#the sole reason of my demise

[ahloveisboo]

babygundans everywhere screaming, sobbing, throwing up

[blueiight]

reuenthal if he hung around long enough on neueland teas

[0-hoony]

do i wanna know? [ft. j.sc]

@ sungchan : i FUCKING dare you to pull this blanket one. more. time. @ y/n : your wish is my command cutie 😋😝

pairing : significant annoyance!sungchan x f!reader genre : fluffy + crack cw/tw : there's only one bed :O + swearing + uneditted wc : 1K LETS GAUUURR

the newest addition on your list of things you despise about jung sungchan : how he felt no qualms at all when breaking the ONE rule you had established.

do not cross the boundary of pillows you had meticulously arranged on the queen bed that you had the misfortune of sharing with him i.e., stay away from you as much as possible.

another addition on your list was the way his arms were wrapped around your waist in a way that caused your chest to be pressed against his back in a far too intimate embrace for someone who rarely let go of any opportunities to pick (petty) fights with you. 

the fact that a small part of you, the same part which kept trying to make your breathing just a little quieter so as to not wake him up, wanted to simply go back to sleep just so you could stay enveloped in his comfort for a little longer is completely irrelevant. 

when you think back to the events of the previous few nights, you can’t help but feel slightly murderous intentions towards your so-called best friend, yujun. 

it’s all her fault, really, if you think about it. 

why did she have to go and find a boyfriend? especially when said boyfriend, shotaro, just so happened to be best friends with the literal bane of your entire existence.

why did they have to book a romantic getaway and then end up being busy when the date of the trip arrived? and why, you asked the heavens, why must they have given both you AND sungchan keys to the room??

the lack of communication between the couple was definitely going to be the reason for your untimely demise. 

so far, the one sole highlight of your trip had been the utter shock on sungchan’s face when you walked into the lobby of the fancy hotel, late evening. you’d greeted him with a tight smile, in an attempt to act civilly. 

that went downhill rather fast. but to be fair; you did have your reasons...

…they were threefold. 

first, when you mentioned that you wouldn’t feel too comfortable asking the reception for an extra room and asked him to do it for you, he went off on some kind of a rant saying he wasn’t obligated to do anything you told him. 

when you pointed out that with how defensive he was being, it was almost as if he wanted to share a room with you; he only rolled his eyes and pushed his tongue against his cheek in that ever so annoying way of his. 

you could’ve almost sworn he said something about being .. denser than a .. neutron star? okay astronomy nerd

second, over the days, sungchan had for some reason taken to being stuck to your person like glue. he followed you all over as you were exploring the facilities of the hotel and eventually even dropped in on what were supposed to have been quiet meals where you basked in the delight of your own company; all the while spitting out teasing quips and comments to you.

and there were those out of nowhere, not-so-fleeting touches of his too. playful (??) little shoves, moving your hair away from your face (in an obviously condescending way. right?) etc. you chose to not pay much attention to those.

until, that is, the kitchenette incident occurred. 

while trying to pour yourself a glass of water (because how would you be able to properly pay back each and every one of sungchan’s infuriating actions if you weren’t hydrated?), you can only assume you’d somehow been blocking the narrow walkway into the room. 

which had then led him to move you to the side with a hand on your waist, almost as if with practiced ease. 

no you did not take almost a whole day to process this.

but the third reason is the one you can safely assume to have been the most fatal for you.

the way he insisted on not letting you take the couch but also refusing to sleep on it himself. 

c’mon we’re both mature, smart people he’d said we can sleep in the same bed for a couple days, no? unless.. you think you won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself, hmm~?

you had thrown a pillow right at him; to wipe off that infuriating smirk off of his face. 

it didn’t work at all. -

the warmth of the sunlight streaming in through the windows coaxes you out of your reverie. all of your senses are suddenly hyper aware of how soft sungchan’s skin feels against yours and how the soft breaths he lets out against your neck have your hair standing on end.

you’re especially aware of how his grip around your waist tries to pull you in closer, as if you weren’t already millimeters away from basically becoming one with him. 

he shuffles around a bit more before you realize he’s waking up.

you immediately allow your eyes to close and attempt to relax all your tense muscles to look as if you were still asleep. maybe you just can’t bear to face how he would react.

“y/n….?”

he still hasn’t moved his arm.

“what are you- SHIT.”

there it is. he pulls away like you’re somehow physically hurting him. 

“oh thank god you’re still asleep. lord knows you wouldn’t have hesitated to actually fight me if you were awake right now.”

…. is he not aware that he’s quite literally 6’1 and with muscles for days?

“i just…” he sighs “i wish i could just hug you properly. preferably after i confessed and you accepted to let me be yours.”

what. 

“i suppose, in my heart, i technically already am. i just wish you could be mine too.

………..

….. y/n ….? i could've sworn your face didn’t look this red earlier? ……………

oh my god.”

he’s gentle with his movements as he moves your body so that if you were to open your eyes you’d be face to face with his. 

“you’re awake aren’t you?”

notes : ill be honest this was originally meant for chanhee.... but sungchan broke into my house (mind) and said i think tf nawt! + [m.list] song rec : do i wanna know - arctic monkeys

𐙚 . regulars : @x0llaz @nicholasluvbot @totheseok @mellowdyverse @fae-renjun ⋆

[choerypetal]

Pink Laptop / Sam Winchester

summary: Sam and you attempted to conceal your relationship out of fear of his brother. However, you both decided to subtly hint at it through small gestures, like borrowing his flannel shirt. Him reading the books you like. But what happens if during one of these covert acts, while on a scavenger hunt at your campus, Sam unveiled an unusual shade of pink laptop. That happens to be exactly yours.

ps; english ins't my first language so i apologize for any grammar mistake!

enjoy xo'

The boys were on a mission, an unexpected one unfolding right in the heart of your campus. Despite your adamant stance against urban legends the night before, fate seemed to have its own ironic twist. As they escorted you to college that morning, whispers of a tragic incident—a student's demise in the restroom—rippled through the air. You recognized the familiar expression on their faces all too well. "You're not suddenly interested in what is being brought up now, are you?" you quipped, stepping out of the Impala. Dressed impeccably, the boys offered no protest, simply acknowledging your annoyance at their presence on campus. Sam, in his typical teasing manner, assured, "Fear not, we're here to work, not to distract you," playfully tousling your hair before heading inside to meet the college director. 

Throughout the day, the Winchesters traversed the college grounds, their first stop being a discussion with your director, proposing an investigation at the scene of the crime. Meanwhile, you found yourself engrossed in midterm studies, only to realize that Sam had commandeered your laptop for further research. This left you with a choice: either borrow a library laptop or abandon studying altogether in favor of grabbing lunch. Just as you were contemplating your options, a familiar face intercepted you, halting your movement with a friendly grip on your arm. "Y/N!" she exclaimed, her smile wide. "It's been ages... well, two weeks," she teased, keenly aware of your recent absence. Sensing an opportunity for a chat, she suggested lunch at the college's balcony café, an offer you couldn't refuse. "Lead the way," you replied, grateful for the chance to catch up. 

The presence of the brothers didn't escape the notice of the students, particularly those of your age, who cast admiring glances toward the pair. Dean, ever the flirt, couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the waitress, much to Sam's annoyance as he diligently typed away on your laptop. "You know," Dean remarked teasingly, his attention still fixed on the waitress, "if Y/N has friends..." Sam's expression twisted into one of irritation, anticipating his brother's predictable banter. 

"So... your sole reason for this hunt was to flirt with the waitress?" Sam shot a brief glance back, acutely aware that using your laptop, with its bright pink cover, did nothing to enhance his flirting abilities. "If it weren't for that damn laptop cover..." Dean's comment only served to further irritate Sam, who chose to ignore it, opting instead to retort, "She offered it," though Dean's skeptical expression made it clear he found this explanation unsatisfactory.

As you and your friend strolled toward the college café, they made it quite clear they wanted to sit near the Winchesters. You were oblivious to their presence as you were engrossed in chatting with your friend. Faced away from where Dean and Sam were seated. Your friend, however, couldn't resist ogling Dean, who, to your surprise, refrained from returning the teasing glances. "Earth to Beth," you joked, waving your hand in front of her face. Following her gaze, you turned to find Dean and Sam behind you. What caught you off guard was how charming Sam looked holding your laptop, dressed sharply in a suit, while Dean awkwardly munched on his burger. No distraction, Y/N. "Oh my god," you interrupted Beth's thoughts as she realized you knew them. "Seriously?" you teased, feigning disgust and enjoying Beth's blush. "Wait– You know them? Why didn't you tell me you were acquainted with these two handsome gentlemen? Let's go join them!"

You were tempted to go along with the plan. Knowing that the boys were solely focused on their work meant that interactions would be slim, and you'd only be back in the Impala at the end of the day, as per Dean's suggestion for the hunt. However, Sam wasn't keen on the idea, as it meant he'd have to sneak out. Not only to avoid making your relationship too obvious but also because you agreed to let him borrow your laptop, much to Dean's suspicion when he noticed the pink hue. "Pink? Seriously?" he had remarked that morning when Sam used the excuse of needing a new lap top case, to protect it. 

Little did you realize, within the blink of an eye, Beth had linked her arm with yours, flashing a joyous yet subtly seductive smile. Just as you turned your attention towards the boys, you could almost lip-read Dean's warning: "They're coming, stay professional." Without hesitation, Beth took the lead, her demeanor becoming flirtatious, her gestures deliberate, and her movements suggestive, embodying the quintessential flirt. This made Dean even more intrigued, while Sam and you felt increasingly uneasy as you confessed how you knew them. Of course, Dean graciously extended an invitation to both of you, much to Sam's amusement, who observed you squirming uncomfortably beside him.

"Hey, isn't that Y/N's laptop?" Beth asked, prompting Dean to shoot Sam a disdainful glance. "You son of a bitch—" Dean began, already aware that the laptop belonged to you as he retrieved it from Sam's hands, noticing the familiar stickers adorning the back. Sam nervously swallowed, watching as you attempted to discreetly excuse yourself. "No, no, no, sweetheart," Dean interjected, his gaze hardly leaving you before shifting to Sam. "Explain." 

"Well, I guess that's my cue to leave," your friend Beth said nervously, rising to give you a kiss on the cheek. Dean couldn't resist sneaking his phone number in the palm of her hand, eliciting a blush from her cheeks. You reassured her that you'd call her back tomorrow. With that exchange, you could tell that Sam and you were in for a long discussion based on the look on Dean's face. 

The ride was quiet. The hunt was over, Sam and you had no choice but to comply with the silence. "Now," Dean's irritation was palpable. Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat, stealing glances at you to ensure you were alright. "Since when?" Dean's gaze remained fixed on the road, yet he managed to sneak a glance at you through the car's rear view mirror. "Since the beginning of the semester..." you murmured softly. "At first, it was just reading books, then..."

"To him using your stuff?" He almost took offense, but you sensed something amiss. There was a hint of amusement in Dean's disgust and envy, as if he couldn't believe how adorably silly these actions were, and how he hadn't noticed them before. Whether it was you borrowing one of Sam's flannels under the guise of it being a size too big or Sam unexpectedly diving into fantasy books, it was all too amusing. And now the pink laptop. "I can't believe I never saw it," he sighed, prompting both of you to burst into laughter before Dean could even try to silence you. "Shut up," he grumbled playfully.

"You still have Beth’s awaiting call," you teased, leaning on the two boys and pinching Dean's cheek. "Ha ha, very funny," he retorted sarcastically. You glanced at Sam, relieved by his brother's reaction, albeit a bit peculiar, and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "And don't even think about making out in the Impala," Dean added with a playful smirk.

You could feel Sam's lips curve into a sly smirk as he looked at you with doe eyes. "We never know," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

[robbie-wallis]

I need to vent about Watcher, endure it if you can

Relax, this isn't a parasocial thing, but it is a long ass post, which suits me as a long ass human.

I need an outlet to discuss the terrible business decision Watcher has made by announcing their plan to leave YouTube, and this long-forgotten Tumblr account reached from its grave to grab at my ankle.

If you didn't see their video, good for you. It's extremely cringe-worthy in its sentimentality and editing, with blurry shots, pensive pauses and obligatory sad piano.

But at least there's no f'ing Ukulele.

Although, I think we might get the Ukulele in a few months.

Even though anyone who reads this is probably familiar with what the "Ghoul Boys" have done, I feel as though I need to add a little history.

WATCHER HISTORY

You can skip this part if you've been obsessively following the shenanigans, this is for the noobs who were never a "shaniac" or a "boogara".

Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara used to work at Buzzfeed. They hosted the successful Buzzfeed Unsolved shows. In 2019 they followed in the footsteps of the Try Guys and Safia Nygaaard and left Buzzfeed to create their own YouTube channel named "Watcher".

They brought along Steven Lim, another Buzzfeed person who is most known for the "Worth It" series. This series followed Lim and his friend/s spending obscene amounts of money on obscenely overpriced and indulgent products.

Think of it as being similar to the $100 V's $10,000 Sidemen content, only without the self-awareness and British "bad lads" humor.

Notably, even the Sidemen seem to have cut back on those adventures, perhaps understanding how bad it looks when so many people are struggling to pay their essential bills.

Steven became the CEO of Watcher while Shane and Ryan continued to create and present for the new channel.

They were wildly successful by YouTube standards. At the time of their self-spanking on Friday they were close to achieving 3 million subscribers, in just 4 years, based on basically only 2 cornerstone shows. If Social Blade is still a reasonably trusted source in everything but estimating income, they were gaining thousands of new subscribers every week.

Their most successful shows were Ghost Files, Puppet History, Too Many Spirits and Mystery Files.

Ghost Files is the only one of these shows which requires heavy investment, travel, a large crew and impressive production costs. These videos are shot on-location and require a lot of work. The rest are basically Good Mythical Morning style, just the two hosts and their banter.

Aside from Ghost Files, their content could be created with 3 cameras, 2 lapel mics and a good editor.

They were massively successful, solely because of Ryan and Shane.

THE DEMISE

So, what did they do on Friday 19th April? They decided to announce the launch of their own subscription platform.

Not a Patreon for extra content, behind-the-scenes, audience interaction etc, (they already had a Patreon with 6,000 paying subscribers earning them at least $50k a month), but a bespoke streaming platform which looks like a clone of Netflix.

The cost is $5.99 a month, or $60 a year.

Comparable to Netflix.

And by that I mean the price is comparable to Netflix while the content is comparable to a 4 year old YouTube channel.

Don't get me wrong, their production quality is incredible. The quantity, however, is not.

From the end of May viewers will have to pay to be a subscriber on their own platform in order to watch their shows.

They'll still be posting their trailers on YouTube, and the first episodes of new shows, but to watch it all you'll have to pay up or miss out.

Edited to add: Variety originally reported the Watcher crew were planning to remove all their existing content from YouTube to monetize it on their own platform. It's since been confirmed they will not be removing their old content. Fans are undecided whether this was a back-track after the announcement or a misunderstanding by Variety. You be the judge.

Of course, they're entitled to do this. They are creating a product and you can either enjoy it or not. No one is entitled to see it, for free, whenever they like.

Why did they do this?

Half of the sombre video gushes about their "humble beginnings" as "struggling young guys in a big harsh world", which comes across as extremely self-indulgent and ego-stroking.

A quarter of it explains how insanely successful they've been on YouTube and how this is all thanks to the fans who stuck with them after Buzzfeed, how it's allowed them to hire 25 people, how it's given them the freedom to create what they enjoy making and what the viewers want to see, and - most importantly - how it's allowed them to increase production quality on Ghost Files.

The final quarter of the video explains that this isn't good enough, the quality isn't high enough, the finish not glossy enough, it's not "TV caliber" enough! They want more, they need more, you have to give them more, mostly (apparently) because their CEO Steven Lim wants to bring back his show where he flies around the world with his bestie sipping Champagne and eating gold-leaf-covered lobster.

In short, they want more money to make even bigger things, even though their audience never asked for that.

WHY IT WILL NOT WORK

Oh my goodness, this is going to be a ride so strap in.

I'm not a YouTube creator so there are a lot of things I do not know. Having said that, I know a little about business.

This ain't Buzzfeed, y'all

Watcher became successful because of Ryan and Shane. It was their friendship, their personalities, and the content we loved to watch featuring them at Buzzfeed, that brought us along for the ride.

The audience they poached from Buzzfeed is there for them and Ghost Files. It's not there for Steven Lim and "Worth It". His show worked under the Buzzfeed umbrella only because they had numerous sub-categories in that community to support it.

The Try Guys left and created their own channel from their Buzzfeed fans.

Safia Nygaard left and created her own channel from her Buzzfeed fans.

Shane and Ryan left and created Watcher from their Buzzfeed fans.

Steven Lim left and became the CEO of Watcher. He didn't take his audience with him.

The audience of Watcher is not the audience of "watch me fly around the word with my pal and spend $100K on hand-reared, Whiskey marinaded, diamond-encrusted Kobe steak".

And... IN THIS ECONOMY?

Steven chose to become a CEO instead of a presenter. He's missed the opportunity to take that Buzzfeed audience with him.

This is made clear by the Watcher channel itself. Their "man eats food" content rarely breaks 500K views while their Ghost Files breaks 2 million consistently.

If a million of their viewers followed them from Buzzfeed to Watcher, the other 2 million have joined them since, based almost entirely on their spoopy content.

Not only did they base their channel on this genre and format, they have distilled their audience further ever since the creation of their channel and no matter how hard they try to diversify into "man eats food" it's just not working.

This ain't Netflix, y'all

As mentioned, the $5.99 charge is comparable to Netflix and just about every other streaming platform. Only Watcher can't give you even 5% of what a competing platform can offer for that price.

Other platforms also tailor their content and their pricing based on geographical location and localized economics.

You're paying far less than $5.99 a month if you live in an economy where the median household income is $300 a month. YouTube has a global audience. Their subscribers don't all live in a stable economy where $5.99 is considered disposable income.

We don't know the numbers, but I would guess only 60% of their subscribers are based in the USA, Canada, and the UK.

Even for those who do live in a stable economy, their audience is predominantly young adults and students. Most young adults are currently facing the reality that they will possibly never own their own home, they're living day-to-day trying to budget.

They've instantly priced-out a large % of their audience.

I confidently predict that diehard fans who can't see anything wrong with this will sign up for $5.99 a month, binge watch for a couple of weeks, realize there's no new spoopy content and cancel.

They'll come back when a full season of Ghost Files has arrived, pay again, binge it and leave.

Steven Lim thinks they're gonna get $5.99 a month, every month, from thousands of subscribers. In reality they're going to get maybe $12 a year, from people signing up to binge watch what they want, then leaving.

This will then decline naturally as attention wanes during the months where there is no spoopy.

This ain't good marketing, y'all

They're going to be posting "trailers and season pilots" on YouTube.

Sure, I bet YouTube is gonna be totes okay with a channel doing nothing but trying to hijack traffic for an external site.

Posting nothing but trailers and season premiers will mean maybe one full video per month during busy seasons. That's not enough to remain relevant for the algorithm.

If 80% of those posts are also just trailers saying "leave YouTube and come here", the channel will be smacked down quicker than a crypto scam using an AI generated Elongated Muskrat.

Their channel was growing steadily, but that was with full content regularly posted. When the schedule drops off, and when most of it is considered spammy by YouTube, it's going to collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

A streaming platform needs a constant flow of new subscribers just to replace the gradual drop-off (maybe ask Rooster Teeth about that). When your global audience at YouTube is gone, where are those new subscribers coming from?

The platform is also an additional overhead. It's going to cost thousands a month to keep the servers going.

This ain't good financial management, y'all

I don't know if they've already spent hundreds of thousands of $s on Lim's "men eat food" gamble, but I suspect they have.

I know they have spent hundreds of thousands of $s on a new season of Ghost Files, flying to the UK to host live events while filming those episodes.

This means they've over-extended their finances just at the moment where they've cratered their opportunities to see a return on investment.

Just that, on its own, is enough to destroy a production company.

They do not need 25 employees any more than I need an editor and proof-reader for this long ass post.

They do not need a production studio in Hollywood any more than I needed an office to write this.

They do not need to spend tens of thousands of $s on glossy graphics that appear on screen for maybe 4 seconds in one episode any more than I needed to add screengrabs to this painfully long essay.

By leaving YouTube they've lost:

Adsense revenue (which might not be much on a per-video basis but adds up with a back catalogue over years of productions)

Sponsorship deals, which allegedly contributes almost 50% of their annual revenue.

Merch sales, which is about to crash if the only people they can promote merch to are already paying per month in their smaller ecosystem.

Patreon. Why would someone pay $5.99 twice, for the same or less content?

And they've abandoned all of this for maybe a few thousand people who will probably end up paying just $12 a year when a new spoopy season arrives for them to binge.

I'm no Will Hunting, but no matter how hard I try to make the numbers work they just don't, and I don't need Robin Williams to tell me it's not my fault.

This ain't nice, y'all

Some of you are feeling like Ned's wife right now, and some of you will have no idea what that's in reference to.

Most of you will hate that I made that reference more than you hated the SNL skit.

I get it.

Maybe the worst part about all of his, from a viewer's perspective, is the dismissive nature of their sign-off.

They didn't mention the Patreon members once, not one single time in the whole video. It's like they consider the Patreon "too YouTube". They're the deformed cousin locked in the attic. They're the relative who wasn't invited to the wedding because they can't afford a Tom Ford suit. They're the colleague who isn't invited to the staff night out because they only work in accounting and no one has anything in common with Janice anyway.

These are diehard fans who were actually paying them extra to support them and enjoy a little bonus behind the scenes, and the boys didn't even consider them worthy of an utterance.

They also finished with "If you don't follow us and pay up it's been real, peace out". I'm paraphrasing, but that's basically what it was.

They spent so much of the video saying how awesome and great it was that the fans and YouTube got them to this point, but they didn't thank their Patreon members, and they ended with a blunt suggestion that if you don't follow them and pay more then you're not a real fan anyway and they don't really need you.

"Thanks for getting us here, sucks to be you, bye now!"

You made them wealthy, you helped them hire 25 people, you helped them increase production value to "TV caliber" even though you didn't ask for that, but your job is done and now you're superfluous. Only the real fans are wanted.

In the words of the great George Carlin - "It's a big club, and you ain't in it".

They're okay losing the vast majority of the people who got them here if a few thousand of those are comfortable enough to be able to pay $60 a year for a YouTube channel.

Can it get worse? Sure!

We've had a weekend to enjoy the constant heat of this bonfire and it's predictably worsened with each hour of silence from the company and its employees.

The fact that they haven't back-tracked, despite almost unanimous agreement that this is badder than the baddest thing that could happen to their company, suggests they're okay with it.

Consensus seems to be that they knew it would be this bad, and they're cool. They predicted 90% of people would scream "Boo to you good sirs! Boo indeed!" and they could still survive on the 10% who don't see a problem here.

The lack of response reinforces the narrative that they're totally fine with discarding almost their entire audience if they can just squeeze the cash they need out of whoever is left.

This ain't fixable, y'all (maybe)

Note: I don't want this to be mean, but it's going to sound a little bitchy no matter how I try to say it.

If they'd brought out the Ukulele on Saturday, or even teased Ukulele's on their socials before putting out a video on Sunday, they probably could have survived this with much hand-wringing and a little groveling.

But now I think they've grilled this Kobe steak for far too long.

They've lost 100K subscribers, and counting. The venom among Patreon members is allegedly worse than the public comments section under the video, which is startling. Dozens of YouTubers are torching them harder than a $100 crème brûlée.

People are scraping their channel content in case it's nuked.

Shane "eat the rich" Madej's sentiments over the last few years look disingenuous, to say the least. To shamelessly steal someone else's comment: "Imagine being all 'eat the rich' right before throwing yourself on the plate". He's silent while his McMansion burns down, at his own hands. "Why not!?" indeed.

Steven "I drive a Tesla" Lim's socials now make him look like a tech-bro try-hard and his use of words like "early adopter" and "soft launch" in the video only compound the belief that this was all his brainchild. He is the CEO, and that comes with responsibility and the associated blame. You can't steer the ship into the Bermuda Triangle and then disappear without looking like the bad guy.

Okay, you can disappear, but that convoluted metaphor is a mystery for someone else to solve.

Ryan "TV caliber" Bergara now sounds like an elitist who thinks YouTube is "too pedestrian" for his big plans, not big enough to meet his artistic vision. You see, he's more James Cameron, while YouTube is more like your student film club. He's grown beyond this pesky platform with billions of daily hits offering exponential growth with almost zero financial risk.

Even if they released a video today admitting they messed up big time it's still going to be hard to get the taste of this Ghost Pepper Warhead out of the collective mouth of their viewers.

This hasn't just burned their shared brand, it's singed their individual reputations among an audience upon which their careers rely.

What they should have done, on Saturday, is release a video (Ukulele or no) confessing their error. They should have announced their new platform will instead just be a bigger and better Patreon, with early access to everything, behind-the-scenes content, extra features, audience interaction etc.

They should have reversed to make clear their YouTube channel will stay the priority, their main source of revenue, but that you could get more on their own platform if you want it.

And, maybe, over time, people will pay for that. If they grow their channel to 6 million subscribers in the next 4 years there will be a couple hundred thousand of them willing and able to pay $5.99 a month for 8 years of shows, 8 years of behind the scenes content, 8 years of community involvement and regular early access to new episodes.

Maybe then they could try out their "privileged guys eat expensive food in expensive places" show and see how it does? Maybe a majority of people won't be living on the cusp of poverty by then and it won't look as tone-deaf as a 13 year old YouTuber trying to cover Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah"? Maybe then they could hire another 50 people and make Bergara's "TV caliber" (I still don't know exactly what that means) game shows and reboots?

The clock has been ticking since they hit that "publish" button on their career ending video, but that clock is about to count down to zero and silence will permeate throughout their previously lively community.

That 1980s basement set needed someone crying in the corner, right?

The problem is, their own platform is not a terrible idea. Really, it's not the worst thing they could do. The badness came in the timing, the switch, the middle finger and the f you. They could have released this as an extra, their own Patreon alternative, waited, developed it over time into something sustainable and established.

They could still try to do that and hope this dark chapter is forgotten.

Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe Lim is a financial genius with more skill than the management of Rooster Teeth and their corporate parent company combined? Maybe this gamble will be wildly successful despite all streaming services down-sizing or just going bankrupt? Maybe they won't be back on YouTube in 3-6 months begging for views after having to lay off 20 of their employees?

I know this... if I were one of those 25 employees blind faith would not be enough to stop me from looking for another job.

I suppose this will, for now, remain... a mystery.

EDIT:

I'm not writing another essay about this, but I'm glad to see they've backtracked and made the right choice to use WatcherTV as any sane creator would - to host early access and exclusive content in addition to their YouTube channel.

Over time, while promoting it in every video, building up that trust and fan base, it can be a secure and long-term financial bonus helping them to expand their business incrementally as finances allow.

Why this wasn't the plan all along is anyone's guess. Gambling everything on this was never the sane decision.

I still think they need to scale back on costs. I still think the food content is not currently a viable source of income while being a serious drain on resources. I still think they need to stop hiring all their friends and they need to hire one person who doesn't have personal relationships with everyone there and can make the tough business decisions.

No one likes firing people, it's ten times worse when it's a friend. But this is a reality of business and just wishing it wasn't so isn't going to make it go away. It would be awesome if we could all run a business where we can hire all our friends and family, never have to rely on any outside funding, make whatever we want, make a great living in one of the most expensive cities in the world and continue to grow.

That's just not the reality.

Their apology was genuine, in my opinion. I just hope they can work out the right financial balance.

[profound-mystery]

Somewhat Shakespearian version of the Leitner rant

I was bored, I was studying Macbeth, have at it.

Jurgen Leitner? 

Knotty pated fool, hellish dog Jurgen Leitner, Damned fool, foul keeper of pages that dost grow grey and dark with collecting dust, the books though slower than he, aged rodent made of fruit unfathered, vassal wretch. Lascivious slave, twas said before: “the harder knife ill used doth lose his edge.” A motley dost thou makest of thyself, driven with humourless pity, foul thief Jurgen Leitner.

Shame not my flame when I do speak of Jurgen Leitner, to him, I have but disdain. What purpose does he serve to eagerly misuse cursed scrolls, would he have but meddled less in affairs which to him ought to be hidden, yet with his newfound vulgar scandal he but sets them free into the world! Is he standing still past his own death-knell? Hath he been unfathered? The man's bastard shame doth vex me, and shame, to which mine eyes have out of their spheres been fitted to which anger defines him to me. Never have I had the misfortune to upon his face set my eyes, and yet not are mine ears with his tongue’s tune delighted.

Were I to ascend past my knell, and see heaven's eyes in mine own with knowledge of his presence bestowed, I would, while God was smiling in my face, defile him at the door for the sole purpose of removing myself when heaven now ranks of worse essays.

Must I be exposed to the passion of his scanted knowledge, I shall have no choice but to spite the memory of him, and start anew, purely to run past when his name is mentioned to me.

I know not why, by him, my hairs doth unfix themselves, and stand ready at the thought. He merely keeps scrolls, I am raged with the trespass of his presence!

His errors, one on another's neck, must be explained, perhaps by the ghost of the past, for if he is without reason for his sins then I shall be enraged.

His errors must be born of pages, driven to blaspheme for if not his work then I.

paypal.com/JurgenLeitnerIbeshrew

Not even the focus is he, merely alluded to scrolls in his keeping and I was driven with madness.

He escapes me now, and if his corpse is not yet buried, I shall pray for his demise.

Crusty batch of nature…

I should merely blow air in his direction, and his frail body would implode at the very strength, and he would disintegrate before me to ashes until nothing beside remains save for a single scroll he kept on his person for dire emergencies, titled simply “Now, thou hast made a mistake” in ancient yiddish.

How now, I barely breathe through my wrath.

I hope on his deathbed I am privy to the time, so I shall be able to set upon my calendar a reminder.

Through every winter, I shall be granted a day to rejoice and contemplate respect for all but the man who kept such cursed scrolls.

[atzfilm]

— 『 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋; 𝐨𝐭8 』 [4] (M)

— 𝚠𝚘𝚗 • 𝚍𝚎𝚛 • 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕, adjective. having someone who serves as a pillar in your life, who offers a sturdy place to lean in times of trouble. somebody you find yourself thinking about constantly and are completely infatuated with.

❝humans were such strange creatures. wretched in their mere existence. none of the eight were ever truly interested in them until they found you. they just find it strange that despite their status and rank, you'd rather spend time with your lover. that isn't much of a problem, though. one they can fix with ease.❞

〘ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ, ᴍʏᴛʜ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ꜰᴀᴇʀɪᴇꜱ〙(m.list)

— pairing: ot8 x reader, mxm; mingi x reader (this chapter); 9.6k

— note: this is a yandere fic. sensitive topics such as manipulation, gaslighting, murder, and other topics involved with the genre. please heed the warnings and read this work of fiction while keeping this in mind. also note: these chapters are very much introductory of each character & their roles, so smut is further down the line ♡.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: murder references, manipulation, blood, dark magic, kidnapping, emotional turmoil, injuries, smut referenced

Chapter 4:

"Do you think she's fairing well?" Wooyoung steps over a pile of debris, slipping closer to him. "The others are taking care of her?"

"What is with you and this woman?" Yeosang glances at him. Wooyoung's fingers are outstretched, his hand slipping into his with ease. The latter says nothing to deter his touch, knowing it's something that calms him. "Do you desire her?"

"Yes," Wooyoung shrugs. "But that's not the only reason. She's simple but different. She can't fall for my tricks because I can't manipulate her mind. Everything she says to me is genuine. I can't help but want her to want me. Is that wrong?"

"She is a human, nothing she says is genuine. Have you forgotten what we are?" Yeosang pulls Wooyoung closer as he steps over a fallen trunk. It's not too old – it may be no more than a few days since its demise. He places his palm against the trunk, whispering a spell before turning back to him. "Unseelie aren't kind to humans. And she will find out that you were the one who killed her lover, Woo. I doubt she'll take that well."

"I'm not going to tell her that," Wooyoung waves him off. "Besides, the male was so boring. She'll be much more entertained by our spark."

Yeosang holds up a hand, stopping him from speaking. Leaves crunch in the distance, Yeosang whispering a spell unto his free hand and pulling Wooyoung closer. He holds his breath, watching as the faeries appear in the small meadow. The spell he has cast only lasts for a few minutes or so. He can only hope that neither of them linger. The Seelie stay close to each other, rapid words exchanged.

"The human is resistant to faeries? How can that be?"

Neither of them speak, but Yeosang can feel how Wooyoung's shoulder tenses at the words.

"Yeonjun told us. He tried to penetrate her mind but she did not blink. Not one human on this Earth could stop him from entering their mind. She is the sole being."

"Then did he take her?"

"Not yet, not until he catches them off guard. Tonight he set the example, though. I doubt the Unseelie will be able to fight back after that mess. Bodies are everywhere."

Wooyoung’s eyes widen. He presses his hand against his mouth, closing his eyes to control his anger. His body trembles beneath the low light. Hongjoong instructed them that it was a brief mission, no bloodshed. But would he have guessed that the Seelie would cause their own to be deceased? Yeosang's hand grabs the side of Wooyoung's face, forcing him to look. Yeosang merely shakes his head, mouthing words.

Do not lose yourself.

Wooyoung nods slowly, taking slow breaths. They've missed a bit of the conversation.

"He will get her? That is his goal?"

"His goal is to hurt Hongjoong. Nothing else matters besides that. The human is just another body is his way."

They disappear from sight. Just as they do, the Unseelie bodies shimmer, appearing back in focus of onlookers. Wooyoung falls to the grass, fingers digging into the dirt. "They plan to kill my sunlight. My solaris. They will rid of her and we aren't there to see what they've done. We have to go back. We have to –"

"We aren't done, Wooyoung," Yeosang shakes his head. "Just a few more days. Hold on for a few more days."

"They've killed faeries, Yeosang. What if they killed one of our spark? What if Yunho–"

"You know they haven’t. Don't let yourself fall down that hole. We already have enough unstable mates, I don't need another one to fall apart right in front of me. Don't delude yourself like this," Yeosang ignores his words, sighing. "You would have felt it, Wooyoung. We are bonded. We would have felt the tear."

Wooyoung takes a long breath, "You're right. I need to calm down."

There's a pause as he stares. For a moment, he thinks that they should go back. For his peace of mind. Instead, he moves forward, hand reaching back. Without a moment's pause Wooyoung’s fingers slip into his, letting Yeosang guide him through.

—

Seonghwa wipes the floor. The stench is always overpowering. Each time a Seelie dies they leave behind such a putrid smell. A bit funny, considering how pure they are meant to be. He reaches for the knife you dropped, pausing. The look you gave them. It was like it was not you at all. He has grown used to the annoyance you've shown them, the fear when their words turned sharp. But not that kind of fear, terror. The glazed look. As if you didn't know who you are, what you were doing. It eerily reminded him of how Yunho loses himself sometimes. Seonghwa picks up the weapon, whispering. It cleanses itself at his words, harshly throwing itself back into its spot. Hopefully for good.

Jongho helped you off the floor, nearly carrying you to the room because you were so out of it. Hongjoong stared as you stepped out of the room, an unreadable expression on his face. There was nothing to be done then. Nothing they could speak about when you couldn't even think clearly. But Seonghwa just didn't like the look on his mate's face. Didn't like the slight gleam in his eye. In that moment, looking back now, he wonders if asking Hongjoong what he was thinking would change anything that’s soon to come.

He stands, flicking his hand to let the cleaning supplies pick up the rest. He sits at his table, eyeing the book he was reading once before. Seonghwa considered that you weren't a human. But he pushed those thoughts away. Assumed that he was thinking too far ahead. But now, seeing how you killed a Seelie? A human, killing a Seelie without any help? There's no possible way you're just a human.

He just has to figure out what you are exactly.

"You've been locked in here for hours."

Seonghwa barely gives Mingi a glance as he enters with hands tucked in his pockets, knowing the Unseelie would only try to calm him down. Or get angry with him, it depends on the day. "Hiding from us won't make our minds calm."

"I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Having you all speaking over each other in confusion and anger will only taint my thoughts."

"You used to find comfort in the chaos. It looks like you avoid it now. And continuously buy those toys of yours."

"You didn't have a problem with my figurines before," Seonghwa frowns.

"And I still don't now. I just can’t help but wonder why we can't be that safe place for you instead of plastic."

Seonghwa looks up from his book, finally meeting the eyes of his mate. Dried blood coats his face and clothing, white splatters burned into the fabric. He can see how his body trembles, bottom lip pulled back between his teeth. His chest tightens at the sight. Mingi lets their combined emotions affect him often. No matter how much they all insisted that he let them deal with it on their own.

Seonghwa closes his book. "You're upset."

"I want us, all of us, to be okay. But it seems like danger follows us no matter which path we take."

He sighs. "If you want us to get rid of her we will."

"I don't want that, hyung."

"Then what? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to talk to us. Tell us how you're feeling. Stop hiding in the laboratory or library or the forest. At least try to let us in. Do you know how long it took me to calm Yunho down? I don't even think I have, he just stressed himself out to the point of exhaustion. I'm –" Mingi runs his bloodstained fingers through his hair. "I'm stuck. And I'm tired of pretending I'm okay with it all. I listen to Hongjoong's words even though I question them. I guard what you all want me to guard. I kill who you want me to kill. But I just can't stand around and accept it anymore. How long must I pretend to believe that everything is okay?"

Seonghwa watches Mingi's facade break, his rambling continuing on and on. He cannot believe he didn't notice how much it affected him. Sure, he was thoroughly involved with you, but that's no excuse to not see when one of his mates is falling into themselves. He covers his face with his hands, not bothering to wipe the blood off.

"Yunho is so lost, Seonghwa. I've seen him gone, but not like this. Not this much."

"I can talk to him," Seonghwa says softly. "You can be there too. And any of the others. Would you like that from me?"

“Yes,” Mingi murmurs. There seems to be something else in his voice. Mingi isn’t one to hide his feelings, so it comes as a shock that this is even a conversation at all. So Seonghwa continues to dig.

“And I’ll figure out how to persuade Hongjoong to take a more careful route. How about that?”

Relief seeps into Mingi’s face, nodding slowly. “I would like that.”

“Everything will be fine, Mingi. We just have to take it all one step at a time,” Seonghwa says softly. “If you’re ever bothered, I’m here. We all are.”

Mingi continues to nod, thinking. “And the human? What if we have to kill her?”

Seonghwa looks at him, unable to answer that question. Despite it being mere months since knowing of your existence, he can’t justify killing you now. Not when he is so involved with you, along with the others. Mingi seems to know the answer without Seonghwa saying anything at all. So he sits beside him, watching his mate continue to flip through the endless amount of research he has done.

After a couple of minutes, Seonghwa closes his research. Mingi watches him curiously, a box appearing on the table instead. A bit cheeky, Seonghwa places several smaller boxes of toys in front of him. Mingi picks up one, a photo of an assortment of plastic flowers branded to the side.

"I planned on gifting these to you all after I build them, but I think it'll be more fun to build together with you, don't you think?"

Mingi looks at him. He never really shares his hobby with anyone else in the spark, maybe San once in a while. Him opening up and allowing Mingi to intercept his time only makes his heart swell with glee. Mingi nods, sitting down at the table.

"It'll be fun," Seonghwa grins, slipping next to him.

—

The silence is draining.

You sit in the middle of the bed, knees tucked against your chest, head sitting on top. Mind utterly blank as you’re desperately trying to figure out why, how. What strength do you have to just murder a Seelie without help from one of the others?

You can remember the looks on their faces when they entered. Blood stinging your eyes, knife barely held between your fingers. The indiscernible face of the Seelie beneath the weapon. It didn’t look like one at all, not even a creature. Just a pile of parts. You try pushing those thoughts away, even if the image is burned in your mind each time you blink.

“Do you take us for fools?”

You barely give him any indication that you heard him at all.

“Now you pretend not to hear my words?”

“I’ve done nothing to you at all so I’m not sure why you’re even speaking to me,” you admit, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. His arms against his chest seem to cement themselves in place at your words. Him being furious with you is on the absolute bottom of your list. You haven’t even properly introduced yourself and he’s already pegged you for someone he can walk over. You’ve already been through it with Mingi. You’d rather not deal with it again.

“Your presence is threatening our position.”

“If you let me go none of this would have even happened. How is it my fault?” You frown.

San scoffs. “What a nuisance.”

“Look,” you finally turn your head, meeting the eyes of the angry Unseelie. “You can hate me all you want, but I didn’t choose to be here. Go and get pissed off with someone else for all I care, but not me. I’d rather be at home than dealing with all of you.”

“You would be home by now, but it is unsafe. I could care less, frankly. But the others do.”

“Better than dealing with a room full of strange people,” you murmur.

“It is crawling with faeries, human. If you even step near it, you will be killed. Leaving our premises might as well be a death sentence. But fine, go ahead. I doubt you won't last more than a minute outside of our borders," he turns around, giving you his back.

You don't dare test his harsh words. There's no way to prove that he's exaggerating or not, so you just settle it for yourself that it must be true. You can't help the thoughts that linger; Is Soobin okay? Would they attack him if he decided to show up at your house one day? Has he entered town at all? Have your parents tried to contact you? Why hasn't anyone noticed you're gone? There's no reason to ask San because he would just give half truths. Something you're very much used to.

You hold your fingers against your temple, humming softly. It's not enough that you're staying here. You'll only be ridiculed by one of them. Frankly, you miss Wooyoung being around. At least he was a comfort in between the angst. And what was his name… Jongho? Though your interaction was brief, he was kind to you. Calmed you down in the slightest bit. His words of comfort as he led you to this room helped.

"Do you know what you did to that thing? Why I'm standing here now? Do you even realize what it takes to take down a Seelie, human?"

"No, I don't. And my name is y/n, not human."

San stares at you. You weren't afraid of him since you've met him, but there is something in that look. Something that makes you tense. You truly doubt he would kill you at mere words. But he could kill you if he wanted to. That thought is enough for you to drop your attitude, at least for now.

"Taking down a Seelie requires strength unlike humans. Majik, unwavering strength. Mental fortitude. You have to know how to kill one, our flesh isn't as soft as a human's. We haven't been killed by one in centuries. So can you see why we're cautious of you?"

"I do," you sigh. "I do, but I don't even know how I did it? It's… there's nothing there. Nothing. When I try to think of it it's like it didn't even happen. I just remember entering the room, then Seonghwa came in and opened the door. And I had a knife in my hand. That's it."

"Why did you say what you said?" San asks.

"Say what?"

"You held the knife in your hand, you looked at Jongho. Then you said you didn't mean to. You looked terrified despite the situation. As if you didn't just kill one of the deadliest beings on this planet."

"I don't know."

"You have to know."

"San, I don't know."

Just as San steps forward your bedroom door opens. Expecting someone else, maybe Wooyoung, Mingi stands there. His eyes flick between yours and San, narrowing slightly. He nudges to the door as he looks at him. San's arms drop from his chest. He seems a bit hesitant. Mingi gestures toward the door again.

"I don't want you to be alone here with her," San murmurs.

"She won't hurt me."

It's as if you're not there at all. San continues to resist, until Mingi rests his hand on his arm. It's enough for San to nod slowly. He squeezes his arm, leaving the room. Mingi shuts the door behind him as he leaves, turning to you.

"Sleep."

"Sleep?" You repeat, and he nods.

"Sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. Yeosang and Wooyoung won't be back for days. But when they do come back, they'll have news. And we'll need to be prepared for that."

"I don't understand."

"Human," Mingi says sharply. "I get it, you're incompetent and unintelligent. But you do understand the language I'm speaking, no? You haven't the slightest idea what you have done? Did San not explain the danger to you? You killed Beomgyu, y/n."

Another name that continues to mean nothing to you. Mingi's frustration grows.

"He is a high Seelie. One of the most powerful faeries on this Earth. And you killed him. Now sleep. We must prepare you for what is to come."

He leaves.

—

You stare at your hands. A few cuts are slowly healing, scabs covering the wounds. None of them have mentioned the night. Not even San, as angry as he seems to be watching you roam around their home. Hongjoong hasn't been seen by you either. Very likely locked in that laboratory of his, experiments continuing. Mingi and perhaps Jongho, are the only two who've either greeted you or joined you in rooms. Yunho, despite how worried you are, hasn't showed up since that night. Mentioning it to Mingi wasn't the greatest idea – the painful look in his eyes made you switch the subject immediately – but you just want to know if he's okay. You saw that Seelie drag him away and there was little you could do. You ran, and he could have been killed. The least you can offer is an apology. Guilt ridden, you look up from your hands.

Mingi holds out the wooden sword to you for the nth time today. With great exhaustion, you take it from his hands. He scoffs. "You will be given a break if you knock it from my hands, human. It shouldn't be this difficult."

You hold back your frustration. "My leg is still messed up. You're taller and faster than me. How could I –"

"Use your size as an advantage. I've told you this endlessly."

"You haven't given me an opening!" Your voice rises, dropping when you see the quirk of his brow. "I just need an opening," you murmur.

"Fighting a Seelie who's trained since birth to kill won't allow for an opening. You have to defend and attack. Each time I raise my sword you freeze. You will die if none of us are around."

"I survived before."

"And you have yet to understand why or how it happened. You're at a loss just like the rest of us. Don't be foolish. Fight, because your life will depend on it."

You step back from him, planting your feet into the grass. Mingi holds no weapons in his hands. Just as you still forward Mingi flicks his fingers. Your body hits the ground again, and this time you don't bother trying to get up, groaning. "You're an ass, by the way. Didn't you all say those powers don't work on me? How can you just throw me to the ground?"

"Our influence does not work on your mind, y/n. But we can still move you. You just have to learn how to resist just like your mind has. Once you master that, we can move to true combat."

"I don't know why you can't mess with my mind!"

"Another reason why you have to stop using your pity as an excuse and help yourself. Stand and try again," he holds out his hand.

"She will be dead from exhaustion before she has even learned it," the snarky tone is one you wish you'd never hear again. Mingi stands up straighter, hands moving behind his back. He bows only slightly at the newcomer. "We have to move quickly. It is only a matter of time until one of them decides to penetrate our majik. Do you not agree?"

"I do," Mingi says simply. "But I thought you were with Yunho today."

"Jongho is tending to his care now. I've come to watch you train. By the looks of it, it only seems like torture."

You slowly lift yourself from the ground, dusting off your clothing. Mingi does not bother helping you up and neither does Hongjoong. Your legs shake as you stand, turning to Hongjoong. He rests against a fallen tree. Arms crossed, same mischievous twinkle in his eye. His gaze roams over your body, stopping when he sees the disgusted look on your face.

"What a weak, little thing. Too bad we can't just get rid of you." His fingers pull back his hair. The exhaustion riddled on his face does not move past you. All of them seem tired and drained from what's been happening. Yourself as well, body aching and limbs throbbing from your brief encounter with the Seelie you've killed. Killed.

You'd never in your life peg yourself as a murderer. And yet here you are. Gathered around many of them, yourself included. At this point you have no right to judge.

"I've already said what I needed to to you," you murmur, turning back to Mingi. "Again." You step forward and he lifts his hand again. This time you fall forward, his arm stopping you from hitting the ground head first. You push it away, straightening yourself. "Fuck this."

"You have to train–"

"I can barely walk straight and all we're going now is creating more and more bruises. What are we achieving? How have I gained anything in the past few hours?"

Mingi's brow twitches. "You haven't tried."

"I don't know if you remember but, I am a human. I can't just learn to be as strong as you by being battered over and over. I won't suddenly be able to fight against you."

Your frustration grows as you look at Mingi, a blank gaze watching you back. It's like he can't even hear what you're saying, no matter how you phrase it. Hongjoong clears his throat, distracting you.

"She's right, you know. I want you to train her. Not mangle her up to the point of her being unrecognizable." He glances at you. "y/n, do you not remember the night at all? Not a sliver of memory? It would make this all easier if you did."

"No, I don't," you say firmly. "If I did, I wouldn't let myself be thrown to the ground over and over again."

Hongjoong shrugs, "Then that settles it all, no? Mingi, change. We will be dining together shortly. Human, you do the same. Seonghwa will see you after this."

"What for –"

Hongjoong disappears from existence entirely, leaving Mingi and you alone. He steps around you, grabbing the wooden swords scattered about on the ground and placing it back in its holder. Just as he goes to leave, he turns back. "You don't seem to understand the situation we are under because of you. I've advocated for your death but everyone wants to keep you around because of your resistance to us. I hope sometime soon you find yourself useful, or I'll be the one to end your life."

There is no chance for you to twist his words, nothing that would make you believe anything other than what he's said to you. He speaks firmly and straight to the point. Very unlikely the rest of the Unseelie you've met. There's no room for interpretation. You nod, and he leaves you alone in the training field.

Ignoring the throbbing in your legs, you make your way back to the house. Despite how open it is, it’s only a facade - you’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to leave. And now, knowing how much danger you’re in, you doubt you even want to.

Jongho appears through a doorway, holding a book in his hand. His gaze meets yours, flicking over you. “Are you okay?” He glances down at your leg. “Not much time has passed since you were all mangled.”

You snort, “As good as I can be.”

He joins you promptly, the two of you walking down the hall. It’s funny - his presence feels more welcoming than the others. Softer eyes, smaller smile. Nervous maybe, but still. You’d describe it as comforting.

“What are you reading?” You ask. He looks down at the book.

“San gave this to me. It’s about faeries from human tales. It’s quite interesting. Tinkling bells is my favorite,” he adds, “Ever heard of her? Apparently she’s really famous.”

“Tinker bell?” You correct, and he sighs.

“Right, Tinker bell.”

“Yes I have,” you grin, and he nods. “Why’d he give that to you? He seems like he hates humans, doesn’t seem like the type to want to learn about us. From what I’ve seen,” you add. “He avoids me every chance he gets.”

“San is…” Jongho pauses for a moment. “He protects us fiercely, yes. He hates you now because he thinks you’re a threat. But once Seonghwa figures out why you’re the way you are, things will change. It’s silly, you're slowly falling into our hearts, so he will protect you as he protects us sooner rather than later. And he enjoys human entertainment a lot. I'm sure once he gets over himself you two would get along well.” His words are easily said.

Falling into their hearts?

“You care for me? Some of you do?” you stop walking. Jongho freezes, grip on his book tightening.

“I’ve said too much,” he says quickly. “They will be angry with me,” he sighs, looking down the hall. Seemingly making the decision on his own, he turns back to you. “Yes we do care for you, y/n. Why do you think we fiercely protect you? It is not only because we’re curious about your nature. We’ve known you for a while now. Even if all of us haven’t really officially met you. We are bonded. Our care lives within us all. Mostly Wooyoung’s fault,” he scowls. “He’s stuck on you.”

“That is the spark thing Yunho mentioned to me, right? It's like a pack.”

Jongho nods, “Yes. Once we’ve chosen to be in our spark, we are glued to each other. If one of us is hurt we all know, if one of us feels strongly about something, we all feel it. So that’s why it’s so easy for us to find your presence in our lives… normal? Ordinary? I’m not really great at human words.”

“No no,” you wave off his last sentence. “You speaking to me like this is enough. And you’re very eloquent, Jongho. No need to doubt.”

His lip quirks slightly. “I can see why they’ve grown fond of you. But yes, that’s why. Ah, but more importantly,” he digs into his pocket. A rock appears in his hand, similar to one Yunho gave you at the masquerade. “Yunho asked me to place a spell on this. To monitor your health, nothing more.” He says quickly. “I cannot lie.”

“...Thanks,” you take it, staring down at the surface. “Is Yunho okay?”

He bites his lip, “He’s recovering. But it’s best if you stay away until he’s fully himself. That’s what he asked us to do. I’m sorry I can’t say anything more.”

“You’ve said what you’ve needed to, Jongho. Thank you. I’ll see you at dinner?”

He bows slightly, walking past you and out of sight. You hold the rock tightly, making your way back to your room.

—

Seonghwa doesn't come to lead you to his lab for a few weeks and that you're grateful for. Rarely have you gotten the chance to be alone. Dinner that night was uncomfortable to say the least. Silence mostly. Three seats empty. Jongho gave you small smiles and it was enough to help you get through it. But still - the future of you dealing with them watching you with caution is not one you’re yearning for.

The door to your room swings open, almost cracking against the wall. Before you can even turn to see who it is, your breath is knocked out of you. You hit the floor, well almost, he holds you up with his hand before you land. Wooyoung almost squeezes the life out of you as he holds you close, body trembling.

“You’re okay,” He whispers into your shoulder. You grip his sleeve to pull him off, and he leans back, eyes flicking over your face. “You’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. You can let me go,” you tug on him again and this time he does, helping you off the floor. Your body throbs at how he threw himself at you, bruises from whatever happened with that Seelie that night throbbing. “I see that you’re back.”

He grins, “Of course! I’ll always come back for you. I had to see Hongjoong first to report,” he rolls his eyes. “He told me to stay away from you since we don’t know what you are, but how could I leave my solaris alone?” he tilts his head, taking a small step toward you. Without thinking, you move back.

He frowns, “Solaris?”

“I’d rather be left alone, Wooyoung.”

He scoffs, brows furrowed. “What do you mean? Ah, is it because of what happened a few weeks ago? You don't need to worry, I know you won’t hurt me.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” you murmur.

“What are you saying? Don’t you know that I won’t hurt you?” It’s different from when you first met him. The snide grin, the teasing gaze. All replaced with seriousness, perhaps a bit of worry.

Are you sure of that? You know what they are, what they may or may not have done. None of them have even told you how they feed, how they hunt for their next meal. You could tell whenever they eat in front of you. The reluctance to take bites, the side glances they gave one another. You can fairly easily presume that it’s through horrid means. You’ve seen enough blood splattered around to be sure of that, at least. But will they hurt you?

Will he hurt you?

The silence must have been filling up the room too long, Wooyoung’s face dropping as he waits for your response. Would saying no be lying? It seems like each time you do lie he immediately knows. So, despite the hopeful look in his gaze, you tell him the truth.

“I don’t know that,” you whisper.

His body physically deflates, hands clenching and unclenching at your words. “You’re not lying.” It’s a statement, not a question. He closes his eyes for a moment, a breath escaping him. “I won’t hurt you, solaris. I won’t. Just as I trust that you won’t hurt me.”

His words ring as true as he means them to be, but yet… you can’t bring yourself to believe them. No matter how much you know that Unseelie cannot lie. “Okay,” you say.

“Why are you treating my words as if I’m lying?”

“Unseelie are sly.”

His eyes narrow. “I’m not lying about never hurting you, y/n. That’s not something I’d skirt around. I. Won’t. Hurt. You.”

“You say that,” you start, glancing at the open doorway. It would be silly of you to believe that you’re truly alone. All of these men you’ve met so far eavesdrop on every conversation in their home. “You say that, but if Hongjoong or Seonghwa told you to hurt me you would do it. Even if you don’t want to.”

“They wouldn’t ask–“

“But you don’t know that for sure, do you? You believe it now, but tomorrow, they could change their mind about me. What if San didn’t like my presence around here anymore? What if Yunho told you my time was up? Would you defy their words and save me? Would you?”

He stares at his hands, saying nothing.

"What if I hurt one of you like I did to that Seelie? Would you just stand by?"

"Don't say idiotic things."

"Then stop lying to yourself, Wooyoung. You do not care for me like them and you never will. Stop trying to force yourself to like me because I'm different. I don't like you, okay? I don't. So stop prying, and stop making yourself believe that there is something here when there's not."

Wooyoung stands up, shaking his head, "How could you lie?"

"For fucks sake–"

Wooyoung steps closer to you, your body sinking further into the seat. He places his hands on either side of your shoulders, eyes darkening. "You lie so easily. Why? Why do you do it?" His fingers slowly tighten. It's not enough to bruise you or hurt you, but it feels uncomfortable. If seconds continue to pass, he could just as easily break a bone.

"Let me go."

"You think we are mad? You think I am mad for caring about you? Do you have any sense yourself?"

"Let go, Wooyoung. You'll bruise her if you continue."

You look over, Mingi leaning against the doorframe. His expression is still as always, though now it rests on Wooyoung's grip. He seems to push through his thoughts, hands gone from your body. You stand up and move farther away. Closer to the entrance of the balcony. Wooyoung stares down at his hands, body trembling.

"Sorry," his tone is tight, looking up. "I got carried away."

“Hongjoong told you to stay away.”

He glances away, “I know.”

“And yet here you stand.”

Wooyoung looks at him, “Mingi –”

“Go. Before you make this worse for yourself. I won’t ask again.”

Wooyoung’s shoulders fall. He turns to see your expression but you’ve already given him your back, leaving to stand on the porch. Whatever commotion is happening behind you you’d rather avoid. Your heart hurts too much. He isn’t lying, you care for him. And you hate that you do. They’re Unseelie, beings that took you from your home because of curiosity. How could you care for them? How could you miss Wooyoung? The cool breeze hits your cheek as you slide open the door, sitting on the small stool resting against the wall. The night is clearer now that he’s back. You hate even more how the solid rock of worry in your chest is subdued since you’ve seen him. He was so close to hurting you, barely seconds away.

So why the Hell do you want to tell him it’s okay?

“He lets his emotions get the best of him,” the deep voice of Mingi fills the silence. He leans against the doorway, staring out into the night. “That’s why Hongjoong told him to stay away for a while. Though I doubt it would help that much, his excitement to see you would have only grown.”

“He cares too much about someone he doesn’t know,” you say.

“That I agree with,” Mingi nods, humming. “But you should be saying the same to yourself.”

“I don’t.”

“Human, we are Unseelie. We’ve witnessed your kind lying for centuries. I can read that expression of yours with ease,” he glances down at you. “I’m not hovering around you to pass the time. Since Yunho cannot do it right now, I’m here to watch you. Just say my name and I’ll be here. Though it is my fault right now that I didn’t come when I heard about Wooyoung and Yeosang walking around.” He rubs his face, “What a headache.”

“Thanks,” you say, looking back at the landscape. The moon is hiding tonight. “He didn’t want to listen to me.”

“Because he’s delusional,” he snickers. “Not wrong entirely, but trying to force the answer from you is very… silly. You’re welcome.”

He says nothing else and neither do you. The fear of him being around has subdued, whether it be from him getting used to your presence or not, you’re grateful. Walking on your toes is exhausting enough as it is. From the first training session to now, the two of you have grown closer. Laughs exchanged, quieter moments. None uncomfortable. Enough so that you would consider him a friend, along with Jongho. Despite this, you can't help but let your thoughts wander. It's been so long since you've seen people you actually know. One in particular that you hate you cannot get out of your head. You already have things to deal with on your own.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” he starts, closing the door behind him. He rests on the chair adjacent to yours, sitting down slowly. Ah, so he plans on staying around for a while. “Letting that weight continue will only break you in the end.”

You shrug, “It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t look so uncomfortable right now. It’s fine, I’d rather not push,” MIngi says. “But I know from experience that keeping it to yourself is not good. I may not be as comforting as Yunho or Jongho, but I’m a good listener.”

Is he? His kindness doesn’t feel fake. Still, you’re wary of his motives. After a couple more minutes of saying nothing, you push past your fear.

"I don't want to hurt anymore," you stare at your hands, watching as they tremble beneath your gaze. "I'm so tired of hurting so much, I'm tired of caring so much. He left me. He promised he wouldn't and he did. He left me, Mingi. He…" Your fists curled into themselves. "And the more I think about it the more pathetic I sound. I've been through that moment over and over again, trying to figure out what I've done, what I didn't see. But I was faithful to him, I did everything for us. I wasn't selfish. I loved him with everything that I have. And he still left me alone. Just like everyone else does. And I can't even ask him why he did it because he just left. He's gone."

A slow breath drags from between your lips. "And here I am, talking to an Unseelie about it. You probably think I'm pathetic or –"

"You keep using that word," Mingi narrows his eyes, thinking. "Pathetic. Like it's pathetic to feel emotions strongly. You know that you're allowed to feel, right?" He leans over, covering your outstretched hands with his. He’s warm. "I can't calm down your heart or tell you it will be okay, because I am just an Unseelie. We don't give empty promises. But what I can say is that you're not pathetic. His absence hurts. And you're allowed to be hurt. But you are not pathetic, y/n. Do you understand?"

There is some hesitance. Slowly, he reaches out, hand hovering over your cheek. He places it, flattening it against your skin. You warily lean into his palm. "You are not pathetic, okay?"

Eyes closed, you nod. "... Okay."

"You don't believe your words," Mingi frowns.

"Saying it and believing it are two different things."

“I told you to not lie when I can tell,” he says sharply. There’s no malice in it, frustration perhaps. But not anger. He pulls his hand away from you, standing. “Get some sleep. We’ll start again tomorrow.”

He leaves you alone on the porch. You tuck your knees close, the breeze chilly against your skin. You don’t realize it yourself, but that brief moment with him turned things for you. For some very strange reason, your thoughts no longer rested on your ex. Instead, they lingered on them. On everything that's happened since you've arrived.

They lingered on Mingi.

—

Seonghwa still hasn’t taken you back into his lab. You sit in the living room on a loveseat, eyes glued to the rest of the Unseelie. Most are here except Yunho and Seonghwa, speaking to each other about various things. San and Yeosang entwined on the seat across from you. His arm wrapped around the waist of Yeosang, words soft and quick. Almost too intimate for you to look at longer than a couple of seconds. Jongho flipping through pages of another book he has, likely given to him by San. Mingi beside him, eating an apple as he stares at nothing.

And then there’s the last two.

The feeling is subtle, at first. Hongjoong and Wooyoung laugh together. Hands roaming along each other's arms, legs entangled as they show each other the potions they have created. Annoyed glances filled with fondness. It is something that you've lost since Soobin left. Affection, especially around others, was never something he quite enjoyed. Sure, holding hands or embracing for a moment. But never this – effortless care. Whether it be from embarrassment of townsfolk noticing the two of you, or uncomfort. But watching them as an outsider just makes the feeling rise, chest throbbing. Ah, now you understand the feeling.

Envy.

"Hold this," You jump. Mingi touches your own hand with his fingers, dragging yours open to place a gray stone on your palm. "It will help that heart of yours."

Your hand closes around it, brows furrowed. "Is there something wrong?"

"You tell me. I could hear it from across the room. Thumping away."

“Thanks.”

He merely nods.

“y/n,” Jongho calls from the other side of the room. Pauses in conversation stop for a moment as he walks over, book held out to you. You take it from his hands, glancing over the words. You quickly recognize it as the Giving Tree, a novel read to you when you were a child. Jongho looked furious as he stood above you, frown only deepening. “It can’t just be a stump at the end.”

“Isn't it devastating?” San says from his spot. “I knew it'd bother you.”

Jongho turns to look at San, a scowl crossing his lips. “I wanted an entertaining tale. You gave me a book about a selfish human child.”

San shrugs, “Maybe it would finally let you let me borrow some of your things –”

“Absolutely not,” Jongho sighs. “You see what he does? He's just a nuisance.”

“Well it's one of my favorite stories,” you say, flipping through the pages. “Unconditional love with a price; hoping that it's returned but it never really is.”

“A silly story,” Mingi murmurs, but he takes the book from your hand, humming as he walks away, Jongho following close behind him. You could hear his low voice grumbling something about his book being taken away. Your eyes look over to Yeosang and San. This time, San stares at you. There isn't exactly any anger in it now, but an emotion you can't pin. It's unlike anything you've ever seen from him.

“They always bicker,” Wooyoung says, glancing back. “Don't worry too much about it solaris, a little fight won't hurt them.”

Well you aren't exactly worried about it. You don't bother responding to him, sinking yourself deeper into the couch.

“y/n.”

His smooth voice speaks through the air. Avoiding his gaze would only cause his irritation to grow, so you look at him. He holds a knife in his hand, peeling off the skin of an apple. He looks at you as he does so, taking a small bite.

“You're allowed to go.”

Everyone in the room looks at Hongjoong. The expressions range from shocked to confused. Hongjoong ignores them entirely, taking another bite. “After Yeosang and Wooyoung completed their assignment, the threat was subdued. Of course, you could have left weeks ago. All of us just needed to be sure it was safe. We put a spell around your home. No Seelie would be able to enter. No faerie can visit you aside from us. I thought you'd like to know that you can leave at any time. We would need you from time to time, but now, there's no immediate threat. And even if there were, you'd be able to take care of it better now.”

Yeosang leans up from his spot, “Hyung–”

Hongjoong holds up his hand. “Any further discussion can be done privately. y/n, leave when you'd like. None of us will stop you. And if they try,” he looks at Wooyoung as he says his next words. “They will be dealt with.”

“This isn't a joke?” You ask, slowly standing from your spot. The thought of finally being in your own home, your own place – you didn't realize how much you've missed it until this very moment. Hongjoong nods, and you would hug him if he weren't Hongjoong. Instead, you leave the room promptly. They all watch you go, presumably to your room to grab your things.

Wooyoung shakes his head, “Hongjoong, our mission wasn't successful. We did nothing to deter the Seelies. They'll come for her when they see we're not around.”

“You think I don't know that?” Hongjoong frowns, chewing slowly. “Seonghwa hasn't made any progress and Yunho cannot do experiments right now. We have no use for her other than entertainment. And wouldn't you rather our home be free of humans? Or has she hooked herself so deeply into your body you can't live without?”

“I want her,” Wooyoung whispers. “Why would you send her away?”

“She doesn't love you,” Hongjoong snorts. “It'll be a pity if you continue to delude yourself.”

“A bit harsh, hyung,” Yeosang says, moving out of Sans embrace. “If you spoke to us prior he might have been able to prepare and take the news well. Instead–”

“You know my thoughts. She was never going to stay forever. You all know this.” He passes his half eaten apple to Wooyoung, stepping around him. “I must inform Seonghwa. Discuss amongst yourselves, but it is done. She will be gone.” He waves, tucking his hand in his pockets.

Yeosang wastes no time in moving close to his partner. He can see his body begin to crumble, irises trembling at the news. His arms wrap about his mates, whispering quiet words to him.

“She's leaving, Yeo,” Wooyoung grips his shirt.

“She's leaving me again.”

—

You shove your clothing into your bag, quickly trying to pack up enough. Hoping that Hongjoong doesn't change hid mind about this. All you've known for a few months now is this mansion, this home that is and never will be yours. Being free, cord snapped, feels so … exhilarating. Never have you felt so much enjoyment to go back to that silly little down and the old bookstore. Resting on your hard mattress – ecstacy.

The bitter feeling burns your throat. Leaving them behind after knowing them for a while. Your heart hurts, to say the least. Though you kept your eyes on Hongjoong’s face as he told you the news, it wasn't only to digest it. It was to keep yourself steady, keep your thoughts solid. If your gaze ever wavered, looked over at one of the others – you would have thought twice. And if you let these thoughts stay for a while longer, you would have stayed. And that realization is enough for you to run out of here without looking back. No goodbyes. No greetings. Nothing that would make your feelings pause.

No one is in the hallways as you walk through, bag tucked beneath your arm. You step outside, rain splattering against your cheeks. As if the forest is mourning your departure. You hold your jacket above your head as you walk down the path. The feelings are too much for you to try and decipher right now.

You were in a loving relationship that ended and Soobin disappeared, leaving just a note behind. Whatever feeling that's dwelling within you right now is not what you think. You're just heartbroken, and lonely. And they're here.

It's nothing more than that.

The rain spills over the sides of the jacket, splashing against your skin. You flinch as it enters your eyes, strands of your hair sticking to your face. Just a few more steps, a few more and you'll be out of here. You won't have to see them again. You'd be free of faeries. You'd finally let go of these strange feelings.

"Won't you let me take you home?" A shimmering cloud rises from the darkness. Wooyoung conjures up in front of you, arms crossed against his chest. You stop on the path, a sigh escaping your lips.

"The bus is fine."

"Waiting for it in the downpour? What if it's late?"

You maneuver around him, frowning, "Then I'll walk."

"You live ten kilometers from our home." His footsteps follow close behind you. "And it would be safer to be with us."

"I need to get in a workout, anyway."

“You can wait a while.”

“Wooyoung,” you step over a pile of rocks. “Hongjoong told me I can go. Stop trying to stop me from leaving. This is my choice.”

“I'm not trying to stop you, solaris. I know this is your decision. But I can't help but wonder. Is it because of that estranged boyfriend of yours?" He asks, appearing in front of you again. "Is that why you're hesitant to stay over longer? Worried you're committing adultery?"

"He left me," you say through your teeth. "He has no hold over me. And I wouldn't be committing adultery since we were never married."

"Then why are you afraid of your emotions?" He tilts his head, pouting. "You care and yet you run. Everyday you spend with us you pretend to not care for us. Is that just something humans do? Run from the emotions they feel?"

"I don't have time for this Wooyoung."

Wooyoung steps closer, your foot stumbling over the saturated grass. He catches you with ease, arm hooking around your torso, pulling you close to his chest. His face is barely a breath away from you. Just as you're about to tell him you're fine, his grip tightens.

"How long will we have to wait?" His tone is soft. "For your shame of loving Unseelies to fade away?"

"I don't –"

He hums, shaking his head, "Ah ah. Don't you remember? I can't lie." He leans forward, lips hovering just over yours. "I hope we can stop playing pretend one day, my pretty solaris. I hope you can see how easily we shine together. Because I am very much drowning in my affection for you and desperately clawing for a reprieve that only your confession can grant. It is a bit pathetic," He steadies you, face pulling away from yours. The warmth of your body consumes you from his touch. If he notices it he does not mention it. He bows.

"You better catch your bus or else I'll truly have to keep you to myself," his lip lifts, gesturing in front of you. He dissipates into the night, your hurried steps running out the forest and onto the bus. There are very few others on it as it drives off, your eyes flicking out the window. For a moment you think you see the shimmer of gold between the trees.

-

“I told her you would come for her. And now that she’s gone, we’re delayed on our experimentation.”

“I said I couldn’t do anything right now without Yunho,” Seonghwa explains simply, flipping through his pages. “I’ve told you this countlessly but you chose not to listen. And you decided to let her go, not I.”

“The humans were noticing her disappearance along with her old mate,” Hongjoong pauses. “It would have brought us great exhaustion if they continued questioning what happened. I had to let her go for now.”

“Then there’s that, are we done with this conversation?” Seonghwa glances up from his research, looking across to Hongjoong. He sits on the seat that you used to occupy whenever you entered the laboratory, fingers dragging along the armrest. Somehow the action annoyed him, brow furrowing. “Hongjoong?”

“We haven’t seen you join us for dinners.”

“I’ve been occupied.”

“Occupied enough to not show your face?” He tilts his head. “I’m sure she desired your presence as well, but you’ve hidden yourself in here. What could be the reason why?”

He’s prying. Seonghwa sees it, knows he’s itching for him to tell the truth. Having a back and forth with him is the last thing he wants right now, head throbbing at the thought. So he sighs, shaking his head. "My mind isn’t itself. I want her so desperately, it's making me unreasonable, makes me want to be by her side," Seonghwa grips the desk, thinking. "This is a new sensation for me."

"This is what happens when you've rejected every advance I've given you your whole life," Hongjoong sings, hanging on the edge of the seat. "And now all you want to do is feel her around your cock because you barely fuck anyone."

The familiar warmth coats his cheeks, looking away from Hongjoong. "How vulgar. No wonder the others don't speak to you about these things."

"Is it not true?" His brow raises. "I saw as you watched her hold the knife in her hand. Her soft, human fingers wrapped around it so tightly. The way she looked for help, her lips," Hongjoong sighs, falling back into the cushions. "If I were her partner, I'd never move close to faerie territory. Why risk someone so delectable? Because of a silly dream of yours? Quite stupid."

"You're too horny to think straight. And you're only enchanted with her because she does not fall for our usual ploys. And now even more since she isn't as human as we once thought."

“I am only interested in power, Seonghwa. And she is the epitome of that. And…” he scoffs, "Me? Horny?" In the typical Hongjoong fashion, he picks at only one portion of the conversation. "You're the one clenching the table in the middle of a woe is me moment. You can barely stand straight," Hongjoong's eyes flick to his slacks. "Better take care of that. And besides, she will enjoy us."

"Saying it does not make it true. Our hands are tainted. Hongjoong. Once she finds out that we have ruined her life with her partner, she will despise us. We are tainted. Do you not see it? All of your sweet nothings, soft words to her will not work. None of it will work. There not passes a day where she does not mention him."

"But she desires us, no?"

"She does," he admits. "But she yearns for him much more. I fear there will never come a day where she does not. It is like… it feels like she is one of us. Once we choose a mate, we will never move on from it."

"She's a human."

"As far as we know, yes. But Hongjoong–"

"That means there's a chance that we will change her mind," Hongjoong murmurs. "We can change her."

"Is it wise? Shouldn't we just… leave her?"

It's as if Hongjoong does not hear at all what Seonghwa is saying, brows scrunched in thought. He looks at his mate, swallowing. "We can change it Seonghwa. She will never move on from him unless he comes back and tells her he doesn’t want her,” Hongjoong murmurs, eyes flicking across the patterns in the rug. “And he was killed before we could force him to do it.”

“There’s no going back,” Seonghwa concures.

“I agree, there’s not. But we can do something so her mourning period ends quicker.”

“And that is?”

A strange look crosses his face. "I need Mingi."

His eyes widen slightly, “Hongjoong, we shouldn’t.” Just as Seonghwa raises his hand and begins to whisper, Hongjoong dissipates in an instant, leaving the eldest alone. Seonghwa lets go of the table, pacing back and forth. He can handle this. You're just a human, nothing more. He can handle this inane desire on his own. He can handle what Mingi is going to do. Even if his own thoughts seemingly cry out to run to you, to take you as his own. He can push past that. He grabs his research, flipping through.

Seonghwa stared at the book in his hands, his eyes wide with disbelief. He had read it over and over again, but he couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, in black and white, was the answer to the question that had been haunting him for months.

He had always known that you were different from other humans since the first moment he caught your eye. You had never been truly afraid of him, even when he had first revealed his true nature to you. You had never been seduced by his beauty or his power. You had always seen him for who he was, a faerie, and you had accepted him anyway.

But now he knew why you were different. You were immune because you were not a faerie nor human at all. He had never met another being like you before. He didn't know if there were others like you out there. He didn't know if you were the only one. He didn't even know that these creatures existed. He assumed it was just folklore.

He ripped out the page, pinning it to his board. The word stands out, bold and underlined.

[thefirstknife]

Hi! I was wondering if you could explain the lore surrounding Saint and how he says he looked up to us? That whole time fuckery always confused me + the Vex apparently made him a tomb? What was that about? I really just have no idea what happened in Season of Dawn

Yes!

So, we should start with Osiris being exiled from the City (some time around the Twilight Gap, unclear when exactly, but vaguely at that time). Osiris packed his stuff and left to go do his research in peace; he went to Mercury for the Infinite Forest.

This upset Saint a lot and he decided to go after him. He even left a letter for him which destroys me every time:

Ship's Final Log: Osiris. I hope whatever you find in this place is worth it. My recommendation to install you as Vanguard Commander was not a gesture to stroke your ego. It was an order to stay and help the City achieve all that it could. An order you refused to follow. News of my demise will no doubt reach you late. I can already see your response—the guilt that will follow, however fleeting. I thought you had changed after Six Fronts; that seeing your people on the brink of destruction and spared from death would be reward enough to stay. To fight. I'll fight in your stead one last time.

However, note the following at the end:

To my inspiration. Your final gift to me I now send back to you. It will be good to see you again.

This was very bizarre at the time because there was no context to this. While we knew some little bits and pieces of Saint's story before, it wasn't until Curse of Osiris that we got the proper introduction.

Fast forward, Saint entered the Forest after Osiris and got lost in there. He wandered a lot, fought the Vex, eventually got them so upset that the Vex put all of their resources into constructing a special Vex Mind that was capable of draining Saint's Light. When they succeeded, Saint died in the Forest. The Vex were so impressed that they came to respect him enough to make a tomb for him in the Forest:

Finding this tomb was a quest in Curse of Osiris: links to the full questline. When we got to the tomb, we took information from Saint's body and used it to forge his gun: Perfect Paradox. The lore on it is also very peculiar, addressing someone that Saint looked up to. Again, we could only speculate at the time because we didn't have the whole story, but it appeared there was some sort of weird shenanigans here that potentially involved us, the player. Important:

All I have left is this weapon. The Cryptarchs say you crafted it yourself, built it out of scraps and Light and sheer will, inside the Infinite Forge.

We did indeed do that. But how can Saint know that and why is he addressing us? We've never met him; he disappeared into the Forest long before we existed.

It would take 3 years for this to be resolved, in Season of Dawn. In Season of Dawn, Osiris revealed that following our discovery of Saint's tomb, he went to work on creating the Sundial. The sole purpose of the Sundial would be to essentially allow entry into Saint's personal timeline and past, to find him in the right moment, and save him from certain death. Osiris tried to do this himself and failed. For some reason, he could not find the right Saint in the right moment. He begrudgingly gave up and put the Sundial away.

When it was discovered by the Psions and used for their nefarious purposes, Osiris told us about this briefly and let us give it a shot to try and find Saint. He advised against it and deemed it "an impossible task." However, unknown to him (and us), we were the link needed to make this possible.

We went in there and we found the right Saint in the right moment. We found him desperately fighting against the Eliksni on Mercury in his personal past, during the Dark Age. We met up with him and helped him win. After that, we talked to him. Saint seemed super defeated and hopeless, but Ghost then told him about the future where people are safe and showed him a projection of the City from the future. We also gave him the Perfect Paradox. Our Ghost pulled our weapon that we made and gave it to Saint.

The Shotgun you crafted in the Infinite Forge is reacting to the Sundial! An onboard transponder is broadcasting coordinates: a path through the Sundial, crossing two time periods. The prophecy blueprint you used to create the Perfect Paradox must have included this broadcast.

This was the link between us and Saint that allowed us to use the Sundial to save him in a way Osiris could not. The gun is a bootstrap paradox: it exists "out of nowhere" basically. We give it to Saint in his past and we pick it up from his body in the future and then we take it back to the past and give it to him. Saint had information needed to craft it because we gave him the gun, but we only gave him the gun because he had it in the first place.

Saint takes the weapon and we leave him in his personal timeline, but to him, at the time, we're a hero who saved him and showed him a future where the City thrives and people are safe. He kept that hope with him and considered us someone who inspired him to do better and to fight. He could never explain who we were, because for everyone else we did not exist yet: Saint only met us because we showed up from the future to meet him.

We end up going back to the Sundial to find Saint again in the right time when he's found by the Vex Mind designed to drain his Light. Only this time he doesn't fight alone and we save him, essentially changing the course of time. Saint doesn't die; we save him and he's able to stay in the Forest until we can open it from the outside years later in the present day.

Saint never forgot about us and how we saved him and gave him the shotgun. He spent his life with us as an inspiration; someone who appeared out of nowhere and promised him that one day the City will be safe and people protected. It kept him going, even when nobody really understood what he was talking about. Osiris also mentions this when we finish the quest:

In his youth, he talked often about the Guardian who inspired him. I should have guessed it would be you.

Osiris I promise that it's okay that you couldn't guess that Saint was talking about a Guardian time travelling from the future.

I definitely recommend checking out both quests for this whole thing, they're really cool, especially the ones from Dawn because they're more expansive and also Saint is alive there. But the setup from Curse of Osiris is really neat because they heavily hinted at Saint coming back since then. Both the exotic ship and the shotgun itself have lore that clearly reference Saint having already met us, a plotline that we waited 3 years to resolve.

Hopefully that makes a bit more sense!

[louventcavaliersx]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐈𝐓.

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Prior to the Dance of the Dragon, the vow between Daemon and his paramour lingered without knowing if it will last.

Inspired by the Song of Achilles, Patrochilles. Credit to Madeline Miller for the quote.

fanfiction | House of the Dragon

When Rhaenyra had received the tidings of Lucerys' demise, she crumpled at her place, unable to rein in her sorrow. The passing of her offspring, now her cherished child that she held so close to her heart. All hastened to her side, tending to her as she sought solace in her chamber.

The remnants of the young boy and his dragon washed ashore on Dragonstone.

Dread seized you as you bathed in the balmy waters. You chewed at your lower lip, grappling with the impending storm that loomed over all. None shall emerge unscathed. The dragons shall clash and waltz until one prevails and the other succumbs.

The downfall of the dragons was imminent.

Lost in reverie, you failed to perceive the door creaking open, heralding the entrance of the man. Only when his hand alighted on your shoulder did you startle with a soft gasp.

"'It is me, my love." His rich voice banished the tumultuous thoughts. You lifted your gaze to meet his, discerning the unease mirrored in his eyes; he too foresaw the looming conflict.

A hush fell upon you both as you reclined against his embrace, swallowing the lump formed in your throat. You prayed that neither of you shall meet a grim fate. The throne could fall to the Greens, yet your sole concern was your beloved.

Daemon tenderly kissed your temple. "You are tense," he observed, caressing your shoulder blade. "Tell me your worries." A gentle plea. He had never been unkind to you. Never.

You spoke, "Daemon, war is on the coming. Lucerys shall be avenged one way or another, and I dread it shall claim us both." The chamber was filled with a hushed breeze, engulfing the palpable tension and fear that gripped you so tightly. The water now felt icy to the touch, unlike its previous warmth, unlike his touch.

The Prince remained silent, pressing another kiss on your temple. After a pause, he murmured, "In the end, we all meet our demise, my love. Such fears need not consume you. War was inevitable when that drunk cunt of a king seized Rhaenyra's throne in our absence." Yet his words failed to offer solace as intended.

Turning towards him, you twisted your body to face his. Tears once concealed now brimmed in your eyes as you clasped his hands. "I care not for the Greens or the throne. Death does not faze me. It is our parting that I dread. I cannot bear to be parted from you, plagued daily by fear for our safety." Your words were a soft whisper, tinged with regret at the tremor in your voice. How could you rein in your emotions when his life hung by a thread much like yours?

The Prince knelt closer, his eyes reflecting a love unmatched. "The gods are cruel. They shall never grant you lasting joy and triumph."

Drawing nearer, relishing his words, you leaned into his gaze.

"I'll tell you a secret" he raised your chin, locking eyes with you. "I shall be the first." Boldness shimmered in his gaze, deepening your affection for him. "Swear it."

"Why me?"

"You are the reason. Swear it."

Enveloped in fervent love and unwavering devotion to him, you uttered a vow that would alter your lives forever. "I swear it."

A grin played upon his lips.

"I feel like I could eat the world raw."

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

Lady Celestine: Navigator of the Constellations:

The Forgotten Hero of Yore

The Merlyn of the KBASW (AU) & the love of Arthur's life.

Just to be clear Merlyn & Celestine are the same person it's just her disguise when she goes out.

For: @kirbyoctournament

Character Overview/Personality: She's the combination of Merlin from Disney's Sword & the Stone, Queen Eclipsa from SVTFW, Willy Wonka from (Wonka 2023 ), and Merlin from (the 2008 TV series).

She's an optimist... many of her peers mistake it for being naivety but in reality she's well aware of the darkness in the world... she sees it every day with her powers. Since seeing so many terrible things in the future she treasures the present and is always grateful for the things she enjoys in the now. (Also there's another reason for this....)

And finds the joy in the darkest of times...

She likes to be overly prepared... And tend to keep (*hoard) things they might need... Often tends to hold things she doesn't really need. With Arthus side eying her "You really need to keep that."

"Don't look at me like that Wart... WE MAY NEED THIS HARPOON ONE DAY WHO KNOWS & YOU'LL THANK ME LATER !" *proceeds to carry bloody harpoon home... with Arthur facepalming himself*

They actually did end up using that harpoon 3 months later & Celestine rubbed it in Arthur's face for an entire week. This constant hoarding led her to the first iteration of the Dimensional Cape, which started as a dimensional bag to store all her stuff. (LMAO).

This brings me to Celestine's wisdom & sass: similar to Merlin (the series & Disney) is filled with cleverness & comebacks. When she's doing her diplomatic work and out and about she knows how to do it "gracefully."But when she transforms into Merlyn, she lets loose exactly how Merlin is when he becomes Dragoon. Has no filter and becomes a chaotic old man throwing shade left & right

She hates' cursing so as resulting in hilarious, nonsensical words to place them: Fiddle sticks, biscuits, sweet butter crumpets, etc ~

Her future sight has made her a very empathic person... knowing the suffering of others in her visions. Creating a very kind, caring individual who wants the best for everyone, for them to be happy.

Keep reading for extra content & lore: (Which include spoilers for KBASW so tread carefully!) Other than that please continue...

Lore related content: (If you just want a short read)

In Denial (Oldest lore)

What Kind of King's in My Blood (Background info)

Celestine is Merlyn: (Most Current lore)

And fair warning I low-key wrote a novel... but there's a special prize at the end if you read all of it. (Extended Lore)

Lady Celestine serves as a catalyst for the anime Kirby series...

Now Celestine can't predict the exact future... only show potential paths. But her powers can guide people to the outcome they want and the path that constantly changing.

Absolom made Celestine focus solely on her future vision and trained her personally... He tried to paint himself as this kind saintly father figure towards her... but in reality, wanted to monopolize her ability.

He tremendous amount of pressure on the poor girl...(Mother Gothel Style "Mother knows best) Believing the only thing that made her valuable was her future sight. And one more thing about Celestine... SHE HATED HER FUTURE VISION! She didn't just see the future... she experienced it! Feeling all the raw emotions of the scene.

However, Absolum would guilt-trip her: "Oh you don't want to let everyone down... you're the only one who can do this... you're so special... you can't disappoint everyone..:

Causing her to grit her teeth and bear with it... Absolum was like a father to her she couldn't say "No." Plus it's not like she could let them down... One day she had a terrible vision foreshadowing the demise of Shiver Star...

The people of Shiver Star were infected by Dark Matter's essence... Nightmare & his demons robbed them and stole all the planet's resources... while the people were possessed and had their life sources absorbed by Dark Matter.

Celestine immediately ran to the other Heroes of Yore & Absolum.... for this and assured the worried child they'd take care of this... "don't worry we'll use this information and take care of it."

And they didn't just take care of it... THEY MADE IT WORSE! Seeing an even more terrible vision appeared before her.

~

Celestine: Wait I thought you said you'd-

Absolum: Oh but my child we did you said that planet was a goner anyway... they were already possessed.... it would be so wasteful if all those resources would fall to Nightmare...

Sir Uther: We cleared out the planet before Nightmare did. And killed all of those who were going to be infected & spread it throughout the galaxy... we prevented the problem before it even happened...*gives a wicked smile*

Absolum: Yes we couldn't have done it without you *gives a wicked smile*

Celestine couldn't help but blame herself for the downfall of Shiver Star... A few hours later Celestine's warpstar cracked-

"No problem... I think," Absolum

To remedy the situation, Absolum tried to fame concern for her but in reality was keeping her in the temple to hide that she was "broken." She could still tell fortunes just at random, they just had to keep her near the temple and store them whenever they came to her.

Absolum was still reeling at how could this happen... he didn't want to expose his little mistake. (In truth he knew he was working too hard and put her to work earlier than most, because of her ability... CHILD LABOR AM I RIGHT?!.) It was still too valuable, they can't risk having her break some more...

Thus, Celestine became a caged bird.

Uther felt that she was a failure unbecoming of a Hero of Yore and not deserving of her title. She can no longer do the ability properly and with her body always hurting how was she going to fight on the battlefield!

Along with that thought she be too emotional anyway... always trying to steer them to the future... the least amount of damage... HE WANTED PROGRESS! Often opting for the method that would get him results not caring about the collateral damage!

Icarus shares in Uther's sentiments, with the added notion that she got away with lazying around doing nothing. Just got to sit there waiting for the next prediction to come around. He & Uther were doing all the heavy lifting and she was still being treasured by Absolum... (he wasn't jealous of the attention or anything...)

Thus resulting in Icarus having the brilliant idea of sticking Celestine with all the political fairs (the paperwork). Which seemed like a good idea at the time (a decision they would all come to regret).

Unbeknownst to them... they had given Celestine all the diplomatic power in the galactic court. Managing to win over the galactic council with her charm and grace. Uther had always used his power to intimidate his ideals.

However, Celestine had a softer approach and was seen as far more likable in the... (this was before the council was corrupt and this was due to Celestine's influence...) Often resulting in the members to come to her for their problems. Uther couldn't beat her in this arena... being reminded all too well this was a political battle as well.

For Icarus, you see there was a... certain deal he wanted to part take in... a deal with Halacandra. Where did the GSA partner up with and believe that he could easily impress with his inventions... with their queen?! ( Minerva Mim - Magolor's great aunt)

What happened... the king was supposed to be here whys he spent an entire month sucking up to him who was this queen...

The queen was not impressed & ended up showing technology far greater than his... for the first time, Icarus was forced to eat humble pie... "How could this have, surely this is some sort of mistake shouldn't the king be here-"

"Oh he's dead... and unlike him, I'm not to be won over by pretty words and flattery now you offend me... why would I ever want to do business with a lowlife with you!"

Madam made sure to inform the GSA they would not be doing business with them & Absolum desperately wanted to get that deal. Then Celestine volunteered to remedy the situation & suggested inviting her here.

Absolum agrees seeing there is nothing to lose, Uther believes this was just a desperate attempt to try to be useful while Icarus is excitedly waiting for her to fail.

Meeting arrives Celestine takes care of everything personally and at the end of the day. Queen Minerva is all smiles and arrives with a contract, "Alright I've changed my mind, and I'll do the deal as long as I'm working with her."

Minerva wasn't interested in Icarus' inventions but Celestine's alchemic formulas were revolutionary. And just had to have her on their team.

Absolum was shocked and relieved... (maybe this girl had more than one use after all...) and was constantly praising her. And because of her connections with Minerva... she'll need a bodyguard now when she leaves the GSA base but what the why it was worth it.

And Icarus oh how badly he wanted to be part of the mixing pot, but he had to go through Celestine. Who was more than happy to reject his proposal and experiments. (Icarus never forgave her for this.)

She was becoming too influential now ... This resulted in Icarus scheming with Uther... to get rid of her.

Thus beginning the creations of the Ancients & the Halcandrans, with Celestine & Minerva leading the helm. Alongside Dairus Drosselmeyer (Minerva's right-hand man & Daroach's great uncle)... they created many of the legendary treasures... that were now scattered about the galaxy.

(These were kept secret from the GSA... Minerva knew the truth of the situation... for you see during the meeting she had hidden away Kirby's prediction not of him just defeating Nightmare, but the reawakening of Void Termina & Doomsday... and showed it to the Queen and she understood... that's the other reason why she said yes to her)

Minerva helps Celestine create the Kabu's across the galaxy and presents them as "safe houses for star warriors" but in reality, they were all preset guides to Kirby's prophecy.

And helped her create Triple Star... Thus the creating the vigilante Merlyn.... Her work as Merlyn didn't go unnoticed and the people of the galaxy started to recognize the hypocrisy of the GSA. Which made the Ancients & the other's blood boil.

This resulted in having Uther send in his send three of his best soldiers: Sir Nonsurat, Dame Morgan, and last but not least (you guessed it WART... I mean Sir Arthur.)

Kirby's prophecy spoke of "a match" to start the spark that would flame of a new era of peace...

Arthur- Match/ Meta Knight - Spark/Kirby - Flame

At the time she didn't know who it was; the prophecy was incredibly vague with which one it was. But she wasn't going to pass her knowledge to any of them without being sure. (She didn't want another Shiver Star incident to happen... not again...)

But how would she determine which one it would be... they all seemed the most unlikely candidates as "the match." How could she weed out which one... A TRAIL, A TEST, A GAME!

So like in tales of old, Celestine did these little tests of character... and would secretly tag along during missions. Giving them all a chance to see which one it would participate in... Giving them little riddles of the monster Nightmare would do. But she always gave them a choice... (breadcrumbing) and "can't force anyone to change."

However, three of them all seem annoyed at this except for... Sir Arthur was the only one captivated and interested. It takes a while for Arthur to accept Merlyn's but only after the events of:

What Kind of King is in My Blood:

That makes him actively ask for Merlyn (Celestine to help him change) and pretty much becomes Celestine's partner in crime. And as to become a willing student... merely wishing not to become like his master (Sir Uther).

However, their little sparring match still happening, with the condition that he should win... Merlyn's not allowed to be called him Wart... (Needless to say she fought him twice as hard.)

(This post-Celestine is Merlyn:) It goes into more detail about their relationship here but... I added a few things.

Romantic feelings only start after that...

Basically, before they knew they were head-over-heals for each other their love could never be in reality. Not just because of their positions but something else...

After her warpstar broke... she received a terrible vision of her body eventually breaking and her disappearing into star dust. Foreseeing her early death...

She had initially accepted but after all the friends she made (and falling in love with Arthur) she did everything she could to stay longer for them... Celestine tried to keep herself together as long as she could, and managed to keep herself alive a little longer (than she was supposed to) but now she could feel it... she was running out of time.

How was she supposed to tell her everyone... Minerva would be devastated, who was going to help Darius (& Minerva) with his creations, who would protect her followers, and stop Uther & Icarus from making the galaxy into a wasteland...

And worst of all she'd leave Arthur all alone & heartbroken. Who's supposed to tease him now, make sure he doesn't do anything reckless, keep that ego in check, make sure he isn't a prat, to remind him to smile and enjoy life... to laugh... oh her poor little Wart...

No there must be another way...she couldn't tell any of her friends... she wasn't giving up yet... However, little did she know that was the least of her worries...

Celestine was always careful with hiding her connections with her alter-ego... and Arthur, but there was one person who did figure this out. Sir Nonsurat; after Arthur had saved "Merlyn" from his grasp he started to see a pattern.

Arthur had been an accomplice to Merlyn's along... "HOW DARE ARTHUR, I KNEW YOU NEVER DESERVED YOUR POSITION AND WITH THIS YOU WILL BE RUINED FOR SURE."

Thus, Celestine received numerous horrible visions (she got them all at once)... of Arthur being found guilty in a trial. And at the end of each, Arthur had refused to sell her out, remaining loyal to her, confessing his love for her, and dying. And then she saw her demise as well... her body finally breaking right after... poofing into stardust.

Being completely overwhelmed, she burst into tears. Desperately searching for a future where they could both live... (a future where she could be happy with him.) However, it was either that she & Arthur had escaped and her body would explode and Arthur would be captured (by the GSA) and executed right after for his desertion).

Celestine couldn't help but believe that she had destroyed Arthur's future all because she had gotten involved... (it was Shiver Star all over again.) Just like in the other futures... what could she possibly do...

Perhaps...she could solve one problem with another...

So, before the day Nonsurat was going to turn in his report of evidence... Celestine had stolen it away. And with the help of Darius, they manipulated the information to frame someone else...

Nonsurat was infuriated once he found his evidence to be stolen... But he didn't want to cause an uproar, so he demanded a completed search of every squadron. Under the pretext "there is a traitor among us, and they've stolen my documents..."

A complete search required every general to be accounted for. Nonsurat observed Arthur carefully only to find him especially giddy!?

Arthur: I do hope the search is finished soon... The sooner we finish here the sooner I can give Celestine this-

Kit Cosmo: Code red! Everyone needs to come to the Courtyard immediately! Were under attack!

Arthur: By who?!

Kit Cosmo: By... Lady Celestine...

~

(She had already known Icarus was trying to take her down... so using her Nonsurat's evidence, she had successfully framed herself... handing it in in the guise of one of Icarus' informants.)

With the information he had put together and received, Sir Icarus concocted a false trail that Celestine was leaking information and was secretly in cahoots... with Merlyn.

Since it was a trial that involved someone as high-ranking as her... she knew the trial would exclude a select few. And since she knew Nonsurat would warrant a search... she knew it would be the perfect thing to keep Arthur out of the trail.

Celestine: Well, if I am going to get locked away... I might as well make it worth the sentencing.

It was at this moment that Celestine unleashed her demonic owl (she had hidden away) and bit off his head Absolum; killing him instantly. (Madoka Magica style). Icarus tried to stop her but failed Celestine resulting in his wings being ripped off. And officially went on a rampage letting out all those years of unbridled rage & sorrow she had kept in.

Then she remembered quickly about Kirby's prediction... quickly she created her own army of Hydro Clones... to leave them all at bay.

She went into her lab and quarters and destroyed every piece of magical research and Alchemic formula. She wasn't going to let them benefit & use her research any longer and most importantly to keep Kirby's predictions... but one person who managed to get through the army... it was none other than Uther.

Uther: I always knew you were a little witch~

Celestine: That was a sham trial & you know it ... You forced my hand

Uther: You should; 've stayed in your place, someone weak as you, you are not worthy of your spot as a Hero of Yore-

Celestine: Well you are not worthy of your spot as leader! You never were and one day you'll fall you'll see *at that moment Celestine received another vision-*

At that moment Uther thought this was the perfect chance to lung at her but this backfired... he accidentally ended up seeing Celestine's vision too... And it visibly shook him to his core.

Being overwhelmed by the very visions that plague Celestine, (claiming before she was emotionally weak, was causing him to be paralyzed by fear...) It was a vision of his throne crumbling down& everything he built and it was being led by one astral... he couldn't make out the face... was... was it pink...

Celestine tried to pull away so he couldn't see the rest of the vision... and ended up striking his right eye to stop him... Uther was left frozen while Celestine could feel her body about to break and desperately made her escape... But as she stormed out...

Uther: Will make sure you're vision will not come to pass I will find that pink warrior if it's the last thing I do... And I'll- you'll die by my blade gah- *Still paralyzed because of the vision & couldn't get up

Celestine: Sorry Uther... but I'm afraid that honor won't go to you...*runs out to find Arthur* I've already selected my champion...

In the commotion, Arthur manages to find her, desperate he reaches, Celestine:

Arthur: We have to... you need to run-

Celestine: Graduation time Wart *sees a cast of other soldiers & on-looker watching* - Let's see what you're made of! Just treat it as one of our sparring matches and we'll be fine-

After all the losses in their sparing matches, Arthur finally manages to beat Celestine... "Well done, Arthur- you've finally done it, you've w-" * Visibly starts to break... and falls- and Arthur catches her

(Celestine pulls up a smokescreen so no one can see them... however, three people manage to sneak in)

Arthur: Celestine, what's happening to you-

Celestine: I've come to the end of my time- due to my condition my body was bound to break... I didn't mean to hide it... I really thought I could beat the odds... I'm sorry War- Oh I guess I can't call you Wart-

Arthur: NO! If that's the case you weren't in the best condition- *starts crying* I didn't really win-, you have to stay *sobs profusely* You have to stay and call me Wa-Wart!

Celestine: Figures *chuckles...* it takes you this long to finally admit you like the nickname ... Thank you Arthur you made my life short all the worthwhile... I hope you can forgive me

Arthur: There's nothing to forgive Cel- Celty, *cries* I love you, please there is always something... There's always, you told me that... You're the greatest mage in the galaxy... there's got to be...

Celestine: I surely hope that light of you doesn't get snuffed out *smiles warmly* it's going to be hard Wart but remember this...

Keep your eyes open and beware of the bad in the world... but also hold on to the good as well... you don't have to look, just know that it's there... it'll keep you from falling...

(the quote that Meta Knight said to Kirby originally came from Sir Arthur... that was told from Celestine...)

And even should you lose your way I know you'll find it again... you'll always be a worthy king to me. I love you too Arthur... and I always will.... (*they share one passionate kiss*)

It was a kiss Arthur had so longed for, but it was laced with so much sorrow and joy all at the same time...

Arthur: I don't wanna let you go-* Gets knocked out by Minerva...

She had informed Minerva before the trial (and of course was devastated but was willing to fulfill her last request). And who stood behind her were Darius & Kit the only three witnesses to what really happened. Kit realizes that Celestine is Merlyn... She then handed off and knocked out Arthur to Darius & Kit Cosmo.

And made sure they promised to paint Arthur as the hero who defeated her. And fled the scene and Minerva went to her best friend and hugged her one last time... and fled with the others.

When they had all left to safety... she lifted the smoke screen only to see a hoard of Ancients led by Uther try to arrest her. She flew into the air Celestine had her Gravity wicked moment... as her body finally was about to shatter into pieces.

Celestine: I curse you all, *putting one final spell cursing the Ancients* (basically she's the reason why they all disappeared)

As her body started to implode they mistook it to be a suicide bombing and she was planning to take them all down with her... thinking quick the Ancients Crystalized to prevent the explosion...

But in that moment she has one final vision of Arthur taking the seat as leader of the GSA. She smiles and says "I always you could do it Wart *starts cry* It's just too bad I'll never be able to see it in person".

Arthur woke up in the hospital wing hearing... Darius & Kit recount the story of the incident. With the way Kit & Darius spun it was Arthur who saved the day... (Arthur realized this was all part of Celestine's plan: to give him a title that would protect him even when she was gone...) Arthur * began to weep* with Kit trying to comfort him the best he could...

Making Arthur (to the Ancients) irreplaceable... being able to take down a Hero of Yore when they (Icarus & Uther) could not. Being extremely grateful (and needing a new holy figure), gave him the title of "Holy Knight," and said they owed him one favor...

(So basically he got credit for defeating the love of his life & took her place as the GSA's holy figure...)

So in summary:

Before being detained, she managed to rip off Icarus' wings, blind Uther in his right eye, and kill about 500 Ancients. She was trying to escape only to be stopped by Sir Arthur, who defeated her in battle. But tried to escape only to be cornered by the remaining soldiers... and seeing she had nowhere else to run...

Despite the efforts of the Ancients to paint her as wicked, people could not believe in the shame of a trial. Especially Minerva, when she heard this false slander on her best friend (she had enough of it)... she declared Halcandra's formal separation from the GSA. Cutting them from Halcandra's advanced technology caused an even bigger scandal. And had put her down to silence her as well... removing her...

(What happened to Darius... well that's a story for later)

Ruining their reputation even further... destroying the pristine image they had built up until now. And those who were at the trail were split in the middle... On one hand, it seemed like she had gone on a rampage because of her unfair judgment and merely reacted because she was pushed into the corner. On the other hand, she had always been hiding away her true nature & hatred for all of them, and once she had been found out... she unleashed all of it.

Were both true...

As a result, the Ancients tried to erase her from existence... from the galaxy, with only the remaining Ancients & the Heroes of Yore remembering her... Celestine had become forgotten.` Basically, she was described as (by the Ancients) the unspeakable third who tried to destroy them all & maliciously take them down with her. And she had to be erased...

However, this did not remedy the situation... Uther was still haunted by Celestine's vision he must hunt down the pink warrior... he will not have his reign end. Icarus was all too happy to take over the Halcandra projects... however, was always constantly reminded of being reduced to flightless astral and still hates her to this day.

While everyone had forgotten Celestine: they all remembered Merlyn. But even though, "Merlyn" had become a legend, many doubted the actual existence... of this supernatural being.

However, there was one person who managed to remember her... and that's where her story ends...

Or maybe not...

Her crystallization saved her preventing her from exploding... So she was still alive in there. They tried to hide her crystal in a cave and seal it off so no one would find her... Little did they know that the cave held one of the dark portals of Morpho accidentally ending up in the underworld...

And guess who ends up accidentally winds up there.

BTW they got married in the Underworld

I actually planned this out to be a tragedy, but I ended up making them have a happy ending... (that I can't reveal just yet how it happens in the story)

BUT BEST BELIEVE OUR GIRL GETS EVERYTHING SHE DESERVES AND SITS ON THE THRONE WITH HER KING WHERE SHE BELONGS!

And if you read this long thank you for reading! <3

[daemon-in-my-head]

There's like, as many interpretations as there are simps. But. Buuuut. I'd like to present the shit constantly rotting in my brain since I already talked about my gremlin yday and to kinda elbaorate on prev post bout it (so u get a sense of what's going on and how bad the rot rly is).

Personally, I enjoy my Gortash twisted. He does hold affection for Durge. Truly. But in a really, really, really fucked up way. Buddy wants to present the world to them, but with that he means thru the view of cage bars. He would and will unleash psychological warfare on Durge and cut their achilles tendon or chain them up as long as it means they can't run and they're his. Only his. Only his to look at, only his to touch, only his to own. Fuck Bhaal, Gortash is their god and creator. Yes they may be equals in mind but there are no two true rulers, only one. And even if you are equals it does not mean equity or justice. Nor does it mean any of them will play fair.

Do they spare someone without a proper reason? Oh well, the person will still go missing. Do they grow 'soft' or disagree with a particularly violent approach? No worries, he'll remind them of what they are. What they're good at, how they should behave. He's humanising a monster for the sole reason of binding them to him, eradicating any other bonds they may have had with others and perfectly isolating them. Never shying away from telling the monster how miserably it would be without him. Any sort of present has a double meaning, even if it's solely because he wants to see it in their hands. He claims the iron throne and never reshapes or renames it, declaring his intentions to Bhaal, that he'll take everything, including Durge, from him.

As for Durge, they're similar in their desire to obsess and possess, but they go about differently. They're self-sacrificial as fuck. If he'd ask them to, they'd clip their own wings. They need to protect him from all the pain and suffering so they bring about more than anyone else ever could. They'd sell their soul if they could claim and protect him. Adorn him in whatever they please and ensure not a single hair is out of place on their favorite treasure. They would enact a massacre for the simple mistake of looking at them or Gorty in a displeasing way but they too would lock and chain up Gortash if it would help them in achieving their goal.

They see them as the person he is, but treat him like the puppet they desire. While equals in mind, they know that he's but a mere mortal man and how insignificant he'd be unless they allow him to shine. And if he doesn't shine the way they like him to, they're sure to remind him of who they are. Gortash may decide the tune but they're the one who'll lead the dance, and he can either follow willingly or they'll just push and pull on his strings until he does.

They both look at each other as a person but don't treat themselves in such a way if there's just the slightest reason not to. They'd ruin the other for their own selfishly selfless wishes and both of them long to be the one to kill the other because in those twisted lil minds, it's the greatest honour and the highest form of possession. 'Love me or hate me, both are in my favour' kinda way of approaching things. Claiming the life of another solely for themselves, righting another life to forget the wrongs of their own. Honestly, they'd probably go as far as coming up and enacting a plan to seal both their souls in the same prison if they could, fucking over both Bane and Bhaal. Sure themselves too along the way but neither of them considers their own demise something horrible if it can only help them advance their deepest desires. They're insane. They're violent and downright abusive in their way of dealing with things, but their goals started off at something positive. Something nice. They want to present the world to one another, want to see the other one finally achieve the happiness they think they deserve, but they can and will not let anyone else, not even the person themselves, get in the way of providing this present.

Now don't get me wrong though, they are capable of softness. Geniun affection even. It's just that they're both so screwed up they expect an ulterior motive whenever they're faced with it, and as such they always attach one themselves too. Softness for the sake of being soft would be a weakness, so they have gain something from it at all times. And whoever gives in first will face the consequences of being so weak.

As I said, I like em toxic and hurting and I meant that LMFAO. Give me those absolutely insane yanderes that only exist in the deepest darkest corner of the bookshelf. Also yes, this is very much Ellie nd the Bastard. May I remind you of somebody stabbing himself or humiliating the other just to prove a fucking point. Or that one oneshot I wrote with them in mind where the other one goes absolutely bonkers after loss and accepts a deal with Bane? Yeah, it's always been there. Nobody here has been safe or sane lol.

Also the reason why Gortash used the nickname he did is cuz well, he himself already has that light motif (albeit dark sun isn't particularly a great lightsource) so 'Elli' is just another way to put his stamp on him in a roundabout almost cute looking manner. And then u dig deeper and you notice how very much not cute anything they do is. They're so fucked up. I love them.

[koenigami]

Knight!Kunigami x Queen!reader vol.1 synopsis : beautiful, stubborn, and powerful. she didn't need him, yet her heart craved him so desperately. strong, protective, and brave. he has never known fear, except when it came to her well-being. tags : royal au, fem!reader, fluff, slight angst, mentions of death, misogyny (not from kunigami) wc : 1.9k a/n : probably going to turn this into a series but updates will be very slow .. જ⁀➴ masterlist

“Sir Kunigami, as the captain of the knights, your duties are limited, as your title already implies, to the supervision of the knights. And those unmistakably have nothing to do with my own duties.”  

You could very well be talking to the cold, unmoving walls since this kind of conversation with your recently recruited captain of the royal knights was nothing new. Whether it concerned the safety precautions of the castle or of the entire kingdom, or the tactical decisions regarding your troops. When you said left, he said right. And under other circumstances, you would never allow someone to contradict you, especially not in the way that he did it.

The way that everyone else did. As if doubting your authority as the lone ruling head of this kingdom, and that solely because you did not have a king by your side. Ever since your husband’s demise after a short, gruesome illness, you were constantly faced with disapproval and criticism, most of it stamming from your own family. Distant relatives who claimed that the passing of your husband had an impact on the legitimacy of your title, who reminded you countless times to look for a suitable partner.

Your sole comfort and strongest pillar was your advisor, Noa. At a young age, he had already been assigned to the role of the captain of the knights, had served your father and the kingdom with nothing but utter devotion until a grave injury had left him no choice but to retire from his position. He was as well the reason why you tolerated Kunigami’s importunate behaviour since he had been the very first person who had come to Noa’s mind to replace him and step into his shoes. Now, there was no denying that Kunigami Rensuke fulfilled the tasks of his newly assigned role formidably. A strong man, a patriotic citizen, a skilled warrior, a trustworthy leader, and a loyal subject of the queen. So loyal that he could not seem to stop interfering in your affairs. 

During the visit of your uncle, the duke, earlier that day, a small disagreement between you two had swiftly escalated, leading to Kunigami drawing his sword and pointing it, yes, at the duke.

Your uncle had come with a, in his eyes, formidable message from a neighbouring kingdom whose king had apparently declared himself ready for possible negotiations about an arranged marriage from which supposedly your own nation would benefit a lot. Nonetheless, you had not let your uncle explain any further and interrupted his detailed explanations and excited rambling with a simple No.

“In a world ruled by men, I will gladly be the exception and demonstrate that my gender does not determine my competences. My father-” “Your father was a fool just like you, child!” your uncle had called out, the anger and frustration evident on his reddened face. He had always been of short temper, however something about your refusal today had unleashed a kind of anger inside him that you rarely got to see. So when he had taken a step towards your throne, the discussion had immediately been interrupted by the sound of a sword being unsheathed. 

“I want everyone to leave.” you had ordered as soon as the duke had left, gaze not drifting away from Kunigami for even an instant. He had clearly understood that your command was not addressed to him, and cautiously approached your throne. Once he had deemed himself close enough, he lowered his head and dropped on one knee, staring at the carpet beneath him. It was rich in ornament. Golden floral patterns adorned the red velvety carpeting, an incredible piece shipped in from a continent afar. Just like the dress of yours.

Though in your case, it was not the gilded designs and motifs that made the gown look so magnificent. Layers upon layers of skirts, of course only the finest materials, and long elegant sleeves that accentuated your arms in the most flattering way, bodice clinging to your skin and hugging your waist perfectly; Kunigami swore he had never been so envious of a piece of fabric. 

“Threatening my uncle-” you shook your head in disbelief, not daring to imagine how the situation would have ended if it weren’t for you. “Under different circumstances, he would have ordered decapitation upon you. This shall be your last warning. If you won’t cease to meddle and intervene in my affairs, despite there not being any necessity for it, you will be stripped of your title as the captain.” 

“Your highness, may I have a word, please?” 

“You may.” a defeated sigh left your painted lips, while you were ready to be wrapped around his finger as per usual when it came to Kunigami Rensuke. Yes, you tolerated his missteps for Noa’s sake, yet there was no use in denying that you were doing it for the underlying sympathy that you held for the knight in front of you.

“I understand your discontent, and I truly apologise if my manners were out of place.” he lifted his right clenched fist to his chest right over his heart. “But you must understand that I’m merely trying to fulfil my duties by looking out for you. It’s my responsibility to ensure your safety, as well as the peace inside of our homeland-” 

“By disregarding my commands and decisions?” Despite the irritation seething inside you, you spoke calmly, leisurely standing up, leaving the throne behind you as you walked step by step towards Kunigami, your long gown sliding along the carpet. “By threatening a family member of mine even though I had everything under control?” 

During your discussion with your uncle, Kunigami had been scrutinising the duke and assessed his every move as if even a single eye twitch of his could cause you harm. Once he had witnessed his outburst, he had not hesitated to draw his sword as a silent warning. And he would do it again if necessary.

“I see, you’ve trained your guard dogs well. Though, mark my words. They will not always be able to protect you.” your uncle’s words still lingered in your mind, like the plague infesting and not leaving anytime soon.

“Do you also believe that I need a male companion by my side? Is that why you keep meddling in my business? Because you don’t deem myself capable enough to rule our homeland by myself?” He would neither be the first nor the last one to doubt you. “Because I’m not strong enough to-”

“Because you’re a woman!” 

Ever since joining the knights as a youngster, Kunigami had witnessed you overcoming all possible miseries that could fall upon someone. From a marriage of convenience with barely any love, to the loss of your parents, and lastly even your husband’s demise. The strength and confidence that you carried within you were remarkable, yet not enough to come up against the kinds of people that you had to face in your world. It was not common for a woman to rule without a king. Women like you served merely as an asset, as another trophy for greedy and conceited men to show off their properties. So when Noa had informed Kunigami about his promotion, he had seen it as his obligation to shield you from any further hardships.

His impulsive words bounced off the high walls, echoing through the hall while his eyes finally met yours. Regret. That is what you could immediately discern in them as soon as he looked up at you, silence filling the room and engulfing the both of you in a veil of suffocating tension. 

“You’re implying that my femininity is a weakness, Sir Kunigami?” He swallowed at the sound of your sweet, calm voice, like a siren luring him into the deathly depths of the sea. “Your Highness, that’s not what I-”

“That me being a woman would put me at a disadvantage while facing a man- No, pardon. A male?” He had failed to realise that you were approaching him with each tentatively uttered word, as the space between you progressively got smaller, the intoxicating smell of your perfume wafting through his nose. “Now pray tell me, Sir Kunigami. If you would not take my status into consideration, would my womanhood make you superior to me?”

“O-Of course not, Your Highness. I was merely trying to say that men can be unpredictable beasts. Amidst their violent immorality and unscrupulousness, my priority is to protect you.” His steadfastness was one of the many things that you admired about him. Even while being at your mercy, he never hesitated to state his honest and principled opinion, whether you liked it or not. It was his compassion and sense for righteousness that made him stand out from other knights. From other men. 

“Is that so? Then what about you?” 

“I beg your pardon?” He swallowed, nervosity slowly setting in. 

“If men are, like you worded it … beasts, who’s protecting me from you, Sir Kunigami?” 

“I would rather die than allow myself to be any form of danger to you, Your Highness.” The heaviness of his phrase settled on your chest, making your breath stagger as you looked into his face. Not an ounce of doubt was visible on it, the fist on his heart clenched tighter as if he were about to rip it out of his chest just to show you the place from which his words stemmed from. 

Another moment of silence passed with neither of you saying anything. As if waiting for the others next move, as if hoping for a sign, as if praying that this internal burning was mutual. You were not sure when it was that Kunigami had gotten up because you only realised it once you felt the warmth of his hand brush along your cheek like a warm ray of sunshine, and tuck a loose strand of your perfect hair behind your ear. 

The large double doors creaked, and before anyone entered, Kunigami had already taken a few steps back and put some respectful distance between the both of you as if burned by the sole touch of your skin. A broad figure appeared, marching towards you and carrying himself with a confidence and gracefulness that you would usually only see from blue-blooded individuals. Kunigami felt his former superior’s icy gaze scrutinise him from head to toe before Noa lowered his head, greeting you politely. 

“Your Highness, I just saw the duke off. I believe-” Again Noa’s eyes travelled from you back to Kunigami before continuing. “We might need to discuss some matters. In private.” 

The gentle nod of yours was Kunigami’s cue to leave, though as he excused himself, you called out to him one last time, your demand stated with firmness. “I expect your presence at my chamber after dinner time.” 

“Yes, Your Highness.” Without wondering or questioning, Kunigami withdrew with a final bow, leaving you alone with Noa. Despite his calm and composed exterior, you could tell that your advisor was keen on hearing about your argument with your uncle, as well as your discussion with Kunigami. Nonetheless, Noa had to admit that your last request had particularly caught his curiosity, wondering what the reason behind it may be. 

Though as you watched the back of the current captain of the knights become smaller with each step that he took before disappearing behind closed doors, you desperately hoped that the reasons behind your palpitating heart weren’t what you thought they were. 

[utilitycaster]

Fighter Breakdown Tracker, episode 3x78

Welcome to what was originally an opportunity to talk about the myriad wizards (not Myriad wizards, a separate concept) of Campaign 2 that occasionally gets co-opted into other things when the thought arises. Anyway, obviously the main event was the Barbarian Breakdown and, relatedly, the Party Breakdown, due to their Communication Breakdown, giving Allura Vysoren specifically her 19th Nervous Breakdown, but I've already talked a lot about Ashton. How are the fighters doing?

As a reminder: characters are included on the basis of 1. are they a fighter, 2. are they remotely relevant to this campaign, and 3. do I have something funny to say about them. I cannot stress enough how important item 3 is in the decision process; do not make requests, my muse speaks to me and that is how the characters (and, to be honest, classes) are chosen.

Cassandra de Rolo: Yes! According to the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting (not reborn) she's multiclassed into fighter! Anyway that plan to go to the ziggurat went well, huh? totally normal and great. I like to think that due to her rogue levels she saw Fearne march down the ziggurat steps and just peaced out and has been chilling in Pike's little cabin ever since. 4/10: normal "is the world ending" concerns but otherwise she's having maybe the best day anyone on the Whitestone War Council can.

Jarett Howarth: he's specifically avoiding Bells Hells because motherfuckers keep teleporting from Marquet and not bringing any fusaka. This, plus normal "putting the Pale Guard on a war footing and also there's a really mad goat lady in the garden" bumps him up to a 6/10.

Orym: my serious thoughts about the space made for Chetney, FCG, and Imogen to step up aside I honestly think the semi-joking narrative of Orym going off in a huff and working out his feelings quite literally via the power of elaborate bodyweight calisthenics of the sort that grant you 20 Dex and 10 Str would be good for him. Allow yourself a little pettiness, Orym; it's good for the soul. 5/10 because I don't fucking know; we'll see next game.

Ariks Eshteross: I hope he's at peace and buried next to his love as requested; I still haven't gotten around to making those cookies actually and frankly I've had much more of an eye on the gunpowder tea shortbread. 0/10; I like to think he has found true rest.

Bertrand Bell: These motherfuckers have not visited the grave of their namesake at ALL. Traipsing around the Raven Queen's temple - literally everyone but Laudna and FCG has wandered over to that corner of the city - and NO ONE has taken a moment to pause and reflect. He died as he lived: everyone kind of setting him aside for more important matters except for followers of the Raven Queen. 8/10 because hopefully he was entertained by the raven show that got put on but also, come on man you couldn't stop by at all?

FRIDA: I have to imagine things in Vasselheim are wild and it's going to be missing FCG hours, but at least they're in great company! 5/10; they're a pretty even-keeled robot all things considered but the situation is pretty tense.

Otohan Thull: My sole regret about how great this episode is and the fact that we're dropping into the Fey Realm for a bit to have some much-needed time to regroup is that we are likely delaying their richly deserved demise. Anyway everyone's beloathed Palpatine knockoff is unfortunately super unflappable; another reason why they are boring as shit and why I very much want Bells Hells to make the bridge a little bit bloodier on the way up. 3/10.

Percival Friedrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III: Here's the thing. All things considered, his personal position is stressful, but not terrible. The ziggurat did not blow up; Gwen appears to either have not told him about her Delilah incident or did so in such a way that he didn't realize what was going on; he doesn't seem to have noticed the break-in into his parents' bedroom yet; Allura was reassuring re: Whitestone likely being safe (although...it's on a ley nexus so watch out!); and he got to deliver the line "ever since I met you, I knew you were destined for stupidity" which is actually how he specifically blows off steam. On the other hand, every single window in the castle has been destroyed, Allura had to leave, and I just checked and confirmed that Pike does not have the mending cantrip. Maybe one of the local clerics does? Maybe one of his kids does? Maybe Vilya or Ebenold does? Maybe Grog's in town and can be convinced that the role of the Grand Poobah etc etc is fixing windows? 6/10.

[ihatedtoadmit]

Violet-coloured lenses

pairing: Bang Chan x male!reader

genre: angst, fluff(?)

warnings: gore, mention of suicide

word count: ~3.5k

summary: Chan hides his feelings and he couldn't regret that decision any more.

a/n: This is a bit different, you'll see in what ways. Hopefully it doesn't confuse you guys.

A Guide to the AU, in case you are unfamiliar with it (it does spoil the surprise though).

↳ Main Masterlist

All rights reserved. Please do not steal, repost or feed my work into AI. Thank you!

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, not at all.

We were supposed to just meet up for a friendly lil café date, all to help him wind down after a long day at work. He’d said he was tired, but needed some advice on some projects and I just couldn’t say no. Our chats where we’d agreed on where to meet were colourful and energetic, full of our usual friendly banter and memes. I was made fun of, of course I was, unable to escape being called old even outside of my lively group. Yet, I didn’t mind it, enjoying the soft tingling nestling inside my chest way too much for me to put a stop to it. Besides, he just looked too happy as he teased me and my heart always ached at the mere thought of being the reason for the disappearance of his smile. 

Every little laughter of his caused my skin to tingle, the breath stilling inside my lungs and deciding to take residency in there forever. Each touch and brush of our skin only caused my feelings to bloom, as if that was even possible at that point. That was the effect he had on me, being the sole reason for the colours to appear in this bleak world, for music to sound wonderful and hold meaning.

But I didn’t mind any of those, truly I didn’t. Not his teasing, not how he called me his friend, none of them.

My only regret was staying silent, now forced to watch his once bright face be still and pale, only the constant beeping sound providing me some form of mocking solace.

Why couldn’t I just say those simple words out loud at last? 

It had all been planned out, our shared friends having helped me cook up a foolproof plan. But it wasn’t enough, me being the biggest fool of them all, ultimately forcing me to now sit beside his still form in an all too white room.

The moment I’d showed up to the birthday party, looking all sharp and neat -Changbin had made sure of that-, I just simply couldn’t do anything. The breath had stilled in my lungs as my palms had grown sweaty, and a small tremor had run through the entirety of my body as I no doubt looked like a man-turned-stone.

But how could I not?

The one I had grown so fond of over the course of a few months had looked absolutely breathtaking in those casual clothes of his, a soft smile decorating his rosy lips perfectly. There was a twinkle residing in those dark orbs, as if they were hiding something that resided deep inside, but I couldn’t make sense of it. I was much too enamoured as a quiet chuckle had left him, amused by whatever Jisung had said.

The urge to gulp became impossible to ignore much too soon, that itching feeling clawing at the back of my throat fiercely once more.

And as the day had gone by, my eyes glued to that one person only, that itching feeling had only grown into a suffocating urge to cough. It had been getting bad lately, petals only increasing in number. And I’d known if I had continued like this, that hidden affection would have been the cause for my own death.

Those thoughts caused me to let out a broken laugh as I sat beside his unmoving form, the situation much too ironic for me to not do so.

Because all of those words turned out to be true. My drowning love would lead me to my own demise, with me being much too stubborn to give it up even in such a dire situation. And worst of all, I was completely aware of that, much to everyone else’s demise.

Instead of confessing to the one my heart beat for, to the man these rooted feelings had blossomed for, I’d instead spent that night hunched over the toilet in my own residence, much too sick to stay at the party anymore, where he was at. Every single glance I’d stolen of him scorched me, just like how each spoken syllable directed at me caused my chest to constrict painfully, the roots squeezing the walls of my lungs together viciously.

I hadn’t been able to keep pretending to be his friend anymore that night, the action much too painful for me to bear any longer.

How I wish I had held out just a bit longer, until the words spilled out of my mouth in a flurry of violet petals as gentle as he was.

“Hey, Chan. How’re things going?” - Felix’s voice broke me out of my dark thoughts, granting me just a second to stop blaming myself for what had happened. “Stable, I guess. He’s breathing, but there are no signs of him waking up yet. Not a single one…” - the words that had left my mouth sounded utterly broken, a surprise Felix heard them at all.

He silently shuffled next to me after having placed a grocery bag on the nightstand, his hand squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. It was as if he was trying to glue my shattered pieces back together, no matter how bleak it all looked. That was the thing with Felix. He never gave up and stayed by our side, my side, even though I’ve been glued to this uncomfortable plastic chair for the past 8 days relentlessly, refusing to let sleep claim me in case anything were to happen.

Anything at all, just, please.

“It’ll be okay, mate, trust me on this one. He’s never been one to give things up easily, have some trust in him. He’ll come back to us, to you.” - he whispered back after a beat of silence, and something in those words just broke me inside. “...if what you say is true, he wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed, having overdosed on meds just to try and take his own life.” “I know, but–” “Lix, his life was apparently so miserable he’d turned to this desperate ‘solution’! We didn’t notice anything, nothing at all! He smiled the same, he laughed the same, he behaved the same. Like a perfect mask. And we, we weren’t able to notice it was there in the first place. We couldn’t help him… I couldn’t help him.” - with each sentence my lungs burned, the air between us cooling down as I silently wheezed there, hand nearly tearing my remaining hair out. “Hyung…” “Don’t hyung me, Lix. You know I’m right. Maybe if I’d confessed that day he wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t be here now, dying due to my own stupidity.”

The room became completely silent after that, only the constant beeping and my own raspy breaths filled the air. The hold on my shoulder turned tight, desperate, and I could only lower my head in shame. It wasn’t enough that I could have prevented this entire hospital visit, no, now I had to lash out at Felix who was only here to help. Because without his help, his constant and relentless support, I wouldn’t be here anymore. I was sure of it.

What a hyung I am…

That hold on my shoulder suddenly disappeared, only for my collar to be grabbed and tugged at, the chair loudly falling to the ground as I was harshly ripped out of it. Our eyes were on the same level now, his hold on my shirt so strong the fabric nearly tore in half.

There were tears in Felix’s eyes, even though he looked the angriest I had seen him in a good while.

“Listen here Chan hyung and listen well. I don’t care how you spend each day here, how I need to get you food for you to survive and literally shove it down your throat, but you stop blaming yourself for everything that happened right now! No, we don’t know if your confession would have helped, get that through your thick skull finally! It wasn’t your fault, okay? Because if we go by that logic, I’m also to blame, being his best friend and-...”

By the end the younger aussie’s voice had broken, his arms letting go of me as I just crumbled to the ground. I could only watch from below as crystal droplets had started cascading down his frail face, eyebags I had never noticed before only becoming more prominent. And that wasn’t the only thing that had finally registered in my selfish brain, far from it. The boy was merely a ghost of his former self, skin pale and clinging alarmingly close to his bones, as if he himself had refused to do the one thing he came to me every day for. His moves were different too, hesitant, as if he didn’t have enough energy to execute them properly.

How could I have been so blind before?

As Felix merely stood there, quiet sobs escaping his tiny form he had desperately tried to muffle behind his hands, something inside me snapped. Whatever it was, I had no clue, but there was now nothing more to hold me together, nor to stop the dams from breaking.

We both just sobbed there, unable to hold back those loud wails for seemingly eternity, emotions running much too high for any of us to stop.

Minutes must have passed before my breath stuttered, my entire throat feeling as if it was drenched in a sea of fire, its only purpose to drag me down into its dark depths and drown me there. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get any air into my lungs, the petals inside preventing it from happening. I could feel their soft surface clinging to the bloody walls of my organs, leaving no surface bare, like a roadblock on a busy driveway or a kaleidoscope of butterflies swarming to the sweetest of nectars. The world ceased to exist, only the suffocating urge to survive, to breathe, remained. I couldn’t feel anything, only the bitter taste of iron inside my mouth and the wet feeling as it dripped onto my hands amidst my desperate struggles to finally take a proper breath. It was impossible to tell what was happening anymore and soon my lungs gave up the near impossible fight, my body having lost its strength completely, unable to hold itself up anymore.

The last thing I remembered was the feeling of the small violets resting in my hands, bound together by that awfully deep shade of red.

READ FURTHER FOR HAPPY ENDING

-.-.-

I awoke to a deep pain that resided inside my skull, a groan escaping my dry lips as I was unable to hold it back. Even worse, harsh light assaulted my eyes the moment I’d opened them, causing a scowl to be etched deep into my face. I tried my best to block out the offensive brightness with my hands, but every move felt sluggish, as if I was underwater. It merely succeeded to confuse me, not a clue why I’d be in such a predicament.

Once I opened my eyes I only grew more alarmed, that familiar beeping now finally registering in my brain, its sped-up version heard crystal clear in my head at last.

Why was I in a hospital room?

Looking around didn’t help me at all, as the room was bare, save for a sleeping Minho by my side. His chin was tucked into his chest as he silently slept there, hands crossed and brows deeply furrowed. And as my eyes carefully roamed over his resting form, dread sat heavily into my stomach.

He looked just as bad as Felix did.

Minho might not have been as close to the one my heart blossomed for as Felix or Jisung was, but that didn’t mean this entire situation had no effect on him. Especially with how stubborn I’d been lately, the team’s supposed leader and the one they could turn to for advice.

I remember to this day how he’d stormed into the hospital room, distress clear on his face as he’d looked at me, Felix hot on his heels and out of breath. That was the day Minho’d learnt about my situation, the disease that ran inside my veins and slowly poisoned every inch of my lungs, my throat, in a morbidly beautiful way. The look he’d had in his eyes had nearly killed me, those glistening chocolate orbs wide with fear.

Fear of losing me, his only hyung.

It wasn’t rare for us to argue, especially me and Minho. There was a certain level of trust between us, the two oldest that made it easier to understand the other. But that day, he had raised his voice against me, demanding that I take the surgery and have those deadly flowers cut out.

And what have I done in return?

I argued back, as he’d never be able to understand my feelings. How would I ever be able to live without love in my life, without all those memories of the one I adored? I just couldn’t.

It had taken Felix for us to quiet down, my eyes unable to find Minho’s as his long hair had covered them. And so I had turned away, done with the conversation, when the quietest voice I had ever heard from him reached my ears. I had only believed that it had come from him because I had seen his lips moving, desperation clear in his entire body.

Minho had begged me to have the surgery.

Minho wasn’t a man who begged for anything. He was always strong, determined, ready with a plan to get what he wanted easily. But to see him in that state… I’d considered his request, even if only for a heartbeat or two. That, I couldn’t deny.

Despite all that, how intensely we had argued, he sat there in the corner of the room now, asleep as he no doubt stayed by my side for much too long. I couldn’t help but smile at that, warmth filling up my body.

Although that wasn’t the only thing that I’d felt, a vicious cough ripping itself out of my lungs as I heaved there, barely able to sit up and lean to the side to at least try and get into a more comfortable position. With each cough I could feel something tearing out of the tissue residing deep inside, petals and leaves freeing themselves first and being the messengers of its presence.

I had nearly given up when it had finally freed itself, a handful of violets now laying in my blood-covered hands, looking up at me with their splotches of colours.

“Good job Hyung, let me clean you up.”

I didn’t even notice Minho had been by my side this whole time, his warm hand leaving my back as he took the soiled flowers from my hands without hesitation, depositing them into a nearby bin. He was fast in cleaning his own hands before grabbing some wet wipes, motions gentle as he cleaned my hands silently.

When he turned my head up to clean the vermillion droplets residing on my chin, I could see how utterly defeated he looked. It was as if he had accepted the fate I had chosen, forced to witness my downfall as he could do nothing about it except watch from beside me.

It made my chest constrict painfully, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Just as I was about to reach out towards him, the door to my room bursted open violently, a distraught Felix standing there. He was panting hard, no word able to escape his exhausted form and we could only exchange a worried, yet confused glance with Minho at that.

What could have been so urgent?

Our silent question was answered soon enough, the words I was desperately hoping to hear finally hitting my ears and making me second-guess myself. Was I truly so far gone that I’d hallucinated it? Wouldn’t have been the first time after all, my wishes chasing me into brief nightmares even in my sleepless hours.

“He’s awake.” - Felix repeated himself, eyes solely on me and my frozen form.

It took me that second confirmation to realise I wasn’t hallucinating this time, my body springing into action. Minho wasn’t fast enough to catch me, my hands having already torn out the IV and other, different machines that were attached to my skin. I didn’t care about any of them, or how it stung to remain a few.

All that mattered was that he was awake, alive, and I could talk to him again.

Felix didn’t hesitate to scramble out of my way as I became a force to be reckoned with, unable to be stopped no matter what. Minho tried his best to try and do just that, or at least to slow me down, but I could care less about that at the moment.

It didn’t take long for me to find where he was, the door closed and waiting for me to open. Yet, as much power as I had so far, it all drained out of me at the thought of confronting him, of speaking the truth at last. It was as if my legs had rooted themselves into place, my entire body paralysed in fear.

All it took was Minho and Felix to gently push my back, silently beckoning me to finally take that step forward.

The door opened and there he sat in the bed, silently gazing out the window. He had lost some weight and his skin was now pale, yet he was still captivatingly beautiful in my tearful eyes.

My feet made a sound on the cold floor of the room as I made a few tentative steps. Our eyes met, those dark orbs I loved so much twinkling in delight and looking lively again, their glistening surface drawing me in. Tears carved their seemingly permanent way down my cheeks, my dimples coming out of their hiding places as I just stood there, taking it all in.

He moved before I could fully register it at all, his much taller, yet thinner form nearly knocking me down to the ground, were it not for the others. His hold on me was strong, desperate, as if he was trying to mould me into his own skin and I could only sob as he held me in his arms.

He was alive, his heart beating fast, his body warm and he was holding me tight, so, so tight I could feel my broken pieces being mended together.

As I just stood there, soaking in his warmth and sobbing into his chest, no doubt soaking his hospital gown, a quiet question hit my ears.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Channie?”

The sobs froze into my lungs, wet eyes now staring up at him as he drew me away so he could look at my face directly.

“Why didn’t you tell me you love me? That you were dying because of me?” - he asked once more, his voice so full of hurt I was ashamed of myself. “I-... I wanted to. But it was me who hurt myself, not you, never you! I’am dying due to my own stupidity.” - I replied, unable to meet his eyes.

His hands slid down from my shoulders, gently taking my own hands into their hold. It was as if he was handling something fragile, his touch featherlight and never too harsh. It made my skin tickle and flush, his care only causing my stomach to flip inside and turn on its own head.

“I never thought this would happen. That someone would have feelings towards me, of all people. So I’m sorry, so sorry that I never noticed. But… even if you won’t forgive me, can I hear it from you this time? That you love me?” - his question was equally gentle, his inability to see his own beauty cutting deep into my heart painfully.

I grasped his hands in return, determined to never let him go, even if only as friends. And with a deep breath, I answered his doubts.

“I love you. I love you so fiercely it nearly suffocates me, but I could care less. I’m in love with you, my dear butterfly.”

His eyes twinkled at my words, lips wobbling and glistening tears finally falling to the ground. I’d nearly feared he hated me so much my confession made him cry, but he spoke before I could, his hold on me tighter than ever.

“I love you too Chan. Please never doubt that, never again.”

I didn’t hesitate to hug him close immediately, the reality of his response not hitting me fully yet. Only after a minute did my brain register his words, a wide smile dancing on my lips as we sobbed in each other's holds, unwilling to let the other go.

I didn’t care how the others were now all there to witness us, hugging in tear-soaked hospital gowns. We were both happily in our own little world, inseparable from the other, soaking up each other’s presence and warmth we missed oh so much.

Taglist: @michelle4eve

[insideous-beez]

I'm obsessed with the Draconia tails. I want to hug them. To squeeze them. To use the tails as body pillows. Preferably with the tail's owner attached. To do this would inevitably mark my demise BUT I absolutely must, it is my sole dream, the very reason I breathe. I must fondly squish the tail, even if it is the last thing I ever do.

[opencommunion]

“'We chose to file this case on May 1, in solidarity with workers around the world, because ending forced prison labor in ADOC isn’t just about stopping the State’s extractive profiteering from the labor of Black people – both inside and outside of prisons. It’s also about eliminating the control that forced prison labor enables the State to exercise over Black people – an extension of the control exerted by the State through slavery, the Black Codes, convict leasing, and Jim Crow,' said CJ Sandley, Staff Attorney at the Center for Constitutional Rights, which represents the workers through its Southern Regional Office.

The six plaintiffs – Trayveka Stanley, Reginald Burrell, Dexter Avery, Charlie Gray, Melvin Pringle, and Ranquel Smith – have all been punished or threatened with punishment for resisting forced work. ... 'I am motivated by my passion to fight for an end to all injustice. That passion burns brighter than my fears. We must stand for something or we will fall for anything. This lawsuit is about the unpaid, overbearing state jobs that I, as well as my fellow inmates, are being forced to work against our will. According to Article I, Section 32, this is against the law,' says Plaintiff Trayveka Stanley, currently incarcerated at Montgomery Women’s Facility in Montgomery, Alabama.

According to Plaintiff Reginald Burrell, who is incarcerated at Decatur Work Release in Decatur, Alabama: 'The most influential public officials in the State of Alabama today remain loyal to and act in unity with their racist slave legacy from the Confederacy and the Jim Crow era, continuing to deliberately make, enforce, and defend bad policy decisions and practices, knowing it results in the demise, disadvantages, and disenfranchisement of poor whites and African-Americans, perpetuating hopelessness, despair, and excessive suffering in our lives today, and knowing it induces, in many circumstances, desperate choices under duress, to give themselves reason to enslave us through incarceration by the Alabama Department of Corrections for the sole purpose of continuing forced labor, slavery, and involuntary servitude in this state.'”