#the worst one ever was when she lied that I’m too sick to go to my grans party and my dad left without me … my gran died a few weeks later

[sab-teraa]

[ignore]

[eloriis]

TRAITOR - carlos sainz

- inspired by traitor | olivia rodrigo

in which . . y/n struggle with the pain of betrayal after a breakup when carlos quickly moves on with someone else, leaving her questioning their entire relationship and the promises he broke.

warnings : a lowkey toxic relationship if u squint ur eyes at a few sentences, ntg else i think?

notes : second fully written work! ‘heather’ didn’t really do as well as i hoped it would tbh :( but i hope this one does better 🤞🏼 and lexi, i’m sorry if i made you cry but ily my hype girl 🫶🏼

and for a person who usually hates angst, i seem to write them the best 😓

plsplspls don’t ask for a part 2 for fics that do not have any info about them being a series.

type : written ⋆ word count : 1.2k

brown guilty eyes and little white lies, yeah i played dumb, but i always knew

that you talked to her, maybe did even worse

i kept quiet so i could keep you

carlos’ big brown eyes were one of the prettiest ones i had ever seen in her entire life. no matter how common brown eyes were, his eyes would always be the ones i would look for in the crowd. i didn’t know the exact day when the eyes she knew she could always find comfort in suddenly became the ones i started avoiding. it all started with little white lies like “i can’t make it to the date tonight, i have to stay late for practice” or “i’m meeting with the boys tonight! don’t stay up late waiting for me”.

those texts never sat right in my heart; they sounded too fake, too scripted. i could never manage to go too deep into her own thoughts about what he actually might be doing with her while i was waiting for him to come back home.

and ain’t it funny

how you ran to her

the second we called it quits?

i could almost laugh through the pain while reading the new article about you and her being spotted by the paparazzi the day after we called finally ended all those years of being each other’s one and only.

and ain’t it funny

how you said you were friends?

now it sure as hell don’t look like it

he always said that they were just friends, that they were close due to a mutual friend. that’s what he told everyone who asked him about her. but all these recent pictures online don’t really make a good argument against them being a couple.

you betrayed me

and i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt, yeah

you’d talk to her

when we were together

loved you at your worst

but that didn't matter

feeling betrayed wasn’t an emotion i was well versed in or had been anticipating to be in this life, clearly fate had other plans.

i kept hoping that i would maybe get a text from you, an apology for all those years of my life wasted on making sure you were okay when you were at your lowest and worst point of your life.

all those years wasted. all because you decided halfway that you wanted her and not me.

it took you two weeks

to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat

but you're still a traitor

two weeks. that was all it took for you to move on from a relationship that lasted for years. everyone says that you guys look so cute together, maybe if you heard that enough before, you would have ended up with her earlier and not have been labelled a traitor in my heart.

now you bring her around

just to shut me down

show her off like she's a new trophy

we finally ran into each other at a bar almost three months after the breakup. the second you saw me, you pulled her by her waist and kissed her right in front of me, showing her off like she was a new trophy.

and i know if you were true

there’s no damn way that you

could fall in love with somebody that quickly

if you were as true to us as you claimed you were, i’m damn sure that there’s no way you could have actually been able to move on so quickly and fall in love with someone else.

ain’t it funny

all the twisted games

all the questions you used to avoid?

was whatever we had just some sick twisted game to you? one that you oh so badly had to play? all those questions that you always seemed to be too busy to answer suddenly came back to me, they seemed harmless at that time, if only i knew.

ain’t it funny?

remember i brought her up

and you told me i was paranoid

remember that one time i brought her name up during a conversation? how you called me paranoid and sick because of how i was villainising her, i had just asked you if she had to stay with us when she came to visit even though she has friends who live here.

you betrayed me

and i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt, yeah

you’d talk to her

when we were together

loved you at your worst

but that didn't matter

you left my life without a second thought, and i know that you will never understand the pain of being the one to be left alone while the other moved on like none of it ever existed. you always wanted her in your life, even when i was right there. i stood by you through everything, through your lowest points, but it didn’t change anything in the end.

it took you two weeks

to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat

but you're still a traitor

you really wasted no time jumping into her arms, as if what we had didn’t mean anything. maybe you weren’t unfaithful, but seeing the way you moved on so fast hurts the same.

god, I wish that you had thought this through

before i went and fell in love with you

when she's sleeping in the bed we made

don’t you dare forget about the way

i just wish that you had thought about what i would do after you decided that you were bored of me, atleast before i fell in love with you.

i want you to remember how we cuddled, cried, laughed, loved and cared in the same bed that she is now sleeping in.

you betrayed me

'cause i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt, yeah

you’d talk to her

when we were together

you gave me your word

but that didn't matter

i realize now that you’ll never take responsibility for breaking my heart. you left me behind without a hint of remorse, as if my feelings were never real to you. even when you promised me forever, she was always there, lurking in the background. your words meant nothing in the end, just empty promises that you broke without a second glance.

it took you two weeks

to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat

but you're still

you’re still a traitor

yeah, you're still a traitor

two weeks was all it took for you to forget us, to move on like i was nothing. you didn’t break the rules, but you broke my trust, and that’s just as cruel. no matter how much time passes, the sting of betrayal lingers. you might think you’re innocent, but deep down, we both know what you did.

god, i wish that you had thought this through

before i went and fell in love with you

if only you had thought this stupid thing throughout, maybe i wouldn’t be in my bed crying over how much loving you and your beautiful brown eyes had taken from me.

[luvhughes43]

vicious | trevor zegras x reader

luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

summary: media girl for the ducks, trev and her start hooking up + secret relationship but he tells people it’s not true & ruins her image in the process

lyrics: "oh, you're so vicious love me then pretend you didn't, crush my heart and wreck my image, why you gotta be so vicious?

word count: 1.5k

One year, ten thousand bad moments

But it was dressed up in heated emotion

And I tried to look for the best in the worst

But like, fuck me, that caused a commotion

you knew that what you and trevor were doing could end badly. but with every soft kiss, and tug, all your worries melted away. 

you had been working for the ducks as a photographer ever since your internship ended with them a few years back. therefore, you made sure not to let yours and trevor's relationship slip to your coworkers and trevor's teammates.you hadn’t bothered to read over your contract or work policies because who was going to know? it had never been serious with trevor. you’d meet up, hook up, and then that was that until the next time. 

you were secretly seeing him after practices. your camera long forgotten when trevor first asked you to meet at his place to “spice up my instagram”. it was all so easy. your routine was quickly set in stone after the first few meetups. when jamie went to the gym trevor was calling you up. when you were free of your photography duties you would sneak trevor into your office… it was reckless but worth it.

you knew now that you should've been more careful. not with how secretive you were being, because you had never been caught. but careful in the sense that trevor was a traitor. 

Oh, you're so vicious

Love me, then pretend you didn't

Crush my heart and wreck my image

Why you gotta be so vicious?

“i love you so much yn” Trevor mumbled into your skin as you laid tangled up in his bedsheets. you ran your hands through his hair, savouring the sweet moment.

“yeah so she thinks i’m in love with her or something,” Trevor laughs, his shoulders rising up and down like a comic book character. you would’ve smiled at the action if he wasn’t talking badly about you. “It’s kind of unprofessional if i’m being honest… i mean yns hot but…” he trails off chuckling. you couldn't gauge his teammates reactions to his statements. 

you felt your face burn up with embarrassment as Trevor continued his spiel about how you were apparently obsessed with him. as if he wasn’t the one always calling you up whenever he got too lonely. 

“have we slept together? no, of course not. she wants to though. i bet she’d beg me if i gave her the time of day”

“you should've seen how she was looking at me yesterday… it's crazy man! i'm surprised she hasn't gotten fired yet”

“do i mind that she’s obsessed? nah i mean the girls love me i’m used to it,” his eyes were crinkling from the wide smile plastered on his face, shoulders shaking with laughter as he and his friends joked at your expense. 

Said that it was me and you for life

Now you're kinda actin' like I died

word of what trevor had said about you had gotten around. lies that started with loud discussions with teammates turned into your coworkers overhearing, which turned into long HR reports. 

4 days after the first lie was uttered you were brought into your bosses office. she hadn’t cared about your side of things. his word was always going to be more trustworthy than yours. you were fired that day.

you had tried to seek trevor out as soon as you left your ex bosses office. your hands were shaking and your lip was quivering as you walked through random hallways. 

you heard his voice before you saw him. you couldn't exactly make out what he and whoever he was with was saying, but you knew he was laughing. 

rounding the corner you saw him. trevor was talking to one of the media girls. one of his hands was resting playfully on her arm while she giggled at whatever he had said. you felt sick. 

trevor met your eyes and his immediately widened. his hand fell from the girls arm and he brought it up to run through his hair. 

“trevor, I need to talk to you,” your voice was shaky but strong nonetheless. at your tone, the girl looked between you and trevor with clear apprehension in her eyes. 

trevor clearly picked up on this. “uhh, y/n im sure we can talk later yeah?” he said, sending a quick smile to the girl standing next to him. 

“i need to talk to you now,” you pushed ahead, knowing that if you stopped talking your composure would slip and you'd start sobbing in the hallway. 

trevor sighed, as if he had the right to be annoyed with you. he smiled apologetically at the girl again before he let you lead the way back to your office. 

You don't feel remorse, you don't feel the effects

'Cause you don't think you hurt me if you wish me the best

“look yn, i’m really sorry this happened but,” trevor started but you cut him off.

“oh you're sorry huh?” you spit out, hands shaking with anger. 

“i just want you to know that i wish you the best” he continued, clearly ignoring your anger.

“i was fired! trevor, I was fired because you decided it would be fun to ruin my reputation!” you burst out, voice rising as you let all of your frustration out. 

he rolled his eyes, “yeah i get that and i’ve said sorry. i don’t know what else you want me to do” trevor said, stuffing his hands in his pants pocket and leaning back against your office door. which you guess wasn’t really yours anymore.

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. you closed your eyes for a minute to try and breathe through all the anger coursing through your veins, but trevors need to constantly be moving and making noise only aggravated you further. 

you sighed, opening your eyes again to see trevor tapping his foot impatiently against the carpeted floor. “‘i don't know what else you want me to do!’” you mimicked trevor in a high pitched voice. “i want you to tell my boss that you were wrong! That you lied! how could you do this to me? what am i supposed to do now?” you seethed, completely forgetting your strategies to calm yourself down. you had thought trevor was different when you two started hooking up. everyone seemed to have loved him, the media adored him, fans well… they’re divided but all in all… he seemed like the perfect guy on paper. but in reality, he was just vicious.

“okay calm down,” trevor says sternly, raising his hands up in surrender. “i didn't try to get you fired on purpose! it just happened” his defence was pathetic and you laughed humorlessly. 

“yeah well what are you going to do about it?” you questioned him, anger still present in your voice as you glared at him. 

“there's literally nothing i can do that's why i apologized” 

“there's a thousand things you can do! tell everyone you lied!” you were on the verge of yelling and so trevor gently shut the door. 

“if i tell everyone i was making things up, i dont have anyone's trust. you've gotta understand that my image is important here and-” trevor was talking but your ears were ringing. he wouldn't come clean because his image was important? what about yours? you were now unemployed, and your reputation would be forever ruined. it would be one thing if news had gotten out that you were seeing trevor. but now everyone thinks that you're obsessed with him. people were staring at you weirdly in the halls, whispering when you walked by. you couldn't stand the sight of him.

“get out.”

“y/n what?” trevor steps back, clearly not anticipating for you to be as angry as you were.

“i said get out. i don't need your worthless apologies and explanations of why you wont help me” your voice was raised and trevor raised his arms up in defence again. 

“im sorry like-” he starts but you once again cut him off.

“GET OUT!” you yell, walking over to your office door and yanking it open. a few of your coworkers were lingering outside and you could feel their heated gaze on you. you shoved trevor out of the room regardless, ignoring all the chatter outside as you slammed the door shut again. 

white hot tears blurred your vision as you sank down to the floor. You brought your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them. you had never felt so defeated before. your dream job was gone, and any future you had in photography would be tainted by trevors false claims. 

Oh, you're so vicious

I loved you but I wish I didn't

If you're out there somewhere listenin'

Why you gotta be so vicious?

you sat and cried until you were sore, wanting nothing more than to erase trevor zegras from your life.

[arpmemething2]

Batman the Animated Series sentence starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction.  Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"All right, scum bucket, it's you, me, and thirty stories. You're gonna tell me exactly what I want to know."

"That's one way to remove a splinter."

"I have this natural immunity against poisons, toxins, the pain and suffering of others. Go figure."

"I failed you. I wish there were another way for me to say it. I cannot. I can only beg your forgiveness, and pray you hear me somehow, someplace... someplace where a warm hand waits for mine."

"Last time we met, you tried to throw me off a building."

"If you think I've been bad news before..."

"Old and infirm as you are, I'd trade a thousand of my frozen years for your worst day."

"What kind of a saboteur uses a six-thousand dollar Metronex to set a time bomb?"

"I never counted on being happy."

"A strong mind can fuel a frail body."

"I need a new car."

"There's no way you could have escaped from that explosion! How did you get out?"

"I'm gettin' too old for this."

"I suppose what they say is true: society is to blame. High society."

"Succumb to the fear!"

"Gee, it's amazing the things you find in people's glove compartments."

"Children and guns do not mix. Ever."

"I'm having a BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over or blow me up!"

"They're not stupid, and it's your party."

"Aren't they just the cutest family you've ever seen?"

"It's midnight darling, time to unmask."

"It's gonna be one of those nights."

"When you look too long into the abyss, the abyss looks back through you."

"If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"

"You've got to admit there's something between us."

"There's always time to heal."

"I didn't realize you'd taken up listening to rock and roll."

"Choosing a weekend date?"

"I don't believe in fate."

"An entire city screaming in fear. I wonder if we'll be able to hear it."

"Some thought I'd gone mad. Others thought I always had been. And so they put me where they thought I belonged."

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no tales."

"This city would fall apart without you!"

"I love that trick but I can never make it work."

"Taking up video games, are we?"

"I hate it when he does that."

"You are strong... but not strong enough!"

"They don't make straight jackets like they used to. I should know."

"He's not samurai. He's NINJA. They're spies and assassins. Their only code is to get the job done."

"A pixel is worth a thousand words."

"I am vengeance! I am the night!!"

"And who says opera has to be boring?"

"He always knew how to make an exit."

"Hey! Do I hit your kids? Oh, actually I do..."

"Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?"

"Not the robot theory again."

"Freeze, maggots! You're all under arrest!"

"You said you'd never let me go home!"

"What was she before she went bonkers?"

"This used to be a beautiful street. Good people lived here once."

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, and made a small profit, than never to have loved at all!"

"Chance is everything. Whether you're born or not, whether you live or die, whether you're good or bad. It's all arbitrary."

"But you've forgotten the first rule of comedy: if you have to explain the joke... THEN IT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"I told you not to speak!"

"Coming through! Hot stuff!"

"The snow is beautiful, don't you think? Clean, uncompromising..."

"When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping."

"What a pleasant surprise. Though I should warn you - breaking and entering is against the law."

"This could cause a stampede to pork."

"You really know how to put the fun in funeral."

"You ought to put your toys away."

"Would not, could not... would not, could not... oh, could not join the dance."

"Home. I never thought that could sound so good."

"Then I'll see you in your nightmares!"

"As the Bard said, "the fault lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.""

"You know what I'd have given for a death scene like this. Too bad I won't get to read the notices."

"He's a little protective of all this. I think he likes bats better than people."

"All your power and money has bought you an empire of misery."

"Don't try this at home kids!"

"I feel ill."

"Well, that was fun! Now, who's for Chinese?"

"You're about to fall out of orbit."

"Why can't he ever stay dead?"

"They can bury me in the ground, as deep as they like. But I'll grow back. We always grow back. Don't we, baby?"

"All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative."

"You thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! Well, the joke's on you, 'cause I'm not even a real blonde."

"When the wage slaves start acting like they own the place, it's time to pull the plug."

"I've been known to be foolish, but ain't nobody calls me a liar and goes to bed happy."

"Since you don't like my side-splitters, how 'bout a skull-splitter?"

"This is kidnapping, mister! Last time I checked, it was highly illegal!"

[villainesses]

you’ll always be my favorite ghost, a baby billy freeman mix for his beautiful, fantasy aimee-leigh

→ listen on spotify, selected lyrics under the cut

part one

i. my favourite faded fantasy ‣ you could hold the secrets that save me from myself / i could love you more than love could all the way from hell / you could be my poison, my cross, my razor blade / i could love you more than life / if i wasn’t so afraid

ii. tonight you belong to me ‣ i know (i know) you belong to somebody new / but tonight you belong to me / although (although) we’re apart / you’re a part of my heart / and tonight you belong to me

iii. babe, you turn me on ‣ everything is falling, dear / everything is wrong / it’s just history repeating itself / and babe, you turn me on / like a light bulb, babe / like a song

iv. take it off ‣ in the back of my closet, there’s a yellow dress / the tag is still on it / won’t you give me a reason / to take it off?

v. limp ‣ but no matter what i try, you’ll beat me with your bitter lies / so call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now, baby / it won’t be long till you’ll be lying limp in your own hands

vi. i will always ‣ and when it all seems like a mistake / take whatever you need to take / leave the rest for my own sake / i will always go beside you / you will always understand it

vii. take me to church ‣ if the heavens ever did speak / she’s the last true mouthpiece / every sunday’s gettin’ more bleak / a fresh poison each week / we were born sick, you heard them say it

viii. lie to me ‣ and if there’s anything i learned that will keep me standing / if i take you at your word then i’m empty-handed / a tongue like yours should be burned and branded / so i can see you lie to me

ix. big god ‣ you know i still like you the most / the best of the best and the worst of the worst / well, you can never know the places that i go / i still like you the most / you’ll always be my favourite ghost

part two

i. 25th december ‣ and all of a sudden i’m stuck with an urge to unlock a door / with a key that’s too big for my hands / and i drop it, and it falls at your feet / come on, come on, it’s there at your feet

ii. feeling of falling ‣ it’s after midnight baby, i’m sittin’ here all alone / i tried to call your number baby / but you weren’t at home / i been a good girl baby, through with all that mess / but the way i’m feelin’ now, darlin’ / well it scares me half to death

iii. iris ‣ and i’d give up forever to touch you / ‘cause i know that you feel me somehow / you’re the closest to heaven that i’ll ever be / and i don’t wanna go home right now

iv. forget me not ‣ forget me not, my dear, my darling / forget me not, my love / i just wanna hold your hand / hang on every word you say / let’s write a song for us / and sing until we’re old and grey

v. like a river runs ‣ when i fall asleep, i can see your face / what i lost in you i will not replace / and i could run away, i could let them down / but i will remember your light / your light, it follows me in darkness

interlude: the ghost of aimee-leigh

vi. live in the dream ‣ ‘cause there’s a lot of people here who wanna do you harm / but stay with me, you fallen lamb / and i’ll keep you in my arms / but i can’t live in the dream / the dream lives in me

epilogue: free fallin’ ‣ i wanna glide down over mulholland / i wanna write her name in the sky / i’m gonna free fall out into nothin’ / gonna leave this world for a while

[lovecla]

OCEAN EYES | connor bedard

chapter two.

➴ warnings: swearing, underage drinking.

➴ word count: 2.8k

➴ author’s note: thank u to everyone who read the first chapter. it's insane for me. thank u thank u thank u. hope u like this one too :))

CONNOR didn’t speak to you for the rest of the night.

You knew he still was at your house but no matter how many laps you and Chloe walked, you couldn’t find him for the love of God.

And honestly, it made you feel sick to your stomach. Lying to him was just the worst and all you wanted to do was call him and apologize.

But you couldn’t do that with Chloe, could you? You already felt like the worst friend of all time because the truth was: you didn’t want them to date. You didn’t know the exact reason for that but you still felt that way.

You decided to call it a night and go back to your room, saying goodbye to Chloe— she said no when you asked her to sleep over— and going upstairs. You removed all of your makeup and clothes, putting on your favorite pajamas, trying to find some comfort in them.

Trying to sleep was useless, the downstairs noise not helping at all. So you just grabbed your TV remote and accessed your Disney+ account, pressing play on the first Marvel movie you saw.

It was going to be a long night.

—

“YOU look like you had a long night. Too much partying?”

Alex’s voice sounded too loud and too annoying for your taste, but it was probably due to the fact that you only managed to sleep two hours last night.

“I fucking swear to God, I’m gonna punch you in the face right now,” you mumbled, grabbing the cereal from the counter and pouring a large amount into your mouth.

“No, I’m serious! And you look crazy as hell with the Spider-Man hoodie and the sunglasses. Did you join a crackhead community in which you have to dress like that to be a member?”

“Alex! Fuck!” You yelled, annoyed as hell. “Go play some Hockey! Do some research on fucking cancer! I don’t know, just leave me alone.”

You knew you were being difficult for no reason. It wasn’t Alex’s fault you hadn’t slept well— or that Chloe was trying to make Connor her newest prized possession. But somehow your stupid, sleep deprived brain thought otherwise.

“Boo, you’re no fun today. Hit me up when you leave The Crackheads.” Alex smiled, leaving the kitchen after grabbing his gym bag.

Gym. Hah. He’s probably going to work out with Connor.

The thought made you want to crawl out of your skin. You actually missed Connor a lot. It was almost the end of the season and they travel a lot for the games, so you didn’t get to see him or Alex for a long time. And now that he is back, what did you do? Kind of forced him to go on a date with your friend and lied to him? Yeah. Can someone give me the award for being the worst person ever? Thank you.

You laid on the couch, thinking about your situation. Sure, maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe Connor would hate Chloe or maybe Chloe would hate Connor.

But what’s there to hate? Sure, he can come off as a cold, awkward king to everyone and his smiles almost always look forced (even if they aren’t) but Connor has so much to offer.

In these two years you’ve been friends, he never let you down, not once. Whenever you had movie nights with some of Alex and Connor’s teammates, he would always sit beside you and vote for the movie you wanted the most. He’d always let you rest your head on his shoulder, and even sit on his lap if you wanted to take a nap.

He buys you gifts and takes you to the movies at every chance he has, besides buying you tons of Marvel merch and different candies from the states he visits. Sometimes he sends chaotic photos to you, looking like a mess after a game or practice.

Besides checking on you at every chance he got, whenever he was away.

He was everything you could ask for and then some more.

Truthfully, it had been a long time since you had someone who cared as much as he did. Yeah, you have Alex and your parents, but besides them? You only had Chloe. And also Madi, but you weren’t sure if she considered you as a friend like you did her.

So Connor liking you was unexpected but so welcome. Maybe that’s why you were feeling so down about this whole situation.

You don't want to lose him.

“Fuck,” you whispered, still laying on the couch like a starfish. “I need to get a fucking grip.”

A second after you finished your sentence, your phone rang in your hand.

You smiled for the first time that day. Frank was just another one of Alex’s teammates and he was funny as hell. Usually he just wanted to see you whenever he fought with his girlfriend and needed someone to comfort him.

You groaned. Men are so weird.

You got dressed anyway and exactly an hour and a half later, Frank was at your front door, waiting inside his expensive ass car.

“I’ll start charging you since I’m basically your therapist,” you said, as soon as you got inside his car. “How is Josie still dating you, that’s the million dollar question.”

He smirked. “I can name a few reasons.”

“You’re gross. Where are we going?”

“That one Irish pub everyone loves. Hopefully no one will be able to recognise us and I’ll be able to drink my ass off.”

“Not happening, big guy. I can’t carry you while sober, much less while drunk. You’re like twice my weight.” You smiled, feeling a little bit better.

“Stop fat shaming me and be quiet.”

The rest of the drive was cool, Frank talking your ears off about Josie and how in love with her he was.

It was fun to see such a young guy talking about a girl like Frank talked about Josie. He wanted to marry her and be the father of her children, completely ignoring the fact that he’s only twenty-one years old and she’s still in college.

The pub was half full when they arrived but thankfully no one recognised them— or if anyone did, they didn’t say anything.

“I’ll get myself a beer. For you, a Diet Coke, right?”

Usually, you’d just nod and say yes. But you were feeling really shitty. And even though you absolutely hated the taste of alcohol, you wanted your mind to shut the hell up about Connor and Chloe, who were probably having the time of their lives on their little date.

And yeah, what would a little bit of beer even do? It’s not like you’ll get drunk with just one beer. Nah.

“Actually, I’d like the same thing as you.”

Frank smiled. “Ooh, feeling brave today? I see you, girl. Don’t let Alex know that I gave you beer though. He’ll beat my ass.”

“Aye, aye captain.”

—

TURNS out that one beer can get you drunk.

You don’t remember how it happened. If it had been the beer you drank or the several vodka shots you took afterwards.

The only thing you knew was that Backstreet Boys were really good and you totally had to get on the table to dance.

Only if Frank hadn’t stopped you.

“Frank, come ooon,” you said, not really sure if your words were coming out the proper way. “Let’s sing everybody: I want it that way!”

“Tell me why!” Some people answered, or at least you think they did. You’ll never know.

“No more singing, dancing or drinking for you,” you heard his voice from afar, which was really weird since you were sure he was holding you. “Gosh, I didn’t know you couldn’t handle your alcohol. I need to call someone. Wait here.”

He left—probably— and you stayed there, singing Backstreet Boys with your new friends. You were having the time of your life, really, and turns out that drinking is super cool and you probably should do it more.

“I want it that way…” you mumbled, feeling sleepy.

Some time passed before Frank returned, saying something about someone sober picking someone up. You started to wonder who it could be, and came to the conclusion that it was probably Alex since Connor was busy.

Busy with your best friend who’s probably on her way to fuck him like she did with half of their school.

No. That’s just… mean. You shouldn’t think that of Chloe even if it is true. She’s your friend. Just because she and Connor were probably on each other’s throats it didn’t mean she wasn’t your best friend anymore.

“I really like him,” you whispered, or at least you think you did. Your lips felt like moving but no words reached your ears.

After snoozing for half an hour, you felt a hand on your hair, caressing it gently. It felt so, so nice. It reminded you of Connor, because he usually did the same thing to you before you fell asleep on him. And maybe this beer was Bedard induced because you were actually smelling his perfume too.

And… hearing his voice?

“Why did you give her beer? You know she doesn’t drink, asshole.”

“She asked for it! What the hell was I supposed to do?” Frank sounded funny. Like Rugby in Regular Show. Or was it Rigby? Maybe Ragby.

“I’m taking her home. How are you getting home?”

Frank answered something but you couldn’t hear it, since you were really busy trying to get your head up. Why does it weigh so much? Actually, since when does it weigh so much?

You felt two cold hands on your hips, making you shiver. They felt too familiar.

“Come on, El. Let’s go home.”

You finally managed to open your eyes and stare at the man holding you.

Connor.

"Con," you heard yourself saying, not trusting yourself to say something as complicated as Bedsy in that moment. "Hi." You whispered.

His eyes softened and he smiled a little at you. "Hi, El. Why did you drink so much?"

"Dunno," mumbling, you leaned forward, resting your face on the crook of his neck. "Wanted to forget."

"Forget, huh? We'll talk about that later." He said, starting to move your body around until you were out of the pub.

Frank forgotten somewhere else. You didn't really care.

Connor smelled too good for you to think of anything else.

—

SOMEHOW, you ended up at Connor's place. You knew it was his place because 1) he had a 98 Bedard jersey plastered on the wall and 2) he was the only one to buy an apartment instead of a house.

It was nice and cosy and you actually loved coming here, but you limited yourself to only visiting when Madi visited him too. You didn't want to seem needy or anything like that.

Even though his place was a lot nicer than Alex's.

"I'm gonna give you one of my hoodies and sweatpants so you can change. I'm not sure if you can wash yourself so you'll have to sleep without showering. I hope you don't kill me in the morning."

Something inside you wanted to talk back and tell him that he could wash you if he wanted to, but you had a feeling future you would absolutely die at that so you just nodded once, regretting it immediately because it made your world start spinning fast.

"I wish the world would stop spinning," you confessed.

Maybe drinking isn't that cool.

"It will soon. You just need to change, eat and sleep." True to his words, Bedard did give you a change of clothes-his clothes- and food; plain black coffee and plain toast, but, yeah! Food.

You were still feeling like you had done a hundred cartwheels in a row but now you were only seeing one Connor and you could talk without sounding like a three year old.

"Thanks for picking me up." You say, after eating the last bite of toast.

"It's fine. Why did you drink?"

You shrugged.

"El," he got closer, frowning. "I know you. You hate drinking."

He was right. You did. And usually, you'd be happy with your diet soda. But forgetting about Connor's date with Chloe seemed like a good reason.

Oh my god. Connor's date.

"Connor," you started, voice quiet. "What about your date with Chloe?"

"I left."

Your eyes doubled in size but you couldn't help but feel a bit... happy.

"But... what do you mean?"

"Ellie, I only went to that thing because you wanted me to."

Oh.

Oh.

"Because apparently, you had a super important date with a guy— Frank— and couldn't make it tonight." He sounded hurt. Maybe you were just too drunk.

"I didn't have a date with Frank. It was a lie," you whispered, eyes starting to feel wet. You took a deep breath. You weren't going to cry over this. "M sorry I lied to you, Con. It's just that—"

"We can talk tomorrow, El. Let's get you to bed." He got up and started pushing you towards his bedroom.

But your heart still felt heavy on your chest. And your eyes were still wet.

"No, Con, I need to tell you—” you stopped him, both of your hands on his chest, your eyes focused on his. "I didn't want to lie to you. I swear— I would never lie to you willingly because I lo—” you stopped yourself and swallowed down your words. Is it okay for you to say you love your friends? Yeah it probably was. Fuck that. "I love you, Con, and I would never hurt you on purpose. It was just that—"

"El, you're drunk and you're going to regret all of this tomorrow." He tried to stop you once more, his hands on your waist as he forced you to start walking again.

You snapped. "No, Con, please, fuck," Great. Now you're crying. "Just listen to me, please."

"Come to bed and I will."

You frowned but nodded. Despite all of your visits to his apartment, it was your first time in his bedroom. It was all Connor-like, neat, clean and tidy. Some pictures of his family and some trophies adorned the walls and shelves. You caught yourself smiling. One of the pictures was of the day their team won some championship, in which you somehow ended up in the Bedard family picture beside Madi.

He made you lay down on his extra large bed— why would he need a bed this big?— and put the duvet on top of you. It was a chill night and the warm it provided made you sigh happily.

"Are you going to sleep with me?"

Connor stared at you for what felt like a year. Those blue eyes awkwardly staring at you and you felt yourself cringe, just now realising how you worded the phrase.

You both had already slept together, but on the couch and in front of everyone. Never alone and on a bed. But you didn't want to sleep alone, not really.

"Well," he finally said, taking his shirt off and laying down right beside you. It wasn't long until you moved, so that your head was on top of his chest and his arm around you, holding you close to his body.

"Chloe likes you," you mumbled, looking at his chest going up and down, calmly. "At least she thinks she does. I don't think she really likes you. Not like I do, anyway."

He chuckled. "Like you do?"

"Yeah," whispering, you started to draw little patterns on his left peck. "She asked me to introduce you both and I told her that it wasn't a good idea, because you're you and... well. You're not much of a people person."

You heard his soft laugh.

"That I am not."

"She didn't care. She wanted it either way. I didn't know she was going to put you right on the spot like she did. I swear."

"I believe you. And it's fine."

"It's not," you sniffed and stopped moving your hand, trying to wipe your own wet face. When did you start crying anyway? Being drunk is weird. "I shouldn't have lied to you, even if it wasn't on purpose. I didn't have a date and there isn't a guy. I just wanted Chloe to be happy. And even if I don't want to admit it..." you bit your lips. "You guys would look awesome together."

You felt his body stiff underneath you. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well. She is your perfect girlfriend. She's blonde, gorgeous, rich and looks good as hell on cameras. It'd be good for your image." Your own mouth felt bitter after saying those words, but sometimes the truth felt like that.

He took a while to answer, and just when you could feel your whole body falling asleep, you heard his voice saying, softly:

"Yet she's not the one laying on my chest right now."

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Opposites

Note: huge thank you to @meandmypagancrew for assembling all the lyrics for this post! At the same time, they also created an amazing, giant set of lyrics I'm tentatively calling TS and Juxtapositions, which is a looser interpretation of this "opposites" prompt, and which tumblr is currently not letting me actually post on the blog due to its length. Hopefully I can find a workaround soon.

'Taylor Swift'

I’m Only Me When I’m With You: I’m only up when you’re not down

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Love Story: You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess

You Belong With Me: She wears high heels, I wear sneakers

You Belong With Me: I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re about to cry

Forever & Always: It rains when you’re here and it rains when you’re gone

Forever & Always: So here’s to everything coming down to nothing

SuperStar: This is wrong but I can’t help but feel like there ain’t nothing more right, babe

You All Over Me: Held out, and held on God knows too long

That’s When: When it’s sunny or storming

That’s When: Laughing, when I’m crying

That’s When: It was sunny or storming

'Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)'

Mine: You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter

Mine: I fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter

Sparks Fly: It’s just wrong enough to make it feel right

Dear John: Or maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away

When Emma Falls In Love: She waits and takes her time ‘cause little Miss Sunshine always thinks it’s gonna rain

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

All Too Well: You taught me ‘bout your past, thinking your future was me

22: It’s miserable and magical

I Almost Do: I hope you know that every time I don’t, I almost do

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: I say “I hate you,” we break up, you call me, “I love you.”

Begin Again: He didn’t like it when I wore high heels but I do

Begin Again: He always said he didn’t get this song but I do, I do

Begin Again: You don’t know how nice that is, but I do

Forever Winter: He spends most of his flights getting pulled down by gravity

Forever Winter: I’ll be summer sun for your forever, forever winter if you go

'1989 (Taylor’s Version)'

Blank Space: I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

Blank Space: You’re the King, baby, I’m your Queen

Blank Space: Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

Out Of The Woods: The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color

Out Of The Woods: We were built to fall apart then fall back together

I Wish You Would: We’re a crooked love in a straight line down

I Wish You Would: You gave me everything and nothing

Bad Blood: Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it’s all rusted

How You Get The Girl: And then you say, “I want you for worse or for better”

This Love: This love is good, this love is bad

This Love: This love is alive, back from the dead

Wonderland: Whispers turned to talking and talking turned to screams

“Slut!”: In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman

Say Don’t Go: Now your silence has me screaming, screaming

'reputation'

…Ready For It?: Some, some boys are trying too hard, he don’t try at all though

I Did Something Bad: They say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?

I Did Something Bad: You gotta leave before you get left

Gorgeous: You make me so happy it turns back to sad

Getaway Car: The ties were black, the lies were white in shades of grey and candlelight

Dress: Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

Dress: Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

'Lover'

I Forgot That You Existed: It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

Cruel Summer: Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

The Man: And it’s all good if you’re bad

The Archer: I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

The Archer: Easy they come, easy they go

The Archer: Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

You Need To Calm Down: Sunshine on the street at the parade, but you would rather be in the dark ages

Daylight: I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked

Daylight: I want to be defined by the things that I love, not the things I hate

'folklore'

the 1: Been saying “yes” instead of “no”

cardigan: A friend to all is a friend to none

cardigan: Chase two girls, lose the one

this is me trying: I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting

illicit affairs: It’s born from just one single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times

illicit affairs: They show their truth one single time but they lie and they lie and they lie a million little times

invisible string: Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

epiphany: Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out

epiphany: Someone’s daughter, someone’s mother

betty: I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you

betty: Those days turned into nights

peace: I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me

'evermore'

willow: The more that you say, the less I know

'tis the damn season: I won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay

tolerate it: I notice everything you do or don’t do

tolerate it: I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

tolerate it: Gain the weight of you then lose it

ivy: I’d live and die for moments that we stole

marjorie: What died didn’t stay dead, you’re alive, you’re alive in my head

marjorie: What died didn’t stay dead, you’re alive, so alive

closure: I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life, staying friends would iron it out so nice

right where you left me: Friends break up, friends get married

right where you left me: Strangers get born, strangers get buried

'Midnights'

Anti-Hero: Midnights become my afternoons

Midnight Rain: He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

Question…?: Good girl, sad boy

Vigilante Shit: I don’t dress for women, I don’t dress for men

Vigilante Shit: I don’t start shit but I can tell you how it ends

Vigilante Shit: She don’t start shit but she can tell you how it ends

Bejeweled: Don’t put me in the basement when I want the penthouse of your heart

Labyrinth: Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out

Labyrinth: Break up, break free, break through, break down

‘The Tortured Poets Department’

But Daddy I Love Him: Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: If you wanted me dead, you should’ve just said, nothing makes me feel more alive

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): I can fix him, no really, I can, woah, maybe I can’t

loml: Still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried

loml: You low-down boy, you stand-up guy

loml: When your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes, well, you took me to hell too

loml: What we thought was for all time was momentary

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: And I don’t even want you back, I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal

Clara Bow: It’s hell on earth to be heavenly

imgonnagetyouback: Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same

The Albatross: The devil that you know looks now more like an angel

The Prophecy: I guess a lesser woman would’ve lost hope, a greater woman wouldn’t beg

Cassandra: When it’s “burn the bitch,” they’re shrieking, when the truth comes out, it’s quiet

The Manuscript: Looking backwards might be the only way to move forward

Other Songs written by Taylor

Beautiful Ghosts: Born into nothing, at least you have something

Beautiful Ghosts: Born into nothing, with them I have something, something to cling to

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: Give me something, oh, but you say nothing

I Heart ?: I’ll be fine if you just walk by but you had to talk about why you were wrong and I was right

I Heart ?: And now you ask about you and I, there’s no you and I

Only The Young: The game was rigged, the ref got tricked, the wrong ones think they’re right

Only The Young: They think that it’s over but it’s just begun

Renegade: There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway

You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can say goodbye and you can say hello

You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can laugh and cry

Official Alternate Releases

Vigilante Shit (Clean Version): I don’t start it but I can tell you how it ends

Vigilante Shit (Clean Version): She don’t start it but she can tell you how it ends

Cassandra (Clean Version): When its “burn the witch,” they’re shrieking, when the truth comes out it’s quiet

[verymuchimmortalcat]

Magic Induced Face Blindness

For Bio Dad! Bruce Wayne Month, Prompt: Take Your Kid To Work ao3 @maribat-bdbwm

The Justice League, simply put, was having a take your kid to work day. Less simply, they were holding an event for all the teenage superheroes. So not exactly a take your kid to work day but there weren’t exactly a large number who weren’t proteges of the Justice League.

Naturally, Ladybug had been invited.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng Wayne has not stopped freaking out about it since.

And not freaking out about it in the Chat Noir way, who’s been so excited that it’s all he talks about on patrol. Freaking out as in lying face down on her floor and cursing her family. Well, mostly her dad.

“Tikki, do you think if I fake cough in front of Chat Noir a few times and tell him I’m too sick to make it he’ll believe me.”

The kwami hums from where she’s settled in Marinette’s hair. “He’ll probably believe you if you’re convincing enough but is that really necessary? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Marinette scoffs. Really, Tikki should know better than to ask such a question. “I’ll walk into the watch tower and someone will immediately figure me out.”

In her one year of being Ladybug, Marinette has learnt that even her sweet kwami does not have infinite patience and Tikki’s exasperation is obvious in her tone when she says, “Marinette. Your identity is protected with magic.”

“The JL has magic users. And I’ve known most of these people most of my life. What if one of the idiots say something so dumb and I insult them and they figure it out and then Chat Noir knows my identity causing the end of the world.”

“Don’t insult them then.”

She scoffs again, “I can’t not insult them. When have you ever not insulted Plagg?”

The ensuing silence speaks for itself but Tikki doesn’t let it go. “You should go. It’ll be good to talk to heroes other than Chat Noir and temporary holders.”

She groans. Maybe if she lies here long enough the carpet will swallow her up and then Tikki can stop trying to convince her to go. “I have most of their numbers, I can talk to them whenever I want. I do talk to them whenever I want.”

The weight on her head vanishes and she feels a poke on her forehead. Lifting her head up, she glares at the tiny goddess of luck, who glares right back. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. None of them know you’re Ladybug.”

She drops her back down to the floor and sighs. “Fine. I’ll go.”

.oOo.

Wonder Woman waves them over when she sees them enter. As the two of them make their way through the crowd, Ladybug keeps her eyes on the floor while Chat Noir’s head swivels around trying to take it all in. What an odd pair they must make.

“Robin looks like an angry kitten,” her partner comments, breaking her out her reverie.

She coughs to hide her laughter. He’s right, of course. But regardless she turns to look at Damian, who’s sulking in the corner while Jon pesters him.

She grins, “I’d kill to watch you tell him that.”

He glances at her and snorts, “Not a chance. Not with that expression on your face.”

She blinks at him, “What expression?”

“The same one you had before you threw me off the Eiffel Tower for going on about the Justice League heroes.”

She smiles at the memory, “You totally deserved it.”

He holds a hand  up to his chest, as dramatic as always, “Meowch!”

She giggles. Diana is only few steps away from them now and is looking at them with an amused expression. Smiling comes slightly easier now, a chunk of her anxiety taken away by her partner’s antics. She whispers a thanks to him before greeting Wonder Woman.

.oOo.

If Diana suspects anything, she doesn’t mention it, nor do any of the others they talk to. But they haven’t had the chance to talk to any of the bats yet. At least Dick and Jay aren’t here, they’d be the most unbearable.

“We should talk to Batgirl,” Chat Noir suggests.

Marinette freezes, magic or not Cass would be the most likely to see through her but she can’t think of a valid excuse and he’d already picked up on her earlier nervousness. If she continues being paranoid, he might start to suspect something.

“Sure,” she mutters.

He waves enthusiastically to Batgirl who offers a small smile. Her gaze lingers on Ladybug and Marinette desperately hopes Cass brushes off anything odd as general nervousness. Thankfully, Chat Noir carries much of their interaction.

He’s gesturing wildly when he accidentally hits her sister’s arm. The arm that Marinette knows was in a cast until last week. Cass doesn’t wince, of course she doesn’t but the concern bursts out of Marinette anyway. “Is your arm ok??”

Chat Noir looks confused but Batgirl is assessing her. It’s a moment before she says, “I’m fine.”

Marinette nods, simultaneously relieved and panicked. She should’ve stayed home. It’s not too late to fake sickness, after all she has been acting particularly odd. When Spoiler calls Batgirl away, Ladybug visibly relaxes. Chat Noir gives her an odd look but he doesn’t say anything. Yet. She’s sure by the time they finish talking to her entire family, he’s going to think she’s lost her mind.

.oOo.

She’s mostly calmed down after her slip up with Cass when they somehow end up talking to Jon and Damian. Well, it’s not exactly talking as much as Robin and Chat Noir antagonising each other. Jon looks torn between interrupting and watching it play out. Marinette on the other hand wishes she had a bucket of popcorn and a valid reason to record their exchange.

When Damian calls the Parisian superhero, “a mangy alley cat,” Marinette snorts out loud and says, “I thought you liked cats?”

Damian stares at her, she can see his hand inching towards his katana as he asks, “How would you know that?”

Play it cool, Marinette.

She shrugs, “You just seem like a cat person. Also, I vaguely remember reading something of the kind on twitter once.”

Both of them know most things about the Bats on social media are deleted almost as soon as Oracle can get to it but people still do see them. He relaxes slightly but Marinette knows he’s wary of her.

Really, why did she let Tikki talk her into this?

.oOo.

Sometime later, Bart finds her in a corner. She’d left Chat Noir saying she needed a break and she could see him as he was talking excitedly with Steph.

“Heydoyoumindansweringaquestionforustosettleanargument?” he asks pointing at the rest of what was once Young Justice (or rather the still active members). Holding back a smile, she considers it for a moment. How wrong could it go? Actually, knowing them any thing and everything that could go wrong would go wrong but her curiosity takes over. Tim’s friends have the most amusing arguments after all.

Bart is bouncing back and forth, waiting for her answer. When, she agrees, he cheers and drags her over to their little group. He doesn’t question how she caught what he was saying instantly or how she’s totally fine even after being carted off with super speed regardless of the distance.

Thankfully, Tim is too busy arguing with Kon to notice.

“I have a solution,” Bart announces, “We ask Ladybug to be the tie breaker.”

And because when they’re together they tend to act on a single functioning braincell, all four of them turn to her at once and Cassie asks, “Do you think having several backup fake identities is necessary?”

Ah, not a new argument then. Honestly, she does. She’s suddenly even more grateful that Chat Noir isn’t with her. “I mean you do need something to fall back on if your go to identity is accused of art theft.”

Tim doesn’t have time to register the jab at him before Kon and Cassie start to rejoice loudly and Marinette slips away before they can drag her into their next argument.

.oOo.

Back in her room, after the event, Marinette sighs. “Well, that was interesting.” Her conversations with the others had gone perfectly well. It was extremely likely that Chat Noir wouldn’t dwell on her mistakes with Batgirl and Robin, and he hadn’t been there when she spoke to Tim. Regardless, she’s never doing that again. Chat Noir can go alone.

Her phone rings and she answers the video call to see a bunch of worried faces.

“Is something wrong?”

“You need to look into Ladybug,” her father states. 

She frowns, “Why?”

“It’s possible Ladybug knows our identities and is a threat.”

Her jaw drops, “What?” 

Marinette remains in semi shock throughout Tim’s explanation. He ends with, “If you need help any of us would be glad to come.”

“Dibs on helping Nettie!” Steph calls finally snapping Marinette out of her shock. Damn, Tikki had been right about the magic. World’s greatest detectives and this was the conclusion they came to?

She glances at Tikki once, making sure she has the kwami’s support in this decision. When Tikki nods Marinette let’s herself laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

It also ends the argument ongoing on the other end of the call. All of them stare at her in confusion until she finishes laughing. Once she’s finally calmed down she asks, “ A room full of detectives and that’s the best you come up with?”

Her father frowns, “Marinette, what-”

“Did it not occur to any of you that I’m Ladybug?”

She bursts into laughter at their startled expressions. Hurrying to take a screenshot and making sure to send it to Babs.

She is so going to lord this over them for at least the next few years.

[chloepleasestopdying]

25 23 and 13 for choose violence game? :)

ship you've unwillingly come around to?

Honestly I don’t think I really have any for LiS… my ships have been pretty consistent ever since I played the game for the first time. I’d probably have to go with Victoria/Warren only because I read a fic with them as a side couple and it worked surprisingly well. I can’t said I ship it that hard tho

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Anything related to LiS 2. Just literally anything. I’m really tried of complaints about how people should like it more/ the only reason people wouldn’t play it is racism (despite the host of problems people had with it )

worst blorboficiation

Max gets blorboficiation a whole lot, as she ends up either being way softer or way harder than canon. It usually depends on if they think Chloe should be the bad ass or not. I love bad ass Max as much as the next person but she isn’t a time controlling assassin.

But the WORST is by far David. Far too many fics don’t want to get into that mess and just kinda leave him around the edges of their fics and while I understand that (as I do think David is a character can be decent if handled very very carefully) it does get on my nerves when he’s giving Chloe really good Christmas gifts out of the blue or is Chloe’s generic cop step dad.

Wait: and also Joyce. She’s always the suffering sweet southern mom and it bugs the hell out of me that Chloe never gets to make the incredibly valid point that Joyce is dating a dude that literally hits Chloe. Like he does that in canon and no one seems to place much blame on Joyce despite that she completely ignores how bad David is until it affects her own privacy.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers CHAOS LINEAGE ー Laito [Labyrinth Ending]

ー The scene starts inside a mysterious chamber

*Rustle*

Laito: ...Uu...

( ...I’m alive...? I could have sworn I died after falling from that cliff... )

( Also...Where am I...? )

Uu...Cough, cough...What is...this stench...?

( The intense, nauseating smell of blood...For starters, I should get up and get a feel of the situaーー )

*Thud* 

Laito: Eh? ...What’s...this...? Ayato-kun? Kanato-kun...? 

( They’re all bleeding...and dead...? Don’t tell me, did they die during the fight over there...? )

( Right! Where is she!? I don’t see her anywhere...! )

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall

Laito: ( I didn’t think I’d find myself back at this Castle...Seems like I safely made it out of that cage. )

( But it doesn’t seem like anyone else’s around. I can’t even smell her... )

Hey, Yui-chan! Where are you!?

Answer me, please!!

( It’s no use, she’s not here either...But everyone came back to this Castle. )

( She must surely be somewhere as well...! )

ー Laito starts running around, looking for Yui

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the outside of Eden

Laito: Hey! Where are you!? Show yourself!

( Dammit! I can’t believe she’s not outside either. Are there any places left where I haven’t looked...? )

ー He continues running

Monologue

In what followed,

I found myself running around, looking for her like a madman.

However, no matter where or how long I searched,

she was nowhere to be found.

Every time the worst case scenario flashed through my head,

I desperately tried to shake off those thoughts.

ーー It’ll be okay. She’s alive. 

Repeatedly telling myself so.

I frantically dashed through the Castle,

searching solely for herーー 

ー The scene shifts to the flower garden

Laito: Hey...Where are you...? I’m begging you, show yourself...

ー Laito spots her in the distance

Yui: ...

Laito: ( Eh...? Could that be...? )

Yui: ...

Laito: ( It wasn’t my eyes playing tricks on me! Thank god. She is alive... )

ー Laito walks up to her

Laito: Yui-chan! You’re safe and sound...!

Yui: ...

Laito: ...What’s wrong? Hey? Are you injured? Do you feel sick? 

Why...? Why are you looking at me like that...?

ー Karlheinz arrives to the scene

Karlheinz: ...The love which almost came to fruition between Adam and Eve. Rotted and faded away instead. (1)

Laito: ...!? Why are you here...? You rarely ever show up otherwise. 

Could you get away from her, please? She’s mine.

Karlheinz: Laito. You are no longer qualified to become Adam.

Laito: ...What are you talking about...?

Karlheinz: That place was a space crafted through magic. A cut off World which could not be influenced by outer forces.

By leaving that place, you surpassed space. 

Laito...You let go of Eve’s hand, did you not?

Laito: ...W-Well...Back then...

Karlheinz: When leaving the area, she fell into a crack of space.

She wandered there all alone. In that place where time nor space exist.

While it may have only seemed like a couple of seconds to you, she had to endure several decades of living in solitude. There is no way a human’s mind could endure that.

Laito: Don’t tell me...Her mind broke...?

Yui: Laito-kun...?

Laito: ...! You know who I am!?

Yui: Hey, why? Why did you...let go of my hand...back then...?

Laito: ...Eh...?

Yui: ...I trusted you...

Karlheinz: When I found her caught in one of the gaps of the space continuum of space, it was already too late.

Can you imagine just how hopeless she felt after the man she loved let go of her?

Her heart no longer lies with you.

Laito: No way...

Yui: ...

Laito: Hey...I care about you more than anyone else, you know?

Didn’t I tell you that I love you more than anything...and that I want to be together...?

Yui: ...

Laito: Please. It doesn’t matter what you say, just speak to me?

Smile at me like you always would...Hey, Yui-chan!

Yui: ...

Laito: Hah...Haha...Excuse me...? You no longer...

( She will no longer...give me her love... )

Karlheinz: You brought this upon yourself. ...Let us go, Eve.

Yui: Yes...Karlheinz-sama.

ー Yui leaves with Karlheinz

Laito: Why are you going with him? Even though we promised to be together forever...

Even though...I still love you...so very deeply...

( If only I hadn’t let go of her hand back then...If I had done everything to prevent getting separated from her... )

Aah...Aaaah!!

*SCENE SHIFT*

Karlheinz: So this is how it ends for Adam and Eve...huh?

Seems like my plan failed once againーー

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) In the original Japanese dialogue, he speaks of a fruit which almost ripened. Since the expression ‘love comes to fruition’ exists in English, I thought this would be a fitting way to translate it. 

[oneeyedoctogod]

It’s been once month since you’re gone. Dead. Reduced to nothing but ashes and memories.

Grieving is weird.

For so long, I expected the breakdown. I was waiting for it, wary, both because of the way grief is portrayed in media and because of my own history.

It’s like when you’re outside in the winter. You feel the cold creeping in, seeping into your clothes, your fingers, your nose, your ears, your lungs. And it’s bearable at first; There’s some sun around you, protecting you. Not much wind. And you have your clothes, keeping you warm.

I felt almost okay, like I could go on. I felt strong and thought oh, this isn’t so bad? Maybe I can keep going. Maybe I’m weird in that way too and I’ll cope better than I thought.

It comes all the same. The sun goes down and night replaces it; your clothes can’t protect all of you; the wind picks up.

And I realized, ah, I’m standing on a lake covered in ice, and the ice is creaking and breaking and soon enough, I will fall in the lake and then nothing will protect me anymore.

(Is it still drowning if you’re the one holding your breath?)

I’m so tired. It’s that kind of tired that’s like a blanket over your brain, your head, your every single thought.

It whispers at night, my brain.

It lies and cajoles and tells me: are you even worth it? Why are you still here when your dad isn’t? Why did it take him and not you? Why are you still here?

Is it really worth it, to keep going?

I know those thoughts, I’ve had them on and off for, gods, 17 years by now. I can fight them off, for now. Took two pills to keep the breakdown at bay and another to sleep at night.

Two months ago, I was thinking boy am I glad to have survived. I wish so fucking hard it was still true. In my best moments, I know it is. I know my brain is lying, that the intrusive thoughts, and the self-harm and the suicidal ideation, that all of that is because I’m sick and grieving and that it’s going to get better. It did, once, twice, again and again and again.

(What’s that tumblr post again? Hope isn’t nice, it’s getting up again, blood on her knuckles, spitting out a tooth and getting ready for another round? Something like that. I don’t know how true it is, but I sure am bleeding for it.)

But I still look at my arms and want to (did) carve them up, I want to take a shard of glass and slit my throat, I want to go the train station or to the highest building in town, or a bridge or wherever else and jump. I want to swallow all my pills in one go and never wake up again. I want to slap myself and tear out my hair and — I want it all to stop. The pain, the grief, my whole goddamn existence.

I’m so tired.

You know what the worst part of it all is? It’s not the guilt, though that’s fairly high on the list too — that terrible, terrible guilt that’s eating at me because here fucking we go again, I’m going to worry all my loved ones, I’m going to be a burden again, I should just keep smiling and pretending everything is alright even if it’s not because at some point, any point, it’s going to become too much. I’m going to become too much.

(I remember my mother at twelve years old, telling me can’t you smile for once? Yet the guilt isn’t the worst part.

The worst part is that I can’t talk to you about it. I can’t call you or message you. I can’t tell you: “hey my therapist asked me how I felt about going back on meds again.” “hey I wonder if I’ll be hospitalized again and for how long this time.” “hey will I ever be okay?”

(I was right when I said mom would be back to her usual shenanigans) (I wish you were still here so I could bitch to you about it; I’m sure you would have a lot of things to say about her behavior) (I’m still shaking with rage, I want to scream so bad, I want to cut all contact with her and never have to see her again and I can’t and it kills me) (I remember you telling me that once, in a fit of rage, she broke your favorite camera. An expensive one and that you held dear.) (If I tell her what I think of her, what’s to stop her from doing the same to the rest of your stuff? What’s to stop her from leaving me to deal with everything alone? I depend on her so much, I need her and I hate, hate, hate, hate it)

It’s been a month and even if I know you’d hate it, I still wish death had taken me instead of you. I’m sorry.

But that’s easy to say. And you wouldn’t want that. So I keep seeing friends and talking and taking the meds and seeing a thousand doctors and maybe I’ll have to go back to the hospital but whatever it takes. You would want me to live so that’s what I’m going to do. One painful step at a time.

Two months ago I thought boy, am I glad to have survived.

So let’s try to get to that again.

[bilightningwhumper]

Mangst 2024- Day 14

<<Previous . Masterlist . Next>>

Missed Shot (Robin Hood) Masterlist

“I crossed a line, and I can never go back.”

Summary:

Robin telling Isaac how she was sent to the Institution Potential spoiler excerpt from "Missed Shot"

Notes:

Warnings: mention of spousal abuse, mention of murder, sick whumpee Characters: Robin- Robin Hood Isaac- Beast

Robin’s POV

Groggily, Robin opened her eyes. Ruts were the worst, even without this illness filling her veins.

Knocking on the door kept her from falling back asleep again.

So she got up, groaning and cursing whoever decided now was a good time to visit. Once she got to the door, she stopped to sniff, but her senses were all over the place.

“It’s Isaac.” his voice came muffled through the door.

She opened it only to be met with only barely hidden concern. Sighing, she muttered, “I’m just sick, not dying.” But she waved him in anyway before flopping back onto the bed, arm across her eyes, the light now bothering her. She’d forgotten to turn off the light before her nap and now regretted it.

“You’ve been getting sick more often, Rob.” he said softly, sitting on the bed next to her.

That was the one of the things she appreciated about Isaac. He wasn’t loud. Not that she minded the rest of their secret pack. She just appreciated a moment of peace.

A gentle nudge in her side. “Rob? You fall asleep on me?”

She grimaced under her arm. “I’ll be okay. This just comes with my ruts.”

“But it’s been getting worse, hasn’t it?”

Swallowing hard, she couldn’t refute that. She been avoiding any omegas during her ruts on purpose. Even if it may help, any pup she’d sire would inherit this. Better the illness died with her.

“It’s nothing.” she lied. “Just a genetic thing. You don’t have to worry it.” A half-truth, anyway.

The bed shifted under Isaac’s weight. “Have the staff reached out to your mom? It it’s giving you problems, then-”

“No.”

Even with her muffled awareness, she knew her sharpness hurt Isaac.

“Sorry, I just… With my mom… I crossed a line and I can’t ever go back. Even if they call her, she wouldn’t help me.”

Isaac didn’t answer, just rubbed her arm gently. Another thing she appreciated about the other alpha. No prying. Even still, he deserved the truth, at least some of it.

“I killed my stepfather.” she confessed. “He was hurting my mom. Beating on her when I wasn’t around. She tried to hide it from me, but there’s only so much you can hide something like that. I didn’t mean to do it. It just got to be too much. He pushed her, so I pushed him away, and…” A lump formed in her throat. “Either way, Mom always defended him, no matter what. So even though it was an accident…”

“She blamed you anyway.” Isaac finished for her.

“Yeah.” She laughed morosely. “And now I’m here with no change of freedom because who wants an alpha that’s committed murder.”

They fell into silence again. That is until a wave of pain hit Robin again, more painful than the last, and she hissed between her teeth, pressing down on her abdomen with her free hand.

“What can I do to help?”

“Unfortunately, nothing.” She moved her arm off her eyes, halfheartedly smiling up at him. “I think I’m just going to try and keep sleeping it off, if that’s alright with out.”

He looked at her for a while before answering, emotionless and hard to read like he often was. Then he nodded and said, “Just don’t die on me, or the others will have my head.”

Robin snorted, smiling more genuinely. “I’ll be fine. Now go.” She shoved at his leg playfully.

He nodded again before getting up and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

Once he was gone, she let out a sigh of relief mixed with exhaustion. Reaching to turn off the light, she curled back up under the covers, falling back into a fitful sleep.

[aajjks]

TC!dad!JK

your eyes widen, “aww ji-eun is sick? my poor baby” you coo while rubbing your swollen belly and just before you can go check on her jungkook reveals to you that you can’t go see her.

“excuse me? what do you mean i can’t go see her? are they forgetting this isn’t my first rodeo with a virus? remember when jawon got the flu? guess who was there? i was! if it’s a small viral infection why can’t i—“

you’re sure jungkook understands where you’re coming from. you take being a mother to all seven and soon eight, of your children very seriously. when all of your kids had small colds and scratchy throats, you were there with medicines and vitamins to help them feel better. you even got sick because of them plenty of times but that’s what makes you a mother.

but, jungkook cuts your rambling off to question you about a ‘minjun,’ how he’s your best friend, and how this information came from ayra. the same girl that just told her father that she wants three more sisters, like hell you’re giving her that but when you look at the man in front of you, she just might get four more.

“jungkook, what are you talking about?” you laugh and judging from his pout and mini tantrum, he resembles ae-cha and ji-eun so much, especially when ae-cha was younger. your polite teenage daughter who definitely puts the ‘p’ in princess.

“ohhh, minjun! that’s a family friend. it’s been so long since i’ve seen him” you think aloud “remember when i took the kids back to gaegyeong? i introduced him to jinseoul and ae-cha and he looks after them when they go up there from time to time. he’s known me since i was just a little toddler…him and my mother were really close before…before she died”

now that you think about it, you don’t talk about your mother as much as you used to. back then, being with your mother was all you cared about and when your father got killed, it cut deep because you were all alone. you used to feel so guilty about having feelings for jungkook but look at you now? you’re happier than ever, blessed with an empire of children, and head over heels for your husband. you’re happy everything worked out in the end even if it is a bit taboo.

you sigh “you are my everything, hun. you’re my lover, my husband, all of that” you lean over and press a kiss on jungkook’s cheek.

“i don’t know about you being my best friend though…” you tease “he’s known me since forever. he might love me a little more than you do”

~🫧

You’re an evil evil person. Jungkook doesn’t feel better at all with your reassurance because he’s not even sure if you are reassuring him or making his blood pressure rise.

What do you mean that he loves you more than the father of your children? Jungkook gives you side eye because your kiss has no effect. “what the fuck do you mean that he loves you more than me no one can love you more than me and that’s a fact.” He shakes his head. “Yn… you’re an evil person because of you i am remembering my childhood friend.”

It is his turn to return the favor. Jungkook laughs to himself internally because your reaction is going to be so amazing. And what he’s about to say, it’s not really a lie that he’s made up.

But a few little details just might be.

“I.. you have a friend too you know… she was the girl with the hazel eyes and brown hair. I lied about her being a consort because I was just teasing you then but now that you’ve made me remember her I couldn’t remember her name that day… her name is..” sadly he sighs, “Park Yeonjin.” he smiles.

“she was my best friend when I was 11 to 15 years old… Her brother used to be my friend, but then we became friends, because.. she was annoying, but she knew how to handle someone like me because I had the worst temper as a teenager”

Oh, does it hurt? It does hurt doesn’t it?

“but then we drifted apart because I had my duties and… I wonder what she is doing now.. I’m kind of missing her now” he pouts.

“she was one of the first women to not treat me like I was special.. we had good times..” he looks at you, biting the inside of his cheek.

“just like I’m sure you had with your dear minjun.”

He feels so sick just even saying his name.

[ask-chef-teruteru]

i have generalized anxiety disorder and most times it’s really hard to believe the things people tell me. typically when im doubting things and people reassure me. do you have any advice? i try to stay optimistic,

“My apologies, hon, I just wanna be on the same page here— do y’all mean doubtin’ things in terms o’ self doubts, or somethin’ else? Is there somethin’ specific y’all tend t’ need reassurances on?

I ain’t no expert, I don’t got a formal diagnosis or nothin’ like that, but it’s fair to say I struggle a lil’ bit with anxiety sometimes too, so I s’pose I can tell y’all some things that work for me?

Used to be worse when I was younger— ‘fore I won a few competitions, got my ultimate title— back when the diner was strugglin’ financially n’ it felt like everything was goin’ wrong all the time all at once. Would get myself all in a tizzy, would start off worryin’ over one lil’ thing that’d snowball into another thing n’ another n’ another ‘til pretty soon I was a mess n’ needed help calmin’ down.

'I wasn’t feelin’ too confident on that last dish, it didn’t look as pretty as it did last time I made it. What if it didn’t look right cause I made it wrong? What if it was burnt or I forgot an ingredient or it was underdone? What if the person who ordered it’s a renowned critic n’ I blew our chances o’ ever doin’ any better? What if that critic doesn’t like the food cause I screwed up and writes an awful review and nobody ever comes back? How will we live? The diner’ll go under if we don’t get no customers, we won’t have no money to live, Mama won’t have no more money for medicine, what if Mama gets worse? What if we lose the diner’n that stress gets t’be too much for her? What if she hates me for it? It would be all my fault!'

I’m panickin’ picturin’ myself livin’ on the street n’ Mama in an early grave n’ hatin’ me with her last breath, n’ ain’t nothin’ ever even happened, mind you. Weren’t no complaints ‘bout the food, opposite in fact, n’ me worryin’ myself sick didn’t do no good.

O’course sometimes things do happen that don’t go good, but anxiety makes mountains o’ mole hills. Situations where y’all got the time to worry ‘bout somethin’ bad happenin’ ain’t usually gonna end with the worst possible outcome. Really though, even the times when it feels like things couldn’t get no worse, life still goes on. Always sounds like an eye roller of a thing t’ say, but it’s true. If ya screw something up for real n’ it ain’t all just nerves, things won’t always be just as bleak’s they feel at that exact moment. It’s hard to get outta your own head, but y’all really gotta try to take a step back, try to rationalize, think about it from somebody else’s perspective.

Next time you’re feelin’ anxious ‘bout somethin’ y’all did, try thinkin’ ‘bout how you’d feel if somebody else had done it. If Mama’d made a dish that weren’t good n’ we got a bad review from somebody important n’ it meant financial ruin, I still wouldn’t have started hatin’ her or worryin’ ‘bout how to go on— it woulda just been a bad thing that happened that we’d learn t’ live with, y’know?

Ya gotta not be your own worst critic n’ gotta not assume people’re just tellin’ y’all sweet lies when they’re try’na reassure y’all. A lot o’ things you’re anxious about aren’t gonna cross other people’s minds ever again. That time y’all answered a question wrong n’ only realized it once the person walked off n’ there was no good opportunity to correct yourself? Moment’s passed, that person would probably just go 'oh okay' if y’all told them later. Ever waved at somebody cause you thought they was wavin’ at you but they were actually wavin’ at somebody behind you? Now that person just thinks you’re friendly cause you’d wave back if they waved at ‘em first.”

“I feel like I’ve gone on a while now and I don’t actually know how on the mark I am with any o’ that, so please don’t hesitate to talk to me again n’ follow up if I weren’t helpful, so I s’pose I’ll leave it at that for now. I hope I’ll hear from y’all soon!”

[paandaan]

“But she doesn’t count and you know it.” Winston took the lighter off the coffee table and lit his cigarette.

“She’s got to count a hell of a lot if you’re marrying her.” David looked out the living-room window with his hands wedged deeply into his jeans pockets.

“Why?” Winston blew the smoke noisily between his tight jaws. “She wanted a husband—I needed a wife. It’s straight out of a soap opera. And they lived happily ever after until the next floor-wax commercial.”

David shook his head slowly. “If that’s your attitude, then I feel sorry for that girl. She’s got some life waiting for her.”

“What other attitude am I supposed to have?” He savagely crushed the freshly lit cigarette into the tray. “I didn’t want this—they did. And I’d think you’d save a little of that pity you’re so generous with for me. What kind of life am I gonna have, goddammit!”

“It’s the kind you want, Winston.”

“That’s a lie."

[...]

“Then if it’s a lie, son, I guess you’ll be thinking about marriage soon.” Mr. Alcott narrowed his eyes as he spoke, and he tapped the envelope in his hand gently on the top of his desk. “I assume you’re seeing someone now. A young man with your looks and future must be beating them off with a stick.” He smiled slowly.

“Sure, I date a lot.” Winston’s throat was dry. “But I don’t see any need to rush into something serious. For God’s sake, I’m only thirty, Dad.”

“Well, I’d already had two children by the time I was your age.” He continued to stare at his son.

“The world’s a lot different now.” Winston hated the tone creeping into his voice; it was too defensive. And in spite of the air-conditioning in the office, he felt himself sweating. “Some men aren’t settling down until their forties. I figured once I’m thirty-five or so I’d start thinking about it. By then my career should be—”

“By then …” Mr. Alcott’s voice suddenly shed its soft covering. “You might not have a career. Whoever sent me this letter threatened to send one to the senior partner in your firm. And they said that the next one would be accompanied by pictures.”

“Pictures of what?” Winston leaned forward in his chair. “Of me having lunch with David? Of us walking down the street or sailing out at the lake? Those are the only type of pictures that anyone could have. And they can send them to be printed up in the damn newspaper for all I care.” He was horrified because he couldn’t control the rising hysteria in his voice. “Or maybe that sick creep will clip out the picture from our college yearbook, where David has his arm across my shoulder at graduation—yeah, that’s certainly hard-core evidence to condemn me with.”

“It just might be.” Mr. Alcott frowned at the envelope in his hand. “Remember who you are and where you are. A law firm like Farragut and Conway would kick you out tomorrow if you sneezed wrong. So do you think a black man can afford to have these types of rumors hanging over his head?”

“I’m telling you, they’re a lot of filthy lies.” Winston was trembling visibly. “But if you want to believe them, go ahead.”

“Lies or not”—Mr. Alcott came from around the desk and put his hand on Winston’s shoulder—“filthy or not”—he squeezed the narrow back—“they’ll make you hang for it, son. I didn’t invent this world, Winston. But I broke my ass so you and your brother could have it a lot easier than I did. And you’ve done me proud. Your life’s barely begun and you’re already living in Linden Hills. I could never dream of that when I was your age. Sure, worse comes to worst, you could come here and work for me. But in ten years, twenty years, would you be happy as a lousy insurance broker? You’re brilliant, boy. Don’t throw away a chance to be a corporate lawyer with a firm like that because of … well, because you’re young and can’t really see what it might mean later. And since you say you’re planning to think about marriage, now is as good a time as any, isn’t it?”

There was a long silence.

“Well, isn’t it?” Mr. Alcott repeated himself, but Winston knew it was no longer an open question. It was a final challenge to confirm or deny that letter.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Good.” Mr. Alcott patted his back. “No one’s asking you to rush out and marry the first woman you see outside today. But mull it over and I think, with all things considered, you’ll realize that it’s the kind of life you want, Winston.”

[...]

“If it’s not the life you really want”—David turned away from the living-room window—“remember, I offered you another.” And his round, brown eyes melted slowly into his words. They melted for Winston like the mist on his steamed bathroom mirror as he stood before it clean and wet with the memory of the hot, beaded water still caressing his back and shoulders. And him reaching out with his hand to clear it away—first from the face that stared back so like his own. The firm even jaw, the damp wiry beard that could be traced down into the chest if he were careful and gentle enough to move aside the stray hairs that grew into the smooth plane of the neck. The mist sliding down the neck toward the chest under his slowly circling hand, revealing the silvery image of his waist, his hips, his lean and woven thighs. The wetness slipping across the sweating glass over the fine down on the testicles and collecting there like crystal welts. Palm following palm, breath meeting breath through the blurred mirror—complete.

Winston tore his eyes from David’s face and they followed his voice into his hands. “I can’t live with you. Not in Linden Hills. That would be suicide, and you know it.”

“There are other places to live.”

“Not like this—and my future is here. My career …”

“Fine!” David threw up his hands. “I don’t need a thousand replays of that tune—I’ve heard it all before. I understand where you’re coming from, believe me. And all this new development means is that you’ve chosen to live without me. It’s really sort of simple, isn’t it?”

Winston looked up at him with narrowing eyes. “Why are you doing this to me? We’ve been through so much together. Why do you want to try and hurt me now? You know she can’t touch what we have between us. If you really understood, you wouldn’t be standing there trying to make me choose when there’s really no choice about it.”

“For Christ’s sake!” David’s fist came down on the windowsill. “No one is making you do anything. You have chosen, brother. So just act like a man and admit it. Have enough backbone for once in your life to accept responsibility for what you really want. Not your father, not your law firm—you, Winston. Because I’m man enough to know what I want. And it’s not playing second fiddle in anybody’s life.”

“So because I have to do this, you’re telling me that it’s over.”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t believe you.” Winston shook his head. “I don’t believe that you can turn your back on eight years just like that. People don’t give up friends that way.”

“Sure, we can still be friends. And as your best friend, I’m standing up with you as your best man next week, aren’t I? It would look sort of strange if I didn’t. But that’s not what we’re talking about now, so don’t play games with me.”

Winston looked down into his hands again. No, that’s not what they were talking about. And they weren’t even talking about remaining lovers; they had moved beyond that years ago. Because when two people still held on like he and David, after all the illusions had died, and accepted the other’s lacks and ugliness and irritating rhythms—when they had known the joys of a communion that far outstripped the flesh—they could hardly just be lovers. No, this man gave him his center, but the world had given him no words—and ultimately no way—with which to cherish that. He smiled bitterly and looked up. “Don’t you see what I’m up against? How am I going to live with you when they haven’t even made up the right words for what we are to each other?”

“Oh, they’ve made up plenty of words and you can read them on any public bathroom wall. And that’s what you can’t face. You want the world to turn inside out and make up a nice, neat title that you can put on your desk. And that’s not about to happen. You can’t handle anything less than that because you’re a made man, Winston. They made you a good son, a promising young lawyer, and now they’ve made you ashamed of what you are. You can go ahead and run from it. But don’t expect me to run with you.”

“I’m not running from anything.” Winston forced his voice through his closing throat. “I’ve accepted that I can’t live without you. And I’ve been trying to tell you that all afternoon in every way I can. Do you want to make me beg now, is that it?”

David sighed and went over to the couch and lifted Winston’s face gently. “The only thing I want you to do is finally to try and start making yourself. Make yourself happy with that girl—please, do that.” He took his hand away. “Because she’s all you’ve got now.”

Winston’s face slowly crumbled and he reached for a cigarette, but his hands were trembling so badly he brought them back to his lap ashamed.

David watched him with a sharp tenderness in his stomach, and before he could stop the words, they burst out of his mouth. “But you remember, I was willing to do anything for you.”

Winston’s smile was almost cruel. “You can’t walk into Sinai Baptist next week and marry me.”

David pressed his lips together as if he’d been slapped.

“Right.” He nodded his head slowly. “You got me there. And since I can’t be your wife, I won’t be your whore.”

Linden Hills, Gloria Naylor

[atyd1960]

Marauders era characters and ships as SOUR songs with little to no explanation cause I’m not at all concerningly obsessed w Olivia!!

Brutal as Peter

- I already said on multiple occasions that I think Peter would be Olivia’s n.1 fan

- I’m so insecure I think, that I’ll die before I drink

- I don’t stick up for myself, I’m anxious and nothing can help

- All I did was try my best, this the kinda thanks I get?

Traitor as Crystalflower/Azkaban Wolfstar

- continuing with the Peter is an OR fan narrative thanks to @rmoony01 hehe

- Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

- Loved you at your worst, but that didn’t matter

- Ain’t it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?

- God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.

Driver’s License as post break-up Jegulus (Regulus’ PoV)

- You’re probably with that blonde (redhead) girl who always made me doubt, she’s so much older than me, she’s everything I’m insecure about

- You said forever, now I drive alone past your street

- Today I drove through the suburbs, and pictured I was driving home to you

- Can’t drive past the places we used to go to, cause I still fucking love you, babe!

- I kinda wanna quote every single line but I’ll stop here:(

1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back as 5th year ATYD Wolfstar (specific I know)

- You got me fucked up in the head boy, never doubted myself so much

- Am I pretty am I fun boy? I hate that I give you power over that kinda stuff

- I’d leave you but the rollercoaster’s all I ever had

Good 4 u as Post breakup Marylily (Mary’s PoV)

[They broke up even tho they were in love bc Mary had a lot of internalised homophobia&religious trauma that Lily didn’t really know how to handle]

- Well good for you I guess you moved on really easily, you found a new girl (guy) and it only took a couple weeks

- Now you can be a better man (girl) for your brand new girl (man)

- G4U, you look happy and healthy- not me! If you ever cared to ask

- Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you? Well screw that! And screw you!

Enough For You as Grant

- I don’t usually talk about Grant but like… my boy just wanted Remus to love him the way he always loved Remus and meanwhile Remus was 2 busy being traumatized by his ex and it makes me so sad

- I wore makeup when we dated cause I thought you’d like me more if I looked like the other prom queens I know that you loved before

- Tried so hard to be everything that you liked, just for you to say you’re not the compliment type

- I knew how you took your coffee and your favorite songs by heart

- I read all of your self help books so you’d think that I was smart

- But don’t tell me you’re sorry, boy, feel sorry for yourself, cause someday I’ll be everything to somebody else

[gonna go cry now xoxoxo]

Jealousy, Jealousy as Marlene

- I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room, cause all I see are girls too good to be true

- I know their beauty’s not my lack, but it feels like that weight is on my back, and I can’t let it go

- I’m so sick of myself

- I see everyone getting all the things I want and I’m happy for them but then again I’m not

- Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend too, I wanna be you so bad

Favorite Crime as post prank Wolfstar

- Doe eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody

- The things I did just so I could call you mine, the things you did… well I hope I was your favorite crime

- I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

- everything we broke and all the trouble that we made, but I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Hope ur ok as all the Marauders!

- Nothing’s forever, nothing’s as good as it seems

- When the clouds won’t iron out and the monsters creep into your house and every door is hard to close… well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred, but, god, I hope that you’re happier today- cause I love you, and I hope that you’re ok.