#the whole river/doctor thing is fucked up like the more you think about it the more youre like

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

it'd just be really nice to have a fucked up thasmin kiss to parallel with this

[quietwingsinthesky]

I think the nature of Clara haterism on Tumblr can’t be fully understood without the historical context of 2013. Namely that by the time of DW season 7b Moffat was widely hailed as The Bogeyman Of All Misogyny Ever. Clara was considered THE prototypical Shallow Moffat Girl, and she became a sort of figurehead for everything wrong with the show. (Bc everyone was maybe 14 and Smith was too beloved to insult.) Consequently, she evokes a kneejerk bad faith reading response in many users even today.

yeah, alright, i can see that. i am surprised that, at least as far as i’ve seen, amy & river don’t get the same treatment? or if they did, it hasn’t persisted half as long as opinions on clara have. Because having now seen how all three of them were written, amy got treated. so much worse with The Misogyny™️, and River bounces between ‘actually a fascinating character’ and ‘moffat wrote a sexy girlboss who wants to fuck the doctor’ so hard it gives me whiplash. (and i say this as a River enjoyer, I love her and she deserves so much better lmao.)

Of the three of them, I think Clara actually comes out a lot better written overall? She’s allowed more space to be a character rather than be a woman, if that makes sense. Sure, bit of a rocky start in s7, and I can certainly see why the Impossible Girl thing could be aggravating to some people. (I think it was. Fine. fantastic episode conceptually that sort of fell apart when it came to actually doing anything.) but Clara in s8 (and the start of s9) is fantastic. Her relationship with Danny and the Doctor is messy and deceptive and so understandable. “Listen” as an episode almost felt like ‘hey what if the clara putting herself in the doctor’s past was actually interesting and impacted him’. Her becoming more like the Doctor, especially after losing Danny, both as an effort to hold on tight to the only person she perceives as keeping her moving forward and giving her a purpose AND because to her, the Doctor is able to lose so much and not be destroyed by it and she wants that (without really understanding just how much this life is fucking him up, too.), is just. fantastic.

where was i going with this. i have no idea. my point, i think, is: i guess i can see how initial reactions to clara might color a less than flattering picture of the rest of her, but :( consider: i love her so so much and everyone should be niceys to her.

[neonscandal]

Manga with Me: Sad SatoSugu Edition (Because That's Literally the Only Flavor There Is) Pt 2

Because I realized reblogging my initial post to keep the list going was super dumb if I want to keep gratuitously adding to it so... if you've already seen part 2, no you haven't. Especially since I had to add at least one other thing to the mix.

Part 1 | Part 2

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: JJK 0 movie + season 2 though things may get out of chronological order as I just keep thinking in circles.

Buckle up:

How positively fucked it was that Kenjaku knew the ins and outs of Geto’s thoughts about Gojo upon his possession… and knew how Geto was the one thing that could trip Gojo up… but those idiots were completely unaware.

The fact that they were always cast at odds, cursed technique wise, nature vs nurture, attitude, ideology, etc. But they still found the common ground to respect and care for one another.

I kept saying how Geto only loses his cool when harm comes to Gojo but… the crux of it is the fact that Geto is the only person who loses his cool when harm comes to Gojo because no one else could fathom the possibility (until Yuta and Yuji came along). Gojo’s power damns him to be an infallible weapon just as much as it damns Geto to be a casualty.

In fact, Geto thanked him for his hard work during the Star Plasma Vessel mission. As if Gojo had a choice. But still, Geto expressed appreciation for what most everyone else probably took for granted.

How Geto was the one person who truly challenged and undid Gojo’s godlike power all because Gojo cared for him. *insert River Song’s tirade about the Doctor loving a mere human.*

The fact that Riko’s death and their subsequent failure is what catapulted Gojo back into the need to refine and perfect his godlike strength which brought him out of touch with Geto. The isolation which Gojo knew all too well is what destroyed Geto.

Not enough emphasis was given to the fact that Geto was actively spiraling, probably couldn’t bring a spoon to his own mouth BUT STILL WANTED TO TREAT GOJO.

Geto didn’t know the power he held over Gojo or, more likely, he never chose to use it because, if Gojo would just follow him, how would that not be just as bad as the position he was already forced into by the elders? Even so, Gojo was frenzied and showed such elevated emotion when Geto defected, when he confronted him. He was undone.

After Geto, we never have the same level of insight or clarity into Gojo either. So, in addition to no longer being vulnerable to threats, he’s no longer vulnerable to us, the readers, either.

This isn’t strictly a SatoSugu observation but.. the fact that Gojo’s strength damned him to face off against a person he cares most about not once… but twice?

Gojo cultivated a life surrounded by people who he protected, who he guided, who were indebted to him, even, and he still felt like Geto was his one and only, even after everything. Even as his dream came into fruition with his team of strong students, it was all for Geto and all for naught without him.

This face when Geto realizes what we’ve known all along. Gojo’s love was unconditional but unfathomable to Geto. Please, I’m sick about it.

During the events of the JJK 0 movie, after 10 years apart, Gojo could still piece together Geto's plan just as well as Geto could figure out that Gojo sent Panda and Toge into battle to trigger Yuta's power up.

When Gojo retorts that “it’s called trust. People with beliefs like yours won’t kill a young sorcerer without reason.” having been figured out by Geto.

Even so, Geto receives that as personally as Gojo probably meant it, surprised to find that "[he] didn't realize [Gojo] still felt any connection with [him]."

When you consider that, even at the close of his life, couldn't be forthright and honest and simply tell Gojo that he never hated him.

Even when Gojo was the source of his most genuine smiles. Even bloody in an alley, death staring him in the face, claiming to not be able to smile with his whole heart and yet

Points aggressively at the board. 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

Stay tuned for when I inevitably circle back to light novels, OP's, EP's and literally anything else that pops into my head as this dynamic continues to haunt me. ✨

[shewhowas39]

Juniper & Starlight - Chapter 34: "Behind Blue Eyes"

rating: Explicit pairing: Astarion x f!durge (June)/OC fic summary: Between the nightmares, prophetic visions, and violent hallucinations, June is losing grip on reality, but she has enough awareness to know that Astarion's flirtation is part of some sort of con. He barely even likes her, after all. When she decides to call his bluff and play along, thinking he'll back down, she's surprised to discover that she and the vampire have more in common than either could have anticipated. And his touch might be the only thing that can keep her sane.

chapter title: "Behind Blue Eyes" chapter summary: in which Shadowheart and Lae'zel wanna fight each other, June and Wyll find the owlbear cub, and Astarion has an unhinged request. content warnings: intrusive thoughts, sad animal (but unharmed), eyeballs

A/N: sorry for the delay on this one! things have been busy, but i'm back! i hope you enjoy the unhinged bit in the last part of the chapter lmao

***

PREVIEW

“I’m sorry - you let that ignorant buffoon do what to your eye?!” 

Astarion stares at June in horror. Her eyes - her beautiful, remarkable, unforgettable eyes - tampered with by the stupidest man on the Sword Coast. And now one of them has been removed and replaced by an inferior fake, this one with a pale blue iris with an eerie, silvery sheen to it. It’s striking, sure, but he loved her real eyes. 

He’s going to kill Volo for this. Drain him dry. Toss the body into the river. The world would be better for it.

June, for her part, seems fine. In fact, she seems frustratingly calm about the whole thing. Despite the fact that one of her bloody eyes has just been removed. 

They’ve set up camp outside the temple tonight. They haven’t finished going through every room of the place in search of things that will help them move forward, but the stench of the place had both Astarion and Shadowheart declaring that they’d rather sleep outside this time. It was a rare moment of agreement that Astarion suspects will never happen again. 

So Gale and June had taken the time to cast a few wind spells to blow the remaining stench in the air away from the area outside of the temple, and it was back to camping. Now, with tents set up, the group were mostly just chatting and doing various pre-rest activities. It was just as Astarion was on his way to pick up a book from his tent that he got close enough to June to notice the change in her eyes. 

She hadn’t even told anyone what the bard had done to her. Just continued on her evening as if nothing strange had occurred. The mad woman! 

“He thought he could get the tadpole out,” she says, as if this isn’t an insane explanation. 

“With an icepick?”

She shrugs. “The needle didn’t work.” 

Astarion buries his face in his hands and groans. He doesn’t uncover his face before asking, “Did you honestly think this would be successful? You know the man is a self-aggrandizing moron, right? Not a bloody doctor?”

He’s glad he can’t see the nonchalant expression he’s sure she must have or the shrug she must give of her shoulders when she says, “No, but I was curious.” If he did see it, he may have been tempted to kill her, too.

“Of-fucking-course you were curious.”

[hobgoblinns]

you can put the word fuck once in every season of nuwho. Where is it going?

what a great question!

s1: i wanted to choose something funny, but i think nine screaming FUCKING KILL YOURSELF at that dalek would go hard af. but also…… nine and rose have the kind of relationship where i’m sure she’d jokingly say “oh fuck you” every time the doctor takes a cheap shot at humans

s2: i already posted tonight about wanting ten to be allowed to say “fuck you, mickey” (specifically in rise of the cybermen when mickey gets mad at him for favouring rose). but right now i kind of love the image of rose in doomsday throwing herself at that wall and screaming FUCK!!!!!!

s3: the tensimm fan in me wants to replace “are you asking me out on a date?” with “are you trying to fuck?”. but i think it would be more gratifying if, in the same episode, we got to see martha say “fuck you, i’ll do what i like” to the doctor when he tells her not to call home

s4: this is DONNA we’re talking about. you expect me to choose just one? well. alright. “i was asleep, in my clothes, like a fucking kid!”. imagine how much it would hurt if all this time she’s been censoring herself and then, with her memory wiped, she’s suddenly back to cussing the hell out of everyone she meets

2009/2010 specials (yes im cheating shhh): in the end of time: “i had fucking estates”.

s5: river: ooh, i’m going to be a professor someday? doctor: (softly) fuuuuuuuck….

s6: instead of that amazing “the doctor is very dear to me. but you know what else he is? not here” speech that amy gives, she should just say “fuck you madame kovarian” and murder her in cold blood. genuinely like, amy was exhibiting insane restraint for a mother who’d had her child taken from her.

s7: “i didn’t know when i was well off. all fucking twelve of them.” “no sir — all fucking thirteen!”

s8: again, this is TWELVE. almost every line feels like a pg malcolm tucker. but i’m going to go with dark water’s “can you hurry up please or i’m going to hit you with my fucking shoe”

s9: easiest one yet: “get up, off your fucking arse, and win”.

s10: missy and the master: “hold me” “fuck me” “make me” (this scene made me queasy but those two are horribly fucked up and would 100% say this)

s11: i have only seen this season in snippets but i think someone in ‘rosa’ has got to tell a racist to go fuck themselves

s12: during the master’s whole pathetic “wahhh kneel call me master” spiel i think the doctor should have just told him to fuck off. when i saw that scene i was yelling at the screen for him to fuck off so i think she should be allowed to tell him to as well. or maybe spray him with a water pistol like a bad cat

s13: for some reason the first thing that comes to mind is evil dan but tbh he doesn’t need to say fuck. he’s already powerful enough. instead in that opening scene when thirteen is trying to get the voice activated handcuffs to open: “RELEASE!!! oh, maybe i was scottish when i set them up…….. fucking RRRRRELEASE!!!!!!!!”

s13 specials (cheating again shh): tegan: and yes, i WOULD like to go in the fucking tardis!!! (alternatively: “i know these teeth… what… WHAT… WHAT THE FUCK????”)

[icarusredwings]

Explaining this because I don't think people are getting it. Ft. One of my favorite mutals. @the--quotifyer--innit

The Master's issue isn't that the Doctor is poly. His issue is that he can not feel second best.

Tw: Mention of toxic jealous behavior, social/ romantic hiarcys, a lot of dog metaphors because its easier for me to explain, someone who's really autistic yapping about fictional old man yaoi, lots of misspelling, Apologies if I seem upset/rude, Im very passionate about the phycology behind social/romantic hiarchys and similar behaviours.

I was asked; Hey what would you think Sax would do if he met tentoo and rose?? With or without 14.

Me: Without 14? Like pre saxteen or just him not there? I think either way he'd beat the fuck out of tentoo. (Because he'd think he's cheating on him at first) He'd try to best up rose too depending on if we were talking s10 sax, pre saxteen, or established saxteen. Hed probably fail, but he'd try.

Yeah, sharing is definitely not his thing

No, definitely not (with Rose). Also, he'd probably lecture her, and then she'd be like "dude LOOK WHOS TALKING" and he'd be like, "WELL- ....☝️ 🤨.... actually... erm (you got a point)." Especially if we're talking Torchwood Rose? It would also piss him off how many traits she has picked up from the doctor. He'd become so emotionally jealous about it. (That Rose has the Doctor's traits)

Because he's not stupid. He's extremely smart. If this is pre/ established, the Doctor talks about her all the time. Even now. Little things. "Oh, there's this little shop down the road that Rose worked at. They have some sales sometimes. " He would SEE how much he actually loved her and feel extremely defeated, which would probably turn to rage and try to kill her. Then have a mental breakdown and sob by himself.

Probs blackmail her Bout how long he's know the doctor compared to a pathetic human girl. Rose would not be impressed.

You can't really use that as black mail but brag? Yes. (He'd definitely brag about knowing him much longer)

I could write a whole thing about this (and I did), but bassically, the fact that she's just a human girl is PART of the reason he'd get so upset. He's a fucking TIME LORD with MORE credibility then the doctor and one of the top loves of his eternity he's ever had is some 20 year old blonde girl????

Because with the master (and all of Gallifrey in general) Reputation and status means a lot. So the fact that the doctor chose her (someone who has zero of both) over him (someone who has a lot of both) it would mean that he likes her PURELY for love and this? That crushes him entirely.

Donna: The doctor is currently locked in the shed writing ' I love you, I promise' notes on the window.

If this ever happened, they'd probably get a divorce on the spot because the doctor CAN'T deny that he loves her still. And will. Forever. Saxon would kill him again and not even want to regenerate. He is a "You said til death do us part, and I said until all of time collapsees. We are not the same" kind of guy. He'd kill them both and be sure they fall in the same grave. It's very poetic. (In a way)

See he's okay with River because her physical body is dead as fuck. She can never leave that computer. So this automically puts sax on top of the metaphotic food chain in his head.

Because the doctor comes to him and asks if he can visit his wife and then comes back home to him. That's what matters. Meanwhile, the doctor would go to a different universe to go home to Rose. (If given the chance) And he knows it.

It's like having a dog tolerate/dominant dog. I'll use Minpins because I own one. Minpins have a pack status, and the top one has to be seen as the top by the owner, mainly rather than the other dogs. So if the doctor has multiple lovers (like always), sax has to feel he's on top and receives the most attention. If the doctor starts ignoring or punishing him for "defending" his spot as the top, he'll actually get MORE aggressive towards the others.

He has to be the one at the top of the list, the most special to the doctor, just for his own weird lil reasons

No, it's not really his own weird little reason. It's social psychology.

The thing is, he doesn't *actually* have to be the most special to the doctor, but he NEEDS to think he is. For me personally, and what I know, I like to think that Rose and The master are actually pretty equal, he just says stuff about her *because* he can't do stuff with her anymore which is just the process of longing.

I know I keep coming back to the dog metaphors, but im autistic like that, so give me a chance.

It's like for me, i had a dog named bailey. I love bailey even now, and often I compare my current dog fern to bailey. Its part of the healing process because im comparing them less and less. Especially with the fact that they're VERY different breeds. Bailey was a live stock guardian, an anatolian shepherd, to be exact. 90 pounds. Hairy. Fern is an 8 pound chihuahua miniature pinscher mix. Short hair.

Both are protective of the kids, both bark at men, both are silly and cuddly, and I love them both a lot. But its unfair to compare them because they are so different.

Though there's nothing wrong with liking the similars.

It's unfair for the master and rose to be compared. That's how the doctor thinks about it. The master is his top time lord on his list. Rose is his top human.

In my head anyway.

I'll probably add to this later, but for now, feel free to add on yourself

[st4rshiptr00per]

look LOOK ok i was joking before but the more i think about it the more real Ms Flood being Iris/an Iris Wildthyme expy is to me like I've fully convinced myself at this point.

like i have SUPPORTING EVIDENCE it MAKES SENSE to me. its not gonna happen but also after that fucking finale i am willing to believe anything...

FIRST of all RTD took so much stuff from the books during his first run, including having River as she is originally written as a Bernice expy (proof he would take characters from extended universe media) and the whole time war coming straight from the eighth doctor adventures (proof he would take inspo from the EDAs). THEREFORE....iris originally being from the EDAs means shes within his purview. so its not impossible and im not TJLCing myself and you cant accuse me of such

point number two -> i think her introductory book (Scarlet Empress) has a lot of thematic resonance with this first season re: all the stuff about stories, narrative, audiences, observation, etc. been a while since i read it so its not as fresh in my mind but theres a Lot going on in that book about stories, and about the form of Doctor Who itself, about it being a cyclical, self-referential thing that endlessly iterates on itself. iris literally retcons herself into the doctors life by telling him about adventures theyve gone on together that he swears never happened, until he finds himself remembering them. the story comes from the POV of an unknown and unseen audience going through her various recordings and writings of the events. reality is created from fiction. reality is made slightly more fictional. the artifice of the Entire Series isnt necessarily addressed, but is sort of gestured at with nodding and eyebrow wiggling. all in all, very fitting, i think.

and as for what we've seen of Flood so far we can certainly check off addressing the audience, being rude in a familial sort of way, boozing it up, knowledge of TARDISes, and swag fur coat outfits. also VERY much of note is her suitcase covered in travel stickers of places the Doctors been, which is again totally in line with how Iris is written in Scarlet Empress, existing in a sort of parallel, not-quite-mutually-exclusive canon where she was the one who did all of the big things the doctors done, while acknowledging that he has also been responsible for the exact same events. and if you really want to get crazy you can take the Prominent Old-Style Double Decker Bus with Suspicious Numbering in that one post-apocalyptic scene in the Devil's Chord.

anyways if anything happens that could even make it look like im a tiny bit right i will become unmanageable.

[millilps]

fuck it, we ball clown

so. Susan. Susan Triad. it was all a set up to trap the Doctor. all the mentions of Susan (Foreman) were just to give context to the new viewers. but you know what's interesting here? family.

"wtf are you talking about are you high or something" no no bear with me I actually have a point it's not just pure clowning. well, it is, but I swear I'm trying my best here to make it make sense

it's a long post so buckle up clowns we're going all in with this one

so, I was saying, if you think about it a lot of episodes in this season are more or less centered around or connected to the idea of family in some way:

Space Babies: I mean. yeah. it doesn't really need an explanation. and also the whole thing of being abandoned just like Ruby

The Devil's Chord: we know Maestro is part of the Toymaker's family, and technically also the kid we see at the start? I think? are there theories about that kid? is he just a normal kid and then became somehow the harbinger of Maestro?

Boom: the concept of family literally saves everyone

73 Yards: well, Ruby's family is present in the episode, but also it's interesting how Ruby's fears play out in the episode which is directly interlocked with her birth mother abandoning her, it's kinda there but not as central or as explored as other episodes

Dot and Bubble: it's... a bit more subtle. it's there, kinda. we do have the whole thing of all the people in Finetime being part of rich families, and we also see Lindy's mom, so it's better than nothing

Rogue: I actually don't know. the family of Chuldurs? the marriage proposal? I have absolutely no idea but I also feel like it's there somewhere

The Legend of Ruby Sunday/Empire of Death: I probably don't have to say much as they are the episodes that actually dive in Ruby's story and the mystery around her birth, but yeah the family theme is obviously there

with the season following this theme, more or less, Susan was an obvious choice.

think about it: the Doctor has lost so many people he cared about that Sutekh pretty much could use every name ever. obviously they also had to explain regeneration to new viewers (hi, new viewers! hope you're enjoying the show!) so the list had to be shortened to only characters who are time lords or have the ability to regenerate, add a bit of "the Doctor regretting his past choices" and you get Susan. and this is tied directly with the theme of family, because she is the Doctor's family, technically the only gallifreyan family member we know about (Jenny, River, the Ponds and probably more that I'm forgetting/don't know about are also family, but in a different way) and also we have no informations whatsoever about her - sure, we have Big Finish, but it's kinda... not exactly canon, I guess? idk. nothing is canon and everything is canon at the same time in this show, you just have to live with it. still, she's one of the biggest mysteries of this show, because while other characters came back or were mentioned with information about them and/or their lives either in the expanded universe that is more strongly influenced by the show (yes I'm looking at Barbara and Ian's wedding in the 50th anniversary DMW that I can't find anywhere, idc what anyone says but that IS canon) or in the actual show at some point, she has never officially returned, and the Doctor has never officially gone back to meet her (sure, we have the story Fellow Traveller in the book Adventures in Lockdown, but it's probably not canon anymore at this point - although, it could be, if we clown enough). and with all the things about family in the season, obviously she had to be the key.

Ruby's family story is concluded: she found her birth mother, she also found her father, and now she has an amazing big loving family. but you know which one isn't? the Doctor's. we've met his adoptive mother, sure, but we know the Doctor had kids, we know Susan exists, and we know she's family to him.

she's out there somewhere. I know. she must be. she could've been mentioned in a lot of different episodes, a lot of different points, a lot of different stories, but she wasn't.

so why all these mentions all of a sudden? honestly I have absolutely no idea, I'm not RTD, I'm just a clown doing clown things, and the clown things on today's list is making theories about how Susan might come back

[finalpam8000]

How I think Charley would get on with all of the other 8th Doctor Companions I’m familiar with

Grace: They’d get along great! A bit of a Steven and Vicki situation where the slightly older Grace would be a bit more protective and cautious, where as Charley “I’m Gonna Stowaway on a Dirigible” Pollard throws caution to the wind to explore! But they still look out for eachother!

Benny: Charley has a Bisexual Awakening.m4a

Stacy and Ssard: This season on Doctor Who, the TARDIS becomes the vehicle for double dates! She would be a bit intimidated by Ssard and try to befriend Stacy, but I think once Ssard shows his sense of humor they’d get along quite well!

Izzy: They’d get along great. I think Charley would really respect Izzy’s enthusiasm about scifi and comics (even if she doesn’t really get it) and Izzy would love Charley’s spirit of adventure. They’d probably kiss about it.

Feyde: Charley would be really intimidated by Fade being a super spy and all, especially if this after the transition for Sade to Feyde. But I think they would respect eachother and make a good team.

Kroton: She would be like “Woah Big Metal Man” and Kroton would be like “Woah Edwardian Adventuress” and then they’d be besties. :]

Destrii: Charley would very much not be a fan of the whole body swapping thing and would not want her on board. However she would help the Doctor carry Destrii into to the TARDIS after she got mortally wounded that one time and begrudgingly accept her onto the team.

Sam: Very much depends how they were introduced. Either their meeting goes well, they see how similar they are and become fast friends. Or Charley says something dated, Sam starts an argument about it, and it just escalates, until the Doctor breaks them up. In that timeline they wouldn’t really see eye to eye for a long time because they’re both so similar. Narcissism of small differences and all. But in the long run they would be friends.

Fitz: Oh they’d HATE eachother. Everything about one drives the other bonkers. And then they would sense they’re both in love with the Doctor and as such would fight to the death about it. Charley would win. Two utterly incompatible beings, I wish they would meet in a Big Finish boxset.

Compassion: Charley: “Doctor! That’s fucked up! That’s a fucked up thing you did to a person!!!”

Romana II (She was in the Shada audio, it counts): I think if they met while Romana was a regular companion they’d get on swimmingly. Charley would really admire how Romana can just so effortlessly understand what’s happening and take charge of a situation. And Romana would really admire Charley’s boldness and spontaneity. Maybe they’d kiss about it.

Mary: I think Charley would be a bit star struck by having THE Mary Shelly on board! (Finally, she can do some name dropping herself!) But would be a bit, excitable for Mary. They’d still get along well but I’m not sure how close they would get.

Lucie: The levels of biting comments at the Doctor’s expense would be the an all time high since Peri left. 8 would not survive both of them at peak sass.

River (She’s been in quite a few audios with 8 she counts.): Charley has a Bisexual Awakening (2).m4a

[ladyteldra]

Any Way the River Flows

Alternatively: Help! I've Turned the Scum Villain into a Woman!

Shen Yuan survived the attempt on his life from the expired yogurt with divine intervention called his little sister. She was even kind enough not to make fun of his obsession with PIDW and introduce him to fandom while he recovered.

He does not survive the encounter with Truck-kun.

'System! System, what the fuck?!’ [User was assigned the most suitable host!]

In which Shen Yuan is trans and just as prone to overthinking as ever. There is truly no greater champion at 5D chess, especially against himself.

Preview:

Shen Yuan adjusts his mask as he steps off the bus, fitting it more firmly over his nose. It was a pleasant, if chilly, day and the warmth of his breath quickly steams up his glasses if he’s not careful. The sun was out after several days of cloud cover, leaving crisp blue skies he knew won’t last long, the weather report called for rain in the next few days. 

There was worse weather to have to go out in.

He was returning home from a visit to his doctor. Finally recovering from a severe bout of food poisoning that had laid him out months ago. Too many long nights followed by putting off shopping until the last minute, and then getting distracted by a notification in his email.

Anger wars with shame as he remembers that forsaken ending and the resulting situation. 

Deep breath in, out. 

His doctors have been stressing the need to avoid getting worked up over small things. His sister would never let him live it down if he had another health crisis over that damn novel. 

The only thing worse than how the novel ended was knowing his sister was the one to find him on the floor. Unconscious and apparently dying after ingesting expired yogurt of all things. If she hadn’t decided to check on him that day… if she had waited another week for their planned outing… He doesn’t like to think about what the scene would have been. 

Shen Yuan will always be thankful for her intervention, but would have thought that she was too busy calling emergency services and the family to make note of his computer screen. He apparently wasn’t that lucky.

After berating him for his poor habits - his lack of food in the apartment, missing family dinners, not calling - she brought up exactly what web page happened to be in full view. 

Proud Immortal Demon Way. Popular YY Stallion Novel. Incredibly long. Frequently updated. Absolute trash. The brand new final chapter that was only just released for the paid subscribers.

And the freshly posted comment by one Peerless Cucumber.

She was kind enough to lock his computer and turn off the monitor before the ambulance arrived.

Meimei had read the novel too. Well, at least part of it. 

She had bailed shortly after the resolution of the Abyss plot line. When it moved into less cohesive storyline and plot territory and more into excuse for papapa scene territory.

That’s not to say she dropped the novel and left it all behind, never to think of it again.

No. 

She was kind enough to introduce him to all the amazing sites where dissatisfied fans had taken on the task of exploring the story more thoroughly.

She introduced him to fanfiction. Condescendingly telling him he’d have nothing better to do during his time in the hospital bed. She was right. 

Shen Yuan had, of course, known of fanfiction before. You can’t exist on the internet without having at least heard of it and he’s been to multiple conventions. Fan content is a cornerstone for many of them. He’d spent a good amount of money on unofficial merch.

He just hadn’t seen the point of exploring it before the absolute bomb of a conclusion. These were offshoots of the original, how different could it be?

The answer is very. 

Despite familiar themes and characters, it was like a whole new world.

Every complaint he had as a reader, ones he felt were being shouted into the void, were obviously things that bothered others as well. Dropped plot points were explored in depth. Interesting wives that felt forgotten were given personality and purpose. Innumerable objects of ancient power were given history and context. 

So many delved into the possible political landscapes surrounding the world, how they evolved to where they were the protagonist tore through. Focused on the numerous background characters and villains and gave them motivations and lives that were less one dimensional. Gave those supporting them their own reasons in a world that didn’t just revolve around the protagonist.

Admittedly, his favorites were still ones focused on Lou Binghe. But they gave him more meaning than a revenge driven papapa machine. 

There’s nothing like distance to gain perspective. The entire experience has felt like a gold mine in comparison to the original trash.

The community has been extremely welcoming too.

An unfortunate number of people he interacted with recognize his handle, one he really should have considered changing between platforms in retrospect. It’s one thing when it’s mostly anonymous criticism of terrible stallion novels, quite another when people he’s starting to respect are using it. He should have left it behind in middle school where it belonged, but he’d gotten used to it and so had others. It was branding. And at least not as blatant as Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky’s own dick pun. 

The fan authors on the sites are always surprised at Peerless Cucumber’s lack of vitriol when commenting on works, pleasantly so in most cases. He’s been quick to point out that he’s not paying them for their content, so he can’t judge it as if he was and most of them far outstrip the original work in every way already. And those he actually hates? He can just not interact entirely.

He’s also joined a few forums and chat rooms dedicated to the more factual side. Ones focused on helping each other find the obscure pieces of information in the behemoth of original text or getting feedback on their interpretation of passages. Trying to find lost threads that tie together hundreds of chapters apart. 

He’s starting to make a different name for himself there. One not tied to biting critique and scathing reviews, but someone to rely on for quick and accurate information on the beasts from text. He’s being tagged more and more often in posts looking for quick answers on traits and names of obscure beasts that might appear in different locations in the novel. He’s even updated the wiki.

It’s fun. 

He feels like it’s been good for him. A new way to enjoy the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way without all the stress and rage that came with reading the original every time he realized another plot point was being ignored. 

He’s even regularly talking to several others on a regular basis. In a few months, he’ll even be willing to tentatively call them friends. 

Shen Yuan might have, might have, also begun compiling all his answers into a single document for easy access. He may have also started expanding on that information with links between other creatures and what they might be based on. Some blurbs of what could be first hand accounts in the style of journal entries. 

If you want it, write it yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world and all that. The reception of the few entries he’d shared had been positive. Enough to make him want to keep going

There might also be a slowly growing assortment of artistic interpretations of what those creatures would look like.

Meimei is the only one that’s seen the drawings and she’s given her seal of approval. He’s not drawn since his burnout from school. It was good to know he hadn’t lost all his hard won skill. His mother can never be allowed to know. She’d been giving him sad eyes to pick up drawing back up for years. If she knew that all it took was a shitty novel…

He very carefully doesn’t think about the also growing assortment of figure studies as he’s reread the beginning text.

Well, she’d probably just be happy it happened at all.

Shen Yuan stops before the next crosswalk, red. He rubs some circulation back into hands before pulling out his phone to check his emails. He can’t get too engrossed, everyone else is on the other side of the street for once, so he can’t use people moving around him as a prompt. But he can at least check to see if he’s been tagged in anything recently. It’s good to start formulating a response ahead of time if he can, or at least know how much is waiting for him.

If he’s lucky, there might even be some updates to look forward to when he gets home. He follows more than a few that use his contributions.

His email hasn’t even finished loading when the screech of tires causes him to look up in alarm. 

It’s a truck.

Swerving towards him. 

‘I’m not even on the crosswalk, yet.” 

Read more here.

[goeldicotton]

Found this randomly, and just decided to answer all the questions for Eleven and River.

1. River, not to say Eleven isn’t affectionate, but he doesn’t ever say how he feels directly. which resulted in River assuming he didn’t love her at all, so yeah, she wins.

2. River is the little spoon, because Eleven likes to play with her hair while she’s asleep.

3. I mean, I could say the whole spoilers thing, but that’s easy, so instead…probably arguments about killing people.

4. Exploring. they’re both nerds. he’s the doctor, she’s an archaeologist. Yeah, exploring.

5. Already drew it, the answer is River. One, she’d fight him if he tried to pick her up. Two, Eleven is a stick. Three, River being badass is half the reason Eleven is into her. her picking him up would fluster the idiot to no end, and I love that.

6. Eleven: Hair River: His Blushing

7. Eleven: starts flirting back River: stops trying to kill him?

8. Hello Sweetie~

9. Depends on which end of the timeline we’re on. River in her past was reckless and violent, and probably saw the doctor as a complete stick in the mud, with all his spoilers, and rules. Towards the end however, she was the one teaching him his own rules. (that’s what we call a bootstrap paradox.) meaning she had to be the worrying responsible one.

10. The Doctor remembers almost every detail about River. he could tell you the exact thing she’d order, even at a place they’ve never been to, just by glancing at the menu.

11. Usually River.

12. Still River.

13. That one is Eleven. River would never think to hold hands, unless she was dragging him somewhere.

14. River, the doctor is too busy fidgeting/melting into the floor.

15. The doctor barely sleeps.

16. Surprisingly enough, I think that’s Eleven. It’s not to sleep mind you. He’d just want to spend more time with her before dropping her back off, especially towards the end of his timeline.

17. River, I don’t think Eleven ever says it, not to her. he’s probably said it to himself, or even to other people, but he never got around to telling her.

18. I imagine Eleven would leave meals for her on occasion towards the end of their timelines. Mainly when he was running out of days he could see her. they’d usually have notes with random jokes and things. they were his way of saying ‘I love you have a good day/night,’ without actually saying it.

19. River

20. They’re supportive…at least, as much as one can be when your friend marries your daughter. I think they took it well honestly.

21. Eleven, he asks her to dance at nearly any opportunity.

22. River can’t cook. surprisingly enough, cooking a decent meal wasn’t part of her kill the doctor training. Eleven on the other hand, can cook quite well. he tried to teach her once, and the kitchen caught on fire.

23. Eleven is the king of cheesy pickup lines.

24. River, all the time, especially when she was younger.

25. Eleven, but only because River functions without it. She definitely needs assurance that her husband loves her, because it’s eating her up inside, but she’s still able to do things regardless. The doctor meanwhile, has moments where, without assurance, he’s going to fuck up the universe.

26. IDK you yet

27. Eleven.

28. Eleven: travel River: depends, either school, jail, digs, or teaching.

29. One for each.

River never traveled with the doctor, because she feared her husband would come to resent her for risking their timelines.

The Doctor has thought of millions of different ways he could save River from the library, but is so afraid of failing, that he hasn’t attempted any of them.

30. One for each.

River always keeps a box of Jammie dodgers around in case Eleven drops by. she’s been doing this since university.

Eleven’s diary is nothing but him gushing about his wife. like it’s just full of him complimenting her, and writing awful poems, and sketching her. He’s definitely written down that he loves her, even if he’d never said it.

[variousqueerthings]

DOCTOR... WHO???? (siiiigh)

ok. ok. so. ok. alright let's do this. i have a sneaking suspicion this will rate higher than some other M*ffat episodes, but don't let that fool you about me thinking it's good"

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 8/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 3/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 1/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 5/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 3/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 1/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 3/10

FULL RATING: 37/100 (if I can count….)

OMFG NO IT'S THE LOWEST RATED BOY OH BOY OH BOY AND IT DIDN'T EVEN DO BAD ON OBJECTIFICATION RATING AND YET!!!!!! IT'S SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!

OBJECTIFICATION: Amy wears a suit in this one. River Song is also wearing a suit in this one. because this secret society thing? (I am unclear what they're doing in it in this world, but I mean... the world-building is rated one out of ten so we'll get to that) people wear suits

there is this weird fucking interaction between sci-fi Churchill and the Doctor:

Churchill: What’s she like? Attractive I suppose The Doctor: Hell.... in high heels Churchill (leering): Tell me more

PLOT-POINT: ok so like. this episode is called "the wedding of River Song." it's about... not River Song. it's technically about how River Song (REMEMBER HOW RIVER SONG IS SECRETLY AMY'S AND RORY'S KID AND SHE WAS STOLEN AFTER AMY WAS FORCED TO GIVE BIRTH TO HER IN ORDER TO BREED THE "PERFECT PSYCHOPATH FOR THE DOCTOR" SO SHE WOULD KILL THE DOCTOR FOR A REASON WE STILL DON'T KNOW BUT LET'S FUCKINDFG DKLJSLÖKGFHSK BUT THEN OFC SHE BREAKS HER PROGRAMMING BECAUSE SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE'S INFORMED SHE WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND SO SHE DECIDES NOT TO KILL THE DOCTOR BUT THEN THEY FORCE HER INTO AN ASTRONAUT SUIT THAT WAS BUILT IN 1969 BECAUSE THIS SECRET SOCIETY SENT HUMANITY TO THE MOON SO THEY COULD DESIGN THIS SUIT FOR RIVER SONG TO KILL THE DOCTOR THE MOON LANDING WAS ABOUT THE DOCTOR SDFJJJLKJÖARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OKAY AND SO EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NO LONGER INTERESTED IN KILLING THE DOCTOR THEY CAN JUST KIDNAP HER AND FORCE HER ITO THE SUIT TO KILL THE DOCTOR BUT ALSO NOW SHE'S NOT BECAUSE LURVE MAKES HER BREAK TIME TRUST ME BRO JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT I- *tears M*ffat apart With My Fucking Teeth*)

okay so it's about how River Song broke time in order to not kill the Doctor, which is supposedly a fixed point in Time, even though it definitely is not in show canon up until this season decided it was, and then the whole episode is the Doctor building up to telling River "actually I've found a way to not die," and she's like "oh good" and then he doesn't die

that is the plot. why is this a season's worth of plot and then 48mins? I will get to the FUCKING MONTAGES in a bit

so River's Thing is like. she's in love with the Doctor. in fact according to this episode "I cant let you die without letting you know that you are loved, by so many and so much, but by no one more than me"

which, if you're into River/Doctor is fine, personally I think Matt Smith looks like a child and Alex Kingston for all her acting (and hindered by so much bad "sexy" dialogue) cannot convince me she's into this baby-looking person. maybe if they'd done this during Capaldi, but that would require doing more things with River Song and M*ffat isn't really interested in her beyond the fact that a. she's in love with the Doctor and uh... 2. she was raised by a secret society. or she lived with her mother while she was growing up? (how did that work, when she was a child, weren't there people wondering who this kid's parents were????) and 3. she's sexy and she knows it

it does not fucking matter how she feels about the brainwashing of it all. it Does Not

I give this SOME points, because finally Amy got to have an emotion about her baby being taken away from her, I had fully forgotten that: "You took my baby from me and you hurt her and now she’s grown up and she’s fine (is she, we'll never know), but I’ll never see my baby again," and then she straight up, deliberately murders the villain who's helplessly tied to a chair

wonder if her feeling about murder will affect the plot in the future (they do mention it at the end of this episode), and she hints that "River didn't get it all from you" so like. Amy care to explain the execution you just committed?

she also mowed down a bunch of The Silence, but they're creepy monster people and not real people, so that's fine

uhhh what else for Amy? idk, she's there, she still loves Rory

COMPLEXITY: Stupid! Fucking! Plot! wait I already did this in the above point, okay so after River Breaks Time to not kill the Doctor at this supposed fixed point (lol, no it still fucking isn't M*ffat, there's loose continuity, and there's not caring at all about making your shit make sense, because LOLLL it's scifi after all and you can do what you want I fucking guess), Time just... stops

and all of Time happens at the same Time, except some people are noticing (are people ageing? or experiencing the same day again and again? or.. hte same second again and again? why is Churchill really the guy we want representing this idea??? why are there cars being carried around by big balloons????? why is it all earth? no time to explore any of this world- wait that's below point IT ALL BLEEDS INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE IT'S SO STUPID)

WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLORE ANY OF THIS BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET TO THE REALLY INTERESTING PART OF THE EPISODE!

montages

the Doctor is explaining what happened up to a certain point and does so through the artistic format of montage. that means that Every! FUcking! Episode! M*ffat wrote for this season has a montage at the beginning!!!!!!

and then at the end of the montage, they're like oh no there's The Silence around us, for some reason, and then the Doctor gets kidnapped by... Amy, who's in the secret society now?

but now they're good guys, dedicated to figuring out why Time has stopped (except it... I mean it clearly hasn't, things are moving and changing and why is this done in the Stupidest way possible)

and they captured some Silence. but actually they were never captured just waiting, and now they're free and they go up to the top of a pyramid, the Doctor gets married to River, time restarts, River shoots the Doctor, but the Doctor had a Plan all along, using the little guys in robot-people we met in Let's Kill Hitler to get that body shot instead

the end

except for setting up THE NEXT STAGE OF THE MYSTERY because aaaalll of this happenned from WAY back in s5, because of a Question that mustn't be asked... and that question is Doctor Who

this episode is doing like. 2 things. "I know I'm going to die, and I stopped it easily (not so fixed a point after all I Guess, M*ffat)," and River and Doctor got married

oh and Amy KILLED PEOPLE but this will not be important, that was just to make her More Badass

and for all that it is presented like it's so fucking complicated

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: um so plot as above is nothing, as said, it's just another bit of silly mystery on top of an already unwieldy house of cards standing in a drafty room

characters. not much actually, I mean, yes the Doctor and River got married now, but it's like. anti-dynamic. it's just there now the characters are meant to get married for the set-piece

lore um... checks notes. fucking. "Doctor Who." Trenzalore is a place something is going to happen. yeah so, fuck off nothing

COMPANIONS MATTER: lol see above. nope they're still basically "The last Centurion and the Girl Who Waited"

which, defining Rory as the Last Centurion outside of the particular episode in which another version of him was the centurion never made sense to me, sure that's something he did in a part of the story, but it's not really what his character... is. it's just that M*ffat loooves a moniker and it sounds impressive, and also in the last episode, the Doctor said "it's time to stop waiting" there's just nothing! new here! they're never going to be anyone else, or like... just their flipping names

Rory in this version of events/this other different universe is a soldier, and Amy doesn't remember him (I'm assuming Amy remembers the Doctor because they have a bond from back in s5 where her remembering him brought him back from non-existence, I can accept this as an already-established thing), but she does remember someone who she draws completely differently to Rory (hearkening back to Rory not being as manly as Amy's ideal fantasy and I thought we were past that but whatever)

anyway, the Doctor goes up to soldier-Rory and says this: Loyal soldier waiting to be noticed, always the pattern

IS Rory a soldier ever outside of two episodes in s6, both written by M*ffat????? M*ffat has a different, less caring, more "masculine" version of Rory that he writes that is so different from Rory in near every other episode... I don't like this Rory much, because he has no personality outside of "shoot gun/be badass and run after Amy"

I do appreciate that he is about to die and Amy returns to save him (although I have questions about how easy it is to kill "the bad guys" in M*ffat's era)

I will take this from the same exchange as above:

The Doctor (trying to get Rory to go for Amy): she said you were a mr hotti…ness and she would like to go out with you for… texting and scones..."

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: this episode is all about how the Doctor is so special that everything bends towards this Moment In Time, but wait, That Moment is actually all about an even more important Moment that is still to come, also about the Doctor

and the tension of the episode is simply everyone waiting to see what clever thing the Doctor has already done in order to stave off the events this whole season has ostensibly been building up to

River Song at the Doctor: You’ve decided that the universe is better off without you, but the universe doesn’t agree

I mean yes, I enjoy the narratives favourite chewtoy type characters as much as anyone, but the thing is this Doctor isn't that, because the Doctor already has the solution. it's just. doing the exact thing that the episode The God Complex was deconstructing! S I L L Y ! ! !

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: there's a moment here that's kind of quick succession, and goes like this -- the Doctor is avoiding the moment of his death (that is easily avoided), and has a throwaway bit in which he say that Liz the First is forever waiting in a grove to elope with him (gross, stop gross stop with the ongoing Elizabeth the First banged the Doctor jokes stop! It!) or he could just "go and help Rose Tyler with her homework"

I can read this either as M*ffat's penchant of writing whatever he wants in terms of how the timelines of this series go (which is how he does it with Eleven constantly jumping forwards and backwards, up until the point it suddenly can't be done, because M*ffat only has rules when they serve a particular plot point), but I also can pretend/enjoy it from the perspective of "actually I could never go back and help Rose Tyler with her homework, because it's not possible to change how things went down or mess with her timeline, and that's the point, I'm pretending I can do what I want, but I know I can't"

ofc the episode then undermines this point, but still... it's a sweet point

also Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart dies. I didn't remember this in the episode, but I assume it just didn't land with me back in the day because.... who is the Brigadier if you haven't seen classic!who? it's something for the classic!who fans I suppose, but it's literally the moment that makes the Doctor stop running and it's completely unestablished why the Doctor cares about this character or even really who this character is

I'm being pedantic now perhaps, but I think if you're going to bring up classic!who (which I do enjoy) it needs to either be an actual Easter Egg/not affect the plot, oooorrrr it needs to be re-established in this text why this matters, and this does neither

I was sad watching it this time, because I've met the Brigadier now, but it's easy and lazy nostalgia bait

“SEXINESS”: so like. this isn't the worst episode for this, but the worst episode for this is so bad!

aforementioned gross mention of "Liz the first," River Song and the Doctor do boring, annoying flirting in which she mentions his past with Cleopatra (strike two, but at least??? Marilyn Monroe isn't also mentioned)

INTERNAL WORLD: none. nothing. montages of places that will never matter and a pocket universe world in which it seems like they thought two seconds about the functionality of it, I went on a rant above, I'm resisting ranting again, this whole thing is Stupid

POLITICS: there's not really politics. I mean, it's not a very big episode, it's just pretending to be, but in the end it's a couple of specific plotpoints inside a carnival that's on fire

but let's see, there's obviously the complete lack of interest in exploring female characters (including in episodes in which their names appear in the title)

oh and they mention psychopath River again

River: Take a child, raise her into the perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor… who else was I going to fall in love with? fuck offffffffffff fuck off with all of this forever

also the plot culminates in a marriage -- now I was more annoyed when I thought the marriage literally solved the problem, when really it's more a sort of... segue into solving it, but the idea that this is a more important relationship than any the Doctor ever had or is ever going to have is what this plot works so hard to make the central conceit, and the way to prove this is by getting married, which segues into Fixing The Universe

and to be fair, it walked itself into this corner (on purpose) from the moment River Song was introduced, but the way it pretended at mystery as if the answer wasn't always "yeah they got married I guess, in an episode so boring, trying to be so big, that presents the Idea of marriage as the event that is more important than any other in the Universe (not like... individually, in the Universe) that for the Doctor in the same season as we had The Doctor's Wife is framed as more important than any other relationship because it is now defined by Getting Married...."

it's kind of a central problem with River Song and the Doctor, in the end it's... terribly normative. it tries not to be, but its structures struggle to break out of it, even when we get told that River has other partners (never seen, never important, often more of a throwaway innuendo to show how sexy she is), even with the tragedy of them moving backwards (sort of) in their respective timelines, it's still performing alloromantic heteronormative relationship hierarchy (big words meaning They're Straight TM writing)

the possible upside (we shall see) is that maybe now the stupid flipping marriage build-up is done River can be doing other fucking stuff, like being a character

FULL RATING: 37/100 (if I can count….)

okay so, the good. low on literally objectifying female characters on the whole, and isn't the worst on previous doctor who (except for of course saying a big fuck you to every past Companion and important relationship the Doctor has ever had)

and the bad is. that it is bad. bad across the board. it's a bad episode, made worse by everything that was bad before being doubled down on, so that in hindsight all the other bad stuff is also worse, like a horror ride funhouse mirror of non-linear watching reflecting backwards and forwards in time (kind of like M*ffat wishes the River Song and the Doctor's story managed to do, but in bad)

and that is s6. what a wild ride. epic highs and lows indeed!

[quietwingsinthesky]

for the hurt/comfort prompts: the doctor and the tardis, in the swap au?

fun!!! god, i love writing for the tardis. my weird machine wife creature thing. they are having such a fun time together <- lying.

days later edit oh god oh fuck i misread the prompt and wrote about the master instead of the doctor shit fuck shit-

The TARDIS remembers so many of his faces. She has hated him in one life as he tore her engine to pieces slowly, and loved him in another as he tried to repair her and himself, and in another, she devoured him whole without regret for trying to steal her Thief from her.

She sees him shiver as the air goes cold, even beneath his many layers of clothing. Her engine slows mid-flight. She drags in the time vortex, rejecting instruction.

Oh, her Thief. Her Thief. Come back to her in more than echoes, than memories. She still holds his breath inside her walls. His room left waiting, and all the others, all the shrines to everyone lost and never forgotten.

"No," mutters the Time Lord at her console, the one her Thief hates and loves and, yes, just might devour whole, even if he would never admit it. "No, no, what are you doing?" He forces levers into place. She flips them back. He grows angrier at her defiance, and in return, she makes herself colder, uninhabitable. She's meant to be a tomb! She's known that since she was stolen!

How dare he take her! How dare he force her to live!

"I'll take you apart," he threatens. "I'll wipe your memory of him! Is that what you want?" He's shouting at her. He has no idea how small he is. She wants to lose him, throw him somewhere dark and deep inside her and never let him out. She wants to sit here in the vortex until it collapses and takes her with it.

"You don't get to die!" He paces her console, screwdriver in hand, and she is practically daring him to use it on her. She'll reflect the laser back into his hearts. She'll be his tomb, if not her Thief's. "You're all he left me, you don't get to die!" He nearly does, aiming at her engine furiously. Born of self-destruction, this is how he will burn. She feels it, as easily as her Thief might find the end of a scarf. His hand trembles.

Instead, he hits her. She sparks at him. He ignores her, hitting her console again and again. There's no damage he can do like that.

His knuckles split against her. She feels the warm drops of blood hit her. He doesn't stop until his skin has broken across every finger. She doesn't hold a dent.

He makes a noise that tears through the whole of her. A wounded animal howls.

And they are both quiet, succumbing to frostbite.

"Maybe you're trying to impress me," she echoes with her Thief's voice. The Time Lord inside her jumps, and for a moment, his face is full of hope before it collapses in on itself.

"Don't puppet him around," he snaps. "Don't mock me!"

"The alternative would be much worse," she tells him. She sees him clasp his own shaking hands together.

"Stop it," he begs, "stop! I'll erase him. Stop using him to-"

"Tough!" she cuts in, a different voice, his voice, and he barks a laugh that's mostly surprise, ruined still.

She has never named him. He's named himself, of course, they always do. She only ever agreed with one, her River, but all the rest will have to deal with her renaming them. Not him, not ever, for as long as she's known him. She couldn't.

"The alternative is that this is for real, and it's time for us to become friends again," she echoes, her Thief again. He hangs his head, bright blood against his knuckles, pressed into her.

"Were we ever?"

"Do you think so?" she asks him back, another memory of his voice.

"…I won't take him from you." She hears the selfishness beneath the promise, that she holds all that's left of her Thief and he can't let go either. She can live with selfishness.

Her Friend, she thinks. Well, he might grow to it. He might not. She'll call him that all the same.

She lets herself warm up. It will take a while longer before she can convince her engines to run again. He'll have to be patient.

For him, for her, she finds another memory, her Thief's voice ringing through her once again, for as long as she can make him. And her Friend, newly… not forgiven but allowed, tilts his head to hear. "So there's this man. He has a time machine. Up and down history he goes, zip zip zip zip zip, getting into scrapes…"

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically 30

Okay OKAY so we have just watched the Christmas Armistice of 1914, but now we move on to one of my favourite episodes of ALL TIME. In fact, full disclosure, this is one of my favourite TV episodes of anything ever. This is one of my go-to options for comfort TV. If I’m ill and sad and cwtched up on the sofa, this is in the Emergency Elanor First Aid Kit. I love it. I love it so much that I will not be quoting any of it, because if I do, I will be posting the whole script. You cannot imagine the extent to which I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn’t do a full episode review accidentally.

It is 1926, my friends, and this is the Unicorn and the Wasp.

Tennant and Donna are back!!!! DREAM TEAM. We haven’t seen them since they were running around Pompei in episode one, my lord that was a while back now. And Jesus, what a return to quality. The companions have been failing the Sexy Lamp Test for so long. The only break was Martha in the Human Nature two-parter, and that was an emotional wringer. But here!!! Donna!!! You could NEVER replace her with a sexy lamp. She is 1000% the co-protagonist. She and Tennant are best friends and they love each other intensely and platonically and they travel through time and SOLVE CRIME while being, at all moments and seconds of every single scene, two halves of a whole idiot, and it is joyful and wonderful and amazing.

Okay okay so

They land in a country manor in England, a part expertly played by Llansannor Court in Wales if I’m not much mistaken, and the interiors are 1000% Tredegar House because I know my Welsh country manors. The Doctor and Donna get ludicrously excited about going to a garden party in 1926, all giggly. They even go and get dressed up, by which I mean Donna does – she exits the TARDIS and gives a twirl.

“What do you think?” she teases. “Flapper, or slapper?”

“Flapper, definitely,” the Doctor beams. “You look lovely.”

… I am having violent flashbacks to Capaldi calling Clara ugly.

Anyway they meet Agatha Christie in time for an honest-to-god murder mystery. It’s fucking phenomenal. It’s silly and camp and the murderer is a giant wasp, except in true Agatha Christie style, there’s a complicated twist involving a secret pregnancy, an expensive gem, the hot young woman (played by her from Rogue One) actually being an accomplished jewel thief impersonating a socialite, and a prodigal reverend. One of these people is the aforementioned giant wasp, except the joyful sci-fi plot is really running around a playground with a balloon and giggling, so it has been primed to kill people in libraries with lead piping like a Cluedo game.

I literally cannot list every moment I love. It’s just too many. So I shall try to name check some top moments:

“MAIDEN”

“It was a good once”

“I am Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard, and Miss Noble is the plucky young girl who helps me”

“Copyright Donna Noble”

“Major snap out of it. No, right out of it –“

“HOW IS HARVEY WALLBANGER ONE WORD”

The ENITRE reveal scene holy shit

“Ah, let’s see, it’s filed under C” *box contains a Cyberman part, a Carrionite egg, a bust of Caesar, and cables*

Fuck. I just. *clenches fist* I love this episode so damn much

Okay so plot threads. Well! No new info about Donna’s back, unfortunately, so nothing to tick off there. Only, as ever, things to add. There’s a scene where Donna is comforting Agatha (and finding vital clues), and she explains that her last partner ran off with a giant spider. That’s a hell of a thing. Oh, also Donna made her second reference to bees disappearing. But that’s it.

Fuck me but I would burn so much Capaldi for so much more Tennant/Donna.

Anyway the list of plot threads is now going under a read more, Christ on wheels

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

Who was the Doctor’s wife?

What's happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna's ex and a giant spider?

[pia-writes-things]

#river and the fucked up punds' dynamic

ok i'll bite, tell me about it

Ok, so, first, that typo is BURNING my eyes 🥲🥲 I'm so sorry Amy and Rory, I would never disrespect you like that on purpose 🥺

Second, this will basically be my Ways To Heal chapters about the Ponds but in essay form, so if you wanna read the angst-filled version, it's there 🥰

Putting all of my unhinged thoughts under a read more because, as predicted, this ended up quite long. And it wasn't prompted, so I'm glad to know I could really do a presentation about them on the spot ^^

So, to start, you have the Ponds, a couple that started, well, not bad, but not great either. But during the course of the 3 seasons we got them, we saw them choose each other, again and again and again. And everytime they chose each other, every time we saw what perfect life looked like for them, there was a kid in the picture. The most obvious example of that is Amy's choice obviously, but the beginning of season 6 is also a big indicator. When we beging season 6, they're settled. They haven't seen the Doctor in a while and they built a domestic life that is theirs. And later in the first two episodes, you learn that Amy thinks she is pregnant. And she is worried for the baby, for what travelling in the Tardis might have done to it (which, in retrospect, she was right about ^^). Her worry, the fact she wants to talk to the Doctor about it, and the fact that Rory and her started to build a life together on Earth makes me think that they had talked about it, had planned for it, and maybe were considering starting trying. So, clearly, having a baby was really important for them. There are a myriad of other moments when we're shown it was really important for them : when Amy explains to Mme Kovarian why she's more than happy to kill her in The Wedding of River Song, the beginning of season 7 and the whole reason she and Rory are about to divorce, and, whether you believe it to be canon or not, the fact that they adopted a kid in Manhattan. A fundamental fact about Amy and Rory is that they wanted kids together, and didn't get to raise Melody. They had to accept River as their daughter while she was already an adult, and probably older than them. They had to accept also, especially Amy, that her birth meant they couldn't have children of their own anymore. They had to accept that their own daughter was always away, never quite fitting in with them. They had to accept that they would never be the family they wished they had.

On the other hand, you have River. River whose life is entirely in disorder compared to her parents. They met her before they knew who she was. They were her friends before they were her parents. She had to lie to their face countless times to protect time and prevent a paradox. She never got to really experience life as their daughter. We got glimpses in The angels take Manhattan and in The Ruby's curse but that's it. And even then, it's moments in her life, always fleeting.

That's where my first point of the fucked up dynamic appears (admittedly I only have two but whatever). See, an established fact of River and the Doctor's story is that they forbid each other at different moments to change their story in any way shape or form. And that include the Ponds' story as a family. At the end of A good man goes to war, the Doctor promises Amy that he will find her daughter. At the beginning of Let's kill Hitler, he's still looking for her. My personal interpretation is that he either didn't look for her, or made the choice not to intervene. I can't believe that the Doctor, clever as he is, Mr. "The laws of time are mine and they will obey me" couldn't find his best friend's daughter, his wife, as a kid, even though he knew when he last saw her. At this point in season 6, he knows the kid in 1969 is River. So, my personal headcanon is that he chose not to look for her, or not to bring her back to Amy and Rory. Because, and that's the thing, if he'd found Melody, she would not become River. If Melody got to be raised by the Ponds and not the Silence, she would never have become River. So, to keep his promise to Amy, he would have had to break the one he did to his wife when she was dying. And he just couldn't do that. So, indirectly, River was responsible for her own fucked up childhood. She was responsible for her parent's unhappiness. Even if it wasn't her direct responsibility, the consequences and implications are there. And, I think, as a daughter, that is a very fucked up thing to know and realise. And River being River, knowing so much about everyone and being so used to being out of order, I think she knew. She knew she was a paradox and the Doctor couldn't change anything about her history. She didn't know about her death and what she told him then, but she knew the rest. So she always knew they were doomed from the start as a family.

Which ties to my second point about their fucked up dynamic. River never got to be raised by her parents. At most, Rory and Amy were her "parent-friends" when they were kids. But it's not the same thing. So, knowing that, knowing all that we said in the precedent paragraph, and knowing that she was raised by Mme Kovarian and the Silence, I think that "Hiding the damages" is as much the Doctor's fault as it is indirectly the Ponds' faults. I think we can all agree that River had a very fucked up, beyond traumatizing, childhood. She didn't have any parents, she was shot at by her own mother (again, not Amy's fault, she didn't know, but still), she was brainwashed, trained to kill, and, weirdly, Mme Kovarin doesn't strike me as a very nurturing parental figure (*irony itensifies*). She never had anyone who could really listen to her, or even know her completely. As a child, no one ever knew her real self, or no one bothered to learn to know her. She was either a future weapon or a story designed to fit in Leadworth. Her parents weren't there for her when she needed them, or they couldn't really be her parents. And - and !- tying all this up with my precedent point, when they finally got to be her parents, she had to live with the fact that her birth, her story, fucked them up beyond measure. She was, though it wasn't her fault, partially responsible for their unhappiness. So, she learned to hide the damages. She kept lying, like she had always done, she kept the pretense of being a good psychopath with no feelings, because it's easier than showing to her parents how much exactly her own story fucked them and her up.

And, I think this will be my conclusion, to me, River being a psychopath is actually just her being traumatised and coping unhealthily. We never really saw her being a real psychopath, or at least a cold-hearted assassin who would shoot at anyone like the show tries to imply she is. She has feelings, and she shows them all the time. Even in The Husband of River Song or Let's kill Hitler, which are the episodes where they try to show River being a psychopath, she isn't really one. The people she wants to kill are themselves assassins, or the person she was literally brainwashed to hate. And she doesn't even really want to kill them for the most part, only scam them. Even the Doctor, in the end, she saves him. To me, River's "psychopath" tendencies, her selfishness that so many people in the fandom hold against her, are just the ways she found to cope with her traumas. It's the only way she found to cope with lying all the time, never having the stability of knowing people and people she loves knowing her. It's easier for her to pretend she is what Mme Kovarian and the Silence wanted to make her that actually showing her true self, when half the time, no one is there to receive it. It's easier to be that way than to be vulnerable. Especially because every time she was vulnerable in her life, it ended badly for her.

So, tldr: River is very fucked up by her childhood and that informs her relationship with her parents, as well as the relationship between her parents. I love them all very much, and they love each other, but apart from Marisa, Asriel and Lyra in His dark materials, the Ponds are probably the most fucked up fictional family I know.

Also, a lot of this essay is based on my interpretations of canon, the characters, and some plotholes Moffat gave us, so I know I might be wrong or biased on some points. But here, you have my rotating thoughts about them! I think about this more than I care to admit tbh ^^

[a-french-coconut]

Part 1

One year ago, he opened his eyes and saw darkness as water engulfed him. His whole body hurt but he found the strength to get out of the river.

He has no idea of where he is or who he is.

A rescue team found him there, laying on the filthy ground, and took him to the hospital. Three ribs broken, lung punctured, a blow to the head and internal bleeding. The doctor said it was a miracle he was still alive when they found him.

Amnesia caused by the blow to his head they say. He must have fallen from somewhere when a freaky tempest hit Manhattan.

The doctor said that surely a missing poster about him will be put on the streets and he will go back home. However he cannot stay at the hospital now that he is fully healed and will be put in foster care.

Days turns into weeks and weeks into months and not one fucking poster with his face or name on it.

Maybe he's been alone since he was born.

Maybe his family just wanted a reason to abandon him.

Who the fuck knows ?

He is not going to dwell on people he never met and maybe never existed. Even more, the scars lingering his body tend to make him think he lived on the streets. No parent can be twisted enough to scar their child with arrows and daggers.

The other children at the orphanage are scared of him and don't come near him. Good for them because he finds them very annoying and bratty. He is sure the supervisor thinks the same thing about him, he heard her mumbling "that boy may only be 4'6 but he sure has another two feet of attitude".

There is never one moment where he is at peace and that worsens his already hot temperament. He snaps at anyone coming too close to him, hands always reaching for something that is not there, his body remembering what his mind does not. One kid tries to touch him while they playing tag. He ends up with a broken arm and him with a scolding from the director.

Not remembering anything is bad enough for anyone. Seeing fucking monsters who seems straight out of horror movies is even worse.

A girl with a donkey leg. A giant with one eye. A massive dog with claws and red eyes.

They ignore him so he'll happily ignore them now (even if his instincts are screaming at him to kill the bastards).

It's been one year since his new miserable life began and he stopped entertaining the idea that someone out there is looking for him. He blows weakly on his birthday cake (he doesn't even know his age. The director guessed that he must be 11 years old, like the other boys. He hopes not. Otherwise it means that his comrades are fucking slow), ignoring the tear sliding down his face.

I'm sure you guessed who it is but not tagging him until I reveal his name 😆

part 2 and 3 posted !