#and i am tired of everyone and their grandma turning everything about him to revolve around the ship they ship/j

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Me talking about how Lance should have had a tragic corruption revenge arc that has nothing to do with Keith or someone else: This too can be yuri/j

[iliketoreadstuf]

Hogwarts with Liv and Noah

Hey Skam gang. So this is pretty long and took me a bit to write but I finally finished the Hogwarts AU. This is what I imagine Hogwarts would be like for my NL babies. (:

Liv Reijners was a quiet 5th year student. She was smart, talented, creative, but extremely closed off. It also didn’t help that she was the only Ravenclaw in her friend group other than Esra. There was only one other person in her house that she found remotely interesting… Noah Boom.

However, after his encounter with Liv’s best friend, Engel, the year before, her opinion of him went down the drain. She remembered their argument like it was yesterday.

She’d marched up to him in the Great Hall during dinner minutes after Engel had run up to her with tears in her eyes. Noah had insulted Engel and called her worthless. When Liv heard those words she could only see red. Isa has been at Engel’s side the whole time and followed Liv as she marched right up to Noah and gave him a piece of her mind.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Liv snapped at him, immediately getting his attention.

“What?” He asked in confusion.

Liv huffed in annoyance and stood even closer to him, her dark brown eyes flashing with rage. Noah’s soft blue ones stared back and Liv was momentarily distracted before she remembered everything she needed to say.

“Treating Engel like shit? Thinking the world revolves around you? What could ever make you feel like you could treat someone like that?” Liv asked, and soon all the students eating dinner in the Great Hall were listening.

Liv felt her shy nature taking over but she ignored it. Noah needed to hear this.

“Did you never get validation as a child? Did your fucking pureblood family ignore you when you tried to show them your drawings? Did you get bullied as a first year because you had no hair on your dick?” The last part got snickers from some Slytherin boys.

“Whatever it is, you need to grow up and get over it. Don’t think I’m going to fall for that act of yours, with you rebelling against your fucking prejudiced family or your hair that hasn’t been washed in half a year.” Liv looked deep into his eyes. “It’s just nasty. Not cool.”

With that, she bumped past him with her shoulder and stormed out of the Great Hall. Noah watched her with a look of shock plastered across his face. Isa, Engel, Janna, Ralph and Esra all soon followed.

They all patted her on the back with surprised smiles on their faces.

“I never thought I’d see a Ravenclaw do something like that.” Ralph admitted, half chuckling from surprise.

“Me neither! I expected Janna to do something like that!” Isa said, her eyes wide with delight.

Liv chuckled and looked over at Engel. Engel looked upset but also so grateful.

“Are you okay, Engel?” Liv asked.

“Yeah.” She said with a bright smile.

The Hufflepuff walked over to Liv and enveloped her in a tender hug. She thanked Liv quietly as the rest of the group hugged the girls as well.

~

Over the next few months the school talked about Liv and Noah’s encounter, sure that something would happen between them. Especially because he bounded her in all the classes they had together, which was almost every class. He would sit with her and ask her to go on dates with him which she would always turn down. Nothing really did happen until the final feast on the last day of school before they went home for the summer.

Liv was sat at the Ravenclaw table with Esra and at some point Isa, Engel came from the Hufflepuff table and Janna and Ralph came from the Gryffindor table and sat with them.

They were all chatting and talking about what they were going to do during the summer when Noah stood from his spot and sat down next to Engel. Liv was on Engel’s other side and he briefly grinned at her.

“Engel, I wanted to apologize for what I said. It was completely uncalled for and I feel terrible. You’re not worthless, and I’m really sorry.” He said sincerely.

Engel’s eyes were popping out of her head as he leaned in to hug her. As he was hugging her he held his hand out to Liv, which had a note in it. Liv’s eyes widened as she snatched the note from his hand, their fingers lightly brushing. She ignored the jolt she got when they touched.

She quickly stuffed the note in her robe and turned away from him. Isa smirked at her, knowing about all his attempts. Everyone but Engel seemed to be watching Liv in anticipation to see if she would do anything with the note. But she merely ignored them and continued eating her dinner. Eventually Noah got up and went back to his spot on the other side of the table, keeping his eyes locked on Liv.

She didn’t open the note until she got back to her dormitory and was alone. Her roommate were most likely in the common room or the library, so Liv had some time to analyze the note.

In surprisingly elegant cursive writing the note read: ‘unconditional

With no-one holding you back

And away we go’

Liv’s eyebrows furrowed as she read it over and over again. Of course he would write something like that. Something poetic and artsy and… Liv had to control her speeding heart. What had she expected it to say? ‘I like you’? Or maybe ‘Go out with me’? God she needed to get ahold of herself. She didn’t want it to say that anyways.

No, she definitely didn’t want that.

~

After summer holidays, Liv and the gang were all at the first Hogsmeade trio of the year. Her summer had been boring with her muggle parents. They were too busy fussing over her baby sibling who was also a muggle. Liv got her magic from her grandma who’d passed away years before. So she always felt like the odd one out in her family.

Liv fiddled with her dark blue sweater as they all walked to The Three Broomsticks to hang out. Janna and Ralph were loudly singing as Isa and Engel and Esra all laughed along. Everyone they passed stared at them like they were crazy but none of them really cared.

Two of their Slytherin friends, Kes and Lucas, joined them at their table in the restaurant. All of them chatted and caught each other up on their summers. Liv was too lost in daydreams to participate in the conversation. What brought her back to earth was a note that fluttered down and landed next to her hand on the booth. Luckily she was sitting on the edge of the booth so no one noticed the note.

She opened it and immediately recognizes the handwriting. Noah. She looked around and found his familiar blue eyes staring at her a few tables away. He smirked and gave her a sly wink as she ignored him and read the note.

‘You look pretty today. I hope your summer was alright. Meet me out front in five?’ It read.

Liv ignored the pounding of her heart as she read the note three times. Warmth coated her cheeks as she made eye contact with him again. She looked him dead in the eyes and ripped the note in half, then in half again. Noah didn’t seem phased, though. He just grinned at her and walked out the front door. Everything in her told her to stay put. To talk to her friends that she hadn’t seen in three months. But she found herself telling them she needed air and walking out to find Noah.

He was standing around the corner of the building, leaning casually against it. Liv’s heart was racing a mile per minute, making her whole body buzz with energy.

“You came.” He sounded mildly surprised.

“Only to see what you want.” Liv shrugged.

“Only that? You didn’t miss me at all during the holidays?” He asked with a sly grin.

“Nope.” Liv shook her head, though somewhere in her mind there was protest.

“Okay, fine. But I still want to go on a date with you, Liv. I’m not going to give up until you say yes.”

“What if I never do?” Liv challenged.

“I’ll die trying.” He shrugged, seemingly not worried about that.

Liv scoffed, looking at anything but his face. His stupidly handsome face. His hair looked so soft in the moonlight and Liv wanted to touch it.

“Well don’t excite yourself. I don’t want to go on a date with you, Noah.” She said.

“Why not?” He asked curiously, tilting his head in interest.

“Because of how you treated Engel. And how you think the world revolves around you. You don’t have any regard for anyone other than yourself and I don’t want to date someone like that.” Liv said truthfully.

“How can I make you change your mind on who I am?” Noah asked, his eyes dark and almost… desperate.

Liv just looked him dead in the eyes for a few seconds before turning around and walking back to the doors. Before she could get there, though, Noah gently grabbed her hand. Liv froze in place, her hand burning where he was grabbing it.

“Wait. Please. Liv, I like you so much. Please, give me a chance.” He whispered tenderly.

Liv couldn’t help herself; she looked up at him. And his eyes looked so honest and open, and she could tell he wanted to be better. So she sighed and turned towards him.

“Meet me in the library tomorrow after potions. Maybe I’ll give you a chance then.” She said simply before gently shaking her hand out of his and going back inside.

~

Noah was already in the library when Liv walked in fifteen minutes after their potions class had ended. She’d changed into a seafoam green sweatshirt with mom jeans and boots. Her hair was in a curly bun with strands falling out from having it back during potions. She hasn’t bothered to look particularly nice because it was just the library. That was what she’d been trying to tell herself, anyways.

She sat down across from him at the small table he’d situated himself at. It was in a secluded area in the library where no one usually sat. Noah smiled gently at her and pulled out sweets from his bag, giving Liv multiple of her favorites. How he knew her favorites, she didn’t know.

“How are you?” He asked her, pulling out homework they’d gotten that day.

“Tired. Already overwhelmed with school. How are you?” She asked politely.

“Me too. But better now that you’re here.” He grinned at her, and she believed him.

Liv rolled her eyes, but a blush coated her cheeks.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked her.

“Right now I need to do Astronomy homework, but you can talk all you want.” Liv told him.

“Alright. What’s your favorite color?” He asked.

“Periwinkle.” Liv answered without a second thought, starting her essay.

“Ah, a true Ravenclaw.” Noah remarked.

“Well, what’s yours?” She asked without looking up.

“I love all colors. Reds, oranges, blues, greens, everything.” He said, staring at her as she wrote.

Liv looked up at him briefly with curiosity. He was different than she’d imagined. They continued talking for hours as they both rifled through their homework. Liv managed to finish all of it in record time whilst talking to Noah. They finished right as it was time for dinner and both of them walked to the Great Hall together.

“Maybe we could do this more often?” Noah asked somewhat hesitantly.

Liv looked at him thoughtfully. The truth was that she liked hanging out with Noah. Talking to him. He wasn’t an asshole like she thought. With a small smile she nodded. His face broke out in a huge smile. Liv laughed for the first time around him and she could’ve swore she saw his back molars because his smile was so big. His eyes were alight and joyous and it just made Liv smile at him.

They parted ways in the Great Hall but Noah continued staring at her all of dinner. No one else caught onto his staring other than Isa, who was giving him suspicious looks.

“What happened with Noah?” She asked Liv.

“Nothing. We did homework together.” Liv shrugged.

Isa narrowed her eyes and swore she would get to the bottom of things.

~

Liv and Noah ended up doing homework together around three times a week. They studied and helped each other out but also just talked as friends. It went on like this for months and soon enough it was time for Christmas break. Liv never went home for Christmas break and neither did her friends. Noah didn’t either, which was slightly compromising.

It turned out that a lot of kids stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas. Noah’s friend Gijs who was a Slytherin was throwing a huge party for 4th year students and up that stayed for the holidays. It was in the Room or Requirement and Liv and all her friends were going.

It was Christmas Eve and everything felt magical in the castle. Liv was dressed in a dark blue blouse with silver stars and mom jeans and boots. Her hair was in half buns and Isa had used a charm to put little silver stars in her hair that glimmered. Isa knew all the weird charms that rarely came in handy.

They all walked to the Room of Requirement around 8 o’clock. They went in and were greeted by a huge room with flashing lights and dancing bodies. The room was packed with people and Liv immediately felt overwhelmed. All her friends went for the bar but Liv stayed back and observed the room. She didn’t notice Noah come up behind her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she jumped slightly.

“Hey, you.” He said with a bright smile.

“Hi, weirdo. You scared me.” She said with a clumsy smile.

“I noticed. Where are your friends?” He asked.

She gestured to the bar. They were all taking shots and giggling. Noah nodded understandingly. He knew Liv didn’t like drinking. Noah didn’t either; one of the many things they had in common. He held his cup out for her.

“Water?” He asked.

She nodded and gulped some of it down. She handed it back to him with a thankful smile. She tried not to admire him. He was wearing an adorable blue sweater with jeans and boots, and it looked like they’d unintentionally matched.

“You look beautiful.” He said into her ear.

Liv blushed and playfully glared at him. She did a little twirl and modeled. Noah chuckled at her and saluted her.

“Thanks. Isa did my hair.” She gestured to the glittering stars.

“She’s very talented.” He said kindly.

Liv agreed and looked over to her friends. They seemed to be causing commotion already and she decided she’d better go and help.

“I better go. I’ll see you later, No.” She told him.

He nodded and waved goodbye to her. She made her way to Isa and Engel who were somehow already drunk. It seemed it was going to be a long night.

~

Hours passed of Liv taking care of all her friends. Esra helped control Janna and Ralph while Liv looked after Engel and Isa. It had been a long night full of holding hair back and trying to keep them from making out with each other. When Liv was overwhelmed, she handed them over to Esra and said she needed air.

She walked into the hall outside the Room of Requirement and closed her eyes. When she opened them, Noah was standing next to her. He was giving her a sympathetic look.

“Long night?” He asked.

“Very.” She replied.

“You wanna get out of here?” He asked.

Liv debated it in her head for a few seconds before giving up all logic and nodding her head. He seemed to hesitate for a second before taking her hand in his. She inhaled a sharp breath but held his hand back as he led her through the castle.

Liv didn’t know where they were going until they were climbing the steps to the Astronomy Tower. When they got to the top they stood against the ledge of the tower, looking out at the stars. Liv cast multiple warming charms over them so they weren’t shivering. She was quite good with charms, much better than Noah.

When she finished the charms for both of them, Noah looked at her with adoration. He did that often, but it still made Liv flustered every time.

“You are really amazing, you know that?” He asked when her charms completely warmed him.

“I just cast a couple of warning charms, No. I didn’t save your life.” She said with a smile.

“Still amazing.” He said.

Liv scoffed and looked out at the stars. They had a perfect view of the whole night sky. It was comforting to be surrounded by so many stars. Liv was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Noah come to stand close enough to her that their shoulders touched. She was snapped out of her daydreams when he placed his hand on top of hers on the railing. Her gaze snapped up to his.

“Liv…” He started, looking down at her with adoring eyes.

She looked up at him, finding it hard not to stare at his lips.

“I like you. A lot. I’ve liked you for a long time. Before you ever yelled at me in the Great Hall last year. I’ve always wanted to talk to you since we were sorted in Ravenclaw together in first year. And I just… I look forward to seeing you every day. I want to be something more than what we are now.” Noah confessed, intertwining their hands.

And though her mind was conflicted, Liv knew what she wanted; him. She wanted to hug him and kiss him and call him hers. And though she was scared, her want for him overpowered that.

“I like you too, No. I want to be with you.” She said quietly.

His eyes widened in shock, like he hadn’t expected her to reciprocate his feelings. She giggled quietly and before he could process what was happening, Liv was kissing him gently.

Noah kissed her back with a newfound passion, taking her face in his hands and cradling it. She was so small, so beautiful. Everything was overwhelming but also right. They were meant to be doing this.

When they pulled back for air both were grinning like idiots. Noah wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around in circles, kissing all over her face. Liv laughed and held onto him tightly. Nothing was more perfect than that moment.

[survivinglifescurveballs]

Real lessons of motherhood

I say things I never thought I would

“Take the plastic bag off of your head,” I said to my seven-year-old son.

 “Why?”

 “Because you can suffocate and die. How many times have I told you not to put plastic bags over your head?”

 “A lot.”

 Are my kids the reason for these ridiculous warning labels? Heavy sigh.

 The weirdest things come out of their mouths too

Dominic-isms at ten-years-old 

“What is shampoo?”

 "Could you pass the Parmesan and ..." stops to read label "Roman cheese".

 “I am going to get my Valentine a box of cigarettes.” He was thinking chocolates, but looking at a stop-smoking billboard.

 Xander-isms at seven-years-old

"Three thousand, million, dillion dollars. That's how much money I want and I also want everything to be free...for our whole family. Then Papaw and Grandma Fran could get everything they want."

"I want a 16-hour delay, but I don't want to miss lunch".

"Cookies aren't protein?"

Grocery success depends on your entourage

When my children were small enough to be contained in the cart for our entire shopping trip I could read labels, compare pricing, succumb to my own impulse buys. But then as they grew they no longer stayed in the cart and grocery shopping turned into a sick game of “don’t touch that,” “please stop running and sliding on your knees down the aisles,” “watch behind you,” and “no, we are not getting chocolate peanut butter dip.”

Now, when I walk into the grocery store, I secretly think may the odds be forever in your favor to my fellow shoppers.

Self-checkout is the worst

If you have children old enough to be outside the cart, self-checkout becomes more of an intense game of simultaneously scanning groceries while keeping them away from the scale with a live audience of all the shoppers impatiently waiting behind you. Why yes, yes I am self-checking an entire cart of groceries because for whatever reason my grocery store has no cashier lanes open.

To add insult to injury, who is the sadistic jerk that thought advertising candy at children’s eye level in the self-checkout lane was smart? Newsflash, it’s not smart, it’s evil. Instead of succumbing to your marketing tactics I am leaving with a crying child and right temple that may very well explode at any moment.

Pick-up or delivered groceries are from heaven

Amazon pantry started it all for me with delivering shelf-stable pantry staples to my door, but then Kroger one-upped Amazon when they offered their click-list service. Now I can order everything I need online and pull up to the store where some wonderful human loads my car up for me. I don’t even need to get out to help or to pay. They bring the iPad to me to swipe and sign. Then I just drive away, can you believe it? It’s like something out of a fairytale. No more self-checkout, no more candy aisle, my kids stay strapped into their seatbelts and we accomplish what we set out to do easy breezy lemon squeezy.

Blissfully enjoy the baby bubble

When I brought Dominic, my first child, home from the hospital I collapsed into tears because I was terrified. The weight of the world, his world, was now on my shoulders and would remain there until he grew into an adult. The magnitude and depth of this responsibility were incredible and I did not think I was capable.

Coupled with the fear was also amazement. Each time I looked at his tiny bird-like legs, his soft blue eyes, his bald wrinkly head I felt pure awe. The movement of his breath was rhythmic, chest up, chest down. Here sat a being, a human that had grown within me, with a beating heart and blinking eyes. It was a miracle, he was (and still is) my miracle. How is this even possible? I would ask myself over and over.

Nothing mattered outside of Dominic. My world revolved around meeting his needs. Rocking him as the soft hairs from his head tickled my neck, breathing in his scent, filled with more love than I ever knew possible. This is the bubble, treasure these moments. You may have other children, but the baby bubble will never be the same.

Parties in the early afternoon suck

I am the oldest grandchild in my family and naturally, I was the first to purchase a house, get married, and to have a baby. My family came to all of these celebrations. As my cousins got older I was also invited to all of their celebrations and I wanted nothing more than to go. Every invitation I received was for one or two-o-clock in the afternoon.

This is right in the middle of nap time.

Naively I went to the first few parties, skipping my son’s nap. It was utter hell. He was whiny, mean, and wild throughout the entire party, but it did not stop there. His crap behavior carried over into the evening right up until bedtime.

That’s when I decided the price was too high. It was just not worth the horror of missing the nap. I was embarrassed and stressed, my hosts probably wondered what kind of demon I was raising and both of us wished I just would have stayed home. So know that I love you, am proud of you, and are with you in spirit.

If you hurt my child I will hunt you down

No one will ever love my child like I do. My love is deep, fierce, and unyielding. There is something incredibly special about a mother’s love for her child. This is impossible to understand until you become a mother.

This is not to dismiss the love of a father or future spouse. Those relationships are just as important however they are different.

William Congreve said, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” I say… nothing. Instead, I quietly stalk my prey like a mother tigress and pounce when the time is right because if you hurt my child you deserve no warning.

Facebook is full of lies

Helpful hint, no one has it all together, everyone has different struggles, some are just better at hiding it than others. We all see her, the beautiful mom who seems to have it all figured out. She posts pictures of outings with smiling, well dressed, clean children. We are happy for her, but begin to wonder if we are as good a mother.

STOP RIGHT THERE!

That photo took one second. ONE. SECOND!

Think back on today. Can you remember one second that was picture perfect? I know you can. The problem is not your mothering. The problem is the question, Am I as good as X?

Parenting is messy, full of self-doubt and we are all learning as we go. Some days I have it all together, but most days I don’t.

Dr.Seuss said it best.

Parent YOUR way, teach lessons to YOUR children that are important to YOU. We are all different, including each one of our children and our differences should be celebrated. It’s YOU your kids love, not that other mom. So go mom like only you can!

Pinterest is full of fairytales

Have you ever tried to recreate something you found on Pinterest? Yeah, did it turn out like the picture? No? Same for me, every time I try.

Comparing your first attempt to someone’s best is like comparing your karate moves to a black belt’s. Yours will probably not be as good, but with practice and patience, I’m willing to bet it could get better.

The moral of the story here is keep it all in perspective and maybe try that new Pinterest thing a few times before debuting it at your next holiday celebration.

Prevention is the key to toddlerhood survival

Put everything out of reach and be aware that everything is climbable. The world is basically a giant jungle gym playground and all things, literally, every single thing goes into their mouths.

Some of my mom friends were determined to teach their toddlers self-control.

Well, if my friends are doing it, maybe I should give it a go.

Every few minutes my toddler would grab something that posed a possible threat and shove it right into his mouth. Up, down, up down, like a little game every time I sat down he would get into something that I would need to take away.

I was way too tired for that.

Instead, I de-cluttered my house and got rid of anything that was not toddler-friendly. Basically, my house was decorated with baby gates, Disney themed plastic toys, and pictures of my kiddos hanging on the walls. All cleaners, self-care items, toxic or messy products were put on the top shelf of closets.

One time I left my shave gel out…

Another time I left the baby powder down…

Danger lurks everywhere

Before I had kids I thought I protected myself from danger pretty well, but now I see the possibility of death in just about every activity.

 “Mom, can I help dad mow the lawn?” Sure, go ahead and flip the mower on yourself and lose a limb.

“Mom, can we go to the zoo today?” Will today be the day one of the tigers gets loose or my kid wanders into a bear enclosure?

People learn through experience, yes I know that. I also appreciate the significance of learning from cause and effect. As long as there is no emergent danger (life or limb) I release the boys from my cocoon of safety so that they may gain the necessary experience.

I am also the mom frantically waving my children and husband closer when they have floated too far from the beach thinking of sharks, jellyfish, muscle cramps, undertow, etc. It’s all about balance, right? I balance irrational fear with measured risk taking like any good mom.

You are all your kids need

Overthinking is one of my best and worst character traits. I love to think about everything not in any kind of skilled way but just meander through my own messy mind. It’s interesting what floats around in there, the imagined possible outcomes to different scenarios (see above, danger lurks everywhere), the fascination of the simplest joys (enjoy the baby bubble), the ease at which self-doubt creeps in (facebook is full of lies). Do you know what I have learned from all that analyzing?

All my boys really want and need is my undivided attention. Still, at seven and ten-years-old they want to be near me, to hug me, to wrap up in a blanket with me in the evenings while we watch Animal Planet or Nat Geo.

Toys, trips, trinkets are all just fluff. It’s me they want. And that works out pretty great because they are all I have ever wanted. So let’s go mom the only way we know how, in our own special, unique way.

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