#decades-long seething jealousy and bitterness over losing aimee-leigh to eli gemstone

[villainesses]

you’ll always be my favorite ghost, a baby billy freeman mix for his beautiful, fantasy aimee-leigh

→ listen on spotify, selected lyrics under the cut

part one

i. my favourite faded fantasy ‣ you could hold the secrets that save me from myself / i could love you more than love could all the way from hell / you could be my poison, my cross, my razor blade / i could love you more than life / if i wasn’t so afraid

ii. tonight you belong to me ‣ i know (i know) you belong to somebody new / but tonight you belong to me / although (although) we’re apart / you’re a part of my heart / and tonight you belong to me

iii. babe, you turn me on ‣ everything is falling, dear / everything is wrong / it’s just history repeating itself / and babe, you turn me on / like a light bulb, babe / like a song

iv. take it off ‣ in the back of my closet, there’s a yellow dress / the tag is still on it / won’t you give me a reason / to take it off?

v. limp ‣ but no matter what i try, you’ll beat me with your bitter lies / so call me crazy, hold me down, make me cry, get off now, baby / it won’t be long till you’ll be lying limp in your own hands

vi. i will always ‣ and when it all seems like a mistake / take whatever you need to take / leave the rest for my own sake / i will always go beside you / you will always understand it

vii. take me to church ‣ if the heavens ever did speak / she’s the last true mouthpiece / every sunday’s gettin’ more bleak / a fresh poison each week / we were born sick, you heard them say it

viii. lie to me ‣ and if there’s anything i learned that will keep me standing / if i take you at your word then i’m empty-handed / a tongue like yours should be burned and branded / so i can see you lie to me

ix. big god ‣ you know i still like you the most / the best of the best and the worst of the worst / well, you can never know the places that i go / i still like you the most / you’ll always be my favourite ghost

part two

i. 25th december ‣ and all of a sudden i’m stuck with an urge to unlock a door / with a key that’s too big for my hands / and i drop it, and it falls at your feet / come on, come on, it’s there at your feet

ii. feeling of falling ‣ it’s after midnight baby, i’m sittin’ here all alone / i tried to call your number baby / but you weren’t at home / i been a good girl baby, through with all that mess / but the way i’m feelin’ now, darlin’ / well it scares me half to death

iii. iris ‣ and i’d give up forever to touch you / ‘cause i know that you feel me somehow / you’re the closest to heaven that i’ll ever be / and i don’t wanna go home right now

iv. forget me not ‣ forget me not, my dear, my darling / forget me not, my love / i just wanna hold your hand / hang on every word you say / let’s write a song for us / and sing until we’re old and grey

v. like a river runs ‣ when i fall asleep, i can see your face / what i lost in you i will not replace / and i could run away, i could let them down / but i will remember your light / your light, it follows me in darkness

interlude: the ghost of aimee-leigh

vi. live in the dream ‣ ‘cause there’s a lot of people here who wanna do you harm / but stay with me, you fallen lamb / and i’ll keep you in my arms / but i can’t live in the dream / the dream lives in me

epilogue: free fallin’ ‣ i wanna glide down over mulholland / i wanna write her name in the sky / i’m gonna free fall out into nothin’ / gonna leave this world for a while