#the uterus says no the hormones say no

[thedrotter]

a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.

doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33

[ruthlesslistener]

as a trans guy with Fucked Up and Evil menstruation, testosterone was a magic bullet that solved all my problems. I hope it does the same for you! Wish ya luck!

Tysm! I'm hoping that once I'm on a higher dose that I'll experience the same, because I have- and this is no fucking joke- been bleeding almost every single day of 2023 so far. I'm no longer having debilitating periods along with nonstop bloodloss where I almost can't get out of bed because I'm so weak, disoriented, and in pain (hypothyroid medications have solved that), but then I just switched to bleeding at every day, with periods just being more bloodflow than usual, and my doctors have no idea why. Testosterone has further reduced the migraines, exhaustion, and muscle weakness with no side effects other than a little bit of nausea when I first started (opposite of estrogen, which made me so nauseous and sensitive i couldn't eat), but since I'm on such a low dose I don't think it can eliminate it entirely, so hopefully once I'm allowed to increase the dose it'll get this broken-ass organ to shut up entirely. Only reason why I'm not on a higher dose rn is because my hormone levels were all terribly out of whack when I started it, so they don't want to throw my body into shock lmao

[jennifersbod]

what’s especially hilarious about this post going viral is i got a hysterectomy less than a year ago at the age of 25

[raystie]

wow my last post was in Feb so despite not really having a following here I still feel obligated to say I'm going through a Bad Time both mentally and physically rn I can't even be bothered to think about or play Yakuza or do anything really. not dead but I sure feel like I'm on the way there rn. won't be here for a while take care everyone

[youweremyridehome]

cant wait to go straight to bed after work tonight (it's currently 7.56am)

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

"Feeling all my organs cramps" yeah that's worrisome. Women on their periods only got one (1) organ cramping tho and it's one you don't have sooooooo go see a doctor idk

Had to unfollow this one person on here cause they just would not stop making posts about how transfems on e getting periods is just made up symptoms and like, I don't have definitive proof I only have my and others experience but like how do you, as someone who is not on e, who has access to the same amount of studies looking into this with decent sample sizes as I do (none), feel so confident to say it's all just placebo and made up ? What makes you so confident ? Cause I gotta say after almost two years of nearly right on the dot once a month suddenly feeling nausea all week, taking the most unbelievable shits, feeling all my organs cramp, and having mood swings out the ass which always just so happens to line up with when the two people with uteruses in my house also get their periods, I feel like I have more data to work off of than you do

[sassmill]

Hm think I might go nuts for a bit

[unhonestlymirror]

I wonder if people who call me terf radfem know that my favourite girlfail jujutsu kaisen character is Naoya Zenin🤔

[smallswingshoes]

Your local pharmacy technician here.

The medication is called Isotretinoin, aka Zenatane, Amnesteem, or Claravis.

It can cause severe birth defects, which is why it's required for patients to be on birth control if they have a uterus and to be repeatedly educated on the risks of the medication. To be fair, men on the medication also have to be repeatedly educated on not having unprotected sex while on it.

It has, iirc, a 30% chance of causing birth defects in infants. You have to understand that this is extremely high for any medication on the market. Compare that to fetal alcohol syndrome, which, if I did my math right, is something like a 7% chance of happening when drinking alcohol while pregnant, although numbers vary. That's a significant difference.

There are many, many medications that could, theoretically, potentially cause problems for a baby if taken during pregnancy, but they don't have a THIRTY PERCENT CHANCE of causing birth defects.

I'm seeing people in the notes calling this dystopian, but, frankly, the ipledge system requiring people to prevent pregnancy while on this medication is the only way this medication could have made it to the market. It's nearly a 1 in 3 chance of causing birth defects.

Part of the reason there are these measures put in place is because, on a grand scale, you just can't take "I pinkie promise" from patients as any kind of guarantee. You just can't.

I know it's incredibly frustrating, but imo the solution is for more medications for acne to be available and/or more birth controls to be available so that there are more options.

It would be criminally irresponsible to put isotretinoin on the market without some sort of stopgap in place.

If it was really about "but what about the babies?", believe me, there would be so many more medications attached to the ipledge system. It would be a logistical nightmare and impractical to boot, even ignoring the moral implications.

Please believe me when I say there's a good reason isotretinoin has the ipledge system. It literally wouldn't be available at all without it. I am directing this message less to anon and more to conspiratorial commenters on this post.

You know what medical pet peeve, I kind understand it but I still find it stupid and hate it. There's this medication I wanna try for my skin, but I can't use it unless I use birth control. I forgot the English name, sorry. Literally I cannot get it unless I'm on birth control and actively taking it, even though I don't fuck, I don't do casual sex and I am not dating, I'm completely soloing life. Ok? I would also have to piss in a cup each month to prove I'm not pregnant. I can't get the medication unless I take birth control because when pregnant it's bad for the fetus. A fetus I'll not have because I don't fuck, and have no interest in it, and I also in my current position and maybe future, just do not want children.

I can't fucking take birth control because all of the ones I tried leave me completely destroyed mentally and physically, I just don't have the body for any birth control. They make literally everything worse, bloating, nausea, periods, weight fluctuation, itchy for some reason, one even made me leak and then my breasts got so badly inflammed wearing a shirt was agony, etc. The medication I want to take isn't the best for general health either: Dry skin, liver, some other shit. I fucking hate it, I either have to just not do the medication, or I have to completely ruin my health in two ways because of a pregnancy that is just is not going to happen because I don't fuck.

I am guessing this is because of people lying about their sexual activity or some shit, but for the love of everything, now I can't get the medication that would actual improve my quality of life because of these people. I think what got me the most is that the Doctor I spoke to said that even if a woman doesn't have the ability to have children she would still need to take birth control and piss in a cup.

--

[libraford]

Me: ill probably apply to the permanent part time position when it opens up in February, assuming I'm recovered from my surgery.

Ginger: what surgery is that?

Me: hysterectomy

Ginger: I don't know that one.

Me: removal of the uterus.

Ginger: you're not having kids???

Me: straight up the least of my problems

Ginger: how can you say that???

Me: look at me, Ginger. I'm at 37 year old lesbian on hormonal birth control with a tumor the size of a grapefruit growing where a baby would be. If I don't get it ectomied, the risk of it bursting and killing me in a bleed-out increases. I've thought my options through.

Ginger: but can't you get rid of the tumor and keep the womb so you can have children?

Me: my womb is trying to kill me. This is non-negotiable.

[suiana]

(yandere! vampire x afab! reader) (cw: period blood💀, suggestive) (reader is gn but has a uterus)

he is the young lord of a prestigious vampire family family.

honour, money, respect.

he could be everything and anything. his status allows him to do so. and the fact that he's a vampire only makes him so much more powerful.

a young and educated bachelor of a prestigious vampire family.

elegant, smart, educated.

he'd never make a rash decision, always thinking things through before doing anything. careful calculations, masterful deceptions...

that's why he doesn't understand it when his friend tells him that period blood is tasty.

"dude, you've got to try it sometime. like, it's got this tangy taste and-"

"silence! how disgusting are you?"

his face is completely twisted, eyes narrowing as he glares at his friend of 150 years. what on earth is he talking about? tasty? tangy?

his best friend wasn't like this before. he used to be more composed. he'd never say something that vulgar.

ugh, it must be because his friend got that human girlfriend a while back. ever since they started dating... he doesn't even want to think about it. that human must have brainwashed him or something. like period blood? seriously?

...

he can't say much though. he's the same with you too. if you asked him to do something nasty with your blood... i mean, you're his mate! he'll do anything if you asked for it!

"ugh... my cramps are so painful..."

your vampire boyfriend immediately spins his ehad towards you, an alert expression as he teleports to your side to immediately rub at your belly.

"do you need anything, my love?"

"just for my cramps to stop hurting so much."

your boyfriend hates seeing you like this. all in pain, crouching over yourself. curse whoever made periods! how dare they hurt his wonderful lover? he swears that he'll-

"...babe, you're doing the thing again."

oh.

the vampire lord shys away, immediately hiding his fangs as he clears his throat.

"sorry beloved. you know how I get whenever you're in pain. you don't deserve to suffer, you know? I just get so passionate sometimes."

he sighs, shaking his head as he curls up beside you and snuggles up with you. ah, this is perfect- wait a second.

'dude, i don't know whether your mate will allow you to but whenever they get their cramps getting them to orgasm relieves the pain.'

why the hell did he suddenly remember his best friend's words right now?!

ah...

the vampire turns his head towards yours, a pretty pink hue on his cheeks asnhe snuggles you even more. it catches your attention and.. you can't help but raise an eyebrow. what the hell was your boyfriend up to now? did he kill someone in your name again?

"what?"

"you... have cramps right?"

did he hit his head or something?

"yeah? i literally just said it."

your grunt, feeling slightly more snappy than usual because your hormones were fucking everything up. everything was so uncomfortable, and the pain meds weren't helping either. sometimes you wish you could just tear out your uterus and never have to suffer periods ever again.

wait, wait, wait what?

you were pulled out from your thoughts when your boyfriend suddenly stopped hugging you, instead moving his face lower... and lower- hold on, is he in the mood right now?!

"w-wait! what are you doing? i'm on my period dummy!"

"yeah? i know?"

you feel your cheeks heating up as your boyfriend stares at you from in between your legs. what the hell? is he crazy? you know how much of a clean freak he is! he'd never do something so... filthy!

"get out from my legs then?! what if my blood gets-"

"i... heard from my friend that it would help your cramps go away."

he pauses, face blushing as he stares at your pants before glancing back up at your face.

"and you know how much I hate seeing you in pain baby. I don't care if it gets messy."

you could only stare at him in a mixture of embarrassment and horror as he begins to momentarily outfreak you with his behaviour. he's never... done anything like this before. and you know how much he hates getting dirty and so-called 'un-fresh blood'.

he's gone on a rant about how different fresh blood and not fresh blood tastes like before. you vividly remember his disgusted voice and his horrific face as he recounted what his best friend and hiss mate did.

and yet... he's doing the same thing now?!

"hey... you don't have to do it-! I thought you-"

"yeah, but it's fine. I'm doing it for you anyways."

you didn't know what to say to that so you merely sighed and let him do what he wanted to do. you never managed to stop him when he was set on something anyway.

...

so your vampire boyfriend ended up liking it more than he should.

um.

yeah good luck :3

[syluss-slut]

•°•°•Safe Embrace°•°•

Summary: your uterus pulls a fuck you by starting your period early even if you just had one two weeks ago, but your 6'2 boyfie is here to cuddle the pain away.

Pairings: Sylus×Reader ⚡

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, mention of period pain.

A/n: yearning is at an all-time high rn. LIKEYOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED THIS MAN SO BAD HNSGBFBSHDNBHSN

You walked towards sylus's room in heavy steps. You were even surprised your body could hold on for that long.

Your period took you by surprise, coming back again after not even two weeks. Beauty of womanhood, isn't it? You spoiled your favourite pajama pants because of that and on top of all this, it was a heavy flow. In the middle of a productive week. Could it get any worse?

You knocked on his bedroom door, sylus taking not even a second knock to open it for you. As soon as the door opened, you managed to take one step in and collapsed right after. (Un)surprisingly, you didn't hit the floor, but rather found yourself in sylus' safe embrace, as he caught you just in time.

As he brought you to the bed, you silently start weeping in his chest. Tears run down your face due to the pain you were in.

Alarmed, "what's wrong, kitten?" Sylus enquires, a soft look in his eyes, concern in his voice.

Somehow, it made you cry even more. Your period hormones were driving you crazy.

He sits down on the bed, with you in his arms and now on his lap. One of his hand is on your back, soothing you and the other holds up your chin.

"Talk to me. What is it, sweetie?" He asks, a gentle tone in his voice that you've rarely ever heard him use with anybody other than you.

"Menses" you replied, in a feeble voice through tears.

"You poor thing" sylus thinks to himself.

"Let me get you some painkillers" he says, laying you down. You grab the sleeve of his gray sweater just as he walked out of your reach, making him turn around.

"Stay with me. Please" you croaked.

Wordlessly, sylus slips under the sheets beside you, engulfing you in a hug, making you the smaller spoon.

His large hand is in your hair, massaging slowly, lulling you into sleep.

"Thank you" your voice comes out muffled as you snuggled further into his chest.

With the feeling of being in a safe embrace and under warm sheets, you finally dose off to sleep, the last thing you remember being sylus' lips as he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.

•°•°•°(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)•°•°•°•

When your eyes open, you don't know how much time has passed, but the first thing you acknowledge is the sheets beside you being empty; however they were still warm.

Sylus must have gotten up not so long ago.

Almost as if summoned by your thoughts, you turn to the doorway upon hearing something, and see sylus holding a tray of food.

Your heart melts at his sweet gesture.

"Here. Eat it all and don't forget your meds" he says, placing the tray on your lap.

You decide this isn't enough, "I'm weak all over, feed them to me?" You request, looking at sylus' face to read his expression.

You hear him chuckle, followed by a nod. He picks up the spoon and does as you asked.

The outcome? A few drops of soup spilled on your lap and some of it around your mouth. You smiled at how much effort he was putting into this, which turned into a giggle, which escalated into full-on laughter.

You notice the corner of his lips turn up ever so slightly, and you don't let it slip.

Never in a hundred years did sylus ever see himself taking care of someone, let alone make them feel so safe as to be vulnerable around him. Truly, you changed his life, for the better.

You wiped your mouth clean and didnt forget the painkillers, obviously.

"Rest. I called you in sick for tomorrow" Fuck. You felt like crying again. How can this man perceive himself as 'evil' or whatever the society labels him as? He's just a sensitive soul forced to harden up.

"You know my heart never truly rests without you beside me" you confess, Patting the space beside you, lifting the comforter for him to slip into.

You lay down, and so does he. The soft moonlight in the now dim room fell on his flawless face, it somehow made him look even prettier.

Silver light on his silver hair. You couldn't possibly resist the urge to pet his fluffy hair and so you did.

"Hmm. Keep doing that" Sylus purrs.

You hug him closer, and he rests his chin on the top of your head. Both of you drifting off to sleep once again.

Who would've thought, the feared leader of onichynus, who could have no trouble putting a bullet through one's head, be so vulnerable in his woman's arm?

[youweremyridehome]

.

[tan1shere]

Heyy I was wondering if you could do a fic with Ellie x reader when r is on her period. Ellie doesn’t know, but she’s really hormonal, moody, and lashes out at Ellie. Eventually Ellie connects the dots and is really sweet and understanding and R just breaks down in tears saying stuff like she’s a terrible gf etc. R is also in a lot of pain with cramps and just wants to sleep and Ellie is there for her there too. I love your writing!!

You're ok

Ellie Williams x female reader!

A/n: hiii thank you 😊 I'm so glad you enjoy it, this one's just for you nonnie <3 hope you like it !!

Warnings: none really, fluffyness ! Moody reader ? -

Masterlist

Birds were chirping, the sun starting to shine in. You smiled to yourself, this was going to be a good day! Until your legs hit the floor. A wave of blood washes over your uterus. Fuck. No no- was all you could think. You groan, it was always so irregular. It was supposed to come next week. You flop back on the bed, dreading this day already. Curling back up into the sheets. Why today, you planned to do stuff, be productive. It frustrated you how your period could be. Just be normal for God sake.

"Morning baby, I made you some breakfast." You hear your girlfriends voice. You groan in pain, your cramps starting to kick in like crazy, as usual. "Not hungry." Her brows furrow. "Bu-" "I said I'm not hungry." You spit. Her brows furrow more, deciding to leave you alone at your sudden outburst. All you wanted to do was sleep and hope the day speeds up faster.

It infact didn't. The common headache starts, the cramps become more and more. You decided to get up to get some water, moody and annoyed. "You done with whatever this morning was?" "Shut up." You grumble. Exhausted, hair a mess. Her head tilts looking at you in thought. "What it up with you today." You don't reply just wanting to lay in your bed again. She hated seeing you this way. "Hello?" You then go back up the stairs to lay down.

She opens the door a few hours later grabbing a book from the bedside. Noticing you were asleep. She was trying to rack her brain what was bothering you so much, then it clicked. "Period." She whispered. Then her demeanor softens. She felt awful for not noticing. Ellie was smart she pieced it together, she got them too she knows. But she also understood how badly you got yours, especially after you missed last months.

Another hour passes and you're awake again, staring at the ceiling. Your body ached, but your mood certainly changed. You hated how your body made you treat people, your mind all over the place. You look at the clock to check the time. It was way later in the evening. You decided to get up and go see your girlfriend just wanting some comfort after today. But most importantly to apologize, for no real reason as Ellie would say. She was so understanding, always saying that there was no need to apologize. You walk down seeing her watching TV on the couch. "Ells?" You softly say.

Her head turns to look at you. "I'm sorry Ellie, I'm so sorry." - "Hey hey its fine. You're ok." She lifts the blanket. "Come here." And you do, getting under it with her. "Why didn't you tell me when you saw I didn't know yet?" You shrug lightly. "I dunno baby, I'm sorry I've been so awful and evil today." This makes her laugh. "My wicked little moody monster." Your eyes roll with a huge smile. "Youre so silly." Her hand comes in contact with your hair. "How bad have they been?" You sigh and that's enough for her to know that they were bad. "Everything aches." A sad look is present on her features. "I'm sorry angel.

Your body moves closer into her touch loving the warm feeling she gave you. Why couldn't you of just done this, this morning. Instead of lashing out. "Look at me baby." She then says pulling you out if your thoughts. "It's not your fault. It's ok, I understand now, please don't worry about this morning." She saw through you and your mind. You nodded. "We're only human bub." Her soft way made you snuggle into her more. She was truly the best.

"Will you let me take care of you now?" You nod gently. And this makes her smile stick. She loved taking care of you, it filled her with so much joy to be there for the person she loved. "Thank you for being so patient with me." You tell her. She gives you a kiss on the forehead. "I will forever be patient with you, I love you."

"I love you too."

For the rest of that night that's what she did, she made sure you ate. Had something warm on your stomach for the pesky cramps. Ran you a soothing warm bath, for the whole of your aching body. And the cuddliest cuddles to end of a horrible day.

[genderqueerdykes]

I wanted to offer some additional advice to those trying to figure all this out. Learn the terms doctors use *instead* of intersex or even DSD. Many can and will do everything they can to hide it from you, often out of a misplaced desire to spare you stress. In my case it was "corrective surgery as an infant" and "PCOS" and "malformed uterus" and "genetic resistance to certain hormones" and "atypical responses" to medications. Anything BUT "intersex." I was 38 before I was able to put it all together and start actually seeking intersex friendly care. Knowing that things like "hormonal imbalance" and such were actually a cover for saying intersex, I would have been able to seek out proper care much sooner and suffered much less permanent damage to my body. Hope that helps someone avoid what I went through! ^_^

thank you, that's extremely helpful advice! i really appreciate this! especially if youre trying to find care like this person mentions, often times saying you're looking for intersex specific care won't yield any results. there's actually a lot of medical stigma around the term and most people who are intersex are never told they are with that word. thanks for the help!

[ashwhowrites]

Hi dear!

I have a funny Eddie request for you. Eddie and reader is trying for a baby and they are both thrilled when Reader becomes pregnat.

Reader's sex drive also increase because of the hormones but suddenly Eddie is all "we should be careful" and just want sex without penetration and when Reader finally gets frustrated and ask "what is the problem" Eddie is like "what... what if I poke them?!" upon which reader rolls around in the floor with laughter before explaining that firstly, the baby is like the size of a tadpole and surrounded by its own airbag (the uterus) and secondly, the uterus will remain "closed" until labor, so let's just do this!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Poking

Eddie loved that Y/N was settled and ready to have kids. Sure, he was excited to have a family. But he loved the act of trying for a baby. He loved that she was on him more than ever and he could happily have sex all the time.

Then the test was positive and the rushing started.

~~~

The pregnancy for Y/N wasn't bad, but she was just at the beginning of it all. She did notice her hormones have been heightened, including her sex drive. She obviously was attracted to her husband, but now it was like everything he did sent a puddle between her legs.

Eddie was doing the dishes, nothing more. He stood against the sink in his loose sweatpants and a random t-shirt. Y/N chewed at her body lip as she sat at the kitchen counter, her eyes taking in every tattoo that showed.

She slipped off the stool, sneaking towards him as her arms wrapped around his waist. Eddie smiled as he felt her pressed against his back.

"Well hello, dearest" Eddie chuckled

"Hello," she said, her mind elsewhere as she moved her hands under his shirt and rubbed at his chest. Then she reached up to peck away at his neck, softly pushing his hair aside.

"Whatcha doing there?" he shuddered, dishes long gone in his head as her nails scratched down his happy trail and sliding into his sweats. He moaned as she softly cupped him through his boxers, making his hand grip the sink.

"I was just watching you...then felt like touching you" she whispered in his ear, softly tugging at the earring that decorated his ear with her teeth.

"I did hear marriage causes weird turn-ons, especially when men do chores" Eddie teased, but whimpered as she cupped his again.

"Love seeing you busy with your hands, and those long fingers" she purred, he could feel his cock growing hard under her touch and from her words.

"Someone is in the mood" he smirked, turning his head to look back at her

"Are you?" she asked, raising her eyebrow

Eddie grabbed her hand out of his sweatpants and then turned around. He held her hand against his chest and leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss.

He meant for it to be a simple and sweet kiss, but she deepened it. She took control of the kiss and pace as she wiggled her hand loose and trailed it over his sweatpants. Her tongue slipped in his mouth as she rubbed his bulge through his pants.

He moaned into her mouth as his tongue worked against hers. He moved his hands to cup her ass as she continued to rub him.

She pulled back, giving his lips small pecks before fully pulling away.

His eyes were dark and burning with lust as he stared at her

"Fuck me, handsome" she cooed, removing her hands from his bulge to run up his chest and wrap around his neck

Eddie sighed, he wasn't sure how he felt about sex now that he knew a baby was in there. He tried to think of how to say it but then her lips were sucking on his neck and all his thoughts were out the window.

He growled as he let his body go, his hand slipping down her comfy shorts. He smirked when he could feel her bare and soaked cunt. His fingers ran through her puffy folds, his fingers collecting her wetness. He felt her lips stop, just her mouth panting against his neck.

"Feels so good" she whined, her hands moving into his hair as she tugged

"Yeah? Like when daddy plays with your wet pussy?" He said huskily into her ear, his fingers together as he pressed on her clit

She jolted forward, whining loudly

He took pity on her, rubbing slow circles

She sighed in sweet relief, her hips softly moving. She took her right hand, spitting on it, and went back inside his sweats, but this time slipped inside his boxers too.

Eddie shuttered as he felt her nails skimming down his length. She softly cupped his balls, loving the way he moaned out. His fingers moved faster on her clit and she tried to stay focused.

She wrapped her hand around his cock, moving it up and down. She matched his pace on her clit, attaching her lips to his.

They made out hungrily as they worked each other to an orgasm. His fingers sent her over the edge, and the way she pumped his cock had him spilling all over her hand.

~~~

Over the next few weeks, she grew more needy. As the helpful husband Eddie was, he made sure he gave her an orgasm when she needed it.

But he did it all without truly fucking her. He wanted to, of course, but he was uncomfortable with his baby being part of it. Y/N didn't know, that's why she had her hands on Eddie at all times.

He tried his best to brush past her advances, softly turning the path into other things

"Fuck me" she whined, moving her hips against his covered cock

Eddie could feel his cock pulsing as he tried to think. She was practically humping him at this point and it felt too good. He moaned and threw his head back. He bit down on his lip and placed his hands on her hips.

He moved her hips against him, making her move faster. She moaned as she rocked against him, the feeling of her sleep shorts rubbing against her clit was blissful.

"But look how sexy you look rubbing against me so desperately" he mocked

"Want you in meeeee" she whined but did nothing to stop her hips

"Daddy wants you to cum from rubbing against his cock like a desperate good girl" he demanded, his voice deep as he bucked his hips up. Giving her the slight feel of his cock pushing up against her

She whined and panted, her eyes rolling back as he leaned forward and sucked on her naked chest. His tongue played with her nipples and she began to see stars.

She couldn't hold anything back, moaning and screaming loudly as she came.

~~~

Eddie walked out of the bathroom, towel on his waist after his shower, and into the bedroom.

He froze in his spot as his eyes landed on his wife, naked and lying on the bed. She smirked as he visibly drooled and called him over with her finger

Eddie stood still at his spot, knowing if he walked toward her he would end up inside of her

"Um, I forgot something in the bathroom" Eddie panicked, turning around and racing out the door

Y/N frowned, a little worried as she grabbed an old shirt he didn't wear anymore and slipped on her underwear. She walked to the bathroom, knocking on the door

"Eddie? Everything okay?" she asked as she knocked

"Fine" he squeaked, his voice cracking

"When you look at your naked pregnant wife and run away, that does not seem fine"

Eddie opened the door, a look on his face that she couldn't recognize.

"What is it? Is the pregnancy a turn-off?" she asked, the thought itself bringing tears to her eyes

"NO! No, don't cry!" Eddie panicked. But the pregnancy hormones already had her choking on her tears

"Then what is it?" She snapped, crossing her arms as she stared him down. Sniffling the tears away.

"It's just...what if I poke it?" Eddie asked an embarrassed blush covering his cheeks

"Poke what?"

Eddie sighed, hating that he had to spell it out

"What if I poke the baby! I don't want them just chilling and then my dick is just there."

Eddie stared as her tears stopped and she went dead silent. The anger behind her eyes vanished.

She blinked a few times

Still silent

"Babe?" He asked he went to poke her arm to see if she was breathing. But then she let out the hardest laugh he had ever heard. She was holding her stomach, leaning over and laughing. Tears down her cheeks as she tried to regain herself

"What is so damn funny? If you were that baby you would not think it was funny being stuck in the middle of your parents going at it!" He defended, crossing his arms as he pouted

She laughed but took some deep breaths. Trying to speak between fits of laughter

"Oh honey," laughing again, "that is not how it works. The baby is like the size of a tadpole and secondly, my uterus will remain closed until labor, so the sex is just the two of us," she explained, just small giggles as his face changed.

"So...we can have sex and nothing hits them?" Eddie asked

"Correct" Y/N smiled, rubbing his arm in a comforting way

Eddie smirked, grabbing her hand and placing it on his towel. She smirked back.

"Then let's do this"

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