#the skull was pain

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[thebibliosphere]

The sheer number of neurological disorders I’ve acquired over the years is truly just like, the spiders George of neurological fuckery.

1. Chronic “normal” migraines (15-20 days a month)

2. Hemiplegic migraines (rarely. But terrifying when they happen.)

3. Cluster headaches (come and go in flares)

4. Trigmeral nueralgia

And the latest son of a bitch to the line up:

5. Occipital neuralgia

And that’s just the shit that affects my head. It doesn’t even account for everything the fuck else that is wrong with me and the stuff we just found out about my spine. Like Jesus Wept.

Like I dunno how we’re going to mindfulness our way out of this one girlypop but I’ll try.

[eyeofthenewt1]

Ashton, sketchpage

[crustyfloor]

SUA LORE (I'm going to die one of these days fuck)

When Sua was younger, among all the sisters she had grown up with, she had one older sister, but seemingly, unlike their other sisters, that woman didn't treat Sua with hostility, in fact, she looked like she doted on Sua and looked out for her.

Translation (Creds to: @/greenbean1467 on yt in the comments section):

1/2 ?: You should take care of your hair. (Woah, careful) ?: So immature… 2/2 ?: Alright, it can’t be helped. Sua has to be punished! Tickle tickle! [ At that time, you were my only person, and for that reason, you also made me afraid. ]

"You were my only person, and for that reason, you also made me afraid" Is just...All her life, Sua had been an isolated individual, by choice, and because she had been shunned by her family, avoided due to her cold nature, and during those times she's only had two people to who she could really show herself too, this woman and Mizi, this woman being the only person Sua had in her life I can only imagine how afraid Sua was of losing her sister, and just how much her sister terrified her at times.

1/2 SUA: Mhm, so mother said, it’ll be time to leave after ten more nights. And mother seems happy, and I too… SUA: And that pink-haired kid could be there too, so… ?: Didn’t I tell you it’s uncouth to wiggle your toes like that? 2/2 SUA: Oh… I won’t then. ?: Ugh, so cute! ?: But you know, big sis is worried. ?: Worried that our immature little Sua could just up and die in that hellish place.

This woman and Sua look to be close; they are affectionate, and Sua almost seems to look up to this woman as if a sister figure, but the detail here I'm interested in is how worried this woman is about Sua and her remarks about Sua, she cares about Sua. Still, it shows that she looks down on Sua to some degree, whether this be in a teasing tone or not, I'm unsure. But there's an obvious obsessive fixation on Sua's innocence. And even in this relationship, cruelty was reinforced as a means to an end.

1/2 ?: You’re already so stupid, what if you just up and die in that place? ?: You poor thing, Sua. [They say that corpses fall from the sky in that place. When a weak kid like Sua just up and dies, They burn those kids in a hot, hot fire, And then they open the sky lid to sprinkle them over the living kids Like snow raining down. ] 2/3 ?: Even if it's not, I'm not smart, but I've gone so far ?: Pick--If you die. What should I do? ?: It's so cute Sua.

Growing up under the same guardian, Nigeh, who valued quality and beauty in her pets, it becomes obvious why Sua's sister was criticizing her appearance. She'd grown up hearing the same criticisms from the harsh and cold Nigeh who didn't care for their pets beyond their value, and what all they could bring to the plate, I could imagine just what kinds of things Nigeh would say to a pet human with "abnormalities".

Sua, however, was the perfect pet human, she was pretty, obedient, and acted obediently for Nigeh as a manicured doll to meet their expectations. She was attached to Nigeh like a daughter to a mother, looking to their validation to feel as if she was more valuable than she truly was even though the love wasn't reciprocated. For these reasons, she was treated differently from her other sisters, of course, there would be a level of envy and projection from Sua's sister.

Sua's sister is shown to be anxious about Sua, she seems to have been attached to her in the way a hurt child needs a security blanket to rest at night, Sua is so childish, naive, and stupid, it is reassuring to her sister to have someone to care for, as if there was still hope in this world, so without Sua, her sister's worries wouldn't be soothed, her sister was so scared that she even threatened Sua with fear, expressing how frightening and horrific this environment would be (Like, "Pick, if you die" I read it as "If I lose you, what should I do?)

In this way, Sua seems to parallel mirror woman because Sua had this same dependency on Mizi, again, in the way a hurt, lonely, scared child needs a security blanket to rest at night, Sua wanted Mizi to remain naive and stupid, willingly kept her in the dark so that Sua could feel a sense of peace and security through her, her sister was the same way with Sua, she wanted to keep Sua from the hell she would be subjected to very, very soon, but in the end, telling Sua ugly truths, about the snow, and all, had to have been fueled by bitter feelings, to rid Sua of that type of innocence, could have been any kind of love, perhaps in a twisted way she wanted to protect Sua.

She obviously had to have been mentally unstable (understandably) to say these kinds of things to a child, no less, the way she stares at Sua like she's desperate and broken, really, it's not loving, it's just desperate and cruel. Really, the fact that Alien stage can bring a person to this kind of insanity is a horrifying concept. Still, I believe she was trying to teach a lesson to Sua at this time in her life when she was growing up, making attachments and being susceptible to impressions, it was purposely harsh to frighten her, to project her fears onto Sua, and those words from her sister stuck with Sua for the rest of her life.

From that day on, all Sua could think about was death, all she could do was worry and worry until she met Mizi again.

Meeting Mizi, in all her optimism and bright smiles, was like a healing balm on Sua's wounds, or in other words, her "Cure" .

1/2 SUA: Big sister, your words then made me, as young as I was, all the more afraid. I imagined “just up and dying” so many times, even more than before… 2/2 SUA: But if I meet you again, I want to tell you this. That you were wrong. The one to be pitied was probably you.

1/2 SUA: If this is hell… 2/2 MIZI: Found you! You're that snow doll!

Interestingly enough, Mizi calling Sua a "snow doll" may be a foreshadowing of Sua's death, as now it's semi-confirmed that dead children are cremated and sprinkled down onto the Anakt children's faces, but they only think it's snow. (THAT IS JUST FUCKING SICK. someone kill me)

And a parallel to the MIZISUA video, their first meeting. (The nickname is just--telling of how Sua is perceived, as a little dressed-up doll.)

(And that fact just gives this piece a wholeeee darker meaning. of course. It somewhat disproves the theory that the dead are instead fed to the Wagyein, but I don't know which is worse. Then again Sua's sister could've been going off on a psychotic rant, so I'm not taking it too seriously. It's a weird coincidence though)

1/2 SUA: Where else could you find such a paradise so wonderful? 2/2 SUA: So you're wrong.

(Some nuance may be lost in translation. I died)

So this comic, like Ivan's comic after ROUND 6, Cure, Heavenly Garden, was Sua's reminiscing during her final moments, and her only thoughts were the words of her sister, her face, haunting as it was, and Mizi, her universe.

Sua's sister pitied her for her inevitable fate, she had known the life of being a pet-human, used, abused, and hurt, she feared death and still had her instincts intact. Knowing Sua would go through the same cycle and then meet a terrible fate on that hellish stage...tasted bitter. It was frightening, but it was one small liberty for Sua to make it something of her own.

But for Sua, it was far from hell. Sua's sister references Anakt garden and Alien stage as a whole as hell because it's a one-way ticket to your demise, there is no true life once you're in, that's why it's so frightening, but being found by Mizi in that garden--Mizi was wonderful, Mizi made Sua feel like a child, to feel warm in her bright, gentle light, feeling the tranquility of feeling freed and loved in the comfort of Mizi's gentle song, Sua didn't want to be pitied, she didn't even regret making it this far, she didn't care about death as long as she wasn't without Mizi, Because to be able to be with her, and sing with her...everything was all worth it to meet Mizi. For Sua, there is no fate more miserable than living a life without Mizi and dying that way. Living a life of loneliness and anxiety was pitiful.

Side note, the title of this comic, Heavenly Garden, maybe a religious reference and, more specifically, a reference to the Garden of Eden. The themes here that connect to "Return to the Great Anakt", all children, in ashes and all will eventually return to the great Anakt, it gives me the idea that after Sua's death, her "Heaven", was returning to Anakt Garden and returning to her paradise, Mizi.

[annievrse]

me or 100k?

dazai x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 blurb

"would you rather kiss me for $100,000 or the prettiest girl in the world for $1m?" you ask your boyfriend, phone in front of your face.

dazai hums. "i'll take the $1m."

you don't realise your face drops at his response until he sits up from his place on the couch.

"what? i get to kiss you too, so i don't see the problem."

raising your eyebrows, you smile at him. "you think i'm pretty?"

"pfft," dazai laughs, reaching forward to grasp your hands. "of course, i think you're pretty. i think you're prettier than pretty."

you shove your face in your hands to avoid his eyes, but you can't help the thundering beat of your heart in your chest.

"c'mere," dazai giggles, pulling you toward him. you land with your face on his shoulder and laugh, peering up at him.

"i would kiss the prettiest boy in the world for $1m, too."

the only indication that dazai heard you was the immediate bloom of red on his cheeks. "we're not talking about me."

"yes, we are," you nod, pressing your lips to his neck. "you're prettier than pretty."

dazai scoffs, but it's a weak attempt at diverting your attention. "we gotta get to work."

you gasp, lips upturned. "osamu dazai insisting we go to the agency? who are you?"

"shut up," he whispers, dragging you to stand from the couch.

once dazai locks the front door, you turn to him. "i can't wait to let everyone know my boyfriend is the prettiest in the whole world."

"do that, and i'll tell ranpo what you did to his candy stash."

[letitbehurt]

I’m not usually a fan of sick Whump, but when Whumpee is running such a high fever that they’re shaking, taking uneven, shallow breaths, their skin chafing and burning against their clothes.

The moment Caretaker lays a palm on their forehead to check their fever and Whumpee sighs with relief because it’s so blessedly cold.

The moment Whumper cups Whumpee’s cheek with one hand and turns their head slightly, and Whumpee hates themself for leaning into it, but they just want the burning to stop.

[isbergillustration]

Pain. Death. Suffering.

[izzypaw]

draw trans ppl to make the pain go away

[glostudios]

Part l | Part II

The rest of my pookie @tesscourtes ‘s LOTF book I scribbled in!

If the last post was TLDR, my pookie is my universe and I love them fiercely and I wanted to make them a special bday gift and Metal Gear is very special to us 😌

🐍🖤🖤🖤🪲

[hollownest-whore]

Tiso with severe head trauma scars my beloved !! Both gjinka and bug form, it means so much to see him deal with damage. I love any depictions of it, mine focuses more on his feelings and thoughts about being mortal. Especially compared to someone he considered very small and weak, actually is a wyrm-blood who not only beat the Colosseum but walked out without the damage he carries permanently.

I giggle and go yaaaaaay

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

when you mentioned in your tags that there was hardly any laughingstock i didn't believe you at first, but holy shit ur right. YOU AND @krasytoonz MADE ME INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK BELIEVER. I WILL PAY TRIBUTE TO THESE SKRUNGLY FUCKERS SOON, MARK MY WORDS *shakes fist into the void*

no yeah Seriously though its just us out here, fighting for our lives in the fucking Trenches. in ten years someone is gonna use the word 'laughingstock' casually in conversation and im gonna have War Flashbacks

[bobokitty]

This scene will forever live rent free in my mind

Also, for all your editing needs, I present to you:

TRANSPARENT BELLY FLOPPING CROC!

Have fun with him~~! (I saw one with him in the Titanic scene, which like, A+++)

[eyeofthenewt1]

chronic pain

[dreamtigress]

Crow Skull Cane

My new Asterom cane. I used Molotow Liquid Chrome paint to make the wooden handle look like metal. Also added a deerskin wrist strap. Absolutely in love with it.

Asterom is an Ukrainian company that makes amazing canes. They do custom heights, and have good, quality construction. They even sent an extra rubber tip. Customer service is top notch. If you need a very sexy mobility aid, consider Asterom. https://asterom.com/

Image description: a crow skull handled cane. The head of the cane is painted silver to look like metal. The staff of the cane is black stained wood.

[sacrificialsheepskull]

You should smash your sheep skull on your head so it makes a cut in your head and rips your brain membrane. I’ve been daydreaming on different ways for you to die or at least leave and not be seen again.

-@dogskahara

that's not how anatomy works at all but get mad for all i care

[nebulous-rain]

stream doodles!! my blog is so dry