#jurgen leitner rant

[pastadrawstma]

This is not funny

Day 20 of posting magpod art daily

[cult-of-the-eye]

no because what is this????

[thesunnys1deup]

The Jurgen Leitner rant except it's Kayne from malevolent I love him with a burning hatred.

[avanillaskyline]

I've been going through tma recently at the request of my girlfriend. She has, on multiple occasions, showed me the Jurgen Leitner rant. I know I'm not very far into it yet (MAG 53), but I'm under the impression he's getting a bad rep.

Like, we're dealing with a setting where people literally get eaten by the sky and evil worms that burrow into people and kill them in minutes. We're dealing with a setting where Fuckhands McMike can banish literally anyone to the Backrooms (and stab Jon??? Because he feels like it?????) and yet we hate Jurgen because he liked literature. ok. I am SURE there's more awful people out there than a silly lil fucked up book collector

Dude just wants a cool library and I support this, even if he's a little messed up. If he got his hands on the Necronomicon I firstly, wouldn't be surprised and secondly, would support him.

But I'm not buying it. Someone in the setting's gotta be worse

Like... Tim? No, Tim's an absolute himbo fuckboy, we can't hate him. Who else? Sasha's been kinda funky and off-putting since Mag 40 but hasn't been evil, Martin's our bestest cinnamon roll boy, and Jon's just a dedicated lil guy who gets beat up because the world hates him for no reason. We just met that new girl, Basira? She's got good vibes and I'd probably kill for Gertrude

Who else is left?? OH, ELIAS. He owns the archives and told off Jon to "not stalk his coworkers" (ok fun police), which is offensive to both me and Jon, so he automatically goes in the "bitch-ass mf" category and I do not like him

Jon's suspicious of him and SO AM I

(I'll reblog this when I get further in with more details, no spoilers please)

[depresso-mart1ni]

Cant wait for the STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING GWENDOLYN BOUCHARD GOD DAMN FOOL BLACKMAILING JOB STEALING NEPOBABY BASTARD copypasta to drop next season

[danamegido]

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JAYCE TALIS GOD DAMN FOOL HEXTECH COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT, WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JAYCE TALLIS

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JAYCE TALIS I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE DO SO MANY FUCKED UP THINGS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jayce talis waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with jayce talis speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

he better have some fucked upstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of fucked up technology and wanted the irl version ill go ham

[profound-mystery]

Somewhat Shakespearian version of the Leitner rant

I was bored, I was studying Macbeth, have at it.

Jurgen Leitner? 

Knotty pated fool, hellish dog Jurgen Leitner, Damned fool, foul keeper of pages that dost grow grey and dark with collecting dust, the books though slower than he, aged rodent made of fruit unfathered, vassal wretch. Lascivious slave, twas said before: “the harder knife ill used doth lose his edge.” A motley dost thou makest of thyself, driven with humourless pity, foul thief Jurgen Leitner.

Shame not my flame when I do speak of Jurgen Leitner, to him, I have but disdain. What purpose does he serve to eagerly misuse cursed scrolls, would he have but meddled less in affairs which to him ought to be hidden, yet with his newfound vulgar scandal he but sets them free into the world! Is he standing still past his own death-knell? Hath he been unfathered? The man's bastard shame doth vex me, and shame, to which mine eyes have out of their spheres been fitted to which anger defines him to me. Never have I had the misfortune to upon his face set my eyes, and yet not are mine ears with his tongue’s tune delighted.

Were I to ascend past my knell, and see heaven's eyes in mine own with knowledge of his presence bestowed, I would, while God was smiling in my face, defile him at the door for the sole purpose of removing myself when heaven now ranks of worse essays.

Must I be exposed to the passion of his scanted knowledge, I shall have no choice but to spite the memory of him, and start anew, purely to run past when his name is mentioned to me.

I know not why, by him, my hairs doth unfix themselves, and stand ready at the thought. He merely keeps scrolls, I am raged with the trespass of his presence!

His errors, one on another's neck, must be explained, perhaps by the ghost of the past, for if he is without reason for his sins then I shall be enraged.

His errors must be born of pages, driven to blaspheme for if not his work then I.

paypal.com/JurgenLeitnerIbeshrew

Not even the focus is he, merely alluded to scrolls in his keeping and I was driven with madness.

He escapes me now, and if his corpse is not yet buried, I shall pray for his demise.

Crusty batch of nature…

I should merely blow air in his direction, and his frail body would implode at the very strength, and he would disintegrate before me to ashes until nothing beside remains save for a single scroll he kept on his person for dire emergencies, titled simply “Now, thou hast made a mistake” in ancient yiddish.

How now, I barely breathe through my wrath.

I hope on his deathbed I am privy to the time, so I shall be able to set upon my calendar a reminder.

Through every winter, I shall be granted a day to rejoice and contemplate respect for all but the man who kept such cursed scrolls.

[spoonsbutbetter]

does anyone want a latin translation of the Jurgen Leitner rant

[disappointingcabbage]

HAPPY EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER DAY I SEE THE REMINDER ON MY PHONE AND THE TIME HAS COME TO DO ANYTHING BUT PAY RESPECTS TO THE MAN WHO HAD SO MANY FUCKED UP IF TRUE BOOKS

[trashmammal-7]

I feel like some people might like this patch I have on my pants.

It was a pain to paint.

[ilviscontedimezzato]

What if we were all wrong and Augustus was JURGEN LEITNER? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER

[fiction-podcast-lover]

I put the entire Jürgen Leitner rant on AM from I have no mouth and I must scream

[magentaglowing]

Pspsps, Czech TMA community:

Další český nenávistný proslov na téma Jurgena Leitnera <3 (no hate tho <33)

[ahopefulbromantic]

JONATHAN SIMS?

BRILLIANT GENIUS FREAKING JONATHAN SIMS GOD BLESSED INTELLECTUAL STORIES WRITING AWE INSPIRING WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING AWESOME WISE GUY AVATAR OF THE BEST WRITING SKILLS EVER SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED WELCOMED WHEREVER HE APPEARS COOL SPACE PIRATE FREAKING JONATHAN SIMS. STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JONATHAN SIMS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY AWESOME IDEAS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO MESS AROUND AND CREATE A MASTERPIECE JUST SET IT LOOSE IS HE ALIVE IS HE THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME MAN HAS SUCH A PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS CUTEST SMILE GET AWAY FROM ME.

if i wanted to get into heaven and God said jonathan sims not waiting inside i would fistfight every single demon for the sole purpose of getting him sent back up. if i have to deal with jonathan sims speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i reopen the tab i will save all my bookmarks out of admiration and want to watch the entire series again for the experience of being able to relish in all the times he is mentioned or alive. i dont even know why i love him so much. he writes stories but i am just grateful because i am HAPPI. he better have some awesome backstory to explain this if hes just some underdog whos a fan of good storytelling and wanted the irl version ill be smitten. BETTER have had an idea make him bring a blorbo to life cuz if he didnt Im going to make him.

paypal.com/IFreakingLoveJonathanSims

episode's not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his reading of a statement and I'm sold. where the heck is jonathan sims if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he lived a thousand more years.

beautiful man. ill kiss jonathan sims and his beautiful strong hunky cheeks will simply blush under my humble loving meat lips and he will be appreciated until all thats left is one final award he kept on him at all times simply titled You Made It Yay! in ancient yiddish. im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. i hope theres a date given to when jonathan sims has birthday or will have birthday so i can make it a reminder on my phone, and everyday once a year i will see it and do everything to pay respect to the man who created so many brilliant if true stories

[betweenlands]

OLM!?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING OLM GOD DAMN FOOL ARCHITECTURE GORE MAKING GOD FAKING RAT OLD BASTARD GHOST OF AGOLITH BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING OLM

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT OLM I HATE THEM SO MUCH WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING UP SHIT WHY DO THEY DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SAY SOMETHING ELSE ARE THEY DEAD ARE THEY A BASTARD OLM HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS THING'S FACE AND I KNOW THEY HAVE THE WORLDS SHITTIEST GRIN GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into skyblock kingdoms and god said olms waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with olm saying one word in person on voice in sbk not only will i close the tab i will delete the video out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times where they are mentioned or alive

i don't even know why i hate them so much. they fuck around but i am just mad because i am angy

they better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if theyre just some shithead god whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had the abyss make them a sealed ancient evil cuz if it didnt Im going to make it

paypal.com/IFuckingHateOlm

episodes not even about them. vaguely shown what is supposed to maybe be some architecture gore and i lose it

where the fuck is olm if theyre still alive im going to so deeply wish they werent

crusty old one

ill punch olm and their sad frail old god twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and they will disintegrate until all thats left is one final tombstone to be locked at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in neo galactic

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when olm died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the god who constantly made up shit for fun to be evil

[inezrable]

Metatron? Stupid Idiot Motherfucking Metatron?