#random nausea sweating and constant loss of appetite but maybe that was the depression | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

raystie · 2 years ago

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wow my last post was in Feb so despite not really having a following here I still feel obligated to say I'm going through a Bad Time both mentally and physically rn I can't even be bothered to think about or play Yakuza or do anything really. not dead but I sure feel like I'm on the way there rn. won't be here for a while take care everyone

#ray txt #well if you really wanna know the tmi details I'm putting it in the tags because I love overshsring #short version is entered depressive episode couldn't regulate my emotions constant crying and racing thoughts and mood swings #eventually psychosomatic symptoms caused by anxiety gets bad enough I start also having health anxiety and freaking out that I had some #disease or illness and that I was gonna die #if you've ever had your body feel like it's dying because of anxiety it's the typical shit #chest feels tight and like it's being crushed and like I can't breathe #random pains all over sometimes muscles or stabbing pains across torso #random nausea sweating and constant loss of appetite but maybe that was the depression #anyway after multiple crying sessions and nights where I couldn't sleep until like 8am and my parents considering putting me in #psych rehab (idea got scrapped) I go see some specialists #they check my blood piss uterus (irregular cycles I only get it every 2-4 months for years now)#and x-rays and they tell me actually everything looks fine physically! there's nothing wrong anywhere they can see and all my Levels are #perfectly Normal and Average I don't have a disease or illness or deficit #so all those pains and suffering really was just psychologically manifested and my brain made it up #andi know it's true because after that visit the chest pain was a lot less Andi can breathe better now #wait but that's not the end of it!#the gyne thinks I could have PCOS but can't confirm so I get my hormones tested and turns out I have more prolactin than normal #that fool made it sound like I Needed to get a MRI scan to check the gland that produces it in my brain or whatever #i go see an endocrinologist who says oh actually the extra prolactin is most likely just from your psychiatric medications #turns out if you take those it's commonly seen to go up so I didn't have to get scanned #this was optional but he suggested I take cabergoline to lower it and also get my menstruation regular again #and that's what I'm doing now but I feel like I had forgotten what having a period is like after always going for months without it #Oh and then I saw a new psychiatrist. because I had serotonin syndrome before and my body reacts badly to medications I've taken #he suggests a sensitivity blood test which I agreed to IMMEADIATELY because I've spent almost a whole decade taking all sorts of meds and #none of it working out #I haven't gotten the results back but he also said SSRIs are out of the question #although I've tried a bunch of antipsychotics and (prescribed) ADHD medications and they didn't work out #really want this fucking test because taking a med and then getting blasted with side effects makes me feel like a guinea pig being #experimented on

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