#the sooner you understand this the better

[asiatic-apple]

Tracing fault lines

Caleb x female reader

Words: 1.7k

Content: reader has scars from being a Hunter, angsty caleb, mentions of reader's past grief and survivor's guilt, sexual tension but nothing too nsfw

a/n: as someone who scars a lot and very easily, I couldn't shake this idea of caleb finding all the scars reader got while he was "gone"—and how he would kiss every one of them Read on AO3 here

Caleb’s fingers freeze in the middle of carding through your damp hair. The towel around your body loosens as you shift, and that’s when he sees the discolored line arcing along your shoulder blade. His eyes follow it to another jagged scar that dips down your back before it’s hidden beneath the towel. It feels like his chest might cave in with how tightly his heart clenches.

“You only had a couple small scars when you started at the Hunters Association,” Caleb murmurs to himself, the frown in his voice unmistakable.

Back then, he worried, sure. But he knew you were careful. If you weren’t careful enough, then at least he was there to check on you. He made sure you weren’t being reckless then.

Now, nearly a year has passed since he…had to leave you. And your clothes, he realizes with a sick twist in his gut, have been hiding a battlefield since the two of you reunited.

“When did this happen?” Caleb’s voice is soft and breathy as his fingers tickle the mark on your shoulder blade. He already knows the answer, but he still needs to hear it from you.

You hesitate, a memory flickering to life before you can shut it down: the flash of a wyrm’s sharp teeth too close for comfort. A sudden sting of pain as its spiked tail rakes across your skin when you mistime your dodge.

You swallow against the rising panic creeping up your chest. It’s taking everything in you to lock it back down.

His fingers make another pass against the scar, and you realize you’ve been quiet a second too long. You shrug off his concern. “Don’t worry about it. It happened several months ago.”

He exhales slowly, trying to bury all the things he wants to say. You barely have time to gather yourself before his fingertips find another scar, then another��a map of all the moments he wasn’t there to protect you. Proof of all the dangers you were forced to face alone.

He wonders how many more marks are scattered along your torso and your legs. Just how much have you been hiding from him? Were you more reckless in his absence? Did you throw yourself into danger, thinking it was better than the pain of grief?

Caleb can relate to that last part too well. But it doesn’t mean he can bear the thought of you rushing headfirst into every fight, desperate to feel closer to the one you lost. I should have been there, he thinks, guilt curling tight in his chest. Every raised line on your body is a quiet accusation, a reminder of how much he missed.

He wants to kiss each scar to erase the memories associated with them—and to better understand you. He wants to uncover the pieces you’ve hidden beneath clothes and soft, practiced lies.

I’m fine, you always tell him. If he could, Caleb would ban you from ever uttering those empty words again. He doesn’t want secrets or niceties. He wants your truth, even if it hurts to hear it.

“Tell me about what happened here,” he whispers, not giving up this silent fight between you two. His fingers follow the faint curve of a scar along your neck, one he would have noticed sooner if it weren’t for your hair hiding it.

Another memory rises, bitter and sharp, but you do a better job of pushing it to the recesses of your mind this time. “Cat scratch,” you deadpan.

He hates how you always use that excuse, even when you know he’s seen through it for years. It doesn’t stop him from pushing until you finally confide in him.

His brow creases as his fingers trail lower, brushing the brutal line he noticed before. “And what about this jagged one, hm? Is this a cat scratch too?”

You sigh, and he can tell you’re going to cave now. “Herte knave,” you mumble, shoulders sagging in defeat and slight embarrassment.

You’ve always hated admitting you weren’t strong enough, weren’t fast enough, when it mattered. And you especially hate letting Caleb in on that secret because you know how overprotective he gets.

This time, it stings even more to admit your failures because of the implications of them. All your scars reveal just how much you couldn’t cope with Caleb’s death. How much you wished it was you who stepped back into the house first that day.

Shaking off the residual grief—your brain still hasn’t gotten the memo that he’s not really dead—you clear your throat and finish your explanation. “It lunged at me before I could spot it coming.” You decide to leave out the part where you almost didn’t make it back in one piece.

Even though he’s relieved you’re giving him real answers now, Caleb is not fully satisfied yet. He wants to see everything. Not for the first time, he feels a different kind of yearning—not the usual pulse of desire, but the sharp, aching urge to stand in front of you on every battlefield. The urge to shield you so you never have to know pain again.

His fingers tug gently at the towel, intent on finding out how far that jagged line snakes down your back. For once, he’s not even thinking about the fact that you’re completely bare beneath the towel. You stop him before it slides too low on your chest, and he blinks, remembering his manners. 

“Please,” he begs before he can think better of it, “let me see the rest of them.”

There’s a long pause. Caleb expects the usual—for you to brush him off, make a joke, remind him that he hides his own wounds just as carefully as you do. But tonight, something in you softens. Instead of pushing him away, you nod silently and lead him into the bedroom.

When you approach your dresser, you glance back at him, and he gets the hint. He turns to face the opposite wall so you can change in privacy.

After a few seconds of tense silence, you call him to join you in bed. You’re dressed in nothing but a comfy sports bra and soft shorts, your skin bared in the lamplight. The sight nearly undoes him.

Caleb approaches slowly, as though afraid you might vanish. You lie back, the quiet stretch of your body against the sheets drawing him closer without a word.

The rest of the evening unfolds in hushes and shivers. His fingertips trace every line on your skin, each touch delicate as if memorizing you anew.

He doesn’t linger near your chest or lower stomach. His touch is gentle, almost reverent. But even so, goosebumps bloom in his wake, and you hate how easily your body betrays you. Your heart flutters beneath his hands, warmth unfurling in your cheeks and low in your stomach.

With each scar, he asks soft questions, and you tell him the stories. You tell him about a mission gone wrong, an unstable protofield that popped up in Azure Square, and countless other close calls since he disappeared from your life.

And with each confession, his grip tightens a fraction, his jaw working as though he’s biting back all the things he doesn’t know how to say.

“Promise me,” he whispers, voice breaking from the weight of everything you’ve revealed. “Promise me it won’t happen again.”

With soft lips, he presses the plea into your skin, the words repeating between shuddering breaths. He doesn’t stop muttering them amid careful, chaste kisses scattered along the scar above your rib, the curve of your belly, the hollow of your hip.

Your mind goes blank. The only sounds in the room are the soft rustle of the sheets, the whisper of your breath hitching—and his, catching at the edges like he’s desperately holding back more than the soft gasps that escape him. Each sound hangs between you like a secret.

Caleb has given you a few platonic kisses before. But those were always innocent, even though his affection for you has long run deeper. None of the quick pecks he's ever peppered on your forehead in the past compare to the heat of his touch right now.

There's something far more dangerous in the way he looks up at you during each slow kiss. Like he's indulging in something he knows he can't have yet. Something sinful he can't help but savor to its fullest.

But it's okay because this is just what close friends do, right? This is comfort. This is care. This is not a confession. You repeat it like a mantra as his hands find a scar just above your hip, dangerously close to where you ache for him.

His lips begin to stray from the scars along your body, brushing against your shoulder before settling over the racing pulse at your neck. He lingers there, warm breath ghosting over your skin, too close.

Then he hovers just shy of your mouth. You know what he’s waiting for, but you don’t close the gap. Not yet.

Instead, you just whisper, “I promise.” The words seem to tremble on your tongue.

You both know you can’t promise never to get hurt again. But that’s not what he’s really asking for. You understand the true meaning behind his plea: if anything ever happens to Caleb again, you’ll find a way to go on without him. You’re not sure you’ll keep that promise. But it’s easier to lie for now.

Caleb pulls away, slowly, as though releasing something heavy inside himself. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Still, he’s satisfied with your promise for now, and he knows you might need some space after being so vulnerable.

He thinks he’s being merciful when he slips quietly from the room to give you privacy. But the moment the door clicks shut, you draw in a shaky breath, fingers drifting to the places his lips caressed. The warmth of his touch lingers, a phantom ache that leaves you restless and wanting.

And in the hush of the empty room, you let yourself wonder what it would be like to trace his scars someday. To pull back the armor he wears so carefully, to uncover the jagged secrets he’s never spoken aloud.

Maybe, you think as you close your eyes, maybe one day you’ll both stop pretending you’re only trying to heal old wounds.

[sparrows4bats]

So I saw another edit of Jondami and Would you Fall in Love with Me Again from EPIC the Musical and I have gone down the rabbit hole and may never resurface. (I am obsessed with musicals and world mythos, and this is hitting all of my special interests at once) I know other people have done their versions of this, so this is mine.

What if when Jon goes to space, there isn't a dimensional time difference? What if each second of those six years of absence is felt by those who love him?

They all search for Superboy, tirelessly, relentlessly, but they can't find him. The Justice League, the Green Lantern Corp, and every ally they have ever made across space and time look for a child lost in the stars. And they all fail.

Clark never stops searching even though they all beg him to.

Lois mourns but still prepares for her son's return.

Konner and Kara pick up what is left behind because the world didn't stop needing their help when Jonathan Kent dissappears, but they ache in their grief.

Damian just stops.

After six months go by with no news, he gets desperate, studies magic and science for a way to bring his best friend home. It never works, and every empty lead and false hope breaks him.

So Damian searches and waits.

He joins Clark on his search in any way he is able, defying his father. He stays with Lois when Superman travels too far for him to follow. He sits in Jons kitchen and eats at his table consumed with longing.

When Clark comes home empty-handed each time, Damian holds them both as they cry in his too small arms. Lois and Clark thank him every time. Look at Damian and see a boy who believes just as much as they do that Jon lives still, that he will be back, that misses him.

All three hope.

Jon didn't plan to be gone long, didn't leave purposefully, or give any of them momentos. Everything he ever owned looks as he left it, ready for when he returns. His books, his clothes, his unmade bed.

Damian doesn't try to return to normalcy without Jon at his side.

Even when his father threatens to take Robin from him if he does not return to Gotham, Damian just rips the symbol from his chest and leaves the cave. What is the point of being a hero without Jon beside him? They promised they would do that together, and Damian would not betray him.

The rest of the batfamily try to encourage him to take a new name, a new team, or make new friends, but Damian refuses every attempt. He will do those things with Jon when he returns, not a second sooner.

When Bruce tells him he is waiting on a ghost, Damian feels his heart break, and he leaves permanently. Jon wouldn't be welcome in Gotham, anyway. Not with the no meta rule.

Lois and Clark take him in. So Lois is never alone, and they can wait together.

Clark refuses to give Damian back to Bruce. Damian asked to stay, and Clark will be damned if ever lets a child leave again if they dont want to. Bruce loses his temper and accuses him of using Damian to replace his dead son. Batman and Superman don't speak to each other again for a long time.

Talia, surprisingly, gives them temporary custody. She understands Damians longing and will never forsake any part of him he inherited from her.

Nightwing and the others visit the Kent house weekly and accept that Damian will not leave. They learn to be a better sort of family, loving their brother and starting to hope again for his sake. All of the bats, besides Bruce, have dinner with Lois and Clark twice a month. The seat beside Damian is always left empty.

Damians pets join him at Kent Farm, and Damian can't help but greive because this is the future he and Jon used to joke about under their covers during sleepovers. They used to imagine living together with as many animals as they wanted and building somewhere safe to come home to.

At least Damian can have one of Jons dreams waiting for him.

He never mentions how Jon used to joke about marrying him one day, a childish proposal sealed in a pinky promise while Damian rolled his eyes. He remembers the way Jon pecked his lips afterwards. The memories burn now.

Damian realised long ago that he is in love with Jon. He will tell him one day.

After some time, Lois encourages him to go back to school. When she sees how bored he is, she gets him placement tests, and when he tests out, she sets him up at an online university. He accomplishes degree after degree and starts to help Lois with her research. They take down several corrupt labs and corporations together.

Damian goes to med school after seeing how many die without proper care while working with Lois. Damian hopes that Jon will be proud of him for still saving people, even if it's different without him.

They all still search. They all still cry when they find nothing. They all still wait.

Then one day, Jonathan Kent returns.

The Watchtower picks him up, and Dick calls them as soon as it happens. Lois and Damian are home at the time and rush to the Zeta tube with a desperate speed.

Clark is already waiting for them when they arrive.

They walk, the three of them, on shaky legs, holding their breath.

When Damian opens the door, he can't believe his eyes.

"Jon."

The man turns, and Damian freezes, beside him Lois sobs.

He is taller, Damian, despite his growth spurt still has to look up at him. His hair is longer, his black curls almost in his eyes. He has lost his baby fat and instead grown broader and more defined. There is a scar on his jaw and Damian dreads to think how he got it. His eyes, though, are the same bright blue, tired and heavy as they look.

Clark and Lois embrace their son falling to their knees, but Damian stays back until they are done.

Jon hugs his parents tightly, and when they come back to reality, Lois whispers in his ear too softly for Damian to hear, but Clark smiles at them and turns to look at Damian.

Then, Jon breaks the hug and walks towards him.

"Damian." He says as he reaches for him, voice so full of emotion that Damian wants to cry.

"Is it you? Is it really you, habibi?"

"I'm not the same as I was, I don't think I could ever be. With everything I've seen and everything I've done." Jon starts hesitantly.

"I killed, I hurt people, I tricked, I manipulated, I did everything I could to come back home, to come back to you." He admits. Jon looks away in shame, and Damian can't bear it. "I'm not what you were expecting."

He closes the distance and grabs Jons face.

"I don't care!"

"But-"

"No, you remember what you promised me?!" Damian demands.

"Of course! That we'd be heroes together."

"And?"

Jon blushes. "And that I'd build you a farm, give you a safe place to come home to." He swallows nervously, "That I would marry you one day."

Damian smiles so wide, uncaring of the tears running down his face. "I have waited for six years in your house, on our farm for my future husband."

Jon gasps, but Damian continues.

"I love you, Jonathan Kent, I don't care what you have done or will do. I don't care if you're different, grown, or anything else. You are mine."

Damian takes a breath and stares into his eyes. "In this life and the next, I will always wait for you. I dont care how long or what you had to do. You came back to me, and that is all that is important."

Jonathan closes the distance between them and kisses him, pouring passion, desperation, and astonishing love into it.

When he draws back, he whispers against his lips desperately, "Always, my love. I love you, I love you so much. I will do anything to bring me back to you, oh god. Damian."

Damian feels something unwind in his chest and pulls Jon closer still. They'd never let go of each other again. Here, in Jon's arms, Damian felt whole for the first time in years.

"I missed you every moment," Jon says finally.

"Me too."

[apricustar]

hii jd! in your kitchen scene post you mention that buck and eddie are incompatible on how they handle emotions and communicate and stuff which on some level i understand because we’ve seen how their conflicts play out but i was hoping you could maybe explain? no pressure you just explain things in a way that makes sense to me ❤️

hi nonnie <3 thank you so much for this—i’m really touched you asked, and i’m happy to explain! (the og post for anyone wanting to read)

when i say buck and eddie are “incompatible” in how they handle emotions and communicate, i don’t mean that in a hopeless or negative way. it’s not that they can’t work—it’s that they move differently, shaped by their respective pasts, and sometimes that causes them to be emotionally out of sync.

buck is an internalizer; this is where we see people misunderstanding and mislabeling him as selfish. he turns inward and attributes whatever is happening around him to something he did wrong. even when it’s not about him, he makes it about him—not out of ego, but because that’s what he was conditioned to do. a good example of this is in season 5, when chimney leaves to find maddie. buck is grappling with several layers of guilt, fear, and self-blame:

he’s holding residual guilt over maddie leaving—he knows exactly why she left, but he's telling himself: i should have seen it sooner. i could have done more. i could have prevented this.

he’s also feeling responsible for chim leaving—not because anyone says it’s his fault, but he’s the one sitting in the firehouse absorbing the silence, the grief, the shift in dynamic. and because buck reads emotional atmosphere like weather, he interprets that silence as blame.

and underneath all of it is the deeper fear—one that’s lived in him for years—that he’s the problem. again. that his presence hurts the people he loves. that he ruins things just by being there.

so no, buck doesn’t think he made maddie or chim leave, but he feels like he failed to stop it. like he should’ve known, should’ve fixed it, should’ve held things together better than he did—and because he couldn’t, he assumes everyone resents him for it. no one says it’s his fault—but buck feels it like it is. because blame—even misplaced—gives him something to hold. it gives him a reason, a narrative, a way to make sense of loss. if it’s his fault, then maybe there’s something he can do to fix it. maybe next time, he can be enough to stop it from happening again.

eddie is buck’s opposite: he externalizes. when something hurts, he pushes it outward. he doesn’t always know how to sit with his emotions, doesn’t always have the language to explain them—so it comes out sideways. it comes out as frustration and misdirection.

buck takes on other people’s emotions and makes them his fault; eddie takes his own emotions and filters them through the people around him. buck internalizes distress. eddie displaces it. buck thinks, “what did i do?” eddie doesn’t say it outright—but what slips through is, “why aren’t you showing up for me the way i need?” and neither of them knows how to say that out loud.

so when eddie lashes out, it’s not usually about the thing he’s saying. he’s not lying, exactly—but he’s not telling the full truth either. the fight in the grocery store during the lawsuit arc? when he says,“you’re exhausting”—that’s not really about buck. that’s eddie talking about himself. he’s exhausted: christopher is having nightmares about the tsunami and shannon, eddie’s been arrested, and above all—buck hasn’t been around. eddie's been holding everything together by himself and it’s too much, but he doesn’t know how to say that, so he says something cruel instead.

same with sob stories this season where he tells buck if he's going to make him choose between chris or him, he'll lose every time. buck never asked him to choose. never implied that was the case. but that’s what eddie feels like he’s choosing between: buck, LA, the life he’s tried to rebuild—and the terrifying pull of leaving it behind to fix what’s fractured between him and his son. eddie’s not mad at buck—he’s overwhelmed and scared. and once again, it comes out wrong.

and the thing is—they both mean well. they’re both doing their best with the tools they have, shaped by upbringings that didn’t teach them how to be vulnerable safely. buck wants to be enough. eddie wants to be understood. but the way they express those needs can make them miss each other entirely. they love differently. they cope differently. they react differently.

but what makes their relationship so beautiful is that despite these differences, they keep trying. they don’t give up on understanding each other—even when it’s hard, even when it hurts. where one falters, the other finds footing. where one pulls away, the other stays close. they meet each other—perhaps not perfectly or cleanly, but truly.

love is not easy; it’s not effortless. it’s something that requires work—something that asks for patience, grace, and the willingness to try. you keep choosing your partner, again and again and again, even when its hard. and that’s what buck and eddie do. in all their messiness, all their misfires—they keep choosing each other, keep trying with one another, keep showing up—because even when they miss each other in the moment, they never stop trying to find their way back.

[simpin4whitney]

Cheating on Kirishima

Your boyfriend was the best.

You wouldn't find a more affectionate adoring and spoiling man on Earth. You were a firm believer of him being the actual kindest person in the history of mankind.

This man spent countless nights with you revising for your tests, he was there to ask you questions and quiz you, he even pulled a few all-nighters himself to study the topic so that he could better tutor you on things you didn't fully understand.

He planned the most thoughtful dates, always making sure you enjoyed yourself, catering to your interests and hobbies, gladly spending the whole day doing something you liked even if the only thing he got out of it was your company.

Every time you needed a pick me up or wavered in your confidence he was there to remind you how amazing of a person you were. How inspiring and admiration worthy. How beautiful and smart and funny... he never seemed to run out of compliments and they all felt equally truthful.

Not once did a single doubt cross your mind when it came to his love for you. Honestly, you'd sooner believe the Loch Ness monster was gonna show up at your door than the idea of your perfect boyfriend not loving you with all his heart.

Even your intimate life was without a fault. You took time getting to know each other before sleeping together for the first time and when you did, Kiri was caring and considerate and made you feel better than you ever have before, an experience that would then serve as an example for all the future times. He was a selfless lover, focused on your pleasure and comfort at all times.

Truly, in every possible way your boyfriend was the best.

So what drove you to the dark unlit room, into that bed, your legs spread and hooked around the waist of his best friend, hands reaching over his wide back as he rocked his hips into yours over and over again, head nestled in the little valley between your shoulder and your neck, grunting desperately in your ear.

How did you end up there, tugging at the man's hair to make him lift his head so that you could crash your lips against his in an attempt to get even closer, even deeper within each other.

He moves his hand to your throat, grabbing at it and pulling you into him, closer still, even though there was nowhere closer to go unless he swallowed you whole.

It was always like this. Since the very first time it always went the same. You'd paw at each other, quick breaths and hungry touches, acting like even a second not spent intertwined would prove deadly to the both of you.

Sometimes, after it was over, you'd feel guilty. When you were laying next to each other, your sweaty tired body framed by his, big arms holding onto your waist, gripping you tightly even as his unconscious breaths tickled the back of your neck.

At those times your stomach would sink at the thought of your sweet boyfriend at home. Probably thinking about you and wondering how your day was, hoping you'll be telling him about it in the evening, or excitedly planning a new way to surprise you, new way to show you just how much you mean to him, how much he loves you.

At those times you'd look at Bakugou's face and feel guilt so intense it would eat its way out of your stomach, up your chest and throat and it would all burn in a way that made your eyes sting.

But wasn't he wrong too? You'd think to yourself. He was his best friend after all. Wasn't his betrayal equally as serious as yours? Or worse even? They've known each other longer than you'd been dating. Did that add to the gravity of his actions? Did it weigh on him like it did on you?

He never looked too worried when you saw him but then again when you did he rarely focused on anything other than your bodies and the different ways you could make each other moan and whine and feel good.

Even just thinking about it made you all hot and bothered again. Made you feel desperate, like you couldn't breathe until you got back to his dark room and exchanged pleasure but not words.

That was the deal, unspoken one like what thoughts you two had on the whole thing. No words, no lights, like the secrecy made it any better. Like the fact you weren't moaning his name meant you weren't moaning For him.

Your skin crawls as you catch yourself thinking back to your last meeting just a few days ago. One where Bakugou broke the rules of your already fragile arrangement.

It was after the whole thing was done. You were laying on top of him, arms snaked around his shoulders, hair sticking to your face as he slowly rubbed your back, the silence stretching encompassing the moment and keeping you safe in a bubble away from the real world.

Until he opened his mouth.

,,He got a ring."

A heavy pause as the words hung in the air.

,,I know."

You were the worst.

[osamusbigtits]

osamu sits in the office, a pout prominent on his face. he barely listens to his mom and the principle talking about him, instead looking out the window at the rest of his class playing outside.

atsumu sits next to him, refusing to go outside if osamu wouldn't be able to either.

atsumu speaks up to defend osamu's actions, only to be chastised by the principle.

"why did you punch that boy, osamu?" the twins' mom asks on their way out. she decided to take the boys out of school early. they never did well after behavioral issues anyway. or that's what their teacher says.

"I told you, ma," atsumu says.

osamu hears his mom's deep sigh and he curls in on himself.

he doesn't regret punching that boy. talking shit about his family, insulting atsumu and claiming their behavior was due to lack of a father. and maybe osamu was itching for a fight the whole day, a way to release all his anger and the kid was an easy excuse, especially after he had pushed atsumu.

but, osamu hates to see his mom disappointed. the past two years have been hard for all of them, ever since the twins' dad just walked out. and osamu knows something is wrong but can't quite place it in his limited vocabulary and emotional regulation skills at 10 years old.

but he knows the fear that he feels when his mom gets upset. the fear that she'll leave just as dad did.

"sorry, mama," osamu says, voice shaking.

he doesn't know why he has these outbursts. he doesn't know why it feels like an easy answer to hurt a kid. he doesn't know all the feelings he has. but it makes him feel better to know atsumu has his back. and it makes him upset to his mom frown.

the twins' mom crouches down in front of osamu, trying to meet his eyes. "you don't have to say sorry to me. you should apologize to that boy tomorrow, okay?" osamu nods, his bottom lip starts to quiver. "I made you an appointment. one that might help you with what's going on. I'm sorry I didn't help sooner."

osamu looks up at his mom, with big wet eyes. "no, mama, you don't have to apologize to me."

she smiles, although it doesn't look happy. she kisses his forehead and sends the boys to play.

osamu doesn't understand why she said it. but when he's older, he'll look back at this moment often.

[caffedrine]

Keith Howell Sequel 14 Dramatic Route - Fan Translation

If you trust me to know what I'm doing, then we have both made a huge mistake. I cannot guarantee accuracy for this fan translation, or even grammatical correctness.

Please support Cybird and pick up this event when it makes it to the English Server

Once again, I was in the usual forest.

The thick clouds that had covered the sky for some time had scattered, and patches of blue sky peeked through.

The other half, who had been waiting in the shadowed area beneath the overlapping trees, gave a glance and then turned his gaze back deep into the forest.

—It’s been a while since we last met. I wonder if you’ve been well.

(Yeah, where has he been?)

Alter!Keith “You don’t even need to ask.”

—You don’t look like you’re at your best.

Alter!Keith “……”

—I thought you’d show up sooner. —You must’ve been on edge when Emma pretended to be dead and acted as bait, right?

Alter!Keith “As long as I’m within range to protect Emma when it really counts, that’s enough.”

Alter!Keith “If anything, I was more worried about you.”

—Me?

Alter!Keith “You wanted to kill him, didn’t you?”

—Ah………

Alter!Keith “If I hadn’t stopped you, you definitely would’ve done it.”

—Yeah…… you might be right.

Alter!Keith “You lose all restraint when you snap.”

~Flashback~

Kagari “But stopping my excessive actions is your role, isn’t it?”

Keith “…What are you talking about?”

Kagari “I wasn’t talking to you.”

~End Flashback~

—…I see. That was directed at you.

Alter!Keith “It’s irritating, though.”

Alter!Keith “You usually act all spineless, yet every now and then, it’s like you become a different person.”

Alter!Keith “You were ready to go after that assassin, and even Amagase’s older brother—you would’ve finished him off if the situation had been more clear-cut, right?”

—That’s… true……

Alter!Keith “You always tell me I go too far… but are you really one to talk?”

Criticized, I withered like a weed that missed its sunlight.

—I’m sorry.

Alter!Keith “Yeah, you better reflect on that.”

Alter!Keith “…Though I can’t really talk either.”

—I once thought something similar, long ago.

—When Tio was killed, and I had to face the king’s younger brother—who was living like nothing had happened—back at the castle…

—I remember wondering: Why is this guy still alive?

Alter!Keith “You desperately wanted to kill him. But you couldn’t do it.”

—Yeah… every time that urge welled up, you would always show up.

—…

—Were you… stopping me?

Alter!Keith “You only just realized that?”

My other half gave a mocking smile and shrugged in exasperation.

Alter!Keith “You’re too sloppy. If you’re going to kill someone, don’t leave behind evidence.”

—Shouldn’t it be ‘Don’t kill’?

Alter!Keith “I am you. Of course I wanted to kill him too.”

—…I see.

Alter!Keith “The only difference is that I thought about what comes after the killing.”

Alter!Keith “If anyone lays a hand on Emma again… we’ll have to handle it cleanly, right?”

—…If the calm version of you hadn’t been there, I might’ve killed someone regardless of my position.

—And if that had happened, Mireille, the king… and even Emma would’ve all ended up miserable.

—I always thought you were someone who would protect me…

—But maybe you were also the reason and restraint meant to stop me.

Alter!Keith “Who knows.”

—Thank you… for everything.

The moment I said those words, it was as if time had stopped. Silence fell over the scene.

The other half, who had stubbornly kept his gaze fixed deep in the forest, finally met my eyes.

Alter!Keith “Are you an idiot?”

—Why?

Alter!Keith “If I were really your reason…”

Alter!Keith “…I wouldn’t have scared Emma like that.”

—…You’ve been thinking about that all this time?

Alter!Keith “…………”

—I understand now why you haven’t been feeling like yourself.

After a long, heavy silence, as if carefully selecting the right words from within, a quiet exhale softened the tension, like easing the mood in the air.

—How about this?

—When I go too far, you stop me. When you go too far, I stop you.

—Each of us becomes the other’s reason.

Alter!Keith “Huh?”

—I am you, and you are me.

—If I think you’re in the wrong, I’ll stop you. And if you think I’m in the wrong, you’ll stop me.

—That way, maybe we’ll finally get close to “perfect.”

Alter!Keith “…………”

—And if becoming perfect is what it takes to make Emma truly happy… —Then we have no reason not to cooperate, right?

I held out my hand to him as he remained silent, a crease between his brows.

He didn’t take my hand—but the stiff expression on his face gave way to a faint, weary smile.

Alter!Keith “Can’t be helped… I’ll remember that.”

—Thank you. I’ll be counting on you from now on, too.

Alter!Keith “You’re so…” “…so kind, it almost makes me pity you.”

A beam of sunlight pierced through a break in the clouds, and it felt like the gloomy world had regained its brightness.

At a detached building in a certain castle.

Azel “Kagari, do you have a fever or something? Shall I nurse you?”

Kagari “No. Why?”

Azel “Because the dorayaki fanatic that you are is trying to serve us something other than dorayaki.”

Azel “Ah, how pitiful. You must be feeling unwell.”

Azel “I can offer you a Divine Spirit Support First-Aid Kit at half price—”

Matias “Azel… the way you shamelessly try to butter people up is honestly refreshing.”

Kagari “All you’ll get out of me is matcha.”

Kagari straightened his posture and poured warm water into a teacup. A gentle steam rose.

The deep green of the matcha was whisked into a froth with a chasen, creating tiny bubbles that formed and disappeared.

The slightly bitter aroma of the tea filled the room, giving the space a quiet gravity that straightened the backs of everyone present.

Matias “By the way, Azel, have you finished your business?”

Azel “Yes. I was only here to boost the soldiers’ morale.”

Azel “I did send something from Tanzanite, but if it proves useless, Kagari might get mad at me.”

Kagari “I won’t get mad.”

Azel “Ah, how merciful of you.”

Kagari “They’re soldiers from a country without war. I never expected much from the beginning.”

Kagari “But…”

Azel “They’re surprisingly capable, aren’t they?”

Kagari “Why?”

Azel “Well, of course—they are blessed by the gods.”

Kagari “I see. That’s amazing.”

Matias “Don’t just accept that. That explanation doesn’t make any logical sense.”

Matias “Is Tanzanite preparing for war or something?”

Azel “Of course not. Unlike a certain demon or rampaging noble, I don’t like blood.”

Azel “Besides, if we were to go to war, our opponent would be Jade, wouldn’t it...?”

Azel “There’s no chance of winning. We’d get utterly crushed and that’d be the end of it.”

Matias “…Then why are your soldiers so highly trained? I’d like to know, just for reference.”

Azel “Matias, didn’t I tell you before?”

Azel “My words are reality made manifest, God can see the future.”

Azel “If you can see the future, it’s easy to make preparations in advance.”

Azel “I’m glad Kagari approves.”

Matias “The future you can see, is it a matter of years? Decades?”

Kagari “I’m surprised.”

Azel “Reassuring to have me on your side, isn’t it? I’m a capable god, so please continue to rely on me forever.”

Matias “You really are something else. Once that plan is complete, you’ll help me, won’t you?”

Azel “Yes, that’s the agreement.”

Matias “Very reassuring.”

Azel “Did you manage to gain any useful information, Matias?”

Matias “Unfortunately, it looks like it was a wasted trip. And I’m nearly out of time.”

Matias “But the scales of justice are fair. Even without rushing, the time for judgment will come.”

Matias “With divine blessing, even time that had stagnated will begin to move. I’m counting on it.”

Azel “Leave it to me. And Matias, you’re generous, so flattering you is never a waste.”

Kagari sets down the chasen and offers the freshly made matcha to his guests.

Azel “Thank you. Kagari, were you able to get what you wanted out of the goodwill gathering?”

Kagari “Yeah.”

Kagari “I rooted out the enemies within my own faction, and thanks to you and Keith, I earned the trust of the people. That’s more than enough.”

Matias “Speaking of Keith, that performance of his was impressive.”

Azel “Kagari, don’t forget how many uninvited guests I identified during that play, okay?”

Kagari “I remember. I’ll express my gratitude in gold.”

Azel “As expected of Prince Kagari. Thank you—I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.”

Matias “Still, something doesn’t quite sit right with me.”

Matias “Kougyoku is currently engulfed in an intensifying civil war. You must have known that inviting Jade would come with risks.”

Matias “This time just happened to work out—but only in hindsight. There were moments along the way that nearly gave us heart attacks.”

Matias “Were those two reasons truly the only objectives of the goodwill gathering?”

Kagari “…………”

Kagari “There was one more.”

Kagari “I heard that Keith got engaged.”

Azel “Please, for the honeymoon destination, anywhere but Tanzanite. I’ll get heartburn.”

Matias “Isn’t that a bit premature? Were you planning to give him a wedding gift or something?”

Kagari “I just wanted to see her for myself.”

Matias “Meet his fiancée?”

Kagari “Yes. Keith may appear ordinary, but he’s not.”

Kagari “But my worries were unfounded. I have no regrets.”

Azel “Kagari, you really care about your friends, don’t you?”

Kagari “Do I?”

Matias “Did you really need to confirm that at this moment?”

Kagari “Yes.”

Prompted by Kagari’s gaze, Azel and Matias each lifted their teacups and took a sip of the matcha.

After watching them, Kagari also calmly picked up his own teacup and wet his lips with the tea.

Kagari “You don’t get to choose the timing of your own death.”

~Later~

Sometime after daily life had returned to normal in Jade—

Keith, having finally finished the mountain of work that had piled up like a range of mountains, was granted a rare day off.

Keith “Emma… um, I know I’ve probably said this a hundred times already, but… I’m sorry.”

Emma “...Ah, please don’t apologize. It just makes me feel embarrassed.”

I sat down beside Keith, which had become my usual spot, and leaned into his warmth.

I could feel his gaze lingering on my chest, and my cheeks grew hot in response.

(There’s no way I can go out in public today.)

(…Keith probably left so many marks on purpose.)

This morning, I had actually let out a weird scream when I looked in the mirror—there were just that many love marks.

The darker ones were clearly from Alter!Keith. The lighter ones, I could tell, were from his gentler side.

Keith “To leave this many marks… that guy…well, I’m in no position to criticize either.”

His finger traced over the marks gently, almost as if caring for me.

[Choose your response:]

That tickles

Can I leave some on you too?

I won’t forgive you

Emma “Keith, can I leave some on you too?”

Keith “Leave some… you mean marks?”

Emma “It’s not fair if only you get to, right?”

(I want to leave something behind, too.)

When I looked up at him, Keith gave a sheepish, wobbly smile.

Keith “Of course—you’re more than welcome. Not just one, go ahead and leave ten… or even a hundred if you want.”

Emma “A hundred would be a bit much, don’t you think!?”

Keith “…Yeah, you’d have your work cut out for you.”

The thought made us both laugh, our shoulders shaking together.

In the warm, flowery atmosphere, I leaned in close to his neck and softly kissed his skin, remembering the night before.

(Right… there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.)

(He’s been so busy lately, I hadn’t found the right moment…)

Emma “Keith… do you remember this?”

I pointed to a particularly prominent mark, and Keith fell silent for a moment.

Keith “Ah… yeah, I remember it, kind of…”

Keith “But still, I get the feeling that parts of my memory are missing.”

Keith “Even so, I can remember more than I used to.”

Keith “I’ll get back to normal eventually.”

(He’s not just saying that to comfort me… I’m glad.)

The mischievous version of Keith had started appearing again ever since we returned to Jade.

I had carried guilt for hurting him during that attack for a long time.

But now, we’re back to the point where we can love each other without issue.

(Even so… the problem both Keiths are facing still isn’t resolved.) (The fact that this problem was caused by me hasn't changed.) (And I know the only way to solve it is for me to leave.) (To be honest, there were times I wondered if I really should go…) (But still…)

Emma “Mmm… what a lovely scent.”

———A few weeks ago, right after we returned to Jade, I visited the greenhouse with Keith.

The flowers and greenery, no less beautiful than cherry blossoms, welcomed us gently.

After enduring so many hardships, returning to our daily life filled me with a joy so deep that it took my words away.

Keith “Ah… Emma. Look over there.”

Keith suddenly stopped and placed his hand on my shoulder, pointing to a spot in front of us.

Blooming there was a rose from Rhodolite—quite rare in Jade.

Keith had ordered and planted it just for me, and now it had blossomed.

My heart, already full to bursting, ached even more.

Emma “There wasn’t even a single bud before we left… It’s beautiful.”

Keith “Yeah, it really is.”

Keith “Looks like a few other flowers bloomed while we were away, too.”

Emma “You’re right… It sounds fun to go around and find them all, one by one.”

(It’s strange. Sharing these simple joys with him makes everything that happened in Crimson feel like a distant memory.) (Even though it wasn’t so long ago… it already feels like 'nothing too serious.') (It must be because the daily life I spend with Keith has returned safely.) (…No matter what hardships come our way, as long as this daily life remains—)

As I closed my eyes and savored this happiness that had come back to me, a gentle warmth wrapped around my body…

Emma “Keith?”

Keith “Sorry, I just suddenly wanted to hold you.”

His strong arms wrapped around my back, and I could feel his warmth slowly seeping into me.

(Ah… I’m so happy.)

Emma “Please, hold me as much as you want.”

I wrapped my arms around him too, closing the gap between us. Our heartbeats overlapped.

The dappled sunlight, the sweet scent of the flowers, and Keith’s warmth—

Everything I love is here in this moment.

Emma “…Hehe.”

Keith “What’s with the smile?”

Emma “Of course, it’s my ‘I’m so happy’ smile.”

Keith “…………………………………I really love seeing you like that, Emma-san.”

Emma “Eh… um, thank you very much.”

Keith “Y-You’re welcome…?”

It must have slipped out unintentionally—Keith looked slightly embarrassed.

(So cute… Keith, who is not only dependable but also this adorable, is someone I love too.)

When I nuzzled my cheek against him, a soft, ticklish laugh escaped from him and drifted into the air.

Keith “When I’m with you, I get this overwhelming urge to tell you how much I love you. With words… and in other ways too.”

Keith “So please, don’t leave me. Let me love you for the rest of my life.”

Keith “If you’re not with me, I can hardly even breathe.”

Keith “…I don’t want to lose you again.”

Keith “Emma?”

Emma “Ah, sorry, I zoned out for a moment.”

(Keith’s words from that day have been stuck in my mind ever since.)

(…There may be times when I end up causing him pain again.) (Times when I’ll think, ‘It’s my fault…’) (Our true love is imperfect, and sometimes it bares its fangs.) (Even so, the fact remains: our happiness can’t exist without each other.) (Even if being together brings us pain sometimes, I can’t overcome that pain without Keith and the others.)

Keith “Wait… are you feeling tired because of us?”

Emma “Fufu, not at all.”

Just like that day, I wrapped my arms around Keith and embraced him, letting our warmth mingle.

Emma “I was just savoring this happiness.”

As I offered him the heart I had left after all we’d been through, Keith responded with a soft, blooming smile—

(Even if the pain never ends… I will never let go of this true love.)

[dandelion-wings]

This one has a warning for referenced childhood sexual assault (and a slight side of omegaverse sexism/purity culture), because this thing's origin as a Discord kick-around means that it was a very self-indulgent 'dump all the worst possible things into a blorbo's backstory' idea from the start, and that was enough of the fun of it that I didn't want to strip it out!

(Though this particular snippet is thanks to my co-kicker, who responded to me going 'and Jean was never told any of this [backstory horror]' with 'yeah but Jean is an adult now and I bet she could figure it out.')

---

Jean isn't surprised by Kaeya's leave request. She can smell him in the mansion, the shift in his scent towards oncoming heat. Not the regular, healthy, yearly heat that had passed four months ago, but the sour-edged flare of an unexpected stress-heat. Unexpected, at least, to her.

She could guess why even without Lisa's pointed comments, and she's sorry that he and Diluc have managed to wind each other up to this point. They *should* have talked to each other sooner. But neither of them will, and Jean can't force them. She could have spoken to Diluc about his behavior, but that would only have fed the rumors they're still trying to tamp down, and Kaeya wouldn't have appreciated the interference. Maybe she should have anyway.

"I'll write you off for a week," she tells him, reaching for the paperwork. "Do you want me to stay at Lisa's for the duration?" He's always refused to let her give him the mansion before, but a heat like this is different, and he's wound up tight already. Her presence might be too overwhelming.

"There's no need for that. I won't be spending it at your place. Adelinde says I'm welcome at the Dawn Winery, and I'm in the mood for her hospitality."

He's not going to the Dawn Winery because of Adelinde, much as Jean knows he loves her. If that was the case, he would have spent his heats there for the last three years. The only thing that's changed is Diluc, and if Kaeya wants to go back there *now*-

"Have you spoken to Diluc about this?" She knows he hasn't, but she has to hope. "Now that he is home safe, this can't be that urgent. You could wait until your next true heat."

When he won't be as on-edge, as irritable, as wound up and anxious and ready to vent all that tension on any available target. As *miserable*. Heats like these are said to be so, and he's spent the past few days proving that true. That misery might be why the first attempt for an heir went so badly, and doesn't bode well for this one.

But she isn't surprised when he shakes his head. "That's a bit too far away for me."

Jean can understand that. If that eight-month stretch is anything like this past two.... She would *like* them to wait, to talk, to make plans calmer and more thoughtful than the ones Kaeya had told her of three years ago, when he'd asked her if she knew anywhere in the city that he could stay. She, however, isn't privy to their bond and the emotions passing through it. That span of time may indeed be unbearable.

"All right. If you need anything from me, please don't hesitate to ask. No matter what or when."

"Not going to tell me this is a bad idea?" he asks, with an odd, wry smile.

"No. I cannot criticize your choices if I cannot offer you better ones."

Technically, Jean could spare him this. She's the one alpha in Mondstadt at present who has a chance of winning a challenge against Diluc--who might well throw it to her, if she told him this was the reason. But to do that is only to doom Kaeya to the same fate all over again, for the Gunnhildr line, too, will eventually need a heir. Add in Lisa, with her warm smile and bright eyes and clever mind, and there's no offer she can make him that they wouldn't eventually resent each other for. Diluc and Kaeya have spent years proving how corrosive that can be. It's not a better option.

"Huh." She can see the same line of thought flashing across his face, and then his smile grows more fond, if still wry. "That's why you're my favorite. I'll have the quartermaster's office ready for my absence by tomorrow."

Then he takes his forms and leaves, cape swirling behind him.

***

He's not at home when Jean and Lisa arrive that night, winding down a very pleasant date. Jean doesn't think anything of that; they often arrange for him to be gone when Lisa intends their evening to be particularly loud, or just wants to make out half-naked on the couch in the less-formal parlor. Tonight it's both, and after they fall into bed together wrung-out and pleasantly exhausted.

At breakfast the next morning, Lisa says, idly, "Do you mind if I stay here for the next week, cutie?"

"Of course not. Did Kaeya tell you that he was going to be gone?"

"More or less." Lisa puts her toast down and looks at Jean with a seriousness that makes Jean's stomach flutter uneasily. "I did make a promise on your behalf, so it's only good manners to pull my weight in fulfilling it. Besides, it's a good excuse to enjoy your company."

"What was the promise?" Jean sets down her own knife and fork.

"That if Kaeya wants to come home, he can, no matter the reason. Including any threats he needs to be defended from."

Jean's throat goes dry. She knows what theories Lisa has been spinning since Diluc first showed up, despite Jean's careful explanations, despite Kaeya fondly softening the edges of memories that even Jean knows weren't quite so pleasant. In the end the only defense that Jean has is that *she knows Diluc*, and while that knowledge has shifted in three years of absence, she knew the Diluc of then. Impulsive at times, careless at times, but always with a noble heart and good intentions at the core.

"Diluc isn't a threat to him," she tells Lisa, with the conviction that doesn't always matter when Lisa has decided she's being naive. "He is of course still welcome here whenever he wishes, whether... matters... are concluded or not. But... he wouldn't be fleeing Diluc."

"No," Lisa says a little sharply. "He only flees when anyone responds to one of his trite little lines with more than a blush. Or makes an innuendo stronger than his own. Or tries to kiss him, unless you've forgotten last Windblume."

"That's not-"

'True' is wrong; Jean has not, in fact, forgotten last Windblume, nor Kaeya and Sucrose's mutual mortification when they'd both sobered up. If Sucrose wasn't a Vision-user, that incident would have been much worse. 'Diluc's fault' is her next instinctive answer, and Jean still believes it absolutely true. For the first time, though, it leaves her with the question of where the fault may lie. Because she can't blame it on their one loathed encounter; Kaeya has *always* been that way. Diluc, in fact, has always been the one to defend him, fierce in proportion to Kaeya's alarm.

Ever since Kaeya's return from Sumeru, at least. Jean had only met him once before he'd fled there, since the Ragnvindrs traditionally spent the winter on the Winery, and he had stowed away on Crepus' first ship out. She knows from Diluc's own mouth that he'd been the opposite of a defender before that. He had stayed with them while Crepus took ship to pursue his errant ward, and Jean had been the one to comfort him when he'd told her, white-faced and guilt-stricken, of his certainty that Kaeya had run away because he'd been unkind. Childish unkindnesses, slammed fingers and locked closets and ruined clothes, not anything that would have caused such fear. *That* had so clearly seemed a result of what happened in Sumeru.

Which Jean also knows little of, except that there had been bandits, and Kaeya had been bedbound for a month, had taken a year to fully be able to walk again, and had permanently lost his right eye. And--she hasn't thought about this for years, since it hadn't mattered once Diluc, impulsive as always, had bitten him in that disastrous attempt to repair his petty wrongs--that Master Crepus, halfway through the adoption paperwork when Kaeya left, had quietly withdrawn his application. Still stood as his ward, but had no longer wanted him as a Ragnvindr son.

There could have been be other reasons. Jean prays there were other reasons. But while most of Mondstadt doesn't care in this era, among the rich landholders with whom Master Crepus commonly dealt, old, outdated standards matter all the more, to distinguish them from the common and poor. And those are the sorts of people among whom Master Crepus would have intended to find his sons their mates.

"Not what?" Lisa asks, breaking Jean from her horrified reverie. She's watching Jean with a shrewd gaze.

"Not Diluc's fault," Jean says at last, even more firmly than before. Not that she can back that up either. Kaeya would hate for her to tell Lisa even about what she's certain of, the injuries he'd come back with; to speculate further behind his back would be unconscionable. It isn't a question she can ask him, either, or that he'd answer if she did.

"Not intentionally, maybe," Lisa says, in a tone making very clear that it's a concession.

And Jean still can't argue without giving others' secrets away. "Not intentionally," she agrees, in equal concession. "As you say, Kaeya is welcome home whenever he wishes to come. And if you wish to stay the week, you will be welcome too. Very welcome indeed." She pushes her plate away, all her appetite gone, and stands. "I'm late for training."

"Jean...." Lisa looks up at her and shakes her head, then smiles ruefully. "Can I steal a goodbye kiss?"

"Of course," Jean says. As if she could ever refuse Lisa that. She comes around the table, leans in, and lingers for a moment in the soft press of Lisa's lips, the familiar ozone-scent and static of her, the comfort of her hand on Jean's arm.

Then, reluctantly, she pulls away, and goes to dress for the day's duties. No matter what may or may not have happened nine years ago, no matter what may or may not happen in the week upcoming, she still has a city to serve. She can't help anyone she loves by neglecting the rest of Mondstadt.

Kicking around a new omegaverse scenario on Discord last night/this morning (I make. so many omegaverses. that I am gradually trying to uncringe enough about to actually talk about) and was just seized with the need for Lisa's POV about it, mostly because "Lisa sees Kaeya's reaction vs. Jean's reaction to Diluc's return and tries to decide whether she needs to do a subtle murder or not" is a trope I made up myself for me but nonetheless absolutely adore. So:

---

It's a lovely day out, a warm sun cut with just enough of a breeze to keep her from getting sweaty, so Lisa has insisted on tea out in the gardens below the Ordo instead of indoors. Jean isn't joining them this afternoon, which is a shame, but Eula and Amber are both in from the field and happy to be invited. Kaeya has, as often happens, invited himself.

Eula is in the middle of indignantly complaining about her family's latest shenanigans when Kaeya tenses, and he, she, and Amber all look almost simultaneously towards the garden entrance. Lisa, less vigilant than any of them but certainly interested, follows their gaze.

There's a gentleman heading their way, dressed in an unseasonably heavy black coat, his red hair vivid against it. Eula's eyes narrow in recognition, and Kaeya sets down his tea and sits even straighter. It's entertaining to watch both Eula and Amber do the same in response. Lisa settles back in her chair and takes another sip of her tea, watching closely.

"Kaeya," the man says, without even a glance at the rest of them. "Jean told me you would be out here. I wanted-"

Kaeya flinches. It's a tiny movement, just enough to be visible, and then a smile spreads over his face that Lisa doesn't believe for an instant. She sees Amber sniff the air and brace her hands on the table to stand.

"-to talk to-" The man cuts himself off, going white. He takes a step back almost defensively, then shakes his head. "Never mind."

He turns his back and flees the garden as if Amber and Eula are actually after him. Lisa takes another long, thoughtful sip of tea, looks at Amber slowly relaxing in her seat and the glances she and Eula are exchanging, watches out of the corner of his eye as Kaeya slumps in his own seat and then regathers himself enough to stretch out and casually take a cookie, then lowers her cup and smiles sweetly at him.

"I take it that was our newly-returned Master Diluc Ragnvindr?"

"You have a good eye." Kaeya gives her very nearly the same languid smile he had his long-missing alpha, every genuine emotion shuttered away.

Lisa wonders what Master Diluc had gotten down their bond in the moment that Kaeya flinched. Surely much, much more than any of them, even Amber with her alpha's nose, picked up on. There are reasons why Lisa is willing to let Jean keep their relationship quiet and bondless until the Grand Master comes back, and the thought of having Jean's anxiety in her head day in and day out is certainly one of them.

"I don't like him," Amber declares, loud and decisive. "He didn't even look at Eula!"

"Oh?" Kaeya smirks at her. "He didn't look at you, either. Is our little Outrider getting big enough that that's a problem?"

Amber sputters angrily. "No! I'm not- it's not about stupid alpha stuff! It's because he was *rude*."

"He was at that. Maybe you should call him out next time." Kaeya's smirk broadens. "You do want a rival or two to face down if you want to catch anyone's eye, you know."

"I'm not trying to!"

"Amber doesn't need to get into foolish fights in order to impress anyone," Eula says, taking the bait, and Kaeya, eye gleaming, immediately begins needling her as well.

Lisa sits back to watch again, ready to rein him in if he needles either of them a little too sharply. The subtle shifts in their relationship this past year constitute delicate new growth, and she won't see it wilted. But Kaeya's shoulders are relaxing again as he teases them, and it *is* an effective distraction.

***

While Lisa insists on quiet in her library, she doesn't insist on absolute silence. It's interesting, and sometimes useful, to listen in on the patrons' gossip.

"I heard Diluc Ragnvindr is back in town," someone whispers, back in the natural studies section. "But everyone says he isn't going to return to the Knights...."

"Of course he wouldn't," their companion scoffs. A little more loudly, but not loud enough to scold. "Master Jean would never let him. Not now that Master Kaeya's the quartermaster. She'll keep Master Diluc well away from him."

"But aren't they mates?"

"They're *bonded*, if that's what you mean. But Master Diluc wasn't even a knight yet and Master Kaeya was even younger when it happened. Master Crepus hushed it up, but... well, they may not be Lawrences, but the Ragnvindrs *are* aristocrats. Why else would Master Jean have taken him away from the Winery as soon as Master Diluc left it?"

It would explain the flinch, but something about it doesn't taste right. Lisa knows that Jean and Kaeya have secrets between them, but Jean *would* have told her. If not before, then when Master Diluc did return, so that Lisa would know to intervene if she had to. Besides, Jean had been genuinely delighted by the news that he was back in Mondstadt. She wouldn't be if that was the story.

"Why wouldn't Master Jean challenge him for his claim, then? I've heard that- you know- not that Master Jean would ever do anything inappropriate. But it wouldn't be, if she did challenge him."

The voices are drawing closer, and Lisa makes sure she looks like she's paying close attention to marking returned books, though she could do this simple little spell in her sleep.

"Politics, probably. She needs some kind of excuse, and until Master Diluc gives her one- Oh! Miss Minci," the knight says as they round the corner, smiling nervously. "I didn't realize you were in."

"I came in after you," Lisa says, with a gracious smile. "Do you have books to check out, cuties?"

She checks out their books, pretending not to notice their awkward silence and making no comment on their discussion. No point in taking offense when she and Jean *are* keeping their affairs quiet. They aren't the first people to assume that Kaeya lives with Jean for prurient reasons, or, more kindly, to imagine a star-crossed forbidden romance between them.

To be fair, Lisa had probed at that exact possibility before she dedicated herself to acquiring Jean's affections. But she's quite certain, bond or not, of Jean's loyalty.

***

If Master Diluc's return is causing a resurgence of such rumors, though, Lisa would rather Jean and Kaeya not be blindsided by them. She doubts that Kaeya *would* be, even if no one says them to his face--he's quite good at tracking such whispers and rumors. Jean, though, relies on him and Lisa to keep her informed of such things, and Lisa isn't sure Kaeya would share this one.

Lisa can also confess to some personal curiosity. It may not be the one the rumors claim, but there is a story in that blighted interaction in the garden.

"I overheard an interesting conversation in the library the other day," she tells them over dinner the next time Jean invites her over for the night. "It seems there's an interesting theory going around about you refusing to let Master Diluc return to the Knights. Mixed in with that old nonsense about the two of you being secretly, passionately in love."

"If that's so, I can guess which one it is," Kaeya says, smiling ruefully. "Unfortunately, no one's put me in a position to deny it."

Jean frowns. "Oh, no. Not the one Father had to investigate when you were younger? I thought he'd settled that years ago."

"You know how it is. A good rumor never dies entirely. All it takes is a few people willing to be convinced that Father paid the Church off to hide the evidence, and, well." Kaeya shrugs. "The cavalry won't be convinced that their Saint Diluc did any such thing, so as long as I stay friendly with them, it'll eventually die down. The other half we won't be able to do anything about until I move out."

"Do you want to?" Jean asks, bracing herself as she does for bad news.

"And live where? I'm not quitting as your quartermaster." Kaeya gives her a reassuring smile and reaches for the wine, refilling his glass. He offers it to Jean, who waves it off, and Lisa, who holds her own out to be topped off, before setting it back down. "Let me handle it."

"I may be able to help, if you'll tell me enough of the truth to do it with." Lisa smiles innocently in response to his amused look. "And I *am* curious."

Kaeya salutes her with his glass. "The only part the rumor has right is that Diluc *was* acting on impulse, but it was hardly the salacious one everyone likes to think. It wasn't that long after Father took me in, you see, and Father wanted to adopt me formally, but circumstances fell out such that it wasn't possible. If Diluc had one flaw at that age, it was that he was bad at thinking out plans. Since my birth parents abandoned me, if I was his mate, I would be as close to legally Father's son as possible without actual adoption. And both of us were a little too young to understand what we were actually getting into."

"Neither of them thought to bring it to Master Crepus first," Jean adds in affectionate exasperation. "Diluc presented it to their father as a fait accompli, and it did cause some terrible trouble at the time. But Father proved that... that all Diluc did was bite him, which was the only legal problem."

"The rest was merely an issue for the Ragnvindr reputation, and Father was excellent at handling that."

A very childish action indeed, but unless Jean's father actually *was* complicit in far more than she realizes, it still doesn't explain the flinch. Lisa lets prurient curiosity get the better of her and leans in. "So did you end up childhood sweethearts?"

Kaeya chokes on his wine, splutters a moment, and wipes his face with the napkin Jean hands him while she uses his to blot at the tablecloth. "No, that wasn't- no." Regaining his composure, he sets his glass down, leans back, and smiles at her, just as he had in the garden after Master Diluc left. "Do you recall that book I loaned you? The childhood favorite of Jean's, where the honorable alpha knight sits in front of the beautiful omega's door with her sword drawn through her heat?"

"Kaeya, you *didn't*."

"I thought it was adorable," Lisa assures her, before turning back to Kaeya. "Don't tell me-"

"Jean made him read it too, before I even came to the Winery," Kaeya says, with relish. "I suspect it was his model, because that's exactly what he did, for six years straight. He always was the picture-perfect noble knight and alpha. Jean was the only one who could exceed him, in either area."

"That's not true. He was my better and you know it. I admired that about him very much."

"Mmmm. Well. If Commander Fredrica had died to Eroch's machinations, I doubt you would have...." Kaeya waves his hand briefly, and his smile slips. Jean goes sad-eyed, but nods.

*There*. Lisa would swear to it that right there, in that trailing-off and waved hand, is the reason for that flinch. She doubts Kaeya would respond to further prying, no matter that he's nearly finished that second glass of wine, but that doesn't matter. Jean clearly knows what he's referring to. Lisa will push with her, later, when she gets her alone and finds a good window to ask.

For now she smiles, and says, "*I* would certainly agree that Jean exceeds him in knightly dedication, though I will confess to being biased," and enjoys watching Jean blush.

[starflungwaddledee]

Oooo starstruck dee has little stars at the bottom of her feet! Are they just aesthetic or would they make imprints into the ground? (like pawprints)

exactly like that! though she's not the only one...

edit: might need to add some additional dialogue to this to make it more clear, but a clarification in the interim; he knows about his own footprints. he's just surprised to see something similar already there when he knows he's only just landed. he lifts his own shoe to confirm that they're not identical (and also to reveal this to the viewer). seems his stoicism beat off the clarity in this one, sorry 😭

[liones-s]

it is once again that time of year to ask for the extensions you need.

[bibibbon]

Worse, is that this general is the one who cannonically suffers from abuse and being treated like a monster for his magic ability to raise the dead by his mother and folks in his hometown. AND HE'S THE KINDER ONE OF THE GENERALS WHO STILL CARE FOR HUMANITY DESPITE BEING ON DRACULA'S SIDE! Oh, and he ended up leaving Dracula and fought against him and his former general friend in the games! Yet, the show treats him so cruelly (mainly because the screenwriter was getting back at his coworker who was telling him he should stop disrespecting the franchise their doing the show on(that screenwriter was fired for allegations but the crew still used his scripts regardless). And that's just an icing on the cake with Netflix Castlevania. 4/5

Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Hector is probably my favourite castlevania character in the series just because I find his character arc so intriguing. However, I was quite disappointed by how his character arc in season 4 was handled and how they tried to paint it so that hector x Lenore was somehow a healthy ship when it never was.

Iam guessing that you're comparing netflix hector to the OG hector which to be fair netflix castlevania has very much done a complete spin on many of the OG characters hector included (if I read the OG spoilers right hector ends up fighting Issac and being much more active in the plot to the point I have seen people describe him as alucard 2.0)

Hector's character starts with him being a general for dracula and working for him. The depicts Hector and Isaac to be on equal footing during season 1 especially during their shared scenes either them together or with dracula. Heck even their own individual scenes interacting with other characters like camilla or godbrand held weight and showed the importance and power they held.

During season 2 we see the differences between Hector and Isaacs ideologies and we see the different paths that the characters are narrativey built up to take with Hector getting manipulated by camilla and betraying dracula which is contrasted to Isaac who chose to stay by dracula's side and had to be manually teleported away by dracula to escape safely.

We learn that Hector's ideology and belief when making the truce with dracula is that the human population will live like livestock and be controlled as such. Hector wanted humanity to be controlled in a "merciful" way pigs raised to slaughter in a way where they can be used tools to feed the vampires and for them to be raised in a way where they cannot harm and kill other humans.

What's interesting is that Hector clearly states that he doesn't love the rest of humanity but still views their existence as valuable and and important to the world. Ideally, with this ideology Hector shouldn't mind if dracula did change his plan and resorted to killing all of the humans that plauge the earth but in as we see from his conversations with camilla he very much does mind that. The whole reason that Hector was able to be manipulated to betray dracula is because of that change within his character. What's even more interesting is that Hector was able to tell that dracula was grieving and a "a shell of his former self". Hector could tell that over the past year that the death of lissa truly took a toll on dracula and this could be linked to the reason as to why Hector is considered somewhat empathetic especially when it comes to his night creatires whom he treats like proper beings.

Hector believes that by forging night creatures they become their own beings that need a merciful master and he believes that the act of brining night creatures to life is an act of mercy. He believes that he "brings life from death", giving a new purpose or meaning to a soul and saving them from hell.

Hector holds the belief that humans should be controlled like livestock to limit them from their evil actions and an interesting thing that both dracula and isaac bring up is that Hector only knows how to treat others like livestock and he only knows how to also be treated as such. All of Hector's past relationships, whether that be with random individuals or his parents, have all been negative. They have all been so bad that Hector decided that the perfect way to live his life was to be completely isolated away from civilisation. This twisted view that he has ends up ending into quite the tragic irony later on.

From birth Hector was unwanted by his mother and his father used him as a tool to get money and power from him because Hector could do alchemy. So yes from the beginning of Hector's life he was abused by both his parents (it got so bad that he literally burnt them alive in his old house to get away from them) so that's a major reason as to why he doesn't understand how a normal healthy relationship works because sadly he never had one. The only joy Hector could receive was his friendship with his night creatures and ultimately this led him to develop a dangerous belief that things should be controlled by a "merciful" ruler ultimately the term merciful is incredibly vague and may not even be what the standard belief of the word is as he fully described that having humans be pigs raised to slaughter as somehow merciful?!?!

We then move onto season 3 where we ultimately should see Hector at his worst state and we see the complete dehumanisation and manipulation that Hector goes through. In the beginning of season 3 Hector arrives chained up like a dog and walking barefoot. He is literally being treated like an animal, like livestock which is ironic considering his previous beliefs.

After he arrives he is physically stripped off any clothes and gets cold water poured all over him as a way to clean him and gets a mouldy piece of bread as food. Yep castlevania goes out of its way to show just how badly Hector is being treated and the utter dehumanisation of his character. This can also be interpreted as a form of karma for betraying dracula and showing him that his previous ideologies by having humans be controlled like livestock is a bad idea (he literally suffers the consequences of his ideology).

This dehumanisation isn't only done by camilla but also by lenore who in their first scene together literally compares Hector to a dog and treats him as such (actually you can argue that she treats him worse than a dog). We see lenore actively manipulating and stripping Hector of his own autonomy and agency as a being keeping him trapped and only allowing him for a walk if he had a collar on?!?! (Handcuffs exisit but i think the collar thing was intentional by her) and she goes further to basically ignore his experiences with vampires and say that "they aren't monsters" like she and camilla aren't committing vile acts towards Hector (this is just another way of lenore's manipulation on screen)

Hector and lenore's first meeting is clearly staged in a way where we can see that ultimately lenore has more power whether that be from the proxmeics where we see that lenore is clearly above Hector and she has to sit down to reach his level. Heck even when she is sitting down she is still above him (literally and metaphorically) she is also clothed elegantly and has a veil on her that she removes to make herself seem more friendly and make herself seem like she is getting down to Hector's level all while Hector is naked and barely has anything to cover himself. The two are separated by a jail cell quite literally showing us that they have two different lives and showing us just how separated the two are with lenore still leaving a huge gap between them (enough to show that she still cares but also enough to command respect and show authority)

Ultimately Hector is at his worst and lenore is at her best. Hector is practically bribed into making a pact or a deal with the devil. A deal where he is exploited day and night for simple human rights (the right to decent food, clothing, some autonomy etc etc). This from the very beginning is an unequal deal one that lenore cleverly frames as a business deal where Hector is somehow on equal footing when he is literally their prisoner and foremaster.

(Am I ignoring some aspects of season 4 when ir comes to lenore's characterisation? Yes! Yes iam because I liked her so much more as a character who manipulates, who wants to be seen as important and is kind for image purposes. I liked her evil more than her being whiny in season 4)

Throughout season 3 and 4 we see lenore get closer to Hector and ultimately do more manipulating. She uses sex as a means to overpower him and show him whose in contorl. She traps him both mentally and physically with the ring on his finger and she tries to depict herself and her sisters as the good guys. Her phrasing going around the whole "yes camilla is angry and has an attitude but she would never kill you" (because you're valuable and needed to be a forgemaster although she doesn't say it). Heck even in the very last episode she still clings to that belief that after everything vampires (specifically her and her sisters gave done) that they aren't monsters and that in a way her actions are justified.

Like I said I hated season 4's characterisation of Hector, lenore, the sisters and Isaac's (not so much isaac though)

It made sense for isaac to spare Hector and heck I think it may of been a bit foreshadowed if we take the conversation isaac had with the pirate into consideration.

Hector should (but never got to) of stood up and betrayed the sister's. He should of learnt that his ideology of having humans being controlled like livestock is wrong because it will never be and can never be done under "merciful" conditions since good must always exsit with evil and the other way is also true. Hector learning such a thing would also have his character betray lenore and go back to his previous beliefs that she was indeed exploiting him.

The sisters should of ended things together. Season 3 established the undying loyalty and trust that they had for each other and in my opinion it would of been imapctful to stay that way even if camilla's ambition was the thing to cause their downfall.

Lenore should of lived and died, lived and been taken down by Hector ultimately escaping and landing om top pr she should of died with the sisters. She had potential to be a cunning villain who in her words shouldn't be looked down upon or underestimated for wanting peace or little amounts of violence as possible.

In the end I agree. Hector was treated horribly by the narrative specifically when it comes to terms of abuse and how the narrative treats the topic or theme.

However, I am not fully aware of the controversy surrounding the nextflix castelvanina especially the things to do in the writing room but I have started to look into it and yikes it's not good (and that comment is an understatement)

[adhd-languages]

how to keep motivation when language learning? i always lose interest a couple weeks after picking up a new language and i feel that starting to happen with my current one too

I try and find low-key ways to keep up the language until I’m feeling more motivated, and also try to incorporate my interests into the language learning.

For example, I’ve not been very motivated with Japanese recently. But I listen to a Japanese podcast to fall asleep, and I’ve been really into Sky : Children of the Light, so I’ve been looking for videos in Japanese about the game. I’ve also been playing stardew valley in Japanese.

I’ve kind of just accepted my interest in actively studying will ebb and flow, and it’s fine if I just learn a bit slower (taking breaks and then coming back to it).

I also find following lots of langblrs or studyblrs can help. Its a pretty supportive community and seeing other peoples excitement makes me more motivated.

Sorry if the answer isn’t super helpful 🙏 it’s super difficult to keep motivated studying for me as well.

[heartbreakfeelsogood-moved]

anxiety will have me wishing i could google search things like “how to ask my manager if i can put her as a reference on my resume while i try to find a second job so i don’t have to move back halfway across the country to live with my mom and feel like i’m starting over again”

[asundering]

mildly freaking out because i found the league wiki page holding the odyssey: extraction english announcer lines that I have been searching for. forever. for years. for these lines for both referencing and nostalgia purposes.

[vyragosa]

You're really inspiring. I've been following you for three years now, and I think it has changed my life because I learned to pull out the passion and emotion that is inside of me when things like that seemed to come so naturally to you. I wanted to pull it out of my own self when I saw you. I was always afraid to be open about those things, but seeing you made me less afraid. I've been in a sentimental mood, so I wanted to say thank you, and that I mean it so much. I have so much gratitude. I think you inspire a lot of people just by being yourself here on tumblr. Thank you 💕 and your art is among the most beautiful I have ever seen. It's really incredible to watch you improve, you just keep making things even more beautiful, it's incredible. I hope go far with your art, i think you will. I hope that it takes you somewhere special

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

still very disappointed they cheated us by making this guy be able to uwu his way out of being a villain

[autosarcophagy-avaritia]

Well. I am alive. I guess. So theres that much.