#the setting is that important turns out
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how do I write this dark story that largely involves murder and romance and students at a New England prep school without it being classified as dark academia by everyone who comes across it hallpppp
#i do not have a half poc cast just for cie to be called THAT 😂#just thoughts#i am FINALLY BACK ON MY MEDS WOOOO#the like obsessive circular thinking and brainstorming ive been in for months is finally stopping#i think I've just been doing too much medical stuff and it's worn my brain and psyche out#anyway I've been working on a proper map again#this time with like... actual physical mapmaking materials 😅#the setting is that important turns out#and ill also be making mini maps for certain neighborhoods and the school itself for like...#'free time' user interface at certain points in the narrative#anyway back to waiting an hour for SNAP to pick up the phone#lol friendly reminder that i am poor
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FNAF stickers for next month,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#michael afton#vanessa shelly#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#mike schmidt#fnaf sister location#security breach#hand unit#patreon#stickers#sticker club#become small idiots#I wanted to show the stickers themselves!!#cause I think they came out really nice#the first set of stickers for November has the security guard crew!#the guys I draw a lot here#the mikes and Vanessas!#So we have Mike Vanessa Michael and Vanny#plus all one item that belongs to them or are important to them#AGAIN so happy how these turned out!!#I hope yall can get them next month on my patreon 💜
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❗❗Official Class Swap Sorcerer!Kristen Post Alert❗❗ you can: look at her
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#sorcerer!kristen is uh. Not Home Anymore! she's been couch surfing along with jawbones before freshman year#I think this kinda falls into a slight teen-witch-esque approach which I do like#since I've been pulling from like. matilda and pippi longstocking for these designs. the Exceptional Little Girls kinda genre#it does make her look younger than her peers which I do like. I feel like a big part of sorcerer!kristen's deal is that she's never#taken seriously. frequently treated like she doesn't know what's good for her. fellow adhd havers make some noiseee#but! upon review I feel like there's also a kinda ms. frizzle turn to her design? which like. awesome thats the lesbianism nailed babeyy#the fuckoff giant thermos as arcane focus is a homage to pete conlan but also crucially#if you swing that thing by the cord I think you can take off someone's head easy. I think that's the important thing#her cargo shorts are not of holding but functionally Everything is in there. scrunchies pencils spare gold chapsticks paperclips multitools#tbh I personally love the progression in her design lol she starts out like ''oh this young girl is a bit unkempt'' and#becomes ''oh this person is insane'' by junior year which is really awesome imo. I love that#its just fig left! I mean her freshman year design is pretty much set for me. I just need to figure out the rest#gorgug is kinda aerith in junior year I wonder if I can softly turn fig tifa-ward lol... ooh I have ideas now. this is gonna be fun#but for now. enjoy evening! may we all make like lizard and enjoy sun
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Something something dry firing a bow (pulling back the string and loosing without an arrow nocked) is bad for its structural integrity (as the energy that would go into propelling an arrow instead goes into the bow itself.) Link does this when out of arrows in botw/totk. Notably though, in botw/totk, dry firing doesn't cause damage to the bow, whereas irl it's something that absolutely would.
Maybe there's something here for fics? I feel like Wild would know better though 'xD but dry firing is something that could result in a bow exploding in your hands like what's seen in botw/totk when they break.
#rays random ramblings#rambles and things noted by a summer camp counselor#I myself am not archery certified but I've heard the spiel given to the kids a million times#and I help the kids when they are shooting (mostly with posture)#I've also done archery as a camper and staff in the same setting#number one rule is: people are not targets#and then to use listening eyes and ears and walking feet#but another important point brought up when teaching about the bow and archery is to not dry fire#because it's not good for the bow and can cause fractures in the limbs or the string to snap#which can in turn cause harm to whoever is using the bow#anyways it stands out to me in botw/totk because it's something I've been taught not to do
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One of the slightly frustrating things about the entire Tech situation is that if Tech comes back, “Plan 99” would immediately skyrocket into being one of my top ten favorite episodes. I thought it was an incredible episode when if first aired, and I still think that now, but thinking that is entirely conditional on it being a fakeout—not a death that gets reversed later, but a fakeout specifically. It doesn’t read as a death to me. As a departure and a separation, sure, but not as a death. And if a temporary separation is what it is then, well, I think it’s pretty remarkable as both a fakeout and an episode.
But only if that’s what it is. That I’m none too keen on this particular character dying and his death being treated like that aside, and not to be a broken record, but it doesn’t really work as a main character death. At all. As a main character death it’s staggeringly bad, and bad in a unique way that never gets better or less weird as we move through season three.
So even though I’m basically ride or die on the Tech Lives train at this point, Tech isn’t back yet, so I can’t really like “Plan 99.” But I don’t hate it yet, either. It’s sort of floating off in this nether space until I know one way or another for sure what I think of it. And that’s frustrating because I’d like do be able to do one or the other.
#tangentially tech lives#I would actually like to like this episode so#I’d like it to be deeply moving rather than just depressing AF#reason 20000 tech should come back#and to clarify part of the reason I would end up coming back around to really liking plan 99 if Tech comes back#is because I would see it as coming around to subvert a few tropes#subverting the genuinely harmful bury your disabled tropes#and subverting the expectation that the best thing a clone can do is die for his people#we just went through and entire season where what the batch NEEDED was Tech#not just get shit done but to#you know#heal and be whole#Omega and Hunter are okay but the group ends the series still broken BECAUSE Tech’s not there#so how’s about we let this guy live for his people instead#make him coming back have more impact than ‘dying’ did#(not hard to do since that had little to no narrative impact in the first place)#and make living the most important choice he could make#I would love plan 99 if it turns out it was setting something like that up#right now though it remains in the ‘I dunno’ void
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Yoink.
Ashe hasn't shown up in the rp yet but I think it'd be really funny if this is how they met.
#my art#fire emblem#tes#fe16#fire emblem three houses#ashe duran#sylvain jose gautier#sylvain works for dimitri as a fort guard and spends most of his freetime with glenn#(or out gallivanting with the keep's small population of women but they know his tricks by now)#ashe doesn't have a super established day-to-day life yet#but he's a dunmer raised by khajiit#by the books he does light mercenary work for a living but he also has a propensity for petty theft. mostly on behalf of his caravan#who affectionately refer to him as 'sugarswipe' because he likes to nick little sweets and baked goods for them#i've talked about him a little bit before but it's been a YEAR#anyway as it turns out sylvain's canon armour is VERY similar to skyrim's Steel Plate Armour#so that's primarily what i based his outfit off of.#i let him keep the red accents but i excluded the teal bc as far as i know his family isn't all that important in this setting...?#and the fraldariuses ARE so their teal seems like a stand-out sort of thing to me#so i didn't want to put it on him also LMFAO#it's okay tho he can just steal glenn's cape#also YES the background is a screenshot of whiterun. i didn't feel like inventing faerghus architecture but i didn't want it to be blank
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sometimes I'm so glad I read aftg in high school, before I got into any serious relationship. because it helped me with 2 major things. 1 is realizing that I'm also a person with weird a relationship to physical touch, and 2 was that I can actually set boundaries around them
it may be silly to say that andrew minyard of all characters was a good influence on me, but seeing someone put down concrete boundaries around touch, enforce them, and determine who you can and can't trust based on who respects them was so so helpful for me
and if I hadn't read that book (which led me to others that also helped with this) idk how unhappy I might have ended up in relationships. rn I'm in the most loving and healing relationship I've ever been in, where every boundary is respected without question
and I have andrew to thank for that ig (and nora)
#its funny bc i always thought i was neil#but ig im not#the older i get the more i realize im andrew#altho i do need someone to humanize me. so im a little like neil#aftg#all for the game#nora sakavic#anyways.#i love my girlfriend so so much#and it turns out most of my boundaries arent as strict as they used to be#but learning how to set them in the first place was the most important step#mine#personal#ok to rb. i guess if anyone wants to ??
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Fun fact: Re:Kinder was released by Parun in July 17th, 2010. Which means the July 17th of the newly arrived year of 2025 would be it's 15th anniversary! Now you know, let that knowledge stay with you until then :3
#re:kinder#parun#not art#i felt it was important to mention its a significant milestone after all#so leaving this out there months in advance so everyone knows 🔥🔥 celebrate parun's work🔥🔥🔥#another work of his that is hitting a notable milestone is “before you forget” which was uploaded in 2005#but aside from the release year i haven't been able to dig up any other info on it^^“ and my computer cant run it#unfortunately my computer doesnt feel like letting me run any of the files from the internet archive of his works </3#got the required installments for rpg maker stuff to run and the japanese local settings set up but my computer stays stubborn#so id be very happy to hear what that work is about!!! ^^ it is turning 20 after all#in general id really like to know about the works i havent been able to dig into yet#do let me know gamers
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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability
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Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.
I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.
Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives.
So, without further ado... let’s get into this!
Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!
Disability: some brief (important) historical context
It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.
For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing.
I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.
Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:
“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”
— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126
This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.
SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.
Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.
The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?
Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters
Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!
Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater.
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The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.
Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.
What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:
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I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.
You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.
I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:
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Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone.
This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.
Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):
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Anyways, onto the next point:
Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?
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So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.
I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.
The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.
For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society.
This is his means of escape from drowning.
However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:
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The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier.
There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention.
Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?
Oh, right.
Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.
That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:
The Necklace
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So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).
I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:
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Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.
But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.
There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.
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Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.
His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.
Speaking of that...
So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award
This fucking fish tank.
Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.
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From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.
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For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.
These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.
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Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.
They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.
For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8f1d4ce604c1046a9f2c0e4e399ea967/b4452ec5fd074c6a-25/s540x810/5e458dc26c3d387dc9ac40cc16e9464fa7c25b93.jpg)
This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.
How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.
There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:
Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”
Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.
So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/363b23d02507c3a0c2c555cdd97a2552/b4452ec5fd074c6a-5b/s540x810/c20e5edb102bce9f016c77e34ee3a6b22d8845b1.jpg)
I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?
(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)
So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e114ab1349b63ef0851452906f558c81/b4452ec5fd074c6a-1a/s540x810/d4a81e07fd8d47d034e153ed49a5c720f70de217.jpg)
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This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.
We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/90d1b7ac7cc1e7f7899ccccc832a846d/b4452ec5fd074c6a-56/s540x810/cdc2df7baea154968a152f11f82cd7e0aef5348d.jpg)
I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...
He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.
Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?
That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.
One Last Observation
I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.
His clothing here:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f67974c1d61f1eba07c4f4071eb3bb4d/b4452ec5fd074c6a-55/s540x810/57d3264ed7e56541368c40587dfc29aa312d957e.jpg)
Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.
But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.
This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.
As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.
The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.
I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.
#milgram#haruka sakurai#analysis#weakness#all-knowing and all-agony#symbolism#disability#*drops this onto the fandom like a ton of bricks* hi i'm new here pleasure to meet u#oh man I finally finished it... this is a very (and I mean a VERY) long post asdfghjkl#I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though! I got most of the things I wanted to say and point out down#believe it or not there was actually MORE I could've said but I think tumblr may have crashed on me if I did that lmao#particularly to do with Weakness as I focused more on AK&AA here. but anyways#I love how morally grey everyone is in this series! It makes for some really fun analysis!#it's so so nice seeing a disabled character in such a position too and not just 'is a cinnamon roll' or 'the devil reincarnate' yknow#I debated leaving in the real-world history stuff but I think it sets the tone of my analysis pretty well and shows the importance of--#--haruka's disability not as a justification of his actions but as a vital backdrop to his environment and struggles
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i read that fanfic and i really don't know how i feel about it.
like on one hand it's beautiful writing, on the other hand it's iffy. kids, even adult kids, should not be expected to be anything for their parents. there are still power dynamics at play and the parent should find a peer to talk to if they're feeling unwell. they shouldn't have to tiptoe around their parent's feelings, they shouldn't have to do anything for them. i love bruce but i will always side with his kids over him, as should everyone else. he chose to adopt these kids, the kids didn't choose to be adopted by him. steph was absolutely correct and should have left with jason and damian. i have more thoughts but this is the gist of it
I disagree. Its fine you feel this way, but i do disagree and i think we may have even read two different fics. Im answering this ask so you know im not ignoring you, but if were being honest im not interested in having this discussion, nor do i think it can be a productive discussion since we are clearly approaching this from different directions and with different underlying assumptions. Im happy you felt comfortable coming here with your opinion, but understand that doesnt mean i owe you a further conversation. And please, im begging, DO NOT take this to the author if you cant be polite
Also im going to delete this at some point. I hope you see it first but idk who you are ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Actually wait i do have one point i disagree with that i think is neutral: adult children may not owe their parents special respect or consideration but they owe them the same basic respect or consideration they owe every other person they interact with. Its not “tiptoeing around their feelings” its actually just “treating them like full human beings that have feelings outside of being their parent”.
#asks#important context for this: everyone in this fic is of legal age and most have jobs or are in college#the only child is damian#i delete asks if i find myself thinking about them too long (negative) so#oh so thats what set me off. i see.#hey anon this ask makes you sound like you think parents are robots who should just turn off when their kids arent around#are you aware of that?#couldn’t figure out what about this made every nerve go off but i found it
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Cards 👏 cards 👏 cards 👏 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Damned#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#You may remember my DAX card - cough - and also my Stanley card! Also cough huh actually lol#Stanley's looked much more like this tho#Which would be because they're all part of the same printed set!#I actually have another like dozen-ish of these#Might show 'em off in the end-of-year roundup 👀 But for now it's just these guys! The sillies!#In very legible ink lol - I can read it and they're my notes so that's the important bit#I think Thrax's last name would actually be ''Roja'' tho so that's on me#Also why is Drix called Drixenol when his full first name is Drixobenzometaphendramine - where's the L come from#I've been Jonesing - pun intended - to fill out Ozzy's ''personality'' section for aaaggesss#I keep trying to pick at a scene with him and it's just not turning out! Need an easy-overview of his traits and features lol#I did actually have a new idea after making these so I think I was onto something lol#He has a very fun character type ♪ He's oddly socially aware for how annoying he can be! He does it on purpose!!#Drix is the exact opposite so they're great contrasts to each other hehe <3 Drix Tries to be helpful and fumbles it but he's so earnest!#Also finally got me decided on their room placements - so much easier to coordinate them at Night with that square#They don't have roommates Yet but based on who was inhabiting which rooms originally....o3o It's an idea isn't it hmmm#I went and read Thrax's description on one of his wiki pages as well and he was described as ''Cold'' and I was like uhm???#Like yes he does kill in cold-blood - he's pretty unflinching and indiscriminate with what and who he aims his fire power at#But with his hot-headed attitude and overall heat aesthetic I have a difficult time calling him Cold exactly - cool for sure! Haha#But yeah I dunno about that - he's also a nerd which I find very fun haha sets up a powerpoint presentation for his thugs#And just ends up doing the main bit himself anyway! He just likes to talk about his plans hehehe#It really is double-fun to have them all from different points in their timelines ahh ♪ Who and what they know so fun to play in#The secret-keeping and surprises are my favourite part! Mismatch and uncertainty! Love that#I also had a lot of fun with their background splashes :) Ozzy gets blue cells - Drix gets his pills and some fizzles#And Thrax's cell-destroying fire and flames were stylized so cool! Also has a bit of a pollen look as well! I enjoy
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alright so now that we’ve gotten some actual crumbs, it feels like it’s a good time to lay out my prediction for what da4 is going to look like. writing this in a letter and mailing it to myself
we are part of an underground organization formed from the ruins of the inquisition to stop solas from ending the world
meanwhile the wardens have been researching the blight/the location of the archdemons and discover some secret about the location of the black city/what is actually contained in it
we’re supposed to be shocked at the reveal that the evanuris are trapped in the black city and the maker doesn’t exist
the ancient elves were in control of some crazy mutating technology (like in hormak) and that was the original source of the darkspawn. the whole thing about them being from the deep roads and a dwarf concern was actually just a red herring, they’re just underground because they’re powered by lyrium and this has ALSO been an elf thing the whole time :)
anyway, now we need to Double Make Sure the veil stays up because the evanuris have something even worse cooking up in the black city and we need to prevent them from unleashing a super blight and destroying all life, and our job is to convince solas to give up, not because we disagree with his plan but because his actions will have unintended consequences. even if he doesn’t care about everyone else and wants to rebuild the world, he won’t even be able to do THAT because the super blight will kill elves too. so although we WERE enemies we will have to band together to defeat the greater threat etc. it will be optional to recruit him as an ally/advisor, or you can just fight him directly and take control of his forces
we will have to cross into the fade AGAIN and storm the black city directly to put a stop to whatever’s going on in there
#i feel fairly confident about this but i hope i’m wrong honestly.#i’m a little disappointed that it’s probably going to turn out to be ‘elves are the most important people and also the cause of everything#and their lore is the Correct one’#i hope to god that they give you the option to fight him and don’t just force you to make nice for no reason lol#ESPECIALLY if this is a new protagonist with no history with him#it’s pretty much the same formula as inquisition and origins. two-step problem where the thing we initially set out to fix turns out to be#the least of our problems and we’ll need to put aside our differences for the greater good#it will probably also come out that the tevinter gods are also an elf thing. like how flemythal can turn into a dragon#and then the archdemons were the original hormak style experiment. or something#and we won’t have an explanation for the maker bc that’s just humans being silly. but see everything has a neat scientific explanation :)#or maybe the maker is like. elgarnan in disguise lmal#i am perhaps being a little ungenerous but also. i feeel in my gut that this is what they’re planning#mine#dragon age#da4#ghilannain feels like a possible candidate bc of the lore abt how she created halla. but there was that trailer with a mans voice#so it will probably be elgarnan because he’s the head of the pantheon especially now that mythal is gone#GOD i hope that comes up#they’re pulling so much from trespasser. a dlc that wasn’t even the main game and lots of people may not have played#they’d better reference the stinger ending of the actual game and give some resolution to that#maybe it’s going to be like. solas’s plan to take care of the evanuris when the veil comes down is to just absorb them#but we need to convince him that they’ve had time to set other contingencies up so even that won’t stop whatever they’ve started
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(since i sense you may be having an atticus finch moment rn) is go set a watchman "canon" to you? i always liked tkam but i never read gsaw (even though someone gave it to me when it came out) because i got a weird feeling about the circumstances of it being published among other things. never talked to anybody about it so figured i'd ask a certified tkam enjoyer
i am having Such an atticus finch moment that i have three fics in the works for him
ohhh boy so hear me out.
warning: i'm rereading tkam as we speak and its been a while since ive read gsaw
in my own personal head-interpretation of to kill a mockingbird, in which the irl reality of its publication is disregarded, gsaw is canon in the sense that it's the alternate universe of to kill a mockingbird, with the point of divergence being the tom robinson trial.
tom robinson is found guilty: atticus experiences Character Growth and becomes and remains the folk hero Defender of Rights and dilf we know today
tom robinson is not found guilty [or at least, not found guilty via the defense atticus uses in gsaw]: atticus basically remains on the natural course he was in the beginning of tkam to bigotry and Racism TM
tldr: gsaw, on its own, is not a good book, and nor is it fully canon, but it does serve as great contextualization to the person that atticus is in tkam and who atticus could have been.
at the beginning of the book and throughout the trial, atticus finch is clearly a very White Moderate in our Modern Terms, in the sense that he might disapprove of the racism exhibited by the citizens of maycomb, but he also is more than content to not do anything about it. his worldview is essentially: "man it sure sucks that my neighbors are prejudiced and more than willing to sentence an innocent man to death, and but i guess i'll tolerate it and spend time around them because they're good people at heart [to other white people]." you know how one of the most memorable lessons atticus teaches to scout is to have empathy for others? my argument is that atticus's practicing of that is what makes him to give too much leeway to the bigoted members of the community around him.
we see this with ike finch, maycomb's "sole surviving confederate veteran" and stonewall jackson fetishist. he makes his appearance early on in the book, prior to the robinson case even being introduced. according to scout, he comes by at least once a year to "rehash the war" with atticus. while i can assume this means that ike is representing the confederacy and atticus the union in this conversation, considering that in the immediate paragraph after, atticus states "this time we aren't fighting the yankees, we're fighting our friends. but remember this, no matter how bitter things get, they're still our friends and this is still our home." it implies that in this american civil war replay, either both of them are identifying with the confederacy, or ike is and atticus is more than okay to go along with it. and in addition, atticus's apparent determination to remain on good terms with the people of maycomb no matter how bitter it got adds questions to just what he would have considered bitter enough for the people of maycomb to no longer remain his friends. if the mob at the scene at the jailhouse actually managed to lynch tom robinson, which they were probably going to do, until scout saved the day, would that have been "bitter enough" for atticus to reconsider being friends with murderers?
actually the fact that he adds in 'and this is still our home' makes me think he was planning to leave maycomb entirely if that scenerio actually happened but i digress
and then you get to ms. dubose, who serves as another aspect to how atticus views the racism of his town. when ms. dubose dies, he calls her the most bravest person he'd ever known, for having the courage to die clean of her morphine addiction, and also a "great lady". which, i understand, in part, is because she Just Died and he's talking to Jem and Scout who are children, but the way that atticus talks about it makes you feel as though he's implying that her courage serves as either recompense or excuse for a. the racism and b. the whole thing where she essentially verbally harassed jem and scout whenever they came by for the horrid sin of walking where she could see them.
of course there's also maycomb trial in general. atticus obviously knows that he cant win-- the famous 'just because you're licked doesn't mean you can give up' quote-- because he understands the prejudice of the town. but i believe that behind the quote, atticus still had faith in the judicial process, just not in the people who were in charge of it in maycomb. its part of the reason for his appeal-- to get robinson to a higher court where the people there could be more open-minded.
so in essence, atticus at the turning point of his story [ the trial ], is someone who's
1. overly lenient and sympathetic view of his maycomb neighbors allows him to excuse much of the harmful rhetoric and actions they perpetrate
2. considers racism to be, while Bad, a certain type of bad that is ultimately forgivable/excusable. i think there's also evidence in tkam that he basically also thinks the same thing for other forms of bigotry but i'm not going to look for them.
3. has trust in the judicial system
so from there, we have the tom robinson trial.
i like to think that what acting as tom robinson's defense attorney did for atticus was that it forced him to actually reckon with the racism of maycomb as directed towards an actual human being rather than a Nebulous Construct. when tom robinson got declared guilty despite being innocent, it showed him the actual harmful effects of what the people of maycomb believed, on an actual human being, who was subsequently presumably murdered via 17 gunshot wounds. it showed the failures of a system that allowed for tom robinson to be murdered and sentenced for a crime he didn't commit in the first place.
in gsaw, without tom robinson being convicted, i don't think that lesson would have hit so hard. to gsaw!atticus, robinson being declared not guilty is proof that the racism of maycomb is ultimately Not That Harmful, proof that the system ultimately Works As It Should, and it allows him to sink deeper into interactions with more extreme racist individuals, and eventually become the verison of atticus we see in gsaw.
in addition, gsaw!atticus's defense for tom robinson that gets him acquitted is that the robinson's presumed rape of mayella was consensual, whereas tkam!atticus reveals that the rape didn't happen between robinson and mayella in the first place (although, you know.) which implies a contrast between gsaw!atticus and tkam!atticus where tkam!atticus was focused on exonerating robinson's public image in order to then acquit robinson, but gsaw!atticus was focused on acquitting robinson head on, even if it meant attacking mayella instead.
what this would mean is that gsaw!atticus might not even have had all that much of an interaction with tom robinson, and therefore wasn't able to do that whole tkam-trademark Understanding and Seeing Him As A Person, thereby Removing his past Blinders to Injustice TM TM TM.
and this leads to the changes in atticus from tkam and gsaw. they're still the same person, but with a different turning point.
#thank u for asking!!!#atticus finch#to kill a mockingbird#go set a watchman#fic purge#long post#what if the trial turned out differently is such a potentially insanely juicy concept i need to rip into it#i understand why it isnt for very important Reasons relating to the Real World#but WOW#anyawys this is my reading and i am not a very Big tkam-er#more knowledgable tkam enjoyers please feel free to add on or correct anything
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My beloved best friend of several years, who bought me Minecraft the winter before COVID after I mentioned I hadn’t played since before there were horses, got severely motion sick when playing minecraft for too long.
We were both aware of this, and took breaks or shortened our play sessions accordingly.
However, a few days ago, at the end of one of those sessions when my friend wasn’t feeling well, we traveled through a Nether portal.
“Have you turned off your motion effects? And the camera bobbing?”
My beloved friend, who has been playing this game more consistently for many more years than me, did not know what those were. We navigate to my friend’s accessibility settings and toggle off portal motion effects and camera bobbing.
Lo and behold minecraft is playable for my friend again. Check accessibility settings for every game you play and see what options you have. Do not suffer if you can help it 👍
#ra speaks#personal#minecraft#sorry just a silly little story I thought I’d share bc it made me smile when I remembered it just now#I’ve been playing without camera bobbing since I got the game bc I too get v motion sick from it#tbh I just??? assumed she already had them toggled off and that it was still pretty bad for her????#but apparently not aldjehsjjabejsn#this is why game accessibility is soooo important but also good idea to check accessibility settings EVEN IF you don’t think you’ll need em#I don’t have photosensitivity but my mom does so I turn off flashing lights out of habit#and sometimes you see something like directional audio subtitles? sure. and it makes the game 100x more enjoyable#even if I could play without it.
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/357bb66c3ee747be3fc655ccd564033f/c628dd149a7d1db9-67/s540x810/62191f3a06bc7e75f88444cbfefb08e5f17f0b24.jpg)
Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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Behind every great warrior woman is another woman who is choosing kindness. For now.
#this is about io & laezel#ive been thinking about their dynamic esp since i plan on having them go do the whole revolution thing#also trying to workshop their tag/title/ship name#'calloused hands heavy hearts' is nice but im not sure it quite fits?#silver is a throughline b/c of the silver swords and eilistraee#some of the taglines have clicked immediately and some of them are. not doing that#but ive been thinking about these two w/in the healer x warrior framework#and how their backgrounds affect that#io *knows* how to fight. they're always ready for that possibility (eventuality really) since. you know.#holy war anti-lolth rebellion etc etc#but they were *exclusively* a healer pre-game. they hadn't even really left the baldur's gate area#and also. the importance of both warriors *and* healers during revolutions and rebellions#literally and figuratively#those on the front lines will run out of steam quickly without people supporting & sustaining them#something something kindness is not softness. softness is not weakness. weakness is not a moral wrong#something something a hard stone will grind itself to dust without something to cushion it#both io & lae'zel have calloused hands if for different reasons#one set of skills is not more important than the other. they compliment each other even#'new growth'? maybe? you can't grow a garden w/o both pulling up weeds and carefully tending to it#idk if this makes sense but. i am turning them around in my head#sticking them under a microscope#bg3#bg3 tav#my post#jay rambles#io dein#(im having trouble with their epithet too but that's a ramble for another time)#woman* (nb woman. she's trans femme and her gender shifts around a bit. 'woman' is the cliffnotes version)
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