#disease or illness and that I was gonna die

[raystie]

wow my last post was in Feb so despite not really having a following here I still feel obligated to say I'm going through a Bad Time both mentally and physically rn I can't even be bothered to think about or play Yakuza or do anything really. not dead but I sure feel like I'm on the way there rn. won't be here for a while take care everyone

[ganjamonster11]

Hashtag #Chrent virus is at it again

[heatobrienswife]

.

[jentlemahae]

-

[monsterbisexual]

feeling like im being driven to my execution (its a drs appointment)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

the edyn fic is like... 2 sections away from being finished. btw

[theokusgallery]

If we Start a fanclub who would be the leader

Sorry anon. No hierarchy here. We're all equally gay

[gayday]

y ppl care so much abt germs

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I'm kind of in a productive mood these past few days, finished one commission and started another, at that pace I'll be Free of Old Commissions in a couple days at most and you know what that means. It. Well it means. Gunpowder Tim art will be back soon. Dies

[silvr-skreen]

been sick all day after taking my car for a routine maintenance check.... music man save meeeee

[stitches-n-knives]

Im staying so so silly I'm gonna slam my head through a wall

[bittwitchy]

ive been five seconds away from a breakdown every second since the 26th and honestly im gonna keep being five seconds from another breakdown until at least saturday

[cosycafune]

SAVE YOUR TEARS

2.0k words. sylus and you are in an arranged marriage, and you’re pregnant. you pleaded for him to return your love. yet, all he gave you was hanahaki disease — distorting your timeline. all sylus has to do is say he loves you, but sylus is too afraid as destruction follows his every movement. in every timeline, he almost always loses you. masterlist.

acts: pregnancy, straddling, angst, unrequited love, mentions of sex, arranged marriage, hanahaki disease, coughing out blood and flowers, attempting comforting, fear of death, denial, slight physical abuse, pounding on sylus' chest, guilt and crying. mdni 18+.

a/n: request from @gojoskfcbox this is such a beautiful idea; I’m glad you entrusted me with it. I've written sm for sylus; help me.

‘hanahaki’s pitiful victim, can’t a soul rescue you?’

THERE wasn’t anything that you and Sylus hadn’t fulfilled. From the acts of sexual intimacy, a deep emotional connection and a rare, mutual understanding. However, it seemed as if you were completely misled — stricken with something sinister and unworthy.

Hanahaki disease.

This wasn’t what you bargained for, being subjected to an unremorseful curse. A curse that stole away the air of your lungs, leaving you frantically coughing, thick spurts of blooming flowers leaving your lips. Angst flooded you, staining you with an ache — as Sylus had denied you of his love.

Even now, anger, resentment, sombreness and aching tinted you, leaving you to turn your gaze away from Sylus. Currently, you remain before Sylus — posed before the toilet seat. Humiliated, you linger — clinging to the toilet seat and heaving up beautiful flowers. Flowers that contrast the irony of this situation, leaving you wickedly chuckling.

What also didn’t help was that you were currently four months pregnant with his baby, nurturing something he dearly cares for. Yet, when met with whether he’ll finally confess his dearest depths of love for you, Sylus inevitably refuses. Refuses swiftly, knowing that a life, no home, with him, was bound to be swarmed with destruction, devastation and aching.

Clutching your swole stomach, heaving, you refrain from glancing at Sylus — feeling rather unloved. Unloved in distasteful ways, filling your heart with a void you wouldn’t wish upon anyone. Tears, whining, and dizziness apprehended you, but all Sylus could do was hope this beautiful illness disregarded itself.

“Sy’, stop watching me,” Assertively, you clutch onto your baby bump — weakly speaking, “It’s embarrassing.” Mentally torn, you frown at him settling beside you — rubbing your back.

“I’m just…trying to help,” Unsure of what to do, Sylus gently responds — defeat lingering within his tone.

“You’ve already done enough!” Frantically coughing through your shouting, you grow terrified at the array of flowers and pooling blood in the toilet.

You were gonna die.

“Sweetie—”

“—What’s the whole point of helping me if I’m just going to die with our baby, Sylus?” Terrified, you question him — longing for him to confess and shatter this distasteful curse.

“I can’t tell you that I love you, since it’ll ruin everything,” Panicking slightly, Sylus bluntly informs you of his rushing thoughts — unsure of what to do.

“I could die, and that’s all you’re thinking about?” Desperately asking Sylus, you internally plead for him to finally spill his heart — despite the ending of the world enclosing around you two.

“I-I don’t know what to do,” Sylus truthfully tells you, strips of vulnerability flooding his tone — even as he gently rubs your back.

“Sylus! Get serious,” Heaving harder, you bellow at him — irritated at his lack of conclusiveness.

“If I ever tell you that I love you or admit my feelings, I’ll have to prepare you to kill me to save the world.” Aggravated at Sylus’ confession, you gather the courage to look at him — flowers and blood coating your lips.

“Sy’, you’ll lose your whole world if I die from this,” Tearying, fatigued and distraught, you express your heart — your fears planted in his arms.

“Y-You could get the surgery, but it’ll mean that you’ll stop loving me,” At Sylus’ suggestion, your eyes widen — your heart thundering against your rib cage.

Distraught plagued your eyes as Sylus drew nearer to a pregnant you, wiping away the tender tears that drifted from your eyes. Tenderly, the pad of his thick thumb runs across beneath your eyes — his tender forehead staining your own. In a way that makes your delicate self feel warmth, love and stability — but it’s only something fleeting.

“B-But…” Wordless, you struggle to speak — relishing the ironic sincerity within his unethical touch.

“Whenever I have you in any universe, it never ends well,” Unable to prepare himself for this heartbreak, Sylus utters, “I’d rather have you learn to not love me or destroy me to maintain yourself, sweetie.” Grasping onto you firmer, Sylus presses his nose against your own — his lips a breadth from your own.

“Our baby, Sy’,” Responding to him, you part your flower-spewing lips in shock — defeated at Sylus’ denial of fighting for you in this verse.

“Get the surgery, sweetie,” Not wanting to lose you, Sylus suggests something so heartbreaking — pressing his lips upon your own.

His attempt is so cruel. So cruel, aching your heart.

“I’m pregnant and you’d rather have me hurt than admit something crucial?” Attempting to fathom Sylus’ kiss, you question him with wide eyes — frantically crying.

“No,” Sylus painfully contradicts himself, his crimson eyes tinted with a fathomable ache and lonesomeness.

“Liar!” Mentally exhausted, you scream at him — banging your fists against his chest with an understandable amount of anger.

Glaring at Sylus, through glassy and blurred eyes, you heavily bang against his toned chest — frustrated and aching. Pain, guilt, and self-depreciation adorn you — structuring you with wounds and hardships no pregnant woman should ever endure. A lack of love and reassurance adheres to you, leaving you solitary. Solitary despite the man you love lingering.

Deeply, you knew he romantically cared somewhere — but enabled the curse through his denial. A denial that welcomes one-sided love, even with an arranged marriage and a baby on the way.

“You can’t force me to love you,” Coldness desperately clings to Sylus’ statement.

“You didn’t feel anything when you comforted me after my first time?” Pleading for him to reveal his guarded heart, you carry on.

 “You didn’t feel anything when we built the baby crib? With you watching me grow my belly? Call you so you can see how the baby’s doing?” Experiencing intense heartbreak, you stop your physical abuse – begging for Sylus to soothe your pained state.

“Of course, but not in the way you think,” Millions of weeping souls blanket you as Sylus speaks, witnessing your hanahaki disease worsening – fuller crimson-stained flower spewing from your lips.

“I can’t force you to admit anything, but you didn’t feel anything romantic when we spent nights in the snow, getting vulnerable and talking about the future?” With one last act of devotion, you question Sylus – your heart overwhelmed with the distrust that lingers.

“Sweetie, you’re getting worse,” Heavily concerned, Sylus attempts to calm you down – bringing you against his lulling heartbeat.

“S-Sylus, am I going to die?” A little calm, you look towards him for guidance – worried drastically about your warped fate.

“I’d never let you die, don’t speak like that, sweetie,” Incredibly angst, Sylus holds you impossibly closer – unwilling to fathom you departing from his arms once again.

For once, just once, Sylus wanted the carmine strings of fate to curl for him. To curl for just him and only him, keeping up the facade of unrequited love between you both.

“If you…” Coughing flowers hysterically, you try to converse with a disheartened Sylus, “Didn’t want me like that, why didn’t… you keep your distance, my sweet Sy’?” Simply wanting answers, you grow lulled by his beautiful singing – feeling mildly at peace.

“Because I don’t have the heart to be cruel to you,” Spewing a double-edged confession, Sylus cups your baby bump – kissing the top of your forehead.

“How…comes you being affectionate doesn’t break the curse?” Curious, you question Sylus – burrowing within his tender comfort.

Forbidden comfort, knowing that he’s unable to declare a love you long for.

“Because I denied your love confession, and haven’t said that I love you,” Openly, Sylus admits his loop around the unrequited love – aware that a genuine confession would heal your state.

However, it would trample the world and everything that lingers. You, his unborn baby and the world Sylus has deeply accustomed to.

“I-I’m sleepy, Sy’,” Through the strain of being pregnant, coughing out flowers and blood, tiredness finally decorates you – causing your eyelids to flutter.

“Sleep, sweetie,” Falling unconscious at Sylus’ command, you drift into a pained slumber – unsure of what your fate is bound to be. 

However, all you know is that you’re currently unloved by your husband – upholding a false persona that doesn’t truly matter. All you yearned for was for his false declarations of affection to be truthful, not something he conducts to make you happy.

“I’d rather die than let you die,” Knowing you’re asleep, Sylus sheds a few tears – whispering tenderly.

“I love you, sweetie, but you can never know,” Sylus mutters to you, knowing that it’s bound to cure you – despite not being able to hear him.

You’re deep in a webbed, conflicted slumber.

As cruel as it sounds, to him, it’s only unrequited love on your behalf if he never confesses. He’ll heal you for an eternity, but he’ll never admit to you that he cares for you romantically.

So, as time goes on, Sylus is fated to deceive you with the idea of him not loving you. A heartless cycle it is, but it’s for the better.

–

Confusion stretches upon you while you stir awake, bringing your fingers to your lips with trembling fatigue. Expecting carmine-stained flowers, you attempt to see if more fall from your lips — but only decaying residue slips from your lips.

Baffled, you softly bring yourself to sit up in your ample shared bed — furrowing your brows with conflict. Naturally, aren’t you supposed to be within the last stage? A stage so recklessly tragic and preventable? However, here you remain, tainted with the elements of the unknown.

Instinctively cradling your baby bump, you survey the room with caution — only to notice an asleep Sylus. Sylus who’s settled in a large chair by you, guaranteed to have been watching you throughout the whole excruciating nocturne.

Why did he even bother? Bother to nestle up nearby you, keeping a watchful eye on you — despite the mental storm that engulfs you?

No, why aren’t you coughing up flowers and blood anymore?

“Did he perform secret surgery on me?” Pouting, you stir your gaze towards a blanket-less Sylus, questioning yourself.

Yet, all you felt was an insatiable love — longing for him to return such a thing. However, you cast yourself into trying to suppress your romantic feelings — unwilling to relapse into Hanahaki disease.

“I’m so confused,” Turning to Sylus, you frown – unsure of why no flowers stain your lips.

“Sylus?” Nudging Sylus, you attempt to wake him up – smearing a blanket upon his peaceful state.

“Hm?” Confused, Sylus wakes up – glancing at you with slight defensiveness.

Defensiveness you truly didn’t get.

“Shouldn’t I be dead by now?” Pouting, you cup your baby bump – your lips furrowing at Sylus’ lack of concern.

.

“No, I’m just as shocked as you are, sweetie,” Sylus softly responds, shifting in his seat – tenderly smiling at your prominent baby bump.

“Sylus, be truthful,” Analytical, your tone grows more commanding – silently pleading for Sylus to open his heart.

“You being pregnant could have stopped it,” Fibbing, Sylus maintains eye contact, “After all, why would our child love me if they don’t know me?” Noticing your swelling tears, Sylus’ physique grows tense.

“That’s not possible,” Distraught, you gently mutter – uncomfortable at the mental murkiness that adheres to you.

“But–”

“Say that you don’t love me, Sy’,” Feeling the extent of Sylus’ deception, you resiliently stand before him – concealing your trembling hand.

“I refuse to trigger the disease again,” Unwavering, Sylus contradicts your statement – calculated and torn.

“Please, let me have this one thing, Sy’,” Trying to remain mentally stable, you sit your pregnant self upon Sylus’ lap – glancing down at him.

“S-Sweetie,” Mentally at a stalemate, Sylus gently rubs your back – stupidly much more smitten than he would ever let on.

“I still love you, so tell me that you don’t love me so I can finally mentally move on,” Confessing, you breathily breathe, “This is the least you owe me.” Holding back your sombreness, you maintain eye contact.

“That’s something I can’t do,” Sentimental, Sylus grips onto you tighter – irritated at the distasteful strings of fate.

A fate that bounds him. Inevitably, Sylus is a caged bird.

–

do not copy, modify or claim any of my works as your own. all rights reserved; cosycafune. 2024. small banners credit: cafekitsune <3

[transgenderer]

Would it be ethical to let your children starve to death if you donated all their meals to charity?

Let’s say I have a child that needs surgery, he’s got a disease, he’s gonna die, my insurance company won’t cover it, I’ll need to pay out of pocket, I ask the doctor how much it will be, he says “5k.” What is more moral:

A) spend 5k getting my own child the surgery

B) send 5k to AMF to give anti-malarial nets to Africans

I don’t have another 5k saved up, so it’s one or the other

so, i think these two asks are of a kind, but the latter is neater, so ill answer the latter primarily, with the obvious implications for the former

so, this is a tough question! i think theres a lot of explanations you can come up with, for why your own child is more important. perhaps most significantly, no one else cares about your child, but other people care about as much as you about the statistical african child youre saving. obv problems there, but theres an argument. you could also make all sorts of practical calculations ("calculations") that say the net benefit is higher with your child, whatever, its actually not important

i dont think any of that stuff is the real reason. real reason, is that you care about your child more than you care about the african child, and you want to act in accordance with what you care about. and i dont think thats wrong! or, to the extent that it is "wrong", ethics isn't doing what we want it to. i think ethics, insofar as it is a decision theory, has to include self-interest. that trying to remove self-interest from a decision theory is a...mathematical toy example, and not what ethics is really for or about. so yeah, help your kid! but youre not helping your kid out of altruism, youre helping your kid out of self-interest, and that's fine! the same way its fine to do all the other things out of self-interest.

but there's this other thing, actual altruism, helping people because you think its the right thing to do, even though it will never benefit you outside of warm fuzzies (which, if you were willing to accept delusion, you could get easier), and that thing is valuable, and important, and the human mind must be constantly dragged towards it. but its not the only thing. there are at least two poles in any ethical system i can accept, a pole towards the self and a pole towards the universal Good, and every ethics must be stuck in the tug between them. there might be other poles to. beauty, probably. community, maybe, although i think community is actually just long-term (like, over the course of a life, not long term as in 1000 years) self-interest (which is fine).

[physalian]

“Why doesn’t the villain just kill the heroes?”

Ah, plot armor. If you want to be a real go-getter and think up a more creative way for the heroes to always narrowly escape death out of sheer dumb luck, the villain being too slow on the draw, or the villain simply not thinking of it in the moment, you have to come up with a reason for why the villain doesn’t just kill the hero.

Four examples today.

1. Zhao & Aang

In “The Blue Spirit,” Aang is captured by Zhao, a man normally not above anything to further his agenda, including murder. The Avatar is the largest obstacle in his way, second to the Earth Kingdom, and all he has to do to take Aang off the gameboard is to kill a twelve-year-old. He’s got Aang in chains, not quite powerless but harmless enough, and could do it quickly.

So why doesn’t he? Per Zhao himself, if he kills Aang, the Avatar cycle will continue, born into some random water bender that may take them years to track down. Sure, they’ll be harmless for a few years and the Fire Nation might get lucky and find them easily, perhaps even sway the new one to their side, but what if the waterbending Avatar is born into the Foggy Swamp? Or they end up having to kill them, too, and then have to track down an earthbending Avtar across the entire Earth Kingdom? Does Zhao really want to take that chance when he can just keep Aang alive? Just barely?

Of course not.

Killing the hero in this case might stop the immediate threat, but it will just delay the inevitable, thus it’s in the villain’s best interest to exploit a loophole while likely committing war crimes in the process. He gets to secure a Fire Nation victory and make Aang suffer for the rest of his life.

Ozai doesn't kill Aang until the first chance he gets, which just so happens to be the series finale. And we all know why Aang has a no-kill policy.

2. Sam, Dean & The Angels and Demons

Hahaha it’s the show known for its refusal to kill its heroes. We’re gonna ignore everything past season 5. There’s obviously meta reasons—kill the main characters and you have zero supporting cast that could realistically take over the show.

But in season 4, despite multiple deaths already for both of them, so begins the “if you die we’ll just bring you back” threat, because they’re angels and angels can do that. Similar to Aang, Sam and Dean risk a fate far worse than death if they don’t cooperate with Zachariah’s plans. He happily gives them both a slew of diseases and illnesses to get his way whenever he gets the chance and reminds them both that if they just kill themselves to escape the Apocalypse, he’ll happily revive them. The Demons won't kill Sam and Dean because they're necessary to further their own plans by breaking certain seals on Lucifer's cage, though they're not above breaking bones and killing bystanders.

Fate worse than death is a popular threat, but usually the heroes offing themselves is still a viable, if deeply unpopular, option. Supernatural removes it entirely and for such a simple little detail, it does a lot to make their survivability believable.

3. Batman & Joker

Ahh the age old furious rant by people who don’t understand Batman: If Batman killed his villains they’d stop busting out of Arkham and murdering innocent civilians, Batman has so much blood on his hands—

Babe. Babe, he’s a comic book character. By his very nature, he can’t kill his villains otherwise he’d have no rogues gallery. Comic books are like a giant board of Monopoly, going around in circles and occasionally having a timeout in jail.

But the in universe reason there’s no killing has been essayed about extensively and so has why Joker doesn’t try harder to kill him, but I couldn’t not include these two. Batman does not kill because he is not judge, jury, and executioner of his villains, most of whom have mental health issues and while they certainly know better and their crimes aren’t justified, his villains need actual therapy and help and medication, not death. Even those who he might agree must be stopped and there’s no other way except murder, Batman himself will not be the one to pull the trigger. He must remain a hero, so that no matter who he comes across in the dark alleyways of Gotham, they know he’s not here to kill them, be it criminal or victim.

Joker doesn’t kill Batman for a much simpler reason, and Heath Ledger literally says it: “I won’t kill you because you’re too much fun.” He does not need a more convoluted reason, he enjoys the game, the chase, the tug of war (most versions of him, at least) and to kill Batman would be to end his greatest form of entertainment, and the only person probably in the whole world who is neither afraid of Joker nor dismissive of him as simply a freak.

4. Optimus and Megatron

Optimus Prime and Megatron are very similar to Batman and Joker but with literal eons of history between them. In most serialized Transformers media, as opposed to movies where the plot is more urgent, Megatron both wants to win Optimus over and just can't quite let himself finally win. Who is he without his rival, after all this time?

Optimus is in the same boat, refusing to kill him because he's still holding out hope for Megatron's redemption, that there's a peaceful way to end this war (no matter how much collateral both leaders end up causing). Shit gets real whenever Optimus breaks the unspoken rules of their no-kill rivalry and Megatron gets incredibly pissy about it because he's in love.

—

Suggestions to workshop this plot hole in your own narrative:

The hero staying alive is absolutely paramount to the villain’s plan (in which case, you have to have rock solid reasons for why they keep narrowly escaping capture)

The villain is so confident in their plan that they don’t even consider the hero a proper threat

The villain doesn't really have a bodycount, but if they kill the hero, suddenly all the other powers that be will take them seriously and they'll have a huge mess on their hands

The villain is so full of themselves or so in love with their rival that it’d break their heart to have to kill them just to win

The villain is simply not capable of murder either physically or morally (perhaps because the hero is a child)

Killing the hero would make them a martyr and the villain would end up with a far bigger mess on their hands when the lone hero is replaced with an avenging army

The villain is too proud to simply kill the hero and wants to win fairly in a proper fight on the battlefield and not take the cheap and easy shot

The villain does not have a phyiscal form or real presence in the plot, acting through their minions, and their minions are incompetent

It’s simply not fun if the hero dies/the hero is the only one who understands them and they’d lose far more than they’d gain by killing them

The villain still wants to try and win the hero over and is so dedicated to this path that they regularly sabotage their own plans desperate to change the hero’s mind

The villain firmly believes in a fate worse than death and while the hero’s survival isn’t crucial to the main plan, they want the hero to watch their own failure/become the villain’s minion/ prisoner/ partner by the end

There’s a million examples out there to pull from and I could keep listing them all night. So long as whatever it is doesn’t come out of nowhere or open a plot hole of “why didn’t they just do that earlier?” you can get quite creative.

One last example that’s a personal favorite of mine to implement: In Eternal Night of the Northern Sky there aren’t too many opportunities to ask this question, but when it does arise, Villain A has Hero B as a meat shield, and while Hero B’s love interest, Hero C, is more than happy to shoot through them to incapacitate Villain A, the person they take orders from isn’t so reckless, which later leads to Drama and Issues.

[wheelie-sick]

im gonna be blunt i dont get your angle on the adhd meds post. like yeah some disabilities/chronic illnesses are more likely to injure or kill you than others, why are we comparing? if i dont get my thyroid medication i have a pretty decent chance of dying young of congestive heart failure in about 20 years, but in the short term, it will just make my life more difficult and unpleasant due to hypothyroid symptoms not being immediately deadly. like... why are we playing this oppression olympics shit?

ADHD does not kill you. it's not oppression olympics to say "ADHD does not kill you" that is just a fact that people apparently really hate to hear. the only people playing oppression olympics are the people with ADHD insisting that ADHD is a deadly disease because they feel invalidated by the fact that some people have deadly illnesses and need to feel like they're the "sickest." it's not oppression olympics to point out that the danger of lupus is not comparable to the "danger" of ADHD. that is just a fact. statistics show that 10% of people with lupus will die from it and an even larger percent of people with pediatric lupus will die from it. statistics do not show that for ADHD because ADHD does not directly kill you.

I also said absolutely nothing about thyroid medication.