[advluv4life]

Andrew: here’s a key to the house, to my car, to my heart

Neil: here’s my soul, my secrets, my whole life story in one panic attack

Both: 😐

[advluv4life]

thinking about how Neil Demisexual Virgin Josten doesn’t experience enough sexual attraction/know enough about sex to look at Andrew with lust until way later into their dynamic when they’re more comfortable together. he just, doesn’t. the idea of fucking Andrew never pops into his head, bro probably doesn’t even know what that would look like. at most he’ll want to kiss Andrew but still he doesn’t get this hungry predator look, he just says he wants a kiss and then gets one, end of story. thinking a lot about how Andrew probably struggled to wrap his head around the fact Neil wanted him and it wasn’t sexual in nature.

also thinking about how when time passed and they built up to things where Andrew receives Neil probably had to be like “btw i have no clue what i’m doing so you’re gonna have to tell me” and how that probably helped Andrew ease into letting Neil touch him. bc its so very clear Neil isn’t in control in that situation and is not this imposing figure, he’s awkward and unsure of his movements and Andrew’s heart could implode from how comfortable he feels

[advluv4life]

I think a lot about the press getting a shot of Jean kissing Cat’s forehead at his first game and how monumental that photo was like that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what people expect of him; being affectionate with a teammate—a queer woman of color as well—during the cleanest game of his career.

[advluv4life]

Andrew Minyard is a yapper and I will die on that hill.

He and Nicky talk about movies and music for over an hour on the way to columbia before Andrew’s withdrawal make him crash. He and Renee debate the most ridiculous unimportant things simply because they can and Andrew has Opinions, capital O.

The drugs remove his filter but the insane sentences are there naturally. He has an arsenal of fun facts he read once and then never forgot and he Will share them with you if he feels like it.

I love the idea of him being quiet simply bc he does not care to share his every thought in public but trust his brain is not quiet for a second. And I love the idea of Andrew learning to yap, without the drugs, when he’s at home with Neil.

just looooong rants about how English is a stupid language when you compare it to others, and what lighting technique they used when filming that movie, and how many words Shakespeare created that we still use. from when plumbs are in season to who created public transportation. this man knows it all and he has an opinion on all of it

Neil sits through it all just glad to idly listen to him while he plays w Andrew’s hair

[advluv4life]

listen you cannot tell me that andrew “ghosted a kiss over neil’s hip” minyard doesn’t fuck with temple kisses. smooches to the inner curves of neil’s wrists. pressing his mouth to the hollow of neil’s throat just to do it. dragging his lips with care and tenderness over his junkie’s inner thighs after he’s bitten the supple skin there all to hell. andrew may not have been bred for gentleness of a high caliber, but he knows devotion like he’s got it tattooed on the inside of his eyelids, and the only way to make the words light up is to have his lips on the most underloved parts of neil’s body that he can find

[advluv4life]

I love Takedown- but I'm going to need the alternate version with the line 'When your pattern starts to show, I see a pain that lies below...' because 😭😭

[advluv4life]

their duality makes me giggle n kick my feet

[advluv4life]

Bros bros bros bros bros bros, I'm taking Japanese: Literature in Translation this semester and I got the book list and like a quarter of the authors are characters in Bungou Stray Dogs and now I'm super pumped 😊 in retrospect that makes so much sense but I didn't really put two and two together.

I did not see Dazai or Atsushi's names though 😔

But maybe this is the Universe's way of giving me inspiration for my story- even though the main characters from my story aren't on the book list lol. I'm so excited about it already.

[advluv4life]

I feel like the only one who got a proper full description in the books from Neil's perspective was Andrew. I have no clue what Coach Wymack looks like but I know the exact layout of his apartment and every other room/house/building Neil has ever been in.

[advluv4life]

if I were to say a character with such self-proclaimed bone deep apathy has taught me more empathy in the few months since I've joined this fandom I would be call crazy yet here we are

[advluv4life]

404 - person doesn't exist

[advluv4life]

Jeremy Knox 10/10 character because the way he was portrayed to be this happy go lucky down to earth normal guy and then we get his pov and he’s like hi I am Gay I have Mommy Issues my brother killed himself while I was being arrested for doing Cocaine and having Gay Sex, I sleep with men who Hate Me to have some semblance of control, Sometimes I will have a panic attack Cigarette and I Don’t Sleep :)

[advluv4life]

[advluv4life]

neil josten, man with the butcher of baltimore for a father, somehow manages to have mommy issues dominating every crevice of his brain instead. "god my mom would KILL me if she knew my dad found out where i was" like dude

[advluv4life]

Just over here thinking about how Jeremy and Andrew, two people that were constantly shown they weren’t anyones first choice, end up with Jean and Neil, two people that constantly had their right to choose taken away.

Jeremy and Andrew get to experience being chosen first over and over again and Jean and Neil get to choose them over and over again.

And then all four of them are probably so in disbelief at the privilege it is to be with the other.

And they get to choose each other every day for the rest of their lives.

I’m a wreck.

[advluv4life]

Now that I have expressed my emotional distress for Conrad scenes (specifically in season 3) I'm seeing more pro!Jeremiah reels. How strange lol