#the song for those who dont know is not allowed by tv girl!!

[hollisartsblog]

and you never call..

[nemesyaaa]

a house in nebraska ! rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; you were the reason he won't come home but you still call home. this story is based on the song of ethel cain.

warnings : it's angst. fully angst. it's about toxic relationship. so violence, arguing and fighting, sick behavior, daddy and mommy issues, the urge of love and being loved, mentions of drugs, the feeling of being misunderstood and unsteady. home is used as a metaphor of relationship. it's about inner rage too. slight of smut but very little. both rafe and reader being fucked up. southern goth/small town coded.

author's note : it's my first time writing angst so be easy one me please ! as i said, it's based on " a house in nebraska" by ethel cain (because she's my favorite artist and my muse.) and a lot of her songs make me think of rafe, but i also take inspo of her others songs like crush, strangers, and hard times. also a hint of bet on losing dogs by mitski.

i dont know how many words are in this works, but i think around 3k ? it's a one-shot ! BETTER TO READ IT WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG. (a house in nebraska (live version)or anything else)

you lived in the nebraska with rafe, he was your man and you were his girl. it was a small town that allowed you to be just him and you against the world, to be safe from the rest. but the ugly truth was that your house had become a raging mess. the mattresses had become dirty, the silence too comfortable, the night too long, the emptiness too deep, the love too absent and the violence too present. everyone was angry here, even demons and the silence.

rafe was a storm, and every time you tried to calm it, you became further worse. no, you weren't becoming like him, you were becoming him, the mirror of his emotions, full of rage and inexpressible feelings. like a bomb, you needed it to come out, to scream and explode. like a bomb, you needed to hurt, and destroy everything in your way.

you had built this house together, when he still worked with his hands, oh god, how much you loved those big and strong hands, the dirt and bruises on his skin. the softness of his palms when he touched you, the pulsating veins engraved. they were made to love you, to caging you. they were always rushed with blood and wounds because of his work, but despite how dirty they were when he came home, they were always pure and clean on your body. but you also were so in love with his messy sweaty hair, caressing by the wind. he was tall and handsome, the kind of man who worked all day, and drunk at night, some whiskey or bourbon. but never missed to please the needs of his girl.

when he smoked his red marlboros on the porch, you were sitting on his lap like a sleepy girl to take a nap on his heavy arms that managed to hug your body. when he took a sip of his cold beer, while you had nothing to do but being his own pretty girl. when he allowed you to bathe him, cleaning the mess and the sweat. when you used to learn him how to play some classic music on the old piano, and he was just turned on by the way you used so damn well your fingers, and making you sit on the board, and fuck you right there, even if the windows were wide open.

at this time, you would have die for him.

when he still listened to what you said, when he still answered your calls and did not make you sick by his silence, when you laughed every time he came home . but now you were starting to hate the fact that he was coming.

how did the man who was supposed to make you so happy manage to break you so easily? but you weren't an angel either, oh far from it, you had neither wings nor halo on your head, you didn't even have god in your heart. you made him, like all men, your enemy.

it was four in the morning, it was still dark, you were waiting in the living room.

the tv wasn't on. rafe had broken it during an argument. that wasn’t the only thing he shattered, you had to be the hardest thing he does. not even with his fists, with just the force of his words, the way they were murderous, the way they had the force to tear your heart open and crushed it into pieces.

most people would say that this man was not the type to cry, that a man doesn't cry, but rafe cried. and you had seen him a couple of times, and the first time you saw him burst into tears, you knew straight away that it was the real him. that behind all this hatred, this anger, there was a hurted little boy. and who grew up with an open wound, a wound impossible to heal, even with all the love in the world.

rafe was the kind of man who screamed, who cried, who bled, a fallen angel who had lost god along the way, who had been ignored, but mostly, never heard.

when he opened the door to the house, you hated the strong smell of alcohol, but also of blood. you never asked him for anything, the only thing you wanted was for him to come home on time for dinner, to go to bed with you. but no one, absolutely, no one tamed a dog like him. and you rathered not bet on losing dogs.

“where were you ?? ” you had already started shouting due to lack of patience, getting up from the chair to confront him.

you had seen him sigh, making that bored face, like you had no reason to be upset, that face that made all women become even worse.

“if you had the same energy to scream when we fuck, we would have a fantastic sex life.”

“seriously, rafe? you want to play the asshole, right now ? ”

“ it will suit your bitch behavior, so why not ?”

you slapped him very hard in the face. what obviously rafe didn't find this very amusing, he crushed you in the wall, pinned your hands above your head.

“ don't you dare slapping me again. you want to be mean, sweetheart ? i can be meaner. let's see....oh this is the necklace that your mom offered to you before leaving ? how sweet. maybe, i can sell it for a good price. ”

“ rafe. don't. ”

he shushed you, by putting his other hand on your mouth. “ you're not allowed to talk right now. you had your turn for, now, it's my fucking turn. and i will do whatever the fuck i want ! it's my house, my rules. ”

he unhooked the necklace, as you tried to break away from his grip but he closed his fingers tighter against your wrists.

“I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do, i'm going to kill you. ”

“murder me” he said with a louder voice. “i’m asking you to murder me! it’s probably the only good thing you’ll have done well in your life. you know even if i die tonight, i will die yours. even if you kill me, i will always be here.”

he released you, and you exploded. “you have exceeded the limits, rafe! ”

” since when are there boundaries between us, sugar? we're freaks, remember? ”

you threw away the first object you found, it was an empty coffee cup. you threw it at his face. but he had dodged it with a sick smile. your jaw clenched, eyes blazing with fury, you were out of control. you were what he wanted you to be every time he came home late

” oh you can do better than that baby. i'm sure i taught you how to shoot better than this when i showed you how to kill? do you remember? ”

“ this, this fucking attitude, rafe is why everybody leaves you ! ”

“ yes. and do i fucking care, y/n ? do i fucking care ? i grew up in a family where nobody loved me, nobody reached after me, nobody looked after me, nobody dared to pay attention to me and you tell me i have to care about everyone leaving me ? no, it's not fucking fair ! so do you understand ? i don't care. if you want to leave, you know better than me that the door is open because you're the only one to be stucking in front, waiting like a fucking dog that i come come. ”

“ fine. i leave ! ”

you took the keys of the car, even if rafe hated that you drove, especially at midnight. but you were too upset, too mad.

your man wasn't done with you. he stood in front of the car you were driving.

“if you think i'm afraid of killing you, when you were the one who taught me how to do that, you're wrong. ”

" yes ? then show me how well i did my job. kill me. ”

“ rafe, i’m not kidding. ”

“ perfect, we are both serious then. ”

you moved the car forward, pressing the pedal with your feet. you hitted him with the car. it was strong but not violent either.

you got out of the car quickly to check on him. but he was smiling, a little blood on his face.

“are you sick!? ”

“ i raised you well, i fear. now, lick this face. i can see in your eyes how pretty you find me covered with blood, so please yourself, lick it all. ”

“ wait, i will find some tis….”

“ no, with your tongue. clean my whole face with your tongue. don't waste anything. i want to be able to kiss you right after, and recognize the taste of my blood all over your mouth. you want to be sick ? make me feel sick too. ”

maybe you were too young to realize that some loves could be bad. but this relationship was toxic. you had both destroyed each other, and it was complicated when you saw this world, this universe only through your union. you felt like you had lost a lot, like you had lost everything, like you had failed. maybe, you were the failure, and rafe, the problem. but also, maybe, he was the failure and you, the problem.

and you hated not knowing what was going on in rafe's head, you hated that no one on this earth could figure it out, and that even rafe himself didn't know it. he was crazy, he was sick but that wasn't all, it couldn't be just that.

you gave up the fight, going to the bathroom to take a bath. you needed some peace because the house didn't feel like a home anymore.

sometimes wheezie would call you to see if you were okay, she had grown up, and you lied to her all the time. because it hurt so much to be two in a relationship, but not feel like you were a part of it anymore. and the worst part of it all was that you could kill yourself for just one minute of affection, just one second of happiness, just one moment in the past when everything was okay. where rafe was still the sweet little boy you knew. but the stories were not meant to have a happy ending.

it was hard this feeling, this lack when he still lived with you in this terrible house. but one day you'll be the reason he won't come home again. but you would always call home. you promised yourself. because it would always be yours.

rafe had joined you in the bathtub. and you could tell by his red and empty eyes, his blank stare that he had been crying. he cried and he was not the drugs, he was you, only you.

and you didn't mention it. you didn't say anything. you preferred to stay smart and not start another fight.

“the walls could break down with so much screams. ” you said, laughing slightly.

“maybe we should sell the house. ”

“i like this house. i feel at home here. i have nowhere to go. ” you lied for the two first, but not for the last.

and it was true. you had built everything, paved everything here. you had remade a world. you couldn't leave, you couldn't leave anything. and above all, you were too tired to leave.

it would be a lie to say that you didn't had sex in the bathtub, that you didn't feel his tears on your shoulder, that you didn't feel his thrusts get harder each time a sob broke out his empty eyes, that you didn't feel how much he was breaking every time you took pleasure. because, it was hard for him to seeing you being happy. because it was so hard to take care of you. because it was so hard to feel loved and being loved. you were both too young, too stupid, too sick for love.

and rafe wanted to make you happy without sex, without all this selfish sex. no, he wanted to make you happy by some casual things. but sometimes, you pissed him off so bad to the point, he wanted to leave. but how can a man who hoped to be loved can leave the woman who promised to cherish him ? it was too tired, too angry, and too unsteady to leave. you broke him too. and it was sad for him, because you were the only one he was not scared to tell it hurts.

but at six in the morning you were fighting again as if it were a ritual, a need, a desire to destroy each other, as if sometimes love needed to be violent and destructive to work. actually, for freaks like you, surely.

“why did you throw my fucking drugs down the toilet?! ”

“because you don’t need that!” ”

“you don’t know what i need, you barely know what i want! you had no fucking right to do that. ”

“ don't be a crybaby ! ”

“ repeat. i dare you to repeat. ”

“crybaby! you're a fucking crybaby, rafe! your new personality changes nothing about the boy you were and will always be! what, you don't like the truth ? bad for you, i'm about to tell you what everyone doesn't want to tell you. because i'm not scared at all of you ! you're a fucking crybaby ! ”

“ but you're still here, you're still fucking here. because you know what ? i'm maybe a crybaby, but i'm a river worth wading. and this is why, you're standing in front of me with all this confidence. you wanted a broken man, you wanted someone to fix ? then come on baby, i'm here, i'm watching you, i'm listening, i'm literally at your feets, fix me ! fix the little boy you wanted, make him better. ”

“ rafe…”

“no, i'm asking you now who do you think you are? do you think that because you have this attitude, it doesn't make you a little girl who needs her daddy? because damn, yes, you need him. but i fear daddy was the only one who didn't need you because guess what ? he left. and you make all the men leave around you ! but the difference between us is that you care. when i fucking dont care.”

“ you're sick, a sick asshole. and don't touch me ! ” you pushed him away, but he came back, his hand on your throat. “ but you're the sick one who loves me, remember that ?” he answered.

“ but do you think i still love you ? ” you said with a smirk, taking pleasure to see his widen eyes. “ i'm asking you right now, do you think i still love you, and if one day, someone will like you like i do ? it would be so hard for you to find happiness after me, i can promise you this. you will fight a lot. because ? can you see ? can you see i can breathe without you, i can live without you ? but you, can you do this ? yes, you can fight, you can scream and shout but what else ? ”

“ it doesn't hurt, y/n. it doesn't hurt. and you can't break me, as you can't fix me. ”

“ then why are you crying, big boy ? why are those tears for, if not for me ? ”

“ i built a home for you, i did everything for you. ”

“ and then what ? ”

“ don't make me regret it, y/n. don't make me regret the only good thing i've made well in my life, just don't make me regret...this. you don't understand. why did every house i'm in never felt like home ? ”

“ you destroy everything, rafe. but me too, i guess. the difference is that you have an excuse, a reason for being like that. your dad fucked up with you. and i hate him for that. if he had loved you correctly, you would have known and learned how to love people, how to be attached to them. but you don't know any of that, you don't know what it is to love, and to be loved. everything i do for you, you could call it love, even when i'm mean. but it's false, love is tender, it's beautiful. but you know, i think i'm sick because i also like the way you love me, this violence, this rage, this impulsiveness, it drives me crazy but it makes me alive. so, do you think you could do it again? ”

“ why you didn't leave, why you never leave ? ”

“ because it's our house. we're stuck in forever. this is our house in nebraska, our only heaven. now be a good boy and cry a little for me, i think i'm going away a little...” you said, taking him in your arms, your hand placed on his back, and your hand pressed to his cheek. “don’t worry, i cry a lot too. all the time, even when you make me happy. ” you shushed him, bursted in tears in the hug.

you kissed him on the corner of his lips, your mouth meeting his tears, before he joined you in this kiss, you felt his sad and salty tongue against yours, his hands came squeeze your waist.

but now in the present, you were alone. the house still existed but it was just you.

you weren't sleeping anymore, because you kept hoping that he would come home, you were hoping that he would come home late at night.

but you were alone in a dirty and cold mattress. and you prayed for him hoping he was okay. the phone was broken but you were hoping to hear it ring, the door was open and you were waiting for a sign.

nothing was right, everything was wrong. you just wanted to say to rafe that he had you, that he had a house, and his home missed him, like nobody ever does in his life.

you didn't realize that you had been lying all this time, and that you were silently dying. but at least you died, only his.

[bluestar-bah]

hello! i have two sysmates who have been around for a long time but are still pretty fragmented.

the first one is based on christmas past (yes like from a christmas carol, but they are NOT a straight up introject/fictive). they're definitely female / feminine aligned. i know they're sort of a powerful force, but they're the type to dote on people and be sort of like a big sister.

the second one is a songtive of dead girls by penelope scott (if this makes u uncomfortable, feel free to not do it /g). they are also feminine aligned, but not a cis or binary woman. they're also non-human, but not a straight up animal.

if possible, i'd like likes, dislikes, system roles, and an outfit board for both! tysm in advance :))

I dont know how to title this one lol

Name: Rebecca, Faith, Fortune

Emoji/Sign Off: 🌟🤍

Species: Human?

Age: Ageless

Pronouns: she/her, holly/hollies, snow/snows, light/lights

Gender: Gxrl (both female and agender)

Sexuality: aroace

Source: Christmas Past (not an introject, but based on it)

Personality Traits: Mysterious, Caring, quiet

Likes: Caring for others, Christmas, winter, family (found family or bio, etc, depending on your situation), snow

Dislikes: high heat, fighting/arguments, being alone

System Role: caretaker, protector

Other Info: Favorite time of the year is around Christmas time, of course. Could spend hours watching snowfall.

Appearance:

Outfit Board:

[Note: this next one is pretty heavily based off an interpretation of the song I found on reddit. I hope that's alright lol)

Name: Nako, Saki, Shay(e)

Emoji/Sign Off: 🪀♠️

Species: ferret(-human)

Age: 19

Pronouns: she/her, they/them, dead/deads, dark/darks

Gender: demigirl genderfuck

Sexuality: bi

Source: Dead Girls (Penelope Scott) Songtive

Personality Traits: Cold, Serious, Loyal, Brave

Likes: animals, the dark, nighttime, emo/other alternative aesthetics, macaroni, yo-yos (and yo-yo tricks)

Dislikes: authority figures, news (eg newspapers and news channels on tv), people who dismiss mental health

System Role: there is not a single role that I can find that describes what I want here so I'm just going to describe it- basically very vocal about political issues (specifically those related to mental health but that's really specific lol) and is a sort of activist in that sense

Other Info: big advocate for mental health support, especially in teens. Hates the way teens' suffering is either ignored or sensationalized and wants to change that. Likes to tease people, but makes sure they know she's just teasing and that they're fine with it.

Appearance:

(This is edited (added ears), the picrew maker allows it)

Outfit Board:

[diizi-dot-png]

Music Through Your Eras Tag Game!

thanks for the tag @ifritfan !!!

1️⃣first song/artist you remember liking: Maroon 5, Melanie Martinez and Marina.... 

👶middle school anthem (age 11-13): mostly DAMA songs (portuguese band) but esp Luísa and Às vezes, they werent new songs at the time but we were crazy over them for no reason lmao, and ALSO I loved ariana grande so some of her songs as well

🚗roadtrip must have song: i dont know. I have no idea dude. im gonna say A minha casinha and Homem do Leme by Xutos e Pontapés bc I have distinct memories of listening to those in the car

🙈Guilty pleasure artist: Chico da tina. if any of you guys knew who he was id be bullied relentlessly but idgaf. his music may not be good but fuck do I love it

💯I know all the lyrics to: year zero, ritual, con clavi con dio, prime mover, all by ghost, probably some more but these are the ones that come to mind lol, the Damned by cos sylvan, not allowed, cigarettes out the window, song about me and The blonde by TV Girl, The Fall, Perfume and Sex sells by lovejoy + p much every Wilbur Soot song (LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY), almost every public void song (penelope scott album. again leave me alone), a bunch of Mariana and ashnikko songs, almost every single melanie martinez song, first love/late spring by mitski, literal legend by ayesha erotica, I can keep going

🤬A song to yell to: i dont know??? mr. self destruct by NIN?? I cant think of more I dont yell to music bc i cant scream at home 👍

❤️‍🔥 Current favourite music video: Ive always loved the square hammer mv, and also call me what you like by lovejoy is cool. OH AND THEIR COVER OF KNEE DEEP AT ATP I love that mv

🥰current favourite band: dude cmon now. thats so hard. its between ghost and radiohead but Ive also been getting into goth music esp sister of mercy lately and theyre great

🏟️Would kill to see them live/again: ghost obvs, Chico da Tina, brother his concerts are such a fucking vibe!!! rammstein, theyre coming here this summer and I want to go sooo bad

🏝️if you could listen to one song on repeat for the rest of your life: the Damned, woodcutters or night sculptor by cos sylvan I love all of those songs very very much

🔁stuck on repeat: climbing up the walls and my Iron lung by radiohead, absolution by ghost, and a bunch more that Ive already mentioned here

Tagging: @sphylor @owlghuleh @s01ar-3cl1ps3 @purple-moonglade @finch-does-stuff @everybodyshusband

[naive-daydreamer]

The deepness of somethin' that does not exist.

Where to start. Well, things that does not exist are, for example, myths. Stories. Fantasy. These things that are taken in paper, in songs, in drawings, and in TV programs.

Take for example, the Mystery of the Impossible Girl in Doctor Who. I did not watch the series, yet I plan to, but here is what I know: Its the story of a girl that stepped into a portal by choice and broke herself into millions of pieces that did a diaspora around space and time. Every single one of those pieces, for as far as I know, saved the Doctor. Wherever or whenever, the Doctor was there, and Clara was too. And well then, I could have never thought of such story.

It allowed me to understand, in a way, how willing someone can be in order to save someone they love.

And it was romantically dont dare to say otherwise.

This event, thing, does not exist in real life, and thats what makes it deep. Time travels, girls that broke into millions of pieces in order to save one person, a payphone cabin that can travel across space and time. And more.

The beauty it has is that it does not exist. It comes from a part of ourselves that is unknown, and powerful, and that dreams a lot. Because of that very reason, it needs to be free, and takes the form of stories, of songs, of drawings, of TV shows. This things that does not exist allows is to explore the probabilities, to defy the limits, to live beyond universes. And that deepness also allows us to understand what does exist.

Its beautiful, to realize this. To be aware that, even if these stories, creatures, TV shows and else doesn't exist, they got to actually exist, in paper, in music, on a screen.

How else, would have we seen, or hearken, or live, through them?

[ghost-fight]

* Being aromantic isn't terrible. You're not any less valuable as a person because youre aro. That doesnt mean you have to enjoy it, that doesnt mean that it's easy to accept.

*Romance is everywhere. Its in books, its on tv, its in music, the movies, your family, school, jobs, public, romance is Everywhere, its impossible to get away from. It almost seems like everyone's in love in some way and you're just Not. That you're different, and wrong.

* its okay to feel like that. Its okay to feel wrong, to feel like you dont fit in. Even if you dont feel romantic attraction at all, if you feel only a little, or if you want to feel it. Its okay to feel like youre alone, to grieve the life you thought you would have and now know you wouldn't be happy in.

* Look at any disney movie. How many of them arent about a girl falling for a guy and living happily ever after? how many of them have a message that doesnt involve romantic love? You cannot expect people who grew up surrounded by romance to not grieve the loss of it. To not grieve the experience they won't have.

* Some of us dont feel human. The lack of something so engraved in our society makes us feel so outcasted that we dont even associate ourselves with the species.

* Maybe you're aro and you're at peace with it, you embrace it. Maybe you reject all love, or you live alongside it. You can be happy with it. But you also need to realize that it's okay if some aros arent comfortable with it yet. That doesnt mean theyre any less aro.

* Some of us still read the romance books, listen to the songs, watch the shows, and some of us enjoy it. Some sit there and question why couldn't it be them? why couldn't they have those experiences? why are they different? It doesn't make them less aro. It doesn't make them any less valid.

* Everyones relationship with their identity is different. Some people embrace it and are comfortable, some struggle with the words. It's all unique to each person. You cannot look at someone's identity and say "youre not -- enough." To think you'd have this life of love and a family and realizing you wouldn't be happy is scary.

* If you're aro and you havent accepted it: its okay. Dont force yourself. Let yourself grieve, and allow yourself the same care you'd have if it was any other sexuality. You're still you. One day you might be comfortable, but maybe you'll always wish to be different. Its okay. Give yourself time, and let yourself be. You're okay. You're not broken, you're not wrong. You're just you.

* It'll be okay.

[darcyolsson]

no rush at all!!! but what'd you think about heartstopper tv? would love to hear your thoughts about it!

anon i want you to know my answer to this ask was so long the web page crashed and i had to retype all of it

(i think it’s longer now)

basically IT WAS VERY GOOD

i watched all of it in one go with some beloved mutuals last night who have all also been reading heartstopper for 4+ years like me, so the expectations were HIGH. and heartstopper DELIVERED!!!!!

i don’t even know where to start. i'm still processing. my brain feels like a scrambled egg in a good way. i guess the most logical starting point is the changes to the story (which i never mind much in adaptations, but i know some people do). one thing that stood out to me was the way the tao/nick conflict was written- the show allowed a bit more depth than the comic did (since the pacing of comics generally has to be a lot faster than shows) it allowed for another layer of depth and nuance, which we all agreed was done so well!

also, the new added tao/elle and darcy/tara moments!!! and ISAAC my beloved my best boy my unbothered king i was so obsessed with him he is such a delight i was literally pulling out adoption papers every time he came on screen. imogen was the kind of character that felt so realistic it was almost unsettling at times. she’s a sweetheart and i felt so bad for her. she reminded me of becky in some ways- literally just trying her best, living her life, and accidentally making other people’s lives worse in the process. queen

there’s literally so much i could talk about but to keep this ask from being so long it crashes my browser a second time heres a list of details i enjoyed immensely:

BANGER SOUNDTRACK (the songs from the og heartstopper and solitaire playlists…… so what if i cried actual tears.)

the little animated details.. the electricity the flowers the hearts…so gorgeous

(specifically the scene that was a nightmare/flashback to charlie’s bullying- rip to charlie but that scene was visually STUNNING)

"anti-homophobia cheese" from one darcyolsson to another id just like so say so true

dog………..nellie was so adorable it was upsetting at times

the way so much of the dialogue was straight from the comics/solitaire!!! also the fact everyone i was watching it with immediately recognised the bits that were the same lol

two alice cameos!!!!

speaking of alice, i love how all the murals/banners/etc. were very obviously designed in her style!! it made the whole thing feel so reminiscent of the comics:’) i wonder if she painted it herself/designed it & had someone else paint it/someone else painted it in her style? (i imagine the 2nd) and also if all those murals are still on the walls

OLIVIA COLEMAN…??????? HOW DID THEY GET HER

that one scene in nick’s kitchen… “oh do you like this girl :)” “well. um. her dog died” “😬” please i was cackling

the fact they werent afraid so say lesbian and bisexual and transgender!!!!!!!! i loved that!!!!!!!! i guess i never realised just how much other shows do shy away from that until heartstopper didn't

olivia coleman knows what heartstopper is and i cant wrap my head around that

so yeah. i simply loved it <3 it felt like a fresh take on a story i love a lot and i think everyone i watched it with shares that sentiment<3 we were all so incredibly invested…… we literally knew what was going to happen and yet every plot twist had us SHAKING we were CRYING we were YELLING we LITERALLY KNOW THIS STORY SO WELL WE WE HAVE PIECES OF DIALOGUE MEMORIZED and yet……..

i dont know how to wrap this ask up

watch heartstopper on netflix it’s very good

i have many more thoughts on this show but i dont even know where to begin so please share your opinions on this show with me so we can chat about it

thanks

[beomglocks]

sk8ter boi ; c.bg

summary : he was a boy, she was a girl. can i make it anymore obvious?

pairing : skaterboy!beomgyu x reader

warnings & other : reader already has a child with yeonjun ok, beomgyu still pining after all these years, based off queen avril lavigne’s sk8ter boi song, listen while reading if you want 

w/c : 2.1K (i may have gotten carried away)

"where'd you get that note and roses from?" your friend maria asks you when you get into class. you wipe away your smile quickly, already knowing who the mystery person was. "i don't know."

yeah, of course you knew. how could you not when the boy oh so clumsily shoved them in your locker while you were literally turning the corner. he tried to act like he wasn't doing anything but he was clearly caught. he tried to play it off in the best way possible and smooth talk his way into a conversation with you but you shut him down due to the bell ringing.

"oh- oh ok sure...yeah," beomgyu stumbled over his words, nervousness eating away at him with you being here. "yo gyu you coming? i just finished fixing my drum kit," his friend, jeongin, calls him over, interrupting your already over conversation.

"you should go...but thanks for whatever you just threw in my locker," you laugh. he nods hesitantly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "dude," jeongin now stands in your vicinity. he looks at you and beomgyu before pulling away his best friend to where the spare band room was.

"well open the letter, we wanna know who your little secret admirer is," maria says, leaning onto your desk. your other friends agree, eager to know who was pining over you. you laugh nervously before opening it. you're not sure how they'll react to finding out that it's beomgyu.

you see, you wouldn't exactly call yourself the prettiest girl in the school but hell it sure was close. almost everyone would compliment you every day even if it was something minor like a change in your nail color. you kind of prided yourself in that, not to gas yourself up or anything.

someone like beomgyu...well. he wasn't exactly the ideal guy, to put it simply. he was a skater boy, he hung out with the "simple boys" who skated and did music and hung out around the skate parks after school. he wasn't the scholar type like soobin or the athlete type like yeonjun, he was simple.

you liked simple but your friends didn't. they had preferences for people like soobin and yeonjun, not people like beomgyu. you could probably guess they felt like beomgyu was the bottom of the barrel, like a roach on their foot not worthy of their time.

you pull the letter out of the envelope. for some reason without even trying, you could smell his cologne all over it. you want to smile at the obvious try hard gesture but your friends don't allow it. "what the fuck is that smell, it's so strong," maria gags. you roll your eyes at her dramatics. "it doesn't smell that bad."

"yes the fuck it does," she retorts. "just see what it says." you read over the letter, smiling at certain parts where you could tell he'd done his research on the things you liked. "it's from beomgyu," you say when you finish the letter. you already knew this anyway but maria's eyes go wide and she suddenly snatches the letter from your grasp. "hey!"

"CHOI beomgyu?" she asks while she reads the letter herself. "yeah?" you confirm.

your other friends mumble amongst themselves and you can hear some snicker. "y/n you could do so much better. beomgyu is like a street rat or something. don't do that to yourself," she laughs like it's the funniest thing she's ever said. you don't think beomgyu's that bad but you also don't stand up for him, simply biting your lip as she continues.

"he barely comes to school and when he does all he does is sleep. he skates with those other weirdos and thinks he's gonna make it big with his shitty guitar playing- i mean have you heard him?" she rolls her eyes, throwing the letter back on your desk. "you should go out with yeonjun, i think yall would be a cute couple. the prettiest girl with the coolest guy, your babies would be so damn cute."

"babies?!" you laugh at her ridiculousness. "yes! have you seen choi yeonjun?" she sighs in content. "anyways, don't pay beomgyu any mind because he's not gonna make it in life. go for someone like yeonjun and please for the love of god throw that letter away!"

you never did throw the letter away. you sigh as you think back to your high school years. you had just found it hidden behind one of the closet drawers while you were looking for valkyrie's binkie. she was crying so much since her father had gone out for the day and you were stuck taking care of her, as always.

you wonder how beomgyu was doing. you both talked after the fact but fell off during college since he had gone off to do his own thing. you didn't know what that thing was but you were proud of him nonetheless. you finished high school, went to college, got a good paying job, and were now married with a kid. all at the young age of 21. the typical life, you figure.

you're snapped out of your thoughts when you hear your child crying in the next room. "shit," you mumble to yourself. you leave the letter in your drawer and head back to the living room with the binkie. "valkyrie~" you sing song.

she continues crying, not giving a fuck about your efforts to calm her. she was usually a bit of a daddy's girl. "val please stop crying," you exasperate. "daddy's not coming home until late today. cut me some slack babygirl."

you slip the binkie into her mouth but her shrill cries go right through it. "let me go see if you need a diaper change," you mutter.

before you can even get up from the couch you hear your phone ring from somewhere in the couch. "shit where did i put my phone?" you put valkyrie down to look for your phone but it stops ringing before you can begin searching. you wait for it to ring again you find it between the cracks of the couch.

"oh hey mari," you say in confusion. after high school ended, you and maria kind of fell off along with all your other popular friends. you still had that clout all throughout college given who you were dating but you kind of strayed away from her. you guys were still on speaking terms though but this call was odd since it had been months since the last time she called.

"GIRL-" she pauses for a moment, still as dramatic as ever. "what it is mari? val won't stop crying she needs attention," you sigh, looking over at your daughter. her cries had gotten softer but she was still grumpy about not being with her father.

"girl turn on your tv to MTV right now- like right now before you miss it!" she says hurriedly. "this better be good you know i dont watch those shows," you say into the phone. you place the phone between your ear and shoulder so you can hold valkyrie while watching whatever it was that maria wanted you to watch.

then you see it. "is that-?" you begin. "CHOI beomgyu! yes girl!" maria finishes your sentence. she's right. there he is, the boy you were just thinking about was on your tv screen. "he's famous?" you ask.

maria sucks her teeth, "apparently after high school and like a year or two of college, he dropped out to pursue a music career and i guess it worked out for him." you nod even though she can't see you. "he signed with a label and now he's in like some super fucking famous band, look at him," she continues.

you stare at your tv screen in silence, watching beomgyu have the time of his life on the MTV stage. he really did get good on his guitar. the camera pans to the drummer and your eyes go wide when you see jeongin. wow, they really stayed together this whole time.

"he's fine as hell," you admit. you hear maria cackle on the other side, "you said it, he looks so attractive playing guitar like that, look at his fingers."

"ok alright maria, i have a child right next to me," you say. she laughs again, "anyways, i got tickets to their next show. you wanna come with?"

you're not sure how you managed to convince yeonjun to stay home with the baby while you went out with maria to this concert, but you did it. he was skeptical of letting you go out with what you were wearing which is why you both argued before you eventually stormed out to go anyways.

when you met up with maria outside the venue she looked up and down with a knowing smile. "i thought that pussy belonged to mr. choi yeonjun? what're you all dressed up for?"

"dressed up?" all you were wearing was a black and white bandana for a top and tight leather pants and comfortable shoes. "do the pants really have to hug your ass like that though?" she jokingly slaps your butt and you glare at her. "that's what yeonjun said," you mumble to yourself.

the concert goes smoothly and you're glad you actually got to see beomgyu in person and playing guitar. one thing about choi beomgyu is that he will play guitar like it's his last day on earth. he plays with so much intensity that you almost feel bad for the guitar.

you could almost feel how the crowd's energy in this packed room transferred to the members. if it was even possible, they started to play with more vigor.

at some point, beomgyu was full on immersed in his own playing. his once fluffy hair was now soaked with sweat and covering his forehead and eyes. he kept headbanging along to the beat while skillfully moving his fingers along the strings of the guitar.

during the middle of one of their songs, beomgyu took the center stage for his guitar solo. it was a fast paced riff that just seemed to give the song more life. his head is down so that it's solely focused on the guitar but once he finished the hardest part of the riff he looked up smugly. the crowd went absolutely mad when beomgyu bit his lip during the rest of his solo.

you had to admit the boy had stage presence, you practically almost re-fell in love with him.

after the show, you and maria went to get refreshments at the nearby bar. beomgyu seemed to already be there talking to one of his members so you took this opportunity to speak with him. you wonder if he'll remember you after all these years but you take your chances.

"beomgyu!" you shout over the music that's playing in the background. he whips his head around to the sound of his name being called and smiles lightly when he sees you. when you get to him, he subtly looks you up and down, taking in your body and attire. "y/n is that you?" he says, his voice laced with something teasing.

"you remember me?" you ask him with a smile. "how could i forget a face like yours," he smiles, leaning back. you laugh and he smiles. "i just saw you on stage, i never thought you'd become this huge! congrats!"

he nods, "yeah, i always wanted to make it big you know." he trails off, looking over you again like he's entranced somehow. "so how's life? you still with-"

"yeonjun...yeah we um- we have a kid...now," you finish nervously. did he really have to bring yeonjun up right now. "a kid?" he says, surprised. "let me see."

you show him a selfie of you and valkyrie that you took at a time when she wasn't completely hating your existence and wanting to cuddle her father instead of you. he laughs and leans back once again, "she's cute like you, she definitely got her mom's features."

"yeah and she's got her dad's attitude," you say, mostly to yourself but beomgyu catches it. "oh yeah! i wanted to say, i really like that one song you played, uh- fairy?"

"fairy of shampoo? yeah we added our own little rock twist to it," he says. "you know the lyrics are actually about y-" your phone cuts him off and you apologize, turning away to answer it. "what is it yeonjun"

beomgyu sighs in frustration when he hears you say that. when you finish talking you turn back to him and he has his eyebrow raised in question. "looks like my fun is over," you laugh dryly. he nods in understanding, "before you go though, let me get your number so we can catch up sometime."

you agree, not wanting to pass up the chance to reconnect with your now famous friend.

"maybe we'll see each other around gyu," you smile, beginning to walk away.

he smiles at the old nickname, waving you off, "i sure hope so."

[scalproie]

hot rod....

until I finally rewatch the movie and because you specified hot rod im going with the most fresh in my mind aka cyberverse roddy. Btw did you know that the only reason hot rod was absent from tv shows for so long until recently and was replaced by both bumblebee and smokescreen as the "reckless young bot who is lowkey the successor to optimus prime" character was because hasbro couldnt secure his name for toys. crazy.

favorite thing about them: love love LOVE his voice and his design, his laugh is unbelievably cute and his usual red is sooo good but the black-ish red has a special flavor to it. Love his flamethrower gimmick. His characterization is also very... cool, not a single obnoxious bone in him which you MIGHT expect from characters like him but NO, just a really cool good guy with big brother vibes. That's why he's also a bit more "mature" than you'd expect. Then there's him being a lot of the focus during the most interesting part of the show and having a really compelling arc about being put in a leadership position and how to handle it, and the show handle it really well. I'm always happy when he's on screen.

least favorite thing about them: this is literally not his fault, and this will forever be my grievance, but GOD I wish he was still a major player after the quintesson arc was done. If only cyberverse had been allowed to go on for longer.

favorite line: HDKSHDLS IT'S NOT EVEN A LINE PER SAY BUT IM ALWAYS THINKING OF THAT LITTLE "... oh." HE SAYS JUST AFTER BEING STABBED. IT SOUNDS SO GENUINE.

brOTP: aw man with bee, they have massive brothers vibes. And they work amazingly well on trios too so you can add cheetor to that list. I also love his relationships with the quintesson squad, if only there were more time dedicated to them and seeing them interact, but special mention to my girl clobber because now that was an unforeseen friendship that they managed to sell in little time, their dynamic was really fun.

OTP: take a wild guess it's with soundwave. Idk I feel Ive made my case enough already. I really felt that one.

nOTP: lol okay I dont. Downright hate anything here, its either not my thing and I'll dont care for it and ignore it. BUT if Im allowed to be mean for a second... because back in the mtmte days I was SO unimpressed with drift and with driftrod... I know it was sad/bad/whatever for comics fan but I really was like [WHEEZE] at that whole situation with drift. cyberverse really was for me I'll miss it so much.

random headcanon: he doesnt NEED to do the cartwheels to transform, we've seen him transform without the cartwheels, but he just really likes doing those. Also, post-finale, I think he would continue on his journey and become as popular a leader optimus was, and be one of the best autobot/decepticon ambassador, and encourage bots and cons cube players to mix to make new city teams. I also think he would listen much more to music, and naturally, supervise soundwave's memorial statue, even buff it every once in a while with the help of willing clones, and laugh at the situation.

unpopular opinion: I know he was never planned at all since the beginning and I know Hot Rod didnt need him and I liked that Hot Rod did his leadership journey without needing the matrix BUT cyberverse Hot Rod was extremely deserving of the matrix and I wouldve liked to see him... Rodimus...

song i associate with them: this is a bit harder to think about for cyberverse Hot Rod but "The Phoenix" by Fall Out Boys, "A Star Is Born" by Cheryl Freeman, and "Interplanetary Spark" from sega sound team

favorite picture of them: there is A LOT but. look at my boy just hanging out :)

[brelione]

Marvel Movies (Rafe,Topper,Kelce X Reader)

This takes place about a month after this.

Mentions of choking,fighting,Captain America Spoilers,Kelce being a Disney Hoe

Series Masterlist

You could hear the sound of “Lost In The Woods��� from frozen two along with the sound of a car door shutting.You grinned,looking outside your window to see Kelce walking up to your front door.He had been obsessed with the sound track since you,Rafe,Topper and him had watched it last weekend.He swung open your door,pointing at you. “DONT YOU KNOW THERES PART OF ME THAT LONGS TO GO INTO THE UNKNOWN!”He sang,swinging his arms to the tune of the song that was now playing from his earbuds.

You smiled,taking out your phone to record him. “Kel,what are you singing?”You giggled,zooming in on his face. “Bitch,you already know!!!”He said it to the same tune,making you bite your lip to hold back a snort as you saved the video to your snap chat memories.He sat down nexto to you on the couch,pulling out his earbuds. “Rafe and Top are late?”He asked.You shrugged,checking the groupchat to check what time Rafe had left his house. “Kind of but like its fine.Its my night anyways.”You reminded him.Kelce nodded,pulling his legs onto the couch and resting them across your lap. “What are we watching?”He asked,looking up to see nickelodeon on the TV.

You smiled,telling him it was a surprise before throwing his legs off you and going into the kitchen to snack prep.He followed you,not wanting to watch nickelodeon. “Hey,do you remember those brownies we ate when we were little?Like the ones with the colorful chocolate things?”You asked,opening a bag of doritos and pouring the chips into a large bowl.His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it,grabbing a capri sun from your fridge. “Debby Ryan brownies?”He asked.You turned to look at him,the empty chip bag in your hand. “Do you know who Debby Ryan is?”You asked,laughing at him.

The realization hit him,making him laugh too. “The girl from tik tok!The meme one!”He answered.You nodded,throwing the empty red bag away.You grabbed the bag of sharable m and m’s,pouring the colorful candies into a bowl as well before bringing them both into the living room and setting them down on the table.He somehow ended up laying down half on top of you,the back of his head resting on your stomach.You didnt even hear Rafe pull up,the door opening with him standing with a paper bag in his hand.You missed the way his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at the sight of Kelce laying on you,he quickly covered it with a smile.

Topper was right behind him,you turned your head to look at the blonde.You immediately burst into laughter upon seeing the pink,purple,yellow and green striped shirt he was wearing. “That’s gotta be the ugliest shirt ive ever seen.”You grinned,running your hand over Kelce’s curly hair.He rolled his eyes,sitting on the floor while Rafe put the paper bag down on the table next to the M and M’s,pulling out the contents.Sour gummy worms,dark chocolate chips,werthers caramels and a can of your favorite soda.He held the can,sitting at the end of the couch by your head so you could rest your head on his lap.He held the cool can to your forehead,knowing that you liked the feeling of the coolness.

You removed your hand from Kelce’s hair,putting on Disney Plus. “OOH-are we watching Winnie the Pooh?”Topper asked.You laughed,shaking your head as you went down to the row of Marvel Movies.Rafe had only ever seen Iron Man 2 so he wasnt very familiar with the films.Kelce preferred DC and Topper just sucked.You eventually came to The First Avenger,pressing on it.You squealed as the movie started,excited to annoy your friends.

 “I have a husband in this one too.”You smiled,remembering your huge Bucky phase in sixth grade that Rafe couldnt quite understand.He had only seen your Winter Soldier hoodie so he didnt really have a good idea of who Bucky actually was besides the fact that you loved 

him.During the scene where Steve received the Serum Topper had sat up,glancing between Steve and Rafe. “Am I the only one that sees a resemblance?”He asked.You sat up slightly,Kelce moving off of you so you could turn and look at Rafe properly.

He blushed,turning his head and looking away so you had to cup his face and get him to look at you.He bit his lip slightly,looking down at you.Topper rolled his eyes,regretting bringing it up in the first place. “Steve is more handsome.”You grinned,returning to your place on his lap.Kelce broke into laughter along with Topper,Rafe just a red mess as you continued watching the TV. “Isnt Spencer your husband?And 10K?”Kelce asked.You nodded,still watching the movie. “I thought Spencer was the love of your life?”He waited for your answer.You rolled your eyes. “I can have multiple loves of my life.”You answered,still watching the movie. “Can you pause this?”Topper asked,looking up at you from the floor.

You paused it,a bit annoyed. “What?”You asked.He opened a bag of sour gummy worms,popping one in his mouth. “How many husbands do you have?”He asked.You bit the inside of your cheek,thinking about it.Spencer Reid,Newt,Draco,Percy Jackson,Jack Frost,Peter Pan,Zuko,Prince Eric,Kristoff,Aladdin,T’Challa,Killmonger,Dallas Winston. “Uh...16.”You answered.Rafe laughed,fingers brushing against his chin as Kelce just looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who?”He asked.You blushed,counting off on your fingers. “Spencer,Newt-”Topper interrupted you. “Who is Newt?”He asked.You glared at him. “Do you not pay attention on Movie Nights?Eight months ago we watched The Maze Runner,the handsome blonde boy with the british accent.”You explained.He tried not to laugh at your passion for the topic.

 “Draco Malfoy,Percy Jackson,Jack Frost-”You were interrupted again,this time by Kelce. “The animated dude?The albino one?”He asked.You sighed,nodding.Rafe’s eyebrows knit together,frowning down at you. “You have a crush on an animated albino?”He asked.You sat up,looking between the boys. “You’re gonna tell me hes not cute as hell?Dont even act like you’re not a simp for Meg,Rafe.You too,Kelce,I saw the way you looked at Elsa when she let her hair down!”You reminded the boy.Topper laughed,forgetting that you knew all his secrets. “Dude,you were in love with Ariel when you were 10!”You exclaimed,making the boy shut up. “Who else?”Rafe asked,still curious. “Um...Peter Pan,Zuko-”You were cut off once again. 

“Birth mark dude from Avatar?”Rafe asked.You huffed loudly,stealing the bag of gummies from Topper and eating one. “ITS A BURN!”You nearly shouted. “You have such terrible taste in men.”Topper rolled his eyes.You glared at him,biting hard on your lip. “Get out.”You told him.He bit back a smile,looking up at you. “What?”He laughed.You pouted. “Go stand in the rain for two minutes.”You told him.He shook his head until you got off the couch,grabbing his hand and dragging him to the door. “You’re being mean so you have to stand in the rain.”You told him,opening the door.

He blushed,stepping outside and into the rain.He would never do this for anyone else but the smile on your face was worth it.Rafe looked outside the window,recording Topper standing in a T pose as water drenched his ugly shirt and hair.Once the two minutes was up you opened the door again,letting the wet boy come inside.He smirked before hugging you tightly,getting you completely wet. “TOPPER!”You shouted,pulling off your wet t shirt. “Dammit.”You huffed,pulling off your wet shorts and leaving yourself in just your bra and underwear. Dancing in bikinis multiple times so it wasn't that big of a deal but you didn't notice their wandering eyes. You turned to walk upstairs to change into new into new pants while top or just stood a blushing mess. 

At this point you'd forgotten about the movie and you were more focused on annoying your friends.Topper  knew better than to sit on your couch in wet clothes but unfortunately he hadn't brought a new pair to change into. So when you return downstairs in a tank top and pajama bottoms you saw topper in just his boxers sitting on your couch watching the movie.You went to sit on the couch,being pulled into Topper’s lap.When the scene of Bucky falling off the train came along Kelce had become attached,standing up to shout at the tv while you started crying a bit,Topper kissing your forehead lightly. “WHERES THE NEXT ONE?”Kelce asked.You grinned,grabbing the remote and moving on to Winter Soldier. 

“Theres like a ton of movies between these two but like we can watch those eventually.”You shrugged,ending up wedged between Rafe and Topper,Rafe’s fingers twisting your hair and tracing figure eights along the back of your neck. “On your left!”You spoke at the same time as Sam,grinning.Kelce grinned. “So thats why you always say that!”He put the puzzle pieces together.When Nat pulled up you saw the way Topper’s jaw dropped,you smiled. “I know,right?Shes like really fucking pretty.”You grinned,head against Rafe’s chest.Topper had began to doze off when Bucky came on with his metal arm,waking up fully again when he heard you whisper “He could literally choke me with his metal arm.”under your breath.He burst out laughing for a reason that Rafe nor Kelce could understand,plotting to use it against you in the future.

Somehow Topper had managed to fall asleep against your leg while Rafe had gotten you onto his lap,your head in the crook of his neck as you watched Steve get the living shit beat out of him.Kelce was on the edge of his seat,completely invested in the story. “Can we watch the next one?”He asked.You smiled,pleased with his excitement. “Tomorrow morning,okay?”You asked.He huffed but nodded,grabbing the blanket he usually used.Rafe pulled a blanket over the two of you,allowing you to sleep on top of him.The four of you must’ve slept in pretty late,waking up to your 1 P.M alarm that told you to take your daily vitamins.You groaned,attempting to move but being held by Rafe.

You yawned,seeing Topper in his deep,drooling double-chin sleep.You flicked Rafe across the head so he’d wake up,the brunette waking with a grumble. “Rafe,you gotta let go.”You smiled,kissing his nose tiredly.He grinned,letting you off his lap.You shook Kelce’s shoulder as you walked by,your shorts riding up.Kelce got up with a groan,the blanket rolling around his body like a burrito as he stumbled into the kitchen.You got yourself a glass of water,putting your four vitamin pills into your palm.He watched as you took them,grinning at you. “Good girl.You want breakfast?”He asked.You shrugged,still tired.Topper walked into the kitchen,wiping his face of drool and carrying the bowl of m and ms.

 “Hey,do you still have those frozen strawberries?”He asked.You nodded,watching as he grabbed the bag of fruit from your freezer along with almond milk,whipper cream,hot fudge and banana. “Where’s Rafe?”Kelce asked,his question being answered by the universe when the Steve Rogers look alike walked in,turning on the keurig.Kelce put some bread in the toaster,taking out the eggs and a frying pan and starting to make some scrambled for Rafe,some fried for you and an m and m omlet for Topper.Speaking of the blonde,he was pouring frozen strawberries,fudge,banana slices and almond milk into the blender,switching it on and dancing to the sounds of the strawberries being crushed.As the eggs began to cook Kelce quickly handed Rafe his mug before grabbing a glass,putting a layer of m and ms and whipped cream at the bottom,adding two spoon fulls of sugar,some milk and mixing it all together until it was a colorful slop,pouring ice in the cup before brewing some italian coffee to top it off.

As it brewed he rushed to flip the eggs,cursing when he realised the edges were burnt.He tossed it onto a plate,sprinkling some italian seasoning on it and taking the toast out of the toaster for you.He grabbed a jar of your favorite jelly,spreading a thin layer on both slices,reaching over Rafe’s head to hand you the plate.You thanked him,ripping the slice of toast in half.Topper turned off the blender,pouring its contents into a glass and making a huge mountain of whipped cream before sitting across from you.You smirked,reaching your fork over to get some whipped cream.He gasped,jaw dropping as he stared at you. “So you’re gonna put me in the rain for two minutes and now youre taking away my whipped cream?Do you wanna fight?”He asked,leaning forward.

You used your fork,knocking over the mountain of whipped cream before getting up and running down the hall.He ran after you,grabbing you by your wrist and pinning you against the wall of the guest room,panting.You two stared at eachother for a while,his bare chest pressed against you.His eyes flicked between your eyes and your lips,leaning down so his forehead was pressed against yours.So much was happening at once,you couldnt even comprehend it.But then from the kitchen you heard an argument starting,Topper letting go of your wrists as they two of you went back to the kitchen. “The third one is the best!” “FUCK YOU IN THE ASS,BITCH!”You walked in,looking between the two boys. 

“What is going on?”You asked.Kelce looked over at you,spatula in hand. “Which Descendants film is better?Two or Three?”He asked.You shook your head,sitting back down to eat your toast. “Fuck-dammit,Topper!You made my toast untoast!”You exclaimed,waving the uncrunchy bread.Kelce frowned,eyes softening. “Do you want me to make you more?”He asked.You shook your head. “No,its fine,Kelce.”You grinned,taking a sip of your coffee.It was sweet and creamy and pretty good,somehow Kelce always made the best coffee no matter what he put in it.Rafe looked between you and Topper,sensing that something had happened in the room.He hoped that Topper wouldnt intentionally hurt him like that,hoping Kelce wouldnt either.A plate of scrambled eggs was put in front of Rafe along with a bottle of barbecue sauce,making you stare at him in disgust. “I cant believe you put barbecue sauce on your eggs.”You shook your head,taking a bite of the toast and getting excited when you heard a crunch. “Oh-hey,dont worry!It didnt untoast”You grinned,enjoying it.

@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​  @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​ 

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[arthurflecksgirl]

I have a request for you❤️ could you please write something about the scene in the subway? I was thinking: female reader and Artie are in the subway (idk if u want Carnival or not) and the female reader leaves Artie alone while she's in the bathroom and when she comes back she sees the three Wall Street guys bothering Artie for his laugh🙁 She protect Artie but then they start bothering her too, and one of them tries to slap her. Artie takes the gun off and kill them and she's afraid. THX❤️❤️❤️

Hey my lovely Anon, thank you so much for the request . I finally wrote that piece you asked for and I really hope you like how it turned out to be. Much love your way.

Arhur leaned his tired head against the subway window. His sad eyes gave his painted face a tragic look. The green Carnival wig looked like something that didnt belonged to him anymoe. He sqeezed your hand so tight you could almost feel your bones cracking, but he didnt dared to look you in the eyes. Arthur felt too embarassed about losing  his job minutes ago. That was something he was always worried about. Especially since you moved into his apartment with him. The thought of himself not being able to pay rent anymore was something he just didnt knew how to handle. He wanted you to offer a home. A save place where no worries could ever bother you. And now everything was uncertain.  The fact that you had to spent your life in Gotham city was hard enough for him. A city which showed its harsh face every day.

His apartment was the only place you felt save and he was aware of that. Depite the fact that these four walls held so many bad memories for him, the place transformed into something beautiful since he wasnt alone anymore. He felt like living there with you now put a spell all over the place. One that had the power to overcome the horror of what happened here before. Your love was the cure to everything. Even his past. And even though his inner scars would always remain, you covered and healed them with your love everyday. Letting him know how important he was , how much he mattered.

You tried to caress his hand with your thumb but he held your fingers so close in his fist that you weren`t able to do so. "Artie, you know that it wasnt your fault, right? You did nothing wrong. "

Arthur didnt answer. You knew that if he didnt reply he was so hurt that the words got stuck in his throath. "Artie? Please. It breaks my heart to see you like that."

He was still facing the window. The view outside made him even sadder. The skyscrapers passing by. That cold looking city. All he wanted to be was the light that illuminated this shitty place. But people wouldnt allow him to.  People saw darkness in him. Just a weird, dark guy. They tried to dim his light by making fun of him. By abandon him until he felt none existend.

You were the only one who made him feel seen. Who illuminated his light with every word, every touch, every kiss. His eternal flame. But sometimes he just couldnt say anything. Sometimes the words got stuck in there and all he was able to let out was laughter. He knew the moment he opened his mouth right now all there would be was a laugh. And he didnt wanted to do that to you. So he kept it all inside.

You wanted to touch his face, to caress his white cheeks.

A song was running through your head

"...to touch the the face of Carnival."

You wish you could, but Arthur seemed so far away right now. So hurt in his own world.

"Dont be disappointed in yourself, sweetheart. Hoyt is an aweful person. He always treated you like shit. He doesnt even deserve Carnival to work for him. You are better than that!"

Arthur pressed one silent tear out of his left eye. His tears always remained silent. His laugh was cruel and loud and merciless. The loudest cry of them all. But his tears remained in silence. Unseen by most people. But you noticed them.

You always did.

Your whole body twitched as Arthur banged his head against the window. Another  dark blue tear rolled down his well defined cheek bone. He didnt reacted to what he just did. He was used to it.

"Arthur no!" you took your other hand to place it on his forehead "Please look at me, darling. Don`t punish yourself. Please I am begging you."

Arthur turned his head to face you. His eyes closed. He was still to embarrassed to look you in the eyes. You kissed his closed eyelids so softly it made him lose another tear. Your lips found his salty diamond and kissed it away immediately. The familiar taste of face paint lingered on your lips.

Arthur whimpered silently, now that he was finally able to look at you "I`m so sorry. So endlessly sorry about not being good enough. I thought I was. I thought I could protect you. From....everything. From Gotham and from not having enough money....I thought I`m a good boyfriend and I wanted you to offer you a home and now I dont know how to anymore. We gotta pay rent next month, Y/N. And how would we be able to? I only have 20 dollars left in my pockets. I thought I was going to be a stand up comedian and I dreamed about having my own tv show and fantasized about how proud you would be of me. Seeing me on the screen! I thought I would be invited by Murray and.........now I realize it was nothing more than stupid dreams. Illusions. And we cannot make a living like that. And thats all my fault. Because I got fired. You deserve better. Someone who can protect you!"

Now that he was finally talking all the words he held back escaped his lips one after another.  Arthur now held both of your hands "Please belive me all I ever wanted to do was to protect you! From all troubles in life. "

Hearing say those words hit you hard. Because right from the very first day you thought he was the one who needed protection. The man that never learned how it is to be loved in return. Arthur never experienced being protected. Not even from his own parants. Especially not from them. You felt like everything he wanted to give you was what he needed most.

"I know, Artie. And you do. You do protect me from the world. And I will do too. We`ll protect each other, right? Sometimes bad things happen. But we will get through it together now. You dodnt have to face them alone anymore. Ever."

Arthur nodded, resting his head upon your shoulder. He was tired. More than that he was emotionally exhausted. His puffy wig tickled your chin. The woman that was sitting across you for the last 10 minutes left the subway. You were alone now. Before she left she gave Arthur an dirty look.

"What is it?" you asked. But the old lady didnt reacted.

"See?" Arthur shrugged "Its always like that. I.....I dont know what is wrong with me. Baby, please tell me what is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Arthur. Its them. Its peoples ignorance. They are just cold hearted and they judge you before they get to know you."

He took his wig off.

"Its because I`m a clown". Even when I`m taking my costume and make up off. All that remains is a fucking clown. Thats how they see me. No matter how they call me. "

"And I love that clown. He brightens up my world with his jokes and dances...he`s my sun. " you gently placed a kiss upon his sad frown.

"I love you" he whispered "I love you so much I feel it in my guts. Your love re-arranges all those things that are wrong inside of me".

"There is nothing wrong inside of you, Arthur!"

"It is....and I am aware of that. But you still love me and thats more I could ever ask for. " He touched your face to kiss you with his big, red mouth.

"I´m very much in love with that clown" you giggled. And for the first time today Arthur smiled behind his fake smile. He pointed into his pocket and leaned in on you "You know what Y/N? I have my gun with me. I was thinking about.....well...robbing the pharmacy or something. To make sure we can pay the rent. I dont want you to worry about that all month. I was playing it through in my head the minute I got fired...."

You coudlnt deny that his words shocked you a little. Would he really do somethign like that? Robbing a place? Woukd he go that far?

"Arthur, baby. No. No, non,no. Dont think like that.  You dont have to, okay? We`ll only get in more trouble..."

He nodded " Yeah....that was stupid I know.....but....I wouldnt hurt anyone. I`ll just take the money and run. You know I`m a fast runner, right?"

"Yeah I know you are but....Robbing a place? No. We gotta figure soemthing out to pay rent, okay?  I know we will. Something legal."

Arthur nodded. His eyes lighted up a bit.

"And I know that you will protect me from anything. I knew it right from the second I first saw you. That we will take care of each other."

Arthur seemed irritated when you got off your seat.

"I have to go to the toilet. I`ll be right back, okay?"

"Okay" he put his wig into his  bag. His brown curls sticking sweaty to his forehead.

Arthur continued looking out the window as the subway arrived the next station. People rushed by in a hurry. Everyone seemed so busy with their lifes. He thought about how people never see each other. How they keep passing each other by without taking notice. Arthur was a good observer. He noticed anything. Sometimes even more than what was really there.

His heart broke for a little kid who was dragged away by his mother. A violent grab. She got her arm pulled in a way that didnt felt right. Arthur tried to get a closer glimpse and noticed bruises on the little girls arm. He felt triggered. It only took him seconds to break out in a painful laughter. It was loud enough to make you notice from the bathroom. You started to get nervous. Was he crying because you left him sitting there all by himself? Even if it was just for three minutes? You shoudlnt have done that. Leaving him alone in his condition.

Arthur covered his open mouth with both of his hands as three guys entered the subway. They already gave him a look, even though he managed to keep calm. They hated clowns. he just knew it. He felt it in his bones. Arthurs body started to hurt. Every muscle felt like it was on fire.

"Gosh...look at this freak" one of the guys pointed at Arthur "Oh my god" the other one replied "What the fuck is he all about? Look at those shoes. Ridiculous!"

Arthur looked down to his feet. His red and blue clown shoes stared back at him. He may never wear them again if he coudln`t find a new job as a party clown. A heavy sadness got to his heart as he tried to swallow another laughing fit. If only he could cry out loud in public. Peple would know how he really felt then. And he wanted them to know how hurt he was. How cruel the world has treated him. He finally had a girlfriend, someone who truly loved him, someone to share his life with. The worst timing to lose his job. The absolute worst.

"Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you?" the tallest one of the guys laughed.

You could hear from the toilet room that someone was talking to him but it was hard to actually make out the words.

"I`m a.....party clown....I do little dances for kids and...."

He used to be a party clown.  Something he lost today. This hurt so much.

The tall guy sat down beside Arthur, taking his bag, throwing all his clown gear out. "Ohhh look! Its a clown! So,....can you dance for us ?" The other guys started laughing. Arthur swallowed down his pain but it kept crawling up his throath. He pressed his hand hard against his lips. A cough. And another. It hurt so much. Especially on the inside.

"C`mon, dance for us" the guy yelled at Arthurs face as he grabbed his wig and put it on himself "Stop laughing you psycho. Whats your fucking problem?"

Arthur tried to get his card. It wasnt in his pocket anymore. Maybe he lost it. Like his mind.

"I have a condition...." his voice cracked.

"Obviously, you sick fuck!" the bully smashed the wig right into Arthurs face. This made him laugh even harder.

Arthur was desperately trying to breathe when you finally got out of the bathroom, realizing that he just got bullied again.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Leave him alone!" you got Carnivals wig back. "Whhooo hoo lady. Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?"

One of the other guys took two stepts closer "Yeah, right. "

"I`m his girlfriend and you better go now! Can`t you see that he is in pain?" you replied. Arthur was still trying to breathe. Unable to do anything else. You touched his shoulder "It`ll be okay, baby. "

The third guy made a voice "Its okay baaaabyyy...hahahahah how desperate!"

You felt anger rising inside of you. Seeing Arthur fighting for air while others made fun of him was something that broke your heart.

"YOU are the ones who are desperate. Bullying a stranger on the subway for wanting to bring other people joy!"

"What did you just called me?" the guys eyes turned darker "Did you just called me desperate?"

You watched over to Arthur he was shaking his head, coughing. You didnt knew what to say. The situation started to get tense. And all of the sudden you felt  a fist hitting you right in the face. Your head started spinning and your vision blurred. You felt your knees weaken before you fell to the groud.

And for a moment everything blacked out.

That moment was longer than it seemed.

Everything changed  until you woke up again.

"Y/N?, Honey. We gotta get out of here!" It was Arthurs voice. His laughter was gone. He sounded nervous but confident.

You rubbed your eyes "What....was happening. Are you...okay? Arthur?"

"Yeah we`re okay. But we gotta go NOW. We dont have any time to lose."

There was blood on his face. His yellow vest was covered with red stains.

"Is that....your blood? Did they hurt you, baby?"

"No...its not mine... "

"What do you mean by...." the dizzyness was still taking over you. You tried to make sense out of this situation, but everything was a blurr.

Arthur grabbed your hand, helped you to get up "Run" he yelled as the subway door opened. You now noticed the guy who hit you was lying on the ground. Shot dead. You couldnt see the other ones. All went by too fast. You tried to run as fast as possible. It was hard to keep up with him.

Gotham was passing by like in a unrealisic dream as you both ran out of the subway station.

"What did you do?" you felt tears running down yor face. Afraid of what Arthur just did.

"I protected you" he yelled breathlessly "Like I promised".

You ran.

You both ran hand in hand like your life depended on it. Any maybe it did.

Arthur lead you into a public bathroom. Closing the door behind you, letting his bag fall to the ground. Breathing heavily.

He looked like he was about to pass out any second.

Your hand gently wiped the sweaty curls out of his eyes while you kissed the tip of his nose. remains of blood covering his chin.

"Arthur....I`m not sure what happened."

"That guy slapped you" his intense eyes pierced you like they never did  before.

"I remember that. And then it all went black."

Arthur pulled his gun "I took care of it. No one hurts my girl. No one in this fucking city will hurt you."

Now you knew. He did it. Arthur killed someone.

You tried to collect your thoughts, which seemed an impossible thing to do.

"You....killed those guys?"

"Mmhh hmm...yeah I had to. I mean...They wanted to hurt my angel" Arthur took you in his arms and all you could do was cry. You cried so hard into his yellow vest you didnt even cared that it was stained with blood. The bloody fabric soaked up your tears as you let go and allowed yourself to cry like never before.

And then something magical happened. Arthurs body started to shake. But there was not the slightest sound of laughter.

He was crying,too.

Arthur was finally able to cry.

He was sobbing into your neck like a little boy, telling you that killing them off was the only way to not let them harm you ever again.

"Who knows what they would have done if I hadnt stopped them. I knew I had to take action. I can handle people hitting me, but I cant let them hurt you, honey. I just can`t."

You kissed his shaking lips "What if they will find us?"

"They won`t" he said while the tears ran down his face. The clown make up started to came of. You kissed the part of his skin that got exposed. Traces of Artie. Of the man who would protect you over anything.

"I dont want you to kill someone.....Oh my god Arthur....I`m so afraid....."

"Dont be" Arthur said. "I coudnt protect you from not being able to pay rent but I was able to protect you from the bad guys. And we woudln`t get caught. Trust me. Do you trust me?"

"I trust you, Arthur!"

"Miracles still happen" he said "I mean...look at me. I am actually crying! iI have waited for this moment all my life. To actually be able to cry." his body was a shaky mess buthe seemed happier.

You wiped his tear away with your index finger and licked it off.

"I feel good" Arthur parted your lips with his tongue and kissed you passionately. His red lipstick smeared up all over your chin.

And as you tasted his salty diamond tears you knew that miracles truly do exist.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hello there! I hope you are fine.Okaaaay so I'd like to have a matchup! That's my first time doing this so I hope that's fine and doesn't take much time!

So uh I'm 17 and a pan. I have short, straight black hair with black-ish big eyes. I have an round face with chubby cheeks even though I'm a bit of the thin side.I have long eyelashes and wear glasses. So basically I have baby face and I don't show my age at all! As for my height I'm 5"7(1.70 cm)

For my personality, I'm that mom-friend that every friend group has. Need some painkillers? BAM! Need some pads? Do you need 1 or 50? You are hurt? Don't worry I have an aid kit. Your stomach or head hurts? Honey, don't you worry I have a various kind of herb teas with myself.

If someone needs a shoulder to cry on, that person is me. If somebody hurts my friends I go like "So you are saying that he/she/they broke your heart? Okay give me the names and addresses. Now."I would deal with them and then say "So do I need to break some more faces?" I'm not that violent but if they touch my family and friends.... May God help them.

But I'm actually very kind and smiley. I'm the kind of person who smiles at strangers, hold the door for them, talk with a waiter casually and smile at them as well. I never judge someone for their nationality, skin color, language, sexuality etc. And If I see someone bully another person for these reasons or another one, I stand against the bully and if needed I beat them.

I may seem like an cold and serious person at first meeting but over time I'm the biggest goofball and crackheaf you can ever see! Sometimes I'm a bit sarcastic and tease my closest friends a lot- ofc I never offend them. I know what they are insecure about( if they are, WHICH isn't allowed on my watch.- and My friends always tell me that I kinda flirt with them but I never realize and When I actually try to flirt, I can't?

For the hobbies; I love watching anime, listening and observing people, comforting people or just listen their rantings, reading, listening music and singing.... I am not that good at gardening and stuff but sometimes I do this as well...

🍰 for @unabashednightmarepizza

Romantic Matchup

Sugawara Koushi

How yall met

You guys actually had a lot of mutual friends

And he always heard your name come up

Like everytime he was around his friends he heard

“Oh you're hungry? go find Y/n she always carries snacks

“Sorry i don't have any tylenol, but Y/n usually has some”

“Omg i love y/n she is always so nice!”

So when Kiyoko told the team they were getting a new manager named Y/n

He immediately recognized you as the girl all his friends talk about

And when you walked into the gym

Suga was taken aback

You were STUNNING

You went over to him and introduced yourself

“Hey aren't you one of F/N friends?’’

Uhm yeah! I'm suga it's nice to meet you”

You ended up inviting him to hang out with you and F/N at the fair in town after practice

Of course he agreed to come

The rest of practice went all like usual

And when it was over you and suga started walking to the fairgrounds;;;. together

But once you got there your friend had texted you that something came up and she couldn't make it

Looks like it was just gonna be you and suga

But you saw this as a good opportunity to get to know him so you didn't mind

Omg you two had so much fun!

You rode every ride possible and even won some of the fair games

You and suga started hanging out a lot more after that day

And after a few months he found the guts to ask you out

What they love about you

Ok first off

This man loves EVERYTHING about you

But if we're gonna be picky

He loves how caring you are

You always seem to be doing SOMETHING for SOMEONE

It doesn't matter if its a stranger or one of your friends

Your always helping people

Whether that be by feeding them

Supplying them with anything they need

Helping them with homework

Or even just checking in on them

Your kind to everyone you meet and he loves it!

He loves how you would NEVER judge anyone

You treat everyone as equals

No matter their

Race

Gender

Age

Sexuality

Background

(Which btw period we love that)

he loves that you just accept everyone for who they are

He loves that you're secretly a crackhead

Even though you look like your all sweet and innocent

Your secretly a little gremlin

Which is great because he is to

We all know that suga is secretly very chaotic dont try me

So you guys always have little moments where you just get into all sorts of trouble together

And he loves to have those little moments with you

What you love about them

You love that he is also the mom friend

You and him are both basically the therapist friends

Which is actually a really good thing

Because no one ever really check in on the therapist friend yk

But you guys make sure to check in on eachother

You love that it's never awkward with him

You know those times where people just fall into that awkward silence?

Yeah that never happens with you two

Usually you both are always talking about something

And even when it is silent

It's still never awkward

Everything with Suga just feels so natural

And you don't know why/how

But your not complaining either soooo

Favorite things to do together

Oh literally anything

He just really likes to spend time with you

But once again if we're gonna get picky

He likes to read with you while listening to music

It's always a vibe when yall do this

You just put on some chill music and read in silence together

He likes to watch tv and cuddle with you

He finds these kinds of moments with you very intimate

But deciding on what to watch get very...interesting

“But you said i could pick the show this time”

“We are not going to watch The Promised Neverland for the 8th time”

He likes to just sit and talk to you

It can be about anything

Literally anything

And you guys don't even have to go in depth with these conversation either

He genuinely just likes conversing with you

Random Hc

Suga has a green thumb

So he always helps you with gardening

He's had to hold you back from beating up your friends ex

Until he heard what they did

Then he let you go ham

You guys go to the carnival every year for your anniversary

He will literally only drink the tea you make him

Or he'll make the tea you've taught him how to make

Ever since he's tried your tea everyone elses just tastes wrong

Overall Aesthetic

Cottagecore/Soft girl/boy

Songs-

Corduroy Dreams (rex orange county)

Sunkissed (khai dreams)

Sunflower (Harry Styles)

Hey Lover (wabie)

Campus (vampire weekend)

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

I’ve never watched it, so i can’t say much but after those screenshots i doubt i will lol.

absolute screeching at the idea of desi tony the tiger, thank you for that mental image. honestly i feel like most brown people would like to be blissfully ignorant to the idea that queer Indians exist which is honestly sometimes nicer than hearing homophobic/transphobic shit.

haha i mean it kind of makes sense that you weren’t at your parents wedding where premarital sex is a big no-no. but I’ve only been to like three weddings and yeah, they always make comments when the bride even ever do slight sticks up for herself :/

also indian weddings are where a lot of the gossip happens lmao

me too, i absolutely love Hindu myths and arjun is a favorite of mine. draupadi is also high on my list; she raises so many valid points in the original texts about women and misogyny, plus i watched a tv show about the Mahabharata and the actress who played her was really pretty.... so potential childhood gay crush lol

it wasn’t by any means accepting, but kind of acknowledged that queer people existed. also the idea of lgbt heroes makes my heart really happy..

i don’t and i don’t think I’ve heard of it, but it sounds rlly cool! i don’t watch a lot of telugu shows, but sometimes i listen to bits in the background cause my parents watch a lot of dhee :)

every time i send you a super long anon, i feel like i’m writing a letter to a long lost friend. so *dips quill in ink* i hope that the weather is treating you well and you have plenty good harvest

with a casual shoulder bump

- indi <3

who needs a desi tony the tiger when we have the tide ads like "aVoKaYyArA?????" those will never fail to make me lose my mind. i do agree that its nice to just be ignored rather than blatantly hated, but its kinda... pick your poison, yk?

lmao yeah, i was born a year after they got married, and ive been to three or four weddings but they were all a while ago and im the most mature and usually the oldest relative who has the time to care for the kids so im always just wrangling twenty to thirty kids at the lowest lmao. one time i actually made and brought one of those ropes with hairbands on them for kids to put their hands in so they walk in a straight line in schools? that was much easier but i wasnt allowed to bring it again :(

sooo true ive discovered so many scandals in my family through weddings, sometimes i have to pinch myself to make sure i havent dropped into a weird dream where im in an indian serial bc its so dramatic

Draupadi is awesome, yes!!! idk if youve heard of it but theres a book series called the Pandava Quintet, starting with Aru Shah and the End of Time, and its basically the Pandavas reincarnated as middle school girls, and its really good, i love it, and the reincarnation of Draupadi is referred to as wifey once they know who it is and its honestly hilarious.

i read the Mahabharata when i was really young in telugu, i dont know if i'll be able to do that again, but at some point i'll find an english translated version and read it, bc i remember most of the stories, but it'll be nice to have it all put together.

i havent seen dhee whats it about? but you should watch dancee+, the host talks forever but its mostly fun and it's super cool to see such talented dancers do takes on popular songs, and im gay crushing on two of them 😌 plus they like to stir up drama between the judges for shits and giggles so you have a little bit of everything (and kids are adorbable i want to adopt them 🥺)

no but it feels exactly like that for me!! im a sucker for writing letters so this is actually awesome, so *taps quill on well to get rid of excess ink* the weather is as kind as it desires, and its desires are as fleeting as the wind, and strawberries, grapes, and other fruits have been plentiful and eaten, but blueberries have been stolen away by thieves in feathered cloaks. i wish you plenty in return, and hope the world is kinder to you than ever. (signed, the dark prince of the night)

*bumps your shoulder back like besties in a hallway*

i love you indi <3

[skautism]

hiiiiiii I wuz tagged by @mausoleumdoorz to do these 30 questions abt me!!! thanx dude

name: mostly brody, but also keys and rzr

gender: something androgyne/bigender but the girl part is more he/him than the dude part but the dude part is more prevalent. both want to look like 2005 william beckett.

sign: aquarius sun/scorpio moon/capricorn venus

height: like 5'4.5

time: 647pm

bday: feb 19

fav bands: the academy is..., cobra starship, the hush sound, also a lot more but esp those ^~^

fav solo artists: mostly pop queens like kesha, tswift, n carly rae jepsen :D

song stuck in my head: swing swing by aar

last movie I watched: uhhhhh idk :( i watch tv shows more than movies. maybe the clockwork orange??? i didnt like that movie

last show I watched: either rick and morty or spn. ur allowed to judge me

when I made this blog: early 2018 when I got my first phone!! i was 12 :) dont make a tumblr if ur 12/13 I beg of you. leave now.

what I post: bands and absolute bullshit

last thing I googled: reaction images

any sideblogs: the only one I actually use is @rzrskttlz and also a bunch of hoarded urls

do I get asks much: not rly xP

why I chose this url: look at him. cmon.

following: 4492 blogs and I bet most of them are inactive and from my theatre phase

followers: 1038 and I bet most of them are inactive and from my theatre phase

avg hours of sleep: who the fuck knows

lucky number: 19

do I play any instruments: mostly bass and piano, also guitar and alto sax, and im learning drums

what im wearing: skinny black tripp jeans that are built for someone way taller and and with wider hips, a tapestry belt from disneyworld (ew ik), and a shirt from this annual halloween parade (the 2018 one tho, I obv didnt go this year)

dreamjob: singer and/or bassist of a band <3 if I get good enough I wanna write lyrics too

dream trip: idk xP maybe japan or nyc

fav food: this weird spaghetti my mom makes a couple times a month and its basically a perfect meal (like with the nutrition in it). its spaghetti, butter, parmesan, olive oil, onions and red peppers, chicken, and artichoke hearts and its fucking awesome

nationality: southeast american (I like the waffle houses here I have to specify)

last book I read: lily and dunkin

fav song: it changes every 2 business days but uhhhh paparazzi by lady gaga

fav fictional universe: the a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me mv

tagging uhhh @mikeyraygun @stupidblue @themadgearandkobrakid @itswarmerinthebasement if yall wanna

[iridescentides]

hello again dia!!! i hope you've been having a good weekend 💙 i know that you love austin & ally and i wanted to know what are some of your favorite episodes/moments/characters? i've never watched the show myself so maybe your love for it will rub of and finally convince me 😋 - gcwca secret santa 🎅🎁🎄

AHHHHHH HI thank you for asking! this show is literally so special to me. 

i accidentally wrote a very long response so its under the cut:

i wanna start off by saying that the characters are why i love it the most. austin and ally is my number one comfort show, and specifically dez, trish, and austin are my comfort characters. not saying that i dont like ally; shes nice and obviously very essential to the loving group dynamic but the other three are so fun and wacky and interesting and just some of my favorite characters of all time.

i think at the heart of it my favorite thing about the show is the love. its all good vibes and none of the emergencies are really that deep, and the main four just care about each other so much and show it in so many ways!!! i love their whole friend group dynamic bc when one of them has a problem, they all work together to solve it. and each dyad has their own little relationship thats special in its own way. they hang out at the mall 24/7 (which is a DREAM scenario bc the mall is my favorite place to be) and just have adventures together and learn about each other.

my absolute favorite episode is s03e19, beauties and bullies, bc its all about trish. there are a few trish-centric episodes in the show, and everyone gets their spotlight at one point or another, but this is one of the only episodes that allows her to be open with her emotions. shes the toughest one in the group, always loud and brave and explosive, but in this episode she is the one that needs help, support, and comfort. i love the consistency in her characterization in this episode bc she is so reluctant to be on the receiving end of this support, and she even convinces her friends shes fine at first. and even though its not a role they typically play for her bc shes so good at defending herself, the group quickly springs into action to protect her, to care for her, to help her through it bc they know that thats their job as her closest friends. it literally makes me cry every time. plus i love that its ultimately dez who figures out who the bully is bc even though hes generally seen as dumb and imperceptive, it shows that he seriously cares about trish and is able to pick up on details when it comes to helping her, or any of his friends for that matter.

my favorite season is s4 bc of the tangible growth and change we see in everyone, but especially austin. season 4 really just shows how much they have all impacted each other, and how no matter what happens, they will always be in each others lives. in this season we see them take on a more serious and practical goal together, opening up their own music school. each of them takes on a role that plays to their strengths, and i absolutely love the teamwork. one of the overarching themes of the season is role modeling, and it makes me extremely emotional to see each of them channel their passion into helping kids pursue similar goals. the season is great in so many ways.

but season 4 austin moon is by far the best austin moon. at the beginning of the show he was a goofy kid who dreamed about being famous and pursued the goal very selfishly, even stealing allys song in the first episode and becoming an overnight internet sensation off of it. he was always loving, enthusiastic, sweet, and charming, but throughout the series we see him learn how to be a friend and how to care for other people. in the beginning, being a star is all that matters to him, and we watch ally very patiently, but skillfully, set an example for him of respecting other peoples time, effort, and attention. my favorite thing about austin is that he always has the best intentions at heart, and when he messes something up, he puts in genuine care to fix it in a meaningful way. lots of tv protagonists cause problems and then “fix” them halfheartedly and we just forgive them bc we have to and we move on with the show. but austin consistently learns and grows and keeps doing better for the people he cares about most, he comes through for them at the most unexpected times, and he picks them up when theyre down. even as he gets more famous and successful, his friends continue to come first. (i dont want to spoil too much plot wise, but) at the beginning of season 4 austin is unable to perform publicly, and it really hurts and breaks him bc performing is his favorite thing to do; his dream has always been to be a pop star. so when the music school opens in s4 we see him actively, selflessly, channel all of his passion for the thing he loves most, and give it to kids in a meaningful and special way. he has grown from a well-intentioned but self-absorbed teenager into a very caring and kind young adult who makes a difference in the lives of other people. he struggles with his identity and defining himself without his dream, but quickly gets to work making an active positive impact on those around him.

my all time favorite moment of the show, even though its super small, is dez’s solo in the song at the end of s03e06, glee clubs and glory. dez is the most routinely overlooked member of the group bc hes so goofy and quirky. he says a million things that dont make any sense, and he is definitely the comic relief character. however, the reason i love him (and why im like 80% sure hes my actual favorite of the four of them, even though its so hard for me to decide officially) is because despite all the little jokes and jabs at his expense, despite the goofiness that keeps others from taking him seriously, despite being knocked down so many times, he never stops dreaming. he literally never gives up. he has so much passion and enthusiasm inside of him, and he is overflowing with love and affection for his friends. he loves making videos but also pursues a billion different little hobbies. he has sooo many hidden talents, and thats something i was pointing out to my gf when i first showed her the show; dez is so incredibly capable and skilled, but so humble about it. he does things not for an end goal, but for the joy of participating, and when he doesnt get all the spotlight or attention, thats okay with him bc he had such a good time anyway. so in this episode, glee clubs and glory, after being passed up for the glee club over and over again, then letting his enthusiasm get the best of him as captain, and then being dethroned at the end of it all, he is still so happy to get his little moment in the end because hes truly a team player. its nice to see him shine. heres a link to the performance and the part im talking about is at 1:30. 

OKAY i am gonna stop there bc theres a million little things that i love about the show but i already wrote you an essay. i guess the last thing i wanna say is that every single austin moon song fucking slaps. my favorite is probably the main title theme song (can’t do it without you) bc not only is it the ultimate BOP but they also reference it periodically throughout the show to acknowledge that they are all successful because of each other, and the friendship as a whole makes each of them stronger than they are individually. my other faves from the show are a billion hits, steal your heart, stuck on you, and chasin’ the beat of my heart.

(okay i lied i have ONE more final closing thought! i dont really love the romantic pairing of austin/ally, i like them better platonically. not saying that they make a bad couple by any means. but i just hate the trope that the main girl/boy HAVE to get together so as a concept it bugs me. but i lowkey ship trish/dez a little bit.)

TLDR; the characters are literally all my favorite for different reasons, and the best thing about the show to me is their group dynamic and the ways that they consistently show love and care for each other.

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

The Ninja as Things My Friends and I Have Said

My friend keeps a quote-book and I thought y’all would enjoy this lol

Jay: say your last words to me, I’m about to be smited

Jay: I am so bright, I am star

Kai: Pickles and Dick Jay: Pickle my dick? Kai: PICKLE AND DICK! Lloyd: TICKLE MY DICK?

Kai: I want to play hot potato with a hand grenade

Lloyd: this chocolate milk mocks me

Kai: Can we all agree that when Jay walks he looks like a flamboyant gay drag-queen toddler

Lloyd, looking at a tampon: is that a cheese stick?

Kai: Where you at you little hoe?

Cole: Don’t do gay it’s not healthy 

Jay: I live life as a pirate. Because a pirate is free

Jay: The sun's only up for half the year in Alaska Cole: We have that too. It's called nighttime

Morro: Lick his nuts, they have a sorta Mexican flavor

Kai: I need to be surrounded with seven beautiful naked women in order to sleep at night

Lloyd: You know how there's like a line between bravery and stupidity? Nya: Jay is that line

Jay: Disclaimer: I am an anxious bean

Wu: It’s not your fault but it is your problem

Cole: I can't keep a straight face anymore. It's gay now.

Lloyd: That was such a late reaction it could've been my dad coming back

Zane: DISCO PENIS

Kai: I wanna stand around and look GORGEOUS

Kai: I'm outrageously good-looking Zane: No you’re not

Lloyd: I admit when I'm wrong! Kai: Oh yeah. But I'm like never wrong!

All of the ninja, always: It would be so much fun to hurt a bad person

Zane: what state do I live in? Jay: depression

Kai: cool onesie... can I get inside it?

Lloyd: They call me Santa. I bring snow to the children.

Kai: Don't fucking giggle you little shit.

Nya: I will beat you with a meat stick

Cole: You moan more than the dumpster out back

Wu: Don't stick the plungers on your foreheads!

Garmadon: whY are you SMelLING the plungers?

Zane: How does one piss in a watermelon?

Lloyd: When I become 99 pounds I'm going to eat a pound of chicken nuggets so I can be 1% chicken nugget. It's indisputable.

Cole: It smells like SHIT. Like it smells kinda okay now, but it still smells like shit. So it's like. Perfumeshit

Jay: Your socks are untied

Lloyd: Morro can just molest himself

Jay: Can you please not get a fucking locker smaller than my self esteem

Zane: You be smellin your own shit soon Jay: I already do Zane: Get it? Cause your mom gay. Everyone: ...what?

Lloyd: My name's Lloyd and I wear shoes sometimes

Nya: Unlike Skylor, they actually like balls

Kai: Fuck fuck fucking fuck fucking fucktown

Jay. I’m about to go commit space heater in bathtub

Kai: Vaccines make you gay

Lloyd: It’s not because I’m Asian, its because I eat rice so much

Zane: Hi. I’m Zane. ... my dick fell off

Kai, to Lloyd: Your dad is my fuckbuddy. ... wait. Shit.

Lloyd: You didn’t miss. You hit me right in the fucking nipple.

Kai: Eat my dick

Nya. Bite off your own dick

Cole: Your face looks like you're trying to make your dick fall off

Lloyd: So we were sitting watching TV eating macaroni with a fruit roll-up soaking my feet in a trashcan

Jay: I’m gonna go commit visit Pompeii in time machine

Jay: How can spiders fall from the ceiling and just skrrrrt away

Kai: Because none of us can speak proper sentences

Kai: Hold on. I'm sending a meme. I can't fight.

Jay: Engulf your own dick

Jay: Please don’t have a Boston tea party in my back yard

Kai: Still it felt like I committed a minor crime in Iran with all the water in my nose

Jay: Sensei Wu, please throw scissors... I kinda wanna die

Kai: I got royally fucked

Jay: Get your meaty luscious legs

Jay: The fuck you mean take my pants off? They're always on! Cause no one wants me to take them off!

Lloyd, picking up a napkin and seeing food fall out: IT’S BIRTHING 

Zane, threateningly: Give me your kidneys 

The Overlord: Where is your technology stored?

Zane: I can balance my body on my boner and spin like a beyblade

Kai: My balls are not a muscle

Cole: So apparently I'm not the only one with asymmetrical balls. Lloyd: Wait actually? Cole: Well yesterday Kai gave us a very descriptive description of his balls

Zane, sarcastically: Gosh darn don’t you hate it when you're not allowed to bring your 5 dollar footlong subway to training

Lloyd: So he poked me in the back with a pencil and my third grade self was like, "BLASPHEMY"

Kai: You.... dickmuncher

Jay: We're playing infinity Life. It's like Life but the cars are infinity stones.

Kai: I could have divine gay sex and it would still be nohomo.

Cole, during some super serious training: Bake me into a pie daddy

Kai: a compliment sandwich, like this: I like your shoes, YOU SUCK, your eyes are pretty

Zane, to Lloyd: Don't KILL her! Too much paperwork!

Jay: Stop moving your butt. It's uncomfortable when you clench it

Cole: The STICK.. will be UP YOU! Kai: My ASS is your spot!

Jay, teaching Kai to roller skate: First, we master walking  

Kai: I know I’m beautiful and perfect and amazing and huMBLE

Lloyd: I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Cole: I'm allergic to emotions!

Zane: Yeet is not a valid Scrabble word

Kai: I love myself 3000. And you should, too. Love yourself, that is. Unless you wanna love me as well, cause that’s cool too.

Zane: Is doing drugs illegal

Lloyd: Post-traumatic stress? More like spicy memories

Jay: Be quiet so I can see

Cole: Why is my wallaber grinding its ass on the floor?

Kai: Whatever, my ass cheeks are balanced ... just as all things should be

Garmadon: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE SOMEBODY THINK YOU WERE GONNA HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR!

Sensei Garmadon: First of all, nobody says they're fine when they're good

Lloyd, getting himself a donut: A chocolate frosted donut for a chocolate frosted child

Nya, about Harumi: I just loathed her at first sight. Like your dad!

Morro, about Lloyd: He reminds me of a cucumber.

Cole, after becoming human again: I’m like Jesus... I thirst

Lloyd, sipping apple juice out of a shot glass: I'm just... done, ya know

Jay: Zane was eating my popcorn and I was like "hey that's my popcorn!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes "surprise communism!"

Lloyd: I consumed a spatula

Jay: I almost burned down my house making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Zane, after Jay climbs on his back: Unmount me you heathen.

Kai: Yeah it's been such a dick-licking long time

Karlof: In Metalonia we do not have sister, we have brother with pussy

Zane: I want to delete my meatsack

Little Lloyd: At about 10 I was so hungry so I went to the med tent and pretended to be fainting so I got crackers

Garmadon: Before we leave I'm gonna sing a Disney song to attract all the females. Especially Misako

Jay, about to get sunburned: I know right, sunscreen is gross, you look like a glazed donut after you put it on

Cole: I like nuts but not that much. ... both kinds... I like my own nuts.

Zane: Hi I’m Zane and I’m the only one in this group with any form of common sense

Lloyd: Oh there's just someone throwing up over there! Kai: That’s hot

Cole, having a cashew thrown at him: I don’t want to swallow your nut ... I DON’T WANT YOUR NUT

Lloyd: My uncle is  going to sacrifice my body

Kai: Okay. You ALL can eat MY ass

Lloyd: A picture will last longer than your family will

Garmadon: That last rep was like a hydroflask and this one was like a kleankanteen

Kai: I bet for a second he was like "oh my God they care about me"

Kai: Because no one would be ballsy enough, no pun intended, to whip his dick out and piss on a crowded bus

Jay: Fuck a duck Lloyd: Please just dont ..ff... a duck Jay: But the duck likes it. It goes quackquackquackQUACKAFLACK.

Lloyd: Digiorno? More like I'm fucking hungry

Lloyd: My socks are so wet tis but a small price to pay for salvation

Kai: No means no muchacho

Dareth after failing at spinjitzu: Now I'm just dizzy and my ass hurts

Zane: I said, Cole, don’t orgasm in public, it’s rude, and Cole started moaning as loud as humanly possible

Lloyd: Say cheese! Kai: Whiskey!

Jay: Who the fucking dammit

Jay: Spongebob square-nuts

Jay: Actual- ACTUALLY it WOULDN’T make me more of a smartass because my SMART has yet to be caught up with my ASS

Lloyd: I hate it when my foot becomes the itch

Kai: STDs are like pokemon, you gotta catch em all

Kai: Here y’all are like "I like them 'cause of how they hold themselves and whatnot" and I’m just like “GIRL PRETTY"

Cole: I hate it whenever my foot becomes the gay.

Kai: I’m shit at being a person, not a shit person.

Zane: Buses turn me on

Jay: No pissing in our VSCO hangout!

Lloyd: Are y’all on high?

Kai: Its gotta warm up to start lavaing, now it’s just lamping.

Kai, crying: When I was crawling through the sewer my hair got stuck in my knee pit and ripped out a chunk

Lloyd, deepthroating a plastic recorder: I’m blonde so naturally, I'm good at this

Kai: I’m depressed. I’m stressed. But at least I’m well-dressed.

Lloyd: Nom nom milk carton

Cole, playing Life: Give me children

Jay, on a Thursday: If Friday was a Tuesday, it would be today

Kai: We're eating lotion and calling it spicy butter ... it’s spiritually spicy

Kai: I don’t fucking know! I'm not a cheese wheel!

Zane: Beepbeep bitch what's that? My lie detector smells a lie

Lloyd: I aced two tests today! The PSAT and the rice purity test!

Pixal: I don't really get the phrase "dry as bones" because your bones are in fact, wet

Cole: Kai, Kai, we can draw you as one of those anime girls. With humungous eyes. Actually no, it doesn't matter what the size of your eyes are. But your boobs are HUGE.

Lloyd: Jay wants to become the Alpha hoe

Cole: STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD AND SAYING IT FEELS GOOD

Jay: Deli sandwich equals cold hamburger

Lloyd: How was your day? Cole: Good. I have pie dough in my water bottle

Jay: If we do that we can reach our minimum requirement which is our goal

Kai: You can taste the freedom in that nacho cheese

Lloyd: I lust for the crust

Garmadon: You dirty-minded fools!

Anyone, to Skylor: You sucked the fire

Lloyd: OHMYGOD WE GET TO COLOR WITH CRAYONS!

Nya: Not to be lesbian or anything... but DAMN

Jay: No means no in Spanish

Kai: Bro saxophone is literally the sexiest instrument alive

Wu: The only wrong answers are the ones I don’t agree with

Kai: Look, why do you need to be a bottom to suck someone else's cock?

Cole: Jay, you suck Jay: More so than you do? Kai: Wait... wait you mean like you suck at the game or you’re better at sucking than he is?

Kai: WE CAN WANT YOU SEXUALLY TOO

Cole: That's not kinky, that's just abusive

Lloyd: CAN WE STOP USING THE TERM “BLONDE BITCH”

Cole: That’s not how you do it! Straddle me HO!

Kai: I didn’t mean to kick you in the coochie! Jay, I’m the distance: Be genital with her!

Cole: Yeah, also Jay tackled me and then grabbed me in between his legs and Kai jumped on top and Jay smacked his ass and I tried to record so Kai tried to smack my phone out of my hand and missed and his finger went right in my eye so I rolled over screaming and they got up and threw pebbles at me

Cole: It sounds naked! Music!

Kai, to anyone after they say Wu seems chill: He looks like a big soft squishy man but he is not

Zane: On average, in order to feel happy, you need to be touched, (pokes Jay) 8 times a day Kai raises two fingers on each hand: I’m about to make you ALL happy" *every person at the table in unison scoots away*

Zane: You looked like lord farquad but in a cute way!

Jay, after getting a pizza shoved at him. The pepperoni sanitized my facehole

Kai: I am the WITNESS! VICTIM! And I will play ... the e x e c u t i o n e r .