#*coughs* this post has been filed under Things I Need To Say But Cannot Talk To My Mother About

[gendzl]

nsfw tmi in the tags :-)

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

A Darcy Day Off

As promised, I present ~6,800 words of a sick, miserable Fitz/willi/am Dar/cy. I’ve been working on this on and off for an embarrassingly long time so I’m glad to finally clear it out of my WIP folder to make room for new things. But honestly, it was a pleasure to write, and I hope some of you take pleasure in reading it as well!

Definitely he first chapter, and honestly the first 2 chapters are mostly exposition, so if you want to skip straight to the sickfic goodness and reduce the word count, head to chapter 3. But I had fun writing (and worked hard on) the banter and conversation in the beginning, so I opted to keep it. 

( @chezsnez @empresskaze @groundcontrol21 you all asked so nicely, so I hope this is what you were looking for! )

1.

“Darcy, dear, what’s keeping you? I thought we were to meet in the library for tea,” Elizabeth called. She found him still in his study, hunched over the desk. She danced to his side, planting a kiss atop his head. He leaned against her briefly in greeting.

“I’m sorry, my dear. I had more business to attend to today than I’d realized. Just finishing up now.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly, then his nose, trying to be rid of a tickle that had been infuriating him all day.

“Always at your work. I wonder our estate isn’t the finest run in Britain. And here I used to think people of high class such as yourself worried for nothing but amusing themselves all day.” She gently rubbed his neck where she knew he always got an ache when he wrote. He kissed her hand fondly.

“You are of such a class, too, now, my love. And how do you know it isn’t the finest? I’d be willing to wager a year’s salary this estate could be measured against parliament’s own estates and be proven worthy, if I have anything to say about it.”

“You pour your very soul into all that goes on here, and it’s one of the many things I adore about you. I am proud every day to be the mistress of such an estate. Only I wish you wouldn’t work so hard and take more time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.”

“Are you accusing me of ignoring you, dearest? Only say the word and I would throw all my responsibilities to the winds and devote myself fully to your entertainment.” 

He kept his tone light and playful, teasing her, but looked at her closely even as he did. Had he been neglecting her too much of late? He had had several pressing business matters on his mind these last weeks, and he knew he had been at his desk more than usual. Lizzie had not complained of course, and had been nothing but supportive and helpful, but the last thing he would ever want to do is make her doubt where his priorities lay, namely that she was foremost in his mind and heart, and in all things.

“Not at all, for you well know I’m quite fond of my own company. However, I can't help but worry about you. You put too much responsibility on yourself; you are positively careworn these days. I only wish your more lighthearted side could see the light of day now and again, and not just when we’re alone.”

“I am my truest self when I’m with you.” He kissed her hand again, then rubbed his nose. “I will always struggle being lighthearted while working. The two have never gone hand in hand in my experience; gravity and soberness were expected whilst doing business in my growing years under my father, and others. All the more reason I have need of your influence.” 

She kissed his head again. “Very well, I accept the mantle of helping you find levity in your working hours. If only so that the strain you put on yourself will not affect your health. You put on a casual, careless demeanor in public, but I know better. You bear the weight of the world on those broad shoulders of yours, and that is a burden no man is meant to carry, even by his own choice. So come now, and join your wife for tea. The letters can wait another hour or so, surely.

“Indeed they can.” He stood and stretched stiffly. The chill winter wind howled outside and the sound made him shiver, glad for the roaring heat from the fire nearby, and in every room in the house as he moved to escort his wife to the library. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The couple spent a pleasant hour or two in their favorite room in the house, chatting warmly at times, and sitting in comfortable silence at others. The relentless wind made Darcy feel sleepy and lazy, and he wanted nothing more than to take his wife’s advice and take the rest of the day to relax. He would have been content to remain here for the rest of the evening with his favorite person and simply read and chat and perhaps nap. But he had two more letters that needed to make the post tomorrow, and if he did not finish them now, he never would. He stood quietly and brushed his lips across his wife’s cheek. She nuzzled back, then watched as he lingered before the library fire longer than necessary, warming his hands and rear.

“Are you all right, my dear?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. I’ve developed a slight headache is all, and it makes the task of my remaining letters all the more daunting.”

“I can imagine. I wish you would take a day off sometime soon, so that you may rest for longer than a few hours at a stretch. I believe it would do you wonders. Winter is generally a time for peaceful contemplation, but it’s been a frenzy of activity for you these past months. You are overdue for some leisure, my love.”

“You are right, as usual. Sometime very soon, dearest, I will take a week or two off and we will spend all the leisurely hours together you could wish. Perhaps we’ll even have a romp outside in the snow. Within the next month, once this mess is more or less cleaned up. Would that suit you?”

“It would suit me very fine indeed. While you could never be accused of neglecting me, I have been missing my husband of late, most especially his smile. That has been the most absent part of you.”

“For that I am sorry. I don’t like to bring my business affairs into our life together. My lovely, patient wife. You are too good to me.

“Well and I could say the same of you, so there. Enough of that. Come kiss me again, then go to your work before you fall asleep standing up.”

“As you command.” He was truly in danger of this, as he felt his lids growing heavier all the time, so he forced himself to move away from the pleasant heat, going to her side and kissing her fully this time, savoring her sweet lips before reluctantly pulling away. “Away I go. See you soon, darling.”

 Mr. Darcy could not rid himself of the clinging fatigue for the rest of the evening. His remaining letters took longer than usual, and he knew they were not as well done as they ought to be, but at least they were done. When they were finished, he tossed his pen aside eagerly and stretched his stiff neck. Perhaps he should take those leisure days sooner rather than later. He really hadn’t been feeling his best lately, and the wintery weather that had had them in its grasp for weeks certainly wasn’t helping. Also, he missed his wife, though he had just seen her. He missed spending time with her, and not just in stolen hours here and there. 

Right now all he wanted was to curl up beside her in bed, and talk of sweet nothings, and perhaps make sweet love. Hopefully that would help shake this irritating headache. Yes, they were long overdue for quality time spent together. He would make arrangements for some time away immediately, hopefully as early as a fortnight from now. The thought immediately made him calmer as he finished up a few small things, then hurried to find her and begin the more pleasant part of the evening.

2.

“Heh-KERRR-CHOOOOO! Heh- heh- KITSHHH’CHOOOO”

A bellowing sneeze startled Elizabeth from her book the next morning, and the even louder one that followed caused her to go investigate it’s source. To her surprise, following the sound of the miserable sniffles led to her husband’s study, where she found him ineffectually wiping his dripping nose with an already-damp handkerchief. 

“My dear Mr. Darcy, is that you making all that racket? My heavens, bless you! I don’t know as I’ve ever heard a sneeze so resounding in all my life. Were you holding it in all morning for it to grow to such a volume?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he sniffled sourly. “It was merely a sneeze.”

She quirked an eyebrow, amused. “I would beg to argue. You sneeze particularly violently, my dear. Likely because, as I noted, you hold them in until you can’t anymore.”

“Well, since you are evidently the expert,” he muttered as he pressed on with his work, coughing softly. 

She rarely saw this severe, prickly side of him these days, and this, more than anything else, concerned her and made her know he shouldn’t be teased at present. He really must be feeling poorly. She moved to his side and pressed against him as she had the day before, rubbing his shoulder. He did not respond, physically or otherwise.

“You are unwell, my love. You should go take some rest. You quite look as if you have gotten the wrong end of this cold of a sudden.”

“I am fine. Don’t worry yourself. I am only in need of some tea and I shall be quite well.”

“I’d be happy to fetch you tea, but I’d be happier to fetch it for you in bed, or at least in your chair in the library. I fear these large windows will do you no favors with the draft.”

“I have many things I need to see to today. I cannot take time to rest. And all my files are here in the study. I haven’t been ill since I was a boy. I’m certainly not going to be ill now.”

Lizzie sighed and shook her head at the foolishness of males. “Have it your way, then. I’ll see you get some tea. Was there anything else you’d like?”

“Just a scone or two. Thank you, dearest.” He finally turned his gaze to her, and she saw true gratitude there, despite the reddened, watery eyes and dripping nose. “And forgive my rudeness when you came in. You startled me, but I should not speak to you like that. Please forgive me.”

“Of course you’re forgiven, and I am sorry I startled you. You know I only worry about you because I love you.”

“As I love you, my Lizzie.” He coughed wetly into his handkerchief. “Now please, if you’d leave me. I really do have much to do, and you are ever my truest distraction. I will see you this evening. And please know, I am doing all this so that we can have our time together very soon.”

“Yes, my dear.” She sighed softly and made her way out, stopping one of the servants to request her husband’s tea and scones. She gave explicit instructions for the type of tea and what was to be in it, things to soothe an aching throat and ward off fever. If he wouldn’t have a care for his own body, she would be forced to do it for him. She only hoped he would see reason sooner than later and take himself off to bed before he caught his death in that drafty study.

~~~~~~~~~~

Of course, Darcy was endlessly studious and conscientious, not to mention stubborn, and so he stayed in his study, or was running around with different servants and community members all day. He did his best to conduct his business as excellently as ever, despite how very unwell he was beginning to feel.

When their paths would cross later in the day though, she could see he was flagging. His cough had become quite the nuisance, and his nose and lips were raw and chapped. Dark circles began to show under his eyes, vivid against sickly pallor. Every now and again, she heard a massive, wet sneeze disturb the air from wherever he was. She gave him sympathetic smiles and little encouragements whenever she could, but what she truly wanted was to see him to bed and tend to his every need there. The misery on his face made her ache for him. If only he wasn’t so proud. And yes, stubborn.

She was quite relieved when he joined her at their evening meal, wearily announcing he was done working for the day, and she told him such. He was quiet and withdrawn for the remainder of the evening, aside from his frequent sniffles and coughs, and the occasional explosive sneeze, which never failed to make her jump, even as they became more and more frequent. 

Taking his lead, she also said very little, reading exhaustion in every line of his frame, especially as his sneezes and coughs harshened. If she had been another woman, and he another man (indeed, her parents came to mind), she would have said again that she wished he would take the day off tomorrow. But it was not in her to nag, and if she had he would only have become angry, or withdrawn completely. She had said her part this morning, and she knew he had heard her and remembered. What he did from here was his choice alone. 

She watched him unobtrusively as he dozed by the fire that evening, feeling such love in her breast for her dedicated, hardworking husband, but no small amount of worry either. They had been married nearly three years, and she had never once seen him ill. She hoped it was truly only trifling, as he kept insisting it was whenever anyone asked. 

They went to bed earlier than usual, her feigning equal tiredness for his sake, so he wouldn’t feel he was being a burden. But indeed, all she wanted of the rest of this day was to lie beside him in bed, perhaps rub his back, and just be near him for whatever he needed. To her delight, that is exactly what happened. He said very little, and asked for nothing, stifling sneezes now and again even as his frequent, chesty coughing fits worsened, but merely lay beside her and let her rub away at his aches and chills as he fell asleep.

3.

Darcy and Eliza were both early risers, and both loved to greet the day while it was still fresh and full of promise. Being the man though, Mr. Darcy was always up and about before his wife, for it took him far less time to dress, and there were several things he liked to see to before breakfast, though he never neglected to kiss her goodbye as he left.

Imagine her surprise then, when the next morning found him still soundly asleep beside her when her maids came in to help her dress at their usual time. The sound of their arrival woke her, but her poor husband hardly stirred. She hurried out of bed, calming the poor, startled ladies in hushed tones, assuring them they had done no wrong. They helped her dress and fix her hair simply and comfortably before Elizabeth shooed them out again, saying she wasn’t sure what they should tell the other staff, as she had no idea what mind her husband would be in when he finally woke. 

Lizzie sighed as they left. Now it would be all over the house that he was sick abed, and who knew what other irrepressible rumors. He would hate that. However, at present it was the truth so he would just have to deal with it whenever he woke. In the meantime, she picked up her book and read in the chair by the fire, wanting to be close when he woke.

That turned out to be shortly thereafter. He first began to toss and turn a bit, then he started to cough, then he nearly made her jump out of her chair with one of his tremendous sneezes. 

“Heh -KER- CHUUUUHHF!” The noise was thick and miserable-sounding, more than hinting at painfully clogged sinuses and a raw, scratchy throat. While he was mopping the mess from his face with his handkerchief, his lungs decided to take their turn at clearing themselves as well, and he erupted into a series of wet, strenuous coughs. 

She made her way to his side during this sad display, gently stroking his tousled hair as he quieted. He groaned softly when he was able and pressed into her embrace, still holding the handkerchief to his nose, eliciting a cluck of sympathy from his wife at his sorry state.

“My poor dear,” she murmured. “Your health is much worse this morning.”

“Mby head is like a lead weight od the pillow,” he croaked. “Fatigue weighs dowd mby limbs dreadfully.”

“Then you will not work today?”

“Mby wise wife advised that I look after mby body more, and today mby body tells mbe I must rest, so rest I shall,” he murmured sleepily. “As long as you’ll keeb mbe company?”

“I would love nothing more. This is perhaps not the leisurely day we had hoped for, but I’ll accept it just the same." She tenderly caressed his cheek, frowning as she felt it. "You are terribly feverish, darling." Yet she hardly needed to feel, for just by looking at his flushed, sweaty face and seeing him shake with chills, the fever made its presence known.

"And yet I'mb chilled to the bone. I had forgotten how beastly udpleasant it is to catch cold," he rasped with a thick sniffle.

"Indeed, it makes one feel for your poor sister all the more. It seems she is laid up with a cold every other week. Now, how does tea appeal to you? And perhaps some food? You hardly touched supper last night."

"Tea would be lovely. Mby abbetite still eludes me however. But, if only to please you, I would try sumb toast and an egg."

Lizzie had servants running for his requests in short order while Darcy tended to his nose, blowing it over and over, soaking through more than one handkerchief. His tray was delivered in record time. Seeing it arrive, Darcy slowly levered himself to a sitting position, pressing a hand to his temple.

"Mby head is throbbi'g," he mumbled.

Elizabeth pressed the cup of tea into his hands, looking sympathetic. "Drink some. It may help your head."

He did as he was bid, drawing his knees to his chest like a boy as he drank while she rubbed his back. However, another tremendous sneeze almost made him spill the whole thing. 

“Ah- ah- KITCHSHOOOOO! Ugh…” He sought his handkerchief desperately, and when Elizabeth handed it to him, he pressed it harshly against his streaming nose to stem the flow, groaning as he did. Elizabeth hastily took the teacup from his again, for it seemed in danger of being upended at any moment.

"Bless you! My poor dear, what can I do for you? Besides keeping a stack of handkerchiefs here for your poor nose."

"I would ask you to help mbe dress in a few moments," he said, his voice muffled behind the fabric as he tried to rub away the headache between his eyes. "While I will be as quick as I cad, I must speak to mby steward and give hib sumb idstructions for mby absence."

"Can you not write him instead? I fear for you going out in the cold, lest this settles in your chest."

"Mby head aches too miserably to do a probber job with writing. I fear I would forget somethi'g crucial. Ndo, I'll quickly  go dowd and speak to hib, and thed I'll return. Ndo going outside for mbe today, never fear."

She sighed and nodded, knowing he would not be dissuaded. "At least finish your tea and try some egg before you go so you don't collapse on the stairs."

"I'mb far from collapse mby dear, I assure you." His general appearance said otherwise though, as he had been miserably coughing into his handkerchief throughout the whole conversation, and had yet to stop shivering. However, she held her tongue and served him breakfast instead. 

Lizzie saw he made an effort to eat as much as he could, and though it was only a few bites, she was slightly placated. She knew he would not relax until he had set what affairs he could in order. So, after his tea was gone, when he rose and began to dress, she assisted him, for she realized the sooner he left, the sooner he would return.

"I'd rather not ri'g for mby valet, as I'd be worried I would sdeeze on hib," muttered Darcy, looking embarrassed as she straightened his jacket while he futilely tried to blow his nose, which only served to make him cough yet again.

"It's no trouble at all, dear. Only please hurry back. I truly worry for that cough." 

"I'll be back under your watchful eye as quick as I cad, dearest," he murmured, grazing her ear with his lips as she slipped an extra handkerchief in his pocket. With that, he was gone, his boots thumping down the hall wearily.

~~~~~~~~~~

Time dragged as she waited for him. While she knew he could take care of himself and she didn't need to be here the moment he returned, she also knew he would want her to be. Her husband was a strong man, but at times like these, he depended on her, and she was not about to disappoint him. So, while there were plenty of things she could have seen to around the manor herself, she waited in his sitting room with her needlework, keeping the fire high. 

Finally she heard him in the hall. She rushed to open the door as he shuffled in, looking spent. 

 "Darcy dear! I expected you an hour ago!"  she said, helping him shed his coat. Suddenly she felt his shoulders hitch under her hands as his breath scissored:

"Ktt-tsshhEEW!" The wet spraying sneeze was his response, only partially stifled by the sodden handkerchief he held. She blessed him worriedly as he again mopped his face.

"I'mb sorry, dearest," he finally managed. "I was stobbed many tibes between mby study and here to answer questions. I cabe as quick as I could."

He fell wearily into the chair nearest the fire with a deep groan and a deeper cough. He bent to try and remove his boots, but his efforts were hampered, as his nose streamed dreadfully if he bent over. He had to keep a hand pressed to his face as he tried to undo the fastenings with the other. 

Elizabeth knelt in front of him and gently pushed his hands away, loosening and removing the boots herself as he leaned back in the chair, sniffling wetly. 

"Thagk you, mby love," he croaked. 

"Here, have some more tea, I've just had Mary bring some. There, now what suits you best? Shall we cover you warmly and sit here by the fire, or would you like me to fetch you some soup? I won't ask if you want to call for Dr. Bishop yet since I know what you'll say, though I have half a mind to."

"There's ndo need for the doctor," replied her husband. "Whad I most want right now is to lie dowd and sleeb sumb few hours yed. Mby mind is sluggish. I cad hardly grasp on a thought except how exhausted I amb."

"Then take my arm and let's get you to bed, poor man. I imagine some more sleep will do wonders for you."

"I don't need help walki'g mby dear, I'm not invalid, only full of cold." Even still, he took her proffered arm as he stood and rested a hand on her shoulder warmly as she led him to the bedroom.

"That may be, but I'll see you there myself just the same to make sure there's no distractions along the way." She kissed his hand and caressed it fondly as they made their way to the bed. She helped him remove all the clothes she had helped him don not long before and replace them with his nightshirt. While he clearly needed to sleep, he also seemed loath to let her out of his sight. He remained sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment with her pressed against his side. She scratched his back fondly. 

“You should lie down, dear. You’re more asleep than awake.”

Instead, he wrapped his arms around her unexpectedly, burying his face in her abdomen with a weary sigh. Elizabeth was slightly startled, but gladly reciprocated the embrace, burying her face in his hair. Her husband was an affectionate man, but not usually physically so. This gesture from him, while not at all unwelcome, was unexpected. 

“I feel terrible,” he groaned, barely audible, leaning most of his weight against her. “Mby body runs amok with mbe.”

“So it seems. I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t wish this cold of yours on anyone.”  

She held him for a few peaceful moments. Just as she was about to again suggest he lie down, for it seemed he was in danger of falling asleep against her, his back twitched violently and he tried to pull away.

“heh-GIHH’CHOOOO! Hehht-kk’CHOOOOOF!” 

Neither had time to react as poor Mr. Darcy sneezed thickly, his face still pressed against his startled wife. She couldn't suppress a little gasp as he pulled away, stammering apologies and wiping his traitorous nose. 

She was silent a moment appraising the state of her dress, then an unladylike snort of laughter escaped her, sending her into a little fit of giggles even as she comforted her overwrought husband, pressing him gently back against the pillows. 

“It’s all right, my love. Such things happen. ‘Tis only a dress, and I have plenty more. It seems neither of us are coming away from this cold of yours unscathed. But there now, you’re completely spent. You can hardly keep your eyes open, red as they are. Take some more rest, my love.”

“You’re too good to mbe,” he croaked, fighting against his heavy eyelids but already nearly asleep, the handkerchief still in his limp hand on the bed.

She reached out, caressing his face and brushing hair from his brow. “No more of that. Close your eyes and sleep, for how else do you expect to get better?” She clucked her tongue softly again. “You really are painfully warm, poor man. It is most worrisome,” she said, more to herself than him.

“I’ll be alright,” he mumbled, the last word turning into a snore as he finally gave in to the needs of his body.

~~~~~~~~~~

4.

That was to be the last interaction Mr. Darcy would remember for quite some time. He fell into a deep sleep then, and everything that happened over the next few days would be blurred flashes in his mind at best, hazed by illness and fever.

Of course, the same could not be said for Elizabeth. After he fell asleep, she left him and tended to some of her duties around the manor (after changing her gown, naturally). She did not want to hover in the sickroom, both for her sake and his, so she forced herself to stay away for several hours, knowing he would ring if he needed something.

Still, in the late afternoon she returned, unable to stay away any longer. He was exactly as she had left him, snoring softly. He didn’t seem to have moved at all in his sleep, which was most unlike him. She again went to feel his forehead, sensing something amiss. He was much warmer than before. A knot of worry pulsing in her heart, she tried to shake him awake. He opened his eyes and seemed to look at her, but she could tell he wasn’t truly awake, and didn’t respond when she spoke to him, only grunted and coughed, trying to roll over and sleep again. 

Without further ado, she sent for Doctor Bishop, pacing the halls outside Darcy’s rooms until he arrived, wringing her hands in worry and opening the door to check on her husband every few minutes, to ensure he got no worse.  

The doctor arrived quickly, heading right into the sickroom. He did a thorough examination, listening to Mr. Darcy’s heart and lungs, checking his pulse and 100 other things. Darcy woke briefly a few times, but only managed answers of a word or less before he dozed off again. His large frame looked somehow both bigger and smaller than it should, curled up limply on the bed, with only his breathing as evidence of life. After he was through, the wise doctor scrutinized his patient, deep in thought. Elizabeth remained silent, waiting with baited breath. Finally the doctor turned to her. 

“You said he’s been overworking himself and run down lately, yes?”

“Yes, doctor. Business has been troubling him of late.”

“Hm. So it seems. Well, overall his vital signs are normal for a man with a cold. I see nothing overly alarming, excepting the high fever. That is a touch worrisome, but can at times be seen in such cases. No, I don’t fear any illness has befallen him except what you’ve said, a bad cold. I think he’s simply exhausted, and this cold has caught up with him and brought everything down at once. I’ll wager the fever will subside in a day or two, and the rest in the days after that as long as he gets the rest he sorely needs. I shan’t prescribe him anything except what he already has here with you, Mrs. Darcy. Let him sleep as much as he wants, keep him hydrated and don’t cover him too warmly, and I think this will run its course soon enough.”

It was as if great weight fell off her shoulders as he spoke. “Oh, thank you doctor! Indeed, I shall do just as you say, and make sure he does as well.”

“Please do. The stubbornness of the Darcys is well known to me, for my father and his father have been treating this family for generations. I’ll come round to see him every day until I’m satisfied he’s on the mend, if that suits you.”

“Oh, yes please, and thank you kindly. You have my deepest gratitude, sir.”

“My pleasure, madame. Until tomorrow.” He tipped his hat and was gone.

With a huge sigh of relief, Elizabeth collapsed on the chair at her husband’s bedside. After a moment, she found his hand under the quilt and held it, needing to feel his touch, even if in unconsciousness. After a moment, he unexpectedly squeezed it. She looked up to see his eyes were fluttering closed, but his face was angled toward her now. She took a moment to appreciate that fine face, though currently his nose, cheeks, and eyes were matching shades of red against the sickly pallor over the rest of him.

She sighed and softly kissed his hand. “Get well soon, my dear.”

He certainly took his time doing so, or so it seemed to Eliza. Either she or Georgiana were at his side at all times. He slept constantly, barely waking even to drink water. He spoke hardly at all and asked for nothing. He would intermittently shake with chills, or else sweat profusely. He sneezed in thick, messy fits, several at a time, but then would go hours between, until the sensation again overpowered and woke him. He coughed more often, since that it seemed he could do even as he slept. 

Yes, he slept, but he was overall restless. Noise in the room roused him. He stirred when he was touched. He stirred when he coughed. He woke when he sneezed. His sleep didn’t seem peaceful, which was perhaps why he never fully woke, because he wasn’t fully resting. 

The first night, Elizabeth slept in her own rarely-used bedroom (she much preferred sharing his), wanting him (and herself) to rest as much as possible. The second night though, she was achingly lonely, missing his touch, his voice, and his smile. So, she crawled into her usual place beside him in his bed, pressing herself against him. She found herself cold, as she had been since he was ill from the worry, so his warmth was more than pleasant. 

She herself relaxed immediately as soon as she was against him, but more surprisingly, so did he. He didn’t wake and hardly stirred when he felt her, but his breathing quickly deepened and he relaxed more fully as they rested against each other. Basking in the sensation of enjoying one another’s touch, they both slept the whole night that way. 

~~~~~~~~~~

More than 48 hours after he first fell asleep, Darcy finally woke up completely. Naturally, it was a sneeze that did it. 

“Heh’gihh’CHUUUHFF! AHHGK-CHOOOF! … ow….”

Something in the tone made Lizzie turn. She had been sitting facing the fire with her needlework, but glancing at the bed, she saw her husband sitting up, one hand to his temple, the other wiping his nose, and looking aware of his surroundings for the first time in 2 days. She dashed to his side, feeling his forehead at once.

“Bless you, dear. My, but it’s good to see you awake! Oh, and your fever is much decreased, how wonderful! How do you feel? Is your head hurting you? Here, drink some water, the doctor said you’re likely dehydrated…”

She wanted to prattle on, but she saw he was a bit overwhelmed, so she forced her tongue to be still. She gently grasped his hands, to calm him as well as herself, and kissed them fondly. She then handed him a glass of water, and he drank gratefully as she looked him over. He seemed a bit better, but he continued to look around in a dazed way.”

“Have I been asleeb long?” he finally rasped, his voice totally gone, and still stuffed tight with congestion.

“I would say so. It’s been two days darling.” She did her best to keep the worry and accusation out of her voice. He couldn’t help that he’d been ill.”

“Two days?! Good heavens.” He fell back against the pillows with a groan and a cough. “Ndo wonder I feel so sluggish.”

“Yes, but it seems you needed it. The doctor has been out every day, and he says you were suffering from exhaustion. Your body was taking the rest it sorely needed.”

“So it seebs.” He rubbed his eyes wearily.

“How are you feeling? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Sumb better, I thingk,” he said with a wet sniffle. “Less fevered. I am still weary, and will sleep another night soundly through, but I hope I’m on the mend now.”

“As do I.” She kissed his hand again, squeezing it tightly.

~~~~~~~~~~

5.

Mr. Darcy was indeed on the mend. He was moving about his rooms freely the next day, and 2 days after that, he was allowed by the doctor (and his wife, grudgingly) to resume his duties, though at a reduced basis, for his cough still lingered, along with some fatigue. Yet he was incredibly cheerful to be leaving his rooms, and everywhere he went, he had a spring in his step.

That same day he was freed found Elizabeth curled on the settee in her rarely-used personal sitting room, wrapped in a coverlet and trying to read. However, her dripping nose and throbbing headache prevented her from making much progress in the story. 

A barking cough burst out of her against her will, making her drop her book. With a feeble groan, she reached down to retrieve it, holding a handkerchief to her streaming nose. She had known she likely wouldn’t escape catching her husband’s cold, but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant. However, she was not about to spoil his first day of freedom with her own illness, so she was hiding here to avoid him as long as she could.

Just as she was thinking this, she heard his boots in the hall, and she suppressed another groan. He knocked softly, then peeked in the door, looking happy as well as confused when he saw her.

“Mary said I might find you here, but I thought she must be mistaken. Whatever are you doing? I was hoping to meet you for tea.”

She took a breath to answer, but instead the urge to sneeze snuck up on her. She shoved her elbow against her face, turning away from him to stifle the stubborn urge harshly:

“HXXT’GH! HNNKT! HXXTCH! Guh…” she mumbled at the end, which turned into a painful cough that she hardly had breath for.

Darcy was at her side in a moment, kneeling by her arm and feeling her forehead just as she had his so many times the past few days. Concern and regret crossed his face. “You have a fever, dearest. It seems I’ve shared my cold with you,” he said, stifling a little cough.

“You always were the gentleman, never failing to share with a lady,” she groused weakly.

His low chuckle was warm. “I’m truly sorry. Yet I heard you hardly left the bedchamber while I was ill, so I suppose it was inevitable.”

“Especially since you sneezed on me,” she mumbled, trying not to smile.

“Indeed,” he chuckled again. “I’m sorry for that as well. But now, enough talk. Rest your voice. Come up to bed and I’ll see you get some tea and toast.”

“Perhaps I don’t want to go to bed, did that occur to you? I’ve spent all week in that bedchamber and I’d prefer to not be forced to go back,” she muttered petulantly. 

“I can tell you’re feeling unwell, for you’re never so irritable. That more than anything tells me I must see you to bed immediately.” His tone indicated some teasing, but mostly seriousness. Without further ado, he scooped her up in one motion and stood, carrying her toward their bedchamber, a little smile playing around his lips. 

“Why you--! I’ve never been thus treated in my entire life. Put me down, you terrible man!” Yet she couldn’t keep from laughing, miserable though she was, which of course turned into a cough. She hadn’t felt so ill in a long time. In fact, the overwhelming urge to sneeze was coming over her again. She struggled weakly to free her arms from where he had them pinned, but it was too late: 

“Hhh’rrrrushh’eeeew! Herrr’CHEW! Hihhh’knn’CHOOF!” She sneezed explosively against his chest, covering them both in the spray. His steps paused as he looked down at her, open-mouthed, while she stared back, reddening in embarrassment, but slightly triumphant.

“...bless you, my Lizzie,” Darcy finally said, an odd smile on his face.

“Thank you. I’m terribly sorry!... But what choice did I have, when I can’t move my arms? Now we’re even, I suppose.”

“Indeed,” he chuckled again as he resumed walking. “And I suppose if you must sneeze on someone, it’s best if it’s me, as I can’t very well catch this cold again. But all the more reason for me to see you to bed. You look a mess. In the loveliest possible way, of course.”

“How charming you are, Mr. Darcy. You have quite a way of flattering a woman.”

He chuckled again, but by this time they had reached his bedchamber. He deposited her on the bed with the utmost gentleness, and proceeded to assist her in changing into more comfortable clothes. She shivered miserably as she changed so that her teeth nearly chattered. Darcy tucked her in warmly and quickly rang for some tea, then began to remove his own boots and coat. She watched him curiously, though with heavy eyes, for she suddenly she found herself exhausted. With pleasure she realized he planned to join her in bed. 

He did just that a few moments later, pulling her close against himself and wrapping her in his big, warm arms. She nuzzled in gratefully with a sniffle and a cough. He buried his face in her hair as they settled, coughing as well. 

“What are you doing, Darcy dear? I thought you had many things to do today,” she mumbled, already nearing sleep. “You’ve had so many days off yourself. You needn’t take another for me, though it seems we’re quite a mess still.”

“This has become the most important thing I must do today,” he yawned. “You were a saint to look after me this whole week, so now I must return the favor. I’m not likely to let an opportunity pass to spend time with you after these past weeks, for I’ve learned my lesson.  And I too am already weary, for this cold hasn’t quite left me. A nap would suit me fine, especially if I can warm you in the process.” 

When a servant arrived with tea, no one greeted him, and when he opened the door with the tray, he found it best to simply leave it nearby and duck out again, for Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were fast asleep. 

[op-sheepy]

ok so I'm particularly interested in

Bellamy Law

Law and Bible stuff

Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

shichibukai applications

reverse hanahaki disease (?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

if you feel like elaborating on any of these!

This is gonna get long and I actually contemplated posting them separately but would that have been more work? Yeah, that felt like more work so for anyone interested, check under the cut. :D

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Bellamy Law

Hm… This would be an attempt to explore the parallels and contrasts between Bellamy and Law. I've always found it fascinating that the former was a foil to the latter.

They both come from well-off  towns in the North Blue.

Bellamy left because of boredom. Law had no choice because Flevance.

Both ended up seeking Doflamingo  because of  his notoriety as a pirate. Both admired him initially

Doffy favored one over the other though. Bellamy always sought his approval but was never really part of the inner circle Doflamingo cared about.

Law got the dubious privilege of being part of the family despite being absent for so long. Even offered one of the highest seats by Doffy's side for seemingly nothing.

Law had no trouble turning his back on Doffy once he realized the man's nature. Bellamy tried to stick to his principles until the end despite admitting that he new he was wrong.

Bellamy can (and did) quit piracy after his ordeal with Doflamingo. Having the option to live peacefully, perhaps a return to his previous life (the one he considered boring). Law can't do that quite as easily what with his Devil fruit and his reputation.

I thought it would be interesting trying to explore what Bellamy was thinking. Did he hear the Donquixote Pirates talk about their missing 'family'? Did he get to see Doffy be amused at Law's rise as a Supernova while he kept being reminded of his own status? Did Law save Bellamy partially because he also saw what he could have been had Corazon not saved him?

On principle, Bellamy should have hated Trafalgar Law. Does. Bastard even saved him without him wanting it. But there was something about the shadows haunting those eyes and Bellamy started to wonder.

He had heard the family talk about Law before. The child personally taught by Doflamingo, chosen to be his right hand. Never was he compared to the man because Law was just obviously better. Smarter. Stronger. Bellamy was ever just an uncouth thug.

He was allowed to 'borrow' Doflamingo's symbol while Law had an empty seat waiting for his return–a seat Bellamy had wanted enough to risk everything for.

Maybe he had resented, Trafalgar Law for carelessly rejecting the things he had that Bellamy had always desired. In the end too, Trafalgar Law did prove to be better. He'd done as a child what Bellamy had trouble doing even as he was now.

But having been given the chance to observe the other man as they all recovered, he wondered, perhaps for the first time, whether despite Law being better than Bellamy, Bellamy had had it better–barring the poor life choices.

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Law and Bible stuff

This is just me wanting to know how many biblical parallels and themes I can draw from Law, the Donquixote brothers, the characters associated with them, and his backstory. Honestly not sure whether this would become a fic and in what style or I'm gonna give up and just make it a post.

Not gonna elaborate on them much but here are the ideas in more bullet points (yay):

Law gets familiar with all four horsemen of the apocalypse: conquest, war, famine, and death. He even survives them.

Law is like the son in the parable of the prodigal son to the Donquixote pirates. Except the themes are inverted.

Doflamingo and Rocinante -> Cain and Abel

Ope Ope no Mi -> Granting eternal life by sacrificing one's own life

Gods descending or living among humans. Also, Homing and his family being prosecuted for other people's sins.

That scene where they were hanged by their arms outstretched looks like a crucifixion. Also, Rocinante was on the right while Doflamingo was on the left. Similar to how the penitent thief was on the right and the unrepentant one to the left.

Flevance being considered a paradise with walls/fences/gates and somewhere Law cannot return to.

In the panel where the Donquixote pirates are seated at the table, there were thirteen of them with Doffy at the center. Same as The Last Supper

There are a lot more of these (David and Goliath, Solomon, Jonah, Job, etc.) but I kinda lost the notes and some are more visual so I can't really explain it too well. This would is a drabble series to emphasize or highlight the parallels so no proper snippet for this one.

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Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

Originally an idea to get around most of the Heart Pirates being nameless but evolved to include other characters as kids. Chopper is a kindergarten teacher and he convinces Law to take over his class for a week because somehow Law has the qualifications to and free time. Naturally, he wasn't able to say no.

Unfortunately, despite not being terrible at handling children, Chopper's class is filled with menaces. Also, despite not being terrible, Law can still be awkward so...

"Mr. Trofao–fargar—"

"Trafalgar."

The kid—which one was this one again? Shit, he should really get them name plates or something—scrunched up his face and tried harder, "Tar-pal—"

"Law. Just call me Law."

"Mr. Low"—eh, close enough—"can I go to the bathroom?" Wide imploring eyes stared up at him.

"Sure, go ahead." Law gestured towards the exit of the classroom with his head.

The kid just stared expectantly at him and he tried to suppress the need to narrow his eyes.

"Is there… anything else?"

"Mr. Chopper always comes with me to hold my hand."

Really?

"Mr. Chopper isn't here. You should practice doing it on your own now." He said after a deep inhale.

"But the monsters might get me…"

"No, they won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do." Before the kid could open his mouth again to argue, he added, "Besides, children taste terrible so you're safe."

The kid looked stricken and took a step back from him. Uh oh. Glistening eyes, wobbling lower lip… "Alright! I'll go with you." The kid did not look reassured. In fact he looked like going alone with Law was the last thing he wanted to do. Guess, he kinda implied that he ate children didn't he? Oops.

Well, the kid needs to go and he's not going to be cleaning up after him if he wets himself.

Law glanced at the rest of the children. It was Arts and Craft time and they seemed preoccupied enough. Still, Law doubted Chopper ever left these kids alone–already he could see some of them glancing up at him, waiting for him to leave no doubt to cause trouble. That Monkey kid in particular looked extremely suspicious.

He stood up from his crouch and clapped twice to get everyone's attention.

"Alright. Fall in line. Single file."

There was some grumbling and questioning directed at him. "What's going on?"

Law shrugged. "You're all going to the bathroom."

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Shichibukai Application Forms

Crackfic where the World Government and relevant parties review various Shichbukai Applications. Most submitted by the pirates applying themselves, some produced by their own staff. They discuss and debate. As well as judge pirate resumes.

She scanned the document. Terrible format, really. If you fail to impress within the first page, you've failed entirely. There just wasn't anyone promising enough in this batch of applications or any of the other ones before. The last one had been that clown. "Apprentice to the Pirate King," was a pretty hefty credential.

"Oh, how about this one? Three years experience pillaging, and they even listed all the towns they looted." One of the newly transferred administrative staff said.

"None of these are worth considering at all. You know, when Mihawk was asked to submit his application, he hadn't bothered with all of this. He just sent us a card with his name on it and the title "World's Strongest Swordsman," underneath."

The staff perked up. "Oh, there was an application like that." There was scramble and some shuffling before a plain white card was produced. "Here."

"'From Trafalgar Law'. What does this even mean?"

"Well, it did come with a big box..."

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Reverse Hanahaki Disease

(?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

Haha. At first it was going to be that way (because it is hilarious) but the inflicted would probably choke to death too soon. Or if both enemies had it, they'd end up just coughing flowers at each other until they stopped being enemies.

The version I ended up going with was that this variant of Hanahaki, instead of afflicting those with unrequited love, affected those in denial instead. The reverse part comes from the original idea that this would usually happen if you somehow fell in love with your nemesis (someone you originally hated). So it's not the thought that the other person can't love you, it's that you can't accept that you love that other person. You get cured by confessing to the person sincerely.

This is actually another KidLaw (surprise!). And the flower coughed up directly represents the person they're in love with (I went with Oda's flower representation for them because I found it funny for plot)

So the idea is that, you get sick but you don't automatically know (maybe) who it is because that's part of being in denial. Kid and Law have many enemies after all. In this story they both get it though not exactly at the same time and not known to the other.

He survived Amber Lead Syndrome only to be killed off by a stupid flower disease that apparently knows more about his own feelings than he does.

He glared at the petals. Tulips. Red.

An image of a cocky grin and a shock of red hair flashed through his mind and—nope. That's not right.

He coughed harder, tears stinging his eyes with the effort. More flowers. Now he has enough for a bouquet.

Alright, he was a doctor. He could do this. Differential time.

First, which variant does he have. He doesn't particularly feel unloved or hopeless. There wasn't anyone he wanted in particular to love him. Ok, nothing. It was maybe safe to say he had that other variant.

Which was stupid because Law had many enemies and he hated all of them.

And cue the racking coughs. More red. He was very familiar with that particular shade.

New theory. This was a new variant that somehow makes you sick when you think of the person you hated the most.

Yes, that had to be it. He thought as he all but collapsed on the floor from the sudden paroxysm.

I knew this was gonna get long. :) Oh well...

Thank you for playing. :D

[simmonsofshield]

Reassignment

Part 1/1

Pairing: none Characters: Kate Beckett, Kevin Ryan, Javier Esposito, Jemma Simmons, Philip Coulson

Summary: Amidst clean up after the Battle of New York, things happen and Officer Y/N ends up in the quinjet’s medical bay.

Words: 1900+

A/N:  Unplanned, but I guess in honor of my url change, Jemma has a small feature in this fic! This was originally gonna be a copy-paste of one of my fics from wattpad, but then I wanted to make it more accurate to New York so 98% of this is new writing. So much for trying to cut corners. 🤷😂 Loose tie-ins of Agents of SHIELD and Castle. (Characters, not really the shows..) Canonically, Skye (Daisy) wouldn’t have her powers yet, but my story my rules lol. So she does. Three weeks late (I was suppose to post this on the 1st), but at least I got it done, right? This is for @fanfictionaries​‘s classic trope challenge. I chose police au. Takes place after Avengers.

Police codes key: 12-David-19 [Precinct # - city section - police car id] used 9th precinct as reference 10-50 Disorderly (group, person, noise) non-crime 10-10 Possible crime (many tags, the one i use is P, suspicious person/prowler)

“Here’s what’s going on today,” Captain Beckett begins, “it’s been almost six months since the Battle of New York. Midtown South is still asking for help with crowd control and patrol of the area, as most of their officers are helping with clean up. I told them the 12th Precinct is happy to help as long as it doesn’t interfere with our daily patrols. Today they’re only asking for two, so Ryan and Esposito, it’s on you today. Just make sure no weirdos or teens with sticky fingers try to get in the rubble.”

“Yes Captain.”

“L/N, my office, please.”

You look at her with surprise, then over to the boys. Ryan is the first to speak, rolling his eyes, “Of course. Little Y/N getting special treatment once again. I bet you’re getting put on a really cool case. You know, she’s basically training you to be a mini her.”

You roll your eyes back at him, “Sounds like you’re just jealous because I rose to this rank in half the time it took you.”

“Ooooo...” Esposito calls from his desk, “want some ice for that burn?”

“Shut up,” he mumbles as he slumps back in his chair.

You laugh as you walk to Beckett’s office, the door being closed behind you. You start to get worried when she starts shutting the blinds too. “Captain?”

She sets a file in front of you and begins explaining. “Though Kevin was joking, he wasn’t wrong. You have impressed me since you came here from the academy. You were the youngest to be promoted to detective, and your persistence hasn’t gone unnoticed. Which is why I think you’re perfect for this particular assignment.”

She nods to the file, and you pick it up, opening it. Your brows furrow at the first page and you look back up at her, “I don’t understand. Philip Coulson died on a helicarrier before the attack on New York even happened. Didn’t Loki kill him or whatever?”

“Originally, yes.”

“Originally?”

“Most if it is redacted and classified, but what was released - specifically for you in this file, turn the page - was that some experimental tech was used and more or less brought him back to life.”

You read exactly that as she says it, but you’re left with more questions than answers with every page turn. “What do you mean specifically for me? How many people know he’s alive?”

She blows out some air, sitting down at her desk to look you in the eye, “Only SHIELD level 7 and above. We are of only a few civilians that know. This cannot leave this room. The only others that know are ones that will be a part of this team that Agent Coulson is putting together alongside Agent Maria Hill and Director Fury.”

Again, more questions. “But...I’m a homicide detective...not SHIELD...” You pause for a moment as you try to form a question with all the information that is now in your mind, “Why me?” is what you come up with.

She shrugs, “That’s a question for Coulson or Hill. I can’t answer it. You’ll work today but after that you’ll be with SHIELD and Coulson,” she nods back to the file, “I suggest you finish reading through that tonight.” She stands up and walks toward the door.

“I’m sorry, Captain, one last question,” she lets go of the door handle and turns around, “what does all this mean for this job? Am I like fired or something?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” she says with a smile, “Agent Hill and I already discussed the technicalities, but basically what will be said is that you’re going undercover with SHIELD for a big operation and you’ll be gone for a few weeks. Which, really, isn’t that much of a lie.”

You nodded, somewhat understanding, “Yes, ma’am. See you in a few weeks, I guess.”

She also nods, smiling, “Likewise, detective.”

Nearing the end of your shift, you’re about to head back to the station when there’s an aggravated call on the scanner. “10-50. These crowds are getting out of hand. More officers needed in Midtown near Grand Central.”

You go back and forth in your head for a moment before deciding to respond, “Dispatch, add 12-David-19 to that 10-50 call. En route from East Village. ETA about 20 minutes.” You turn on your lights and try to get there as fast as you can.

Arriving on scene, you park about four blocks away, at Park and 38th, which is as close as you can get with all the rubble and destroyed buildings. This is the main drag of where most of the Avenger’s fight happened. It’s no surprise that half of New York is here to see the damage, even six months later.

Now on foot, you’re about halfway to Grand Central Station when you hear the breaking of glass and catch some suspicious activity out of the corner of your eye. You follow, talking into your radio, “This is 12-David-19. I’ve got a 10-10P. Kids breaking windows of businesses. It doesn’t look like they’ve stolen anything yet. I’m going to keep an eye on them. Requesting one or two officers for backup if anyone can leave Grand Central Station. 40th street, headed NorthEast.”

You casually follow at a distance until all of a sudden, “Whoa, dudes, check this out!” One of the kids picks up a weapon of some sort. Clearly not of this world and from the Battle, you’re 99% sure. He poses with it and one of his friends takes a picture of him with their phone. “I wonder what this button does.”

“Ahh!” Whatever came out of the weapon hits you directly in the shoulder and you fall to the ground. This is the first time the group of kids notice your presence. They fight for a moment, deciding whether to run or help. A groan from you cuts their argument short and most leave, while two stay.

By what you can tell with your blurry vision, they seem to be brothers. The one walking towards you is clearly friends with the ones that fled, while the other is younger. If you had to guess, you’d say early high school, 14-16, and 12ish for their ages.

You grab your radio and talk into it softly. Hopefully someone will be able to hear you. “Ambulance needed at location of 10-10. Officer down, shot with some sort of alien weapon.”

The older one kneels beside you and takes off his shirt, wrapping it around your wound, attempting to make a tourniquet. You let out a raspy laugh. It’s not quite right, but you appreciate the attempt. “You seem to know what you’re doing.”

You can see the fear still on his face but he smiles nonetheless, “I’ve seen a few medical shows. I think this is right.”

“Anything to slow the bleeding. You’re doing good. What’s your name?”

“Derek Saunders. Am I going to jail?”

“N-no, why would you think that?”

“My friend shot you. Aren’t I an accessory or whatever?”

You shake your head, “You watch cop shows too?” you joke.

“My dad’s a cop. He’s helping at Grand Central right now.”

You cough out another laugh. How convenient. You’re about to tell him to call his dad on your radio when you hear another blast. It feels like it happens in slow motion. You watch as the burst of energy goes up at an angle and hits the building next to where you’re laying. You hear the boy yell something in the opposite direction, you’re assuming at his brother, who most likely got curious and picked up the alien weapon. You see the huge pieces of building falling towards you and Derek.

You let out a scream, though you’re not sure how loud it is due to your blood loss and how tired you’re getting. You close your eyes, knowing the inevitable is going to happen, and just waiting for it. You feel the ground rumble and try to open your eyes to understand what's going on, but you can’t.

Your world goes black.

You wake up to the sound of steady beeping. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the brightness of the fluorescent lights, but once you do you begin to panic. You know this is medical equipment and you’re in a room of some sort, but you’re not sure, something doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t seem like a hospital room.

You hear the whooshing of an automatic door sliding open. “It’s okay, officer. No need to panic. You are in great hands.” A pleasant British voice says to you. It does put you at ease a little.

The brunette seems to be taking your vitals or something at the moment, writing on a clipboard. You clear your throat, “Uh..where am I?”

“Oh of course,” she smiles embarrassedly, “welcome to the Bus. We’re with SHIELD. You’re safe.” she reassures.

“The Bus?” you raise an eyebrow.

“Yes,” your eyes shoot to the new voice, “welcome aboard.”

“Agent Coulson.” You try to sit up, but the pain in your shoulder stops you. You wince and lay back down.

“I assumed our meeting would be under better circumstances, but this’ll have to do.” he says with a smile. “Thank you, Simmons.” he nods at the girl and she leaves.

“What happened?”

“We heard your call on 40th.”

“Were you tracking me?”

“No,” he scoffs, “just making sure you didn’t get hurt before we got to meet you. Kinda failed at that, huh?”

You can’t help but chuckle a little, “Okay, but how the heck did I....” you trailed off, trying to think of how to word your question.

“Not die?” he looks at you, finishing your sentence.

“Uh, yeah.”

“You have Skye to thank for that. To avoid a lengthy explanation, she has the ability to ‘quake’ things apart and stopped the piece of building from falling on you and the young man helping you.”

“What happened to Derek and his brother?”

“They’re safe. And the weapon has been confiscated, now SHIELD property.”

You nodded, content with his explanations. There’s a lull in the conversation and you take the time to actually take in your surroundings. The room you’re in is glass on three sides, the fourth being a wall of shelves for medical items. You look down at yourself, not in a gown like a hospital, but someone’s tank top and shorts. You’d have to ask about that later. You focus on your shoulder, eyes going wide. It still hurts, but looks completely healed. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” you look at Agent Coulson, who is smiling like a proud dad, “you’d lost a lot of blood by the time we found you. We immediately put you in the tissue regeneration pod and got it going on your shoulder. It looks healed, but you’ll have to stay in here for a couple more days and be monitored.”

“Tissue regeneration? How long was I out?”

“From when we found you to getting you to the pod, only a few minutes, but we had to anesthetize you so you wouldn’t wake up during the regeneration, so you've been out for about 16 hours.”

“Oh.” is all you’re able to say, still taking it in. Tissue regeneration. How are you supposed to comprehend that? “Thanks, I guess.”

He nods, “So are you ready to discuss your new position with SHIELD?”

Besides the man being in front of you, you had completely forgotten about your transition from NYPD detective to possibly SHIELD agent? The two of you certainly had a lot to talk about. “Yes, sir.”

[buckyspetpsychopath]

We’re perfect

David dobrik x reader

Vlog squad

A/N: this was requested, and I wrote this from my phone notes so I hope this is ok! 😊

Masterlist

I open the door to David’s house instantly hearing the laughter and chatter. I smile and walk in and over the the living room where everyone was sprawled out. Carly is the first to notice me there and smiles, getting up to hug me. I go around the room giving people hugs after not seeing them for a week. When I make it to David the first thing I notice is his pissed off expression. Everyone falls back into their own conversations as I sit myself down on davids lap like I usually do.

“What are you doing here?” He hisses and I’m a little taken back.

“Uhm I texted you. But you didn’t respond and I saw on Instagram that people were here and I haven’t seen you for a couple days so I thought I’d come over.” I mumble and he scoffs.

“When I didnt respond wasn’t that an indicator that I didn’t want you to come. You’re always here, I need some space” he whines pushing me off him onto the couch next to him. My eyes fill with tears but I look away from him.

“Fine, whatever have your space I don’t care” I hiss back at him quietly before standing up. I cough a little to choke back my tears. “Uhm. I just realised, Ive got somewhere I need to be and I’m gonna be late so I’ll see you guys later” I announce to everyone and a round of see you laters arise.

“Will we see you tonight?” Corinna asks and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Tonight?” I trail off and everyone seems to look at each other oddly.

“The party? Here...” heath exclaims, assuming I’d know there was a party thrown by my boyfriend at his house. I clench my jaw and look towards David. He sinks deeper into the cushions and I scoff.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. Uhm, I’ll try and make it over” I say and everyone woohs. David makes no effort to say goodbye to me so I storm out the door and go home.

I spend the next few hours getting ready, making sure to look extra good. When it’s time to go I uber over to davids, not taking the chance of driving and being too drunk to drive home. The music is thumping as I step out of the Uber, thanking the driver. I walk up the path and open the door. The party was in full swing. A lot of people fill the house making it smell of sweat, alcohol and pizza but it’s nice. Everyone is chatting or dancing. I look around for David but can’t seem to find him when I feel a tap on my back. I turn around and my eyes widen. One of my best friends from back home is standing in front of me.

“Dylan!” I squeal and dive into his arms. He spins me around and I giggle. He sets me down again and I furrow my eyebrows. “Not that I’m not excited you’re here but why are you here?” I question and he smirks holding his hand up. I see a ring on his engagement finger and my jaw drops. Him and his boyfriend have been dating for around 5 years- high school sweethearts I guess.

“I’m engaged bitch” he grins and I jump up and down like a kid.

“Wait what? When? How? Who proposed to who? I better be a bridesmaid” I ramble and he holds my shoulders stopping me from talking. I had caught the attention of a couple of people and they look over curiously.

“I proposed to him and obviously he said yes. Of course you’re my best man- woman” he says and I grin flinging my arms around him.

“Where is Adam?” I ask before I feel arms wrap around my waist spinning my around. I squeal and laugh as they set me down. I turn and see Adam with three plastic cups in his hand.

“Hey, I was getting us drinks” he smiles and then sees liquid on the floor that used to be in the cups from when he spun me around. He shrugs and wraps his arm around me looking down at me. “Did he tell you?” He asks and I nod.

“Congratulations” I smile hugging him properly.

“We need to get a picture so I can post my congrats on Instagram” I laugh and they roll their eyes. We go off to find a nice place for a picture. I call Natalie over as she is closest to me and ask her to take a couple pictures, she agrees immediately.

We take one normal smiling photo before we take a couple goofy ones. We finally take one that we’re all happy with and thank natalie.

“Hey, who are those guys?” Mariah asks.

“Ohh. It’s not like that. They’re gay, they’ve just gotten engaged! They’re my friends back home. I don’t know who invited them here but here they are” I smile.

“Oh. I mean we knew you’d never cheat on David but it looked a bit suspicious until you explained” Liza exclaims and I laugh.

“No other than a real drunk night in high school involving a game of truth or dare when Dylan and I had to kiss- there’s nothing there, he’s completely gay and infatuated with Adam.” I grin.

“And you’re too infatuated with David to even comprehend the glares he’s sending you right now” Kristen giggles pointing behind me at David, who was in fact staring at me angrily. He rolls his eyes when we make eye contact and stumbles off with his camera.

I sigh and follow after him. He stands alone in a secluded part of the kitchen.

“Hey I was looking for you where have you been” I smile trying to lighten his mood.

“Sure, you didn’t seem to be looking for me. Had your hands all over those guys. I mean what the fuck. If you’re gonna cheat on me, don’t do it right under my fucking nose. Wait until your in private, slut” he spits and my eyes widen. He bumps my shoulder roughly as he passes me and makes me topple over, slicing my palm open.

“Wow David calm down bro” heath jumps between us.

“David, you need to go cool off” zane pushes him away as he stands looking at me angrily, unfazed by my bleeding hand. Natalie rushes over with a kitchen towel wrapping it around my hand. I look at David hurtfully.

“What the fuck? I didn’t do anything wrong. If you took any notice of me at all you’d know they’re my friends-who are gay and also engaged. You’ve been too busy ignoring me all night and for the past week at that. If you’re gonna break up with me just do it like a man. Now. Don’t be a pussy and drag it out” I yell at him. His eyes widen and he steps towards me, I flinch and move behind Scott. The most pain I’ve ever seen flashes behind davids eyes in that moment.

“Are you scared of me?” He mumbles. By now, the music had been turned off and everyone was watching our argument. I avoid eye contact with him as a tear slips out. My hand is throbbing and I look down at it, the blood has soaked throw the towel.

“Fuck, can someone please help me clean my hand” I sob. A couple people step foraward but David beats them to it.

“Let me do it” he states. Zane and Scott look at me for confirmation. “Oh come on. I’m not gonna hurt her.” He groans. “Just let me help you, please” he chokes out, looking directly at me now. I bite my lip and nod. We silently go into the bathroom as he seats me on the counter. He closes the door and reaches down under the sink to retrieve the first aid kit. He pulls out the supplies and silently starts cleaning the cut. I hiss but he continues.

“I’m sorry” he whispers.

“That’s your apology” I roll my eyes.

“I wasn’t finished.” He grits. “Im sorry for how I’ve been treating you, it was killing me ignoring you.” He states.

“Then why were you? And what’s with all the stuff tonight, you’d know I’d never cheat on you”

“I just... it’s gonna sound so stupid.” He sighs running a hand through his hair. He’d finished bandaging my hand now, it wasn’t deep enough to need stitches, so I put my hand on his cheek. He sighs leaning into my touch. “I was avoiding you, and being mean to you because I was falling for you -way too hard and way too quick.” He exclaims and I stay silent, nodding for him to continue. “I just... with Liza, it took me so long to fall in love. Not for any reason, we just took things slow. And she’s the only real girlfriend I’ve ever had. Then when I met you, I fell so so hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And I got scared, things were moving too quick between us, I panicked” he shrugs.

“I think things are just fine. So what if we’re moving a little fast, we’re at the right pace for us” I smile softly.

“I know it’s only been 4 months but I’m in love with you” He whispers.

“I’m in love with you too” I whisper back after a moment of processing his words. He looks relieved as he places a deep kiss on my lips. “I’ve missed that” he grins moving into kiss me again. We pull away from each other with little grins that cannot seem to leave our faces. I hop off the counter and lace my non bandaged hand in his as we leave the bathroom. Our immediate friend group are sat in the living room- most likely trying to hear our conversation and hopefully failing. Everyone else had left.

“We sent them home” Todd speaks up when they see our confusion. We both nod and David pulls his hand away from mine, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close to him. He leaves a kiss on my forehead as a small grin makes its way onto my face.

“Sooo you guys are ok?” Carly asks, speaking up for everyone. I look up at David and smile making him lean down and kiss my nose.

“Yeah were good” I confirm and everyone let’s out a sigh of relief.

“I thought we were gonna have to choose between you guys and I couldn’t do that” zane sighs dramatically making me giggle.

“We’re good” I repeat looking up at David again.

“We’re perfect” davids smiles pulling me close to him again. A warmth spreads through my chest and I feel like a little girl who’s crush just admitted that he likes her back- all giddy. Everyone starts filing out and then it’s just me, David and natalie. Natalie heads to her room and David and I head off to bed.

“What you’re not gonna edit anything?” I ask, which is seemingly all he does lately, he barely sleeps. He shakes his head.

“I don’t have to post until tomorrow, and I wanna spend some time with my girl tonight” he states, bringing my hand up to press a kiss to my bandage and I blush. The warmth rising in my chest again and butterflies rushing through my stomach when he calls me his girl.

“I love you” I whisper.

“Im never gonna get tired of hearing that, i love you too, let’s go to sleep” he laughs pulling me over to his bed to cuddle.

[thedistantstorm]

Keep On Rising (Until the Sky Knows Your Name) 18

Found Family | Zavala is Tower Dad | Father-Daughter Relationship | Childhood Trauma and Recovery | Canon-Typical Violence | Amputation

A story about how an orphaned Amanda Holliday comes to belong in the Last Safe City and the family she finds along the way.

(Or, the story of how Commander Zavala finds himself responsible for one Amanda Holliday.)

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

This time: The Vanguard steps in to help one of their own.

-/

“Alright, someone needs to tell me what’s going on.”

Ikora looks across the table to Cayde. “If you paid attention,” She reminds him, before looking back at the text she’d been studying, “You would know everything that’s happening.”

“No. You know what’s going on, and it has to do with him-” He jerks a thumb at Zavala who ignores him entirely. “So what is it? Someone spill the beans.”

“There is nothing going on,” Ikora answers him, sounding fed up. She purposely does not look towards Zavala, lest she evoke some additional paranoia from their third. “Zavala has meetings to attend to, and I’m handling the reports of Vex activity near Ishtar.”

Cayde looks between them suspiciously, his faceplates forming a gaze chock full of intense scrutiny. “This has been going on for more than a week. You’ve made me cover for you twice to work on some research on nights you’re not even supposed to have the late shift, and, more than that, he took an entire day off and we’re just not gonna talk about it?!”

Zavala clears his throat. “What, exactly, do you think is going on, Cayde?”

“Ikora gave you a parenting book.”

“What?” Ikora looks positively scandalized. She certainly sounds that way as well. It’s done on purpose. The more outlandish reaction draws Cayde away from Zavala and his absolutely abysmal poker face.

The Hunter Vanguard gives Ikora his most friendly of smiles… then turns back to Zavala. “Soooo, either someone’s going to start talking, or I’m going to start asking questions.”

Zavala’s eyes narrow dangerously. “Let’s assume Ikora did, in fact, give me a book about parenting,” He begins, in a voice that’s almost disinterested. He purses his lips and shakes his head slightly. “There are plenty of lessons that could pertain to a new Titan-” Cayde holds up a finger to interject that the newest Guardians have been Hunters but Zavala continues on, “Or any Guardian, really, regardless of class.”

“So it has nothing to do with an actual child? It’s just another side project, like that knitting class?”

“Yes, Cayde.”

Cayde hums, before bursting out into a wide smiley tone. “Well, that’s some weight off my chest. Couldn’t imagine you with some rugrat. You’re too…”

“Too what, exactly?”

The Gunslinger blinks at him, more specifically the edge of anger in his voice. “Busy. Intolerant of horseplay and shenanigans. As much as you love your Titans, they’re at least big beefy children when they’re kinderguardians.”

Ikora coughs, interrupting the Titan-Hunter staring contest that ensues. “Zavala, didn’t you say you had to stop at the Bazaar before your meeting?” She murmurs casually. “You don’t want to be late.”

“Ah. Yes,” He agrees. “Thank you for reminding me.”

Zavala doesn’t spare Cayde a glance as he leaves the hall, his Ghost flitting to one of the techs and humming some instructions before disappearing from sight.

“What was that?” Ikora asks.

“What was what?” Cayde presses back, gesticulating wildly. “Something is clearly going on with him, ‘Kora. You know it as much as I do.”

“I do.” She swings her gaze in the direction of Zavala’s post then back to Cayde, imploring, “Don’t push him. He’s under a lot of stress right now.”

“I’m really tired of the two of you keeping secrets.” The Hunter looks down at his map before sighing. “I’m a part of this team too. I don’t want to do any more digging and piss him off, but I deserve to know what’s going on. I care, y’know.”

Ikora sighs. “I know you do, Cayde.”

“Then give me something here.”

“It’s not my story to tell.”

“I’m not asking for all the details. I just want to know what the hell he’s actually doing. He’s not having a meeting. I’ve checked all his meeting spots.”

“Technically, he is meeting someone.”

Cayde freezes mid-gesture, tipping his hands to indicate Ikora could stand to give him something more than that.

“Cayde, don’t make me do this.”

“I’m not making you do anything.”

She crosses her arms, growling, “You’re guilting me.”

“Ah, ah,” He wags a finger at her. “It’s only guilting if it’s working.”

Her gaze could melt the average person’s resolve to challenge her in seconds. Cayde is either immune or oblivious and therefore weathers her glower. “How’d you find out about the book?”

“It’s bookmarked and on the desk in his office, so I know he’s reading it.” Ikora goes to refute that, but Cayde beats her to the punch. “The bookmark is the one I gave him for the Dawning. The one he uses for special books. He’s told me he cherishes it. Zavala’s not the kind of guy to lie about that sort of thing.”

“So how do you know I gave it to him?”

“Because you’ve just told me.”

“Not in as many words,” She points out.

“No, but it’s not a difficult conclusion to come to, don’t ya think?” He studies her carefully.

She sighs. “If I tell you-” Cayde perks, “If,” Ikora stresses, “You cannot, under any circumstances tell anyone. It’s non-negotiable.”

Cayde nods, “Okay, okay, jeez. The way you’re acting, you’d think-”

Ikora looks away.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He shakes his head, planting both hands on his map and leaning forward. “You’re pulling my leg.”

Her lips thin. “She’s sick.”

“How long has this-”

“A while.”

“Well, what are we gonna do to help?!” 

“Excuse me?”

Cayde rounds the table, sitting on it, facing Ikora. He can get away with it now that their leader is gone. “I mean, if this is really a thing that’s happening and not a joke, he needs help, right? So how do we handle it?”

Ikora sets down the book she’s holding open against her hip, unwinding her crossed arms. “What do you mean? He just needs space and time.”

“Yeah, and like a million other things," Cayde deadpans, pondering, "Kid’s sick. So that explains why he’s been going to the medbay and not home every night.”

“You know about that?”

“I know lots of stuff,” Cayde stresses. “You might have your Hidden, but I have scouts, too. And they report weird things to me all the time.”

“So you know.”

“Yeah. I mean, it was obvious there was some sort of tire-fire going on two weeks ago, but…”

“There was. It’s… better.”

“Okay. Well, that’s good, but like, he’s gonna need our help whether he wants it or not. And not just parenting books. Like actual favors.”

“Cayde-”

“Not ones I’m going to expect anything in return for. I owe him like a million favors.”

“I believe he stopped counting at two-hundred seventy-six,” Ikora reminds him.

“Yeah, and that was what, a decade ago?”

“Almost two now.” She fixes him with a cruel half-smile.

“I hate you.”

She laughs outright. The sound still scares the techs, but Cayde joins in without hesitation.

“No, really,” He assures her, though it couldn’t be further from the truth “You’re the worst.”

-/

Ikora is the one who seeks out Eva, but Cayde is the one who orchestrates the whole thing. Shaxx covers for them, Zavala is occupied with a ‘conference’ this time, and thus, Ikora and Cayde meet Eva in the market district, carrying an absurd amount of boxes and baggage to the Commander’s flat.

“How much stuff does a kid need?”

“I’ve brought most of it already. It’s just sitting in his office. We’re going to have to do some reorganizing,” Eva instructs them.

By that, she means they need to literally rearrange his entire living space. Ikora insists on moving his desk and files herself, mostly to prevent any issues with Cayde snooping - but most importantly to keep him from messing up the Commander’s disorganized self-organization.

Cayde is tasked with building the much smaller desk and chair, taking to it without argument and following the instructions to the letter. Eva builds a small set of shelving while Ikora moves two oversized bookshelves of poetry like they’re a tenth of their weight. The table and chairs in small dining room are replaced by the items that made up his study, transforming an open, breezy space into a cozy, but invigorating one. It wasn’t like Zavala often used the room, anyway, for how little time he spent at home.

“Someone likes space,” Ikora comments mildly from the doorway to the room being made over.

“She wants to be a pilot,” Eva says fondly, spreading a set of star-patterned sheets over a twin-sized bed frame.

“But she’s sick, you said.” Cayde looks to Ikora, confused.

“That doesn’t mean she won’t be able to do something,” Eva hums, flapping a bedspread over the top of the sheets with a snappish flick of her wrists.

“Oh, I didn’t-”

“I’m sure she will,” Ikora says, silencing Cayde with a shake of her head. “How’s her therapy going?”

“Decent. She’s still not putting on enough weight.”

“Zavala mentioned that,” Ikora replies evenly. Cayde makes himself appear busy, but Ikora can tell he’s listening, even as he works to finish the little chair that matches the desk. “Her wounds are mostly healed though.”

“Almost. Her stump is still giving her trouble. They’re hoping next weekend she’ll be home.”

“Stump?” Cayde’s head tips over her shoulder. “Kid lose an arm or somethin’?”

“A leg.” Eva sighs. “She’s been so good about all of it, too”

“H-how’d he even-”

The front door opens and the two Vanguard flinch. Eva continues fluffing the pillows that go atop the bed, letting them have their moment as she sets about arranging an assortment of children’s clothes in the small dresser. Cayde finishes the final screw of the chair and heads toward the front of the flat at Ikora’s heels. 

Zavala looks confused, standing in his entryway. “What is the meaning of-”

Cayde nudges Ikora’s shoulder, standing beside her as she crosses her arms. “We’re just helping out,” The Hunter tells him, lighthearted in tone, but his optics are serious. “You’ve got enough on your plate right now.”

“This is…” He squints, almost in disbelief.

“We tried to disturb as little as we could,” Ikora tells him with a tiny smile. “I set Cayde loose on some furniture in Amanda's new room. He’s good at building things.” She rolls her eyes, adding for Zavala’s comfort, “... And Eva kept an eye on him.”

Offended, Cayde cries, “Hey! I wouldn’t take the easy way out. It’s not for me.”

“I-” He shakes his head, eyelids fluttering. Definitely disbelief. “Thank you,” He says, hoarsely.

Cayde pats the Titan’s deltoid. “Don’t get emotional on us now. You haven’t seen how good the kid’s room looks yet. She - she’s gonna love it. Save your tears for my craftsmanship.”

Zavala rolls his eyes, and Ikora smiles at him as Cayde turns and heads back to the study-turned-bedroom. “I hope you’re not mad that I told him.”

“No,” The Commander replies. “It was only a matter of time.”

“He was worried about you.”

“You’re more than I deserve. Both of you. Eva, too.”

“Enough of that.” She reaches for him in a rare show of affection. She’d never go for something as intimate as a hug, but as she squeezes his shoulders, the sentiment is the same. “You deserve all the help you need, so don’t be afraid to ask.” She releases him. “Though, I don’t know if I’d ask Cayde to babysit.” She gives him a face that suggests she’s actually babysitting him, right now.

“Oh, come on.” The Hunter Vanguard pokes his head out of the bedroom, but as he’s sitting on the floor working on furniture, he’s mostly laying on the carpet. “I’d be the coolest babysitter, and you both know it!”

The Warlock and Titan’s eyes meet. “Definitely not,” They agree, heading the bedroom to save Eva from the Exo’s antics and show Zavala their progress.

[shalebridge-cradle]

I know you have other prompts so please don’t feel obligated to do this, but what about the ghosts AU where they sit through their graduation? If you do the musical canon, you could even have Ram and Kurt in their class and with them. Thank you for all the writing and headcanon stuff you’ve been posting here! I’ve been meaning to send something in for a while now.

That I can do.

There are four seats meant to be left empty - two with lettermans draped over them, one with a red ribbon, and one with a blue book.

The only people who know the seats aren’t vacant are the ones sitting in them.

Veronica knows how hard Fleming fought for that fourth chair. She doesn’t really get why - maybe she believed there was good in her. That Veronica was just a girl too lovesick to notice what she was doing. As usual, Fleming is wrong. Veronica was just angry and stupid.

Nobody, dead or alive, is listening to Gowan’s introductory speech. Ram and Kurt are elbowing each other and pointing at various students, and Heather has a reassuring hand on Veronica’s thigh.

Gowan hasn’t mentioned them at all. That’s probably for the best. Let it be silent and sophisticated.

“God, they all look so girly in their little dresses,” Kurt says to Ram.

“They’re gowns, dude. They all proved they’re smart, so they get to wear wizard robes.”

Never mind.

“Wizards are nerds. Good thing we don’t have to wear ‘em. I kinda want the jacket, though.”

“Yeah, It’s cold.”

(It’s always cold.)

“Hey, ‘Ronica,” even in death Kurt’s trying to pick her up, “why’d you have to kill us in our briefs? You into that?”

Veronica sighs. “I didn’t know you were gonna die. If I did, I wouldn’t have agreed to the prank in the first place. Assholes you may have been, but you deserved some dignity.”

“You’re still mad about the skid marks, aren’t you?” Ram teases.

“Whatever, dude. I mean, it would have been a killer prank if it went like you said.”

Killer.

“Can you shut up for five minutes?” Chandler snaps, “This is supposed to be a formal event.”

Kurt hangs his head in shame, like a kid getting told off.

(That’s all he was. A dumb kid.)

“Sorry, Heather.”

“You’d better be.”

Veronica rests her head on Heather’s shoulder, a sign of her gratitude. Chandler offers an almost invisible smile in return.

They listen to the valedictorian’s speech, and Veronica’s so proud of Betty Finn for beating out Rodney in the fight for the top spot. The speech she gives is way better than anything he would have come up with, anyway. The guy was only good at taking tests. Betty talks about hope, the future, everything they can do now that they’re free from high school. Every so often, her eyes flick to those four seats in the front row.

Ram leans over, his voice a stage whisper. “Why does she keep looking at us?”

“She can’t see us. She’s talking about leaving high school, so she’s thinking about the ones that don’t get to.”

The former linebacker goes deathly silent, his eyes blank as he looks back up at Betty. As she finishes her address, Ram claps clumsily, like he’s forgotten how.

Then, Ripper.

“Ah, fuck,” Heather mutters.

Veronica’s not sure what it is about the pastor that triggers the effect. Maybe because he’s a holy man, and his mere presence makes ghosts suffer.

“Don’t stick your finger in it, Kurt,” Veronica says as a precaution. He probably won’t listen, but no-one can say she didn’t try.

“If he says anything about ‘the MTV video games’, I’m gonna puke.” Heather’s voice is already growing thick. Veronica hates this. Her temple has already gone ice-cold, and the vision in her left eye is going dark.

Father Ripper speaks of them. Of course he does, the ‘suicides’ have drastically boosted the numbers of his flock. How the dearly departed all supposedly found solace in the arms of the Lord, how, so long as the graduating class follows the straight and narrow path, everyone will find peace their former classmates lacked in their lives.

Bullshit. All of it.

Veronica hates the sensation she has to go through when she’s like this. It’s eerily familiar - like drinking a frozen drink too fast, but only on one side of her head. Hates it, hates it, hates it.

“Don’t cry,” Ram tries to say, his rasping voice accompanied by a faint, tuneless whistling.

Ah, hell. Is she crying? This is the last thing she needs. Salt in the bullet wound.

The hand that was on her thigh rises to her shoulder, pulling Veronica into a one-armed hug.

“He’ll stop with his preaching soon enough,” Heather reassures her, pausing to cough, “you’re okay. It’s okay.”

Ripper finishes with the sort of finality he’s used to by now, and the focus shifts to where it should be - the students who are still left. The pain in Veronica’s head fades a little, and she relaxes as the first students receive their diplomas.

She applauds nearly every student - The Country Club kids are the only exceptions. Kurt whoops and Chandler smiles when Heather McNamara receives her ticket out of this hellhole, and Ram claps politely for Martha and all his past friends (he’s getting the hang of it now).

Soon, it’s all over. Final congratulations are given, and everyone files out. The four are left alone among the empty chairs.

“Feeling a bit better?”

Veronica taps her now-present temple in response to Heather’s question.

“I’m happy for them,” she adds.

“Good. Good.” She pulls Veronica closer, pressing her lips to the top of her girlfriend’s head. “Some of them only passed ‘cause of you.”

“I just took some notes. Most of it was them.”

“You’re more help than you think. Remember that.”

Veronica leans into the embrace, sighing. She can see Kurt and Ram out of the corner of her eye again - apparently, awkward knuckle-punching is the only form of affection they know that cannot be construed as gay.

“Maybe we should do this again next year.”

Heather hums. “Maybe. Might not gets seats, though.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just… It’s a nice feeling, seeing everyone happy and ready to get on with their lives. Ready to grow up and be adults.”

And die. But maybe they’d die happy. That’d be something.

“I guess,” Heather concedes. “We should get going before they pull the chair out from under us.”

They do. All of them. The gym, where everything could have gone so wrong, is silent once more.

[croik]

A TEW theory: Anima is Lily is Laura, the true core of STEM 2.0

Yup that’s right, Laura isn’t Myra she’s actually Lily.  I might as well admit up front that there isn't actually any concrete proof for this, no secret files or scenarios.  TEW2 is practically Victorianophobic and to be honest I don't actually believe this was intentioned by the writers.  But this ties together a few plot threads I can't seem to reconcile any other way so it's going to be my headcanon until proven wrong.

So after TEW2 I had some…. *cough* questions, but there were a few in particular that are especially important and so bugged me the most:

What is Anima, and what role does she play in STEM?

If Lily is the core of STEM whose power allows Stefano and Myra to control the system, why does she never wield that power herself?

What were they doing with Lily for the five years between Mobius kidnapping her and her becoming the core, and why hasn't she aged mentally in that time?

What is Myra's deal??

I think my theory answers all these, so let's start at the top:

A lot of the theories about Anima have been centered around Sebastian, because she's so strongly connected to TEW1 – she looks kind of like Laura, she sings Claire de Lune, she introduces Sebastian to his former self which ultimately allows him to get over his past trauma (ughh….fuck that part).  From Seb's point of view, it makes sense to assume she has connections either to the first STEM or to him.  But this is leaving out two important facts about Anima: 1) She is hunting EVERYONE in Union and 2) She was already in Union before Sebastian arrived.

There are several notes and resonant points around Union featuring citizens talking about Anima chasing them.  Anima herself appears after several of them.  She is described as an invisible force that stalks people, going through walls and making everything cold.  She is inescapable.  And from the notes in the Marrow lab, we know that once she catches someone, she turns them into Lost.  She does this to Sebastian as well if he's caught.  Anima is the source of all the Lost in Union, and she has converted some 10% of the population even before Lily goes missing and everything goes to hell, when it doubles in a very short period of time.

So why does Anima have connections to Seb?  I imagine that she changes slightly depending on who she's hunting.  She's using her quarry's past fears against them, scaring and deteriorating them to the point that she can take them over.  She's not a piece of Seb's psyche, she's just using it as a tool against him.  You can't hurt her, after all, there's no confrontation where she loses or dies. She just accepts that Seb is unbreakable and moves on to the next victim.  She's been in STEM2 since the beginning and cannot be killed or removed.

So what about Myra?  For whatever reason that I haven't found an explanation for, the default state of the Lost in STEM2 is white plaster glue. I wondered for a while if Myra was the one influencing this transformation, if the theme was hers (maybe an art project was the last thing she and Lily did together before the kidnapping, something like that). She does show up as a giant glue monster after all. But if the Lost were a feature of STEM even before Myra entered, and are a direct result of being caught by Anima, doesn't that imply that Myra is not the source, she's a victim?  Seb does say "This place is affecting her," and for as much control as Myra seems to have, she's also depicted as out of her right mind and plagued by a force more powerful than her.  Myra isn't the core for most of the game, she's just a more powerful version of the Lost.

We've talked around Tumblr about how Hoffman says that only a child or a psychopath can control STEM, but that doesn't seem to stop Myra from doing it despite being neither.  But I noticed after rewatching the ending that when Myra is shooing Seb out of their home, she says "When I assume the power of the core," future tense.  She's not using the core's power yet at that point, she is not the core itself. And the power she does wield isn't her own, it's not a theme of her own making, like Stefano's time powers or Theodore's fire – the ooze comes from Anima, the inescapable, eventual fate of anyone who enters STEM2 the same way everyone who entered STEM1 became haunted. Anima is the source of STEM2's greatest power: Anima is the core.

But LILY is the core, she was the one in stem before Myra, Seb, or any of the others.  Anima must come from Lily.  All that time we wondered "why isn't Lily using her core powers?" the truth is she IS.  She was rotting STEM from the inside all along, whether she was aware of it or not. She tore down everyone keeping her trapped and made her mother powerful enough to protect her.

If Lily is the core and Anima her avatar, exemplifying Lily's fear and instilling in it in the people that hurt her, turning them "lost" the way she feels lost without her father, that explains why Myra was able to be as powerful as she was and also why Union was falling apart behind the scenes for a long time before anyone noticed.  But we can take it a step further.   

A while back I made a post about the game's timeline, but to summarize, the order of events as we know them goes something like this:

-Ruvik creates the original STEM, which connects 2 or more minds together, for personal reasons -Mobius kidnaps Lily for use as "the core" of STEM -Myra joins Mobius -Ruvik sabotages the STEM so that it will only work if he's connected -Mobius fucks him back by sticking his brain in a jar -Shit goes down at Beacon -Mobius creates STEM2 with Lily as the core -Anima appears inside STEM2 and begins turning people into Lost -Shit goes down in Union

This timeline itself is what raises most of my questions posed above, especially the fact that Lily was kidnapped long before Union existed – even before the STEM itself functioned with any kind of core.  It wasn't until Ruvik became the core that they realized STEM could make use of one at all.  So why did they risk the interference of two police detectives to kidnap a young child for use in a machine that at that point couldn't have made use of her in that capacity?  The simplest answer: Lily wasn't originally kidnapped with the intent of making her the core.

Before Ruvik betrayed and was betrayed by Mobius, he was connecting patients in groups, observing how they reacted to each other's suffering, or how their psyche was affected by the machine itself.  We know that he ultimately used STEM in order to transfer his mind into Leslie, thus gaining a new body, but we don't know if this was his goal all along.  He also talks in his logs about wanting to get his old life back, and part of that includes getting his sister, Laura, back. There was speculation after TEW that Laura was still alive somewhere, in a comatose state, and that Ruvik planned on using STEM to transfer her mind to a new body as well.

So what if that was Lily?

Lily was pale with dark hair, artistic and empathetic, and very bright.  As a child, it probably would have been easier to overwrite her memories than a full grown adult, if only because she had fewer of them.  At the point in which she was kidnapped, Ruvik was making very little forward progress with STEM as far as Mobius was concerned, since they were pushing him to use it for mind and memory control on a larger scale, but he wasn't especially interested.  So what if Mobius tried to just appease him when it came to regaining Laura, in the hopes of spurring the project forward?

It's really the only use she would have in STEM at that point, since it didn't have a landscape for a core to control.  Just one patient to another with Ruvik observing.  

So let's assume for now that this was the case, that Mobius tried to transfer Laura's mind and memories to Lily, with or without Ruvik's input and consent.  It not working could be a reason for why Ruvik ended up sabotaging the STEM.  We know that in general he didn't want Mobius using his machine for their own purposes, but if some failed experiment with Laura was the reason, that would make his betrayal even more understandable from his point of view, and even more frustrating from Mobius' POV.  This could also have served as freezing Lily's mentality at the age of five, which is how old she appears to be inside STEM2 even though she had to have been somewhere between 9 and 11 before being made Union's core.

Years later, after Ruvik is gone and STEM2 needs to be built, they still have Lily: stunted, but still a suitable candidate.  They plug her into STEM2 and everything seems fine.  But it's NOT fine, because unbeknownst to Mobius, their attempt to insert Laura into Lily DID work.  Which brings us back to Anima.

What if Anima is a remnant of Laura, which survived inside of Lily after Ruvik/Mobius tried to use her as Laura's new body?

In TEW2 we hear that Lily is very smart and precocious and empathetic, but she's still a young child. We also know that she's spent years of her young life as a lab rat and still thinks of herself as a five year old despite being older than that, since that's the form she takes inside STEM2. How obvious would it be, under those circumstances, if her personality was slightly altered in a mind-mesh experiment gone wrong?  Laura was smart and charming and caring, too.  Even Myra might not think too much of her daughter being slightly "off" after the torture she was put through (Yes, Hoffman, "experiment" is exactly the word to use when you lock a young child into a pressurized organ jar for months at a time – if anyone is a psychopath in STEM it's Yukiko Hoffman, I swear).

In any case, assuming this is true, once inside STEM2 the remnants of Laura Victoriano finally have free reign.  Maybe she only partially made the transfer and is a lonely and confused spirit, and because of her trauma she can't help but bring the trauma out of others.  She makes them Lost, like she is lost. Because she is the right hand and the core of STEM.

This theory explains the questions above and also a few more:

-Anima looks like Laura because she IS Laura, but she's herself, not Ruvik's version.  That explains the differences between her and spider-Laura that appears later, and why the retro fight late in the game is so much closer to real TEW1 than the Anima sequences are: The Sadist, The Keeper, and Reborn Laura are actually pulled from Seb's memories of them.  Anima is a separate entity only borrowing elements from him to wear him down.

-Lily was kidnapped before Ruvik's STEM meltdown, but she wasn't the first choice of core even after then, which we know because she's 05 and also because the Administrator refers her to "the most stable core we've had," a strange thing to say if only Ruvik came before her.  Mobius had her for a long time but wasn't sure she'd still be suitable after the Laura failure and tried other children first.

-If the monsters catch Seb, they kill him.  If Anima catches Seb, she makes him a Lost.  Worked for mom!

-On top of Anima naturally using the fears of her victims against them, if she has access to Seb's mind/memories and spotted Ruvik among them, that's another reason why she might be singing a familiar song and trying to make Seb recall what happened at Beacon.

-Lily may not have actually been in her house when it burned down, but there's a chance Torres started the fire while she was still there to see it, because they thought that might help enhance her compatibility to Laura. This would explain why that shared circumstance with the Victorianos is so significant.

-When Lily was taken by Stefano, she could have used her power to escape but didn't.  This could be explained if Lily's real power is Anima, and Anima bestowed power on Stefano because her goal is to tear STEM2 apart, and Stefano only aids in that goal.  Lily was never in real danger from him so there was no reason for her to need saving.

-If Anima comes from Lily, and Hoffman is the one who picked Lily and tested her to become the core, Anima should be especially interested in hunting Hoffman down.  Since walls and doors can't stop her, this might be why Hoffman's saferoom is in the Marrow rather than Unity proper.

-Laura is trying to hide her existence as existing inside Lily which is why Lily herself doesn't display any obvious power, and appears just how Seb and Myra want to remember her, to make it less obvious that anything is wrong.

Of course there are still a few questions it doesn't answer, like:

-Shouldn't this actually be included in the game if true? (It's not, but if Trent can pretend Seb's journal doesn't exist, I can pretend Mobius forgot to write this shit down for Seb to find)

-It's easy to say Myra wouldn't notice if her daughter got mind-invaded by a comatose burn victim, but is that reallllllly likely?  How likely is it that Ruvik wouldn't realize that it worked?  And wouldn't he be even more motivated to be at Mobius' doorstep either way?

-If Anima can't be stopped by doors and walls why doesn't she target O'Neal and Sykes?  Or did she just never get around to them?

-Why plaster? Seriously, why plaster.  If Anima is Laura it ought to be fire but instead it's bubbly white jizzglue.  Why.  I want to know.

-If Laura was in Lily, does she escape still inside Lily at the end, or is she the ghost in the machine that reactivates STEM?

~ S E Q U E L ~ 

 I can't think of anything else so this is a good place to stop.  But I'm interested to know what you guys think and if there's something I've overlooked. Let me know! 

[itsrainingjellybeans]

Repeal the ACA?

This is in response to a FB post that someone commented a story about a Trump supporter who is now worried she will lose the ACA. The man commented that her story was BS and that hospitals HAVE to take care of everyone-”if they don’t kill you with malpractice”- that you can pay $10/month or file bankruptcy to pay for health care but that Obamacare is broken and imploding on itself with companies pulling out and premiums going sky high until it is basically catastrophic health care.  This is my response.

I speak as a nurse practitioner AND a patient with a complex genetic disorder AND as the mom of 2 kids with the same disorder that has presented in different ways so I've seen A LOT of doctors in a wide variety of specialities as well as worked in clinics and hospitals. I am personally and professionally offended by your statement that they are trying to kill you with malpractice. There are hundreds of thousands of doctors and nurses giving everything they have to keep people alive every single second in America. Hospitals don't try to kill you-Americans are doing a great job of that all by themselves- eating processed foods which are basically almost impossible to avoid in this country in 2017, not exercising adequately, not sleeping, texting while driving, stress and mental illness going untreated and our lack of community, compassion and humanity is eating away at our health. But let's say you only eat things you grow and you butcher and you are zen. Your body IS STILL going to start declining at about age 40. Yes, there are a lot of problems with our medical care system and a lot of idiots practicing medicine but MOST want to do well. The human body is very complicated and patients don't exactly do what they are told to do. Also think about it- if nurses and nurses are 99% accurate which is way above the average performance rate of most workers, that means they will make 1000's of mistakes a year and some of them will be deadly.

Now on the ACA argument: 1. Yes, hospitals are required by law to see EVERYONE for EMERGENCIES but only for emergencies. They don't have to see you for chronic psoriasis or a long term cough and they have no ability to care for you after the initial stabilization. There is no mandate to admit you for anything once you are stabile. SO while they must stabilize your diabetes if they are able to stabilize you in the ER, they can discharge you home and they have no mandate to help you with follow up. This is a huge hole in the often-repeated theory that "hospitals must care for everyone". 

2. In a lot of areas patients can't be seen by doctors if they don't have insurance. In other words, they won't even make an appointment for you if you are uninsured. There is no bill to pay off over time because you can't be seen. I had a patient with a grapefruit-sized tumor in her uterus. I saw her at the health department but nobody would see her for imagine to diagnose it further. NOBODY-because she was uninsured...except the ER -which is where I told her to go, but I doubt she went because how would she pay for treatment? The tumor was growing quickly so it wasn't going to turn out to be "nothing". 

3. Hospitals won't let you pay $10/week. They want a much higher percentage of the bill WITH a down payment and they want to negotiate the bill right NOW and you only get a small grace period before they are sending you to collections. 

4. The #1 cause of bankruptcy in America is medical expenses and THAT isn't a statistic to brag about. It is abhorrent that people can't access basic health care and that you think bankruptcy is a viable option to pay for health care. That it is more viable than fixing the problems with the ACA. America is the only developed country without guaranteed health care for ALL. 

5. In 2016 7 out of 10 returning Marketplace customers could get a plan for less than $75/month and 8 out of 10 for less than $100/month. In 2017 even with rate increases THOSE STATISTICS STILL STAND!!!!! 

6. The livable wage issue and part time vs. full time work issue is another topic but suffice to say that as long as corporations are controlling the GOP you will not see a living wage for workers outside corporate America. CEOs only care about their shareholders and the next corporate earnings call. That is about as far thinking as they get these days. 

7. 30M Americans have health care coverage because of the ACA. To take that away form them with nothing equal to replace it is inhumane and NOT how we do things in America. The fact is we could pay for single payer healthcare if we don't build a pointless was and cut taxes on the wealthy again. 

8. The ACA IS NOT Perfect. There is no doubt that a group of people in the middle class have extremely high premiums and that has to be fixed. But keep in mind that issues wouldn't be a there if the GOP hadn't kept the mandate out of the law. A lot of the problems that the GOP sees with the ACA are problems they brought to the table. They have had 7 + years to come up with a plan and they can't. 

9. One thing that has them really pissed off is that when ACA was first implemented they did a great job of getting RushRadio and FoxTV to sing a song and dance that the ACA was horrible before Americans had a chance to use the program.For a few years it worked. Obamacare had a bad reputation but over time, as people finally got the health care they long needed, the perception changed. People realizes that health care is a wonderful thing to have and not the evil, sinister thing the GOP sold them in 2009 and 2010. It was mind-blowing to me to watch Americas argue that health care coverage for all was a horrible thing and something they didn't want. Thankfully it was all GOP Propaganda marketing and when American's got health care coverage, that view changed dramatically. The GOP wasn't watching. Nope, they were still over in their corner-using their cadillac plans to care for themselves and their family- thinking Americans still hated Obamacare and a repeal was a slam dunk. I think Trump had it on his Day 1 agenda or close. Unfortunately for them the push back at the grassroots level has been spectacular. My Deep-As-They-Come Republican Representative has changed his song for a HARD REPEAL to Repeal with Replacement. If this corporate-owned politician who has voted 27 times to repeal the ACA can change his tune, they all can. Our new goal is to get him to FIX not REPEAL. 

10. One thing that has been expensive for insurance companies has been the fact that many people who signed up for ACA have long-standing, untreated health problems which means a lot of catching up with therapies, doctors, medications, etc. It takes a lot of resources to get them back to health and that is costing the insurance companies a lot of money. Another problem is the insurance companies didn't use a model that allowed them to be profitable under these conditions. Medicaid and Medicare have long been examples of efficient and cost effective health coverage and a few insurance companies are doing well under the ACA, but those who failed did so at their own fault by not following the lead of Medicaid and Medicare. Seven years into the program, some are figuring out how to make a profit in this environment. 

Why would it make sense to throw out ACA and start over? This reminds me of the old saying "don't throw the baby with the bathwater". We need to fix the problems not start over or as Ryan and the GOP want, give Americans Health Savings Accounts which is so stupid I can't even comment on that here. Why would anyone expect legislation this large, one that profoundly changes the way our society functions would be perfect in its first form? Why would anyone expect that health care coverage on this magnitude wouldn't need twerking and even major fixes during its initial years? As for companies leaving the exchange- Aetna left the program simply as punishment when the Obama administration refused to approve their merger with Cigna. That was all politics. Some companies are trying to put pressure on the system to allow them to sell across state lines because that allows them to go to states with fewer regulations so they can offer less coverage -another example of a company relocating simply to improve their bottom line and not that of their customers. 

There are many stories of people who wouldn't have any coverage if not for ACA .Clearly you fall into the group that is paying ever increasing premiums and deductibles and it essentially becomes catastrophic coverage. That needs to be corrected. But 30M people rely on the ACA and there are millions of stories of lives being saved because of that coverage. 

Let's talk about how hospitals feel. Hospitals can't go back to the old system where 30M people didnt have coverage and therefore the hospital is left with 30M unpaid bills. Imagine how you would keep your business open if people who owed you thousands of dollars were paying $10 a month. It isn't a sustainable business model, even for public and university hospitals. They rely on Medicaid and Medicare to help pay for services and they do not want to see ACA repelled. Frankly, neither do the insurance agencies because to repeal without a viable robust replacement is going to create a chaos that they don't want to see either.

It only makes sense to go to single-payer healthcare. We are the only developed country who doesn’t take care of its citizens in this way. Medicare and Medicaid have proven very efficient methods of health care giving us a model to build upon. Health care has become yet another system that is easily accessed by the upper middle class and up and something the lower middle class and those in poverty struggle to get. Even children are often left out as Dentists rarely take Medicaid. I have cared for many kids who come in for their yearly physicals with holes cavities in their teeth so big I can see them from across the room and I cannot imagine how painful that was before the cavity ate the root away. Children...suffering because American’s can’t agree on Single-Payer Healthcare. We need to step up.