#the themes are theming so hard this patch
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Slept on my Thoughts and Big Feelings™ about yesterday's patch, here we go (in true stereotypical fashion, this got a bit longer than I initially thought)
Spoilers for the 7.3 story moments (impside)
So obviously this was a very character-centric patch and its highlights really were the cutscenes. Like many people, I expected slightly more out of the gameplay part of the patch, especially after 7.2 and everything we got on Ruhnuk...
But the team really, really pulled through on what we got out of the cutscenes.
Rivix seems like a slimy bastard and I alternated between cheering him on for decking that other random Sithy guy and praying for his downfall at Tau's hand (you'll get him next time baby girl <3)
pleasantly surprised to see him immediately contact the Commander, and YET, I am and will remain suspicious of his every move and will anticipate the inevitable backstabbing
"what about your fascinating Hutt scientist?", mum come pick me up, i'm scared
Sa'har's interactions with Ri'kan make me want to bawl my eyes out, why can't Bioware ever let siblings be happy, she's so gentle but so blind and he's drowning in resentment and rage and they are so doomed
"I had little choice. Some earn what they have. Some are given everything", "and some lost it all", "you dare speak to me of suffering" I am going Insane™
Heta is so delulu it would be funny if it didn't make the situation go from worse to worser so fast, "it's never safe to change a galaxy, never easy to fight corruption and hypocrisy" be for fucking real
Sa'har, just say the word and we WILL come and pick you up (i have all the adoption papers ready whenever)
"I would be more than happy to go over the details", "... But not right now" PLEASE the Commander is SO TIRED lmaoo
not Oggurobb admiring Darth Nul's work, can you please focus
more on The Discrovery™ later in this post
Mind you, I played this whole patch on my main (Elias my love <3), who is a Saboteur ex-Imperial Agent, but...
my god, the Torian alert talk hit Different™
whoever decided this should be a cutscene and not just a letter... you are everything. It felt raw, it felt reflective, it felt absolutely necessary and i'm really liking the depth it is bringing with it
"I agree with Heta about the banner being used as a symbol of shame and betrayal. And yet... how dare she burn it"
"How you feel about your past is for you to decide"
"I spent so much time trying to be better than my history, I didn't stop to think about where I came from", "Good and bad, this box contains my past. Who my father was. My family. My sense of right and wrong. I can open it and remember when I need to, or I can leave it shut. The choice is mine."
It's the intergenerational trauma, fighting against yet embracing your history to shape your future and find your own purpose in life, I-
This Barbie is an ex-war criminal haunted by the Past!! And so am I!!
The whole Malgus cutscene was incredible and I probably spent at least half an hour (if not more) just going over all the different options.
flirting with Theron at work!! In front of our bestie Lana who is So Done™!! "May I remind you both we still have more to discuss", it never gets old <3
was actually shocked by how involved Theron was in the cutscene? actually had a lot of lines and he felt materially present in a way that i hadn't seen in a loong time (I will never ever kill Theron off [I have morals and I love him, your Honour] but I do wonder how the cutscene looks when you don't have him around?)
Theron calling the Imperial characters the fuck out is a kink I didn't know I had, but I do, so thank you for that
"Some higher-up is all sweaty about my past contracts with Malgus", "One of those contracts was destroying the defense grid on Coruscant during an Imperial invasion", get her ass my love!!
the tensions with Shae are back and, listen, I love our problematic girlie as much as the next person (too much), but I am thriving
"Don't you get it? With the holocron, Heta is part of that plan, willing or not", "You weren't interested in the holocron when you shot a teenager out of nowhere we ran into Sa'har", the girls are FIGHTING
I just can't get over how similar yet different they both are. Probably won't resonate with all Outlanders, but as a former Imperial agent, Elias NEVER thought he would become a Leader of any sort. He was always content to stick to the shadows, do what he does best with few restrictions and little scrutiny. It's so so so interesting to see Shae feeling like she owes so much to her people and yet struggling so much with being Mandalore
"Make him think you understand" and isn't the interesting part that some Outlanders really might understand, at least in part? Unique perspectives indeed.
"You and I are very much alike. I couldn't stand it when my mind was at the mercy of another... I don't fault you for wanting to break free" (patch 7.1)
"... few minds can comprehend my vision", "none who have stood by my side have understood this. The only one who could have... is my enemy" (patch 7.3)
Mirrors and narrative foils and the weight of our choices and I'm going Insane™ once again
we didn't learn much from the interrogation that we didn't really already know or couldn't suspect, it was very much about the Themes™
I know it's controversial, but I actually like the Nul and Mandalorian plots intermingling
"The Mandalorians are fractured... a broken people. They struggle to decide who they are", something that is so so important in basically all of the Mando characters we have here. Torian, Akaavi, even the Ordo brothers, Heta herself of course and the Varad, the Dar'manda and the Ash'ad, SHAE SHAE SHAE
I am going to ignore how this would inevitably resonate in many Outlanders too, the longing for home versus the morality of doing what's right for the galaxy and fighting your home and saving your independance but never knowing if it's going to be enough-
it was a bit weird that there was no way to prevent Shae from listening in on Malgus' interrogation, but then again, the whole scene where he bypasses us to speak to her directly is so powerful that I can't really mind too much
the them of HISTORY strikes again!!
"Can you not see it? The past looms over us all... a shadow of unchanging history. There are fools who believe they can outrun the shadow. Without a flame to chase it away, it will consume them - they are doomed to repeat the same failures"
the SILENCE once you get back from the interrogation is so LOUD and I felt a true sense of heaviness from it
Unfortunately, I feel like the Voss part of the patch was the weakest in many ways. I haven't played Shrine of Silence yet (the Flashpoint), but it is (as was announced) not required for the main story content.
The highlights truly were, again, the characters.
Arcann is back!! and we get to have a very nice talk with him about redemption, acceptance and forgiveness. all things that felt very important for Arcann's journey (and for my MC as well, actually)
"I saw centuries worth of horrors committed by my father. I felt the rage and the cruelty born of my desperation to please him", "I was afraid I saw those ruins because I was doomed to follow in his [my father's] footsteps", navigating intergenerational trauma and trying to trace the lines between what you suffered and what you are responsible of, painfully delicious
"I will never expect forgiveness - or even acceptance - from anyone I have hurt. But I will cherish any that is offered", what, me, crying? no, it's just raining, i would never cry (i am bawling like a little baby and will never stop)
can't say I was that surprised to learn that Darth Nul had been a Jedi before being corrupted over to the dark side, but I'm glad that finally puts to rest the "Lana is Darth Nul" theories
I am very intrigued by that Force power of hers , however : "she could mentally bond with anyone who could feel the Force. In those who did not recognize their own abilities, she awakened that realisation", okay, but what does it mean exactly?
the Voss stuff was otherwise a little bit on the forgettable side, I must admit (but I'm always happy to come back to Voss, so it's okay)
"[the Three] would never share them with an outsider, even one of your status", hmmm, excuse you, Sana-Rae, but I was once married to a Voss lady, doesn't that count for something
And just like that we were back to doing little chores-like quests and rocking it KOTOR-dialogue style. Which was okay, but not groundbreaking by any means.
of course it was Czerka, of course it was
out of all the side quests, I really liked the cantina one, it was so silly
the talk with Sana-Rae before going to see the Three was really touching <3 It really is all about personal choices and finding one's purpose even if it clashes with what you were taught growing up
the... prophecy itself is very vague and doesn't give us much more than what we've learned so far
"Life will be reshaped... scales unbalanced... A wave of change rises and falls... beyond the reach of Darth Malgus... and as he dreams, he awakens a great power... one that will tear the galaxy apart"
"Should Darth Malgus perish, this catastrophe will transpire more quickly"
I can't for the life of me begin to guess at what the devs have in store for us, but you can colour me intrigued for sure (and a bit wary)
the sheer unavoidability of "what is to come" is ???
and yet, somehow, "whatever is to come from this, it is you... who will choose the fate of us all"
"I'm tired of being responsible for the consequences of every decision"
"You can fight against destiny, but it is inescapable"
When I tell you boyo is TIRED
Overall, very strong themes for this patch. The way both the past and the future are inescapable, unavoidable, dooms that we cannot run away from.
The way we have to embrace them, embrace who we are, who we were and who we can become.
The way there is always a choice, there always has to be a choice.
#swtor#swtor 7.3#swtor 7.3 spoilers#7.3 spoilers#7.3 Old Wounds#the themes are theming so hard this patch#overall i don't think this is as strong a patch as Ruhnuk was#and I imagine (I hope?) that the story will move forward massively with 7.4 (which has already been confirmed)#But it was still fun#The cutscenes were phenomenal and you can tell just how much love went into making them#OC: Elias O'Hara (Imperial Agent)#Theron Shan#Lana Beniko#Torian Cadera#Arcann Tirall#Sana-Rae#Shae Vizla#Darth Malgus#Darth Rivix
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It's the 2 month anniversary of this blog! Here's all the main MTXT couples to celebrate.
#Poorly drawn MDZS#MDZS#wei wuxian#lan wangji#SVSSS#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#TGCF#xie lian#hua cheng#san lang#Per semi-popular request (people wanted to see the other MXTX characters in my style). I hope you are satisfied#the SVSSS dialogue is a quote from yagrandmapeach's disco elysium comic series (also huge shout out to said artist)#I tried very hard to find the comic so I could link it but alas B*(#lwj and wwx are freak for freak and we know this#and biblically accurate xie lian might get me thrown into the flames but...I'm right. he's ripped.#Not even twunky ripped but full on shredded.#I also fully stand by my hua cheng. He talks up his real form as being 'ohhh so monstrous' just to be....slightly taller with an eye patch?#BOO!!!! I want him to be uncanny!!! I want him lanky and inhuman!#Xie lian deserves to be a monsterfucker!!!!!! It also fully goes with the themes of their relationship so!!! Why not!!!#the TGCF crew doesn't have a text joke because I got rid of it (it was “guys with the same BMI be like:”)#It just didn't fit B*(#'op which of these couples do you like best'#You will have to pin me down and waterboard me for that answer#All this aside!!! thank you guys so much for a wild and beautiful 2 months!
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stanley parable bible symbolism (the crowd goes wild)
honestly i put too many details into snookie9 over here look at the fact their headphones are unplugged cause their ass is not listening look at the fact theyre uhhh apple headphones (im so funny) and the cookie and eveyrhting just look at them
also the snake, thats,, not subtle of me in any way
[cookie9 design by tumblr user pilksus!! as per use khdg]
i couldnt resist drawing a lil 432 so. you get him too. my love. hes john-the-baptist themed (what if you wanted to prelude the main guy and do some cool stuff and be associated with commonly sacrifical animals but then you get wiped out the story like a loser) except hes no animal handling training so pls ignore how terrified the sheep seems
i would be too honestly
also this is the first time i think ive ever posted a proper drawing of him!! and this is what you get! wow thats memorable huh
#if the results of this poll wind up being super 'nooooooo dont make him wear animal fur' then FINe ill change the image but#he gets the fur for now methinks#its black#b#because#oh you get the themes#honestly i should actually get designs for stanley & the narrator shouldnt i#i mean my narrator design is just He Is Some Mist Lol#dk how to put thar one down on paper#hes particles of water!! hes a light spray!!!!!! hes a slightly humid patch of air!!!!!!!#i honestly take my hats off to yall#for having proper designs#imagine being able to draw the same guy consistently#or like actually come Up with a guy#i love yalls guys#if you ever have a really cool narrator design#then just know. i am Looking#so hard.#and someday some dark and stormy night i will draw every narrator ever MUAHAHA and then you'll all be sorry#ohhh yes you will#AND THEN ILL DRAW EVERY STANLEY WOOOOOOOOOO#ooooo youll never escape this curse oooooooo#i should probably stop writing tags now shouldnt i#lol#love you byeeee#tobyart
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More kazooieposting because why not. What's your favourite stage theme?
let's see... with kazooie, it's probably clankers cavern because i just really like clanker. he's so cool and i like hanging out with him.
with tooie, while i feel like it's everyones favourite, it's gotta be witchy world. it's just such a fun world overall that it's hard to pick anything else.
#ask#anon#if i had to pick seconds for both? lets see... uhh...#maybe treasure trove cove? i feel like its a close second. just really nice level. except for the clams. fuckars.#theres a fun detail i noticed with treasure trove coves music#so theres a little segment in the tune that appears a bit late thats the exact same chord progression as bottles challenge music#and thats so neat to me because like. where do you go to get a few specific cheat codes? bottles minigame#and where do you put those cheat codes in at? treasure trove cove#its just a really fun touch#but ough... my boy clanker.... i cant pick favourites over my boy clanker...#ill get you out of there man. theres a huge sea out there.#as for tooie... terrydactyland? i always loved playing through its world#i remember watching a tier list recently and they had terrydactyland pretty low on the list. because of how empty it is#which is definitely a fair statement. but as a kid i didnt mind honestly#but really its so hard to pick anything over witchyworld. its music. its theme. the different areas. oughhh.....#i even like mr patch. except for like one part of his design that changes with his return in nuts & bolts.#beyond that. fun design. i like him a lot if we can ignore a part of his design.#i also like how proportionally large the interior of the big top is.#the only thing i dislike about mr patch is his actual boss fight. aiming. aiming eggs at his patches. and hes constantly moving about.#most hated themes? uhhh i cant really pick one in kazooie really. theyre all good even if rusty bucket bay sucks#tooie? probably glitter glutch mine. or jolly roger lagoon.#those two i never liked playing through really.#jolly roger lagoon scared the shit out of me as a kid. i hated the ominous deep hole in the middle of the lagoon#and the underwater segment sucks because so much of the level looks the same.#glitter glutch mine... idk what about it i disliked. it was honestly the one level i dreaded playing the most in the early game#its visuals arent the worst but. idk something about it i didnt really enjoy. maybe those damn fps segments.#anyway! thank you for the ask anon!!! :)
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I try not to hype up anything I do, but my brain is abuzz. abuzzy bee. Got given a gift card for a crappy clothing store (thankful, but I mean, hard to find good items), so I finally bit the bullet and ordered a denim jacket. Now begins the slow process of bleaching, dying, and decorating. Finally going to live out my very simple dream of having a cool denim jacket
#I’m so easy to please#this is so dumb and I’ll probably screw it up and I shouldn’t even say anything lest I embarrass myself#but what started as a joke idea years ago (30+ yr old loser with a hardcore jacket who is he kidding?) is slowly coming to fruition#I have TWO (2) disparate but rad ideas for the design but I’m very torn#I’ll have to poll some people as time goes on#but right now the ideas are: emerald green dye and red roses & floral theme#or: faded goldish dye with a big patch of the Great Red Dragon on the back#it would be cool to have both but tbh shit isn’t cheap in the long run#I’m very torn#bright greens and reds would be beautiful but maybe a little over gaudy? like hard to coordinate an outfit around all that zazz#I do love zazz though…#but a nice muted gold with lots of blacks would definitely go with a lot more outfits. wouldn’t clash with colorful shirts#plus that would look hardcore as fuck.#big William Blake patch on the back. studs and spikes. edgy philosophy patches or whatever#I know it’s a total poser thing to say but I just want to wear something that people are like ‘whoa that dude is dark as hell dawg’#stupid idea but I’ve been thinking about it for awhile#and I want a cool jacket to cover my ugly body so sue me#sorry sorry I’m just pumped up#I ordered it this afternoon so I’ve been thinking about it all day#I wanted a big one and they don’t exactly sell the size I want in local stores so that’s why it’s taken so long to get one#I want lots of room to breathe#rather it be too big than too small#I am really excited though. this’ll be a nice little distraction for awhile. a nice achievable goal.#umm hi I love you#I’m in a really good mood#smooch smooch smooch#you can ignore this#but feel free to shoot me ideas or tell me if you have a cool jacket or anything like that#and also thanks for reading this if you did. I don’t know why you would but I love you for it stranger.#text
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solution nine discourse on the for you page. here's my input: 👎
#yeas yes yes its a dystopia the citizens arent equipped to deal with grief yes yes#however#they did not handle it at all lol#hopefully in the patches they might. try?#that would be nice.#but like it's really hard to feel for the people considering the conditions of their continued survival etc etc. how is it much different f#rom living memory...?#like idk. sucks to be you i guess? damnn. maybe your society is screwing you over. but uh. theres nothing to work with here#the most compelling thing of the entjre area was the lightnjng sickness concept#that was then dropped like a hot potato#frustrating#i just personally cant be made to care for a place so cushioned and sanitized so as to be unaware of reality like that#theres nothing THERE#to feel for...#it needed to be thr central focus of the msq there imo. there needed to be something to force the citizens into a reallt really tough spot#not just. end of entire story. oh noo! our qphene!#and then cut to black#tuliyollal getting the siege scene was fun but i feel like it wouldve gone much farther to see s9 in peril#to further the themes of idk#people are people everywhere! even these people who do not know loss can band together and#spread the liiight of hopeee amongst each other in order to persevere#idk idk idk idk idk IDK#and i GET that the seat of imperial power never suffers the same way their targets do. thats an interesting angle#but i donf know how much i trust them to deliver on this so im just left wondering why they didnt take the easy out to reinforce the themes#edit i literally did forget that there were eeevil soldiers raiding s9 LMFAOOOO Buf also. ghe fact that i forgot. is maybe poignant
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One Piece Fic Recs that occupy my mind nonstop
After really getting into One Piece this past spring, I've been reading as much as tumblr and AO3 have offered me in terms of One Piece content. It's been hard to keep track of everything that I have read, however, certain stories/headcanons/posts linger in my mind and I thought I'd share them with you!
Minors DNI with fics marked as NSFW and for anyone, be sure to read the content warnings the authors have mentioned!
Hope y'all enjoy!
Updated: October 1, 2024
Killer
Childhood Crush by @analogwriting
does involve violent themes, please be sure to read content warnings for each chapter
Will You Let Me? by @fanaticsnail
NSFW, Pollen AU
Dreaming of You by @fanaticsnail
this also includes Heat and Kid
NSFW
The Break (Kid x reader x Killer) by @standfucker
Gore, graphic description of injury/pain/first aid, hurt/comfort, confessions, highly oblivious reader
Rotation (Heat, Kid, Killer, Wire x reader) by @standfucker
explicit NSFW content
Loving you is easy by @sheerxfiction
NSFW
Three Times Killer Tried to Confess and The One Time That He Did by @nina-ya
SFW
Acid, Salt, Fat, and Heat (w/ Kid) by @fanaticsnail
NSFW
Ace
SFW:
A world we are both in by @my-love-is-sunlight
Kiss by @my-love-is-sunlight
Patching Up Ace's Wounds by @nina-ya SFW
there are more of this prompt with different characters btw!
Help by @sanjisprincesswifey
Blinders On by @froggiewrites
Taking the hit for him by @grandline-fics
NSFW:
Open Flame by @willowbelle
Ace + back dimples by @tetzoro
Fated Reunions by @tetzoro
Coward by @mimi-ya
Need by @maddddstuff
Ass or Tits? by @cloudzoro
Follow Through by @froggiewrites
My Pretty Little Thief by @turtletaubwrites
Zoro
SFW:
Bloom by @tetzoro
brazen by @mydearlybeloathed
"we should get married" by @grandlinedreams
wake him up! by @sleepymarimo
He Loves Me by @clare-875
Got me losin' my cool by @bitchimasnake-sss
Insomnia: owner's instruction by @revasserium
NSFW:
The Right Direction by @willowbelle
with hearts aligned by @eelnoise
2 years overdue by @heyitsdoe
pumpkin by @cloudzoro
beg for me by @angel1010xx
Waterflow by @otkuhotgirl
Law
SFW:
touch-starved Law by @maroronoa
the death of me by @weneeya
too sweet for me by @my-love-is-sunlight
there are no conditions by @cozage
Hidden symptoms by @escenariosinfumables
Unspoken affections by @avocadorablepirate
NSFW:
Tethered Together by @tetzoro
Luffy
A secret by @missmugiwara
18+, suggestive
SFW:
you can talk to me, but you already know by @mydearlybeloathed
clueless by @grandline-fics
Bachata by @fanaticsnail
Mihawk
Sapsorrow by @fanaticsnail
has both SFW and NSFW so make sure to read the chapter warnings!
Creative Cures by @discordantwritings
NSFW
Shanks
SFW:
Remember Me by @fanaticsnail
Dancando Lambada by @fanaticsnail
NSFW:
Always return to you by @discordantwritings
Sanji
NSFW:
Citrus by @otkuhotgirl
Multiple characters
Hey Doc by @fanaticsnail
some NSFW themes depending on the drabble
so very very funny
The Kissing Booth by @fanaticsnail
Paulie, Luffy, Hongo, Smoker, Aokiji, Heat, Crocodile, Sanji, Shachi, Law, and Zoro (right now)
my favorite ones are: Luffy, Smoker, Heat, Shachi !
Competency, Stupidity, Duality by @fanaticsnail
kid, zoro, and killer
SFW
Post Injury by @standfucker
law, shanks, rosinate, blackbeard, mihawk
gore content warnings
Gremlin Reader by @standfucker
Straw Hats, Whitebeard Pirates, Heart Pirates, and Kid Pirates
literally the funniest fucking thing I've ever read
they hurt you while controlled by a devil fruit by @grandline-fics
zoro, law, shanks
angst, descriptions of injury, and hurt/comfort
Beauty scars by @cozage
law, kidd
borderline NSFW
Truth or Dare by @cozage
Ace, Shanks, Luffy, and Law
SFW + NSFW, the NSFW section is clearly marked by the author
Oblivious flirting by @cozage
Law, Luffy, Ace
SFW
A Plushie Substitute by @cozage
Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Ace, Law
SFW
Five things he says when he thinks you're asleep by @imasimpforshanks
Law, Ace, Shanks
SFW
the moment they knew you were the one by @imasimpforshanks
Luffy, Zoro, Ace, Sanji, Shanks, Law, Sabo
fluff
Falling in love with them by @imasimpforshanks
Ace, Law
SFW
OP to you being clueless to their flirting/feelings part 1 by @astelren
Ace, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro Sanji, Izou, Cavendish, Rayleigh, Law
fluff
there's a part 2!
Being scared to have sex with them by @strawhatsoraya
Zoro, Law, Kid, Ace
obviously NSFW
Calling them my love by @lehguru
Law, Sabo, Ace, Kid, Killer, Bartolomeo
SFW
Kid, Zoro, Law, & Sanji with a s/o afraid of having sex by @eustasskidagenda
NSFW
there are 2 other parts with different characters!
A celestial dragon wants their fem!s/o by @uramakimochi
Zoro, Sanji, Law
SFW
there's another part too!
Hand placement by @cloudzoro
Ace, Crocodile, Law, Mihawk, Nami, Reiju, Robin, Sanji, Tashigi, Zoro
NSFW
god the ones about the girls are SO GOOD
affectionate + strawhats by @lehguru
SFW
OP boys in a relationship by @moonydustx
SFW
growing old together by @usernameforaboredcat
Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Ace, Sabo, Law, Kid
SFW
sobbed
one piece boys rescuing you by @badgerbl00d
law, zoro
sfw
heartstopper by @sleepymarimo
luffy, sanji, zoro, law
sfw
party games they'd play as an excuse to kiss you by @imasimpforshanks
luffy, zoro, nami, ace, law, shanks
sfw
Op characters reacting to you kissing them and running away by @princeoftheeternalbog
luffy, zoro, sanji, nami, robin, usopp, ace, marco, izou, sabo
slightly suggestive, mdni
Number Games by @turtletaubwrites
multi-chapter story with Cross Guild x reader
very NSFW, read the tags very carefully
Random Flirting Headcanons by @feral-artistry
Shanks, Buggy, Sanji, Ace, Law, Zoro
SFW
Here's part 2 with more characters
Jealousy fueled kiss w/ “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” by @grandline-fics
Ace, zoro, law, kid, lucci
sfw
Thinkin about: the monster, trio, ace ‘n law! Vs breeding kink! by @bitchimasnake-sss
luffy, zoro, sanji, ace, law
nsfw
Habits of touch by @clare-875
Zoro, sanji, luffy
sfw
Butterflies -- how they realize they have feelings for you (touch edition) with Luffy, Zoro, and Law by @radishaur
luffy, zoro, law
sfw
multiple versions! this one is just my favorite hehe
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece fic recs#one piece imagines#one piece one shots#one piece killer#one piece luffy#one piece ace#one piece law#one piece zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#massacre soldier killer x reader#portgas d. ace x reader#monkey d luffy x reader#trafalgar d law x reader#one piece x you#mihawk x reader#dracule mihawk x reader#shanks x reader#akagami no shanks x reader#nami x reader#robin x reader#eustass kid x readaer#crocodile x reader#sabo x reader#sanji x reader#blackleg sanji x reader#buggy the clown x reader#one piece headcanons#eustass kid x reader
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what arcane characters would be like at christmas!
inspired by @cosmicporos whose work is here <3
i’m in the christmas spirit and wanted to do a sillier post on what some arcane characters are like at this time of the year! once christmas and exams are over, i’ll get back to working through requests ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Jinx:
jinx gifts you something homemade, maybe a scrapbook of all the things you did together throughout the year?
aw omg i bet she’s amazing at taking secret pics…there’s so many embarrassing pictures of you in there but you can’t even hate it when she doodles love hearts right next to them :’)
all the pictures inside would be meticulously dated with a corresponding memory to go underneath
she wants to show you how much she cares!
jinx would love anything you give her, but she would swoon if you got her materials to make more chomper bombs - she loves how accepting and enthusiastic you are of her hobbies
jinx’s favourite holiday activity is decorating!
she loves getting into a festive spirit where it’s seen as more acceptable to be goofy and childlike?
she’s very thrifty so i feel like most of the decor is stuff you guys make together in front of a warm fire while it snows outside hehe
makes cranberry and popcorn garlands which you guys end up eating by the end of the week
there’s just plain string all over the place 😭
obviously there will be christmas themed graffiti
instead of a star or angel on top of the tree, she makes miniature figurines of you two hugging to stick on top
she is incredibly down bad for you and loves the holidays because she gets to be extra sentimental
gets a stupidly skinny christmas tree that barely has enough branches to wrap decorations around but she wouldn’t have it any other way
jinx doesn’t want to take everything tooooo seriously
jinx’s favourite christmas song is i wish it could be christmas everyday
Vi:
vi gifts you your own leather jacket! it's second hand and a bit worn through but she tried her best
you always spoke about how much you loved her jacket and now you two can match
irons and pins on patches of your favourite bands all over the jacket
spends so much time into making sure it looks perfect for you
i can see you two wearing each other’s jackets a lot so you can smell like one another
best investment ever - now everyone knows you two are made for each other
she would love it if you gifted her boxing gloves in her signature colour!
vi’s favourite holiday activity is sledding!
she probably uses an old sled her and jinx made together when they were younger
it’s seen better days but she doesn’t want to give it up anytime soon
better wear a helmet in case the whole sled comes apart as you ride it 😭
she’s the kind of person to convince you to let her push the sled down a steep hill… she cheers as you scream in fear
when you asked her if it was safe she winked and told you to trust her 😐
big mistake but how can you say no to her???
you both land in a heap of snow at the bottom, laughing so hard you have to catch your breath as snowflakes melts into your hair
she rolls you around in the snow and kisses you for a loooooong time hehe
vi’s favourite christmas song is baby it’s cold outside
Ekko:
ekko gifts you a painting he made of you!
he’s very nervous when he does, watching for every little reaction on your face - he just wants to know that he did a good job and made you happy
how could you not like it? he captures your likeness so well it feels like looking in a very flattering mirror
you can tell how much love and thought he put into it
he would love it if you gifted him more face paint and hair dye - even better if you offer to do it for him!
ekko’s favourite holiday activity is playing in the snow!
snowball fights, building snowmen and igloos, making snow angels - all of it!
this guy LOCKS IN when it comes to snowball fights
honestly sometimes you want to say no bcs he gets a bit too committed and you feel like you’re getting hunted down 😭
but then he promises to make you hot chocolate when you get inside so it works out in the end
accidentally pelts you in the face with a solid snowball and his face drops
he runs over to where you got knocked over and is worriedly checking you all over to make sure you’re not hurt
that’s when you shove snow down his back and run away in a fit of giggles
he goes still before he starts to chase after you - you both launch snow at each other for house
yeah, you both get ill after that 😭
ekko’s favourite christmas song is santa clause is coming to town
Jayce:
jayce gifts you jewellery he forged himself :3
i can see him dragging you along to the workshop, making you watch him be all sweaty and hot for hours (you’re not complaining)
if you ask what exactly he’s making there he brushes it off as a custom piece of equipment needed for his experiments - little do you know it’s actually gifts for you
when he does gift it to you he has the most smug look in his face
who else is doing gifts like him?? exactly 🙂↕️
he would love it if you gave him new tools he can use when he’s doing his forging!
jayce’s favourite holiday activity is making gingerbread houses!
mainly sneakily nibbling away at little pieces of you (you notice)
you two end up ditching the house and smear icing all over each other
he licks the icing off your cheek
you tell him how gross he is but he’s not fooled when you’re blushing and giggling at his antics
after you two finish your “break”, you get to work on finally completing the gingerbread house
doesn’t let you leave the kitchen until you’re done - he made BLUEPRINTS for the house
it ends up being more like a mansion when you’re done
he’s cheesing so hard when it’s done and he makes you pose with the house
he posts it on his instagram story with some dumb caption (“look at my sweet treat and the gingerbread house we made 😜”) and you only find out when your friends send it to you
jayce’s favourite christmas song is all i want for christmas is you
Viktor:
viktor gifts you customised skincare he made just for you!
he is more physics-minded but after hearing you complain about how all the products you tried just weren’t doing it for you, he decides to step up
spends so much time consulting chemists at the academy for help creating the products
“subtly” asks you questions about your skin so as not to give himself away
“your skin looks quite dry today, would you agree?”
says this in front of a bunch of people - you hate this man so much 😭
you’re so happy when he gifts it to you, you’ve never had someone listen so intently to what you talk about
you definitely cry into his arms and he’s a bit stunned but eventually holds onto you - you stay like that for a while
he would love it if you gave him fancy coffee to help him stay up in the lab!
viktor’s favourite holiday activity is going to the christmas markets!
loves the smell of cinnamon and cocoa in the air, loves how the cold air nips at his nose
the icy ground is a bit of a nuisance for his cane but he knows he always has you to help out, even if he hates asking ^^
makes you two look at all the lights so you can rate them
goes to basically every dessert stand and scarfs down an insane amount of sweet things in record time
likes to buy the weirdest snow globes he can find
viktor’s favourite christmas song is winter wonderland
Caitlyn:
cait gifts you a first-edition copy of you’re favourite classical novel!
she had to pull a lot couple of strings to get it but she would do just about anything for you
even though you’d be happy with anything she gives you, she places a lot of expectations on herself
she stresses herself out over making sure you have the best christmas ever
she would love it if you gave her clothes that she would actually wear, things she’s told her she likes - not just what she’s expected to wear
cait’s favourite holiday activity is ice skating!
she’s honestly so good at ice skating you’re surprised it isn’t her job or something
takes you skating on the frozen lake at her estate
if you don’t know how to skate, she’s incredibly patient and teaches you the basics
she loves that you have to cling onto her so you don’t fall over
if you know how to skate, she bashfully asks if you want to learn couple’s ice skating choreography with her
has the time of her life doing lifts and jumps with you!
wishes she could stay outside skating with you
cait's favourite christmas song is underneath the tree
Mel:
mel gifts you a holiday at your dream destination!
she has lots of money at her disposal and gifts you things all the time, so she really has to go above and beyond for this one
you complain about barely getting to see her due to her work on the council so she manages to get a week away with you!
has a whole itinerary planned out so all you have to do is sit back and relax
makes up for all the time she spent away from you by making sure you're both attached at the hip lol
she would love it if you gifted her one of those jars full of little notes with things you love and admire about that person!
mel’s favourite holiday activity is playing games by the fireplace!
at first, she’s off-put by the whole idea - she’s not a child
but deep down i feel like she’s quite lonely and yearns to feel like she really belongs somewhere, she’s just scared to be emotionally vulnerable
so when you come along she reluctantly agrees and finds that she really loves doing this at a time that reminds her of her estranged family
loosens up around you and feels like she can really be herself
she’s also very competitive so it adds more drama to it all
you guys definitely argue when you play charades or uno 😭
she makes it up to you by letting you win the next game even if it’s incredibly obvious
makes silly bets when you play - “if i win the next round you have to tell me what you got be for christmas”
she’s such a cutie
mel’s favourite christmas song is santa baby
Ambessa:
ambessa gifts you a spa day
honestly a bit of a self-indulgent present since her mind isn’t completely innocent with this gift
a spa day is a spa day however
she doesn’t celebrate christmas - it’s a useless frivolity that wastes precious time that could be used to train her army
she knows how much you enjoy it though so she makes an exception for you
you can tell her heart’s not in it but it’s sweet that she tries for you
she would love it if you made her an intricate meal with all her favourite noxian foods!
ambessa’s favourite holiday activity is making christmas cards!
well, she’s not the one making them
she just watches you make them
but she thinks the look of concentration on your face is quite endearing so she stays around to watch you make them
she’s surprised by how much effort goes into making them from scratch and she walks away with a new appreciation for your hobby
you could beg her to join but she’s just not gonna do it 😭
she likes you, but not that much
ambessa’s favourite christmas song is none of them unfortunately <\3 (she has a soft spot for feliz navidad)
Heimerdinger:
heimerdinger gifts you a jailbroken gaming console 😭
he spent precious time on that thing
doesn’t agree with doing things like that usually but it’s christmas
everyone deserves a treat every now and then!
hopes you’ll focus on your work at the academy more often if you have this
backfires in his face because you’re constantly on it now, oh well
at least you liked the present
he would love it if you you gifted him a song you wrote!
heimerdinger’s favourite holiday activity is secret santa!
he is SO bad at keeping his a secret 😭
he goes around the academy asking people about your hobbies, likes and dislikes
you know he has you by the end of the day lmao
he’s so cute you can’t even be mad
heimerdinger’s favourite christmas song is wonderful christmastime
AU!Claggor:
claggor gifts you one of his hybrid plants!
this is a huge honour since they’re basically his children
the one he gifts you was a seedling from the very first plant that managed to survive off the fissure gases
gives you a whole speech on how to properly care for it (tells you the secret is to whisper positive affirmations to it every morning)
he’s nervous gifting it you since it means so much to him, but he knows he can trust you to look after it
it’s so sweet since he’s sharing such an important part of his life with you!
he would love it if you gave him cuttings from a rare plant you may or may not have taken from some rich piltie
claggor’s favourite holiday activity is baking!
he has his own apron and everything
makes cookies and yule logs topped with marshmallows - he goes above and beyond
makes enough to give out to family and friends
he loves seeing people enjoy his labor of love, it makes him all fuzzy inside
claggors’s favourite christmas song is it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas
AU!Mylo:
mylo gifts you wool gloves!
you always complain about having cold hands so whenever you two are outside, your hands are always in your pockets
but he wants to hold your hand :(
so gloves it is!
two birds with one stone
he would love it if your gift was literally just a kiss under the mistletoe, he doesn’t ask for much!
mylo’s favourite holiday activity is scavenger hunts!
he’s another one who thinks certain activities are childish, but once he gets in the zone istg he’s shoving actual kids out of the way 😭
like i genuinely believe you would have to restrain him because he’s going feral over this
he needs to calm down tbh
probably loses to a five year old and sulks for the rest of the rest of the day
mylo’s favourite christmas song is a nonsense christmas
Silco:
silco gifts you expensive clothes and perfume/cologne
he’s got MONEY and i feel like he wants to make up for the fact that he’s never had much growing up, so he spoils you in all the ways you deserve
he rolls his eyes if you tell him you don’t want anything for christmas
as if he would let you celebrate the day empty handed
when you asked him for a big fir tree you got it, along with mountains of presents stacked underneath
way too many for one person
he watches you intently with a smirk on his face, loving the way your eyes light up with each present you unwrap
he likes having the satisfaction that only he can treat you like this
he would love it if you offered to inject his eye as a gift - he can’t really reject this, can he?
if you offered under any other circumstances, he would probably say no
silco’s favourite holiday activity is dressing up as santa!
ok hear me out
one day when jinx was younger she asked if she would see santa that year
and he just…dressed up as him?? and gave her presents??? and now it’s a tradition that’s stuck 😭
keep in mind jinx didn’t believe in santa at this point but he had no idea about this so he didn’t want her to be disappointed
his santa impression is just “ho, ho, ho” 😐 he’s so deadpan it’s hilarious
he has this tacky stiff beard and pillows stuffed under his costume
so when you find out about it, you beg to see it with your own eyes
it’s sooooo embarrassing for him but he loves making his favourite people happy no matter the cost
doesn’t let anyone else but you two and sevika see him like that
silco’s favourite christmas song is…the christmas song lol
Sevika:
sevika gifts you a custom-made gun, “to Y/N, from sev” inscribed on the handle
she’s secretly whipped for you but can’t let anyone else know, how else is she meant to keep up her tough facade?
teaches you how to use the gun - she doesn’t want you to be defenceless in the lanes, especially since you’re connected to someone like her
her worst fear is someone hurting you to get to her
she would love it if you got her a backup arm, god knows hers is always getting ruined considering all the fights she gets into
sevika’s favourite holiday activity is watching christmas movies!
she rarely gets a moment to relax so when the holidays come around, she loves getting to chill with you on the couch
you guys watch those awful hallmark movies and you spend the entire time complaining the the tv about how unrealistic and dumb the characters are
she throws popcorn at the tv whenever her least favourite character shows up
oooh i can picture you two sipping on mulled wine, sevika’s arm wrapped around your shoulders
you’re basically snuggled into her lap and she lives for it
would die if anyone saw her like that though
makes it a yearly tradition to show you the picture she secretly took of silco dressed up as santa
she basically glows inside when she hears your laughter ring out like bells
sevika’s favourite christmas song is please come home for christmas
Vander:
vander gifts you free hug vouchers lmao
i see him as someone who values sentimental value over material possessions, so he came up with this genius idea >:)
you’re having a bad day? redeem a free bear hug!
you’re feeling sappy? redeem a free bear hug!
you just want a hug? you don’t even need to ask!
he was scared you would think he was just being lazy with this present but he’s elated when he sees you openly tearing up at it
you both laugh at the christmas table over his present
he would love it if you gave the kids a gift, it shows how much you care!
vander’s favourite holiday activity is carol singing
except drunk (it’s for charity!)
drunk carol singing is good for the soul, or so he says
i can imagine him and silco when they were younger wandering the streets, cheeks red with sappy grins straining their faces, belting out songs at the top of their lungs
multiple people told them to shut up
they just sang louder
end up at the last drop where they have a karaoke session
when he does get tips for his carolina, he uses it to help the most vulnerable people in zaun
helping his people is his main priority
vander’s favourite christmas song is let it snow
masterlist
#arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane headcanon#jinx x reader#vi x reader#ekko x reader#ekko arcane#jayce x reader#arcane jayce#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#caitlyn x reader#arcane caitlyn#mel x reader#mel arcane#ambessa x reader#ambessa arcane#heimerdinger x reader#heimerdinger#claggor x reader#arcane claggor#mylo x reader#arcane mylo#silco x reader#sevika x reader#vander x reader
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Hellbound Angel
Male Yandere Demon x Male Angel Reader (CW: Noncon, drugged reader, drugged sex, drug-like cum, drug-like saliva, big ol' horse cock, literally equine dick, belly bulge, armpit kink, scent kink, musk, underwear sniffing, kidnapping, general yandere behavior, temporarily mind-broken reader, religious themes, dehydration, forced feminization, reader has minor injuries not inflicted by yandere) Word Count: 2.2k
In the never-ending war against the legions of Hell, the middle ground where most of the fighting was done was on Earth. However, the heavenly forces sometimes deemed an incursion into Hell necessary.
You had been sent on a mission to scout ahead and take note of the coming forces.
Angels were stronger than most demons. Even so, almost your entire squad had been wiped out in a bloody ambush. The other survivors had used the one holy recall scroll to teleport themselves back to heaven.
Each squad sent into Hell is given one and only one. They probably thought you were dead already when they left still with demons in pursuit. They had to act quickly. You didn't blame them. Without it, you were trapped here. Unless you could find a demon's gate that could take you to Earth. That's how the demons made it out. But there would certainly be legions of the enemy at such places.
You had managed to escape the slaughter of your scouting party, but you were injured. Your wings had been hurt as had your leg. Relatively minor injuries, but in a hostile land, they certainly made things more difficult.
To be honest, you weren't exactly the strongest angel on a good day. This was not a good day.
You limped along the rocky landscape, using your holy staff as a walking stick. You stayed low to remain unseen by any wandering beasts or demons as you made your way out of the fiery wastelands and into the white sand desert. Hell wasn't all fire and brimstone. It was the most popular depiction of Hell's most dramatic landscape, but there were other biomes, too. Now you were getting into one of the many deserts Hell had to offer.
It was cooler than the burning wastes, but by no means was it comfortable. Water and food were scarce, the white sands were nearly blinding, and the swirling black sky was a constant ominous reminder that you were not safe.
You could go a long time without food and water. You wouldn't die without them, but after a while, you would wither up and be unable to move. You'd go into a kind of stasis. And then you'd be defenseless.
For days, you wandered. At least... you thought it was days. Despite the perpetually black sky the sun never set. Your lips were chapped, your wounds aching, hope dying in your heart. You had to find an oasis to rest at. Build up your strength. From the limited maps you had seen of this region of Hell there should be one at the heart of this desert, but with your wings and legs messed up it would still take many days still to reach it.
There were several more days of endless marching, hobbling on your injured leg that was getting harder and harder to walk on before you finally saw the oasis in the distance. You tried your best to approach stealthily, going behind dunes and sand drifts whenever possible, and wrapping your white wings around you to provide some measure of camouflage with the white sands. As you got near, it disappeared in a puff of smoke. And out of the smoke stood a demon. It was a trap.
Dark brownish red skin, sharp horns, a tail flicking back and forth, and he stood at least a foot taller than you. He was very muscular, his sweat coated abs glistened in the sunlight. He wore nothing. His long horse-like cock and big nuts swinging freely below a thick patch of black pubic hair.
You caught yourself accidentally staring and looked away quickly before readying your divine staff for a fight. Which was really hard, since you could barely stand without it.
The demon winked and chuckled.
"Do you like it~ There's no harm in just looking, you know?"
He closed the distance between the two of you in a flash and knocked the staff away in one fluid motion.
"As a matter of fact, you can do a lot more than look, little bird. My cum would make you feel so much better~ That oasis you're looking for is still miles away."
"Uh, thanks for the kind offer, but I think I will pass. I'll just be on my way and out of your hair."
You stepped back slowly, hoping to make it to your staff so you could maybe limp away and give him a good smack if he followed. But he wasn't giving you the chance.
"Oh, but you're dehydrated!"
He took a few steps forward until there were mere inches between you. He put a hand on your cheek and thumbed at your chapped lips gently.
"Your lips are all dry. Let me help~"
Before you could decline, he held your head in place and leaned down. He traced and prodded your sore lips with his long slick tongue.
You tried to push him away but couldn't do much in your current condition. And the saliva was having some kind of effect on you.
He slipped his tongue past your lips and kissed you greedily.
Your head grew fuzzy and your legs weak. His spit was some type of drug. It felt... nice...
You resisted it as long as you could, even resorting to biting his tongue, but he ignored it and continued. Moments later, you slumped against him, your head on his muscular chest. The only thought in your head as you passed out was how nice this man in front of you smelled.
He picked you up gently and carried you bridal style. It was fitting since you were certainly his little bride now, as far as he was concerned. He placed a chaste kiss on the top of your head and then started walking towards the underground dwelling he called home.
When you woke up, your wounds had been healed, and you felt a lot better. Though you were still dizzy. There was an intoxicating smell all around you and you didn't recognize your surroundings.
Your first instinct was to jump up and flee, but you were immediately pulled back down and placed in the lap of your demonic captor. His monstrous cock poking out between your thighs.
You looked down and realized you were naked, your soft cock and balls laying on his unnaturally warm prick.
"Let me go!" You elbowed him as hard as you could but he must have made sure you stayed drugged because you couldn't muster up any strength to put into your struggle.
"Let you go? After all the trouble I have gone through to romance you?"
"Romance!? You kidnapped me and I don't even know who the fuck you are, creep!!"
You struggled with renewed anger, smacking your head backwards, elbowing, kicking, and scratching. All amounting to you gasping for breath, tired, while he chuckled at the attempt.
"You're in Hell! I could have raped you and left you in the sand to be killed by any passing monster and that still would have been considered romance."
He placed his large hands on your legs with his thumbs drawing lazy circles on your thighs.
"I saved you from the desert, treated your wounds, let you rest for days, fed you, gave you water, and bathed you. That is damn romantic!"
He started assaulting your neck with little licks and kisses, enjoying how you squirmed in protest while sitting on his equine cock.
"As for the name that you'll be moaning when I bury myself in you, it's Tevrik."
"My friends will come back for me. You should save yourself the trouble and let me go now!"
This was a bluff, of course. They almost certainly thought you were dead. You didn't know if your deception would work, but you didn't expect him to respond with a cackle.
"No, they won't! Rathiel won't let em!"
A shudder went through you at the mention of your boss who had ordered the mission into Hell.
"He's one of Hell's best agents. Gives us lots of intel."
You were dumbfounded and fell silent a moment before regaining your composure and replying angrily.
"Lies from a worthless demon!"
"I'd never lie to you, sweetie~"
He trailed his hands up and down your thighs as he continued.
"How else did we set up that ambush? Rathiel sent you to us. We needed more angel blood. But not yours."
Your blood ran cold as he began grinding into you.
"I picked you out from a bunch of employee profiles just to be my little princess. I'm half angel myself and wanted an angel bride~ We'll rule this region of Hell together!"
He repositioned you on his lap to face towards him as his flared cock grew fully erect.
"You weren't supposed to be hurt in the battle. I'm so sorry about that. I killed the demons who did it."
You didn't even struggle when he positioned you above his dick, hot precum smearing your hole as his cock pressed against it. The betrayal drained the fight from you.
"After the battle, I just followed you for a bit, so you'd be tired. And now here you are. With me."
The precum and smell of his arousal were making you dizzier. The words he spoke brought tears from your eyes.
"Awe, don't cry. After we have some alone time to adjust, I'll take you to the palace~ You'll be royalty!"
You winced as his cock entered you, expecting pain. Surprisingly, there was none. Instead it was like every cell in your body was filled with pleasure.
This couldn't be right. You had to escape. Sex with a demon was a very taboo thing.
You started struggling but Tevrik held you still.
"Shhh, I know you're upset. But just let it happen, okay? I'll make you feel so good."
As his precum continued to dribble out of his dick and into you and as the betrayal by your trusted higher up sank in you once more lost the will to fight.
Why were you fighting anyway? This cock felt so nice. And he was so kind and romantic to go through all this trouble to get you away from your evil boss right?
You relaxed and lay against his chest as he pumped into you slowly. You looked up at him and realized he had your underwear in his hand and was holding it up to his nose sniffing the crotch.
"You smell so good, girly. So good. You feel good too."
"You smell nice too!" Then your brain caught up with the rest of what he had said.
"A-and I'm not a g-girl." Too focused on your pleasure to really care.
"Nah, you're too pretty to be a man. Too weak too. Plus you have this tight little cunt hugging my dick. You're definitely a girly~"
"O-okay."
You blushed because he called you pretty. You supposed he made a lot of sense. You were clearly a girl. You wondered why you didn't know that sooner. It felt right.
He chuckled warmly as you drooled on his chest and made cute little gasps and moans. He couldn't wait until you were moaning his name.
Tevrik didn't pound you, he didn't want to hurt his sweet baby bird. Instead he just rocked his hips into you and enjoyed the effect it had on you.
After you started making those delicious noises his demonic precum began to make you super cuddly. He continued to breed your tight hole while you started nuzzling him and leaving gentle kisses on his chest. He began grinding into you a bit faster and more forcefully, his cock clearly outlined through your belly as it nestled into you as deeply as he could get it.
"Fuck babe, I'm about to bust."
But you came before he did it. Your cock spilling silvery angelic seed on his belly as you called his name and clung to him tightly. The combined sight of you cumming while impaled by his dick while at the same time calling his name just like you promised he would sent Tevrik over the edge. His large balls filled your tummy with hot demon cum. It made you feel warm and fluttery and loved. Like you could feel his emotions through his seed.
You were so tired from all the emotion and sex that you passed out on top of him, nuzzling your nose into the comforting scent of his armpit as you clung to him.
Tevrik smiled. You were just so precious. Sadly, he knew you'd regress back into struggling against him. But that was okay. He would keep reminding you how the angels threw you away and keep breeding you full of his drug-like semen. Soon you'd crave it. He'd bed you constantly until you needed it. And then breed you as much as you wanted him to after that.
Yeah, it would take a while. But he had all the time in the universe.
Tevrik sighed with content and closed his eyes, taking your underwear and putting it back up to his nose while he relaxed with his cock still deep inside you.
You may have been in Hell, but Tevrik was in Heaven.
#yandere teratophilia#yandere terato#yandere x reader#monster boyfriend#yandere monster#yandere#yandere demon#feminized male reader#yandere boyfriend#x male reader#angel reader#male yandere x male reader#my ocs#My OC Tevrik
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Ur fav guy fucking his mom pls pls
౨ৎ ⋆ take it, mommy ! ꨄ shidou ryusei ꒰ DARK CONTENT ꒱
sypnosis: grimy shidou fuckin' his mommy :(
content warnings 𝜚 𓈒 1.4k words ꒱ ince$t, yandere themes, pwop, tons of kissing, groping, no prep, creampie, whiny needy ryu, name usage including . . mommy, mama
“ryusei ! get off me!”
“no.. i love you, love y’so much mommy. missed you soo much.” he purrs against your warm skin. his heavy body lays atop of you, keeping you still below him as he grabs at your face and pressing sloppy kisses anywhere he deems possible; like a bunny in heat.
“n-not now, ryusei, mommy’s got things to do, okay?”
“y’really can’t spend some quality time with your son?” he pouts, a sight you’re never used to seeing. it makes your heart ache, and you sigh.
“b-but, i have to cook—“
“i can help you with that later, ‘kay? jus’ miss you mama, don’t leave me.”
you shrivel under his touch, finding it hard to respond with anything other than your usual ‘yes, of course i won’t .’ he attempts to read into your expression, looking for any sign of reassurance. he sighs with relief when you smile, burying himself in the crook of your collarbone when you run a hand through the soft of his fluffy hair. because he knows, knows that you’ve fallen into his trap once again.
. . ♡
ryusei only loves you. maybe it’s the fact that you’re the only one out of thousands of individuals that he’s ever met, that has shown him unconditional love. spending the last 20 years of your life grooming him, nurturing him, regardless of anything that has happened within the span of his fucked up life, he’s never found another like his own mother.
he can’t help but love you more than a son should love his mother, clinging onto you at any moment given possible when he isn’t out solely to play soccer for his profession.
the brat almost always gets into dangerous situations after a bad game, rushing home to find comfort in his mothers presence, as well as in her sloppy cunt. you attempt to scold him, but everything simply goes in one ear and out the next when he’s desperate for some lovin’ from his mother.
“i know.. i know already, okay? jus’ missed you so much. couldn’t wait to come home..” he mumbles, pressing his hot lips against yours. it’s overwhelming, his soft hands roaming your body and groping the flesh of your tits from under your shirt, the soft fat of them falling in between his fingers. “really just missed you s’much mama. forgive me, ‘kay?”
how heartless would you be if you didn’t ?
♡ . .
“w’na make you feel good. can i , mommy ? please ? w’na have you so bad.” he whines, fingers tugging at your shirt, quickly pulling them above your tits causing you to squeal. he wastes no time listening to your complaints, whining about how he’s too crude, and how he needs to be patient, instead he quickly latches onto your swollen bud. his strained cock unwittingly humps into the sheets, the wet sticky patch that leaks from his cock head dirtying his boxers.
ones you’d have to wash later, and look back on the ‘guilt‘ of your two’s doings.
he’s messy, and his spit coats not only your puffy areola but the fat of your tit. he gropes at your tit simultaneously, causing you to arch your back away from the rough sensation.
“r-ryusei hnn— too rough.”
“sorryyy. . didn’t mean t’mommy.” he mumbles, catching your lips in a heated kiss.
meanwhile, his hand travels below, pulling himself out of the confinement of his boxers. he sighs into your mouth out of relief, the warmth of his shaft unintentionally rubbing against your naked thigh. it makes you whine, squeezing your eyes tight.
“ryusei..” you mumble into the kiss , catching his attention. “you’re such a good boy f’mommy baby.” you coo with a light smile. his gaze softens, an ill-intentioned grin that spreads across his face. he yearns for your free hand, intertwining his bigger fingers with yours.
“can i fuck you now ? please, can’t wait anymore. it hurts , mommy.” he whines, leading your gaze down below where he fervidly attempts to rub out the ache in his cock. it’s a sight you’ve seen many times before, but one that you’re never able to get used to.
he’s heavy, and thick, the rotund tip leaking of creamy pre. his balls swell with need, desperate for any sort of release. he’s thickest around the middle, veins bulging across the entirety of his fat shaft. you find yourself salivating at the sight, quickly tidying your appearance before he has time to make fun of your expression.
“such a pretty sight, baby.” you coo, hoisting yourself onto your forearms to press a soft kiss against his cheek.
“t-thank you, mommy.” he mumbles, a light blush of pink painting over his cheeks. he’s unable to look into you, embarrassed, but doesn’t waste time to press a kiss on the tip of your nose to show his appreciation.
he rubs the swollen head against the pudgy slit of your cunt waiting for approval, shivering when he feels his pre mix into the slick of your arousal. his grip on your hand grows tighter, attempting to press further into your silky cunt.
“mommy, please—“
“mhm, be good for mommy, okay? go ahead, p-put it in, ryusei.”
you find yourself barely able to breathe throughout the the desperation, watching as his pupils grow into large black voids, shaped into hearts.
he wastes no time, quickly guiding his cock into the depths of your cunt. the arousal caused upon his teasing causes a slip, his creamy head accidently nudging over your puffy clit, making you jolt against him. he mumbles out insincere apologies, head empty other than the thought of getting in his mother’s cunt.
he nearly cums when he successfully fucks into you, your tight walls pulsating and gripping around him like no other. you squeal at the stretch, free hand coming up to push at his chest in an attempt to slow his movements.
“wait— ryu !”
“mommy,” he whines, on the brink of tears. if his eyes hadn’t been rolled back into his fucking skull, you’d very obviously see tears beading in the socket of his rosy irises.
“r-ryu,” you cry. “feels s’ good. y-you’re making mommy feel so good..”
his chest swells with pride, yearning to hear more of your honey-like praises.
he humps into you lazily, his breaths heavy and to be heard from rooms away. minimal sweat beads across the crown of his forehead, his gaze pacing back and forth from your frenzied state to down below where you two connect.
your cunt accommodates his girth perfectly, fat folds stretching to painful limits just enough to fit his cock. every thrust leaves a coat of pearlescent cream around him forming a ring, slow dribbles of cum spilling down and coating the tight rim below.
“l-love you, only you, love your pussy s’much, i— thankyouthankyouthank—“ his rambles are stopped by a kiss, but to no avail as he continues chanting against your lips. his hands rub up on every inch of your skin desperately, roughly fondling your messy tits, eager to feel more.
“wan’ you to cum, please, cum ‘round me mama. please—“ he mumbles meekly into your neck, bodies held together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
his thrusts become heavy and sloppy, leaving no room for you to squirm away as he holds tight. “hnn— r-ryu, it hurts— think ‘m g-gonna cum,” you cry, shimmery tears dragging along your dewy cheek. red painful streaks paint the back of the football player, but he pays no mind.
“cum, mommy, cum on it.” he moans breathlessly.
you’d never miss a chance to. your cunt convulses around him violently, pushing him over the edge at the given moment. creamy cum coats the insides, painting your walls white as his fat load seems to be never ending, filling your little cunt to the brim.
“ryusei, t-too much! wait !”
“take i-it, pleasee hnn—, just be still and take it f’me—“
he holds you tight, hindering your attempt to scramble away from the feeling, being sure you feel every inch, every drop of his heavy load.
he withdraws his limp cock from you unwillingly, whining at the sensitivity when your cunt clenches around his swelled tip.
he light smile spreads across his lips as he watches his load leak out of you involuntarily, painting the sheets white. he does nothing to prevent the mess, simply watching from afar dreaming of doing it again.
“love you, mommy.” he speaks quietly, gently grabbing your face on both sides to pucker your swollen lips before pressing a heavy kiss. he adores your fucked out expression, barely awoke but still conscious enough to shoot him a smile, and a honeyed, “i love you too, ryusei. ♡”
“goodnight, mommy. sleep tight. ♡”
#blue lock smut#bluelock smut#shidou ryusei:3333#shidou ryuusei smut#shidou ryusei smut#shidou ryuusei#shidou ryuusei x reader#bllk shidou#shidou smut#blue lock shidou#shidou x reader#shidou ryusei#ryusei shidou#tw: dark content#tw: incest#tw.incest#bllk smut#bllk x you#bllk x reader#bllk x y/n#fanfiction♪♬♫
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Who's Needy Now?
♡Just a quick Minho drabble.♡ (Read the sequel here)
Pairs: Lee Minho (Lee Know) / fem!reader
Rating: Explicit
Theme: Suggestive, 18+ NO MINORS.
Warnings: sexual content (honestly I don't know!!)
Word count: 0.6 k
“Hey, what are you doing?” he says mindlessly as he’s scrolling down his phone and your head that was resting on his thigh turns the other side to plant a kiss on his belly over the fabric of his shirt.
“Kissing my boyfriend?”
“You’re tickling me, stop”
You mock him and keep kissing him. He huffs out an annoyed breath but doesn’t move neither stop you. To annoy him even more, you pull up the hem of his shirt so you can directly kiss his skin. He keeps ignoring you, he probably likes it but he can’t admit it now that he complained. You pull his waistband down a little to tease a more sensitive area with wet kisses. He shifts a bit in his seat, but is still ignoring you. You won’t stop without breaking him first. You move up a little, so now you’re face to face with his crotch, he steals a glance at you to try and read your intentions but he quickly averts his gaze back to the phone screen when you catch him looking down.
Oh the game is on! With an impish smirk on your lips, you kiss his bulge ever so gently your lips hardly even touch the fabric of his pants. You see his nostrils flare. You give him another kiss, this time with your mouth lingering on his clothed member. Then you take a whiff and let out a sigh. He might be ignoring you but his body could never. Another kiss and you feel his member hardening. You stick your tongue out and lick it over the fabrics and it twitches against your flattened tongue. How cute!
He's probably thinking you’ll give him a good time anyways even if he acts indifferent, he knows your appetite for him. It’s not like he isn’t interested, he just likes to put up a little fight so he has an excuse to later punish you the way you like it. So you decide to give him a good excuse this time. You tug on his waistband and he helps you pull his pants and boxers down to his midthighs.
“You’re such a needy cock slut, you just have to have it, huh?”
You don’t say anything, just look at him through your lashes and give him a smile. You don’t need words to make him regret his behavior. You kiss his thighs and every other patch of exposed skin but his aching cock. Now it’s your turn to ignore him. He’s fully hard now and precum starts to bead at the tip. You give it a lick and his head falls back. As much as you want to devour him, you need to teach him a lesson.
“What time is it?” you ask abruptly.
“Cock sucking time!”
“No, seriously.”
He groans and flips his phone to tell you the time.
“Oh shoot! I’m supposed to meet my friend for coffee in half an hour!”
You get up and walk to the bedroom to change. He’s confused and thinks you’re joking but when minutes later you emerge from the bedroom with an outdoor outfit he realizes what’s happening.
“Are you seriously gonna leave me like this?” he says in disbelief, he seems really upset!
“Sorry baby, now you can get back to your phone without my intrusion.” You wink and leave out the door. You know when you’re back you’ll have a beast to tame and nothing will do it but your sweet sweet pussy.
#skz#lee know#lee know smut#skz smut#skz drabbles#skz imagines#stray kids#stray kids fanfic#stray kids drabbles#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#kpop#lee know x reader#lee minho smut#lee know imagines#lee know fanfic#lee know drabble#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#oneshot#short fanfic#lee know drabbles
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : UNTIL THE END : :;
╰┈➤ ❝ [PAIRING] ❞ Logan Howlett x Old!F!Reader
・❥・GENRE: Angst. Straight up angst
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆FANDOM: X-Men
ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: Major Character Death, Grief and Loss, Emotional Distress, Themes of Loneliness, Angst
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥SUMMARY: One thing about not growing old, is seeing your loves ones die. Or rather, you pass away in Logan's arms from old age, despite his desperate pleas for you to stay. As you slip away peacefully, Logan is left devastated, forced to endure the pain of immortality without you by his side.
THE AIR WAS THICK WITH THE SCENT OF PINE, the distant howling wind gently brushing through the broken windows of the cabin. It was a small place, hidden deep in the wilderness, away from the chaos of the world. For years, it had been a sanctuary, a place for quiet moments, and the life you had built alongside Logan. But time had a way of catching up, even in the deepest woods, and now... you could feel it slipping away.
You lay in bed, wrapped in an old quilt, the weight of your own frailty pressing against your chest. Each breath was a struggle, shallow and painful. The once strong hands that used to wield weapons and patch up Logan after every brutal fight now trembled with age. You had always been his anchor, the one person who could calm the storm that raged inside him. But now, it felt as though the storm was about to outlast you.
He sat beside you, his rugged face etched with lines of grief that mirrored his age. His rough, calloused hand gently held yours, the warmth of his skin grounding you in these last moments. His eyes, those fierce, stormy eyes that had seen centuries of bloodshed and sorrow, softened as they locked onto yours.
“I don’t want you to go,” Logan’s voice broke, raw and uneven. His other hand, trembling despite his strength, brushed a strand of your gray hair away from your face.
You gave him a weak smile, a small attempt at comforting him, even as your body betrayed you. “Logan… I’ve lived a long life. Longer than I ever imagined.” Your voice was raspy, the effort to speak draining the little energy you had left. “You’ve kept me safe, kept me loved. That’s more than I could have asked for.”
His grip tightened around your hand as though he could hold you here through sheer willpower alone. But he knew better. The world had taken too much from him already. Every friend, every lover, every semblance of family—gone. You had been the last piece of goodness he’d managed to hold onto in a life soaked with violence. You were the one who made him feel human again. And now… even you were slipping through his fingers.
“Please,” Logan’s voice cracked, breaking through the tough exterior he always tried to hold. His heart was in his throat. “Don’t leave me. I can’t—I can’t lose you too.”
Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment, the weariness pulling you under. The darkness was so tempting, so peaceful, but you forced yourself to stay with him a little longer. Just a little longer.
“Logan…” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, “You were always so strong… so stubborn. You’ll… you’ll be okay without me.”
He shook his head violently, anger and sorrow mixing in his chest, making it hard to breathe. “I won’t,” he growled. “You don’t get it. You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had.” His voice grew softer, broken. “Don’t leave me here alone.”
Your heart ached, not from the physical pain, but from the sorrow in his voice. You wanted to stay, wanted to tell him everything would be okay. But you both knew better. There was no stopping this. Death was as relentless as time.
“I’m tired, Logan,” you admitted, your voice barely more than a sigh now. Your hand slipped from his, and he immediately caught it again, holding onto it as though it were his lifeline. “I’ll always be with you… right here.” You reached up slowly, painfully, placing your hand over his chest, feeling the solid, familiar beat of his heart beneath your palm.
Logan lowered his head, his forehead resting against yours as he clutched your hand to his chest. His breath was hot against your skin, ragged and filled with grief.
“I don’t… I don’t know how to do this without you,” he whispered, his words filled with the weight of centuries of loneliness. He’d been alone before—he knew that life all too well. But the thought of returning to that now, after knowing the warmth of you, felt unbearable.
“I know you do,” you murmured, your voice fading as you blinked up at him, your vision swimming. “You’ve… always been stronger than you know.” You offered him a small smile, though it was weak, more of a ghost of the expression that used to light up his world. “I’ll be waiting… somewhere… someday.”
His breath hitched, and he held you tighter, his hand cupping your face, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped your tired eyes. “You’ll wait for me?” His voice was hoarse, desperate.
You nodded, your eyes drifting shut. “Always…” you whispered. “I’ll be… right… here…”
Your breath stilled. The weight of your hand went limp in his, and your chest no longer rose or fell.
“No,” Logan choked, his voice shattering in the silence of the room. “No, no, no… please…”
He pulled you close, burying his face in your hair, trying to will you back to life, trying to make time stop. His breath came in ragged, broken sobs as he held you to his chest, the weight of his immortality pressing down on him like a curse.
“I can’t do this without you,” he whispered into the quiet, his voice shaking, his chest hollow and aching. “Come back… please… come back…”
But the only response was the cold silence of the room, the echo of his words fading into the emptiness.
And there, in that small cabin in the woods, Logan held you, the woman he loved more than anything, his heart breaking as the storm inside him raged on, relentless and unforgiving.
He was alone. Again.
And this time, the pain felt like it would never end.
🏷️: @twinky-wink @fidgetingbee @astarions-girl-dinner @layladestiny8 @birdy-bat-writes @h0n3y-l3m0n05
If you want to be added to the tag list, let me know! 🫶
Also who needs therapy after reading this? Because i DEFINITELY need it after writing this
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman#old man logan#old man logan x reader#logan howlett imagine
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Steve and Eddie have to learn to give and take a lot in their relationship. They are two very different people from two very different backgrounds and that means they have different needs and ways of navigating life and it takes a lot of listening and compromising to fit their lives together. Those differences become especially pronounced around any major holiday.
Steve is a bonafide loverboy and while Eddie loves Steve to the point of becoming a feral raccoon about it, he's never been one for Valentine's Day. It's not even that he has any particular baggage attached to it. It's just that the popular crowd that loved to rub him into the dirt was always so gung-ho about it growing up so it's become second nature to tear it down for its capitalistic nature, forced affection, and disgusting color palette. When Steve wants to take him out for their first Valentine's Day, Eddie completely shuts him down without a second thought.
They end up spending the entire day alone and they're both miserable about it. Eddie calls at midnight and they talk on the phone for almost an hour about what happened. In the end, Eddie relents because he knows how much it would mean to Steve to have a day to celebrate their love besides their anniversary. The compromise is that there won't be any cheesy gifts that will end up in the landfill or themed gifts that have no purpose on any other day of the year. Instead, Eddie makes brownies (of the non-pot variety) and Steve makes dinner and they make a blanket fort at home and watch movies. They end up celebrating on February 15th every year and vehemently refuse to call any other day Valentine's Day
With Christmas, it's Steve who pushed too hard. He has a very picturesque image of Christmas in his mind that includes piles of presents, loads of decorations, and wholesome family time built up from too many holiday movies and too many lonely Christmases. The Munsons on the other hand are generationally poor and usually don't do anything for Christmas besides cooking up the ham the plant gives Wayne every year. Eddie especially hates how many people feel pressured to break their backs working overtime around this time of year so they can get their kid or spouse or whatever the newest this or that. Wayne did that Eddie's first year living with him, trying to build good memories with his nephew, but Eddie hated seeing his uncle hurt for him and spent Christmas day crying out of guilt.
He tries to explain this all to Steve who seems, at first, to understand but then he shows up to the Munson trailer Christmas day laden with wrapped gifts and decorations. He sets it all up quietly while the Munson men sleep and Eddie wakes up to find his living room covered in Christmas cheer. He knows Steve means well, but to Eddie it just feels like Steve is treating them like a charity case. That they just need someone to spend a bunch of cash on stuff and they will magically understand the magic of Christmas. He chews Steve out and goes back to his room after demanding Steve take everything down.
Steve comes back later that day with his tail between his legs apologizing for not listening to Eddie. Steve explains that he's always wanted a family Christmas where they spend the whole day together exchanging thoughtful gifts and eating way too much fudge and got carried away and tried to force it. When Eddie talks about how many people slave away to try and make Christmas happen when they're on his side of the poverty line, Steve takes that to heart. He may not get it personally, but he understands how Christmas can be a source of stress. The next year, Steve asks if Eddie would like to do a low-budget Christmas exchange with him (Wayne included). They make each other handmade gifts and aren't allowed to spend more than $10 for materials. They eat ham and mashed potatoes and exchange handmade scarves and patches and mugs. Even when inflation goes up they both refuse to raise the money threshold, both of them taking it as a challenge.
#Fun fact about me#The Valentine's Day Steddie fic is one of my faves#I read so many of them#steddie#eddie munson#stranger things#steve harrington#dreamer speaks#blurb#This isn't much of anything#I was just thinking about it#and needed to get it out
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Part 12: Fleeting Moments Of Forever
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 13 - Part 14
I let my guard down and you pulled the rug (I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved)
(In which a depressed by recent events author spreads her depression)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff if you squint really hard, Hurt with a little bit of comfort if you squint really hard again (basically just squint you guys!)
Words: 12.3K
TW: Swearing (as per usual), a man (ew), brief reference to parental abandonment
A/N: Good morning/night my lovelies <3 Not quite sure what to say when it's one in the morning and I'm slightly delirious but I'm only a couple of hours late with this. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I'm sure I will once again be spammed with asks calling me evil, but remember lovelies, it's for the plot! I will be editing this chapter at some point tomorrow because I just really don't have the energy to edit but I wanted to get this out for you guys by tonight. So if you're reading tonight and see mistakes, please feel free to point them out and I'll fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves!
May 2033
~ A few minutes ago ~
Azzi feels like shit as she runs up the stairs behind her daughter. She feels like a shit mother, she feels like a shit sister-in-law-sort-of-kinda-thing and most of all she feels like a shit ex-girlfriend-turned-complicated-current-situationship-or-whatever. And saying those complicated relationship titles in her head only makes her feel worse. Because really it should’ve been so simple; it had been so simple. And Azzi had chosen to make everything complicated and difficult instead.
Drew’s words had been like a shot going down wrong, an accusation she knew she deserved but one that stung all the same. Paige’s silence -the fact that she hadn’t been able to give Azzi the assurance that she’d forgiven her- had been like the terrible chaser after that only made her feel more nauseous. And the after effects of it had been Azzi exploding all her feelings on her baby girl who’d just wanted some damn soda.
Letting the guilt fester, Azzi pushes open the door to Paige’s bedroom to find Stephie cuddled up against lavender pillows, one of Paige’s few hoodies that hadn’t made it to the Fudd household draped around her tiny little body. Azzi’s heart constricts at the sound of her daughter’s hiccoughs, tightening even more when she notices the wet patch Stephie’s tears have created against the pillow.
“Stephie-bean,” she says softly as she climbs onto the bed, reaching out to brush a hand across the little girl’s curled up frame.
“Go away Mama. I’m mad at you,” Stephie’s petulant reply is immediate as she shrugs off Azzi’s hand, furling away further into herself.
“I know sweetheart-”
“You yelled at me,” Stephie continues, trying to keep her voice as firm as a five-year old’s can be but it’s too many emotions for such a little soul and Azzi can hear the telltale sign of a fresh new set of tears just waiting to fall.
She tries again, gently pulling Stephie’s back against her chest and this time, there’s little resistance as the little girl goes easily into her mother’s arms. Azzi tightens her arms around Stephie’s waist, pressing a litany of featherlight kisses into her hair in between apologies, “I’m sorry. Mama’s so sorry sweetheart. I shouldn’t’ve yelled like that baby-”
“No you shouldn’t’ve,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, as she turns her body around to face her mother’s and Azzi’s hands instinctively move to wipe away the tears tracks on her face, “you were so loud. I don’t like when you yell.”
“I know bean,” Azzi says, the tight grip of remorse squeezing her heart harder at the melancholy in her daughter’s words, “but Stephie baby you know soda’s bad for you-”
“But it’s Friday Mama and I only wanted a little,” the little girl whines immediately, “I swear Mama I would’ve only had a little bit and then I would brushed my teeth so hard and they’d be sparkling white like this,” she pulls her cheeks wide open so she can bare her pearly white teeth at her mother, “see!”
And despite that heavy pit in her stomach, Azzi can’t help the slight peal of laughter that rumbles throughout her and elicits a matching grin from her daughter. She ruffles the little girl’s hair before pulling her flush against herself, Stephie’s head burrowing itself into the crook of her neck and for the first time tonight, Azzi finally feels like she can breathe again. Because at the end of the day, what matters most is the child wrapped securely in her arms and as long as she has Stephie, Azzi thinks, no matter what, she’ll find a way to survive. For Stephie.
Something soft and fluffy brushes against her skin and Azzi reluctantly unfocuses from Stephie to find that the arm of the hoodie that had previously been draped over her daughter’s body, is now wrapped around both of them. Paige’s hoodie. She stares at the material, eyes blinking back tears as that wretched feeling of something’s missing whirls around her. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling; this secret craving that Azzi had often found herself hiding away from when she and Stephie were alone. A craving to have Paige there too, a craving for the two of them to be cradled in the blonde’s strong arms, a craving for this almost perfect picture to be complete. And now that she’s had a taste of what it’s like to have that - these past few weeks having felt like a tester of what it could be like to live in a dream that Azzi had thought she was no longer allowed to dream- Azzi wants nothing more than for it to be permanent.
Another wave of guilt crashes against her as her mind flickers back to the bitter note she’d ended the conversation down stairs on. The stinging emphasis she’d placed on my daughter echoes loudly in her ears and even though Azzi knows that technically she hadn’t said anything untrue, the image of Paige’s face falling -the sparkle in her eyes dimming at the reality of the younger woman’s words- makes Azzi’s heart stutter with regret. There’s a part of her that thinks it’s all happening too fast, a part of her that’s in a constant duel with the rest of herself that’s ready to call Stephie theirs. And she knows it’s only been a couple of weeks -knows that it’s a little insane to have already carved out a place for forever on a shelf that’s plagued with uncertainties- but the truth is that there’s always been an unfilled space in Azzi and Stephie’s world that’s just been waiting for Paige to step in and claim it. It’s always been hers; they’ve always been hers.
“Mama,” Stephie’s quiet voice mumbles against her chest and Azzi distractedly hums in return, “why does Miss Buecks have to learn to say no to me?”
“Because she likes to say yes a little too much and she definitely likes to say yes to you but if she keeps saying yes all the time, she’s gonna spoil you. Well more than you already are that is,” Azzi teases goodnaturedly, tugging at Stephie’s nose.
The little girl pouts loudly before indignantly refuting her mother’s statement, “I am not spoiled. I’m a good girl. A very good girl. A very, very, very, very, very-”
‘Okay, okay, okay,” Azzi says, hushing the little girl with a slight laugh before she can continue to repeat herself, “you’re my very good girl who’s just a little bit spoiled.”
“Maybe a little bit,” Stephie admits, scrunching her nose, “but how come you never make Aunty Leen or Aunty J or Aunty Tessie or any of your other teammates say no to me?”
“Because-well,” Azzi struggles to find the words, “Miss Buecks is- she’s just- it’s different and she’s around a lot more,” she’s around all the time, “and so she’s gotta learn to say no to you sometimes.”
“Like Pops had to learn to say no to me if he wanted to keep helping Nana babysit?” Stephie asks earnestly and Azzi laughs at the reminder of how she and Katie had basically had to force Tim into learning how to say no to his persuasive granddaughter.
“Yeah something like that,” she says with an amused grin.
“So Miss Buecks is like-” Stephie pauses, hesitating slightly before a soft smile -one that bears an uncanny resemblance to the one her mother sometimes has when thinking of the same woman- appears on her face, “she’s like family?”
Azzi’s breath hitches in her throat; the delicate mix of sincerity and innocence in her daughter’s voice makes her pause. Because Stephie says it like it’s the most simple yet most important truth in the word, that’s it’s common knowledge she’s known all her life. Paige is family.
“Yeah,” the brunette breathes out finally, the edges of her lips slightly upturning into a grin that matches her daughter’s, “I guess she is.”
Stephie nods quietly as she mulls over her mother’s answer and Azzi can practically see the cogs turning in her brain before her daughter’s dark brown thoughtful eyes look back up at her, “so does that mean we can keep Miss Buecks forever?”
“I-’
“I mean cause you said she’s family right?” Stephie babbles on, ignoring the way Azzi’s eyes have widened considerably, “and family- family is forever right Mama? That’s what they say? So- so if Miss Buecks is family that means she has to stay forever? We get to keep her forever?”
Azzi blinks rapidly at the onslaught of words falling from her daughter’s lips. Stephie makes it sound so simple; she makes a forever with the three of them sound like a given, like something that’s meant to be. And it makes her think of that night eight years ago, when Paige had made it sound just as simple.
Be mine forever.
It was Azzi who had made it complicated; obsolete even.
But, she thinks, she won’t this time. As she looks back down at her daughter, the hopeful smile on Stephie’s face as she awaits Azzi’s answer, feels a little bit like fate is giving her another chance; a clear sky to re-write her own destiny in the stars. This time, with Paige.
“Do you- do you want that,” Azzi asks slowly, “do you want to keep Miss Buecks forever?”
If possible Stephie’s smile grows even larger as she gives her mother what can only be described as a ‘duh’ look, “of course Mama. I want Miss Buecks forever and ever and ever. You want that too don’t you Mama?”
Azzi pauses for a second, letting herself be immersed in the idea.
“Yeah,” she says softly, her eyes suddenly misty. And she knows that there’s still so much left unresolved, that tonight had revealed a chiasm of problems they’d have to still build a bridge over to get back to each other. But for a chance at a forever Azzi had thought she’d long forsaken, Azzi’s willing to try, “yeah I think I’d like to keep Miss Buecks forever too.”
The squeal Stephie lets out practically bounces off the walls in tandem with the little girl springing off the bed and Azzi laughs as her daughter wraps her small hands around her mother’s much larger ones, trying to tug her along.
“Stephie wait sweetheart, what are you doing? Where are you going?”
Stephie sighs impatiently, “we’re going to Miss Buecks, Mama. We can’t just make this decision without her,” she continues matter-of-factly, “we have to tell her.”
“Tell her what Stephie?” Azzi laughs as she finally lets her daughter pull her off the bed and start dragging her out the door.
“We have to tell her that she’s family and we have to tell her that we want to keep her forever.”
***
They’re about halfway down the stairs when Azzi begins to hear the whispered hissing of an argument between Paige and Drew going on in the kitchen and she feels dread wrap itself around her whole body. It doesn’t take a genius to gauge that it’s likely about her -more specifically about her and Paige’s relationship- and suddenly it feels like something dark has been cast all over her, stomping out the brightness that she’d felt just mere moments ago.
Azzi hesitates on the last few steps, causing Stephie to impatiently look up at her as she contemplates whether or not to interrupt whatever altercation is going on in the kitchen. For as long as she’d known them, Paige and Drew had never seriously fought but then again, when Azzi had known them, Drew had been a child; a kid who would never have doubted his sister's decision, or Azzi’s for that matter. But the man that had walked into their lives tonight is one that had been witness -perhaps even a victim- to all the terrible decisions the two of them had made in the last eight years. It’s only natural, Azzi thinks, that he’d be wary of their relationship. He’d seen the burn marks that their relationship catching on fire had left on his sister’s skin and it was only natural that he’d blame the woman who’d held the matches.
“Mama,” Stephie presses as she tugs at Azzi’s hand, “come on,” she whines, “I wanna see Miss Buecks.”
“Steph-” Azzi tries to say, her instincts going haywire when she hears Paige’s voice more clearly now -stop it Drew- but then Stephie pulls hard and she’s practically tripping down the rest of the stairs, trying to keep balance as the little girl holding her hand continues to drag her towards the kitchen.
They’re still speaking too quietly for Azzi to pick up exactly what they’re saying but there’s a resigned urgency in Drew’s voice and a fearful sadness in Paige’s that makes bile rise at the back of her throat and suddenly Azzi’s very sure that whatever this conversation is, she really doesn’t want to hear it. But her feet keep moving, letting Stephie lead the way as the claws of it takes a second for everything to fall apart sink into her heart.
“-there’s a reason you only wanted to be here for this season,” Azzi hears Drew say as they finally reach the kitchen door and she forces Stephie to a halt. Every part of her is screaming to take her daughter and turn away, to not listen to wherever this conversation she clearly wasn’t meant to hear is going.
“I know,” Paige whispers and Azzi’s heart stutters as she takes in the blonde’s red-rimmed eyes as she leans against the table, “I know.”
Azzi opens her mouth, ready to alert the brother-sister duo of their presence but before she can say anything, Drew’s speaking again and as the words roll out of his mouth, Azzi feels her blood run cold.
“Stick to the plan Paige. Let the Liberty be the end goal. You’ll be in New York by the end of October.”
The plan. Liberty. New York. October.
The words run around in a frenzy through Azzi’s brain creating a mixture of confusion battling with the sense of an unwanted realization that makes her feel dizzy. It’s like someone pricking a needle against the bubble of forever she’d just let herself believe in and there’s a loud pop echoing in her head. The noise hurts. Azzi had known Paige’s contract with GSV was only for a year; she’d even considered -perhaps even expected- that when Paige had signed it, she probably wasn’t planning on staying forever.
But that was then.
Surely things would be different now.
“Miss Buecks,” Azzi’s dragged out of the cacophony of her mind by the sound of her daughter speaking. Stephie’s voice is wracked with fragility as she clings tightly onto her mother’s hand, her face morphed into a combination of betrayal and please tell me i’m wrong as she looks at Paige, whose face has gone ashen at the sight of the two of them standing by the doorway, “you’re moving to New York?”
“Stephie,” Paige whispers, eyes brimming with tears as she falls to her knees in front of the little girl, hand moving to grip her her shoulders, “sweetheart I-”
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie says again, her usually boisterous tone replaced by a meek, desperate one, “are you going to New York? Are you- are you,” her voice breaks and the next words come out in a barely there whisper, “are you leaving us?”
Say no, Azzi thinks, please say no, say you aren’t leaving, promise you’d never leave. But as she watches Paige open and close her mouth, choking on air as she tries to give an answer, she knows it’s wishful thinking, knows that it’s a promise Paige isn’t going to make.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie’s voice is shaking, holding back her tears as tight as she’s holding onto the hope that Paige will give her the answer she wants- the answer she needs, “are you leaving us?”
“I-” Paige bites her lip, hands running up and down Stephie’s shoulder and arms, almost like she’s trying to memorize what it feels like to be able to touch her, almost like, she’s not sure when she'll get the chance to have her this close again again, “I don’t- I don’t know sweetheart I-”
It’s the wrong answer and Azzi closes her eyes as Paige cuts herself off with a small gasp of air when Stephie rips herself out of the blonde's grasp
“No,” the little girl says harshly, pushing herself behind her mothers legs.
“Stephie-bean,” Paige says helplessly, looking from the little girl to Azzi.
“No, no, no, no,” Stephie says; each no is louder than the last, “how you don’t know? You’re an ‘dult. ‘Dults are big. They know everything so how you don't know Miss Buecks?”
“It’s not that simple bean-” Paige tries to say, her hands outstretched towards the little girl, fingers clenching and unclenching like they don’t know how to be still unless they’re clasping onto her.
“It is,” Stephie yells, “are you leaving us or not? Yes or no Miss Buecks?”
“I-” the blonde splutters, still unsure of what to say.
“Stephie,” it’s Azzi who cuts Paige off this time, opening her eyes as she bends down in front of her daughter, pulling the little girl into a hug, “baby it’s okay. It’s going to be okay-”
“No it’s not,” Stephie screams as she wrangles herself out of her mother’s grip, the force of it causing Azzi to stumble backwards and something like if you’re going to hold me, hold me forever catches in her throat when Paige instinctively reaches out an arm to wrap around the her waist to keep her steady. The contact makes Azzi shiver and she has to fight the urge to let her shoulders relax, the urge to let herself melt into the warmth that Paige has always exuded. They stare at each other for a second, Azzi trying to drown herself in the ocean blue of the blonde’s eyes as Paige tries to find some semblance of stability to hold onto in the brunette’s earthy ones.
“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, that one syllable coated in layers of emotions that Azzi thinks she’d be willing to spend an eternity peeling through if it would bring her one step closer to keeping the woman in front of her from leaving, from going to fucking New York.
“Mama I wanna go home,” Stephie’s adamant voice pierces through the silence and Azzi tears her gaze away from Paige -but not before she can catch a brief glance of the older woman’s face contorting in pain- to look up at her daughter's cloudy face.
“Stephie-bean,” Paige speaks before Azzi can, heartbreak laced in her tone as she practically pleads with the little girl, “sweetheart please-”
“You promised you’d try to stay” Stephie bursts out, big fat tears cascading down her small face, “do you even rem-ber? At Nana and Pops’s house when I was scared you left you promised you’d try. But you’re not- you’re not even trying to stay Miss Buecks,” the little girl accuses, “you- you- you lied to me Miss Buecks.”
“I didn’t Stephie- I didn’t lie-” Paige tries to explain between her own tears and they’re still pressed so close together that Azzi can feel every shake of the older woman’s body against her own, “I didn’t lie sweetheart. I’m still- I’m still trying-”
“You’re not-”
“I am. I am Stephie. It’s just-” Paige’s eyes flicker towards Azzi who flinches at the unspoken implication, “it’s complicated.”
“Then un-comp-icate it,” Stephie stomps her feet petulantly before a series of heavy sobs wracked her tiny body and she heaves loudly, clutching at her chest.
Concern floods through Azzi’s veins as she shuffles towards her daughter, still on her knees and Paige follows her lead, the two of them inching closer, “Stephie-”
Something shifts as Stephie looks at the two of them through tear-stained eyelashes; the anger and fight slowly dissolving into the air. And then, if possible, her face crumples even more before she’s falling into Paige’s lap, one arm tightly wrapping around the blonde’s neck as her other hand reaches out to grab onto Azzi’s bicep, binding the three of them together in a mess of limbs on the cold kitchen floor.
“Please don’t go Miss Buecks,” Stephie wails as Paige clutches the little girl firmly against her chest, her hands brushing through her dark curls as she tries to comfort her, “please, please, please Miss Buecks I don’t want you to go. Don’t go to New York. Please don’t go. Please stay- stay with me and Mama forever. Please Miss Buecks.”
“Stephie-”
“Please don’t leave us Miss Buecks,” Stephie cries, her breathing unnaturally heavy as she shakes in Paige’s arms and Azzi reaches out a hand to soothe her back, trying and failing to keep her own tears at bay. Azzi’s chest tightens as Stephie continues to babble, begging Paige to stay as the blonde continues to hold her, droplets of water streaming down her face as she gently rocks the little girl back and forth. Because despite the way Paige has practically melded Stephie’s little body into her own, Azzi can see the way that the older woman still can’t seem to say the words that the little girl wants to hear, can’t seem to bring herself to guarantee forever. And it feels like the threads of the dream she’d just started weaving, are slipping out of her fingertips.
Azzi doesn’t know how long they sit there -Stephie still pleading in Paige’s arms and Azzi stroking her back- but eventually her daughter’s words begin to turn into nonsense, her breathing slowly evening out until there’s nothing but silence; the gravity of her emotions having lulled her to sleep. The silence is deafening as Azzi tries to figure out what exactly she should do next, take her daughter and run or succumb to that part of herself that wants to follow Stephie’s lead and beg Paige to never leave them. She still doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, what sort of plan Paige has about moving to New York and if she’s honest with herself, there’s a part of her that doesn’t want to know; a part of her that wants to go back to ignorant bliss they’d been living in for the last few weeks. But as she stares at the dried tear tracks staining her daughter’s face -that familiar guilt of all we do is hurt the people around us reverberating between her and Paige- Azzi knows there’s no going back.
“We should talk,” Paige says finally, her voice small as she looks at Azzi, “please.”
Azzi swallows as she wipes at her tears, ignoring the way Paige’s eyes trace her fingers, like they wish it was her brushing them away instead. She ignores the part of heart that wants that too, wants Paige’s comfort, just wants Paige.
“Yeah, yeah I guess we should,” she says finally, “but um- I should- um,” she gestures towards Stephie’s sleeping body, “should uh- probably put her to bed first.”
“Right- yeah- yeah of course,” Paige nods awkwardly as Azzi reaches to pry Stephie off of her.
The little girl lets out a low sleepy whine, her hands tightening around Paige’s neck, “no Miss Buecks don’t let me go.”
“Stephie,” Azzi’s heart breaks at the fear etched on her daughter’s face, despite being fast asleep, at the idea of being taken away from her Miss Buecks.
“I’ve got you sweetheart,” Paige whispers softly against the little girl’s hair before looking back at Azzi, her eyes swimming with guilt, “I can- I can take her upstairs.”
A part of Azzi wants to say no, wants to start taking out stitches in the places where Stephie and Paige have already sewn themselves together. There’s a part of her that regrets having ever given them the needle in the first place, a part of her that wishes she’d never let her daughter get so attached, when there were so many uncertainties about the strength of the thread between them.
But instead she says, “fine,” as she follows Paige up the stairs, heart constricting at the softness with which the other woman holds her little girl.
“Put her in one of the guest rooms,” Azzi calls out quietly when Paigs starts to turn into her own room.
The blonde stops in her tracks, turning around to face Azzi and she has to look away when she sees the stricken expression on Paige’s face. They were meant to be having a sleepover. The night was supposed to end with the three of them curled in Paige’s bed, supposedly watching some random movie but in actuality, Stephie would have dosed off in the middle of it and Paige and Azzi, with their hands entwined over the little girl’s body, would have spent the rest of it talking about everything and nothing. That’s how it was meant to go; it was meant to have been just another night like any of the other ones they’d spent together the last couple of weeks. But now that normalcy seems like an out of reach fairytale.
“Az-” Paige tries to argue but there isn’t much fight in it and just the slight defeated shake of Azzi’s head is enough to have the older woman biting her lip and doing as she’s asked.
Azzi hangs back by the doorway as Paige gently places Stephie down on the bed, pulling up the moss green covers over the little girl’s body. It feels wrong, Azzi thinks, as her mind drifts back to a few moments ago when Stephie had been cuddled in Paige’s purple bedsheets; that had felt right, like a place her daughter could truly belong. She shuffles her feet nervously as she watches Paige caress Stephie’s cheeks before pressing her lips against the little girl’s forehead.
“I love you Miss Buecks,” Azzi hears Stephie mutter and she digs her fingernails into her palms.
Paige lets out a quiet whimper, shuddering slightly as she echoes the words back, “I love you more Stephie-bean.”
That should be enough, Azzi thinks, it should be enough that Stephie loves Paige and Paige loves Stephie to keep them together. And it’s not fair that it isn’t but if there’s anyone that knows that sometimes love isn’t quite enough to keep two people together, it’s Azzi. There’s too much there, too much history and she’d been naive to think the past wouldn’t cast a dark shadow on her present.
The walk back downstairs feels like it takes an eternity; like they’re climbing back down from a tall mountain. Azzi walks ahead of Paige and she can feel the blonde’s gaze lingering on her back, can practically feel the tension vibrating off of her body at the prospect of the talk they’re about to have. Drew stands at the bottom of the stairs, nervously pacing with his hands stuffed in his pocket. His eyes move up to meet Azzi’s when she finally reaches the last step and he looks a lot like the little boy who’d once accidentally spilled a glass of water all over one of her favorite books. He has that same guilty look he’d had back then when he’d apologized profusely, swearing he’d save up all his pocket money just to buy her another one.
“I’m sorry,” Drew says in a rush, “I didn’t know you guys were coming back down and I didn’t know Stephie was gonna hear that-any of that. I swear Azzi- you know I wouldn’t have said any of that shit if I knew she was gonna hear-”
“It’s fine Drew,” Azzi reassures him, hesitating slightly before reaching out a hand to gently pat his cheek and she’s relieved when he doesn’t immediately back away, “I know you didn’t mean to.”
Drew lets out a small sigh of relief, “okay good cause I really didn’t. I uh-” his gaze flutters between Paige and Azzi, “I’ll um- I’ll let you guys talk now,” he pauses in front of Paige, who looks about as miserable as Azzi feels, “love you no matter what Paigey,” he whispers before giving her a quick peck on her forehead and squeezing her shoulder.
And then it’s just the two of them and the heavy burden of everything they can no longer ignore.
***
April 2027
Azzi grips the armrest tightly, her eyes screwed shut as the plane shakes rapidly while preparing to land. For someone who’s pretty-well travelled and has dealt with her fair share of turbulent plane rides, Azzi still finds herself going ridgid every time an aircraft she’s on starts getting a little too bumpy. She can practically hear Paige’s teasing voice -even after all this time- calling her a big baby but the blonde would have laced their fingers together anyway, distracted her with some random story and she’d have held on to her hand -no matter how sweaty- until the plane stopped moving.
God, Azzi misses her so fucking much.
But hopefully she won’t have to for much longer. Azzi’s not quite sure what’ll happen after she lands in Dallas, hasn’t -in a very un-Azzi-like step- even really practiced what she wants to say. But, and she knows it’s a little dramatic but she thinks she can probably come up with a mix of apologizing, begging for forgiveness and declaring her undying love that would atleast get Paige to consider giving her another chance.
There’s this hollow ache in her chest that hasn’t gone away for the last two years. And Azzi had tried to ignore it, had tried to shift her focus to everything else -everything good- that was happening in her life. But even after she’d had an All-American last season at UConn, even after she’d let that team to a back-to-back national championship, even after she’d been the first pick of the 2026 draft to GSV, even after she’d won rookie of the year, there was a still lingering pain -a deep rooted sense of something she’d lost- etched through her whole body. The thing is that Azzi knows she can survive -can even succeed- without Paige- but she doesn’t want to. Not anymore.
The decision was a long-time coming, the inevitable leap of faith to chase after what she wanted most in the world. But it had all clicked into place at the most mundane of times. She’d been at the park on her regular morning run and she’d seen a family -two women who’d looked at each other like they’d stop breathing if they looked away and their beautiful baby girl who was happily swinging in between them- and suddenly everything else had felt so insignificant in comparison. She’d been forced to admit the truth she’d been trying so hard to run away from. That was the future Azzi wanted -perhaps not immediately but eventually- and she wanted it with Paige.
Azzi hadn’t let herself overthink it, knowing that if she gave herself enough time, she’d more than likely talk herself out of it. Instead, she’d booked the tickets from San Francisco to Dallas in a rush and then called Ice -the newly anointed Dallas Wing rookie- and it hadn’t taken much to convince her former teammate - who’d all but squealed at the idea of her ‘parents getting back together’- to pick her up from the airport and drive her straight to Paige’s.
“She’s gonna be so happy,” Ice had assured her, “I mean I’ve only been here like a week but I know for sure she misses you Az. Oh my god this is so exciting,” and Azzi had laughed as she’d listened to the sound of her friend giddily clapping, “I’m so excited for the two of you. You belong together.”
A serene smile crosses Azzi’s face, and she knows it must look a little ridiculous just smiling to herself like this, but all she can think about is that she’d be with Paige soon. And she’s not naive enough to think that everything would miraculously be okay; she knows just how deeply her rejection must have pierced into Paige’s soul. But if the other woman gives her the chance, Azzi’s ready to spend an eternity making it up to her.
She sucks in a deep breath as the wheels of the plane collide with the runway, her eyes crinkling slightly as she realizes the weather app had lied to her and instead of the ambient evening she’d expected, it’s torrential downpour outside. In hindsight, maybe that should have been her first sign. But for now, Azzi smiles at the raindrops trickling down the window, clichéd memories of kissing in the rain -”baby come on, it's romantic, who cares if we get sick”- flooding her brain.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. The time outside is currently 7 pm in the evening. We hope you had a good flight and on behalf of Delta Airlines, we wish you a pleasant stay,” the pilot’s voice croons throughout the speakers as Azzi fidgets with her necklace, her last Christmas gift from Paige.
Just a little while longer baby. I’m coming to you. Forever.
***
The nerves she’d kept at bay hit Azzi all at once as soon as she climbs into Ice’s car; the thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong barrage into her mind as she watches the windshield wipers furiously fight against the rain. What if Paige doesn’t wanna see her? What if Paige isn’t willing to give her another chance? What if Paige hates her?
“Dude,” Ice groans, briefly looking away from the road to flick Azzi’s arm, “I can literally hear you thinking. Chill the fuck out!”
“I’m trying,” Azzi whines, leaning her head against the cool window, “Fuck, Ice what if this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life? What if she sees me and is like ‘what the fuck are you doing here,’ what if she tells me go home? Oh my god Ice why the fuck did you let me do this?”
“Let you?” Ice splutters indignantly, “oh no no no. You are not putting this on me. You didn’t even let me say anything when you called. It was literally ‘hey Ice, I’m coming to Dallas, make sure you pick me up in 6 hours okay thanks’ and next thing I know you’re in Dallas,” the younger girl mimics the phone-call as Azzi continues to groan.
“This is why I leave the spontaneous shit up to Paige,” she says, stressfully rubbing her face.
“Yeah but-” Ice gives her a lopsided grin, her tone softening considerably, “she’s gonna love that you did this for her Az. Trust me dude- the two of you- you’re meant to be. Everyone’s always known that. She’s gonna be so fucking happy to see you.”
“Thank Icey,” Azzi says softly, dragging in another deep breath, “I needed to hear that.”
“Any time Az, any time,” Ice reaches over to squeeze her hand and Azzi finally lets herself relax into her seat.
The rest of the car ride consists of reminiscing their time at UConn -it’s strange to think that they’re both alums now- and Ice telling Azzi stories about her move from Connecticut to Texas. Anticipation builds in Azzi’s stomach as she glances at the GSP, eyes fixating on the ‘3 minutes till your destination’ bubble on the bottom left corner.
Her destination.
Azzi thinks no matter how much she’d tried to fight, no matter how much she’d tried to turn and walk the other way, all roads were always meant to lead here. Paige was always meant to be her final destination. She’s not one for fairytales, doesn’t think life began with once upon a time, but as Ice’s car comes to halt opposite the blonde’s apartment, Azzi hopes that her life has a happily ever after where she and Paige get to write the ending of their stories together.
“We’re here,” Ice says slowly, smiling ear to ear as she turns towards Azzi, “go get your girl.”
“Okay, okay-” Azzi whispers to herself, “you’ve got this Azzi. Just fall to your knees and tell her you’re sorry and that you love her,” she shoves Ice when the younger girl snorts at her little pep talk and then breathes in deeply, “it’s gonna be okay. I’ve got this. I’ve got this!”
“You’ve got this,” Ice affirms, forever a supportive child.
Taking one more breath, Azzi’s just about to step outside, when she sees her. Paige is walking, almost running towards her apartment. Despite the rain, in typical Paige-fashion, the blonde doesn’t have an umbrella. Strands of wet hair are plastered against her forehead and little droplets of rain cascade down her face and neck. Her shirt sticks to her body so that Azzi can see the definition of her abs and the younger woman would love to take a moment to appreciate just how fucking hot Paige looks but instead, her eyes follow the bulge of the blonde’s biceps down to where her hands are interlocked with someone else’s. Someone else who’s not Azzi.
She gasps for air but she swears it’s carbon dioxide that settles in her lungs instead because god, does it burn.
Paige is laughing, eyes twinkling as she and a beautiful woman -a beautiful woman who isn’t Azzi- race to get out of the rain. She hears Ice curse behind her, sounding just as confused as she feels as the two of them watch the scene unfold in front of them, watching Paige and the woman come to halt right in front of the blonde’s apartment building.
“Az maybe we should-”
“Who is that?” Azzi cuts Ice off, her eyes still transfixed on the two smiling women.
Ice sighs, “her name’s Olivia. She’s a reporter for the Dallas Morning News-”
“And who is she to Paige?” Azzi asks bitterly, as if she doesn’t know the answer, as if the way Paige is wrapping an arm around that woman’s waist isn’t enough of an answer in itself.
“I don’t know. Azzi I swear I didn’t know she had a-” Ice hesitates, “she hasn’t told me anything about another woman.
Azzi doesn’t say anything, hand tightly gripping the car door she hadn’t even had a chance to open as she watches Paige brush a loose strand of hair out of the woman’s face.
The tip of the dagger pierces against her heart.
The woman smiles at Paige as she wraps her arms around the blonde’s neck and now they’re pressed flush against each other, barely any space between them.
The dagger digs deeper.
Paige caresses the woman’s cheeks.
The dagger twists.
It happens in slow motion; Paige moving ever so slowly as she presses her lips against the woman’s.
And the dagger lodges itself somewhere so deep inside Azzi, she thinks it might be permanently entrenched inside her soul.
It’s funny, Azzi thinks as she watches the two women break apart -their hands intertwining again as they start walking into the apartment- anyone else watching this scene would perhaps think of it as something straight out of a romantic comedy. But to Azzi, it feels like the climax scene of a tragedy.
“Can you take me back to the airport?” she says slowly, still watching Paige’s retreating back.
“What- no Azzi I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ice disagrees immediately, “c’mon we’ll go back to my place and I swear I have some good vodka left over from my housewarming party-”
“Ice please,” Azzi begs, her voice hoarse, “I just wanna go home. Please.”
“Okay, okay. Whatever you say Azzi,” Ice concedes softly, already starting to pull away from the curb.
“You can’t tell her about this, you know that right?”
“Az-”
“No Ice. She’s moved on and she’s allowed to move on,” the words feel like thorns on the tip of her tongue, “she looks happy. I won’t ruin that. You can’t tell her. You can’t ever tell her.”
“Fine,” Ice nods reluctantly, “I won’t say anything.”
Azzi allows herself one more look back at the apartment, allows herself one more second to dream of Paige running back outside, spotting her and telling her that all of this is just one big misunderstanding, telling her that she hasn’t found someone else, telling her that she’s still Azzi’s. But dreams aren’t reality. No, reality is the fact that Paige looked happy, looked happy with someone that wasn’t Azzi. And even if that damn fucking dagger -sharpened with the image of Paige and someone else- is making her bleed out, Azzi thinks that her heart will still a find way to keep beating, as long as she knows that Paige is happy.
***
The almost two thousand dollar last-minute flight back to San Francisco passes by in a blur. Azzi feels like she’s sleep-walking as she gets into the uber, pressing play on a voice message Ice had left her from after she’d gotten on the plane.
“Azzi please text or call me as soon as you land. I’m really worried about you dude. I’m so fucking sorry. I had no idea. I texted Adam after -he’s a team manager that’s really close with Paige- and I guess she and Olivia have been dating since the end of the season last year but Paige is keeping it highkey on the DL like the team barely knows and I swear Az- I didn’t know. Fuck please don’t do anything stupid Azzi. Text me as soon as you hear this and then just- just go home and sleep and call me tomorrow morning. I love you Az, I’m so fucking sorry.”
Since the end of the season, Azzi thinks slowly, her brain still a fuddled mess. That meant that Paige had been with someone for almost eight months. And Azzi knows she has no right to feel this hurt, let alone feel that tiny spark of betrayal that’s lingering underneath it. She’s the one that had let go; it’s only natural that Paige would eventually find someone else to hold on to.
“Where to Miss?” the uber driver asks as Azzi’s typing out a short ‘landed’ text to Ice.
It’s almost two in the morning and sleep prickles against Azzi’s eyes, her body feeling barely functional but the urge to just forget is stronger than the wave of tiredness washing over her body. And so she ignores every good instinct she has and instead of giving the cab drive her home address, Azzi tells him to drive to the nearest bar instead.
It’s a heat-of-the-moment decision -taken as sordid images of Paige wrapped around another woman cloud her ability to think- and she doesn’t know it’s about to change the trajectory of her whole life.
***
May 2033
The silence in the living room is deafening as Paige and Azzi find themselves sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Azzi’s fingers tap against her thighs; resisting the impulse to reach over and touch the other girl, comfort her and be comforted in return. This night has felt like one of the longest in her life, all the hits falling like dominoes with the two of them at the end of the line. And perhaps it’s the way she’s starting to feel the bruises now as she absorbs everything that’s happened tonight that has her thinking fuck it and turning to Paige with a pleading look on her face.
“Can you just-” Azzi hesitates as she scooches just slightly closer to the other woman who regards the movement with wide eyes, “I know- I know we have to talk and we will but I just- it’s been a long night and I’m just so fucking tired and I just- I miss you-” she says and she’s not sure how it’s possible when Paige has been here the whole night but it’s the truth, “and I just- can you just hold me? Please?”
Paige is so still that for a moment Azzi thinks maybe she’s asked for too much but then the older woman is moving -so fast like she’s scared the brunette will change her mind- and Azzi feels herself being lifted sideways onto Paige’s lap. The blonde’s grip is iron tight as Azzi buries her head into the crevice of her neck, breathing in the smell of all things Paige. She reaches her hand out gently, placing it against the older woman’s chest, trying to stabilize the two of them to the steady beat of Paige’s heart as the other woman rubs her hand up and down Azzi’s back. They stay like that for god knows how long and Azzi wishes she could just keep them like this forever, in each other’s arms.
But they need to talk.
And Azzi reluctantly untangles herself Paige, closing her eyes when the blonde lets out a soft whimper. She doesn’t move all the way to the other end of the sofa this time; choosing instead to sit right next to Paige with their legs pressed togethers and it’s not nearly enough -too little when all she wants is to be consumed by Paige- but at least it’s something.
“I was going to tell you tonight,” Paige starts slowly, “you remember in the car when I said I would explain the whole Angie thing to you, well that- that’s part of this whole mess.”
Azzi furrows her eyebrows, “Angie? What does- what does she have to do with this?”
“I’ll get there okay- just- just let me start from the beginning,” Paige says nervously, “just listen okay.”
Biting her lip, Azzi nods, signaling for the older woman to continue.
“I didn’t want to come to GSV-”
“Because of me?”
Paige sighs, “yes. It- it just- it felt like such a bad idea at the time. You broke my heart Az,” she shoots Azzi an apologetic look when she flinches at the bluntness of it, “and coming here- being around you- I was scared it was gonna be a reminder of that all the time. Every time I’ve seen you these last couple of years Az- it’s hurt. And I just didn’t- I couldn’t live with that every day.”
It’s not something Azzi wants to here but she understands it; she’d felt the exact same way when Colleen had first told her about GSV being interested in Paige.
“But more than anything,” Paige continues, “I was scared that coming here meant giving you a chance to do it again. Because the two of us being together for more than just a fleeting moment- well it felt inevitable that something would happen and I was just so scared that it would be something bad. And so I fought Talia every step of the way until she forced me to come here and I met Stephie,” a soft smile flitters across the blonde’s face, “and she just- she said I’d look good in purple.”
Azzi laughs, “and that’s all it took huh?”
“You know me. A little bit of flattery will get you everywhere,” Paige grins, “but it wasn’t just her,” she nudges Azzi, “it was you. I was so sure you were gonna tell me to turn it down, tell me that there was no way this was gonna work. But you didn’t. You’re always surprising me I guess. Baby you said you wanted me on your team and that was it for me. No matter how much I said I needed time to think or whatever, as soon as you asked me to come here, I knew I was a Valkyrie.”
“I lied to Colleen that it was for the team,” Azzi admits, “think I even lied to myself about it that I wanted you here to help us win a championship. And yeah maybe that was a little bit of it but I just-” she looks down shyly at her lap, “I just wanted you. Here. With me.”
They’re quiet for a little bit, letting their confession dangle in the air until Azzi breaks it, her mind back to focusing on the revelation from before, “I don’t get it then Paige- what was Drew talking about then? What is this whole plan thing with the Liberty? Being in New York by October? I know your contract is for a year but I just-” she shrugs, “I just assumed you were gonna renew with us so where- where does New York even come into play in all of this? I’m just- I’m just so confused.”
Paige chews at her bottom lip and fidgets with her fingers, two tell-tale signs of her nerves as she keep her gaze firmly away from meeting Azzi’s, “I guess- I guess all my fighting against GSV got through to Talia and after I’d made up my mind to sign with the Valkyries, she- she figured out a verbal deal with the Liberty. They didn’t- they didn’t have the money for me this year but next year with Sabrina retiring- next year they will and GSV knew they were gonna get Angie to be their point guard of the future and it all just- it all made sense. I’d stay here for a year, mentor Angie so she could be my replacement for next year and then I’d-”
“Then you’d leave,” Azzi says bitterly and this time it’s Paige who flinches, “but you said- you said Stephie and I convinced you to come here- so- so what? We only convinced you to come for a year?” she asks, her tone sharper than she intended it to be.
“No it wasn’t- it wasn’t like that,” Paige tries to justify, “I just- it scared me how easy it was for me to be convinced. It was one moment with Stephie- one moment with you- and I was ready to make a decision for my future based just off of those two little moments. Do you know how scary that is? And I knew- I knew that coming here- being around the two of you would just- it would make me fall so fucking fast -and it has- and I was just so scared that I’d get my heart broken again and I just- I needed an escape plan.”
“You needed an excuse to leave us,” Azzi says venomously.
“That’s not fair Azzi,” Paige says quietly, “you have to understand how afraid I was of history repeat itself Az,” she reaches for the younger woman’s hand, enveloping it between her own, “when I lost you the first time, I was so fucking broken and it took me so long to fix myself- I- I don’t even know if I did ever fully fix me. You can’t blame me for being scared of having to go through it again.”
Azzi’s quiet for a second before she finally lets out a sigh because Paige is right and she can’t- she won’t hold whatever decision the other woman had made before they’d found their way back to each other, against her.
“Okay. Okay. I- I get it. I get why you were scared. I get why you had a whole backup plan and-,” she grins teasingly at the blonde, “and now I also get why you were such a bitch to Angie.”
Paige laughs a little, pressing her forehead against Azzi’s and closing her eyes, letting themselves melt into a comfortable silence as they bask in each other’s presence and for a moment’s Azzi feels floaty and free until Drew’s words replay themselves inside her head.
“Paige,” she says slowly, earning a little hum of acknowledgement from the other woman, “it’s over now though right? The deal- you- you’re gonna tell the Liberty that it’s off? No more New York right? Not even as an escape plan?”
The blonde stiffens, her eyes opening immediately.
“Paige,” Azzi presses, lifting her forehead so she can study the older woman’s face properly, the false comfort of a few seconds ago being replaced by a leaden pit in her stomach.
“I- I don’t know,” Paige whispers, so quietly that it takes a couple of seconds for Azzi’s ears to even pick it up. But when it does finally register -the repeat of what she’d said to Stephie- it feels like something’s slowly cracking inside Azzi, until the cracks get larger and larger and something shatters, the pieces of it lodging themselves in every organ of her body.
“You don’t-” Azzi swallows, pulling her hands out Paige’s, “you don’t know?”
“Az-”
“No,” Azzi holds her hand out in a stop sign as Paige tries to grab for her, “how- how can you not know,” she keeps speaking even when the blonde tries to reply, “Paige you- you were the one who pushed for this. You were the one who begged- who convinced me to try. Why- why would you do that? What have we been doing for the last few weeks Paige if you’re still thinking about leaving at the end of the season? God Paige- how can you even say that you don’t know?”
“I thought I did,” Paige bumbles out, “these past few weeks have been everything to me Azzi and I thought I knew but tonight- everything Drew said-” she stops suddenly and Azzi knows whatever the young man had said isn't something Paige wants to repeat back to her.
“What did Drew say?”
Paige hesitates, “he thinks you’re gonna break my heart and that I’ll lose you and that I’ll-” she clutches her throat like the next words are physically painful to say, “that I’ll lose Stephie.”
“And you- you think he’s right?”
There’s heartbreak etched all over Paige’s face as she shrugs helplessly, “you’ve done it before Az. You let me go. You- you said no-”
“And you’re one who left,” Azzi bursts out, tears cascading down her face as she rises to her feet.
Paige guffaws up at her, “what?”
“I know I said no but you left literally the next fucking day before I could say anything else. God Paige, I know I fucked up and I know that it’s mainly my fault. Trust me I’ve regretted it every single day,” Azzi sobs, “but you- you left Paige. I know I let you go but you didn’t hold on to me either. You just- you left.”
“Azzi-”
“I understand why you had an escape plan before,” Azzi says, wiping away her tears, “but I can’t be with you if you still have one now. Especially not when Stephie’s involved. She’s already so fucking attached and if you can’t promise not to leave her then I- I can’t let her get anymore attached. I can’t watch my baby girl cry like she did tonight- not again Paige.”
“Azzi,” Paige says again, like it's the only word she knows; the only word that matters.
Azzi falls to her knees in front of the other woman, wrapping her hands around Paige’s tightly wounded fists.
“I get that you’re scared and I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel like heartbreak is inevitable with me,” she presses a kiss against the blonde’s knuckles, “but Paige I- I can’t- live like this, I can’t live knowing that you could leave me -leave us- any second. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe in us and I need you to tell me you’ll stay. And if you can’t do that then-”
“Please don’t say it,” Paige breathes out, her shoulders radiating with tension.
Azzi stands back up slowly, delicately placing her lips against the older woman’s forehead. She feels Paige shudder under her touch as she tries to put every little bit of emotion, every little bit of please choose me, please choose us, please choose to stay, into that kiss.
“Just- just think about it- sleep on it I guess. Take your time Paige but I- I need more than ‘I don’t know’ as an answer,” she says finally, the words lingering between them as she brushes away a couple of strands of the blonde’s hair before letting out a sigh as she puts some space between them, “I should go.”
Paige’s fingers immediately wrap around her wrist as the other woman blinks up at Azzi with pleading eyes, “don’t go-”
“Paige-”
“It’s late. Stephie’s asleep. Just- just stay.”
You stay, Azzi wants to scream because how can Paige ask her to do the one thing that the older woman herself is scared to do. But she’s exhausted and driving home -to a house that’s entrenched with the memories of the last few weeks but wouldn’t have Paige in it- sounds like something dreadful. And so she nods, shooting Paige another longing look before she heads towards the staircase.
“Az,” she hears the other woman call out just as she’s about to climb onto the first step, making her stop and turn her head over her shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“You know right? You know that- that I-” Paige gulps, “you know that I lo-”
“No,” Azzi says immediately, shaking her head rapidly, “say it to me when you can tell me you’ll stay.”
***
May 2027
Azzi taps her foot incessantly against the hardwood floor as her gaze nervously flitters towards the front of the restaurant, where a man in a light blue polo shirt and dark jeans has just walked in, his own eyes scanning the premises in search of someone. She has the ridiculous urge to shrink in her seat, to hide away from his wandering eyesight as if he’s not the reason she’s here in the first place. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten Mississippis, Azzi finally raises her hand, trying to wave him over.
“Tristan,” she calls out, attempting to arrange her features into a smile to match his when the man in question finally spots her.
“Hey,” Tristan choruses, his eyes twinkling as he slips into the seat opposite Azzi, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda shocked you called. Not that I’m not happy- I mean, who wouldn’t be happy if a pretty girl called but I- I just wasn’t expecting it.”
Azzi tries to give him a humorous grin, “so you just gave me your number expecting nothing?”
She’s trying to make a joke but it comes out flat and she hopes he can’t read just how uncomfortable she is; won’t call her out for the uneasiness that she knows is radiating off of her.
“Expecting? No. Hoping? Definitely,” Tristan smirks and Azzi’s reminded of the charm he’d exuded that night in the bar.
The memory makes her want to throw up- well she supposes it’s probably not just the memory but also her little situation. She regards the man in front of her warily; he’s not bad to look at and at first glance he doesn’t exude any major red flags. And she’s almost ready to give her way-too-fucking-drunk past self a pat on the back because she'd made multiple dumb-as-fuck decisions that night -exhibit a: fucking a random stranger in a bar while mourning her ex- but at least she’d had the sense not to choose a complete psychopath.
“Well I called,” she announces awkwardly.
Tristan raises an eyebrow, “it’s been a whole month.”
Azzi bites her lip, “better late than never?”
The man in front of her snorts, “I suppose so but honestly I wasn’t expecting you to call at all. I mean- I figured you’d have gotten back together with your ex.”
That causes Azzi to suck in a sharp breath, her fingers digging crescent shaped scars into her palms.
“I mean,” Tristan continues, oblivious to the way his words cut into the woman in front of him, “you just- you sounded like you really loved her and the way you talked about your relationship- it just- it sounded so perfect and I know I don’t know her and I know- I know you mentioned she was seeing someone else but you just- your relationship like- that shit sounded unbeatable and so I just- I guess I just assumed that if you wanted her back- she’d want you back-”
“She’s engaged,” Azzi says loudly and it would be comical how quickly that shuts Tristan up if it wasn’t for the fact that saying those words out loud, feels like shooting an arrow into her own heart. She can still see the engagement announcement floating behind her eyes; can still so clearly see the pictures of Paige down on one knee for a woman who was beaming down at her, for someone who had said yes.
“Oh,” Tristan’s saved from having to say anything more when the waiter appears with a menu.
“What can I get you guys today?” the waitress asks cheerfully.
“Just the salmon for me please,” Azzi says, still a little lost in her thoughts.
“And for you sir?” the waitress turns to Tristan after jotting down Azzi’s order.
“I will have the chicken with a waldorf salad on the side but with no nuts please; I’m allergic to most nuts,” Tristan responds politely as the waitress nods and starts to walk away but it’s the last part that perks Azzi’s ears up.
“You’re allergic to nuts? Is that like- is that genetic?” she asks.
Tristan seems a little taken back by her curiosity of his allergy but he nods his head yeah and Azzi pencils that little fact into her brain, figuring it would be an important tidbit to share with her doctor.
“So your ex is engaged,” Tristan repeats, looking apologetic when his bluntness makes Azzi flinch but it’s replaced by a smirk as he lounges back in his seat, “so you called me for what? A rebound? I mean look Az, you’re a gorgeous girl but only being called for a rebound might just give a guy a complex.”
She knows he’s trying to be suave -charming even- but instead all it does is give her the ick and Azzi’s reminded of why she’d avoided men since her mistake of a boyfriend back in her senior year of high school. Hell, she’d only dated him because she and Paige had been trying their hands at another attempt of being just friends and the blonde was dating some pretty girl. But he’d been the first and last man she’d ever been with -which wasn’t surprising considering it had taken her and Paige only a year after to finally get together- until that night at the bar.
Azzi barely remembers anything about that night beyond flashes of memories but she remembers the morning after clearly, remembers the regret that had coiled itself around her ribs. She’d practically run out of the hotel room, barely managing to keep the tears at bay in the back of the uber. She hadn’t even made it to her bedroom, breaking down in the middle of her living room floor as everything that had happened the night before -seeing Paige with someone else, being with someone else- hit her like an avalanche. Azzi doesn’t know how long she’d sat in a sobbing mess on the floor but at some point she must have fallen asleep, because her next memory is Colleen towering over her, a look of pure concern on her bestfriend’s face as she shook her awake. And then she was crying again, this time wrapped in the comfort of Colleen’s arm as she let the regret of all her mistakes -from the past and the present- flow down her cheeks.
All she’d wanted after, was to just forget about the night -forget the image of Paige kissing a stranger, forget the image of herself walking up next to a stranger- and for a little while, the world had even granted her that wish. That was until a mandatory pre-season checkup had given her news that would make sure she’d never forget that night.
“Azzi?” Tristan clicks his fingers in front of her face to get her attention, “you still with me?”
Azzi shakes her head, trying to come back to reality instead of staying lost in her mind. Taking a deep breath, she finally puts into words the truth that has become the epicenter of her world.
“I’m pregnant.”
Tristan stares at her with a shell-shocked look on his face, his eyes unblinking and wide as his mouth slowly morphs into a ‘O’ shape, “you’re- you’re pregnant?”
“Yes,” Azzi nods, her tone shifting from nervous into something more businesslike, “and before you ask, yes it’s definitely yours. But you don’t have to feel pressured to be involved beyond whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m more than financially capable of taking care of a child by myself and I’m very lucky to have a great support system in my friends and family so I’m not depending on you for any-”
“You’re keeping it?” Tristan cuts her off, sounding almost disbelieving that, that was the choice she was making.
Azzi stops at his words, tongue darting out to wet her lips. She’d gone back and forth with the decision from the minute she’d found out. Most of the factors in Azzi’s life pointed towards an abortion being the best thing for her. She was an athlete at the beginning of the peak of her career and she was only 25 years old, a young adult who’d just started this journey of life. For all her responsibleness, Azzi was still figuring out how to take care of herself. How could she possibly take care of a baby?
She’d been just about to call Dr. Myers when instead her phone had opened to the instagram app; Paige’s engagement announcement the first thing on her feed.
There’d been a thousand and one emotions that burst through Azzi but she’d fixated specifically one of them; loneliness. It was a ridiculous thing to feel for a girl whose family had moved across the country for her; whose best friend had become her manager and followed her to a brand new state. But Azzi felt it every time she was alone, sometimes even when she was surrounded by hundreds of people. She was so fucking lonely.
And that’s when she’d decided she wanted this baby, a baby she could love and a baby who’d love her back, a baby who would fill this aching whole in her heart. A baby that would be hers.
Azzi would never be lonely again.
“Yes,” she answers Tristan’s question without a hint of hesitation, “I’m keeping the baby.”
“Wow- okay- this is- sorry,” Tristan shakes his head, his previous casual demeanour having changed to something far more rigid, “this is just- it’s a lot to process.”
“I understand,” Azzi says gently, “take your time.”
Tristant stares down at the table for what feels like an eternity and when he looks up, well, Azzi doesn’t really know the man in front of her at all- hasn’t even had the chance to ask him his last name, but she knows what the guilt in his eyes means. She remembers seeing it when she’d met her own biological father, only once, only for an hour and never again but a snapshot of it has been saved to her brain ever since.
“I’m sorry,” he says, standing up from the table, “I can’t do this. I’m not ready to be a father. I can’t have a baby. Fuck me. I’m barely an adult. I can’t take care of a child. I’m sorry, I just- I can’t.”
“I understand,” Azzi replies clinically even though her stomach lurches a little at the rejection, at the realization that her child would grow up with the ever-present question of why didn’t he stay, just like she had.
Azzi hadn’t called Tristan for lunch with the intent of getting anything out of it. The plan had simply been to do her due diligence by telling the father of her child that she was pregnant. After that, the decision would be in his hands and she’d made peace with the fact this -what had just happened- could be one of the outcomes. She hadn’t come here under the guise of reconnecting, finding a husband or any of that, not when, even thinking of any of that -despite the fact that Paige is engaged to someone else- feels a little bit like cheating. But Tristan's response still stings.
Because he might not have been her first option to raise a child with-really she’d only ever wanted any of that with one person- but Azzi thinks if he’d wanted to try, she would’ve liked having a partner to watch her child grow up with
“I’m sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry,” Tristan repeats again as he starts to back away, “I wish you-” his eyes flicker down to her stomach, “I wish both of you the best.”
Azzi nods, “thank you,” and the words of gratitude are for a little more than just his best wishes.
Tristan pauses for one second, hesitating as he looks at Azzi's belly one more time with an indecipherable emotion in his eyes, something a little like regret. But it’s not enough to make him stay and Azzi watches, with a hand on her stomach, as he turns walks out of the restaurant. Through the window, she watches him walking down the street, getting smaller and smaller until he rounds the curb, disappearing out of sight. And Azzi lets out a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding.
“Oh,” her head snaps towards the waitress, who’s carrying two plates of food and looking awkwardly at Tristan’s abandoned seat, “your uh- your friend- where is he?”
“He’s gone,” Azzi says quietly.
“Is he coming back?”
“No,” Azzi shakes her head, “no, I don’t think he is.”
***
May 2033
The memory burns against the back of Azzi’s eyelids as she lies, wide awake, in Paige’s guest room with Stephie tightly snuggled against her chest. She’s not sure what exactly had triggered the memory because honestly, she doesn’t think about Stephie’s father -her sperm donor to be more accurate- that often. He’d existed for a mere second in the clock of her life, disappearing almost as fast as he’d appeared. But there’s a part of Azzi that will always be thankful to him, because he’s part of the reason she has this beautiful little girl who’s sleeping in her arms.
A little girl who she loves and who loves her back, a little girl who’d filled the aching hole in her heart. A little girl, that was hers.
And Azzi hasn’t been lonely ever since she’d been handed her little girl.
Until tonight.
Her eyes drift to the other side of the bed and she can’t help but focus on just how empty it looks, can help but be immersed in the feeling of something’s missing. It’s the first night in weeks that the other side of the bed isn’t filled and everything about it feels so fucking wrong. Azzi sighs, resting her cheek on Stephie’s head as she rubs her hand up and down the little girl’s shoulder. She can’t sleep and she knows -by the little telltale frown on her daughter’s face- that the little girl might be asleep, but it’s the kind that’s deeply troubled.
She’s just about to close her eyes for another unsuccessful attempt at letting her exhaustion lull her into a slumber, when she hears the sound of footsteps right outside her door. Azzi rises up slowly, gently disentangling herself from Stephie as she squints through the little gap between the door and the floor. It doesn’t take a genius to know who it is and Azzi’s heart thumps anticipation as she watches the shadow of feet pacing back and forth. Suddenly they disappear and disappointment -even it’s ridiculous to feel it after the events of the night- courses through Azzi. Sighing to herself again, she lays back down, closing her eyes.
A minute later they shoot open at the sound of the door being pushed and Azzi sits back up again, something like relief -something like i’m so glad you’re here, i'm so glad you came back please don’t ever go again- rushing into her veins. It takes a second for her eyes to adjust to the sight of the figure in the dark but once they do, Paige is practically illuminated by the moonlight streaking through the windows. The blonde looks at her, not a speckle of shock at the fact that she’s awake because Paige knows her, knows her the way Azzi had known Paige was awake too, knows that they’d never been particularly good at falling asleep after an argument.
“Can’t sleep,” Paige admits out loud in a whisper, nervously shuffling her feet by the doorway.
“Me neither,” Azzi confesses, her hands brushing through Stephie’s hair.
Their revelations -and the i can’t sleep because i can’t sleep without you hidden behind them- hang in the air, waiting for the two of them to say anything else as they stare at each other in the dark room.
Paige speaks first, stumbling towards the bed, “can I just-”
“Yes,” Azzi breathes out before the question’s even finished, “please.”
Despite the urgency in their words, Paige is slow, climbing into bed, like she’s waiting for Azzi to take it back. The blonde slips underneath the covers, her hands immediately moving to rub Stephie’s back where they collide against Azzi’s fingers and that lightest bit of contact elicits a breathy gasp from both of them. There’s so much still left to say, so much still left to fix, so much they’re not sure can be fixed, but as Azzi slowly lies back down, her fingers interlocking with Paige’s over Stephie’s tiny body, she thinks that she might not survive, if these fleeting moments don’t lead to forever.
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your warmth
yandere!txt when you take care of them
warnings: yandere themes ofc, mentioned violence and kidnapping :)
! Choi Yeonjun
— before Yeonjun could even call out to you his vision suddenly became black and the last he heard was a thump. Once he regained his consciousness again, he noticed that he was not lying on the hard floor but instead, on the couch with damp towel on his forehead. He tried sitting up but there was a weight on his stomach preventing him from doing so, when he looked down to see what it was, he’s heart immediately warmed up to what he saw. There sitting on the floor was your sleeping figure leaning against his stomach. He carefully lifted you up to lie in his chest. While lying there with you he also noticed the now cold soup and tea on the coffee table. Yeonjun’s smile got wider, his cheeks now flushed from your efforts as the thought of you finally returning his affections made him giddy.
! Choi Soobin
— while cooking Soobing accidentally cut himself, the wound was quite deep and at least an inch long. Normally Soobin would’ve assessed this situation calmly but you suddenly sprung up from where you were sitting, the sound of the chair being dragged on the floor made Soobin flinch in surprise as he turned to look at you. He watched as you rushed to check on his wound and when you were done you immediately put the wound under running water, grabbed a tissue, then wrapped it around the cut before zooming off to find the first aid kit. Soobin watched you do all of this with adoration absolutely dripping from his eyes. When you finally found the first, you guided him to sit with you and began treating his wound. While blowing on his wound, he suddenly captured your lips into a passionate kiss to hopefully convey his unsaid affections for you. “Thank you.” Soobin softly said when he pulled away, still looking into your eyes then stroking your cheeks with his free hand.
! Choi Beomgyu
— Beomgyu had sprained his ankle while chasing after you when you tried to escape earlier. Then, at night while sleeping with in your bedroom with him, you noticed his ankle was swollen and glowing a painful red, so carefully you removed his grip from you and went to the bathroom. there you grabbed a medicated heating patch and an ointment. You went to the bedroom then slowly removed the comforter that was covering Beomgyu, with light hands you put the ointment on the areas where it was swollen then securely putting the patch, making sure to put it where it looked like it hurt the most. after making sure that everything looked okay you went back to Beomgyu’s then slept soundly without ever knowing that he was awake the whole time. without ever knowing that he was smiling and enjoying the whole time. without ever knowing that he held you tighter in your sleep while whispering sweet nothings to your ears.
! Kang Taehyun
— you noticed that Taehyun was distant these past few days, completely contrasting his usual clingy demeanor, you also noticed that he’s been taking more naps and massaging his temples more often. when the both of you were lounging in the living room, his head in your lap, his eyes closed but no intentions of sleeping. You reached for the vapor rub, put a little on your fingers then began lightly massaging his temples with your other hand alternating with massaging his scalp and nape. Taehyun was shocked with sudden light massages but he was too tired to care so he just laid there savoring your touches. while his eyes were closed he started to remember your first weeks with him. you looked at him with nothing but disgust and anger, you even recoil at his presence but now here you were initiating such an intimate moment and he couldn’t be more content with that.
! Huening Kai
— normal day Kai was clingy, cold stuffy nose kai was even MORE clingy but he couldn’t be with you since he was afraid of you catching his cold and the thunder outside was not helping with his situation. Kai was shivering in his sleep when you opened the door, carrying a tray that has his medicine, a medicated cold forehead patch, a cold damp towel, and tea. You gently tapped in shoulder to wake him up a bit. He was still drowsy and his eyes were barely open but he was awake. You then removed the previous patch in his forehead and replaced it with a new one. You picked up the towel then gently cleaned his exposed arms and face, after that you made him drink his medicine then washed it down with the tea you made him. “ Why are you doing this?” he asked with his hoarse voice instead of you answering you just shush him and slid under the covers with him. When you finally settled into a comfy position with him, Kai’s head on your chest letting him be the little spoon, was when you answered his question, “It was too cold to be alone tonight and i know youre afraid of thunderstorms.” Your hushed voice lulling him to sleep with a full fuzzy heart.
#txt#tomorrow by together#txt imagines#txt scenarios#txt reactions#txt x reader#choi yeonjun#choi soobin#choi beomgyu#kang taehyun#hueningkai#yeonjun x reader#soobin x reader#beomgyu x reader#taehyun x reader#kai x reader#yandere#yandere txt#hi hello im not sure if im back at tumblr but enjoy this post :>>
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hey honey can i request a shy!reader x grumpy!eddie , maybe they’re pumpkin picking with friends & something angsty ensues but then fluffy & after they all go eat at the diner and get spooky themed orders 🤭
thanks for requesting lovie! — eddie gets grumpy on a fall outing with the gang (shy!reader, established relationship, hurt/comfort, 1.3k)
fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
Eddie’s a big ol’ grump at Eugene’s Pumpkin Patch, but he’s being really brave about it. He follows you like a puppy, visibly unamused about the whole thing but trying hard to be a good boyfriend despite his woe.
“Ah! Look at this one!” you gasp at the sight of a pumpkin, in a sea of bright orange pumpkins.
Swallowed whole by your sweater, you crouch in the tall grass and reach for the tiny round thing hidden in it. The runt pumpkin sits neatly in your palms. “It’s so wittle,” you singsong up at Eddie in a tiny, high-pitched voice.
He smiles despite himself, laughing even though he’s grumpy, ‘cause you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen.
“I’m gonna get this one,” you announce affirmatively when you rise to full height again.
“You made me drive an hour out just to get the tiniest pumpkin they have?” Eddie asks, laughing still but with a subtle bite of annoyance.
You try to ignore it, though the weight of his aggravation makes you writhe. “But it’s cute…” you defend with a weak shrug. “And also, you have to get one, remember?”
You take a tentative step towards Eddie, standing chest to chest. He huffs and puts his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. His chocolate eyes flit around the expansive farm, dull and unimpressed. “They all look the same, so… I don’t think it really matters.”
“It does matter!” you insist, girlish and quiet and stubborn. “You have to pick the one you like the most— that’s the whole point!”
“You’re telling me there’s an art to pumpkin picking?” the boy teases with a crooked grin, tilting his head to the side so his curls bunch at his shoulder.
Still clutching the tiniest pumpkin either of you have ever seen, you nod. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”
He scoffs again in a curt laugh. He looks around again, only to point to the one sitting by his feet.
“Alright… How about that one?”
“Eddie!”
“What?” he whines in the same pouty tone as you.
“Can you at least pretend you’re having fun?” you murmur, a bit sad you have to even ask.
You always spiral when he gets weird, secretly terrified that it’s all your fault. He doesn’t talk, so you overthink. Your brain gets mean, and you need Eddie to make you feel better — but he can’t because he’s weird. It’s unbearable. For both of you.
“It’s cold and rainy and Steve’s pants gave me a headache on the way over and I don’t feel good, okay? I’m sorry,” Eddie rambles with a pout, looking visibly pained about all of it.
Any excitement you had left leaves you like an ebbing tide. “Okay,” you mutter with a soft nod.
“I’m gonna go smoke,” the boy announces.
He smacks a fleeting kiss to your cheek before he goes but doesn’t bother to invite you to come with him. He doesn’t feel very deserving of your company right now, too selfish in his woe and painfully self-aware about it.
You stand in place while he walks back to the van, feeling utterly alone and unwanted.
“Where’d Eddie go?” Steve wonders when he walks up to you with Robin at his side.
They carry two pumpkins each, struggling with each of them because they’ve somehow managed to find the biggest ones on the whole farm. You figure they made a bet about it because everything’s a competition with them.
“Um… to smoke, I think,” you answer shyly, embarrassed to have been found alone for a reason you can’t name. “He just kinda… left.”
Robin scoffs. “I think he’s on his period,” she jokes with a gritty laugh.
“Yeah. He said my pants looked stupid before we left. I knew something was up.”
The brunette girl side-eyes the boy beside her. “I think he might’ve been right about that one, Stevie.”
You make a quiet exit when they begin to bicker back and forth. You duck through the bustling pumpkin patch and try not to trip in the tall grass on your way to Eddie’s van.
Your boots crunch over the gravel of the parking lot. You find him leaning against the trunk, blowing out smoke from his pink mouth, slouching like he’s weighed down by his own sadness.
“You okay, Eds?” you ask to announce your arrival.
His eyes widen when he realizes you’re there. He’d pretend to be fine if it didn’t take all the energy he had left. “No,” he answers honestly, then quickly corrects, “I mean— I am, but… I feel bad. I was acting like a dick…”
“Yeah,” you concur with a nod. “You were.”
He’s too shocked to hide it on his face. You’re never normally so confrontational. You’re usually too quiet for that, too soft. And you still are now, because you always are, but he feels like he deserves to see this sterner side of you.
“But it’s okay. I know you didn’t wanna come in the first place.”
He turns on his shoulder when you stand at his side, towering over you as he flicks the butt of his cigarette. “Yeah, but… I didn’t have to be such an asshole to you about it. I feel like I fuckin’ ruined this whole day, you know?”
“We all have our moments, Eds. It’s no big deal,” you assure with a weak shrug and a stronger smile. “We still have the whole afternoon left— you didn’t ruin anything. Doesn’t make me love you any less, either.”
Your words make him grin. Like, really grin — all wide and rosy and boyish. You make him smile like nothing’s ever hurt him. Like nothing’s ever been wrong in his life. Fuck, he’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.
“I love the shit outta you, you know that?” he mumbles but doesn’t give you a chance to answer. He tosses the cigarette to the ground and snuffs it out with his sneaker right before kissing you absolutely stupid.
He wraps his arms around your neck, smothering your face with his. No one’s ever been kissed as hard as he’s kissing you now. The realization makes you smile too wide to kiss him back.
He pulls away from you with a hearty smack. With pinker lips and chocolate eyes, he grins hopefully down at you. “So you’re not mad at me?” he wonders, gentle like a child.
“Yes,” you nod, playfully firm. “I’m very mad, actually.”
Eddie’s smile widens. He knows you’re joking and decides to lean into it. “What can I do then, huh?” he murmurs lowly to you, a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “How can I make it up to you?”
He wants to kiss you again. He wants to get you in the back of his van in a vacant parking lot. He wants you to tell him to make you feel good and not to stop until you’re pushing him away.
You know all of this, ‘cause you can practically read his mind, so you decide to drive him crazier. “I want you…” you start in the same low tone, bordering on sultry.
Eddie’s already nodding.
You smile and continue.
“…To go pick your most favorite pumpkin in the whole patch, and then take me to Benny’s Burgers.”
Feeling slightly disappointed and utterly teased, Eddie searches the entire patch and finds the weirdest-shaped, wartiest pumpkin the earth has ever grown. He drives the gang to the diner after and sits you in his lap when all of you squeeze into one booth.
He shares his milkshake with you and lets you have the pickle slice that comes with his burger when you ask for it (‘cause everyone knows it’s the best part). It’s the purest form of love, if he has anything to say about it.
#published by bug#eddie munson x reader#stranger things x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#stranger things#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfiction#st drabbles#eddie spaghetti drabble#event: fictober!
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