#the texts also made me a little sad

[ashfordlabs]

2, 6, and 9 for the oc tech game!

thank you for the ask <33 you're very lucky with this because this is probably the biggest look into mayumi's life before her death, so this was fun.

2: what’s on their lock screen? / mayumi's the type to have her own art as her lockscreen, most probably a silhouette of dorothea that she hasn't found it in her to change. 6: write out a text exchange between them and another oc. / i struggled with who to have this with. but i think this one with henry that's their last exchange together before mayumi's death (like a week or so) is a good one. MS: can you tell your sister that i don't want to see her anymore? THE DUMB TWIN: are you THE DUMB TWIN: i'm sorry THE DUMB TWIN: you're breaking off your little agreement with thea THE DUMB TWIN: through her twin brother? MS: it's not like we were dating, dumbass. MS: can you just do it? i don't want to talk to her. THE DUMB TWIN: oh THE DUMB TWIN: i know what this is about THE DUMB TWIN: yeah, i can do that for you MS: thanks chicken. MS: you take care. THE DUMB TWIN: you too 9: what are their most frequently used emojis? / ❤🥰🖕

tech themed ask!

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[blushblushbear]

*lies on the ground*

...I want a silly goose boy...

....or a duck

[thedrotter]

as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit

it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now

[bayofwolves]

i love the tellun i've made up in my head, the reclusive, gentle soul who could never be found by any human, who has no higher standing than his fellows because the great beasts are all equal, who changed his mind about the first devourer war and would have fought alongside the four had he not arrived too late, who was wracked with immeasurable guilt for letting them fall and wandered the wilds of stetriol for 500 years afterwards, who appeared to conor, abeke, meilin and rollan in a sad state of ruin, fur dull, head hanging low, all manner of plants hopelessly tangled in his antlers, with no light left in his eyes. why couldn't the four heroes have encountered a great beast who had fallen from greatness? why couldn't any of these god-like beasts have felt lasting, debilitating shame for their complacency in the deaths of their siblings, for their failure to protect the world they had sworn to? why couldn't tellun have been plagued with guilt so intense he hid himself away until he saw his prophecy fulfilled? why couldn't he have lingered at their gravesite until he laid eyes on them once again, reborn?

[thebirdandhersong]

the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon

[spoonyruncible]

I'm not gatekeeping, I just have some gates and I've sort of vaguely known they're there, I haven't kept them and the hinges are so rusty i doubt they'd close if I tried. But, like, for ages all that came through those gates were stray geese and a dog I think belongs to a neighbor but might just belong to himself and of course there's the hunching afflicted wrathbeast. That's just having a garden. Things grow there and random folks stumble in sometimes, mispronounce the names of my favorite varietals, say stunningly inaccurate things about them, and wander bemusedly back out.

As a surprise to probably no one I was a deeply lonely child. No one really got me or what my deal was, so when I found something I loved it was mine and mine alone to treasure. As I got older I found other people who liked 'my' things. Some of those people were horrible! But there was a kinship and it was okay to be a bit horrible so long as we could be odd together. Gardens are resilient things, they tolerate mistakes and abuse. It's absolutely wonderful to share, to dance to the same music, that imperfection becomes part of the joy of it, becomes a unique thing unto itself.

So imagine my shock when there is a garden party that rapidly becomes a festival. No one has ever really been here before, it's been me and the geese and that one dog and a few other weirdos. Suddenly my things, things people beat me for loving, are things everyone loves. All at once the landscape is unrecognizable and if I acknowledge that then I'm being a hipster. I don't mind the festival, it's nice, now it's much easier to get things I need without having to put on my trekking gear and hike out to the one obscure location that has The Supplies. It's not bad, it's just weird. It feels like there is something wrong with me instead of something wrong about liking what I like.

I'm not really talking about one specific thing here, there have been a lot of these moments where what used to be unusual or even shameful is now the big thing. And it's good, it's can be great sometimes even with the unforeseen bizarre bad parts. But there is this selfish little part of me that wants to cling to my unloved love, to put a raggedy LP on a barely working record player and lay on the wooden floor of my childhood home staring at a painting of a ship in a storm that is right beside a picture of a young man in a cap and a too large jacket and listen to sea shanties belted out by people not very good at singing while I drift and drift and drift away on the sound and the whitecaps to a place where there is only this. I love the new versions like a drowning man loves air, I am happy that people have found this beautiful thing and can enjoy it, but there is a tinge to it I don't like. A prick of pain every time I see this joy over my joy, over my joy that I was punished for, humiliated for, shamed for. I'm glad people can love these things without suffering but it makes my suffering seem so fucking stupid.

There is a certain temptation, a bitter agony, that makes me want to hiss like an abused cat and cling jealous to my silly little toys. It's not that I want them all for myself, it's that I can't let go of that little kid with a bruisy eye sulking because no one wants to play with him. It's the whisper of, "We can be friends but only in secret. I don't want people to know I'm like you." It's the enthusiasm that rapidly becomes muted because the whole world is demanding to know why you can't just be normal for once. But that same temptation to lash out is the one that makes me reach out my hand instead, especially to people who are like, "Wow! I've never been to a garden before. I'm gonna screw this up. How do I not screw it up?" because now they're that bruisy eyed kid no one wants to play with. I can't protect the person I used to be by becoming the exact thing that hurt me. Gotta keep the gate open, gotta get used to new things even if it takes noise cancelling headphones and an entirely rational amount of backsliding, gotta wake up every day and keep trying even though the world keeps throwing curveballs that no sane person could anticipate. It's all okay. We're in this together and we're all gonna be okay,

[deviousdiesel]

.

[catominor]

This Years Thoughts On Reading. tbh

the past year i read a lot more than i had in quite some time. to be fair, i didn't finish most of the books i started, didn't start most of the books i want to read, and spent most of my time wasting time on social media still (i don't know why i can't stop doing this. i don't even enjoy it past a certain point). i didn't do well in my university classes. but for a really long time i've found it very difficult to read at all, even to read fiction. i read a lot of fiction (by my standards) this year, especially historical fiction set in ancient rome (though i also read some other good books, favorites among which are probably queer by william burroughs, night side of the river by jeannette winterson, and invisible cities by italo calvino. i also read quite a few short stories and a bit of poetry), i read or started /some/ nonfiction, i read or started /some/ ancient literature, and i had a poem and a short story published in my university's poetry journal and newspaper respectively...

but, really, i feel a little in over my head. i don't really feel like i can do this, by which i mean i still don't think i'm trying hard enough at university. i feel behind everyone else, despite the fact that since i've transferred to a different university having done 2 years before, i still have this and another year before i graduate. even though most of the people in my year will be 2 years younger than me i feel like i am behind them (did i mention that i did badly on my exams last year?)

especially before university i was never a particularly good student, honestly (i was like. a C average, though in my 3rd and 4th years of high school i started to try a little harder) and i think i spend a lot of time now fruitlessly wishing that i had tried harder and taken more of an interest in things. i still wish i tried harder. i still wish that passion was enough to fuel me to actually focus on filling out my historical reading. i wish i just didn't feel so stupid sometimes, honestly. sometimes i'll open a book that's a bit dense or technical and it just makes me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. i wish i was better at articulating my thoughts. i also wish i understood literary analysis or criticism. in a lot of ways now i feel dumber than i was a few years ago, and i don't know why.

[orcelito]

Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

[sudokuplayer]

i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be

[scionshtola]

it is so hard for me not to post every single thought i have on here the moment i have it

[dancing-with-stars]

guys. guys !!!!

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

nothing like being sick at home with covid for a second time and scrolling through instragram just to see that my two closest irl friends ended up getting engaged one after the other 👍🏻

[vargaslovinghours]

Gosh I am so in love with the dating sim idea <33

Partially because I'm interested in computer programming and partially because, like, the ✨dynamics✨ man!!

The idea of Scriabin internally struggling between "I don't *hate* this person" and "This person trying to steal Edgar from me >:0" is just asdf-

What type of endings would there be?

Could you befriend one/both and not go as far as dating?

Could you date both?

Also love love love the UI concept art so much like the yarn-themed dialogue box and hearts system is so creative aaa

Sorry if this is a lot of questions just <333 going feral over this concept <33

Haha no no, no problem at all ♪ We’re both on the same page here, I love the design side of games, backend stuff is super fascinating to me ♫ Plus I just super love the idea of them in a Dating Sim ah ♥

It sounds like a whole heap’a your questions are answered in my first post in the Dating Sim tag :D

However, since I have The Most fun imagining what it’d be like to write/play a Vargas Dating Sim, I will take this opportunity to talk about it more lol:

As you can see in the Endings flow chart, yes, there are a bunch of different endings, all based on the ✨dynamics✨ that the Player pursues with each of the Vargases. In my current draft there’s not a way to date both exactly - at least, you can’t date both behind the other’s back, they will always be generally aware of the relationship status the other has with the Player, Scriabin moreso than Edgar, but Scriabin can’t help but gloat and they talk in their own scenes, so Edgar still knows. You can positively pursue both of them though, which leads to its own ending!

(You can keep both of them at ~5 ♥s and under, but that will still culminate in the Neutral Ending; at least one of them has to be at 7+ ♥s to get a different Positive ending; so, yes but no but also yes??)

You can also deepen your relationship with one over the other! Those, of course, lead to the Bad and Worst Endings, who could’ve guessed :3c Those are some of my favourites, because who’s “Bad” ending it is really depends on the perspective - the Bad (Edgar) Ending is one of Scriabin’s better Endings, as far as his manipulation and possessiveness is concerned. It’s definitely a Bad Ending for the Player tho lol

While the Best Ending doesn’t get as messed up as the Bad Endings (I mean - ideally lol), there is still definitely a lot of tumultuous emotions! They have to share the Player with each other, and each other with the Player, at least to better get to know each other! Scriabin isn’t the only one who feels possessive, even in routes where the player gets closer to Edgar there are still a lot of mixed feelings about being away from Scriabin, even as he starts to get more violent. They’re always weird about each other, they’re the ultimate package deal! 💕

[juniestar]

My psych says I don’t like my mom or my ex because they make me vulnerable but I think it’s because they are/were both serial boundary violators. Well serial boundary violators sounds serious but I mean they are just good kind people who would not leave me alone when i ask(ed)