#the ship i didn't know i needed in my life

[marzipanandminutiae]

Eggers confirmed in interview that Ellen wasn't a child, she was teenager at the start of the film. You can probably say there's case of ephebophilia. But there is no CSA there. Also Eggers absolutely saw it as Dark romance and ships it himself. He wouldn't be doing it if there was CSA.

And that's fine, but not everyone accepts Word of God as canon

My thoughts on Eggers' interview statements are that he should have made his intentions clearer if that's what he was going for, because a huge portion of the audience came away with the impression that it was about someone's stalker/rapist coming back to jeopardize the life she'd made for herself out from under his thumb. And like...if he wanted people to not think that, he should have made directing choices that made the onscreen story match his vision better.

You're free to interpret it however you want. What I take issue with is people saying that there's One True Interpretation and no viable way to see it in any other light. There's one interpretation that the director intended, but the movie he actually made leaves holes to interpret it a different way. He shouldn't have made it that way if he had a very specific story to tell.

How can I see it as CSA? Simple. She said she was "a child" when it started and even if she was a young teenager, it being the early 1830s (assuming she's like 20-23 at time of canon, based on statistical age at first marriage for women back then) doesn't magically make 15-year-olds adults. 15 back then was about like 17 now- not a Tiny Baby, but decidedly not a Full Grown-Up either. "Child" CAN be a euphemistic term for a naive or inexperienced adult, but it's not always

And maybe if he wanted people to not interpret her as a literal child...he shouldn't have had her characterize herself that way in the dialogue, talking about when all of this started? "I was so young," "I didn't know better," "I was a fool," "I was naive," etc. SO MANY clearer wordings there. They already didn't get a child actress to play her in the opening scene; without that line, I'd assume it had been like. A few years before her marriage, when she was maybe 17-18, and just seen it as abuse rather than arguable CSA. It's a weird dialogue choice if he wanted to convey "the vampire sex started when she was young but not unacceptably young," like many other weird choices that I felt were counterproductive to his stated narrative aims.

Doesn't mean my interpretation is objectively correct either! But you don't see me going around saying that there's No Way Anyone Could See It As Consensual And That's Wrong And Bad.

I have both been there and done that before, coming from a fandom (Crimson Peak) where there's no way to interpret a central relationship as peer CSA/COCSA if you go by Word of God, but there's absolutely space for that based on what ended up in the actual movie. And I've had to make peace with it, even though I ship that couple to the moon and back.

You like these fake people kissing in this way, and other people don't. And that's fine! You don't need a big moral justification for it, or to have the Single Correct Interpretation!

[winters-on-the-wing]

hmm, well, you're one to talk about letting people like what they like when you're going batshit on me about a post that does not mention jegulus anywhere. do you see me saying a single word about james? the only two names i mention at all in the post are regulus and umbridge.

so what the hell does that have to do with jegulus?

answer: nothing. but YOU can't handle your precious little fascist white boy being shipped with anybody but james, so you got on my blog and chose to scroll to my post that's just talking about a ship i like, and then hating on me just for talking about kittywater, a ship i happen to like! you're the one that's shitting on me for no reason! you're the one that needs to let people like what they like!

also, let me say a few things based on what you've written.

the other two things we know about regulus in canon, the things that jegulus stans love to purposefully ignore, are that he had a voldemort shrine in his bedroom, and that he got the dark mark by choice when not even his parents had it. regulus adored voldemort. and it doesn't matter that he changed his mind. he still helped voldemort kill thousands of people out of sheer hatred for a minority group that did nothing wrong. he's still a racist and a fascist. and he didn't even die for those oppressed people. he got upset about voldemort's wrongs only when it affected HIMSELF. HIS slave. so yeah, i'm gonna go ahead and say that regulus is not a good guy. sorry? but i actually read the books.

there are so many more differences between jegulus and jily than the queerness. first of all, regulus is an active oppressor of the minority groups in this universe, while lily is a member of said minority group. second of all, regulus has no personality in the books while lily has a beautiful, complex, well-sculpted personality. your fanon little wet cat doesn't count.

and the most important one. there is NOTHING about lily and regulus' family/sibling situation that is REMOTELY similar. if anything, they have opposite situations. you are not actually comparing sirius to petunia?? let's do a little review of their situations, shall we? sirius was being abused by his parents due to his disagreeing with their blood supremacist views, and as a result, he ran away for his own safety and peace of mind. regulus could have left with sirius at any time, but regulus CHOSE to stay with his parents and become the new heir. regulus CHOSE to become a death eater even though the black family was not affiliated with voldemort whatsoever. now, lily was the favorite child of her family, and this became especially blatant when she found out she was a witch and petunia wasn't. petunia was so overwroght with jealousy that she made lily's life a living hell, to the point where lily had to completely abandon the muggle world for the wizarding world. when looking at these two stories side by side, you can see that regulus isn't similar to lily at all. regulus is similar to PETUNIA. :) so if by similar, you mean that regulus is similar to lily's abuser, then you're right there! but other than that? i think you're just delusional.

guys regulus and umbridge are so perfect for each other

they’re both evil little shits who like to pretend that they’re the heroes of the story and the victims of their situations even though every awful thing they did was a conscious choice! they’re made for each other!!

[mgu-h]

nortrell is just so ouuughhhhh if I have nothing in my life I have them. homoerotic friendship but it’s childhood bedroom vibes like they did give each other handies but it was under the comforter and that’s just so eughdjak I need to shove them into my pockets

it drives me insane because i'll be honest, i started researching lando in order to write carlando or norstappen fanfic. i wanted to know why he behaves the way he does to have him be in character, and i wanted to capture his cadence and diction for dialogue. i did not start out for nortrell. I didn't even fucking know about it. i was aware of quadrant, but i didn't know that one of the members was simply different to the others. genuinely this dive into lando's history has felt more like the discovery of max fewtrell, because max IS lando's private story, where he comes from, where he goes whenever he can. max holds lando's private self in his hands and he keeps it safe, and in return lando gave and keeps giving him everything, arranging a whole life for him, one built to show him off. people can easily see the devotion max has for lando, the affection and care he offers openly, but it's not one way only.

i didn't know before that lando caught max when max's whole life fell apart, when he lost his whole identity and future (this happened to me at the same age), and experienced depression (which i share). lando was there to take care of him, in a way that makes me ache with tenderness. i have never shipped childhood friends before, ever, nothing this sweet, but the ship simply emerged from the lore and demanded it be shipped. i've said it before but it's like lando's actually not just a planet, he's a planet with a moon, and if you just see the planet without understanding the entire system, you're missing out on something essential, the way the tides move on the surface, the flow of lando's emotional ocean. there's platonic, romantic, and erotic energy binding them together, love in all its forms, and you can definitely minimize the romantic to write fic for him with others, but max still has to be inside lando like a matryoshka doll in order for lando to really be lando, you know?

idk man their bond is just beautiful and sexy and meaningful to the degree it literally drove me to actually write rpf for the first time, not just think about it. i will never get over the fact that i found it when i wasn't looking for it, stumbling over it when it's something rare and precious. lando and the love (platonic or romantic or whatever) of his life. i'll never be able to unsee it, and i don't want to, it's everything to me now lmao

[gummybearzgocrazyagain]

...tuesday, n-day of the apopond gate...

i am fucking cackling, pond must be so confused opening his socmed and randomly finding out he has apparently been dating apo all along

[thehollowwriter]

RAAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS AHSJDJD. I did actually make a post a while back discussing how mysgony and favouritism towards men is especially blatant when it comes to parents. Mr and Mrs Rosehearts, Amity's parents (thank you for that btw I'm tired of Mr Blight being so babied), and even Vi and Silco from Arcane (Vi is not a mom and she and Silco aren't together obviously, but Vi is parentified and demonised as an abusive monster while Silco is regarded as the "best father in animated history")

Mrs Rosehearts is terrible of course, but it's very telling when fans take it and run and suddenly not only is she controlling, now she's homophobic and transphobic and racist even though there is 0 indication of that. Even I fell into this trap in the past, and looking back on it it's nothing but mysgony.

If Mr and Mrs Rosehearts were to trade places, it's very likely that, even though the fandom would still hate him, he would be given mountains of backstory and characterisation that would make him more sympathetic and human. In reality he, like you said, is either ignored or automatically assumed to be a victim too even though his silence and lack of action is also abuse (And, at least in my experience, that makes him almost worse than Mrs Rosehearts)

We barely know anything about Azul's bio dad, and though some people imagine him to be abusive, there's a lot of grace given to his character. If we were to make him Azul's bio mom instead, well, there would be a lot of character bashing and hatred and probably "I think Azul's bio mom is the reason he hates himself actually!" type of shit

Like op says, that it's fairly common to find some creators writing/drawing/etc mainly Mrs Rosehearts getting what she "deserves" by depicting her being hit by car, attacked, mutilated, murdered, having her life ruined, etc. This isn't necessarily bad on it's own, but it's the intense pleasure people get from it feels less like "justice" and more of a reminder of how much people subconsciously love watching female characters suffer even if it's for the most minor of things. It's uncomfortable. It's scary.

I know for a fact if she was a man it would just be "Oh silly Mister Rosehearts you need to go to therapy so you can stop traumatising your son lol" maybe "You need to be bonked on the head/beat up a bit and sent to therapy" at worst. (I'm an avid Rollo defender but even though people are fairly terrible to him, he still gets the "poor guy needs therapy" treatment and is not treated with anywhere near as much vitriol as Mrs Rosehearts)

Lilia, as much as I love him, isn't the best most perfect father in the whole wide world. He loves children deeply of course but he is also unintentionally neglectful and sometimes blind to their struggles (*gestures to book 7*) This is however simply brushed over and ignored (in fact it's treated more like "just silly fae family things") and it's a shame because it really does feel like something that's important to acknowledge.

There's also the problem of side characters who appear in events or in important story moments. Skully? Neige? Baul? Knight of Dawn? Tons of fanart, fanfic, theories, analysis, etc. So much appreciation for their designs, how they're written/their story overall, and so on, even if their appearances are brief. (*cough there's also the fact that Baul's wife gets tossed aside to ship him with Lilia and I've read too many fics where he's just cheating on her and it's just "Eh I didn't love her that much anyway" like come on :/)

But then we get to Najma (though she's a poc girl so she's ignored most of the time)... and Meleanor... and Dilla... hell, even Epel's grandmother, and it's "mommy" and art of them in skimpy clothes that barely hide anything (and in Najma's case from some art I've seen... incredibly racist "hot bellydancer" art) and "Milf! Milf! Milf!" "Ohhh her booobs..." which sure the other side characters got too... but the difference is that isn't *all* they got. People literally fell in love with a MOB STUDENT (Scarabia Student B iirc) and gave him all kinds of lore and characterisation, but these ladies barely get anything.

Yes there is some analysis mainly with Meleanor (but c'mon she's the most popular male twst characters' mom so :/) but there still isn't... much. Nobody cares unless it's turned into something hot and alluring. Nobody has much to say apart from lustful comments about their bodies.

Anyways yeah that's my rant for the day ansnsnsnddndnfn

It really is quite noticeable that when the male characters in TWST (even the one-off ones) do somethings fucked up that there's at least 10 people writing essays on how their pookie is So Much More Complex than that vs a woman being even mentioned negatively by a male character and therefore we get treated to people drawing her "getting what she deserves" and calling her a bitch.

[wasyago]

old men

[team--charlotte]

baffling decision for season 2, episode 18 to end with lewis making a legit effort for charlotte, making a picnic of things she likes and hugging her and seeming really happy with her

only for episode 19 to trample all over that with him blowing her off after she mentions that she misses him and hasn't seen him for a while, then apparently forgetting he even has a girlfriend altogether and softly flirting with his ex while the narrative agrees that this is correct because, unlike charlotte, cleo always smiles when she first sees lewis. you know. unlike charlotte. who goes out of her way to try and make lewis happy and smiles literally every time she sees him. there's not even an episode between these!

[einsatzzz]

art time-lapse of this piece that i posted in IG b4 to try out doing reels. i really like how this turned out overall plus "yasashii suisei" (link for eng tl) really fit the vibes so im queueing this here too

[necrotic-nephilim]

do you ship helena bertinelli with anyone? if yes, then which characters and why? what's your favorite helena ship? do you have any helena rarepairs? (i know you've talked about helena/steph and you're so right about it, it's a very interesting ship)

!!!! i have so many ships for my best girl ever yes oh my god thank you for asking.

my top pairing is probably Vic Sage/the Question. Vic is the basic answer, but man. i love them so much. no couple has matched each other's freak like that have. Justice League Unlimited is a great adaptation of Helena in general, but it also did a great adaptation of Helena and Vic's relationship. how he just dedicates himself to helping her with no expected return, but also wants to make sure she doesn't go too far in a hunt for vengeance that never ends for her. i think a lot of characters often want to change Helena or expect things out of her for their own needs, like the Batfam and the BoP. but Vic is one of the few people who just wants her to be better for her own good. when he tries to stop her from killing it's not because of his morals, it's because he doesn't want this crusade to consume her. and i just. man i think about them a lot. Helena rlly likes weird little men who give themselves wholly to her.

Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk is also a top ship for me. tbh i just like Zinda. but i do love how Helena and Zinda interact, being the more rough and tumble members of the BoP. they're both outsiders, in different ways. Helena is an outsider of the Batfam and Zinda is literally from a different time and an outsider to the current world. their friendship is so genuine and i think if Babs and Dinah can have. whatever homoerotic nonsense going on during BoP, then Zinda and Helena deserve some homoerotic nonsense too. as a treat.

if we're willing to count New-52 Helena, then i enjoy Helena/Dick/Tiger. i think Helena and Dick being a past relationship is really important in pre-Flashpoint for Helena's development, though i don't ship them as a serious couple beyond a fling. but in the New-52, i think this throuple be fun. Helena and Tiger respect each other as two very driven, no-nonsense agents and then well. they both clearly have some kind of thing for Dick. so it's fun finding the balance of how they could all work together romantically.

and ofc. it's a crime to mention Helena ships and not mention Renee Montoya/the Question. every time they interact it's really fucking gay. it's so gay that Kate Kane, Renee's own ex, assumed Helena and Renee were gay. i cannot be convinced against this ship. i genuinely think this ship should be canon. i mean. DC did tease us with this moment from an alternate universe and it's lived rent for me since. fucking criminal for us to only get one panel of what we could have if DC let Helena be a fruit in the main universe. being in love with Helena Bertinelli should be a right of passage for the Question mantle, i personally believe. if you asked me like. genuinely who i want to see Helena date in the current comics, Renee is my top pick. (i would say Vic but he's fucking dead and the New-52 butchered him so rip my mans-)

lois lane (2019) #10

besides those ships, just about every ship for Helena probably falls into the category of rarepair. like you said i've talked about my love for Helena/Steph before bc god. i think it should be a thing more people ship. once i finish the fic i'm writing about them i will convince others to like it.

i also think Helena/Cass could be fun. in a *lot* of ways Helena and Cass are narrative parallels to each other. Helena was a victim of her family being murdered at about the same age Cass was forced to be a murderer. Helena grows up to believe in lethal justice because of this, and Cass grows up to be staunchly against it. Cass' Batgirl suit was made *by* Helena. they both want to be protectors of the most vulnerable people. they balance each other out in a lot of ways and i think they should kiss about it.

also probably a rarepair, i think Helena/Lady Shiva is fun. their fight during Birds of Prey (2010) had... questionable moments for Helena's characterization, but i do love so much that Helena knocks Shiva off her feet and gains a deep respect from Shiva. like. Shiva gives her a nickname and shows her admiration. i would like to see fanfic where Shiva continues to be weirdly admirable of Helena and bothering her non-stop. they could be a fun fucked up toxic yuri moment. this is just. so gay to me.

birds of prey (2010) #6

my most rare Helena pair would probably be Helena Wayne, actually. but specifically Helena Wayne of JSA (2022). ever since, for some reason, it was made canon that the current Helena Wayne was named after Helena Bertinelli and took the name Huntress to honor her i *cannot* stop thinking about them meeting. because in-universe it makes *no* fucking sense for Bruce to name his kid after *Helena Bertinelli*, someone he's regularly at odds with and doesn't like. it's clearly an awkward explanation to try to make the whole two Huntress situation make sense. (it's almost as bad as Helena Wayne in the New-52 using Helena Bertinelli as an alias.) but because it's such an odd choice, i do think it could be fun for Helena Wayne, when she's back in time to see Bruce, to find Helena Bertinelli to get to know the woman she was named after and Helena Bertinelli just being. baffled by the idea of *Batman* naming his kid after her. it could be a fun fucked up moment.

my other super rarepair is Kara Zor-L/Power Girl. they had like. one meaningful interaction of JSA Classified and it's been PLAGUING me. something about when Power Girl doesn't remember her past and she's seeking a friend, she instinctively goes to find Huntress? but it's wrong bc this isn't *her* Huntress and neither of them understand why Power Girl would seek Helena out? god it's so good. i'm always a big fan of ships where one person in the ship is *so* obviously using the other person as a replacement for someone they lost and they both know it. it's such a doomed angsty thing where you could play with Helena actually really liking Kara, but knowing that she's just a replacement for Kara's Helena Wayne. good fucked up shit man.

and lastly: i really ship her with Dawn Granger/Dove. there's no canon basis for this, they didn't have a ton of interactions even when they were both on the BoP. but there's a very kind innocence to Dawn that contrasts Helena's violence really well. and i do love a ship with a corruption kink vibe to it. let Helena corrupt Dawn. i could write such fucked up porn about these two.

[bibuckleykinard]

how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence

like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit

[biro-slay]

Am I obsessed with Minecraft YouTubers AGAIN??

[stxrfclls]

nerina  only  rolls  her  eyes,  she's  not  going  to  continue  to  argue  when  alina  is  right,  but  nor  will  she  let  the  conversation  continue  when  she's  wrong.  love  was  such  a  foreign  concept  to  the  dragomirs,  she  wasn't  sure  how  to  manage  it  nor  navigate.  the  relationships  with  her  siblings  alone  was  enough  to  prove  that,  estranged  or  mended  but  never  perfected.  she  and  alina  may  be  closer  now,  but  their  inability  to  have  a  healthy  relationship  in  their  childhoods  was  only  another  tally  in  the  category  of  a  broken  home  and  incomplete  heart.  nerina  lets  her  sisters  words  settle  in  her  mind,  beginning  to  reply  before  she  hears  daxton's  name.  she  sighs,  wishing  to  be  angry  but  she  can't.  alina  has  to  be  careful  due  to  her  position,  but  nerina  hopes  this  is  also  because  she  simply  cares  for  her  sister.  no,  she  knows  that  to  be  true.  "  daxton  also  said  i  should  not  be  worried  about  you  with  cedrian.  "  admits  the  younger  dragomir.  she'd  cornered  the  spymaster  and  demanded  facts,  worried  for  her  sister  and  pushing  into  the  relationship  he  held  with  alina.  she  had  no  regrets,  she  suspected  neither  did  alina.  but  having  her  approval  was  important,  she  couldn't  be  with  someone  her  sister  didn't  like.  "  no,  i  think  you  two  need  to  meet  alone.  "  any  man  who  could  not  withstand  alina  on  their  own  feet  wasn't  strong  enough  to  deal  with  the  summer  pirate.  she  had  no  doubt  alistair  could  handle  himself.  "  another  who  is  tethered  to  his  own  court,  no  less.  "

"  need  i  remind  you  my  ship  is  home  to  heathens  and  immature  fae  alike  ?  "  parrots  the  younger  summer  lady.  she  doesn't  stick  her  tongue  out  though,  even  if  she  wants  to.  a  nod,  "  next  time  i  sail  i  shall  send  for  you,  drag  you  to  take  the  long  way  to  the  day  court  with  me.  "  since  now  they  both  had  reason  to  visit.  if  only  they  had  portals,  it  would  be  far  too  good  of  an  addition  in  their  world.  perhaps  one  day,  the  magic  was  rewriting  all  they  thought  they  knew.  "  talk  to  them,  lina.  get  to  know  them.  you  won't  go  in  expecting  them  to  call  you  mom,  just  be  yourself  plus  a  little  sweeter.  "  the  latter  is  a  bit  of  a  tease,  she  knows  that  alina  is  capable  of  being  softer  around  children.  look  at  how  she  is  with  her  own  sister  as  compared  to  other  members  of  their  court.  "  then  it  is  settled,  we  shall  make  it  a  date.  "  even  if  she  were  more  pirate  than  lady  most  of  her  life,  nerina  actually  adored  children.  a  shrug,  the  summer  lady  doesn't  want  to  argue,  but  she  needs  her  point  to  be  heard.  "  when  he's  able,  but  that  is  far  less  than  now.  it's  still  something  i  am  happy  to  do.  "  because  she'd  rather  be  with  him,  and  she  knew  her  sister  could  figure  it  out.  nerina's  nose  wrinkles,  she  can't  really  explain  why,  but  the  reaction  is  had  all  the  same.  "  i  agree,  and  she's  always  been  the  most  innocent  of  all  of  us.  "  something  that  made  being  an  emissary  difficult.  ner  also  wondered  what  her  sister  was  doing  with  the  high  lord  of  this  court,  a  feeling  in  her  bones  she  does  not  bring  up  now.  she'd  seen  them  at  the  festival,  chose  to  leave  it  be  for  now  until  jules  spoke  up.  if  she  ever  did.  "  i  think  we  both  have  a  lot  to  think  about  lina,  because  we  both  deserve  happiness  even  with  the  bits  our  father  ruined.  "

END.

"you, indeed, are." truly with dragomirs as a whole, save for lavinia perhaps, the matters of heart was in essence the blinding leading the blind. alina could advise her sister on almost anything, save for affairs of the heart. it had taken the high lady far too long to allow herself to admit she had developed feelings for cedrian, and then some to realize she loves him. still, she holds the belief that ner understood these feelings far better than her elder sister ever could. for the younger fae, it was fear of falling and not having it reciprocated - that was far more frightening. "what matters is what comes with such hubris. i also believe you've discovered that as well with him." she met the younger dragomir's gaze, with her softened ones, "he does. and at the risk of you being cross with me, i had daxton look into him." she pauses, "i don't discredit your judgement, but you know well me enough that i would pry into anyone who wishes to be involved with my siblings. your commander is a good man." while ner does not admit to her feelings directly, alina had surmised enough, if her sister hadn't fallen for him, she was beginning to. ner knew what her commander meant to her, only that she struggled to admit it out loud to herself. "if he's sincere , then he has no reason to fear me. you may watch if you wish." there was mirth dancing in the high lady's gaze. "it's a curious look on you, becoming - never tethering yourself, not even to our home, but now to another."

"need i remind you're also a captain, and such antics are beneath you." alina knew that would simply earn her another eye roll. the jest falls wayside as ner returns the sentiments, and the elder simply allows herself to relish in the warmth that evaded her for so long concerning her sibling. "as am i." she dares to hope that when they returned home, the hallways of adriata palace would not be silent, they would be filled with the vibrant chatters of her siblings. "perhaps when time permits, i may be able to." how often had she wondered what it would be like to sail the seas past adriata with ner? ner's request of revealing her feels to the day high lord was ever daunting, "i will consider it." a response to soothe her sister's worry. "children are more observant then we give them credit for, i don't wish for them to think i am inserting myself into their lives. you forget i have not been around children, not even our younger siblings, i scarcely was able to hold them as toddlers or play with them as children." it was one of those times it was a stinging reminder how much she missed out with her own siblings. ner's offer has her take a beat of pause, grateful that the other was keen on this, "i would like that, and they will like meeting you." that she had no doubt of, they would find ner far more palatable than alina. she wouldn't deny she did wish to meet them, each time ced spoke of them, it was as if she knew them without ever meeting them. "he would travel with you as he's able, and i have no qualms in making sacrifices for him, without compromising my duties." how was she to explain, she does not wish for ced to do so for her? " thank you. i fear jules is far too distracted." in an emissary it was concerning, given their situation. there is relief that for now, ner drops the subject, and it was not her questions that bothered in her any form, it was that alina was even far more afraid than her sister thought her capable. alina also knew, she could not avoid having a frank discussion with cedrian for long now. "i will say this, i am taking all of your wise words into consideration as you are with mine. i do not know of love, but i read others well, so, i know, alistair will not break your heart."

[missternine]

Anyone else thinks about ✨STARCHASER✨??

Credit to the lovely ✨INDUSTRATIONS✨ who drew this amazing art

[10moonymhrivertam]

Also while I'm soapboxing I shipped River/Doctor until The Husbands of River Song and people like to make edits of all that to hell and back but. Isn't that so lonely? This person matched you and compelled you and knew you and died and refused to give you up. And you could still give her up, for her own sake. It isn't fixed. But the next time she calls for you it's in a language you only read at home. You didn't give her up and you won't give her up. She knows things you don't know, and you assume it pales in comparison to the thing she doesn't know. You come when she calls. She knows your home better than most who have a key. You call yourself to her and she knows things you don't know again, but whatever it is, your other friends know. And you have to bear that and trust them as your memory is tampered with, time and again. And she'll do things for you that you both know you don't want to. So when you're in need, you dare to call for her, for the first time - the only time? And she doesn't. Answer. ...She has a good reason. You learn that even if she didn't know and match and compel you, you would obligate yourself to her on the strength of her connections to your friends alone. Any remaining hope you might someday find the strength to give her up - to keep her off of that planet - evaporates, now that she's your responsibility as well as your mystery. You learn, albeit briefly, what her eyes look like young. You realize that for her, you started the catchphrase that both endears and annoys you. You find out how she knew your name. You learn another of the things she's keeping from you - the one your friends were permitted to know. You prepare. You see her in a suit again, appreciate the parallels, but somehow you forgot - she won't let you go. Everything breaks. You promise never to let her go. Everything moves on. She moves on. She investigates the things she knows you investigate. She investigates the angels. She tells you about her posting. Her introduction rings in your ears. The book is read from. The loop is closing either way - this fixation could take her away before the Library does, and what does all this look like if you lose that? You don't have to find out. You learn you never had to admit to your friends that you knew how she died. It's the only nugget of comfort you have besides telling the story. And she haunts you, not in the way she always has, but like a ghost. You try not to entertain the argument that that's what she's been the whole time. You gave her all twelve faces, even the shameful one. It was the least you could do. So you never even think to hope, when a new friend grants you a new lease on life. And she doesn't recognize you, when she sees you, which is a little upsetting, but she did always have a cheat sheet before. And then she's stalling, but earnest. Lancing a wound to a captive audience.

She thinks you don't love her back.

A lifetime wasn't enough. How will twenty-four years shadowed by impending grief convince her?

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Me talking about how Lance should have had a tragic corruption revenge arc that has nothing to do with Keith or someone else: This too can be yuri/j

[doodlingwren]

I didn't log in on Tumblr for a week bc was busy in UNI hell and the second I came back, I heard about the data sold to AI mess and what the fuck am I supposed to do or to say lol...

Anyway, I must add that I'm not going, like, anywhere else. Am I tired of this situation? YES, trust me. I've already experienced art being stolen to be handed over to AI programs (I'm talking about you, DeviantArt) but I'm exhausted from moving from one social to another. The most fucked up thing is that even with a deactivated account, your stuff can be used to training Midjourney and shit, so… like, there's not a lot to do.

The thing that makes me mad is the way Tumblr handled this. By the way they wrote the announcement, it does feel like it has already happened, and the update was just a notice.