#the writers knew it would look stupid and nonsensical so instead we get this scene

[randomnameless]

FE 25 :

Uwu:(...) I question the way in which our society is designed. No matter what strength a person has, it is the station he is born into that controls his destiny. And you cannot control where you will be born. Do you believe that a person of low birth should simply endure the curse of his station? I think not. If you are stronger than those around you, you should benefit from your strength. This is why I will use my strength to remake this world. Class and rank will not matter. Human and sub-human will not matter. The strong will possess everything. The weak will submit to their will. Is this not the meaning of peace? A subhuman: Are you saying that the lives of those without strength have no value?

Uwu : If after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves. A barbarian and potential subhuman lover : There are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. Your path will not be able to save them. It is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.

Uwu: That is the natural order. The only way for the weak to survive is to cling to the strong. Our discussion is over. Tell me, frail little bird who cannot fight; which do you choose? Submission? Or death? A subhuman: …Life proffered to me by your hand is something I would never accept! A barbarian and potential subhuman lover : (...) I finally understand…what you believe is right.

The context is different, Dimi has a special background with Supreme Leader and is her step-brother, so it makes sense trying to reach for her and at least try to understand what is going on in her mind, than Reyson, a frail and weak laguz by birth, trying to understand and reach out for Ashnard.

But are we really supposed to think Dimi's reply here is pretty different because he personally knew his Ashnard? Or because he isn't a weak and frail thing by birth, like Reyson, so he isn't as angry or as passionate in his replies?

I know this scene plays a role in Dimitri's arc - he tries to reach out for her (hand) when he earlier only wanted to end her life, because he isn't driven by revenge or vengeance anymore and wants to save people, even Supreme Leader.

So this convo is less about Supreme Leader and more about him.

And yet, imo, this always felt sort of wrong, because while Dimitri cannot do a thing for the people who are already dead (killing Supreme Leader won't bring them back, he has to think about the living now and not to avenge the dead) - Dimitri is still talking to someone who gave means and opportunities (and fodder!) to Izuka to create Feral Ones thus most likely knows there is a Gritnea Tower around, started a war and killed thousands, was involved (as far as he knows?) in the brutal killing of his family and has pretty biased views on Laguz.

Of course in the following scenes and maps, he resolves to put an end to the war thus defeat her, and we know Supreme Leader refuses his mercy and prefers to die - but the way this development is frailed is not a straight up rejection of her POV or her so called "IdEaLs", but it's framed as a tragedy because Dimitri couldn't "save" her.

No, kill that, it's even worse :

We have no choice but to destroy each other… Such is the destiny we were born to.

Now this fight - aka Dimitri wanting to put an end to Ashnard's war - is the result of fate, and not the will/choices both parties made to reach that point (which is, in a way, hilarious, because he mentions just after his line her "iron will", so pick your horse Dimitri, is this war the result of fate/destiny, or is it due to Ashnard's "iron will"?).

Ultimately, the themes and arcs of both games are different, so it's no wonder that the solution each Lord(s) offer is different - Elincia wants to avenge her parents and justice for her dead countrymen, Reyson wants to have the right to exist even if he is a weak thing by birth, Ike is out of the loop / Dimitri wants to accept Supreme Leader and "save" her because vengeance and justice drove him to a wall and got his close father figure killed, Dimitri now wants to protect the living, even Supreme Leader herself (or at least he tries).

So even if Ashnard and Supreme Leader share the same dubious ideals, keep a lizard in cage/captivity, used feral ones and started wars - the reaction to them is different, because the Lords have different character arcs and development.

That being said, even with all his character development, would a post-Rodrigue death Dimitri who, idk, is warped in FE9's Tellius, after befriending Laguz, witnessing racism, seeing Gritnea and the "wildlife experiments", witnessing Daein's army ruining civilians, learning about Lillia, Rajaion, etc etc, would that Dimitri still have reached his hand out to Ashnard upon his defeat?

If we want to stay in Fodlan, a Dimitri who befriends Nabateans (who reveals themselves to be Nabateans!), learns about the Relics, learns about Supreme Leader's goal to free the world from their existence because their race isn't allowed to have power over humans, seeing Gritnea or at least still giving fucks about the humans who were painfully transformed in Demonic Beasts (and maybe solving the question about who are they made from, random Adrestian civilians or war prisoners?), reacting to Ferdie's paralogue, learning about Rhea's zumba lessons in her 5 stars resort, etc etc, would this Dimitri still have reached his hand out to a Supreme Leader whose core belief (or least one of them) is Nabateans shouldn't be allowed to live in Fodlan, and Faerghus and Leicester should never have existed and should return to her?

Of course the game makes it so that we will never learn the answer to that second situation, because Hresvelg Tea and whatnot, but if we want to stay true to his character arc, then AM!Dimitri would still have reached out for her hand.

A Dimitri who becomes the kind of ruler Elincia is after her arc in FE10... wouldn't have at all.

[badapricot]

Lovely Writer—1x9

This episode was so packed with content I needed to rewatch it to process all my thoughts.

We get an inkling of why Aey likes Gene so much from Gene’s reactions to Aey. Gene is so naive, dense, and soft, that even after Aey aggressively comes on to him, Gene is still concerned for him. And even after all of that, Gene still can’t comprehend that Aey likes him and not Nubsib. That naivety and weakness is why Aey likes Gene—it takes a lot for Gene to hate people, especially if he feels sorry for them, which seems to be the case. Gene pities Aey and tries to comfort him, even when Aey makes him uncomfortable.

Nubsib swooping into save Gene with the hand over the mouth was very K-drama-esque. I love that he didn’t attack Aey or Gene, and just gently led Gene away like, “Okay, that’s enough.”

I loved that Nubsib never thought that Gene was consenting to Aey kissing him, because he knows that Gene gets easily overwhelmed and scared. There was no stupid misunderstanding because he trusts Gene.

I have empathy for Aey but I don’t see how he’s going to be redeemed, because he seems to have no hope for himself, which is why he’s so chaotic. I also believed him when he said he didn’t like Mhok. It felt one-sided.

I liked the scene where Nubsib scolded Gene and asked him if he knew what he did wrong and Gene reacted guiltily. It shows the power swap between them in caretaker situations.

Gene was adorable and funny when he was scurrying around for the laptop and giving Sib a nonsense reason to take a cold shower. The author described them as a hamster and a wolf and seeing how Gene moves around Nubsib sometimes, I get the small animal comparison.

The horny tag around the bed was hilarious. I also appreciated the details like Nubsib having a photo of him in the rain hanging over his bed, and a headshot on his night stand. It’s so different from Gene’s condo which is mostly covered in pastel art and fandom merch, which shows their personalities.

I loved, Gene saying, “Cut the crap and just do it.” with tears in his eyes. It was really cute and in character.

The morning after scene was cute. It’s tropey but I liked Nubsib carrying Gene and them frankly talking about after sex discomfort, it was so intimate.

The scene where Aey and Nubsib had to act out a love confession after what had just happened the night prior was so cringey and hilarious. And also shows that we really should not trust what happens in front of the camera.

I loved the tiny detail of Gene wearing a cold compress to quell his post-first time fever. It made him look adorable when Nubsib looked over to him to get inspiration for his love confession to Namcha. The overlaying of the love confession with the camera on Gene was lovely.

Aey and Gene’s post-confession conversation was so tense and off. They definitely have chemistry but it’s creepier now. It’s a testament to Gene’s character that he’s still so polite to him even after what Aey pulled.

I’d like to say thank you to whoever made Kao-Nubsib come out of the shower twice in one episode. Gene drying Nubsib’s hair was really domestic and cute. Laying him out on the couch after was also hot. A gold star for, “Gene, are you wet?”

I was cringing so hard during the entire exchange between Gene, Auntie Orn, and Nubsib, when she said that she would catch any woman he was hiding up in his condo, but she bumped into Gene instead.

The silent conversation Nubsib and Gene had, when Nubsib massaged Gene’s hand and comforted him, was amazing. It’s hard to portray something like that without chemistry.

I liked the staging of the scene where Nubsib and Gene discuss coming out in the stairwell. It was purposefully dark, in the shadows, and hidden. It felt tight too, because of the arch of the stairwell. 

The entire dinner scene was nightmare fuel with the mothers acting as parallels to the common BL fangirl and their fathers acting as small minded straight men. At least until Gene pulled out the reverse uno card of the show and revealed that his father is actually a self-hating bisexual. It was so surprising I had to pause the show. I think it added a lot of nuance to his treatment of Gene and showed that trauma is cyclical. He faced prejudice for having a relationship with a man, so now he discourages Gene from being with one because he wants to protect him. It’s a lot deeper than the typical homophobic fear I expected.

Nubsib and Gene holding hands at the table and then standing outside mournfully staring at each other was very Romeo and Juliet.

I also have to say, Gene is such a strong character. After following from the pilot, I can’t believe that he’s the one that chose to out them to their parents, and the one to scream at his father like that. He’s very firm about his love for Nubsib.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Now that I’ve had some time to cry & mourn & actually think about that horrendous excuse for television... I have... some thoughts.

Firstly, the pace of that episode was insane. I mean, the season itself felt like we were slowly & tortuously hacking our way through a tangled rain forest, trying desperately to see the forest for the trees, but instead stuck cutting vines & branches down one by one... until we got to that finale, which felt comparatively like finally cutting away all the dense foliage only to immediately fall off a fucking cliff. You could just tell they were using the least amount of dialogue they could to move through so many weird emotions at fucking breakneck speed. I mean there was... the brief aftermath in Latvia, the 4 second plane ride to re-introduce Red’s illness after how many eps, Liz’s 3 second long recuperation, the awkward attempt at humor with the helium followed by a crash landing into solemnity at Red’s talk with Cooper, the abrupt & unsatisfying discussion with Red & Liz where he makes his rEqUESt, all the different “heartfelt” one-on-ones with Liz’s people, the fucking forced af “romance” with K**nler, the shoe-horned “chance meeting” with Beth Ryker, the most Agnes has ever talked in the history of ever, the weirdly morbid & fucking heartbreaking walk in the park, the choppy restaurant scene, to the unmentionable... end event. It went all over the place, which is very unlike TBL imo, which usually seems to stick to a theme or emotional center for an entire episode, whether blacklister or mythology driven. I think it was painfully clear how poor their planning was (when they have literally no excuse bc they knew this was coming the whole season???) & just how much shit they were trying to squeeze into one episode.

Secondly - & this may seem obvious, but I think it’s worth talking about anyway - Liz should have gotten her answers. And I’m not just saying this as a Lizzington shipper (I mean, mostly I am, but there are other reasons also!) Primarily, I think bc... literally everyone expected them. Not just bc they were advertised (it’s certainly not the first time they’ve delighted in false advertising in promos when it comes to the all-important AnSwErS) but bc THEY MADE SURE EVERYONE KNEW BEFOREHAND THAT IT WAS MEGAN’S LAST EP. It might have been mildly acceptable to play coy for yet another season finale IF she was coming back in some capacity later to eventually wrap things up, but - given that they fucking slammed the door on that possibility - THEY SHOULD HAVE GIVEN US ANSWERS. I don’t think anyone considered the possibility that they would KILL her & NOT give us answers bc it makes no fucking sense. Additionally, Liz should have gotten her answers simply bc SHE!! DESERVED!! THEM!! They’re literally the thing she’s been fighting for for eight seasons & she fucking died without them? WTF??? But, most importantly to us Lizzington shippers, Liz not getting her answers ruined the park fantasy. I think we all imagined (BC IT WAS MEGAN’S LAST EP) that Red & Liz would finally talk & Red would give her the answers she wanted. I think we all expected from the (misleading) promo that he would make some sense out of the potentially jumbled memories/visions (?) from 8.21 &, most importantly, there would be SOME KIND OF EMOTIONAL TURNING POINT, SOME CATHARSIS, AN UNDERSTANDING & RENEWED LOVE BETWEEN THEM DRIVEN BY THE AFOREMENTIONED REVELATIONS (& LOVE OF WHATEVER KIND, MIND YOU, WE WEREN’T PICKY, JUST SOMETHING FOUNDED ON RECONCILIATION & PEACE.) But - bc they denied us that - Liz was still in the dark & waiting on answers for the entire ep, unable to forgive or reconnect with her true feelings for Red (whatever you believe them to be) & this made her reaction to Red’s rEqUeSt ring very hollow & detached, the whole park bench conversation stilted & awkward (on Liz’s end) & - THE WORST PART - it made the whole park fantasy feel FALSE. It cheapened it. Like she was just indulging him, letting him walk with her & play with Agnes & enjoy one more day of life before she indifferently killed him. The one thing we expected to get, should have gotten, & THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE NO MATTER WHAT ELSE HAPPENED IN THE FINALE was ruined. With the assisted suicide talk beforehand, the almost begrudging acceptance from Liz, the obvious morbid mindset from Red, the song in the background, the context of it all. It put an awful spin we completely didn’t expect on what should have been our beautiful Lizzington park fantasy. And I think that may be the part that hurts the most - the fact that I can only look at gifs of that scene - bc the music & dialogue & context completely undermine what Liz’s fantasy should have been, that she got for just one afternoon, when she was supposed to be happy & at peace with Red & Agnes.

Thirdly, (anyone still there? lolz) the whole “plot” of this episode was fucking nonsensical. Chiefly - & many other people have pointed this out before now - Red would never ask Liz to kill him. I simply call bullshit. No matter how hard they tried to justify it (& boyyyyy, did they try) Red has never wanted Liz to be a killer, criminal, or have to live a life like him. He has canonically said as much. I could maybe buy the whole “taking over his empire” thing as the seasons progressed, but asking Liz to live with the guilt (however slight or delayed) of killing him, after everything they’ve been through together, after she told him she loves him (seasons ago, but the feelings are still there, albeit buried deep)? And thereby launching her (& by extension Agnes) directly into harm’s way as the “new” Concierge of Crime (?), without him there to guide her from the shadows? No way. Bullshit. Also - & @iwouldlovetoeatyourtoast mentioned this first, I believe - the whole idea of it was stupid anyway bc Liz has spent the entire season chasing him, has repeatedly gotten opportunities to take the big shot, & has always been unable to kill him. It wasn’t even an engaging tWiSt to throw in at the very end bc - even when she agreed to do it - we all knew it wouldn’t happen, also bc Megan was the one leaving & not James. So, it wasn’t a surprise when she broke down at the end & said she couldn’t, so wtf was the point?

Fourthly (almost to the end, god this feels good) & this was a huge tell imo - everyone was OOC. Now you might say that’s the bitterness talking & you might be right... but you fucking try & tell me that 1) Red all of a sudden decides he’s ready for death after how long of not accepting it or mentioning it & absolutely must be killed by Liz & no one else within the next 24-48 hours 2) Liz would willingly go along with that for even a second 3) Dembe wouldn’t try his damnedest to talk Red out of assisted suicide in general & especially coercing Liz into doing it 4) Ressler would be the one to fucking figure it out & hightail it out of bed AFTER BEING ON DEATH’S DOOR WITH A BUSTED LUNG & SEPSIS FFS 5) Wolf Man Van Dyke would even know where to find Liz on a random fucking street corner outside a random fucking restaurant 6) Red wouldn’t see him behind Liz taking aim 7) THERE WOULDN’T BE A DECLARATION OF FEELINGS/LOVE CONFESSION BETWEEN RED & LIZ IN THE 14 MILLION OBVIOUS PLACES THERE COULD HAVE BEEN *PRIMARILY AFTER SHE SAYS “I CAN’T DO IT, I DON’T WANT TO” I MEAN, HELLO????? WTF, WHY WASN’T THERE AN “BC I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU TOO, LIZZIE” LIKE HOW HARD WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN, IT WAS THE PERFECT PLACE, THE LAST CHANCE, & WE FUCKING DESERVED ITTTTTTTTTTT *ahem* & lastly, & most importantly, & I’m definitely going to cry typing this... 8) if you fucking try to tell me that Red would allow himself to be pulled away from Lizzie’s dead body for a second time by Dembe or anyone else (especially when it was only the stupid task force arriving???) without simply crossing the street to load his gun with trembling fingers, pull the trigger, & join her... you’re fucking crazy.

In conclusion, bc this has gone on long enough, this was just... a hasty, sloppy, rushed, unprepared, careless ending on all fronts, no matter how hard they tried to convince us it was totally-100%-on-purpose-of-course-why-do-you-ask? (And I’m not even touching on the Redarina bait bc fuck that shit.) Like, did anyone else feel like when Red was telling Dembe that he was sure & this was what he wanted & really he’s positive so please stop asking, and when he was explaining things to Liz in almost too much detail, and when he was telling Harold this was absolutely necessary... that it was really the writers trying to convince us? It just felt so sudden & forced & heavy-handed & absurdly preventable & at the same time ridiculously unstoppable... I mean, look, whatever drama clearly went on behind the scenes? I think we can all agree that they did a terrible, awful, shit-tastic job on all fronts. And it’s just such a shame that that’s how it ended 💔

[mashi-sims]

Ranking AHW's S5 Episodes

I know that ranting about how bad some of the episodes this season were isn’t going to change the fact that they were, in fact, bad, but I still wanted to do an overview of this season in my opinion, and I love ranking stuff, so here it goes:

Also, I should mention that, yes, this is Cooliver biased, although I did take other plotlines into consideration, but mostly Cooliver. Also, lol, I could only add 10 photos so the #13, #12 and #11 don't get one, also they don't deserve it.

Tier 1: I wish they could be un-written, please.

13. 5x12 How Oliver Got His Groove Back

I’ll start with my least favorite episode, and the one we all wish we could unsee. This is the episode where Oliver is feeling down because the girl WE, THE AUDIENCE, just realized he liked, doesn’t like him back (which is a whole other thing), so Katie gets him a date with this girl that’s never been introduced in the show before. Oliver doesn’t want to see her, but he still does, and then he realizes she’s nice, and just like that, he’s happy again. I feel like this plot would not have been that bad if it hadn’t been so out of character, unexplained, and utterly designed to be filler for the season. Worst episode from my perspective, wouldn’t watch it again, barely watched it the first time, ugh, next-

12. 5x11 The Guardian

Same thing with this one, very uneventful episode that talks nonsense, introduces the idea of Oliver liking Lindsay and thinking they’d been dating, but nobody knew about it! How convenient! And again, doesn’t progress into anything, and it just feels out of character, forced, and like they didn’t even try to hide that it was a filler episode. Wouldn’t watch it again, I don’t even think about it, I’ve erased it from my mind. The only reason why this episode is ahead of 5x12 is because of Kathryn and Anna-Kat, and JD trying to find his egg donor, other than that, still pretty ugh.

Tier 2: Did the writers really look at their script and think; “ah, well done”?!

11. 5x07 Under Pressure

I kinda enjoyed this episode even if it didn’t include any Cooliver. I liked Anna-Kat’s storyline about not feeling her popularity and sticking to Franklin, I really really love these two together! So cute! Also, Taylor helping Oliver relax and not stress out that much was nice, although not amazing. Katie and Greg’s double date that led to a city council rivalry, I don’t care for it. Overall, I don’t know if this was intended to be a filler episode, but it totally felt like one to me; a nice episode but not one I’d watch again.

10. 5x05 Kids These Days

Eh, pretty uneventful. Katie wants Franklin and Anna-Kat to be more edgy and to take more risks, ends up in completely nothing. Oliver wants Boosterin and he accidentally drugs Greg, also ends up doing nothing for the storyline. The only thing I liked about this episode was seeing how Cooper cared about Oliver and how Oliver said “Your boy is doing both”, the Cooliver content was still good; other than that, eh. Also, the strange order in episodes this season really threw me off.

9. 5x04 Homeschool Sweet Homeschool

Nice episode, but not one of the best. Mommy blog, Cooliver moves to the basement, Andre shows up and it’s all weird now, eh. I enjoyed this episode because of the Cooliver’s interactions more than anything, but it’s not the greatest in my opinion.

Tier 3: *Sits down on the couch with popcorn and a blanket*

8. 5x06 Mother’s Little Helper

I also enjoyed Cooliver this episode. Although their drinking arc was pretty pointless and, again, ended up being nothing!!, I liked seeing them together, and that shaking they gave each other was funny. This is the episode where Tami was introduced, and I really liked her from the beginning, although I do wish they would’ve given Katie’s original second breakfast club some sort of closure so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about liking Tami and JD, eventually.

7. 5x02 Psych

This episode always made me feel stupid because I never understood what was going on with Taylor, why she didn’t take her gap year, why she never told Katie and Greg that she had gotten in, or at least make something out of it, why she decided to go to another college or if Greg got her in just so she didn’t have to take a gap year, bUT THEN I realized they didn’t actually talk about it, so I’m not the stupid one, I think.

Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this episode. I like Katie’s storyline of getting involved in other people’s lives after she sells her lasagna business (again, did they ever talk about that or am I stupid?)

This is the episode where we can see the change in Cooliver’s dynamic (a good thing), and the iconic line “stop bothering our boyfriends” saved my life. Having Taylor And Trip with Cooper and Oliver hanging out in the same frame is one of my favorite things and adds a few days to my life.

Franklin and Anna-Kat’s relationship also picks up in this season, and I really enjoy them in this episode. Also, Greg was very funny here, and I am grateful lol.

6. 5x08 Encourage, Discourage

I really liked how this was a Cooper-centered episode, really diving deep into his character instead of keeping him as a shallow side-character. By the way, how did Cooper get so much development and Oliver lost most of his? What was that? Anyway, Cooper saved this episode. I would’ve liked for Oliver to be a more supportive friend in this episode, but he was still there, at least.

Also, Cooper doesn’t think he’s too good for Oliver! Bless his heart.

5. 5x10 Getting Frank with The Ottos

I liked this episode very much! Again, Anna-Kat and Franklin melted my heart, but Oliver and Cooper squeezed it with Cooper’s realization of not wanting to go to Harvard, but Oliver eventually understanding and supporting him? Please, get married. Also, Oliver saying “We’re Cooliver”, and Trevor asking them if they were breaking up made my day. Could’ve been better and a bit more eventful, but it was good nonetheless.

4. 5x13 The Election

I really liked the finale, despite not having any Cooliver at all, the ending was pretty awesome, and I believe it really sets the tone for what could potentially be a great S6, that is if that’s actually happening AND if the writers stop it with the bullshit. Franklin and Anna-Kat getting engaged was very sweet, I adore them! Taylor and Trip getting really engaged was a bit cringe, but still adorable, and I love it! I just wish they had paid more attention to Oliver in this episode, but well, I guess his bang is not here yet and not every episode can be a banger. I hope that whatever comes next will be good enough that the wait will be worth it.

Tier 4: *Chef’s kiss, no pun intended*

3. 5x01 Graduation

Although this episode doesn’t really belong to this season, and it doesn’t share the same 〜vibe〜 with the rest of the episodes, since it has more of a S3-S4 energy, it’s still in S5 and I wanted to include it, too.

Not my favorite, but it’s one of the good ones imo. So much stuff happens in this episode that it almost feels cramped and overwhelming to me, with the graduation and the wedding, but I get that it was necessary to set the scene for S5 and close S4 even if it didn’t turn out the way they’d originally planned, and it came out fine considering the situation the producers were in, which can’t be said for every episode this season lol.

Taylor and Trip were adorable in this episode, Cooper was amazing, Oliver moping around was something I didn’t know I needed in my life, and Lonnie’s speech about not wanting his relationship with Greg to end, even if I never cared for his storyline, was really nice.

This episode made me think that S5 was headed toward amazing things, but not everything was good.

2. 5x09 The Heist

I love this episode because of Cooper’s development. Again, why couldn’t Oliver get that too? However, I did like how they made Oliver seem like he might’ve been a bit thirsty for his fellow Cooper over there, telling him multiple times that he’s good looking? Come on, tell us what you really mean.

Anyway, Cooliver really shone this episode, round of applause.

1. 5x03 Coupling

This episode is superior, bite me. I love everything about this episode, not only Cooliver. Katie and Greg trying to be supportive of their kids having sex with their boyfriends? Yes! Parallels between all four couples? Yes, please! Cooper and Oliver having their first married couple fight, Cooper feeling like he’s being replaced, but Oliver is doing it for the both of them and their future together? Yes! Masterpiece of an episode. I have no more to say.

Hands down, my favorite episode this season. Too bad mostly everything went downhill after that. I hope we do get a season 6 and that things pick up. This series deserves redemption, and Cooper and Oliver deserve to be happily in love together. Thank you.

[yellowsuitcase]

Oblivious Part 2 // Draco Malfoy

A/N: Hey guys, PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS!!! I feel like I’ve taken on a series too early, I wrote Part 2 a long time ago but never got around to finishing it, so it didn’t end with what I wanted it to, but it’ll all work out in the end. But please be open-minded, I know it’s not my best work by any means, but I think it’s quite sweet in some moments. The juicy bits are yet to come. I’m sorry for such a long wait. Truth be told, I’ve been experiencing some writer’s block and I really just wanted to get SOMETHING out to you guys. Thank you for your patience!

Summary: Draco and Y/N talk about what happened at Hogsmeade and after a tragic event, Draco finally comes clean.

Warning(s): SPOILERS! Violence, swearing(I can’t remember if there is or not tbh)

Word Count: 4k

Part 1

Draco exhaled heavily as he gently stroked his girlfriend’s temple. He was trying to get her to fall asleep after the long day she’d just had. However, he knew first hand how uncomfortable the Hospital Wing’s beds were. He didn’t expect her to find slumber easily. Besides, he could practically see the gears turning in her head as she gazed up at him. Her expression was one of befuddlement.

Madam Pomfrey had already fixed her up, but she had requested for Y/N to stay the night so that she’d be able to reassess her ankle the next morning. Draco knew he should’ve taken this valuable time where Y/N would be, essentially, out of commission, to work on the cabinet. Alas, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the chair Madam Pomfrey had provided him with.

Draco fought a smile from creeping onto his lips as he ran his eyes over Y/N’s frame. He loved her all the time, but it was always a special treat whenever he got to see her in between consciousness and sleep. She’d curl up into a ball, make herself appear small. Every time she talked, it was as if she were drunk; her words would come out muffled or slurred, and none of her sentences would make sense. It was a rather endearing sight to behold. But Y/N wasn’t her usual sleepy self tonight; she was wide awake and studying Draco’s face intently. 

“Why didn’t you take me over there to help?” she asked him, point-blank.

Draco let out another sigh and ran his hand through his hair. Boy, oh boy, was his girlfriend quite the stubborn young woman. Although, perhaps that made sense as she was a Gryffindor after all. Part of him wanted to spill his guts to her. How good would it feel to finally tell someone what he’s been going through? He parted his lips to spill his guts but thought better of it at the last moment.

Draco opened his mouth again. “I thought it was dangerous; I didn’t want you to get hurt any further than you already were. That’s all,” he said, providing her with yet another false answer. The unimpressed look on her face signaled to Draco that she didn’t buy it.

“Why were you in such a rush to leave? Maybe we could’ve helped her, Draco.”

Draco clenched his fists. He really needed to get better at lying. But perhaps he was performing poorly due to the fact he was lying to Y/N, the girl he loved so dearly. Nevertheless, anger began to swell in his chest. “I already told you, it looked dangerous,” he snapped. Y/N didn’t move a muscle; she was used to Draco’s sudden mood swings. Instead, she just stared at him, seemingly awaiting what he would do next.

Draco contemplated his next words heavily. Would mentioning Voldemort be too much? Maybe it would frighten Y/N. He certainly didn’t want to keep the girl awake any longer than she’d already been, but perhaps it would convince her that Draco had genuinely been scared earlier that day. He indeed had been afraid… afraid of his secret being revealed.

“Look, The Dark Lord is back, we can’t be-”

“Oh, so now you believe, Harry?” Y/N asked condescendingly.

“Would you shut it? Bloody hell, this isn’t about Potter,” Draco said while throwing his hands into the air. “This is about your safety. Our safety. Why don’t you understand that?” Irritation was visible in his eyes.

“You’re a liar,” Y/N said while sitting up in her bed, “A liar. Get out. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Draco’s frustration dissipated instantly. “Love, I’m sorry I—”

“Get. Out,” Y/N said firmly. Her teeth were gritted, and her nostrils were flared. She was sick and tired of her boyfriend lying to her face. She gave him so many chances to come clean, and yet he didn’t; this hurt her deeply. He studied her face for a few moments, then realized she was dead serious. So he reluctantly got to his feet and gave her one last look before turning on his heel and walking away. When he left the room, he began to pace back and forth outside the doors. He didn’t want to leave. He was stroking his chin in deep thoughts when his strides were interrupted by a deep, slow voice calling his name.

 “Draco. Don’t you have... better things... to be doing at this hour?”

He looked up from his feet to see Professor Snape glaring at him. Draco scowled at him. He knew what the greasy-haired man was implying. “I’m taking care of it,” he replied.

“Is that so? Then you must have successfully repaired it, yes?”

Draco averted his eyes. Truthfully, he’d made progress on the vanishing cabinet, but nothing too promising. He’d been able to get an apple to and from the Room of Requirement and Borgin and Burkes. But when he sent a bird through it, it hadn’t come back alive. “Not quite, but I’m getting closer. I just need more time.”

Snape’s frowning expression remained the same. “Well, I suggest you focus more on fixing it rather than wasting time on such silly attempts. The Headmaster isn’t a fool, unlike you. He would never have been stupid enough to touch that necklace.”

Draco turned his head slightly away from Snape. He knew he was right. Dumbledore was an intelligent wizard; he likely wouldn’t have been fooled by the cursed necklace. But Draco thought it had been worth a shot. It was clear now that it had most certainly not been worth it.

“Focus on the task at hand. Fix the cabinet. If you don’t, I’ll be stepping in,” Snape said in a stern tone. Draco still couldn’t bring himself to look at him, so the professor walked away, leaving the blonde boy to his jumbled thoughts.

After a long couple of minutes, Draco decided that Snape was right. He needed to concentrate on the cabinet. There was no time to spend worrying about what lie to tell his girlfriend next; The Dark Lord had chosen him. And he could not fail him.

Draco straightened his spine and readjusted his suit jacket. And then he was off to the Room of Requirement.

--------------

Y/N didn’t make an effort to find Draco the next morning. Although, she had expected him to be outside the Hospital Wing when she exited. But he was nowhere to be seen. Her first thought was that she was too harsh with him. Then she remembered that he’d been blatantly lying to her for weeks now. She needed to be blunt with him last night. He needed to understand that she was upset and wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt anymore.

Y/N had hardly gotten any sleep. Her mind was too cluttered with thoughts of Katie Bell. What the hell had cursed her yesterday? And why was Draco so eager to flee the scene once he saw her shoot into the sky? Y/N didn’t want to believe her own suspicions, but perhaps Draco had had something to do with it. It was the only logical answer she could think of. And while she didn’t doubt Draco cared for her safety, she knew that wasn’t the real reason he ran off with her in his arms.

Suddenly, she missed being in those arms. Draco hadn’t been the same boy she fell in love with in a long time. He was so gloomy, the bags under his eyes were still prominent. And as of late, he’d been becoming more and more secretive. None of this sat well with Y/N. Not at all.

When she arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast, she located her boyfriend straight away. He was at their usual spot, picking at some scrambled eggs. She sighed and walked over to him and sat down gently. Not a single word flew from his chapped lips.

“I thought you would’ve been waiting for me outside the Hospital Wing,” Y/N stated while she cut into a loaf of bread. “Did something happen?” she questioned, keeping her tone light and nonaccusatory. Draco scoffed. “Figured you wouldn’t want to see me,” he said in a passive-aggressive tone.

“Don’t start that shit, Draco. I’m trying to be nice even though you’ve been lying to my face for how long now? Too long. We’re in a relationship, and relationships don’t work when someone consistently lies. So unless you want to lose me,” Draco’s head whipped towards her like lightning, her words struck fear into his heart, “I’d come clean.”

Draco masked his fear with a hearty laugh. “Yeah, right. You wouldn’t.”

“Honestly, Draco, at this point, I would. I’m sick of this rubbish. Why are you suddenly so afraid to tell me stuff? You were never apprehensive about confiding in me until now. I know something has happened, Draco. It’s so blatantly bothering you. Let me take some of the weight off your shoulders—”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing has happened. I’m fine, alright? Can we just stop talking about all this nonsense?” Draco asked. His fists were clenched tightly on top of the table. He was desperately trying to control his raging emotions. 

Y/N couldn’t believe he was still trying to keep secrets, but she decided to give him one more chance. “What is going on?” she asked while reaching out to put her hand on his left arm, trying to comfort him. But once her fingertips had brushed his sleeve, he yanked himself away from her aggressively.

“Don’t touch me,” he said quickly, getting to his feet. Y/N felt her heart clench. She knew she’d struck some kind of nerve. But she made no move to stand up; she only watched as Draco turned to leave. Except, he didn’t. He was frozen in place. Y/N curiously followed his gaze to see Harry talking to Katie Bell. She threw one leg over the bench, wanting to see if she could join the conversation. However, her plans were interrupted when suddenly, Draco stumbled backward and began to flee the Great Hall. Harry didn’t wait a beat; he chased after the Slytherin.

Y/N stuffed a piece of toast in her mouth, quickly clambered to her feet, and rushed after the boys. She momentarily got caught in a hoard of people who were flowing into the Great Hall, but when she was able to weave through them, she caught sight of Harry running up the stairs. The Gryffindor knew it would be best to keep a distance behind Harry, as to remain undetected. 

She waited until Harry had reached the top step, then she climbed up after him. At the peak of the concrete stairs, Y/N saw Harry turn a corner. So she followed after him, but when she too rounded the corner, she pressed herself against the wall and watched silently as Harry nearly ran down the hallway. Why the hell was Harry even chasing Draco anyway?

Y/N knew there was no time to waste. When Harry was out of sight, she scurried off after him. However, while she was running, Peeves, the naughty school poltergeist, appeared in front of her, a mischievous smile plastered to his face.

“Where you off to?” he asked in a playful tone as he floated in front of her.

“Peeves, not now,” Y/N said irritatedly and out of breath. Harry was getting farther and farther away by the second.

“I have a riddle, I do. I have a riddle for you,” he said. His voice was high pitched and squeaky. It sounded a bit like nails on a chalkboard to Y/N. She ran her hand through her hair and said, “Peeves, fuck off,” as she walked straight through the ghost. He was not happy about this, and he let that be known to the entire school by letting out an ear-splitting screech. Y/N groaned and whipped out her wand. “Silencio!” she said while forcefully waving her wand towards the poltergeist. He was instantly rendered speechless by her spell. Y/N smiled and ran off; she knew she’d pay for that one later.

When she caught up to where she’d last seen Harry, all she found was an empty hallway. She took a moment to calm her erratic breathing and stood still. After a few moments, she heard a loud crack and then little clangs. They sounded like glass crashing to the floor. Her stomach churned at the thought of what could be going on. She ran down the corridor, trying to listen for more noises that would lead her to where the boys were. Upon hearing another crash, she realized they were in the bathroom. Y/N felt adrenaline rush through her body. Her head was pulsing as her heart was working diligently to pump blood. “Please let him be okay,” she muttered.

“Sectumsempra!” a voice yelled. It was followed by a loud thump that seemed to echo through the hall. Y/N didn’t recognize the spell, but she did know that voice. She burst into the flooding bathroom and looked around, panicked. Tears sprang to her eyes when she saw him. Draco was lying on the bathroom tiles, blood seeping through his white shirt. Harry stood nearby; he was frozen in place. He looked frightened by his own actions.

Y/N didn’t wait a moment more; she ran to Draco’s side and fell to her knees. She took his face into her shaky hands. “You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay. I’m here,” she said softly. Draco didn’t reply; he just continued to sob. Y/N turned to Harry. “What did you do to him?” she asked angrily. Harry didn’t respond. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM, HARRY?!” she screamed. But Harry remained silent, so she turned back to her boyfriend, his head still in her hands.

“I’m sorry, Draco. I’m so sorry, I should’ve just trusted you, I should have just forgiven you,” Y/N said through her tears and hiccups. She knew that any adult who could heal Draco was likely too far away. She didn’t want to risk leaving him and coming back to find him dead. So she slid down onto her side and laid next to him. Slowly and gently, she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. Her clothes were now drenched, but that didn’t bother her in the slightest. She wanted to be near to Draco. She wanted to hold him. 

Her attention was stolen when she heard footsteps splash in the pool of water on the bathroom floor. She looked over her shoulder to see Professor Snape. Her heart skipped a beat. “Professor, please, he’s bleeding out!” she called to him as she sat up. Snape silently rushed to Draco’s side but stopped to give Harry a long and knowing look. Harry gulped and fled the scene. This piqued Y/N’s interest, but now was not the time to wonder why Snape had glared at Harry that way. “Professor…” she pleaded.

Snape’s head whipped towards her, “Move,” he commanded. Y/N jumped to her feet and scooted away from Draco. Snape knelt over Draco’s body and took out his wand. Slowly, he held it above Draco’s body and murmured a healing spell while moving his wand left and right. The bloodstains began to fade as Draco’s lacerations started to close. Y/N let out an enormous breath of relief when she saw color return to her lover’s pale face. 

Snape finished healing and tucked away his wand. He then reached underneath Draco to lift him up. Once the boy was settled in his arms, he strode out of the bathroom without a word to Y/N. Despite Snape making no indication she should follow, Y/N ran through the water to catch up with her potions professor. 

After rushing through the corridors, they arrived at the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomfrey was surprised to see Snape carrying a student. He laid Draco on an empty bed and told the matron in a hushed voice what had happened to the blonde boy. Draco’s eyes were closed, and his chest was rising and falling slowly as his body started to recover. Y/N took a seat next to his bed, just as he had done for her less than twenty-four hours ago. Her tears hadn’t stopped falling since the moment she saw him on the washroom floor. The skin around her eyes was red and raw from her repeated rubbing. Y/N grabbed his hand and held it firmly in both her palms. She rubbed her thumb over his skin and slowly raised it to her lips, pressing a delicate kiss to his fingers. 

Even though Y/N was looking at Draco and could see he was breathing, she still felt panicked. “He’s okay now, right? You’ve saved him?” she asked the two adults who were still whispering to one another. The pair shifted their eyes to her. Madam Pomfrey smiled and nodded while Snape's expression remained stoic. He gave his thanks to Madam Pomfrey and left the room. The matron walked over to Y/N. 

“I need to tend to his wounds Miss Y/L/N if you could step away for just a moment,” she said. Y/N stood up from her chair and moved out of Madam Pomfrey’s way. She closed the curtain around the hospital bed, shielding Y/N’s view of her boyfriend. Y/N nervously began to pace back and forth, finally having time to process what just happened. Why did Harry use such a violent spell? If Snape hadn’t shown up, Draco would’ve likely died on that bathroom floor. Had that been Harry’s intent? What were they even fighting for? Y/N thought to herself. After rapidly theorizing different answers to her questions, she concluded she wouldn’t be able to figure out this puzzle until Draco recovered. Perhaps he’d finally come clean. She’d make him come clean, she decided.

Just then, the curtain was pulled back, and there was Draco, awake. Y/N slowly approached his bedside; tears welled up in her eyes all over again. He offered her a soft smile and slightly raised his hand to say hello. She let out a strangled sob and reached out her hands to cradle his face. Gently, she pulled him close and gave him a tender kiss. Draco kissed her back and rested his hand on her waist. When they pulled away, he gazed into her sad eyes. “I’m here, love. I’m okay. There’s no need to cry.” This only caused more teardrops to fall. Y/N tried to stifle her sobs, not wanting to wake up any other patients. “Draco, you almost d..died. You almost died on the floor, I…I was lying next to you, and if Snape hadn’t come in when he did, y-you would’ve d-died in my arms.”

Draco didn't utter a word. He merely scooted over in his bed and patted the new spot next to him. Y/N rubbed her eyes and climbed up onto the hospital cot. She buried herself into his side and gently wrapped her arms around his lower torso, trying not to irritate his cuts. He laughed softly. “I’m healed, darling. Pomfrey said I’m staying the night, so Potter doesn’t come back to finish me off,” Draco said, a hint of anger laced in his tone. “Why did he do this to you, Draco? Is he what’s been bothering you? Do I need to talk to him?” Y/N asked. She was incredibly angry at Harry, and Draco had just reminded her of this. 

Draco stared at her. He could see the anguish and inner turmoil she was going through. He felt guilt pang in his chest when he realized he was the cause of it. He never wanted her to be hurting because of him; he only wanted to keep her safe. Keep her oblivious. But it seemed as though that was no longer an option. He couldn’t bear to lie to her again. He had to come clean.

“Potter did this to me because... he knows I cursed Katie Bell,” Draco said flat out. Y/N’s eyes widened to twice their original size. “You what?! Draco, what do you mean you cursed—”

Draco hurriedly put his hand over his girlfriend’s mouth. “Shh! Someone could hear you,” he whispered. “We can talk about this more in the morning, alright? We can’t discuss this here, but I promise you, Y/N. I promise you I’ll tell you what’s been going on. Just not here,” he said firmly.

“You’ll tell me everything?” she asked, her eyes shined with newfound hope. 

Draco nodded. “Everything.”

-----------

The couple sat across from each other, each on top of random objects within the Room of Requirement. Y/N’s hands rested, overtop her lips as she took in everything Draco had just told her. Several minutes of silence passed. “Love...please say something,” Draco pleaded. Y/N straightened her back and inhaled sharply. Her eyes flickered to Draco’s. “So you mean to tell me that you’re a death eater because of your dad and you inadvertently cursed Katie because you were actually trying to kill Dumbledore because you-know-who told you to? And you’ve also been sneaking off so you can fix a cabinet that’ll allow other death eaters to get inside Hogwarts?” she asked, the words flying out of her mouth at lightning speed.

Draco rubbed his neck and stared at his feet. He waited a few beats before replying, “Yes.” Stillness overtook the vast room. Neither teenager uttered a word. Y/N was too deep in her thoughts, and Draco was anxiously awaiting her next sentence. He was so worried that his confession would drive Y/N away from him for good. Even though that would be a good thing for her safety, Draco knew it would break him in the long run. 

“Can I see it?” Y/N asked quietly. Draco recognized the fear in her voice almost instantaneously. But regardless, he nodded and stood up. Y/N paused but stood up as well. Apprehensively, Draco grasped the end of his sleeve and slowly rolled it up to reveal his dark mark. He felt his entire body clench with fear. Draco's eyes were glued to his girlfriend’s face, searching for some kind of indication as to what she was feeling. But her eyes were empty as she gazed at the permanent image on his arm. Slowly, she outstretched her hand and placed her fingertips on the skull embedded in his skin. Her touch caused a shudder to run up Draco’s spine. He felt uncomfortable that a soul as pure as Y/N’s was touching something so inherently dark and evil. 

“Does it hurt?” she asked while removing her hand and shifting her gaze to Draco’s face. He began to roll his sleeve back down. “Sometimes,” he mumbled.

Y/N could see the nervousness on her boyfriend’s face. She knew he was scared of how she’d react to his confession, so she decided to give him some reassurance. “Draco, look at me,” she ordered gently. He tilted his head up to make eye contact with Y/N. She continued, “I love you. I love you so much. I know you, and I know you’ve just dug yourself in too deep. You didn’t realize what you were getting into. I mean, how could you?” she asked. 

Draco nodded, a tear escaping his eye. “I only wanted to impress him. I wanted to make him proud of me. Hell, I wanted to make The Dark Lord proud. But I can’t do it, Y/N, I can’t.” Draco was full-on crying now. His shoulders rose and fell violently as sobs overtook him. “Wanted to impress who, love?” Y/N asked softly as she took her lover into her arms. “My father, he—” Draco couldn’t finish his sentence; his tears were too uncontrollable.

Y/N felt her eyes begin to well up with her own tears as she placed her hand on his nape. She gently stroked him, trying to soothe him. Draco removed his hands from his face and wrapped them around Y/N tightly, wanting to hold her. She was providing him comfort, but he knew that this couldn’t be easy for Y/N either. So he hugged her. And for a long time... that was all they did. They held one another and cried with one another. Neither knew what to say or what to think. Neither knew what the next step should be, but at that moment, they knew they would take that step together. And for now, that was enough.

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@jud3cardan

[marie95disneygirl]

How Kingdom Hearts ruined the Ven and Vanitas storyline

I’m very frustrated how the Ven and Vanitas backstory is written at the moment. Now that we know Ven was in fact possessed by an evil spirit and that Darkness will end up in his heart like we saw in remind, everything is pointing to it being Vanitas and to BBS being retconned. It is just an awful idea and writing decision that will destroy the themes of BBS, will make everything that happened in BBS look absolutely pointless and worst of all will make what Xehanort did to Ven now look like a good thing, ugh even though it was meant to be the most cruel thing and can be seen as a metaphor for child abuse. Sadly, however I can kinda understand why they are doing it. Giving Ven a prequel backstory can only have one reason: To explain why he had so much darkness that could manifest into a separate person. There is absolutely no other reason to give Ven a backstory because we already learned everything else in BBS and in my opinion, they should have just left it there because the backstory he had was completely fine and enough for me. Prequels are always a bad idea because you must get the characters to a certain state that’s already set at the end. (So, I would never want to write a prequel because it limits the creative writing freedom.) Besides there are other characters like Terra who also have darkness and it‘s never explained how he got it. But they probably thought they had to explain somehow why Vanitas was so much stronger than Ven and why he was able to live properly after they were separated while Ven was dying. So, they likely thought they have to explain this somehow by giving them a backstory. However, when writing a backstory about the original Ven before he was ripped in half creates a very big problem: Everybody will just look at him as only BBS Ven when in reality it’s actually a combination of BBS Ven and Vanitas. But that is entirely the writers’ fault for making Vanitas look completely different while Ven looks exactly the same as before! Seriously why does Vanitas look like Sora and not like Ven??? He is supposed to be Vens dark side so he should look like an evil Ven not an evil Sora!!!!! Ugh, Vanitas looking like Sora is in my opinion just as much nonsense as this retcon!!! IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL!!!!  It also means we were robbed of an evil looking Ven! (I know there’s Ventus-Vanitas but he is only in one short scene and is always forgotten) There is just no logic at all when you make Vanitas look like a person who at this point in time didn’t even look like that yet and who is actually not connected to Vanitas at all because when Sora connected with Ven, Vanitas was already out of his heart!!! Again, why doesn’t he just look like Ven with black hair and yellow eyes??? The obvious answer is: They thought we can’t have three Roxases so let’s just make a second Sora even though it makes no sense at all and just make up a convoluted reason why he looks that way. Thanks, I hate it!!! If they would have just made Vanitas look like Ven, it would have been much easier for the audience to understand they are supposed to be the same person!! You know, when I was a little kid and played BBS for the first time, I wasn’t very good in English, so I didn’t understand at all that Vanitas was supposed to be Vens dark side. I only found out about it a few years ago when I replayed it and was better in English. I was incredibly confused as a kid why Vanitas looked the way he does and couldn’t even understand that he and Ven were supposed to be the same character. If they would have just designed Vanitas as an evil looking Ven, I would have understood immediately that he is Vens dark side. It would have also given a logical reason for why he wears that mask!!! You know if he looked like Ventus, it would have made sense for him to hide his face so that he won’t reveal the truth to Ven and Aqua!! But with him looking like Sora, I don’t understand at all why he even hides his face!!! No one of them knew Sora at this point and Sora didn’t even look like that when BBS is set, he looked like a little kid!! So the writers created two heavy plot holes in BBS (by having Vanitas look like Sora and not like Ven who he is supposed to be) that they could have easily solved if they would have just designed Vanitas as an evil Ven, ugh!!!!! So what if they are three Roxases???? They could have still given Vanitas black hair to make him stand out among three Roxases, so why didn’t they just do that???? I believe it was just fanservice, you know giving the Sora fans an evil looking Sora even though that’s not Sora AT ALL!!! I just hate it!!! Everything would have been fine, there would actually be logic in KH and there would be no reason to retcon BBS at all if they would have just made Vanitas look like Ven!!!!! Let me explain: When giving the original Ven a backstory there’s the problem that everyone will look at him and think he’s completely the same character as BBS Ven when he is actually not!! And that’s like I already wrote because Ven looks like the original Ventus when Vanitas looks completely different! So, I can’t really blame the fans for treating the original Ven like he’s absolutely the same character as in BBS when in reality, Vanitas is also in there!!! And with everyone thinking that’s the same as BBS Ven, there’s the problem that if they make him act differently, everyone will just scream: That’s not my Ven, how dare they change him!! The Ven fans would have been angry. That’s why I knew they couldn’t make him the murderer alone because then everyone would have just attacked BBS Ven and hated him even though that’s not entirely him, that’s Ven+Vanitas!!! But people don’t understand!!!! That’s exactly why I hated the thought of Ven being the killer because I knew how the fandom would have treated BBS Ven even though it wouldn’t have been his fault alone!!!! And that’s only because they had to make Vanitas look differently!!! If him and Ven would have looked the same, it would have been easier for the audience to understand KHUX Ven isn’t just BBS Ven but Ven and Vanitas combined!!! And because of that stupid mistake (making vanitas look differently) they couldn’t have the original Ven act differently than BBS Ven, they had to let him act exactly the same.  But that creates another big problem: How do you explain Vanitas??? If the original Ventus acts completely the same as BBS Ven, why does Vanitas act differently??? Where did he come from???  They could have just avoided that problem altogether if they wouldn’t have given him a backstory at all, ugh!!! Some fans would probably argue Vanitas acts so different than Ven because of his novel backstory where he was abused by Xehanort and became so evil only because of the abuse. But the thing is: The novel and his backstory are not exactly canon! And they never will be unless they show exactly what happened in the novel in a game! But as long as they don’t do that, the novel will not be canon and we can’t use it as proof to explain Vanitas! And there’s also the problem that in my opinion the novel doesn’t really fit Xehanorts character. He seems more like a lying manipulator who would at least pretend to be nice to Vanitas to get him to forge the X-blade for him.  You know like he tricked Terra by pretending to be nice to him. If he tortured him all the time, he would have risked that Vanitas will turn against him as soon as he gets the X-blade. So in my opinion the novel backstory doesn‘t really fit with the game portrayal of Xehanort, so I don’t consider them canon unless they show it in the game. But back to the topic: Because of their stupid mistake of making Vanitas not look like Ven, they had to have the original Ven act exactly like BBS Ven, but because of that, there is that huge plot hole that Vanitas acts differently! So, they now probably thought they have to explain that plot hole somehow and an easy solution for that is to make Vanitas a separate character that was only trapped inside of Vens heart. This of course creates even more plot holes like why was there a part of Vens heart missing, why did he almost die without it and why does Vanitas say he is the other half of Ven all the time??? These are all huge plot holes but you know, Vanitas being Vens dark side and looking like Sora while hiding his face even though he and everyone else at the time never saw Sora are also huge plot holes that make no sense at all!!! So KH having plot holes is not new at all and they kinda already ruined the Ven and Vanitas story at the very beginning by having a character that was split into two characters having one side that looks like him and one who doesn’t look like him at all!!! The theme of splitting a character into a good and evil side also happened in other series but they handled that much better than KH: they had the good side look like a good version of the character and the bad side look like an evil version of the character just as it should be!!! They don’t have the evil side looking like a completely different character because then it would be much harder for everyone to understand that the good side isn’t the original!!! The point of these storylines is always to show that you need both good and evil to be whole, not that the good side is the only one that should be considered the original!!!!! Ugh, the Ven and Vanitas storyline had so much potential, it could have shown that you need both light and darkness to be a whole person!!! But instead they treat it like the dark side has no right to be considered the original by having him look like a different character while the light side gets to keep the appearance and like the darkness needs to be destroyed!!!  I mean they always end their story by having Vanitas be defeated instead of having him go back to Ven and saying: Yes, Ven needs his dark side, everyone does!!! There’s so much potential: they could have them rejoin and saying: well the villain does have a point, light and darkness need to be balanced, we can’t have one without the other!!! Besides they didn’t ask for this: to be sifted apart nice and neat!!! It was a horrible crime that’s a metaphor for child abuse!!!! So, they shouldn’t end it by letting Vanitas die but by having them rejoin!!! If I wrote that story, I would first of all make Vanitas look like Ven!!!! Seriously that’s how he should look like!!!! By making him look different you are making it look like only the light side is the real one when you could have easily made it look like they both are the real one!!!! Then secondly, I wouldn’t have made the original Ven exactly like BBS Ven, I would have made him like a combination of them or not give them a backstory at all!! And finally, I would have made them rejoin, not having them destroy Vanitas!!! With how the story is now they are reinforcing the idea that darkness should be destroyed, and they already make it look like what Xehanort did, wasn’t so bad because metaphorically they are keeping them in their abused state by not having them rejoin. But anyways, what I’m actually trying to say here is that of course I would hate it if they retcon the story by having Vanitas be Darkness because that would ruin their story but the thing is: They already ruined their story way back in BBS by having Vanitas look different instead of having him look like an evil Ven!!!!(I can’t say this too many times because that is what should have been!) This simple huge mistake makes every backstory for them extremely difficult and they shouldn’t have given them one in the first place!!! But now that they made this second huge mistake, it’s almost inevitable to retcon their story!!! They must explain somehow why Vanitas is so different from the original Ven while BBS Ven is the exact same!! Sure, they could have taken the novel backstory, but I just think that’s too violent and unnecessary cruel and also doesn’t fit with Xehanorts character. So, adapting the novel backstory wouldn’t be such a good idea! Instead they will probably retcon the story, of course that creates many plot holes but they will probably give explanations that are just as convoluted as the reason why Vanitas looks like Sora. And plot holes are nothing new in the KH world. So, I don’t really care anymore if their story gets retconned because I realized it is already ruined simply because they don’t look the same!!!

[fandomjuxtaposition]

Arya’s behavior vs. Gendry’s

I’ve been thinking about this a lot today, and I want to clarify something I said in response to a post recently. In discussing the way Arya is portrayed in fics, I said something along the lines of I understood why fic writers have trouble dealing with the behavior we were shown on screen. Trying to explain it, rationalize it, etc. Because the Arya Stark that occasionally popped up in season 8 was absolutely not the Arya Stark that I know and love, and I said that Arya’s behavior was, in my mind, worse than Gendry’s and that he had the right to be angry with her, and I feel like I need to explain what I meant, because I do not mean her behavior as a whole. I mean one very specific thing, and that’s the way she left him vs. the way he left her.

Putting the rest of this under a cut because I am very wordy and don’t want to make you scroll endlessly if you plan to ignore this.

When Gendry left her in season 3, as far as they both knew, she was about to be reunited with her family. With her mother and her brother who was the King in the North. Gendry was absolutely correct that she would not have been allowed to be his family. She would have been removed from his company and she would have been "m'lady." 

Their class differences as a highborn lady and a baseborn bastard would have been glaring, and there's no way Catelyn Stark would have let him have any kind of relationship with her. He would have been relegated to the sidelines of her life, and he was well aware of that. So he chose to remove himself before that could happen. 

And he had no way of knowing what was going to happen. He had no way to know that he would be sold or that her family would die, or that she would end up all alone. To his mind, finding a home with the Brotherhood probably seemed like the best option at the time. And he regretted it, you could see it in the way he spoke to her, in his body language. He was sorry to have to do it. But he did, and he told her he was doing it.

Yes, it hurt her. It hurt her very badly because she couldn't see it. In her mind, he was rejecting her, not the unfortunate circumstances, but her, and that hurt. And I'm not saying Gendry was wrong or right to choose to stay or she was wrong or right to be hurt by it. Because there's two sides to it, and they're both valid.

Now, if we look at solely what was shown on screen, Arya's leaving of Gendry, to me, doesn't compare in the same way. I'm not talking about her rejection of his proposal, although the way they had her just turn and continue shooting was needlessly cold. And I'm not saying she should have accepted it as it was worded on screen. (Let's be honest anyway, that proposal existed solely to break them apart, it simply doesn't make sense.) 

What I'm talking about is the after. They never interact again on screen. He's left standing there heartbroken, and they make her out to be almost indifferent to it which I think is completely and utterly wrong. So, I try to rationalize it that she's not indifferent, she's suppressing all those emotions because she's scared of what they mean, and her heart eyes and the way her face falls could be interpreted that way (Thank you, Maisie Williams for the way you played those scenes). 

But her not speaking to him ever again? Just sailing off and completely ignoring the man who had once meant the world to her? That's hard to explain, and that's the thing I mean by worse because there's no good reason for it. Not at all, no matter how you look at it. And Gendry would not be wrong to be angry or hurt about that.

He would understand why she turned him down. He's not an idiot. He knows he said things the wrong way, but to have a friend, a very good friend with whom you underwent the trauma they did together, the only person you could really trust at one point, to have that person ignore you? To walk away and (going by what we saw on screen) never look back? That shit hurts, and it's completely understandable for him to be hurt/angry/upset by her on screen behavior.

Now, if they had shown the two of them having a conversation after that stupid proposal, something where they had some kind of closure or just anything that acknowledged their shared history, their friendship that existed before they slept together, then I don't think we'd have so much to try to explain. But we got nothing. No resolution, no logical following of story structure, no explanations. 

Instead, we got Arya who had spent years trying to get back to her family, just sailing away because according to the script she's no longer Arya Stark, and that's BS. If we had gotten that conversation, then I don't think Gendry would be angry when she returned, but because we didn't, because the last thing we saw between them was Arya turning her back on him and then never speaking again, then I think he's allowed to be a little angry and hurt, even when he's thrilled she's back.

Because people are allowed to be angry when someone they love hurts them. It doesn't make them bad people or mean that the one who acted poorly needs punishing, but real people apologize when they hurt someone. Especially when they hurt someone they love. It's part of growing as a person, admitting when you've done something wrong or hurtful and owning up to it and accepting that there are consequences to said behavior. 

And I don't think it’s wrong to look at Arya’s on screen behavior and think she acted poorly. It was shit writing, and the character of Arya Stark would never behave that way, but that's what we were given. And that's what I meant when I said I understood how difficult it is to reconcile it.

Do I think he'd hate her for what she did? Absolutely not. Does she need to be punished? Hell no. But apologizing is not punishment. Recognizing that you hurt someone is not punishment. Having someone upset with you is not punishment. Not immediately getting over something is not punishment. They are human reactions, and in my opinion, completely understandable ones. 

So, yeah, considering all of this, I think that if you compared the way they left each other, Arya’s behavior is worse then Gendry’s. That doesn’t mean I hate Arya or think she deserves to be treated badly, or that Gendry should punish her for leaving that way. I think when she shows back up in Westeros (because she is coming back, none of this Arya sails off the edge of the world nonsense), he might be mad for about a day. Occasionally, he might be reminded of the hurt he felt and need a little space to brood about it, but ultimately, none of it matters because he loves her and he’s more than willing (and happy) to get over his anger and hurt because he wants her and she wants him. 

[theda-rison]

Camp Nano July 2020 - Results, Discussion, and Conclusion

the Like, wow, Scoob! 

Camp Nano July 2020 is done, and here are some thoughts:

I always knew that writing a comic script was going to be a learning experience - I’ve never written a comic script so it really couldn’t be anything except for a learning experience - but hoooooo boy, was it ever!

Before starting I couldn’t find anything on how long comic scripts normally are; I don’t know why, that just seems information that isn’t really shared? (If anyone knows of a resource, please send it to me!) I’m guessing it has a lot to do with there just being less comic writers than there are say, book writers and movie writers. That’s probably what happens when your interests are niche in some way, it’s just harder to find anything about them.

FORTUNATELY, I have the fancy library-bound volumes of The Sandman, and there’s excerpts of the scripts in the back. Which like… thank you @neil-gaiman​, or whoever made that decision, because being able to look at an actual script and see how it’s formatted and what’s included has been the biggest help. Even the “How to Write a Comic Script!” videos I found on YouTube didn’t have example scripts which... I don’t know, I don’t get it. Please include examples, comic YouTubers. I am confusion.

Now is the time for a sexy graph, because we are the kind of people who keep Excel spreadsheets of word counts and make graphs for fun.

Anyway, let’s look at…

[Good. I was listening to As The World Falls Down by David Bowie over and over, and now this is stuck in my head again. I don’t know why I do these things to myself. Also, I love Peter Tork’s face during some of the “AAAHHHH”s lol]

I can’t remember if I stated this before or during Camp at any point, but my goal was 60k words. I dislike aspiring for un-round numbers like “1667″ every day. Any number I could possibly pick is arbitrary, but for some reason the classic Nanowrimo number of 1667 seems even more arbitrary. “2000″ is a much better number. And, I can generally write 2000 words in two hours before running out of steam, so it works out well. It also divides better.

Having said that, you might be thinking, “Theda, the end Actual number on your graph is a lot closer to 90k than it is 60k,” and you would be right, good eyes. Were I Brandon Sanderson and you were one of my students, I would toss you a gummi bear. As it is, you’re not my student and I have no gummi bears and I’m not even Brandon Sanderson… so life is just upsetting I guess.

[But I am back to listening to As The World Falls Down, so I suppose it all works out.]

Back to the graph: The Actual. Look at this wavy-fucking-scalloped-fucking progression. Look at it. I can’t tell if it makes me happy or angry or what, but I know it gives me some kind of feeling. I think I like it from a purely aesthetic point of view, but from the point of the view of the person who made it, it annoys me.

I had a couple of days where I - in my infinite stupidity - didn’t really elaborate on what was supposed to happen in some of the scenes in my scene list and so I spent my “Writing!” time (as it’s labeled in my planner) not writing, but looking at the page cursing myself for not having written any directions for me, a directionless person.

You may also notice that the Goal bars suddenly jump up on the 24th day,. That’s because - in my infinite wisdom - I redid my goals after reaching 60k. It just makes more sense to me to be like, “Well, I punched that goal in the face. Let’s try and go WAY overboard,” because I have the Too Much gene and as Henry Rollins says: “Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.” I wouldn’t say that’s a personal philosophy so much as a Thing I Am Compelled To Do Or I Will Die.

But that’s just me.

As for the trend line, I prefer it looking more steep because that’s way more gratifying, but that’s what I get for writing parts of my scene list like, “That’s okay, Future Me will take care of it!” Past Me, you are a dick and you need to stop doing these things. You are a bastard.

Now for the table! 

[I’m sorry if that’s very small.]

And this time I’m showing you the actual table I use to write down my words. Complicated? Yes. Sexy? Very yes. A little annoying? Also yes. Do we get a little worried that she works too hard and refuses to take a vacation? We do, but we also know that she does it because she loves her work, and we love and support her and bring her snacks throughout the workday to keep her going. What a great table.

First of all: Yes, my first writing block is at 4am. It’s because I have a day job and if I write from 4-6 I can use my brain right when it’s freshly slumbered instead of using it for nonsense at work all day and being unable to write and aggravated because my mental capacity is nil and I no longer know what words are. In an ideal world I would be able to write all day but, here we are.

You might notice there’s a lot of 0’s in the 4am block, especially in the fourth week, and that’s more so because - in my infinite infiniteness (infinity?) - I am secretly an ice giant (but like, smaller) and it’s summer and the northern hemisphere is Too Hot and I literally will not be able to sleep at night until about December. Until then, I am forced to understand what it’s like to be a jacket potato for half of the year so I can empathize with their starchy pain because this is, for whatever reason, Important.

It me. (Recipe)

Anyway,

My record day was 7519 on the 10th, which is just sexy and fun and cool and everything we want, and my lowest was a big fat 0 on the 16th.

I felt super motivated for reasons I don’t remember on the 10th. This is because I didn’t have my planner yet and was not keeping notes anywhere else at that time. (It’s an undated Daily Passion Planner, in case you’re also a slut for planners and wish to know ;) ). I think I was trying to do a 10k day just for funzies? Which, technically, at 2k words in 2 hours I should be able to do 10k in 5, but cell phones exist (and are too distracting), and until I shed my corporeal form I still have to do things like “make food and eat it,” and “get up to pee,” and “experience all the vagaries and horrors of human existence.” I’m hoping it clears up soon. 

The 16th was the day that Future Me took Past Me by the hand and said, “My good bitch, you need to stop doing that thing where you leave shit for me because you run out of motivation or executive function or whatever the fuck is happening where you decide you don’t want to do something anymore, seemingly at random. You deciding to leave school before the day even started because you were bored may have been cute when you were a kid - and also annoying for everyone around you, and just alarming that time they had to pry your hands off the door molding as you held on to it and screamed - but as an adult you are both the cause of and the person who has to deal with this bullshit, and you need to stop.”

On the 16th I went to the Shrine of the Self (sorry, I’ve been reading a lot of manga lately) and made an offering for forgiveness, and then hunkered down and added a TON of notes and partially written scenes to my scene list. You can see how much that helped; it’s almost like having direction is actually useful, lol.

BUT, despite all that direction and despite punching my goal in the face, breaking it’s glasses, and taking it’s lunch money, the script is not finished!

Here’s some math as of the 23rd:

There are 124 points in my outline On the 23rd, I had completed 44 of those points, at 363 pages or 59,601 words 124 / 44 = 2.81 Now we check: 44 * 2.81 = 123.6 (close enough) So as of the 23rd, the projection for completing the script was: 363 * 2.81 = 1,020 pages 59,601 * 2.81 = 157,479 words

Now, I don’t know what the fuck that means because I don’t really do numbers, but at the time of the 23rd it looked an awful lot like I wasn’t going to finish this Camp project. And uh… hey, that was correct.

So I’m going to be continuing Camp Nano July 2020, but also in August 2020, over about 20 more days (providing I hit my goal every day.)

So:

IF -> I need to get up to 158,000; 158,000 - 86,000 = 72,000 words need to be written. (I'm rounding the total up because I canNOT imagine this script being somehow smaller than that at this point, and I’m rounding my Camp total down because who cares about 72 words?) I divided 72,000 from a few numbers until I got a word goal I was okay with, that I think I can do, here’s that one: 72,000 / 20 days = 3,600 words a day (This would mean I can either do 2k in the morning and then 1600 later, or the reverse. You know, whatever way I feel spicy that day.) THEN -> I need to write 3,600 words a day for 20 days to (hopefully) finish this script before work picks up at the end of August.

And then I’ll chill from the end of August - October (except for maybe some short stories or essays. I have a lot of Thoughts and they need to be purged from my brain for my own good). And then I’ll use Nanowrimo Classic (November) to edit this fucker.

SO… that’s some stuff.

As I said at the beginning this endeavor was only ever going to be a learning experience. Having to write 158k words total doesn’t scare me, the longest thing I’ve written yet was something like 190k words. Trying to finish it before the end of August is the daunting part. Especially since being able to be creative right now just keeps making my brain puke out more ideas, and then there’s too many ideas and I’m just writing them all down and hopefully I can get to them later.

Anyway, good job on Camp Nano July 2020 everyone! We did it!

And if you didn’t do it: don’t worry, you’ll do it next time :D

[summerspn]

Felicity

Tv series (1998-2002)

Spoilers...

I’ve gradually been watching Felicity for the past few months & have completed watching the series. I gotta say it’s charming & oddly addictive.

At the beginning of the series Felicity (Keri Russell) is an extremely shy & introverted character. She’s adorable. We see her proudly graduating high school but also feeling some trepidation about it. Naturally.

She sees her high school crush, Ben Covington, (Scott Speedman) at their high school graduation & decides to just go & talk to him. She regretted not getting to know him before. So she fixes that. Her yearbook had some sort of printing issue so they gave it to her on graduation day. So she asks Ben to sign her yearbook.

Surprisingly he sits down & writes a very thoughtful message to her. It’s sweet & inspiring. She decides to follow him to New York & she gets into NYU.

In tv land one can get into school in just a couple months - ya know completely ignoring the hundreds of people waitlisted lol That made me chuckle when watching. No big deal though.

Felicity gets to school & realizes Ben was just a nice guy & wasn’t in love with her of course. So she gets a bit of a reality check.

She makes a few friends & lives in the biggest dorm room on the history of planet Earth!

My room in my old dorm was ‘big’ and it had 3 feet of space between the beds...much bigger than my sister’s dorm lol

Felicity is likeable because she’s sweet, smart, shy & confused & just trying to figure her life out. All she knew is she didn’t want med school as her parents kept trying to shove it down her throat.

Ben is a nice guy who struggles with feeling stupid sometimes (though is actually really smart). He struggled with some of his classes & lacks a clear path for his major.

Occasionally Ben has these lines & that message in the yearbook which made me stop & go ‘you’re a writer’. I kept thinking he was going to become a writer...then in season four he decides to be a doctor. Okay...it was an alright decision & I like his academic plot lines in season 4 so no real complaints there.

We meet Noel Crane (Scott Foley)who is super dreamy. He’s smart, nice, outspoken but sensitive. A straight laced student & Resident Advisor (RA) who becomes Felicity’s friend & has a crush on her.

Throughout the series that’s the love triangle. It was interesting but there was far too much emphasis on it. Often it overshadowed the more interesting storylines on the show, IMO.

Noel pines for Felicity & loses sight of his life then soon graduates without a plan then later develops depression. I thought that was a great storyline. Noel’s family history of depression was compelling & how the character described it was very well done.

Back then tv shows didn’t talk about mental illness but this was handled delicately.

Noel gets help & gets better. He gets his life back on track, pursuing his dream of graphic design. There’s a line where he gets teased for liking computers...ya know as only ‘nerds’ like that stuff 😂

Felicity’s roommate Meghan Rotundi (Amanda Foreman) is a bit of a goth/Wicca practitioner. Every other character wear clothes I assume that are from The Gap so Meghan looks very different in her black mesh clothes & dark makeup. Nice contrast but I feel like Meghan’s development was overlooked for the most part of the series. She’s very blunt, unapologetic, sometimes mean...but she also cares for others even though she’ll deny it.

In her romantic life there’s growth but not academically. It’s only in the end of the last season does she realize she wants to pursue psychiatry. I think there were some missed opportunities there.

Though I will say I like that her uptight parents accept her for her quirks & clothing choices.

Sean Blumberg (Greg Grunberg) ...I have mixed feelings about his character. He’s an ambitious inventor & sort-of businessman. He owns a loft where Ben sublets /shares with him. Sean’s nice, caring & excitable. He’s also several years older. Around 5 or 6yrs difference I think.

His age difference was brought up several times, as if it were supposed to be important. In my last year of school I lived with a woman who was 15 years older than me. So what? Not a big deal. I’m not sure why the show kept pointing it out.

The only issue with his age is that at one point he’s 27 and STILL has no steady job. None! He’s all-in with his inventions that make no money & his family isn’t rich so how does that work now? He has a loft in New York with zero income? One episode talked of him owing money but come on, get rid of the loft, downsize then get a job, even if part time. *sigh*.

At the start of the series I liked Sean but then they turned him into a pathetic leech who gets mad & throws tantrums easily. He became incredibly annoying.

When I was near the end of the series I started to think that Sean would actually make a good salesman. Imagine him trying to sell cars, just the right amount of pushy. Though they put an episode in that made him look like a buffoon when making a sales pitch. So I feel like the writers were confused or trying to sabotage his character because he still ends up leeching off his buddy Noel & they end up business partners. 🤷‍♀️

Sean & Meghan date & eventually marry. I thought they were cute together at first but not as long term. I feel like Meghan would murder him due to being sick of his shit.

Elena Tyler (Tangi Miller) becomes a good friend to Felicity. All the ladies care for each other a great deal. Elena is very intelligent & a hard worker. She had a few romances & nearly got married. But I’ll be honest I found her boring. Not sure why. I think the most interesting part of her character was that she chose not to marry her fiancé Tracy. I thought it was a very smart move. And I found her background with her mom interesting but they didn’t do much with that.

Richard Coad starts out as an annoying member of the dorm. He & Noel become friends then later gets befriended by the group. Richard is a neurotic, blunt talking mess. He’s somehow still kinda adorable though does have some rough spots. I really liked him up through season 3. Season 4 he was in much less and then the writers turned him into a racist moron. Even if he had those thoughts I feel like his character would be more subtle & not as rude due to his overly developed sense of self preservation. Plus he’s not stupid, just blunt & a bit disconnected.

He did apologize but still it felt just so...wrong. Out of character even.

In any case I think the writers should have made him a little more like Rob Benedict, the actor who played him. Rob’s loveable.

Javier Quintata (Ian Gomez) is the owner at the coffee shop Dean & Deluca. He’s the boss but becomes very close with everyone, especially Felicity. I really liked him at first. Eventually his personal favours become outlandish & his stories started to make my eyes roll.

He & his devoted husband break up over non-issues. Why? It added nothing to the plot. Javier also wants to pursue acting at NYU. He’s really not good so it came off as a dumb idea & all scenes in acting class become annoying. I feel like the writers didn’t know what to do with him. I’d have preferred if he pursued a different dream- one that made sense. Like maybe all the years working with coffee & pastries inspires him to want to be a chef? 🤷‍♀️

Felicity. Throughout the series she’s shy, gradually getting more of a backbone. She admits to loving art & wants to pursue it. Her parents constantly pull her down , try to talk her out if it, even bully & manipulate her. She is for the most part uncompromising. I loved that! She held her ground & from a person like her, who always kept the peace at the expense of her own happiness, that’s amazing.

We see her grow though she spends far too much time angst-ing over Ben & Noel. Often she seems tortured with very few moments of being free & having fun.

I loved how in season 4 she befriends fellow artist Owen. I feel like that was huge. I loved how they went to galleries together & talked about their art & life. It was refreshing. I love that Felicity’s honours art class was so important to her & everything around that plot.

I hated however, how she always put others first.

So...I have to mention Felicity’s haircut from Season 2. I didn’t find it that bad...but apparently Keri Russell got death threats from it. Complete insanity!

Though I do think as it was 1999 back then, people were more uptight with personal style. If she had dyed her hair pink instead people would have flipped out too.

I do think there were better hair styles to choose from though. I think if she had a cut her hair to chin length & straightened it it could look pretty & still have a big impact. Something like that.

But honestly it’s just hair. I had a horrible haircut one year in university but it grew out on a few months & was fine. No big deal....but I wasn’t on tv so no one cared I guess 🤷‍♀️

In the ‘series finale’ , Felicity abruptly chooses medicine. Why??? That uncompromising love for painting just gone....And back to medicine? I wanted her to be an artist!

Every artist has a day job to support them. Felicity was acting like she was going to starve because she couldn’t sell her paintings.

I wish they found her a day job she really liked to support herself. I wanted her to be all-in.

Or they could find her a middle ground. That internship at the architectural firm, she could have realized she wanted to be an architect or something. Something other than medicine.

I really like though that she chose herself finally. Then Ben follows her to school. That was perfect. I just wished she didn’t want to be a doctor. I feel like that goes against everything she wanted.

Overall a great series. I love how they approach mental health - Felicity’s too. She was getting therapy regularly. It was nice to see. Very healthy.

I like JJ Abrams’ work but I (like everyone else) question the last several episodes. Nonsensical & out of place.

Personally I think the show should have put less emphasis on the romantic relationships & drama & more on self discovery by all characters. That’s more interesting...then sprinkle in a few moments here and there. A few episodes on love etc each season. We didn’t need the constant longing looks & drama of Will they won’t they.

I know I’m in a minority when it comes to such things but I feel the media - tv & movies especially focus WAY too much on the romance.

Then of course people like me who are borderline Asexual (except when it comes to fictional characters lol), I find it exhausting to always be bombarded with romance from all angles. However, if Felicity (and other shows) just used it occasionally & not every single episode I wouldn’t mind.

It’s just hard to care about a show if it just feels like it’s only about relationships and not much about life. But that’s just me.

The storylines that had me intensely interested in this show were:

- Ben’s relationship with his dad

- Ben gaining self confidence & realizing he’s actually smart

- Noel’s graphic designs & career

- Noel’s mental health

- Meghan’s rebellious nature & wanting to see what happens when she gets over the need to rebel (though we didn’t see much of it).

- Felicity’s parents’ attitude - I wanted them to see that they were wrong & admit it to her (though they don’t) 😞

- Wanting to see Richard find something he was really interested in & good at (which never happened)

- Wanting Felicity to have fun! Random silliness or parties...they rarely partied or did weird outings to things like paintball or bowling. College is for doing a million things. I wish tv land would do more if this

- Wanting Felicity to stop making decisions because of her love interests

- Wanting Felicity to go on a summer trip or internship to Europe on her own (never happened)

- Wanting Felicity to choose art (also didn’t happen) & support herself with either a job she simply likes (dog waking, tutoring, retail etc) or something in the art field (art therapy, illustrator etc)

To me these should have been the priorities & add romance occasionally...

But overall the series was good. The acting was really good from everyone. Even minor characters had pretty good actors. So well done!

The actors are great in other projects too. Keri Russell was in The Americans, even the Rise of Skywalker. Never saw them but I heard great things. Personally I really liked her in Austenland, August Rush, Mission Impossible 3 (small but great role), and I LOVED her in the movie Waitress.

Definitely give the actors a watch in other projects, even if you have mixed feelings about them in Felicity. They’re all good.

[seenashwrite]

Notes From Nash: Season 15, Episode 3

It's ep three, and was third try the charm? Well, we're still in that little town, which is infuriating. But don't lose hope, chickadees. There was some character arc action and some plot advancing, and just drama in general, and it moved at a decently quick clip, all of which is refreshing after last week's ass-disaster of an episode. 

If I were grading this ep, all things considered (including some damn fine acting moments that elevated the material), it's an A-. (Five points were docked immediately because we were still in the little town.) But seriously, this week's writer(s) had a LOT to make up for given the aforementioned last week as well as a largely lackluster premiere, so you know what? Props to them. 

We got a loose end from season past tied up, got rid of some dead weight, and then there was a thing that happened that I’m not entirely sure was necessary at this interval, but I get why it happened. Of course, we had our requisite random hamfisted “solution(s)” and still-unexplained bits that should’ve been clarified ages ago, can’t not have those, it seems. Regardless, this episode was actually fairly interesting to watch. I’m still wary about the state of the season after the first two, but this one had some spark.

Spoilers below the cut, you know the drill.  

This one's in order, I was jotting stuff down as I watched. Past ep breakdowns linked at the bottom. If you’re new, hello, welcome, etc., I don’t do meta shit or reading into the symbolism of the color of a blurry wallpaper just over someone’s shoulder, I look at writing and cohesiveness and structure and flow and all that jazz. I basically just call things as I see ‘em. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

More spooky-scary still seems to be pouring from the hellpit, but at least this crypt is pretty, and Harry Potter tent-esque because the square feet inside is seemingly bigger than the outside.  

Rowena appears to be outfitted in one of my grandmother's housedresses, or a coffin lining, or a 1980s prom dress, whichever you prefer, and none of them have been pressed. I'm trying to say I don't like it. They also continue to do Ruthie's makeup in such a manner that she perpetually looks approximately fifteen years older than she actually is, so in a way I'm thankful this is likely her last episode. On the other hand, I trust these writers and the people who assemble/green light the promos about as far as I can throw them, so we shall see. In any event, Ruthie is quite the good actor and I hope she gets a million gigs after all this is done.  

This Sam-Dean moment with Creased Brow Sam and Gruff Voice Dean is falling so flat, not because of them, but because we're hearing The Same Damn Thing We've Already Heard. Move the plot along, please----- Oh wait here comes Belphagor once again with a solution, this time a nice little plot rescue MacGuffin! Lilith's Crook. Just gotta blow it like a horn. 

Motherbitch, this is stupid.

I got a thought: make it Gabriel's horn, so it calls in all the angels who should've come back with the reverse-y switch-a-roo, and they deal with sealing the hole, but bonus! At end of ep last scene is that it's also called Gabriel back, too. I'd announce to the universe that this show needs to hire me, but, welp.

Oh look, Ketch is in a hospital gown. Oh look, I bet Ketch is about to die in that hospital gown, instead of a badass suit like it should be. It looked like DHJ accidentally spoiled via a tweet that I happened to see----- 

I dodge the promo images and articles and such so I can give a view of someone who doesn't know what is coming in these things. 

-----because he talked about coming back just to leave again, that it was a pleasure, whatever, and y'all will have to fill me in on that because I kinda can't believe he whiffed that hard. I'm not looking it up, is my point. Did he whiff? Actually, don't answer that, I don't care. I mean, don’t go to trouble looking into it on my account.  

Hmmm. Was Ketch’s death entirely necessary? At least, right now? I dunno. Maybe. I’m 50/50 whether this, or have him be double-crossy then get killed later. In any event, well-acted by DHJ. He's quite fantastic. He is wasted in all the Hallmark dreck he's been in, I really hope he gets some good work after this. That's that. Moving on. 

We're 1/4 in, and I'll give it this: we've gotten some action, some drama, but they've GOT to make up for the lack of plot progression in episode 2. Belphagor is shady as shit, which we knew, and this just got reinforced by that demon who has such a hard-on for Belphagor getting axed. 

I do not mind rando badass lady hunter having lines and playing a tangentially-important role in the ep, but this means if we ever see her again, she'll likely get killed, so I'm not getting attached. 

So hell is an angry vagina. SFX, are y'all okay? Is that prick whose tweets occasionally come across my feed still working there? Y'all need some hugs? I know y'all need some better budget, that all the DC shows got it, but oh well, that ship's sailed.  

Well done set dec, I dig the ghoulish statues in that hallway. And hey costume design, I like the ring that dude was wearing, I would wear that in real life. It would also look great as a wrist cuff. I digress. 

We know this demon is not going to succeed in killing Belphagor, so once more we have a pointless halftime cliffhanger. Also, have I mentioned I'm done with Cas being a weak puss? I'm telling you, if stuff got rewound, he should be incrementally getting his mojo back, that tracks logically. See Ep. 1 notes for what I thought should've happened for a legit "Whoa" moment. 

"Do you have any idea what he is?" --- he's a poop demon. Again, see the first episode of @youtotallymadethatup​    /shameless plug

[sighs]

Is this show gonna end with a Jack vs. Jack battle royale? Because fuck that noise. But! Writing-wise, it's okay that ol’ Belph may become the big bad. Nash, why would you say that, you ask. Easy.

IT WILL GET US THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LITTLE TOWN

A. Ny. Thing. to get us the fuck out of this little town. I am so goddamned bored.

Cas, this is a mistake. You should leave. What are you doing. Leave. Don't fall for that. Leave. Go now. Whoosh. Okay, or glow worm and barbeque the body. That was a nice little catch of emotion by Misha at the end. Except are the demons now gonna jump into his body? Better not, we've seen that season. 

Commercials! Cannot believe I've not been inundated with the adverts for the convention here in the spring, that's usually the jam. Imma go get some frozen yogurt. Highly rec strawberry with a little warmed-up Nutella. Try it, then tell me I'm crazy. I'm not. It's heavenly. 

Aaaaand, we're back!

Don't look so distressed Cas, y’all were gonna burn it anyway. But this takes Jack v. Jack off the table. Hopefully this means we'll be headed back to the Empty to get some progress on that hanging thread from last season sooner rather than later. Still, I'm glad we are down a character for awhile, this character in particular was starting to work my nerves and honestly, is just dead weight. I want it back to Sam and Dean for the most part this final season with sprinklings of Cas. Everyone else is secondary.

[claps] Very excellent Ruthie and Jared. One critique: Wish there could've been some sort of line from Rowena, re: "And perhaps I'll get to see my boy again", something of that ilk.

But I want to say this, and say it emphatically:

The nonsensical spells pulled from asses must stop

The soul-catcher thing is an example of a great move because it drew upon the past, then built upon for the present. This heart and angel blood and salt shit, and then this “Oh by the way it needs my dying breath” stuff is just obvious “um um um well how about bleh” writing stumbles, and it shows. The only reason that lameness worked? Ruthie and Jared’s performances. Period. Because y’all gave them absolute garbage to work with, and they made it shine.

Hey! There's the two convention promos with one short local ad in between, followed by the same local ad again! I was beginning to think they'd forgotten! 

WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN, I REPEAT, WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN 

DEAN IS IN A HENLEY, I REPEAT, DEAN IS IN A HENLEY 

Oof, Dean. I mean, I figured this convo would have to happen one day, it's been building, because even though his intentions are good, Cas has been involved in his fair share of shit taking left turns. Hopefully Cas is going to go seek out other angels. Also, re: Cas saying he's getting weaker - because, why? WHY. This has never been addressed in a definitive, satisfactory manner. 

Right, so, like we do each time, let's check in to see if we've had any character development and/or plot progression: 

Do Ketch and Rowena and Belphagor count, since they've progressed to being dead? Dunno, that's more of a finality to their overall arcs. Dean's being an asshole and Sam's being weepy and Cas is being an Eeyore, that's about par. Meh. Okay. So did the plot get advanced? 

YES THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER SWEET LORD YES. But, eh... a little weaksauce. Yes, that chapter of the initial onslaught is closed, yet we know it's not over. So I feel like the ep should've ended with, after the bunker door slams, a cut to a little scene that serves as a clue about what lies ahead. I mean, ahead-ahead, season-wise. Like, twenty second blip, not even, then hard cut to black screen, then on to promo which appears to be MotW. 

So that's it, really. More adept writers could've made the material of #1 and #2 into the premiere (minus several things, most specifically minus Kevin, should've saved Osric for something else down the line), then this should've been episode #2 instead of #3. Can't unring that bell, though. Let's hope we hit some speed before Buckleming comes along to run us into a ditch, then (fingers crossed) we have a few eps after that to rebound for the finale.

See you next week.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Past posts, from newest to oldest (and I sometimes do addendums if a response warrants)

Episode 2

Episode 1

[allwillbeone]

Me, a comic reader vs ABC’s “Marvel’s Inhumans” show ep 1 & 2, a live blogging at Discord(revised version)

Me, watching the cursed Inhumans show in few minutes and Triton got shot while Black Bolt and Medusa are having sexy time: I can't, I can't keep up with the show anymore

This is bad, I can tell the show is bad in these few minutes No I'll finish it in spite

[Under the cut because it’s a long post with a bunch of nonsense, tldr: The X-Men didn’t suffer for this]

And Medusa ignored the important call because they are having sex I can understand why the audience rooted for Maximus at first

Now for 4 minutes? The sexy time is ended but I got really cheap CGI cityscape The show is worse than I expected

The city of Attilan is uglier than any brutalist apartment And the lunascape scene looks like a Play Station 2 game, not even 3, PS2 Maximus' first appearance looks so... basic, if I didn't know he's Max I thought him one of the citizens

I really feel sorry for those actors, they are doing their job amazingly but the writing and costumes and setting and CGI and props are bad, so bad, stupidly bad

The X-Men and the Royal family didn't suffer for this

8 minutes and here we go, eugenics shit against one of their family members? And were you expecting I'm going to root for the royal family, writers?? It's really bad... I'm watching the show only 10 minutes and it already makes me hate the show

I mean, it was 2017? and this shit is worse than in 60s comics

Yeah they can't keep romani people and asian people's ethnicity but keep slavery and eugenics shits I even don't understand why MCU so much loves those facial hairs on non facial hair characters

Gorgon: let's destroy the moon rover Karnak: Wow, how mature Humans: Oh no it looks like a hoof that crushed our rover Medusa and Max: shit... BB: Okay do nothing

Umm... is this why Max thought he has to be in charge...?

Medusa, you ignored a really important call and stopped your husband to answer the call because you gave your priority to sexy time, and now you act like you are a dignified queen with authority This show makes my eyes roll hard

Suddenly Karnak starts bubbling on some nihilistic nonsense in the middle of the terrigenesis ceremony and Gorgon being a eugenicist shit against a family member again. And they'll wonder why one of them revolt against them? I also wonder why...

The scene of Lockjaw's first appearance is something off...  he moves like a bad animatronics Ummm, why Crystal has to cover her hand with a cloth if they just grab terrigen crystal with the bare hand from a box?

I'm not sure I can finish the show... this is worse than what I heard...

Well, no one sans Max willing to engage the boy that seems gets nothing from terrigenesis, even the boy suddenly collapsing and having a seizure on the floor... wow, so cold. While Crystal is fawning over that cheep CGI butterfly wing girl, you are so basic, Crys

They've lost my respect one by one Only Triton and Max keep me have some respect as characters but I'm sure the writing will also screw them Poor Triton

And Triton's makeup is also... bad

The actor of Maximus really had the charisma and the charm in his acting, alas the plot and the writing are so bad

Oh Max starts his "revolution" as a pep talk to lower caste people, and he's smol, smoler than the boy, so smol, they got  the actor that could represent him perfectly but Marvel was stupid so they gave him that boring superhero movie black leather and ugly facial hairs instead of iconic Jack Kirby armors or evil mad scientist lab coat

In dinner or lunch or idk, Karnak is being rude and gross out of nowhere to a female servant, and I can't understand what did the showrunner want to describe by the scene

He and Gorgon are dicks to people without any reason

Yeah, and only asian man being a dick to a white lady out of nowhere.... it seems really... a red flag And only black man being an extremely eugenics scum to his family member is... also... a big red flag

Now Max reveals Triton's death and apparently the mission was secret to even Karnak so BB is getting accused at the dinner table. And BB's excuse is "Oh no you never know he really dead" lmao And he thought it's good to invite nuhumans to the moon because "They are family" while treating your moon people with useless/no power as slaves because of the limitation of the resource? Oh yeah, you go Max, you notice the obvious problem

And BB's answer is "Not now, trust me" Oh yeah, maybe going to Earth is "not now", but "getting nuhumans from earth because they are our family uwu" is also not now imo

It's still over 20 minutes and I can't believe I can find those stupidness from the show easily

I need to eat mushrooms to survive this

Maximus: -Calling out his big bro's BS and storming out of the dining- Karnak: Maximus is dangerous, but I'm loyal to you, trust me

Karnak, it's not a good way to gain people's trust

BB takes a big gun out of Gorgon's hand. Gorgon... a gun... Crystal's dress looks like nipples are showing throw the fabric It's just a fold on the fabric apparently but uh...

Medusa: You can't trust Maximus, we can discuss that BB: -signing, apparently he doesn't want to discuss this-

Oh at least he loves his lil bro to some degree

Everything in the show looks fake af, but yes Medusa's hair is the worst

Oh no I didn't notice the scene is switching to the flashback scene because the switching sequence is bad, and it means oh no that scene

[Flashback scene: BB and Medusa first meeting] aaaaaaaaaa Um, not yet... just a short "first contact" scene...

I'm afraid Max starts wooing Medusa out of nowhere, um...

To be honest it doesn't make any sense in the narrative of the show so far but anything didn't make sense in the show so I can let it go

It's kinda ironic that Max was the one who got precognition power in comics, while he saw the chance in the boy with precog power in the show

Umm, this Iso look-like character is... Auran...?

And Auran got killed by Max(with BB's power) in comics, wow ironic

Attilan in comics: Sci-fi city with a bunch of weird spires and alien buildings Attilan in the show: Are these... maximum-security prisons???

The scene is supposed to be in the rooftop garden on the palace, but it looks like a patio in a prison.

An old guy from the genetic council: It's treason, Auran arrest him, I'm really sorry things become like this Auran: -beat the old man til death-

idk why but it feels kinda comedic...

Then the scene is Oahu island because maybe Triton is there? Wow, nice vacation Triton

While Karnak is playing with a moon rover and guarding people are like "Hey, king Maximus' order, bitch!" and Karnak is like "king Maximus? ... oh shit" lmao

Wow, Max, you are the one who made those humans shoot Triton? And now you are trying to kill Gorgon? ... well, this Gorgon has been an extremely eugenicist scum to you and never stop being a dick, I can't blame you about Gorgon in the narrative, go ahead

And those henchmen are really incompetent, where are the suspense and drama

Karnak: Maximus betrayed us and the royal guards with him Gorgon: wtf I'm the head of the royal guards Wow Gorgon, apparently you have no popularity with them...

Now the royal guards are trying to get Medusa and a fight scene begin... the CGI on her hair is soooo hideous, it's almost comedic And playing "Paint It Black"? Seriously???

Finally someone in the royal guard uses their power to take down the target instead of attacking people like humans that they are disregarding

Max, holding a hair clipper: I have no choice Medusa: If you do this I never forgive you Max: (Surprised Pikachu face meme)

TBH Medusa's line here sounds really... stupid... he's committing a coup against your husband, do you think he would mind of your feelings about your hair??? But apparently, he would mind because idk whatever reason And why they just leave her, at least confine her or do something, you are committing a coup!

Oh no THAT SCENE!!! [Flashback scene: BB killed their parents with "WHY"]

wait, is the man in the left is... younger Max? He looks like an adult man here and much older than younger BB

(No apparently it's the present BB watching his younger self, it's really confusing and I have mild prosopagnosia)

So now, royals get Hawaii vacation, congrats

And BB makes a scene in the middle of Honolulu, and Lockjaw just disappeared before things got into a big mess, bad dog

Medusa: I have to find Black Bolt -riding a bus with tourists- Karnak: I have to find my king -trying to go down a cliff and fall-

Wow, Max is talking Crys about her privilege and propagandas Crys: You make me sick, you are just a human Wow, this Crys is worse than comic Crys

not because of his personality or something, but because he has no power??? Oh yes, she needs a mediocre human's dick even she can be a eugenicist scum to her own family member The show is really bad

They only keep the bad parts of comic canon in the show

It's already over 50 minutes so far, and I can't find any good part in the show... other than those unfortunate actors' acting skills

Gorgon is walking into the sea and battling with crashing waves in vain because he feels emo for Triton

And nice surfers rescue him because... apparently... he can't swim...? And those surfers are too nice and chill, they knew Inhumans already because of plot or something like that and just listening Gorgon's story while sharing beers. They are too nice

Crys can contact Medusa because Auran just dropped her comlink and leave it? Those people are supposed to be elite guards but they are so incompetent, even can't hold their childish princess Oh apparently it was Auran's plot to catch Medusa, much better

Gorgon: You should leave Surfers: Why we have to leave our beach Gorgon: because I challenged my cousin and here will be the battleground

Umm... in that case who has to leave the beach is you, Gorgon...

Oh Eldrac was in the show, I wonder how's he now Max wants to kill BB and Gorgon especially, and not mention to Karnak, he's fine with Karnak being alive... while he's not with Gorgon, lol

[Eldrac, looks like Doh the boss character of a retro video game Arkanoid] ...is this... Eldrac...? What they have done to you, you are boring here

BB feels awkward with his outfit and tries to change to norm clothes is definitely funny, finally I can find a good intentional comedy in the show... And he steals those outfit and hurts security guy, wow

[BB is getting arrested by Honolulu cops] Definitely they should make the show as a superhuman sitcom Like make Max a fabulous mad scientist and let him commit a coup in every week, and BB and co overthrow him and take back the throne at the end of the show. In Every Week.

[BB is running away from the cops and police cruisers] This is definitely a comedy material Marvel, are you telling me this is not a comedy show?

Police officer: Taser! Taser! -shoot taser- BB: Oof -destroying a police car accident because he can't hold his voice-

This BB is a weakass, comic BB has endured far worse, how could you have sexy time with your wife if mere human taser let you lost your control!?

[Police officers are beating the shit out of BB] Wow, be nice to an alien robber, honolulu police officers

Max grabbing his hand makes the boy see those visions, but putting an assuring hand on the boy's shoulder causes nothing and they are just okay...? Hmmm...

[Auran snaps a bus driver's neck] Auran you shouldn't kill a human just because they are trying to stop you entering a bus, people will be suspicious

Auran: -finding Medusa's broken comlink in the empty bus- Me: Oh yeah, Medusa ditched the comlink to hide her whereabouts and went to search BB Medusa: -appears behind the bus and attacking Auran and starts catfighting- Me: wtf

Medusa stubbed Auran with a pocket knife... isn't she supposed to be an elite royal guard!? Why everyone is stupid and weakass Medusa takes a comlink from Auran and tells BB she'll find him and kill Max, with tearful eyes, but I even don't feel any sympathy toward those slave owners... especially to that king who tried to invite more people while many people under his rule are already suffering the overpopulation...

And the mine scene... they are supposed to be a civilization with highly advanced tech, but they have to use their own bare hands and simple tool for mining? What about letting them use more safe and effective machines? Is it too much to ask?

Oh yes, they have no tech guy other than Maximus, apparently. This was why they depend on his technology for their city defense even he'd use it for his future coup(and show!Max is not a tech guy here, so they don't have any tech guy apparently)

Okay, I can see what they wanted to do. Jenkins and Lee's Inhumans second series and Hines' Silent War. I can see many references from those comics. But they couldn't make any coherent plot and story from them.

The showrunner thought their version was "more complicated, more real, and more compelling version" than comic Max and miserably failed because they wanted to do Inhumans vol.2 and Silent War and the very core part of the story is "Max has a point but his twisted mind and impulsiveness made his execution totally bad" It's sad that Once and Future Kings haven't written before their production This is why you are the worst showrunner in the MCU, mister Buck

So... this Auran has healing factor... she doesn't have anything that makes her Auran but okay...

I finished Episode 1 & 2, it feels like eternity

[whimsicalethnographies]

My Thoughts on Endgame

Major spoilers and a TL;DR on how it all collapsed under its own wibbly wobbly timey wimey logic

So, to start, it was fine.  Like, it was just fine.  There were parts I liked, parts I hated, parts I refuse to except as canon (and may not have to), and parts that just didn’t make any damn sense.

And at the bottom of it all, is how the movie was “a gift to the fans” and, while unspoken, a swan song.  The fan service was TOO heavy, and it really felt as though they thought of their fanservice moments, and then built the story around those, rather than building a story and finding fanservice moments to sneak in.

Ok, things I liked:

There were genuinely funny moments, most of which didn’t feel smushed in.  Nobody likes the stairs Hulk, and I’m glad that Steve has accepted that sometimes his Cap lines are a little Too Much.

While I hated the death, I do like that Tony Stark is literally the messiah of the universe.  He didn’t owe anybody anything anymore, but he still took the step and made the sacrifice to protect his wife and his reality and his children.  Plural.

I did like Tony being done, wanting out, yelling at the group.  He was at his end and couldn’t do it anymore, and while there are legit discussions to have about CW--I think they were both wrong in a way--but the fact is he was right about the greater threat and nobody believed him.

I can’t believe a dorky photo of Peter Parker looking like a fish and messing up bunny ears and Tony Stark not smiling saved the universe.

Tom Holland is gonna win an Oscar some day.  I knew what happened going in--I HATE not knowing--so while I got teary during several points, I started blubbering when he said, “we won, Mr. Stark.  Mr. Stark, we won.  You did it, sir.”

RDJ should win an Oscar for this.  There were moments that were OOC but he still put everything into it.  Him, Nat, and Peter were really the only ones I *felt* in this movie.  

Their reunion hug--Peter coming back and being Purely Peter, and Tony looking at him, like oh my god, he’s exactly the same and I can’t believe he’s rambling like this I missed him so much.”

“Activate Instant Kill!”  Oh, my sweet baby boy Peter.  You kept the gauntlet safer than longer than anyone.

Tony Stark has been my Pretend Superhero Dad since I first saw Iron Man in 2008 in a dollar theater while munching on a sneaked-in Whopper.  He is Iron Dad, both to Morgan and his Spider-son and he took an extra step, one he didn’t have to do, to make sure they both made it ok.

Also, and I love Carol, but Thanos yeeted her the fuck off the field with the power stone.  Tony Stark withstood the power stone using his nanotech shield on Titan.  Most Powerful Avenger.

Scott is a joy.  

Cap and Mjolnir was an okay scene I enjoyed, but it was a prime example of writing the story around fanservice.  Yeah, it was fun, but it was better to imagine he couldn’t fully lift it in AoU because he knew about Bucky and the Starks, so he wasn’t fully worthy.

Now, the things I *didn’t* like:

How did Carol find the Benetar?  And how did she get it back?!  Like, I know because she’s the embodiment of the Space Stone she technically has omnipresence and/or is capable of light speed, but does that extend to other objects?  Wouldn’t it have torn the Benetar apart?  

The time jump was *off.*  And I have a hard time believing Tony would have just moved on like that.  I think he would have tried, but it was too easy, considering.

The strange mismatch between desolation--NYC, arguably the most important city in the world, is a ghost town, while other places are fine?  More on infrastructure problems later.

Hulk dabbing.  Come on.  Was that a joke on Bruce being old and out of touch, or are people still dabbing in 2023?

Thor.  Oh Thor.  His PTSD was treated as a joke--save his convo with Frigga--and it sucked, especially since they did so well with Tony’s PTSD.  That’s the writers, who we all know have had their noses up Cap’s butt since forever.

The fact that it’s implied Pepper knew Tony wasn’t really happy when he went to talk to her about solving time travel.  That he wasn’t settled, that this still weighed on him, even when it was hopeless.  Why’d she let him build that life then?  

“You can rest now.”  Yeah, ok.  Suffer so much, finally get what you want in your grasp, then your reward is death.  See above.  It cheapens his sacrifice because it’s implied he was never fully immersed and happy with his life.

Nat got done dirty.  I wasn’t ok with it.  I know it was supposed to be the final, “erase the red in her ledger” moment but why?  Like Tony, she already had. 

The infrastructure issues.  The universe was halfed, then doubled, five years apart.  Even if we accept that all of Peter’s friends and Flash were snapped, still doesn’t fly.  See below for a possible out.

Cap.  Oh Cap.  My guy is dead but at least he’s The Hero.  But they ruined Cap’s character.  I don’t for a second believe he’d just sit and hide with Peggy.  And they discussed heavily what happens when you subtract something from a timeline, and the splits, but what happens when you ADD something?  I know the implication is that he was always Peggy’s husband, but it still doesn’t work, for the timelines stuff AND his character.  And who’d he steal the shield from?  He took something!  And I don’t for a single second believe he went to Vormir.  Nope.   This was Steggy fanfic.  And I don’t honestly care, but the fact is that he’s been working on moving FORWARD.  A man out of his time trying to find himself.  He literally took a step backwards.

Ok, adding on to that, the timey wimey nonsense.  The movie spent SO MUCH TIME explaining the logic of their own rules and then don’t follow them.  Here are some diagrams from my childhood bestie who gets time shit more than I do.

Apparently here is what they were trying.

They seesaw back and forth, but in the end Timeline F is the same as Timeline A, or the one they started from.

BUT, here’s her diagram of what actually happened:

It’s a big fat mess, and if the End Timeline is F, then the timeline where Tony snaps is D, and it got very confusing very fast.  She’s going to type it up for me, but apparently the last third of the movie can’t exist per their own logic, least of all the end, especially because we don’t know exactly what Tony wished for.  Was it the destruction of Thanos?  What happens when you add a past to a future then delete that past?  Where’s that timeline?  What happened with Steve’s stuff?  LOKI? A1 never ended because they literally took it. It’s not there anymore.  Steve stealing the Pym Particles?!  He took something and didn’t put it back. Another branch off.  Did Tony wish, “give me what I need to fix this?”  IF he did that, she posits, he smushed the timelines together to make everything coherent, AND potentially fix the infrastructure issues, so while A Tony’s BODY may have died, which Tony was it?  Did he have a moment in the soul stone, like Thanos?  Is that a requirement?  What did he do/say there?  (Also, just pointing out, never trust a funeral without a body, and the power of the Soul Stone is literally that no death is permanent.  That’s its canonical power!!)

There’s so much mess and I’ll have more when my friend sends along her stuff.  But I have NO problem deleting most of this from my mind, and I already have ideas to fix it, but I’ll leave those stories in the hands of people better able to tell them (I’m looking at you, @iron--spider) because I’m a dialogue bitch myself. 

I told @iron--spider last night I felt adrift, and typing this out I know why.  I’m not mourning, I’m not excited.  I’m devastated by Tony’s death but there’s so many logic holes my brain isn’t even struggling to see a way around it.  I’m livid about Steve, because he went backwards.  Thor’s trauma was played for laughs.  I have no satisfaction because of ALL THE HOLES, and because they literally wrote a story around fanservice--a huge amount of it their own--instead of writing the story and then adding fanservice to it.  

It was fine.  I’ll probably buy it when it’s released, but I don’t need to see it again.  And I’m curious about Far From Home because of the infrastructure but I don’t know if I’ll wait until it’s out on video just because I don’t have any urge to watch Peter Parker mourn another parent.

In the meantime, until the fix-its start rolling in, here’s a ready-made fix-it that Iron--spider wrote last year, to hold us through:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183011/chapters/35211239

It was fine.  And so full of holes it doesn’t even cement its own canon, despite what Disney officially decided to put on the big screen.  

“I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”

[mst3kproject]

Night of the Bloody Apes

I finally got back to this one after being distracted by Night Fright – and Night of the Bloody Apes is an excellent potential MST3K subject.  It’s got Mexican wrestlers, bloodthirsty ape-men, and Rene Cardona, the director of Santa Claus.  There’s a perfect stinger moment, too, when some old abuela comes across a corpse in the street and runs off screaming, oh!  A dead man! A dead man!  A dead man!

A wrestling match goes wrong and one of the contestants, Elena Gomez, hits her head on the concrete floor, leaving her in a long-term coma.  Her opponent, Lucy Osorio, is distraught, blaming herself, and vows to retire from wrestling as soon as her contract is up.  I bet you think that’s gonna be important, don’t you?

The actual plot involves Dr. Krallman and his assistant Goyo kidnapping a gorilla from a zoo so that he can transplant its heart into his dying son Julio (there is an explanation offered for how this will cure his leukemia, but trust me, it’s not worth repeating).  In real life, if a mad scientist gave you a gorilla’s heart your body would reject the organ and you would die – but this is a stupid Luchador movie, so Julio turns into an ape-man and goes on a murderous rampage instead, all in his pajamas and bare feet!  Even having read what I said above, I’m sure you still think Lucy’s gonna have to wrestle him, because where else could her plot possibly be going?  Joke’s on the audience, it’s going fucking nowhere.

In the opening scene, we meet Lucy and her boyfriend Arturo Martinez, see her put on her devil-themed mask, and watch the match in which her opponent is injured.  This still goes on a little longer than it should, but I cannot even express how much more interesting it is than the opening of Racket Girls.  The simple reason why is that we’ve met Lucy.  We know next to nothing about her, but we’ve at least heard her voice, and so we automatically go into the match rooting for her.  Then there’s the unexpected turn when what we anticipated as a moment of victory becomes a tragedy instead.  The music is absurdly overblown but other than that, this sequence is well-written and well-executed.

The rest of the movie is crap.

I’m sure you’re wondering what the subplot about Lucy and her injured friend has to do with the gorilla-man plot.  There are a couple of very thin threads between them.  Dr. Krallman is also treating Elena and eventually decides that he can declare her brain-dead and use her heart to replace the gorilla’s and cure Julio’s pithecanthropy (all the Greek I took in college was totally worth it to be able to coin that word). Arturo is a detective, investigating the murders the gorilla-man commits.  Lucy, however, is irrelevant – she’s just the place where Arturo’s story and Krallman’s happen to meet.  At the end her only role is to declare how sad the whole thing is.

The sound in this film is bizarre.  The voice acting is bland but not awful – the writing is awkward as hell.  When Arturo suggests that the murders are being committed by a beast-man, one of his colleagues declares (and this is word-for-word), “it’s more probable that of late, more and more you’re watching on your television many of those pictures of terror.”  That’s a line the writers of Gamera vs Guiron would have thrown out!  Meanwhile the music, as I already mentioned, is loud and bombastic, with screeching brass and ominous bassoon that sound like something from a melodramatic silent film.

The visuals are not for the weak of stomach. Julio’s heart transplant is represented by stock footage of actual heart surgery, with plenty of blood and bone and an actual human heart still twitching in the doctor’s fingers.  On the one hand, it probably looks way better than anything the film-makers could have managed on their effects budget and is definitely preferable to the Ed Wood Jail Bait approach.  On the other… I wonder who that patient was, and what he would think if he knew his heart operation ended up in Night of the Bloody Apes.  The murder scenes also tend to be gruesome, with lots of blood and some surprisingly graphic effects moments, like an eyeball popping out.  Despite being filmed in loving close-up, shots like the eyeball and a later scalping are stunningly unconvincing, especially with the actual surgery footage there to compare them to.

I’m not sure what this movie thinks about women. Lucy is a character who has goals and conflicts outside of men – Arturo does want her to retire from wrestling and marry him, but her reasons for actually doing so have more to do with Elena’s accident than with him.  Her trauma, the way the people around her dismiss it, and how she attempts to deal with it could have been the core of the movie if anyone had cared.  We don’t meet any of Elena’s other friends and are told that she has no family, so her death is a tragedy in its own right, rather than because of its effect on anybody else.

At the same time, women are something this film very much exploits.  We get a nice look at Lucy’s ass as she gets out of the shower, and Julio spends his gorilla-man rampages murdering and raping random women in long, leering, extremely distasteful shots.  None of these victims have names or backstories.  If we knew them at all, it might be hard to enjoy watching them killed.  I will say that at least they put up good fights – Victim One smashes a lamp over Julio’s head, and Victim Two kicks and thrashes so hard that the stunt guy in the gorilla-man makeup is having a hard time holding her down.  She also has the presence of mind to go seek help not just for herself but for her boyfriend, who she has no idea is already dead.  The grossest moment is when Krallman and Goyo prepare to remove Elena’s heart to transplant into Julio.  This woman is in a coma, and yet the camera lingers on her bare tits rising and falling as she breathes.

Between this stuff and the surgery footage, MST3K would have had no trouble making room for host sketches.  Hopefully one of them would have featured Crow and Servo in luchador masks.

There are several places where Night of the Bloody Apes comes perilously close to meaning something, but it always manages to swerve back into nonsense at the last minute.  For starters, the gorilla-man is supposed to represent Julio devolving into an animal, but like Bela Lugosi’s character in The Ape-Man, his actions are often all too human.  It is human women he seeks out to rape, after all, and killing them afterwards so they can’t tell who did it is a thing only a human being could do.  Too, with some of his later victims gorilla-Julio begins using tools, like knives, in a very human way, and the coroner states that the damage to the victims’ bodies is more characteristic of a human attack than an animal.  As in The Ape-Man, humans are always the most dangerous beast in the jungle.

There’s actually a fairly strong parallel drawn between Elena and Julio.  For the most part we see both of them lying quietly in hospital beds (at least before Julio’s transformation), helpless to do anything about their own situation. Both have a loved one who doesn’t want to give up on them, and both have suffered an injury that leads others to regard them as less than human.  The people the gorilla-man meets on the street see him as nothing but a monster, and Krallman fears he may be shot and killed before he can be cured.  Elena, meanwhile, is unlikely to come out of her coma, and so Krallman sees her as nothing but a potential source of spare parts. When she vanishes, the hospital staff are more worried about their reputation than they are her welfare.

Night of the Bloody Apes may be thought of as a movie about, of all things, informed consent.  We’re not told whether Elena consented to being an organ donor.  Since Goyo says that using her heart would be a crime, I will assume not, and she doesn’t have any family to consent for her.  Julio has no idea what his father plans to do to him to effect a cure and no idea of the possible consequences.  Is it right to take Elena’s heart without her permission if it’ll save Julio?  Is it right to perform an experimental surgery Julio doesn’t even know he needs if it’ll save his life?

The problem with all three of these themes is that the writers never seem to notice any of them!  They’re not interested in examining the line between human and animal violence, it’s just there to lead the police on the right trail.  They don’t see Elena and Julio as alike, nor do they try to confront the problem of medical ethics.  Or even if they did do these things intentionally, they don’t take them anywhere.

Night of the Bloody Apes is another one that would be fairly easy to re-write into a better movie.  For starters, the thing to do would be to set up Lucy and gorilla-Julio as opponents for each other – maybe she sees him attack somebody and tries to intervene, only to have the victim die in a way too close to what happened to Elena, leading her to decide she’s gonna track him down.  Her wrestling skills allow her to beat him, but Krallman begs her not to kill Julio and explains the situation, leading her to suggest using Elena’s heart.  This would allow her a way to come to terms with her friend’s death by knowing some good came out of it, and could get further into the idea of medical consent.  Julio’s final transformation could have come out of ‘how could you do this to me?’ anger at his father.

I wonder if there weren’t some earlier draft of Night of the Bloody Apes that was more like that, because with the movie as it stands I can’t understand why Lucy is the first character we meet when she ultimately does very little.  If I’m right, I guess they changed it because they thought nobody would watch a movie in which a woman does both physically and emotionally heroic things, but in the process they reduced their movie to scraps of what it could be.  In Lucy’s own closing words, it’s unfortunate.  Really sad.

[tintinwrites]

You’re my fav SW/Poe Writer and I’ve only written and posted one poe fic on AO3 and I need the courage to post more, idk I have so many AU and regular prompts in my head and how do you write so well and how to do you not be terrified to put it out in the world? 😩

I was going to start this off by being “humble” and saying I’m not that good, but I’m going to be honest. We live in a world where people aren’t allowed to be proud of themselves even when they’ve done well, and that’s pretty stupid.

I do consider myself to be a decent writer. I have many fics, though, sitting in my documents halfway written because I absolutely hated them. My writing was stiff or unrealistic, and the plot came out ridiculous.

I attribute my ability to write with a few things:

I read so much as a child it was ridiculous. I was part of summer book reading contests at my library, and outside of that I would read everything. I loved Animal Ark books and American Girl (specifically Kaya, Josefina, Addy, and Samantha) books most of all. Reading taught me impressive words, proper punctuation, that a new person’s dialogue should always be in another paragraph, and the lives of people I would never be.

I love character analyzing. I sit here and I pick apart characters to see what makes them this way, what makes them that way, what really creates their personality, how they really are beneath what they put out.

I try to imagine things in a character’s voice. If I can’t imagine it, they wouldn’t say it!

I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’m 22 and I’ve been writing since I was 12 or 13. I used to be a really bad writer. My first fanfictions were self-insert Buffy the Vampire Slayer ones on Quizilla. Paragraphs were not a thing to me. Each chapter was literally a long block of text that involved every hot guy from Buffy being into me. I wrote sex scenes with descriptions such as, “he touched me down there” and “he was thrusting back and forth on top of me” because I literally did not know how sex worked. I had no idea the p even went in the v. My next venture was Glee fanfiction, where I figured out paragraphs, but had multiple characters speaking dialogue in one. I added curse words, but put asterisks because they were just too naughty for me to write. I didn’t get a hang of proper writing until I was 16 and started writing Doctor Who fics, and looking back on those, they were pretty mediocre. It took a lot of practice for me to get to a point where I’m doing pretty good, and even so, I have a lot of times where I hate my own writing.

As for having the courage to put out your writing...I post things because having them in a document doesn’t satisfy me. There are things that I want written and nobody else is writing them, so I do it myself.

There are so many times when I post something and assume no one will like it, and sometimes I’m right. But that’s okay because if I’m into it, it’s nice to have it posted somewhere instead of being hidden away on my computer.

It took me a while before I started posting Poe fanfiction. I was nervous because, while I grew up sort of watching Star Wars because my brother loved it, I was never that into it until the new ones started coming out. I didn’t think I knew enough and I didn’t think I could do it justice. So while there were so many things I wanted to write for Poe, I didn’t think I could.

The first fanfiction I attempted to write was him and an OC named Shideh, but I thought it was silly. I believe the first chapter is still in my computer, collecting dust.

But the thought of writing for him wouldn’t leave me alone and as I said, leaving it to sit there doesn’t satisfy me. So I did as much research on Star Wars as I could (and I still do research! It is such a big universe with so much media that it’s incredibly difficult to learn everything) and I ventured into reader-insert fanfiction.

I started with a ‘what if’ of Poe going dark side, which wasn’t that good. But it was something that I wanted to put out there because no one was doing it, so I put it out there.

What really got me started was ‘fifty ways to kiss someone’ after I saw a post of kissing prompts and it begged me to write it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I write and post things for myself. If people like it, it brings me a lot of joy, but I do it for myself. Do it for yourself. The best way to find bravery is to trick yourself into thinking you don’t care what anyone else thinks of you, then using that moment of energy to post it before you can decide not to.

I’m also always amazed at the comments I get from people, especially when something I’ve written moves them in some way or makes them feel understood because something in the story is so similar to them. If I don’t put my stories out, I am definitely shielding myself from negative responses...but I’m also shielding myself from possibly making people happy and even from making myself happy.

Sometimes when you put something out in the world, you have to be terrified and do it anyway. Courage literally could not exist if we weren’t terrified. Is someone who loves dogs courageous for petting one? To be courageous is to literally do something even though it scares you.

To paraphrase a quote that can be used with writing, singing, speaking, or whatever your passion may be: “You have nothing to prove, only to share.”

I hope this helped, but it might have just been me rambling about nonsense! I tend to do that, so let this GIF make up for it.

[jbuffyangel]

Bored Now: Arrow 6x19 Review (The Dragon)

What in the ever-loving hill tops of Olympus was THAT?

I was exhausted Thursday, so I missed the episode. However, I waited until Sunday because I wasn’t motivated to watch given the fan reaction. But I figured it couldn’t be that bad right?

Yes. Yes it can.

I would rather watch Oliver pontificate about his super-secret plan to stop gun violence (without revealing his super-secret plan to stop gun violence) than “The Dr*gon.” I would rather watch L*urel earn her BC suit (without really earning it) by hallucinating her dead sister. I could watch Oliver and Sara bang fifty times over. Yes, I know what I am saying. 6x19 is worse than all the terrible 13th episodes combined! After six years and 134 episodes I am bestowing “The Dr*gon” with the title of WORST EPISODE EVER.  Congratulations. We have a new low.

I flitted between enraged and bored watching “The Dr*gon”, so I feel Evil Willow’s iconic expression conveys my emotions nicely.

Let’s dig in… it won’t take long. I promise an excess of snarky gifs.

Felicity Smoak and Curtis Holt

This is the first week post Oliver firing Felicity. Yes, he can dress it up any way he likes, but that’s exactly what he did. Felicity chooses to devote her extra free time to her company and reaches out to Curtis for a truce. A truce in these writers’ minds means FELICITY APOLOGIZES TO CURTIS. 

Liz Kim, who co wrote the episode, explained:

Let’s pretend we live in a world of rainbows and unicorns where the main governing body is the Girl Scouts and instead of paying taxes we get free cookies. 

We must live in this kind of world to understand what Liz Kim is pushing. Fine. Felicity isn’t holding a grudge. She’s being the bigger person and is sorry for her role in the fight. If we look objectively at all six characters Felicity has the least to apologize for, but that’s just details. 

What infuriates me is Curtis just stands there and glowers at her. He oozes moral superiority, contempt and arrogance. 

Why, dear writer, didn’t Curtis then apologize to Felicity? If this is all about being the bigger person and not holding a grudge, why didn’t Curtis step up to the plate next? Last time I checked, Curtis has as much to apologize for if not more than Felicity. Instead, we get Felicity apologizing to yet another man on this show and Curtis just stands there like a condescending lump. 

UNACCEPTABLE.

Then Curtis cannot hide his glee over Diggle quitting the team. He wants to skip around the room and sing, “Nananana boo boo” while Felicity is distraught about her husband being alone in the field. CURTIS HAS THE NERVE TO TELL FELICITY HE MUST FIGHT THE DESIRE TO GLOAT. But sure, what an amazing friend. 

Listen asshat, if you tell someone you are trying not to gloat that’s the same as gloating.

Why is Curtis the only “friend” Felicity is ever allowed to speak to? Why couldn’t she have gone to Lance or even Diggle. Diggle has a beef with Oliver, not Felicity. I don’t see how going to Curtis is any better than going to John in Oliver’s eyes. Hell, I’d take a phone call Thea over this. I don’t need to hear her side of the conversation.

How does anything Curtis says correlate to real friendship? He states the obvious – Felicity is using work to distract her from worrying about Oliver. OH MY GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH CURTIS. WHAT WOULD WE HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU HERE TO EXPLAIN THAT COMPLETELY OBVIOUS PLOT POINT TO US ALL?

Then, he almost laughs in her face about it, but can control himself enough to only gloat. Wow. Felicity’s friendship cup runneth over. And last, but not least, he refuses to take any responsibility for his role in the team breakdown. How magnanimous of him. What a petty little prick.

Also, why is Curtis always the one to fix a problem with the Helix tech? JUST ONCE I would like to see Felicity solve something tech related to this company without Curtis’ help. Felicity Smoak can program and hack anything. SHE INVENTED THE KEY PIECE OF RAY’S ATOM SUIT. But whenever Curtis is around she is forced to be clueless and rely on Curtis’ brilliance to save the day because LOOK AT WHAT A GOOD TEAM THEY ARE. She is a shining example of a genius female character and now she’s being used to prop Curtis’ man baby brain. It’s nauseating and unbelievably insulting to my gender.

If this is the route Arrow chooses to fix the breach between the two teams (OTA members apologizing while Newbies gloat) then I can safely say I will not forgive the newbies for anything they’ve done. They will be on my list of “Characters Who Need to Die” for the remainder of the show. Starting with my number one spot – Curtis Holt.

Olicity

At least the writers knew the only way to get Olicity fans to watch this garbage pile of nonsense was to stick a 3 minutes Olicity scene at the end and promo the crap out of it.  Unfortunately, the scene didn’t give me “all the feels” the writers intended. 

Felicity comes home in a panic after watching a news report stating the Green Arrow is probably dead. 

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

Oliver pops up behind her and a very relieved Felicity throws herself into his arms. Any gooey feels I have over Felicity’s concern and emotional hug are about to be obliterated. Felicity informs Oliver this set up doesn’t work for her. When she’s in the bunker, and knows where he is or can see what is happening, it’s easier to cope with her worry. Oliver condescendingly implies there’s very little Felicity can do to help him while she’s in the bunker.

Excuse me, but is Oliver a pod person now? How do we get from THIS

to THIS 

to THIS. 

Do the Arrow writers watch Arrow? This is why people get so fed up. We can go from one episode to the next and characters act completely OOC to push a storyline along. Oliver “You’re My Partner” Queen is now saying Felicity can do very little to help? 

Let’s just unravel the entire basis of the show and the reason the character exists in the first place 

for another bullshit Oliver Queen regression that makes no sense. 

All I am asking for is a modicum of character cohesion and storyline consistency. Is it so much to ask that the Arrow writers know the show and characters they are writing for? I think not.

After Felicity correctly argues she can and HAS helped Oliver many times, he does another 180 and tells Felicity she can never be helpless. Cool bro, but you stated the exact opposite 15 seconds ago. 

Oliver decides it’s time to placate his wife’s legitimate fears by telling her he will always come home.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs​

Sure, it’s a nice foreshadow for the future since Oliver is probably going to land himself in jail. This scene can serve as reassurance for all those terrified Oliver is going to do 25 to life. I take issue with the promise, however. Do you know why Oliver didn’t make that promise to Felicity in 2x09? 

Because he respected her too much to lie to her. Oliver knew then he doesn’t always have control over what happens to him in this line of work. Accepting death and not being afraid of it is part of the job description. Oliver knows this is a promise he can’t keep because NOBODY CAN. The tiny look of hesitation and resignation his face after hugging Felicity proves it.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs​

We tell our children little white lies to ease their fears because sometimes they aren’t old enough to understand the truth. Was the promise Oliver made to William completely true? No. Should he have made the promise? Probably not, but I understood why he did. Oliver was trying to ease his son’s fears because William is a child.

But Felicity is a grown woman. Oliver doesn’t need to tell little white lies to his wife so he can continue his deeply stupid need to regress. The only reason Felicity needs to buy into this obvious lie is so she can function while Oliver is out in the field by himself.  How about Oliver LISTENS to his wife and acknowledges the truth – he can’t do this without her. Even emotionally stunted Oliver Queen understood THAT. 

We’re really supposed to believe emotionally evolved Oliver doesn’t? 

I MEAN GIVE ME A FRIGGIN BREAK.

This is why viewers get so frustrated with Arrow. The characters can change personalities like the show changes writers. 

Things we know to be true, and are the backbone of the series, are tossed aside to make an illogical plotlines work. It does nothing to service the characters, show or viewers. All that’s left is a terrible hour of television.

The Dr*gon and Bl*ck S*ren

The function of this episode is to make us give a flying flip about the Dr*gon. However, we are given a sloppily slapped together back story that doesn’t connect to any of the main characters whatsoever – particularly Oliver.  

Di*z grew up in an orphanage and was bullied by an older boy. This is the reason he’s become a menace to society. 

He named his fear “The Dr*gon” and tattooed it everywhere because he’s so tortured and intense.

He’s been trying to move up the criminal ladder to conquer his fear and be respected as a legitimate crime lord. Ummm… okay? Good luck with that. WHY DO I CARE? Oh, that’s right. I don’t. 

Ultimately, Di*z gets a seat on the Quadrant (Season 7 villain set up for sure) and revenge on the kid who bullied him as a child. The moral of the story is don’t be a bully because someday the kid you tortured might show up on your door step and light you on fire.

I thought this was supposed to be the season of many villains. Weren’t we doing away with the singular Big Bad? Why are we suddenly zeroing in on the lamest villain in the group? He’s so lame the writers had to come up with an entire episode to mitigate the lameness.

Di*z and Sir*n spend 85% of the episode sitting in a car trading fortune cookie sayings with one another. They go on and on and on about power, control and not being a dog. It’s a lot about not rolling over, bellies, tails... maybe an ear. Think of every single villain cliché you’ve ever seen and that sums up “The Dr*gon.” 

Di*z’s moves are utterly predicable and I’ve heard the dialogue in about fifty other shows/movies. I wish they had just gone full throttle with plagiarism and stuck, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse” in there. It’d feel more honest.

BS spends the entire episode asking the big strong man how to be a big strong villain. So, a win for feminism all around. 

BS is so busy telling Di*z not to “roll over” she fails to see she’s following him around like a lost puppy.  

Di*z is the lamest Arrow villain in history (Yes, even worse than Sebastian Blood), but BS is his henchman. So, what does that make her? Nothing good! I’ll tell ya that much. 

In C*ssidy’s defense the dialogue is cringe worthy, but she didn’t make it any better with the over the top acting.

BS tells Di*z not to be a wuss, but when he listens she acts like she has a problem with violence. YOU JUST TOLD HIM NOT TO ROLL OVER. HE’S DOING WHAT YOU ASKED, KEVIN. 

Yet, her eyes cannot behold the horror of Di*z beating a man. Her soul withers at the sight of Di*z killing. She blinks, sighs and turns away in disgust. SHE IS SO CONFLICTED.

Oh, holy hell. Are you kidding me with this crap? This is the same character who killed a security guard begging for his life. This is the same character who screamed in another man’s ear until his veins popped. She’s tried to kill the team multiple times. It’s a little difficult to believe BS has a hard time watching someone get punched. But we’re supposed to believe it because REDEMPTION. Sorry, Imma gonna need a little more than excessive blinking from C*ssidy to sell me on that one.

Di*z’s need to be a legitimate crime boss doesn’t mean the character translates as any more than the common street thug he is. His backstory is intended to make him look complex, but it does the direct opposite. We’ve seen “a villain is made not born” trope a thousand times, including on Arrow. Unfortunately, “bullied in an orphanage” doesn’t hold up against the backstories of Slade, Merlyn, Ra’s Ahl Ghul or Prometheus. 

BS has the nerve to compare Di*z to Adrian Chase and I laughed out loud. 

BS spent all of 15 seconds with Chase, but she knows his anger consumed him? Okay, cupcake. Whatever you say. Comparing the genius ways Chase inflicted pain and revenge on Oliver to the Dr*gon’s hum drum plan of vertigo and the Quadrant is just wrong. Why didn’t they do this villain focused episode with PROMETHEUS? That would have been a good time.

“But Jen, you didn’t like Prometheus at first. You thought he was boring and then you loved him.” Sure, that’s true, but by episode 19 we were full throttle on Adrian’s crazy.

There’s nothing to unmask with Di*z. This isn’t Josh Segarra going to another level. If it was those things then 6x19 was the episode to do it. All that’s revealed is more boring on top of boring.  I can tolerate a misfire in the 10-15-episode range, but we’re rapidly approaching the end. It is incredibly late in the season to be telling us why we should give a flying fig newtin about Di*z. The writers need to come armed with a hell of a lot more than bullied and power hungry for a chair.

Stray Thoughts

It’s safe to say it’s going to be a terrible episode if the writer is tweeting as a PR defense strategy. We shouldn’t need episodes explained to us, but if we do then the answers should make a modicum of sense.

Oliver was in episode 3x10 more AND HE WAS “DEAD.” There’s a reason why Stephen Amell is the star. He carries the show. Don’t ever bench him, writers.

This wins Twitter:

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 6x19 gifs credited.

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x21 watching notes

Not. Enough. Hugs.

Expectations: Bobo is gonna write his last episode which will make every other writer heading to the door trying to churn out some swan song fare thee well nonsense taste like ash.

I will probably cry because this mofo makes me cry all the time and I hate it because I never cry at Supernatural and the last couple of years Bobo has me leaking everywhere

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Recap!

Lucifer saying they'll find Jack and remake the world in his image. Gross. No thanks.

Sam and Rowena bonding over seeing Lucifer's true face and it being awful

Gabriel complaining they took all his grace

Michael, Mary and Jack's adventures

Gabriel and Rowena being the most powerful allies. What a world. Like 10 episodes ago it wasn't even like this at all :P

A last glimpse of Sam's stupid parting shot about them dying together. Whee. Sarcasm font.

-

Um.

Okay so this is either a dream or the future (yes.) or my next fic, and I'm only 1 second in, but all I know is that Jack, dressed all in white because he's Jesus, is watching Dean eat his 7th bit of pizza with pure horror, while Cas lovingly, smilingly, chides him for it.

Oh yeah there's Mary, laughing in the background. And she's wearing a different but still white and blue (Mother Mary) plaid.

This dialogue is literally bunker fluff banter about Jack counting Dean eating his pizza slices and Dean calling him a narc for saying so.

"John and me, we used to call him our little piglet" I am so happy. Pre-tragedy Winchester family fluff. My heart.

Sam offering to help Mary do the dishes

Dean getting Cas to punt him another pizza once Mom is no longer watching. Dear lord. The silent "gimme pizza" moment of our dreams.

Sam checking in on Mary!! How are you since... Being over there

Sam's wearing the same shirt from the end of 12x22

"I always knew you and Dean would come and save us. And you did."

-

Yep that was Sam's dream, which of all the available options was the absolute worst because he's the one who wasn't talking at the table, but has been missing a family the most, missing out on Mary, missing out on having Cas and Jack around, having Dean being normal. Wanting the relationship with Mary, and all the fun nuggets like "my little piglet" which makes her tease Dean and make Sam laugh... Oh god my heart. I'm a minute in and I can't take it.

-

And Mary starting to act like an alarm clock, Sam Sam Sam Sam, to wake him up. Oh no. Oh noooo it's awful. The alarm clock corrupted her in the dream: his image of her is so dependant on what's around him, so easy for her to be snatched away, when he thinks he's having a good moment with her at long freaking last

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Last season I staked my entire house on the Sam and Mary dynamic being key and it felt like very few others cared, certainly not in the wider fandom, and along with that there was a whole lot of not understanding either of them. I'm so glad that Sam and Mary's dynamic has been more centrally placed this season and signposted because I'm so fed up that I spent all that energy on it last season and ended up feeling like I was shouting into a void :P

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"He needed to extract his grace *finger quotes* in private" *Sam looks up like uuuuuh* "So I left him alone in Dean's room" *Dean looks up like EXCUSE ME DEAR DID YOU JUST SAY -

"What? No!"

Sam smirks, Dean looks pleadingly at Cas.

I was just joking in 13x20 about how Dean n Gabriel have a weird vibe about them, but I think at this point Dean is just thinking you left the skankiest archangel alone in my room???

I don't think there's a subtextual whatnow between them about this, he just doesn't want to know what angel grace looks like under a blacklight

-

Awww Rowena is wearing orange... With a turtleneck.....

#Samwitch forever #Jinkies!

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making jokes about Gabriel's essence last episode and now the left him alone in the room to do it, and showing off Zerbe's merch and they're all just peering at that lil dot of glowiness... Gabriel is getting a lot of impotency jokes here.

-

"That is the jet fuel of divine emissions!"

*Dean pulls another face re: emissions*

-

Jesus CHRIST the rift is literally SAGGING FLACCIDLY

Bobo I hate you

-

of the 5 of them, Rowena's face remains, as ever, a total gem.

-

holy shit and then Gabriel lowers his blade as well

who DIRECTED THIS SHIT?

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They all sigh and Gabriel lets his blade flop entirely to his side

-

Rowena looks completely unimpressed.

-

"Well that was fast" "One could say premature." "I thought it would be enough!"

Jesus christ what is happening in the latter part of the episode that we're getting this scene now?

-

Oh my god that was just the COLD OPEN

-

As always though, Cas being the one who has to say the really horrible thing, like, they will all just wait for him to proclaim the bad news. Maybe he just likes people to say things out loud even when they're obvious *clears throat* but also he always has that streak where he will suggest the awful plan and be first to realise some horrible path that they must take.

-

TFW retires to the kitchen to talk. Sam sits on the steps, now the exile, while Cas leans on the family dinner table. It's the place he goes in his head which has the best service. The connection to his family. Dean leans as well, Cas and Dean mirroring each other, providing more of a united front, as the two of them have the emotional headspace to root for this plan, however Sam feels, while Sam is caught by his trauma, isolated, hunched up and small on the floor, less of their party.

-

Every time it ends the same way - with the Devil on the loose again.

Hey at least this time he's already on the loose so even the worst case is that nothing changes :P

-

Well no the worst case is that he somehow possesses Rowena and takes the most powerful witch ever for a joyride.

Actually no he's locked in his vessel

-

the worst case scenario is they kill him before they get the grace, so they have to wait for Gabriel to charge up and *oh no* Lucifer is dead

-

God, Cas saying "the worst possible violation" re: being possessed by Lucifer is so ridiculously validating. He understands what Sam went through and he's showing he understands, feels the same way. The two of them have this connection of knowing what it's like, and Sam hears from Rowena that she knows what it's like to be tortured by him, hears from Cas what it's like to be possessed by him... His support group is here

-

I still love the camera angle of Cas standing in front of Dean and Dean behind him and the camera is flattening them together.

After the directing on the soggy rift, and Mittens telling me Phil is responsible I'm just like... no surprises here mate.

-

Plus. Cas had a shoulder!Dean there

-

Gabriel yoinks a book out of the shelf. It's Laying Pipe. A beginner's guide to plumbing and pipe fitting.

The cover is suitably phallic.

Gabriel is standing by the katana - the pointy one that the BMoL kept sharp. Ya know, sword sharpening.

Something he was having issues with just now despite all his sharp wooden swords last week.

-

Penis.

-

"It's not always like that!!""Gabriel, please."

She was waiting for him to break that tension.

*manly virile page turning*

*more angry defences*/"I don't need to hear excuses!"

... Rowena being left alone in the library to tease their other guests is the best part of the show and they should start a regular segment which is talkshow style of Rowena plus whatever poor sucker of the week is hanging out in the bunker

"It doesn't make me any less of an archangel!" "mright."

-

Oh now you're blaming Rowena for your perfomance, huh, buddy?

-

Rowena saying a drunk six year old could operate the spell is probably not commentary on the fact that Dean is the last person to do it, huh?

-

Rowena saying "the three amigos with their bro hugs, pep talks and melodrama" changes the fundamental dynamic - the stereotype of their nonsense is the three of them hugging it out, instead of in 10x05, the last time they were meta textually mocked for it, Sam n Dean getting the BM scenes, and Cas and Dean's in-show dynamic not being explictly referenced except for the fact that Dean clearly thought the personal space jokes were being taken too far before he had the explanation. This makes it clear the BM moments are about TFW, uses the fact that the 3 of them are all together right now to put them all in one room and have them talking out the latest issue together away from the others, in order to establish that Cas is firmly a part of what was once the bro dynamic.

Of course he's had moments where he hangs with them in what otherwise would be the BM scene of the episode right the way through, but THIS is a metatextual statement about the dynamic, one that is more than just Rowena's snark, but writer commentary on another level, pulling on our pre-existing understanding of the show mocking the BM moments to make it expressly clear that Cas is involved too.

If Bobo is on the way out to nurture the Wayward Sisters, then this is one of those closing statements on his way. That he wants us to understad that Cas is intrinsically a part of this dynamic, and that the FUNDAMENTAL CORE of the show, the BM Scene, is a TFW inclusive incident no matter whether all 3 of them are involved in it or not, it is a thing they do TOGETHER and is NOT a justthebros meta joke. The BM thing is not just the concept of Sam and Dean looking weepy at each other over the car. It's their FAMILY, together, just as Bobo shows Sam dreaming of their FAMILY being TFW, mom and Cas's weird son who counts how much pizza you eat.

-

Jesus christ I was going to make a joke that Rowena and Gabriel would probably bang as my next point to break the mood of that rant but I hit play and she's checking out his tush and inner monologuing it.

Never mind.

they gonna bang

-

"She's so tiny. and angry."

I stan 1 heterosexual couple.

-

Ahahahaha he noticed her dancer's body and wondered how flexible she is. Oh dear. I'm gonna back off because I may or may not have written this exact thing in my notes in her last episode

-

They're adorable.

-

"So, we've a little time."

Oh dean's room is not going to get out of this unscathed

-

She raises up the wooden pestle.

"to fill what?"

-

*red flashing sign which says 'PENIS' is glaring uncontrollably in the corner of the screen*

-

Listen, because these two are the skankiest archangel and rowena, who is, well, rowena, we are getting to enjoy subtext for the sake of immediate pay off that they're openly attracted to each other and we're literally getting their checking each other out and staring into each other's eyes montage.

Sure does help with the show doing this more subtly in other places.

-

SHE'S

i

Phil -

BOBO

-

yeah and abruptly to give them some privacy, back to TFW who are gonna come to whatever conclusion, go looking for Gabriel and Rowena, and end up knocking on Dean's door, open it, there they are in a heap in his bed.

-

Bobo "invented the fan fiction gap" Berens writing like it's going out of style

-

Oh no Sam's sitting next to the coffee maker that was briefly haunted by Kevin, in a Bobo episode.

-

"I don't like it, but it's our only choice. Our fun, great choice."

Bobo I forgot how much I love your Sam. Your Sam makes me laugh and cry. And here is sarcastic Sam, briefly returning from hiatus, and of course you are writing my favourite and the best version of Sam.

He gets to call out how they make these choices all the time where they have to go do horrible things, even against their own trauma. When he'd rather be anywhere else.

-

Dean points out they only have 24 hours as a complaint, but Sam has a "wait a second" which maaay or may not be resolving that. But first, they go find their archangel and witch -

Dean looks a little perturbed

-

Awwww they were only making out among the books, not defiling Dean's room.

Shame.

-

Cas's head immediately tilts.

Fan fic aside, this is the most action the Bunker has EVER seen.

Unless Sam and Eileen hooked up in 12x17, that is.

The most confirmed action. No one has ever brought a date back here.

Dean still has not hooked up with Cas. That we know of.

-

"Reading books... here in the library... Which is the room we are in now." Well okay sure

Sam is utterly horrified. Take your shipping pick on which one or both of them he's most affronted by.

Gabriel is 100% that guy you can NOT introduce to your attractive friends.

-

What is Cas even doing

he's like... I can't even look at you, Gabriel

-

Oh, bartender in the shirt Gabriel will be in very shortly. *pretends not to be surprised*

I guess we're not hearing the plan yet :P

-

The bartender sounds awfully concerned about how much Lucifer is drinking - if it's Gabriel, he's needling him about how much he's drinking, maybe just to hear how he justifies it.

-

"I had Heaven... Hell... in the palm of my hand. You know what I learned?" Me, internally: "Nothing."

Lucifer grumbling about how they don't matter, though. They don't matter to HIM, but they matter for the world running smoothly. The natural order, the cogs whirring as they should, would all do so much better without you around. Wherever you go, you don't fit in and you suck.

- He moves on to grumbling about Jack and how he can't find him, how it doesn't matter because "his bitch of a mother poisoned him against me, probably forever" - humanity is a poison to him. Love and compassion literally toxic.

-

"I'm sure things will work out in the end. Jack will come around!"

I know Gabriel is just trying to troll Lucifer, but it does read as ominous, because all season the low key threat has been there that Jack might end up going at least a little darkside. More darkside than being reckless and accidentally hurting people. Going over a darkside where he doesn't immediately feel dreadful about the people who get hurt around him.

-

Hahaha he's so drunk. Rowena can magically roofie him. Wonderful.

And of course at the reveal, Gabriel has Kingdom Beer signs on top of him. The sign of the Kingdom of Heaven.

(I continue kinda wondering/hoping about the prodigal son return for Gabriel)

The thing is, how did they know Lucifer would be here or receptive to being roofied? Honestly, if this episode keeps up the quality, I won't question it beyond this note :P

-

Oh I love this confrontation.

"Surprise"

He runs out of a bright white door and right through the other side.  This feels a LOT like Chuck's bar in 11x20, which calls back to Robbie's fare thee well episode, and reminds us that Gabriel really is the most like his father of all his sons, but also is the trap in the fairy tent with Charlie in 8x11.

There's a stag on the door, and that's more virile imagery.

-

If Gabriel is low on grace, I'd imagine this is Rowena's work, for the most part, and Gabriel just has to be intimidating enough to make this work.

-

Oh look here's someone else "back from the dead" ... It's not Lucifer's day

and even if she's not on the fullest full power, she's ready to meet Lucifer, because Sam's the one who kills her.

-

He must think he's hallucinating some people he killed, until it all get too real.

-

"Put me out of my misery! Go ahead!"

this is what I like to hear.

Sadly, I doubt they will. But it's still music to my ears.

Lucifer reaching the nadir of this arc, wherever it's supposed to go... I hope to his death, and it would be nice if he did die at the end of the season and the show was brave enough to move on to a world without Lucifer. With the apparent draw of Mark P to some parts of the audience I'm scared they won't, but at the very least it's seeming somewhat plausible right now, as he's brought down again and again and shown to have no moral fibre, no redeeming qualities, no drive to do better. Through and through, vile and useless, the story tells us, agreeing with how he comes across, how Mark P as Lucifer makes us feel in a way that the energy of Casifer did not convey at all because that all seemed to be at least for a purpose and Casifer was fun, and it didn't seem to be implying Lucifer trailing on and on and unendingly on as it ended up being >.>

-

take 2 of the spell! Lucifer trussed up in the Bunker library, Dean perching on a table. Get your muddy boots off that chair.

-

I love watching him kneeling there leaking grace. I'm petty like that... I feel like everyone in the room is too. It has a feeling like when they stole Metatron's grace, but instead no one cares to heal him and they're not even really aiming to make him human, they're just kinda. Ew. Lucifer. Who cares.

-

Rowena's trousers are INCREDIBLE.

-

I swear they used "stuck pig" in the last couple of episodes, or I'm imagining that?

Anyway Sam's plan is the least they could do to Lucifer

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

-

This is what happens when you suck: eventually a bunch of guys (gender neutral term) pin you down, leave you frozen in place dripping grace in a gross way, and all laugh at you before they leave

-

"When we get back, then we'll kill you."

Nice plan. Sadly, nice as it is, it gives Lucifer wiggle room to not be here or not be dead >.>

Rowena staying behind with him is unconcerning when Sam goes through the rift in the sense of character death (and she's a lot more confident around Lucifer all of a sudden :P) but I still don't want anything too bad to happen to her :( Still, it seems like a half-assurance that she will be okay.

-

"Save your mum," Rowena says.

The main problem, of course, being that Lucifer knows Mary is there, doesn't know Jack is there, but while they played it very cool, it's worryingly likely he's starting to guess that Jack is in there, whether he can sense him through the rift or he just has a feeling that this might be it...

-

Ahahahaha it's on a hill

Sam and Cas roll down it, Gabriel kinda cartwheels, and Dean comes out running and does a cool skid down the hill.

Oh gross, Gabriel ended up face first in Cas's crotch :P Dean is like FIRST YOU DEFILE ROWENA AND NOW CAS? HOW DARE -

-

IS THIS ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT PENISES?

-

Dean is just... wow

-

You guys, sometimes it's easy to meta an episode and sometimes it is very very hard and sometimes you don't even wanna type the words very very hard

-

"Kentucky. North East Kentucky" are we here entirely because of Asmodeus or is this to put us kinda halfway between Michael and Jack's last known location? Not that they know Michael's current location.

-

Rowena has no time for concern trolling about being "left behind in the kitchen" when she knows the only reason Lucifer would care is because he wants out.

She also reminds him he's being emasculated, because yes, this episode is all about penises.

-

Lucifer switches to being annoying, singing the same song as the password to Billie's pad in 11x10 - the episode where he first killed Rowena.

-

Gabriel walking along holding his blade at a 90 dergee angle to his body

-

Cas drops by to casually check how Gabriel is feeling about running Heaven maybe perhaps pretty please?

Gabriel points out all the things which could kill them first before they ever need to worry about that

Oh gosh he did have sex with Rowena. At some point. Maybe not right then in the library unless he magically dressed her again. But some point between then and now. Pfft.

-

Poor Dean's room I guess.

-

Cas is remarkably good at steering this conversation, when he has a point to get to. He has learned a considerable amount of tact before getting to "Heaven's dying, Gabriel," because for one thing he hasn't hauled him aside and said all this sooner. I'm always pleased when Cas's people skills are apparent.

-

"They wouldn't want me back, Castiel. As far as they're concerned, I'm a screw up. Hell, as far as *I'm* concerned I'm a screw up."

Oh, no. Please don't make me like you any more than I already do. This is the opposite conversation to 9x18 in the car with meta!Gabriel, Cas having to bring up the subject of Gabriel leading Heaven. It has to be him because they need an archangel, so there's no double bluff to pull where Cas could do it instead. There were 9x18 vibes all over last episode right down to Dean having a soft moment over the phone from a motel with Cas while they worked 2 ends of a case, and now we have this. 9x18 is steering a little bit from the background.

I LIKE the idea of Gabriel as the leader of a mostly stable but much more chill Heaven. And this seems tentatively positive, that it's maaaaybe just a self-esteem/compatibility thing. This is what is immediately being offered as the first obstacle to mind. Gabriel left, because of his brothers, but they're all dead or bound in the main world. They daren't haul Michael out of the pit, even just to imprison him in Heaven to keep the lights on, apparently, which just leaves him. And his major reasons for leaving are all gone now. No more archangels. Just him.

Which means that I was right after Naomi asked Cas to see about getting him back, that this comes down to how Gabriel feels, that after all this isolation, it's about does he feel he can return home, and how will home feel about him returning.

-

"Well, heaven's been run into the ground by upstanding angels. Perhaps a screw up is what we need."

ILY babe

-

*Cas looks hopefully at Gabriel*

*Conversation ends with a long shot of their walk in the woods*

-

Well that was a veeeery interesting note to leave that. As I was saying a few hours ago about 13x20, it may be that Gabriel doesn't need to find something to stand for to die for, but to LIVE for, which is a much more positive thing. I really actually kinda like the way this dovetails with Heaven's problems as a reason to compel him to go back, because Gabriel approaching it like a screw up who doesn't want to break anything sure is better than an egomaniac having a go.

-

Sam is feeling bouncier just to be in the same universe as mom and Jack

he wants the pizza party

let him have the fucking pizza party

it was just his birthday!

-

He's wearing his dumb backpack he's had season season 1 and it makes me unhappy in a "oh god he was so tiny" way

-

He's also being unnervingly optimistic about how close they are to winning, to getting Mary and Jack back, and he's finally got optimism. His mood is basically defined by this to such a horrible degree.

... Which is totally not a parallel to the beginning of the season where Dean was miserable until they got Cas back at which point he was so happy that Sam called him out on it

-

*distant screams of campers being menaced by a wendigo in the woods*

-

"Not our world, not our problem."

Dude, they're hunters wherever

-

Interesting how everyone here knows about the supernatural, so random hikers keeping low off the grid will know what was attacking them. And some basic lore about how vampires were affected by the lower population and starvation

-

TBH the comparison to the wendigo in looks isn't too wildly far off; they're both humans who have become completely monstrous in a way where they go off the deep end

-

The rebels Jack and Mary set up a colony there ... that could be anyone

-

Oh, great, tunnel of terrifying vampires. This is a distraction/time waste that will probably eat up the rest of the episode for them and cause nothing but pain >.>

-

Oh, we're only halfway through...

-

Gah how are we only halfway through??

-

Oh no, Rowena. Being left alone with Lucifer being annoying is one thing. Being left alone with him talking about how he murdered her is not a thing where she can play up the vindictiveness of the situation... trauma is trauma and just because she has him bound and knows he can't kill her isn't something that makes her entirely immune to facing that :(

-

Oh Rowena

-

Oh no

-

... Although within that Rowena casually calls them "his three fathers" which is hilarious and also particularly awful for Lucifer to  hear because it was bad enough knowing that Jack liked Cas more than him when he didn't know that

-

Yeeeep she didn't know that winding him up makes him stronger because anger is where his power comes from because he's so fuckin awful

-

Also ew he has something to fight for.

At least until Jack smushes him like a bug /wishful thinking

-

Oh for - he didn't even jump into the portal, she threw him off of her and he went in it by accident.

I mean, just for accountability stakes, adding it all up, could that have been any more her fault? Bleh :P

-

I assume the portal will still stay open a lil while, but

-

Oh, she's packing the Black Grimoire.

Good.

Now, is she actually going into the rift to save them, while putting on her fancy coat and scarf and all?

Or is she leaving?

-

"Not my problem!"

-

Those guys are your friends.

"BOLLOCKS!"

How DARE I have feelings. FEELINGS.

-

I guess Gabriel is also on the other side of the rift.

They're soulmates :P

-

Omg it's not the old mine from 1x02 and 11x19

I'm actually disappointed

-

Heheh everyone has glowsticks

party!Cas

-

THIS PLACE IS SCARY AND I DON'T LIKE IT

-

WHERE IS THE RAVE?

-

Wonder how much speculation we'll get about Dean looking up at that one bright light and being in a spotlight under it... Like, Michael-wise.

It is interesting to single him out with the spotlight.

-

*Cas and Gabriel just casually moving rocks*

Look, Cas could blast those all away but they're trying to play it cool for the campers

-

Who may or may not get picked off by vampires

-

No, Sam is wandering

he will be picked off by vampires

-

Bobo you need to stop killing Sam

-

I mean theoretically you just murdered Sam and are ditching the show to go write Wayward like hah hahahaha no consequences here I am the showrunner, now I will make Claire and Kaia kiss

-

Think of how Jody will feel, my guy

-

...

Okay that's enough of the "Sam is permanently dead lol" joking.

-

"Saaaam!" Cas yells and disappears down the tunnel

-

Cas comes back Sam-less and makes Dean leave too. I'm gonna be ship neutral on account of how Sam just got eaten by vampires. But it was intense and sad.

-

Yet, somehow, less sad than that time Cas died in front of Dean, when it comes to OTT melodrama. I mean there was a lot of shouting, but Dean's still moving.

-

Dean looks great

-

Hey, I guess 11x17 was good practice for this.

-

Cas ought to be walking with him holding his hand. It's criminal to make him do this alone

-

Wow, Sam you look terrible.

-

Guys, are you really going to destroy the angel warding on the camp? That's SUPER DANGEROUS

-

MARY

HUGS

YAY

(Why are you not hugging Cas?)

-

So yeah, you gotta tell mom that Sam's dead now

-

Just to get you

-

You can have one (1) family member at a time

-

Aw no don't cry!!!

-

Look, your brother was just taking a snooze because the rave got too real! He and his glowstick are fine!

...

Somehow

-

Is he a vampire?

-

Mittens tells me he's not a vampire, which just makes this all the more confusing

-

Aw

shit

-

Sam's like, can we go back to when I was dead?

-

Okay now he's heard Lucifer's story he's like can I REALLY go back to being dead?

-

This is like when someone wakes you up in the morning and you just don't wanna get out of bed. In that moment, no matter how much you love that person, they are to you metaphorically what Lucifer is to Sam right now.

Fitting, that it started with him vs his alarm clock as a loved one

Now we see the even darker side to mornings

-

Look, I'm kinda... horrified here so I'm just...

Can you kill this fucker and get back to your family already?

-

HONESTLY if I was Sam I'd take my chance with the wall of angry vampires rather than stick around for this conversation

-

"You need me"

... no shade on that concept though or anything, when it's a wall of angry vampires vs pretending to like Lucifer so he can hang out with Jack

-

I mean seriously I love Sam to bits but I'd be genuinely happy to see him torn apart by vampires again just to spite Lucifer.

-

Oh JACK no sweetie

We didn't even see them getting to hug each other, it's just straight to Gabriel sitting quietly, Jack pacing miserably, demanding why they didn't bring Sam back

-

Oh, he's fine

all that stress for nothing

-

"Please don't judge this friend I made at the rave, it was a really really bad night."

-

Do you ever find yourself staring into space thinking, "I would genuinely have been happier if the last shot of the episode was Sam being torn apart by vampires for the second time in 15 minutes?"

-

This is gonna go over swimmingly in a Buckleming episode for all the character dynamics. They are the only writers left who seem to actually like Lucifer.

-

Why does everything build up to stuff that needs to be handled by not-Buckleming right before a Buckleming episode anyway?