#the teacher said it was the hardest exam

[toomanysubcultures]

guys i might be turning into a math and social studies girlie instead of being a science and english girlie

[huellitaa]

girl's guide to academic success: ep 1! ⊹˚. ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 this post focuses on: actively rooting for success! ♡ part 2 -> ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. organisation

first off, have something to organise ur academic life with! i personally use notion (which i'll add later) but u can use anything as long as it's cute, convenient, unique and accessible to you, your life and your schedule specifically. especially as a visual learner, i like to have somewhere i can dump literally everything regarding a singular area in my life, so i do this for almost everything along with school and i highly recommend this <3

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. recognition of talents & improvements

analyse your strengths and weaknesses. think back on tests, exams, marks, and analyse which ones you got highest and lowest on. dont beat urself up for it, obviously; it's just to check which subjects you're doing good in and which ones have room for improvement. for example i love science but im not the best at it sometimes and we had an assessment recently and i didn't get as high as i'd like so i wrote down a little list on a piece of paper in my pencilcase for the topics i got the least in for me to study on my own to practise later.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. laying out goals

set down specific goals; i like to do this week by week accustomed to my schedule that week in my school notion page along with images and vision boards based on the term/semester, but you can do it for the week, the month, the year, anything as long as its helpful to you

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. productive planning

plan accordingly based on ur time energy. when creating any to do list or productivity plan dont pile a ridiculous amount onto it that just leaves you stressed and overwhelmed because that defeats the entire point; this works the same for academic plans and goals and lists etc.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. extra credit

put extra work in to the subjects you know will help you in the future. for example, for my personal aspirations i need to excel in english, history and textiles so i always try my absolute hardest and put my all into those lessons and do extra studying for them in my free time where i can. school is to prepare you for the future so take advantage of that

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. asking questions

please don't be shy to ask questions! that's what teachers are there for and you won't have them forever so take advantage of it while you can! you can even do it in that little window of time just after class if ur too nervous to ask in class. for example, on my last english exam i went to my teacher after class and asked about what i needed to improve on to get the marks i missed next time, and he told me i added too much detail and some other things so i wrote it down and am keeping a note of it to remind me to improve on that next time! (i got top of my class though so i didnt mind. still kind of pissed i added too much detail though)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. participation

participate! ok im saying this as someone who still struggles with social anxiety a fair amount but if u wanna get higher marks and get on good terms w ur teacher i 100% recommend this. i don't do this in every class but i do it where i can and when i'm confident in my answer, and it's really intimidating at first but what i did is i did it first in the classes i felt most comfortable on and continued from there. it gets easier every time i swear, and nobody's judging you; they'll forget about it after five minutes. plus, what would they be judging you for? being smarter than them?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. prioritising ur health

this is mentioned a lot in these types of posts but if you're tired or burnt out or overworked or just feel like you need to take a break then do. do the best you can and compromise like i said earlier if you need to, just make sure u are prioritising yourself over anything. <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀inspo

──★ ˙ ̟🎀my notion

i also really recommend this layout by @honeytonedhottie ♡

all my love 🩷✨💬🎀💗

[nishloves]

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘;

choi seungcheol x f! reader (school au) genre : angst, fluff, childhood sweethearts, miscommunication words : 6k synopsis : both of them are just a pile of hot and unconfident messes. warnings : curse words unedited.

you sometimes sit still and wonder, was it all in your imagination? you sometimes smile at the fond recollections, of the way he would twirl your hair between his fingers whenever you would be taking notes, you smiled at the ways you both would play around the dining table of his house, giggling and screaming as his mother would cook up delicious snacks for you both— she would pat your head and urge you to eat more as you'd retort and say that you're full. you remember the way he would throw you on his back and push you down on the sofa or the bed to steal your belongings. you chuckle as you remembered the way his smile would falter the moment you had to go, promising him that you would come back sooner. although you never did, your visits to his house lessened over time and are non-existent now.

it was all in the past after all.

yet you still very clearly remembered the day you had met him.

"seungcheol!" the teacher had called out to him as you stared at him with wide eyes, all the students of class excited for the newest arrival to their class.

"yes ma'am?" the third grader looked up to his teacher and then his eyes fell on yours, a warm smile marking it's way on his face.

"help y/n to get settled in the class."

"yes ma'am!"

the children beamed at you as you blushed, your hands a little clammy as you looked around the colourful classroom, it was painted pink and green with numerous sketches pinned up on the walls, the educomp barking in robotic voice as seungcheol approached you.

"hello y/n," he smiled at you and took your hand, "sit next to me first!"

you grinned, you knew that you were going to befriend him at that moment.

"you still haven't finished those chapters?" seungcheol exclaimed as you looked at him sheepishly.

"i didn't have time to write the answers—"

"you had to take admission like three weeks before exams, didn't you?" seungcheol groaned as he pulled your notebook towards himself, your brows scrunched up, what was he doing?

"come on, I'll help you write, you have to work on english too, right?" he said as your eyes widened.

it was the activity day at school! he would have to miss all those fun things for helping you!

"you don't need to do it, seungcheol—"

"but I want to," the third grader grinned at you as he opened your notebook and started copying notes from his notebook.

"seungcheol—"

"y/n! come on! start writing your english notes now!" he commanded as you nodded at him hesitantly, your heart full of warmth as you pulled a chair beside him, trying your hardest to finish your work as soon as possible so that he could go and enjoy the activity day— and not be stuck helping you, until a teacher approached you both.

"what are you doing?"

"pending work, ma'am," seungcheol replied on both of your behalf as you looked up at the teacher.

"you have pending work, seungcheol?"

"not mine, ma'am— hers."

"then let her do her work by her own self, why are you doing her work?" the teacher said as she tried to snatch your copy away from seungcheol but, he didn't let her.

"no ma'am, let me help her!"

"you're missing your activities though."

"it's fine, ma'am;" he looked at you, a warm smile on his face, "she would feel lonely and didn't you say that we should always help people?"

"i did but—"

"so let me help her, please?" the young boy gazed up at his teacher, his eyes twinkling with happiness as the lady sighed, "alright, go ahead."

you silently gazed at the boy, no one had ever stuck up for you like that.

"you didn't have to do that, cheol."

"why?" he looked at you, his lips in a pout, "i want to help you and stay with you."

heat rushed to your cheeks as a grateful smile framed your face, you were glad that he was your friend.

"thankyou cheol," you whispered as the boy pulled your cheeks, "just let me pull your cheeks."

you groaned but you complied nonetheless, he was your first friend in this new school afterall.

"they are calling out to you—"

"let them, i would rather sit here," seungcheol said, leaning on the sofa as he grinned at you.

"why though—"

"it's my party, i will sit wherever I want, plus it's also hard to meet you at school these days after our classes were shuffled," the fifth grader smiled at you as he pushed his newly gifted videogame towards you, "look at this though! isn't it very cool?"

you stared at the game in your hands, a grin spreading on your face as you replied, "yeah! it looks very cool!"

"play it for me," he smiled at you as you flinched.

seungcheol was notorious for not sharing his toys; hell his mother was complaining about it just a few minutes ago, did his demeanor change this soon?

"you haven't even played with it yet," you smiled as you passed his videogame back to him.

"so what? play it for me, so that I can observe you and win it easily when i play it myself—" his eyes twinkled, "i bet my high score will be better than yours."

that did it for you as you pulled the game from his grasp and tried to play it with as much concentration you could muster in that bustling birthday party of his. you both were living in your own world as his friends played among themselves, suddenly realising the missing birthday boy.

"seungcheol!" they called out to him as you both looked up.

"come here!"

"in a minute!"

seungcheol gazed back at you as you lightly nudged him to go towards his friends,

"will you be alright?" he asked, his eyes droopy as he stared at you.

"ofcourse!"

"you wouldn't feel out of place right?" he asked, his hand on your shoulder, "you're the only girl here among so many boys, plus they all are my friends— i don't want you to feel lonely," he said.

"i won't! i could make friends easily you know," you retorted as you sensed the videogame in your hands, "plus I also have this game if i feel bored, they are your friends! play with them! it's your party!"

he looked up at you and nodded wordlessly as he ran towards his friend, your heart dampened slightly but it didn't matter right? it was his party, he should enjoy it as much as he can.

seungcheol didn't let you feel alone for long though, in another five minutes he was right next to you, pulling you towards his group of friends.

"play with us!" he announced as he threw you on his back when you showed resistance. how the hell was he so strong?

"won't they feel weird?"

"they won't!" seungcheol grinned at you, "it's my party! they have to do as I say!"

you laughed as you played around the ten year olds, running around the garden as they tried to catch you with seungcheol helping you out here and there, you had never seen the boy smile so widely before and that day you had made sure, you will try to make him smile everyday— or whenever you both meet.

... that aged well, didn't it?

"y/n," seungcheol huffed as he stood next to you, tired out of his wits as his friends were leaving one by one; you were gonna leave later though.

"yes?"

"next time I will invite more girls of my class so that you don't feel alone," he said as you punched his arm, "you don't need to! your friends are great."

"I'm better though," he grinned at you as you rolled your eyes at him.

"y/n?"

"yeah?"

"you look pretty today," he flashed a blinding smile towards you as you could feel your face heat up yet you smiled effortlessly, "thankyou cheol."

"come to my party again," he smiled, waving you as you walked towards your ride, a small grin on your face as you looked back at him, "don't forget to invite me!"

"i would never." liar.

you left his house feeling elevated, you had made so many new friends and cheol's game was awesome, you couldn't wait to meet up with him and play the game again!

"did you have fun, sweetheart?" your mom asked as she hugged you, her heart filling with warmth as she saw the unmistakable smile on your face.

"i did mom! i had so much fun."

"do you feel good?"

"i feel amazing, mom!"

your teeth clattered as your fingers trembled at the backstage, you had taken part in a poetry recitation and composition competition, and hell you were nervous.

you repeatedly looked at your poem and tried to remember it as much as you can until you heard his voice startling you to reality.

"y/n?" he called out to you as he leaned towards you, his eyes fixated on your poem as you crumpled the paper in your hands,

"hey! you're a competitor," you grinned, pushing seungcheol away from you as he quirked up a brow, a cocky smile on his face as he said, "what? you think you will lose coz of me? the great y/n l/n who has never stepped out of the top three would lose because of me?"

you rolled your eyes as you simply stood next to seungcheol, you eyed at his poem,

"you write really well," you smiled, reading his admittedly good poem.

"thanks," he smiled at you as a boy from beside you both groaned, "so you let her look at your poem and not me? it's not like I'm going to copy your whole work in like two minutes! that too backstage."

seungcheol bantered with the guy as you laughed at them heartily but your hands were still shaking, were you really this nervous? you never had stage fright before!

or was it because it was the first time you were presenting a self-written poem in front of the whole school— you didn't know, but you were very nervous.

"y/n, hey," you heard your friend call out to you as he passed a small smile, "your poem is good too."

"you read it?"

"just a stanza," he smiled, his gaze far away on the stage as he looked back at you, "you will win."

you nudged his shoulder as you chuckled, "so the great seungcheol is admitting his defeat?"

he passed you a childlike grin, his gummy smile sending shivers up your spine as he lightly squeezed your hand, "it's alright if the one I'm losing to is you."

his words were like a chant to you, regularly spiralling in your head as you took the dais, "you will win." his voice repeated in your head as you took a deep breath in and your mouth opened.

everything was a blur, from your introduction to your recitation, yet the applause of the crowd was surreal, the way the teachers scrambled up to you to ask if you had actually written the poem by yourself was too flattering. but amidst all this, you wanted to know how did he think about it?

did he think you did well?

you missed his half of his recitation because of the crowd but, he was as good as always, the moment he finished you ran up to him a wide grin on your face as you beamed, "you did amazing!"

"really? you think so?"

"yeah! your voice control was amazing! and your vocabulary and flow was very apt too," you rambled on, telling him about everything you found amazing in his poem as he smiled at you, his eyes twinkling.

"i thought you were better."

seungcheol accepting that someone was better than him?

"i-i was?"

"yeah, i loved your poem, a lot."

a blush crept up to your cheeks as you looked away from him while cheol spoke up about how you will win. and he was right, because you did win. and he was the happiest about it.

"told you so," he grinned at you as you nudged his arm.

you smiled as you remembered, this was how the twelve year old y/n got over her rare stage fright.

"would you participate in the rj activity though?" he asked, his hands buried in his blazer as he walked next to you. the worst thing about private schools would be their unflattering uniforms for sure.

"what activity?"

"well, we have to pose as radio jockeys and perform a skit based on it."

"is it group wise?" you asked, your brows knitting up as seungcheol grinned at you.

"nope, house wise."

you laughed as you looked at him, "should we defeat them and leave them in dust?"

"aye aye captain."

both your and seungcheol's house was the same so you were a literal nightmare for others whenever you both teamed up, but your friends weren't any less, were they?

you remember seungcheol coming over to your home as you both happily worked on the script, skipping the classes as an excuse for preparing for activities and when the day came, you were sure that you'd win.

"y/n? should we get changed?" one of your teammates asked you as you nodded at her, as you said, the worse part about private schools was their uniform so it was a blessing whenever you could wear casual clothes at school.

you got ready as soon as possible, feeling happiest in your favorite pair of jeans and shirt as you stepped out of the changing room, only to find seungcheol and others waiting for you in your classes.

"just how long do you all take to get read— holy shit, y/n." the thirteen year old boy's lips sealed up as he gazed at you, he couldn't remember to snatch his gaze away from you until you smiled.

"cheol?" you asked, a teasing smile on your face as the boy looked away from you.

it wasn't meant for you to hear but you did,

"you really are very pretty."

and that's when you realised, you probably... probably didn't think of seungcheol as a friend anymore.

"mina," you looked at your best friend after the activity was finished a small blush on your face as you said, "I think... I like seungcheol."

oh? about the activity? you both won, easily.

you didn't want them to know, you didn't want him to know, you weren't ready for him to know!

"why did you tell them?" you asked your bestfriend as she just shrugged, "come on now, it's just them, they aren't gonna tell anyone! they promised to me."

"they did?"

"yeah! so don't worry now!"

apparently, promises meant nothing to eighth graders, why would they? soon the news about the great l/n's little crush on choi seungcheol spread around like a wildfire throughout the school. not even your class, throughout the school.

their incessant teasing was eating you up and even your best friend wasn't shutting up.

you had never felt so vulnerable in your whole life and you weren't able to deny it really— you seriously did like seungcheol... a lot.

but now, when you both were finally in the same class, you didn't have the courage to speak up to him, to talk to him.

you were cowardly enough to not even text him either.

"i don't think he likes you though," one of his friends said as he stood in front of you.

you smiled at him painfully, "yeah, i know... i don't think he likes me like that either."

but you didn't miss his lingering stares, his annoyed eyes whenever any guy would make you laugh, his bashful smiles whenever you both were teamed up for the projects.

but the howling of the whole class ruined it all, instead of relishing in the warmth of first love, you were buried in embarrassment of having your feelings known to the entire world, and it didn't seem like mina was going to stop talking about it.

yet you always sat with her, because after all, she was your best friend and everyone makes mistakes, so... it's fine right?

you still remember when the teachers had set you both and a few of your classmates up for a national film-making (documentary) competition, you huffed under the sunlight as seungcheol looked back at you, stretching his hand towards you, "come!" he said out as you held his hand, he pulled you over to help you sit on a bench next to him as he passed you a cold water bottle.

"don't walk so much if you're this tired."

"I'm fine," you huffed, gulping down the entire water bottle in one go.

"still can't accept it whenever you're wrong, can you?" he grinned at you as you scoffed, "i can! you're just wrong about me!"

"oh yeah?" he smiled at you as his brooch fell down while he groaned.

"this piece of shit just can't stay in one place, can it?" you looked at the fallen school brooch as you laughed at your old friend.

"you just don't know how to wear it."

"if you're so good then why don't you stick it for me?" he was challenging you, both of your intentions were pure, but would your classmates leave you alone?

you smiled as you picked up the brooch from the ground, pulling his tie towards you you attempted to slide the pin on the tie effortlessly.

click!

you heard the camera snap as you turned around, your cheeks hot as you realised your and his position as you better half of the classmates grinned at you.

at least they didn't spread the picture around.

things were better between you and seungcheol now, you both didn't care about the teasing and the friendly competition between you both had ignited again.

but you wondered, both of you knew about your feelings, you don't have to state them again, do you? so if he liked you... he would say something, right?

but the way he kept quiet around you— you sighed, you shouldn't think about it much, he just doesn't like you, that's it.

but one day, when you sat in front of those two girls, you couldn't take it anymore— they were literal bullies in your eyes, and so you snapped,

"i don't even like him!"

he heard it and you could see his big eyes widen further as he looked away from you, you didn't want him to hear it— you wanted to say that it was a lie, because it was! but the teasing had stopped... so you didn't even try to deny it.

you would text him, you assured yourself, but you never did. and soon valentine's day had made its arrival.

people were on their toes researching about your love life, it was as if your life was the soap opera which they had come to watch every single day.

you groaned as you walked away from them, too annoyed by their antics but you stopped in your tracks when you looked at mina and seungcheol talking to each other.

... it isn't good to spy right? you sighed as you walked away from them, if it was something related to you, mina would tell you, right?

"does she like me?" seungcheol asked mina, as he shuffled his feet, a pink hue dusted his cheeks as he looked at mina.

he didn't notice the way mina seethed with slight jealousy as she looked away from seungcheol.

"y/n? oh? didn't you hear? she just had a crush on you, she got over you like weeks ago."

seungcheol's heart stopped beating for a moment as he pursed his lips, his breath slightly shaky as he simply said, "oh... i really was... too late."

he just smiled at the girl and turned away, too hurt to want to look at his crush's bestfriend. he saw you happily chatting with one of your friends and he smiled, he hoped you were always as cheery as he was seeing you now.

"were you talking to seungcheol, mina?" you asked, a slight stutter to your words as your friend lazily looked up at you, "oh him? yeah I was."

"did he say something?"

mina look at you with pity as you could feel your world shatter at her next words, "I'm sorry y/n, he said that he likes me."

"oh..." oh. you should've just said what you wanted. maybe you were too late— maybe, you actually never had a chance.

you put up a smile in front of mina while your heartbeat fastened, "it's alright, you can't help people you like, huh."

"I guess so... I'm very sorry though."

"you don't need to be." you simply said as you turned towards your bus, ready to go back to home.

your mom knew that something was wrong when she saw your face.

"are you alright, sweetie?"

"i just... don't feel good, mom." you smiled at her before locking yourself in your room.

maybe if you both weren't a bunch of cowards, things would have been different then.

you couldn't talk to cheol anymore— not after you had heard that he liked your bestfriend out of everyone, not after you both had already severed your relationship because of teenage awkwardness.

the visits to his house stopped, you never texted him again, neither did he.

he knew about your feelings so why did he— why did he have to like her out of everyone?

you were a high-schooler now, yet the story of yours and seungcheol's was still the talk of the town, you were even more popular than before and you didn't enjoy it, you didn't enjoy it at all.

moving on from cheol was hard, but you would move on, it doesn't matter anymore.

yet you could feel your emotions weigh your down, eat at your insides, deplete your confidence.

but when you felt him glare at you, you couldn't help it.

"hey," you nudged your other friend, "was he glaring at me?" you asked as your friend looked at him.

"shit— it looks like he wants to kill you."

you scoffed out of disbelief, what did you even do? did mina reject him because you liked him? even if she did, it wasn't your fault? you wouldn't even care. liar.

"wait, someone asked me if you were in a long-distance relationship with someone a while ago."

"what?" you whipped your head towards your friend as she nodded at you, "something about jihoon?"

"but jihoon is just my friend! what were they saying?"

"something like... you've been dating him for about a year now?"

you gasped as you got up from your seat, you knew it was mina who had talked about it. you had talked about jihoon only to her.

you marched towards mina as you asked her, "are you the one spreading rumours about jihoon and i?"

"what rumours?"

"he's not my boyfriend, mina! he's just a friend!"

"you don't like him?"

"of course not! i just liked talking to him," you confronted her as she looked at you apologetically.

"I am sorry— many guys were asking if you're single so i told them about jihoon, i didn't know that you didn't have a crush on him, i will clear it all up! don't worry!"

you pursed your lips as you looked at your best-friend, "you will right?"

"yeah, don't worry!" she never did.

the moment when cheol marched up to you, you had braced yourself to explain everything to him, but why should you? were you even friends now?

"i don't even like you,"

his words were like a dagger to your heart as he walked past you, not even stopping to hear your voice.

you chest seethed with anger as you scoffed at his shadow, you turned around and moved away from him, you wouldn't let this man make you cry anymore, you wouldn't waste your time over choi seungcheol.

you're going to move on from him, no matter what it takes.

you had promised yourself that you wouldn't cry. yet when you saw his picture with his girlfriend— you couldn't help it. just a day before your birthday too, huh.

you sighed as you looked at the night sky, you hated yourself for feeling this way for a mere human, just what was so special about him that you couldn't look at others?

was it because he was your first friend? was it because he was the kindest to you— he's kind to everyone, y/n; you tried to tell yourself, but that nagging feeling in your head— that voice which didn't shut up repeatedly said— he was different to you.

you didn't know about it— you didn't know it at all.

you weren't someone special, seungcheol knew that too. and maybe that's why you had fallen for him so hard. so hard that you were wasting your tears on him years after everything had happened.

he didn't care— you try to tell yourself. he never did. he never liked you as more than a friend, it was your own foolishness which tore you both apart.

friends weren't supposed to fall for each other, but you did. and that was your biggest mistake.

you threw your phone across the bed as you prepared to sleep, you didn't care about any 12AM wishes, because you knew he won't wish you anymore— he doesn't remember your birthday anymore. you just knew, he didn't care anymore. he never loved you, so it's better for you to haul yourself and to not look back.

because at the end, he never saw you as more than a friend.

1 2 : 0 6 a. m.

seungcheol: happy birthday, y/n.

you chuckled at those bittersweet recollections with cheol, it was all amazing in a way, even after all these years, hearing the name choi seungcheol makes you smile, you don't think that you could ever hate him, not when he made you feel such a beautiful thing.

mingyu : half of your anxiety exists because of seungcheol, you both need exposure.

you sighed as you looked at your best-friend's text, remembering that you had pestered him earlier about your lack of boyfriend and he started listing out the reason, you knew he was right, but you didn't want to confront cheol anymore, it had already been three years.

you : does it even matter?

mingyu : it does when it affects you like this, you don't even like him y/n! yet you won't even try dating because of your issues— I'm not saying they are bad but, it's the only way you'd get better. atleast, give those boys a chance.

you sighed as you looked at the clock, it was 2AM, and then you looked at mingyu's text. you wondered about what your fourteen year self would want to do.

you sucked in a breath as you wondered, would it... would it really be fine to date someone? to love someone with all your heart that it takes years to try not love them anymore?

yet you still know, a small part of your heart, will always adore seungcheol.

you searched seungcheol's name in your contact, clicking on his contact you but your lips. after all these years, you're gonna tell him— you're gonna tell him about how you felt. you can't run away from your emotions. you shouldn't. not when they were tying you down.

you : hey... can we talk?

cheol : hi y/n, sure.

you : at school? tomorrow?

cheol : okay, as you wish.

your heart-beat fastened as you looked at his texts again and again, shit. what the fuck did you do? what are you doing after all these years? have you deluded yourself to think that you've moved on from him? have you actually moved on from him? what are you even going to talk to him about?

mingyu : y/n? are you alright? are you okay? can I call you?

you : i texted him.

mingyu : seungcheol?

you : yes

mingyu : AT 2 FUCKING AM?

you : yes.

mingyu : are you an idiot?

you : a big one.

you switched off your phone as you pushed your face in your pillow, it was all a dream right? since when did you gain this much of confidence, it will all be a dream when you wake up. the moment you wake up, it'd all vanish!

it didn't, you winced when you looked at three missed calls from mingyu.

yeah, that's an issue for the future me,

you sighed as you stared at your ceiling for a few minutes; you know you have moved on, so why is your heart beating so fast? you know you don't like him anymore, so why are your breaths so short?

you got up on your bed as you stared at your school backpack on the edge of your bed, you took a deep breath in. may it be four years or four months, you're ready now. you need the exposure, you need the truth. so you will tense up and talk to him.

"hannah, oh god, i can't do this—" you panicked in front of your friend as your friend tried to help you calm down amidst chemistry class.

"i have to talk to him in like fifteen minutes? i can't! I'm unable to speak clearly now, i seriously can't talk to him— I'm scared."

"y/n," your friend stared at you as you gasped for breath. "you need to talk to him. all is done, you will talk to him."

you silently nodded at her as mingyu looked at you from the side, passing a cookie towards you, "eat."

you felt bile rise up in your throat, your mouth was dry as you pushed the cookie away, "i can't eat. I'm too nervous."

you looked at the worried glances of your friends as you stood up and excused yourself to the washroom, you can do it. and you will do it. you just have to talk about your feelings, right? what could be so hard in that?

so why did you run away when you saw him approaching you?

"y/n! shit— are you okay?" mingyu asked you as nodded shakily.

"i can't talk to him."

"he's a good person, he won't judge you."

"i know!" you retorted, "but-but it's just so fucking hard, gyu. I haven't ever been transparent about my feelings to anyone and it's-its."

"but have you ever felt this strongly for anyone before?"

you shook your head, "no. and that's what scares me."

mingyu sighed as he patted your head, "you don't need to do this today."

"but I should."

"then he's out there waiting for you."

and he was, he really was.

"hey," he called out to you, a small smile on his face, "you wanted to talk to me."

you gulped, your hands shaking nervously as you tried to replicate his smile, "I did— can you give me a moment though?"

why were you still so nervous? why was it all so hard still?

"cheol- i... I wanted to talk about eighth grade and everything—"

"it was all years ago, y/n, it's alright," cheol chuckled but when he looked at your eyes, he knew it was important for you.

"can you still talk to me?"

"yes... but I don't remember half of it!" he began saying but you moved towards him, your eyes practically begging him to talk to you as he sighed, you could see the pink rush up to his cheeks as he looked away from you.

"did you really forget?"

"no, i didn't. i could never."

you smiled at him, "you see cheol— i... I liked you.. a lot and—" you speech wavered as you tried to fetch words to confess to him but, it was still so hard, it was so hard to speak your own heart.

"i know," he said, his eyes kinder as his lips twitched, yearning to break out into a smile. "I know."

that's why you loved him, you didn't have to say everything for him to understand.

"i just- i really wanted to tell you that personally," you smiled up at him gratefully as cheol nodded at you, understanding your motive about your own confession years after, years after you had finally moved on from him.

"did you—" you don't need to ask that.

"did i?"

you don't need his validation so why are you still so stuck on asking him? fuck it, you have already done the heavy part, right?

"as you know that I liked you— a lot," your heart still thumped with every word spilling with your lips but you couldn't help but notice the ease in your limbs, was confessing this liberating?

"did you ever like someone—"

"no," he said with finality, his eyes a little shocked at your question, "i liked... you a lot too," he said with a slight hesitation as he rubbed his nape out of embarrassment. "i liked you for a full year but,"

oh?

"I had assumed that you weren't ready for a relationship— and fuck, i was a coward, so i... i—"

"it's okay," you smiled up at him, you weren't going to let him regret it when you didn't, you were simply happy to hear his side as you shook your head, "it's alright, it was all in the past."

you grinned up at him as he smiled back at you.

nothing else was left to say, you knew you wouldn't ever talk to him after this, you knew that your paths won't cross again, so you relished this moment as much as you could, before you finally said your goodbye. goodbye to your first friend of this foreign school, goodbye to your first love.

you were ecstatic as you stepped in your class, a huge grin on your face as you ran towards hannah and mingyu, your voice full of vigour, "I told him!" you grinned as you jumped at your place, your friends cheering you on as hannah and mingyu passed a lunchbox towards you, while you grinned and told them all the details, happy to realise that, you have finally moved on from your first love.

sometimes fate has something else planned for you, sometimes the fate protects you from fleeting feelings and that's how you and seungcheol were.

sometimes you still wonder about what would've happened if any one of you was just a bit more courageous, but it's all the past right?

be it the right person at the wrong time or unrequited first love.

you didn't end up with seungcheol; but he taught you more than you could've ever learned by yourself.

some mistakes are made throughout your life, but you don't need to regret them.

I don't think you would regret them.

x x x : hey y/n! are you free this weekend?

you smiled at the text as you looked at the calendar, the days were far more easier now.

x x x : would you like to go out with me?

you : sure <3

you chose to speak your heart, you chose your confidence again and it was all thanks to choi seungcheol.

a/n : funfact : i hate miscommunication tropes, but this story was heavily based on my disastrous love life and it's not even half of it <33

hope you liked reading it and i sincerely hope i did a good job writing this; I think that this fic is boring, but I just wanted to type out my story for my relief.

hope you all liked it!

thanks for reading <3

XOXO

[minswriting]

Okay so I haven't sent an ask here before (also, terribly sorry for spamming your notifis, I just really love your writing😅)

But since uni finals have wrapped up all I can think about is trying to study with Reid. We know he's a great teacher, probably an even better tutor! But trying to study with him when you can't focus? When maybe you had 1 too many redbulls and keep focusing on the wrong things....or maybe he just looks extra nice tonight? I just- trying to study with Spence but you can't focus for shit lol

no warnings for this one. just pure simping

being a grad student, you had a lot of coursework you needed to focus on in order to obtain your master’s degree. as you had to study for your upcoming exam in one of your classes, you had asked your wonderful and most genius boyfriend in the world to help you. an action that seemed like a good idea at the time but isn’t working out too well.

it isn’t an issue with spencer at all. in fact, he’s perfect. he’s explaining concepts to you in a way that is clear and concise, giving facts while also explaining his own knowledge of the topic. all and all he’s a phenomenal tutor and teacher. however, he was hot. and that was the flaw you were having.

as he spoke, you couldn’t help but get lost in the way his voice sounded or the sparkle in his eye as he rambled about his own opinion of it. spencer was wearing this adorable sweater vest over his shirt and his glasses that he rarely ever wore. and god, he just looked so divine.

“so, did that help you understand?” spencer asked suddenly, finishing his rant as he finally looked at you.

you blinked, not comprehending what he had just said. “huh?” you asked.

“did my explanation help?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

you felt your cheeks warm as you realized that you had indeed not been paying attention and therefore would need his explanation again. “truthfully,” you began. “i was too mesmerized by your handsomeness to comprehend what you were saying.”

and this caused spencer to blush as he stuttered over his words. “oh! uh- okay. uh- i-i could explain it again?”

“please.”

so he did. and you tried your hardest to pay attention to each and every word he spoke, taking notes as you did so. that way, if you did get distracted, you’d have points to show where you left off.

you were grateful of how patient spencer was with you. and you were extremely lucky to have such a beautiful tutor.

[slaymybreathaway]

Romeo and Juliet (James Maguire x Reader)

Part 2/2

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,298

Masterlist ♡ Read Part 1 Here

It has been two weeks since Michelle revealed that Y/n and James like eachother in front of everyone... and since then, the pair hadn't talked to each other much.

They only hung out together when they were with the rest of the group and they only communicated in short 'His' and 'Byes'. It was very awkward, but neither of them knew what to say.

♡

Y/n sat in her English class, trying to focus on her assignment when she heard her teacher mutter the words "Ah, fuck,"

The girl tried her hardest not to laugh at her teacher's uncharacteristic profanity but immediately snapped out of it when she heard her name being called.

"Mr. Maguire and Ms. L/n, could the two of you please go to the storage cupboard and grab the two boxes that has the copies of Romeo and Juilet in them. I forgot to bring them to class,"

Y/n glanced at James, who was sitting near the back of the class, only to find that he was already looking at her. They both looked away quickly, hoping the other person didn't catch them staring.

"Yes miss," the pair replied in unison before leaving the classroom, both of them looking towards the ground.

Neither y/n or James spoke a word on their walk to the storage cupboard. It was the first time that they had been alone together in weeks.

While they were walking, James was trying to figure out how he would start the conversation, how he would tell y/n that Michelle was right about his feelings for her.

Y/n opened the door of the cupboard, almost sneezing from the dust. She pulled on the string attached to the bare lightbulb above her head and the inside illuminated. The space was quite big, it was more like a small room than a cupboard, but the boxes and shelves on each of the walls made it that there was only about two square meters of standing room.

"Can you hold the door? It's one of those ones that you can't open from the inside," Y/n turned to James.

"Yeah sure," he quickly nodded, as he stood with his back to the cupboard door.

Y/n tried to look through a few of the boxes, there was exam papers and old documents but no sight of Romeo and Juliet.

The girl stood on her tip-toes as she tried to take the top box off of the big stack in the corner, but it was heavier than expected and came falling down towards her head.

Y/n shut her eyes, anticipating the weight of the box but it never came... as she opened her eyes, she saw that James was standing right beside her, slowly putting the box on the floor.

"Are you alright?" He asked. Y/n could hear his English accent seeping through as he spoke. She had always found his accent incredibly attractive but would never dare to tell anyone.

"Uhh, yeah. Thank you James," she smiled a little flustered. The pair were frozen still, just staring at each other in silence. Their moment was broken when they heard the cupboard door click shut.

Y/n rushed to the door as she furiously tried to turn the handle, but it was no use. She turned back to face James. "I think we're locked in" she said before looking inside the box on the ground. "But at least we found the books!"

James' face expression became one of panic as he frantically knocked on the door, obviously not caring about the books. "Let us out of here!" He shouted.

Y/n then burst out into laughter as she slid to sit on the floor. It was the middle of a class so no one would be wandering the halls for another half-hour. This whole situation just seemed hilarious to her.

"What are you laughing for," James crossed his arms. He couldn't help but crack a smile at the girl's contagious laugh.

"I'm never talking to you again. You're cursed!" She joked as you continued to laugh uncontrollably.

"What do you mean?" James chuckled. He was happy that the awkwardness seemed to be gone, although the knew that the peace wouldn't last forever.

"The first time I talk to you in 2 weeks and we get trapped in a dusty, old cupboard," y/n explained as she calmed down.

The English boy rolled his eyes. "Ok, it hasn't been 2 weeks," he argued although he knows it probably was.

"Uh, yeah it has," the Irish girl stood up so she could prove her point. "I haven't spoke to you since Michelle told-" y/n started, but quickly went silent as she realise where the conversation was heading.

James shut his eyes closed as he ran his hand through his mop of curly hair. The awkwardness had come back just as quickly as it had gone. He knew he had to say something or else it would be like this forever.

"Listen, y/n, I'm really sorry about what Michelle said, you know how she is. I'm also really sorry that I didn't apologise earlier. I just didn't know how to-" he started to ramble, but was cut off by Y/n.

"Is what Michelle said true? James do you- do you like me as more than a friend?" Y/n asked him straight up. She needed to know the answer.

James looked towards the ground. He wanted to say no but he couldn't lie, not to her. She deserved the truth. He slowly nodded and he looked up to see y/n standing there, eyes wide.

"Shit. I'm sorry y/n. I- I shouldn't have said anything but I just thought that you might've liked me back. Now I see that I'm totally wrong so... just forget about it," James continued embarrasedly.

Then, Y/n did something that she had wanted to do since she first met James. She took hold of his face and pressed her lips against his passionately. It took the boy a minute to process what was happening, but once he did he wrapped both arms around y/n's waist and pulled her tightly against him.

A few moments later, y/n pulled away from the kiss. She didn't bother moving out of James' embrace, however. "You were not totally wrong, James. I like you, alot," the girl confirmed.

James broke into a smile as he looked at the girl infront of him. "Does that mean your my girlfriend, now?"

Y/n let out a small giggle. "Yeah, I think it does,"

This time, James was the one initiating the kiss as he pulled her closer and felt one of her hands running through his hair. The couple were so caught up in the moment that they didn't even hear the cupboard door opening.

"Fucking hell, I don't think that's how 7 minutes in heaven works... someone has to dare ya," a voice proclaimed, which made the teenagers immediately distance themselves as much as possible.

They turned to see Michelle, a smirk growing on her face. James' face turned a bright shade of red as he came face to face with his cousin, who was definatley gonna taunt him about this later. "What are you doing here, Michelle?" he asked, breathlessly.

Michelle laughed. "I was sent to look for you both. Everyone thought yous were mitchin'. But now I see that you were just swapping saliva in a filthy press that smells of moth balls... real romantic,"

"Shut up and help us carry these back to class," y/n shot back at her friend as she picked up the box on the floor and put it into Michelles open arms.

[mathitas]

Leo Valdez x gn!reader (High school AU)

These last days at your school, there was a teacher who hated you. (In my mind, if you're lgbt, let's pretend this teacher is homophobic; if you're not, you can make up your own reason.).

You were so angry and frustrated that you were finding it hard to sleep. You had exams coming up soon, and your next school year depended on them, and this teacher wasn't making this easier for you. Instead, he was making it worse.

You couldn't speak for yourself, 'cause you would have only made things worse, so you just decided to endure this.

After the school trip and exams, school will close, and you were waiting for that more than anything else.

Leo was the guy you were tutoring for English class; apparently he had dyslexia and ADHD, which made the subject even more difficult for him, who didn't even like it. You were initially annoyed at him because, instead of studying and helping you, he was busy flirting with you.

Let's just say you had to reject him many times.

One day, as you were tutoring him and the school trip was getting closer, he noticed you being tired and stressed. You were usually more patient with him, but today he lost count of how many times you got annoyed or angry.

"What's up with you?" "What's up with me?!" "Yeah, did something bad happen? I mean, I have to say, your eye bags are crazy." You scoffed, thanking him sarcastically.

"I'm just stressed about Mr. (teacher's surname)." "What? Why?" "He absolutely despises me, and he's trying his hardest to make me fail. The thing is, I have to shut up about it if I don't wanna make things worse." Leo looked like he was taking a mental note.

"That asshole... I mean, I can relate, except all teachers despise me"

You looked at him with an understanding look.

"I get them."

He laughed, "so I guess that's a me problem." You chuckled too.

"So, are you gonna come to the school trip?" "Yeah, I am." "Perfect" "Why?" "You'll see."

The day of the school trip came. You were sitting with your friend on the bus, and you could see Leo being on the opposite side as you.

The worst part was that the teacher was there.

You hoped he didn't plan on ruining this for you either, which you doubted, but you had your friends to defend you at least.

Your prayers weren't listened to, as he decided to casually sit behind you, out of all places, to control you if you did anything out of his liking.

During the trip, your water bottle accidentally fell, and you panicked, trying to stop all of the water from leaking.

The teacher immediately started screaming at you; his face was red with rage.

You wanted to scream back at him, but you kept your mouth shut, knowing better.

The worst part was all the stares of the other students, which were now all on you.

You knew they were on your side, but you really wanted to just disappear.

Then, suddenly, a flying robotic hand came from the back of the bus and pulled down the teacher's pants, showing everyone his... bikini-shaped underwear.

The teacher started screaming at whoever did that, and everyone started laughing, including you. Some people were wiping away their tears, some couldn't breathe while laughing, some were mortified, and Leo was smiling while holding a controller.

You gasped in his direction, and he winked at you.

That guy was a genius.

Did he do it for you?

During the school trip, everyone made fun of the teacher, and the embarrassment made him cool down, which was good for you.

When you came back to school, you and Leo bonded over it, and you started eating lunch together.

One day, he confessed how there was a group of girls who loved making fun of him and bullying him. You knew them, and you knew they were dumb, and Leo even said it didn't bother him that much. Even thought you didn't believe him fully.

You had a class with these girls, and one day they came up to you and started asking if you hung out with Leo. You smiled and nodded.

"What? He's such a loser! Aren't you ashamed?"

"I know right, and he's also short... and ugly." "Don't forget dumb!" "Um, I think you girls should focus on your friendships and loyalty instead of Leo." "What?" You pointed to two of the three girls.

"Your boyfriends are cheating on you with each other, and you..." You pointed to the third one left. "You badmouth them. Oh, and I know you had a crush on Leo, so I guess you don't really think he's ugly. I'll let you guys worry about this instead. Bye!" You were lucky to have friends who knew all the drama.

The next couple of weeks, you kept eating lunch with Leo. And you had to admit that you were developing a soft spot for him.

"Lately, I've noticed those girls have been leaving me alone." "Well, they've been fighting."

"What? How do you know?" "I may have released some deep, dark secrets so that they would leave you alone."

"Oh my God! I know you hate it when I do this, but go out with me!" You made Leo promise he wouldn't ask you that ever again, but this time you smiled.

"I'd love to." "What? Really?!" The bell rang.

"You better organize a nice date! Talk to you later, Valdez."

[missuga]

8:08 p.m — Katsuki Bakugo

+ college au, second date, no warnings :) | 1k

It’s cold, you thought as shoved your hands further into your pockets, the thin hoodie doing the least to offer you any bit of warmth.

It was too far of a drive back to your apartment to grab anything warmer now, and you just so happened to clean out your car completely in a random fit of mania last week.

That was just your luck, it seemed like the whole day so far was rooting against you.

The soft lights of the restaurant spilling onto the sidewalk coming into view lifted your spirits a bit though, hoping that now you’d be able to relax despite the lingering pinch in the back of your neck at the thought of this being your second date.

You cursed to yourself silently once you saw Bakugo leaning against the restaurant, you’d shown up a bit earlier than you usually would so you’d be able to get your bearings. 

The first date had gone really good. A lot better than you’d ever thought it’d go, you saw a side of Bakugo you never thought you’d see just by being classmates with him.

“Hey.” His tone was breathy, as if you caught him by surprise, eyes lighting up with more than the reflection of the lights when he noticed you. You couldn’t help but notice the way his expression softened as well.

“Hi.” You started, trying your hardest to not look too long at him, despite the fact he looked even better than the last time you saw him. “I’m not late right?”

“No, don’t worry.” He all but interrupted you, shaking his head quickly, “I got out of my last class early because of an exam so I just came straight here.”

You weren’t sure why you felt your heart speed up at that, but it made it a bit harder for you to form solid thoughts. You hadn’t even felt this nervous on your first date, though it had been a pretty casual meet-up for coffee.

“Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about that. How do you think it went?”

“Oh I definitely got the best score,” Bakugo answered and you smiled at the confidence drifting into his tone. With the few classes you had with him in the past you knew how he got with academics, this was nothing new. “I think the professor knew it too, he just shook his head when I turned my exam in first.”

“I forgot you’re a teacher’s pet,” You teased, your chest warming even more when he rolled his eyes at your remark. “You cannot tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re not..” He mumbled after a short moment, it was interesting just how fast his stubbornness broke when he was with you, normally he’d fight against it no matter who it was. “Want to go in?”

“Hmm, changing the subject I see.” You laughed, nudging your elbow into his arm and you didn’t realize just how close he’d gotten to you. “But yes, it’s freezing out here.”

“You were cold in class this morning,” Bakugo mused turning to look at you as you both walked towards the entrance. “You didn’t think to grab something warm?”

“I was busy, I haven’t gone home yet!”

“Hmm,” He paused to answer the hostess as you went into the restaurant before turning back to you, shrugging off his jacket as he did. “Here.”

It took you a second to process what he was doing, not expecting anything like this from him of all people.

“I didn’t know you were a cheesy romantic.” You teased again, fighting the urge to laugh at the slight bit of red creeping across his cheeks at that, he was so cute.

“Just take it before I regret offering it to you.”

You could tell he was trying hard to keep up his normal attitude, you could see through it though.

“Thanks, Katsuki.” You said once you pulled the warm jacket on, noticing the soft lingering scent of his cologne on it.

“You’re welcome.” He said, not really looking at you as the two of you sat down at one of the high tops. His usual snarky excuse was missing now. 

“I’m really glad we could go out again so soon,” You honestly weren’t sure how he was feeling after your first date last week, despite him texting you quickly after you parted. 

“I am too, I was pretty nervous today actually.” 

“You were nervous?” You stared at him for a second, trying to see if that’s what he really said. “Tell me you’re joking.” 

“I’m not.”

For the first time this night, his toned seemed serious, and his eyes dropped to the table. 

“I wasn’t sure what you were thinking.” 

“Well,” You started, leaning onto the table smiling once he met your gaze once more after you paused. “You could’ve asked me before. But, I’m thinking that your jacket smells really good.” 

Bakugo stared at you for a long moment, like he wasn’t sure of what to say. 

“You know, forget I said anything.” He said, picking up one of the menus to look at it. “You’re so weird, you know that?”

“You’re the one that asked me out,” You laughed, picking up your menu as well. “Don’t tell me you’re regretting that now.”

“Not at all,” He met your gaze once more, smiling softly as he did. “I’m kicking myself that I didn’t ask earlier.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yes, now figure out what you want.” He nodded towards your menu, and you couldn’t help but laugh at him, it was like he knew you better than you did yourself already. 

“Fine, but you’re telling me what you meant by that after we order.” You huffed and looked at the menu, still distracted at Bakugo’s words floating around your head. “Will you let me pay this time?”

“Absolutely not.” He answered quickly, almost glaring at you. “I asked you out, the least I could do is pay for your meal, even if you don’t enjoy your time.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll enjoy myself.” You smiled again, not fighting against his reasoning anymore. “I’m still not letting you off the hook, I want to know how long you’ve liked me for.” 

“I knew I shouldn’t have brought that up.” He sighed despite amused smile adorning his lips at your words. 

[gege-wondering-around]

Hello cariad! I really liked this question and I'm so curious to know your answer!

What's something you're very passionate about? 🩵

And how did you discover this passion?

hi darling @dontcallpanic! sorry it took me so long to answer! hope I'll be able to do justice to the ask and your answer was extremely heart warming and you're such an amazing person for doing that🫂🩵

something I'm very passionate about is:

meritocracy/'getting what you deserve'

I've seen the world being unfair since I was very young, I've seen it first hand in second grade and it got stuck with me.

(little back story moment: a classmate of mine wanted to cheat from me and I tried not to let her but she kept insisting, the teacher noticed and scolded me and put my desk against the wall)

ever since, I've never let anyone cheat off of me, I've tried my hardest to never cheated myself (unless it was necessary, like last year with chemistry because the teacher was the worst and next year we dont have that subject anymore, so the whole class just opted for the best way out, and I honestly don't regret it. but other that this one time, cheating is not for me).

anytime cheating was brought up by one of my friends, I'd be the one going against their methods (sneaking 2 phones so they'd keep one during the exam, hear bugs to listen to audios, long ass cheating sheets under the chair and such) cause the one who did this, were those who could simply study and get a very good grade.

and it was such a common thing to do, to cheat every single time, that they'd brag about it like it was the success of the century. and they never got what they actually deserved and it makes me sick. cause i know people who bust their asses to keep their grades up and have little to no recognition for their efforts, while these other people who cheats just get away with it.

and they don't just cheat on exam... one cheated on her gf as well, one is planning on cheating the driver theory test, and so on.

(another back story moment: math exam, i studid days for it and a friend of mine kept asking me for help. at home, i did an exercise we both struggled on and got the right answer but i knew the method was wrong but found no other way to get to the answer. i send it to my friend, don't remember what she said but i remember she told me it was done wrong and i knew. next day, the day of the exam, 10 minutes before it she went to our math teacher to ask him how it was supposed to be done and showed him the pic with my work, and he obviously told her it was done wrong (and i knew the whole time it was) and she came back fiercely saying 'i told you it was wrong' but i let her me. during the exam, she had photomath doing her exam while the teacher was 1 meter away from her. and he told her nothing.)

but apart from school, I've seen this in my parents' work environment too, cause they are both the most hard workers and they get less than most and have to do everything for others cause, for example my father, is the only one who can this particular machine (which is falling apart) and he had to 'study' the whole thing to understand how to make it work, while others, whenever its their time to work on it, they just give up the second the machine decided to break and those people don't work for the rest of the day.

anyway! (you can already cleary tell my passione about this...)

to make it short, it makes me sick that busting your ass gets you nothing and cheating gives you everything. and I discover it (if you can say you can discover this) because everything is unfair and I want to be fair. I wanna play fairly and get what i deserve, whatever it might be.

it's one of my strongest moral, not to cheat, and it shows not only on test but friendships and relationships too cause I'm extremely loyal and honest and genuine (to the point others take advantage of it) but I'm proud of it regardless. i get what i get and im satisfied by my results cause i know the efforts behind it. but seeing nothing more than the wolrd being unfair takes away from me the enjoyment of being able to do the things i do... yet, I try my hardest to make sure people get treated fairly, i want people to know their efforts aren't wasted on their interests or success (such as grades and others).

but moving on cause i could rant about meritocracy forever...

psychology

ever since i was little it mesmerized me. the human mind, behavior, response based upon past experiences and how one person can be molded by society and the wolrd.

i knew a few things about psychology and it helped me (along with helping me helping others too) to go on with my life and get over certain moments when i was at my lowest.

i wanna understand people deeply (and i can even without psychology, I have a lot of empathy for others) and this helped me a lot to understand their behavior and feelings cause even subtle hints can tell you so much about someone.

i feel that, knowing psychology even a little bit, gives me the ability to make a web of someone mind (even if it'd be so little and insignificant) which is amazing to me. to be able to put something to abstract and complex as someone's identity on paper, to understand them to the point you get the ALMOST completely (in that little aspect, for example why i care so much about meritocracy. psychology can only tell you that much about my passiont towards it) because love makes the understanding complete.

i don't believe that you can understand someone simply based upon psychology because you make them nothing more than a rat lab. i believe you need love to fully get someone's way of being, you need to understand their feelings and reasons and psychology can do only so much about it.

in short. to understand people, i discovered psychology cause i needed to understand myself, why i was depressed and such, and it helped me come to the realization i couldn't help myself until i started loving who i was.

which brings me to...

love

i have a tremendous lack of love in my life and my friends ease that pain without even knowing it. my kindness comes from love, everything i do is based upon love.

someone once told me i can't live a life based upon love, seeing love everywhere, but i don't care. for me love can be anywhere, it can be in a little hobby i picked up simply to do one thing and ended up being useful further on, it can be in putting a can os sode in the fridge knowing you won't be the one drinking it. (and its your fav soda as well). it can be sharing something with those you love, even i simply 'hey i dreamt this tonight...' and have a good laught together.

love is everywhere, i can see it everywhere. it can be anywhere.

i want love to be one of my motivations, to be one of those things i carry with me anywhere i go, something i can share cause everyone can use some love regardless of everything.

i discovered love in a strange way. not through a relationship or my family. but through internet and not by having a relationship online.

it came out of no where, this manga i saw and read without knowing anything about it and it made me sick to my stomach cause it was claimed to be about love but there was no love in it. it all felt forced and that's when i started developing my thought about love, of any kind, and when i understood what love might be for me.

after that, love drove me through my lowest moments, helped me back up again and it showed me my passions. even if they changed with time, everything i did or picked up as an hobby was made with the intention to love.

and this brings me to the last one (at least for this post)...

writing

i write of love and i love writing.

it literally saved since when i was down really bad, i could only write. and i wrote endlessly, i still have some of the things i wrote years ago, the sorrow and pain and agony in those sheets of paper reminds me who i was and how far I've come. and all thanks to writing.

now i write fanfics about love, i pour as much love as i can in my pieces and i try my hardest to leave a lesson in my works (despite the fact i haven't post a single one yet). i started writing fanfics when i wanted love to be tangible in my own way, i started being a fanfic writer when i was touched so deeply by some characters' love (without even being canon) that i couldn't comprehend the cruelty behind taking away something so beautiful from the narration. (or life, if you want).

the day i started writing was when i set down my goal in life: to show love is possible. whether it might be through fanfics, poems, letters, messages, quotes or book dedications (cause the fic I'm working on rn is dedicated to someone really meaningful to me).

and it all started when i was around 7 or 8 and ever since then, I've been writing for a decade now and I'm still going strong on it. it's my way of being, of showing love and understanding, it's my way of be alive despite everything, is my way of fighting.

and anytime someone close to me mention how they'd like to start to write, i cheer them up as much as possible, and when they have doubts and maybe we are having lunch somewhere and they ask me 'hey how do you do it without stressing yourself?' or something similiar i pour my heart out to tell them writing is always about writing for yourself.

i discovered writing paragraphs and poems because i was becoming mute (not like medically speaking, i just never talked) and i needed to get it out and talking with my voice about it only made me feel less and less, like i was tearing away pieces from myself simply because people could be aware of me if i spoke about myself. I didn’t want people to know me, i wanted them to ignore me.

so i wrote.

i kept writing. from my thoughts to little stories, to poems and messages, and finally to fanfics. i kept writing everything down, i write myself down so I'm tangible in a way that doesn't tear anything away from me.

i became tangible in a way where it doesn't matter if I'm a male or a female, if I'm old or young, if I'm this or that.

i made myself tangible and memorable, something you can comprehend and live, something you can notice and not ignore.

I hated and still hate being tangible in the way of a woman. I'm tangible because people can touch me and i hate it, so i wrote. and that's my way of being tangible, without letting people take away anything from, without having them touching me.

and this is all in my writings, in my poems and my fanfics this things always come up somehow, maybe subtly or maybe not but they are always there cause i write for myself. i write to have something to leave behing in this life. i write to be tangible even in the future. i write so maybe someone else will write too and be tangible just the same way. i write to inspire and teach, to myself and others.

i write to be. i write about love.

so...

yeah this is pretty much it, i hope i made justice to the ask somehow and i hope the part about meritocracy wasn't too boring or like a rant (cause i swear it gets animated whenever its brought up and my bestie keeps me shut before i scream at teachers to fo their job, anyway!)

hope it was of your liking and im glad i have a chance to answer this as well. wish you an amazing day and hope your writing journey is lovely and filled with passion! and remember, before anyone else, always write for your own enjoyment and according to your tastes and likings!🫂🩵

[ryuuzn]

Highschool/College Scenarios with 5wirl + Scara⛄️

Some fluff scenarios with 5wirl + scara, some are a bit short and scaras is a but long so sorry.

TW! slight nsfw with scaras

>Highschool/college partner!heizou - he would always pick you up once class is over, he would bring you to the cafe that is connected to the library and let you order stuff. While studying for your finals, most of the time he would tease you and you would get distracted by his flirty pick up lines. He would kiss your cheek from time to time while you both study. He rarely studies even while being with you but always ends up with better scores than you. You can’t think of how he is able to score more than you even though he barely studies….(he’s just cheating LMAO /j he’s just really smart he doesnt need to study)

Highschool/college partner!xiao - similar to heizou, he doesnt study because he knows he’s too smart for it. He would be your personal tutor to help you on your tests and exams. Everytime you aren’t getting tutored by him for the test this week, you would get a low score. During your tutoring time with him, if you manage to get a question correct he would kiss your cheek and if you pass on your test/exam then he promised to take you out or buy you something to eat. You’ve never felt so appreciated then ever

Highschool partner!aether - you and him both fail tests/exams because you both are dumb as hell. Even if you two study together, you and him would end up with low or average grades. One time aether would able to get a high grade which made the teacher suspicious of him and later on found out that he was cheating on the test. You on the other hand study the hardest than anyone else but still get bad grades (hehe relateable). Will both you and aether ever graduate highschool?

Highschool/college partner!kazuha - Kazuha is smart in general and he’s very helpful. He would help many students on their studies and they always pass with flying colours. Yet he rarely wants to help anyone else because he wants to spend time helping his baby. You two would either be at the school library or at a cafe that is connected to a library to study for finals. If you get caught off guard by one second he would kiss your cheek so that you can get back to focus. Though he doesn’t know that him kissing your cheek just makes you more riled up, meaning that you arent able to concentrate at all.

College partner!venti - Similar to aether, he’s dumb as a duck. He would always asm you for the answers on the test because he “doesnt” have time to study. You always say no because majority of the time he is spending is going out to play games or drink with his friends yet he continues to ask you for help. He then says he’ll get you anything if you agree to help him and your eyes sparkled. Say goodbye to his wallet.

College partner!scara - you and scara are studying together at a nearby library cafe. You both have headphones on listening to calm music as you both study for finals. As he was studying, he noticed that you kept looking towards him. He then looked at your paper and noticed that you’ve been copying his answers the whole time. He grabs your headphones and says “Hey! why are you copying my answers.” you snark, “what? im just copying your answers because im too lazy to do this. its soooo boooorrrring” you say then he switched seats and sat next to you. You were a little confused but didn’t mind becauss it felt warmer after he got closer. You turn to look at him and he suddenly kisses you deeply, you pushed away and locked eye contact. “Do your work or i’ll punish you” he says. “and what if i want punishment hm?” you said as you smirked. His face grew more red and faced away from you fuck why is this bitch tempting me he thinks. You poke him on the cheek and he turns around “oh yea? if you want punishment so badly, might aswell do it here” he says as ge went below the table. Your eyes widened and kicked him “Not here dummy! lets just get in the car” you said. You’re in for a long night tonight.

[kaevch]

ASSURANCE.

summary: how they comfort/try to help you when you fail in a subject you've been trying your hardest on.

warnings: gn! reader, mentions of crying in riddle's, the subject is not really mentioned, jade's really ooc here 💀.

chrtrs: riddle, kalim, jade

note: shit happened to me so i decided to write this ☹️

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

“ It's okay, I know you tried your hardest. ”

he tries his best to comfort you, since he's not really used to this kind of stuff.

if you start crying, he'll start to panic.

“ Hey, Hey, Hey, it's alright, really. You'll be fine. Uhm, I'll help you study harder for the next exam, alright? ”

hugs you and pats your back ( sort of awkwardly ) while still reassuring you.

his voice might crack abit too

oh and, he does keep his word.

he's more hard on making you study, he doesn't want to see you so distraught again.

he tries his best to explain the chapters in a more simpler form, hoping that'll make you understand the chapters a bit better.

during tea breaks, he asks you to explain the things he just teached you.

he won't get that mad if you forgot though.

just sighs and says it all again

when you fall asleep while studying, he'll smile abit and make sure yourself sleeping in a more comfortable position.

KALIM-AL-ASIM:

“ You tried your best! That's all that matters. I know you'll do better in the next one. ”

Slings an arm over you and brings you closer to him while smiling softly

“ If you'd like, you can come study with me and Jamil! He's a really good tutor, i promise. ”

When you go to study with them, he might act all lazy, but he's really just observing the points you're weak at.

he notes them down in a notebook, and gives it to jamil, asking him to focus on explaining those to you first.

he probably also has sessions with you where you both ask each other questions for the subject and for each one you get correct, you get two points and lose one point if you get it wrong and a pinch on the cheeks.

and the loser has to help Jamil with his chores. ( it was his idea iswear )

( you lost. ) ( AND IM NOT DRAWING HIM. mf has too much details)

JADE LEECH:

“ My, I thought it'd be higher..Do you suppose the teacher made a mistake while checking your paper? ”

first thing he thinks is that it's the teacher's fault you failed ( yeah it is 🤬 )

but after confirming with the teacher that there is indeed no mistake, he sighs and looks at you.

“ What do you think of studying with me and Floyd? You know he doesn't like to study unless it's something interesting. And I know that you're the most interesting student here, and I'm pretty sure my brother thinks the same. So, how about it, hm? ”

is he flirting or something

i swear he'll smile menacingly if you blushed at what he said

after you agree to study with them, he plans out everything nicely.

studies at mostro lounge mostly when it's not working hours anymore, but during work, he'll have you sit at a table near to the bartender's desk (??) so, when he's serving stuff, he can stop by you and ask if you have any doubts

he also serves you some drinks for free (he payed for it)

sometimes he messes with you by lying that you got the answer wrong and casually walking away while you question everything ( THE ANSWER WAS CORRECT TOO, JADE THAT LITTLE BITCH )

he says that if you get high marks after studying with him, you should pay him back with something ( a kiss 😍 ) but if you fail again..you're in for a hard time.

[sensitive-trait]

On her last day of high school, Alice charged through the doors with pride. She was ready to take on the measly exam that stood between her and her future. She sat at the back of the room, avoiding eye contact with any of her friends, worried seeing them might throw her off.

A bell signaled the start of the test and the room filled with the sound of students simultaneously opening their books. Followed by a deafening silence as they read over the first question.

The next hour passed quickly, and Alice was among the first to turn in her papers. She jittered with anticipation while the teacher tallied her marks.

She was the first to break the silence, letting out a little squeal when she learned she’d received a perfect score. Leaving class on cloud nine. 

Meanwhile, Will was in a state of panic. He had rushed to finish his test, trying to beat Alice out of the classroom. Checking that the coast was clear, he walked up to her locker and slipped a note between the vents. His heart racing as he scampered away, trying to seem casual.

When Alice finally made it to her locker, she was accompanied by her friends and completely distracted. They went over the hardest parts of the exam as she unconsciously entered her combination and opened the door.

She discovered a small note in Will’s messy script: You + Me = prom! It was simple, but it meant a lot to her that he put himself out there.

Smiling, she closed the door and turned to tell her friends but was interrupted by the sight of Drew on one knee. 

Even though she had run away from him less than twenty-four hours prior, he knelt confidently in front of her, grinning, “I didn’t get a chance to ask you yesterday but…” Her heart started pounding as he pulled out a sign that read: I can’t wait, please be my prom date? “Will you go to prom with me, Alice?” he said. She stared at him in shock, unsure how to reply.

[athousandbyeol]

thank you for tagging me, @forcebookish <3

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

when i was 15, i had a lot of problems at school. i was in the first class (i wasn't smart, btw. i guess it was luck or misjudgement from the school management) and i received a lot of mental and emotional pressure to be like my other classmates. they were all very bright and i wasn't. so it took a toll on my mental health. i got really bad grades, especially in maths and science. and some of my teachers said very heartbreaking things to me.

i was trying to find a distraction. and that time i was still new in the k-pop fandom. but one day i discovered a kaisoo (exo) fanfic on asianfanfics and i instantly fell in love. i read a lot (A LOT) of kaisoo fanfics after studying. one day, i decided to write my own and it was so cringey ngl hahaha. but it was so fun when people started commenting on it! so i thought, hey, this is so cool. i should just continue doing this because it helped me a lot mentally. i wasn't good in english before (still am not, tbvh) because english isn't my first language. but after reading and writing fanfics, i got an A+ for my exam! and i never got a B ever since. :)

fast forward, i've been writing fanfics for 10 years. <3

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

i think i've written stories for 30+ fandoms? hehe. my most written stories belong to the bad buddy (patpran), only friends (topmew), kinnporsche (vegaspete) and a boss and a babe (guncher) fandom :)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

i write more. i read sometimes. but usually during my free time, i would either write, edit or watch videos and listen to crime/horror podcasts hehe. but i want to read more, though.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

i guess... my own voice? i noticed, when i just started writing fanfics, i tended to copy the writing style of an author i liked. but now, i think i have my own distinct writing style. maybe some readers can tell if a story was written by me hehe.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

i researched about ways to clean corpses for somewhere else (topmew)...

i don't think it's weird, but i researched a lot on polyamorous relationships while writing tell me (topmew). i also did a bit of research on situationship when i wrote maybe we and not us (also topmew).

topmew really made me do a lot of reading and researching hehe.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i personally like when readers highlight their favourite lines or parts from the story. i think it's the best type of comment. but i appreciate any kind of comment i get because they're treasures i'll cherish for a lifetime. :)

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i don't know if this isn't mainstream, but i wrote about prostitution (come home/topmew). in the story, top worked as a part-time prostitute while being in a stable relationship with mew. mew knew top's working as an escort, but he was so supportive of top and loved him the same.

i was trying to show that sex workers are also human beings and they deserve to be loved. i guess i was hoping readers (and myself) could change the stereotype we have against prostitutes/sex workers because not all of them do this for pleasure. most of them do it because of survival. i watched a short documentary on sex work in the philippines and was inspired to write this story. they're so strong and admirable. :)

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

smut. i can't write smut. i swear. i've been trying for years but i just can't write it well. and i don't really like writing this genre (?) in particular... i think i'm also weak at writing dialogues and dialogue tags. it's so hard :(

10. What is the easiest type?

descriptive, narrative and emotive. i'm comfortable writing in this style and i consider it as one of my strengths :)

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i usually write in my room, on my bed or on the floor. i write all my stories on grammarly because as i mentioned, i'm not a native english speaker so grammarly helps a lot with basic grammar mistakes. there's no fixed time, honestly. usually, i'll write whenever i'm inspired. but mostly, it's at night (between 10 to 3 am) and morning (5 to 8 am). and i'll always listen to music when i'm writing. ^^

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

i have a plan to write an original story with forcebook and jimmysea as the main cast this year. but looking at the things i have to do upcoming semester (dissertation and candidature defence), i'm afraid of the time limitation. everything is already planned out. i just have to write the story down. but time isn't on my side these days. so i'll just probably stick to writing one-shots in the meantime. but i really hope i can make this idea happen someday :(

13. What made you choose your username?

athousandbyeol is actually a play on 'a thousand stars'. i really loved p'aof's a tale of a thousand stars so my usernames (youtube, twitter, ko-fi and tumblr) are based on that :)

wordsbythesundown is my pen name ^^ i used this for my instagram and my second blog ^^ (and because i really love sunsets hehe)

i don't know who to tag so... anyone who sees this, feel free to join the fun :)

[shatterinseconds]

academic rivals

Klance AU month ‘23 days 11 and 22

“Hey, pretty boy. You think you’re so great, don’t you?” Lance stands in front of Keith, hands on his hips as he glares. It takes a moment for Keith to acknowledge his presence. 

Slowly lifting his head, Keith blinks, squinting. “No?” he says more as a question. His long bangs hang in his eyes, the rest of his hair curled at his shoulders. The multiple piercings on his ears glitter in the waning sun. Lance hates that he can’t look away even if he wanted to.

“Ignoring the dress code, skipping class, still getting As,” Lance lists out, jaw clenched. “Your tactics are not going to work on me.”

Confused, Keith arches an eyebrow. “Do I know you?”

Lance sputters. “Do you—Do you know me? We’ve been in the same class since the beginning of the year!” It’s been two months since Keith Kogane ruined his life, when Keith moved fresh from who knows where—-he came from Texas though he doesn’t have an accent or a cowboy hat, but Lance saw his driver’s license once so he’s ninety-five percent sure.

Lance didn’t quite know what to make of the new kid bursting into his homeroom on the first day of junior year. His hair was a messy mullet, his shirt untucked, tie nowhere to be seen, and too many ear piercings decorated both ears for some teacher to not have called him out on the dress code violation already.

To say Lance was intrigued would be an understatement.

To say Lance was extremely annoyed when suddenly his favorite teacher started to praise Keith for his high scores on exams despite the fact that Lance has never seen Keith take any notes would also be an understatement. He’s not even sure if Keith has opened the textbook.

After another round of misery of watching Keith somehow flawlessly ace one of the hardest classes their school offers, Lance had had enough. He marched up to Keith after soccer practice, finding him on one of the furthest sets of bleachers. He had a sketch book open on his lap, pencil lazily moving back and forth. While Lance couldn’t see what he’d been doing, he just knew Keith was jotting down new ways to humiliate him. It fueled his anger and confidence that much more.

But to not even know his name? That’s the final nail in the coffin

Keith shrugs. “Like you said, I skip class. I don’t know anyone.”

Lance leans closer, practically poking Keith in the chest, outraged. “The name’s Lance. And you’ve been one upping me since you arrived!”

Keith pauses, wide eyed, before his entire expression changes. “You should’ve told me I was in a competition. I would’ve tried harder.” He wickedly grins as he speaks. Lance suddenly finds it difficult to swallow. Keith’s dark eyes are startling up close; he never realized how pretty his eyes were before. “I’ll be sure to play by the rules now.”

Lance growls. “It’s on, Mullet.”

“Well, Lance,” Keith says, getting all up in his space. Oh, there’s that accent now. Lance automatically steps back and inwardly curses himself. “I look forward to winning.”

To say Lance blushes furiously even after Keith vacates the premise is the biggest understatement of them all.

[diagnosed-anxiety-disorder]

Napoleon Crossing the Alps , painted by me

Start Date: December 22, 2022 approx. 21" x 17" , acrylic + dry watercolour paint , on the back of a cardboard lego box

( art process + close ups + catpoleon in the keep reading )

Day 1 stuff

The idea actually started in my history class after my final exam, I sketched Napoleon Crossing the Alps in my history notebook and showed it to my teacher and he liked it so :D I also had a fever while painting this bc my immune system SUCKS but I'm okay now! ( i think?). Funny story, if you look at the picture of my art layout on my bedroom floor, the paints that I used were the watercolour tube thingies that you are supposed to mix with water but I thought they were acrylic so that's why it came out a different texture. So if you actually touch the painting, his face is softer than the rest of the painting, which is pretty cool thinking back on it. This was my first time painting so I didn't have a set up or anything so I just took the floor as a space :0) I also finished a base layer of paint the next day

Face close up

I'm actually really proud of the face because it somewhat resembles him... i think. The hardest part was the area around his eyes since the colour always came out too dark or too saturated and stuff. This was the part I used watercolour paint for on accident so I was able to just smooth it out with my fingers and I ended up practically finger painting the face. Also i practically bs-ed the nose and the mouth. I didn't know how to draw either of those things because my former art style was very anime inspired so I would just draw a line and call it a day. I still haven't gotten down how to draw a mouth or nose but it's fineeee

Shiny Jacket Things (idk what they're called)

THESE THINGIES ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE– literally in the painting, their location is kind of vague so I practically came up with my own pattern. I'm not even sure if I painted this correctly. I started with a yellow but it didn't look shiny enough. But literally a week later I found metallic acrylic paint which is AWESOME so I used a copper colour over the yellow and then added some white for the shine. If i ever paint Napoleon again I literally might just not paint these.

The Cockade

I'm actually really proud of this! This was on the day I found my metallic acrylic paint. I actually did each colour separately so I started with red, then blue, then white, then yellow. The hardest part was painting in the shadow of something that wasn't even on the canvas yet haha. Even though it's not shiny in the painting, i wanted to give it some luster to stand out against the plain black hat so I lightly went over some areas with my metallic paint :D

CATPOLEON >:D

I made the ears in the colours of the french flag on purpose hehe. So i was in my room doing homework and being bored and I thought to myself, what would cheer me up? And the little voice in my head said to put cat ears on Napoleon so I did it !

Final Thoughts: I think I did pretty well for my first painting! I had literally no idea what I was doing and honestly I think there's something wrong with my paint, but I literally got them at a craft store so that's probably why. Next time, I will not drink the paint water out of curiosity and I'm not gonna paint on the floor since I got paint on my floor. But overall, I'm proud of myself and that's what really matters :D hope you all like it too!

[leaderwon]

lunaaa bby hru >.< ? how was hindi paper ?

bro i think me and hindi both slayed eachother

like i slapped that shit in grammar, comprehension and writing BUT THE QUESTION ANSWERS HAD ME CHOKING 😭😭😭

I WAS SO CONFIDENT ALSO AND AFTER EXAM WHEN I WENT TO MY TUITION I FOUND OUT THOSE QUESTIONS MEANT A WHOLE DIFFERENT CRAP???

IT WASNT EVEN 1 QUESTION MAN IT WAS PLENTY.

like I was sitting at my tuition teacher's place and she read the question and repeated what it said and I was like "🧍‍♀️" "ur joking right" "GIRL THAT IS NOT WHAT IT MEANS" "oh is that what that word means" "I'm going to kms" LIKE BE FUCKING FRRRR i apparantly god the hardest set (set 2) idk most people said it was a hard set BUT I WALKED OUT OF THAT DAMN HALL FEELING LIKE A CHAD BUT NOW I GET WHY THEY SAID IT WAS THE HARDEST SET STFU

my confidence saw such a downfall at her house BUT THEN FOR CBSE THEY'RE COMPLETELY CHANGING THE WAY THEY'RE GIVING OUT THE RESULT AND ITS ONLY BEST OF 5 SO TBIS GIVES ME MOTIVATION TO SLAY MY REST OF THE EXAMS (except science bro I'm so fucked for science)

greatest part ab this exam was ME LEAVING THIS GOD FORSAKEN SUBJECT BRO I'm a hindi speaker but i hate that subject so much

[kakiastro]

Astro Observations 6 & Tea on Pass Life Astrology

Disclaimer: these are my own observations and what I’ve personally studied and researched. If it doesn’t apply let it fly, I’m not here toyou convince you on what to to believe or not. With that being said enjoy the post😃

Saturn in pass life represent the Karmic cycle you’re here to break in this life.

You and a group of people came here with a collective mission but you each express it differently

Ex. Saturn Pisces generation is here to break the illusions, lies and manipulations of the world currently. You’re here to make people ask the questions and actually research “what’s out there?” “Who’s out there?” “What’s the Truth” and “what can we do to make it better?”

Saturn- realism

Pisces-non realism

You guys Saturn return is coming up next year and it’ll be there for 2.5 years

A return is like your first test on the first phase of your life, think of a college exam, what have you learned so far and has it been beneficial to you and those around you?

shadow period starts 2 years before then you’ll feel the affects once Saturn is in your sign and 10° close to your natal degree and heaviest when it’s exact

First phase- Age 28-31 years, this is usually the hardest biggest life changing one because people are going through phase of trying to be stable and ask themselves “is this what I want for my life” during this time of their lives. People usually start their career, start a family, buy a house or car, big transition in life

2nd phase- Age 48-51, a lot of people have said this return is easier and that’s probably due to maturity and wisen up, you’re probably more stable or have a vision of you are and what you want this time of your life, obviously this isn’t the case with everyone but you get the general idea

3rd phase and beyond= age 78-81. You’re blessed if you make it to your 3rd Saturn return and beyond. This the return that makes you recap your whole life so far before you leave the earthly plane and return to the spiritual

Even though this is a generational planet, each individual has there own Saturn karma they are cleaning up based on what house Saturn is placed in, plus aspects

A Saturn Pisces 4h has family, ancestral roots to work on while a Saturn Pisces 10h needs to work on their public image and career

Your rising sign degree can show you how far you are on your journey

Gemini rising degree 1°(Aries),

Fist decan Gemini-Gemini you’re just beginning your student journey

You’re not a new soul here on earth but you get to be the one learning this lifetime

Degrees go up to 30° before in a new sign

Depends on how much you lean this this lifetime you may end up being the teacher the next lifetime

Ex. Your a Gemini rising 1° this lifetime but you’ll be a Sagittarius rising 14°

You learned so much now you’re ready to teach

You’ll bounce back and forth like that, you may be a Sagittarius rising now but be a Pisces rising next or Virgo rising until you reach that 29° cycle in your chart

I’ll continue with this topic another time in another post but I wanted to introduce some cool pass life stuff I’ve researched, studied and observed

I Hope you enjoyed this post!