#the top of my heap

[prahacat]

5 things I like to write about

got tagged by the lovely @cocotter and just had to fill this (really like to write about the things I like to write about)

Decay. Mostly the decay of the mind, as my characters become so obsessed with an idea that it erodes their morality and drives them to make increasingly desperate and dumb decisions, often ending in tragedy. There's just something so tasty about writing a slow descent into madness. <3

Loneliness. Perhaps it's my love for introspective passages, but I tend to isolate my characters. They're stuck in remote settings, trapped in some kind of twisted reality only they experience (hello time loop horror), they feel like they have no one to really talk to, or they're just stubborn idiots who are unable to open up. Either way, they're lonely and longing for a kindred soul.

Grief. In a lot of my fics, the characters are haunted by loss, mourning either an actual death (sorry, Qui-Gon, you got fridged again) or their broken family relationships. Very often, this will be one of the few things they can actually bond over. I love to explore how they cope with their grief or find healing (unfortunately, they mostly just deal with it via 1)

Nature. This is more tricky to incorporate if you're writing fics that are set on Coruscant or aboard cold spaceships, but I love to sneak in a bit of nature-related world-building if I can. My fics will often feature descriptions of nature, cute animals, therapeutic gardening, or characters taking a stroll in nature to collect their thoughts (and I don't care about the canon stance on this, I want Dooku's palace to have gardens and greenhouses and all that pretty shit)

Obi-Wan and Dooku. Fairly obvious, I suppose :'D But the list wouldn't be complete without them. These babies are rotting my brain 24/7, there's all kinds of potential here and I'm never gonna get tired of squeezing them for tons of juicy goodness.

Tagging @rochenn @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart (if you haven't done this one already)

[iceman-maverick]

this audio is going crazy on tiktok rn but i can't post edits there since my account is monetized so here it shall live 💃

[sarucane]

Ed Teach's Stories

From practically the moment we meet him, Ed's identity is unstable. We know who is he (Blackbeard) from context, from the story told by the the room around him, by Izzy and the flag his crew. But the thing is, Ed doesn't fit the story of the Mad Devil Blackbeard. Two of his first few words are "good" and "love" for crying out loud. He's called "Blackbeard," but his beard is grey.

This instability exists because Ed himself isn't sure what story he's telling--or wants to tell. "I shouldn't be bored, I'm fucking Blackbeard!" All through his early episodes Ed is in increasingly desperate tension with his own identity. He's trying to tell stories within stories, wanting all the stories to be true at the same time, yet aware of the reality that the world is constantly trying to wipe one or another of the stories away. And not really trusting that he can tell the whole story of who he is.

In the first season of OFMD, Stede wears a different outfit every episode. Yet Stede remains the same: despite his internal tensions (almost despite himself) there's a stability to his identity. But all through both seasons of OFMD, Ed putting on a new outfit means he's trying to tell a completely different story about himself.

And underneath this cacophony, there's Ed. And Ed is himself a chorus of stories, a living contradiction. A patricidal murderer who was protecting his mother; a paragon of masculinity who longs for softness and fluidity; a man renowned for violence and madness who has in fact carefully cultivated that reputation and is extremely careful with his violence; a killer who doesn't kill, yet who does kill all the time just at a bit of a remove; a half a dozen names and personas and yet always Ed; unloveable, yet deeply loved.

At the beginning of the show, Ed isn't actually good at telling his own story. He's good at listening to other people's stories, and conforming himself to them often without conscious effort. But when he tries to really tell his own story--asking Stede to run off to China, singing his break-up song song, going to become a fisherman--he fails. We don't understand in the first season why his judgement clouds, why he becomes weak when he tries to tell his story. But in the second season after spending half an episode in Ed's mind, a painful truth is undeniable: Ed, like Stede, doesn't think he's worthy of telling his own story.

So instead of telling his own story, Ed let other people tell his story. In the first season, Ed built off what Izzy told him he had to be. But he couldn't lose himself in Blackbeard, no matter how hard he tried. So in the second season, when Ed couldn't face living with his contradictions anymore, he wrote an ending worthy of Blackbeard.

All this, because Ed thinks he can only be "himself" by telling one, single story about himself. By denying his contradictions, rather than embracing them. Splitting himself in two to tell himself a story, rather than telling the story himself.

What Ed doesn't believe or trust is this: For Ed to really be himself, he has to be impossible. Two contradictory things, at the same time.

The second season of OFMD is about learning to embrace all these contradictions. In each episode of OFMD, character look at the same object or situation (a wanted poster, a unicorn, a velvety suit, a relationship, a past trauma) and they tell two completely different stories about it. Sometimes one of those stories turns out to be wrong, but more often than not both are true, and something else--something beautiful-- is born from the place where those contradictions meet. And the characters, Ed most of all, learn to accept and balance this dissonance.

Thematically speaking, I'd argue that's why the second season of OFMD is more fantastical than the first: fantasies are contradictions, real and not-real at the same time. And isn't that what transformation is, in the end? What you are and what you are not, meeting and becoming "you"?

Transformation isn't all good. At first, Ed's fantastic stories hide his pain or invoke despair

But later, the fantasies make their way into reality. The impossible begins to shape reality--and opens a way for hope.

In the last episode of S2, Ed emerges from the waves as the kraken--but there's 3 musical tracks playing, three themes: the kraken, Ed, and Blackbeard. Then he reads a love letter, and has a deeply romantic moment with his boyfriend. He puts on a new outfit to escape the British, yet his personality doesn't change at all. When Izzy first apologizes to him, Ed says "I'm the one who should be apologizing," but then Izzy changes his entire understanding of their relationship. Becomes the first family figure to offer Ed permission to be himself.

Contradictions galore, and yet Ed is still Ed. Both who he was formed into by other people (his father, Izzy, Pop Pop) and yet who he is.

In the final scenes, Ed begins to finally accept the tensions of his life. He tells Zheng that yes, he wants to kill Richie--but he doesn't go on a revenge quest. And while before his forays into being someone else meant changing his name, his clothes and mannerisms, his whole story, he doesn't act like that at all in the last scene of the ep.

And Ed's been able to do all this, to come this far, because of Stede. Stede, who Ed was drawn to because he was a "fancy man who leads a brigade of imbeciles," yet had won a fight with Izzy. Stede, who looked at Ed at his lowest moment, after Ed had admitted that the entire basis of their friendship had been in bad faith, and said, "I'm your friend." Stede who, even knowing Ed wouldn't want to hear from him, poured his heart into letters about how their bond was unbreakable.

Stede is everything he is, all at the same time. And when Ed was drowning in his own contradictions, (a rope tied around him that he could not undo and yet had put on himself) trapped somewhere "inevitable, yet impossible," Stede appeared as a fantastic, beautiful creature and brought him home.

Stede lets Ed be everything he is, and sees it all as true and worthy of love. Even when Ed fucks up, it's all right.

And sometimes, telling two different stories about something doesn't lead to a fragmented self, doesn't drive people apart.

Sometimes, it means understanding. Means acceptance, safety, connection.

From discordance (contradiction), harmony. A gentleman can be a pirate. A man can be a bird, or a unicorn. Izzy can have been one of the good ones and a fucking nightmare. And Ed can tell all his stories, they can all be true--and he can still be Ed.

[realasslesbian]

I just had to share this email I got so all y'all can appreciate the absolute state of welfare services in Australia with me:

The NILs Loan Scheme is a government funded, no interest loan scheme for people on low incomes, but this leaves me wondering exactly who tf can qualify for their loans. Because it seems like if you have any symptoms of poverty it's a no.

I applied because I need the clutch replaced in my van, which I live in. It's lucky that I actually CAN afford the cost myself (due to living in a van & not participating in Australia's increasingly ridiculous housing market). I thankfully can afford such an expense these days & was just looking for a responsible financial buffer, just in case. But if this had happened to me a few years ago when I first became homeless and was far less financially stable, then my next living situation wouldn't be "affordable housing" it would be a fucking tent.

Anyway, the backwards ass state of a GOVERNMENT FUNDED welfare scheme refusing to assist those who need welfare the most because they don't want to encourage homelessness or whatever the dumb fuck? Just really rustled my jimmies tbh. Just screams "yet another govt welfare scheme that's actually just about handing out money to fake charities & not helping the poor". Good Shephard just got on the "do not donate to these grifters" list along with the Salvos😒

[mo-ok]

🥷 Ninja of Ninja 🥷

[speaknowworldtour]

day 2: the tortured poets department

“and i chose you” // “i chose this cyclone with you” // “we found wonderland, you and i got lost in it. and life was never worse but never better”

“i promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me” // “who’s gonna hold you like me? and who’s gonna know you like me?” // “you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had”

“and if i would’ve known how many pieces you had crumbled into i might have let them lay” // “but i’ve read this one where you come undone”

“i think i’ve seen this film before and i didn’t like the ending” // “but i’ve seen this episode and still love the show” // “cause i know exactly where it leads but i watch us go round and round each time”

“and in the end in wonderland, we both went mad” // “everyone we know understands why we’re meant to be. cause we’re crazy”

[oathkeeperoxas]

TOP GUN / icemav fic recs part 2

Rec list 1 here

I'm back again with another collection of talented fics from the icemav tag on ao3 - as in the first list I've tried not to repeat authors to get a breadth of talent on show here, but please check out what else these authors have written and give them some love too!

Call Me https://archiveofourown.org/works/41694033/chapters/104590443 by EdwardJay

Ice and Maverick have a rule.

Icemav get together when Ice is an Admiral – featuring responsible Mav picking up Ice when he’s too drunk to drive, and drunk Ice who just wants his long term crush to fuck him on the back of his motorcycle. Very good, and very hot.

Touch, has brought us here https://archiveofourown.org/works/45816259/chapters/115302682 by Inquaire

"The broad smile slipped from the shorter pilot's face, instead replaced with a delicate upturn of the corners of his lips. This felt more private, like it was only for Iceman to see. Yearning flashed, for a brief moment, in both of their eyes and suddenly, one was pulling the other into a hug. When asked later, Ice wouldn't be able to tell who tugged first. All he knew is that there was an almost breathtaking, electrifying aura surrounding them both." Or: what was supposed to be a slightly angsty short about Mav being touch starved, turned into a hurt/comfort ridden story about Ice and his feelings™

Post TG86, with Ice and Mav circling around each other slowly, trying to figure out their feelings – with a bunch of touching while they do so.

The Usually Tearless https://archiveofourown.org/works/39827352 by BigBellRings

Iceman and Maverick, in a better time when they were married, but not an ideal time when they were accepted.

A really interesting exploration of Ice’s family and his relationship with them, and how that impacts his relationship with Mav. With some really good icemav interactions that made my heart melt.

Time to let go https://archiveofourown.org/works/41079648 by AortaArgent

For the wonderful TopGunKinkmeme prompt for old man trans Maverick getting some loving. Shifting on the seat, Maverick puts one hand to the top of his jeans and flicks the button open, passing his thumb over the hard metal edge and toying with his zipper idly. The boxers he’s wearing were a gift from Ice (and for Ice), ones with black mesh up the sides. Riding low on his hips, shimmery black waistband wide and elastic enough for him to tuck his thumb into it and make a good show of snapping it against his lower belly. Ice tilts the bottle up - eyes never leaving Mav’s open jeans - and takes a long drink before wiping his mouth with his thumb. “You’re gonna have to ask me if you want this to go anywhere, baby.”

Trans Mav well what can I say but yes. This is incredibly well written, with the longing and yearning and grief of Mav going off to war yet again with Ice staying behind, and the both of them making the most of this slice of time before they’re separated again.

there's just no getting through, without you, a bottle of rouge (just me and you) https://archiveofourown.org/works/41525490/chapters/104145648 by @victimofthemusic

“C’mon, Ice,” Maverick goads gently, tugging at his hand. “Dance with me.” There’s a challenging glinting in those sea-foam eyes, like he’s daring Ice to say no—like he would ever want to tell this beautiful man no, like he even could—and judging by the victorious smirk he gets when Maverick successfully tugs him to his feet, he knows it, too. Or: Ice, Mav, a bottle of wine, a little Al Green & the house to themselves. You do the math.

So soft and domestic I’m losing my mind a little bit. Very in love icemav, very loving each other icemav, with a romantic evening and even more romantic night.

Small Victories https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791349 by @m-madeleine

Ice and Mav go on a trip, but nothing's ever straightforward when Mav's involved. He'll readily admit that.

This made my heart all soft and achy in a good way – Ice’s caution and yet how he’s willing to take a risk for Mav really ties into how I see their characters, and the author’s set up and pay off is done incredibly well.

something off my chest https://archiveofourown.org/works/39307101/chapters/98363907 by Hyacinthus

Maverick's tired of Ice being in control all the time.

Mav taking the lead, and Ice following where he goes will probably be my favourite icemav dynamic of all time. That plus Ice sucking cock will always be 💯 for me

When The Tide Subsides https://archiveofourown.org/works/43590073/chapters/109600816 by anonymous

Maverick returns home following the events of Top Gun: Maverick battered, exhausted and more than a little bruised. Good thing Tom is there for him, in more ways than one.

Established relationship post Top Gun Maverick reunion soft sex where both Ice and Mav get to roll around in the sensations of being alive and having each other!!

i like the sound of that https://archiveofourown.org/works/42305742 by redwithlove

Ice comes across as stuck-up; he struts around with a stick up his ass, assured of his place as the top dog. There have been enough times where Maverick has butted heads with him and thought about sticking something else up his ass. And now that’s actually happening. Quite literally. Huh. Interesting how things play out.

OP starting the bottom Ice party with this one honestly, and I thank them for it every day. PWP with rimming and Ice getting his mind blown in more than one way.

International Delivery https://archiveofourown.org/works/41196906 by @icemav86

When Ice has to travel for work, Mav surprises him with a gift to help him feel closer to home. Or, Mav gets Ice a custom dildo.

The summary says it all, really. Very in character, very hot, would recommend!

Mutual Orbit https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029385 by @icemankazansky

Going home.

The pining and the ‘together but still working things out’ vibes throughout this are exquisite. This is an incredible character study and view into the icemav relationship at this point in time, with the author absolutely nailing the messy emotions and yearning that these two feel for each other.

sing into my mouth https://archiveofourown.org/works/42778782 by themodernmerlin

"If I have to pick between flying and you, I pick you, every time.”

Ice and Mav celebrate Ice’s remission with dinner and a date and a night holed up together.

[yannfredericks]

I keep thinking like owwwww I miss cursed child and then I’m like girl you saw it literally two weeks ago but the truth is what I’m missing is the 2016 mystery of it all

[spider-man-2o99]

consider this my spiritual successor to the other post i did like this with “i.. becamed a vampire”

[grimalditeuthis]

midnight burger loves to destroy my vocabulary im incapable of describing any kind of loud noise without saying The Loudness:)

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 6, day 11

More materials! This time we have granite :D Brown is the default settings for the material setup, purple is with the settings played with :3

[a-nybodys]

ed so very clearly was going through a DEEP ass manic episode with the whole talent show thing to the point that he has no recollection of it, and i for one think thats so fucking tasty

[galaxseacreature]

made some "avocado chips" tonight and they're pretty good actually. but they're also basically parmesan crisps. so ofc they are

[dontwanderoff]

oh. i see why people complain about victoria's education recruitment online website now

[shima-draws]

Day two (2) of me ignoring my responsibilities to replay Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility (2008)

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

I am uncanny valley walking, I am inhuman.

— Illex Corva.