#the woman I was not born to be

[androgynealienfemme]

"San Francisco opened a dramatic new life chapter. I was still stuck with someone else's concept of gender-appropriate behavior, but the conventional path I'd been folllowing had suddenly made a sharp turn to the left. I was a drag queen. Correction! I was a celebrated, union-carded, female impersonating entertainer. I didn't like thinking of myself as a drag queen.

Drag queens have always gotten a bum rap. Always. Men in women's clothing create a sensation, and their detractors live on both sides of society's sexual barbed wire. Nowadays, possibly the most damning rap against drag comes from inside the gay and lesbian neighborhood- the very community that Stonewall helped create.

On Friday, June 27, 1969, Greenwich Village drag queens ignited the Gay Liberation movement when they united at the Stonewall Inn, stood their ground against New York City's police, and kicked law-enforcement ass with sequined pumps. Shortly after those first angry steps toward homosexual liberation, drag became the gay stigma. Many male homosexuals, terrified that mainstream society would believe all gay men wore dresses, began to shun the more outrageous drag members of the community. Many lesbians were equally repulsed by drag, feeling that what had once been considered chic now made a travesty of womankind. Acceptance in the homosexual community was soon measured by the degree to which its citizens met a heterosexual standard. I didn't realize it then, but I was as prejudiced as those against whom I railed. I used beauty as my yardstick. It was inconceivable to me that nonbeauties of ambiguous gender might also be "real women." I blushingly admit to having been so shallow. It is unfortunate that marginalized members of society often fight one another for any available crumb of acceptance. No one wants to live at the bottom of the social barrel."

“The Woman I Was Not Born To Be” by Aleshia Brevard (2001)

[tunemyart]

But regarding the way Rio revealed herself to Lilia

She didn't choose just any old guise, she chose tarot imagery. She chose something specific to Lilia and Lilia's own language as a witch. She didn't appear as Death - Rio is always Death. She appeared as the Death card. Something so soul-deep for Lilia that the recognition would be instantaneous and unquestionable.

I don't think this is Rio's usual garb. I think she has a lot of control over how she chooses to present, and I think most of the time she probably looks like Aubrey Plaza. She's just Rio. She's a woman. She's the oldest, original green witch. That just also happens to mean that she's Death.

[cherriestears]

real footage of me watching everyone in the AAA fandom use 'older woman' and/or 'older witch' to describe Agatha during her interactions with Rio in canon universe Agathario fics like Rio isn't literal Death and as old as the universe itself while Agatha is a mere 352 years compared to her and hence younger than her (thus not being the 'older woman' between the two of them):

#medialiteracyisDEAD

[womendeservehumanity]

When will women wake up? When will they stop with the incessant coping? That it’s just a few bad apples that hate women. The vast majority of men vehemently hate women. They show it both on and offline. More overtly online though. And the amount of likes for all of these posts (all of which are from gimmick accounts with 10-100k+ followers dedicated to hating women) shows that. Men do not see us as human beings. Straight men’s interest and attraction to women starts and end with sexual gratification. And there’s no reason to even explain this to other women as if it’s some hidden truth. They will literally tell you. They will get online and tell you they aren’t emotionally and romantically interested in women. That the concept of actually caring for and loving a woman is foreign to them. That you’re a sex doll and a set of holes to them.

Like who needs feminist theory to dissect all the ways in which misogyny manifests when it seems men are doing everything in their power to show women how much they fucking collectively hate us. Even blatantly regarding us as holes and sex dolls.

Also find it so interesting that these are tweets with millions of views but so called progressive twitter NEVER sees them or condemns them and instead opt to give attention to some random radfem with 300 followers saying men bad. THATS what’s a pressing issue to them. THATS proof that misandry is as prevalent and troublesome as misogyny meanwhile this is what women are subjected to.

[uncanny-tranny]

I don't care if somebody was "born a man" or "born a woman"

We were fucking born as babies, I frankly don't care what you were "born to be," so long as you are happy in the here and now. That's what matters more, not this bioessentialist "you're born this way, and nothing you do or say matters more than how you were born"

[laceykouture]

[hystericalangel]

[linkykirby]

I’m literally BEGGINGGGG for someone to write cho hyun ju x bratty!reader where she fucks the attitude out of them….like yeah we know she’s soft and gentle and patient and we love her for it but I lowkey need her to slap the shit out of me like she did to that shaman lady

[thecatsaesthetics]

The thing is, being a fan of House Targaryen is way more fun once you allow them to be the tyrannical villain/anti hero dynasty. Trying to justify everything these inbred silver hair purple eyed weridos did is so boring. Like nah those are my villains and I love that about them.

[androgynealienfemme]

"Legally, at that time, one was required to wear at least three-gender appropriate articles of clothing. Otherwise you were subject to arrest. Few heterosexuals were aware of the law. The archaic ruling was of major consequence only for the queens of the queer community. For my late-night forays, I generally wore two socks and a silky, if male, tank top under my very feminine slacks and top.

My outer garments had for years been very non-gender specific: velvet tops over stovepipe-cut slacks; oversized shirts over tight, tight jeans. I did not, however, hit the streets in cute little skirts and cashmere sweaters. I was conscious of the dress code and the fact that I was known to every cop on our block.

The city's finest were often found kibitzing with the owners at the club. In the years leading up to San Francisco's "gay-ola" scandal of the early 1960s, it was common practice for the owners of gay clubs to "grease" the legal system. Financial consideration in the right blue pockets allowed talented "fairies" to work and play without constant police harassment. The cops on Broadway knew who I was, and I knew them for what they were. Like everyone familiar with gay life, I carried a healthy fear of our law-enforcement officials. I played by the rules and only slightly bent the dictate that you arrive and exit the club... male.

"I know you think you're real, Girl," Stormy would fret, "But you're still almost six feet tall and bear a striking resemblance to that popular drag queen Lee Shaw. Don't think you're invisible to the police."

My friend was concerned for my safety, but her primary fear was not of the men with whom I danced at the Street of Paris. She knew how badly I would be treated if picked up by the police. I would be unceremoniously tossed into jail, if not worse."

“The Woman I Was Not Born To Be” by Aleshia Brevard (2001)

[thelaurenshippen]

okay, but, like, THAT'S how you do a villain story. in the FIRST scene, you watch him shoot a man in cold blood. the show tells you right away "this man is not a good man".

but then it gets you to sympathize - look at how much the world has stepped on him. look at how terrible the whole of gotham is. and even when he kills more people, does more terrible things, you still root for him. because it's fun to watch someone be terrible to terrible people. you root for sofia too, because if anyone deserves revenge its her, but you're rooting for both of them somehow.

and then the show tells you "when he was a boy he killed his brothers". but even still, you want to see what he'll do. the show is called the penguin, you want to see the penguin rise. when he lets his mother's finger almost get cut off, you pity him. he's a sad, broken thing. how could he be anything but bad? but he loves, so there must be something else there.

but then. but THEN

the show always told you: "this is the devil". but you thought, maybe the devil can make hell a little more bearable for some people. the devil is so often nuanced, sympathetic, complex. maybe he's like that.

you're wrong. there's nothing good within him and YOU rooted for him to succeed. you wanted to watch the destruction. and now you have to live with the consequences of thinking, even for a second, that he could be redeemed.

[thesmokinpossum]

If My Body Could Speak, Blythe Baird | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | My Father's House, Sylvia Fraser | To The Daughter Who Secretly Longs For Her Mother’s Affection, Lynne Shako | Storms from Jupiter, Wanda Deglane | DO NOT REPLY, @filmnoirsbian

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!

[thatgentlewife-deactivated]

Welcome to My Blog!

Hi there, lovely! I’m so glad you’re here. I’m a 20-year-old wife, homemaker, and most importantly, a servant of Jesus Christ. I was blessed to marry my wonderful husband in November 2024, and every day, I strive to honor God by embracing biblical womanhood, nurturing my marriage, and cultivating a home filled with love, warmth, and faith.

I believe in living a life that reflects God’s perfect design—one of gentleness, purity, and devotion. My heart is set on serving Christ first and foremost, and second to Him, my husband, whom I joyfully submit to as my leader and protector. I cherish the beauty of traditional values, which shape every part of my life—spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

What I Stand For

✨ The Sanctity of Life

This blog is pro-life, because every child is fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:13-16). Life begins at conception, and every baby has a God-given purpose. I believe in supporting women with love, resources, and guidance so that no mother feels alone in choosing life.

✨ The Dangers of Pornography

This blog is anti-porn, because pornography destroys hearts, marriages, and intimacy as God intended it. It turns real love into something selfish and empty, leading to addiction, shame, and broken relationships. I believe in fighting for purity and God-honoring relationships that reflect true, selfless love.

✨ Biblical Marriage & Submission

I believe in God’s design for marriage—a covenant between one man and one woman. As a wife, I embrace submission as a beautiful, biblical calling, trusting my husband’s leadership and honoring him in my words, actions, and heart. Love, respect, and obedience to God’s Word create a strong, joyful, and lasting marriage.

✨ Domestic Discipline

I believe that domestic discipline is a personal choice that should be made mutually and consensually between a husband and wife. While it’s not for everyone, I support a couple’s right to practice it if they believe it strengthens their marriage. When approached with love, respect, and biblical principles, it can provide structure, accountability, and deeper trust. As long as both spouses agree and it is done in a way that honors their relationship, I see it as a valid and beneficial dynamic for those who choose it.

✨ Biblical Womanhood & Femininity

I am passionate about biblical femininity, modesty, and creating a home that reflects Christ’s love. I believe true beauty isn’t just about how we look, but about having a gentle, quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). In a world that devalues womanhood, I strive to embrace my role as a wife and future mother with joy and grace.

✨ My Perspective on Feminism

I do not agree with today’s version of feminism, which rejects traditional femininity, submission, and the beauty of God’s design. However, I do believe women should have the right to vote and make choices for themselves. Women are not less valuable than men, but we are beautifully different, and our strengths should be celebrated rather than diminished by a culture that seeks to erase them.

✨ My Beliefs on Gender & Sexuality

I personally do not believe men can become women or that women can become men. I do not agree with the LGBTQ lifestyle, and you will not find me in support of it on this blog. However, I have nothing against those who choose to live this way—you are a valuable human being, just like the rest of us. My belief is simply that marriage was created by God to be between a biological man and a biological woman. If you disagree, this may not be the blog for you.

A Few Things About Me

• I love to cook! (I once dreamed of being a chef, but my heart is too tender for the food industry.)

• Children are my joy! I work in childcare and find so much fulfillment in nurturing little hearts.

• I love reading! (The Phantom Tollbooth is my favorite book!)

• I enjoy poetry, songwriting, and drawing. (I may not be the best artist, but I love creating beauty in every form!)

• I make soap, lotion, and tinctures as I learn more about natural living.

• I strive to be a good, submissive wife and grow in grace, patience, and humility every day.

Why I Started This Blog

Marriage is a journey, and I want to share mine with you—the joys, the lessons, and the ways God is shaping me into a better wife and homemaker. My goal is to encourage other women to embrace biblical womanhood, cherish their marriages, and build homes that reflect God’s love. ❤️

If you value faith, femininity, and the beauty of a God-centered life, you’re in the right place. I pray that this blog blesses and encourages you as we grow together in grace and truth.

With love,

thatgentlewife

[savorycannoli]

Can I talk about sugar for a second? Like all of the berzatto children are tragic and doomed by the narrative in their own right, but nat’s story means so such to me idk if I can even fully talk about it all. We see her relationship with her mom is strained at best, it seems like she’s the least favorite child, maybe BECAUSE of her existence as a woman.

And then we find out that her lifelong nickname is based off of a childhood mistake, her being overeager to help her family literally turned into a lifelong reminder of her fuck up. Is there anything more tragic?? A child wanting love but getting scorn?? And then it makes the flashback scene where she tries to add raisins in season 1 all the more upsetting because why did she add them?

“That’s how mom makes it.” she’s the only one that still follows their mom’s recipe. The reason? Could be anything. But I have no doubt in my mind if she DIDN’T add the raisins if Donna had been around she would’ve been ridiculed even more.

I have such a soft spot in my heart for girls and their complex relationships with their moms and motherhood, and it makes her scene with cicero in the car that much more impactful. When cicero says he would let his kids make more mistakes and not been as careful, i almost started crying. Nat has a nickname from her mistakes and it seems like in her mom’s eyes she’s nothing but mistakes. And then her uncle tells her that she’ll be a good mother and that it’s okay for kids to make mistakes, great, even.

I’m so happy nat is in a place where she’s happy and supported. She has a husband who deeply understands her family and doesn’t judge her for it, even making an effort to try and include Donna. I was kind of meh about pete before season 2, but it solidified for me that he’s so so good for nat and a great character. He is so excited to be a dad, he’s patient and kind with her and her family, and he doesn’t call her sugar.

She’s nat. And she’s allowed to make mistakes.

[the-owl-tree]

out of all the hollyleaf chapters, this one from outcast has always really stuck with me in the way it resonated in constantly being taught that finding a husband and settling down to have kids was an expectation or even a path to happiness. squirrelflight's response isn't to tell her that she doesn't have to have children, that she doesn't need to become a mother if she doesn't want to - instead it's to assure her that her "path is marked out" and "she can have kits and still return to the warrior's den". hollypaw's pov chapter comes after lionpaw's and jaypaw's, neither of which have to deal with these questions and struggles. i'd be curious to hear the author's intentions behind the scene- it's interesting characterization - one that resonated with me obviously - but it's so strange to see in a children's book, one by authors who at the very least hold milquetoast liberal politics, be unable to outright have their authority figure in the scene, the one whom the child readers are meant to look to as guidance, say "you don't need to have children if you don't want to, you're not any less for not wanting them" and instead don't acknowledge the idea of not having kits and instead try and say, albeit in a less blunt way, "you can still have babies and a career! you can find a way to have children and still pursue your goals!" which isn't the Good Message shit approach they think it is.

this isn't really meant to be an organized piece of analysis, i just wanted to revisit a scene that really stuck with me as a young kid struggling with my identity. surprisingly out of everything in po3, this is really what made me resonate with the idea of hollyleaf being a lesbian.