#the rest is depressing
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New rule: rewatching just the last episode of merlin is a form of self harm.
#bbc merlin#gay#merlin#arthur dying is the sadest shit#same with Gwaine dying while percival is holding him and saying he didnt fail.#and mordred dying is sad because hes just a damaged child#its so weird how he basically ages 10 years in 5 seasons because of the actor change#but yea#its defo a form of self harm and isnt good#even if in the commentry Julian agrees that its a love story#arthur saying he doesnt want merlin to change brraks me every time#at least merlins hair looks like a loreal ad when hes calling off aithusa#the rest is depressing#especially as merlin likely went on a five century depressive episode and not having any human contact#because theyre all just gonna die#it hurts bro
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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shout out to my folks with insomnia & depression & delayed sleep phase disorder & sleep apnea & disabilities & other sleep disorders diagnosed, undiagnosed, and just my plain old night owls & night shift workers!! we r so fucking cool & exist every day in a society not made for us at all. and NONE of us are lazy bums or bad people for staying up late & sleeping in till noon or two or whatever whenever you get up!! no matter what anyone says!! you’re incredible and i love you!!!
#being the positivity i need in the world#would i like to get up earlier and love my life? yes. but i can’t fuckin do that can i#i recognize the irony of posting this at 11:30 however i’m at work and fuckin tired#text#positivity#insomnia#depression#delayed sleep phase disorder#sleep apnea#also shout out to nightmare nation i hope we get good rest soon!!!!!
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i don't want to lose you. i don't want to lose this
#ffvii#cloud strife#zack fair#zakkura#mind link au#my art <3#tangentially related:#i think a lot about the year or so between the events of the og and advent children#he's changed so much by the time ac rolls around. which is to say the survivor's guilt is DEEP and the depression is EVEN DEEPER#i wonder how much of that is from letting go of the zack part of his identity.#oh what's that? forgot to mourn his death properly the first time? aww well shucks buddy#now he gets to die all over again in a brand new way! and now you're the one with the blood on your hands :) and you get to dig the grave :)#and now you get to live with the self blame for the rest of your life :)#yeah...........
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no time to celebrate
#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason#i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside#BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!!#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes#they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz)#so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up#joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real#dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die#i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years#my art
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#real#girlblogging#girlblogger#girly things#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#female hysteria#whisper girl#femcel#girlboss#lana del rey#female manipulator#this is what makes us girls#escapism#existentialism#female rage#my year of rest and relaxation#born to die#childhood trauma#hell is a teenage girl#just girly things#the feminine urge#the bell jar#the virgin suicides#tumblr girl#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressive#mentally unstable#mental illness#actually mentally ill
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Until the mountains crumble to the sea
Extra Doodle Below the Cut and Script:
Script:
Page 1:
Fiddleford: O' c'mon stop fussin' you big ol' lug! It ain't that big of a deal...
'Sides, you kept complaining 'bout how your shoulder was actin' up all day!!
Stan: Well yeah! But I always lead...
Fiddleford: There! Isn't this much better?
Stan: Hmm.
Page 2
Fiddleford: Stan.
Stan: Yeah?
Fiddleford: Who sings this song again?
Stan: Uhm...Oh! Uh Cass Elliot! Yeah, Cass Elliot...
Fiddleford: Ah. Well...she sounds lovely...
This is a nice night.
Stan: Yeah.
Page 3
(There is no written dialogue for this page. The only written portions are the lyrics, which eventually fade out.)
Extra Doodle
Fiddleford: Stan, are you crying?!
Stan: Yes! Er- I mean no! I mean maybe? I'm sorry! The song got to me! Curse you Cass Elliot! You and your delightful singing!
#gave fidds clothes based on ones i have irl (its a green button up with tree imagery embroidered on the collar/pocket :)))#love drawing small moments of intimacy it's my favorite thing EVER!!#drawing the mundane is my way of giving my highest honors to certain characters#okay im writing this after drafting my script and I did not need to make it this depressing omg. my bad everyone :'0#Rest assured the halloween illustration will make up for it ITS SO WHIMSICAL :^D#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#gravity falls#thriftybruce's makings#bruce's recs
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Bouncing off all of the fanfics where the Dead Boys are brought back to life again for a period of time to suggest that their thoughts on it are the opposite of what you’d anticipate based on their perception of the living while they’re ghosts. Charles sorely misses living while a ghost, despite all the awful, awful things he was subjected to. Edwin, despite 70+ years in Hell, is perfectly content as a ghost and finds the living distasteful to a degree.
But, when they get hit by an “aliving” spell, that’s not how it goes down at all.
Edwin has not been in a human body for over a century- and even then only got sixteen years of it- so he forgets how much he was missing as a ghost. Actually being able to feel things- the warmth of human touch, the breeze through his hair, the texture of worn book pages. The smell of petrichor after rain, a warm cup of sweet tea. Even just sleeping and having the ability to give his overactive mind a break. He’s forgotten how many good things there were about being alive.
Charles, as expected, is thrilled to be alive again and his first few days on solid ground are a whirlwind, but his energy is short lived. He frequently sleeps over 12 hours a night, and can’t bring himself to get out from under the covers for another hour longer. His appetite fades quickly, and he finds that foods he’s been craving for 35 years just don’t taste the same. Initially he chalks it up to his mind and body readjusting to human life (despite Edwin having none of the same issues), and continues enjoying what he can. But eventually, it becomes clear that something is very very wrong. His right arm that he shattered at age 14 (and didn’t get properly treated for days) begins to ache again. Sudden touches are no longer a gentle spectral sensation, but an unexpected pressure that he shrinks away from. His body feels heavy, and his energy drains quickly if he has any to begin with.
It turns out that over three decades of repressed physical and emotional trauma took its toll on him, and he had naïvely forgotten-or perhaps willfully omitted- the struggle that was his life when he wasn’t out kissing girls and pretending like his father didn’t exist.
Edwin feels a sense of freedom in being human again, away from all the supernatural trauma he has endured, while for Charles it is more of a burden than he ever recalled it being.
#just the idea of Charles ‘i hate being dead’ Rowland being just as miserable when he’s brought back to life#and also thoughts on how depression can fuck with your body#even when your mind isn’t aware of how much the rest of you is struggling to keep up with the responsibilities of life#but also Edwin rediscovering his love for life once he can experience it with people who care about him#ugh these two have me ill#payneland#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dbda#save dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#dbda au#dead boy detectives au#fanfic#kinda#jess’s thoughts
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i really wanted to draw himiko so here she is with some other guys too
#danganronpa#himiko yumeno#kaito momota#kiibo#danganronpa v3#drv3#i think kiibo and kaede share the spot for my fave v3 character#and kaito is second and himiko is third#winter depression activated sorry if i barely post for the rest of the year. along with everything else idk if i can draw rn#luckily i did these a couple weeks ago
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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a drug dealer and his boss
#charmac#charlie kelly#mac mcdonald#mac macdonald#iasip#always sunny#the gang buys a roller rink#fanart#mine#i made up th rest of mac's shirt cuz i didnt wanna draw th jacket lol (THO I LOV IT)#the outfits n this episode make th ntire thing worth it honestly#but also i lov u unreliable narrators. wat a depressing fantasy
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ghost!ghost wip
#wip#ghost!ghost#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#soap x ghost#ghost x soap#cod fanart#fucking finally#my bad ghost!ghost enjoyer lol#wanna ramble here no need to read#big depressed for the past few weeks and busy as heckkk#had to socialized with people a lot#and be sad#the negative energy was strong bc someone died#also i know i said i'm gonna disappear but it's just a mindset thing really#as if mybody is not gonna do that just to spite my own self#like oh you wanna rest??? NUH UH#it's strange but it worked so here i am#and i did some jounaling??? writing a diary thingy??? pouring my heart out into it kinda#good for my mental bc it's relieving and made me forget of my woes#i'm sad still but it's manageable now#the tired feeling won't go away though#sorry for complaining and being the way i am#thank god for ghostsoap my sun and my moon
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The wrong DNA test
( what if, Sheila wasn't really Jason's mother? The system is already corrupted, then what about the test?).
A huge brawl containing every rogue had started at the time of Halloween, causing the people from downtown to fled there home's as joker had clownized the whole neighborhood with his goon's.
Every bats had taken to groups to take out the three parts of Gotham's as the rogue's had started to make alliances, some had lasted quite long while had conflicts, and causing a big damage to Arkham asylum,
It didn't take long before they captured all of them, none of the bats questions as they observed Jason glowing green eyes starting to flick, they thought it was the pit again, growing wary of the cooperation, but Crime alley was involved and that mean business to Red hood's turf.
Catherine todd love her son as her own even if not biological, Jason knew that. But her thing with drugs couldn't make her stop.
Sometimes after that, they could hear Jason humming a tune,a nice melody from Damian's statement saying that Jason muttered to him “ lullaby” as Jason continued to read his book, maybe it could be from Catherine,
they knew how Jason's past with Catherine todd, his mom even if not related, Catherine loves her son like her own kid but her doing drugs and... overdosing couldn't be stop.
Maybe Jason just remembered his mother maybe reminiscing atleast something familiar...even if it was a bad time.
Jason had constantly have been hearing a woman's? Man's? Voice, singing him a lullaby...it soothing, like as if he known and loved this melody...and that's where the dreams kept coming, there was a person, giving him kisses, Talkin to him stories, singing him lullabies and soothing him, he could dream that he was actually a baby, a baby from a normal couple, well don't count the luxurious baby room.
Jason had took out a conspiracies why he was getting this dreams, ( he swears he's not becoming Tim) and voices, maybe like a misshapen memories from the pits of victims? No it's to peaceful for that, maybe magic? He already contacted Constantine but surely hang up after knowing who it was-
Just how is he getting this dreams? Unless it wasn't.... So he proved again his point, he started a DNA test, again but none had records...of Sheila being his biological mother...that was weird, last time he had a test was from the time as robin..and before his-
So he went to that hospital who had said where Sheila had given birth to him, and most of shock is that no one knows a mother giving birth named Sheila haywood but had a document of a baby, of one Jason jay nightingale, the most believing part was that it's the same day he was born in.
His mother, Daniel F. Nightingale was said to be trans as the doctor who help his mother safely delivered him, And saying that his mother loved him,
one Sheila Haywood had the constant trick to get him and taken him as his own, because his mother's family was a wealthy one they practically sold him to her.
Jason had thought that maybe his mother's family never wanted him to have a son with a man from Gotham's crime alley.
Meanwhile Danny had just been YEETED to the DC universe before the start of Batman's justice thing and had been adopted by a very wealthy fruit loops couple as there kid, so he stayed as the couples daughter even pretending, because he owed ghost writer a favor for the last time, and as DC universe exist so it's story, and one thing for sure the child he had to give birth in this universe has a very complicated fate,
he did the one night stand from his supposed friend Willis Todd? He had to befriend him as Dalia F. nightingale the supposed Wealthy daughter who fell in love with a peasant trope, and gotten pregnant making it a scandal, and reaching to his ‘parents’ circle and getting that drama.
But he never thought he would care for his child, his little jay, his ghost side would purr in delight when they held Jason, he was a very hard sucker especially from his pacifier or his breast, it's so weird being in a women body,
but the way his ‘parents’ sold his son to the women who was supposed to get his son killed and being revived by cheap parody ass of ectoplasm.
He went feral, he had an argument to his ‘parents’ but all fell deaf ears, he couldn't find his son in one of the hotels nearby where that BXtch was.
And that time was where his part of the script was fulfilled, ghost writer already took him, both sides of his, were angry.
He. will. get. his. baby. back.
#dcxdp#Danny phantom#dcxdp crossover#Mom!Danny#Batfam#Jason todd#portraits#When the bats find this they decided to help find Jason's Mom only to find out she went missing#his Jay Nightingale now#yes- im getting of topic#so lets just say that clockwork has also has some things involved with his#dcdp#batfam#and ghostwriter#so if this doesn't go to your timeline aus or smth or cannon idk what to say#when the bats found out about Jason's investigation to find his mother#they gladly help but after finding where jason's grandparents who sold him to Haywood#they meet with them#and the whole revealed was much more depressing because His mother died/missing/suicide#Ghost writer was the one who plan the...The death scene.#so jason is sad#and very much wants his momma#because thats how ghost parents shit is right?#yeah i dont think im educated enough#So the grandparents are like grieving for there son (yes they accepted his trans btw).#and let jason and the rest of the batfam in there manor/castle ( cause there seriously old money) and introduce jason to his mom's things#portraits of danny#telling stories of danny in his youth.#but they avoided the way he ‘died’ for ghost writers plot conveniences but they mention#green...like ectoplasm but they just called it green liquid.
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Random and fun doodles, silly sketches if you will
#fma#I enjoy making silly art more than angst art#I like making myself laugh basically#fma 03#fma 2003#fma cos#conqueror of shamballa#cos edward#edward elric#alphonse elric#alfons heiderich#fullmetal alchemist#fanart#doodle page#vermiixart#however I wasn’t smart enough to come up with something more clever than depression brothers#and it’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life#cos is a tragicomedy to me
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Atleast there is still this. Even amongst the ruins of floppage there exists this.
#who said they were like little puppies climbing and slobbering over each other biting each other with new puppy teeth#because that's literally the vibe of this video#anyway trying not to sip on my depression-ade#Bezz being so heated and pecco gently rubbing his chest and resting his chin on his shoulder#🥹#anyway things need to change and fast#pecco bagnaia#marco bezzecchi#bezz#pecco#motogp#cota 2024#Americas GP 2024
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plspls help with a kofi purchase/donation or a commission i have like no money
#gonna be visiting the fam for the next week cause mom is really depressed rn but dont worry ill still be working on the go#cant even really afford to rest during my period anymore... haha...
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