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widowmaxff · 7 months ago

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In overwhelmed, it mentions that Y/N used to be in a dark hole and how Wanda is afraid she’d go back to it. Can you write about it? Like what happened?

hope ur ok

pairings: mom!wanda × daughter!reader (platonic)

warnings: depressed reader, cryingg, bad thoughts, and sad sad things

a/n: okay how did you pay so much attention to what i wrote in overwhelmed bc i didnt even remember writing that 😭 BUT THANK YOU for the request i literally just ramble what was in my head but hope you like it love!

HOW YOU CAN HELP PALESTINE!

You don't know when it started, much less why it started. Maybe a few days ago, a month ago, maybe a year ago the signs that something was wrong started to appear. It was almost as if these feelings were always there, just hidden by a layer that was slowly removed and made everything more difficult. It seemed like there were days when you could easily deal with it, maybe ignoring it or just hiding it very well, you didn't know. But there were days that were more difficult. It was more difficult to get out of bed, your appetite was barely there, you didn't want to leave your room, just stay in darkness and total silence. Even though this silence made your head spin, it was better than anyone talking and making you even more depressed.

If someone asked the people closest to you if you were sensitive, you were sure that more than half of them would say no. They would talk about how you had a frozen heart, that you didn't cry when you watched a sad movie, that you didn't fall in love with the character when watching or reading a novel, that you didn't care when someone was fighting with you. But deep down, you knew it was a lie. You felt hard feelings most of the time, including when watching sad films. Maybe you just don't like showing the sadness and emptiness you feel. It makes you feel weak, worthless, and selfish, especially selfish. You shouldn't feel this way, not when you had the perfect life: a loving mother, food on the table, new clothes, and expensive sneakers. Then why?

You didn't really care that you felt depressed, you knew that eventually it would pass, just like every other time - even if that feeling came back some time later, even worse. It wasn't like anyone noticed and said anything to you, even though you were sure most of the adults around you blamed it on teenage hormones when they saw you sulking or just isolating yourself in your room all day. Maybe a few questions like 'are you okay?', even though they knew you would respond with something positive even if everything was falling apart. But there was always someone. Someone who knew that it wasn't just teenage hormones but something that was slowly consuming you. Wanda, your mother, was that someone, and she certainly didn't let those details slip.

The first time you actually showed that you were in a depressing state was on a random Thursday at six-thirty in the morning. Wanda didn't mind much in the first moments when you refused to get out of bed, it was normal for any teenager to not be able to stand school. But when you finally decided to show up for the morning in the Compound's kitchen, she was surprised. You had big black bags under your eyes that were tired and red, looking like you hadn't slept well that night and maybe you had been crying most of it. Wanda didn't take long to ask if something had happened and if you were okay, only receiving a murmur of something like ‘'m fine' before turning back to look at the emptiness of space. Tony who was nearby joked “Maybe the red eyes are because of something she used. Don't tell me you snuck out to a party, Mini Maximoff?”, you'd laugh on any other day, even replying something like 'Yes, I did some hard drugs at a party. How do you know?', but that wasn't the case. Stark laughed to himself after saying that sentence but soon the sound of his voice disappeared when he realized that you hadn't heard him and, apparently, nothing around you.

The second time was right after a mission Wanda had done. It was only three days away from you and everything seemed different when she came back. The first thing she noticed was that you didn't run into her arms when she stepped inside the Compound, much less respond to the messages she sent you a few hours earlier. Obviously like a worried mother she went after you, not taking long to find you in your room with all the lights off, two blankets around your body and how it looked like the things in your room had been in the same place since your mother left for the mission. She turned on the light in your room, hearing a soft growl leave your lips. You were awake and conscious, so it didn't make sense for you to want to be lying down and almost sinking into your mattress at four o'clock in the afternoon. She remembered when you were little and couldn't sleep if at least one light wasn't on, now it was ironic to think that you just lived in the darkness and emptiness of your room without fear that some monster would catch you, because no monster could hurt you like depression was.

Wanda couldn't count how many more episodes like those happened and lasted for several days. She was worried, very worried. She was afraid that you would end up doing something that would hurt you, end everything. It was obvious that your mother tried to ask you what was wrong, how she could help you, but you always said that you just woke up on the wrong foot that morning and that everything was fine. Of course, how were you going to tell her what was happening if you didn't even know. There was no reason for you to feel down like that and not even the absurd desire to just want to close your eyes and not open them again. And every day that passed, this dark hole you were in would get deeper and deeper. You knew you needed to ask for help before it was too late.

It was no longer strange when once again that week you had no will to live. You look at the clock next to your bed and realize that your mother would be coming to your room to call you for another day in two minutes and a few seconds. Just the thought of 'one more day' made you want to throw up the food you didn't even eat the day before, as that empty feeling made your hunger go away. But as much as vomiting, you wanted to cry, cry until you couldn't take it anymore. And it was no surprise when the tears started to fall and you couldn't stop. Even though you are not a loud person, trying to keep yourself in your own bubble, the sobs wanted to get out of your throat anyway.

“Darling?” Wanda didn't mind knocking on your bedroom door in the morning, since you would be sleeping, well, not at that moment. When she heard the choking sounds you were making to keep from crying, she didn't take long to run towards your body on the bed and get under your covers, pressing you against her chest giving the perfect comfort to let you know that you weren't alone. “Oh, my love.” Wanda has seen you cry, many, many times, but it was so different to see you cry as if you were drowning in a sea and needed help from someone, anyone. “It's okay, Mama is here.” With each passing minute it seemed like the tears were getting even bigger than before, but you tried to focus on Wanda's heartbeat as you placed your hand on her chest, making you feel calmer despite all the panic.

The lullaby that starts to leave her lips and go straight to your ear makes you start paying attention to the soft melody and not your terrible thoughts. The language Wanda sang in, Sokovian, was not understood by you, but you still remembered when she sang you to sleep on the days you had nightmares. It was as if Wanda was using her magic to calm you down, even though you knew she would never use her powers on you without your permission, but her voice was so sweet that it was more powerful than any of her red magic. Your breathing becomes soft and your movements slow, as if you were choosing the right words to get rid of that moment, but with your mother there it was almost impossible to lie.

“I wanna get help,” You murmur for just her to hear, despite there being no one else in the room with you two. “b-but I don’t even know why I’m like this.” Your crying had stopped, but you still choked to say a few words. Admitting those words out loud seemed like a challenge for you, and when you said them, a weight seemed to lift off your back despite not having yet deciphered all your feelings. And Wanda knew that. She knew how hard you were to avoid looking like a weak person even if you weren't, even if asking for help wasn't a sign of weakness but rather of improvement.

Your mother kisses your head, taking a few seconds before cupping your face and looking at it. “I'm so proud of you, my angel.” You didn't see pity or lies in the expression on her face. You didn't see disappointment and much less as if you were a problem for her. “I'm glad you want to ask for help, and I'm here for it, yeah?” You felt a little guilty when you saw a tear come out of your mother's eyes, but she was still smiling. The same smile you saw when you woke up, or when you told her some good news, or even when you told her a joke. Wanda never wanted you to feel anything negative about her. She never took out any frustration on you, never made you feel bad when you got a bad grade at school, or when you accidentally knocked a glass on the floor. “I will help you with whatever you need, my love. It will be slow, but I promise that the tightness in your chest will pass, okay?”

“I trust you.” She nods before pulling you into a hug that she knew you needed more than anything at that moment. The process would take a long time until you felt well again, you both knew that, but it was never too late. It's never too late to ask for help, because it's normal to need someone to pull you out of the dark hole sometimes, it's normal to not feel good all the time. Having feelings is normal, even if sometimes they are too deep, or too shallow. You just needed to realize that you were never alone, that people around care about you and will always want the best for you.

“I love you so much. Always remember that.”

“I love you too, Mama.”

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eteisvalssi · 7 months ago

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gig report london 11.4.2024

now that i'm back home and stuck inside for a couple of days bc of bovid, i can finally finish my gig report from london! it's gonna be a long one 😅

i won't be getting too much into how i traveled to london bc the story is long, but let's just say that i would arrange it differently now that i experienced it

in london i met up with @joyuntold, who was my roommate for the two nights! kiitos for letting me tag along with you <3 we had so much fun just yapping the night before the concert that i almost forgot how tired i was at that point 😂

i hadn't slept in well over 24 hours so i went to sleep at 8pm local time and had a good night's sleep before going queueing so that i could stay there for the whole day after i'd gotten my number

the queue had already started the day before because of a misunderstanding and it being posted on social media, which caused the word to spread and suddenly everyone was getting their numbers and just going away for several hours. can we please just not do this?

i did have a fun time in the queue though! there were a lot of familiar faces but i just got really shy with my english for some reason and felt very awkward not talking, so i hung out with my finns a lot during the day

but everyone i talked to that day like overall was just super nice once again! i met and talked to a few mutuals too!

the first band member we saw was jure, he walked past the queue and we all just said hi to him

jan and nace came to the venue together shortly after. i waved at them and nace waved back :)

i didn't see the other band members come to the venue but we did see the family guštin walk by a couple of times

the ee line worked so well, we formed the number queue ourselves and the crowd management worked really well for us. there were multiple lines formed for every type of ticket, but i heard that the ga line was not as successful

i had already lost my hope for barricade on jan and nace's side with how many people there were in the queue before me, but i literally got the perfect spot on the barricade and didn't even have to run for it!

when we got inside i had already completely forgotten about the soundcheck so i was actually surprised when they came on stage 😅 they played astp and proti toku

roots & wings were fun, they were just trying really hard and that was kinda adorable :)

elle coves was amazing! hadn't listened to her songs at all beforehand but i really enjoyed it!

they played the gola setlist and i do get why it's their favorite one

kris especially was on fire during the gig!! idk if it was because his family was there but he gave his everything on stage

we got the demoni scream!!!

also idk what was in padam that night but bojan was really living it and i really felt it and got literal goosebumps

i remember there being a moment when i was like the jance shippers are gonna eat this one up, but i'm too feverish to remember what it was rn

we had a surprise guest on stage! louie starkey, grandson of ringo starr, came on stage during umazane misli and did his own solo.

a finnish translation of umazane misli was also sung that night by yours truly <3 i have no memory from that moment but i just saw a video of it and bojan showed a thumbs up to the band when i started singing 😂 btw if anyone else has any footage from that moment, i would love to see more!

we were like there's no way they're not gonna play ssol and were kinda shocked that it was not on the setlist, but of course they came to play it as an extra encore

after the gig i stayed at the barricade and kiki came over to give the setlists and i got one <3 that was the first time i'd even tried to get one so i was kinda surprised to get it, but it's now on the wall next to my photos i got printed :)

when we went outside there were a lot of people waiting and bojan did come to greet us quickly and take the picture he posted on instagram

i waited for a while but my feet were hurting so much from standing all day that i called it a day just a bit too early and just went to the hotel

the next day i found out that if i'd literally walked back towards the venue with the others instead of leaving to the hotel i would've met some of them 😅

my next two days were spent exploring london, we went to camden town with a friend i'd met before at a gig but we only got to know each other in london! and on saturday i was on a bus on my way to london and it was a sunny day and suddenly sunny side of london started playing from my playlist and that felt so good

overall it was a very fun experience! i got to meet so many cool people, i saw my favorite band yet again, i sung in finnish at fucking shepherd's bush empire, i basically traveled solo for the first time and it went very well. i'm really glad i decided to go :)

also i joked about getting bovid from the gig when i was feeling kinda stuffy and tired yesterday and today i tested positive with covid 🤠

#joker out #joker out 11.4.2024 #personal #jenny goes to london #i can't really think of anything else anymore #but might update it later

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azenkii · 4 years ago

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A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

#holy cow this ended up so much longer than i intended #atla #avatar #zuko #firelord zuko #headcanons

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blossom-hwa · 4 years ago

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valentine’s day + stray kids ✧

the enablers: @wingkkun by virtue of their existence and @thepixelelf bc of her @newskynet valentine’s day prompt list (which can be found here! check it out :D) anyway you can blame them for my word vomits tonight tomorrow <3 happy early valentine’s day and I hope you enjoy these blurbs!

pairing: stray kids x gender neutral!reader (one blurb for each member!)

wc: 3.5k (total)

genre: fluff, lots of fluff, university!au

triggers: cursing

golcha version | the boyz version

SKZ Scenarios Masterlist | SKZ Drabbles Masterlist

1. “shit, what day is it again?”

when chan opens the door to a beaming you, he has no idea what’s going on. he still has headphones around his neck, there are definitely bags under his eyes, he hasn’t slept in maybe close to twenty hours, and there is definitely something important that he’s forgetting, judging by the nonplussed expression that has now slid over your face.

“chan, when did you sleep last night?” you ask, stepping into his dorm. you’re holding something behind your back that chan’s craning his neck to see, but you catch sight and twist away. “hey, no looking.”

the knowledge that you have something is more than enough, though, to get his overly tired brain actually thinking. his eyes narrow. what the heck is he forgetting -

oh.

oh no.

chan scrambles around for his phone as you look over, eyebrows rising as he pats his pockets. “shit, what day is it again?”

you hold up your own phone, giving him an eyeful of your lock screen set to a picture of himself laughing into the camera. he isn’t focused on that, though - he’s focused on the words underneath the time that say “february 14, 2021.”

“oh my god, it’s valentine’s day.”

“no shit, sherlock.” you put a finger to his forehead and press hard. “i made reservations.”

“what? okay, no, i swear you didn’t tell me about this -”

“i didn’t, chan.” you smile, shaking your head. “it was supposed to be a surprise. and i knew you’d forget the day or something because you always do lose track of time - hey, don’t look at me that way, i even made a bet with minho on the way and i’m right - so i came early to force you to sleep for several hours before we go out.”

okay, that’s fair, but chan’s lips curve downward into a pout anyway. “i didn’t forget,” he protests. “well, i forgot today, but i still have something for you! i got it last week.” he looks around frantically, then drags a box out from underneath his bed. “here!”

a wide smile splits your face and you pull your own present from behind your back, a red-wrapped box that chan begins to open as you cuddle the teddy bear he’s handed over to you. “chan, you sap,” you say, words muffled in the bear’s fur. “god i love you.”

“and i love you too,” he replies, pulling out a box of his favorite candy. “kiss?”

laughing, you press your lips together once, twice before pulling away. “sleep time,” you announce. “no kisses until you’ve gotten at least three hours.”

chan all but lunges into bed, trapping you with him between his arms. “sleeping now,” he says, voice muffled into your shirt. “goodnight.”

“good afternoon, more like.” you smile anyway, stroking his hair. “but good night.”

18. “oh my god, this chocolate tastes like chalk.”

minho is about to lose his shit in this tiny hospital bed with the sterile white sheets and curtains barring sunlight from streaming on his body. back when his ankle wasn’t broken to high hell, he really hadn’t given the sun enough appreciation. after three days of almost zero movement, though, he swears he’ll actually go outside voluntarily once he gets out of here.

the door opens. a head peeks in.

ah. there’s his daily dose of human sunshine.

a smile slides onto minho’s face as you come in, arms full of snacks and flowers. you place a bouquet of red roses on the little table beside his bed and dump the snacks onto his sheets. “happy valentine’s day, idiot boyfriend who broke his ankle just three days before today.”

minho scowls. “it’s not like i tried to.”

“i know. even you’re not that dumb.” you pat his head mockingly, laughing as minho’s scowl deepens. “sit up, idiot. here, i’ll help.”

he allows his frown to turn into a grudging smile as you help him sit properly in bed, careful not to jar his ankle before passing him one of the bags of chocolates in his lap. “jisung gave this to me for you and asked me to ask you if you would be his valentine.”

minho pauses in opening the bag. “what.”

“jisung for you.” you laugh. “his partner was right next to him laughing their ass off. try the chocolates.”

he picks one out. puts it in his mouth. chews. “oh my god, this chocolate tastes like chalk.”

“what - how the fuck do you know what chalk tastes like?”

“i don’t, what the fuck? i just imagine it would taste like this.”

you snort. “so my boyfriend first breaks his ankle dancing three days before we valentine’s, and on this romantic day i learn he’s definitely eaten chalk.” you sigh, snatching a bag of gummies from the sheets. “what a day.”

“i don’t eat chalk!”

“bet.”

he opens his mouth to reply, but you cut him off with a kiss. “eat your chalk chocolate,” you direct when you pull away. “or jisung will get upset.”

“ugh fine.” he rolls his eyes. “but i’m only listening to you because i love you.”

“cheeseball.” you smile. “i love you too.”

20. “babe.” / “since when do you call me babe?”

grinning, jisung picks up the bouquet of roses you were about to hand him before falling to the ground in laughter. “these for me?”

“no, they’re for my valentine.” you snatch them back, still wheezing. “which was going to be you, but you ditched me for minho, so now i need to find someone else.”

“aw, come on.” jisung pouts, pursing his lips actively even as you try to hide the smile on your face by turning away. “y/n! y/n. y/nnnnnnnnn. y/n, look at me. please? y/n. babe.”

“what the - jisung - since when do you call me babe?” your half disgusted, half amused face sends him into hysterics as he glomps you in a hug, laughing into your shoulder. “hey, sung! get away! you’re drooling on my clothes!”

“am not!” jisung pulls away, trying to pout but laughing too hard to do so. you just looked so fucking funny. “and what’s wrong with me calling you babe?”

“don’t do it again.” you push his shoulder. “do not. you won’t like the consequences.”

“consequences?”

“one, you don’t get these flowers. i’ll put them in my own room.” you wave the bouquet in front of him. “two, i give chan the all clear to play ‘wow’ on his campus radio station.”

“you wouldn’t dare -”

“three, no kisses for a week.”

jisung falls to his knees. “no, no, y/n, my beautiful and wonderful significant partner, i will never call you babe again, please don’t sentence me the barren world of no kisses for a week just because of my idiot mouth -”

“jesus christ, jisung, get up. you’re making a scene.” you laugh anyway, pulling him up before placing a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips. “i was just joking. but please don’t call me babe if you don’t want me to cringe to the next dimension.”

“done deal.” jisung holds his out his hands. “flowers?”

you roll your eyes, handing them over. he breathes in their scent, smiling widely. “they’re so pretty!” then he looks up and winks. “but not as pretty as you.”

at that, you laugh again, crushing the bouquet as you wrap him in a hug. “i love you so much, jisung,” you murmur into his ear.

his arms reach out to loop around your waist as he pulls you closer. “i love you too,” he replies, smiling.

for a moment, you two only stand, finding peace in each other’s warmth. then jisung’s mouth runs once more.

“you know, i wrote my lyrics for ‘wow’ thinking of you.”

“do you have to ruin every moment?”

14. “you’re seriously asking me out on valentine’s day?”

changbin doesn’t even bother to reply to the picture jisung’s just sent of the flowers his partner gave him. he’s too nervous, his stomach literally fluttering as he stops his motorcycle by the curb and wheels it into the shop.

“hi, welcome, what can i - changbin?” you raise an eyebrow. “did you seriously bang up your motorcycle on valentine’s day?”

changbin’s ears turn bright red. he knows it even if he can’t see them. you think he always comes here because something else has magically gone wrong with his motorcycle, but what you don’t know is that he’s been pretending things are wrong with the vehicle for months at this point just so he has an excuse to see you.

and now it’s valentine’s day. the day he chose to fess up and admit how he feels and ask you on a date.

heck.

“nothing’s... broken.” changbin scratches his neck. “uh...”

both of your eyebrows are now high up on your forehead. “so why are you here?”

“i...” he coughs, feeling his ears flare even hotter. “i wanted - i wanted to ask if you -” he looks down, unable to look at you. “i wanted to ask if you would go out with me today. like. on a date.”

silence. he doesn’t have the courage to look up.

“you’re seriously asking me out on valentine’s day?”

changbin shrinks behind his motorcycle. holy fuck, this was the worst idea, you’re about to reject him and his heart is going to shatter -

then you step forward, place a hand on the vehicle. “okay, that came out wrong.” you tip his chin up gently so he’s forced to look into your soft, teasing eyes. “what i meant is that i’d love to go on a date with you today. i just didn’t expect you to ask me out on valentine’s day. didn’t seem like a very you thing to do.” you pause. “though i guess considering that song you played for me last time, it isn’t that surprising.”

oh, god. on track. changbin wrote that thinking of you.

“wait, seriously?”

he really just said that out loud. changbin groans, slapping his forehead. “why am i dumb,” he mumbles into his hand.

you laugh, peeling his hand away with grease-covered fingers. “you’re not dumb, bin. just sweet.” as he melts from the use of your nickname, you wave your greasy palm in front of his face. “let me go wash and tell seungmin to close up early. i’ll be out in a second.” you grin. “looking forward to whatever you have planned.”

(later, when you wrap your now clean arms around changbin’s waist on his motorcycle, he smiles so wide it feels like his face is going to split.)

25. “i love you.”

with a relieved sigh, seungmin locks up the shop, wiping grease-stained fingers on a towel. despite the fact that he mostly only handles the register, dirt still manages to get everywhere, even when he tries to be careful.

doesn’t matter. seungmin likes his job, likes it even though it’s a little hard to be independent from his parents after so many years of living off their credit card. the freedom is sweet, though - now he can learn what he wants, do what he wants, and best of all...

now he can date whom he wants.

seungmin smiles, running up to his dorm so he has just enough time to change and shower before meeting you. he cleans up quickly before grabbing the singular rose in a glass on his desk and racing downstairs once more, hair still slightly damp, to meet you in front of the building.

god, you’re beautiful, standing against the backdrop of the afternoon sun. in the moment that you don’t notice him walking out the door, he runs forward, smiling, before engulfing you in a back hug.

“hey - oh, seungmin.” he can hear the smile in your voice as you clutch his hands hanging around your shoulders. “you scared me!”

“sorry,” he says, pulling away to spin you around. god, looking into your laughing face, seungmin knows everything was worth it. he may have lived in the lap of luxury before, attending parties every other weekend and drinking the finest champagne while dressed in the most resplendent clothing (courtesy of the kim family empire), but luxury doesn’t mean much when he was missing real, true love, right? you were one of the first, other than hyunjin, to see through his cold facade and break into the warm heart underneath.

as he hands you the rose, he’s glad, so glad that you gave him the courage to go head to head with his parents for the first time, to finally break away from their strangling control over every bit of his life. what did he need parties and designer clothing and jewels for, anyway? he’s still living, still able to support himself even if it means a little more work. and even if he’s tired, he has your lips to come back to, every day.

“i love you,” he murmurs, kissing you softly, sweetly. “i really do, y/n.”

“so do i,” you breathe, smiling against his lips in reply.

12. “valentine’s day... that’s the one with the bunny, right?”

hyunjin kind of wants to hit you, significant other or not. judging by your shit-eating grin, you probably know exactly how he feels, but you keep your eyes as soft and innocent as possible. “no, i don’t know what day it is, hyunjin. isn’t it just february 14?”

“y/n.”

“hyunjin.”

he groans, sinking dramatically to the ground. “it’s valentine’s day.”

“oh. right.” you adopt a thinking expression, raising your eyes to the sky. “valentine’s day... that’s the one with the bunny, right?”

“y/n!”

“i’m kidding, i’m kidding!” you finally laugh, reaching out a hand to pull him up from the university quad. “hey, get up, hyunjin. you’re going to get your designer clothes dirty.”

shit, he is. hyunjin accepts your hand, dusting grass bits off of his shirt. “you’re so mean,” he whines. “to think i had a whole evening planned and all, just for you to pretend to forget the entire day.”

“ah, but i didn’t forget. i only pretended to.” you grin, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “and to prove it, i have something for you! close your eyes.”

eagerness and apprehension flooding his veins, hyunjin shuts his eyes. for a moment, he hears you digging around in your bag, and then you put something in his hand. “here!”

opening his eyes, hyunjin looks down to see a pair of elegant earrings in his palm. you made them, definitely - he can see the tiny mark of your initials etched in the metal of one earring, his initials on the other - and he smiles wide, so wide, all of your previous transgressions forgotten in this moment. “i love them,” he says, already unfastening the hoops currently in his ears to put the new ones in.

“i thought you would. hey, let me help.” your fingers take the earrings, deftly inserting one into each ear. “perfect.”

“i have something for you two, but you’ll get it later.” hyunjin pockets his old earrings before taking your hand. “right now, i’m taking you on a date.”

“what, i have no say in this?” your eyes sparkle.

“nope!” hyunjin laughs, swinging your arms in the air. “come on, i swear the evening’s going to be a lot of fun.”

“i believe you.” you stop him to kiss him once, softly. “everything’s fun with you, hyunjin.”

15. “shut up and kiss me.”

with the brownie box in his hands almost empty, felix makes every effort to dodge anyone who knows for fear that they’ll ask for one of the last few treats left inside. hyunjin took like five earlier, jesus christ, even when felix warned him he was saving some for you. ungrateful brat.

thankfully, no one accosts him, and he makes it to your meeting place without interruption. there you already are, mindlessly twirling a bouquet of roses around in your fingers. as he approaches, you look up, and felix is (once again) blown away by the intensity of your smile.

some people liken him to the sun. others, with his freckles, compare him to the stars. both, though, felix thinks are more proper descriptors for you and your lovely grin that’s as bright as the sun and the stars combined.

“felix!” you stand as he comes closer, handing him the roses. he passes over the box of brownies and you screech in delight, taking off the lid and popping one of them into your mouth. “oh my god, it’s so good.”

“don’t talk with your mouth full,” felix scolds, smiling anyway. “do you only love me for my brownies?”

“maybe” is the cheeky reply. you laugh as felix reels in mock astonishment, placing a dramatic hand to his chest. “i’ve been betrayed,” he wheezes. “stabbed in the back by my one true love who turned traitor to our romance, how will i live -”

“hey, felix?”

he looks up. “hm?”

your eyes sparkle. “shut up and kiss me.”

your lips taste like chocolate, sweeter even than the brownie you just finished. felix puts his arms around you, rose petals brushing against your back as he holds you close, close, closer -

“oh my god.”

a familiar voice makes felix pull away from your lips as he turns around. “jeongin?”

“nope, nope, nope,” the younger boy chants, eyes fully closed. “i saw none of that, jesus christ, come on, let’s go -”

too late, felix notices the person standing next to his friend, eyes also screwed shut. a smirk rises on his face. that must be jeongin’s crush, he thinks as they race away, the crush he’s been sweating over asking out for the last few weeks.

“aw, man.” felix frowns, suddenly coming to a realization. “jeongin probably wanted to confess here.”

“he’ll do fine,” you laugh, tugging at his arm. “now get back here. we’re not finished.”

felix smiles, pulling you close once more. “no, we aren’t.”

6. “no one’s ever given me something like this before.”

listen. jeongin did not need to see felix making out with his partner right before he was about to confess. not only did it completely ruin his plans to talk to you in the prettiest part of campus, but he also has an image seared into his mind that he really does not need.

“sorry,” he mutters, still unable to look at you.

“it’s fine.” jeongin can hear the second hand embarrassment in your voice. “it wasn’t your fault. uh.” you pause. “you said... you wanted to tell me something?”

right. jeongin squeezes his eyes shut, desperately trying to erase the previous images from his brain. “yeah. i did. um.” he swallows, then forces himself to look into eyes that sparkle in the fading sunlight, eyes that he fell in love with so many months ago when you two first worked on that project together.

thankfully, his words don’t fail him. “i just wanted to say i like you a lot, y/n.” jeongin keeps looking at you, even though all he wants to do is run away screaming. “as in... i want to ask you out. if that’s okay with you.”

silence.

then you start giggling.

jeongin frowns. why -

“oh my god, jeongin.” you double over on the bench, laughing even harder. “i’m so sorry.”

his heart sinks as embarrassment begins to burn his ears. “if you don’t like me -”

“no, no!” you straighten, wiping your eyes. “no, it’s not about that. it’s just -” you snort - “oh my god, you wanted to ask me out in the garden, right? but felix was there, and... jesus christ. jeongin, i’m so sorry.”

his cheeks flare red, but he also lets out a major sigh of relief that your laughter wasn’t a rejection. “yeah,” he says, a grudging smile climbing onto his face. “yeah, that’s pretty much what happened.”

you wipe your eyes again. “sorry for laughing. i didn’t mean to make fun of you or anything. i’d actually love to go out with you.” you smile. “really.”

“well, thank god for that.” jeongin huffs, cheeks still hot. “or i would’ve gotten this for nothing.” he holds out a small teddy bear. “this is for you.”

“oh.” you take it, eyes turning soft. “oh. no one...” you swallow. “no one’s ever given me something like this before.”

jeongin’s heart melts, it really does, seeing the slow, shy smile spread across your face as you hold the bear close. “thank you, jeongin.”

“you’re welcome,” he breathes, hardly able to find his words as the sun creates a stunning backdrop behind you as it begins to set. “happy valentine’s day, y/n.”

you smile wide, so wide. “happy valentine’s day, jeongin.”

153 notes · View notes

realcube · 4 years ago

Text

karasuno boys spending christmas with you 🎄

;tw// christmas (?), santa ig, extreme fluff, shoplifting, underage drinking, violence, ennoshita, kinoshita and narita exclusion 😞

(a/n): ik the gif isn’t hq but look how cute it is (○｀ 3′○). also i’m aware that i wrote a rather western-washed version of Christmas (despite the characters in question not being western) but as someone of an asian ethnicity, imo western traditions surrounding Christmas are a lot more..festive (?) which i hope that isn’t offensive considering that Christmas was popularised by the west. so, in short, sorry the traditions aren’t those that are celebrated in japan (or asia) but i just found it i had a lot more inspiration to write it this way. :) perhaps i’ll make a part 2 with aoba johsai or nekoma celebrating Christmas with japanese traditions

Shōyō Hinata

you spend christmas at his house bc he wants to be with his sister on the day

and any sibling that you live with, he insists that they stay over too

but if you don’t have any younger siblings then y’all just spend the whole day spoiling natsu

hinata absolutely adores how well you get on with his sister, it just makes him so happy seeing his two favourite people having fun together

although, it did make him a bitter when he asked natsu if she likes the doll he bought her and she said,

“Yeah, thank you. But look at the Furby (L/N) got me! It’s pink and so fluffy, feel it! And it talks, it’s eyes move and-” Then she continues to rave on about how amazing your gift was.

honestly, y’all spend the whole day pampering natsu; making sure she has the best christmas possible

y’all made gingerbread cookies with her, helped her built a snowman (or rather, a snowwoman because she insisted that it was a lady), snowangels, opening presents, christmas crackers, watching movies - the whole shabang.

probably the only time in the day were she was sad was at 10PM when hinata insisted that she goes to bed

natsu looked at you to back her up in her argument that she should be allowed to stay up late on christmas but you kinda just stood there like 🧍‍♀️/🧍‍♂️

not wanting to get involved in their family drama (unproblematic liege 😍😩)

eventually though, natsu did go to bed and as soon as she was sound asleep, you and hinata spent the night cuddling while watching more christmas movies as you were both too tired to do anything else

you ended up falling asleep in his arms and it was a christmas miracle that his arm didn’t get pins and needles like it usually did while cuddling for a long period of time

Tobio Kageyama

i’m a firm believer that he doesn’t celebrate christmas

not that he doesn’t like the concept, it’s just doesn’t understand the hype

plus - other than going to nationals - there isn’t much he wants and from what he knows, santa can’t make that happen

but as soon as you come over to his house on christmas day with a tub filled with cookies shaped and decorated like volleyballs, suddenly christmas is his favourite holiday

he invites you inside to eat the cookies with him and you notice that he’s watching a volleyball match on the TV

you giggle at how passionate he is about about the sport and offer to cast a Christmas movie from your phone onto the TV

he says yes since this is probably the 10th time he’s rewatched the same match

you scroll through the list of christmas movies available on Netflix, “Wanna watch Arthur Christmas?”

“No.”

“How about the Grinch?”

“Eh, no.”

“Ooh! What about the Nativity? I love that movie-”

“No thanks.”

So you ended up watching Frozen and Frozen 2 (on a different streaming site) because Kageyama didn’t like any of the Christmas movies available on Netflix

You figured that Frozen kinda counted as a Christmas movie because..there was snow :)

anyway, you already knew Kageyama tolerated Disney Movies so Frozen was your best bet

and as it turns out, he was oddly engaged by the movie which gave you an opening to slip into his arms, stifling an evil snicker the whole time

as we all know, when Kageyama is into something he is into it.

so whenever the climax of the movie comes up (or any part with high suspense) you feel him squeeze you slightly and tense up

AND IT IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING PERIODT 🥺😩

so yeah your christmas with him is not overly Praise The Lord but it very fun and cute since it mostly consists of Disney movies

(also Barbie: A Christmas Carol because it gave you both overwhelming nostalgia since he has a big sister who i now headcanon to be a barbie movie addict ✋)

Kei Tsukishima

the biggest grinch™

mostly bc every year he drops hints to both his mum and brother that he wants new headphones but every year he still gets a snowglobe from his mum and something dinosaur related from his brother

even though his brother is aware that he is ‘too old for that shit’ now

but Akiteru just loves seeing his brother’s pissed off face whenever he opens his gift (which is a similar size to a headphones box) to find something like a Jurassic Park Lego set

anyway, backstory over - in short, Tsukishima very much dislikes Christmas

So when you appear at his door with a gift, he slams the door closed

“Tsukishima!” You roar as that was quite rude - even for Tsukishima - since it was snowing and you were clearly freezing, “Let me in! I’m freezing my tits off out here!”

Eventually, he did let you in and gave you a hot chocolate as an apology but as soon as you tried to hand him the give, he refused to take it

“No.”

“Why not?” You whined, clearly upset that he wouldn’t take the gift you went through so much effort to get your hands on.

“Because I didn’t get you anything.”

You rolled your eyes, “You got me this hot chocolate - now, take it. It’s seriously not much.”

Upon eyeing the wrapped box in your hand, he realised it was about 9x9″ - the same size as the tub you usually deliver food in, meaning that the gift was probably some sweet treats

“Alright.” He sighed, accepting he gift as he figured that he could easily pay you back by making Christmas cookies with you or something

He hummed, delicately unwrapping the gift and his heart skipped a beat as he noticed the present inside was in a black box rather than a clear tub which you normally gave homemade treats in

nevertheless, he persevered in unwrapping the box

when he finally finished, his heart dropped yet he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with joy

“Wireless headphones.” He muttered to himself, doing everything in his power to resist the smile tugging on the corner of his lips but it was challenging, to say the least

“Yeah!” You chirped, “Don’t worry about the price though, I got them on a Black Friday sale.” You lied, aware that it was usually considered rude to talk about the price of a gift you’ve given but knowing if you didn’t say anything, Tsukishima would assume you paid full price (which you did smh) and immediately empty his bank account in order to pay you back

You could almost envision the situation already; “Would you like it in cash or cheque?”

“Neither, Kei!”

“You seriously got me branded headphones?” Non-imaginary Tsukishima asked, unable to pry his eyes off the long-awaited gift in his hands

“Y-Yeah.” You stuttered at his unusually sinister voice. “I wanted to buy you noise-cancelling headphones and Google said these were the best ones available that weren’t selling for millions of y--”

“I love you.”

You did a double-take, “Huh?”

“I love you.”

You did a..triple-take.. “I-I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I’m not saying it again, dumbass.”

now, tsukishima wasn’t a very affectionate person but considering you paid full price for headphones (yes, he knows. you’re not a very good liar 😐) for him, the least you deserved was forehead kisses

plus, he was determined to make you as happy as you made him that day

so can get all the kisses you want, all the hugs, all the cuddles, all the smiles, all the cookies- everything!

but that’s not to say that he’s not going to get you anything in return as subtly through the day he was gathering info on what to get you

by the end of it, he had a whole list but unfortunately - after looking at his bank account - he realised that the only thing he could afford was an easy-bake oven (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Tadashi Yamaguchi

y’all spent Christmas at your house because Yamaguchi was absolutely entranced by your massive Christmas tree

he also slept over because you both wanted experience the Christmas morning buzz together

also because your parents were working on Christmas day and Yamaguchi didn’t want you to be alone 🥺

(he didn’t tell you that though as he didn’t want you to think that he felt bad for you or anything)

after you both completed you morning routines, you raced downstairs (quite literally raced; you won.) to open the presents

the milk and cookies you both hand left out for ‘Santa’ was gone because your parents chugged the milk and scarfed the cookies before they left for work

“Open the presents I got you first!” You urged Yamaguchi, pointing to the two presents wrapped in Sanrio wrapping paper

Yamaguchi did so; sitting on the floor cross-legged to open the larger, box-shaped gift first

“Candy!” He chirped with a smile, gently shifting through the selection of sweets you got him, his grin stretching as he did so and once he was finished, it was beaming ear-to-ear. “You know me so well, thank you so much, (L/N).”

You giggled, a light blush crossing your features at the praise - then motioning to the second, smaller, thinner gift.

Yamaguchi accidently tore the wrapping paper off to reveal basic, charcoal face masks.

You quickly interjected to explain, “You said that you were embarrassed about how the animal-themed face masks your mum bought you were too childish and that they just made your skin more oily so bought you those; less embarrassing and supposedly good for oily skin.”

Yamaguchi’s heart fluttered upon hearing how much attention you paid during his random rants, “Thank you, babe!” He enthused, hugging the mask to his chest.

After that, you opened the gift he bought you and were over the moon when you realised that it was a box full of adorable stationary

“I noticed how you kept complaining about your pens running out of ink during class and..yeah..I hope you like it..”

You obviously loved it and expressed that by giving him a big bear hug and many kisses (づ￣ 3￣)づ (*≧︶≦))

By then, it was around Midday so you had time to play in the snow for a bit before Yamaguchi had to go home to spend the rest of Christmas with his family

but of course he came back on Boxing Day to binge watch movies and cuddle with you 🥰

Daichi Sawamura

okay; I am going to say this and you aren’t going to argue with me bc I know that I’m right:

if you have any younger siblings or cousins staying in your house for Christmas (and I mean younger like 5 or less) and the kid isn’t a little shit

daichi (with your assistance) will dress up as Santa and you will dress up as an elf to surprise the child with a visit

daichi would be like ‘ho ho ho!’ and you’d be like ‘shut up, santa, you fatass.’

and the kid would be like ✪ ω ✪

y’all would take pictures and shit before santa dips 🚶‍♂️🛷

after that, you both would head back to his place to celebrate a kid-free christmas

you don’t open gifts because you both mutually agreed not to get anything for each other this year since you had ‘grown out of presents’ (tsk).

but you did get a RingFit Adventure from one for your relatives for Christmas so you and Daichi spend an hour or two playing that

it’s surprisingly taxing though so you’re both puffed afterwards

so you decided to make spaghetti for yourself and Daichi and a Christmas miracle occurred..he got off of his ass to help you cook 🤩

usually he’d hide his fear off fucking up under toxic masculinity but today he actually let you teach him how to make food and he was a natural chef tbh

however, his habit of grabbing your ass or holding your lower back wasn’t especially helpful while he had tomato sauce all over his hands

you changed into a different pair of bottoms as the spaghetti cooled down

then, a second Christmas miracle occurred

Daichi gave you both permission to eat in the living room, on the couch, so y’all could watch a movie or something as you ate

every other day of the year, daichi would have to be killed before he let anybody eat in the living room - forget on his new couch

but today was a special so he let it slide

originally, the plan was to watch a Christmas movie but then you noticed that a new episode of y’alls favourite show was out - House Hunters - so you just watched that instead

hey, it made you both happy so why not?

especially with daichi’s running commentary which you outwardly expressed annoyance to but internally loved

“Andromeda will never be Suzanne, rest easy.”

“That house is so ugly, next.”

“Why’s their budget so low? May as well just buy a caravan.”

“They are so fucking picky.”

“Her face annoys me.”

IT LIKE HIS ALTER-EGO IT’S AMAZING

anyway, merry christmas to the daichi stans and that is from me, not daichi - he actually forgot it was Christmas at noon

Kōshi Sugawara

SUGA IS DOMESTIC LIKE DAICHI BUT MAKE IT ❄ FESTIVE❄

y’all bake christmas cookies together, exchanges small gifts, bake carrot cake, watch The Polar Express, bake pudding, kiss under the mistletoe, bake-- yeah, there was a lot of baking

get ready to work out twice as much and start dieting if you don’t want to develop an illness due to the amount of sugar you consumed

to be honest, Suga was kinda lost for things to do on the actual day of Christmas bc y’all were so hyped preparing for it so he had no idea how to top that

I mean, you both went on romantic, late night car drives to buy a tree

cute couple trips to the store to purchase decorations

planning out and putting the decorations around the house (and with both of your keen eyes for design, the house ends up looking gorgeous ofc)

you ornamented the tree in his living room but it was so tall that he couldn’t reach the very tip to put the final decoration on top

so you hopped onto his shoulders and stuck the star on top with a smile

but he wasn’t done with you yet, he rushed around the house with you on his shoulders while you clung onto his hair as if your life depended on it

he did most of the festivities with you before Christmas but he saved one special one for the day

“(Y/N), let’s bake something.”

You sighed, shooting him a weary smile, “Suga, we’ve been baking all day.”

“Just one last thing! It’s not even baking actually, more like assembling.”

You quirked an eyebrow at his statement, “Hm? What is it?”

“Let’s make our dream houses with gingerbread!”

Of course you agreed. Not just because he is the cutest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on but also since it sounded rather fun

“What are those?” You pointed to the weird rectangular designs on the roof of his house

“Solar panels.” He hummed, elegantly icing the sides of his house, “I want my future house run on that energy.”

“Anyway, what’ve you got on your house?” Finishing off the final swirl on his door, he turned to look at your gingerbread home and deadpanned

A sheepish grin formed on your lips as you noticed his blank expression towards your ‘dream home’ which has walls garnished with golden, edible glitter and sugar paper sanrio characters on the roof along with many other extremely unconventional things

“Hey,” you shrugged, “Let me have my dreams.”

“Of course,” Suga agreed, his usual sweet smile returning, “Although, in an ideal world, I thought we’d end up living together and starting a family. However, I don’t think we can do that if you planning on putting a horse head on our front door.”

“IT WAS JUST LYING THERE, KŌSHI! IF ANYTHING IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR GIVING ME ACCESS TO A MARZIPAN HORSE!”

“I DIDN’T THINK THAT YOU’D DECAPITATE IT, (Y/N)! I THOUGHT YOU’D USE IT FOR A STABLE OR FARM OR SOMETHING!”

“YOU SHOULD KNOW ME BETTER THAN THAT!”

Asahi Azumane

you both spent christmas day in your respective households, promising each other that you’d spend boxing day together

until around 7PM when you had to come over to his house bc he called you, extremely puzzled at the fact that random mutuals from school (and the whole volleyball team) were on his instagram page, facebook, snapchat and any/every other social media platform wishing him a happy birthday

“I don’t get it.” He spoke through the phone, confusion and anxiety apparent in his voice, “My birthday isn’t for another six days. Why do they think it is today? Is this a joke?”

“Uh, can I come over? I’d love to see you.”

“Um, sure.” He replied, even more confused that you didn’t answer his question and instead asking one yourself

you spent the rest of the day with him, trying your very best to distract him from social media by doing various activities

you both baked, watched movies, played board games (he’s a beast at battleships) then you moved on to other games like charades - basically every bs excuse you could come up with to get him to stay away from his phone

but that’s not to say you didn’t enjoy every second of it bc you did

he is so cute like whenever you are doing an action which he can’t interpret, his automatic guess is ‘are my beautiful gf (Y/N) (L/N) who i love very much? (= ❛ ᴗ ❛=)’

PRECIOUS 💓

and then you are just like, ‘yes, i am, baby. but i am also optimum prime. your turn.’

anyway, by the end of the day there was no way you were able to prevent him from finding out about the joke now

so you just decided to tell him - figuring that it’d be better for him to hear it from you rather than someone else

“See.. y’know how jesus was allegedly born on christmas day? well, the joke is that..you kinda look like what people assume jesus would’ve looked like..”

Asahi had to do a double-take at what you just said, “Th-they..think I look like jesus?”

“yeah.”

Ryūnosuke Tanaka

you’re both broke af so you spend Christmas day pretending you are a rich couple

you slept over at his house too so you could start early in the morning and by that I mean 10:30AM

firstly, you and tanaka flick through an Argos catalogue (which you found on the ground, so there were a few mud stains on it 😶) to select the gift(s) you were going to buy for your ‘children’

but really it was just you and him going through it and circling all the toys y’all wanted as kids but couldn’t afford/didn’t get

“I super badly wanted one of those kiddie monster trucks that you could control with a remote as a child so my son is going to need one of those.” Tanaka said, circling the monster truck with a marker

“Yes, of course. And I asked for Monster High dolls every year as a kid but my parents said they were everything god hates so let’s buy that because we stan satan in this house, apparently .”

“Of course, of course.” He said in his best ‘rich person’ voice which was actually just an english accent

After resenting your parents for around an hour, you both moved onto the next activity of your rich person Christmas which included reading your horoscope in an english accent

that only lasted a few minutes though because both of you couldn’t be bothered to read

you also planned to look at the stock market (just like all rich people do on christmas day, obvs) but it was so boring

you took a glance then just went ‘okay, bye.’

next, you had caviar - just like rich people eat for every meal of the day, i think.

except it was actually black pop rocks

“ah, yes. scrumptious.” “the flavour is immaculate.”

then, as dawn drew close, you and tanaka preformed your final rich person activity

no, it wasn’t being rude to minimum wage workers

no, it wasn’t being ungrateful

no, it wasn’t exploiting the working class under capitalism

no, it wasn’t being generally stuck-up and cocky

instead, it was going to the grocery shop and buying everything rather than shoplifting :)

“what should we get, babe?” you asked tanaka, in awe at how many different brands of toilet paper were on the shelves. “Have you ever noticed how spoiled we are for choice when it comes to toilet paper?”

“uh, no.” he replied in reference to the toilet paper question, “Hm, how about some gingerbread men or something?”

his suggestion was just met by a blank stare and silence

“JUST KIDDING! WE’RE TOTALLY BUYING BOOZE!”

“Hell yeah!”

luckily, because tanaka looked a lot older than 17 and also since the cashier was too tired to check his ID, you both managed to buy the drinks without getting caught

“Merry Christmas, Ryū.” You hummed, fidgeting with his hand which was interlocked with yours as you walked through a rather prestigious neighbourhood and admired all the extravagant christmas lights

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N). Love you.”

Yū Nishinoya

you and noya spent the whole day in his backyard and since it was a white christmas, you were able to spend the 90% playing in the snow

at first, you both went outside with the intention of making snowangels and taking cute couple photos in the snow

but the weather was just so inviting that you had to stay for a little longer even when you did finish taking pictures; so you made the ‘ultimate’ snowman

by that, it was just the biggest snowman y’all could make without it falling apart with stones for eyes, spiking out twigs for hair and an empty Monster Energy can for a nose

once you had completed the snowman and basked in it’s glory for a moment, you went to head inside - but then you felt something hit your back

you turned around to see noya snickering, a mischievous grin on his face which you couldn’t stand

so what started out as him playfully throwing a snowball at your back, eventually turned into a full-on snowball battle to the death

there were snow forts, piles of snow ammunition, mini snow-warriors guarding the edges of your fort, a snow-princess which you were trying to steal from each other’s fort to win (basically like capture the flag but colder..) and a few brunch bars in the middle of the battle field for snack breaks

it was all going smoothly until Noya ran up to your base, obviously with the intention to steal your princess

“stay away from her, you fiend!” You yelled, jumping into an offensive stance - your neighbours must hate you bc of all the noise you and Noya made.

Noya screaming his battle cry as he rushed towards your fort, batista bombing you to the ground before you had a chance to attack him with a snowball

now that you were out of the equation, he scurried over to your princess which was perches on a little snow podium you made for her

he grabbed it, lifting it above his head like a trophy and letting out a loud victory cry “I win!”

he then turned to you and laughed upon noticing that you had your face buried into the snow in shame, “You have been defeated, (L/N)! And the great Rolling Thunder prospers!”

“That’s a stupid nickname.” You groaned, outstretching your arms to allow him to pick you up, “Now take me inside, I’m tired.”

“Alright, babe.” He spoke softly, seemingly coming down from his adrenaline high.

He strolled towards you, scooping you up into his arms - off the snow - and carrying you inside

unbeknownst to him, you had fallen asleep as he held you and once he put you down on the couch and noticed- i- my man almost died of happiness

“Oh my god, (Y/N)! You’re so fucking cute! (❤´艸｀❤)” he hollered, peppering your face in kisses

“Shhh..” you hushed Noya, sticking your bottom lip out to form a pout

Noya nodded understandingly before hopping onto the couch beside you and snuggling up

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samwrights · 5 years ago

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Pining After You [hc]

Just some Haikyuu!! head cannons about my favorites pining after the object of their affection—you. I’m gonna limit myself to only one Seijoh 3rd year >_> instead, I’m just gonna make Makki’s super long bc love.

I might turn these into one shots. I’m planning a special series to be released for the entire month of May—let me know what you guys think!

Hanamaki;

Ya know, with my last head cannon, I had such a hard time writing for Makki and now that’s all I wanna do.

Cause THIS BOI is too easy-going, too cool, to ever be blunt and up front about his feelings for you. He can’t ruin his image by stumbling over a confession.

Definitely has been in love with you since your guys’ first year—all thanks to your laugh.

Every time he hears you, even if said laugh is occasionally broken with a gentle, genuine snort, Makki feels every single electrical pulse being sent into his nerve endings.

It was a huge part of the reason that he had started owning the class clown trope, cracking jokes with his peers and even the teachers even though that definitely was not kosher. But his almost dry, sarcastic sense of humor always seemed to be rewarded with the angelic gift that was your laughter.

But he doesn’t know how to talk to you. At all.

He tries really hard not to stare at you, or at least tries not to make it super obvious and fails considering you sit on the opposite ends of the classroom

Makki always has lunch in Mattun’s classroom just so he can freely talk about something you did in class that made him laugh or smile, even if it was something stupid like you dropped your pencil or you raised your hand to answer a question.

In your third year, Mattsun is tIRED of it all.

“Just go fucking confess your feelings, I swear to gOD, or I’ll tell her.”

“Dude no, I can’t she’s way outta my league.”

Did I mention Mattsun is over it? So over it that one day, instead of waiting for his best friend to come to his classroom for lunch, he decides to pay yours a visit.

Makki’s freaking out because the fCK was Mattsun walking over to your desk?!

“She’s coming to our tournament this weekend, so bring your A game.” Was all he said before leaving the poor wing spiker to drown in the blood rising up his neck.

You weren’t friends with anyone on the VBC, but you did actually end up at the tournament with a few friends.

Exhilarating was the only way to describe it, up until Seijoh’s loss to Karasuno.

After the team thanked the spectators for watching, you noticed all the third years crying, signifying the end of their careers.

“Thank you for inviting me to watch, Matsukawa. It was really fun.” You said politely, approaching them afterwards.

Mattsun shoves his best friend towards you, “actually, he wanted to invite you. He just didn’t know how.”

Makki.exe has stopped working. He’s too busy spluttering because he literally has no idea what to say to you now. Cool boy? Not even close.

“I’ve actually wanted to come to one of your matches for awhile. I just thought it was weird because I’m not friends with any of you.”

Oh. O H.

“Y-you could’ve asked me...”

“I was hoping you’d ask me. Why do you think I always laugh at your jokes, Hanamaki?”

“Wait, does that mean you don’t think I’m actually funny?” 💀💀💀 Rip.

“I do. You’re funny, talented, handsome, and I’ve liked you since first year.”

Makki.exe has stopped working.

Akaashi;

Akaashi has studied everything he could about you without ever having actually interacted with you.

He knew you were in Bokuto’s class, he knew your name, and that the two of you interacted often, but never outside of the classroom.

He knew that you always carried your school bag over your left shoulder, and tucked your hair behind your right ear when you felt it was in your face.

Your energy somehow matched his best friend’s while simultaneously calming the owl captain like a gentle wave. You reminded Akaashi of the sun rising over the ocean.

Bokuto, oblivious to nearly everything, never realized that his best friend’s calculations went beyond analyzing the ace. One small section of his brain was dedicated to your ass.

Really, there wasn’t anything extraordinary about you, or at least that’s how you felt about yourself. But every time Akaashi swung by Bokuto’s class to walk with him to practice, his eyes were immediately drawn to you for .067 seconds before he’d look away, so as not to make you feel uncomfortable.

Once in a while, Bokuto would let small details about you slip, like how you were in the art club and that you had a showcase coming up displaying the portfolio you had built over the last three years.

He definitely didn’t ditch practice to be there for your showcase.

Showing up to the venue where the showcase was being held, he suddenly felt very under dressed seeing other third years and teachers adorning formal attire while he showed up in black jeans and a grey button up.

Wandering around the venue, Akaashi looked for you or your artwork, his breath held in his lungs when he saw the arsenal of works displayed on large black boards with your name written elegantly at the very top. Made with various mediums, he was stunned by different paintings and drawings of surreal, exquisite landscapes that could not possibly exist.

Then again, he didn’t think you were real either.

One particular painting invoked a strange emotion in him—a large, desecrated shipwreck amongst of field of bright flowers with the sun setting in the back. Titled “Crack The Sky”, the piece emanated joy and grief in one. It was almost as stunning as you were.

“This one’s my favorite.” You announced sheepishly from beside him and he realized he had never heard your voice before. The setter turned to look at you, drinking in your appearance up close for the first time. “You’re Bokuto’s friend, aren’t you? Akaashi?”

He was kinda hurt to hear you mention Bokuto for reasons unknown to himself jealous much?

“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you.” He bows slightly, remember that no matter how infatuated he was with you, you were still his senpai.

He began walking with you as you explained the creation process of your different pieces. Not that he was actually paying attention, though he’d never admit that. He just liked hearing you talk and he would definitely never admit that.

You excuse yourself as your phone rings, though you don’t walk away, allowing him to hear your end of the conversation. “Yep, he’s here. I owe you dinner. You wanna talk to him?” Akaashi cocks a brow in your direction, staring at your cellphone that you’ve now held over to him. Bokuto’s name flashed on the screen.

“Uh, hi?” The setter asked, confused.

“I made a bet with her that you would ditch practice to go to her showcase because yOu LoVe HeR.”

Aight, imma head out.

Before he could run away out of embarrassment, you grabbed his wrist though you were still on the phone with Bokuto.

“Would you like to join us for dinner? Seems kinda unfair for him to get dinner when you’re the one who made the effort to be here.”

Akaashi graciously accepts to which you respond by telling Bokuto where you would meet him for the evening.

“So you love me, huh?” 💀💀💀 If Akaashi could magically disappear, he would. Or even better, if his blush ran hot enough to melt the skin off his face, that’d be great too.

But you never let go of his wrist until now, opting to wrap an arm around his instead.

“I like you too. Why do you think Bokuto and I made a bet about you coming here, silly?”

Kenma;

Poor Kenma. The worst part of his whole situation was actually being friends with you, knowing he would never get to have you.

Why would you want him, anyway? You were more fit for someone like Kuroo—someone who was as boisterous and confident as you were. He anticipated the day you two announced your relationship and left him behind in your little trio.

Not even Kuroo knew that he was in love with you and maybe that was a mistake on his part but he could never tell his best friend that you were his entire world. It was too embarrassing for him.

It took entirely too much energy to even sort through his feelings alone, how much more exhausting would it be for him to run through every single thing he felt about you to someone else?

Like the way you would nearly skip out your home every morning when the boys came to fetch you to walk to school together.

Or the way you unabashedly asked almost too personal of questions, or questions that were just soooo left field of you were friends with a person. “Hey Kuroo, how many brushes do you think you would break if you finally decided to brush your hair after 17 years?” Was one of Kenma’s favorites.

The way you sing along to every song that plays on your iPod or even the radio, even if you didn’t know the song, you would try to sing along anyway.

Some days, Kenma would look out the window and see you practicing some form of a dance routine in your backyard. He would watch you for hours until you went inside, suddenly feeling shame for being so creepy.

Nearly every night, Kenma just wished he could turn his feelings off while simultaneously wishing you were next to him so he could hold you while he slept.

Your smile was his favorite. Seeing you smile every morning as the three of you walked to school together was what got him through his day. “Hey, hey are you guys coming to my dance competition tomorrow?” You asked in your typical, jovial lilt.

“Of course.” Was all he was able to reply, while Kuroo enthusiastically responded about their attendance.

“Great! I can’t wait to see you guys in the crowd!”

The “C” word, was almost enough to make Kenna regret his decision to come. Even more so when he was surrounded by the masses, all waiting to watch their respective dance teams. But it was for you, and he would do anything for you.

Kuroo was right beside him, a small bouquet of roses in his hand to give to you after you competed. The blood red flowers made Kenna glower and glare in secret, or as secretive as he could be. “I got these for you.” The captain says quietly, handing them over to his best friend.

“Sorry, Kuroo, I can’t say I return your feelings—“

“For you to give to her, you idiot.” 🤡🤡🤡 “I’m not that dumb, Kenma.” The setter really wanted to argue and say that he was, but your school’s dance team was up to perform so he opted to stay quiet.

Have I mentioned that Kenma loves watching you dance? There was a reason he would watch you practice in your backyard. You moved with elegance and grace that was foreign and so opposite to his own demeanor, it was no wonder he was always so captivated by you.

After you compete, there’s a bit of downtime between the other competitors and the awards ceremony, giving you the chance to hang out with your besties.

“These are for you.” The second year says quietly, handing you the bouquet with a blush dusting over his cheeks. The red rivaled that of the roses.

“Aw, thank you, Kenma!” You squeaked out before giving him a kiss on the cheek, his skin burning even hotter. Kuroo’s just over there laughing but ya know.

During the awards ceremony, you’re sitting in a circle with your team not too far from your friends while they announced that Nekoma had taken first. Everyone in the dance troupe began screaming and hugging each other, while you ran straight to your boys.

While still jumping, you were hugging Kuroo so tight, arms squeezing around his neck while sharing the joy. Which made Kenma just a little bit jealous.

Just a little.

Until you’ve settled down from your jumping before wrapping your arms his neck as well. But rather than going for a hug—

Wait what is hAPOENING

You brought your lips to his briefly before burying your face into his neck out of embarrassment because wHY you had thought that was a good idea was beyond you.

Deciding you couldn’t just keep holding onto him, because he was probably embarrassed too, you stepped away, ready to run back to your team. But Kenma didn’t let go, his arms seated securely at your hips as he stared at you.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I don’t know w-w—“

“I love you.”

Wanna see a specific character? Or a different head cannon? Want to see a whole story?

Send in requests!

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bnha-imagines-all-around · 5 years ago

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Jealous (Mirio Togata Headcanons)

Request: “Hi! I loved “Please Don’t leave me” with Togata, legit made me cryyy! Can I request angsty headcanons with Togata?? Best friend secretly loves him but gets distant, cold and jealous bc girls flirt with him? Togata notices and feels hurt and confused and tries to talk to her but she avoids him till he physically stops her and breaks down cause he’s afraid of losing her cause he also loves her? You can pick the ending (fluff, angst, both, anything is good)! Thanks!”

Author’s note: YAY MORE SUNSHINE BOI!!! These turned out way longer than I anticipated (my bad) and probably read more like an imagine than headcanons (again my bad), but hope it’s okay! Also, my request box is OPEN, so please send in all the requests! :D

Warnings: Angst, some fluff

- You couldn’t help but notice how girls tried to talk to Mirio all the time, to the point where you and him were never alone together anymore.

- You would literally just be getting to a moment where it was just you and him, alone, when a group of girls would seemingly magically appear, giggling and flirting with Mirio right in front of you. They acted as though you were a ghost, as though you weren’t actually there with them. You were insignificant to them because Mirio was there.

- You began to feel your blood boiling and your heart pounding almost viciously in your chest as you watched the girls fawn over your best friend. They would bat their eyes at him, smile wide and laugh at every joke he made, twirl their hair, lean slightly too close to him, rest their hands on his arms or chest. And the worst part? He seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

- “Mirio? Hey, are we still going to that cafe you spoke about? Cause my lunch break is almost over,” You called out just a bit too loudly, trying to regain your best friend’s attention.

- However, Mirio simply waved his hand at you and payed you just enough attention to smile sheepishly, “Sorry, (Y/N)! Maybe another time. Guess I got too caught up chatting!”

- This went on for days; you trying to hang out with Mirio and your plans being blown off because of random girls.

- Eventually it became a week, and then another. Mirio was your best friend, and yet, he had barely said so much as “hello” to you in the past few weeks. He always seemed caught up by some group of air-headed, flirty girls and you had seemed to fade out of existence to him.

- Your heart was breaking a little more with every passing day. You loved Mirio, more than just a friend, and yet it seemed as though you weren’t even that to him anymore. You had truly become a ghost, invisible to him.

- The jealousy you felt every day from seeing the same scene play over and over again, paired with the loss of your best friend and the boy you loved, was starting to tear you apart.

- You started to spend less and less time with Mirio, leaving sooner and sooner each time the other girls came up and began to flirt with him. Mirio was a gentleman, you knew that, so he’d dedicate his full attention to them as they spoke to him. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

- It eventually got to the point where you didn’t even bother making an attempt to be around Mirio. You just couldn’t do it anymore, it hurt too much.

- It even progressed to you actively avoiding Mirio at every turn; if you saw him coming towards you, you would either turn and walk in a different direction, or just walk straight past him without acknowledging that you had even seen him. Not that Mirio noticed, anyways.

- The pain and heartbreak you felt each day began to affect you more profoundly than ever before. You no longer ate properly, only picking at whatever was on the plate in front of you, you barely slept anymore, and most of all, you withdrew into yourself more than ever.

- Your appearance changed drastically; you suddenly looked worn down and exhausted, and despite hearing other students whispering about it in the hallways, you couldn’t really care less about it anymore.

- Nejire and Tamaki would also notice the drastic changes almost immediately, pulling you aside to speak to you one day.

- “(Y/N)-chan! What’s going on? You look super exhausted, are you sleeping at all? You don’t talk to us anymore, did something happen? Did we do something?”

- Nejire asked you a billion questions in quick succession, but all you could do was shake your head in reply. You had no energy to give her a proper answer.

- “(L/N)... what happened? We wanna help you... we’re your friends,” Tamaki asked quietly, but again, you just shook your head and vaguely mumbled something about you ‘being fine’.

- “Don’t lie to us, (Y/N)-chan, we can see that something’s wrong. Maybe I should get Mirio! He was always good at cheering you up!” Nejire suggested.

- the coldness and harshness of the look you suddenly sent her took both her and Tamaki aback. You always went to Mirio if you were upset; what had changed?

- Then, for the first time in days, you spoke.

- “I want nothing to do with Togata. I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to be around him, I want nothing to do with him anymore. Understood?”

- Nejire and Tamaki both stood there, absolutely stunned by the coldness and resolution in your voice as you swiftly spun on your heel and walked away. You hadn’t referred to Mirio by his last name in years. This was bad.

- Of course, what you didn’t realize was that Mirio DID notice you. He noticed everything about you; your change in demeanour, your change in appearance your absence, everything.

- It took him a little while, but Mirio did notice that you weren’t ever around him anymore. What’s more, you never even made the effort to come talk to him or be with him anymore, and it broke his heart.

- Mirio was constantly brushing off the girls who came to speak and flirt with him as he tried to find you and talk to you, but to no success.

- When Mirio caught glimpses of you in the hallways and over lunch breaks, he saw how run-down you looked, and he quickly began to feel your loss.

- While the attention the girls gave him was nice, it often proved more annoying than anything and, well, Mirio being Mirio, he was just trying to be polite. He wasn’t interested in any of them because he had you. You were his best friend, his partner, and his number one person to turn to whenever he wanted to talk about anything. You were his (Y/N).

- Or rather, he’d hoped you’d be his (Y/N) one day. Mirio had been in love with you for a long, LONG time, and you were his favourite person in the whole world, always by his side. And now, suddenly, you weren’t there anymore. It was like there was this huge hole that had been punched out in his chest. You weren’t there anymore, but... why?

- It broke his heart even more every time he looked at you; you looked so tired, so sad, so... fragile. Mirio felt heartbroken, confused and scared. What had happened? What had he done to lose you?

- Mirio quickly realized that not only were you not seeking him out anymore, you were actively avoiding him. He couldn’t help but feel a pang in his chest when he saw you turn around and walk in a different direction when you had noticed him coming towards you.

- “(Y/N)! Hey, (Y/N)! Wait up!” Mirio had shouted to you one day, but as you always did, you quickly turned around, ignored him and walked away even faster, eventually losing him in a crowd of students returning to class.

- Mirio was beginning to feel hopeless and panicked; he needed to do something. He needed to speak to you, no matter the cost, to make things right. He had to fix this.

- “Mirio! I don’t know what happened between you and (Y/N)-chan, but you gotta fix it! She said she wants nothing to do with you anymore! She even called you “Togata” when I suggested I get you to cheer her up! I haven’t heard her call you that since before you became friends! You need to fix this!” Nejire would exclaim one day during lunch, and Mirio felt his heart sink to the floor. It reaffirmed what he already knew; this was really, really bad.

- Mirio’s heart would pound violently in his chest as he sprinted through the halls of the school, trying desperately to find you. His mind was racing through a million thoughts per second, but there was one constantly reoccurring thought:

- ‘(Y/N)... where are you? I’m sorry... please, let me fix this!’

- Fate was on his side that day, because Mirio managed to find you curled up tightly in a windowsill in the library, with one of your favorite books in your lap as you gazed out the window.

- “(Y/N)! I found you,” Mirio exclaimed, panting slightly as he approached you.

- His words had startled you out of your revelry, and you quickly turned to see Mirio standing there, looking straight at you with sadness in his eyes.

- You wouldn’t speak a word. The scene of Mirio flirting with countless girls flashed in your mind, and as your heart broke a little more, you would swiftly put your book away and get off the windowsill before heading towards the exit of the library behind Mirio. You couldn’t do this.

- “No, wait! (Y/N), please don’t go!” Mirio shouted, his hand extending to grab your wrist as you passed him.

- His sudden action startled you, and you found yourself frozen on the spot for a moment before you felt a familiar sense of anger rising in you.

- You jerked your wrist out of his grasp before snapping, “Why? I don’t owe you anything, Togata. Don’t you have some girls to flirt with? You’ll be terribly behind schedule if you waste your time talking to somebody like me.”

- Mirio visibly winced at the sound of his last name, but he reached out and grabbed both of your hands this time, not giving up the fight. He couldn’t lose you.

- “Please just, listen to me! Please, (Y/N), p-please...” Mirio’s voice cracked as he begged you to listen, and he felt his eyes sting as tears suddenly pooled in them; he was so, so afraid. He didn’t know what was going to happen, and he didn’t know if he had already lost you, but he had to try.

- “(Y/N)... I don’t know what happened, but I’m sorry if I hurt you, (Y/N). I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you. Please... let me set this right. I can’t... I can’t lose you.”

- You found yourself listening to him, but all the hurt and jealousy and heartbreak from the past weeks suddenly came rushing back as Mirio spoke.

- His voice was quiet, and you could hear it trembling slightly as Mirio tried to keep calm. Your heart lurched in your chest; you had never seen him this way before. He looked so scared.

- Tears suddenly filled your eyes and slid silently down your cheeks, your body shaking with silent sobs as you tried to keep yourself together. Before you knew it, all the words you had wanted to say came spilling out of your mouth.

- “Well, you did hurt me, Mirio! You hurt me, and you hurt me bad! I tried so hard to be around you, to put up with being ignored and shoved aside like I meant nothing to you every single day. Do you know how that feels?! Do you know what it’s like to have the person you’re in love with cast you into the shadows because other girls wanna flirt and giggle with and fawn over him?! Do you know how it feels to watch yourself being replaced?! Because I do! YOU made me go through that, Mirio! For days, weeks!”

- At any other time, you would’ve felt awful for shouting at Mirio the way you were doing now, but there were so many things you needed to say that you couldn’t make yourself stop.

- “Yeah, at first I was just jealous, but it became more than that, Mirio! Seeing that, it was tearing me apart, piece by piece, and I couldn’t do it anymore! I’ve loved you for so long, and I tried so hard but I couldn’t do it anymore!”

- You took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to collect yourself before finishing shakily, “If you’re trying to play the hero now because you feel guilty, you’re too late. I had to save myself because you couldn’t even see me.”

- A heavy silence would fill the air, which would be pierced by a sound you did not expect; a sob. But not one that came from you.

- You would watch as Mirio silently broke down in front of you, tears spilling down his cheeks and you began to cry again too.

- Then, before you had time to register what was happening, you found yourself in Mirio’s embrace. He was hugging you tighter than ever before, and your heart did a funny jolt; you faintly registered that you had admitted to loving him in your speech.

- Mirio would just hold you and hug you tightly until both of you calmed down. Once he was collected enough, he would begin to speak quietly, not letting you go for a moment.

- “I’m sorry I hurt you so badly, (Y/N). I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t mean to. Those girls, they didn’t mean anything. The attention was nice at first, but... it quickly grew to be annoying. I was just trying to be polite. I didn’t realize what it cost me. Please... let me try to make it up to you. Please, (Y/N). I can’t bear to lose you. You’re my best friend and I love you too much to lose you this way. I love you, (Y/N). I do, and I have for so long. Longer than even I know! Please... let me fix this.”

- You would think about his words for a good few moments, but all you could hear was his voice saying those three words over and over; “I love you.” You didn’t realize just how much you had missed Mirio until now; you’d missed his embrace, his voice, his eyes, his smile, his spirit, everything about him. Even just this one moment with him was healing.

- You believed Mirio and what he said, so you made your decision.

- “... Alright. You’ll have a chance to make it up to me. But don’t screw this up. It’s the only chance you’ll get, understood?”

- “Thank you, (Y/N). I won’t screw it up, I promise!” Mirio would pull his head back just enough to smile down at you, to which you returned a small smile. Then, in a moment of courage, Mirio leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your forehead, causing you to blush violently.

- “You know... I meant what I said, (Y/N). I love you. I do,” Mirio whispered, his own cheeks turning bright red.

- “I know. I love you too, but I think we have some work to do first,” you replied, looking up at him.

- “Well... how about that coffee date I promised you?”

- “I though you’d never ask.”

#mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #mirio togata #mirio togata imagine #mirio togata x reader #mirio togata headcanons #lemillion #lemillion x reader #lemillion imagine #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha x reader

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honey-hippie-harper · 4 years ago

Text

through the bleeding shell (Re-upload)

This was @obsidianfr3sk ‘s Feel Better gift asfghadsfghadfsghja. It turned out to be pretty depressing in the end bc idk how to write happy stuff but my good intentions were there, ok?

This is a Humon/Renegays fic :’). Which, basically, is about how the Renegays didn’t kiss during the trilogy...sort of. I can’t think of an specific reason why they didn’t besides bad writing and queerbaiting, but I’ve always seen Hugh as this...detached entity. Idk x’d. He shows a pretty dense attitude. And so, I thought that it was partly the reason why they’re not that affective during the trilogy. Not that they aren’t on a daily basis. I just think their relationship was in a bad place when the events happened, because, among other things, Hugh wasn’t grieving Georgia in a healthy way (I headcanon them as best friends </3) and wouldn’t allow Simon to help him.

idk why I felt the need to talk about that.

tag list (tell me if you want to be in or out): @healing-winston-pratt @obsidianfr3sk @nodrianbcyes @alecjamesartino @everyone-has-a-nightmare @razzmooncake

through the bleeding shell

Being around someone for so long…

It allowed you to know things. Some of them important.

Others, not so much.

Simon had married a person he had been around his entire life; he had slept next to him almost every single day since he was very young. And his name was Hugh Everhart.

Simon knew every spot on Hugh’s body; he knew every mole, every random sun freckle here and there; how his body mass seemed to be well-distributed at plain sight but, in reality, his chest was naturally wider than the rest of his body, as if he had been born with the figure of a baseball player; how he scratched his nose because wrinkling it so much while laughing made it itchy; he knew the way his knuckles turned yellow when he turned them into a fist; he knew there was one single scar below his rib cage area…

He knew everything he had to know about Hugh Everhart, his husband, whom he loved so much that sometimes it hurt.

Yet, Simon was yet to know how and why, lately, he was so cold, despite still being a human furnace who was sometimes annoyed by the blanket on winter nights.

Kasumi frowned, and Simon wished she were misunderstanding, but whatever thing she was thinking, she was probably right.

Cold was a pretty wide term, which could basically mean anything. Being brutally honest, not even he knew what he was trying to convey by using that word, so he supposed he was referring to anything it could express, as a whole.

Thinking about it… yeah.

That option sounded about right.

Another thing that sounded about right, was the idea of Kasumi judging him because of it, which was something Simon knew wasn’t true and, instead, it was just his anxiety trying to ruin his day even more. But sometimes things were like that. He tried to avoid it, but never managed to do such thing. Ever.

“Not to be rude or anything.” She started, but before proceeding she seemed to realize that, maybe, that hadn’t sounded as intended, and her cheeks became extremely flushed, until Kasumi looked like she had ran under the burning sun while wearing a wool sweater for hours. “Really, Si. I don’t mean to be rude. As in...I’m...telling you this...so you think…”

She clicked her tongue, and then both Tamaya, who was also in the room, and him, stared at her as she talked to herself under her breath, making a couple of hand movements, as if she were writing her sentence in the air so she could phrase it correctly.

Sometimes, when Kasumi was nervous, she tended to struggle at putting her ideas together in a gentle, polite manner.

“...I was telling you that, so you don’t think I’m trying to offend you or minimize your pain.” She corrected herself. “Yeah?”

“...Yeah.” Simon nodded.

“Well…” Kasumi rubbed her hands together, more as a distraction than as an actual mannerism. “You know I’ve...never understood. Back at home...when we all lived together and...ugh. You know? Just...don’t mind me. Tam, you tell him.”

“No, no. What you’re saying is important too.”

“I want to listen to you, Zoomie.”

Upon the two pairs of eyes in the room being fixated on her, Kasumi kept fidgeting with the paper cone she now had between her hands, absently.

“Fine.” She whispered in a breathy voice, and then she stared at Simon, who stared back, not because he wanted to be polite or something like that, but because he genuinely wanted to listen to her.

Kasumi wasn’t a talker. That wasn’t an exaggeration or an act of fake modesty. It was just that Kasumi didn’t enjoy a lot of things, and one of them was speaking, to the point where sometimes she didn’t consider it necessary. There were days when she just...didn’t feel like speaking. And she didn’t. Because she didn’t want to. Because she didn’t need to. Because people could understand her anyway.

Still, everyone was willing to listen when she felt there was something she had to explain in a way that was verbal.

“I love my husband very much.” She said, placing a lock of hair behind her ear. “But, still, sex it’s not...a huge part of our relationship because I’ve never understood. When you joked about it back at home, I would just assume you were just doing that. Joking. I...literally didn’t expect you were serious when you talked about experiencing that type of attraction. Because I didn’t. And it’s not that I think it’s repulsive or anything like that. I just don’t get what the fuss is about. When I’m with him...it’s...usually not my first option. To think about that, I mean. And he understands and respects that, which I appreciate a lot.”

The more she spoke, the more confident her tone became. It meant she was growing more comfortable with the conversation, and that her train of thought was getting itself together, nice and slowly.

As for Simon...he was strangely comfortable, too, because this felt like a mature, adult conversation to him. Like a safe space.

After all, he was serious when he told them he needed to talk (now that Evander wasn’t here, because Evander was...not very sensitive). Hence, he was very glad they were being serious about it too.

“I understand that Hugh’s not in the spectrum.” Kasumi cleared her throat. “But...sexuality is fluid. Maybe, if you were talking about only that, it could be a good idea to talk it over. Only if he wants to, of course, because you never know; again, we can’t just assume, because one cannot do that. It’s rude. But what I mean...it’s that, whatever that’s going on in his head, maybe he’s trying to figure it out by himself. It might have nothing to do with his sexuality at all, actually, because, after all, that was just a comment...but it all comes back to the same point. Maybe he just...needs time.”

“Hugh’s pretty dense, Simon.” Simon saw the steamy cup in front of him, but he didn’t realize what it was until the smell of black coffee reached his nostrils. He hadn’t even noticed Tamaya was making coffee.

“Thank you.” He whispered anyway, as Tamaya leaned against the table, putting her weight on her elbows.

For all he knew, and all he cared about, it was pretty easy for people to judge Tamaya and label her as a bad person; she was quiet, although not in the way Kasumi was. On the contrary, she was rather serious, and her resting face was more intimidating than it was warm or welcoming. She was also really bad at controlling her temper, which didn’t help at all, but she wasn’t as bad as people wanted to portray her, or as bad as the recruits talked about her in the halls. Because, when it came to the recruits, Tamaya was strict, yes.

But somebody had to be, because being a Renegade was not a game, and the great majority of the advice she gave was extremely useful and clever.

Tamaya was caring.

Deep, very deep down. But she was.

“He’s pretty dense, but…” She sighed. “Most of the time, that’s not his fault. It’s not a good thing either. It’s not healthy for him and we shouldn’t condone it...but yeah. He can be pretty dense sometimes. He’s like that, most of the time it’s not his fault but...I don’t think you should feel like it’s yours either.”

Simon couldn’t help but flinch a little.

The thing was...he knew that.

It might’ve sounded crazy coming from him, but he knew it wasn’t his fault, even if his anxiety was determined to convince him otherwise.

Also, he was one to know that one couldn’t just fix a person. That’s not how mental health worked; of course, a romantic relationship or a relationship of any kind was a huge source of support and stability, but he knew it wasn’t enough to “heal” a person.

He knew about that, just like he knew that Hugh loved him and he loved Hugh, but that didn’t mean they could fix each other. They could make it a little better, yes; hold each other when things were rough; let the other know they weren’t alone.

But…”fixing” the other.

Not really.

They were humans.

They were people.

And the only thing people could fix, were objects, not other people.

“Like Kasumi said, sexuality is fluid, but it might as well not have to do anything with that.” Tamaya continued. Her voice sounded...soothing, strangely motherly. And she was calm.

Very calm.

It reminded Simon of someone.

They both reminded him of someone.

“Hubby and I, we both experience sexual attraction. It’s an important part of our relationship, and we enjoy it, but sometimes it’s just not the right time. He’s a doctor, I’m a Renegade Council member, and we have three wonderful boys together. Sometimes we don’t have time, so we just sit by the balcony to stargaze, holding hands, or we go out on dates like high school sweethearts, and I stand by the doorframe waiting for him to tell me I look pretty.”

Simon laughed a little.

It was evident she was trying to play it off as something dumb, but he found it absolutely adorable.

“And sometimes I’m too tired or he’s too tired, and that’s normal. It’s not our fault, and it doesn’t mean that we love each other less because…”

“Having sex doesn’t define love.” Kasumi said, and Tamaya nodded.

“Exactly.”

But again.

Again.

Simon knew that.

He really knew.

Hugh and him had busy schedules too. They both were Renegade Council members, and Hugh had it worse because not only was he a member, but also the leader of the Council. He had to be everywhere, at the same time, and people tended to think that just because he was invincible, it meant he didn’t have the right to feel emotionally drained, or at least tired.

Of course he was going to be tired.

He wasn’t a robot.

Hence, Simon understood what they were trying to say, and he agreed with Kasumi and Tamaya.

But the problem was…

He wasn’t referring just to that.

It was...part of the problem, yes.

But now that he knew their opinion about it, he had come to the realization that he still felt...empty and lost. And just...frustrated.

“We’re not only talking about sex, are we?” Tamaya asked carefully, and Simon refused to stare back at her, as he took a sip from his coffee, before answering:

“I’m afraid not.”

“Well...If you’re telling us this, it’s because you do want to talk about it, right?”

“I do. Yes.”

“Well. We’re listening.”

At the same time Tamaya spoke, a cold, little hand, laced between Simon’s.

A hand that felt like the sea and, even if he hadn’t known she was the only person in the room besides Tamaya and him, he would’ve recognized it as Kasumi’s.

So Simon squeezed her hand back.

“We’re listening, Si.” She confirmed. “We’re here for you.”

He knew that, and it was something he was extremely grateful about.

Now he just had to figure out how to put into words what he was feeling, because at this point it felt impossible for him to know.

There were just...so many things, but at the same time such a limited number of details he could recall.

It just felt...unreal.

And weird.

Very weird.

But Simon didn’t feel numb, unlike anyone would’ve expected from him.

In fact, he felt so sad he couldn’t even cry.

And it was the worst feeling ever.

“I don’t know.” He said, in a hoarse voice. “I just...don’t know anymore. It’s just...I…”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know.” He clarified. “...But maybe that’s why I don’t know what it is.”

For the shortest second, Simon came to the realization he was talking to himself instead of talking to them, or perhaps it was something that, deep down, was giving him the answer to why this whole situation was making him so uneasy and upset. Like, of course it was making him this upset. It was his husband they were talking about. Hugh was his fight. Hugh was…

Simon didn’t know.

But what he did know was that, maybe, it had nothing to do with himself, and that’s why he just couldn’t…

He just couldn’t understand.

Why couldn’t he understand?

Why did it have to be like this?

“I want to know what it is.” Simon took a deep breath, trying to make himself understood; trying to make them understand what he couldn’t. “...So I can...make it better...So I can...help him. So we can...look for help together.”

Simon scratched his brow with his free hand.

“But he’s just… so cold. He doesn’t talk to me. He doesn’t come closer. He doesn’t...do anything. We don’t do anything. And I can’t help but feel like...he’s not here, even though he’s…” Simon scoffed, painfully. “...He’s right there, in front of my face.”

His eyes became fixated on a blank point, as if he were staring at an invisible Hugh, who wasn’t staring back at him.

“And I want him to...tell me. Because if he doesn’t tell me, then I have no way to know what’s wrong. And if I don’t know what’s wrong...then I don’t know for how long I can take it, you know? It’s just...I can’t bear to stand there as he pushes me away.”

Kasumi started running her thumb through his knuckles, and Simon felt Tamaya’s hands on his shoulders, massaging them, gently.

“I’m just scared...that when he finally wants me to come closer again, it might be too late...and maybe I won’t want to come closer again.”

Tamaya’s hands stopped moving for a moment, and Simon could almost feel her and Kasumi’s shock. He hadn’t even planned to say that. It just slipped.

And when Simon noticed it had slipped, it was far too late for him to hold it back.

“Maybe you should talk to him, after all.” Kasumi said, slowly, and Simon stared into her eyes.

He didn’t realize that was the thing he didn’t want to hear until he felt nothing but hopelessness.

Emptiness.

Fear.

A type of fear that became more intense in the moment they heard the door opening, and that’s when Simon saw him.

Hugh was standing right there, staring, and when his eyes laid on Simon, he arched an eyebrow, looking genuinely confused and worried.

“What’s happening here?” He asked. “...Si? Are you okay?”

Are you?

Simon didn’t want to answer. He really didn’t.

He didn’t want this to be about him.

He didn’t want Hugh asking him what was wrong if, harsh as it sounded, everything that was making him uncomfortable or upset had to do with him, not because Simon was blaming him, but because he was genuinely worried.

Let me help, Hugh.

“I’m...fine.”

Let me in.

“...Yeah. I’m...fine.”

Please, love.

Let me in.

Simon could see him hurting, but where he saw hurt, Hugh saw some type of burden that was meant to be concealed, committing treason against his own advice; dodging the sound of the voice of a younger Hugh, who guided a younger Simon through the dark, telling him it was alright.

That pain was alright.

And that pain didn’t make him less human.

Hugh’s pain, in particular, was a grey, bleeding shell that was so thick Simon couldn’t find a way to get in, and Hugh couldn’t find a way to get out.

So they just pressed their palms together through the bleeding shell, staring at each other's eyes through a polarized surface, that stopped their skin from touching, and stopped their lips from finding the other.

And the worst thing...was that Simon was craving that. He craved Hugh’s lips. He craved everything physical about him, just like he craved everything that wasn’t physical too. And he craved him so much he felt like dying every time he was close. He craved him so much it made him feel like a teenager again.

Which, in his case, wasn’t a good thing.

He wished it was.

But...teenage years weren’t fun if you had to spend them trapped in a closet. Things were never good when lived from inside a closet.

He didn’t want his life outside that closet to be like that too.

“Did you have an attack? ...Si, did you take your pills? … You did, right?”

“Hugh.” Simon heard Tamaya’s voice. “Is there...something that you needed?”

Hugh blinked, knowing that, maybe, he had interrupted something.

Mostly because it wasn’t like Tamaya was trying to hide it either.

“...Yeah.” He said, resting his arms on the nearest chair.

Tamaya pulled away from Simon, and Kasumi let go of his hand. They didn’t become fully focused, nor did they put on their “I’m working” mode either, but they did manage to...pretend. Even Simon managed to do so.

“Uh...I…” Hugh snapped his fingers in front of his own face, trying to remember what was it that he had to say.

“....Yeah.” He concluded. “Yeah. Uh… Tam. I need you to head downtown because they want you to supervise some of the floats for the parade. From...up, I mean. So you can check some of the details. I already checked from the ground and everything’s looking good, but now they want you to give them the green light.”

“Right now?”

“Preferably.” Hugh scratched his nose. “Were you...in the middle of something?”

Tamaya filled her cheeks with air, and then let it out, making a little trumpet with her lips.

“No.” She lied. “It’s fine. I’ll go. Just let me put some stuff in my locker, alright?”

“Be careful when you fly, okay? It’s kinda hot outside. If you get dizzy...”

“If I get dizzy, I’ll land. I know. I’m the one who’s flying.”

Given that she was already heading by the door, Tamaya patted his shoulder, and they said goodbye with a very polite kiss on the cheek, before Tamaya left the room completely, and Hugh drew his attention towards Kasumi.

“Margaret White is acting out.”

Kasumi frowned. Deeply.

“Margaret...what?”

“Uh. White? You know? The Renegades’ ward? The kid?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who Maggie is.” Kasumi waved her hands in front of her own face. “...Who named her that?”

“Who named her what?”

“White. Who on Earth…?” Kasumi clicked her tongue. “Nevermind, okay? Just...what did she do?”

“Zoomie, I had already told you.” Hugh laughed, confused.

“I thought you were being rude, Hugh.”

Margaret White was the Renegades’ protégé. Her powers consisted of detecting and attracting metals which, evidently, was not something that was out of this world. In fact, she had been recruited at such a young age not because she had extraordinary abilities, but because she was problematic as heck.

She was Max’s age, more or less but, unlike Max, Margaret had no chill.

Her life was ruined from the moment somebody saw her and decided that White was a suitable last name for her, Tamaya used to say.

Margaret’s skin was tan, and she had slanted eyes. Naming her “White” almost seemed like a tasteless joke.

Simon himself thought Hugh was just being disrespectful the first time he told him her name, and he had to hear it a couple of times before he just...accepted he was serious (and that Hugh himself didn’t seem to like the idea of her being named like that very much).

Maggie was really problematic. For real. She had been kicked out of a couple of orphanages already, and maybe she would have been kicked out of this one too, if it hadn’t been a prodigy orphanage, which happened to be under Kasumi’s management, meaning it was directly related to the Council. And they were supposed to make sure nobody got kicked out of there.

Simon liked Maggie, because he knew that there was a chance that everything she ever did had reason behind it. An emotional reason. Perhaps she wanted love. Perhaps she wanted attention.

Perhaps she just…

Wanted someone who didn’t give up on her at the minimum inconvenience.

So he just...tried not to.

Hard as it was, because Maggie tended to make it hard; Kasumi had tried to canalize her to a psychologist many times, but her response always was that “she wasn’t crazy” (perhaps because kids her age were mean and “crazy” was one of their favorite words to use as an insult) and...well...part of the process in children, was understanding when it was the right time and when it wasn’t.

Sometimes forcing kids into treatment made it worse, and Maggie was pretty mature for her age, while painfully childish at the same time. Respecting her space and giving her time was their only option, if they didn’t want to turn her into a ticking bomb.

“Are you for real? I’ve been addressing her like that for like…”

“Just tell me what the little bundle of joy did now.”

“Pff.” Hugh scoffed. “Bundle of joy.”

Then, he cleared his throat the moment Kasumi fixed a glare at him.

“Well...the usual. She stole something from one of the nannies, Carrietta Ferland saw her and she locked her in a cellar so she wouldn’t say anything.”

“She locked Carrietta Ferland in a cellar.” Kasumi rubbed her forehead, and before she left the meeting room, she squeezed Simon’s wrist.

She didn’t say goodbye to Hugh.

Simon didn’t, either, when he excused himself under the sort of cheap white lie he needed to wash his face.

-.-

But one could only wash their face so much, before their partner suspected.

When Simon didn’t come back, Hugh didn’t go after him. He never did at first.

As in…

Hugh always went after him, just not at first; over time, Simon had grown to accept it wasn’t a pride thing.

When Hugh left, he never wanted anyone to go after him, and he was the type to believe that just because he didn’t want something, it meant nobody wanted it; Simon had gotten used to it, because Hugh was his husband, and they accepted each other just like they were.

What Simon refused to accept, was the bleeding shell Hugh was inside of.

He hated it.

He despised it, especially at night. It would grow around Hugh in slow motion, and then he would bleed through, and the whole room would turn red, overflowing it with unspoken, suffocated anger and pain.

Hugh turned his back at Simon that night, so Simon turned his back at him too, not because he was mad, but because he didn’t feel like staring at Hugh’s back today.

Their room became as cold as an industrial fridge, as they both fell deep into the notion the other was not asleep, and that they both were listening to the sound of a room that was currently filled with deathly silence.

Deathly as the bone-chilling cold penetrating their limbs, their organs, and their everything.

Deathly as…

Deathly as feelings.

All the stored feelings, and the way Simon craved something he knew was right there.

Hugh was right there. Right next to him. And his body, which he knew so well, was laying next to him, turning his back at him, with every mole, every sun freckle, a chest wider than the rest of his body…

And one single scar below his rib cage.

The same rib cage that protected his heart.

Say something, Simon.

The same heart Simon had felt beating so many times.

Say something.

Anything.

Maybe…

Maybe this had a reason too.

An emotional reason.

Perhaps love. Or attention.

Say something. Anything.

Because you do go after people from the very first moment.

Slowly, as if he had never moved before in his life, Simon rolled to the other side, and as his trembling hand rested on Hugh’s arm, he became alert, awake as they both were, and he looked over his shoulder.

“Hugh?” Simon asked, the name leaving a familiar firm in his mouth that tasted like home.

He didn’t answer, because that was his name. Hence, he knew he was trying to talk to him.

“Come here, Hugh.”

And Hugh came over, hesitantly, rolling to his side too, as they faced each other, and Simon ran his finger through his face, just...exploring every spot he already knew, as if he were visiting his comfort place, of his favorite bench in the park.

His blue eyes seemed to shine in the darkness, and Simon felt he could’ve gotten lost in them and never come back.

But he didn’t get lost.

Because he had to find the love of his life first.

“I’m never giving up on you.” He whispered. “...you know that, right?”

Perhaps he didn’t.

But, on the other hand, perhaps he did. And Simon was left with nothing but the mere hope it had meant something.

“I’m never giving up on you either, Si.”

But Simon did know that.

Boy.

Did he know.

-.-

What he didn’t know, however, was the answer to the what.

He wondered what that had felt like.

He wondered what Nightmare had felt when, the morning after, she tried to shoot Hugh in the eye from a roof.

Not because he were mad at her.

No. Not really.

She was young after all.

He just wondered what she had felt.

#renegades trilogy #marissa meyer #my fanfics #dawnie writes #hugh everhart #captain chromium #simon westwood #the dread warden #humon #renegays

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rockthingsbymeg · 4 years ago

Note

I wish you'd write a fic where ambiguous reader finds out their bf Slash is a full blown werewolf. This could go from pure horror to fluff so go for it I'd say ♡

I'm a sucker for Au's but I feel like the ones I write are shit so forgive me dear if you don't like it💛

- Y/N had always heard about werewolves and all that in the same way everyone did: tales

- man and women turning into wolves during the full moon, destroying and killing everything in their path... myths but terrifying stories to scare children

- as she was told during many years, that's all werewolves were, myths. So she convinced herself that she was going crazy when she started to read into some signs

- she had been dating Slash for over 3 almost 4 months, and although a sweet, caring, funny and hot as fuck boyfriend, he was also a bit odd

- he loved the alcohol and the parties with loud music, but every now and then, even the smell of an hold beer bottle in the trash made him feel bad. Even closed bottles had to be taken away from him

- he played no loud music in his house, which was weird, bc loud seemed to be the permanent volume of everything and everyone around him

- he'd get agitated, a bit snappy, possessive of his things, but this only happened during maybe 3 or 4 days during a month, but in a consistent pattern

- when Y/N first noticed that this behaviour was perfectly timed with the moon turning full, she thought it was a coincidence, or maybe it affected him almost the same way moon is said to affect a woman's menstrual cycle, so she just brushed it off

- but then, another coincidence, perked up her curiosity a bit more. One day at a month, slash would only talk to her or anyone else through the phone. No one was allowed to get close to his house, especially at night

- he had told her it was something related to a belief in his family, so Y/N thought that maybe it was a good idea to ask his mum. Bc maybe he was embarrassed to share it

- when Y/N got to Ola's house, where his younger brother also lived, Y/N found every door locked, despite the back one always being open, the windows sealed, the curtains closed... No one could catch the smallest of glimpses inside the house

- she knocked on the door anyway, and while she waited she could swear on her granny's grave that she heard an howl. Which didn't make any sense

- the door actually opened, but only a little bit, enough for Y/N to see Ola's tired face in the other side

- Y/N decided not to pry on that part, it was none of her business after all, and instead asked about Slash

- Ola just smiled comprehensively and told her she should ask him tomorrow first thing in the morning. And to take him some donuts bc that would help

- Y/N didn't know why donuts would help but she was his mother after all...

- she did just that. Went to bed, barely slept, got up bright and early, passed by a store to get some donuts, and then went straight into Slash's house

- she had a key so she let herself in, and was met with complete and utter chaos. There was furniture flipped around, scratch marks on the walls (there already before but Slash told her they were already there when he got the house), a... chain on the floor?

- Y/N was honestly starting to freak out, but tried to keep her cool and instead went to his room and gently woke him up, ignoring completely the disarray in which she found everything. Including the shredded clothes in the floor and the fact that he was naked and curled up on top of the covers

- Slash woke up startled asking her why she was there so early and Y/N explained it, after handing over the box of donuts, which literally made him perk up like a dog. Had he had ears, they would have probably moved like a dog's one

- she explained that she had noticed the pattern in his behaviour and that she thought that maybe he was embarrassed to tell her some family shit and so she asked his mother

- Slash seemed apprehensive while speaking. He asked her if she really thought it was family thing, bc he could tell when she was hiding something

- she blushed and laughed it off, saying how similar it was to a werewolf's behaviour, and the room suddenly went dead silent

- Y/N's heart started to beat faster and she begged slash to say something

- he asked her to calm down, to trust him, and to not move. She didn't understand why, but she did it

- Slash explained everything to her, and Y/N just nodded, trying to decided wether or not to believe all that

- he understood it was unbelievable, so he asked once again for her not to move and got up, standing in front of her

- in any other occasion, the sight of her boyfriend being completely naked with his cute little morning face would have gotten her wet in about 5 seconds, but right now her brain was in a completely different place

- he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and suddenly his body started to twist and turn, and Y/N could tell he was in pain

- she took deep breaths and did as he asked. Stood silent and didn't move

- after not more than 1 minute that seemed like an eternity, instead of her boyfriend, in front of her, stood a 7ft tall version of a mix between a wolf and a human

- Y/N doesn't recall anything else before passing out

- she's woken up by slash holding her close and cooing soft words into her ear, and sighing in relief when he noticed her opened eyes

- he's gentle, knowing she's probably terrified and let's everything go at her pace

- she sits slightly away from him for a bit, trying to process it all, and slash just holds her hand from afar, patient as always

- after a while Y/N asks him some questions about the whole thing, to which Slash calmly answers, and after a few hours the initial fear seems to have passed and Y/N is once again calm and comfortable around him, much to his happiness

- after that it takes a while to fully process the idea and slowly she learns a few things to help make his life easier, and slash is forever grateful to have found someone like her that loved him just as much as he loved her

------

Thank you so much for requesting <3

Wish for a fic!

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trickstercheebs · 4 years ago

Note

⌘: for literally any of your fics! Love your writing!

⌘: being picked up OKAY this is for Borrower!Gordon verse.. gonna put it under a cut for length for you anon. (set sometime in the far future bc shhh)

It had been a long day, or...actually what day even was it anymore? Gordon had lost track of the days as what he felt like a minor headache had blown into something so much worse it felt like. The others in the house didn’t quite seem to notice since life for them had vaguely gone back to normal and their schedules had them scurrying about into the outside world once more.

He had taken refuge onto the deserted couch, the floor felt far too cold to even bother standing on it let alone move from one room to another. He felt like his skin was burning off, but the air itself felt like it’d freeze him to the core any minute...He knew he was sick now but..he was far too tired to even do anything about it anymore and he should of asked for help ages ago when he started to feel things get worse. The house felt empty..was anyone even here aside from him? Maybe this was lifes way of getting back at him for getting comfortable for once in his life..Maybe one of the others was home?

“H....hello? ...please.....please is anyone here...? he..lp.”

There was no reply..he wanted to curl up and try to sleep off whatever this was, the only thing on the couch he could use as a blanket was some forgotten shirt that was far too thin to even keep him warm.

But eventually sleep finally came, as fitful as it was. Tossing and turning he tried to stay asleep and escape his minute personal hell for however long he could.

Benry’s phone alarm had gone off and he woke up with a groggy stretch..Bed felt far too cosy to bother leaving..but his body was giving off a clear need for the bathroom that he couldnt ignore...Might as well get up and take care of business, then maybe grab some snacks and get back to bed.. Today felt like a lazy one.

A few minutes later Benry wandered into the living room, finding it oddly quiet..Must of been a work day? He mentally shrugged and moved to get to them fuckin snacks when a soft noise reached his ears..

It sounded like wet gasping and coughing? The only other person in the house at this time he knew of could of been....Gordon? Shit he hadn’t seen the lil guy in a while..He figured he was hanging out with Tommy or one of the others..Gordon rarely bugged him these days for...some reason. He knew the man wanted his freedom and would never question him..hell he had just gained the mans trust after that whole hellish introduction...He felt like he was on thin ice with Gordon every day..

But that noise had him walking over towards where he heard it come from, the couch. The noise’s source was a small bundled up shirt shivering in the corner, and Benry’s brain kicked itself into high gear.

It was obvious it was Gordon, but why? Was he hurt, sleeping, what? The only way he could figure out was to gently untangle Gordon from the shirt.

“Yoo..Gordon you feelin well down there bro? You kinda sound like shit....Gordon?”

By now Gordon would of told him that he was fine and skitter off to do god only knew what..It hurt knowing Gordon was likely still scared shitless of him just because of his size but...There was no way in hell Benry would ever hurt him...it had been a normal discussion with him and Tommy during late nights.. Gordon trusted Tommy with his life and Benry wanted nothing more than to be friends with the borrower.

“Just give him time! He’ll...come around eventually. I’m sure one day you two will be like uh...uhh the best of fuckin friends!”

That day could wait, if Gordon hated him for what he was about to do then....Well he’d live with it. Gordon was shivering so badly the couch faintly vibrated under Benrys hands..that was not fucking good at all. How long had he been sick?? Did any of the others know? He wasted no time in fishing out his phone and rapid firing off a few texts to Tommy to get some childrens flu medicine and some other things. He next send some questions to Dr. Coomer asking how much medicine to give to someone Gordons size once the whole group knew what was wrong.

He knew it’d be a bit before any of them responded, it was a busy day for them most likely and he’d have to wait..But Gordon still needed help. He had a idea but it’d like he thought earlier just make Gordon hate him more.

Ah well...a mad Gordon was better than the alternative.

“Alright bro...time to spend some quality time with Big Benry for a bit...gotta, gotta keep a eye on you till the homies get home with the medicine...I’ll take care of you Gordon..”

Reaching down he’s almost hesitant to even touch Gordon...but he powers through knowing it’s for the best and gently cups the shivering man in both hands before moving him. He’s forgotten how utterly small Gordon is compared to his hands, he fits so neatly in them Benry’s almost transfixed at the sight before him. A thumb gently runs across the side of Gordons sweat drenched face before he snaps out of it and remembers what he has to do.

“shit...right, right. Fuck I gotta focus.”

He moves back into the bathroom with Gordon in tow and grabs a washcloth before gently wiping his face and arms down with the warm water. It feels weirdly intimate in a way he’s not sure of but he persists until Gordon stops shivering as much, and he’s as clean as he can get without Benry crossing a line he’s not willing to cross.

Gordons dried off and carried back into Benry’s room in short order and he briefly wonders what to do next. He should just make a nest for the other and just check up on him...But he cant nor does he want to, Gordon still feels frigid as fuck in his hands and he feels like a small child waiting to be scolded for doing something wrong when all they wanted to do is help out.

He huffs and makes his choice, today was gonna be a bed day...just a bit different.

-----

Gordon woke up sometime later feeling warm, not just from the fever but he was surrounded by a comfortable warmth he never knew he wanted so damn badly until now, whatever he was wrapped up in was ungodly soft and smelled...strangely nice? Like some sort of herbs he didn’t know the name of. He felt comfortable for once and couldn’t help the urge to nuzzle and stretch himself out to get more comfortable...It was then he heard the second set of lungs so close nearby he froze on instinct. Was someone holding him? Right...one of the others must of came by and saw him in such a horrible state and lent a hand when he was passed out.

Wriggling about some to figure out which way was up he managed to poke his head out of the mess of blankets, only feeling a bit sad about leaving such a cosy sleeping spot, but felt his stomach bottom out when he recognized where he was.

He was in Benry’s room again....and in Benry’s bed to boot, looking about it only took him a second or two to spot the massive bean’s sleeping form..he was apparently nestled up to his chest in the massive quilt Benry slept under. Gordon was scared for a brief moment..He had been on the couch and drenched in sweat but..he didn’t feel as disgusting as he usually did when in such a state. Hell he felt somewhat clean?

Inspecting himself he found out the smell was coming from him, did Benry do this? He didn’t remember anything aside from just passing out and waking up here. Should he make a run for it..? Part of him, the fearful parts screamed yes...that Benry was a threat...but was he? Gordon had had several talks with Tommy about giving him a chance, that he wasn’t that bad of a person.

Benry had taken care of him when he was at his most vulnerable.....again. And now here he was dead asleep in the arms of the so called enemy. Then why did he feel like just going back to sleep alongside him for a bit longer? As he thought things through, he looked Benry’s sleeping form over...he looked oddly peaceful, maybe something else but the shadows took up more than they showed.

“...alright Tommy...I’ll give him a chance.”

Yawning softly he turned to burrow back into the sheets and nestling up back into his spot in the crook of Benry’s arm and letting the warmth lull him back to sleep once more.

Benry cracked a eye once he felt Gordon sneak back under the covers and had to resist the urge to sob with joy. Goddamn he owed Tommy so many fucking kisses after this...It paid off just laying in bed and pretending to sleep the moment he felt Gordon stir...He felt so exhausted just staying still that the urge to sleep too was overpowering...

He could sleep when Tommy got home soon, but for now he’d happily keep Gordon warm and safe.

#cheebs writes #hlvrai #benry #hlvrai gordon freeman #Anonymous

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago

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There’s no name for it // J x Lilith x Pat (OT3) // cuddles.

I want to feel safe with my back pressed against J and Pat can pet me as they body watch over me. I need it, even when I’m sleeping. @jokershyena

LMAO you probably were just saying this without meaning for me to write it for you but woops!! My hand slipped!! 😉

Unedited bc it’s almost 4 AM and I’m lazy.

Word count: 2, 274.

Strategically chosen GIFs skksks.

It was no secret that Patrick Verona and J were your greatest and most cherished loves. They were the reason that you lived and breathed, the reason that you lived your life the way that you did. You faced so many more struggles than anyone should ever have to and though every day did you crave to be told the punchline of the bad joke known as life, you knew that it was to remain untold for quite some time yet. You lived and you loved for your loves, but, oh, how you wanted to sink into royal purple and charcoal grey and never resurface. If love was a song, then theirs was the one which you wanted to hear again and again for the rest of your life, the music playing on repeat, though each day would the lyrics differ, so changeable were the man who held your trashed and battered heart in their hands.

All you could think of this day while you were at work and dealing with customers who treated you like you were a mind reader or like you were a machine, like you didn’t know any better or like you knew it all, was how desperately you wanted to be intertwined with the two most precious beings in your life. One, a chaotic clown and the other, a clingy koala. One, a man known only as a terrorist to the city but to you was he your partner in life and in crime. The other, a bad boy with a reputation he hadn’t wanted or asked for, but to you was he the sweetest pretty boy you had ever known in your life or would ever know. In the end, it didn’t matter who the city said that they were, for you knew who they really were, and you loved them all the more for the things no one else but you could see. You were so empathetic and so wise and understanding a soul that you possessed the most wonderful knack of being able to see people who who they really were, and it was largely why you were so connected to J and Pat, and why they were so connected to you; for all three of you saw and loved each other for precisely who you all were.

Your commute on the way home passed in a flash; so outside of yourself were you and so preoccupied were you with what was waiting for you at home - who was waiting for you at home. As thoughts of J, who was undoubtedly out causing chaos while you had been at work, filled your mind, you thought also of Patrick and how he was; you missed your Peppermint and you missed your J. Oh, how your poor heart ached to think of them. How beautiful their souls were; they were the literal and physical embodiment of sunshine for you. Neither of them had been around recently, so busy were the three of you with your own lives and so distant were you from them. It wasn’t unusual for you to emotionally distance yourself, to pull away, when you weren’t feeling so good, and while both of your men understood it and gave you the space that you asked for, they would only accept it for so long; you didn’t really want to be away from them, no matter what you said.

It had been decided between J and Pat when it had been time for you to leave work that enough was enough. They had been watching you just barely survive on the very little that you ate and the even less of that amount which you were able to keep down, they had been watching you deal with stress fevers and stomach aches so bad that it felt like your appendix was pressing down on your stomach. They had been watching you survive off of naps and snatches of sleep, holding your dark hair back for you when you were sick... J and Pat had been there with you through the worst of the physical and mental anguish which you had been going through and up until tonight had they felt utterly useless in how to help you best. All they could do, knowing of you and what you went through every day as you did, was to just be there for you and make sure that you could, even when you were positively drowning within the murky waters of your own psyche every day, feel their love for you.

All they wanted to do was to love you and to be loved by you. You were their Hyena, their Lilith, their lives and their love. Because of you, both men had somewhere, someone that they could call a home. You kept their hearts safe, their lives intact; each and every day did J and Pat know that they were more than what the world thought of them and as such did they work to protect themselves so that they could home to you. But tonight... oh, but tonight would they be the ones to bring you home. Indeed, as you crossed the threshold of your apartment and began to shed your outer layers was J there was a can of Monster; ice cold and cracked, all ready for you. He was the first thing you saw upon entering the apartment but even so could you barely crack a smile for him.

J cooed mockingly. “Here ya’ go - a Monster for my monster.” As you reached out for the drink did J hold the can back, “A-ta-ta, no. I want pay-ment first.” Pat chuckled and took the can from J, which had been wordlessly held out to the younger of the two. This was a routine and it was one which you all enjoyed, and indeed as you reached up to cup J’s painted face in your hands, your thumbs on the sharp corners of his jaw, did your clown hum contemplatively as you pressed your lips to his. You threw yourself into the kiss and J caught you, as always he did, and he kissed you so hard that his teeth were felt as outlines against your own lips. J stole the very breath from your lungs but then replaced it with his own as in numerous ways did he breathe life back into you, the profoundly deep and rich love which J felt for you seeping into the pores of your skin and healing you from the inside out.

“Whoa, easy,” Pat chuckled, his hand on your shoulder. The heat from his hand seeped into your skin, through your shirt, and offered the same peace to your soul that J did, “Let her breathe, J,” The teasing in Pat’s voice made all three of you smile despite the obvious tension which rested in the air between you; all three of you were aware of why everyone was home at the same time but none of you wanted to voice it. So much of your relationship with the two men was left unsaid because you all knew each other so well that it didn’t have to be said.

“She’s fine, kiddo. Lil’s used ta’ not breathin’ because of me,” J cackled as he relinquished his hold on you and you gasped, truly dizzy from the sheer amount of love which J had just shown you. You barely had time to get used to what had just happened before another set of warm and full lips were on yours; this time was the kiss gentle, reverent. Pat kissed you for less time than J had done, so aware was he of how tired, truly tired, you were. He pushed the can of Monster into your hand at the same moment as he pulled away and you took a swig of Monster. In that one swallow could you taste remnants of J and Pat and the Monster itself and you closed your eyes in real and true love. Oh, but all you could feel was love.

“How was work, Lil?” Pat wound an arm around your shoulders, his fingers in your hair, and his lips at your temple. He feathered a series of kisses along the side of your face as he walked with you to the bathroom. He and J had made sure that everything was ready for you when you came home so that you only had to take care of yourself; something you rarely, if ever, did for yourself without some kind of extrinsic motivation. You were the kind of person who didn’t live for yourself, but for others, and though it broke your men’s hearts did they also understand why, for they lived for other people, too. In the three of you loving and living for each other did you also inevitably live and love for your own selves.

“Work was... work.” You shrugged and Pat hummed in sympathy. He left you at the bathroom door with J, who needed to shower as well (it was something he only did with you), and then did Pat wait patiently in bed for his reasons to live to shower and then join him; as always the two of you did. You and J rushed through your shower, neither of you talking beyond asking the other for the shampoo or the soap (J used way too much of yours and left a mess in the bathroom which you were too tired to deal with right now), and quickly did you both come home to Pat. Though all three of you resided within the same apartment, none of us were home without the presence of the other two in any given room with you. Indeed was home not a place, but two people, and the meeting of three sets of chocolate eyes only made it easier for the keys to your hearts to unlock your souls, to set free all three of you from the constraints of all the world told you that you had to be, of all the world told you that you were. Oh, but no one knew you or saw you or loved you as deeply as J and Pat did.

“Come on to bed, Lilith. You need to lie down with us and go to sleep.” Pat was laying on his side facing the door, the duvet on the other side pulled right back so that you could join him easily. You would sleep in the middle of the two men and J would sleep on the side closest to the door once he had carried out his nightly routine of checking all of the locks and entry points of the apartment for any kind of external threat; so protective and so vigilant was he.

You groaned. “Sleep is good.” Your body sank with palpable relief into the mattress and you groaned again as you shuffled across the expanse. You laid down facing Pat, your dark hair mingling with his own dark curls on his pillow. and his arm encircled your waist. You always slept on your stomach but while you were waiting for J to finish shaking his hair out like a dog would you lay facing your youngest life partner. He was closer in age to you than J was and J was so proud of the two of you that it felt like his heart would break from his chest in his sheer need to convey such an innate sense of pride to the both of you. Pat was warm and soft, his eyes pools of melted chocolate, and you felt those trashed and scattered parts of yourself click back into place as the bedroom door closed behind you with a soft but firm click as finally was the world shut out and only the love which existed between you in the safe confines of these four walls was allowed within the reality which the three of you would know until morning.

The bed dipped as for once J didn’t throw himself into the bed with you, but rather did he ease himself in; much like the way he had eased himself into loving you and caring for you and then Pat, further down the line when his tried and tired heart had expanded such that he could comfortably fit another being in there beside you. “Get, ah - get some rest, babydoll. Daddy’s got’cha, hm? Ya’ safe with me and Minty.” J shuffled across the mattress until he was pressed solidly against your back. His arm was around you and his fingers were laced between Pat’s, so that all three of you were inexplicably linked bodies, hearts, minds and souls in this moment. J moved to turn off the bedside light and then he settled in with you. And finally, finally, were you sent off to sleep in the arms of your angels. You were safe and warm and loved, for all that you were and all that you would ever be, and no matter what, no matter how dark things got for you, no matter how bad you felt or how rough and choppy the internal waters you were forced to wade through every day became, J and Pat would always, always love you, support you, and be there for you. You had more worth and value than you knew and you mattered, dearheart, beyond comprehension.

On this night and every night hereafter would you sink into royal purple and charcoal grey, knowing all along that you were right where you belonged, for in your clown and your koala had your soul found its forever home.

#heath ledger #patrick verona #ledger joker #pat x j x lilith #j x pat x lilith

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fullmetalscullyy · 5 years ago

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happy birthday to one of my favourite humans @snowdog49 💕💖 my gift for you is some royai fluff with mia from “the way it was”

this is a oneshot idk if it will be in the main story or not but i know you wanted more moments with papa!roy and mia so here you go uwu

have the best day bc you deserve it sm ❤

“Daddy?”

Riza jerked herself from sleep upon hearing her daughter cry out for her father. Groggily she sat up, disorientated for a second. When she got her bearings, she heard Roy still snoring in the bed beside her.

“Daddy?” Mia called again, her voice taking on a hint of fear. Every instinct screamed at Riza to go through and see to Mia… But she was so tired.

Plus, this was Roy’s fault. He’d been watching her one night while Riza was at the university for a meeting regarding her studies, and Roy had decided it would be a smart idea to put on a film for children, which in itself, was fine… however, now Mia had nightmares – every night – about the ridiculously large “wererabbit” that had been the main antagonist in the story.

Bless her little heart, she was terrified of it. Riza had watched the “scary” parts after Mia had finally fallen asleep – she’d been too scared to – and there was nothing scary about it, however to a four-year-old… Riza could see where the fear came from. It was large cuddly looking “wererabbit” that had comically large teeth and a cute little smile, but the setting of the film was eery. It would definitely spook a four-year-old.

Roy’s argument was that he’d watched it when he was younger and didn’t find it scary. Well, now he had to deal with the consequences.

Riza had been up with her four nights out of the past five, so now it was his turn.

Lying back down in bed she reached over with her foot, contacting his shin rather sharply.

He grunted in pain. Riza had closed her eyes, feigning sleep, but felt the bed dip by her side. Opening them slightly in the darkness, she saw Roy had pushed himself off his front, and watched as he shook his head to try and right himself, just like Riza had done when she first woke.

“Daddy!” Riza’s heart ached and she almost ran through there and then because Mia sounded so scared. Roy had obviously heard her cry. Before literally dragging his body out of the warm and comfortable bed, he flopped out of his push up position, hitting the pillow with his face hard. There was another groan and then he stumbled tiredly to their bedroom door.

“Hey, Mia Bear,” he greeted sleepily, followed by a yawn. “What’s up?”

“I had another nightmare,” Riza heard her whisper. Riza had to strain, eventually choosing to sit up so she could eavesdrop on their conversation.

* * *

“Another nightmare?” Roy asked tiredly. Damn, he hadn’t thought the film would be this terrifying to her. It was a massive stuffed rabbit, what was so scary about that?! He’d loved that film as a kid.

Mia nodded and pulled her sheet higher up her face, so now it was covering her mouth.

He paused for a second in the doorway, taking in the scene before him. Her eyes were large and earnest, almost begging him not to leave her alone in her room with her dreams. The grip on her sheet was tight, her knuckles matching the colour of the white cover.

“Shift over,” he murmured, stepping into the room. He reached to switch her bedroom light off, but Mia whined and shook her head, tears beginning to collect in her eyes. “Hey, it’s okay, Mia. I’m here.”

“No!” she cried out. “Don’t turn the light out,” she whispered.

Great. He’d made her afraid of the dark.

“Mia, it’s fine, I’m right here –”

“No!” She sounded like she was about to burst out crying.

Roy sighed and lowered his hand away from the switch. If it was causing her this much distress, then it wasn’t worth it.

“Okay,” Roy reasoned. “I’ll be back in a second.”

“No, Daddy,” she pleaded. “Don’t leave me, please!”

Something in Roy’s body jerked at the words Mia used. Riza had requested the same thing from him after returning from Ishval. He never could – not like that again – but still, the fear in Mia’s voice held him at bay a second longer.

The reality of his situation was that if he was called up, he would go off to fight in a war. However, he’d already left Riza once and it was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. He didn’t think he’d be able to do it again, especially not with Mia in the picture now too.

Then you’ll be demoted, or lose your job, Roy.

“Daddy?” Mia’s call was uncertain, and it drew Roy back to the present.

Focus on them. Always.

Cross that bridge with the military if it comes to it.

“Sorry, Mia Bear. Come with me,” he beckoned, holding out his hand.

Immediately she hopped out of bed. She slipped on her bear slippers – they were brown and the front at the toes was a comically large bear’s head – and shuffled over to him. Mia grabbed his hand tightly and Roy didn’t think he’d be able to escape the grip if he tried.

“Where are we going?” she asked as they stepped out of her bedroom. Roy felt Mia tense because the hallway was dark, so he flicked on the light switch that was across from her bedroom door. The grip on his hand relaxed after they were bathed in the light.

“I have a night light in our bedroom that will make your bedroom a bit brighter while you try and sleep.” Roy paused before his bedroom door and knelt, so he was eye-level with his daughter. “But we’ll need to be extra quiet because Mummy is sleeping, okay?” Mia nodded. “Like a mouse.”

“Like a mouse,” Mia repeated with a giggle.

“And if you’re quiet enough, you’ll hear Mummy snoring.” He grinned when he stood, hearing Mia gasp beside him.

“Does Mummy snore?” she whispered, almost scandalised.

“Oh yes,” Roy reassured her. “Like an elephant.”

That will teach her to kick me awake, he thought, chuckling to himself.

When they entered their bedroom, it did look like Riza had fallen back asleep. Mia wouldn’t be able to see her face from her level, but Roy could, and he watched as she opened one eye and raised the matching eyebrow.

Roy gestured to her with his head, telling her to play up her act, and was unable to stop himself from snorting when Riza let out a loud snore. It was just one, then she quietened down, but it made Mia giggle and to both parents, that was all that mattered.

Mia had slapped a hand over her mouth to try and stifle her laugh, but it wasn’t working very well. The louder she laughed the louder Riza comically snored and if Roy wasn’t quick, Mia would figure out the joke.

“Mia,” Roy scolded lightly with a grin. “Quiet as a mouse, remember?”

It took a lot of effort, but she managed to school her expression and hold in her laughter. For the second time that night, Roy’s movements were arrested by how alike her mother Mia was. It was like he’d been transported back fifteen years and was watching Riza do the same thing in her father’s old house while they played in secret, trying not to disturb him.

“Okay,” Mia vowed, but let out one last giggle. “Quiet as a mouse,” she nodded.

Roy tugged her over to the dresser in the corner. He crouched and pulled open the bottom drawer while Riza “snored” at a much lower volume behind them. Finding what he was looking for, Roy lifted it to show Mia, then jerked his head back to the door, making sure he had a tight grip of her hand to tow her out.

Once safely back in her bedroom, Mia let out another giggle. “Wow, Mummy is a very loud snorer!”

“She is,” Roy agreed, feeling too playful to not go along with it. Plus, it had cheered Mia up, so how he could give up the gig now? “Sometimes it takes me ages to fall asleep because she’s so loud!”

Mia’s head tipped back as she lay on her bed, her peals of laughter echoing around the room. She certainly wasn’t concerned about not “waking up” Mummy now. Roy wasn’t going to stop her. Not while her legs lifted into the air and kicked in her hilarity.

“Mia,” he laughed to himself, approaching their daughter’s bed. At this rate she’d be too wired to sleep. “Quiet as a mouse, remember?”

“Sorry Daddy,” she giggled. Her legs lowered, flopping down on the bed, and her hands came to rest on her stomach. She grinned at him and Roy thought it was one of the loveliest sights in the world. An overwhelming urge to remain there with his daughter all night overcame Roy, and he knew he wouldn’t be returning to sleep by Snoring Riza’s side tonight.

“It’s okay, Mia Bear. Right, let me get this set up,” he announced, waggling the night light in front of him.

The night light was something his mother had bought when Mia was born. “I wonder if she will take after her father,” Christmas had remarked with a raised eyebrow. Roy had been terrified of the dark as a kid, and who could blame the kid who slept above a bar while drunken men shouted and partied below him. In the old bar, it was like ghosts floating around the floors.

By pure coincidence, it was also shaped like a bear. Mia didn’t start what they called her “bear phase” until she was about two, but it matched the bear blanket she’d had as an infant then as a toddler. Roy glanced over to Mia’s shelf next to her bed, seeing the same bear blanket – much more worn now than it had been years ago – angled where it was lying so the bear head was watching over her bed while she slept.

Mia was terrified again when Roy went to turn her bedroom light off. Her mouth was parted in fear, her hands gripping her bedsheet tightly in her fists.

“It’s okay,” Roy reassured her. “Look.”

Before she could protest, Roy flicked the light off. Mia let out a loud whine, but it died off quickly when a soft glow emitted from the night light plugged into the socket by her bedroom door. Roy stepped out of the way to let the whole light fill the room, and thanks to a little filter on the plastic, there were now tiny little bears projected all over her ceiling and walls.

“Wow,” Mia gasped in wonder, her head craning all around her room to find them all.

“Now the bears will watch over you,” Roy told her, approaching the bed. “Budge over.” Roy lifted the cover and scooted into the bed next to his daughter.

He didn’t want to leave her tonight. Their shenanigans didn’t happen often because he was so busy at work, but he’d take every opportunity he could to spend time with Mia. He wished they could play all day, every day, but alas, that would never be a reality. So, if spending time with his daughter meant watching over her while she slept – and himself losing sleep in the process – then he would take it. Always.

“Get some sleep, Mia,” Roy murmured. He’d propped himself up on an elbow, his head resting on a fist. His hand ran through Mia’s unruly hair. It was so like his own, and Roy was very proud of that fact.

“I can’t,” she whispered, pulling the sheet right up to cover her mouth.

“You can, honey. I’m right beside you and you have all your bears watching over you now too.”

Mia’s head craned up to look at him. “You won’t leave?” she asked, her tone pleading with him not to.

Once again, Roy was jerked back into the past.

“Just promise me you won’t leave,” Riza whispered against him.

“I won’t,” Roy vowed. “Not like that again.”

“Never,” Roy vowed. He bent forward and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll protect you, and so will your bears.”

“But…” Mia trailed off then lifted her head, peering down the bed to the bottom where his feet were sticking out underneath the sheet. “You don’t fit,” she frowned.

Roy chuckled, wiggling his toes. Mia smiled and laughed at the same time. He almost opened his mouth and told her he’d slept in worse places, but that was not an avenue he wanted to go down at three o’clock in the morning with his four-year-old.

“I can’t go back to sleep in the same bed as Mummy, though.”

“Why not?”

“You heard her snoring!” Roy exclaimed. “I won’t be able to fall asleep with her snoring that loudly.” Mia’s laughter was loud once more, and it was wonderous sound. It was worth it one last time. Riza might kill him for it, but Roy didn’t care. “Get some sleep Mia Bear. I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” Mia sighed, settling into her bed as she shuffled right up to his side. Roy’s arm wrapped around her body, pulling her in close he couldn’t resist bending to kiss the top of her head one last time.

“Mummy loves you too.”

“I love Mummy,” she yawned. “She’s the best.”

“Better than me?” Roy asked in mock horror.

Mia snickered sleepily. “Never, Daddy. You’re both equally the best. She’s the best Mummy and you’re the best Daddy.” Mia’s eyes drifted closed and Roy felt her body relax into the bed. Mia was asleep almost in an instant.

On the opposite side of the room, Roy glanced up when he heard her bedroom door open. Riza crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe with a soft smile on her face as she watched them.

“You are a menace,” Riza whispered to him.

“It cheered her up,” Roy shrugged. “And it stopped her thinking about the wererabbit, so I’m classing it as a win,” he grinned.

“Uh hu.” Riza raised an eyebrow. “At my expense,” she pointed out, but Roy knew she wasn’t mad.

“Anything for our little girl, right?” he reminded her sweetly, then laughed quietly as she rolled her eyes at him, pushing off the doorframe as she unfolded her arms.

“Of course,” Riza agree. Her whole expression softened as she watched Roy brush a hand through Mia’s hair, alternating between doing that and brushing his thumb over her forehead. “Anything for her.”

“I promised I wouldn’t leave. Go back to bed. I’ll be fine here,” Roy reassured her.

“I love you,” she murmured over her shoulder.

“Love you too, my darling.”

“Oh, wait,” she muttered, crossing the room. She crouched at his side, giving him a chaste kiss. Roy smirked into it, loving her attention.

“And for the record,” she whispered in his ear. “I don’t snore.”

Even to this day, her breath tickling his ear made him shiver. Roy doubted that feeling would ever leave him, and he was one hundred per cent okay with that.

“Yes, dear,” he replied dutifully, his tone suggesting he didn’t believe her one bit. He smirked though, and he caught Riza hiding her grin as she walked away.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai au #royai oneshot #emma writes #the way it was #gift fic

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house-of-tykayl · 5 years ago

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cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love

#:)#text #cystar #im weak #yes i referenced teen titans go because ttg actually has the wholesome cystar content can you believe this. episodes just about them #and theyre really cute #fight me irl #might edit this later its a mess #long post

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peterjakes · 5 years ago

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‘no one knows the pain’

so bc I’m an impatient bitch and can’t wait until Friday I decided to write a little piece about sander – I’m not even sure how to describe it. But I wanted to write something different from my usual stuff and like everyone else I’m obsessed with these two and just want them to be happy!

enjoy x

also posted on ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21748483

Because there is no us

Those 5 heart-breaking words from the love of his life glare right back at him, until the screen turns blank and Sander is faced with his own wretched reflection. The bags under his eyes almost seem to have a life of their own, separate to himself. He hasn’t slept for three days, but it was only now his body had started to react. Everything was too much. Too loud. Too crowded. Too bright. His bed...the bed in this room he’d been given, it wasn’t comfy at all. It felt too small, yet too big. The sheets were itchy against his skin, they looked and smelt clean, but they didn’t feel right. The room was tiny, he felt claustrophobic as if the walls would soon start to move towards each other and he’d been even more trapped.

He was just so tired. He wanted it all to stop. He didn’t want to feel anymore. He was so tired of feeling. So tired.

Since regaining consciousness, his thoughts had just been on Robbe. He still hadn’t put all the pieces of that night back together, not completely. He remembered lying in bed with Robbe, so calm and comfortable in his arms. Then he was by the window, he remembered feeling warm. His skin became less of his own, he wanted to scratch it all away. Out of bed. Then possible hunger. Cold air. Dampness. Darkness. Sirens. Britt’s piercing voice. A soft touch. A distance shout.

But he couldn’t tell what was real. All of these memories, delusions, would crash together as if fighting to who would stay in Sander’s mind. A constant fight, one that Sander was so tired of. A constant cycle.

He unlocks the screen and stares blankly at the message again for a moment before pushing his phone aside and forces himself to stand up beside his bed. His throat feels dry, he needs water or something. Wrapping his fingers around his neck, he squeezes ever so slightly, gulping down. Dying by strangulation. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind. Not in that way. Could someone strangle themselves to death? He wasn’t sure he was even strong enough. He felt so weak and tired.

Dying had become something Sander thought about regularly. To die in a moment, a happy moment; wasn’t that the dream? But right now, he wasn’t happy. He’d never been so unhappy in his life. Dying now, that wouldn’t help, would it? Would it be right? To die alone?

He tearfully reaches back for his phone, his hands trembling at the thought of replying to that message. His fingers hover ever so slightly over the keypad, wishing for the words, the right ones, to appear in his mind. He waits and waits. Nothing. Emptiness.

He knows he needs to lie down, try to control himself. The unappealing bed stares up at him, trying to entice him, but he chooses the floor instead, hard and uncomfortable but still a better option. He flinches slightly at the touch of the cold ground and tries to control his breathing, just like his mother taught him. Trying to imagine anything that’ll help, Sander closes his eyes and thinks back to that night, of what he can remember. Straining his brain for any kind of happiness, Sander struggles to breathe, the emptiness pushing down hard. He tries to rid this feeling, sitting up and rubbing his hands against each other. Trying again, he lays down and thinks of Robbe, just Robbe. Those ocean eyes, the little twinkle that made Sander weak at the knees, that adorable giggle he did whenever Sander said something only half amusing, his tenderness whenever he touched Sander, the warmth of his touch, the feel of his small curls between Sander’s fingers.

His heart yearns for Robbe, yearns for his touch, yearns to hear his laugh, hear his soft voice, but in his mind, he knows that he doesn’t deserve him, not after everything he’s done. Robbe needed someone stronger, someone kinder, someone who knew their own mind. Sander didn’t fit the bill. Robbe obviously knew his own worth, and Sander wasn’t worth the trouble. He fucked it all up. The one time and only time, he really needed not to do that.

The guilt seems to be growing inside him. Sander doesn’t think he’s ever felt this bad about an episode. So ashamed. So unhappy. So hopeless. Not only does his heart ache, but his entire body doesn’t even feel like his own. It was becoming too much for Sander. It always became too much. Crawling back onto the bed, he crouches down, pulling his legs towards himself, gripping tightly, and starts yanking at the tugs of hair. It hurts. Sander knows it hurts. But he carries on anyway, wanting to feel more. He needs to. Just something. This goes on for a good 5 minutes until the literal tears in Sander’s eyes pierce his skin, and he comes back to reality. Sander can feel his heart, it beats and beats, physically hurting, just as if it was being shattered into pieces that very moment by every single beat.

He wanted to reach out, reply to Robbe, explain everything. But wouldn’t he just cause more damage? He’d already fucked so much up, in such little time. It had been what, 2 months? He’d felt so much for Robbe in that short amount of time but now it was clear that he just ruined everything. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t try and try for it to just go wrong. Again, and again.

This just proves what Sander always knew, deep down. A burden. That’s all he is, all he’ll ever be. A burden to his tired mother. A burden to angry Britt. A burden to lovely, sweet Robbe. Nothing will ever change that. Maybe it would be better for Sander to stay here, away from anyone else he could ruin.

He should never have hoped. Never have imagined that he could be so happy. Those moments in the hotel, before it all came crashing down, they were too perfect. The calm before the storm.

But can he blame Robbe? Who would want to deal with this kind of Sander? His mother could barely cope. Britt always seemed to despise but relish Sander being something to fix. Robbe knew the truth; something Sander was so scared of, and now he knew he was too good for Sander. Something Sander had always feared.

Alone once again. Always alone. Forever alone. His biggest fears came true.

No one wanted this version of Sander, the real Sander, not even Robbe. No one can help Sander, not even himself. He doesn’t deserve help. He deserves this all. He never deserved someone so true, so kind like Robbe. He was so foolish to think something good could finally happen.

But Robbe was so soft and warm and kind, compared to Britt who was so harsh and angry and loud. The two were such a contrast, and yet it was Britt who forced herself onto Sander, who even now would insist on visiting him. It had been white noise from Robbe until Sander had sent that message over. He tried to keep it light, wanting to check the waters before delving into what happened. Maybe that annoyed Robbe. Maybe he should have been more direct. Robbe couldn’t have been more direct with that message.

Everything seems so dark. The loneliness seems to take over. He can’t feel anything else. It hurt to breath; he feels like he’s suffocating. He just wants it all to stop. Forever. He stays the same for the next two days, not getting much more sleep, he barely eats (the food here is nothing compared to his own cooking) until he sees a notification from Robbe.

I want you!

By this time, he can barely bring himself to move. All of his energy seemed to be used up. He can’t stop looking at the notification. He doesn’t open it, still wary, but reads over the message, unsure if it’s real or not. Of course, it’s real, it has to be real. But why would Robbe do this? Make him feel so empty and worthless, and then turn it around. Why would Robbe want someone like Sander?

#wtfock #wtfock fic #wtfock fanfic #wtfock fanfiction #robbe x sander #sobbe #rosander #sander driesen #skam #no one knows the pain #*mine #*mywriting

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tornadoofcreation · 5 years ago

Text

Lloyd Heacanons Pt. 2

~I don’t think there’s anything too bad in here, but trigger warning for slight mentions of anxiety~

These also got really long, oops sorry

* He gets stomachaches and headaches when he’s stressed.

* He gets very, very upset with himself when he fails in a mission and makes a mistake.

* He has a bad habit of skipping meals and sometimes goes a full day without having a single proper meal

* Despite this, he’s not picky at all when it comes to food. Maybe it’s because he lived on the streets for a while and took what he could get or maybe it’s just because he’s Lloyd, but he will eat literally anything. Ketchup and bananas? Sure. Peanut butter and cheese sandwich? Sure. Everyone, save Cole, is high key disgusted by it

* He also loves pineapple on pizza, much to Kai and Zane’s disdain

* When Zane died, Lloyd blamed himself because if he had just been a bit stronger and better, maybe when he had defeated the overlord, he would’ve stayed dead.

* Because of this, he started obsessively training and completely neglecting his human needs. It got to the point where Garmadon would literally sit on the edge of Lloyd’s bed all night to make sure he actually slept and didn’t wake up at some ungodly hour to train

* Okay that got a bit too angsty for me, so, Lloyd’s favorite color is yellow and he likes wearing pastels. He owns a lot of light greens, blues and yellows

* He also loves doodling on his jeans and shoes. His jeans are almost all ripped up and covered in sharpie doodles. He has one pair of white converse that he uses as a canvas

* He loves strawberry marshmallows and strawberry milk. Obviously, his favorite ice cream is strawberry

* He talks to himself a lot

* He visits the Ninjago orphanage a lot, just to talk to the kids, and make friends with them. When he turns 18, though, he’s planning on adopting all of them. Every. Last. One.

* He chews on his sleeves when he’s stressed

* He also bites his nails until they bleed. To get him out of the habit, the other ninja (mostly Kai) put bandaids on all of his fingers so he can’t access his nails

* He was once so tired in a press conference that he said “hi, I’m Energy, master of Lloyd” and it’s become a Ninjago-wide meme

* He loves lizards. They’re so cute and have the sweetest faces. He also likes frogs.

* He also really likes sharks

* Because of his dragon side, he’s sort of cold blooded. It’s not full, but if it’s very cold outside, Lloyd needs to keep extra warm to regulate his body temperature and maintain homeostasis

* He has these horrible side effects of getting possessed where he’ll get really dizzy, pass out, start shivering uncontrollably, get pain flashes or start vomiting blood. The effects just randomly show up and it’s very scary for Lloyd and everyone around him when it happens. (Not my personal headcanons, based of an ask that @lindsey-chr-not-found received (sorry for tagging I just wanted to give credit))

* He had to get his passport illegally meddled with because his birthdate looked very suspicious

* After the whole possession fiasco, Lloyd always kisses his mom before every mission, because when he was possessed by Morro, Lloyd feared for his life and all he could think was that he was going to die here, and the last thing he did was refuse to kiss his mom goodbye

* He’s prone to panic attacks

* He always keeps some type of fidget with him. When he has to give public speeches, he likes to play with it to make him feel more comfortable

* The ninja eventually got him a spinny fidget ring that he wears all the time. It helps him so much

* This is more of a garmadon HC, but he knows that Lloyd tends to bottle up his own fears and pain to be strong for others. Because of this, garmadon makes sure to ask Lloyd how he’s feeling every single night, just to encourage Lloyd to open up and give room for him to talk if somethings wrong

* Lloyd goes on runs a lot. He likes to clear his mind and take a moment to breathe

* He likes listening to others talk. He’s not great with social interactions and people. He prefers to listen than to talk

* However, he really has a way with words, and the fact that he’s a pretty quiet person makes the words that he does say very impactful

* He need glasses, but he doesn’t like wearing them. he usually only wears them when he’s around the house or needs to read. He wears them during interviews, because it’s really embarrassing when he spends like 5 whole minutes squinting trying to read the question

* Wearing them makes him look so much older though

* After season 9, he started growing his hair out more and changing small things about his appearing because after everything that just happened, he hates when he looks in the mirror and sees an almost carbon copy of his father

* Lloyd got highlights in his hair because the most apparent difference between him and his father is that Lloyd’s hair is lighter, so he went and got highlights to exaggerate that differences

* As a side effect of the whole “master of energy” thing, Lloyd’s powers can leave him drained of energy very easily. After the whole ‘losing powers’ situation is s9, his powers seem to be different and he’s prone to fainting when he overuses them. Wu told him that he needs to be very careful because if he’s in a situation like he was in season 8, when he fought garmadon, it could sap his energy completely and leave him in a coma.

* He likes putting colorful bandaids on his injuries

* Speaking of injuries, he has a scar right above his heart from the battle with garmadon in true potential. He absolutely hates the scar.

* He is victim to all kinds of nicknames about his hair. The ninja are very creative when it comes to these nicknames, but their favorites are “blondie,” “Rapunzal,” And “Goldilocks”

* Jay and Lloyd like to enthusiastically re-enact starfarer scenes for the others. It started when the power was out, so jay and Lloyd decided to entertain everyone else by performing the entire starfarer movie. After that, it kinda became a thing.

* Little Lloyd used to make blanket forts on the bounty when he was sad, so now all the ninjas, after a particularly difficult battle, will make a blanket fort and just enjoy each other’s company,

* Sometimes they’ll sit in the fort and make up stupid games, or they’ll play video games, or they’ll talk, but sometimes, they just sit in silence and drink in the fact that all of them are okay, and they’re all alive.

* His favorite partners for missions are either Kai, Nya or Cole. Kai and Nya because they’re his siblings and they know each other’s fighting style and where they need to cover each other. (Kai And Nya always cover Lloyd’s left side, bc his left leg still is weak from the time he broke it in season 2). He likes working with Cole as well, because Lloyd has a tendency to panic and overthink, and Cole is so grounded and chill and his strategies are simple and practical.

* He struggles a lot with finding his worth when he is not the green ninja. Lloyd struggles with the fact that his friends only care about him because of his important title and everything.

* That was something his father helped him with a lot. Finding Lloyd’s strengths and all the things that make Lloyd wonderful and lovable. Not the green ninja. Garmadon reminded him a lot that the child he loved and cherished was not the green ninja, but Lloyd.

* Finding his own worth without relying on his powers, title, and family is something Lloyd is working very hard on.

* As soon as Ray and Maya were brought back after season 7, Kai and Nya dragged Lloyd to them and just kinda announced to them that Lloyd was their new son. Both ray and Maya adore him.

* The reason the ultra dragon liked him so much was not because he was the green ninja, but because of the dragon in him. They also connected with Lloyd the same way Firstborn connected to the FSM. They sensed purity and kindness in Lloyd’s soul

* He knows all the small hiding places on the bounty. Whenever he gets overwhelmed or needs to have a breakdown without messing up his “perfect” façade, he goes to those spots and hides.

* Misako and Wu tore down Garmadon’s monastery after season four when the ninja were gone for a week to follow a lead. When Lloyd got back and saw that his father’s monastery had been torn down by his own mother and uncle, he cried for hours on end.

* He was furious and refused to speak to his mother for a few days because this monastery was a such a big part of the legacy of peace garmadon tried so desperately to leave behind. He even sacrificed himself for this legacy, and his own mom, garmadon’s wife who should know how important this was better than anyone, tore down a big part of this legacy to build a tea shop.

* When the tea shop was built, the ninja had sleeping quarters in the shop. Lloyd; however, literally took his blanket and slept outside for the first two weeks. (The others begged him to stop when he caught a fever after sleeping in the rain)

* When the ultra dragon was still around, when Lloyd was feeling sad or lonely, he wold go and sleep in the dragon keep with them. All four heads would nuzzle around him and comfort him until he fell asleep.

* Lloyd and the other ninja burst into musical numbers all the time. If one of them starts a number, the rest are literally legally obligated to join in.

* The first few days after Lloyd aged up were hard for Wu because he looked so much like garmadon

* His anxiety can be really horrible, especially after Morro, and to help with it and make sure it doesn’t get in the way of doing his job, Lloyd takes medication for it.

* Lloyd has a tendency to overwork himself because he constantly feels he needs to prove that he is good enough. Wu sometimes finds this very concerning, because 1) overworking yourself isn’t good for you, but more importantly, in some way, Lloyd’s need to constantly be working and proving his worth reminds Wu a bit of Morro.

* Of course it’s very different. Morro wanted to prove he is the best, while Lloyd wants to prove that he is good enough and worth loving and caring about

* It is so incredibly hard for Lloyd to resist the forbidden scroll’s power, because he has always struggled with self worth, and this scroll gives him power that makes him so important and useful

* After season 2, when Lloyd was receiving awards for destroying the overlord, an alarming amount of new mothers approached Lloyd, telling him they named their baby Lloyd. It kinda freaked Lloyd out, to be honest

* Lloyd’s puppy eyes can convince anyone of anything. Whenever the ninja need to convince Wu of something, they send Lloyd.

* Lloyd knows what places on the bounty each ninja visits most often, so after a hard battle or if one of his siblings is having a bad day, he’ll stick little post it notes with nice messages in all of those places.

* He ends every note with “I love you so much. Love, Lloyd” and a little heart

* After the Morro incident, every single day, Wu would find a new note on his teapot, telling him what an amazing teacher he was, or how much he meant to the ninja.

* After skybound, Lloyd could tell that Jay was hiding something and that he was acting different, so he left a note every day on all of jay’s inventions and the video game console

* He left some for Cole on the refrigerator after he became a ghost

* For Nya and Kai it’s whenever they’re having a bad day. Sometimes Lloyd leaves them on random days, just to remind his big brother and sister how much they mean to him

* For Zane it’s on bad days as well

* After season 8/9 the others started doing it for him. The day after garmadon was defeated, Lloyd woke up to little notes on all of his belongings, from his sword, to his towel to his comics. He kept every single on of them.

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