#the retail simps

[bandcampsnoop]

1/27/24.

Great name, great cover. I thought this might be metal or hardcore punk, but this is just great rock n' roll. Heavy Möther II are a Bloomington, Indiana based band that looks to have members (Eddie Flowers and Craig Bell) who have been playing music since the 1970s and have a LONG music history.

Heavy Möther II is the second incarnation of Heavy Mother. This album brings to mind rock in the vein of Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks, Endless Boogie and The Hard Quartet. But, look at the bands represented here: The Gizmos, Crawlspace, Rocket From the Tombs, The Retail Simps, and The Cowboys. "Omnivore" is the only song available, but I've listened to it a lot.

Previous Heavy Mother was released by Feel It Records. Heavy Möther II is being handled by Total Punk Records.

[nevesmose]

The chamber was a holding cell poorly disguised as a bedroom, split down the middle by a thick transparent barrier. The inner half was dark, depthless and black as the void.

"And which of my brothers are you?" Konrad Curze asked from somewhere within that darkness.

"Ferrus Manus," his visitor said plainly. "Primarch of the Tenth."

[freesidexjunkie]

sitting on campus overhearing poli sci students (which is my daily struggle) and this kid just said "yeah I found the textbook online illegally but I didn't wanna get it illegally"

coward. rip to you. im just built different I guess.

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Pretty sure sales guy Tyler knows that me and Elliott are a couple. (It's fine, he's the person least likely to rat us out because he's good friends with both of us) I suspect this because the below scenario has happened multiple times:

All three of us go to the back room (after closing Tyler and I lowkey just follow Elliott around so we can chitchat while we clean)

Tyler leaves the back room, Elliott and I slyly remain behind and go behind a shelf to kiss

A minute or so I hear the door open very very slowly and almost silently

Elliott and I get our hands off each other so we can go look

It's Tyler

Like if he was just wondering where we were, he'd open the door like a normal person. So I think he knows what we're up to and is trying to catch us. Honestly very iconic. I kinda wish we could tell him upfront because he's already a very enjoyable third wheel, I think there'd be some great comedic potential if he knew of his third wheel status and could capitalize on it

[kitsched]

i think a lot about the couple that came into my retail job before covid obviously on a date and the girl asked me to make her anything as long as it was really sweet and she liked the drink I made her so much she wanted to tip me 20$. i hope that her and her boyfriend got married and they have a beautiful life together.

[heartfullofleeches]

loser catboy reader you say? I'll take your entire stock!

Loser Catboy reader who sees the popular of cutesy, soft streamers and sets up a camera to rake in the dough and finally replace that body pillow they clawed up during their last late night session browsing the internet with their doors locked. On stream they're just another adorable soft kitten, but in reality they're a greasy, sweaty mess that probably should have been neutered at some point. Nearly throws themself out the window everytime their chat calls them their sweet kitty and wants to call them things that'd definitely get them banned if their simps didn't come racing to defend them.

It's when they play a PVP game that their future nature is revealed as they hurl insults that'd make a middle school bully teary eyed at their options which they quickly apologize for, but their viewers love this side of them all the same. Everyone has their bad days, they assure - few willfully oblivious to the fact that this is they're everyday. The masochists of their viewers beg them to act like this more often and maybe direct a bit of their harsh language at them. Reader calls them all freaks while still happily getting off to nudes they send in

-

Yan Chat Member: You saved my life. Without you, I don't know if I could live another day. You're so beautiful and your fur looks so soft. If I could play with your tails I'd die a happy person. Mortal possessions mean nothing to me now, so please take all my money

Loser CatBoy, holding up their hands like paws: Thank you so much for your donation! I'm so glad I could may your day a little better, nya. Remember we're all routing for you, friend! Have a good night!

[Reader turns off the stream, rolling a blunt filled with weed and catnip]

Loser CatBoy: You haven't had to work retail topay your rent in two years, Y/n. Stay strong.

-

Yan Chat Member: Ahhh! Please stick your claws in me someday, kitten! ><

Loser Catboy: how bout I stick my cock in your mouth and pour my "milk" down your fuckin throat, loser-

...

Loser Catboy: Quit sending your fucking addresses in the chat.

-

Loser Catboy: How much would you guys pay me to jerk off on screen lol

Chat:

"My life savings."

"All of my vital organs and blood."

"Real question is how much would I have to pay for you to do it on my face."

"I'm outside your window."

Loser Catboy, getting hard over their desperation and already jerking off under the table: Fucking freaks-

[ozzgin]

if we're talking about hot santa (the only time pre-december xmas talk doesnt activate an ex-retail worker's rage within me) david harbour as santa in violent night is still everything to me

I'm currently simping over a different kind of Santa...On that topic, if you find him as hot as I do, come back in a few days. I'm working on a spicy reader insert doodle. 👀

[bandcampsnoop]

5/17/24.

Let's do a 2nd day of Dot Dash Sounds (Brooklyn, New York). Yesterday, we posted about Red Herrings, and today we look at the first MixTape put together by TomDash. I'm not sure how he pulled this off, but the tape leads off with Straw Man Army and then has contributions from Ibex Clone, Retail Simps and Emily Robb.

Bands cover the likes of Brian Eno, The Clean, Bill Direen and Moe Tucker.

MixTape Volume II just released and the results are just as impressive as Volume I. Let's hope TomDash keeps up the pace and quality after a very impressive first year.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Major Blog Update: Inbox Cleared, Life Updates, a big thank you and More!

First of all the big one:

The deed is done...The Inbox is dead.

Long live the inbox.

To get a fresh start, I've deleted the current inbox of all my asks.

The inbox memes, the nightmares...they're finally over...

ANYWAYS, feel free to send in any request you may have as per usual, just figured I clear that damn thing finally out considering I've had asks that are three years old in there.

Right now I'm really getting into Honkai: Star Rail since Natlan kinda killed my enjoyment of Genshin, but those gals I will still love and write for (I mean, I'm sure as heck not changing the blog url) so don't feel discouraged if you came to this blog because of my Genshin content. And of course my other fandoms are still good to rock and roll!

One last thing before the cut:

I want to thank EVERY ONE of you for following this blog and sticking around with my goofy ah for so long.

I genuinely get excited to read any message or request you put under my posts or inbox, whether it be feedback or joking around! And I know we have the memes going on about me being drowned, please know I do genuinely take the time to look at every single one that comes in everyday, even if I didn't say anything or respond. And it means the world to me that ya'll like my writing enough to continue asking of me.

You all are the reason I even put the effort I do in this blog for so many years, from my newer followers to those who have followed me since my first blog. I could not ask for a better group than ya'll.

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, and let's have a great year together!

ANYWHO: For those who care enough, this is what's been going on with me for the last few months.

Work:

As for why I've been absent for a while: simply put because I work a retail job. Thankfully nothing too bad, it's just normal scheduling and it IS work I very much enjoy and get paid relatively well. My love for writing is still very strong as is my simping, so no worries, I don't plan on going anywhere.

I DO greatly apologize for making everyone wait for literally ANYTHING, doubly so if you had an ask I didn't get to yet. I wanted to honestly save everything into my drafts, but alas I could only choose some select ones.

You're more than welcome to send it back in, and since things have calmed down I SHOULD be getting to them a lot faster.

Genshin:

In regards to what I said earlier about Genshin: Natlan kind of killed any enjoyment I had playing, characters were REALLY unappealing to me, it made my friends stop playing so therefore I stopped as well as that was the major reason I still had it installed. I don't really plan on adding anyone from Natlan or anyone else from that game in the future, so apologies if you were looking forward to that from me specifically.

Star Rail has been filling the hole in my heart and honestly? I have a lot more writing freedom writing the gals from there, but again, don't feel afraid to send me any genshin request! I still simp for my Mondstadt women after all.

Other things I've been doing/Ideas for the blog:

I've also been playing games (and getting distracted) with my irl friends and trying to catch up on my hobbies to prevent myself from burning out, Minecraft has been a big thing lately for me again: specifically Pixelmon LMAO.

For 2025 though, I plan to at least post an imagine once a week starting next week since things are still settling down and I have to get my work schedule.

I might also start posting (Eventually) my personal writing projects here to get feedback and possibly go to AO3 to post my crossover series since Tumblr isn't really the place to be doing so (Chief among them my FE3H AU: House Isekai), or if demand is high enough I'll post it here.

Oh, and with this major update I have once again updated my banner, not that it's really important, just that I put a good amount of effort in it, more than you'd think for how simple it is. I also want to see if anyone even gets my reference LMAO

Once this post goes live, I plan to add a few new characters, starting with the Commander from Girls' Frontline but we'll see how it goes.

I think that's all I got for right now, so see ya soon guys!

- Chris

[luminecent-sky]

I wanna hear your sahsr infodumping, lay it on me

I decided to use text to speech just so i didn't have to keep speaking to myself to remember the points i wanted to make tbh, olease don't mind the grammar screw ups, I'm very tired...

OK? How do I speak about him?Just this is about sunday ok, him in a self aware au He believes in anna like the order right if and he believes their grand plan right, well if he was you know faced with the concept of fate itself. I feel he would like have a little crisis. Like this is a man who's entire ideology parallels christian like beliefs. We see this in How he acts, how he was raised

If he was made aware of the player it would send him down onto a spiral. I think because if this is in my Aeon of fate AU. He would also believe in fate as like an ally of the order or he would think that if Ena, didn't get subsumed by the harmony that the order would have been subsumed by fate instead.

He would also think is that his plan is going all accordingly to the Weaver's strings, Is his plan had succeeded?It puts him in his mind. Then this is the will of order and fate.

And that's before he gets taken by Elio and the rest of the Stellaron Hunters, if we're talking after he fails then after all that... He'd be a little bit hesitant to follow with plans at first but that's only at first, becausehe would see that whole fight as him going against the will of fate, trying to break from the cosmic strings of the Paracae's tapestry. And he wpuld belive that becoming a stellaron hunter and not being able to interact with his sister ever again, losing it all is his punishment, Because if there's one thing Christians can do, it's to believe in a nebulous concept, like y'know, fate and it's punishment. It's just that Aeons are real now, so it does help,

That's just if he doesn't know this is a game if he does, he's a little bit more bitter, Because from the start he was supposed to fail. That no matter what he tried, he was never going to succeed with it. Especially if the player is the type to start light talking in the middle of the fight which I did. And the I got into- I got into a one sided (for me) argument with him, during the scene where he talks about the past, present and future, I was refusing his points in like actively getting frustrated at him, retailing genesis towards me like I didn't go to christians school, I was, I was literally being like. ‘Don't even explain Genesis to me. I had to read it for Bible study’, but aside from that I feel like if the player were to match his eye ideology and provide a counter-argument. He'd be all for it. Because he's basically a homeschooled Christian kid and like challenging the ingrained beliefs in homeschooled christian kids is like a different kind of fight, turst me i would know.

Yeah, but anyways, I fight his fight.I fight his boss fight at least thrice a week, after my weekly fights are done, just to like vent out my frustration, amd to listen to his battle lines.

I don't know how he would feel about the players saving for him.And you know trying to get his E6 S5,

But like the first time I saw him afraid I was like pretty angel character.I'm going to have him, I would sacrifice life, limb, organ and soul for him.

Sorry this just turned into me simping for sunday…

Ok

Going on to Aventurine, he's a different can of worms.

This is a man who has already been blessed by God and is or was holding a piece of godly power before he destroyed it in the fight with Acheron He already thinks life is a gamble, and if his next gamble in believing in us, the player? Well he's gonna come out on top, especially if the player decides to build him right and use him often… and why wouldn't you?

But of course under all that he's just a scared vulnerable guy who is scared of losing it all and failing his family and the people who helped him, he's lost so much and if the player could help him through it… show him his worth and a reason to keep holding on it'd heal a long wounded part of his soul that still calls itself Kakavasha.

Sorry this was so short, my brain focused on sunday and him only.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

Respectfully speaking Dick Grayson is dragging a wagon.

Cut his head off because he is letting them eat cake.

I am tired of pretending that Dick being a 10 with a fatty has nothing to do with his appeal. If he had an up and down pole body y’all would not be simping so hard.

It’s like Jason Todd killing people because of his daddy issues. We love him because we all to some extent have those daddy issues. But we also love him because that man has the biggest tits in Gotham and thunder thighs that could pop melons and skulls alike.

Also put some respect on Duke and Steph’s names. They deserve some love from the untouched masses. A blonde baddie who works in retail and has a villain for a father statistically must be drowning in DMs that radiate a sticky aura.

Dukes parents basically got the Longbottom special and are crazy now. And guess what? Neville glowed up the hardest out of like the whole cast of the Harry Potter movies. Duke is serving Neville Longbottom, over looked and under appreciated but still carrying. He also essentially started a gang/cult and everyone knows only hot people can found a social movement.

Now Tim Drake has what I as a neurodivergent cockroach have dubbed; Autistic Rizz. Like yes he is intelligent and in good shape but the fundamentals of this man are lacking. He does not sleep, which is the same for all the above, he is mentally about an inch away from sending people anthrax in the mail and he likely dresses like a punk skater who got into flash dance and emerges from a dumpster every morning. This is all to say there is nothing conventionally appealing about this disaster, but he is still the rizzler. This is because his strangeness is endearing he’s an enigma and people want to know more. He’s a rude little goblin that you love to carry around.

Cassandra Cain is the Rizz Master for the opposite reason. She takes care of herself, knows how to dress and lives a mess free life. She also dresses like a ninja. Call her Rizzy McGuire.

[letternotekisses]

I absolutely looove your writing!!! You've singlehandedly made me a simp for Doomfist 🤭

One thing tho is for some reason I see 'Akande' and 'Doomfist' and different people, but also the same? Like two sides of a coin lmao I have no idea why.

Like I've imagined it's big, intimidating Doomfist to everyone else, but the cute, bubbly secretary gets to call him Akande with an warm, innocent smile (but she know she has him wrapped around her finger and loves flaunting that power in front of the others)

I see the vision anon and I have to say I agree with you. There’s not many that get to see the vulnerable underbelly of the Doomfist, to say that his assistant sees that side of him (and more) is a humongous brag, one that she uses to her advantage on the odd occasion. Also, welcome to the Doomfist fan club, please take your seat and grab your commemorative hat and badge (pink with sparkles). I am the leader. On that note, let’s continue.

Most of Talon’s grunts already know about you, and they tend to steer far clear of interacting if they know what’s good for them, not only are the Talon ‘elites’ rather defensive of what they consider theirs, they also don’t really want to lose their jobs. Or die. That’s probably worse. And you take a little bit of joy in your day knowing that you mostly won’t be bothered, but alas, there’s always one.

You’re eating your lunch, nibbling on a sandwich while your other hand types up some dates for Akande, ever the busybody, you didn’t even notice the swaggering of a young man rapidly approaching your desk. But when he rudely flicks the bobble-head on your desk, it quickly perks your attention and has you hastily putting your sandwich back in its wrapper, swiping away some crumbs from your desk.

“Can I help you?” You clear your throat, polite and cordial like the sweet thing you were, and it wasn’t uncommon for the newer recruits to ask you the location of the nearest bathroom, or something along those lines, so you were usually happy to help.

“Yes, actually—” He starts off, ever confident, idly toying with one of the delicate china figurines Amelie had gifted you. That’s strike one.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner sometime?” He grins, as if you were already bagged and bought in his mind. It made your skin crawl. Strike two.

“No—“ You pause briefly to take a bite of your sandwich, muffling your speech behind your hand before smiling at him as if he were an angry retail customer. “—Thank you.”

You gesture for him to leave, his lip curls into a rejected snarl and you fight the sudden urge to grimace, poor guy was about to put his foot down - and hit a fucking land mine. Strike thr—

He doesn’t even get the next word out, because the soft click of Akande’s office door behind him cuts the tense silence. You seem absolutely elated to see your ‘boss’ while the colour drains from the recruits face almost instantaneously. Clean up on aisle one because you honestly think he just crapped himself. It’s hard not to smile at this very moment.

You give a small wave, a little ‘hi Akande’ slipping out before you can stop it - not that he really minds - giving you a gentlemanly smile, bowing his head to greet you before he straightens up to face the terrified grunt who’d now knocked all of your trinkets off of your desk in his fright to step back. He puts two and two together and realises that, maybe he should have left this one alone.

Akande sternly threats dismisses him and he practically sprints down the hall to get away, and you’re just as content to watch his figure get smaller and smaller as he disappears down the hallway.

“I assumed that you usually ate with Moira?” Akande muses quizzically, delicately setting one of the fallen trinkets upright again on your desk, a rugged smile on his lips that you want to keep all to yourself.

“She’s busy.” You pout dramatically, idly flicking your bobble head until Akande suddenly stills it himself, chuckling at you.

“You should have said so.” He rumbles, extending his giant bicep for you to take, ever the gentleman, but only ever for you. “Come, eat with me.”

(You should know by now that this often ended up with you being his lunch instead, but you can let this one go considering his good duties today.)

[pappydaddy]

when i'm eighty (j.m.)

tv show/movie: outer banks | pairing: jj maybank x fem!pogue!reader

requested by a lovely anon as part of my 800 follower celebration

synopsis: y/n is exhausted and jj neglected the bike's gas tank. who knew it would lead to such a proclamation.

taglist: @luvhann | @thelakespoets  | @lonely-simp | @smarie7543 | @tenaciousperfectionunknown | @k-k0129 | @maybankslover | @taurusvic | @moralina | @verystarfishflower | @4dr1ana | @adr1an4 | @instabull | @poppet05 | @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @444lyra *line through your user means i could not tag you lovelies!

warnings: tears (exhausted) | karen situation mentioned | the lovely realities of a retail job

navigation | masterlist | taglist sign-up

- not my gif -

Sure, Pogue life was fun and relatively carefree, and Y/N wouldn’t trade her life for anything, but it did have its downfalls. Like when you see something you really like and you pick up extra shifts and work your ass off for it, but a Kook just has to ask their parents for it and boom - they have one they barely use or care for. Or when you accidentally spend too much money grocery shopping so now you have to pinch your pennies until next pay in two weeks. Or, like for Y/N right now, you have to work all day, every day because your crappy minimum wage job is severely understaffed and, even though they treat you horribly, you offer to pick up more shifts. 

  Y/N, right now, wasn’t too pleased with her status as a Pogue. Not when she is standing here, bored out of her mind and swaying on her feet as the middle aged Kook rambled on and on about something. Y/N wasn’t too sure what she was complaining about, truthfully, she stopped listening after the woman called her an incompetent child - which was the very first thing that came out of her pink smeared lips. 

  All she could actually focus on was how heavy her eyelids were, or how much she wanted to cut her feet off or just rip them right from her body. Or the dull ache that nestled itself right in the dip of her spine. Or how much she wishes she could just smash her kneecaps because, at this point, they were so tired and sore they were basically numb. It had been five days straight of her leaving school the second it was over and having her boyfriend, JJ, drive her to her work (a small hardware store), and then working to close. 

  She was exhausted, but she was falling behind on her road to buying a reliable car. Not the heap of rusted metal that has been sitting in her driveway for the past few months - completely broken. Luckily, because the owners did not want the possibility of being sued, they refused to let her work this weekend. That meant, once this woman was done with her tantrum, Y/N could get out of there and sleep for the foreseeable future. Well, at least until JJ had to get up for his shift delivering groceries tomorrow afternoon. She just hoped today wasn’t the one day JJ was late to pick her up. 

  “Mark my words, because you all know nothing, I will never come back here,” The lady slammed her hand against the counter Y/N stood at, the newly hired cashier shaking slightly behind her. “And I will be in contact with your manager and owner for reimbursement for any bills that come from this.” She sneered, gesturing to the empty bottle of antifreeze that was specifically made for diesel engines. That she put in her Land Rover. 

  “You have a nice night, the owner and manager will both be in after nine tomorrow morning.” Y/N drawled like a robot, ignoring the huff and snarky comment the woman made towards her for her lack of respect. There was no way in hell Y/N was apologising to her when Y/N and the manager were the ones who told the woman and her husband not to get that antifreeze, but her husband just wouldn’t listen. 

  “And I am telling them about your horrible behaviour towards me-” 

  “Ma’am,” Their night manager appeared from one of the aisles, looking annoyed. The clock had ticked by to read five minutes after close, meaning this woman was standing there ranting for over ten minutes. “We closed five minutes ago, if you have an issue, you can call and discuss this with our head manager and the owner tomorrow, but now you need to leave unless you want to front the money to pay us the overtime you are causing us because we won’t get paid.” He told her, pointing her towards the exit.

  She scoffed. “Of course I won’t pay you people to be incompetent at your jobs. I mean, how hard is it to sell people items? If anything, I should be getting money for you people for the damages you caused to my expensive Land Rover-”

  “Again, ma’am, you will have to bring that up with the people with more power than me,” The manager looked completely exhausted and annoyed with this woman. He grabbed the empty bottle from where she left it. “Now, you can either leave on your own or I will be contacting the authorities and they will remove you from the premises and you will be banned.” 

  He held out the empty bottle just before she snatched it, her nose turned up as she scoffed, turning on her heel and leaving out the door. “Okay, you two go, I will lock everything up.” He waved them off. Smiling thankfully, Y/N grabbed her thin sweater (which was JJ’s) and her empty plastic bottle of water, tossing it in the recycling bin.

  “Thank you, Gerry. Have fun tomorrow.” She waved bye to him as the new cashier trailed quietly behind her. Pulling the hoodie over her head, she left through the same door the woman had, seeing her fancy silver audi sitting in the parking lot. From inside, she could see her phone pressed to her ear as she yelled. 

  “Hey, sweets,” JJ greeted her, pushing off from the wall he leaned on. Y/N smiled, saying a quick ‘see you’ to the quiet girl as she bounded over towards her mother’s car. Her feet not moving, she held her arms open for JJ, signalling she wanted a hug. JJ complied, striding the short distance to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Naturally, her arms rested on his shoulders, enjoying the relief and comfort his hug brought her. It was like every ache in her body left and the weight that was crushing her lifted. “Long night?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

  She hummed. “Long week.” She corrected him, snuggling into his chest. He laughed lightly, not wanting to jostle her as she clung to him. 

  “As much as I would love to stay here hugging, we should really get you some food then to bed.” JJ started to pull away. Whining, she released him, the growling and uncomfortable feeling in her stomach too persistent to ignore, but her face remained planted into his chest. 

  “Carry me to the bike?” Her voice was muffled as she spoke. 

  “Sorry, sweets, the bike needs gas and I don’t get paid until next week.” He informed her, hands on her shoulders and pulling her face from his chest, just enough for him to see her face. Instantly, he was met by a pout and a whine from her. 

  She blinked at him, puppy dog eyes in full effect. “But I’m too tired to walk, JJ.” She told him. And looking at her, he could see she was. The eye Bags under her eyes were so deep that the concealer couldn’t even hide them. Her shoulder drooped so much it looked like she was lugging a bookbag that weighed fifty tons on them. And, not to mention, the way her eyes blinked lazily, looking a second away from closing in slumber. 

  Aside from her appearance, he could tell over the past few days she was completely exhausted. The way she kept falling asleep on his shoulder at lunch or as they skipped their respective classes in favour of cuddles. She only skipped classes when she wasn’t sleeping properly or she was bored. The way she was extra clingy (like right now). Or how she nearly face-planted into her breakfast this morning. “I know, Sweets. But the bike didn’t even have enough gas to drive here.” 

  Sighing, tears welled in her eyes. A mixture of exhaustion and stress filled her, creating tears. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to waste all that gas driving me here and back home.” She weeped, sniffling as she blinked frantically. 

  JJ, nearly shitting himself at the sight of tears, jumped out of his skin in fright. “No, no, Sweets. Don’t cry,” He shushed, wrapping her up in his arms so tight her eyes could pop out of their sockets (not really because he would never hurt her). She sniffled into his sweater, tears hitting his sweater. “I didn’t waste gas driving you. I can never waste anything when it comes to you. I let the tank get that low, it’s my fault. I thought I had enough but John B hit a pothole the other day and I needed to go help him change the tire, that’s where the gas went. It’s all John B's fault for being on the mainland and driving like an idiot.” He rocked them from side to side until the tears slowed and the sniffles seemed to quiet down.

  “John B made you drive all the way to the mainland to help him change the tire?” She asked, pulling her face from his chest, but his arms didn’t let go over her, keeping her pressed to him. Her eyes were watery and puffy, a red tinge to the whites of her eyes. Her face was puffy and blotchy, trails of dried tears running down her cheeks. 

  JJ nodded, moving his arms to grip her face, thumbs lightly rubbing the tear streaks. “Yeah. And the idiot also decided to take everything except the jack out of the van so we had to go get a lug nut wrench which ate up more gas.” 

  “He never learns his lesson, does he?” She laughed. It was wet, her mouth thick from the tears still. 

  “No, he doesn’t,” He whispered, his voice low as he stared at her. “Now, let’s get you home before you fall asleep standing here,” He stepped back, putting distance between them. She watched with furrowed brows as he turned his back to her, crouching down, practically kneeling on the sidewalk in front of the store. “Hop up.” He told her, arms to his side, stuck towards her slightly, waiting for her to climb onto his back. 

  “JJ,” She exclaimed. “You’re not going to be able to carry me all the way to John B’s!” 

  “Yeah I can. I’m eighteen, not eighty,” He told her, pointing to his back. Sighing, she knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. On top of that, he would find another way to carry her. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she hopped onto his back. His hands instantly gripped the bottom of her thighs, securing her there and he stood up to his full height. She let out a small squeal at the sudden change in height, kicking her feet slightly at the feeling of them not being on the ground. It always took her a second to get used to being held on his back. “And even when I’m eighty, I am sure as hell gonna still give you piggy back rides.” 

  “Sure, we’ll revisit that when you are hunched over because you gave me so many piggy back rides now.” She laughed, her arms lazily moving to rest closer to his neck, her chin resting on her bicep as he started to walk towards John B’s. 

  “Why do you think I am in such great shape? I am training to carry you around my whole life.” 

  “If that’s the case, might want to lay off the weed and the booze.” She poked him in the pectoral teasingly. He squeezed her thigh playfully back, laughing as she pressed a kiss to his cheek the best she could before resting her head back on her arm, letting the pattern of JJ’s gate relax her, her eyes growing heavier by the second. She really did hope that when they were eighty, they didn’t lose any of their playfulness - no matter if JJ could carry her or not.