#the role they have lends them very well to more painful asks like these

[moonmacabre01]

with any characters you want!! only one request: absolutely FUCKING DEVASTATE ME

Oh boy, oh boy . . .

betrayal- Early in it's adulthood, Perihelion had a "friend" I have yet to name. The only one they really had. Eventually it showed him the blueprints for a project, one it had spent ages working on. They talked about how dearly it wanted to build the project, and the hope that he would be beside them when it was completed.

The 'friend' stole the blueprints in the night, and sold them to some human company. Peri was heartbroken when it found out -that the first friend it EVER truly had would sell off it's dream- and left that place never to return. This is what caused the trust issues it has when it meets Galacta and the others . . .

desire- More than anything, Taurus wants to be a hero, to have that level of adoration- and yes, love. Some part of his heart is still a child with his head full of stories and a yearning to be seen, and I guess you could say that piece of him is the 'root' of this desire. He's very closed off about this, and hasn't told anyone about it except a childhood friend he hasn't seen since he left his planet. He doesn't share his hopes easily, likely due to his rough relationship with his mother . . . 😓

As to what he'd do to fulfill this desire, well . . . there's a reason he fights so recklessly and with so little care for his wellbeing. Any harm that might come to him would be worth it, in his eyes.

ghost- In some ways, Rosentine is still haunted by her mother's "ghost", or more accurately how revered and admired Queen Laurel was, and how she feels she needs to live up to that. This is mostly an remainder of her late princesshood and early reign that still nags at her from time to time, but she's gotten better at living with it. You could say it's a fading ghost, something to move on from as she's slowly doing. Maybe this got a bit off track . . .

guilt- Wellll, my Heroes of Yore- Perihelion, Phoenix Knight, and Brocade- all share one particular guilt, over the exact event you might suspect. They all, in their own way, hold themself responsible for GK's imprisonment outside of time.

Peri beats itself up for getting too lax and trusting with the Mage Council*, Brocade wishes she had been more insistent on going to Ripplestar to heal instead of staying at the cathedral the fateful event occurred in, and Phoenix . . . honestly, 'guilt' isn't really the word for how he ever feels in the events post-Sealing of The Greatest Warrior. Maybe 'heartbroken' would be more accurate, or 'vengeful'. lol

*the Mage Council was basically an group of supreme, greatly experienced and accomplished mages that held a great deal of power in the time of the Ancients. More or less the leaders of the magic faction. In a different timeline, Hyness probably joined their ranks ^^

monster- from some views, Phoenix is definitely monstrous, especially compared to the average member of his species. A shockingly strong inborn fire magic, wings and tail never seen before or since, goddamn huge by standards of the species, and an oddly calm and relaxed-yet feral nature. To say nothing of the butterflies that tend to follow him, you know what they say about butterflies.

Phoenix himself is not at all aware of how strange he is, and probably wouldn't care if he was. He's happy with himself, why should he worry about people he doesn't know or their thoughts?

[saintsenara]

Have you done Snape/Sirius for the ship asks yet?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

and what better occasion than sirius' birthday to give @ashesandhackles something she's been waiting for for well over a year...

so here we are then...

the snack manifesto

besides the ship name, the reason this ship slaps is for the absolutely classic reason that it's smashing a narrative mirror pairing together.

snape and sirius are obviously incredibly similar personality wise - they're both arrogant, theatrical, incredibly clever, creative, capable of great cruelty, stubborn, loyal, possessed of dry senses of humour, from difficult family backgrounds, and so on - and their differences - such as their looks, class, or wealth - are polar rather than divergent.

but they also serve identical narrative purposes. each functions as the guide who leads harry through the character arc which begins in prisoner of azkaban and concludes in deathly hallows, in which he sheds his childish, black-and-white view of his parents and comes to regard them as real, flawed, and complex people.

sirius takes him up to the end of order of the phoenix [and is then immediately killed, his narrative role complete], when harry's realisation that james was a bully stops his earlier hero-worship of his father and allows him to approach him as a whole person.

[which is important, since we then see in half-blood prince that voldemort's inability to do this - and his inability, therefore, to cope with the disappointment of discovering the elaborate fictional version of tom riddle sr. he'd created in his head wasn't what the real one was like - is why the text understands harry as superior to him.]

snape - through the proxies of slughorn, the discipline of potions, his textbook, his patronus, and his memories - takes harry through half-blood prince and deathly hallows, as harry starts to think more deeply about lily [who spends the earlier books secondary in importance to james in his mind] and to eventually learn that she and her sacrifice are the keys to the entire mystery.

snape and sirius are the figures who assist in this arc because each of their lives are defined by their relationship with and love for one half of james and lily as a pairing. their mirrored relationships with harry are similarly driven by their mirrored relationships with his parents.

and, most importantly, so is their relationship with each other. they hate each other on sight because snape blames sirius for james noticing lily [thus drawing her attention away from him] and sirius blames snape for the same thing [thus drawing james' attention away from him] and their constant mutual antagonism is the most interesting snape-versus-one-of-the-marauders dynamic because of the equality this lends. snape likes antagonising sirius - even though he thinks sirius tried to murder him! - whereas he is straightforwardly afraid of lupin and feels inferior to and resentful of james, because he must sense - however subconsciously - that sirius is his emotional equal: someone else struggling against the fact that the person he loves doesn't love him with the same intensity.

the mutual spark this creates is hot enough for an enemies-to-lovers conflagration for the ages even while they're at school. but it gets so much better once we're in the canon timeline, since sirius and snape's adult characterisation is entirely driven by their mirrored approaches to guilt and grief.

both of them indirectly trigger the death of the person they love - snape via reporting the prophecy, sirius via insisting on the secret keeper swap - and neither accepts that his actions were, in fact, indirect.

hollowed out by this feeling, both of them decide to punish themselves in an effort - one which they both clearly consider near-futile - to atone. both of them do this by subjecting themselves to the pain and humiliation of imprisonment and being thought a criminal - sirius by refusing to profess his innocence at any point before 1993; snape by staying at hogwarts and insisting that dumbledore keeps his true motivations concealed, allowing him to be thought of as an unreformed death eater - until they have a shot at the only thing they each think will redeem them in james and lily's eyes - murdering wormtail, for sirius, and murdering voldemort, for snape.

[after all, why does dumbledore say to harry at king's cross that his aim was for snape to control the elder wand if he wasn’t hoping he'd use it to give the dark lord his death blow? it's just a shame the dream-team of draco malfoy and nagini got there first...]

and this mirrored grief provides such a good point of narrative tension between them, which can so easily grow into something romantic.

because you have, at first, the fact that each can use the other's grief to wound - snape can scream at sirius about how stupid the secret keeper plan was; sirius can scream at snape about what a cunt he was to report the prophecy to voldemort - and to soothe - if snape blames sirius for lily's death, he can pretend that reporting the prophecy was less integral to it than it was; if sirius blames snape for james', he can pretend that insisting wormtail was the secret keeper was less integral to it than it was.

but this can then grow into a recognition of both their mutual culpability - the secret keeper swap only happened because of the prophecy; the prophecy could only be acted upon because of the secret keeper swap - and their mutual lack of it - neither actually knew that what they were doing would doom james and lily, and voldemort is the person who is actually to blame for their deaths.

and this can grow into each of them offering the other the forgiveness he craves, but can't give to himself.

and so, they're the best of the series' mirror pairings for writing love which is totally, utterly equal.

for example, harry and voldemort - who are the series' main narrative mirrors - don't have the mutual weight of guilt driving their relationship. writing them as a consensual romantic pairing requires dealing with the concept of forgiveness, absolutely - but harry is the only person who actually needs to do the forgiving; he hasn't done anything to voldemort which is an equivalent to voldemort killing his parents. similarly, while the grief of their orphanhood and the way it shapes them is one of their main mirror traits, this grief doesn't have equal causes - voldemort's mother died in childbirth; his father, and both of harry's parents, died because voldemort murdered them.

with snape and sirius - in contrast - there is none of this imbalance. they interact with each other - whether they're holding their wands to each other's throats or cuddling on the sofa [or, let's be real, both] - as equals [even though sirius attempts to introduce an element of inequality into many of their canon interactions by alluding to their divergent social classes].

which is to say, there's a respect behind the loathing which allows the loathing to be transformed with very little work into love.

[rainbowoasis]

But it’s Over Now, Go On and Take a Bow

4.2 Update Spoilers!!!

She’s tired, so so tired. She wishes she could turn her brain off, wishes she could sink into Fontaine’s waters for eternity. Her knees shake and her arms are jelly as she shoves everything she owns into a suit case. Half the items end up scattered on the floor around the suitcase, and she sighs as she delegates more concentration to getting them inside. 

Reach, grab, lift, drop in suitcase.

She has to walk herself through what to do because her body doesn’t want to listen. Her joints are locking up. Her legs and arms are tingling. She is so tired, and she’s not even sure that she’s allowed to be tired.

Reach, grab, lift, drop in suitcase.

Everyone is alive. The prophecy had not come to fruition after all. She can’t be more relieved than she is now, so then why does everything hurt? Faking the roll of an archon for half a millennia, refusing to let anyone into her facade, pretending that everything was under control when Fontainian lives were slipping through her fingers, sobbing on stage and desperately clawing for her people’s approval, hasn’t it all been worth it? Why must it still hurt? Tears leak past her lashes, trailing down her cheeks. Her chest snags with a hiccup, and another, and another. It’s worth it. It’s worth it. It has all been worth it! Never mind that she sacrificed her humanity, her soul. Never mind that no one will acknowledge her pain and thank her for her contribution. Her nation is safe and that’s … she sniffles … that’s all that matters right? Right? The resounding click of approaching heels echos throughout the opera house. Furina scrapes at her face in a hurry, sifting her mind for a reason to excuse the tear stains.

“Lady Furina,” Neuvillette appears in her room, as austere and imposing as ever. Furina owes a lot to him. She had tried to transform him into a pillar she could lean on without disclosing her true identity. It had only kind of worked, but he still shouldered the burden of a nation’s cruel expectations for her nonetheless.

“Ah, Iudex Neuvillette,” Furina offers a mighty greeting, flourishing her wrist. “You’ve come at a good time. I’d like to announce my resignation from the position of hydro archon. I hope you understand.”

“But of course,” says Neuvillette, “Had you not decided to leave I would have fired you myself.”

“What?” she squeaks. Then clears her throat and asserts, “Pardon me, but what ever gives you the right to presume you’d relieve me of my position?” Oh, Celestia and all its principles, she’s pulling on her facade despite the soreness in her bones. She has been acting for so long, the role might as well be designed on her very spirit.

Neuvillette smiles, a soft, pitying tilt of the mouth and a lowering of his gaze that makes it appear as though he’s mourning and trying to be strong. “Setting the matter of your trial aside, I also spoke to Focalors, God of Justice.”

“Wasn’t that me?” Furina asks.

“In a sense. She was the woman that encouraged you to do all this.”

“Oh,” Furina breathes, “The mirror me.”

“Exactly,” Neuvillette nods, “Her machinations have been realized, which means you no longer have to play your part.”

“Ahh yes, good good.”

“Lady Furina,” Neuvillette’s voice trembles as he strides toward her. He nudges the suitcase aside with his boot and sinks to one knee in front of her. His gloved hands find her shoulders, and squeeze. Furina wants to crumble beneath a grip so firm.

“I am so, so, so sorry,” Neuvillette says. His eyes are enormous. “No amount of apologies will mend the wounds you’ve taken for Fontaine, but I am so incredibly sorry that you had to. I’m sorry you were all alone. I’m sorry you could confide in no one. I’m sorry your Iudex had no faith in you and therefore did not lend you his support. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The apologies pour forth like water. Neuvillette can’t hold back his flood of emotion. Furina listens, lips parted, unsure of what to say or do. Should she soothe her dear Iudex or dismiss his concerns? What would be most appropriate? Acknowledgment! Someone’s expressing their grief for her pain. Finally, finally! 

“Ugh,” Furina groans, “Monsieur Neuvillette, let me assure you that mmff-“

“Hush now,” Neuvillette stamps a finger to her lips, his words still quivering. She’s surprised he isn’t shaking with the force of his own emotion.

“Don’t say anything,” he says, “You are no longer a performer. I do not wish you to conduct yourself as an actress. You have no need for that merciless role.”

“Oh well then, um,” Furina ducks her head and averts her gaze. Her heart flutters in contrast to how her stomach dips. She can’t help but worry that this is all wrong, that something terrible is bound to happen. It prickles the back of her neck. She wants to believe Neuvillette, to collapse into his words and do exactly as he instructs, to shed her role. But what if .. what if?

“Monsieur Chief Justice,” she gasps, “Is it really over? Am I really done?” She’s imperceptive to the new rivulets of tears running from her eyes, or the way her shoulders hitch.

“Yes Mon Petit Ange,” he coos.

“But we’re still in the opera house,” she cries.

“Then I shall take you out of it,” Neuvillette declares. With little ado, he collects her in his arms like a bride and rises to his feet. Her head lulls against his shoulder, and she clutches his jabot. Her eyes drift shut, but she can’t get her mind to quiet. “I’m never coming back,” she murmurs, more for herself than anyone else. She isn’t sure if she means it or not.

“You may only return if you will it,” Neuvillette says, “I will gladly govern Fontaine in your stead.”

“That’s good, cause I don’t wanna do it anymore.”

“I’ve already arranged suitable accommodations for you,” Neuvillette exits the room. Furina can  hardly tell he’s moving, his embrace so steady.

“You needn’t work or worry.”

“You’re so nice,” she yawns.

“Nonsense,” Neuvillette says, “It’s the least I can do.” 

…

When Neuvillette at last sets her down, it is upon a lace canopied bed of soft blankets and endless pillows. She feels like she’s melting into a cloud. She opens her eyes for but a moment, taking in the opulence of the bedroom and the low lighting before she closes them again.

“I’m so tired,” she whispers. She can only say it. She’ll never make anyone understand how fatigue weighs down her gait, how exhaustion has her living life through a dreary haze.

“I know Petit, I know,” Neuvillette breathes from somewhere below her. There’s a hand holding her ankle steady as her shoe is coaxed from her foot. Then her other shoe hits the carpet with a quiet plunk. He really is a kind person, the kindest person. Rain patters beyond the window. How long did it take her to notice? She curls up and hopes her consciousness surrenders itself, the rain her lullaby. 

…

She wakes as an unwilling participant. Her body is cramping and her eyes are dry. For a second, she frets over her duties for the day. Then she remembers. She isn’t in the Opera Epiclesse anymore. It is all over. She may cry again. She pushes herself up in her pillows. The room is dark, not a hint of light getting through the curtains. Sleep is so alluring. She’s draped in a lavender chemise she doesn’t recognize. Who is responsible for this?

“Lady Furina?” three knocks come to her door alongside a woman’s voice. “Are you up?”

“Yes, yes you may come in,” Furina calls, confounded at how hoarse her voice is, words raking up her throat. She coughs a little. The door pushes open and Navia floats in.

“Good to see you up My Lady,” Navia says, a radiant smile shaping her lips. In one hand she balances a long tray cluttered with pastries and juice. Navia sashays past the windows, yanking back the curtains as she does. Sunlight filters through the room. Furina squints. Navia sidles up to Furina’s bed and settles on the edge of it, placing the tray in Furina’s lap.

“Am I late for something?” Furina asks. The platter warms up her bare thighs and the aroma of the pastries sweeten the air the way flowers do spring.

“No, I’m just bringing you breakfast,” Navia laughs.

“Aw! Well then, I should thank you for your generosity,” Furina says, reaching for a bacon quiche. “Ahem, where is Monsieur Iudex Neuvillette?”

“He’s very busy establishing himself as Fontaine’s sovereign,” Navia says, “We’ve all been taking turns looking after you.”

“All?” Furina asks.

“Monsieur Neuvillette, Duke Wriothesley, Clorinde, and I”

“My! I did not expect my subjects to flock to my aid.”

“Ex subjects,” Navia says, twirling a bouncy tress of caramel blonde hair. Right, right. She is Fontaine’s archon no more. This mercy can’t have come soon enough.

“You have a rotation yes?” Furina grabs up a slice of vanilla cake topped with strawberries, “How long have I been resting?” 

‘Four days,” Navia says. Furina pauses mid chew, cheeks full of cake. She isn’t sure how to respond. Four days? It feels like she slumbered for only six hours.

“Sigewinne’s been monitoring you though, and your health hasn’t declined.”

“Ah yes. That is wonderful news,” Furina says. She swallows down her cake and takes another slice. “This is truly a delicious confection,” she sighs as the cream icing melts on her tongue.

“Really? Yay!” Navia claps her hands, “Fantastic! It would be a terrible shame if I disappointed you.”

“Hmm, you? Did you make this divine breakfast Ms. Navia?”

“Yes,” she bobs her head in a nod.

“Thank you. I love it! It quite befits me!”

“Well, you certainly deserve a treat.”

“Deserve?”

“Yup,” says Navia. Without warning, she dives into Furina’s space and throws her arms around her. Furina shrieks as her face is stuffed into Navia’s plush chest. She’s enveloped in strong arms and the fragrance of Navia’s floral perfume. Furina crumbles into her. She’s gooey and drenched in warmth like the cream of a hot confection.

“I wanted to thank you personally Lady Furina,” Navia speaks into her hair, “Your contribution to Fontaine is truly wonderful. My gratitude is eternal.” Oh, wow… Something crowds Furina’s throat, snatching her breath away. Her stomach cranks like the gears in a clockwork mega because, she failed Navia the most.

“Your the last person who should be thanking me,” Furina mutters. She’s taking up too much space in Navia’s embrace, cozy in a sanctuary she lacks the privilege to seal herself in. “Your attendants were dissolved before I could stop the prophecy.” A fresh wave of tears press behind her eyes. She has no right to mourn them. She hardly knows who they are, but she can’t help it. She had done everything her mirror self told her too, and innocent people still lost their lives. Navia stills against her. She holds her breath for a small eternity, then sweeps her hand through Furina’s sugar white hair.

“No, don’t say that,” Navia murmurs, “It isn’t your fault. You did your best, and it was enough to save practically all of Fontaine. I’ll never blame you for their passing. And I will never stop marveling at the perseverance and compassion you offered your people. Thank you.” She rocks Furina through her tears. Furina doesn’t ever want to leave.

…

Next time Furina wakes, it’s to a ridiculously sized man hanging over her, assessing her with shrewd blue eyes. She screams to the top of her lungs. Wait. She knows his face but can’t put a name to it, and the logical part of her brain loses the battle to the panicked part.

“Ah, you’re good and alive then,” his smirk is sideways and cavalier, “I thought I might have to get Sigewinne to examine you again. How are you feeling?”

“Um, Duke Wriothesley?” Furina dodges the question with one of her own, trying the title on her tongue. She hopes she got that right. She can’t answer that question. Every moment she’s awake, she wishes she was sleeping, and there are a million reasons why. None of which she desires to express or explain. 

“Yes?”

“It’s your turn to babysit me?”

“Perish the thought,” Wriothesley extends one bandaged hand, “I’m here to invite you outside for a cup of tea.”

“I’d rather not be seen by anyone,” Furina daintily shakes her head.

“We’re not going beyond your backyard,” says Wriothesley, “But everyone needs a little sunlight.”

“What an ironic notion, coming from the Duke of Meropide,” Furina snorts, but she sits up and slips her fingers through Wriothesley’s.

“To be fair, I’m a criminal,” Wriothesley says, “Flowers like you bloom best in the sun. I’m more like the moss that lurks between rocks underground.”

“You could’ve chosen any manner of night blooming flower or houseplant, and you chose moss for your simile. Your self esteem is rather deficient Monsieur Duke.”

“Well,” Wriothesley heaves her up. She squeals, kicking her legs until she’s cradled proper in his arms. She holds tight to his massive shoulders, worrying her lip at how far from the ground she is.

“Then we’re in the same boat, aren’t we Miss?” he carries her outside with ease. It’s a bright day, a warm one too, the sun’s heat on her skin, with no hint of a breeze. Neuvillette acquired her a house with a garden suitable for tea parties. Wriothesley dips her down in a cushioned chair, and sprawls in the chair opposite her.

“What?” Furina throws her head back into a laugh, “For five centuries I have been Fontaine’s archon, adored and trusted by all”

“But do you adore yourself?” Wriothesley drums his fingers on the mug before him, “Often when you’re supervising a vast sum of people, you lose the comfort of putting yourself first. And you learn that people don’t love you so much  as they love what you can do for them.”

Furina hiccups, almost choking on her tea. She takes another sip. It’s hot and sweet with honey and milk. Wriothesley’s tea is always welcome and exquisite, just like the duke himself. “You’re right,” she says, the words full seconds apart. “All I know how to do is pretend to take care of others. I don’t know how to love me.” She imagines she won’t ever learn either. She is too exhausted to rewire her brain to think normally. Her cup sloshes in her trembling hands,and she sets it down as not to drop it.

“See?” Wriothesley smiles, mouth in a rueful curve, and shelters Furina’s delicate hands in his big ones. “We are in the same boat.”

Furina’s breath stutters. No, no! The tears are coming back. The ache in her chest swells and it’s as if her ribs shatter.

“If I may make one correction,” Wriothesley says, and takes her silence to be permission. “While you may have been pretending to be an archon, every aspect of care and attention you granted your people was real.”

She doesn’t let go of his hands as she cries.

…

When she wakes, the steady, rhythmic bouncing of her body lets her know she’s being carried. Again? She hasn’t touched the floor since she arrived here. Is that on Neuvillette’s command? Does he wish to spare her legs? She’s delighted no one else appears to mind either. She forces her eyes open and tries to blink the dryness away. A purple jabot sways in her vision.

“Clorinde?” Furina asks.

“Good evening My Lady,” Clorinde says back. Her easy, syrupy voice travels down Furina’s neck, raising goosebumps as it goes. When last they saw each other, Clorinde had a sword pointed at her. What a horrifying time. Every second on that stage had been miserable, the air squeezed thin with her own fear. Everyone had turned against her. She doesn’t blame them, but it doesn’t soothe the pain.

“Where are we going?” Furina asks.

“No where,” says Clorinde, “I’ve been in charge of your bathing and dressing.”

“Oh!” Furina yips and covers it with a cough. A rosy heat spreads along her cheeks and nose, and she hides her face in Clorinde’s neck. A low, sultry chuckle vibrates through her in response. Clorinde’s shoes reverberate off the mosaic floor as they enter Furina’s bathroom. It is just as luxurious as the rest of her bedroom, with a capacious claw foot tub beside a window that peers into her garden. Clorinde sets her on the counter. She leaves her to light a few candles, golden light spilling along the walls. She returns, beginning to unfasten Furina’s clothes. When done, Clorinde scoops her back up and lowers her down into the bath. Furina expels a dramatic sigh as the hot water ripples around her. 

“Is the temperature to your liking?” Clorinde kneels at the side of her tub.

“It is more than adequate,” Furina says.

“Glad to hear it,” Clorinde says. She starts with Furina’s shoulders, lathering soap smelling of hyacinth in her palms, and massaging it into her flesh. “You’re usually asleep when it’s my turn to tend to you, so I’m glad to see you awake for a change.”

This feels like it shouldn’t be happening. Furina’s vision frays at the edges, her thoughts going fuzzy. The water is blurry with incandescent candle light streaking through it. Her body gives a pleasant shiver with every glide of Clorinde’s fingers. She must be sailing through a dream. Soon she’ll wake up, and she’ll have to resume being a fraud god once more.

“I have been sleeping a lot,” she admits, a giggle skipping through her words.

“That’s all right,” says Clorinde, “You’ve earned a rest. If I were you, I’d be in a six month coma. Actually scratch that. I would’ve given up a long time ago.”

“I wanted to give up so badly though,” Furina whimpers. Sheesh! Emotions are governing every aspect of her, aren’t they? They’re so hard to hold back, as insistent as a hungry audience. Not even her feelings offer her clemency. As loud as an encore, her heart throbs in her chest.

“But you didn’t,” Clorinde says, “You didn’t and you’re brilliant. Anyone else would’ve given up and no one could blame them. You’re job was to act as a god, but isn’t the strength you cultivated its own divinity?”

“Shoot!” Furina screams. She collapses into a litany of sobs, her body spasming. She can’t stop crying. She can’t stop crying. 

“You know?” Clorinde’s voice softens, “I hate crying, but I let myself anyways because of Navia. She’s always vulnerable and there is such a beauty in that. You needn’t take any shame in your own sorrow. After all I’d be flooding Fontaine if I were you. So, thank you for everything. Cry all you need.”

Furina only cries harder.

…

She wakes again. Her room is in darkness and she can’t move, so frozen by her own fatigue. Her eyes are heavy, and a portal of dreams and abyss sits just behind her eyelids. To think she has all these people pampering and spoiling her, and she’s still bereft of energy. There’s shuffling in her bedroom, and she yells.

“Lady Furina,” Neuvillette’s sonorous voice answers from somewhere in the black.

“Ahh, My Dear Iudex,” Furina exhales, relief loosening her taut drawn muscles.

“I did not intend to frighten you,” Neuvillette murmurs, “I only meant to insure that everything was still in order here. I wasn’t expecting you to wake.”

“It’s fine,” Furina says, “What is the hour?”

“A few hours past midnight,” Neuvillette says. Slow, gentle footfalls descend on the carpet. Then, the bed sighs as Neuvillette sits on it.

“You’re up so late,” Furina whines.

“Indeed. Such is the nature of reestablishing a dilapidated nation,” she can hear the weary smile in his words, “And it fairs little compared to your own exhaustion anyhow. Also, Wriothesley visits nigh every night with tea to drink and oil to soothe my aches with.”

“How gentlemanly of him,” Furina isn’t sure why the idea conjures up a flush to her complexion.

“Quite,” he chuckles. He pats over the blankets before he finds Furina’s head. He hums and runs his fingers through her hair.

“Monsieur Neuvillette?” she asks. Her mind gets away from her, and she liquefies under his affection. It takes her a few moments to finish verbalizing her concern. “Everybody is taking such good care of me, and yet I can't seem to stay awake.”

“Why yes,” Neuvillette says, “The prophecy was not fulfilled in a day, so too will you not be ameliorated so soon. Please don’t fuss over it. We are all honored to serve you.”

“Are you sure?”

“As Fontaine is the nation of hydro.”

Her eyes flutter shut, and Neuvillette’s nails on her scalp coax her back to sleep. She reflects on the time she’s spent awake. Her subjects were spoiling her, gentle with her body and tender with her heart. They all acknowledged her in earnest, let her cry and expected nothing from her. If this is all real… if her show has truly come to an end and these good ladies and gentlemen don’t mind pampering her soul till it’s whole again, then perhaps she no longer has to dread waking up. A tear rolls down her cheek and her mouth lifts in a phantom smile. One day, she won’t be tired.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Title is from Rihanna’s Take a Bow.

You can find me on AO3 as RainbowPools

Lastly, wishing everyone luck, love, and safety, and encouraging everyone to boycott and interact online for the people that really need us.

[thatfanfictionchick]

This is intended to be...archival, for myself, mostly. But if you find it interesting you should definitely check out Ikemen Villains!

Ikevil Event - Wrapped in Wicked Romance pt.2

Ellis's Route Ch. 1

·✦...·✧

What is happiness?

It was like the sky at twilight, changing colors right before your eyes.

Even though it may capture your heart forever and never let go, you’ll never experience the same thing twice.

(What am I doing? I really need to pull it together.)

Today, Victor called me to the palace where we enjoyed tea time together.

Just when I thought the day would end with that peaceful chat, he told me something shocking.

Victor: “Oh, I almost forgot! I have your first mission as Fairytale Keeper!”

Kate: “Oh, really? What is it?”

Victor: “I want you to choose one member of Crown to spend the day with as a couple.”

Kate: “... Pardon?”

(As a couple?!)

Kate: “W-wait just a minute! I don’t know the first thing about any of them!”

Victor: “Precisely! That’s just it, Miss Kate!”

Victor: “I was trying to figure out a way you could get to know them more deeply, and I finally came up with it!”

Victor: “I’m an absolute genius! Well, it’s already late today, so you can start tomorrow. I’m so excited.”

(I have to get them to trust me, so I can’t just run away during the first mission. I have to say yes.)

(But how am I supposed to pretend to be a couple with one of them?)

It was going to be a rough day – I was so deep in thought I nearly got run over by a carriage.

I looked down at my ankle, which I’d twisted badly jumping out of the way of the carriage, and let out a sigh.

(Well, there’s no point in worrying about it.)

(I’ll go see Roger and ask if he’ll lend me a plaster or something.)

As I limped up the stairs toward the entrance…

Ellis: “What happened to your leg?”

Kate: “Whoa! You scared me, Ellis.”

Ellis appeared out of nowhere, startling me so much my heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

Ellis: “Are you in pain?”

The night I had avoided being killed by becoming Fairytale Keeper…

…Ellis was the one who’d said, “Should we kill her?”

(Then shortly after that, he gave me some weird proposal and said he’d make me happy.)

I couldn’t help but feel incredibly uneasy.

Ellis: “I’ll take care of you. Put your arm around my shoulders and hang on.”

Kate: “Waaah!”

As soon as he saw that my ankle was swollen, he easily lifted me up without a moment’s hesitation.

Kate: “N-no, I’m fine! I can walk…”

Ellis: “Roger’s not here tonight, so I’ll take a look and determine whether or not you’re fine.”

Ellis ignored my protests and carried me toward the basement.

(He seems really used to this…)

He skillfully wrapped a bandage around my sprained ankle.

His gentle fingers moved deftly while holding my bare foot.

But he was very serious about what he was doing, so he didn’t make me feel bad about it at all.

Ellis: “How did you get hurt?”

Kate: “I was walking along without paying attention and almost got hit by a carriage. I twisted it as I jumped away.”

Ellis: “A carriage, huh? Are you worried about something?”

(I’m not sure if I should talk to him or not… but maybe he has some good advice.)

Kate: “Victor told me my first mission was to pretend to be a couple with one of the Crown members for a day.”

Kate: “But now that my ankle is twisted, I think it would be best if it was someone with whom I wouldn’t have to move around too much.”

Kate: “Do you know who I should choose?”

He finished securing the ends of the bandage together and then stared at me for a moment.

Ellis: “I’d like to do it.”

Kate: “Huh?”

Ellis: “I want to play the role of your boyfriend.”

(He does?!)

Kate: “But why?”

Ellis: “I want to make you as happy as possible while you’re here.”

He’d said something similar on the night we met.

(Why would he think that about someone he just met, right after asking if they should kill me?)

Ellis: “I don’t want you to be sad when the day is over tomorrow. So can I be your boyfriend?”

(I feel slightly uncomfortable with the idea, but…)

He’d been very kind to me and wrapped my ankle with great concern.

I couldn’t be cold or suspicious after that.

Kate: “S-sure.”

Ellis: “...Yay.”

He smiled happily and then lifted me up.

Kate: “I-I’m fine now! You bandaged me up and everything.”

Ellis: “I realize that you’re someone who doesn’t want to cause trouble for others even though you’re injured.”

Ellis: “But I don’t trust you when you say you’re fine. Let me take you to your room.”

Kate: “You’re making a huge fuss over nothing…”

I tried to convince him to stop, but he didn’t have any intention of letting me down.

So I had no other choice but to sit still and let him carry me.

Ellis: “I’d like to know more about you so I can make plans for tomorrow. What makes you happy?”

Kate: “Um… Eating something delicious?”

Ellis: “Hmm. Well, then. I’ll buy something delicious and we can have a picnic.”

Ellis: “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning. From that point on, we’ll be a couple.”

Kate: “...Okay. Thank you.”

(I was a bit unsure about this first mission, but it’s going pretty smoothly.)

(Maybe TOO smoothly. Should I be more cautious of Ellis?)

I looked down at the carefully wrapped bandage.

I wasn’t sure why he did it, but he had treated me with great care.

(I’m sure I’ll be fine with Ellis. Right…?)

-next morning-

Ellis: “Good morning, Kate.”

Kate: “Good morning. What’s that?”

The following morning, Ellis came to my room to pick me up, just as he said he would.

He was carrying something that looked like a chair with wheels attached to it.

Ellis: “It’s called a wheelchair. They’re not easy to come by, so I made one.”

Kate: “You made it… But why?”

Ellis: “Because I don’t want my girlfriend to put any strain on her injuries.”

(His girlfriend…)

Kate: “Wait, you did all that for me?”

Ellis: “Of course. Now come and sit down.”

I hesitantly sat down and was surprised at how comfortable it was. I could probably sit there for quite some time.

He pushed me from behind and the wheels turned smoothly as the chair moved forward.

Kate: “This is amazing. I can’t believe that not only do you know of such a useful thing, but you could make it, too!”

Ellis: “A long time ago, I researched things like… I just happened to remember it yesterday.”

Kate: “Thank you so much. I’m really happy. But you’re really making too much of a fuss. I don’t have any broken bones. I can walk.”

I tried to stand up, but…

Ellis: “No. You could make it worse, and then you really won’t be able to walk.”

Kate: “Huh?!”

He hugged me from behind and made me stay in the chair.

Ellis: “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

Ellis: “And if we come across stairs, I’ll lift the chair up.”

Ellis: “All you have to do is sit here today. Please.”

Ellis whispered as he held me, his voice sweet against my ear. I was unable to stand or even move.

I was so bewildered by his excessive kindness. It was like I was being wrapped in a warm blanket.

(...Maybe this is how he treats his girlfriends?)

(Is it weird to ask him to stop, even though we’re pretending to be a couple?)

Kate: “All right. Thank you.”

Ellis: “Great. This will be our first date together.”

Ellis: “And I’ll do my best to make it the happiest day ever.”

·✦...·✧

[chapter 2] [main page]

[horaitos]

My favourite thing about Polonius as a character is that he’s so incredibly long-winded to the point even the other characters get annoyed…except when he dies. Then, it’s literally:

“I am slain” [dies]

And I cackle every time and it’s one of my favourite scenes in Hamlet for that reason…

What are some of your favourite scenes?

The “I am slain!” gets me too lol, it’s too in character.

As for some scenes I like…

1. Well, while we’re talking about polonius, the scene when he runs into hamlet and hamlet calls him a fishmonger is really funny to me and it’s one of the scenes where hamlet just perfectly embodies the emo teenager who’s completely and absolutely done with the adults around him - those tedious old fools! - and polonius is very obviously trying to get information from him and hamlet’s just not having any of his shit. Polonius says that he’s going to take his leave and hamlet says he could not take anything he would desire more - except hamlet’s life, of course. Aside from the obviously serious note of hamlet’s depression under that it’s the edgy teenager vs oblivious adult that gets me.

2. I love hamlet’s confrontation with his mom, and not just because of the absurdity of “killed a guy, talked to air, called you a whore, what’s up?” The scene is one of the only times the two interact and it’s the only one where they interact one-on-one and it’s great because we really get to see hamlet’s feeling of pure betrayal from his mom and the pain and hurt he hides under his snark and edge. Like I’ve said before, I do sorta understand the situation gertrude was in - she’s still the figurehead of a country and has to appear strong - but she didn’t do anything to help her grieving clearly mentally ill son. And maybe it has to do with gender roles and how men were supposed to be “strong” but she abandoned him. And this scene is him screaming at her “why? why did you do this to me? I loved you! I love you! And you didn’t help me, not one bit! and now I’m stuck in this horrible situation and I can’t ask you for help because you abandoned me!”

3. The pipe scene! Ah, I love that joke and the lead up to it is just *chefs kiss* “and you thought you could play ME?? You can’t even play a pipe!!” Obviously there’s that similar feeling of abandonment where his two old friends are betraying him, which adds a nice layer of angst to that whole situation - I know he was already onto them from the moment they introduced themselves but here he’s just letting it all out, and it’s great.

4. Something that’s not talked about much is the scene where hamlet tells horatio that he killed ros and guil. And it’s interesting because there are a few ways to play horatio in this scene - he could be merely inquisitive, he could be loyal and nodding along, or he could be taken aback and shocked at what his friend has done. I personally think the third one is my favorite interpretation- and the one I’m using for my version of horatio! - because it lends a lot to his character, and it lends a lot more that he still follows hamlet afterwards. He is horrified at what hamlet has done, and yet he still begs him to not go into what is obviously a trap because of his devotion.

I could talk about some more, and maybe I will add on later, but if I do it now we’ll be here all day. Anyway, thanks for the ask!

[sylvienerevarine]

every day and in every way i am completing more @nirnwrote prompts. this one via @chaoticsleepygremlin featuring "why is there chocolate on the ceiling?"

--

Sophrine had seen a great many intimidating things during her time in Skyrim, but few of them could compare to being stared down by three unimpressed, aristocratic children.

“Why exactly are you spending the day with us?” asked Frothar.

“Because,” Sophrine said patiently, “Fianna usually makes sure you lot aren’t butchering each other, but she’s ill. I was in town, and your father asked if I could lend a hand, since he doesn’t trust you to your own devices.”

“This is ridiculous,” huffed Dagny, pushing away the chocolate-filled pastry in front of her (Sophrine had brought them as a peace offering, though it didn’t seem effective). “You don’t know anything about us and what we like. And I have very particular tastes.”

“Sophrine knows a lot more than you think,” Nelkir said quietly. “More than anyone here except me.”

Sophrine’s mind flashed to the ebony sword hidden in the cellar, and she shuddered. She’d rather forget that particular secret, thanks very much.

“Well, I get paid whether or not you have fun,” she said with a shrug, sitting down. “So we’ve really got two options. We can all sit around here staring at each other until we all turn into draugr–that’s how they’re made, look it up–or we can play Secret Werewolf. Your choice.”

“Secret Werewolf?” Nelkir asked, looking intrigued in spite of himself. “What’s that?”

“You don’t know about Secret Werewolf?” Sophrine shook her head. “My goodness, what are they teaching children in Skyrim? Well, it doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t like it. It’s just about murder and magic and secret identities.”

There was a silence.

“See? It’s just like I said: she has no idea what we like,” said Dagny. “How do we play this…Secret Werewolf?”

“I’ll need a few pieces of paper, a quill, and a promise not to tell anyone your assigned role,” said Sophrine. “And someone fetch Farengar and your uncle. We’re going to need a bigger group.”

—

“Another beautiful day dawns in the city of Whiterun,” Sophrine said gravely. “Alas, I have some sad news. During the night, our beloved wizard Farengar was cruelly torn apart by…the secret werewolf.”

“Ah, me, how unfortunate,” Farenger said dryly.

“Unfortunate indeed. For poor Farengar’s soul cannot rest until the werewolf is brought to justice.” Sophrine gestured expansively. “I will now hear your accusations.”

“It was Nelkir,” Dagny said immediately. “For sure.”

“An interesting theory. Your evidence?”

“Because he’s Nelkir,” said Dagny, “and he’s creepy. Also he would definitely kill Farengar.”

“To be fair, I did feel someone moving next to me,” said Frothar. “Could’ve been Nelkir. I vote him too.”

“Aye, I’ll have to vote for the lad as well,” put in Hrongar. “Sorry, son.”

“As you wish,” said Sophrine. “Nelkir, please show us your card.”

Nelkir irritably flipped over the paper in front of him, on which was clearly written HUMAN.

“It wasn’t me, you idiots,” he snarled. “If it had been, I’ve have killed Dagny straight off.”

Dagny threw her pastry at him and missed, sending chocolate spattering over a significant portion of wall. Sophrine shook her head.

---

“For shame, townspeople! Not only have you killed an innocent man, but you have wasted a very good pain au chocolat. Back to sleep with you, and we’ll see which poor soul perishes tonight.”

“So, it was Hrongar?” Balgruuf asked several hours later, looking impressed. “I didn’t realize he was capable of subtlety.”

“He surprised me, that’s for sure,” said Sophrine. “Nelkir was the werewolf during the next round, but the poor boy started laughing so hard the others guessed right away. Still, I think everyone had fun.”

“That’s an understatement. I’ve never seen all of my children smiling at the same time. Should I ask why there is chocolate on the ceiling?”

“Probably best not to.”

“Fair enough. Well, Miss Aulette, your payment.” He handed her a bulging coin purse. “Two hundred septims.”

“Two hundred?” Sophrine frowned. “I thought we agreed on fifty.”

“Miss Aulette, my children are not only alive and uninjured, but happy,” said Balgruuf. “Were it within my power, I would appoint you Empress.”

[ruinaimagines]

Since the other Arbiter got some love why not some for the Local one? Can you do some Romantic Headcanons for Binah please?

AT LONG LAST, THE BINAH LOVERS WILL BE FED (I am also one of them). I decided to combine these all because they all cover a very similar topic! And I don't want to accidentally throw myself in writers block by doing them individually. I am quickly noting that this familiar Arbiter is a fan favorite, but I am not surprised.

Binah Romantic Headcanons:

I don’t know how else to describe this woman other than otherworldly. There’s such an air of mystery that drives people in. She reminds me of an old Greek statue of the gods, and her tendency to lounge and just watch over the things that conspire helps with that.

The way she speaks is mesmerizing as well, it’s rich with detail and she’s sure to flatter you with her words. Her verbose ways of speaking and observant eyes make for incredibly unique and memorable compliments. 

Binah is very good at reading people, you are no exception. She’s very relieving to speak to as well for things you need to get off your chest. Sometimes it might feel like you have something to say, but you have no opportunity to do that. She will listen for as long as you need.

She has a very calming and relaxing feel to her. Whatever your problem may be, you’ll feel safe in her presence. The air on her floor is crisp on the tip of your tongue like it’s autumn, and it smells of tea. The lights in the sky look like stars, but hover like fireflies.

She is very welcome to the idea of you taking a nap or falling asleep around her, especially if you’re a librarian who just got out of a battle. Short moments of vulnerability like that mean a lot to her and warm her heart even if you may not even realize.

Binah certainly has a reputation as intimidating and dangerous. It can be beneficial in certain situations, but it honestly grows tiring. She’s growing and changing just as anyone in the library is. It can be difficult to manage a floor of psychology when people are too hesitant and afraid to speak up around her. Let alone with people she’s about to spend an eternity with.

This must be one of the reasons she finds herself falling for you. Perhaps you were placed on her floor as a librarian, interested in getting to know her better. Either way, you seemed to be unbothered by any rumors or speculation and instead would be rather open.

She doesn’t get surprised by much, but there was a bit of a humble shock in her chest when you would invite her to do things. It may seem simple to an outside eye, but few ask for her to come along unless it’s formal. But you don't seem obligated to, rather, you seem to enjoy being around her.

Binah has no issue with being the one to plan out events, nor does she really expect someone else to fulfill that role. Everyone always has something to do in this library, you are no different. But it’s nice to have a change of pace.

From an outside perspective it may seem that she treats you as she would anyone else. She doesn’t really verbally express affection in the ways that may be common, such as simple ‘I love you’s. She instead opts for acts of service, subtle hints that she’s paying attention to your words, and flattering you with long compliments. Very much enjoys just spending time with you and the deep talks that come with it.

If you’re a librarian you might find that the books you were selected to organize have already been placed in their dedicated spots. She tries to alleviate forms of stress or workload for you from time to time. It helps on rough days (and also means more time for the two of you to be around eachother).

In receptions she pays very close attention to your health. She understands that even if you are killed, you’re able to revive, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to deal with the pain. Ideally if she can keep a closer focus on you scenarios like those could be avoided.

Visiting the whole nap idea earlier, I could absolutely see her lending you her coat to wrap yourself in. The fluffy collar has to be comfortable as a pillow. She just thinks you look cute.

Binah herself doesn’t really initiate that much physical affection, but she loves when you cling, lean onto, or even fall asleep on her. She’ll slowly drag her fingers through your hair, or just hold onto you with a light touch.

She’s like a guide in both work and mentality. You can always come to her for advice. Sure you may not solve every problem, as some may be for you to figure out yourself, but you can figure out new ways to approach it.

The floor philosophy is heavy on the mind. Whether the topics are sad, or just described in so many confusing metaphors it becomes nonsensical, it takes a lot of energy to parse. It’s not super easy to come back from a fight to the death and then sit down and flip open a barely understandable book.

Binah, however, is almost always in a constant state of pondering. She’s willing to sit down and help out if the book is just a bit too much right now. It might come as a bit of a surprise, but she’s actually pretty good at putting things into simple, processable terms. That’s just not often how she speaks.

If you’re frustrated or your head is too fuzzy don’t even worry. The two of you can have a tea break.

Whether it's to help soothe you, or as a date, there really is no doubt she likes spending time with you, brewing the both of you tea. She really enjoys being able to physically make something that will positively impact you, and that the both of you can enjoy.

Be it she’s helping pull you out of a stressed mentality or the two of you are having fun discussing a smaller topic you will always leave the conversation feeling fulfilled.

Now we know she loves her tea dates, but there are actually some lesser known activities she enjoys too! Spending time outside, likely on one of the balconies of the library, and lounging in the shade has always been a good way to spend time for her.

Given the circumstances, leaving the library is unrealistic, and should you be a librarian it’s the same for you. That said, being outside gives the breath of fresh air and can make it feel like you’re a little less cooped up.

I imagine her as the type of person to collect different types of antique-looking dainty silverware, plates, and cups. If the two of you manage to get a little blanket set up, or a table and some chairs, she’ll be happy to host a picnic.

There’s little she hasn’t had the opportunity to do in her previous life as an arbiter, but this just means she values the moments where people make it special more. Don’t stress out too much about making the settings of dates constantly unique, because what she comes for is you. 

Makes me wonder though, perhaps she’d be interested in trying pottery? Yes it would be rather messy which might make her a little hesitant, but almost all artforms are. It’s part of the creation. If you are willing to participate too though then she’s all for it.

She somehow makes something beautiful on the first try. Comments something about ‘Well that wasn’t too hard’ to herself. You probably don’t have as much luck, especially if inexperienced, and end up with something vaguely shaped like a vase?? Whatever you had fun it doesn’t matter.

That said she doesn’t know everything and will love to hear about the niche little hobbies or interests of you. A lot of the time she’s actually learning something new.

[ladykissingfish]

drunk Akatsuki hc? 🥺

Ask and ye shall receive! ((Sorry it took so long to get to/finish this. Also get the nagging feeling I did a post very similar to this before but 🤷🏽‍♀️ piss poor memory so))

Drinking with the Akatsuki

Kakuzu

Takes a lot to get him drunk; his alcohol tolerance is pretty damn high. And when he does reach that point, he becomes … very unlike himself. Friendly, smiling, and extremely loose with his precious money. Kakuzu being drunk is the best time to ask him for an advance on your pay, or a personal loan. Another bonus: drunk Kakuzu is storytime Kakuzu. When he’s sober, the others don’t really like listening to his stories because they’re all boring as hell, and are usually centered around some point that he’s trying to nag everyone on. But drunk Kakuzu, well, he’ll tell you about brawls, dangerous stunts he pulled when he was a kid, sometimes even old lovers. He can keep the rest of the Akatsuki enraptured for hours with his intoxicated tales. The morning after a night of drinking is a different tale, though. He’ll remember loaning money to people and hunt them down to make sure that know they have to pay him back, and he’ll deny like crazy any story tidbits that the others bring up to him. Will also go through several pots of pure black coffee in an effort to de-hangover himself more quickly.

Pein

The Pein bodies don’t drink, but Nagato will, very rarely. Beer is his drink of choice, and he’ll opt for foreign rather than domestic. He’s not really the type to get full-on drunk (no matter what he’s the Leader and he carries himself as such), rather he’ll just get slightly tipsy. If he gets tipsy enough he’ll rant a bit to whoever’s closest about pain, and the unfairness of life, and anything else that would put a downer on happy drinkers’ moods. He always hopes that the alcohol will help him to sleep (he’s a horrible insomniac) but most times it just gives him a slight headache while leaving him wide-wake and dry-mouthed.

Hidan

Nobody wants to be around this guy when he’s had too much to drink, because the normally violent Hidan becomes even more so after hitting the booze. He’ll be willing to take on any and everyone, from teenagers to old men. And being immortal doesn’t help matters any; he could literally get torn limb from limb and his mouth would still be taunting his opponents with “Is that the best ya got, bastard??” Drinking also brings out his creative side when it comes to his human sacrifices and Jashin rituals; he’ll think up new (and horrible) ways to torment and kill his victims. Is the type to finally, FINALLY just completely pass out after reaching his final tolerance point, and the others will (reluctantly) drag him to his room and put him in his bed. Not many are willing to do this, however, as most times before he passes out he’ll have stripped himself completely naked.

Tobi

An emotional drunk. Gets sad and cries over practically anything. And it doesn’t take much to get him tanked, either; his tolerance level is embarrassingly low and he’ll be ready to sob after just a couple of glasses of wine. Tobi tries to avoid drinking when he can because he knows there’s a good chance of him dropping his persona and letting the others see Obito Uchiha. In fact this HAS happened a few times, where he’a taken off his mask and everything; fortunately for him the others were so gone that the next day they either didn’t remember, or believed that had just imagined the whole thing. Likes to soothe himself by slurring sad love songs at the top of lungs, joined most frequently by Deidara and Hidan. Will also drunkenly stuff his face with meats, which is a complete opposite from his sweet-loving sober self. He can throw down a dozen burgers when boozed up, the results of which will likely be in puddles all over the floor the next day. Will go to his bed and turn around in circles a bunch of times, like a dog, before finally going to sleep. “Tobi” will be the quietest he’s ever been the next day, as he fights a massive headachy hangover.

Konan

For being such a thin, delicate girl, Konan can hold her liquor right up there with the likes of Kakuzu and Kisame. One might never even know that she’s drunk to begin with; she walks perfectly straight, doesn’t slur her words, has almost perfect reflexes and normal mannerisms. One thing always gives her away, however; drunk Konan is hungry Konan. Under normal circumstances the little lady sticks to a healthy diet and isn’t one for over-indulging in anything. One shot or beer too many, and suddenly the gloves are off. Konan will make pizza, hotdogs, gigantic sundaes, cakes and pies … and devour almost all of it. She’ll share with the others if asked … but most times she’s eaten so much that there’s not much left to share. When she’s finally had her fill, she’ll go to bed … and wake up feeling sick as a dog the next morning. After the nausea passes, she’ll force herself to go for a long run or walk, no matter how much her head may be aching, in order to work off her excessive calorie intake.

Zetsu

Zetsu doesn’t drink, because alcohol interferes with his plant genetics, acting as literal poison to his system. But he enjoys being around the others when they’re drunk, to see the different types of personalities that emerge. Likes to hang around Hidan in particular, as the man’s sacrifices pick up significantly when he’s drunk, meaning Zetsu has more of a smorgasbord of leftovers to pick from

Sasori

As a puppet, Sasori doesn’t drink. But when he was a human, it was a different story. He turned himself into a non-human at a very young age, much younger, of course, than would have been the legal drinking age. But his grandmother kept a variety of wines in their home, and when she was away, he liked to pour himself a glass. Always only a single glass; he was intelligent enough both to know that his grandmother would notice if any larger of a quantity was missing, and, already dabbling in making poisons at this point, he understood the concept of “tolerance” better than most. But the single glass was enough; it seemed to comfort him during those nights when he was missing his mother and father. The wine also served as a brain-opener for him, of sorts: it was over wine that he first got the idea of turning himself into a puppet.

Deidara

Being young and so slender, and not having much experience with alcohol before joining the Akatsuki, the blonde is a bit of a light-weight when it comes to the hooch. He doesn’t really care for beers or ales (he compares the taste to “cat-piss”) and instead goes for the fruity mixed drinks that don’t SEEM that strong … until you’ve had about three or four, and they put you on your ass. Deidara becomes very lovey-dovey when drunk, and not just in a romantic sense. Alcohol makes everyone in the world his friend, and he’s suddenly interested in what others have to say about life and art. He’s even nice to Itachi, going so far as to hug him and tell him that he smells good, something that he will vehemently deny the next day. He’ll go to Sasori and cling to him and gush about how he appreciates his friendship and his guidance, until Sasori gets tired of him and tells him to go to sleep. Deidara can get to his room on his own, but once the door closes, he’s more likely to pass out on the floor than in his own bed. Also, if he didn’t think to tie up his long hair beforehand, he’ll be in for a nasty, messy surprise when he inevitably wakes up to vomit at some point.

Itachi

Itachi isn’t one to ever let himself lose control of his senses, no matter the situation. Therefore, if he’s drinking with the others, he’ll stick to one or two beers or a single shot before cutting himself off for the evening. He plays much of a “mom” role in the group, making sure the others are okay, lending a shoulder to cry on for the emotional drunks, and, if they’re out somewhere, making sure everyone gets home safe and sound. On the rare, RARE occasions he drinks by himself, and lets go of his hesitation, he’s just as emotional a drinker as Tobi (which is quite possibly an Uchiha trait). He’ll cry into his pillow, he’ll sit and lament over the choices he’s made in life. Sometimes he’ll find and put on the saddest song or movie he can think of, just so he has something to get emotional over. Although this sounds bad, this is actually a helpful bit of therapy for him, as it allows him to release emotions that he normally keeps bottled up. He’ll end a night of solo drinking with a cup of tea, then go quietly to bed, sleeping like a rock until the sun comes up and things go back to normal.

Kisame

Right up there with Kakuzu as being a guy that can hold his liquor like a champ. In fact his ability to do so has won him many drinking challenges at bars, as well as a formidable reputation as “one bad ass son of a bitch”. It also helps him confidence-wise; normally the half-shark is very reserved and keeps to himself, as he feels that his appearance is off-putting and scary to “normal” people. But alcohol loosens him up and gets him talking, and being bold, and many people find this switch in personality to be highly attractive. Ladies especially take notice of his smile, his eyes … and his muscles. He even scores several phone numbers from interested parties … but by the time he’s sober again, he never follows through with calling anyone. Also helps Itachi in that he keeps an eye on the others when they drink, to make sure that they’re safe.

[luimagines]

He Accidentally Hurt You pt.2

Masterlist

Set platonically and within the group Part 1

Hyrule

Your blood was pounding as your feet carried you across the battle field.

Your hearing was rendered useless by the cause, you only thoughts were on Hyrule and getting to him before the hoard of monsters did. He had somehow gotten separated from the group in the struggle and was left to fend for himself.

You made contact.

The sword in your hand followed through your practiced movements, slicing all and any between you and your target.

You could hear him in the distance, you were close, you just had to get- just a little-

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up and the air changed. The split second static was your only warning before lightning struck.

Monsters fell all around you but you failed to pay attention to that. Your attention was instead on the blinding, scalding twist in your arm that held your trusted blade. You couldn’t even find it in you to let go of the weapon, your muscles incapable to receiving orders.

The pain traveled through your arm and across your chest until it encompassed your whole being.

Screams tore through your throat without your knowledge and when the attack subsided, your whole body went rag doll and your vision went black.

“Please. Please. Please.” A voice whispered through the darkness. It was soft. Pleading. A blessed chill seemed deep into your bones and you found it within yourself to open your eyes.

Hyrule was crouched above you, tears in his eyes with shallow cuts across his tunic and exposed skin. Not a lot of blood though, your brain supplies. You take a relieved breath.

“Hey.” You croaked out in greeting. “Glad to see you’re ok. I was worried.”

“I didn’t know you were there.” He blurts as if he didn’t hear you. Maybe he didn’t. “I thought it was only monsters nearby. I don’t think I have enough magic to heal you completely. This is all my fault.”

“Fault?” You attempted to sit up. You succeed. Mostly.

A grunt leaves your mouth at the stiffness in your joints and you force yourself to power though to reach into your inventory.

A sniffle leaves your Traveler when you push his hands away when you find your target. The red liquid glints in the dying sunlight and you hand it out to him. “Think you can open it?”

He nods and pry's it open before you can even think about getting into a better sitting position.

You don’t think twice about taking the potion when he hands it back.

“Save your magic.” You say. “I’ll be fine.”

And you know you’re right....It’ll take a little more than that to convince the rest of the group when you get back though. Hyrule plans to smother you until not a single blemish is left. The others? Well... They’ll keep an eye on you.

Twilight

“Ten rupees says you can’t make that throw.” You hear Warriors say.

“Double it and I’ll gladly prove you wrong.” Twilight responds.

The book in your lap calls for attention more than whatever those two are doing for the sake of friendly competition. You don’t look up, trying to keep your eyes on the page but you can’t help the growing curiosity in the back of your head.

“What are we using to aim with?”

“That?”

“Sure.”

You roll your eyes and keep your head down.

“I’ll be twenty rupees richer and it’ll shut your mouth. Just watch.” Twilight grumbles.

There’s a tap and a growl before something comes at your head full throttle. It’s dense but not enough to keep it from exploding all into your hair and it knocks you over slightly.

You closed your book to protect it from the falling matter and reach at the spot. By your feet laying the offending object.

An apple.

They threw an apple at your head. Correction. Twilight threw an apple at your head.

The thoughts in your head spin a bit. Your whole head is throbbing but you doubt there’s any blood. You look up just in time to see Warrior and Twilight running at you as fast as they can. Twilight reaches you first and kneels next to you. “By Ordana, are you ok?”

His hands hover over you, trying to take in the damage without actually touching you.

“Who are you?” You blurt out, very quickly realizing that it was the wrong thing to say.

His face drops and Warrior wears a similar expression.

“Kidding.” A pained grin covers your face. “Take me to Hyrule please.”

“I’m so sorry.” Twilight reaches for you and you comply. Once you’re on your feet he speaks again. “Warrior messed up my shot and it hit you by accident.”

“That’s a weird way to say you lost a bet.”

You kick Warrior as payback.

Sky

“So...” You sit next to Sky during the break. “What are you planning to make this time?”

The boy next to you already had his whittling knife out and a decent sized chunk of wood in his lap. He picked it up and spun it a few times, staring into it as if he could already see the form inside it. It was just his job to take it out.

“I don’t know yet.” He admits. “Maybe it’ll come to me.”

You nod and let him work in relative silence, the faint but consistent sounds of Sky working next to you create a blissful and serene atmosphere.

The others are off doing their own thing, each keeping to themselves for the most part.

It’s nice.

“Actually, can you help me with this real quick?”

Your attention is back on Sky. He’s trying to get his knife out of the wood block, the outline of the shape he’s making already starting to form.

You don’t recognize it.

Sky picks up the knife and the whole block follows. “It got stuck.”

“How?” You raise an eyebrow and try to keep the smile off of your face.

Your response is only a shrug and the wood being thrust in your direction.

You grab it and instinctively tighten your grip on it when you feel Sky pull.

You both use your strengths to your advantage and pull in different directions. You feel the knife begin to slip out and adjust your grip. Within seconds the blade is free and you feel it cross the tip of your finger.

Instantly, the wood is dropped and you cradle your hand close to you, putting pressure on the injured digit.

“Ok, got it, thank- What happened?” Sky scoots closer to you and pulls your hands out.

A thin red line follows the length of your finger and it only seems to grow as the moments pass. It doesn’t feel deep but it certainly won’t let you flex your finger for a while.

A quite hiss leaves Sky’s lips. “Well that could’ve gone better. Sorry about that.”

“It could’ve gone worse too.” You press a little on the injury, trying to will the pain away.

It doesn’t work, but hey, you try.

“Hold on. I think I have some bandages in my pack.” Sky gets up and jogs to where most of the others are sitting. He picks up his bag and looks inside for a minute or two before jogging back to you.

A small role of bandages sits in his hand and when he reach for your hand, you don’t hesitate to give it to him.

As he’s working on your finger, you feel mild irritation bubble up in your throat. “This better not scar.”

“Why’s that?” Sky replies.

“It’ll be the lamest story.”

He laughs and finishes his work.

Time

Sometimes it surprised you how short everyone in the group was. You weren’t sure if it was a Link thing or one of the biggest coincidences of the universe because it certainly wasn’t just because they were Hylian (but that probably didn’t help).

That being said, and what you could gather from The Captain, it boggled your mind further that Time was the biggest of everyone. Warrior made it seem like he’d stay small forever, implying that Time was smaller still when he first defeated Gannon.

That didn’t seem very fair.

For him and you....well everyone, only Twilight and Warrior were the ones exempt from having to look up at the old man. But you didn’t like the idea of someone so small fighting such a beast, so Time is included in your sympathy list.

Despite his size, he seemed to move as silent as a mouse. Only Wild would be quieter than him.

After some time of traveling with them all, you realized he was just as much as a gremlin as the rest.

He was not above pranking the living daylights out of poor unsuspecting teenagers.

And the thing is, no one could catch him. Somehow he managed to get them to in the blame on each other but you knew better. You swore it had to be him. There was no way. There was no way he could count as a Link and not get into this kind of stuff.

But no one believed you.

It definitely wasn’t fair.

With the stage set, it’s safe to say now that you were calmly, peacefully and quietly minding your own business. You weren’t bothering anyone.

You were writing in your journal under a tree with some low branches. Nothing too bad but in terms of shade and angle, you found it to be the perfect resting place.

You took a deep breath in and let it out.

Yes, it was nice.

“BOO!”

You jumped as high as your reflexes you take you and spun around, but you had forgotten where you were in the moment.

With a solid thunk, your head hit the branch above you and sat back down, with a curse.

While there was laughter in the your reaction, it was cut off abruptly at the first sign of pain. “Oh jeeze, I’m sorry. How bad does it hurt?”

A whimper escaped your mouth before you could stop it and you closed your journal, choosing to furiously rub your hands against the now tender spot on the top of your head. “Ow Time. Why did you do that?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d move like that.” He moved your hands away and inspected the area for himself. “No bleeding. Doesn’t look like it’ll need a potion...”

“I blame you.” You grumbled. “This is your fault.”

“I can accept that.” He nodded and stepped back. “There’s not much we can do about it in terms of healing, but perhaps Hyrule would be willing to lend a hand.”

“No way. He’d ask how it happened and I’m not going to lie to him.” You pouted. “No one will believe me if I told them the truth.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s you!” You glared at him.

A tiny giggle escaped from the so called Old Man of the group, Mr. Stick in the Mud. Senor Buzzkill. “And why would that make a difference?”

“I cannot believe you... Actually yes I can, you were doing this on purpose the whole time.”

He laughed more fully this time and didn’t seem to let up.

With a pout, you picked up your book and marched away.

One day you’ll get back at him. You just had to figure out how and when.

Four

“So, how do we play this game again?” You picked up the ball one of your companions took out. It was almost the size of your head and had crisscrossing lines. It was white and weighed less than you originally thought.

It was a relatively slow day and no one felt in the mood to dampen it by looking for trouble.

While Twilight and Warrior set up the net that was supposed to go with it, the rest were waiting and going over the rules.

“Just hit the ball over the net. You can’t the ball twice in a row, someone else has to hit it and if it touches the ground you lose the point.”

“Seems simple enough.” Wild takes the ball from you and tosses it a few times.

It takes a while for all the appropriate moves to be demonstrated but you all play the game with ease.

You were having a good time with your friends. Everyone was actually getting along for a change. With a smile on your face, you waited for the moment that would inevitably change.

You swore you could almost pin point when it happened.

With Four right across from you, his sudden change in stance gave away the glint in his eyes.

The ball came to him and he jumped up, higher than you thought he could and spiked.

Next thing you knew, you were on the ground, stunned and slightly disoriented and your face was hurting.

Four ran to your side as the game was halted. “That... was not what I was intending.”

“You don’t say... Can I step out for a minute?” You asked, trying to get your feet. Four helped you get away from the battle field- I mean, the game area and helped you sit back down against a nearby tree.

“Sorry about that.” He smiled apologetically. “Anything I can do to help?”

You looked up at him hopefully. “Lose the game?”

“Not a chance.”

[lovee-infected]

Hello! Any ideas on what each twst guy's love language might be?

Separating this request into two parts because the full post would've gotten too long.

Riddle Rosehearts

Giving: Quality time

He's the leader of not simply one the seven dorms in Night raven college but it's Heartslabyul; the dorm ran following the severely strict rules set by the Queen of hearts . Do have any idea how much he's got to do? He's got thousand to take care of everyday , so make sure that he's got no time to waste on anything, or anyone.

As he still decides to keep a certain time of day to spend with you; even if it's summarised in small talks or aimple activities like having afternoon tea together while asking you about your day, you should know that it's way more notable than it seems to be. He could've just sent you a bouquet of roses without caring to disturb his daily schedule because of you, and you would be satisfied anyway, yet he still finds you just as important as his daily plans as both a student and a dorm leader.

Let it be him just inviting you for a walk in the flower garden, all that matters is having you around because, he cares to let you know that he's always there for you when you need him and enjoys spending his time beside you; even if can't be for any more than a few minutes.

Receiving: Words of affirmation

Tell him anything he needs to hear. Tell him that he's good enough. Let him know that you believe in him and you think that he's doing good enough. Words effect this boy a lot more than they seem to; a very simple compliment can be either the cause of his overblot or what takes away the pain and tiredness of a busy gloomy day.

Because of being raised under strict rules and extreme critiques on his behaviors, his childhood on its own gives him enough of reasons to be overly protective with the way he's judged through your eyes.

He finds almost all of other love languages pretty useless to receive; Gifts can be given as a sign of a normal friendship, spending time with him might just be your way of wasting time when you have nothing better to do, going out of your way to help him may just be an act of kindness which you're used to; so let him hear you way you say you love him. He needs nothing more than you saying those words.

Trey Clover

Giving: Acts of service

Trey would be the great example of a mature and supportive partner. he's a clever, wise and organized as not only a student but also Heartslabyul's trustworthy vice dorm leader.

Just who can help you better than Trey can? And who would be this desperate to help you with anything possible except him? Chores, studies, random tasks, etc. He isn't going to wait for you to ask, he's always ready to give you a hand with anything you're busy with.

It may end up him having too much to do in his plate, but that's no problem for Trey. He's a reliable and supportive partner whom you can trust with your problems and shared responsibilities; what many people may lack. Trey's responsible and organized nature is what every couple need in a relationship.

Giving & Receiving: Quality time

He loves it whenever you're around and wants to see you feeling the same. While he doesn't expect you, his darling to trouble yourself going out of your way to help him, he -does- care to know whether you enjoy your time spent with him or not.

He isn't forcing himself on you, but he knows that there would be no point in your relationship if you don't like spending time with each other. He wants to know that you love him back and won't easily get tired of him after a short while. He doesn't mind being usually the one to ask you out or invite you for a walk, but he cares for you accept his invite in return; know that nothing cheers him up like your excitement about your time together.

Cater Diamond

Giving: Words of affirmation

He surely has a way with words, doesn't matter whether it's through face-to-face communication or online. Even his good night/good morning texts enough to make his darling blush, he knows how to have you weak.

He's probably one of the flirtiest guys you'd ever get to see; though he's his own reasons to be so: No one ever hates having someone flirting with them. The only thing that matters is 'how you should be flirting with them', which depends on your personality of course, but he's also got some secret tactics of his own which work on almost anyone.

He doesn't consider lying to be an ideal option when it comes to relationships, where you need to have trust and faith in your partner and be honest and reliable in return, but just saying: a bit of flirting won't hurt, right? To add to that, nice yet not possibly true compliments may motivate you to grow a stronger sight of that aspect in your personality and appearance, which is good.

Cater would probably make you not only feel more confident about yourself, but also trust and love Cater like you love no one; to he point of needing him to talk to you everyday, not that Cater does it all in purpose to make you bound to him but you can tell that...he appreciates being your favorite.

Receiving: Gifts

Just by looking at his room you can tell how much loves fancy things. From oval shaped accessories to chibi plushies and pillows. He not only loves being given new things but also cares to know your taste in gifts; especially the way you guess what Cater might like when choosing the gift. On the other hand he enjoys receiving your attention through gifts which makes him feel loved and, well, superior.

Doesn't matter whether he likes your gift or not, he'd always greet you with a bright smile and a soft kiss on cheek, telling you how much he loves you and what you gave him. There's a high possibility of him disliking what you gave him but - well, you're never going to know what he truly thinks anyway.

Ace Trappola

Giving: Physical touch

Holding hands ,giving hugs, poking cheeks, etc. Physical touch isn't always supposed to be dirty, he just needs to be close to you not just as a friend but also as a lover.

Friends can't kiss you on the lips when they realize how much they love you or hold you tightly in they're embrace when they're feeling like crying. He doesn't want to be -just- a friend, Ace wants to be closer; in fact, the closest one to you. His desire to touch you, hold you, kiss you; like no one else can ever do.

A lover is supposed to be treated differently, right? It's because they're special; therefore he'd get the chance to be closer to you than anyone else can. Ace doesn't want you to treat him and your other friends equally, he wants to be the only one allowed to hold your hand and hug you from behind; your one and only exception.

Receiving: Quality time

He enjoys his time with you the way he enjoys it with no one. You're the coolest , greatest and trustworthiest person he's ever seen; nothing would cheer him up better than seeing you willing to spend time with him as much as does.

It's such a blessing getting to be the one you choose to have around while there are hundreds of cooler students out there. It makes Ace feel special. Not only is hanging out with you the best time he'd ever get to have but it's also a sign of you at least -liking- him; which means that he's actually got a chance.

Deuce Spade:

Giving: Acts of service

What's the point of talking without doing anything? As he loves you, he needs to prove it through what he does for you and how far he gets with it. He's always willing to go out of his way for you even if what you're asking for is -too much- for him. If it's a chance to help you, why not? Doesn't matter what the task is, he'd always try his best.

He might goof up even with easy tasks like lending you his notes or getting you a smoothie but still , be wasy on him and know that he's trying his best for you.

Receiving: Quality time

To Deuce , someone like you is pretty hard to find. Someone he can feel this close and comfortable with...is almost impossible to be found and you're one the most amazing people he has ever seen because of it.

He absolutely adores every single moment you two spend together even if it's past in silence, just having you around is enough to make him feel better.

He sometimes invites you for walks when he's really stressed out, just to have an opportunity to talk to you. You always seem to help him by just listening to Deuce and not letting him keep it in. He's a young boy with a busy mind, he surely needs more of mental support. And the only one who seems to be able to give him the time and attention he needs is you.

Leona Kingscholar

Giving: Quality time

Isn't it obvious? He couldn't care less about the others. It's very rare of him to waste time on anyone when he's got no benfit in it so, if he is still preferring you over his afternoon nap, know that you're special.

He's often finds everything and everyone boring so sleeping sounds way better than having to deal with this uninteresting reality. Spending time with you is a clear proof that in contrast to many people he enjoys having you around, you are different. But note that this isn't enough for him to let go of his lazy nature around you, most of the time it's just him taking a nap on your lap as you spoil him like the lazy cat he always is. When not as tired as usual, he may go for boardgaming or asking you for a walk. He isn't really talkative either, all that matters is that he has has chosen to be spending hid time with you.

He may refuse to admit to it but you seem to calm him down, just walking beside you gives him a sense of feeling better than usual, he doesn't know why. Your presence slowly becomes a routine, to the point of him wanting to see you everyday. And that's how he's slowly becoming obsessed.

Receiving: Acts of service

You're probably aware of his obsession with dominance; to be the first one. Growing up being the second one all over his life has took an important role in shaping his personality; so it isn't really surprising to see that he enjoys ordering people around.

Not that he'd treat you like a slave or someone he looks down to, it's more of him enjoying you spoiling him a lot. He loves attention, especially as it comes from his beloved. He isn't really into ordering you around though, he prefers you to be babysitting him by your own will. At some point it isn't much different from adopting a selfish cat, and his jerky nature isn't helping it either.

Though you should know this better than anyone else; deep inside, he isn't as bad as he seems to be. He's just a baby who seeks attention he's missed during his childhood and it takes someone as passionate and caring as you to deal with him.

Ruggie Bucchi

Giving: Acts of service

Whatever you need, it can't be much worse than what Leona might've asked for, can it? Besides, this time he isn't forced into serving someone because he has to do it. He will be helping you on his own will. He mostly means it as a way to build up a strong relationship through being productive and helpful as a partner

It may start off as a normal friendship, with him often doing nothing more playing around and chilling with you, but soon enough he'll begin to consider you a part of his own family. He may not seem to, but he does take your relationship seriously and finds himself responsible toward you and your life.He may be young, but he's got the spirits of an experienced'family man'. Ruggie is surely one of the most helpful and reliable boyfriends or partners one can ask for.

Receiving: Quality time

No joke when I say he's got the spirits of a family man. Nothing means to him more than spending time with his dear ones does and when it comes to you, you are his dearest. He tries to put your time together into the best possible use, way more than just going for walks or simply chit chatting.

He often decides on something to do with you before hand and if he couldn't come up with anything, he'd ask you for recommendations. Your time spent together may sometimes be short so he can't always go for extravagant plans.

Ice cream dates and afternoon coffees will be pretty common ways of hanging out with him. He always makes sure to order your favorite flavor unless you want to give something new a try. Doesn't really matter how you're spending time together, he never fails to make you smile through it. As long as you're happy, doesn't really matter what you're doing.

Jack howl:

Giving: Acts of service

Nothing less would be expected from our tsundere wolf boy. He's already a best friend to many around him and of course, he's an amazing one; despite his seemingly cold and unfriendly appearance he is pretty caring and protective his friends, from helping them on school work to standing up for them when they're in trouble.

Just imagine how supportive he would be if you two are not simply friends but also lovers this time. He takes no effort in helping you out no matter what the trouble is; buying groceries, studying for an exam, needing help finishing a task or simple stuff like you needing a hug or a piggy back ride.

He often fails to realize this but he's awfully sweet; if you point this out he'd surely blush all of a sudden, turn away his head and tell you that it's not true, not that you are going to buy that though. After all you know better, under those muscles and and rough skin there's an overly fluffy heart.

Giving and receiving: Quality time

Why of course he loves nothing more than spending time with his dear ones, especially his darling. He wants it to be more than just talking and doing nothing special though, that'd be a waste of time when there's hundreds of things he's willing to be doing with you.

Playing games, practicing sports and maybe hanging out with the rest of your friends are his favorites, he often appreciates the lively atmosphere. That somewhat depends on his mood though, sometimes he wants to get rid of the quiet pace and other times, all he needs is to be alone with you as he takes a short nap. He'd love it even more if you play with his tail or rub his ears while he's pretending to be asleep.

Azul Ashengrotto

Giving: Quality time

Running the mostrolounge and managing the whole Octavinelle at the same time is quite hard; you can clearly see that he's much of an overly busy person. If there's one thing Azul prefers over money and power, that'll be you and only you. You can see the big deal here, he's offering you the worthiest thing he's got: his time.

He may not directly address it but he wants to show that he cares for you just as much as he cares for business, that no matter what great powers he's dealing with everyday; you'd still get to have your special time with him alone.

He's pretty considering toward the conversations you'd get to have at this short time; he may enjoy talking about his experiments in mostrolounge or the latest contracts he's made with the students, but in case that you don't really appreciate talking or hearing about them, he'd quickly switch to a topic which would match your tastes, something that'll make you enjoy you time with him. If he's spending time with him, he's got to make sure that it'll be spent well: He'd be a good listener, an understanding partner and in summary, a great lover.

Receiving: Physical touch

His body has always been his weakness; an isolated child afraid of who's been mocked because of his chubby body and now, an affectionate young boy who doesn't know just how sensitive he is to his darling's touch. Even the very simple physical affections such as hugging and forehead kisses would make him melt, he'd refuse to accept but you can clearly see that he's touch starved.

He's got a balance of hating to be touched and wanting it so badly, which mostly depends on the person touching him. It's pretty hard for him to let someone in and even his close friends make him feel insecure sometimes, so he decides to keep his softer parts for you and only you. He does want to be touched but by you and just you. He feels safe in your embrace and loved under your kiss, you can either send him to heavens or set him on fire.

He is weak for you, and this is why you'll br the only one who'd ever get to see this side of him. If he's supposed to be in control it's going to be for you and only you. He belongs to you.

Jade Leech

Giving: Acts of service

You'll be the lady/lord and he'll be the butler, loyal and elegant. Doesn't really need you to be pushing him into it since he enjoys playing the rule of the servant on his own, you can say that he enjoys spoiling you.

Phrasing you is also counted as aprt of his daily duties, never to be forgotten. He makes sure to remind you that he loves you everyday, maybe a small kiss or a wink too alongside of it. Give him the opportunity and he'll help you with almost anything; having your meals prepared, helping you get dressed, shopping, etc.

His favorite would be preparing your morning/afternoon tea or coffee depending on your taste. His main point is to impress you, but he'd appreciate it even more if you are the hard to satisfy type, the more challenging, the better. Sometimes he enjoys being humiliated as well because it encourages him to work harder until he hears that awfully rare 'thank you' from his darling.

Receiving: Quality time

His darling is probably going to be one of the most interesting people he's ever met; not all people get to catch his attention after all. He finds spending time with you not only thrilling but also important; as lovers you two are supposed to be each other's closest friends as well, so what may be more important than spending time together when you've got a choice?

Your time together will usually be spent with you talking and him listening as he loves nothing more than hearing your voice, maybe having something too drink to as you talk. He likes asking you questions; How was your day? Did you get to sleep well last night? Is there anything special you're going to do this afternoon? etc.

Though he's careful not to get to the point of bothering you with them. He often leaves deciding on what you should do together to you, but if it's ever on him it'll most likely end ups being a nature investigation date; mostly mountains and lakes. He'd absolutely love it if his darling is into nature as much he is, that'd be even better if the darling is a mushroom lover! He enjoys finding similar interests between you and him, makes him believe in your relationship being the perfect match even more.

Floyd Leech

Giving: Physical touch

Not to be dirty, but he genuinely enjoys it when you're close, your warm bodies touching and your breaths meeting. As he tightly squeezes you. The feeling is ...priceless.

It's mainly because it's something one can do only with his closest ones; he means to show that he's way more than just a friend. Normal friends won't tightly squeeze each other from behind, normal friends won't give each other pocky kisses and small bites on neck, normal friends would never touch each other like lovers touch, and that's why he wants there to be a difference.

He'd probably be really pissed off he sees anyone but him laying a finger on you. Even as it's just a small hug or friends' handholding. It low-key disgusts him. He wants to be your one and only, no one but him should ever be this close to you.

On the top of that, he has a thing for leaving marks behind~ You probably know how sharp those teeth of his are. He isn't into taking advantage of you, but he loves teasing you. Kissing and biting special spots such as your cheek would be one his favorite although he rarely gives it a try; unless...

Giving and Receiving: Quality time

Just as said, he isn't one to be easily attached to others; therefore his darling is surely someone special in too many terms. No need to be greatly rich or beautiful to attract him, he wants someone whom he finds interesting. Someone he enjoys getting to know better and having his time spent with.

His darling would be one of the very few people who hardly ever tire him, therefore it's always a new adventure when he gets to spend his time with you. He is willing to hear your ideas, see the way you think and possibly, how different you may be compared to Floyd.

Doesn't really matter what you're doing, let it be another study session together or taking his time to check on you after his classes; he'd appreciate it anyway. You willing to spend time with him is a sign of you preferring him over the rest of your friends, you could've been with anyone, yet you chose him. Meanwhile, wants to see his darling as excited as himself about getting to be together, it'll be pretty frustrating if he's the only one enjoying this relationship after all, wouldn't it?

[natache]

Ita Rina

First and Forgotten Yugoslav Film Star who provocated Gestapo

Ita Rina was born on 7 July 1907 in the small town of Divača (then Austro-Hungarian Empire, later Yugoslavia, now Slovenia) as Italina Lida Kravanja. She was called Ida Kravanja for short. She was named after a journalist Finzi Haydée, Jewish family friend from Trieste. The first daughter of Jožef a railroad worker and Marija Kravanja, Rina had a younger sister Danica. Shortly after the outbreak of the World War I, the family moved to Ljubljana, where Rina matriculated in 1923. She was not a good student; she repeated the third grade of elementary school. However, her dream was to be an actress.

In October 1926, Slovenski narod (Slovenian People) magazine organized a beauty pageant, and Rina entered the competition. She was crowned Miss Slovenia and was to travel to the final event for Miss Yugoslavia, which was supposed to be held on 20 December 1926 in Zagreb. However, her mother did not want to let her go to Zagreb. After a group visit from the Slovenian delegation, Marija Kravanja relented. Unfortunately, when Rina arrived in Zagreb, the jury was already choosing the most beautiful of three finalists. She was, however, noticed by Adolf Müller, the owner of Balkan Palace cinema in Zagreb. He immediately sent her photographs to German film producer Peter Ostermayer. As her mother did not want to let her go to Berlin, Rina ran away from home.

Her escape was enabled by a family friend, a painter Alojz Malota and his wife Hedvig Šarc. They invited her to come with them on a trip to Austria, and instead she went to Berlin. She has said that she felt very lonely and scared during the train ride and thought about returning home.

“That was my longest and hardest journey. I huddled myself in a corner of a coupe and looked around myself in fear. I only knew few words in German...”

Rina arrived in Berlin in 1927. Shortly after she had her first audition, following which she had classes in acting, diction, dancing.

"They would shine a spotlight on me" she later said "cameras would buzz. There were cables everywhere. Some complete strangers would stare at me, whispering amongst themselves. They told me to scream, to laugh, wave and cry. I think I looked most natural in scenes where I was crying. All I had to do was remember how far away from home I've gone and how I've deceived my mother."

"You don't know how to walk!" a director was yelling. I've dedicated all my strength on walking as gracefully as possible, and I thought to myself "how's it possible that I, who have climbed Triglav thrice, all of sudden am incapable of walking." I must admit, first few steps on film were harder than any danger definitely mountaineering.

After several small film roles in 1927 and 1928, the critics finally noticed her in the 1928 film��The Last Supper. The same year, Rina met at a Yugoslav embassy party, her future husband Miodrag Đorđević, a shy engineering student from Belgrade, son of a general director of the Royal Post Office.

He asked her out to dinner in a little more upscale restaurant. What he would find out later is that his students account was not enough to pay for the meal. He went to the phone in an attempted to call a friend who could lend him money. Ita figured out what was going on, and since she was already rich, secretly passed him a few bank notes, to spare him the embarrassment. She always liked him, and they understood each other well.

 

Around that time newspapers in Yugoslavia started to sensationalize her love life, as a counter she published an open letter.

Cenjeni g. urednik!

Vsikdar sem bila ljubeznjiva napram g. dopisniku Vašega lista. Želela sem na ta način izražati simpatije, ki sem jih gojila do “Vremena”. Toda nežentlementski dopis Vašega dopisnika od 15. t. m. je zlorabil to mojo ljubeznivost in me prisilil, da Vas naprošam zaradi istine za uvrstitev naslednjih vrstic: Prišla sem domov na oddih, da se pripravim za bodoče delo, ne pa da se zaljubljam kakor goska. Zaradi tega ne potrebujem nikakih senzacij, zlasti pa ne senzacij, ki gredo preko meja dopustnega. Čudim se prostosti, ki si jo jemlje g. Ambrož, da izmišlja kar imena mojih idealov. Prava senzacija bi bila šele, ko bi g. Ambrož nekoliko srečneje uganil moje ideale. Kar pa piše g. Ambrož, je bilo doslej meni in vsem mojim znancem docela neznano. Odpotovala bom tedaj, ko me pokliče novo delo. Senzacijonalni odhod avtomobilov itd. je prosta glupost. 

Da končam. Žal mi je, da se je edini g. O. Ambrož smatral za najpametnejšega od vseh tukajšnjih novinarjev in da je segel po tako nehvaležnem poslu. Naši javnosti je treba servirati resnico o mojem delu in moji osebi, ne pa glupih izmišljotin. Prejmite g. urednik izraze itd.

Ita Rina.

Her breakthrough into European stardom came after taking a role in a controversial film Erotikon by a Czechoslovakian director Gustav Mahaty. As soon as she read the script about a seduced and then abandoned daughter of a guard of a railroad station, she understood it as her big chance, and she was right.

Erotikon premiered in Prague. Czechoslovakian censors cut out the scene of her giving birth to a child, but the movie garnered great success with film critics and audiences across Europe. At the premiere in Paris in Moulin Rouge and the film goers carried her out of the theatre on their hands.

The films success angered the puritans. Especially the french catholic theologian, abbot Betteleme who wrote: "... First, they lie next to each other, and then one to another ... It is true that the cover hides their figures, but it certainly does not hide their movements... The protagonists are shown in particularly long shots, especially Ita... A viewer can recognize her excitement, then her expression of anxiety mixed with longing, then the pain and at the end... I blush while describing the scenes". He went though streets of Paris tearing down the posters that were plastered all over. That only raised the popularity of the film.

In 1930, Rina acted in three films, most notable being the first talking Czechoslovakian film Tonka of the Gallows, which is often named her best role. Meanwhile, she married Miodrag Đorđević in 1931. Although she had announced her retirement from her film career, but she actually continued her acting until the outbreak of World War II. Her last prewar film was crime drama Zentrale Rio.

The situation in Germany was getting tense, especially for anybody who was considered undesirable which included actors who were foreign. She left Germany on the insistence of the then ambassador of Yugoslavia Ivo Andrić. In 1939, very close to the start of WW2 every time she went to work or went home, there was a man who sat in the car. In the beginning he was very quiet and she thought he was an assistant of the producer and that he might represent some new custume, a way of saying thanks to the actors. And then he spoke. At first there were talks of the superiority of the German race, but later his changes because more apparent. "I argued with him in that car" she told to the operator in the studio and retold him the whole conversation. "How could you have dared, that man is from Gestapo." said the operator. The story was retold to Ivo Andrić, and he ordered her and her husband to urgently leave Germany. The taping of the film was mostly done. That night they packed all of their belongs. In the morning she taped a few leftover scenes and absconded for Belgrade that same day.

"Only on the road I understood what's going on. Tanks everywhere, soldiers."

They went to live in Belgrade. She didn't act as the war was starting to rage and had her first child Milan in 1940 and thee years later a daughter Tijana. Her in-laws disagreed with the marriage to a controversial actress at first. And they had a permanent table for themselves and their friends at the local tavern.

After the bombing of Belgrade they moved to Vrnjačka Banja. Life during wartime was hard and she laboured and sold all of her possessions to keep family fed. She even rescued her husband from jail where he landed after he, in a tavern proclaimed that Hitler will have the same fate Napoleon did in Russia.

They moved back to Belgrade after the end of World War II in 1945. Although she was promised several roles in Yugoslav films, all projects were cancelled and she was treated unfavorably. After receipt of a letter she had written to President Tito, Rina began working as a co–production advisor in Avala Film. But she soon left Avala Film and moved to Lovćen Film.

She returned to the silver screen once, in the 1960 film War, about nuclear war fallout, directed by Veljko Bulajić. This was her last role. She got her role not though a studio, but through her husband asking nicely.

“Before the shooting of the film War began, I was approached by a very likable gentleman, that was the husband of Mrs. Ita Rine Miodrag, and in a very discreet, shy way, asked if we can talk and during that conversation, suggested to cast Ita. Honestly speaking, I have already completely forgotten about her. There was war, and they she didn't work for a very long time. She wasn't listed anywhere in cinematography as an active actress. I remembered her from her films. I suggested we meet. So we met, I don't know where in Zagreb or Belgrade, I cannot remember, but she impressed me. She made a strong impression, of a smart woman, an actress who didn't want to be in a film for no other reason, but to be filmed. She wanted to know about her role. I really liked that, so we made a deal.” 

As she suffered from asthma, Rina and her husband moved to Budva (then Yugoslavia, now Montenegro) in 1967. There, she took care of her husband, who was ill with sclerosis. Rina died on 10 May 1979 from an asthmatic attack during the great earthquake that leveled the capital of Montenegro. She was buried a few days later in Belgrade, in the presence of numerous film artists, admirers, friends and family. Her husband died next year.

Best source is in Slovene here:

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 3

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

* 

“Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

Prior to becoming a romantic interest, Spike is everything I discussed in the last section. He is an id and a mirror for Buffy, he’s prone to both romantic exaggeration and cutting realism, and his liminality suggests ambiguity. But outside of “Lovers Walk”, the writing doesn’t actually delve too deeply into Spike’s nature as a romantic. If you stopped the canon at “Restless”, you’d probably think that Spike’s love for Drusilla was intriguing, but that the show hadn’t really gone anywhere with the implications of it, and for all you knew, that might not be an important part of his character anymore. So one of the most interesting things about season five to me, is that in this season in which the writers first consciously, deliberately decide to explore the sexual and romantic tension between Spike and Buffy, they also emphasize Spike’s romanticism more than ever. The choice to define Spike by his romanticism is a choice that follows naturally from everything established about his character, but it was also not an inevitable choice. Therefore, it’s a choice worth looking at in some detail.

Consider everything that “Fool For Love” establishes about Spike, especially the things that contradict what was supposedly canon at the time. It makes Drusilla his sire instead of Angel, meaning that he is sired by a romantic connection, and as a direct result of heartbreak. It makes him a poet living in the middle of the Victorian era, an age at odds with his previous ages of “barely 200” and “126”. Meaning that the writing specifically decides to ignore its canon in order to associate him with an era in which passions would have been repressed (rather than the Romantic era of the early 1800’s or the modern energy of the early 1900’s). Moreover, the episode reveals his entire aesthetic and personality to essentially be a construct. But most tellingly of all, it reveals him to be an idealist. Spike is not just a performance artist; he yearns for the “effulgent”, for something “glowing and glistening” that the “vulgarians” of the world don’t understand. In other words, he yearns for something bigger and more beautiful than life: something romantic. Later, he chases after “death, glory, and sod all else.” Spike may be a “fool for love”, who has a romantic view of romantic love specifically, but the episode is very clear about the fact that he is also a romantic more generally. When Drusilla turns him, she doesn’t tempt him by telling him she’ll love him forever. She tempts him by offering him “something…effulgent”. (Which, in typical Spike form, the episode immediately undercuts by having him say “ow” instead of swooning romantically). The fact that “Fool For Love”, Spike’s major backstory episode, is so determined to paint him as a romantic--and in particular, a disappointed, frustrated romantic--that it is willing to contradict canon to do so, tells you that this choice was important for framing Spike and his new, ongoing thematic role.

I’ve talked in the past about how season five is all about the tension between the mythical and the mortal--between big, grand, sweeping narratives, and the reality of being human. Buffy is the Slayer, but she’s also just a girl who loses her mother. Dawn is the key, but she’s also just a confused and hormonal fourteen-year-old. Willow is a powerful witch, but she also just wants her girlfriend to be okay. Glory is a god, but she’s also a human man named Ben, and finds herself increasingly weakened by his emotions. And Spike embodies this tension perfectly. He’s a soulless vampire with a lifetime of bloodshed behind him, but he’s also this silly, human man who wants to love and be loved. He wants big, grand things, but every time they are frustrated by a Victorian society, a rejection, a chip, a pratfall, or dying with an “ow”. Furthermore, his season five storyline is all about the tension between loving in an exalted, yet often selfish way, versus loving in a “real” or selfless way. 

There was a fascinating piece a ways back that discussed how Spike’s attempts to woo Buffy in season five almost perfectly match the romantic narratives of Courtly Love. In the words of the author:

The term "Courtly Love" is used to describe a certain kind of relationship common in romantic medieval literature. The Knight/Lover finds himself desperately and piteously enamored of a divinely beautiful but unobtainable woman. After a period of distressed introspection, he offers himself as her faithful servant and goes forth to perform brave deeds in her honor. His desire to impress her and to be found worthy of her gradually transforms and ennobles him; his sufferings -- inner turmoil, doubts as to the lady's care of him, as well as physical travails -- ultimately lends him wisdom, patience, and virtue and his acts themselves worldly renown.

You can see for yourself how well that description fits Spike’s arc. He fixates on the torturous, abject nature of his love, and has it in his head that he can perform deeds and demonstrate virtue, and this will prove to Buffy that he is worthy of her. But despite Spike’s gradual ennobling over the course of the season, I think it would be a mistake to see the season as using the Courtly Love narrative uncritically, or even just ironically. The same way it would be a mistake to see season two as using the Gothic uncritically. Spike is as much Don Quixote as he is Lancelot. He is a character that deliberately tries to act out romantic tropes, giving the writing an opportunity to satirize those tropes, including the tropes of chivalric romance. In particular, the writing criticizes Spike’s (very chivalric) fixation on love as a personal agony, something that is more about pain--and specifically, his pain--than building a real relationship. Over and over in season five, he is forced to abandon these sorts of flattering romantic mindsets in favor of a more complicated reality. 

So at first, Spike’s “deeds” tend to be shallow and vaguely transactional. He tries to help Buffy in “Checkpoint” even though she doesn’t want it (and insults her when she doesn’t appreciate it), he asks “what the hell does it take?” when Buffy is unimpressed by him not feeding on “bleeding disaster victims” in “Triangle”, he rants bitterly at a mannequin when Buffy fails to be grateful to him for taking her to Riley in “Into the Woods”, and he is angry and confused when Buffy is unmoved by his offer to stake Drusilla in “Crush”. While these attempts to symbolically reject his evilness are startling for a soulless vampire, and although Spike certainly feels like he is fundamentally altering himself for Buffy’s sake, none of it is based on understanding or supporting Buffy in a way that she would actually find substantial. Moreover, he lashes out when his gestures fail to win her attention or affection. He has an idea in his head of how their romantic scenes should play out, and reacts petulantly when reality fails to live up to it. 

But these incidents of self-interested narrativizing are also continuously contrasted with scenes in which Spike reacts with real generosity, or is surprised when he realizes he’s touched something emotionally genuine. When Buffy seeks him out in “Checkpoint”, his mannerisms instantly change when he realizes she actually needs real help (“You’re the only one strong enough to protect them”), rather than the performed help he offered at the beginning of the episode. At the end of “Fool For Love” he’s struck dumb by Buffy’s grief, and his antagonistic posturing all evening melts away. He abandons his romantic vision of their erotic, life-and-death rivalry in favor of real, awkward emotional intimacy. In “Forever” he tries to anonymously leave flowers for Joyce, and reacts angrily when he’s denied—but this time not because he wanted something from Buffy. Simply because he wanted to do something meaningful. 

This contradictory behavior comes to a head in “Intervention”, the episode in which Spike finally begins to understand the difference between real and transactional generosity. Up until that point, Spike has been reacting both selfishly and unselfishly, but he hasn’t been able to truly distinguish between them, which is why he keeps repeating the same mistakes. Although he touches something real at the end of “Fool For Love”, for instance, he goes on to rifle through Buffy’s intimates in the very next episode. And so “Intervention” has Spike go to extremes of fakeness and reality. He gives up on having the real Buffy, and seeks out an artificial substitute that lets him live out his cheesiest romance novel scripts. It’s important that the Buffybot isn’t just a sexbot, even if he does have sex with her. She’s a bot he plays out romantic scenarios with the way he played them with Harmony in “Crush”, allowing him to almost literally live within a fiction. But then he “gives up” on having Buffy in a way that’s actually real, by offering up his life. He lets himself be tortured, and potentially killed, for no other reason than that to do otherwise would cause Buffy pain. The focus is on her pain, not his. For the first time, he acts like the Knight he’s been trying to be all along. He performs a grand, heroic deed that causes the object of his affection to see him in a different light, and even grant him a kiss. Yet ironically, as part of learning the difference between real and fake, he ceases to press for Buffy’s reciprocation. Through the end of season five, Spike continues to act the selfless Knight, assisting Buffy in her heroism without asking for anything in return. Which culminates in his declaration that he knows Buffy “will never love him”, even after he’s promised her the deed of protecting Dawn, and even though she allows a kind of intimacy by letting him back in her house. He proves that he sees those gestures for what they are, rather than in a transactional light. The irony of the way Spike fulfills the narrative of chivalric romance, is that his ennobling involves letting aspects of that narrative go. 

In a Courtly Love narrative, the object of the Knight’s affection is fundamentally pedestalized. The Knight himself might be flawed, but the woman he pines after is not. She is “divinely beautiful” and “unobtainable”, something above him and almost more than human. This is why it’s so comic that in Don Quixote, which was a direct satire of chivalric romance, Alonso Quixano’s “lady love” is a vulgar peasant farmgirl who has no idea who he is. (Think of the way Spike asks if Buffy is tough in “School Hard” or threatens to “take her apart” despite “how brilliant she is” in “The Initiative”, followed by scenes where Buffy is acting like the teenage girl she is. Or how Giles in “Checkpoint” says that Buffy has “acquired a remarkable focus” before cutting to Buffy yawning.). Although it’s true that Buffy is beautiful, and supernatural, and profoundly moral, she is also very human, and the writing is very concerned with that humanity. Season five in particular, as I’ve mentioned, is preoccupied with the duality of Buffy’s mythic and mortal nature. Thus it becomes significant that Buffy is assigned such a heightened role in Spike’s chivalric narrative. Just Spike is at once Lancelot and Don Quixote, Buffy is at once Achilles, Dulcinea, and a coming-of-age protagonist. 

And part of the “lesson” of Spike’s arc is for him to see both sides of the roles they embody. One of my favorite things about the scene in Buffy’s house in “The Gift” is how adroitly it conveys the dualities of both Buffy and Spike with simple, but poetic imagery and language. Buffy stands above Spike on her steps, conveying her elevated role, and Spike honors the way her heroic status has inspired him by physically looking up to her as he explains that he expects nothing from her. But by expecting nothing from her, and promising to protect her sister, he also honors the fact that she is a real person with no obligation to him, and a younger sister she cares about more than anything. He also honors his own duality by at once making Knightly promises, and acknowledging that he sees through his former delusions: “I know that I’m a monster, but you treat me like a man.” In “Fool For Love” he tried to acknowledge the same duality of realism and romance, by declaring to Cecily that “I know I’m a bad poet, but I’m a good man.” But at the time, he was an innocent, whose desire to be seen, and whose romantic avoidance of “dark, ugly things”, left him unprepared to understand how Cecily really saw him (similar to Spike’s insistence in “Crush” that what he and Buffy have “isn’t pretty, but it’s real” just before Buffy locks him out). Spike is a character defined simultaneously by continuous disillusionment and dogged aspiration, which is why he makes perfect sense as a character to embody a season torn between the pain of being human, and the wonder of the gift of love.

Fittingly, the season ends with Spike’s most devastating loss of innocence of all. He fails to be the hero for Buffy or Dawn (note that Knightly language he uses on the tower: “I made a promise to a lady”), and he loses the woman he loves. He may have become more virtuous, but unlike in a chivalric romance, that virtue wins him neither Buffy, nor something flattering like “world reknown.” The climax of the “The Gift” is full of romance—a god, a troll hammer, a damsel on a tower, a heroic self-sacrifice, a vampire transformed into a Knight—but the end result is that Buffy is dead, in part because he wasn’t good enough, and all that he and the Scoobies can do is grieve. Stories got Spike nothing, even when reality finally lived up to them. It is a swan song to the myths of childhood, and on the other side of Glory’s portal, Spike and the other characters will have to confront a world where those myths have been left behind.

part 4: “But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

[jockpoetry]

supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?

When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.

Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).” 

So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me. 

I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.

First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing. 

It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not. 

He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong. 

It’s Instantly Feminine. 

I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only. 

I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.

IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways. 

On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!

I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.

Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally. 

Or they do it as a joke. 

Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character. 

Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode. 

Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.

We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).

Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again. 

Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.

Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.

Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine. 

On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole). 

My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.

As a feminine character.

This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.   

Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them. 

Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it. 

They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card. 

Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered. 

It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.

He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters. 

I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr. 

I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above). 

Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!

Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.

I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.

It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.

Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.

When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and  Again and Again and Again). 

So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number. 

And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously. 

Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell. 

The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to. 

The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance. 

They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.

Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.

Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is. 

In conclusion....

[saffronique]

I Read Leopardstar's Honor So You Don't Have To: A Review (Not Spoiler Free)

Oh Leopardstar. A cat who has long divided the fanbase as a leader beloved by some and despised by others. After years of waiting (for some) she was finally given her own super edition. In a word it was... underwhelming.

Introduction:

The book opens during Leopardstar's kithood days. The first scene is adorably heartwarming- readers are treated to Leopardkit and her denmates playing the warriors version of hide and seek, and there are some absolutely adorable moments here, such as Crookedjaw helping Leopardkit escape the seeker by whisking her away on his back, and Mudfur doting on his daughter. The scene takes a sharp turn when Skykit, one of Leopardkit's denmates, lures her away from the group to shove her head underwater and berate her for giving away Skykit's hiding place in the last round of hide and seek. Skykit's actions are startlingly cruel here, as she tells Leopardkit that she's a rotten kit that killed her own mother and that she is doomed to the dark forest like all the other murderers. This understandably disturbs and traumatizes Leopardkit, and when she speaks to her father about it, Mudfur reassures her that she is good, and that Brightsky came to him in a dream to say that Leopardkit will one day save RiverClan. Leopardkit latches on to this dream, and the book follows her through relatively disjointed moments in her life as she tries to live up to her destiny.

Pacing:

The pacing of the book is an absolute nightmare. We don't spend long enough in any one part of Leopardstar's life to see her have any meaningful interactions with other cats, and thus the majority of the relationships she has seem surface level at best, forced at worse, with Whiteclaw being a notable exception. She spends maybe 3 chapters as a kit, 3 as an apprentice, 3 as a warrior, 2 as a mentor, and so on. As a result, we don't actually get the opportunity to see Leopardstar learning or struggling in a meaningful way at any point. We're TOLD she's a hard worker, that she's dedicated and loyal, but the book gives you little chance to actually see it. The book slows down long enough to force an almost love story with Frogtail, which Leopardstar ultimately gives up on to focus on her work, but then a few chapters later Frogtail is dead and it's back to jumping around through her life.

The book really suffers from a lack of side characters and relationships to help things feel connected. The only real through line is this silly dream from Mudfur-not even an official prophecy- that Leopardstar focuses on to the exclusion of all else. Compare this to Crookedstar's Promise and Bluestar's Prophecy- while both books feature a greater destiny that the characters focus on throughout the book, they are given the chance to develop meaningful relationships that last for large chunks of the book. Bluestar has her relationship with her sister and her rivalry with Thistleclaw, and even her friendship with Thrushpelt, all of which allow her story to feel genuine and naturally lend themselves to interesting subplots. Crookedstar has his relationship with Mapleshade, his romance with Willowbreeze, his desire to prove himself to his mother- again, all things that make him feel like a well rounded, multifaceted character. Leopardstar has her dream, and ONLY her dream. None of her friendships last more than a few chapters before the other character is killed off. Her most meaningful relationship, with her apprentice and adopted son Whiteclaw, has the potential to round out Leopardstar's character, but Whiteclaw's fate has been predetermined. We all know he's going to die in the gorge because we see it happen in Fire and Ice. After Whiteclaw's death, Leopardstar briefly has a compelling relationship with Silverstream after she discovers her relationship with Graystripe. Silverstream and Leopardstar have opposing priorities of love and duty, and the interactions between them are an interesting insight into both characters. Silverstream actively rebukes Leopardstar's mindset and challenges her priorities, something that would have been invaluable in making Leopardstar's choice to join Tigerstar seem more consequential. But Silverstream too is doomed to die, and by the time the book reaches its climax, Mudfur is the only cat left to challenge Leopardstar's choices. Instead of letting the rift between father and daughter build, Leopardstar has no problem simply banishing her father and medicine cat for disagreeing with her. No one that she cares about is left to challenge her for her decisions, and thus there are no real stakes to the choices she makes. Sure, Stonefur dies and its awful, but the book doesn't bother to develop any real friendship or camaraderie between the two, so it doesn't feel as impactful as it should. The book concludes with Leopardstar understanding that she's wrong and Mudfur convincing her that she's going to save the Clan from the disaster she helped create. At the very least, Leopardstar seems to understand the problems with this and points out that it's not really her saving the Clans, its Firestar. This is completely true, as she has no role in Tigerstar's downfall and no role in stopping Scourge. The best that can be said for Leopardstar is that she doesn't get in the way of Firestar here.

She faces no real struggles aside from her father's doubt as to her ability to lead, a dynamic already witnessed between Brambleberry and Crookedstar and done much better.

Awful editing:

This book suffers from an almost unbelievable lack of care on the part of the editors, with big chunks of text very obviously cut and pasted to different parts of the story without any effort to edit out nonsequitors. The most painful instance of this revolves around Stormpaw and Featherpaw's apprenticeship. In one scene, Leopardstar comments on the fact that Primrosekit and Pikekit will be made apprentices any day (Reedkit is inexplicably absent here, and Perchkit seems to have died offscreen though it is never mentioned) and notes that Stormkit and Featherkit still have their kit fluff and look tiny next to their older denmates. A couple paragraphs later, we see Featherkit and Stormkit being apprenticed to Mistyfoot and Stonefur, in a paragraph that EXPLICITLY STATES that it's the very next day. The other kits have mysteriously been apprenticed already. Boulder and Jaggedtooth of ShadowClan are inexplicably present at the ceremony, despite there being no mention of their arrival at any point and Leopardstar refusing Tigerstar's offer to join their two Clans together the day before. A few pages later (yes, literally just pages later, that's how atrocious the pacing is) we cut to a battle between RiverClan and ThunderClan at the Sunningrocks, where Stonefur and Mistyfoot's parentage is revealed. Leopardstar doesn't actually hear this, but she does overhear them discussing it in the most painfully forced way possible moments later. Leopardstar finds herself absolutely HORRIFIED that she's apprenticed two half-Clan cats to half-Clan mentors.... and then a few chapters later, after forming TigerClan, Tigerstar asks her if she still intends to make Mistyfoot and Stonefur mentors to Featherkit and Stormkit despite their parentage, to which Leopardstar responds that they are still loyal RiverClan warriors. Yes, I'm serious.

Leopardstar's character:

This super edition is nothing but a showcase of the absolute worst aspects of Leopardstar as a character. Throughout the book she is shown as racist, battle hungry, self-centered, foolish, and utterly lacking in compassion or even pity for any Clan other than her own. She is constantly making racist generalizations about cats from other Clans, actively wishes for WindClan's downfall, sides with Tigerstar simply because Fireheart is a kittypet, and, perhaps most disturbingly, tries to murder Fireheart in cold blood because of his kittypet background. This book literally does nothing to endear the reader to Leopardstar, it makes her out to be the most despicable, honorless cat imaginable. And honestly, if you're not a Leopardstar fan, I think that's one of the most compelling things about this book. The desire to see what atrocities Leopardstar would commit next was what kept me interested in the story, honestly it was the only reason I finished it. There was something morbidly fascinating about watching a character so self absorbed and lacking in compassion interact with the world around her. It was enjoyable in a way to see a character so deeply set in the beliefs that the series has repeatedly established as wrong time and time again. Pacing and editing aside, this difference in philosophy is a breath of fresh air after the same recycled plotlines and moral messages that the series has been using for years. This book isn't going to make you like Leopardstar, but it is going to make you love to hate her.

What the book did right:

While there were very few positives to the book, it wasn't completely lacking in value. The book succeeded in developing a deeply meaningful relationship between Whiteclaw and Leopardstar that, thankfully, wasn't a romance. Their mother/son and mentor/apprentice relationship does a good job at setting up Leopardstar's grudge against ThunderClan over Whiteclaw's death as we see it play out in the first arc. Honestly, Leopardstar as a character would have been served far better if this had just been a novella detailing the relationship between these two. That was probably the only real thing of value in the book, honestly. Aside from that, Frogtail and Leopardstar's relationship, while I personally found it completely unnecessary, addressed a topic I've been hoping to see in warriors for a while now-- two characters who love each other but decide that the things they want out of life are mutually incompatible, and part ways amicably. Leafpool x Crowfeather and Bluestar x Oakheart both almost did this, but fell short because it was only ever really one character who decided to end the relationship. Unfortunately, the value in this message is somewhat diminished by the fact that Leopardstar later laments multiple times that she should've given up on her goals and just had kits with Frogtail instead, an absolutely disgusting conclusion that plays into the recurring problem of misogyny in warriors where women aren't allowed to be both mothers and hold a position of power, they have to choose between the two.

All in all, this Super Edition is easily the worst so far in terms of plot, pacing, and writing, but I still found some enjoyment in reading the perspective of such a selfish, cruel protagonist.

[liloelsagranger]

Night shift - finally a new Rocketshipping-fanfiction

My dear friends,

it’s been a while since I last posted an entry. Let me tell you why and what, besides Covid-19, made me pause from publishing fanfictions over the last couple of months. Of course, Switzerland was very affected by the pandemic and still is today. We had numerous lock-downs or as Swiss people call it “slow downs”. My mother got very sick last year, I almost lost her. The doctors said she would only live two or three more days, but my mom is a fighter. She had to stay at the hospital for months, she endured countless medical examinations, had to take meds and slowly learned to live again. I’m so proud of my mother that she was strong and determined to get better. When she turned back home, I started to take care of her and I hate to leave her on her own, even if we’re talking about half an hour or less. Right now, she’s doing quite good, actually, we’re on vacation and she makes a great effort to participate in life in Italy. She’s my role-model! She will never be the same as before, but she won’t give up, she wakes up every morning to make progress. I prayed for her and her well-being, I prayed every single night she might get another chance and now we’re here at the beach and dining in fancy restaurants. It’s been a horrible year for everyone, a year full of sorrow, tears and desperation, a year where I was constantly afraid, the hospital would call me with some bad news, but she did it! She survived and she fights for her life! So proud! Good news is: I passed my doctoral exams and I’m officially allowed to call myself Dr. phil. des. Melanie C. but that won’t ever stop me from loving Team Rocket so here it is - a brand new Rocketshipping-fanfiction for you guys. LOVE YOU! Night shift

Chapter 1:

It was past ten o’clock when that miserable looking guy entered the diner. He inconspicuously sat down in the farthest corner of the café and immediately hid his face behind the menu card. Nevertheless, Jessie the waitress could make out the pathetic expression on his face, how he was cowering like a whipped dog. She had seen quite a bit in this diner. Drunks, thugs, addicts and other needy people who asked for a sympathetic ear, compassion and understanding, but that guy was different. He suffered terribly, but did not dare to communicate, instead he hid from the world so as not to attract attention and quietly endure his fate. Jessie had to do something about it. Of course, she didn’t want to play the Good Samaritan. She knew the tricks of the men who entered this diner. Most of the time, they told the waitress tall tales, hoping to be comforted, whatever they meant by that. But this young man did not make a shady impressionHe was well dressed, looked well-groomed, and Jessie was especially struck by his bright emerald green eyes, the only thing in his face that had not yet been veiled by grief and sorrow. She decided to do something about his displeasure.

“Did you have a rough day?” she asked while disinfecting the table.

He looked briefly into her eyes and nodded. “That’s one way to put it,” he answered, the gaze immediately lowered again.

This would be a taciturn conversation, but Jessie didn’t give up easily, she was a natural at making even rocks talk.

“Listen! No matter what happened, I’ve seen or heard some things. If I can help you in any way, my name is Jessie and I’m in charge of this table today. Let me just get the gum out from under your seat and get you a cold drink. What would you like?” She pulled a spatula from her apron and rubbed away the remains of the spoiled brats that marred her diner.

‘Wow,’ the young man thought to himself. ‘A strong, self-confident woman who lends a hand herself and who’s not above cleaning up dirt.’ Their eyes met briefly, and he forced a wry smile.

“You know, kid. You can’t rely on anyone. If you want to get everything done, do it yourself and don’t trust anyone. This world doesn’t give you anything for granted!” She briefly wiped the back of his chair before disappearing behind the counter and pouring the young man an ice-cold Coke.

“I have rarely seen you so concerned about a customer. Normally you show yourself aloof and only take the order, so as not to get involved in embarrassing conversations. Must be a really great pike, this pathetic creature in the far corner. Could it be that you’ve got a tiny crush on this guy?” For Eddy, teasing his best friend was the greatest pleasure. He didn’t know her like that. Jessie usually resisted any kind of small talk. This was due to her dark past, when she had repeatedly fallen for advances from men who were never looking for a steady relationship, but for a quick fix. Eddy had witnessed this bad time of his friend, how her heart was broken, how she was badly played with, and how she was simply dropped like a hot potato. Jack was the worst example of them all. While Jessie was already hearing the wedding bells ringing, he was making love to the women of the Strip and deceiving Jessie night after night with other broads. Jessie was devastated when she found out Jack was cheating on her. She was furious, not even at her lying boyfriend, but at herself for having been so stupid as to trust a man.

Jessie gave Eddy a light pat on the head. “Don’t be silly! That time is over. I can take care of myself, I don’t need male support for that. I’m a big girl, I make my own dough, and I keep my head above water pretty well. No, not a chance, I’ve sworn off flirting.” Nevertheless, she caught herself as her gaze wandered to the young man in the corner. “Oh yes, this time is definitely over,” Eddy smirked.

“Jessie, could you bring us a side of fries, please?” Misty’s order echoed throughout the hall. The twenty-year old waved her hands. She was used to speaking loudly, almost shouting, to attract guests to her daily water Pokémon show. Sometimes she walked up and down the streets of the Strip all day in the blazing hot sun, trying to win people for her underwater attraction. As an excellent student, she could have taught at any college, but she had decided early on to get into show business and make her living doing what she really loved, joined by Dewgong and Starmie. Her parents had not agreed with this decision at all, it was wasted talent, they had claimed, and had summarily turned Misty out the door. Since then, she had been struggling through life on her own, but could always count on Jess, the diner and her two best friends, Ash and Brock, young people who were also not favoured by fate.

“Temper your voice, twerp!” Jessie couldn’t help but grin. She spread the ketchup bottles around the table, hoping Ash wouldn’t spill on himself and the diner again. His constant companion Pikachu immediately hopped on his shoulder, grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. Ash and his Pokémon were carnies. He had trained his friend well and attracted many spectators with his performance. Most of them felt sorry for the guy and tipped generously. That’s why Ash was able to invite his friends to the diner every night, a place that gave them hope where they could experience security. They were convinced that nothing would ever disturb this idyll and that fate, for better or worse, had taken its course.

“Who’s that guy over there?” Brock wanted to know. He had barely sold chocolate and roses tonight. The others held back, but they were certain that their friend was just too pushy with women and that’s why he only collected rejections instead of green bills.

“I’ve never seen him here before. Must be from another area. I can’t tell you for the life of me why he’s wearing a suit at theses temperatures, he looks pretty pathetic to me anyways,” Jessie replied.

“Maybe his car has stalled,” Ash suggested, “and now he was forced to wander through the desert until the tasty aromas from your diner brought him back from his delirium.”

“Or,” Brock interfered, “he had to flee his own wedding because his wife is a real pain in the ass, unlike our sweet Misty,” Brock oohed at his friend. “Forget it, Brock! You and me, this will never happen!” She gave him a gentle poke.

“Enough now with your naïve speculations! Just let him enjoy his drink. We’re closing soon, so get going,” Jessie dismissed their absurd ideas with a wave of her hand, but at this point no one knew how right Brock was.

Dark thoughts hunted the young man. He knew what he would face at home if he was late. Beatings, torture, rebuke, harassment, were just a few words to describe his failed relationship. Unconsciously, he stroked his scarred arms.

“Can I get you something to eat?” Jessie pulled him out of the maelstrom of bad thoughts, of course she had noticed the wounds, but maybe he had gotten those injuries at work. The young man rummaged some coins out of his pants and let them jingle on the table. “Is that enough for a cheese sandwich?” Jessie hated small change, but she would make an exception for him. A friendly smile, a quick nod, and she passed on the order.

“Something’s wrong with this guy,” she whispered to Eddy. “He’s scarred, bruised and pays with penny coins. Possibly a vagrant.” Eddy couldn’t help but grin. “That guy’s been keeping you busy all night, Jess. What’s the matter with you? Are you getting weak?”

The young man could not overhear the conversation between the waiters, but he was sure they were talking about him. He sure made a rather frightening impression, but that was a private matter and not something you shared with a waitress in a diner.

His gaze drifted to the daily paper, which had two faces emblazoned on it: Butch and Cassidy. He had never heard of this odd couple, but according to the news, theses two were causing quite a stir and were terrifying the Strip.

“Oh, so you’ve already spotted them, those two knuckleheads! They keep the Strip in suspense, and heads roll when the taxes don’t add up,” Jessie served him the cheese sandwich and gave him a slight smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” He thanked her and took a hearty bite of his dinner.

The last half hour flew by and the remaining guests left the diner to spend the night on the Strip, as very few had a roof over their heads. Jessie set about cleaning up and Eddy checked the register.

The young man stood up and made his way towards the door. But before he left the diner, he glanced back at Jessie for a moment. A sigh escaped him. What if…?

Jessie returned his gaze and watched him go until the young man disappeared. She walked right up to his table and found a little note on the receipt.

“Thanks for treating me like a human being, James.” 

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Hermitopia AU Conclusion

The last ask has been answered, the masterposts are complete, and (although art, writing, and Discord discussion are still accepted and encouraged) it is finally time to officially wrap up the Hermitopia AU! Because this was such a massive event - and no small thing to moderate - there will be a pause in blog activity for a day or so before the inbox will open for regular headcanons again. I apologize in advance for the wait!

In the mean time, I would just like to say: I am so, so thankful to everyone who participated in the AU. Your ideas and your creativity have made this blog a better place, whether you sent in one headcanon or dozens, and I am constantly in awe of the energy and enthusiasm of this community. Thank you, all of you, for making this universe we’ve created as vast and as interesting as it turned out to be.

Below are a collection of my own ideas, for those of you who like a satisfying (but still not entirely closed-ended) ending. These events take place as many days, months, or years into the future as you need them to make your own ideas work, and none of them are set in stone. You can take all of them, some of them, or none of them as truth if you want to...but either way, it has been an honour to build on a project like this one alongside you all.

And with that...the Hermitopia AU concludes! Finished, or barely begun, like so many good projects are. Have a great day everyone, and happy headcanoning!

- Mod Shade

"People of Hermitopia."

The man on the screen shifts, running a nervous hand across his bald head and squaring his shoulders. The broadcast quality is unstable, but it's more than enough for every citizen in the city to recognize who's speaking.

"This is your Concorp Branch Director, Cub. As I'm sure you are aware, I am the head of Project VEX in this city. You all know the VEX initiative as groundbreaking, life-saving, a shining success and a step towards a new era for humanity...and some of you may even see me as a hero for creating it.”

He closes his eyes, a brief look of pained remorse crossing his face. For a moment, he looks utterly defeated, almost small in the face of his impromptu audience of thousands...but finally, he fixes the camera with a steady gaze once more and begins the great unravelling.

“Maybe it was all those things, in the beginning. Maybe *I* was, once. But today, after far too long, I have some confessions to make...."

~

- For years, Cub had been desperately scrambling to hold the tatters of his life’s work together. Project VEX had started so well, and he had poured so much of himself into it, that when the failed experiments and rebellions became more and more frequent he was unable to accept a change of course. He covered up the project’s failings to maintain funding and public image, but mostly to maintain his own image to himself - that he was still the hero he’d set out to be and create at the project’s start. However, his denial was wearing on him heavily, and eventually he had a breakdown and decided to go public rather than keep drowning the city in lies.

- This breakdown was prompted by xB, who after his own moral breakthrough, confronted Cub and urged him to stop withholding knowledge and truth. xB also informed Cub of his own unknown truth - that the unintended power of his presence was the thing that was keeping the experiments successful when Cub was around. This was the final straw in breaking through Cub’s denial

- Along with Cub’s broadcasted speech, files were released to the media containing proof against most if not all of Concorp’s falsehoods. Many names were cleared of crimes that had been pinned on them, including Beef, Impulse, Doc, Cleo, and the majority of the other Unrestrained and Unaffiliated former VEX trainees that the company had tried to cast away

- Understandably, it took a very long time for the chaos to die down and all that information to be processed by society and the justice system. It may be years before the community can see some of their heroes in the proper light again, but at least they are now free to begin rebuilding their reputation without being labeled as villains and traitors.

- Those who actually did commit villainous acts are given a fair trial, with consideration for their motives and the new Concorp information as extra evidence

- The VEX program is withdrawn by Cub’s superiors and put under a strict review. It is reborn after a massive restructuring, with a new director, new limitations on what experiments can and cannot be attempted, and a greatly extended screening and training program to reduce the chances of graduates becoming villains. The new project will produce far fewer heroes with much subtler powers at first...but if that is the cost for the safety and stability of the city, then most people would agree that it is a small price to pay.

- Cub is not permitted to work on the new Project VEX in a management role, ever again. It’s a harsh blow for him, to have to watch his dream from the sidelines...but he knows he gave up the right to guide it when he abused the control that it gave him. At least his superiors allowed him something to do while he awaits trial: he is present (although guarded) at every new VEX trainee’s first experiment, lending his power to increase their chances of success.

- Mayor Scar resigned willingly. Nobody had enough evidence to accuse him of anything, and he didn’t plan on giving them a reason to look by trying to stay in office. Instead he chose to make his exit from both Concorp and government matters complete, at last. Or so he thinks. Who knows? Maybe he’ll learn what most of the people he’s helped to manipulate have already found out: that connections and old grudges don’t easily lose their grip.

- Scar is replaced by TFC, voted in by almost unanimous community support and funded by donations from all the people he’s saved over the years

- The greater Convex company offers a choice to the survivors of the old program: Come to work under their new, more honorable system, or take a generously large settlement and be free to build new lives

- Team ZIT declines the job offer, pooling their payment and using it to buy a shiny new base together for their independent hero venture. There are still a handful of real villains to fight, after all, and there are bound to be more once people start successfully copying Concorp technology. Now that Impulse is back at their side, they wouldn’t give up their roles saving the community for anything - but they’re done with being used by some guy behind a desk. From now on, justice and bravery will be their only guides!

- ...justice, bravery, and TFC, that is. He isn’t their boss by any means, but the more experienced hero does drop by often between his mayoral duties to make sure the youngsters stay out of trouble and in one piece.

- The nHo, according to all official records, took their settlements and split up, leaving Hermitopia far behind. However, Team ZIT suspects that the vigilante life hasn’t left them so easily. They’d be the last ones to report the odd sighting of a whipping vine or a distant masked figure, though - unregulated as they are, the nHo’s shady methods for a good cause prove useful from time to time. (And their base has really good tea. Okay, maybe it’s a little bit more than “the occasional sighting”...)

- Ren settles back into his meadow cabin, but after that massive release of info and a long, LONG period of processing, he now has Iskall, Stress, and Cleo as regular visitors. Every morning he wakes up and forgets for a moment that it’s real, that they’re really alive and with him again...but they are, and he is happier than he ever thought he would be again.

- Jevin and Mumbo visit the cabin occasionally. It took a while for Mumbo to get his memory back, but he now remembers all of his friendship with Iskall and Grian, and they come together for fun and shenanigans regularly with the rest of the cabin crew.

- Grian still spends his time looking for his clones, but honestly, he doesn’t mind. The adventure always did hold more meaning than the conclusion for him, and now, he has friends to help out!

- False disappears into thin air to wait out the fallout of Concorp’s information release. She snags herself a quiet job and a small apartment on the outskirts of town, fully intending to return to her mercenary work just as soon as the dust has settled...next week, maybe. Or the week after that. Or maybe, once the garden has been fully planted. She’s really enjoying having time for stuff like that now...but she’ll get back to work, really, she will! Soon.

- Joe and Cleo tearfully reunite through xB, and Joe becomes another frequent visitor to the cabin. Cleo also visits Joe’s base in the time exclusion zone, but she really prefers the cabin. Time skips are disorienting, and they make her want to sneeze.

- Keralis and Void come to an agreement. Xisuma isn’t entirely clear on what that agreement is - something to do with an allowance of cookies from Biffa’s bakery in exchange for not killing anyone - but he’s more than happy to be less sore and tired all the time.

Hermitopia is making progress. Real progress, this time - not just the breaking of humanity’s limitations, but breaking them with true heroic care, with the good of everyone in mind. There are some hurts that will never fully heal, mistakes that can be learned from but not undone, and yet...now there is a path, a way forward. It won’t be easy, but a kind and gentle future waits for them, welcome and well deserved. They will figure it out, together.

And together, they will step forward, into the new world that each of them has helped to create.