#the way he got treated in this episode is fucking CRAZY . like actually fucking wild

[papertowness]

if i was wilson i wouldn’t fully forgive any of these assholes because actually what the FUCK

everyone in the show being angry at WILSON during the tritter plotline is lowkey fucking insane

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

pit babe ep 3 stray fever thoughts

- they are NOT playing with these episode lengths like damn

- still love the intro like come on color grading

- black turtleneck suit jacket combo this man is one of the baddies

- “he’s the one who babe calls daddy” i feel like is maybe more of a translation thing…. but awlright

- i see babe already pulling out the puppy eyes… its joever for me if we’re being honest

- ok how many of the characters are tony’s adopted children cause im gonna go with any and everyone until proven otherwise

- sonic again with the fits. at least he commits and we must stan for that

- oh this is kinda nostalgic for fixing cars with my dad…

- ok alanjeff kinda funny. like alan whining about his current crisis and jeff in the corner eating noodles and being judgy i love it

- oh way knows people ?? he has conversations that don’t revolve around babe??

- ok coloring. i love you blue sets

- HIS FUCKING CARS AHHHH

- oh so babe is rich.

- he has a tortured soul and hot wheels collection your honor how could i not wanna hit

- GET A JOB!! STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!!

- oh this subplot goes wild actually like the super children thing…. delicious little backstory. plus peep the others there too

- awwwwww they’re so cute. not ready for the pain that’s coming. obsessed with this cute lil song playing like we switched genres for a sec here

- vroom vroom mf making it sound like the pits of hell up in here. i would. need my noise blockers

- wait whose dean did we meet him yet. is this the one yall shipping with winner

- obsessed with jeff and how he moves through the world like a prey animal

- oh here’s pete. here’s the poor little meow meow ig

- they got sponsored time to go crazy on those chicken nugggies

- help winner being a loser again. kim needs to knock some sense into him or something. NOT HIM SUGGESTING SABOTAGE THEN GOING “ oopsie 🤪” djjdjdjdjdjdjdj

- is one of them an omega and can it be kim and jeff

- tony eating his evil little treats, unfortunately a slay

- here we go the famed milk placement

- not charlie in his casuals with that big ass watch who is this kid. also babe sleeping …. i need to do atrocious things to this man

- it’s such a brave choice having a digital clock as a prop

- what did way see… i think way is one third wheeling moment away from exploding

- ooo is way mind controlling rn… that felt strange

- he plays car video games it’s his special interest

- oh shit this kinda making me sweaty

- i get babe if i try to focus without listening to my tunes i lose my fucking mind

- can someone deck winner oh here we go pfjdjejrjrbd winner stumbking this clown can’t even end the fight ejejdj

this ep was my fav so far feels like we’re settling into the rhythm of the world and also descending into chaos, fun

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Part of the Furniture" Episode Followup, Part 1

Surprisingly, this will not be an 11-minute furniture store commercial under the guise of an Odd Squad episode. This is, in fact, a British phase meaning "a person or thing that has been somewhere so long as to seem a permanent, unquestioned, or invisible feature of the landscape."

So in other words...maybe they won't treat Orli as new despite only be- ah fuck it who am I kidding. They will. I've seen the synopsis. They will.

Below the break.

They're staring into my soul.

I Don't Like That™.

Oh, a Gemma episode!

...Oh, a Gemma episode.

Okay, well...I'm fairly neutral on her, so I'm going to very much approach this with caution. Though given the complaints I've seen lodged against Opie, something tells me I won't like this episode if she's a prominent spearhead in it.

Did...did she say "Timekeep Terry" or am I tripping???

Again, I am forced to bring up how we've already gotten lore of the Odd Squad Timekeepers and how we're just yo'ing that right out the window.

...No, actually, lemme set that aside to ask why we have some random-ass dude watching the bullpen from what has to be his home and say that if that's not Timekeep Terry then we've reached "FUCK NO" levels of creepiness.

Look, I'm a fan of the show. I'm not hackin' into webcams to watch children in suits go about their day at work. That's a hell and a no.

"Well, she's definitely part of the furniture now."

Sigh...not even past the opening credits and we're already getting a title drop taken literally. Like it's taunting non-British people who don't know what the phrase means.

But the Internet exists. All I had to do was type in "part of the furniture meaning" and get an (non-AI-generated! human!) answer. Millions of people will do the same thing.

So to you I say: piss off. And I'm not talking about peeing.

(Yes, I know Orli then asks what it means. Point still applies.)

Okay...so we have Bunny Society, Kitten Society...can we get a Puppy Society to complete the trifecta?

hanggliding society

odd squad has hanggliders

Skill issue, charged by jealousy.

"...and the Odd Squad Band. I play trombone."

Somewhere, Olympia is biting the fuck out of a handkerchief and crying waterfalls. (Hey, if her dream of joining the Odd Squad Chorus was shot down and later revived...)

"Sounds like you have trouble saying 'no' to things."

Oh. Joy. "Olympia's Day" without the wild and crazy hallucinations and the sanity slippage and the mathness. So you sucked all the damn fun outta it because that was the cherry on top of a fantastic episode.

*slow clapping while I melt into a puddle*

New headcanon: since Alexander, and by extension Orwell, have limps, he uses his shared ability as a way to get around easier, scaring people be damned.

Headcanon accepted.

Oh, that is Timekeep...er...Time-Beat Terry!

Okay, good. Thank God. For a second there I thought I was gonna have to yo Gemma aside and give her a smack or two.

"Nice agent, not-nice agent" is like PBS Kids execs noticing Otto and Olive namedropping "good cop, bad cop" and saying "GOD no, not in your ass's lifetime" and preschool-fying it.

It's not quirky. It's not funny. It's not cute. Just say it normally. No one will care.

"It's when one of us acts like the villain's best friend, and the other one's really grumpy."

Okay, she's in the Department of Help so I can give her a pass on not knowing what it means, but this is very clearly explaining something to the audience that can watch a Season 1 episode and get the gist of without having it explained to them.

DeWitt, Schmid, and everyone else...what are you DOING.

"Yes, except it doesn't work with just one agent!"

Okay, but...there are other tactics. May I point to Otto in "By the Book" for more information?

Ah, so we have the UK's answer to the US's and Canada's cantaloupe.

I mean...would have been nice if they stuck with the cantaloupe, but we got a whole episode about that and the rehash line has to be drawn somewhere.

And speaking of cantaloupes...exactly how big is Orli's Headquarters, made of two agents, that it needs a cantaloupe to power it? It's a dark cave behind a waterfall. You're better off with flashlights!

Sev- I'm sorry, several times a day? The fuck are they doing to the thing that it needs replacing several times a day???

God, the power bill would choke half of America.

Hehe finale foreshadowing hehe you're not slick hehe bite my ass.

...wait waIT WAIT I MENTIONED "BY THE BOOK" HALFHEARTEDLY I DIDN'T THINK THE MATH MORAL WOULD ACTUALLY RIP FROM IT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI-

"Did you forget?"

"Like I have memory loss?"

"...Look, I've had that happen to friends. Children who-"

"No, I didn't forget, Orwell. Go to your appointment."

Ahhh, so it's Time Thief Terry. Okay, that makes sense.

Doesn't excuse the fact that they won't mesh him in with current lore...but it makes sense.

*long deep sigh as seren unzips her chest, takes out her heart, and slams it on the table*

I can't keep doing this. Between Wonderful Precure and Odd Squad UK, I'M GONNA DIE.

"And thanks again for volunteering to bring the juice boxes this week."

Oh, if these were alcoholic, there would be so many comments I could make here.

Ah, and there's the Big Ben mention. Honestly, like the Doctor Who reference, it had to happen eventually.

Honestly, I actually thought for a half-second Ozzie would play bad cop. But then I realized he likes helping people and he's too nice for bad cop.

Orli, on the other hand, will snap Terry like a twig and tear right into him like a Nintendo 64 on Crimmis. And there's about a 20/80 chance of that happening.

Bringing "nice agent, not-nice agent" up once was irritating.

Bringing it up twice makes me want to strangle...a tree.

Bringing it up any more will cause me to go after fences next. And my ass can shred a fence.

Say it properly, Gemma. Stop PBS-Kids-fying it.

Hearing the word "roleplay" in any piece of Odd Squad media is some kind of sin, right next to "cosplay".

A piece of me just died.

Don't be stupid. Don't be stu- ah FUCK they're gonna make her stupid, aren't they.

FUCK your culinary biology. All my homes HATE your culinary biology.

All the videos of people putting rubber bands around watermelons and then them exploding? LOL FAKE NO. IT'S SUPPOSED TO DEFLATE HEHEHE.

See, the more I think about it, the more I have to wonder...haven't we already seen Orli say "no" in the show before? She and Olympia are vastly different and one has a clearly-defined goal in life while the other one's just...flat as a wooden board with no motive at all. If Orli had an actual motive like Olympia, this episode would be a lot better, but she doesn't, so...she doesn't.

(On to Part 2!)

[interstitties101]

Ok. Dr who The Giggle thoughts.

Things I did not like (there are a lot of them tbh but I feel like they’re p valid)

Avengers tower. Be so ffr y’all. Enough. That bothered me So Much actually cuz enough with the Whoniverse shit. The whole point of dr who is to not bandwagon and this is aggressive bandwagoning.

The ending being Neil Patrick Harris missing a catch. Like ik it’s silly bc the toymaker is silly and all that but like. Very anticlimactic.

Bi-generation. Again. Be so ffr. There are SO many problems that would cause. Ripples in time and all that. And also it just doesn’t work with the show. The whole point of the dr is that there can only be one of them - the metacrisis was crazy bc it went against all precedent but still the dr was HUMAN. The dr splitting into two versions of themselves seems like a catastrophic event for spacetime by the logic of the show but ig limits like that don’t matter anymore?? I’m really frustrated with writers trying to push the limits of the show/the character by creating totally bonkers things that end up cheapening the premise of the show. The dr is insanely powerful, yes, but they also DIE. They change. They have limits. The whole point of a tragic hero is that they CANNOT remain the same and yet they ALWAYS remain the same because they are stuck in the narrative. I enjoy the idea of the dr finally getting a break but I feel like there were other ways of doing that. Or at LEAST explain that 14 is now human or has only one lifespan or something like that as an emergency way for really-fucking-old time lords to shed some of their trauma through bi-generation without causing ripples in time. I think maybe that’s what RTD was going for? But it wasn’t explained at all and giving 14 their own tardis was crazy. Cuz now they’ve just. Brought back 10 bc they liked him, no other reason. And I LOVE David Tennant. But not like this - not as fan service that ends up scratching the integrity of the show (not that the integrity isn’t constantly being scratched but whatever). Also - part of the reason the metacrisis was so tragic was because the dr could never grow old with Rose Tyler!!!!!! Only the metacrisis dr could. It was SO tragic that 10 never got to experience that. So they should’ve made it clear that 14 was human or limited in some way so they could grow old with Donna and experience growing old with someone they love finally. That would’ve properly conveyed the beauty I think (I hope) they were going for.

Treating the show as if there are no limits takes the weight out of everything. The always-upping-the-stakes trap.

Ik I just said this but the dr should’ve regenerated INTO Ncuti Gatwa, not just bc of the aforementioned OP-ness and logiclessness of the character rn but bc Ncuti DESERVED his own thing and to be the dr fully. I don’t like that he had to share his regeneration with David Tennant. It also separated Ncuti’s doctor and dt’s doctor so they seem like different people, not the same character played by different people, and I think that’s sad. One of the special things about regeneration is that you have an image of the former dr as you discover the new one and it’s bittersweet because the old one is gone but that person is STILL the new one. And that’s very special. You carry bits of each doctor with you. That effect is somewhat lost here.

The doctor would not go mad being in one place for a human lifetime cuz he already did that many times over. Those instances were major plot points actually. Remember a town called Christmas? Trenzalore? TEN would go mad because of his personality and the fact that he was always running from his problems but the dr is a different person now. 14 is not 10. But whatever I guess.

Just bad pacing of the episode bc they were trying to cram so much stuff in (like star beast). The best ep in the specials trio was wild blue yonder for exactly this reason.

The emotional convos w Donna and the dr should’ve been longer. She was his like. Primary outlet in terms of emotional vulnerability, and he was her biggest outlet for her full bravery and intellect and potential. The quieter moments when they rely more on silence and just acting and less on swirling plot devices are what makes the characters and their dynamic really shine and I wish they’d had more of that for the finale.

I did not understand why the toymaker was limited in the way he was. If you’re an elemental entity that can play with atoms like play dough then why are you constrained to only ever play games??? Why is there only ever winners and losers???

Justice for Martha Fucking Jones. Goddamn they CONTINUE to do her so dirty. Not even a mention. Damn.

Goddamnit RTD you can write BRILLIANT normal dr who episodes but you are doing WAY too much with the big ones. Lean off the meta stuff. Ground the show back into reality (or at least some semblance of logic cuz who are we kidding here. It’s dr who). Bigger is not always better and people don’t get sick of smaller but more emotionally intense plots.

Maybe it was the pacing, maybe it was the fact that we didn’t get to see any complex emotion from 14 about retiring (in a sense), maybe it was the lack of explanation/consequences about the bi-generation, or maybe it was just the ludicrousness of bi-generation in itself, but the ending did not feel as cathartic like it was supposed to. You can’t create emotional complexity out of complex plot devices. Take a simpler thing and do more with it please (hence the success of wild blue yonder). I feel like there could’ve been a different way to handle the ending. Idk exactly how (I have some ideas brewing) but it felt… incomplete. Or just immature/rushed.

If bro is gonna retire or whatever tf, don’t leave him with a tardis??? It defeats the point???

Things I liked

NCUTI GATWA!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!! The energy he’s bringing is AMAZING and I’m so excited to see him explore the emotional depth of this character. Hats off.

BAGAHHAHAHHAHAHA THE DOCTOR IS BLACK AND GAY!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!! HES ALREADY FUCKING KILLING IT!!!!!!!

15 kissing his teeth made me SO happy. I SEE you.

I always love seeing David Tennant on screen regardless of anything else. Tbh.

14 getting a good hug from someone who literally fully understands. Even if it is themselves. What a fucking weight off.

The Toymaker’s lipsync!!!! SLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need I say more.

Having another former companion on the show :)

I really do love the idea of the doctor getting a break and hopefully shedding some of their trauma. They deserve it so much. But I’m sad again bc I feel like they didn’t have to bring dt back for that. I thought 10’s face coming back was something to do with the timelines fracturing (like they said in the comic relief thing!!) and the toymaker was related to that, and so in repairing the timelines they’d reset proper regeneration or whatever it is. (Note to self: see, that would’ve made so much more sense. The dr and Donna could’ve gotten their closure and 15 would promise to visit or smth and make random references in the next season to stopping by to say hi to Donna and catch up. Or like “you won’t BELIEVE what Donna just told me”. That’s the new reality I’m sticking with in my head. Anyway.) Like, the temporariness/transientness of 10’s face is what made it a treat! It wasn’t meant to last forever. So I loved the idea of dt’s face coming back as a form of releasing trauma and processing or whatever it was, but… the longevity didn’t fit. Sorry :(

Edit: also the dr was gay for himself. Lmao >:3 valid

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

I finished 5Ds. For real this time.

This is my third overview of this fucking show, my constant switching between loving it and hating it has been exhausting for me, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for the people reading my posts. This show actually drives me crazy, I’m convinced it hates me. But now, I’ve finally finished it and there will be no more deliberation. 5Ds is a show of incredible highs and excruciating lows. The stuff that’s really good is Yugioh at its best and the stuff that’s really bad is some of the worst shit I’ve ever seen in my life. And there’s a slew of stuff that’s in between those points. So instead of giving a definitive statement on the show overall, I'm just gonna rank its wildly ranging in quality story arcs from best to worst.

6 WRGP

*Anguished screaming* Fuck this arc. Fuck how it treated Aki, fuck how long these stupid filler duels are, fuck you for somehow making a robot apocalypse boring, fuck you for having yet another tournament arc, and most of all, fuck the dependency on accel synchro when Yusei has a fusion summon monster he could easily summon that he just doesn’t bother with after that stupid filler duel that ended on a bullshit anti climax and single-handedly killed all my good will for 5Ds with this distracting as shit plothole that didn’t need to be there at all.

5 Pre WRGP

Basically a slew of filler that for the most part, which I didn’t mind. It’s very unfocused and all over the place but the characters are fun enough to make most of the episodes enjoyable, though there are definitely some skippable clunkers in there. This arc is also oddly enough home to my favourite single episode in 5Ds: Akiza learning to Turbo duel. That had me squealing like the Aki fanboy I am. So overall it's okay.

4 Fortune Cup

Love everything that’s Aki related, Jack is fun but not quite likeable yet, and the twins are good if basic characters. The actual Fortune Cup tournament itself was when this show got good honestly. Nearly everything before that, especially the prison arc, was pretty boring. But it has a more consistent story and a good flow to it so that puts it above all that WRGP crap.

3 Ark Cradle

Yeah… There's a lot of tension to this story now that the looming threat of the destruction of the entire city is far more close to fruition and given a time limit. Plus the duels are actually really good again. They don’t go on forever and there’s like focus on the emotional bonds of the characters again??? And also the ending is really sweet and feels very conclusive for the major characters and I’m really glad I saw it despite the missteps along the way?? This arc was so refreshing.

2 Crashtown

Yes I’m counting this. It’s a mini arc all about Kalin post Dark Signers full of gay energy and healing through the power of found family! Hell yes I’m gonna eat that up like it’s candy! The Wild West aesthetic is really jarring but once you get used to it, it’s really fun and as I said, I love Kalin so getting closure on him was really nice. The harmonica is really silly though, I made fun of the harmonica a lot.

1 Dark Signers

This arc SLAPS and 5Ds peaked here The lore is super interesting, Crow, Carly, and Kalin, three of my favourite characters are all introduced here and their stories and duels are all amazing, we get Jack’s character arc and he becomes likeable. Such good stuff. My two problems with this story arc are… unfortunately big ones. The Aki’s parents two parter (full rant here: https://at.tumblr.com/overobsessedfanboy13/i-have-some-concerns-about-akis-arc/gomscjgqwg86 ) needs to burn in hell and the Devack duel is really long and really boring. Honestly though, if those two things were surgically removed (or at least rewritten), we would have a masterpiece of an arc on our hands.

-

So overall I’m just gonna say I enjoyed at least 70% of 5Ds but it’s nowhere near the best YGO series, I have no idea why it’s the fan favourite. It’s an absolutely inconsistent mess of a show that has some really excellent shit every now and then.

[beloved-femboyish-girl]

going forward and on the OP i'll be linking more official versions of the shit on this playlist whenever possible. that said it's wild how some of these entries are delicately preserved; spotify deleted literally every ASMR i'd listened to when i first tried to do something like this (because, in actuality, this project is to get a very particular "spotify wrapped"). Anyway. let's get to the reviews for today !

ASMR Audio Roleplay - 7 Minutes In Heaven [Sub] [M4M] [Strangers To Lovers] [Kissing] [Spicy] Pt. 1 (official title: Stuck In The Closet With A Sub Shy Nerd [M4M] [7 Minutes In Heaven] [Kiss] [Spicy]) -- A. this guy doesn't miss. idk why they changed the title for these because the originals are pretty dead on. dude's got the awkward hookup with a nerd script polished as fuckkk. but the audio in the background loops and one guy is Really pissed off about nobody having cigs. unrelatedly: also there may be nsfw versions of this guys audios but ummmm they're locked behind a 36 dollar paywall. Lol!

[m4m] 1,2,3 fingers (original title unknown) -- D. "you need to take at least four fingers. thats around my girth." bro thats not in the title stop godmodding! NOT sexy. detached dom doing ERP of the same tier i was running when i was like 10. i.e. Bad. not even moaning that much.

Bratty Best Friend Wants To Experiment with You [Part 1] -- C+. M4M. whyd you brattycode this guy. bro made a blanket fort to confess. also wow one kiss in and he asks to be boyfriends?! nice cute

[NSFW] Bratty Best Friend Teases You [Part 2] -- M4M. "you really like it when i whimper" ✅ bro understood the assignment. B-, i think it's cloying and slow at the start - "i'm getting hard. from the way that you fuck me" - bro is yapping in between plaps dude. he's whimpering and moaning which is better than a lot of this list but that's - god he's really really sticking to the script so hard EXCEPT for the bratty part! bro is like a 2 on the charli [[come up with better joke later come the fuck on man]] scale.

Soft Dom Butler Teaches You Swordplay [Part 1] -- F+. M4M. originally a "sultry" butler. barely even sensual. you have to really want it from the getgo to get anything out of this. the first 3/4ths... the swordfighting section is a little charged and hot..? and dudes PETTING you now? alright. no moaning or whimpering but hes getting a little sultry with it! im not even gonna lie!

[NSFW] Soft Dom Butler Pins You Down [Part 2] -- FUCK THERE'S FOUR OF THESE IN A ROW?? M4M. C. it's butler yaoi, so you may go crazy for it. but i'm not gonna raise past this letter grade unless we get either some whining or explicit swordfights.

[NSFW] Soft Dom Butler Spoils You [Part 3] -- M4M. C+. throwing a plus in because of the consistency; if you are invested at this point it'll be your shit again, probably.

[NSFW] Soft Dom Butler Teases You Outside [Part 4] -- C. youre not gonna believe it but this one's M4M. starts w/ swordfighting but the lore exposition goes from heavy to straight masturbatory. wgich is fine, whateverrr, jerk your brainstem, but boring as a listener.

Lustful Bully Teases You [Part 1] -- F. BL. bad writing. bad bullying, barely sexy.

[NSFW] Lustful Bully Spanks You [Part 4] -- this is a CHRISTMAS episode!!! so call me the god damn grinch when i fucking CANCEL CHRISTMAS!! F!!! so shit they skipped two parts!! so ass they can only make this guy say "nerd" every 10 seconds!! ive had more dominant subs!!! ive been treated worse by the nicest girls ive known!!! reeks of a writer whos never been bullied and is too unimaginative to make insults which could even possibly sting. Fuck this dude

men moaning/whimpering playlist rating

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] ("CozyCub ASMR" deleted) -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F (official audio) -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] Risky fun with Gorou behind a building [Bottom] [Blowjob] [Whimpering] [Petting] [NSFW] [Gorou x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 35:56) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ (official title: [Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ~ [Boyfriend ASMR] [Soft Voice] [Pleading]) -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks (excerpt of Ignoring your subby boyfriend until he breaks (M4A)) -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE (M and NB variants)-- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] F*cking Thoma at the Teahouse [Bottom Thoma] [Making Him Hold the Moan] [Subby Noises] [Thoma x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 29:06) -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten

PART TWO:

gr#nding against your sleepy boyfriend~ (unknown source) -- D-. doesnt understand anything sexy about the conceit. or maybe at all !

"Couldn't Sleep?" A "Cure" For Restlessness Gojo X M!Listener NSFW (F and NB variants)-- 😥 the bird one was bnha so like is this one is too whos gojo. but same as with the doggy gen-- he just said いただきます. and now a footjob is happening?? bros gagging on whoever "Listener"'s cock is tho. WONT STOP SAYING "THANK YOU FOR THE ME- HE JUST SAID IT AGAIN??? C+ for the continuously impressive voice acting but. well theres wet plapping now. but . the character acting

M4M Annoying sleep boyfriend for cuddles (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Annoying your sleepy boyfriend for cuddles! [ASMR] [BL]) -- bold decision to take on the persona of "annoying". aww no ones gonna hurt you youre with your boYfriEnd. hes not whimpering. D for this list purposes but its fine

M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy to sleep (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy :) [ASMR] [SFW] [LittleSpace]) -- D for no whimpering or moaning. "aww. you havent regressed in a while? do you want to?" "oh i got you some Little stuff. you know for when you're in Little space. wait typing that out made me realize the little in the title was referring to that. anyway its fine this is what i imagine asmrs target audience is anyway

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: CEO Dominates you (CEO X Listener) [Slight NSFW] (official title: [BAD BOY ASMR] Mafia Boss x Listener. After Shower With Your Yandere Boyfriend!?[Spicy]) -- "[...] cum founder" still slow at 2.5x speed but only 16 minutes long. C-. character work is schlocky stock romance but soo reserved. but i guess theres moaning.

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: Sadistic Vampire Talks with you (Noble Vampire X Vampire Hunter Listener) [NSFW?] P.2 (official title: [DOM VAMPIRE ASMR] Vampire x Listener. Sadistic Kisses, Delicate Bites!?[Spicy]) -- C shallow world relying on slow brooding but can i just say the description on this one is wild. "- hold on bro is chowing down so ill bump it a lil. anyway "I hope I have the right audio. I haven't listened to the entire thing." bro?? am i the only one here wh

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Forces Cuddles on the Bus (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.2 (original deleted?)-- B this dude is so fucking funny. "whatya listening to. probably some gay shit. *sharp nostril exhale* now be a good little nerd and give me your homework. your lunchmoney too. I WONDER HOW YOU ARE IN BED? YOURE PROBABLY FUCKING GREAT" YESSS. wet gooping sounds happening now with little discernable - oh we're cocksucking this guy ok alright. you put your gay earbuds in and start listening to music at the last 30 seconds. Wow.

Cum in 10 minutes -- F this is binaural beats shit and did NOT cum

Whispering Slurs Asmr -- F. heres an excerpt from the artist's bio: "As a performer, I do not actually agree with anything this anti-social character spews out of his mouth. I will need to be careful what I say because I could be feeding into people’s deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotry. I pray that I do not unintentionally enable a bunch of bad people who resent a changing world."

Taking Care of Your Drunk Boyfriend (unknown source)-- C+. bros whimpering and moaning when he Should be throwing up !!!

PART 3:

alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt

[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.

Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] (official audio)-- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...

"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW (F and NB variants) -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 (original deleted?) -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.

ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 (official title: You're A Good Boy To Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy]) -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!

[M4M] [NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.

Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain

[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M (OP deleted) -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.

ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine

ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] (excerpt?) -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!

see u 2morrow for the next ten!

[metalandmagi]

Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel. 

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find. 

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode. 

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me. 

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out. 

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour) 

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori. 

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

[machinegunbun]

concept: so i know we think of colson as this really rough guy when it comes to sex, but what about soft!dom col where he's strict but caring, and maybe the reader even has a bit of a praise kink. ❤❤

Omg yess

word count: 1.3k

A/N: sorry theres not a lot of smut, my brain got to wandering and I didn't feel the horniest so maybe pt.2? tons of fluff tho and its good to be back :)

Okay, so.

I'm thinking maybe reader has a past that left them uncomfortable with intimacy, whether from a relationship or otherwise. They're still super into freaky shit, but they need to feel comfortable first.

Does that make sense? Like, they need that safety blanket there first.

So obviously at first meeting Colson was scary, because to an outsider (especially early kells) he's this chaotic, sex machine.

It's clear to everyone that Reader is obviously attracted to him, and they are. They love the idea of doing all this kinky stuff with him, and at first Colson being Colson comes on kinda strong with the flirting, which makes them a little nervous to pursue anything.

But, one day, reader is hanging out with the gang (I imagine she's friends with Ashley [ that is his assistants name, right? God, it's been so long ] ) Maybe they're at a restaurant, nothing fancy just something where you seat yourself, and everyone squeezes into a booth, deliberately leaving no room for Colson and Reader, pointing to a two seater across the way.

You sit just far enough away from the group that you're out of earshot, and you can see them peeking the heads up and around the booth to try and catch a glimpse of what you're saying.

It's awkward at first, you're expecting him to drop some flirtatious joke that makes you choke on your drink, but instead he asks you how you met (whoever you're connected to in the group.) You tell him the story and return the question. He opens up about the fact that they're a day one, and even tells you about some of the stuff they went through together, good and bad. It's the first time you'd seen Colson not crazy or off something. He wasn't kicking out a windshield or hanging from the roof by a metal beam, he just was.

It was then that you realized the difference between MGK and Colson baker, and that before today at this restaurant you'd never met the latter.

Colson was able to express himself a lot better than MGK ever seemed to, at least when it came to you. He inquired a lot about you as a person, but the moment was ruined when you were in the midst of exchanging deep personal stories and Rook shot his straw wrapper at Colson and it bounced off his forehead and into his drink. Colson stood to return the favor, his story completely abandoned.

You didn't get a chance to speak to him like that again until two weeks later, when you met up once again in his hotel room. You were both sat on his bed watching spongebob, waiting for Rook, Slim and Baze to return with the bucket of ice. It wasn't a secret to anyone what they were doing, it didn't take three grown men to find an ice machine.

You didn't mind though.

Colson made you a little less nervous now that you'd seen him as someone other than the party animal you'd come accustomed to on stage. He was actually pretty cool, and really funny when he wasn't stressing you out with his antics.

When you asked him if he would finish his story for you he looked surprised.

"Oh, wow. You remember that?"

"Yeah, of course I do. It feels like the first time I ever really got to talk to you." He seemed uncomfortable at first, but continued with his story nonetheless.

The conversation flowed effortlessly until you began talking about how you always found Colson so interesting. He did things that terrified you like they were nothing. You admired his grab life by the balls attitude, and somewhere along the way of your ranting you opened up about how nervous intimacy made you. How most of the time the only way you could ever get off was by masturbating.

You hadn't even brought it up with him in mind, but the relation clicked immediately for him.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's really nothing," you laugh nervously "I think it's just anxiety, I dunno. I'm paranoid."

"No, no. I'm sorry for the way I always talk about you— To you." he corrected "I never realized it made you uncomfortable. You always seemed into it, but I should've been more considerate and I'm sorry. I never would have— If i'd known I was making you uncomfortable—" He rambled

"Colson, it's fine." You cut him off "I mean, I am into a lot of the same stuff as you, It's just... I tend to like the concept a lot more than the reality because I am worried, and I need to feel safe before I can even consider something like that."

Colson must've really taken the conversation to heart, because he treated you a lot differently after that. When he'd heard that his loud onstage personality made you a little nervous he was sure to cool it when he was around you. He made sure to address you directly more often when you hung out in groups, whether to joke with you or as a conversation starter. He hadn't realized how uncomfortable and ostracized you'd been feeling in the group aside from your connection to it, but he was determined to change that.

It took a little bit, but eventually you really were comfortable with him, even when he was acting wild. You realized that being an anxious person and being around someone loud like him that you didn't really know was a little off-putting. Large crowds were hard enough for you, but with constant abrupt movement and noise it only worked to make you more anxious. Once you knew Colson a little better it didn't bother you as much, and he even helped you to become a little more comfortable and a little less anxious.

So when you found yourself in his hotel room once again, finishing the tail end of a family guy episode, you decided to make your move.

You weren't really sure how to start. Not with Colson.

You managed to awkwardly snuggle your way into his side, to which he gladly obliged, but you both remained silent apartment from the episode flashing on the tv. Glancing up at Colson, he stared blankly at the TV, glimpsing down to you momentarily to see what you were looking at him for. Your eyes returned to the TV soon after, your hand finding its resting spot just above his XXX tat.

You could feel Colson's chest shake softly with laughter. You tried to remember what had just happened in the show, but you were so busy anxiously devising your master plan to seduce him that you completely blanked. You could feel your heart beating in your chest. All you wanted was for him to blindfold and tie you to the bed and fucking own you. Everything about him drove you crazy. From his voice to his tats to his eyes to that fucking hair. God, you wanted nothing more than to have him between your legs while you tugged at those beautiful curls.

Your hand drifted lower, your nails scraping softly across his skin. This time he audibly chuckled.

"Are you tryna fuck me?" he asks, causing you to blush. It wasn't that you thought you were being sly, but you didn't expect to be confronted like that.

"I-"

"You're good, it's cute that you're shy, I just don't fuck with that teasing shit so, unless you wanna get yourself in trouble..." Although the words were harsh, his tone was soft. Things progressed quickly after that, your lips meeting in a heated kiss to your hands pinned above your head, his mouth moving to your neck as he whispers in your ear

"What's your safe word, princess?"

~*~*~*~

taglist

@kidtheekid

@cclynn88

@lonerlee

@madisonmgklover22

@bakedcolson

@triplexdoublex

@chokemeshaw

@myfatbottomedgirls

@friedwangsss

@rumoured-whispers

@sunflowerbebe07

@nichmeddar

[ifwebefriends]

Gravity Falls Rewatch S2E9 The Love God and S2E10 Northwest Mansion Mystery

The Love God

Oh boy if I remember correctly this is the episode where Alex wanted to put in direct LGBT rep but Disney of course said no

Well Mabel’s rainbow sweater is cool tho

Woodstock reference!!

Damn Thompson deserves better he gets treated kinda shitty

Ok how long were Wendy and Robbie together and how long have they been broken up at this point?

Dipper remembers his lesson from Boyz Crazy!!!!!

Man remember those theories that Robbie was an actual zombie? Good times

Soos and Melody are still in contact!!

“Putting a rainbow wig on a white gorilla” Alex is this an allegory for something?

Robbie’s parents seem sweet but like a little creepy

Multibear x Robbie best ship

I want to know the story behind Love God’s necklace….

who voices Love God?!

That cook does not give a fuck about anything

Tambry just leaves her phone at the restaurant???? Bro???

A couple of Sev’ral Timez members are still alive at the Woodstick festival!!

I think that Love God and the groupies were doing some very not S&P approved things in that van

“Hippie Tea” THAT TEA HAS WEED IN IT

Alexander Hamilton has entered the building y’all!

“Oh I sure hope someone didn’t die!” Okay yeah Robbie’s parents are weird

Okay Robbie and Tambry are kinda cute together ngl

Is Grunkle Stan ordained?

Northwest Mansion Mystery

Okay this is where the Pacifica sympathy really kicks in

Okay that diversity joke at the beginning is golden

Holy fuck I hate those parents I hate that bell they treat her like a goddamn animal fuck them eat the rich

Okay we’re speed running the intro that’s cool

“The used to be about history channel” OH MY GOD

Damn Dipper is savage dude

Pacifica got Dipper some drip fr

The animators went fucking wild for this episode huh? There’s some spooky shit here

Dipcifica shippers come get your crumbs

Holy shit people fucking DIED building Northwest Manor and they were still like “yeah no fuck the common folk you can’t come in” yeah fuck them eat the rich

Dipper Pines and class solidarity

“Your kind” OH FUCK THEM TO HELL

Oh yeah Pacifica’s cunt mom was like “it’s sea foam green not lake foam green change your dress” and then Pacifica wears fucking purple and she doesn’t say a word

Okay but why would they have paintings of all the awful shit the Northwest family has done it they want to seem so good?

The Northwest parents would rather let everyone else be wood forever, INCLUDING THEIR RICH BUDDIES, than have the “commoners” see them in a bad way. FUCK. THEM. EAT. THE. RICH.

“Is this bell broken?” YOU SHOUDL NOT BE USING A BELL TO CONTROL YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE A COW YOU BASTARD

I love how Grenda’s confidence won in the end

Ohhh boy apocalypse/Ford foreshadowing I’m on the edge of my seat yall

This episode was great but yeah I guess it kinda struck a nerve with me

I want a 2-hour video essay about this episode and how it correlates to Capitalism and the growing American class divide

[imreallyloveleee]

thoughts on 5x03

- this episode is a straight-up BUMMER, and it’s weird because usually when high school shows do a graduation episode there is at least some sense of optimism to it - like yes, things are changing, and in some ways that’s sad, but in other ways it’s exciting and new and right. this episode has absolutely none of that. it’s just bummer after bummer after bummer

- as such, i feel like i don’t actually have a lot to comment on? there are relatively few wild / outrageous things going on in this episode. i spent the whole episode with a pit in my stomach. it was not enjoyable to watch.

- but ok let’s start here: FP basically breaks up with Alice out of nowhere right in front of their children, lmao

- it’s incredibly strange how everyone treats JB’s videos as some sort of utterly depraved act and not just a weird thing she did to pass her free time in middle school instead of smoking cigarettes in a Wendy’s parking lot and shoplifting

- poor Jughead got flat-out rejected by his family for the 80 millionth time in his life just so they could have a dramatic scene of former Sheriff Idiot speeding away on his motorbike. god i hate FP, and the way Skeet Ulrich plays every single scene like he just found out his half-brother Jimmy will be going to prison for life if he doesn’t step up and admit he’s the one who left those drugs in the glove compartment the night they got pulled over driving home from a tense standoff over custody rights with his ex-wife

- Fangs and Sweet Pea walk at graduation as a pair, because god forbid we give one of them 5 extra seconds of screentime that might cut into Archie-staring-at-an-old-military-photo time

- when Archie stops by the army table one of the recruiters says “this is not a decision to make lightly” which wins the award for most unrealistic dialogue ever spoken on Riverdale

- still angry that Jughead just tosses his hat in the time capsule and no one even fkn blinks

- Cheryl and Toni’s breakup is just??????? 

- obviously the best thing that could have happened to Toni tho

- the scene of Archie’s confession on the bleachers really is fantastic. Veronica freaks out, Jughead looks mildly concerned, Betty’s just like “umm yeah sounds good Archie drive safe?”

- the fact that they don’t even begin to touch the Bughead fallout from 4x17 until the last 15 minutes of the episode really drives home how clear it is they just didn’t WANT to deal with it because it made no gd SENSE

- Veronica Lodge is a goddamn fucking angel, btw

- the last scene between Jug & Archie is a perfect encapsulation of what drives me fucking crazy about this show. i can see Jug having this “it doesn’t matter” reaction if the thought process underpinning it was “i’m incredibly fucking angry at you BUT i’m still processing everything and don’t know the right way to express it and also you’re going to Army to maybe die in The War so i’m just going to pretend like everything’s cool for now.” but instead of giving it any of that nuance that would make it believable, this show just plays it completely straight so we’re supposed to take it at face value that this is how Jughead feels, Best Bros Forever Bro!!!

- typing that out reminded me of one of the few highlights of this episode, which is when Reggie looks like he might go in for a kiss with Archie on the last day of school. we were so close

- the other highlight is when Penelope Blossom pops out of the bushes at graduation, but you didn’t need me to tell you that

- Betty and Jughead not talking makes me SO SAD. Jughead squatting in Archie’s house and then the fuck bunker makes me SO SAD. Jughead getting ditched at Pop’s one year later makes me SO SAD. 

- what the FUCK, riverdale

- editing to add: i guarantee no one reading this will remember, but the first few minutes of this episode start with a) FP, Jughead and Archie showing up at Hiram’s door, b) demanding he reinstate Tom Keller as sheriff so that he can c) arrest a bunch of homeless kids who have been sleeping underneath the boxing ring at Archie’s gym, which they only know about because d) these are also the kids who helped JB make her videos?

help

[purple-dragon]

i have finished code geass r2... i feel so dead inside... here are some thoughts (spoilers for the end!!)

episode 13 was straight up cruel. like i knew it was coming bc... spoilers... but i didn’t know it was coming right then and by the time i realized what was happening... hm. all i have to say is i love shirley. she deserved so much better than what she got. 

that being said, i still adore rolo. he’s a murderbrat and i love him. like i said in my last post, in a happier world, lelouch has two younger siblings, as a treat. 

i also appreciate just how fast they get rid of V.V. like the series kinda sets him up to be the ultimate big bad, manipulator from the shadows, puppetmaster kind of guy but then he just. dies. halfway through the season to make room for the more prominent plot and idk i just liked that 

speaking of big bads, it was kinda wild how the villain flipped from V.V to charles and marianne to schneizel over the course of like... 6 episodes. absolutely wild. bonkers. 

i don’t have a lot to say about charles and marianne bc i was spoiled on that plot point, but i did kind of feel like it was nge 2.0. like when are we all turning into fanta? 

i’ll get to schneizel. eventually. 

C.C. losing and regaining her memory was an interesting plot point that really went nowhere, i think, other than to reveal the fact that marianne wasn’t dead. i feel like they could have done so much more with it but it was just... fanservice. 

i really ended up appreciating nina and jeremiah a lot more as well. for nina, her development from simp to rage machine crazy scientist to someone comprehending the consequences of her actions was honestly great, ngl. it did a lot to flesh her out from the first season and even if she is kinda hot garbage still... i appreciate her. jeremiah just immediately switches sides bc he’s simping for marianne and honestly i think that’s hilarious. also the orange jokes go strong and i love that for him 

on the other hand, my opinion of ohgi and nunnally really lowered. i’ll start with ohgi. 

this man is literally the most average person alive, bland af, actually kind of a garbage leader, and yet he’s the first to betray lelouch. like bro what? you’re really just going to do that without questioning that information? this is what lust love made you? you’re just going to be like ‘oh my enemy just told me my commander might have brainwashed me into following him, let me just try to kill my commander without even trying to ascertain the truth’ like bro what?????? why do you suck so hard? 

i wanted to hold off on judging nunnally in my last post because i wasn’t sure if i just hadn’t seen her plan to reconnect with lelouch yet but now i’m even more certain about my hot take on her. nunnally sucks. fuck nunnally, all my homies hate nunnally. this girl did not even try to find lelouch even when she became the viceroy and had actual power. she did not give two shits about the brother who practically raised her and took care of her for almost half of her life. and then schneizel barely even tries to manipulate her and she’s like ‘yeah fuck lelouch he sucks’ like girl what???? you’re just going to accept that? not even have a conversation with lelouch about idk, productive ways to end things? instead of being like ‘lelouch you’re my enemy now’????????????? hello??? like girl if my sibling ever killed someone i would simply help them hide the body. if they became a dictator i would simply be at their side. rip to nunnally but i’m different. 

anyway. all of ep 19 i was sitting there thinking ‘this is so cruel wtf? why would you do this?’ 

literally why did no one even try questioning schneizel? he was everyone’s enemy all along and the minute he’s like ‘uH aCKshuAllY leLOuchE Is tHe eNeMY’ everyone believes him immediately i simply do not understand 

suzaku and lelouch... i appreciate how the ending made them even more similar to each other. i’m not convinced that they actually became friends again (but deep inside i hope they did) but i appreciate how at the end, the way that they’re both massively fucked up hypocrites is clear. i love them so much. zero requiem hurt me i am in pain

for some reason, i feel the urge to watch evangelion again... anyway overall code geass is a 9/10 for me and def one of my faves now. 

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[tsuki-sennin]

Y'know our Revice discussion yesterday might've been cancelled, but there's always time and more careful planning, more importantly, for Momo Monday~! Mugen matsuri da ze! Zenryoku Zenkai~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh, no recap this time?

-OH GAIM HE STRAIGHT UP DECKED HER GSSHG

-Tsubasa time!

-Dog man's got parkour.

-Oh crap, he dropped the shades.

-I guess one of the policemen will pick 'em up and become a target for the Anoni?

-"Who is the bird man and the pupper?" Haruka Kito wonders.

-WHOA HEY DON'T GRAB HER LIKE THAT

-DUDE WHAT

-SHE'S 17 WHAT THE HELL MAN

-I know you're trying to bullshit your way out, but what the hell

-Ah, you need life experience, huh? Just like all the best manga authors.

-Seein' movies, drinkin' tea, shootin' guns... getting very justified looks, because c'mon, please drop this

-Oh, Tsuyoshi! My man! Please, make this less uncomfortable.

-"Hmmm... this weird, shifty guy dressed in leather seems kind of familiar..."

-Remember This Face

-HARUKA C'MON EVEN TSUYOSHI KNOWS THIS SHIT'S FUCKED

-Yes, that's a very good idea, call the police!

-...er uh, wait no don't, he's important!

-HARUKA WHAT

-HELLO LHJ:GLHJ????

-"This guy is a master fugitive who probably killed like fifty bajillion people and I'm a terrified bird man!"

-Doggy bought you a treat!

-Bread! Like Aozora City Premium Tropical Melon Bread? I've always wanted to eat this kind of fancy sweet stuff.

-...by itself, huh?

-RUN BIRD MAN

-Oh, we're free to go.

-HARUKA-

-YOU CRAZY

-It's pretty crazy how you ran into two infamous figures all in the same day, huh buddy?

-Both framed for crimes uncommitted...

-MOMOI-SAN!?

-I love how Taro's just like "Oh, it's you all. ...and this random dog-like leather guy I don't know.

-Oh, a purse snatcher! Aaaaaand a cop Hitotsu-Ki! Keisatsu-Ki! As the case may be.

-Monke Time

-YOU ATE SOMEONE'S DELIVERY YOU MONSTER

-Funny Peach Man is very angry.

-Well at least you're not in jail.

-It's funny because "mongrel" means "doge".

-Is Sayama our oni cop?

-Trapped between a rock and a hard place, huh Tsubasa?

-Sayama gives big

Sayama: "Hey, civvie, get back it's dangerous!" Shinichi: "No, allow me, please~!" Sayama: "The hell are you doing-!?" Shinichi: "This a message for the criminal dirt bag named Tsubasa Inuzuka! ...you can change, bestie, and I love you :)"

HARUKA NOOOOOOOOO PHAIJHKHJHJKHLKLLKJHJKLHKJLL

-I'm sorry, this episode.

-This episode is really fucking funny I stg

-Inoue, are you trying to kill me?

-"...oh hi, Haiku Man :)"

-The gang's all here! And exactly as chaotic together as they are apart, like any good group chat.

-Aw, he's also got a lady in her life.

-Like a stray dog. He's rough and wild on the surface, but he's a good boy at heart.

-He doesn't even understand his own happiness... :(

-Oh, happy birthday! ...happy... 3rd of the month.

-NOBODY EVEN CAME TO TARO'S BIRTHDAY WHAT THE HELL

-They're all having cake together :)

-Goddamn, this is actually really touching, what the hell, why do I love this cast so much.

-OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT THE COPS

-NOOOO TSUYOSHI

-DEATH PENALTY

-AHKAB. All Hitotsu-KI Are Bastards.

-OHHH HE GOT WARPED

-Wan-derful~!

-Awoooooo~!

-Saruhara, it's not haiku time!

-Lot of call backs to... the previous scene lol

-...oh yeah, there wasn't a Ryusoul Yellow. Ohhh, right, they can only become their respective colors. That makes a lot of sense, actually. Well, I guess that means Tsuyoshi's on some king shit forever and ever!

-Don Momotaro! ...since you're here, I have a question. If you were to use the Shinkenger Gear, could you like... pick between Takeru and Kaoru's looks? I mean, I know Toei would make you become Takeru regardless, but this question is important to me.

-PARTY TIME~!

-WITH THE GODDAMN AIRHORN

-He can do that?

-I mean, I guess there's nothing saying he couldn't! But just... doing that feels kinda weird.

-Oh Zyuran... how I miss you. But I promise I'm having a great time with these clowns too!

-Man, Donbura Cafe's like... exactly where Colorful is in Zenkaitopia.

-I see... so, Don Kaito's Sentai Gears become Avataro Gears as more and more Hitotsu-Ki are defeated. ...I realize this was probably shown in one of the previous episodes, but I swear, the way it was shot kinda led me to believe that they just spawn commanded in.

-Tasty Coffee :)

-Momoi Tarou's not a complete whackadoo! :)

-THE SONOS MURDERED THE MONA LISA

-Ohhhhhhhh, Tsuyoshi's fightin'!

-Go for it, Tsuyoshi! Do your wifey proud!

-Man, this series is awesome I can't wait to see more!

[tomb-bloom-noctem]

Were there any episodes in season 3 where you felt they could've been written better? I'm only asking because I had some ideas I wanted to share with people about fixing them since, to me, the season started becoming a mess around The Phantom and the Sorceress. And the episodes don't need to be outright bad, there could just be parts in it you didn't like.

Oof. I've been a bit loud and obnoxious about certain episodes for sure 😅 I'll try to briefly sum up a few.

Also I'm just gonna say, some of these are just I don't like what they did rather than any huge fundamental problems like the finale.

Also disclaimer. This is not an attack on anyone who likes these episodes! Nobody has to agree with me! If you like these episodes cool! Glad you got something out of it! This is just Tombs being a nit pick loud mouth.

Rumble for Ragnarok

I can't complain too much about this one as it was still entertaining. Norse is part of my heritage and I'm a fan of the mythology which was on full display this episode. My only real issue this episode is that the message gets a little lost at least on me. And then two is I think out of all the episodes this one is the one that could absolutely be thrown out without losing anything really important. Trade this episode for something different. Something more important.

The Forbidden Fountain of the Forever Glades

Scrooge's behavior and leaving Webby in the jungle was painful to watch. (Much as I don't like the finale twist, the twist actually makes this episode worse.) [Also so much for Goldie's "fresh start" when in Split Sword of Swanstitine later showed she once again attempted to double cross Scrooge. Yeah. Fresh start. Totallyyyy.] Goldie is a fun character and I can't hate her too much. The episode has its merits and definitely still think this episode should be around but Scrooge's behavior here really kills me. Thankfully at the end he does better but ugh. It's low on the overall ranking for me based on how he behaves and treats Webby.

New Gods on the Block

I actually really love this episode but Storkules was pissing me off too much 😂 Nit pick for sure. I love this himbo but got dangit he was making me so mad. I get it was kinda important for the overall plot but come on we got so little Donsy content that it was frustrating that he was so intrusive.

The First Adventure

Nit picking again. I think it's kinda random how in the span of a few hours a hard ass like Scrooge went from "my obnoxious niece and nephew" to "my heirs and beloved family." I guess it's possible but not a fan of that kind of writing. For me it would make more sense that they had several adventures or at least more time with them before they became "his heirs" in his eyes. Extreme nit picking on my part though, the episode isn't bad at all really. Also no Hortense and Quackmore. Yes they were named. (Or she was) No we never got to see them. Rude! This was actually a really good episode though overall again I just have some minor nit picks.

The Fight for Castle McDuck

Okay this one is also kind of a nit pick but it's more like based on the episode's timing. I think it is absolutely ridiculous that Webby "Knower of all things Clan McDuck" has no idea that a family of Scots fights a lot. I can somewhat forgive it though as she's young and isn't as familiar with this side of the family in the flesh. But it's so weird how this late into the show we're seeing this?? I think I would have liked this episode more if it had popped up earlier into season 3 rather than so late? It just was a kinda weird episode and not the most enjoyable but the timing I think made it worse. Also the no mention of Hortense again. Referring to Matilda as the youngest when that's supposed to be Hortense? It's really not the worst episode. It just feels a bit off to me and again to me mostly the timing of it. Could have been better, could have been worse.

How Santa Stole Christmas

THROW THIS EPISODE INTO THE FUCKING GARBAGE. HATE HATE HATE IT. THIS ONE ACTUALLY MAKES ME RAGE.

This episode is actually worse for me than the finale. Literally I consider this episode the worst in the series. I just hate it!!!

I hate that this episode was about Scrooge and Santa. I really don't give a fuck why Scrooge hates Santa and this story in no way compelled me. (Also why was Scrooge and Santa's dialog weirdly shippy??? Thanks to this episode got another huge NOtp, "scranta" is gross, sorry, hate it. Absolutely cannot board that ship at all, I have the tag blocked.) I see absolutely no reason why this was the story we got when there was literally an option to follow up The Last Christmas now that Della was finally home????? MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!! I hate the weird crazy ass capitalist message going on throughout the episode, I get Scrooge is a capitalist himself but he didn't change from this episode? He walked away from Jennifer's obvious poverty life and went "ah as long as she's happy" instead of I don't know, maybe a message about helping the less fortunate??

Look maybe I'm just bitter from my own life. I've lived in extreme poverty my whole life. My parents home has literally looked so much liked the ruined place Jennifer lived in during the episode. And I live in Alaska so I KNOW COLD. I know how it feels to go cold for days on end, no food, no water, nothing. Extreme poverty. Scrooge could have done something. He wasn't like Donald who doesn't have much either. He's a freaking billionaire. He could have helped. And instead the message he walked away with is "if you're happy life is fine" or something. Whatever the message that was supposed to be from this episode is completely lost on me because all I see is a miserable rich old miser who hates letting kids have fun and won't help someone in need. Absolute garbage episode. I really wish they had instead just followed up on The Last Christmas. Or had some kind of family centric episode at least! I seriously fucking hate this episode so much. I would legit erase this episode if I could it is the WORST.

The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker

Nit pick again. Didn't love what they did with Kit. Okay I get the idea he grew up to idolize Baloo so he turned out more like him. It...wasn't great. Didn't like that much at all. Felt like they just tried to shove Kit into a DT87/DWD Launchpad mold. I didn't love that Baloo and Kit's relationship was mentioned weirdly casually? Like Kit called himself Baloo's sidekick??? Except in Talespin Kit calls him Papa Bear??? Also great, got another tag to block from this episode, the delkit ship. Not a fan, thanks.

Kinda weird for me with this episode I didn't really catch the meaning of it. To me it felt like the message was "defy expectations...by meeting them." It didn't really click and I kinda hated it for that plus the weird characterization of Kit. Actually I was on Twitter and someone was complaining about this episode and I responded in agreement and then FRANK REPLIED TO US 😅😅😅. Frank explained that the point was more of "if you're good at something, don't give it up" rather than "you can do anything you set your mind to" type message that appears a lot in kids media. (Also Frank please don't look at me when I'm criticizing the show 😂😂😂😂😭 I promise overall I do love it I'm just a loud mouth when I don't like something some times 😅)

After Frank explained that it did click a little better and I can see the message a bit more clearly. But I'm still not really in love with this episode like I wanted to be. I freaking love Talespin so that was a bummer. But as I've said a dozen times. I'm mostly nit picking my personal opinion.

The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck

Another one I wanted to like more than I actually did. And mostly this boils down to Louie having to apologize to Doofus when Doofus is the one who's like some wild sociopath or something. I get it Louie hasn't been completely innocent towards Doofus. He did try to use him and con him but Doofus flat out has tried to hold him captive and torture and even kill him. Doofus' sins outweigh Louie's. Louie having to apologize to prevent the tension and all just...feels like victim blaming? This one is harder for me to describe why I don't like it and I think others have explained it better than me. I think it could have been better if Louie AND Doofus both apologized and agreed to start over and let what happened between them before be water under the bridge. At least this way they're equals? Maybe it wouldn't have been the best fix but I feel it would have been better than Canon. This one I don't want to call a nit pick. This one feels like there is something fundamentally wrong with it but I struggle to explain. Mostly other than that though I think the episode was fine. A little weird that the karma court scale needed to be told the villains hearts rather than able to just know them (mostly looking at the Ma Beagle one here) but that part is more nit pick.

And finally...The Last Adventure

I have things I love about it. The individual character moments. The references and call backs. The music. This finale was clearly made with love and care.

But that damn Webby clone daughter thing twist changes things. I know some people say it doesn't but to me it does! I feel it messed with the family dynamic and the characters in a needless way. I feel it didn't add anything to but rather did take away from. I don't wanna say too much on it as there's already been so much talk on it so in keeping it brief- not a fan, didn't like, why the hell, no.

The thing with Bradford kinda threw me off too. His logic and insistence on not being a villain made him so interesting. He was truly a villain to rival Scrooge. Then in my opinion he was pushed into a weird middle ground. He didn't feel like he completely abandoned what he previously stood on but also didn't go full villain either? I get a villain like Bradford isn't easy. The writers have to truly bring their all for someone like him. But Bradford suddenly getting armor and the Split Sword and becoming a battling giant was kinda ????? inducing. Threw me for a bit of a loop. I probably need to watch this episode a few more times before I finally settle on where I sit with the Bradford thing but at least at this time I just feel kinda mixed on it. Maybe I missed something there.

Other nit picks from the finale. Donald's writing was a little weird, he sounded like he was going on vacation but then Della said he was moving out and Donald talked like "well you have the boys and Uncle Scrooge..." it just really sounds like he's leaving the family?????????? Especially at a time like this? Rude! I mean yes somebody please get this man a vacation but the writing here left me kinda confused and there is no reason Donald would ever just leave and act like "oh well their mom is back so my work here is done." Nope. DADnald for life.

Lena and Webby never getting shown to have made up after their fight. I imagine the giving June and May the friendship bracelets kinda implies it but come on. Even just a hug would have been good. Also...why are they giving up their friendship bracelets??? Confused, not a fan.

And also...in addition to the Clone twist, I really don't love that April, May, and June were all clones instead of Daisy's nieces. I really wanted to get to see them in the show and now I just feel like thanks I hate it! I admire the guts to make a twist like this and all but I really hate it.

Overall please let me say I LOVE Ducktales. The show as a whole to me is a huge important thing I love. This isn't an attack on anyone who likes these episodes. I am just once again being loud and obnoxious with my own opinions and nit picks and things I just would have liked to see or not see.

no idea if any of this rambling answers your question Anon but here you go. Hope it works.

[anonil88]

Pissed my entire lovecraft country episode 7 liveblog got deleted fuck. But imma try to summarize my thoughts.

My favorite episode of the season so far !

Dee is a badass just like her mom and dad and no matter what happens next episode that lil girl is amazing. She got snaps and claps from me for beating the jiggaboos ass and correcting those crooked ass cops.

"Hippolyta is greek assholes."

Christina and Tic are like Cain and Able. So it makes sense why Christina is so cold, if she cared about anyone but herself she would not be as motivated towards her goal of immortality or ascending magical heights. Because then she would have something/someone who she would have to consider in her decision. Tic is is similar in this way but its the reverse for him. Cousins not brothers but similar.

But lil miss Christina apparently got feeling strong as hell to subject herself to Emmet Tills exact death just so she can have some semblance of the pain it feels when black people look a member of the community so violently.

Ruby finally told Leti she is fucking her enemy. The pipe too good and honey pit too sweet to stop now lmfao.

Ruby had me wanting to cry though before and when that cop pulled up. William/Christina had to be like get off my woman. Which they are bold as hell being so publicly open in an interracial relationship.

That sex scene though:

We finally have seen the transformation from black to white to black Ruby and I wanna say the effects team brava.

The conversation they had about Christina feeling nothing toward's Emmets death anf not caring about anyone else is so crazy good. Everything Ruby said is exactly what it feels like dating a white person as a black person. You want them to relate and be sympathetic but they never will fully understand unless they go through it together. Which as I pointed to she did that.

Ruby is selfish, glad Christina pointed that out so bluntly, cause Ruby did not need to go to Christina after that funeral but she did. Cause she wanted some passionate, some strings, dick to numb her feelings.

I love how everyone could tell Leti was pregnant on Tics side, like pregnancy smelling noses.

Leti and Jiah that table conversation was tense as fuck. Tic is a p.o.s for how he treated Ji-ah and is treating Leti. Learn how to fucking communicate sir. He threw Ji-Ah out of that house like it was his but he don't pay no bills. Thats Leticia fucking Lewis' house. Ji-Ah was trying to help him and he was too dense and dumb to see she loves him.

Wild, that Tic saw the future and his sons book also i appreciate them tying the source material to the show in that way.

Montrose is actually being a good dad which is strange for me, but he never cheated on Tics momma. Also he is helping Tic use magic and is willing to sacrifice himself, there is so much about him that Atticus obviously doesn't know. Which is so sad.

That protection spell on Tic mirrored with the one Christina put on Leti and the baby. Which probably means something.

As I said in my original liveblog the Bible is a book of magic, spells, and faith in ways that people fail to see.

I found it funny that they gave Christina all the pieces she needed and she didn't even force their hands or coerce them, she just left the door open for communication. Which is something they all could learn.

Fuck these cops, fuck all of them. That mark of Cain (which is clever) came in handy completely. I wonder how Christina would react if Ruby had died. Yaknow what no i don't she a lil too powerful and bold for that.

Entirely and completely fuck that chief or sheriff or whatever the fuck he was. Nasty add spit.

So glad shoggoth puppy ripped him and all his goons to fucking shreds.

Speaking of which shoggoth puppy!!! What should we name him, im thinking shogo or crafty.

Does anyone know the significance of the lights being turned off in their town that night?

Next episode preview thoughts: I fucking love this show and I need more like it. Next episode looks wild. Leti is being all protective of her big sister because Christina and Ruby said:

And Montrose is playing captain save a legacy. I need more shows like this with black people ugh I feel so seen as a nerdy black person. Books are great but we shouldn't just be shoved into words without pictures and never seeing ourselves in realities we could only imagine.

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 6 Spoilers

No really, spoilers. 

Previously on Wandavision — Wanda told SWORD to shove their drones right straight up their asses, Vision woke up to the reality that his utopian sitcom life was in fact a dystopian hellscape, their children were extremely creepy, and Agnes was being bizarre as hell and super sus. In the real world, Acting Director Dick was a dick, and Darcy and Jimmy welcomed Monica into their sciencey weird-crime-fighting team. Monica also mentioned an aerospace engineer she knows, which some suggest may be the first mention of Reed Richards in the MCU. I have conflicted feelings about the Fantastic Four. Mostly I never liked them. But, I'm open to revising my opinion.

Oh, and also X-Men 'Verse Pietro showed up suddenly and that was fun.

Anyway. the roommate and I tried to sort out a timeline — so Monica unBlips and goes back to work at SWORD three weeks later. AD Dick tells us Wanda stole Vision's body nine days previously. That means, just three weeks ago Wanda was in the middle of a battle, lost her boyfriend, was Snapped, was then unsnapped to fall right into the middle of another battle. Lost THREE additional teammates. And then sometime in the following week found out a shady government agency had Vision's body and she probably went "OH HELL NO". Because that's what I would say. So she goes to SWORD, dents a few doors, takes Vision's body and swans off to New Jersey. Look, she's been through a hell of a lot in the last couple weeks, is what I'm saying. I don't blame her a tiny bit. But, also, I don't think she's entirely behind this.

10-year old boy plus video camera = the 90s. Obnoxious opening credits. But, you know, I kind of liked them (as a one off). WAYYY better than last week's.

It's Halloween, and *sigh* Billy is breaking the fourth wall and narrating to the camera. There's childish twin bickering as you expect, Tommy's the wild and crazy twin, and Billy's the buttoned up twin. And Pietro is passed out on the couch at 4 in the afternoon. Living his best life. He teasingly scares the boys, chases them around, and there's awkward child acting.

Wanda comes down the stairs in the classic Scarlet Witch costume, and says she's a Sokovian Fortune Teller. Sokovia was more wild than I realized.

Genuinely funny flashback to Wanda and Pietro trick-or-treating in Sokovia as kids, 'the year we got typhus'. lol. Was it the fish that gave them typhus? Or was that just a special treat? Wanda doubts this version of events, and Pietro suggests she suppressed the memory due to the trauma. This gives Billy the chance to tell the camera that mom's been weird since uncle Pietro turned up to crash on their couch.

Next it's Vision's turn to appear in the classic Vision costume. Yikes. Wanda thanks him for humoring her, and he says there were no other clothes in his closet and they have a very weird second where he's not playing along and she's not sure what to do, and then he breaks into sitcom character says something about "just kidding, i know how much you love mexican wrestling" like it's a luchador costume, and then there's some super weird flirting. TMI you two.

Meanwhile, Pietro is a large child and the kids love him, of course. So there's that.

Back to Wanda and Vision, she's ready to take the kids out trick-or-treating, but Vision says he can't go, he's on the neighborhood watch and must patrol the streets ever-vigilant for wild gangs of child hooligans who might TP trees. He's gone off-script and it takes Wanda a second to figure out how to play this. She says it's the boys' first Halloween so he has to be there. Pietro breaks up the almost argument and says he can be a father figure-type and he'll help with the boys. Vision's still pretty off-script but Wanda doesn't fight it but looks uncertain, and he goes off to protect the night — or early afternoon.

Pietro is a child hooligan and wants to go do hooligany things with the kids. Wanda says he doesn't have a costume and he grabs Billy and they speed off only to return dressed in classic Quicksilver duds. Well, cheap-looking, thrown together Quicksilver duds. I laughed. The hair. lol. Good one.

Outside in the real world. The Hex field is still kind of glowing red and making bad force field noises. It only started doing that when Wanda got pissed in the last ep. Oh, goody, it's Acting Director Dick. I've learned his name is Hayward. I don't care.

Blah blah Stompy Mc-I'm-In-Charge blah. Monica is not pleased about the whole trying to kill Wanda with a missile while she was talking to her plan. AD Dick just says "now we know who we're dealing with". Um … what? You tried to kill her and her response was to tell you to go away. Yeah, boy, she's a monster.

Darcy is there to helpfully remind AD Dick that Wanda made him look like the fool he is. ILU girl. "Hey, there he is; the guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad." Jimmy just makes a 'i'm so disappointed in you and your choices' face at him in the background.

I despise characters like Hayward. They are so tedious. Narratively they are there to incite conflict, but given the situation conflict naturally exists, surely there are other ways to bring up/drive that tension without the trope of the government heavy ready to solve the problem with the most extreme amount of force available to him. OH no! Our plucky heroes will have to find a way to save the day and fight the Man! Can they do it? Boring. It's too bad General Talbot went insane and then died; he could probably give tips on How Not To Be That Guy.

Anyway

Hayward wants to know if Darcy works for him and she's like "dunno my dude", Monica claims her, AD Dick says "which one of you is the sassy best friend" and Jimmy's like, that is quite enough Acting Director Not Very Nice Man. "There's no time to diminish your colleagues when you're about to start a war you can't win." AD Dick just wants to take out Wanda so the whole nightmare ends. Monica's like um, we literally do not know what's going on. Like, for real we have no clue. So that might not, in fact, end the nightmare, Director Murder Britches.

They argue a lot and Director Dick goes off the rails. Dude's like more unhinged than seems warranted. Unless he's just so embarrassed that he pissed himself when Wanda returned his murder drone to him, he's decided SHE MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THE GOOD OF … NEW JERSEY AND MY SOILED UNDERWEAR OR SOMETHING. 

"Captain Rambeau, you are an impediment to this mission!" Oh no! He's gonna tell her all about how hard it was to survive in a post-blip world, all those lucky blipped don't know what it was like! You just can't understand! Monica tells him not to use that as an excuse to be a coward. I'm so bored with this scene. Let me guess, the trio will have to go behind his back to save the day.

"Maybe it's a good thing you weren't here with your mother died. Because, clearly you don't have the stomach for this job." … non-sequitur much? Or is he saying she would have inherited the Director-ship (which should probably not be how that sort of agency works, let's be real). Is this scene five hours long, or does it just feel that way?

The Dick banishes the trio from his base.

"Hayward is way over-stepping his provisional authority". Jimmy Woo, you're so great. Monica says he's up to something. Yeah a tactical nuke and murder. Clearly he doesn't want to actually solve the problem, he just wants the problem to go away with a big show of macho explosions and whatnot. I suspect he might be in over his head, like he was not meant to be Acting Director, let alone Director. Also, he's a boring cliche stereotype and I loathe it.

JIMMY! I legit did not see that coming. He just pure hauls off and clocks one of the soldiers escorting them off the base, to a transport truck or something. Monica seems just as surprised for a second but then she's like "hell yeah!" and jumps in. Darcy sort of stands back and watches. lol. "Why didn't anyone tell me the plan?"

Oh look, it's my shipping container! They put the soldiers in there. Guys, it was for Hayward. Come on.

The trio disguise themselves with ponchos, which is a big step up from the usual MCU disguise of "baseball hat". That was a good bit in Ant-man and the Wasp "it's not a disguise, it just looks like us at a baseball game" (I watched that like last week. I missed Luis). Anyway …

Back in the sitcom world. The kids are ready for their early afternoon trick-or-treating. They're still talking to the camera. It's so awkward. I'm not a fan. I get it's meant to reproduce the very 90s Nick-era sitcoms and so, you know, it's spot on. Still, though.

Pietro is encouraging and supportive. "Unleash hell, demon spawn!"

Dang there are a lot of kids in that neighborhood. Wasn't Vision wondering last episode why there weren't any kids? Is the program correcting itself?

Wanda tries to test Pietro, asking him about some kid at an orphanage when they were kids. Pietro calls her on it, and says he knows he looks different. Wanda wants to know why that is. He says, "You tell me. I mean, if I found shangra-la, I wouldn't want to be reminded of the past, either." Hmm.

The kids speed off with uncle Pietro. Wanda wanders over to talk to neighbor Herb, who has a g-man earbud in and is clearly part of the neighborhood watch. In the background Pietro is stealing all the candy and smashing pumpkins and spraying the place with silly string. The hijinks are so wacky. Wanda tells Herb maybe Vision can help out with the chaos, and Herb says Vision isn't on duty. Oh no, he lied to her!

Herb goes weird "is there something I can do for you, Wanda? Do you want something changed?" Hmmm.

Elsewhere Vision is wandering the wild streets of Westview. He finds people caught in some type of weird decorating loop, the woman seems trapped but aware.

Commercial time!  What the fuck was that. "Yo-magic! The snack for survivors." No, really, what the fuck.

Night has fallen, the twins and the twins walk the streets. Wanda's making the boys give back all the candy they stole. She says Pietro is a bad influence. He says "I'm just trying to do my part, kay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the rugrats, and ultimately give you grief. I mean, that's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"What happened to your accent?"

"What happened to yours? Details are fuzzy, man. I got shot like a chump in the street for no reason." AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! no really AHAHAHAHAAH! Thank you, Pietro! Holy shit, perfect. That's some delicious shade. I expect to see this gif'd fifteen different ways when I load tumblr today.

"Next thing I know, I heard you calling me. I knew you needed me."

The kids interrupt. And now all of a sudden Tommy can zoom. Character development!

Everyone is so careful to give Wanda what she wants. Why? She's not cruel. Who wants to keep her pacified? And whoever it is cannot possibly be pleased with AD Dick messing things up. Assuming it's an outside or outside-ish force/entity, of course. I mean, I don't think she's doing this entirely, she might be the battery powering it, but despite her thing last episode to get SWORD to leave her alone, she does seem a little confused about the where, why, and how things are going.

"Don't go past Ellis Avenue." Just a kid thing or a boundary of the sitcom control world?

In the real world, our heroes are sneaking through a tent city and into the server room. The scene with Pietro and Wanda discussing his accent is playing in the background. Darcy seems put-out that Pietro was recast. lol. "He brought the wrong face."

Darcy hacks into Hayward's devices. "Hayward figured out a way to look through the boundary." "And he didn't share it with the group." I don't like Hayward. 

Something is blipping on the map on the computer. Jimmy asks if it's Wanda, but Darcy says "it's tracking the decay signature of vibranium". So Vision. Monica wants to know why Hayward is tracking Vision. Well, I'd super like to know what SWORD was doing with Vision in the first place, because they weren't just storing him, they were doing something. So …

Jimmy notices that there are other dots, the ones closest to Vision, who are other residents. Jimmy says the ones near the edge of town are barely moving.

Back to Vision. He's found a cul-de-sac to patrol. Everybody's frozen in place, the street lights flicker. Eerie. They're all dressed for Halloween. Does this mean the field is shrinking, or the effects spreading and so it's closing in, slowing and then freezing people who were earlier moving about just fine? Vision is unaffected by this whatever it is. He turns himself into himself and flies off, up above the town. part of the town is dark, and part alive with voices and laughter.

He spots a car at the edge of town. It's Agnes. She seems frozen-ish, but when he asks what she's doing there, she says "Town Square Scare. Where is it?" all robotic like. Vision helpfully tries to give directions. lol. "Took a wrong turn, got lost" she says.

Vision touches her head and she wakes up. "You! You're one of the Avengers. You're Vision. Are you here to help us?" "I am Vision. I do want to help. But, what's an Avenger?"

Hmm. Well, I guess he did say last week that he couldn't remember anything before Westview.

"Am I dead?" she asks. "No, why would you think that?" "Because you are."

What was news coverage after the Snap like, do you suppose? I mean, ridiculous, of course. But, like, I think they had bigger problems then wondering about snapped/dead Avengers, didn't they? Well, maybe not. "WHERE ARE AVENGERS TO HELP US?" or "HOW DARE THE AVENGERS NOT HELP US!" "TOTALLY THIS IS ON THE AVENGERS!" "WE'D ALL BE DEAD WITHOUT THE AVENGERS!" "NUHUH! BOO AVENGERS!" "EXCEPT VISION WHO DIED HEROICALLY, WE ALL LIKE THAT AVENGER!" "TONY STARK AND PEPPER POTTS SHARE THE DECORATING TIPS THAT TRANSFORMED THEIR RUSTIC RESTORATION PROJECT INTO A CHARMING FAMILY HOME".

Agnes starts screaming "Dead" at Vision. She's not coping well. Vision says he's going to try and reach outside town and try to figure this all out. "How? No one leaves. Wanda won't even let us think about it." I SUSPECT YOU, AGNES! Why would Wanda keep everybody trapped and miserable? I could see if she did it on accident, but this implies she's purposefully hurting people. I don't buy it. Agnes, again, seems to be in the right place at the right time to make Vision doubt Wanda. You're a very suspicious character, Agnes.  

She starts to laugh. "All is lost." Vision touches her had and she resets to sitcom Agnes. Somehow she can move again, she turns the car around on Ellis Ave and heads back into town. So, that answers that.

Vision walks across the Eillis Ave to the field beyond.

Meanwhile, Darcy continues to hack. Monica gets a text and says "that's it! My way back into the Hex will be here in an hour." Jimmy's all ready to boost a ride to take her to meet her aerospace buddy. But, Darcy says, nope. Can't do it. Monica's been through the Hex twice, and it's rewritten her cells. "It's changing you." Monica is undaunted. "I know what Wanda's feeling and I won't stop until I help her." Alrighty then.

Jimmy's finally going to get to hotwire a car! But wait, Darcy's not going with them. AD Dick has something hidden behind one last firewall. Darcy thinks it's big and can help them. She's going to find it.

I don't think Jimmy had to hotwire that humvee. It just started right up. Motorpool, pfft - they always leave the keys.

Back in Westview. Halloween continues at Town Square. Pietro asks Wanda where she was hiding all those kids. Whu? Says Wanda. "I assume they were all just sleeping peacefully in their beds. No need to traumatize beyond the occasional holiday cameo, amiright?" What is Pietro. "Hey don't get me wrong, you've handled the ethical considerations of this scenario as best you could. Families and couples stay together. Most personalities aren't far from what's underneath. People got better jobs. Better haircuts for sure."

"You don't think it's wrong?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm impressed. It's a pretty big leap from giving people nightmares and shooting red wigglywoos out your hands." No, really, what is Pietro? "How'd you even do all this?" Hmmm.

"I don't know how I did it. I only remember feeling completely alone. Empty. Just endless nothingness." She looks back at Pietro and for a second he's dead Pietro. Poor Wanda.

Darcy continues to hack Hayward's systems. Cataract classified weapons something something. They're still tracking Vision. Who continues his walk across the field and comes to the hex. He tries to push through it. Looks painful. SWORD rolls out to go overreact at him. He makes it through the barrier, kind of. It's a struggle.

Hayward standing there looking like a jackass "he really does want out, doesn't he?" Like he’s just amused by this turn of events, or watching a lab rat try to get out of the lab. 

Darcy's standing behind watching all of this. Bits of Vision sort of fly off and back into the Hex. Darcy says "oh no!" and runs towards him, screaming for them to help him. Way to give away your sneaky hiding, girlfriend.

In Westview. Billy looks up, he can hear what's going on outside. "I hear daddy in my head. He's in trouble."

Vision calls for help, while SWORD prioritizes arresting Darcy. Phil Coulson would never have behaved like this. Boo to SWORD. Vision is dissolving. It's kind of gross and sad.

Wanda asks where Vision is, and Pietro interrupts "Don't sweat it, sis. It's not like your dead husband can die twice." Wanda wallops him with some red wigglywoos.

Billy sees soldiers and thinks Vision is dying. Wanda stops everything and makes a big red boom. The Hex appears to be expanding. Whoops, now you've done it AD Dick. He runs away like the brave brave guy he is. They leave Darcy handcuffed to a jeep. "Are you serious right now?"

The Hex overtakes Vision and then Darcy. Trapped soldiers become clowns, and we're in the circus. Well, SWORD seems like a circus, so Wanda's not wrong. I'm pretty sure Jimmy and Monica made it, but sadly the bravest Director who ever braved also escaped. He deserved to be a circus clown. Better luck next week, Wanda.

Credits.

Well, I just don't know anymore.

Hayward doesn't care about Wanda, except where I think because of this someone will figure out what he was doing to Vision's body. And Vision is ultimately the thing he cares about in all this. I hope Wanda drops a house on him.

Hmmm.

Quit suggesting I watch Age of Ultron next, Disney. It’s not happening.