#the reason why its so hard to get people to pay how much art is worth is because SO many artists are undercharging
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tytoalbatross · 8 months ago
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god damn i do not post often but can i talk about intentionality for a second?? one second please
i'm gonna be talking about bg3 but this really applies to any fandom space. people will, surface-level, agree that a Black character is not getting enough content compared to their white counterparts because it's. obvious . take wyll, who is several hours behind on voiced lines compared to other origins despite being one of the original five (before they added karlach and whiteified her too but that's another post). it's hard to deny cold hard facts
but then instead of engaging in content that uplifts Black characters and creators, they'll go right back to pumping out more and more content of just their white faves. on its own, it's not actively harmful, but here's what the implication is, whether they acknowledge it or not: yes wyll has less in-game content, yes his writing didn't get the attention it deserved, therefore i don't like him as much. it only perpetuates wyll's lack of content by contributing to his sidelining in fandom spaces
what i would love for fans who claim to be allies to do is to step out of the comfort zone of their initial favorites (which can, in fact, be biased!) and start pursuing content centering Black characters with intentionality. like all things, anti-racism (actively pushing back against racism rather than simply "Not Being Racist") takes practice and effort. you can't really agree with us that wyll needs more content, then in the same breath say that it's because of that that he's not interesting to you . the point was right in front of you doing a jig and you still missed it
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shadyhouse · 15 hours ago
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#i need a good reason to not kill myself because the world feels so fucking hostile right now and theres nowhere i can go to safety#my bank account is Seven Hundred And Thirty Dollars in the negatives. i have bills coming up this week. i have no hours at my job#i went to a job interview yesterday for fucking taco bell THATS how desperate i am. and im not even 100% sure if im gonna get it or not#and if i do get it my life will be miserable and i wont have time for anything else in my life im like actually terrified#i have so much Trauma from shitty unstable jobs for my whole adult life that it just feels painful to think about#i cant afford to live i cant afford to be homeless either#i should just die like genuinely im at the end of my rope i dont know how much longer i can keep doing this#im so stressed im so overwhelmed its so difficult to work on art because of this#my life is actively crumbing away beneath my feet the last thing i want to do is draw pictures#but i have to. i have no other choice i Have to#the world is better off without me in it OBVIOUSLY. like all i hear about constantly is how much trans people dont deserve to live#i shouldve considered this before i decided to be born the way i am#i never asked to be born into this. i wish i never was. i wish i wasnt alive right now#i dont want to live i dont want a life i dont want to keep on going if its just going to be like this all the time#i hate feeling this way because of MONEY. I HATE MONEY. MONEY ISNT REAL UNTIL IT IS REAL AND THEN ITS EXTREMELY REAL.#money is only real for poor people and thats what ive learned in my time on this earth#btw im not okay and nothing anyone can say to me will make me feel better because theres no fucking point in anything#i got denied for food stamps and welfare also btw lol like im doing everything i can to improve my life but everything sucks and is hard#and i dont have a safety net and im falling and falling and falling and im about to splat hard on the concrete#i have to do laundry and clean my room and make breakfast and work on art and all of that while knowing i cant pay my bills#i dont know why suddenly it feels impossible to do fucking anything. like theres no other choice but to suffer#it feels like the world is ending and Yes im having a catastrophic breakdown right now and i just need to shout into the void#i'll feel better after i eat but i need to get dressed first and i have no clean clothes so i have to do laundry#but i have to collect my clothes off of the floor and i have 0 energy bc i havent eaten and im stressed and fucked up#UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DIES#things could absolutely be worse right now but this is about as bad as they can be before that happens. lol
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weirdphilosopher · 8 months ago
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thinking about opening fr currency art commisions. my projects desperately need it. but i also have to work on ref sheets for artfight, and most fr artists already price their work way too low considering 100g/kt is worth 1 usd and im scared ill have the same fate, and im still trying to figure out how to draw more without making my arm flare up for the rest of the day, and-
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howtofightwrite · 8 months ago
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Most traditional boxing instructors will tell you that if the opponent is taller than you, has longer arms than you, or is heavier than you, you're fucked and you need to stay extremely aware and work really hard to compensate for all the advantage he has over you.
In a recent forensic survey, it was determined that most traditional boxing instructors who get into real world altercations die when they're shot in the head.
This is the problem with a lot of these kinds of arguments. No one practices traditional boxing. At least, no one does so publicly. How do I know this? Because traditionally boxers fought in the nude. Yeah, we're not seeing that, are we? Now, maybe they meant bare knuckle boxing, but really no one does that either, these days. Boxing without safety equipment is not a particularly good idea, for fairly obvious reasons.
The only reason the word, “traditional,” is in the ask is to lend their statement unearned credibility. It's an attempt to make their statement sound more authoritative, without offering any evidence to support the statement.
Who said that?
“Traditional people did.”
Okay, but, 'traditionally,' people cleaned shit off their ass with a stick. So, maybe appealing to Hellenic sports isn't the best gauge of how a fight will play out.
Also, I know I just said it, but, who are these authoritative sports guys? Because they're not named. We're simply told, “most,” of them agree. Which starts to sound a lot like “four out of five dentists agree.” Who are these instructors? What do they teach? Why are the currently in prison for indecent exposure? And how much did you pay them to get their uninformed opinion? Salient questions which may need to be answered, if the original question wasn't invalid on its face.
Why do I say it's invalid?
Because boxing isn't fighting.
Boxing is a sport.
Boxing has rules.
Kick your opponent in the groin, or shin, and you're punished.
Step on their foot, push them, and watch them tumble to the ground before you start stomping on them, and you'll be punished.
Throwing your opponent will be punished.
And of course, as mentioned at the top, pulling out a gun and expanding your opponent's mental horizons is extremely frowned upon.
These are all things that can happen in a real fight.
These are all things that do not benefit from increased height or reach.
There is one genuinely accurate statement. In a fight, you do need to be very aware of what's going on around you. Everything else is the product of someone who's been punched in the head repeatedly until the CTEs got them thinking that boxing is analogous to a real fight in any way. (And, statistically, will probably end their career sitting in a jail cell over an aggravated assault charge, because their emotional self-control was completely destroyed by those same head injuries.)
The rules that boxers need to follow are designed to (somewhat) protect the participants. It reduces the dangers of a boxer being killed in the ring. In an observation that I would hope to be self-evident, those rules don't exist in actual combat.
It's also amusing, because the original Asker had to go so far as to single out an ill-defined, “traditional” boxing, because no other martial art they checked gave them the soundbite they wanted.
And, of course, women box. Historically, you could say, “traditionally,” there were even boxing matches between men and women. It wasn't until the 1880s that women were excluded from competitive boxing in the UK. (I'm not sure of the exact date when women were banned from boxing in the US, though that prohibition lasted for less than a century, before the modern return of women to the sport.)
So, either these “traditional instructors” don't know the history of their own sport... which doesn't sound particularly “traditional” to me, or they're full of shit.
My advice to everyone would be, maybe, don't take the advice of a sports coach about how he's secretly an absolute badass in all the delusional fantasies he's cooked up about how he'd like to inflict violence on others because they wouldn't date him.
-Starke
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genericpuff · 7 months ago
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ok as someone disabled with severe motor skill issues i really hate the argument that "anyone can learn art" and that it's completely accessible to everyone. it's not. there are lots of disabled folks who are getting left out of this discussion with the ableist argument that anyone can do art and if you can't you're just not trying hard enough (which is an argument a lot of abled people tend to use against disabled folks in general). i'm against ai art and will never use it but we have got to stop acting like art is an accessible hobby to everyone because there is unfortunately a lot of people who would love to become artists but will never be able to because of our disabilities.
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nah you right! I try to be mindful of that sort of thing but it does admittedly fly under my radar at times because I'm not someone living with a physical disability (and thus it's not as front-of-mind as someone who is) so thanks for catching me on that, many apologies. My argument was regarding the people I've seen who have exclusively used "well I've tried to learn how to draw and it's hard / took too much time / etc." as their driving argument (of which there are just. so many) when like. these are realities for many artists who have been doing this for years, too, including those who are disabled. yeah, making art takes time and practice and a lot of hard work! welcome to the party LOL
but I also understand how keeping that argument so simplified can be exclusionary to those who do genuinely face barriers when pursuing art due to living with disabilities. I've met and observed the work of many disabled artists - webcomic artists, game designers, musicians, etc. - who are out there making their stuff and it comes with all its own unique struggles that shouldn't be forgotten about or overlooked in the discussion regarding AI art, struggles that bar many people from even getting into making art from the starting gun.
I do genuinely believe that art can come from anywhere, that anyone is capable of expressing themselves through whatever medium that compels them... but you're right that many artistic mediums in and of themselves are not wholly accessible to everyone. And I hope to god that more tools are developed to help those who are both working artists as well as aspiring ones.
But AI, in its current state, just isn't one of them. And I'm seeing this sentiment being yelled from the rooftops by many disabled artists who firmly believe that the ends do not justify the means - that they don't want the medium to become more accessible if it comes at the cost of other artists (many who are disabled themselves!) whose work and livelihoods are being replaced with cheap carbon copies. AI art doesn't allow anyone to actually participate in the joy of creating straight from the heart, it just takes from others' joy and spits it back out with an impression of what it thinks the joy of creation is supposed to look like through lifeless pixels. That's not even getting into just how much damage it's already actively causing to our environment, and how quickly AI has started to replace other surrounding industries as well.
Separately from that, you're right, paying for art is a luxury for many, but that's all the more reason why we shouldn't be supporting the current climate surrounding AI IMO which is the crux of what my argument was in that previous Simpsons meme post. Many people do face severe limitations in trying to create their art; the people I'm referring to who are heavily pro-AI are often not those same people and only face the limitations of their own entitlement, which is destroying the livelihoods of many human artists. Is it worth participating in AI art to save money if that same participation perpetuates a growing system that's costing people their livelihoods?
Maybe some day we'll get AI tools that are less predatory and destructive and help those who want to create art do so. Maybe we'll finally get some stricter regulations around what companies are allowed to get away with in their respective industries. I'd like to think also that the rise of AI art will, by extension, make human-made art all the more valuable. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish for tools that made making webcomics just a teeeeny bit more efficient without being completely unethical LOL But until any of those scenarios prove to be true, we're dealing with a monster of our own design that will never stop eating even after we've all been consumed. The toothpaste is out of the tube.
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lady-griffin · 2 months ago
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#ArcaneSeason01 | When and how did Jinx develop fishbones?
Thank you for your ask Anon!
I’m sorry it took me years to finally answer it, but at least I’m answering it the day S2 airs, so that’s something, right?
Also, I worked on this before S2 aired (before I watched it), so if something turns out to be wrong - oh well, I did my best. Again, sorry for the super late response.
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Fishbones – The Idea and the When
This might surprise a lot of people since many see Fishbones as something Jinx specifically made for Silco, but the show’s details make it clear Jinx had the idea for Fishbones before she ever met Silco.
The main evidence being one of Powder’s drawings -
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The bottom drawing depicts the very basic concept of Fishbones - a shark shooting a fiery blast out of its mouth with a bullet above it.
Fishbones is clearly a power fantasy of Powder’s, which makes sense. Violence was beyond the norm for her growing up and unlike Vi, physical hand to hand combat was not something she excelled at.
Now, her having this fantasy or dream weapon doesn’t make Powder some evil child who was always going to be violent, she was a kid growing up in a violent world, who wanted to be useful, so it makes perfect sense she wanted to have (make) this “ultimate gun” – especially since shooting was something she truly excelled at.
I would also argue, she has more of a desire to create weapons that are uniquely hers, rather than just weapons to hurt people. Because despite all her insecurities she’s always been confident in her own artistic and general self-expression.
Powder obviously admired her sister and wanted to be like Vi, but she never tried to be Vi. She pursued things she was interested in and even what she was good at, rather than abandon all of it to be more like Vi.
In many ways, whether as Powder or Jinx, she's always remained true to herself.
Her weapons, particularly Fishbones are arguably proof of that. As, the same drawing (or a near identical one) is hanging up in Jinx’s lab in ep. 4.
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Indicating Fishbones is still something she wants to make, despite how much she's changed and is different from her younger self.
Bonus Material -
Additionally, we have a promotional image of what comes with The Collector’s Edition of Arcane, giving us a clearer picture of said initial drawing of Fishbones.
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As well as the blueprint three of Jinx's weapons (including Fishbones) and her other drawings.
Her blueprints are interesting to me, because they’re this mix of childishness and sophistication.
There’s a lot of “maturity” in how the actual drawings are clean, concise, and well-made. They don’t have Jinx’s usual scribbling style or aesthetic, which is evidence of something I’ve always believed about Jinx – her art style is simply just that, her style of choice.
Mostly importantly these are blueprints; meaning Fishbones is no longer just the abstract idea of a shark with a fiery blast, but now an actual idea of a possible weapon to be used.
Now in general it’s hard to tell what specific age Jinx drew something because of her scribbly style, but I’m leaning towards her being on the younger side for these.
Though it's more than possible she made the blueprint of Fishbones after Silco took her in.
Nonetheless, Fishbones has been an idea of Jinx’s long before Silco entered her life - meaning he wasn't the sole for reason why she built Fishbones.
Fishbones - The Design (Inspiration and Reason)
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Now, I do agree with the common consensus that Fishbones was made with Silco in mind, specifically his love for sea monsters – BUT he’s not the only one with a love for monsters.
If we pay attention to the details, it's obvious, Powder had an affinity for monsters as well, even a fondness for sharks specifically. 
Which is just the cutest thing ever.
Can you imagine how happy Silco was when he learned his newly adopted daughter loved sharks and other monstrous creatures?
I know that has nothing to do with your question, but I just can’t get over that. Seriously, imagining that scene is just way too cute.
Evidence of Powder’s Affinity Towards Monsters
Ep. 1 - Shark plushie
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In ep. 1, we see a shark plushie right before Vi goes to comfort Powder. Now, either Powder made this plushie herself or it was made for her, but either way it’s obviously Powder’s.
It also looks very similar to the rocket she shot from Fishbones – the grin especially.
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Act I - Powder’s grenades
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Throughout Act 1 we see several of Powder's grenades and also hear her talk about them. Note how she designed them, she didn’t simply draw a cute little poro or dragon on them, she actually designed them to be little creatures themselves.
She goes even further, by giving them names and pronouns; which to me, shows how many of her weapons are meant to be their own little creatures, not just weapons.  
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Fishbones is a great example of what I’m talking about – because he’s not a bazooka with a shark drawn on him, he’s an actual SHARK bazooka.
Plus, I’m using he/him pronouns instead of calling Fishbones an it, because of the intentional “life” and personality Jinx has imbued into this weapon, and also from how she interacts with him in other League media.  
Ep. 6 - Powder drawing monsters
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Vi has a hallucination/memory of Powder drawing the monsters they made up to outdo one another, so even though Vi said she went too far at times and Powder got scared, clearly Powder loved their game.
Which, by the sounds of it, was solely made up with the purpose of keeping Powder happy and entertained.
Ep. 7 and Enemy (mv) - Powder's battle helmet
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With its eyes and teeth, clearly her helmet is another one of her monsters. And again, we don't simply see a cute figure simply drawn on the helmet, instead what Powder did here, like with her grenades, is turn her helmet into its own little monster.
Another couple of tiny details
In ep. 1 - Powder picks up something from the trash when Claggor and Vander are leaving the Last Drop and it looks very similar to the teeth of her future chomper grenades.
Even if they're not the same - Powder she clearly saw something that resembled sharp teeth and kept it.
There’s also her clapping monkey toy and while that's not a monster, it’s still a pretty creepy toy.
In the S2 trailer - Shark hoodie.
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I know I said I was only focusing on S1, but I couldn't not talk about her hoodie, because she's wearing a shark hoodie!
It’s interesting - because some say this is her fully embracing Silco and his legacy while others claim this her returning to being Powder once again, as she's wearing something similar to what she wore when she played with Ekko – with the markings on her cheeks and everything.
I think it’s 100% both of those things, while also just Jinx being Jinx – someone who has always loved monsters and sharks.
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Now I genuinely believe Fishbones was a gift for Silco; it’s just that Fishbones was always going to be Jinx's weapon. If anything, Jinx made Fishbones for Silco AND herself - something for the two of them to share.
Because if Silco had lived and they had attacked Piltover together, Jinx would’ve still been the one firing Fishbones, Silco would’ve been standing right there next to her of course, but Fishbones was always going to be her weapon.
Fishbones - The Physical and Literal When
My theory is that Jinx has tried to make Fishbones over the years and was finally only able to complete him (in a few days), once she figured out hextech (Acts II & III.)
The main Fishbones drawing I've been talking about proves he wasn’t thought of and then made and finished in a few days, rather he’s been in the works for a while.
I also think the scene in which we see the drawing is some great foreshadowing.
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The unrefined hextech crystals landing top of the drawings of Fishbones and her family, right after her breakdown (ep. 3).
Fishbones may have only been an idea at the time and maybe that's all he could've ever been, but once the crystals were refined into gemstones, there became a way for Jinx to bring her vision to life.
I could also argue, that without the tragedy of losing her family and Silco taking her in - Fishbones may have never existed.
Even with Powder's fantasy of Fishbones and her being more than ready to use her grenades, she's never actually hurt anyone before, not as far as we know. It's possible if things stayed relatively the same, Powder would've ended up freaked out or scared of the reality of what her weapons can do.
Jinx on the other, being raised by Silco... not so much.
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I'm so glad I noticed all these monster and shark details, because initially my timeline for Fishbones was that Jinx came up with the idea for him and executed said idea in less than a week.
While Jinx is beyond impressive, when would she have time to do that?
Seriously, even if Jinx didn't get any sleep (more than likely) there are only so many hours in a day and she was doing a million other things.
But with this new (very loose) timeline, well everything makes a whole lot more sense.
It's still beyond amazing Jinx made and finished Fishbones in the time frame she did – but it’s more doable (for her), especially since Jinx has shown to be able to accomplish a whole lot when she’s under a time crunch.
But like I've said, I believe Jinx has been working on Fishbones for years now and I’m guessing she couldn’t make her specific vision of him into a reality because she didn’t have a strong enough power source; so, he was put on hold.
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But once she cracked the gemstone/hextech – it was “simply” a matter of redesigning Fishbone’s design to be a hextech devise.
Basically, I think Jinx was able to finish Fishbones by the finale, because she salvaged her previous protypes of him for parts
None of this is easy or simple by the way. Fishbones truly shows how much of a genius Jinx is. Seriously, consider the fact that at the end of S1 the three experts on hextech and known inventors of its devises are Jinx and the two literal creators and founders of Hextech.
That's amazing.
Jinx taught herself hextech by using the notes and research she stole from them, which is beyond insane and I feel like so many undercut how truly impressive that actually is.
In addition, Fishbones' existence shows us how inventive, adaptive, and weirdly enough practical Jinx is.
The last one may seem odd, but remember Silco told her she needed to crack hextech sooner than later, so, working with a design she's been struggling with for years and adapting said design to be a hextech one; rather than just starting from scratch is really practical of her.
And Jinx did all of this while remaining true to herself and her aesthetic, because she's all about that self-expression and creativity.
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Jinx wouldn’t/couldn’t design just any weapon for Silco, especially not for his war against Piltover, none of those weapons would've been good enough for him or for her.
The weapon she made to help Silco finally turn the tables on Piltover, would've had to be something significant and meaningful to them both, because this is important to them.
So, even though Silco never saw Fishbones, I know he would’ve absolutely appreciated and loved him.
Fishbones was made to be something the two could share in a way; if anything, he’s a symbol of their bond as well as all the things they have in common, in particular their shared love and admiration for monstrous creatures.
And I absolutely love that so goddamn much, because in a way Fishbones shows Silco and Jinx were “always meant” to be father and daughter.
Who else would’ve truly appreciated her giant shark bazooka?
Who else would’ve found Silco's sea monsters to be just as beautiful and awe inspiring as he did?
Summary
Fishbones was an idea of Jinx’s long before she ever met Silco and what started out as power fantasy of a young powerless girl, became not only a reality, but her ultimate show of power (at least for S1).
Fishbones was made for Silco’s sake though, Jinx was going to present him to Silco as the weapon to turn the tables on Piltover.
He's a shark because of Silco's love for sea monsters AND because of Jinx's own love and fondness for monsters (+ sharks).
Fishbones also, at least I think so, shows their bond as father and daughter over the years.  
In regards to when Jinx made Fishbones, I think since Silco took her in, she's likely tried to make him a few times, but he's never worked – likely because she didn't have a strong enough power source.
But once she figured out hextech, she was able to implement the tech into her redesign, and by using her other skills and knowhow, Jinx was able to create the perfect weapon for herself.
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ihopesocomic · 5 months ago
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Sorry for the mini-essay but I think people massively underestimate how much hard work and dedication goes into a Passion Project. People think that creators who make free content, who do their work as a hobby and not as a job, must only get enjoyment out of it.
That’s not how it works. Doing it purely because you want to doesn’t automatically make the more challenging, frustrating, or (gasps) TIME CONSUMING parts of the project any less burdensome. If anything, it makes it worse because you aren’t being paid for all of that labor. You’re just doing it for the sake of doing it, and as rewarding as it can be, it can also be demanding.
Im finally publishing a fanfic for the first time and don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to get feedback on my work and interact with a community. I love that there are usernames and profile pictures I can actually identify because they’re regulars on my work.
But does that mean I don’t have to constantly redo work because I don’t like how it turned out? No. Does that mean I always update on time? No. Never get burnout? No. I still very much go through all of the things paid writers do, because the Creative Process is difficult and demanding no matter what they paycheck is or isn’t.
And all of that is just if you guys WERE missing updates, which you’re NOT. So like… these complaints are not only very entitled and ignorant, but also just confusing. People really just be mad for the sake of being mad, I guess?
Anyways yeah, free content creators are still content creators, and passion-driven hard work is still hard work. You two are cranking out absolutely STUNNING visuals, compelling characters and engaging worldbuilding every single week and that’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work and I’m sorry about the twerps that don’t appreciate it enough!
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Ah the price we pay for being human and having a brain, amirite haha
It's to be expected, to a certain point, that people simply don't understand that things like comics and cartoons take time. General impatience is something that can be ignored. If people asking for updates bothered us, we wouldn't post anywhere ever haha You gotta have at least SOME backbone if you want to do a comic. Or anything really.
Comics are a TON of work, and I knew this going in cuz I've done shorter comics before. It is not to be treated as if its easy. (Well, its easier than animating a whole series by yourself LOL) There's a lot of pre-comic planning that people don't tell you about. And that's just the stuff you have to do before you even start drawing. Of course this only applies to long-form storytelling, there's different rules for different kinds of comics.
And I won't even get into what it takes to making the comic itself, there's a lot of parts that need to be considered like formatting, time-management, what shortcuts you have to take to save on labor, and getting across as much information as you can in a short amount of time, while using mostly visuals. It's a skill, so it can be learned haha
A lot of doing comics is on-the-job training. Which I know can be frustrating for perfectionists, but from a reader's perspective, part of the joy of webcomics is seeing how far the art has come. And you can't exactly get out a webcomic if you keep redoing things over and over. You'll burn yourself out even faster. This is why it's important to have a plan lol it just makes it easier to adjust if you have to change things, than if you have no plan at all.
Even if RJ and I for whatever reason no longer felt passionate about this story, and wanted to move on to something else entirely, we wouldn't leave everyone hanging. We'd tell everyone what happens one way or another. Because too many people just abandon a story just to tell another one, and that's not fair to people who were here to read a story that appealed to them.
But the entitlement of people sucks, the constant heckling, the fact we can't moderate our own comment section, and more importantly Webtoons just sucks as a site anyway. - Cat
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bl4nk-pag3 · 2 years ago
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— Disconnected ✨️
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synopsis: it's a strange day, but zhanghao's presence can make it even weirder.
pairing: zhanghao × gn!reader
warnings: reader usually wears makeup, but not in this day. they are friends with hanbin, hanbin is friends with zhanghao and zhanghao its friends with keita.
word count: 1.3k
a/u: I was listening to dance dance by fall out boy when writing this... it's a little while since I writed so much, but I'm kinda happy on how it turned out, I just love hao so much and had to write something for his 1st place! also, english it's not my first language, im really bad at grammar. also this is purely inspired by that one haobin moment, and the fact that I indeed have a similar mole to zhanghao.
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Despite all the diligence of waking up early every day, getting a decent outfit to wear, putting on some makeup and fixing your hair just to go to college, there are days when it's impossible to deal with the idea of even opening your eyes with the sound of your alarm. Of course, that had already become a comforting routine in some way, it was almost like a reason to make you want to leave the house for the run, however on a day as cold as these, it was almost as if there was something calmly telling you to continue sleeping some more, until finally, even if you wanted to continue with the beauty routine, it would be impossible.
Staring at your reflection in the mirror, it wasn't really bad so to speak. You didn't hate yourself without makeup despite your lack of habit with how you looked without it to go to college. The baggy sweatshirt covering your body and a good part of your hair, the sweatpants and the clean face made you feel that it was nothing more than an outing to go to the market, and not that it bothered you, but it was in fact different, and that idea made you chuckle softly at your reflection, almost feeling foolish for such thought.
Anyways, the day flowed normally despite the abnormality in the routine, nobody really seemed to notice the lack of production to go to college because maybe nobody cared, in reality, and it started to grow inside your chest, a feeling of conformity, of simply accepting how perhaps this change would be more comfortable for you, even if it was indeed a weird one.
That is until you enter the fine arts class.
It hadn't been at the spot, or you hadn't noticed a change in the room at least until the middle of the class, completely focused on your notes and paying attention to all the information that the teacher practically threw in your direction, but when a quiet moment passed through the room, you casually lifted your eyes from the computer screen to rest them, looking up at the ceiling until they randomly landed on a pair of eyes that were already completely focused on you, which made your heart stop for a moment before processing that information.
It could have been anyone in that situation looking at you in a cold and enigmatic way, but it wasn't just anyone, it was Zhanghao. Zhanghao. He was staring at you and the only thing going through your mind was what the fuck could you have done to get the attention of the Chinese prodigy boy of the class himself.
He was as usual, handsome, impeccably groomed, just a few desks ahead of your own and apparently in a one-sided conversation with Keita, where only the Japanese man seemed interested in talking about everything and then some, barely caring about the lack of attention he was getting. received from Zhanghao, attention that for some reason was on you, of all people.
This kind of behavior was strange, you felt panic invade your being, scratching your own face and dividing your gaze between the boy, your desk, the computer still open in your notes on the document and back to Zhanghao, trying to understand why in no time he seemed intent on averting your gaze, like you were a puzzle too hard to understand or like you'd randomly grown a second head on your neck.
— He wants to talk to you — Hanbin's voice sounded calm next to him, almost mischievous if you were to be honest with what you had heard, but there was no reason for the Korean to make a joke about the situation, even though he was a colleague who always was sitting next to you, he was much closer to Zhanghao than you could ever dream of being. Turning your body to the tall man, he casually adjusted his thin-rimmed glasses on his face before laughing, as if the whole situation was one big comic relief for his life. — He's weird like that, Hao-hyung... He doesn't know how to ask for things.
And with that, before even giving you a second to understand the situation, he simply raised his hand, whistling low to get the attention of both the little Terazono and Zhanghao who were nearby, but not enough to have overheard what he had said, secreted to you. Calling the two with his hand, the mischievous smile only seemed to grow on Sung's face as he saw those dominoes cascading in line.
— Are you crazy? Why are you calling him here? — The panic was almost palpable on your tone, even in your wide eyes as your gaze shifted from the duo in front of you two getting up to approach, and back to Hanbin who looked satisfied with what he had done. You didn't know why Zhanghao wanted to interact, he had never done that, he was a closed, quiet boy and had a small circle of friends only including the best students in his course, the interest in you didn't seem genuine at all, so you could have just fucked with something.
However, your complaints didn't seem to affect the Korean beside you at all, who just nodded at the two new guests who were sitting in the front rows, completely facing the two of you, or rather, facing Hanbin, even if you still sometimes could feel Zhanghao's curious look on yout face, as if he was really looking for something.
— Why did you call? I was explaining about the upcoming competition to Hao. Can you believe he wanted to play the violin? I said no, we should dance, because that wins competitions... It's like Y/ni instead of dancing just painted something! Nothing against your paintings, but it doesn't attract the audience, and... — Keita really doesn't he seemed like the type who needed someone to listen to him most of the time, once he felt comfortable, it was as if the words just flowed from his lips, and Hanbin being such a good listener with such pertinent comments , it was the perfect distraction for the Japanese, only now did you notice what he was doing.
Turning your gaze to Zhanghao, it was there again, that gaze that suffocated you more and more for not understanding what he meant behind it. The chinese boy had always been introverted like that, you had noticed being Hanbin's casual colleague, however seeing it up close was really something.
— Zhanghao...? Is there something on my face? — For a moment you saw a different glint in the taller one’s eyes, as if he had finally woken up and seen how strange he had been acting all that time, making him suddenly shy with the confrontation, scratching the back of his head in order to console himself for a moment, giving you the prime view of the tips of his ears turning a bright red that suited him.
— There's nothing on your face... It's just that I've never noticed that you have a mole here. — In an almost subconscious way, Zhanghao just reached out the index finger of his elegant hand to subtly touch the high of your cheek, almost automatically regretting it, even without saying so, pointing in the same moment to his own beauty mark, on the same place, just mirrored. — It's just like mine.
It was strange, it was usually at these times that a heavy and uncomfortable mood would appear, but all you could do was laugh in relief at how Zhanghao could be just adorable with such silly and random information. And even if for a moment, your laughter almost seemed to charm the tall boy in front of you, making him blink slowly in your direction.
— Maybe we have a lot in common, Hao.
The sentence came out naturally from your lips, as if all that had been programmed, as if fate had made all its turns so that you could be there in that half-empty classroom, with Keita and Hanbin's judgmental gazes on the two of you, and you and Zhanghao just smiling like two idiots at each other. A promising, hopeful start for you who couldn't even imagine one day talking to the so frightening and icy Zhanghao.
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caffstrink · 2 years ago
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do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?
First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.
1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art
2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc
3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche
4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it
5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.
6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio
7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.
8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.
9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card
10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.
And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞
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velvetvexations · 26 days ago
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(seems like the ask i sent last time about this didnt go through but apologies if it did) kink confession. i finally found a fetish i am into that is embarrassing to admit for non-"problematic" reasons and its fucking. wedgies. whyyyyy. in hindsight i should have seen this coming because i have vague memories of making shitty wedgie art as a kid because of that signature funny feeling about it but apparently i fully locked away those memories lol. its even funnier because i usually get squicked out by regular degradation/humiliation/pain stuff but i guess this specifically is fine for some reason? its also one of those ones where i prefer it completely removed from any fantasy where i am actually involved so maybe thats why (ace and not particularly interested in actual sex. you might remember me from one or more of the forcemasc anons a while back lol)
I've gotten a few wedgie anons before so you're definitely not alone. It's one of my earliest kinks tbh even though it's not something I think about much now. But like, when I was a kid, and I watched the episode of The Amanda Show where the lady doctor gets a wedgie? That had an impact on me.
Checking in on someone who used to draw a lot of forcefem and seeing a brand new "Pronouns: She/Her" on her page made me unexpectedly happy. Not because becoming a woman is necessarily an improvement, but finding out a part of yourself through artistic expression is always wonderful. Happy for her :) (idk why I wanted to share with you specifically but I think you're super cool so it was probably that)
Yeah, that's awesome!
Cleaning dream anon here: what’s your fee for a cleaner? By which I obviously mean how much do I need to pay you to be allowed to scrub your floors with my tits shaking and lick your toilet clean and only be allowed a break when you have gas or need a punching bag?
As much as you can pay, obviously.
Im the non sexual doscomfort anon and i need you to know that you calling me ‘the mark’ made me loterally whimper, out loud, very pathetixally. And then let my sinner go cold before eating it because it seemes like you would apprectaite that.
lmao sometimes "the sub" just doesn't sound right you know
i "discovered" a new kink of mine thanks to some anons a while back: forcefamily. being lured into a couples car because they asked you to help load their groceries but, oh no, looks like they left their keys up front and the only way in is through the trunk. so you crawl in and... click! welcome to the family, kiddo!
that sounds like it'd be a horror movie from the past ten years that I hate but everyone else calls groundbreaking
to the anon who sent a message about not being into bimbofication but into being a creepy loser girl: I hope you know that bimbo x loser as you described is gonna be my warm up project for when I buckle down to write soon
content!
Forcefem was very unpopular and considered transmisogynistic just years ago by popular tumblr. It's even considered that way now if it's called 'sissy' or 'sissification' kink. That it's now being considered woke is very silly to me, but at least people aren't getting into fights over it anymore (<- irony)
If I were a pretentious fuckwit like some of the forcefem girlies on this site I'd say sissification is the good kind and everyone else is into some real poser ass lame bullshit but since I'm Cool and Nice I'm just like yeah everyone can enjoy what they like.
Whenever life gets hard I remind myself that I have beatable udders and no self esteem and therefore Velvet would find a use for me
I sure would anon.
every now and then (though, admittedly, it happens rarely), i see transmasc transformation comics/sequences being reposted with the posters jumbling up the pictures in reverse order or just claiming it's read from right to left so it's a male to female TF comic instead and also denying that it's female to male and i'm like ??? there's twenty male to female TF comics for every female to male TF, like, you (in general, not you as a person) don't have to do that, there's so much content for you :/ it also happens with a bunch of kinks that have a bit more of a female character focus, but i just noticed it here again
that reminds me when my favorite kink artist (Octoboy) was objecting to having art he made edited to be about girls since he made content specifically intending to fill niches for people who liked boys
Octoboy's art is actually responsible for about 80% of me liking boys lmao I was so so lucky to get a commission from him a decade or more ago when he was still fairly cheap because he deservedly charges way more now
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bangtanficsforyou · 2 years ago
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Girl of His Dreams (01)
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Pairing: Fuckboi! Jungkook x Reader
Au: Strangers to Lovers au
Genre: Angst, fluff, smut (eventually)
Rating: 18+
Word count: 5K (approx)
Summary: You think Jungkook is the utter definition of beauty. Jungkook thinks you’re cute but just not his type. Throw a magic ring into the equation, that makes you look like the girl of his dreams and you have the perfect recipe for heartbreak and tears.
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Main Masterlist | Prologue
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If you enjoy my writing, consider supporting me on my patreon!
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You're sure that the majority of people hate Mondays. Dread it even. You, on the other hand, used to look forward to Mondays because Mondays meant art classes. However, for the first time, you find yourself being a part of the Monday hater club. You just wish you could skip this day and remove its existence entirely. Or at least for this semester.
In the less than three days that you got to spend with your family, you had your fair share of relaxing moments. But after coming back to your dorms, it's like a part of you has realised that these distraction techniques are only temporary. Because there's no way for you to run away from the impact Jungkook's words have had on you.
Thankfully, yesterday you were tired from the journey and your mind did not have the energy to overthink. Which, you also think, is the reason why you could fall asleep so easily.
But now it's Monday which means art classes, which means you will see Jungkook again. There's no avoiding it. Worst of all, it's the first class of your day and you don't even have the time to prepare yourself.
As you make your way through the hallways and towards your designated room, your mind rushes to come up with all the ways in which you should be prepared to face Jungkook. It's like this one thing that you need to get right in order to save whatever amount of dignity you are left with.
Your imagination, however, is put to a halt when you find yourself in front of your class.
Gosh, this is going to be stressful.
You take a deep breath and tightly shut your eyes, before swinging the door of your classroom open. When you open them again, your eyes land on Jungkook's back, automatically.
Shit, he's already here and is sitting on your seat.
The sight of him, causes you to take a step back and you start second-guessing if you're ready to face him. It's not so much about his words anymore but rather how your body is reacting to seeing him. You were not feeling this way even a few moments ago and could have never predicted having to battle your thoughts like this.
You also don't have it in you to sit back and process the emotions you're feeling when your mind and body are screaming at you to run in the opposite direction. Somewhere away from Jungkook.
"Hey," someone taps on your shoulder, aggressively. "Do you plan to stand here for the rest of the day?"
You wince and face the person, only to roll your eyes when you realise who it is. "Can you for once, not be so aggressive?"
Brie rolls her eyes right back at you. "If I hadn't tapped you so hard, you might still be in your depressing dream world."
Shit. Are you making it obvious? In case you're, you can't have that. One of the many things that you had planned on, was to not show how affected and in turmoil you are. Because getting butthurt by people's words is not cool. It's childish and immature. Unfortunately, even though you want to, you can't do anything about the fact that the words had an impact on you, but you can work on not showing it and making it obvious.
Even if you're weak, you do not want to appear weak.
Not bothering to reply to Brie, you start walking towards your seat. You can't avoid facing him, what's the point of delaying it? You think you hear a "rude" coming from Brie but you don't pay much attention to it.
"Good morning, art girl," Jungkook says in greeting. When you respond to him with a simple nod and wordlessly ask him to scoot, he takes the hint that you're not interested in making conversations with him.
Understandable, he thinks. His words weren't exactly nice. But they had to be spoken. He had to make it clear that he isn't interested in you in some way or the other, sooner or later.
One might ask, why then, is he sitting next to you when he could have chosen any other seat? Well, your seat is right in front of the podium, so when he has to get up there to pose, he will have to walk the least. Plus, he didn't think it was important to change seats, anyway. He knows you won't mistake his actions again. Heck, you are not even talking to him, so why should he give up his ideal seat? A few moments of awkwardness is nothing he can't handle.
So, the two of you sit in silence with you occasionally operating on your phone, to find some distraction. For you, the atmosphere could not be any more suffocating.
Thankfully, around ten minutes later, your professor arrives, which gives you a bit of hope that you'll finally be out of your misery.
It takes a few moments of Miss Richardson chit-chatting with the class for the class to really begin. When Jungkook leaves your side you heave a deep sigh of relief as it feels like you can breathe again.
You arrange your materials and get ready to continue with the sketch. When you look up again, Jungkook is already shirtless and posing the same way he did in the last class.
You take a deep breath and take a look at your incomplete sketch. Hmmm. Where should you start with? As soon as the thought comes to mind, the eyes catch your attention. Something is missing. They need more details and some highlighting.
You involuntarily nod to yourself and make your decision. Eyes it is!
Quickly looking up, you take notice of Jungkook's eyes and then back to your sketch. Making a few quick observations, your pencil comes in contact with the paper to add some strokes at the corners of the eyes. After feeling satisfied, you look up again, to see what else you could add.
After a few moments of staring, you notice that there's a certain level of innocence in Jungkook's eyes. You look back to your sketch and notice that despite the strokes that you added, the eyes lack the ability to convey emotions and fail to stand out.
Your hands quickly get to work and you work on the irises. Your eyes do a quick back and forth between Jungkook and the sketch.
When you look up for the umpteenth time, you happen to find his eyes closed for a very brief moment as he blinks. When he opens his eyes, it's almost as if your brain starts to look at him from a completely different angle. Like one of those illusions, where you blink and only then does your brain catch up and sees the object for what it is.
It's almost as if you're seeing his eyes for the first time. And for the first time do you see the amount of beauty they hold. His eyes are so captivating and mysterious. It's like there's a library of books inside them, and you find yourself wondering what each of those books contain. You do not mind the idea of spending an eternity reading each and every book with great care so that you don't miss a single detail.
The feeling of a certain warmth blooming in your chest, grabs your attention and your face falls when you realise what exactly you were thinking.
Not again, you think. You can't do that again. You simply cannot afford to go down that road.
The feeling fuels a certain kind of anger in your veins and you find yourself feeling determined to finish the drawing as quickly as you possibly can. Because completing the sketch means not having to see Jungkook anymore.
Once you have caught your breath and are ready to start again, you pick up your pencil and get back to work. Unfortunately, it does not take too long for the thoughts to slip again. It's like his eyes have captivated you and you don't know how to get out.
As your anger turns into frustration, you admit defeat and think that it's a wise decision to work on the other body parts. You can get to the eyes again when your brain isn't behaving like it's on some sort of drug.
Focusing on the arms now, you restart. But much to your utter dismay, the same pattern follows. It only takes a few moments for you to notice how huge and sculpted his arms look. Your frustration grows as you keep trying to focus on other body areas but your thoughts keep going back to admiring his beauty and soon you find yourself running out of areas to work on.
Your agitation causes you to put an intense amount of pressure on the nib of your pencil until it breaks. The sight of the broken nib causes you to sigh and you feel pain at the thought of not being able to focus on the one thing you do right. When you feel tears pool in your eyes, you get up from your seat.
"Ma'am, I'm not feeling well, can I please be excused for a few moments?" You ask in a meek voice.
Miss Richardson, is one of those professors who's strict but at the same time gentle and observant. It might appear as if all she's been doing is sitting and updating grades on her laptop but in reality, she has also been keeping a close eye on the students and their activities.
By your constant fidgeting and squirming, it was obvious to her that no matter how hard you were trying to focus, for whatever reason, your mind was stuck somewhere else.
So when you come up to her asking if you could be excused, she is more than willing.
As soon as you're out, you beeline to the washroom. Locking the doors, you repetitively splash your face with cold water. If it was a movie, it would be one of those scenes where the female protagonist splashes water to get some sense back into her and then looks into the mirror with eyes heavy with emotion.
But this isn't a movie.
Although you look into the mirror with your hands gripping the edges of the sink tightly and your eyes are heavy with emotion, this is not a movie. Because you aren't pretty enough to be the main protagonist.
With that thought, it all comes crashing down. Every emotion that you couldn't make sense of suddenly starts making sense.
You aren't naive or foolish enough to think that Jungkook is the only good-looking man out there. There are people who are just as good-looking or maybe even more. The world is not limited to him.
But how does that make any difference?
Like every other person, you have had dreams of your prince charming, of your soulmate and what your 'forever' person would look like. In all of those, he was someone breathtaking, someone gorgeous and someone who's the utter definition of beauty. They loved you unconditionally and were just as much in awe with you, as you were with them.
Never did you consider the possibility that they might find you unattractive.
You are also, aware that just because Jungkook implied that he finds you unattractive or not conventionally good-looking, does not mean every other guy will hold the same opinion of you. But then, your history with men or lack thereof, simply proves that no one has ever found you good-looking either.
Why would they? You've got eyes and you can point out a hundred things wrong with your face in the blink of an eye. Everyone dreams of their loved one to radiate beauty and charm. And you're neither beautiful nor charming. Why would anyone choose you?
With your eyes locked with your reflection, you realise that you don't just feel unattractive. You feel unlovable.
When you were sketching Jungkook and observing those little details, you weren't only observing his physical features but also how easily lovable he is. How easy it is to love him and how he won't ever have to struggle to find love.
His beauty was only making you feel small and inferior.
A drop of tear falling on your wrist makes you realise that you have been silently crying all this while. The realisation only makes you think how pathetic you are to be crying in the bathroom about how you look. You're ugly but also so uncool.
The worst part is that there's nothing that you can do about it. You'll have to live with this face for the rest of your life. And maybe, you'll struggle the entirety of your life to find love. That is if you even do.
A warm sensation on your finger catches your attention once more but this time when you look down, it isn't a teardrop but rather the ring. The same ring that your mother gifted you a few days ago.
You had worn it to class thinking that it looks pretty and matches quite well with your outfit.
But now that the area in contact with the ring starts getting warmer and warmer, your confusion keeps increasing along with it.
Although the warmth isn't uncomfortable, you remove the ring from your finger. The moment the tips of your fingers come in contact with the metal, you realise that the ring in itself is warm and is well above room temperature.
Your immediate instinct is to touch the other ring you are wearing but to your complete surprise, you find that the ring is cold. This observation only causes you to frown harder.
You turn the faucet on and place the ring under it. Once you deem that it's been enough time for the ring's temperature to drop, you turn the water off. You dry the ring by wiping the remaining water off with some tissue paper.
To your utter disbelief, the ring remains just as warm.
But how the fuck is that even possible?
This is a clear slap on the face to the laws of thermodynamics, that you spent so much time learning!
Could….could it actually be some sort of a magical ring?
You remember thinking about the ring last night and how you didn't even entertain the thought of this ring being magical even for a second. Those sorts of things only exist in fantasy worlds. You'd be incredibly stupid to ever consider the possibility of it being one. You had peacefully settled on the conclusion that your mom only played a prank on you.
But right now, you are doubting everything.
It's not just how stubbornly it remains warm but also how it got warm out of nowhere. You cannot explain any of these things using logic.
"Hmm but not just any ordinary ring. The one who puts this on you will start seeing you as their dream partner."
Your mother's words ring in your head.
Ordinary ring? You cannot yet say that it's not an ordinary ring. But unlike before, you find yourself unable to rule out that possibility. This only makes you want to know for sure, what the deal with the ring is.
But how do you put the ring to test? One possible way is to wait for the ring to get heated up again or do something that isn't natural. But who knows when that will be?
The other option available to you is, to check whether the ring does what your mom claims, it's supposed to do.
With your decision being made, you wear the ring back, wipe your tears and clean your face a little bit before heading out to find someone who can help you with your little experiment.
You'll deal with your emotions later (hopefully in the dorms), first you have got a ring that you need to figure out, about.
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You have been thinking a lot.
You have been going through classes, blankly staring at the board while your mind remains somewhere else. On the ring, to be very specific. It hasn't been off your mind for a single moment.
Until now of course, as you find yourself in front of Jungkook's class once again. Why? Because you missed your art class and now you need to take a picture of his so that you can complete your sketch.
Although this isn't ideal, you think it's still better than having to be battling your thoughts in the middle of a classroom.
You have to wait for a few minutes until the bell rings. As students start coming out, your heartbeat increases and your hands start getting clammy. However, you aren't as nervous as you were before, because now your focus isn't solely on Jungkook. Somewhere at the back of your mind is the ring.
When you spot Jungkook, he's surrounded by a few of his friends. You clear your throat and put up a facade of confidence, before walking up to him. When he notices you, a confused frown appears on his face.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" You ask, with eyes as blank as they can be.
Jungkook nods and tells his friends that he will join them in a minute before turning back to you. "Wassup?"
"I could not attend today's class, I had to leave midway because I wasn't feeling well. But I need to complete the sketch so I will have to take a picture of yours." You say in a single breath, letting it all out. The longer you remain under Jungkook's gaze the more you find yourself willing to hide. For a moment, you forgot how powerful his gaze can be and how small it can make you feel. It would be fair to say that now the ring is pretty much out of your mind and all you're focused on is getting out of here as quickly as possible.
"Have you talked about it to your professor?" He shoots another question. He does not mean to sound judgemental but you look like someone who's highly cautious about their grades and who would do anything to maintain them. Who knows, maybe you are here asking him without actually referring it to your professor.
"Of course, I have," involuntarily, a scoff escapes your lips. For the first time, you feel a bit of anger towards the boy. How dare he think that you would be here asking him about it without consulting with your professor first? That would be highly immoral as that would be cheating and unfair to the other students. It's also about his tone of query, it did not sound like a genuine question. Rather one, where he seemed to have formed his own opinion beforehand.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow at your offended stance and finds amusement in it. "Cool then, you can take a picture but what do I get in return?"
Your anger is replaced by surprise and mild panic. You don't have anything you could give to him in return. "What do you mean by that?"
"I'll tell you what, art girl, I'm currently in the mood for some tacos," Jungkook answers, giving you a hint of what exactly it is that he wants.
Realisation clicks and then your face falls. Shit, you'll have to spend more time with him in the name of bribing him. Your stomach churns at the thought and a new wave of anxiety rolls over you. How long are you going to manage to be in his presence without experiencing the same mental breakdown you did a few hours ago?
Unfortunately, if you have to complete your assignment, you will have to spend some more time with Jungkoo–
Jungkook!
The name loudly echoes in your mind.
Jeon Jungkook. He's the ideal man to put the ring on your finger.
Why?
Because he, never in his wildest dreams will consider you to be his dream woman. If after putting the ring on you, it somehow affects the way he views you, that will be no less than a miracle and proof that the ring indeed is magical.
Suddenly, you find yourself looking forward to treating him. A change in your body language which Jungkook notices.
"You know that's not me asking you on a date, right?" He asks with a clearly worried frown that you might mistake his words again.
Your heart shrinks at his comment. How lowly must he think of you? But you try to put that aside and give him a small smile. "Don't worry. I know."
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It wasn't that difficult for both of you to find an empty classroom to click the picture in. You were once again overthinking and stressing about being alone with Jungkook but somehow the nonchalant way in which he removed his shirt, without a second thought, gave you enough courage to behave like a normal person. You're the only one who's stressing and making it out to be a big deal when everyone else is just doing fine.
You clicked your photo and now you're fulfilling your end of the deal aka bribing him aka paying for his tacos. While you're at it, it's only fair that you got a burger for yourself. You can't just sit there and watch him eat, things are already awkward enough for you.
As you and Jungkook chew on your food, he keeps swiping on his phone and you keep wondering what is the ideal way in which you can make him put the ring on you.
You can't just ask him to do it directly. You have already made a fool out of yourself before, you can't do that again.
But what other options do you have?
Jungkook feels your intense stare on the side of his face and sighs. Guess, he will have to make some conversation. It's rude to make you pay for the food and not even put some effort into making a conversation with you.
He locks his phone and puts it in his pocket. "So what exactly happened when you weren't feeling well? Like a headache? A stomach ache?"
His words snap you out of your train of thought and it takes a few moments to register his words. When they do, you can't help but notice the irony. The very person who caused your mental breakdown is asking about it, with zero clues about the impact his words and actions have had on you. But then he's not to be blamed, your mind reminds you. He only spoke the truth. Sooner or later, someone might have told you the very same thing and caused the bubble of your daydreams to pop.
"Nothing serious was just feeling heavily nauseous," you say with a shrug, wanting to keep your answer short so that you don't have to recall the events.
A small crease forms on his forehead. If you were feeling nauseous, what on earth are you doing eating a burger now? It's only been what, three hours since art class? You should not be eating junk food three hours from when you were feeling nauseous, it will make things worse. He knows it from his own experience and the memory of it causes him to wince.
Noticing that there's a look of displeasure on his face, you quickly attempt to divert the question elsewhere, in fear of what he might have to say.
"Where did you get that shirt from?" You blurt out but then smack yourself mentally at the absurdity of the question. Who the fuck asks where they got a plain white shirt from? They are available everywhere!
"This?" He asks as if making sure you're talking about the shirt he's wearing. When you nod, confirming he shrugs. "I might be wrong but I think it's from Target."
You look elsewhere in embarrassment when you reply out a hum. But it's when you're looking around that you notice a woman wiping her hands on a tissue paper. The sight causes an idea to pop into your head.
"But why are you asking where my shirt is from?"
"Nothing, the shirt just looks like it's made of good quality fibre." you chuckle awkwardly as your thumb fiddles with the ring and gradually loosens it enough so that it can come out easily.
Jungkook squints his eyes in suspicion as he leans forward to observe you. "This shirt could not be made of cheaper quality fibre."
"Hehe," you say (yes, you literally say hehe) with a wince. "That aside, can you help me put this ring on?"
You point to the golden ring that now lies on the table surface and then point to your greasy right hand, in an attempt to explain why you can't put it on yourself.
Jungkook, thankfully, doesn't think much of it. He picks the ring up with his left hand and wordlessly asks which finger you wear it on. You lift your ring finger to give your answer and moments later, he's gliding the ring on your finger.
When Jungkook looks up at you, he finds that his vision has turned blurry and the harder he tries to focus, the more a splitting headache appears on the right side of his brain. He puts his hands on his head in hopes that it would give him some comfort but it doesn't help at all.
Your brows furrow in concern when you see the uncomfortable look in his eyes. "Jungkook, are you okay?"
Your voice faintly reaches his ears but the words do not register and he definitely does not manage to respond.
"Jungkook?"
The voices start fading out and his eyes start getting droopy.
"Jungkook!"
That's the last thing he hears before he blanks out completely.
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Permanent Taglist:
@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun
Series taglist:
@youremyjinearth @charcutetaerie @hunbun07 @jyupuff @rosieatron @armydgirl @heartjiminie @leedoesntknaur @j3oooonsnsns @teteschim @azur3s @berryonasummerevening
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skunkes · 3 months ago
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I know this might not be a fun thing to think about but have you tried actually considering jobs you'd like to do someday and how you'd work towards them? You talk about art a lot but frankly I'd never recommend turning your single hobby into a career. I know it sounds silly but take some quizzes (not like BuzzFeed. Long quizzes on .orgs) on the subject and look over the results. Maybe you'll find a goal you can move towards outside of just leaving home, which only sometimes seems to make you happy. Personally I started going to college late (community college is wonderful and easy to afford if you're low income because of pell grants) with the goal of working towards a full time job that wouldn't make me want to die. Rn I work part-time, which you may also be able to get away with if you have roommates! It's a bullshit job but since I'm moving towards something it really helps me keep my head up!
Yes and no! Ive never wanted an art career even as a kid which is why its been so hard um for the entire rest of my life. I want an office job but thats very vague and i dont know anything more specific other than i dont want to be in charge of people or more important things LMAO
every job here pays $8/hr so if i had to go to work AND still live here id kms. Id still have 0 time for anything with my dad demanding my time not spent at work. Theres some opportunities kinda there out of town for me rn with some friends' help but idk if im equipped to survive, and its also scary bc i have no plan for an After (if i did get any of the jobs ykwim. Like if i got laid off or didnt like it id have to come back home i guess bc idk what else id want to do After. I have 0 clue on what im ever going to do...)
In summary: i have looked into it...! All i ever do is look up jobs and careers and experiences on reddit then i tear my hair out because nothing sounds tolerable or achievable and even with a specific degree the entry level job you need to spend years working in before you barely start making a livable wage might not ever hire you and thats usually when i make panic vent posts about how i have 0 future 😭 the potential stuff im looking into sounds tolerable but idk how much it pays yet...and then well all the stuff i mentioned about the loneliness and escalating of life difficulty for no real reason
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ryuichirou · 4 months ago
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Replies
Some replies! One about drawing, another one about Ortho, and then some other TWST ones.
Anonymous asked:
Hello Ryu! I hope you and Katsu are doing well. I wanted to ask you: how do you manage to post daily? what motivates you? I just admire how you manage to post quality content every day, I enjoy everything so much! and another question: how do you fight hand pain? I do draw daily, but I end up with hand/wrist cramps and it's worrying me, what would you recommend? Amazing art as always!
Hi Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words.
I actually talked about our motivation and the ungodly amount of sketches (lol) that I produce here! But in short, I’ve always loved drawing, and I spend the majority of my time drawing. Not everything that we post daily is new stuff: we have a big backlog of sketches, and Katsu helps me to manage it. Since I can focus on drawing and Katsu takes care of posting, it’s actually feels easier.
As for the second question, the most important main thing is PLEASE don’t overwork your hand! The moment you feel wrist cramps, take a break immediately, or if the pain is too much, better stop for the day, even if you really want to continue :( I am lucky to have pretty good stamina when it comes to this, but this is also partially because I stop immediately if I start to feel tired, plus never draw after my lengthy timeslot dedicated to drawing is over.
Here are a couple of more things that could possibly help:
Pay attention to the way you move your arm when you draw. Prioritise moving your elbow and using your entire arm instead of just moving your hand and wrist. Also try not to squeeze your pen too much, as it tends to make muscles tenser, at least in my experience.
Take short breaks every once in a while to stretch and do exercises for your wrist. These work nicely, but I also love to just… not do anything with my hand at all for like 5 minutes, to let muscles relax a bit.
If your muscles are tense after drawing, warming them up also makes it feel better. I just hold my wrist under warm water lol But there are better ways to do it.
Oh, and check if you do something else with your hand that might also put pressure on it during the day. If you use PC, for example, and sit in front of a desk, then your elbow should be on its surface (the reason for that is in my first point of this list), otherwise you strain your wrist muscles with that position. This is just an example, but it might help to find other reasons why your hand can be tired even before you start drawing. If not, that’s also fine! Drawing is hard enough to do that kind of damage on its own.
If nothing helps and you still feel cramps, you should of course talk to your doctor about it. Maybe they’ll have better advice than I do. Please be very careful with your hand, these muscles are not the ones that should feel slightly sore after a workout unlike a bunch of others, this strain (and pain) can do irreversible damage to your hand and should not be treated lightly. It’s better to take frequent breaks and draw later than to lose the ability to draw (and do other everyday things along with it) at all.
Take care of yourself, Anon <3
Anonymous asked:
wow a whole shroudcest ask post!!! kissing each of the askers consensual and platonically on the mouth, i love that y'all in this fandom. also agree, Ortho should use his beams as a treat when not allowed to join mature content that has first years, it makes me really sad for him!! Epel is super small and he gets to join????? sometimes he's even ''aged up'' (and stays short and small, i see that) lmao like what, Ortho can't be aged up too? the double standards are staggering
sometimes i assume he's just hard to draw, it's fair when mecha and armor are difficult for some people and i often see those two in won't draw lists in commissions, but also?? you don't have to draw when writing?? at least in writing, he should show up more, i'm doing my part at least in the orthoreader and orthooc tags on ao3. his crotch being bare is a feature, not a flaw.
(related to this post)
I am so happy and shocked that so many people wrote such long and lovely messages!! Everyone GETS IT…
Yeah, Epel also gets to join all the time, but somehow Ortho isn’t! This absolutely isn’t fair lol He would be super pissed about it.
I agree with you though that it is related to his design. Of course, the majority of people who complain about Ortho don’t even attempt to draw him as they aren’t artists, but I think a lot of aspects of his appearance are somewhat… “off-putting” to them? It feels like it’s a very strong word, but: his height, his “heels”, the waist and crotch parts of his gear, plus he isn’t very manly and ikemen-like, instead his appeal is that he is a cutie and sometimes a “kusogaki” type. This is why some people just don’t like him at all, and some people don’t like him and cover it up by saying “awww nooo he is just a baby, look at him, he is a kid right?”
I am happy you’re providing people with written Ortho-related content, Anon 💪 He would be so proud and grateful!
Anonymous asked:
Your chibi lillia just looks so adorable, he looks so chewable
Hehehe thank youuu!! Please chew on his chibi cheeks.
irregardlessly-tish asked:
Have you seen the new design that was announced? (Trying to keep it vague in case people don't know which character it is, I don't want to ruin the surprise lol) From an artist point of view, what do you think? I was kind of disappointed by it… I'm not sure if it's Yana's design or not, her characters have so much personality but this one looks just… so generic? Love his suit, the glasses are a great touch to represent this character's eyes (orlackthereof) but everything else feels so uninspired in my opinion. I know this is the pretty anime boy villain game but this one is just too much of a pretty anime boy and I hate this fluffy pretty anime boy hair...
I have! And I will spoil it so please don’t read my reply if you don’t want to know who it is lol
To be completely honest, I am not sure what to think yet; I kind of want to see the full design and also to see him in action. He does feel very different from Rollo and Fellow&Gidel, and maybe this is one of the reasons why he might feel underwhelming: those guys have very colourful designs and a lot of accessories, plus somewhat clearer silhouette (Rollo’s hat is iconic, Fellow also has a hat and fox ears, and that makes them very distinct right away), and the new guy… it’s hard to tell yet, but I think it’s kind of difficult to make a skeleton design work on the same level both in terms of his monochrome colour scheme and the fact that he is, in fact, a skeleton-like creature.
I know there are a lot of jokes about Gojo that people make (I am one of those people), and I think that some people aren’t as excited for the new guy because of that (the feeling that we’ve seen him around a lot already, because young!Gojo was everywhere very recently). But I do agree with you: the glasses are indeed a very good touch and a very smart addition design-wise.
I am also personally excited to see Undertaker vibes from him, but that’s personal lol
So yeah, I’m not sure for now. I really want to see more of him before making proper judgment. I absolutely see your point though. I think if he turns out to be a fun character, his design elements will also become fun and enjoyable, just in a different way.
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cuppa-ale · 6 months ago
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I really wish that I was more interested in things. More invested and curious w/o someone needing to show it to me directly. Right now, I feel like it's really difficult because no matter what I do, I feel empty and lonely and it feels like a self-perpetuating cycle.
I want to be enthusiastic and into things, but I feel like I'm going to be abandoned or shrugged off and I can't shake that lonely feeling that makes me feel sick. And yet I also know that I can't be part of anything or get other people interested if I'm not interested, but I feel so sick because of the loneliness that I don't even want to try for fear of hurting myself more, and it loops all around. I don't want to think this way. Sometimes I don't, but it always comes back.
I feel like I desperately want to ask for validation and attention, yet I feel dumb because of that- yet I would never begrudge anyone else for wanting the same. I actually wish that people were more upfront like that, because it's normal to want those things, and no one can know if you don't speak up. Sometimes people just don't know or are socially awkward, speaking from experience. And I'm often left wondering and guessing about what I can or can't do, so somebody being upfront would be so, so massively helpful.
And yet I also know why I try to keep most people at arms' length too- I feel so afraid that I can't trust them to not hurt or abandon me or someone else for liking a character or a ship or whatever that they don't. And that may sound dumb as hell (because it is) but that also makes it extremely hard to find community or camaraderie in fan or hobby circles in general. There is always, always a hint of doubt in my mind and I hate it. I don't want to go through that again. God, I don't want to go through that again.
And I worry that I don't have much to offer another person bc of how sincerely exhausted and hermited I am.
I feel overworked and overwhelmed in my daily life. Even if I could get past this anxiety, I barely have time for anything outside of manual labor, housekeeping, caretaking, and yet I still feel like a disappointment and that I could be doing more if my brain wasn't so fucked up.
I am so tired. And I feel like I really don't have an escape or outlet. I feel so mediocre and selfish because I want so badly for someone to hold me and pay attention to me and help me and remind me that I'm not a lost cause piece of trash. But I'm also very aware of the fact that nobody can fix me or make my problems go away. I feel like I'm not happy no matter what and that scares me.
I feel like it also doesn't even matter what I do or don't do because no one is paying attention. That's probably really stupid too, but that's the mindset I get sometimes. I don't like thinking that way either.
I don't want to do things for the sake of attention or validation because that's not the reason why I do them, and I never ever want that to be the reason why. And yet I know that's what I crave, and it always rears its ugly head.
I believe that this is part of why I like Crayzar and Tyetaynus so much- Tyetaynus has been implied to be obsessed with Crayzar for years, hunting him down and "making him pay" for leaving him- but meanwhile, Crayzar just seems to not give a shit about his brother, and I think there's so much angst and drama and shit you can pull from that it's nuts. And so I really really want to make art that explores that bc I find Tyetaynus to be a super cathartic character and I want to express that "grief of what never came to be", "all i wanted was you", "I'm going to make you hurt like you made me hurt", and anger and all of those emotions and I hope it comes through, but I may as well talk about it here bc it actually makes me feel sane.
So I try to redirect those feelings into art and characters and stories in general, because idk what else to do with them. But it worries me bc again, it makes it so, so difficult to just be chill and relax and feel like I can indulge or be curious about something bc I have this horrible, paranoid, looming feeling at all times that something is very wrong and that the something wrong is me and that everyone thinks it. (even if that's not the case. I fully believe that I suffer from paranoid delusions bc I've been affected by them so, so bad, only to find that it's unfounded or I'm just being dumb. I just want someone to tell me unequivocally at all times that everything is okay and I'm okay, and sometimes that's all I can think about.)
All I want to do is make stuff at the end of the day. The one thing I want to do above all else is make stuff, even if I have to find the time from being overworked and exhausted and sick. Even if I have to make myself sick while doing so, that is the very 1 one thing I want to do in this world before I leave it.
I want to work on the doll commission I started work on recently. I want to continue working on my OCs and preparations for my first original comic. I want to tell their stories. I want to draw weird and mushy and complicated ship art. I want to draw my brain wife. I want to draw silly self-inserts and whatever other trivial thing I can think of. I want to make gifts for my friends.
I want to keep going and I want to keep doing that no matter what. That's all I want to do. I have no choice. I want to make stuff and I want to share it and I want to keep doing that until I die, or until I no longer can.
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fleursom · 7 months ago
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hello ! bringing you my hot mess of a girl ZHONG LINA ( 22 ) who works as a gossip columnist @ the herald and abuses the hell out of her charm manipulation ( tldr she can effectively manipulate her own or the charisma of others to her liking. by doing so, she can either amplify her / their charm or do the exact opposite ). still have to add a few pages, but for now you'll find important stuff below the cut. a little red heart if you're looking to plot would be appreciated, thank you! x
image credits to moonaetics on tumblr.
I. SYNOPSIS
ZHONG LINA's story goes a little something like this ... she's born to a mother who's made herself quite the name in the dance industry. as someone so renowned, it's only a given that her daughters follow in her footsteps. yep, hers and not dad's because he's never been in the picture. anyway! both daughters learn dancing from as early as age three under the watchful eyes of their mother, though it quickly becomes apparent that lina's elder sister possesses an exceptional, possibly inert talent for the arts. lina wasn't terrible per se, but no matter how hard she worked, her mother would only sing praise to her sister (didn't help that she was scoring lead roles for stage plays left and right whereas lina was left with crumbs of supportive roles).
luck does have its own unpredictable ways though (re: mom is able to pull some strings), for lina's efforts land her a role that finally allows her to showcase the world her own talent. said role becomes crucial for her admission into sunhwa arts high school which pretty much marks the beginning of her demise. she moves countries, pushes herself way too hard all the damn time, practices day and night to keep up with her sister's seemingly natural talent, and somewhere along the path she discovers her powers: the ability to temporarily charm people.
she keeps her abilities to herself for obvious reasons, but you see — in an environment as competitive as her school, isn't it only natural for her to utilise her powers as best as she possibly can? so yes, of course she begins charming people around her. it serves her for a good while, helps her pass evaluations and lands her a dozen opportunities to advance her career. hell, she even receives a sprinkle of mommy's attention!
and then comes her downfall.
the worst possible thing happens: an injury that ruins not only her future but also forces her into a painfully long recovery phase. her sister stays thriving, lina is in shambles, and mother doesn't know what to do with a useless daughter. so there goes everything the poor girl has worked so hard for. she's young, and yet it feels as though she's wasted too many years on ballet to find something new ... start over. but dwelling over her misery isn't a choice either. so she ponders and ponders, stumbles upon the second chance collective and knows that it might be her only (second) chance at life ... as a gossip columnist (she swears she hasn't charmed her way into the position).
II. PERSONALITY
lina is ... cotton candy clouds on an orange tinted sky. she's the dainty glow across the horizon with a smile that's warm like spring's first sun rays and gentle like the caress of an afternoon breeze. she's laughter in twilight, sweet like honey drizzled over cinnamon toast. when you see her you think of delicate windchimes and sun catchers, of butterflies and golden clouds. lina is a walking ray of sunshine ... and fake as they come.
that's right — none of it is real. well, most of it isn't real. and why so? because 80% of the time she's charmed people enough to get away with things. she's a girl with expensive taste, and those expenses had to be paid if not gifted to her by somebody, no? not that her neighbours have ever questioned where all that money comes from. lina is an archangel a little damaged. growing up in a predominantly competitive environment has shaped her personality in complex ways. she's a perfectionist, pays way too much attention to detail and appearance, has a blunt communication style that can come off harsher than she intends to — but also grapples with vulnerability. she's very prone to second guessing other people's intentions and motives which makes socialising on a deeper level a little difficult for her ( how many genuine friends does she truly have ). and speaking of, the cunning minx knows how to hold grudges. now lina isn't terrible to have around per se! she can very much be fun and genuinely empathetic ... it just doesn't come as naturally to her as it should.
II. PLOTS
enemies? a neighbour she has yet to charm? a muse's beloved that she has exploited? co-workers who find her suspicious? a friend ... maybe two? meet uglies & meet cutes? maybe she does you a favour (charms someone for you)? somebody from her past? your muse witnesses lina in the act? honestly! would very much love to brainstorm a little something ( or perhaps take on a wanted connection of yours that may suit lina ) so if you're down, leave behind some love and i shall slide into those dms. little side note that it's busy szn for me so replies will be a tad slow. catch you around!
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monsieuroverlord · 4 days ago
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Could someone who has either commissioned artists and/or is an artist who has done commissions let me know if I'm being a complete tool or not?
Personal vent (warning -- very long):
I know it's a minor thing, but I feel like I'm going insane and I'm not sure if I'm being an asshole.
So, I like commissioning artists when I have a bit of extra money, right? It's fun! It's supposed to be fun! I like doing my own art and also paying artists for their art!
And in most cases, I have had wonderful results -- prompt and easy communication, relatively fair and/or quick delivery with amazing results. It's always so cool to see how people I commission interpret my requests/references.
But there's this one artist that is absolutely driving me insane. It all started back in May 2023, for my birthday, as a goofy indulgence for myself, I paid for a commission. The timing was perfect, as they had opened commissions a couple weeks before my birthday. It's digital art, which I know is generally quicker than traditional art. So I figure, I'll probably get this commission by my birthday if they're not too busy or sometime after. That's cool, I can wait. So, I paid upfront with a little tip included because a) it's my birthday, saving money is not for birthdays lol, b) their art is pretty and at the time, I felt they deserved a little tip for their hard work regardless, and c) I felt part of my request might be a bit challenging and/require a general bit of extra detail, so I was overeager to add a bit extra upfront. Why not, you know? (loop back to reason a)
So I paid. And a few weeks go by. So I'm like, "Okay, they probably have a few more in the queue in front of me" and at this time I'm seeing commissions for others being completed and publicly posted in the weeks between me paying and when the commissions were posted, so clearly they're working away even though they haven't confirmed with me directly, right? And I was very detailed in my initial request, so perhaps they'll reach out once they have a rough sketch for me!
I finally got a message 4 weeks later. They said they'll have a rough sketch for "sometime in the next week." I say, "no worries, take your time!" because shit happens, life comes up, you know?
6 weeks go by.
I send a message.
Ten days go by.
I get a message with rough line art. It looks great! I'm thinking "Wonderful, they finally got to work! New profile pic for me soon!"
Two months go by -- no update. I send a message -- "Hello, just checking in. I hope things are going well for you!" No response.
One month later (It's now December 2023) -- I send another message (similar to previous one). No response.
One month later (January 2024) -- I wrote "Hello, just checking in again! Its been five months since your last message, so any update (even just to say things will be very delayed) would be greatly appreciated! Thank you"
No response.
And I mean, they don't seem to be too active on this particular social media site, so I consider the possibility that maybe they're just not checking? Maybe! Not the most professional thing in my opinion, but I also recognize that not everyone works a busy office job where you are expected to respond within 48 hours on business days, you know?
So, I give it a week, then I try the social media site they appear to be more active on -- they consistently repost stuff and have been pretty active in posting sketches of personal art. No response.
I also try the site I paid for my commission on. No response.
The week after that, I send another message on the original social media site, admittedly much harsher --"Hey, I'm a little disappointed in the lack of communication. I understand that things come up and I'm more than happy to work with you, but I would appreciate some kind of regular update (even if just to say things are delayed). I'd also understand if you no longer want to do the commission or anything like that, but I'd prefer not to be left in the dark. Thank you"
At this point, I am puzzled. I understand MAYBE not getting notifications, but as a commission artist, isn't it more professional to at least update your client once a month or so? Like I said, maybe my last message was a bit harsh, but it's been around five months at this point.
Another month goes by (February 2024) -- i send one last final message, because I FINALLY caught them at a time they were actively posting and reposting things! Surely they'll see it!
Sure enough, I get a response by that same day, six hours later, with a colored update of my commission! They let me know that family stuff came up, they had a hospital trip, etc. and they're not sure when they'll actually finish it, so they offer a refund.
Again, I'm probably being cold, but I was frustrated, so I say:
"Hello, I very much understand that things come up, but it has been six months since your last response. I’ve sent four messages via Tumblr and one via Ko-fi in addition to these two twitter messages. I would’ve very much appreciated a quick message at some point just to say things are delayed/things came up. My apologies for being harsh, but I do not think the lack of communication is acceptable.
"And yes, I think a refund would be beneficial. Thank you."
And to my surprise, they agreed that it was unprofessional, stated that they'll make a bigger effort in the future, and we got my refund sorted.
AND THIS IS WHERE I KNOW I'M AN IDIOT! (a.k.a. part 2 of commission frustration).
Fast forward to end of September 2024.
They open commissions again -- I won't specify the situation for privacy's sake, but they stated they were going through a tough situation and needed money ASAP.
And I internally debate this for a week or so. I recognize I'm in a very lucky situation -- live solo in my own apartment, bills all paid, fulltime job with solid enough benefits, two adorable fluffy cats. I got a bit of extra money, why not? (I always budget a portion as "fun money") Surely, based on their last message to me, they probably learned at least a bit more professionalism, right? At least, just enough to update me once a month or so, right? (Spoiler alert: I was incorrect)
They respond a week later and accept my request. Great! I pay upfront and I think all is well!
About three days later, they send me the lineart sketch! Wonderful! It looks decent so far (good placement, features I wanted, etc). Great!
About a week later, they let me know that they're still working on it, but things are busy in their personal life. cool. I thank them for the update.
In the meantime, they're still posting personal art -- mostly their fav characters, things like that. I do art for fun, so I understand working on multiple things at once (sometimes ya need to take a break on a specific pose or gesture if for whatever reason, no matter what you do, it doesn't look right, ya know? Or, more personally, I'm currently working on a big piece with a lot of details, but I love warming up with some gesture practice in general.)
Just under 4 weeks later, another message, letting me know, they're still working on it, but personal life is busy. They'll get flat colors to be soon. I thank them for the update again.
That was 2 months ago. I sent a message the other day, as they had been reblogging things pretty consistently for the past week or so (so I know they had been online, on that particular social media site).
Then this morning I just gave up and blocked them. I can't do it anymore. It's not even about what I paid at this point! It's just not healthy to be checking every single day, sending message after message, to no avail. I recognize I didn't even wait that long before blocking them, but I am just so fed up at this point! And if history is any indicator, I'm clearly going to have to wait another 6 months for any sort of response and I just can't do it.
I have fair reason to believe it's not a scam in the traditional sense, but I just cannot take being strung along like this anymore. I know for damn sure it's not anybody else's responsibilities to manage my triggers for me, but I cannot tolerate any sort of silent treatment/things that really feel like silent treatment, you know? And this really feels like silent treatment. (long story -- childhood trauma-based, not the worst thing in the grand scheme of things, but not great.) I swear I tried really hard to be patient, but I'm at the point I don't care anymore. And I know I didn't provide any hard deadline (I like to think I'm flexible in most cases), but I don't think at least a quick message every month or so is an unreasonable expectation, is it? Especially since I usually message them?
And I didn't mention it was my birthday on the first attempt because I didn't want them to feel pressured, so I 100% did not expect it to be done by said birthday at all (Like I said, it was only a couple weeks before my birthday, and I didn't 100% know my place in the queue, so that's just unreasonable) but 8-ish months after the fact, with ZERO response for 6 of those months, just seems too long to me.
And now, it's been 3-ish months with zero updates for 2 months.
I dunno. I just keep flopping back and forth between "You clearly need to learn to be more patient!" and "This is completely aggravating. You are clearly not getting this commission. Stop trying." and either way, I feel like I'm somehow acting unreasonably in this situation. Maybe blocking them was too much, but honestly, I'm so sick of seeing their art and it doesn't feel like I was ever getting that commission anyway.
At the minimum, it's just feels like a severe lack of respect for me as a client, regardless of my own personal idiosyncrasies. I don't know. I'm just frustrated. Mentally, it just feels like spinning wheels in my head -- lot of effort, with zero to no results or conclusion. Commissioning artists is supposed to be fun. This isn't fun anymore. But I don't know if I am being totally and utterly unreasonable or not.
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