#the way we used to talk back then fascinates me it’s
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gf2bellamy · 3 days ago
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ramble — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x reader ( no use of y/n ) summary: spencer reid rambling but you don't mind content warnings: ppl being bored of spencer's ramble
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The bullpen was alive with the usual hum of chatter that masked the team's half-hearted attempts at paperwork. While case files sat open on their desks, the atmosphere was anything but productive. 
Derek leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed behind his head as he finished a story about a failed flirtation. “And she didn’t even recognize me,” he groaned, slumping forward dramatically. “I mean, come on. I was unforgettable.” 
Penelope didn’t miss a beat, rolling her eyes and waving a hand in mock exasperation. “Oh, poor Derek. How ever will your ego survive such a tragedy?” 
You laughed at their exchange, shaking your head at Derek’s overly dramatic retelling. Across the bullpen, Spencer sat at his desk, directly in front of yours. He glanced up from his file, his fingers tapping absentmindedly on the desk. 
“Did you know,” Spencer began, his voice cutting through the banter, “that statistically speaking, people are more likely to remember faces than names? It’s due to the fusiform face area in the brain, which is specifically attuned to facial recognition. The process of encoding a face involves—” 
As Spencer launched into his explanation, you turned your full attention to him, your curiosity piqued. You watched the way his hands moved as he spoke, punctuating his words with small, precise gestures. 
Before you could ask him to elaborate, Derek cut in with a grin. “Thanks for the fun fact, pretty boy, but I think I zoned out halfway through that one.” 
Garcia, always quick to follow suit, added with a teasing smile, “Spence, we love you, but you’ve gotta learn to cut your TED Talks into soundbites.” 
The teasing was lighthearted, but Spencer’s shoulders slumped slightly as he glanced back down at his papers. He muttered a soft “sorry” before awkwardly adjusting his pen. 
You glanced between Derek and Garcia, who had already resumed their playful bickering, and felt a pang of frustration. 
“Spence,” you said gently, calling his attention. 
He lifted his head, his hazel eyes meeting yours with a hesitant curiosity. “Yeah?” 
You gave him a warm smile, leaning forward slightly. “I was actually going to ask you something about what you just said. How does the brain distinguish between similar faces? Like, how does it know to pick out subtle differences?” 
His expression lit up, the hesitation melting away as he straightened in his seat. “Oh! That’s a great question. It has to do with the way our brains process fine details, like the spacing between eyes or the curve of someone’s lips and—” 
As Spencer explained, his voice grew more confident, and the enthusiasm in his tone was infectious. You nodded along, genuinely fascinated, occasionally asking follow-up questions to keep him going. 
Derek, noticing the exchange, leaned over to Garcia with a raised brow. “Looks like someone actually appreciates the genius over there.” 
Garcia smirked, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “About time someone did.” 
Unaware of their comments, Spencer finished his explanation, a small, proud smile tugging at his lips. “Does that make sense?” he asked, his gaze searching yours. 
“Completely,” you replied with a grin. “Thanks for explaining.” 
For a moment, Spencer just looked at you, his face softening. “You’re welcome,” he said, his voice quieter now but filled with a kind of gratitude that was hard to miss. 
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thievinghippo · 2 days ago
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46 for Emmrich/Edda! Or Sonnet if you prefer :)
A kiss out of envy or jealousy for Emmrich and Edda! This is set during the 'Blood of Arlathan' quest
#
“Do you think the Antaam gossip about you as much as the Venatori apparently do?”
“Ugh, Neve, don’t remind me,” Rook says, finishing up the buckles on her gambeson. She is so grateful to be out of that itchy Venatori armor it’s not even funny. Hopefully they’ll all move faster through the camp now that they’re in their regular gear. They have to find the Dalish. And quick. “As if they could ever turn me.”
“Fair point,” Neve says as she adjusts her fascinator. “Emmrich might have called that one a fan, but to me, it sounded more like a bit of a crush.”
Rook lets out a laugh. She can’t help it. “I am not the type of person people crush on.” She looks over at Emmrich and smiles. The dopey one that only he ever gets to see. “With one really big exception standing right over there.” A horrible thought crosses her mind. “Wait. Emmrich, do you still have a crush on me? Or are we past that stage already?”
“I most assuredly do, my darling.”
“Phew. Good. I still have a crush on you, too.”
“That is very gratifying to hear.”
Neve shakes her head. “You two are ridiculous. Stop me if I ever sound like that about Lucanis.”
Rook fake coughs. “Seafood and candlelight.”
“Fair. I’ll give you that one.”
Once Rook straps her shield to her back, she looks at Emmrich and Neve. “Ready to head out?” She’s not sure where exactly they need to go, but they need to get away from the main Venatori forces. Ideally soon.
“If you would excuse us for just a moment, Neve,” Emmrich says, sounding far too serious for a man who has a crush on her. “Rook, a word?”
He’s already marching off to a small alcove and all Rook can do is look at Neve and shrug. “I think I’m in trouble,” she whispers, wondering what could Emmrich possibly want to talk to her about. When they’re in the middle of a Venatori camp. “I’ll make this quick.”
 Rook follows Emmrich into the alcove. Who is already down on one knee. Which usually only means one thing for them. She takes a step closer and isn’t surprised in the slightest when he grabs her hand and pulls her into his arms.
He kisses her then, first hard and demanding, before making way for soft and slow. When they break apart, Rook palms his cheek. “What in the world was that for?”
“I just… That Venatori. I don’t like the way he said your name, Rook.”
Rook hooks her hands behind Emmrich’s neck and leans back, just a bit. This is most certainly a surprising development. She didn’t think the man had a jealous bone in his body. But maybe this isn’t jealousy, per say. Maybe it’s something else. And when they aren’t in the middle of a rescue mission, Rook will take the time to think about that.
“Would it help if I told you that the way you say my name is my favorite?”
Emmrich nods, and Rook can’t help but lean in for another quick kiss.
“And you smell absolutely lovely. No Venatori deserves that knowledge,” he says, running his fingers through her ponytail.
“I smell like dirty laundry and blood,” Rook says with a laugh. “But I did use that lavender talcum powder you gave me this morning. So maybe I don’t smell all that bad.”
Rook bites her lip as Emmrich leans in, kissing her neck, before taking an exaggerated sniff. “Don’t think I didn’t notice, darling. Like I said. Lovely.”
If only they could stay in this little alcove for the rest of the afternoon. But they can’t waste any more time as they look for the Dalish. Maybe once the Dalish are safe and this area is cleared from Venatori forces…
“One more kiss,” Rook says, before doing just that. They really need to find more time during the day for kissing. Would be good for morale. Her morale, specifically, and probably his, too.
Emmrich stands but doesn’t let go of her hand. All Rook can do is blush as he brings her fingers to his lips. He is absolutely getting laid tonight, assuming they both survive.
Rook jogs a few steps, then stops, looking over her shoulder. Emmrich is right there behind her.
She grins. “Now lets go save the day."
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miraculouslbcnreactions · 3 days ago
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your “sentimonsters vs tropes” post made me realize how sentimonsters don’t work as a metaphor for marginalized people despite what other people say, because even if it was intentional, the show doesn’t acknowledge the fact that the majority of them get killed by the heroes, including Adrien and Felix (who are part of their race). Honestly, it makes me wonder if Miraculous ever did some sort of allegory right at all
(Post in question)
Before we get into it, I wanted to quickly define allegory in case that's a new or forgotten term for anyone as it's hardly common parlance:
An allegory is a narrative or visual representation in which a character, place, or event can be interpreted to represent a meaning with moral or political significance. Authors have used allegory throughout history in all forms of art to illustrate or convey complex ideas and concepts in ways that are comprehensible or striking to its viewers, readers, or listeners.
In the linked post, I chastised canon for not using the sentikids to say anything about personhood or self worth. While I stand by that, I will also give canon credit for the fact that sentimonsters as a race are not presented as a clear allegory for anything. The sentimonsters that weren't meant to be equal to humans are just worthless akuma knockoffs created to act as canon fodder. The human-equivalent sentimonsters are basically perfect humans who happen to have remote controls. You are never supposed to think about the implications of that frankly bizarre difference. There is not meant to be a deeper message and that's the right call because, when you look at the setup we just went over, you quickly realize canon didn't set itself up to make the sentimonster race an allegory for anything but eugenics.
While you can argue that canon is eugenics apologia, that is very clearly not intentional. I don't worry about kids walking away thinking eugenics are good because you only get that as a takeaway if you're actively searching for a message in canon's writing. There is no on-screen discussion of which sentimonsters are okay to kill or any other type of blatant allegory for eugenics. If eugenics = good is the intended message, then it's incredibly subtle.
While plot-level* allegory can be subtle, that tends to be rare in family-oriented media as the point of allegory is to convey a message. If no one is picking up on the message, then you've failed to make your point. That's why no one is watching Zootopia or Elemental and walking away asking, "Huh, I wonder what that film was trying to teach kids?"
Miraculous doesn't have anything that stands out as a clear allegory like I'd expect if the intent was to use allegory to teach kids something. I'd normally say that means there was no intentional allegory in the show, but we have straight up insane statements from the writers like this one about the season five final:
In the next scene, we can see Marinette taking the miraculous that have been standardized and industrialized by Gabriel and putting them back in shape. The writers specify that this is a parable about craftsmanship vs industrial production. The miraculous will now be adapted to every person, but we can’t see what they look like just yet! In this new world, the powers are all shared, among people who they trust and know will work for the common good.
Did anyone get this from the show? I certainly didn't. With the writers making statements like this, who even knows what messages they're trying to send. Between this and the reveal that Lila learned about Gabriel by reading Nathalie's lips in the season four final, I've given up trying to figure out what these loons are doing with their wacky storytelling. It's always fascinating to hear them talk about the story they think they've told versus what the average viewer came away thinking. I have never once seen a fan get the Lila thing. Everyone I've seen thought she was just evilly enjoying Nathalie's suffering, but it's pretty clear that the writers are quite proud of this and think it was a great choice! You know what would have been an even better choice? Letting Lila read lips at any point before or even after that scene to establish this is a skill she has. That's basic setup and payoff! Storytelling 101!
*As a quick clarification, when I said "plot-level allegory" that was me trying to find a term to convey the sort of high-level, in-your-face allegory writers use when actively trying to clearly convey a message to the audience. There are lots of works that have no obvious allegory, but actually contain subtle allegory for those who enjoy analysis or a select group that's in the know. Something the author had fun playing with, but doesn't expect the audience to get.
An example of more subtle allegory that comes to mind is The Little Mermaid. There are many valid queer readings of both the original story and the popular Disney film, especially since the book was written by an openly bisexual man after a man he loved got engaged to a woman and one of the movie's producers/major creative influences was an openly gay man. These fact have lead many to argue that the stories were always meant to be about queer acceptance on some level as opposed to the stories simply being ones that can be used to discuss that topic in spite of the author never intending that. (Which doesn't invalidate the value of a reading, btw. As far as I'm concerned, author intentionality only matters in very specific types of discussion. Most of the time, I'm a death-of-the-author girl.)
However, even if the two works are meant to be an allegory for acceptance of "alternate" sexuality, you'd be hard pressed to argue that the allegory is presented in a way that the average viewer is going to get. Everyone gets that Zootopia is all about prejudice being bad. I generally hear Disney's The Little Mermaid described as a silly fairy tale about "a girl giving up everything for a man" even though that's only true for the original story.
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matenr0u · 1 year ago
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While deep sea diving in the web archive I stumbled upon some neat bits of Kingdom Hearts fandom history, like this— what may be the first ever “Riku is Gay” essay (in English).
The first snapshot of the page is from 26th November 2002, just after the international release of KH. Soriku really been out here since day 1…
The purple prose dates it a lot but I didn’t notice any blatant Kairi bashing, which is impressive. It’s interesting that Riku’s complicated feelings for Sora have been documented even as early as 2002, pointing to the same subtext fans discuss even 20 years later.
Here’s a link to the essay: Dissertation on Riku x Sora by Ruaki
“In the end, Riku fell into the 'as long as he's happy' mentality. A much needed noble gesture on his part, but who can say what the future holds for him?“
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puppppppppy · 8 months ago
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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fictionadventurer · 9 months ago
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All the tour groups in Springfield should be very proud of me for how well I refrained from sharing all my fascinating Lincoln facts.
#there were so many school groups!#a giant one came in RIGHT AFTER i entered lincoln's cabinet room#part of me was screaming 'children i NEED to tell you about all these idiots and their insane drama!'#a smarter part of me understood that would be super weird#so instead i regaled different individuals of my own traveling party after we had the room to ourselves#then at lincoln's tomb we lucked out in getting there during the ten minutes of the day when school groups weren't there#which meant we got a personal tour from a guide who seemed thrilled to have grown-ups to talk to#he and my dad chatted about fishing for a long while in the entry#it didn't feel disrespectful because it totally felt like the kind of conversation lincoln would have understood and joined in on#and then we went on our way but the guide then chased us down to share all the fascinating lincoln stories as we went along#(shout-out to lefty you were great)#and then a school group found us so we made a graceful exit#but outside a teacher was explaining to a different group about how robert was significant in his own right so he's buried at arlington#and the RESTRAINT i showed in not immediately informing them that he was present at three presidential assassinations! it was rather heroic#and then when we toured lincoln's house the guide (who accidentally made it clear he was a revolutionary war buff)#(which made it a bit hilarious he was stuck with lincoln)#asked for questions before we started and someone asked about lincoln's 1860 election campaign!#aka one of my SPECIAL NICHE AREAS OF OBSESSION!#you cannot imagine how desperately i wanted to tell him ALL ABOUT seward and thurlow weed#anyway it was fun to go back now that i actually know stuff about lincoln#but it was also a bit frustrating because now i know how much they leave out#(though there was cool new info and artifacts)#(the blood-stained piece of laura keene's dress was very morbid and very cool)#also it reminded me that i still have that book on the 1860 election i've yet to read and the hype is so real#presidential talk
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...
BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH
Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.
ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭
On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭
But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...
And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]
JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT
ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers
YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ
no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..
wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)
OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..
#long post#snap chats#when it comes to Famous Persons Coming Back i was also just like 'theres no way they could get george takei back right'#LISTEN i know the eng dub is not to be spoken of but it exists and it cant be denied takei's REALLY prolific in the states yeah#so i HAD to ask it was WORTH asking myself. unless they decide to swap arakawa's eng VA but w/e its not overly important#moving on. its ok most people dont read anyway no worries about missing a subtitle </3 a painful reality but. we take W's where we can.#OH BUT TO END /MY/ NIGHT THO i LOVED One Missed Call UGH such a good horror movie#i wanna watch it with my dad so bad he loves horror/suspenseful movies and we used to watch em whenever id visit him#KYOUEN'S A DARLING OF A SHOW SO FAR I THINK IVE SAID THAT ENOUGH but yeah......... BIG love........#i'm almost done with it. if i said i finished it earlier i think i lied i cant remember POINT IS I JUST HAVE THREE EPS#i plan on watching them before stream time tomorrow so that'll be cute :]#buuuut speaking of finishing watching things i Just finished watching the first We Make Antiques movie and UGH#love. love love love it was so silly but also really fascinating to watch... team of forgers thats WILD and i loved it..#i wish i had access to the sequels tho like PLEAASE i wanna watch these two be losers more....#they became domestic with each other so quickly like goddamn.. money can do anything#it can make two dudes trying to con each other work together.. its beautiful.....#ok now thats all from ME for tonight. id talk more on the jo and aoki bits but theres a good chance ill do that during stream#or. ill draw it during stream. me drawing is the same as me talking now innit Let My Bullshit Speak For Me etc etc#ok thats all from me fr this time BYE
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honeyvenommusic · 10 months ago
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#the idol system is such a fascinating and scary thing to me#like hearing shit over the years it's like how does anyone survive it?#(i'm staying away from all the anti-blackness of kpop & their fandoms rn so just the system)#((that was more for me bc my brain wants to go in that direction bc hooooooo. it's the main reason i cannot vibe w more than a few songs#over the last almost 15 years cause like knowing.... anyway))#like i just got groundfloored w a group rn via jbrekkie shoutout michelle like literally their debut is 24 hrs from now i've rabbitholed#since i heard their snippet on her vid and like the way ppl talk about it already like... as an outsider it's like alriiiight here we goo#they're (mgmt) pipelining another group of ppl let's be sure to support it! streamstreamvote!! oo it looks like their taking the toy/doll#route w these girls super aesthetic let's goo. & like......????? and ppl are already rabid about it. it's wild. and like this is the system#this is it. they make groups and then tease and the people who follow the conglomerate see it and are waiting to#be fed another x amount of folks doing formations and looking cute/hot open wide and consume#(like ik some (or a lot) of those accnts are bots/plants to pad the release and gain traction against algos but like also real folks too)#like not to discredit their vocal work (&dancing though some (alot) of these grps are not nearly as lit w 'dancing' as folks hype em up to#be Frfr. good movers/formations/camera motion & body rolls do not a dancer/good choreo make) but it's really secondary for a lot of#folks atp it's so strange & fascinating. and like i dug the song that's why i'm here so no knock against that but just the factory of it al#it's so damn WILD to me. but at the same time let's be real here. same dish different kitchen for a lot of western pop#they're just more transparent about it and have streamlined finding their popstars & having the public be great w it#it's just... i think it would be less strange if stan culture wasn't a thing or at least more mild than it is now#if it wasn't blown up to this unfathomably massive ever-churning industry by people in literal droves#idk idk i have a lot of thoughts on kpop it's truly a very interesting thing and to have been aware of it and into it to#an extent a while before the sonic boom in the west is an incredibly wild thing to look back on#like i wanna follow this (mostly cause i wanna hear the whole song) but also v curious but also like man the system is bad for many#reasons & here's another batch on the conveyor belt. idk :/#like as long as the participants are happy and healthy and being actually taken care of and not advantage of then great but#yk. the music industry at large is horrible (and esp to women) so like. god ide wanna think about the disparities btwn girl & boy groups#(like to start are they not referred to as 'male groups' on the reg but 'girl groups' more often than 'female'? always w the infantalizing#like given girl group has way more ring than female group but the words still conjure up different things it's just how language works#but boy group idk if i've ever really heard someone use that? and there's been a long time battle w the reclamation of 'boy band'#like it's still dirty for a lot of folks but anyway v western context but there's a large fanbase here so many fans speak as such#this is what we call our own pop groups etc. and it's just interesting and sad idk anyway it's just... huuuhhh a lot.) ok gn lol
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cinnamorollcrybaby · 3 months ago
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Doting
Tags: jjk men as dads, tooth-rotting fluff, comfort drabbles
Synopsis: How the JJK men treat you while pregnant (spoiler warning- they dote on you.)
An: This is my formal apology for writing Nanami angst on the “Baby’s first words” post 😔 it will never happen again (can we stop with the death threats now?)
SATORU • SUGURU • TOJI • SUKUNA • NANAMI
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SATORU
Oh, your loving husband is all over you while you’re pregnant. He genuinely has such a cute fascination with all the changes your body is going through. He seriously thinks you’re so strong for carrying his heir.
He loves rubbing your bump. In fact, he will always be touching it in some form or fashion while you two are together. When he’s away on missions, he has you send him pictures and updates on your pregnancy as if anything major has changed in a couple of days.
You best believe he is ready to indulge you on your every craving, no matter how strange. It’s three a.m and you’re crying because you need that specific brand of chicken wings and a can of whip cream? He’s heading to the store immediately to fetch whatever you tell him to.
He genuinely worries about being a good dad. Many nights he lays his head on your bump and talks to you about how teaching didn’t come naturally to him. He wasn’t born knowing how to meet people where they’re at. He use to expect people to be able to meet him on his level. He worries that he may inadvertently put a lot of pressure on his kid, and that’s the last thing he wants due to how he was raised. He just wants his kid to be a kid.
He’s the best, most loving and compassionate dad to your baby, more than you could ever hope for. Even if teaching didn’t come to him naturally, being a father did.
SUGURU
He’s such a “sit down and let me do it for you” while you’re pregnant. He cooks, cleans, works, and tends to you completely throughout your pregnancy.
Suguru gets hyper fixated on your health during pregnancy. He only feeds you the yummiest and healthiest foods while you’re pregnant. He encourages for you to sit on the yoga ball and do (very) light exercises. He just wants the best for you and his baby.
Whenever I said he tends to you, I genuinely mean he tends to you. He’ll gently brush your hair at night time, rub your back when your belly is becoming heavy to carry around, serve your breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, carries around emesis bags and breath mints for if you get morning sickness while you two are out.
This man is the king of enforcing your boundaries to people when they don’t listen. That really annoying family member that insists on being there for the birth even though you’ve already explained to them that you want this to be an experience for just you and Geto? Yeah, he’s made it very clear to them that they will not be at the birth if they want to be in your kid’s life.
He is absolutely not afraid to hurt feelings if it means his wife and future child are safe and cared for. He really don’t give a fuck who anyone else is. You and his child are first priority.
TOJI
Toji is definitely the type to express his love and devotion for you in other ways than the most conventional methods.
He is so incredibly gentle while you’re pregnant. He doesn’t rile you up as much or play fight with you anymore. He constantly reminds himself that you’re carrying another life inside you and that you have enough on your plate.
This man… whew does he love seeing you pregnant. Toji’s the type of man to feel so feral when he looks at you heavily pregnant with his kid.
He adores your body. He’ll rub lotion all over you and oils to help your skin accommodate to the stretch of carrying a kid. He massages your body and absolutely worships it while he’s rubbing the lotion and oil on you.
Your breasts are sore? He’ll gently massage them until they feel better. Your back hurts? He’d be the type to lift your bump up and take the weight off you for as long as you ask him to so you can feel relaxed for a few minutes.
And look this is probably TMI but like, if you got a clogged milk duct due to breastfeeding, Toji would unfortunately be the type of man to fix that issue with his mouth. i’m sorry but he would.
Final thing is, you better believe that he doesn’t allow anyone to get too close to you. He is so unbelievably protective over you while you’re pregnant. If he could, he’d lock you up at home to prevent anyone from getting close to you.
SUKUNA
On the outside, he acts very nonchalant and unbothered by your pregnancy. On the inside, he is constantly plagued by the thought that your body may not be able to carry his heir. The thought of losing you or his child haunts him.
He will secretly observe and take notes on your body and how it is changing. If he catches you expressing any sort of short windedness, he will immediately send you off to bed rest. Though, you’re usually able to convince him to take you off of it by the next day.
The only servant he trusts to tend to you is Uraume. No one else in his court is allowed to be anywhere near you unless he gives specific instructions. Still, he hates leaving you in the care of Uraume. He trusts them, but he wants to be the one to take care of you.
He loves holding your body close to him at night. All four arms are wrapped around you and holding you closely. Since he doesn’t need much sleep, he will stay awake rubbing on your tummy all night long. One time, he felt the baby moving in your stomach while you were asleep. He was so intrigued that he woke you up and told you to “make them do it again”.
Now, he will randomly approach you at any given time while you’re heavily pregnant and hold his hand out so he can feel his baby moving around inside of you. It soothes his worry.
During birth, Sukuna was a complete mess. The amount of blood lost during birth fucking terrified him. He was panicking and yelling at anyone to do something to save you, even while everyone was assuring him that you’re okay and this was natural.
After 9 long excruciating months of extreme worry and constant fear, he finally feels peace when he’s cradling a newborn in his arm and a sleeping wife in the other arm. All of his hard work to protect you paid off he thinks.
NANAMI
Oh, to be pregnant by the king of domestic love himself.
Nanami is the type of man to immediately start working on a nursery for you as soon as you reveal to him that you’re pregnant. He immediately changes the guest bedroom into a nursery that you design for your little baby.
He reads up on all the parenting books and articles. He’s constantly compiling things to either do or to not do during pregnancy and even while raising a kid.
Like Geto, he tends to your every need. He is a total house husband all while working 40 hours a week. When he’s at work, he is constantly calling and texting you to make sure that you’re okay and taking care of yourself, but let’s be fr he literally did everything for you before he even left for work (meal prepped for you, set out your clothes for you, put out all your self care items in case you want to bathe).
When you express concerns of your body getting bigger to him, he does everything in his power to show you that he loves and respects your body for creating life. He literally cherishes and worships your body for hours if you let him.
Like Toji, Nanami is protective over you. He constantly has an arm around you if you two are in public, and he watches everyone who dares to get close to you like a hawk. If he gets a bad vibe about anyone, he’s immediately stepping in front of you and taking over the conversation.
Nanami is the best partner to have during birth. His reading of articles during your pregnancy really paid off. He is supportive without being overbearing. He listens to your needs and tends to you without question. Constant praise and encouragement while you’re giving birth. The moment he gets to snuggle with you and the baby is the moment he realizes that he cultivated the life of his dreams. He has the family he always wanted.
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hms-no-fun · 3 months ago
Note
Whats your stance on A.I.?
imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!
like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.
but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!
so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.
consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.
but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!
see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???
so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.
i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.
(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)
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joycrispy · 1 year ago
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I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.
Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."
Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.
Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.
Something like this:
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We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--
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--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.
But it turns out he was this:
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!!!
With his curly little--!!
And his neat white--!!
IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:
"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."
(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)
In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.
In sum...an innocent.
(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.
We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.
Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)
So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--
*checks notes*
--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.
...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.
All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?
He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.
That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...
...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.
Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."
And what reason does he give?
("I know you."
"You do not know me."
"I know the angel you were.")
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
("The angel you knew is not me."
But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)
tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.
'Innocence died screaming' and all that.
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slutofpsh · 1 month ago
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strip for me.
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part seven | sjy.
pairings: hyungline x reader
synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.
wc: 8k.
warnings: smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. having small sips of champagne. this is not proof read.
note: hi, who missed me? i finally had the courage to come back and share the next part of strip for me series. i hope you understand that i needed to take some time off. anyway, have fun reading jake’s part. please reblog and send me some feedbacks.
part one; two; three; four; five; six
slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.
“are you sure that you won’t have breakfast?” the sweet voice of your mom echoes through the hallway of the house.
“yes, mom.” and with that you gave her a small wave before exiting the house.
it was a saturday morning and the boys planned to have breakfast together. you also have a project to discuss so its a perfect chance to gather before jake enjoys the rest of the day with you.
yes, its his turn to have a date with you. there’s so much anticipation on how it will be spent. jake’s very adorable and he couldn’t stop talking about how excited he is for this day. ever since heeseung and jay had their dates, he just couldn’t wait for his turn.
“sweetheart!” jake waves at you while leaning over his car. he had texted you minutes ago of his arrival and so it isn’t a surprise to see his big smiles.
you waved back and hurried your way towards him. he pushed himself off from his vehicle and run to meet you half-way, can’t wait anymore.
he wraps his strong arms around your waist for a hug and even swirls you around, making you burst into giggles.
“i missed you!” he exclaimed and peppered your face with soft kisses.
“we saw each other yesterday at school.”
he pouts as he sets you down, “still...” his thick lips caught your attention. it was his best asset. he’s very attractive and his features sure goes along perfectly with each other, but for some reasons his lips always manages to steal the spotlight.
“don’t you miss me?” his puppy eyes melts you instantly as he even gave this sorrowful look on his eyes.
and like a helpless girl under his spell you’ve surrendered completely to him. soft caress is what you gave both of his cheeks then smiled softly.
“of course i missed you.” you utters sincerely that brought joy to him.
he smirks then leans in for a kiss at your lips. it lasted for a few seconds, him refusing to let you go right away.
jake’s clingy. out of all of them, he’s the one who can’t seem to keep his hands off of you. he craves for your touch most of the times. every chances he gets to lay his skin in touch with you, he will take it with no hesitation.
“i love you!” he sweetly says that made you smile even wider.
“i love you too, jakey.”
the puppy like gentlemen brightens at what he heard and then guided you to his car. with a hand holding your arm gently, he leads you inside. one hand rests on top of your head, making sure you won’t bump it.
he soon walks around to ride as well then made sure you’re all buckled up before starting to drive.
you rarely see him drive and you can say that he looks hella attractive when he’s this focused on something. the way his arms flexed while manoeuvring the steering wheel makes your stomach churns. its fascinating how everything he does just adds up to his charms.
“do we really have to meet them? why don’t we just ditch them and do something fun?” he suggested. you knew he was just joking, well half of it was not a joke. he does want you all for himself today.
“we still need to discuss something about the project, jake.”
he sighs, “they can do it without us.” he respond right away that made you chuckle.
“jake...” you’re smiling softly at him and he glanced at you with a small grin on his handsome face.
he rolled his eyes jokingly, “fine.” he surrenders and rest his hand on your thigh, patting it gently.
your eyes dropped on it and blushed right away. he’s always touchy around you so this is nothing new. its just, he still caught you off-guard from time to time.
you cleared your throat trying to distract yourself from how jake’s hand feels so warm on your skin.
“w-where are we meeting them?”
he glanced at you, “at (restaurant name).”
you nodded your head and just watch outside the window. your hand rest on top of his, playing through his fingers.
“you look so damn good, sweets.” he suddenly blurted that made you whip your head at his direction.
his eyes are on the road, cheeks tinted red and his lower lip caught in between his teeth.
“t-that’s so random.”
he chuckles and tilted his head to the side. he was quiet for a while before he suddenly drove the car inside this open parking lot.
“this won’t do...” he whispered that you managed to hear. when you noticed that this isn’t the place where you will meet the others, you gave jake a confused look.
“why are we stopping here?”
jake’s already unclasping his seatbelt and eyes staring at you. “i just want to show you how beautiful you look, sweets.”
“h-huh...” and even before you can say anything else, jake already pulled your face close to his. lips clashing over yours a bit too aggressive.
jake wanted to go slow for today. his plan is to not do anything like this until it was his turn to have his date with you. but when you walked out from the door of your house looking so beautiful, he can’t contain his own feelings.
you moaned, arms wrapping around his nape and trying to pull him closer while still lips locked with him. he tastes so sweet, so good for you. his perfectly sculpted lips dancing along with yours, tongue sliding in giving you a taste of his sweet saliva is driving you insane.
“ride me.” he whispers after pulling away, forehead rests on yours.
“b-but...” you’re panting from the make out.
jake kisses you, “i want you so bad.” he whispers desperately that made you gulped. heart thumping so loudly for feeling too much for jake sim.
his arm slid on your waist to guide you on top of him. once again, lips locks with each other, sharing messy kisses. his touch felt hot, like it burns your skin in the best way.
“ride me good, sweets.” he smirks as he unzips his pants to pull out his already hard cock.
despite feeling a bit shocked by this sudden turn of event, you cannot deny the arousal slowly taking over you. he just looked so good and the way he’s always so desperate to be inside you just makes you feel things. while he’s revealing his veiny cock, you reached for your underwear to slide it to the side.
“you ready?” he whispers erotically. he just couldn’t wait to feel your tightness around him. he’s so eager for it.
a nod is all you gave him as answer. he bit his lower lip, eyes half-lidded full of lust and love for you. with both of his hands rested on your hips he slowly guided you down his erect cock. a strained moan escapes your lips, as well as jake’s. it was like music to your ears.
“so tight for me sweets... feel so good.” he whispers near your ear than instantly sent shivers to your spine.
you can’t put your thoughts together as his length just takes away your ability to compose any words to say. the way it fills you up is like puzzle piece. meant to be filled by his throbbing dick.
jake didn’t moved right away, he let himself take time on feeling every inch of you. it was heaven for him. he can’t ask for anything else, he can stay inside if you’ll let him.
“fuck,” he moaned and lifts his head to shower your neck with feather like kisses. he couldn’t contain his feelings. he wanted to feel you even more, like as if you’re not skin to skin already.
“can you move now, sweets? can you do it for me?” he asks so softly, eyes full of lust and desire for you.
a nod is all you can give for him as the stretch was already too much. jake raised one of his hand to brush some strands of hair out of your face. he places wet kiss on your lips, making your eyes shut. hands trailing behind his neck to pull him closer to you.
you slowly tried to move on top of jake, letting out moans as you feel his length even in the slightest movement. it was both torture and heaven.
“j-jake..” you stuttered after managing to pull away from his kisses to catch a breath.
he furrowed his brows and bit his lower lip, starting to feel impatient. he did said he wants you to ride him, watch you take over but he just couldn’t contain himself anymore. and besides, it seems like you’re also unable to do it yourself.
he cupped your face that made you open your eyes. “should i do it for you sweets?”
you can only nod and that served as a trigger for jake to be the one in charge. he pulls your face closer, making your lips locked. kissing you hungrily.
as the kiss gets deeper, the harder jake pounds on you. muffled moans tries to escape from your lips, but jake’s mouth were there to conceal it with his kisses.
“uggh,” your brows furrowed at the immense pleasure jake’s giving you.
his hand went back to your hips and started fucking even harder. he moves away to stare at your pretty face. eyes looked so desperate for release, lips swollen from all of his kisses and neck decorated with faint kiss marks. oh, its making him dizzy, its making jake crazy. to see you at this state, begging to be fucked by him.
“let’s cum together, hmm sweets?” he smirks, tho his jaw clenched at the feeling of a knot forming on his stomach. he is near as well.
you nod eagerly, hands clapping over his shoulders for some support. his car are starting to feel hot despite the ac working perfectly fine.
as the two of you are busy trying to reach both of your climax, his phone rang. jake only gave a short glance to it, having no intention of answering it. when he saw heeseung’s name flashing through the screen, he rolls his eyes and focuses back onto you.
they just couldn’t wait, can they? he did said that he will pick you up and that you two will arrive at the restaurant together. he just didn’t planned to stop at a parking lot because he can’t resist dicking you up.
“come on, sweetheart. cum for me...” he whispers on your ears after he pulls your face down. its now resting at one of his shoulders.
“i’m s-so close jakey...”
jake grunted after hearing that nickname of his. it just hits different when its coming out from your sinful mouth. everything you say, whether its innocent or not, it makes him feel horny.
“then cum, sweets. i’m so close too, fuck.” his fingers bore to your hips, thrusting even harder.
eyes are both tightly shut the moment you released your orgasm. it was mindblowing and jake’s still moving below you to chase his.
now he’s so ready to cum now that he’s sure you did reached yours. of course, even if he’s so drunk in lust he still prioritize your pleasure. you before anything else. always.
“fuck.” he buried his dick and shoot his hot cum shamelessly inside you. he was out of breath but still tries to check on you, pulling your body closer to him.
“you did so well for me sweetheart.” he whispers and kisses your temple. your hand cares his chest, eyes still close while enjoying cock warming him.
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“finally!” jay spat when you and jake walks inside the private room that heeseung reserved for all of you.
with blushing cheeks you tried to pull a smile for the three of them. jay stood up to greet you with a warm hug, heeseung stayed seated while eyeing you and jake, and sunghoon’s eyes are seriously darted at you.
“sorry for keeping you waiting, guys.” you apologize, feeling a bit guilty that you made them wait.
jay pulls off from the hug and flashes you with a sweet smile. he then leans in to give you a peck on your lips. “its fine, baby. i’m sure you’re not at fault.” and his hawk like eyes shoots at the man behind you.
jake chuckles, “chill dude, it was traffic!” he lied with a playful smirk pasted on his handsome face. his hand resting comfortably at your waist.
“yeah, right.” jay moves a bit to give space for heeseung who you failed to notice approaching.
he towered in front of you while looking at jake. “i called you multiple times, jake. why aren’t you picking up your phone?” he asks in a low voice.
you can’t help but to feel a pinch of fear whenever heeseung is like this. yes, you two grew a lot closer and he’s very soft towards you, but his strict demeanor never fails to intimidate you.
his large hands reached out for yours while still waiting for his friend’s response. jake kept his smugly face and tries to even smile innocently to his hyung.
“i told you, hyung. traffic.”
you gulped and glanced at heeseung trying to catch his eyes. once succeeded, you flash him a warm smile, watching how he took your hands closer for a kiss.
“sorry, heeseung. it was traffic.” you tried to go along with jake’s lies in order to put an end in this conversation.
one of heeseung’s brows raised while eyeing you. he remained silent before he lets out a strained sigh.
“if you say so, angel.”
jake almost snorted at how quickly his hyung folded for you. he wanted so bad to tease him, but he knew pretty well that he’ll do the same thing if it was him.
heeseung leans in to give you a kiss before turning to face jay. he started talking about ordering food for all of you.
while they’re at it, your eyes automatically darted at the quiet one on the corner. his eyes are still seriously watching you making you feel shivers through your spine.
jake chuckles lightly when he noticed his friend too. he scoffed before dropping a kiss on your neck and whispering that he will join the hyungs.
you only answered with a nod before glancing back at sunghoon. he clicked his tongue at the side of cheeks then moved his chair a bit away from the table, leaving enough space for you.
he licked his lips then tapped his lap once, “come here, pretty.” he ordered that almost made your knees give up.
you gulped before walking towards him, feeling a lump between your throat and heart racing. his eyes never left you until his hand reaches for yours.
he carefully places you on his lap before staring intensely to your eyes. the corner of his lips lifted as he smirks dangerously at you.
“you’re such a bad liar, pretty.” he whispers, enough only for you to hear. shivers quickly ran down your spine and you sat stiffly when he kisses your neck once, nose nuzzling it right after.
“h-huh?”
his lips stretched, hand caressing your waist gently. you can feel his hot breath fanning your skin, making you a bit dizzy. he gently graze his pointy nose to your neck in circular motion.
“where did you guys did it? in jake’s car?” he asks straightly that caught you off-guard. he looked at you through his long, thick eyelashes.
“h-how did you know?” you questioned. not that you expect that none of them will be suspicious, but he was just too straight forward about it.
a devious smirk remains plastered on his face and you felt his fingers burning your skin.
“you’re just not born to lie, pretty...” he started and places a gentle kiss on your chin before pulling away again to look you in the eyes.
“and i know jake pretty damn well that if its traffic that cause your delay, he wouldn’t be smiling from ear to ear like a fool.” he added that made your cheeks blush.
your lips opened in attempt to say something, but no words manages to come out. sunghoon lets out a low sexy chuckle and wraps his arms around your waist.
“it’s okay, pretty. today’s his day, anyway.” he whispers to comfort and assure you that its totally fine.
tho, sunghoon won’t admit that he felt a bit pissed at jake for acting selfish once again. they had agreed to meet here early and he just can’t contain his horniness. it doesn’t surprise him at all. just like he said... he knew his friend very well. it was almost like he saw it coming.
the other three then finally settles on what food to order and that’s when sunghoon finally lets you off his lap. he dragged the chair between him and jake then made you sit there.
it was a circular table and the other two are sat in front of you. heeseung asks you about your sleep and you answered naturally. he smiles as waiters started to enter the room.
“water, ma’am?” one of them tries to catch your attention.
you glanced at him and smiled before nodding your head ‘yes’. his smile grew as well and remained like that while he carefully poured you some water.
“the food here is really good. i bet you’ll like them.” he then started talking, acting friendly which made you glance back at him.
you smiled again, “really? well, its my boyfriend’s favourite place so i bet it really is good.” you innocently responded.
the friendly smile on the guy’s face dropped after hearing what you said. giggles from beside him emerges that made his ears turn red. he teared his eyes off of you in a flash then finished his job. you can notice that he’s moves are urgent, like as if he wanted to leave this room right away.
your eyes looked so confused that made the four boys around you smile even bigger. you are just so adorable and you don’t even have any clue about it.
jake’s smile were big the moment you glanced at him. he leans in and gave you a hearty kiss on the lips.
“wah, sweets. you’re really the best.” he says and even chuckles again.
sunghoon scoffed and fixed your utensils beside your plate. “i was so ready to butt in, but i guess she can handle things like this pretty well.”
jay’s laugh caught your attention as its like music to your ears. his eyes turned into a line because of the genuine happiness he’s currently having.
“that was good baby.” he compliments, but you’re still as confused as ever.
your eyes then moved towards heeseung in hope that he will shine some light for you. he have this warm proud smile on his handsome face.
“very well said, angel.” he added.
“i... don’t understand?”
jake chuckles again and even pulls your chair closer to him so he can cage you in a tight hug. despite the affection, you remained puzzled.
“‘it’s my boyfriend’s favourite place so i bet it really is good?’” heeseung repeated your exact words.
that made your cheeks turned red, “ did i said something wrong?”
jake shakes his head and made you face him, “that boy is obviously interested and you just blocked his attempts by saying you have a boyfriend.” he smiled so wide.
your mouth gaps in realization. is it really the case? but he was just being friendly. they’re suppose to be like that in this kind of job, right?
“i-isn’t that how it suppose to be?” you asked.
sunghoon clicked his tongue on the side of his cheeks, trying to suppress a smile. you are really making him crazy.
jake’s eyes shines as he leans closer again to lock his lips with yours. “i am really in love with you, sweets.”
even if you’re still confused, you managed to respond to him. “i love you too, jakey.”
heeseung can’t help but to smile. he couldn’t deny the rush of blood he felt the moment you mentioned about your boyfriend liking this restaurant, obviously referring to him. you may be oblivious about it, but it was enough to rock them all.
food arrived while jake’s still being clingy with you. even if there are other people entering to deliver the food, he just don’t mind. he will kiss your hands and face while staring lovingly at you.
“which one do you want to eat first?” he asks and helped assisting you with the food you like.
he’s been too busy taking care of you that his plate are still so empty.
“what do you want to eat, jakey? i’ll get it for you.” you volunteered, wanting to take care of him as well.
a playful smile spreads across his face while he finished placing food to your plate. he then leans in closer to whisper something. you stiffened on your seat, feeling his hot breath fanning and lips grazing your ears.
“you.”
one word and it already made you a blushing mess. he chuckles sexily before pulling away to take care of his plate this time.
“can you at least respect the food, sim jaeyun?” jay blurted out while shaking his head side to side.
the other two didn’t even spared him a glance and just busy themselves with their foods. they don’t need to hear what he said. they all know jake well enough to confirm what he whispered to you.
jake laughed and mumbled a short apology, tho he knew pretty well he’s not that sorry.
the five of you enjoyed the meals with light conversations. heeseung also opens up about some details that needs to be discussed for your project (the main agenda for today’s meet up).
“where will the two of you go after this?” jay asks curiously, as the meeting wraps up.
he’s standing in front of you, holding your hand while jake’s hugging you from the back. his chin rests on your shoulder while a playful smirk plays through his face.
sunghoon stands on the side, silently watching. heeseung is currently taking care of the bill. its just comforting for you how things seems to be natural around the five of you after clearing everything.
“that’s none of your business.” jake was quick the block off jay’s curiosity. it made you chuckle because he’s really silly sometimes.
jay frowned at his friend and even gestured that he’s about to hit jake. the latter didn’t even budge and just showed his tongue at him. you smiled and watch how they playfully banter with each other.
“i was just asking.”
“and i have no plan to answer.” jake responded.
jay’s eyes darted at you and with soft gaze, he slightly pouts his lips. “where are you going later, baby?” he asks.
the way he asked you made you want to tell him, only you have no idea as well.
jake’s hug get firmer as he slightly pulled you away from jay. “stop being nosy. she doesn’t know as well.”
“why are you even curious, jay?” this time sunghoon butts in as well. with a smirk on his face, of course.
“to gate crash to their date.” jay says as a joke.
you know he wouldn’t do that because they strictly agreed with each other to give privacy once its their turn. he really just wants to annoy jake since he came late a while ago.
“fuck you, jay.” jake blurted that made the smirk on sunghoon’s face grew wider.
“sounds like a good idea.” he says and even took a step closer.
“hey, that’s unfair!” jake complains and the other two acted like they didn’t hear him while plotting how they can ruin your date.
your hand caress jake’s arm that were wrapped on your waist. “shh, they won’t do it.” you tried calming him down.
you felt him relaxed from behind you, leaning in once again. his hot lips attached on your neck for a couple of seconds before he rests his chin back on your shoulder.
“they’re so annoying. we should’ve just ditched them completely, what do you think sweets?”
you chuckled and reached for his hair to card it using your fingers.
heeseung then arrives and his eyes automatically darted at you. he smiles and approaches, giving jay and sunghoon a short glance.
once close enough, he leans in and gave you a peck on the lips. “what’s up with them?”
“planning on how to ruin our date.” jake answered for you, sounding sulky already and he lets go of you to give his hyung a chance to talk you properly.
heeseung smirks, “should i join?” he whispers at you that made you shake your head side to side.
“don’t piss off jake.” you mumbled that made him chuckle.
“only because you asked me not to.” and leans again to give you soft kisses.
the five of you heads outside of the restaurant right after. jay didn’t leave jake alone easily and continued trying to piss him off. sunghoon kept on joining which made you smile and chuckle. they can really be so childish sometimes.
“i’ll see you on monday?” heeseung is now beside you, to say good bye. he doesn’t want to let you go yet, but he knew he needs to.
you smiled lovingly and wraps your arms around his waist. “i’ll see you on monday, hee.”
a big satisfied smile spreads across his handsome face. “i love you, angel. enjoy with jake for me, yeah?”
you nodded, “i love you, heeseung.”
he leans in to give you a peck and then steps aside so jay can bid you good bye as well. he was still playfully arguing with jake when he reaches for your waist.
“do you want to ditch him, baby?” he teases that made you smile.
you rest one of your hand on his chest, “you tease him enough, jongseong.”
he chuckles, “it was fun.”
he leans in for a kiss and made your noses rest against each other. “i love you, baby.”
“i love you, jay.” and you looked at him straight to his eyes.
it softens as he leans for another hearty kiss. you can hear jake’s side comments, but jay ignored all of them.
when he steps away, you already met sunghoon’s piercing eyes. you smiled softly and opens your arms for him. he walked closer, reaching for your arms to wrap it over his neck then rests his big hands on your hips.
“tomorrow...” he started. “you’re all mine.” he said under his breath that sent shivers to your spine. you felt thrill and excitement running down your veins.
“i’m all yours tomorrow, hoon.” nodding as you mumbled those words for him.
he nods and leans in carefully. he stares at your eyes first before kissing you on your lips.
“i love you, pretty.”
“i love you, sunghoon.”
he smiles and kisses your cheeks before finally letting jake hug you from behind. heeseung waves before getting inside his car. jay continues on teasing his friend while getting on his own vehicle and even sent a playful flying kiss at you that only made you chuckle. sunghoon grabs his helmet and put it on before he ride his motorbike.
“let’s go, sweets.” and jake guided you by pulling you on your waist.
he opens the car’s door for you before walking around to ride as well. he’s smiling so big, but you noticed that he’s a bit nervous.
“hey,” you tried catching his attention, even grabbing his hand that was reaching for the keys.
“yeah?” he asks.
“are you okay?”
jake glances at you and gulps. “just nervous.”
“about?”
“our date.” he sighs. “what if you end up not liking it? you obviously enjoyed the date with heeseung hyung and jay. what if—”
“hey, jakey..” you cut him off and cupped his face.
“as long as i’m with you, i will enjoy it. don’t feel pressured about it. let’s just have fun. okay?” you assured that obviously calmed down his nerves.
he licked his luscious lips before smiling, “yeah.” he says and leans in for a kiss on the lips.
jake is thankful for your kind, sincere words. but he can’t help but to mentally curse at himself. this isn’t the first time he took someone on a date, tho he must admit that this is the only time he pours his heart on planning for it. the first time he felt worried of what his date would think and feel about it.
he never knew the day where he will be nervous in something he thought he already mastered will come. maybe because it was you he’s with. he wanted to give you a good time, get to know you more and make this day memorable. afterall, this is the first date you two will have. first in the many more dates.
it is normal to feel nervous, right? specially that you’re very important for him.
he started driving and you sat there, silently admiring how he focuses on the road. glancing at you from time to time to kiss your hand and flash you those sweet smiles.
“you good there, sweets?” he asks gently while attractively turning the steering wheel, his arm flexes along with it.
“yep.” you shortly replied and kept on staring.
he nods and smirks.
“where are we going?” you curiously ask.
he glanced at you, “at my condo.”
you gave him a short nod and just went back on admiring him. the way his slightly long wavy hair is pushed back, compliments him so well. his pretty eyes that are surrounded by long, thick eyelashes. his pointy nose that looked more good on the side view and of course, his thick luscious lips. girls will give up anything just to have a chance to kiss those sinful lips of him.
you’ve heard endless talk about how jake is such a good kisser. the whole campus is probably aware of it. one even said ‘with the lips like his, he should really put it on a good use.’
you may be denial before, convincing yourself that it doesn’t bother you but deep down, you can feel a part of you aching out of jealousy. knowing how those same lips they’re desiring kisses you hungrily. a part of you wanted it for yourself only. selfish. that’s what you’ve becoming with jake sim.
he’s known for being the campus’ playboy. with his flirting skills that surely can make every girls fall down on their knees, there is no doubt that he can claim that title with no sweat.
and now, to know that you’ve got the playboy all wrapped up around your fingers sends shivers to your spine. stomach churns out of excitement. jake sim is whipped for you. he’s in love with you and he’s your boyfriend. yours.
“we’re almost there.” he says that snapped you back to reality.
you blinked a few times and roamed your eyes around. just now you’ve noticed that you’re about to enter an underground parking lot of a famous and private condominium building.
as expected, he have a place from an expensive building. his family is wealthy after all. he can have everything he wants at ease.
once parked, he glanced at you and smiled.
“why?” you let out a slight chuckle when you noticed him staring. he smirks and a hand reaches for your waist.
“nothing, i just can’t believe my girlfriend is so pretty.” he mumbled that pulls strings to your heart.
your eyes softens as you stare at him lovingly. your hand reaches for his face to pull it closer for a kiss.
“you’re prettier.” you whispered after giving him a peck on his lips.
his eyes flutters open, nose grazing yours. his gaze moves from your lips towards your eyes. you can feel his fingers digging to the skin of your waist.
“i doubt that.” and he swiftly pulls you over to his lap, crashing his lips on yours hungrily.
your lips laps his hardly as his hands held on your hips to guide them on grinding on his now erecting cock. the familiar sensation shutting down everything out from your worlds. suddenly, it was just you and him once again. nothing matters.
“ugh,” you moaned when you pull away to catch some breath.
jake kept his lips busy by moving it from your lips down to your chin then to your neck. sucking and claiming what’s his. you threw your head back, giving him more access while continuing to grind on top of him.
“jakey...” you moaned sensually when you can feel a knot approaching already. the way he guides your hips just feels so good.
his lips continued on kissing your neck then one of his hand left your hips to pull your top down, revealing your boobs.
“let me suck these babies.” he whispered huskily and dives in right away, putting one bud straight to his mouth.
“oh my—” you bit your lip out of pleasure. the way he sucks and moves his tongue around your nipple is sending you into blizz. its making you crazy.
“f-feel so,” you gulped, salivating. “good..” words coming out a little stretched. now, you’re starting to have a hard time talking because of what he’s doing to you.
if you’re feeling good, jake’s feels heaven. the way your moans sound so good and your body feels perfect for him is incomparable.
jake couldn’t help but bite your nipple slightly, making you yelp out of pain and pleasure.
“mine.” he growls before moving to your other breast as he guides you to move more intensely.
“i w-want you inside me, jake...” you blurted. the lust taking all over your head.
he gave your nipple one suck before letting it go to respond. “later, sweets.”
he smirks, “first, i want you to cum while griding desperately on my lap. come on, use me.” he whispers that tickles your ears.
you whimpered, but obliged. he guides your hands to rest on his shoulders for support while he sat his back on the car chair to give you a more comfortable position.
“show me how much you want me, sweets.” he smirks devilishly and you started to desperately grind on sim jaeyun. making him feel wanted and loved the way he was seeking for it.
“ugh,” you whimpered, brows furrowing hardly when you felt the intensity on your core. his dick is rock hard and jake’s fighting all the cells in him to pull his dick out and fuck you right there and then.
he wants you to take over this time. he wants you to cum on your own using him. using him in all ways just for you to reach your own orgasm. using him as he belongs to you.
“you look so damn pretty like this, sweetheart.” he compliments that just adds to your desperation. his soft yet lustful voice makes your core tingles.
“i’m c-close..” your voice so low, but he still manage to hear it.
he smirks and brushes your hair off your pretty face. “cum for me. release it all, sweets.” he kisses your ears and as you grind more, you felt the release coming much faster.
your body shakens above him as he chuckles sexily, cupping your face to pull it close for a kiss.
“good job, sweets. that’s my baby..” he whispers compliments as he lets you catch your breath and calm down from your orgasm.
“i love you.” he sincerely mumbled while showering your face with soft kisses. your eyes are tightly closed while resting above jake, enjoying his soft caress and sweet words.
after he managed to make you calm down, he smiled innocently and kissed your lips before helping you to fix yourself. the two of you then heads inside the building hand in hand, acting like you didn’t just desperately grind on top of this handsome guy beside you.
once arrived at his condo, you noticed that his place looked so calming. the way his furnitures are simple yet screams comfort makes it more sense that this flat belongs to jake. he does gives off a very comforting person. his friendly demeanor makes people instantly hooked to him.
“your place is so nice.” you commented with a smile while still roaming around.
he smiled widely as he removes his jacket, now leaving himself with his plain white shirt.
“really?” he asks and you nod. he walks closer and hugs you from behind.
“then consider this as your place too, sweets. i’m your boyfriend afterall.”
your heart felt full and you turn around to kiss his lips. “you’re so sweet.”
he chuckles and chase after your lips. couldn’t get enough of your lips.
“i bet you’re sweeter.” and then he suddenly carries you bridalstyle. you yelped and chuckled but got muffled when he crashes his lips on yours.
he walks towards the sofa set and rests you there. he pulled away slightly to look you in the eyes.
“let me show you how much i want you.” he stated before pushing you to lay on your back.
then he swiftly takes off your pants along with your underwear. he kisses your inner thighs as he opens it up for him to see you properly. your core still shines from your slicks because of the previous release.
“j-jakey..” you whispered and was about to close your legs out of embarrassment, but he was quick to pushed them back open.
“shh, keep them open for me sweets.” and he gave you a look that made you surrender helplessly.
“God, this is heaven.” he whispers while staring right at your core.
you felt so naked and despite the shyness, you can feel your insides screaming for him. wanting him to do whatever he wants to you.
jake places his hands on your thighs and gave you one glance before diving in to his meal. he gave your pussy one long lick that made you moan and shut your eyes tight.
“so sweet.” he says tasting your fresh release from a while ago. he smirks and kisses your clit once that made you twitch.
“open your eyes and watch me eat you, sweets.”
you pry your eyes open and tries so hard not to close them back. he then started eating you. flicking and sucking you down there with all his heart. he looked at you through his eyelashes and enjoys his view of your face contorting from so much pleasure.
you can feel his hot, long tongue doing all the sinful things on your core that makes you lose your mind. it felt so good. you pan your head in both direction while still trying to keep an eye contact.
“oh my gosh!!” you yelp while feeling the knot slowly forming on your stomach.
your thighs starts to close but jake’s there to hold them firmly. he attached his lips on your pussy, making out with it like his life is depended on it.
you taste so good that he couldn’t stop himself from putting his tongue inside your hole. silently thanking everything for such masterpiece.
after a few suck and licks, he felt your body vibrates and your head threw back. your eyes shut tightly as you release your sweet juices for jake. he lapped all of it, making sure none of it will come to waste.
he sucks all the juice and even licks your pussy clean of it. “taste so good for me.”
jake didn’t waste any time and while you’re still trying to recover, he discarded all of his clothes one by one. once totally naked, he kisses your lips heartily making sure you feel his affection and love along with his unstoppable lust for you.
he grabs your legs and placed it on his shoulder, “let me fuck you good, sweetheart.” he whispered on your lips.
“let me show you how much i love you.” and he started to enter your aching core. his dick so hard that you feel the stretch so well.
“o-oohh,” you moaned while watching how jake’s brows furrowed out of pleasure. your tight hole suffocating his dick so hard that it almost made him cum.
“so fucking tight.” he cursed, his accent so sexy.
he started rutting his dick inside of you. every pull in and out is felt by you. it was so good, felt like heaven. his lips searches for yours as he started to take his own phase. his tongue enters your mouth, desperately dancing along with your wet one.
“i love you so much, y/n.” he whispers your name with so much affection and care. like he doesn’t want to use it along with nonsense words that. it only pairs with meaningful ones.
“i...” you whimpered, “love you so much too, jakey.”
his heart beats grew stronger and faster. like its responding after hearing those words from you.
“i am so close.” he announced and even fucked you harder, reaching all your insides.
“m-me too...”
he kissed your cheeks hardly and even started biting them. he fucks you more desperately while biting your skin on your neck, adding to the pleasure you’re both too drowned into.
you’re starting to see stars the moment you let your release out. jake knew you cum already as it felt more slick inside, making it easier for his dick to slide in and out. making it more good.
“God, you’re so mine.” and his hand held your body tighter then starts to fuck you deeper.
“pussy so good.” he mumbled out of his mind, going crazy for being inside you so deep.
“damn, gonna cum inside you now sweetheart.” and his brows furrowed hardly as he burry his dick inside to shoot his hot cum in the depth of your pussy.
your body shaken, the feeling of his hot cum slowly filling you up just felt so good. he didn’t move an inch, making sure you are getting every drop of it.
jake stares at your pretty face and realize how down bad he is for you. how he can never see anybody else like the way his eyes sees you.
he dives in to connect his lips on yours. now slowly fucking in and out, dick hardening once again just by thinking the girl beneath him belongs to him. your heart beats syncing enough to let you know the words ‘i love yous’ that were unable to be said due to the clasped lips.
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“where are we going, jaeyun?” you asked affectionately after he manages to fix your seatbelt.
after taking a shower together and ended up fucking there as well, you two fixed up to go on to your date. he prepared this cute sundress for you and you’re all confused because you thought that you two will be staying at the condo for the date. turns out he planned something else.
he smiles, “we’ll go on a picnic on our farm, sweets.”
you felt excited, “i love picnics!”
he chuckles and pinch your cheeks lightly, “i know. i remember you wrote that once in your english paper.”
you blinked twice, “really? how’d you remember that?”
he started the engine, “i’m just too crazy for you, that’s why.”
your heart melts and kisses his cheeks once as he started driving out from the building.
“when did you start liking me, jake?”
jake didn’t respond right away. he let his thoughts calm down as they slightly became messy in wanting to express how much he adores you.
“years ago.” his eyes flutters and cheeks turns slightly red, feeling shy now that you’re about to hear the story of sim jaeyun being completely in love with you.
your lips hangs slightly open after hearing it. after hearing about heeseung and jay, you shouldn’t be surprised anymore. but you can’t help it.
jake may seem to be the most who can’t keep his hands off of you from the start, but he’s also very flirty towards a lot of girls. its not hard to misunderstood it.
“b-but... how?”
he smiles, kissing your hand once while trying hard to focus on driving. his heart’s beating so loudly he swears you can hear it from your position.
“people always takes me as someone friendly. free spirited, chill guy who just goes along everything. that’s what they know about me.” he started and even tried clearing his throat. starting to feel nervous.
“but only my closest friends knew i was completely different when we were still kids.” he chuckles, being reminded by their old good days.
you stayed quiet, trying to listen to what he’s about to say.
“i’ve always have a bad temper. since i tend to get whatever i want instantly, i get so aggressive whenever things doesn’t go on my way. my ill temper causes me so much trouble back then. fights with other kids, getting punished by my parents for it. i was terrible.” he clicks his cheeks.
“i remember those judgmental eyes that watches me whenever i make scene. they’re terrified and most of the kids doesn’t want to play with me anymore after that. except from my friends tho, we’re tight.” he chuckles again, referring to heeseung and the other two guys.
“my parents told me that if i continue being like that, the time will come nobody will stay beside me. i will be lonely.” he gulps, and just for a short time you saw sadness and fear flickers through his eyes.
“and it may sound funny but that’s what i fear the most. to be lonely and to not feel loved.” he scoffed. even him, he find it hilarious.
“and so i learned to control it..” he stops then smiled bitterly, “more like hide it. i mastered faking my real emotions into my smiles and i got so good that people actually started to feel more at ease around me. the terrible, bad kid jaeyun all forgotten.”
you bit your lip and caress his arm slightly.
“but of course, nobody is perfect. there’s this one time that i lose control. my patience runs out and i was in a big fight with another guy at the soccer team. he was pushing my buttons and taking my kindness into granted. i got enough of it and ends up beating him up. once again, i was stared at by familiar terrified eyes around me.” he lets out a heavy sigh, trying to calm himself.
“i remember going to the small garden at the back building. students doesn’t usually go there since its a bit far from the main buildings. i thought i can have time alone to calm myself while my friends tried to resolve the mess that i just created.”
you leaned in and place a kiss on his arm. a memory slowly coming back to you. a young boy wearing a ruined soccer uniform. from a far, you can already see some red spots over it. his knuckles bruised as he continues punching on the clean white wall.
“i was going mad. losing it all while hitting the wall nonstop when somebody stops me.” his eyes softens, face slowly clearing.
“she was so brave to interrupt someone going rage.” he chuckles, finding it cute. “i stopped not because she asked me to, but because i was so ready to divert my wrath on her.”
he glances at you, “not until i saw her sweet pretty face. eyes looking so worried for me. the type of gaze that i’ve never seen whenever i’m going mad.”
“that’s the first time you saw me?” you asked.
he shakes his head. “nah. sunghoon is crazy for you and heeseung hyung is head over heels for you. they don’t stop talking about you. how can i not know you?” he scoffs.
you blushed, knowing that heeseung and sunghoon liked you first.
“i always find you pretty but i couldn’t understand it yet. and after that day i just found myself searching for you. not because my friends are looking for you, but because i want to see you.” he chuckles.
“your eyes kept on flashing back to my mind. those soft stares you gave me that day hit me like a fucking train, sweets. i started to look for it. i started to want you looking at me that way all the time.” and jake’s heart warms up when he glanced at you, meeting with the same pretty eyes that he fell in love with back then.
“jake, you’re the softest and warmest person i know. having that bad temper didn’t make me think less of you.”
he smiled warmly, then turned into an evil smile afterwards. “i know. that’s why i started obsessing over you.”
you rolled your eyes while smiling. “i’m serious, jakey. you don’t have to hide what you really feel. i love you.”
he smiled, this time a proud one. “i’m serious too, sweetheart. i am obsessed and i love you very much.”
you chuckled and leaned in for a quick kiss before he resumed focusing on driving.
“before we head there, we’ll stop by somewhere. is that fine?”
“yeah, totally.” you’re in a very good mood today.
the drive to the place he was saying was just short. he parks in front of a small commercial building. the two of you went inside a pet salon.
you’re just silent while he’s holding your hand.
“jake!” one guy from the store greets him once noticed.
jake nodded, “hey, dude. is she ready?” he asks and you remain silent, still have no clue to why you two are here.
the man nodded after glancing at you once.
“girlfriend?” he asked with a teasing smile.
jake chuckles and kisses your hand with a big proud smile. “yes. the one and only.”
the man laughs, “nice to meet you. this is the first time jake introduced a girl to me.” he said that made you blush.
“where is she?” jake asked once done with the introduction.
the man asked another staff to get something. you waited for a few moments and suddenly a big cute dog came rushing towards jake. he lets go of your hand to kneel and greets it with all smiles.
“hi baby,” he greets and chuckles sexily.
the view of jake being this gentle over the dog caress something in your heart. he looked so happy and pure like this. it makes you smile happily as well.
the dog’s tail wags uncontrollably, showing how happy she is to see jake.
he laughs then looks up on you then glances back to the dog, now caressing her gently.
“sweets, this is layla.” he smiles. “layla, meet your momma.”
“daddy loves her so much so you got to love her as well.” he added that almost made you tear up.
you kneeled to greet layla as well, jake helping you to not overwhelm her. after a few sniffs and stroking, she warms up and suddenly wants to be pet by you.
jake thanked the man before bidding good bye, guiding you two back on the car together with layla.
“we’re going to our first family trip. whose excited?” jake screams.
you chuckled while petting layla as you and jake raises your hand, layla barking along that made you two let out a hearty laugh.
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permanent tag-list:
@stacey-stonem @tunafishyfishylike @love4hee
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deeplyshalllow · 1 month ago
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An in depth study of Fiyero and Elphaba's first meeting in the Wicked movie
So I've wanted to do an analysis of this scene from the moment I saw it. It's such a great addition to canon and gives such a fascinating insight into both of their personalities and the facades they put on to others. It also gives hints of the fact that both of them are pretty good at breaking down each other's walls.
From the top:
“Woah, Woah there, woah.”
“I did not see her.”
“Yeah, neither did I.”
“You might want to, um”
“Ok.”
“You know,”
“Yeah. I’m so sorry miss, I didn’t see you there, you must have...”
The first impression we get of Fiyero is that he’s kind. Obviously careless enough to hit a girl in the dark, but he immediately slows down and, even before Feldspar has told him to apologise, he’s got down and is about to make his way over.
It’s also important to note we that seeing him talk to a Horse as a friend, when just the scene prior we have seen that a large amount of the population don’t want Animals to talk at all. In fact, this is the only other human we see friends with an Animal in the entire movie, and it sets up immediately the fact that he will agree with Elphaba on her cause.
“...blended with the foliage.”
Here is his first reaction to Elphaba’s greenness. It is the rudest thing that Fiyero says to her all scene, and something that immediately puts Elphaba on the defensive, having heard shit like this all her life, but it’s also very on par with Fiyero and his constant habit of saying dumb shit whenever Elphaba is around (“yeah, or maybe it scratched me or something,” and “well, actually it was, but it wasn’t” come to mind), he’s surprised and he reacts with humour (something we see he does a lot).
It’s interesting to contrast this to his musical comment, “Well maybe the driver saw green and thought it meant go,” which is a lot more pointed and insulting, blaming the situation on her (though to be fair she does wake him up and attack him for what his carriage driver did), Fiyero in the movie reacts dumbly but not maliciously.
“Is this how you go through life? Just running amuck and trampling anyone in your path?”
Elphaba is immediately on the defensive. She’s already stressed about Doctor Dillamond, pissed off about being knocked over and now, as usual, she has met a new person who is insulting her skin tone. So she does what she does best, she puts her walls up and hides behind them.
“No.”
*Feldspar laughs*
Fiyero is shocked by this attack. He’s naturally charming, to the point where he relies on his charm to get him out of situations. So the fact it doesn’t work stuns him a little. This is why Feldspar laughs, because he knows Fiyero and how he normally acts, and it is funny to see him not immediately manage the situation.
“No, sometimes I’m asleep.” *looks at her flirtily*
Fiyero recovers, his walls are back up. He’s over the shock of seeing someone green and how she’s reacted to him, so he goes back to charm by flirting with her. Notice how he is using self derogatory humour, it’s easy charm that he knows how to use – he’s trying to ease the situation by insulting himself and making her laugh. It’s also another way of cultivating his image, Fiyero very deliberately portrays himself as stupid, flirty and lazy (he sings an entire song about it!) and here he is playing it up.
Also, I’m pretty sure this is a reference to their meeting in the musical (where he is actually asleep), which is cute.
*Awkward pause*, “Yeah, alright, alright, here we go. No, I’m not seasick.”
Elphaba, who is not at all used to people flirting with her, but is used to people asking questions and insulting her skin tone – has picked up none of the playful implications and only that he is stupid and lazy, and therefore starts the rant that she’s said 100 times before.
“Neither am I.”
“No. I did not eat grass as a child.”
“Oh you didn’t? I did!”
But Fiyero starts replying! Again, it’s all charm and self derogatory humour, but he’s sensed the unease, he did not come to insult or attack her, and he’s trying to lighten the situation with his usual techniques he uses on everyone – but they are not working.
“And yes, I have always been green.”
“And the defensiveness? Is that a recent development?”
And here we see Fiyero let down his shield a little, and let on that he’s less dumb than he’s acting. Fiyero is remarkably good at understanding people, it’s how he manages to maintain his facade in the first place – and it’s how he ends up being an effective double agent through most of act 2. Fiyero immediately realises that Elphaba is putting on an act too, that she’s not just attacking him because she’s annoyed at him but that there’s something more going on there.
I love it. I love it so much. It’s such a good addition to the musical canon, because all the traits for Fiyero to be like this are already there, and it adds an extra bit of depth to our understanding of why he’s fascinated with Elphaba – because he knows that she’s another person hiding her true self from the world. It’s such a good link to the Lion Cub scene later where Elphaba pretty much calls him out on the same thing.
*Elphaba stares*
*Fiyero tries a smoulder*
“Hm.”
There is a second here where Elphaba realises that she’s been called out. That she’s attacked him when he wasn’t being malicious and it does cause her to retreat slightly.
Fiyero, now in safer territory, puts his walls back up and goes back to flirting. Elphaba, again not used to this at all, doesn’t really understand this and is still in a bad mood about the Animals, so breaks the moment.
*Feldspar laughs, Fiyero tries to shh him but laughs too.*
*Elphaba notices and stalks off.*
So this is interesting. From context clues, what Feldspar is laughing at earlier and Fiyero’s comment later, it appears he’s laughing at Fiyero, that his easy charm hasn’t worked and he’s found himself on the back foot. Fiyero, bewildered, but still playing up his persona, laughs too. Elphaba sees this and, obviously, immediately takes this as them laughing at her greenness, and therefore any goodwill from what he’s said is gone, and she stalks off.
“I’m off for some more trampling, may we offer you a ride?”
Fiyero, bless him, tries again. He’s seen he’s offended her, though probably hasn’t quite connected exactly why, and tries to make right. So he goes in with more self derogatory humour as well as a genuinely kind offer – it probably isn’t safe for her to walk back in the dark – but the moment has been lost.
“No thanks. Get stuffed.”
Elphaba’s walls are back up again. She might regret the “stuffed” comment by the end of act 2 though...
“Wow, Feldspar, we have just been spurned by a girl.”
“Indeed.”
“Guess there’s a first time for everything.”
Fiyero ends the scene baffled, unsettled, but interested. He plays it off as if he’s normal and also reassembles his walls and defensiveness, again playing into the lazy playboy persona he puts on, ready for his next scene with Galinda.
Analysis of Fiyeraba interactions in the Dancing Through Life/Ozdust Scene
Analysis of Fiyeraba interactions in the Lion Cub Scene in the movie
An In Depth Study of Elphaba and Fiyero in the Train Station Scene
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autogyne-redacted · 5 months ago
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Let's Talk About Security Culture: Why Keeping Secrets is Cool and Sexy
It's a natural impulse -- if you love crime -- to want to talk about how great it is. And if you hate America, it's only natural to want to share your dreams for its future with the rest of tumblr dot com. It can feel brave and transgressive. And there is a drive to share your soul with the world at the heart of social media. Surely I should be posting the most concrete implications of my politics, right? This is the poster's curse.
Security Culture refers to a set of "best practices" developed over the past several decades, largely (in a US context) coming out of radical environmental groups as they faced intense state repression, infiltration and entrapment. If you're not familiar, there's some fascinating crimethinc write ups to give you a window into that world:
Much of it boils down to: don't talk about crimes, past or forthcoming with people who don't need to know about them, and be mindful of the possibility of surveillance and infiltration. And, we can support each other as a community in minimizing risks, with an eye towards enabling bold action rather than getting bogged down in fears and anxieties. The guidelines that make sense for AG-based trouble-makers are different from the guidelines that make sense for posters, but plenty of common principles apply. To speak briefly to our position here as posters:
First, it bears saying that long term anonymity is nearly impossible to maintain. Unless you've never accessed Tumblr without a vpn, and avoided connections with other ppl who can be associated with you/your location, and never shared pictures without scrubbing metadata, and a bunch of other 100% consistent steps, it's trivial for the state to know who you are.
Second, just because something isn't actively being prosecuted now doesn't mean it can't be prosecuted later. The priorities of the state change and a shift in power towards the right or a growth in radical action from the left can suddenly make it a priority to destroy anarchist networks or just find a few ppl to prosecute as examples (who probably weren't that plugged into larger networks before getting arrested). Advocating for specific anti-government crimes or declarations of intent to commit such crimes are likely prosecutable, and even if charges don't stick, they're an easy vector for legal harassment.
Third, it's worth thinking about heat as separate from prosecutability. There are modes of engagement that may not be directly criminalized but signal that you are someone worth watching. Some people choose to be public in ways that make heat unavoidable. But it's worth noting that heat isn't strictly individualized, that it persists over time but also is going to shrink over time.
It's easy on here, ime, to see yourself as a proud member of the crime fandom but not much of a content creator. And it's easy to feel like you've generated an amount of heat where you're locked into that role. But heat you generated 10 years ago is probably pretty well gone. Heat you generated 5 years ago has faded substantially. It's worth thinking about how the world might shift in the coming years and what doors you want to keep open.
The non-individualized nature of heat also means that leaning into the spiciest of anti-state positions will make it a bad idea for people who are acting out those positions end up tied to you. Loudly talking about how "more people should be doing [X/Y/Z]" unfortunately sets you up to remain distant from people who might be doing or thinking about doing such things.
Which brings me back to: keeping secrets is sexy. Not spelling everything out builds intrigue. You can lay out a theoretical position and leave working out the practical implications of that as an exercise for the reader. There's value in opacity. The poster's curse and the drive to confess are extremely convenient for the state, but we can resist them. We can hold dreams in our hearts that we refuse to offer up to the posting spectacle.
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muntitled · 9 months ago
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬
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Pairing: Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader
Summary: "Kylo was nothing if not a sadist,"
Warnings: Language, WarPrisoner!Reader, Toxicity, Weaponizing Hux, Humiliation, God Complex, Jealousy, Possessiveness, Smut +18 (Minors DNIA, DEAD DOVE FIC, Dark fic, Sadism, Masochism, Inexperienced!Kylo, Ownership Kink, Dry humping, Forced sex, Spitting, CNC, Dubious Consent, Massive Degradation Kink, Inappropriate Use of Force, Choking Kink, Size Kink, Impact Play, Groping, Breast Play, Premature Orgasm, Controlled Orgasm, Dom/Sub themes, Dom!Kylo, Sub!Reader, Brat Tamer!Kylo,;Bratty!Reader, Slight!Exhibition Kink, Humiliation Kink, Inappropriate Mind Reading, Overstimulation, Dirty Talk, Mentions of Rape, Fingering, Rough Sex, Dacryphilia, Gagging, Subspace.
Do not read this if you're incredibly sensitive to violent imagery. If this doesn't make sense don't say anything or i'll cry <3
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As Hux walks diligently ahead of you, you could not tell by his tense shoulders and his palms clasped behind his back that he was following the duties of a madman.
While he escorts you, Hux thinks back to his slip-up with Ren.
The way he shouldn't have mentioned your name in a comprehensive report about the overall running of the Starkiller. The way he should've known how dangerous Kylo is when it comes to anyone taking even the vaguest of interest in playing with his toys.
"Despite having the accolades of an established pilot for the resistance," Hux had said moments earlier when Kylo was pacing up and down his private chamber, "Your prisoner refuses to put any of her skills to use aboard the Starkiller. She's essentially useless dark matter," He uttered his words rather clumsily. As if forgetting he was reporting to a beastly excuse of a man.
Hux only realises his mistake when Kylo stops his various pacing to turn slightly. His unmasked head tilts to the side as he advances on Hux in a low, large gait. Everything about the boy being so unnaturally large.
"My prisoner?" He steps closer, "Or the First Order's?"
Kylo's laugh appears unnatural without the mask. Not any less intimidating but certainly, frighteningly human.
"You act as if my will is not synonymous with that of the First Order, general," Kylo's blood runs fucking cold at the thought, "You insinuate that I keep her here out of my own free will,"
"Well, we all know how much a boy fancies his toys," Hux's degradation causes Kylo's Adam's apple to bob and a deep frown settles over the boy’s face. Whatever weakness Hux was accusing him of, it rattled the foundations of his already fragile ego and Hux smirked.
"Go tell her I wanna see her," the first command left Kylo's lips in a fairly controlled and monotonous manner. The second however... "FUCKING NOW!"
Robotic inclination bleeds from the mask of the stormtroopers “Yes Sir-”
Without sparing the stormtroopers so much as a single glance, Kylo spat, "Not you, fucking degenerates," Kylo stares Hux down as he steps towards him. His voice is ice cold. "I want you to summon her," he takes immense pleasure in the way Hux's smile drops.
Kylo has observed the glances Hux throws your way and it makes his fucking stomach turn. He's seen the uncomfortable leering and the lecherous thoughts. Kylo was nothing if not a sadist. Humiliating Hux using the object of his desires.
He wants you and that makes Kylo want you even more... Violently so
"Where are you taking me?"
You could feel the rest of the crew watching your every movement as you trailed behind General Hux like you were compelled to do so by some unseen leather leash. You cannot help but feel as though you have done something very bad and very naughty.
You try to rid yourself of these thoughts immediately.
Perhaps he was taking you to see the vermin underneath the mask.
That thought should not sprout such a deep desire within you. Kylo was your captor and yet, he fascinated you more than anything ever could.
"At least slow the fuck down," You breath out, trying by all means to evade all eye contact with curious onlookers.While you walk you try to keep your head high and appear unaffected by their piercing glares. Every stormtrooper, navigator, pilot- even down to the measly technicians all keep their eyes trained on you and you glare back. Leering your head forward with narrowed eyes because being held captive on the Starkiller was punishment enough. You would never allow yourself to be intimidated by the judgemental stares.
"Do you ever plan on disclosing our destina-"
You're interrupted by a sharp and loud hiss before two doors part. Your eyebrows furrow before you're dragged into the chamber, quite literally against your will. You did not wish to get acquainted with any more rooms on the Starkiller. Hoping that one of your comrades in the resistance might have saved you long before you ever had to make this ship your dwelling place. But you've only crawled deeper into the Starkiller's core and you find yourself here, standing before him in his black cowl with his hands clasped behind his back.
The room is as lifeless as the rest of the vessel. The bed, colourless and hard. The only signs of vibrance is the east window depicting a slab of stars in hyperspace.
"I am told you've made yourself fiercely unlikable in the flight deck.” Kylo says, completely ignoring your slightly shocked experience at seeing him without his helmet.
“That's what this is then?” You turn briefly to make eye contact with Hux before turning to Kylo with one arched brow, “I'm being scolded now?”
“You're insolent when given any orders,” he oaces before you while Hux stands behind you by the door, “You disobey at every given turn and you're resistant. Vexingly so.”
“How clever of you, it seems as though you'd only just discovered a key characteristic from a member of the resistance.” You say with a smirk, “Clever, Clever boy."
“It's that mouth of yours that's gonna get your head slain from your very shoulders.” Kylo advances you like a midnight storm and you fight to stand your ground.
“I have grown terribly bored of this place,” You say, “Perhaps even death might be more eventful then whatever you are, Kylo.”
Before Hux is able to make his escape Kylo grabs at your throat, encircling his hand around your skin like a vice until he is forcing you to look at Hux ahead of you.
"This is what you want?" He isn't speaking to you but to Hux, pushing your cheeks together in a painful display of humiliation. "This is what's been plaguing that mind of yours-"
"I've no time for this-"
The very last thing Hux is able to see before he leaves Kylo's quarters, is your frightened eyes and Kylo looming behind you. A mere mouse being imprisoned by a God.
You make the mistake of thinking that Hux's absence might soften Kylo's resolve, but your time as his captive should have let you know that there was nothing soft about this man. Nothing at all.
"You should be grateful, you know that?" His lips graze your head and you're suddenly hyper aware of his proximity.
You're hyper aware of the closed metal doors that were probably being guarded by a pair of heavily armed stormtroopers. There is no escaping the clutches of this monster behind you.
And yet; you still find yourself scoffing, "I should be grateful?" You ask, hoping to assimilate every shred of confidence you had left, "I should be grateful to be your prisoner-" you wince when his grip on your jaw tightens and he's wrenching your face until you're craning your neck backwards to face him.
Large, looming, and completely fucking livid.
"You should be grateful that you're still fucking breathing, you brat-"
And then, a very strange thing occurs.
Since the moment Kylo had wrangled you off your home planet, you had sworn to be nothing but defiant. In honour of everything you stood for, you would never let him see you weak and yet here you are, carelessly allowing the faintest of whimpers to slip through quivering lips.
The sound confuses Kylo initially. In fact, he cranes your head back further, not caring whether you were comfortable or not as he bends down, appearing to inspect your mouth for that peculiar sound further. He squeezes your cheeks lightly, prodding the round tissues of fat as if fervently trying to search for whatever button might allow for that little sound to spill from your lips again.
"How completely and utterly curious-"
"You're fucking hurting my neck-" the fire returns and with it, comes your will to wrench your face out of his grip. You're only able to get free because he lets you and you know this.
"What..." Kylo bends even lower towards you and you turn your head to face the blank wall ahead of you. Evading eye contact with this man was nothing if not crucial. "What was that sound you just made-"
"It appears as though hearing nothing but the cries of utter doom and damnation has defamiliarized you to the sound of pleasure, Ren-"
Your breath is wiped clean from your throat not even a second later when you steal a look downwards at a gloved hand interlocking itself around your throat once more. Seemingly his favourite place.
"All the praises that could fall from your mouth..." Kylo drawls before pressing himself firmly against your backside, "All that you could say to worship the hand that feeds you and you still choose to be insolent-"
You try to escape his death grip but he doesn't let you out this time around. All you can do is be thankful that he had the decency to allow you to breathe.
"That's all you fucking know how to do right," Kylo's lips are at your ear and your knees buckle. "Insolence. Insolence. Insolence." Your legs give out, but before you're able to topple to the ground in a puddle of your own lustful perversions, his other hand curls around your waist, keeping you firmly pressed against his front.
“Today's the day you fucking obey," he whispers, "Understand?"
"I-I-”
Kylo is not sure how he does it, or why he does it, or where he got the understanding to do it, but his hand makes its very slow descent from your collarbone, to the spot right above your pillowy breasts. Clad in nothing but your knee length tunic, a garment stitched with fibres indigenous to your homeplanet, you suddenly feel incredibly naked and incredibly exposed. What was once an act of rebellion, is now your undoing.
"There is a way to make you disobey isn't there?" You can hear him becoming excited. "Every cattle has their price. What's yours?" Before you're able to turn and possibly beg for some sort of mercy, he's already in there. The stuff Kylo sees digging around in your mind, is enough to have him staring off into hyperspace. His eyes are trained on nothing at all as he rapes your most memories and most private desires. All while drawing you impossibly closer, until his mouth was buried in your hair and his hand was closing around your left breast. You squirm underneath him until finally, he's released from your stupor.
You did not dare turn around to look at him, in fear of seeing his dark eyes dilated with enlightenment.
"How barbaric." He whispers. "That's what I have to do in order to get you to listen to me,"
"I-I don't know what you're-"
"Open your mouth." Before you're ever able to interject even a single word, Kylo's hand is digging into the skin of your jaw, "Do I have to do it for you- open your mouth-" He wrenches your mouth open and cranes your neck back once more.
"That's it," You're absolutely frightened to see the violence that has darkened those irises. This is the look that's shielded behind the mask during times of battle. This is that look no one got to see.
Yet here you were.
"You're so fucking filthy, you know that?" You're nodding before your brain is aware of it, "You're a filthy, perverted little creature," one by one, your inhibitions slipped away from you until you could feel yourself become completely and utterly dumb for him. Your mind becomes a tabula rasa as Kylo bends his heavy frame downwards, spitting directly into your open mouth. There it is. That whimper he wanted to hear so badly.
You're not even aware of his hand reaching around your front until he's parting your legs with determination. "Is this where you want me?" Your mouth hangs open and you look up at him glassy doe eyes as he cups your drenched heat. Kylo locks his full lips and presses his front impossibly closer to your backside. "This whole time I've needed to get you in line, and the answers been here this whole fucking time?" A gloved hand swipes your underwear to the side and the wind is completely knocked out of you when Kylo pushes his fingers in immediately. He fucks his fingers into you with zero restraint and zero preparation, and the roughness has your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your skull as you grow limp in his grip. Lucky for you he's so large, lucky for you he might as well be a stone wall behind you, letting you lean against him with your long legs spread wide for his absolute assault.
"Look at me." He says, holding you against him by your throat while his index and middle finger violate your soaking cunt. Despite his orders you're still a drunken, blundering mess with half lidded eyes, promising to keep you locked away in your pleasure.
"If you don't fucking look at me, I'll stop and you'll suffer." He squeezes your clit quite painfully, immediately bringing you out of hedonistic stupor-
"FUCK- WHAT THE FUCK-"
"Do you want me to stop?" He asks, with a note of cockiness that had your brows furrowing.
"Are you stupid?! Of course I don-" before the curse could even escape your mouth in its entirety, Kylo's blocking out your airways. You fight to scratch at his gloved grip around your throat but his grip is fucking metallic.
"Look at how docile you look when you're not running your mouth,"
Your insides were screaming for oxygen, yet your hips rut against his hand. Kylo slyly adds a third finger inside your slippery cunt. "What a whore," he whispers, causing you to fuck forward against his hand, nearly humping yourself to completion as the blood flow to your brain seems to stop completely. You need oxygen and you need to cum. You just don't know which you need more.
"You're nothing but fucking filth-"
Your mouth opens to let a moan escape but it never does, and Kylo watches your struggle with a pained expression of his own.
"F-Fuck, I've never seen anything so vile-"
You were slipping. Whether it was into unconsciousness or an orgasm you couldn't tell. "If you pass out I will fuck you," he whispers, "There's not fucking escaping me-"
And in that very moment, Kylo unlocks the invisible grip on your airways and suddenly you can breathe and cum. Almost immediately you're slipping into a violent, damn near supernatural orgasm that has you seeing every star in the known galaxy.
"F-FUCK- oh my-" You're rutting against his hand, tongue lolling out all while Kylo continues to fuck his fingers into your cunt.
"That's it," He whispers, "Cum for me, you useless fucking whore-" Every vile sliver of degradation causes a fresh wave of pleasure to roll through you until the first droplets of tears are rolling down your cheek.
"Don't fucking do that," he whispers, pulling you closer than ever, "Don't fucking do that unless you want me to fuck you right now-"
He watches the tears roll down your face and absolutely loses it. Now suddenly aware of his own cock aching in his pants.
"K-Kylo please-" You try to push his hand out of you but to no avail. "It's too much-"
But his eyes are shut, and your body is overcome by wave after wave of electrifying shivers. The pleasure quickly bleeds into the pain of being so heavily overstimulated but Kylo is lost in his own world now. He clutches you impossibly closer, mumering obscenities into your hair as he ruts against your ass and you fucking pray for it to be over. Your pussy is fucking spent and yet he's still keeping his hand there, as if driven by his own need to cum.
"You stupid fucking slut- look what you made me do-" He's rutting against your ass, eyes squeezed shut as his hips stutter, "F-Fuck-" the whimper that breaks his voice is utterly intoxicating and you find yourself slipping into another dry orgasm as Kylo pushes against you, cumming in his pants with various expletives falling from his pillowy lips. When your orgasm falls you beg him to let go of you and when he does, you topple to the floor.
Never in your life have you felt so weak. So spent. So utterly used.
Kylo does not spare you a glance when he turns around. "This is where you will reside from now on," he says with finality. Careful to let his voice relay how utterly broken he feels. Just as broken as you.
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theealbatross · 7 months ago
Text
marry me (s.s.)
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Plot | The 3 times Sebastian thought about marrying you and the 1 time he asked.
Tags | miscommunication, mentions of murder and poisonings, fluff, implied smut, dangerous idiots in love, fluff, 6k-ish words
A/N: sorry this took so long i went on a vacation! One of the funniest line about Ominis locking the two of them up was written by @/shinzhon in our discord server!
Series Masterlist - the rest of the chapters here
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“Seriously Sebastian, how many times has it been this month?”
“It’s not my fault this time, I swear!”
“So, you slipped and somehow ended up in the Restricted Section? Is there some secret passage I hadn’t known about? Care to share to the class?” Ominis pinned him with a look and despite knowing his friend was blind Sebastian still raised his hands in surrender. Ominis sighed, there was no point really. When he had agreed to be friends with the troublesome boy in their first year he had signed up for this. It’s his fault for not seeing the mischievousness in those innocent brown eyes.
“I’m surprised,” Ominis continued as he started the trek back to their common room, the painful small talks he had with the headmaster in order to prevent anything getting sent to Solomon already fading as he got further away from the office. He could only imagine the absolute hell the old man would’ve sent their way if he had heard of his rendezvous in the Restricted Section. “It just isn’t like you.”
Sebastian scoffed, “To be in the Restricted Section? Where have you been the past year?”
“No, you idiot,” he hissed. “It isn’t like you to be caught.”
The falter in Sebastian’s steps had him raising an eyebrow, neck snapping back in accusation. “I’ve been caught once,” Sebastian reminded him quickly of the time Scribner first put the anti-Alohamora charm in the doors of the Restricted Section.
"I'm not finished," He’s hiding something. “It isn’t like you to be caught twice.”
He stopped on his track at the sound of Sebastian’s wince. “Okay, don’t be mad –”
“Oh no.”
“The new fifth-year needed some help to get in the restricted section because – well, I actually can’t tell you, she made me swear – and it’s bigger than the both of us and it was going so well! But Peeves caught just as we were about to –”
“Honestly, Sebastian, enough!”
He didn’t need to hear any of this.
Sebastian was right. Whatever great big mess that new kid was in the middle of was bigger than the both of them. And he has had more than enough on his plate trying to keep his friend out of trouble without the additional presence of another mysterious adrenaline junkie being thrown in the mix – one who was worryingly a magnet for big trouble. It was no wonder Sebastian was transfixed; he was looking at the damn mirror.
“Whatever fascination you have with that girl ends now,” It doesn’t escape him how much he sounded like a father getting in-between two lovers. He would’ve laughed in incredulity at the current situation he had found himself in if he wasn’t so bloody frustrated. “You get in enough trouble on your own, she doesn’t need to be sucking you up in her own problems.”
Sebastian makes a sound that doesn’t sound like a ‘yes, Ominis’ and the blond’s blood vessels nearly pop. He cannot believe this.
“Come on, it wasn’t like that. Honestly, she was brilliant! You should’ve been there; she took to the Disillusionment spell so quick that if we hadn’t let out guard down, we –”
“Oh, Merlin’s Beard, why don’t you marry the damn girl and the both of you leave me out of your tomfooleries!”
That would be ideal, he thinks. In a perfect world, he’s going to lock the two of them in a room and eat the key. There he would have no daily nuisances, won’t have to worry about sneaky Slytherins and the explosion of troubles they bring with them, and won’t need to suffer through Headmaster Black’s presence to get them out of it. A thankless job that brought nothing but headaches.
It was only when he was out of his blissful reverie that he realized his headache had stopped walking behind him seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
No.
“Sebastian … “
The other boy audibly flinched, his breath now irregular, and Ominis will bet all the galleons in the Gaunt’s vault that if he could see his old friend’s face would be as red as a Gryffindor’s arse right now.
He could almost cry, his palms producing embarrassing cold sweats at the absolute worst-case scenario unfolding in front of his unseeing eyes. “Please – I am begging you – not this one.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Oh no, no, no.
Suddenly, the prospect of Sebastian and this troublemaker getting together was not that idyllic. In quick successions, all possible worst-case scenario popped in Ominis head. Sebastian was bad enough, if he had someone who was equally as reckless and rash as him it would be something out of his worst nightmare.
Ominis is a good person. This can’t be happening to him.
“Sebastian, listen to me –”
With only a breeze as his answer Sebastian skipped right past Ominis and up the grand staircase. Ominis could feel the heat of his face. “No time to talk. Got somewhere to be –”
“Sebastian, no!”
Why must it keep happening to him?
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Sebastian was pretty sure the house in Feldcroft has not heard Anne’s laughter in a long, long time. Yet, here you were, huddled together with his sister, whispering giggle-worthy stories about him no doubt by the way your gaze kept fluttering back to him, and lifting the dreadful ooze that has monopolized the small space since his sister’s illness.
“Nice girl,” He had nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized his uncle had been sitting on the spare bed hidden by a curtain.
“Y-Yeah,” Merlin’s beard you even got his unpleasant uncle’s favor in such a short time – a miracle worker, truly. “She’s … quite something.”
Talking to him has always been awkward.
Even before Anne had gotten sick, he found it difficult to converse with the man who looked too much but was simultaneously nothing like his gentle, kind father. And maybe it was also the childish insistence that if he had let the man into his heart, he would betray his parents – his father – that he just couldn’t let him in. It would feel too much like replacing him so he just opted in letting Solomon linger at the precipice of his life and the man was more than happy to do so.
After all, if Solomon was nothing like his father, Sebastian was everything that reminded Solomon of his dead brother. And those were holes none of them could fill for each other.
“You know, your mother was the same,” Sebastian’s eyebrows raised, never hearing Solomon talk about her till now. “When she was a 7th year I was just starting in Hogwarts and let me tell you, I had little hope for that brother of mine of ever getting her attention.”
His uncle continued to stare at you like he was seeing a ghost – the good kind – not the kind he sees when he looks at him. “She was brilliant, loved by even the firmest professors. And was always willing to hold out a helping hand, even to lost first years whose ass of a brother left to go fend for himself in the confusing moving stairs of Hogwarts.”
Even Sebastian let out a chuckle at that ridiculous image. Sometimes he forgets that even his old uncle had once been a child. The thought is uncomfortable, especially looking at the man he is now. “I always told him he was out of his mind for courting your mother but did my crazy brother listen? Absolutely not.”
Where was he going with this?
Sebastian returned his eyes back to you.
Brilliant, admirable, courageous you.
With your bright smile that feeds his ego by always shining brighter with him. The recklessness that never fails to infuriate and impress on his last nerves. The kindness you innately had in you that makes him want to wrap you up in the finest silk then lock you up in an impenetrable room so nobody else may ever touch it – so nobody else may have you.
That would be best, he thinks.
“It would seem even that insanity he had passed on to you.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened, forcing himself to take slow, deep breaths so all his blood doesn’t go to his face, unable to look at the older man. “It’s not like that,” he cleared his throat, now unable to look at you. “We’re … friends.”
“A good … companionship is built upon friendship,” Sebastian’s head whipped to this uncle as if to say ‘how would you know?’ but his uncle just grunted, shrugging before standing up to busy himself in the kitchen, calling you out to assist and telling Anne to take her medicine.
A good companionship. He knows it’s a bit too early but the thought of it wasn’t as horrifying as he thought it would be. The budding interest he had in his new friend was pushed and shoved into the deepest nook of his brain – he had more pressing things to tend to, one that was more important than discerning why he could recognize the sound of her laughter in the middle of dinner in the Great Hall.
But if he really thinks about it, takes a moment to breathe and considers it … it would be nice. She’s had research interest but with her grades and skill being a renowned curse-breaker or even an auror isn’t out of the question. If he works hard, he knows he’d be able to keep up and support her and Anne – maybe even set up an apartment in the city, they can just visit his sister when they have the chance.
Of course,he will try to encourage her to settle back down in Feldcroft if Anne still lives here but Irondale is quite beautiful too, a good place to practice flying when they have a family, let his children experience a true childhood surrounded by peace and quiet – two kids would be nice. Twins run in the family so maybe he could convince her for another one if their first pair are of the same gender. He would really like a daughter who looks just like --
 “I like her.”
“Bloody hell!” Sebastian jumped when he realized his twin sister was now right in front of him while he was deep in his embarrassing delusions. (When did the members of his family become so sneaky?) She grinned at him as if she knew exactly what had him so distracted. To avoid her piercing stare, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he guided her in the little nook of her bedroom where all the vials full of her medicines were stored.
“I knew you would. ‘s why I brought her here.”
“Oh?” Anne nonchalantly drank a disgusting-looking fluid in one gulp. “So, it wasn’t cause you wanted to monopolize her and get ahead of your competition back at Hogwarts?”
Sebastian gawked, his entire body heating up from the accusation. “What – no, it’s not – I thought she would cheer you up!”
He quickly took a quick peek at the corner, relieved that you were too busy charming his uncle off to hear such absurd allegations against him. He wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression of him at all. After all, for how wondrous those visions are, he puts your friendship on a pedestal above anything else.
He thinks he’ll be more than content to be just your friend. Maybe.
“How gracious of you, brother,” Anne smirked, in this light it was almost like the old Anne.
Sebastian smirked at her, masking indifference, “I try.”
He should’ve known. Anne would be the one who might just see through all of him, even the things he likes to keep from his head. Even his most impossible dreams of cozy cottages and soft days.
“Sebastian!” The twins straightened up at your voice, both felt like they had been caught red-handed as you cheerfully rounded the corner. “Oh, was I interrupting –”
“No, not at all!” Anne pushed Sebastian firmly, making him stumble and catch himself just as he was about to crash into you. The proximity forces him to stare as your eyes crinkled when you smiled. He stops breathing.
You’ll look dazzling in white; he thinks.
“Your uncle told me your neighbor had some mint in their garden, said you could help me find it? It would go well with the juice.”
Sebastian’s eyes fell to your lips as you spoke before physically ripping his eyes out to look at your eyes, nodding, as his brain tried to keep up between his imagination and the reality of your face in front of his.  You grinned, already walking towards the door. He lets out a breath, the faint traces of your perfume that he gave you wafting an enchanting trail that kept his gaze on your retreating back.
“Get on with it,” Anne pushed him again and this time he gave her his deadliest glare as he followed after you. “You can’t hide her in Feldcroft forever.”
“Zip it.”
Solomon stood next to Anne as they stared at the two sweethearts in their own worlds as they made an adventure out of the small trip. Anne couldn’t help but giggle when Sebastian tripped because he was too busy looking at you instead of the road.
“Are men always this stubborn and stupid?”
“No,” Solomon grumbled, heart aching fondly when in a blink he could almost see a different mirage of figures that were both familiar and strangers at the same time. “He’s just his father’s son.”
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“It’s over.”
Sebastian turned his head, straying his eyes away from the night sky framed by the room’s glass ceiling to look at you.  “It’s over.”
The two of you lay down on the floor of the room of requirement, sneaking away from the graduation party to spend the last moments of your life as a student in Hogwarts together. It wasn’t intentional, you had sneaked out for a proper goodbye to the sentient room and thanked it for everything it had provided for you but, like always, Sebastian had gotten ahold of your sneaking form before you could take two steps away from his side.
Sebastian can see that the inevitability of it all is making you emotional, a Hogwarts-shaped hole already forming in the crevices of your heart. The thought of no longer having this haven to escape the world's cruel realities makes him sigh.
“I’m terrified,” your whispered confession surprised him.
His gallant darling? Scared?
“What for?”
You smiled at him sheepishly. “It feels stupid but … I’m scared of things changing. I feel like that little girl again – 15 years old and alone in this great, big world I was thrust into.” Sebastian noticed a shudder crawl over your body. “And this time I won’t have a cheeky Slytherin lad to show me around.”
Sebastian frowned, unsure if he was more disappointed at you for thinking you would lose him that easily or at himself for not nailing that the two of you were tethered forevermore in that bright head of yours.
Instead, he took your shaking hands that you tried to hide and held on to it tight.
You smiled up at him. “Promise to stay in touch?”
He could almost scoff at such an understatement of a request. Do you know I’m never letting you go?
“You’re not getting away from me that easily,” he grinned, hoping to charm the rest of your remnant fears away. “I expect weekly letters while I’m away from training.”
You scrunched your nose, which he thinks is just adorable “What? So you can brag to your fellow trainees you have a lovesick lady waiting for you at home?”
He laughed at that, eyes crinkling and heart racing, “Maybe I should keep a photo of you plastered on my wall then, really commit to the part. A pretty face like you on my walls should make me the envy of my entire group.”
Her laugh came out nervous, her grip on his hands tightened. She’s still scared.
If only he had been sorted in Gryffindor maybe then he would’ve been daring enough to say something. To fall to his knees in this room and let his forehead kiss the ground and beg you to stay with him, run away with him, marry him. To let him spend the rest of his lowly life making sure you will never be lonely again.
But the fates were cruel and for all his pretense of confidence, the gods’ honest truth is he is a coward. A coward with no prospects.
If he wants your hand he needs to prepare, to follow the plan he had mapped out since the night he had realized he would very much like to spend the rest of his life with you or die trying. He might not be worth anything for now but he’ll make himself enough.  He just needs to hold on … just two more years – it’s all he asks.
Just two years for him to establish himself, to become someone, to earn the right to ask you. He knows it will be hard, you’ll be engrossed in your own research and won’t be able to see him as he trains to be an auror. And there was always a risk of you meeting someone else but he’s already made Poppy swear to report everything to him while she accompanies you in your travels, a contingency plan for any hurdle that may put a wrench in his plans.
If all of this fails then so be it, but he won’t lose you from a lack of planning or trying.
“Why are you looking at me like that?
He didn’t realize he was staring at you while his thoughts ran wild. The dark of your eyes reflected the ceilings you had charmed with the sky of the Forbidden Forest. The dim hue of the room made you look ethereal, like a forest fairy sent to lead him to a beautiful doom. He’d follow you anywhere.
Is it too soon to tell you I love you?
Is it too late?
“Have I ever told you that you’re the only one I need?” Sebastian suddenly whispered, vulnerable.
It’s the closest thing he’ll allow himself to say for now, placating the intensity of his need to be close to you by properly laying on his side and pressing a firm hand on your cheeks as you followed his lead, your own loosely dangling on his waist.
“Don’t you think Ominis will be quite offended by that?” you teased, your fingers tracing patterns on his spine.
He couldn’t help but match your grin, “He’ll live.”
“Sebastian,” your words quiet but he moved his hand at the back of your head to pull you in closer, muffling your following words on his chest. “Promise me nothing will change?”
Sebastian’s hold on you tensed, pressing the gentlest kiss at the top of your head to silence his protests.
No, he wants to scream. Everything has to change.
He’ll change everything for you.
“I promise,” he lies.
He’s no Gryffindor, after all.
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[ 5 years later ]
“I almost fucking killed you!”
You rolled your eyes, which was a bad idea considering the curse that malfunctioned in Gringott’s brought upon a gaggle of Inferis along with a mutated one that grew about ten feet tall. Before it could lunge straight at your head, Sebastian – Merlin’s beard, he was still as handsome as the day you had left Hogwarts – pulled you into him before casting a Protego followed by a Confringo, blasting the undead’s arm away.
Still his favorite after all these years.
“What? You become a bigshot Auror and forget my face?!”
With an Incendio, the rest of the Inferis were now weakened enough that Sebastian was able to finish them all in one go (bloody hell!). Giving you time to gather yourself and lash out a heavy burst of ancient magic to take care of the giant Inferi once and for all.
You wobbled from the effort but firm hands and a chest caught you. When you looked up you were greeted by a cantankerous Sebastian covered in dust and dirt.
“As if I could see your face in those ridiculous glasses you’re wearing. Is that a lizard’s eye?”
You pulled on the offending thing, turning and standing on your tiptoes to put it on him, then he could see that it helps with seeing the traps laid out around the vault. “Satisfied your inquiries, Mr. Auror?”
He pushed the glasses to the top of his head, still looking down at you with a suspicious glare. Damn him and damn the entire male race for their inability to stop growing their limbs. “I should have you arrested. Illegally breaking into Gringots? What were you thinking?”
“Please, any curse-breaker you sent this way would’ve been eaten by that curse, I barely got out with my life if not for my ancient magic.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows twitched in the familiar way when he wasn’t particularly fond of you – which usually only happens when you throw yourself in danger … like today. Old habits die hard.
“I –”
“Save it,” he raised a palm. You sucked your lips into a thin line comically – it has been half a decade since you last saw him after all, you’re not entirely quite sure If this Sebastian in front of you would hesitate in throwing his prodigal best friend into the cold stone walls of a ministry ordained prison. “You owe me.”
Before he could, you fired off a blast of ancient magic behind him, crushing the lone Inferi that was bidding its time under a rock. You smirked. “Are we even now?”
“Not even fucking close,” His face was blank, unamused. Sebastian’s patience has never been the longest but this is one of the few times his ire was aimed at you, the novelty of it would make you blush if you weren’t so guilty. “Where have you been?”
This time it was your smile that fell, eyes dropping with it in shame. Straight to it, huh.
“Sebastian … I left a lett –“
“A letter! You call that a letter?!” He guffawed, turning his back on you and started pacing just at the ledge that led to a very, very, long fall to the bottom of Gringotts. Your fingers twitched to reach out for him but you had a feeling he wasn’t particularly interested in getting mothered right now as he spiraled out the words you’re sure he had surely been holding the past years. “My dearest friend, one who fights trolls for practice and is the most wanted woman of all dark wizards in the country disappears without a trace even when I spent an entire year searching for her –”
He looked for you?
“—but oh no! All is well Sebastian, she left you a bloody note!”
You felt like a reprimanded toddler but maybe (just maybe) you deserved it. “It wasn’t my finest moment.”
Something in your words snapped the last of Sebastian’s nerve. The gall of you – to stand here like it was nothing. The days he had spent tracking you, dreading the moment he would be greeted by your corpse.
How dare you leave? How dare you leave him? Of all the people in this world you were the one who was supposed to stay on his side.
‘I’ll be back. I promise. I just need time’
He marched to where you were standing, cupping both of your shoulders so you can look at him. “I will be given an explanation.”
Instead, your eyes fell on his left hand. He followed your line of sight, the gold band around his finger making all your cruelest nightmares come true.
How did it come to this? You scoured your memories of your entire friendship – how had the two of you come from being unable to keep a single secret from each other to strangers that have too many unspoken grievances in between them?
Was this inevitable?
Finally, you gathered your strength. He did deserve the truth from you of all people. And you could truly never keep a secret from Sebastian even now – which is also why you left. The shame, the unjustified anger, the hurt in your chest when you looked at him – you couldn’t handle it.
“I … I heard from Leander.”
His frown deepened. What does Leander have anything to do with this?
“I was going to visit you on the last weekend of your training. Then Leander caught me in town and he said … he said that after you had finished your auror training you were planning to propose, that you were already looking for a ring.”
He is going to kill that orange blabbermouth fuc –
“I couldn’t – surely, you couldn’t be that daft. I … I loved you, Sebastian! And I know I’m your friend and I should’ve been there for you. And I really am – I am happy for you,” you took his hand, your gentle touch shakily running through the gold band around his ring finger as you tried to hold back the tears. It felt like it was mocking you, like it could burn a mark on your skin. “If anyone deserves to build a family it would be you. I just … in that moment I couldn’t be happy for you. I needed to remove myself from the situation and I couldn’t say goodbye – you wouldn’t have let me! I panicked and I was hurt and … I really am sorry. I’m so sorry, Sebastian.”
As humiliating as it was to say all the hurt that you were carrying with you as you traveled the world to escape your love for him it did make you feel lighter. Were you a coward? Maybe so. But you will not shame your past self for what she did out of hurt and fear. It was painful but necessary.
It wasn’t until Sebastian was cupping your face and wiping your cheeks with his thumb that you realized you had been crying.
“Darling, who did you think the ring was for?”
You blinked, “What?”
You could tell he was trying to lengthen his patience with you, clearly as he was the more emotionally stable one at the moment even though it looked like he was at the precipice of choking you. "Have I ever told you that I was courting anyone?”
The conversation was taking a turn you weren't expecting. “N-No, but Leander and Everett used to keep teasing you about the Ministry girls that was always at your tail so I just assumed …”
He raised his eyebrows, holding onto your cheeks tighter so you had to look at him. For the first time in your entire friendship, you couldn’t read him at all. “I assumed you became interested in one of them.”
He sighed, “No, sweetheart. I did not become interested in any of them.”
You frowned, still feeling the cold ring on your cheek. “Then who did you marry?”
“I’m … not married.” This time it was him who seemed to blush, actually breaking eye contact to chuckle. When he looked back at you it was like you were getting a peek of the boyish Sebastian you once knew. “I would have been if the beautiful witch I had been chasing did not disappear on me right when I was about to propose.”
His words sunk into you like molasses, the wrinkle in between your eyebrows disappearing as your eyes widened in realization. Surely, he doesn’t mean –
“I just wore it since I would’ve been wearing it either way if someone had said yes. And it’s a more effective way to ward off any hopefuls. A little white lie to cover up my bruised heart and spare their egos”
“Wait, wait –“you tried to push him away but one of his arms just wrapped around your back, pushing your chest to his. He wasn’t going to let you get away this time, if he has to cast a binding spell on you without your knowledge then so be it.
The past five years had been torture enough.
“I guess it’s what I deserved. Letting the love of my life wait around just because my pride wanted me to earn the right to ask for her hand. The Hero of Hogwarts, the brightest witch of our age – surely, I couldn’t just ask her, could I?”
The abundance of information threatened to drown your head in. Pieces of the grand puzzle that never seemed to fit right clicking and clacking in your head as you slowly pieced together the blanks in the history of your relationship because you didn’t bother to ask and he didn’t bother to say anything.
He means you right? He was going to propose to you? The bloody ring you’ve been having nightmares about was for you?!
But he had never … I mean sure you flirted here and there but it was nothing … official. No words were ever shared, no announcements, nor formality.
It was all very … murky and ambiguous.
“Hey, back to me, darling,” he gently pressed his thumb that was still holding on to your cheek. “I swear even when we’re together it’s like you’re still running away.” As if suddenly lost in thought himself he murmured, “Should I charm a chain on you, after all?”
You blinked and the dark glint in his eyes that you had only seen in his darkest moments in your fifth year disappeared, now replaced with a small cheeky smile.
“Sebastian, the ring was it – surely it wasn’t –”
“For you?” He was so close now that you could count all the freckles in his face, his lips running through your cheeks, even pressing a kiss on your temple. “Then riddle me this, my love – if not for you then who else would it be for? Hmm? Who else would I be begging to be my wife if not my most treasured friend? The one person who stood beside me through it all?”
Another kiss on your cheeks. “The only light in my life?”
The underside of your jaw. “The beautiful witch who had rudely stolen my heart when we were children then had the nerve to run away with it just as I was able to gather all the courage I had to ask for hers in return?”
He moved both of his hands to wrap around your waist, pulling and pulling and pulling as if he wanted to meld the two of you together. “Who else but you? There was and would’ve been nobody else but you.”
A shadow of a kiss at the edge of your lips. “You’re the only woman I have ever loved.”
Your heart threatens to explode.
“And you’re the only one I will ever love,” he whispered, but the quiet of the caves of Gringotts made his voice echo inside your overheating skull.
You had been aware of Sebastian’s charms when you were younger but now that he was using his pretty face and raspy voice at its full extent while professing his love for you in the murky caves of Gringotts and pieces of Inferi corpses scattered on the ground – you could almost feel your brain malfunctioning.
“I had resigned myself to a life of isolation if you had never come back,” he declared. “But you did. Why?”
He was not going to accept anything less than the truth. The intensity behind his eyes, the grip he has around you was so firm you were almost hanging off the ground. The unbearable weight of your guilt for almost driving this man to insanity even if it had not been your intention had you letting go of your defenses.
“Because I missed you,” you admitted, eyes looking straight at him to finally bare your soul. “And I couldn’t find anything the world could offer that could compare to you. Even if we just remained friends I –”
His chuckle cut you off.
“We could never just be friends,” he whispered, you couldn’t agree more. “We were never just friends. Darling, I’m not a religious man but if soulmates are real then yours and mine have always been tied to each other. And if whatever god is up there was cruel enough not to have done that then I would’ve knotted it myself.”
You giggle through your tears – you had played out so many fantasies of Sebastian’s confessions and yet now that you were living your wildest dreams it felt like your heart was trying to escape your chest.
“If you hadn’t come back, it would’ve done nothing short of killing me, you have to know that,” a ragged breath escapes him as if the mere memory of your escape were enough to cause him physical pain. “Because I love you and I have always loved you even back when I didn’t know what love is. Even when love was a mere flutter in my chest every time I looked at you. Even when I was a fool in a path to destruction I … I have always, always loved you.”
You nodded, almost gasping at the intensity of his words. “I love you too, Sebastian. So much. I would’ve always come back. I couldn’t – I would’ve honestly poisoned your wife if you had married another.”
A laugh exploded out of his mouth at your sudden proclamation, echoing through the eerie corners of the caves. “And I had more than enough daydreams of torturing any lovers you might’ve taken in your travels.” The sickly-sweet tone that contrasted such horrid words had you giggling.
“Think we should stick to each other then?” You roped an arm around his neck, letting him carry your dead weight. “Spare some poor suckers from poisons and murders.”
He grinned, leaning in closer and closer, “You always had been the one with bright ideas.”
You smiled just as he finally pressed his lips into yours. Even your wildest dream couldn’t compare to this. Sebastian’s greedy grip on your waist, his familiar scent, his taste – him. It wasn’t perfect – a bit too rough, too needy yet somehow never enough – it was better, a perfect amalgamation of your entire relationship.
“Marry me,” he commanded in between kisses, too desperate to separate from you for more than a second. “Tell me you’ll have me.”
“You’re mine,” You gasp when he suddenly turned you around and pressed you on the jagged wall of the cave. “Always been mine.”
You’ve never not been mine.
Suddenly, Sebastian ended your kisses, a whine slipping out of your throat which he placated with a quick peck before he haphazardly pulled a necklace of some kind around his neck, snapping it to let the pendant fall into his palms.
Only it wasn’t a pendant. It was a ring. The ring.
“Oh my, Sebastian,” your vision blurs with tears as he gently takes your shaking hand, slipping the beautiful jewelry on your ring finger where it shall sit forever. “It’s beautiful. I can’t wait to marry you.”
He groaned, pressing his forehead to your temple as you continued to admire the ring on your finger.
“You keep buttering me up like this and I’ll have to kidnap the first priest I see when we get out of here.”
“I wouldn’t object to that, we’ve never been one for propriety.”
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“I can’t believe we had our first kiss in Gringott’s of all places,” he muttered, the vibration of his voice tickling your chest as he buries his face in it.
“That wasn’t my first kiss.”
That had his head snapping, eyes murderous at your words. "What?”
“It wasn’t yours either.”
“Huh.”
You nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact as he tries to scour through his memories.
“Remember our fight in the Room of Requirement? About the Triwizards game?”
He winced. “I’d rather not remember that.”
You shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
You settled back, knowing him well enough to know his mind was rapidly working through his memories to figure out the cryptic declaration you had confessed.
It had been frustrating when you had remembered such important event days after it happened. All it had taken was a faint whiff of Sebastian’s shampoo in your pillow in the room of requirement before you were shooting up in your bed at the memories trickling in your brain as you tried to figure out if it had been one of your more apparent daydreams only to scream when you had realized it had happened and the two of you completely forgot about it.
You had become wary of Sebastian then, staring and studying his face at any hint that he also had the luck of remembering such bold confessions from you. You aren’t sure if you were more relieved or disappointed when he showed no inkling of gaining the curse of such knowledge like you.
But at your sudden engagement to him, you believe you have suffered enough of such vexations alone. You are to be married after all which means the two of you shall share every burden from now on -- even the most embarrassing and frustrating ones.
Sebastian’s muscles locked, pushing himself up to cage you in bed as his frantic eyes widened.
You grin. He remembers.
“No fucking way.”
“Yes way.”
He slumps back down in your chest, groaning. “Are you sure you're okay with marrying a bloody idiot?”
Your body shakes with laughter. “Lucky for you, idiots are just my type.”
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