#the really depressing fanart is from a day I was really struggling

[crowdeerdire]

I have so many random Our Life sketches... Don't know if I'll ever finish any of them, but like... idk? I just wanted to dump them some place! To remind myself I am drawing! Even tho I havn't posted anything proper :) Kel & Cove would 100% get each other those dumb I <3 my Autistic Husband/ADHD Wife when they both eventually get diagnosed. They haved that kind of humor

[kitsune024]

More Harry Potter Recs

Dramione Fic Recs

Dragon's Heartstrings by pinkinku I Chapters: 33/33 I Completed Inspired by Manacled, Wartime, Forced Marriage, High Reeve Draco, Nobody Wins the Battle of Hogwarts and The War Goes On, Dark Fic, Minor Pancy/Harry

High Reeve Draco Malfoy is not only Voldemort’s most trusted Death Eater but an undercover agent for the Order, plotting Voldemort’s downfall from the inside out as well. After a fair trade with the Order, the High Reeve asks for the highest sacrifice – to make the brightest witch of her age Hermione Granger his wife.

A Year and A Day by AMLKoko I Chapters 86/86 I Completed CEO Draco Malfoy, Arranged Marriage, Marriage Contracts, Slow Burn

Hermione had hit rock bottom when Narcissa Malfoy offered her something she couldn't refuse. She was without a job, without prospects, and nearly homeless, so she had to say yes. But Hermione regretted ever opening that door to Narcissa Malfoy because falling in love hurt, especially when she knew her marriage to Draco Malfoy wasn't built to last forever.

This Time Around by Burntbeachglass I Chapters 3/? I Death Eater Draco, Spy Draco, Time Travel Fix-It, Draco is terrifying, Bamf Hermione

Draco Malfoy switches sides halfway through the Second Wizarding War, but by the time he does, its too late. When the war ends in a final, bloody battle that leaves Draco the last man standing he uses the remnants of the spell they had sacrificed everything to keep Voldemort from casting to send himself back in time. When he wakes up two years in the past he only has one goal. Hermione Granger died to end the war the first time around. This time—he’ll do anything it takes to make sure that never happens.

Reborn by AnnaJohnson72 I Chapters 11/? I Gryffindor Draco, Disowned Draco, Depressed Draco, BAMF Draco, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Ron Weasley Bashing, AU - Canon Divergence

Despite popular belief, Draco isn’t a coward. He is sly and ambitious, he's the perfect Slytherin. At least he's supposed to be. But he’s also smart, and he can be loyal. And believe it or not brave too. When Draco's 5th year goes off the rails, he's forced to show the world who he really is. Includes disownment, re-sorting, successful BAMF Draco.

Metanoia by isobelx I Chapters 77/77 I Completed Draco Malfoy Redemption, Slow Burn, AU - Canon Divergence, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Horcrux Hunting

When it becomes clear the path his father has chosen for their family will lead to nothing but pain and suffering, Draco Malfoy is forced to question everything he's ever been taught. In his quest for survival, and with the help of an unlikely ally, he'll embark on a journey of transformation and self-discovery, that will ultimately change the very foundations of his identity. or What if Draco Malfoy decided he did not want to be a servant to the Dark Lord long before he was forced to join his ranks?

Antinomian by thestarsoforion I Chapters 37/? I AU- Canon Divergence, Secret Relationship-Well Not That Secret, Harry And Ron Are Oblivious, Unhealthy Relationships, Obsessive Draco, Obsessive Hermione, Morally Grey Draco, Morally Grey Hermione, BAMF Hermione, BAMF Draco, Death Eater Draco, Ron Weasley Bashing, Remus Lupin Bashing

He's always watched her. He can't help it. Merlin help him, he's been fucking trying though. She hates him. He's a vile, bigoted arsehole. Of all the people who have made her feel small, who have made her have to fight and scrape and claw for her place in this world ever since she was eleven, he's the worst of them all. But when things take a turn at the Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy decides he's done fighting himself, and Hermione Granger is left floored, struggling to understand this new, strange version of him.

Dramione with Fanart

Secrets and Masks by Emerald_Slytherin I Chapters: 75/75 | Completed READ THE TAGS High Death Eater Draco, Smut, Inspired by Manacled, Violence, War The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy by speechwriter | Chapters: 33/33 | Completed Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Redemption, Horcrux Hunting, Draco with the Golden Trio Timeless by alexandra_emerson I Chapters 50/50 I Completed Time travel, Time Loop, Drama and Romance, Married Couple, Redeemed Draco, Tearjerker, mystery Love In A Time Of The Zombie Apocalypse by rizzlewrites. I Chapters 84/84 I Completed High Reeve Draco, Post-Apocalyptic, Zombies, Slow Burn, scientist Draco, Horror, BAMF Draco, BAMF Hermione, BAMF Harry Things Without Remedy by onebedtorulethemall I Chapters 32/32 I Completed Time Travel, Auror Draco Malfoy, Time Turners, Draco Redemption Manacled by senlinyu I Chapters 77/77 I Completed READ TAGS High Reeve Draco, Post-War, AU Voldemort Wins, Harry Potter Dies, dark fic Remain Nameless by HeyJude19 I Chapters 51/51 I Completed Slow Burn, Past Drug Addiction, Healing, Fluff and Angst, Romance, blueberry scones Regression by WritexAboutxMe I Chapters 32/32 I Completed Murder Mystery, Auror Draco, Slow Burn, Tattooed Draco Malfoy, Draco loves muggle pens, Past Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Let The Dark In by senlinyu I Chapters: 33/? I No Voldemort au, Durmstrang Student Draco, Dark Magic, Slow Burn, Triwizard Champion Hermione Granger, No Voldemort Does Not Mean No Bigotry, Morally Grey Hermione The Choices We Make by Stacygenesis I Chapters 49/49 I Completed Hogwarts Sixth Year, AU - Canon Divergence, Memory Loss, War, Slow Burn, Light Ron Bashing, Protectiveness, Pining, Eventual Smut

Bookmark Series

This World or Any Other by @olivieblake I Part 1-3 I Completed hermione is the one to find draco in the bathroom, Canon Divergence

[brooklynisher]

Here's a bunch of old sketchbook doodles I made y'all

Stick around bc this includes my first SPG drawings!! (Before I joined Tumblr)

Riveting start

I'll start off with little drawings I made of myself. And my god do you see what I'm doing with the anatomy? Do you see how tiny those joints are? That's horrific. Why did I build everyone like that? But Yugo is where I began to find my art style. Will love them forever for that. I've got to go back to simple-shaped heads one of these days and blush/eyelashes on everything

We've got some lovely Smile For Me-related doodles. First is a Flower Kid design. Second was not smile for me specifically, but Face Love (by the same devs). And the last two were my earlier attempts at making comics and scenes. Ft. lancer for some reason.

Here are a couple of abandoned OCs. Pretty boy (Basil) is supposed to be yellow. We've all had that OC whose only trait was being a hot person and that's what he was all about. Didn't develop him much in terms of character which is sad because I kinda like his design. He was created when I was doodling random designs in FireAlpaca. I'll have to show the other doodles in a different post (If you are interested).

THIS GUY I WOULD LIKE TO BRING BACK! Might be kinda basic in terms of like "Weird Core" designs but I still love him. His plot keeps changing though because his design is so strange yet so simple to the point where I could put him in just about any world I wanted to had I gotten bored of the old one. Which is silly bc he's just a depressed news anchor man.

Anyway bc of that, Basil used to be his bf, but isn't anymore. He got replaced with fat peppermint man who fun fact: was inspired by the song Brass Goggles BEFORE I even got into SPG and learned what it was about! How silly is that! Peppermint boy is technically my first SPG OC!

She was a fun one, but I abandoned her too. I think she was too influenced by Frye's character from Splatoon. She was a warrior of sorts. Sort of tribal I suppose. She spoke fast, and in her tribe's language, so many people struggled to understand her. She was very bouncy too. Jumping all over the place. If you know Frye, you'll probably notice that they're a bit too similar to each other. That's usually why I abandon my OCs. When they're too similar to another.

Critter I doodled. Not really an OC, but I still think she's cute

Don't ask me about the first guy. The girl was a mii that was born in Tomodachi Life! Her name is Lily. She is the child of Kris (Deltarune) and Hatsune Miku. She looks silly which is why I love her.

I'm Picasso. Kinda vibe with this ngl. Not sure if I could ever turn this into anything though

Here are some low-effort doodles. Enjoyed the design of the big lady more than I thought. I was practicing drawing bigger bodies at the time. Joints are still KILLING ME but it's not bad considering I had the worst anatomy method imaginable

Here are some higher-effort doodles. Aside from the abhorrent anatomy (WHY DOES THE PIG ZOMBIE HAVE TWO DIFFERENTLY SIZED SHOULDERSS????) I quite like these critters. That mermaid girl had lore too. She could control the dead of the sea. She was lowkey evil. Never turned her into anything though. Also, you can see by that guy at the bottom of the first one, that Bunny's art was starting to take an influence on me.

Lots of stuff going on over here but LOOK! MY VERY FIRST SPG FANART! IT'S OF VI POINTING AT AN APPLE AND YELLING AT IT

I was inspired by Bunny to make these monster-ish-looking people

More thingies! There's the goopy robot which I initially drew as a first attempt at drawing a robot, but then I made it black and goopy bc that's what it was giving. The star guy appears and disappears a few times. I think I wanted to keep them, but the design was very similar to LightLazer so I felt a bit weird about drawing them.

More robot shenanigans. First time drawing Rabbit and The Spine! Cannot believe that my first Spine drawing was in a dress oh my god.

More Bunny-inspired drawings and I'm REALLY kinda digging that weird tiny robot critter. Looking at it now, it's kinda like Spring in a few ways, but it's also completely different from Spring in so many other ways. The limbs are retractable. I kinda like this thing actually. I Oughtta do something with it.

These ones are more SPG-specific. You'll have to forgive me, most of these are from memory. Don't ask me why Rabbit looks like David Bowie in the first one.

And finally, some Rabbit and Spine doodles! Rabbit's doing the "Hey Andy Sweetie" meme. I could totally reattempt drawing that today actually.

Anyway, hope you had fun. I did. Ugh this is so sillyy

[loopeyfluff]

hihi I come from twt and I wanted to let you know that your art and comics mean so much to me, specially the "and you just have to see it" one. i reread it every time I find it around and idk, it means so much to me since i found it just at the right time in my life and it really gave words to my understanding of not just WHY I love one piece, bur why I love Art

I had no clue you had tumblr but it's such a nice surprise!! never stop making art, please, it impacts peoples lives in wonderful ways that even if you don't know, it'll still be important and beautiful and it'll be worth it

at least it impacted my life a lot, even what could be seen as just a few comics

you're definitely one of my favorite artists, period? your skill is impressive both on a technical level and also storytelling wise, idk!! I just really enjoy it and I think more artists as cool as you should know that their work is appreciated!!!!!! if you think about it it's your fault for making the majority of my favorite pieces of op fanart on the fandom!!!!! so yeah

thank you so much for everything, really

sorry for the rambling tho

Oh my godddddddd oriyrgehehehehehhdhd this is SOOO LOVELY??? THIS WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL THING TO READ THIS MORNING MY HEART FEELS SO FULL OF WARMTH!!!! AGHHEUWUAGSGGSHS THANK YOUUUUUU SO MUCHHH!!!

First of all, thank you for finding my tumblr and sending me such a nice ask! This absolutely made my day, I always struggle understanding and conceptualising how memorable my art's presence is on the internet, but it always means the world to me to hear when my art has deeply affected them!!! To hear that you think about my art like, even weeks or months after you've seen them, it makes me really happy :)

Second of all, I'm so glad I was able to reach you with that comic in particular- I really think it's probably my magnum opus XD I was feeling really damn bummed out the month before I read one piece cause I was in exam period, tho I was feeling really depressed even after i got outta exam period. One piece got me out of that tho, and then I made that comic in my end of exam period the next year to remind me that things were different now!!! I literally poured my entire soul into that comic, that comic is legit just, me. So to find that so many other people resonated so hard with that,,,, gahh im just so glad it found you in a time of need as well :)

Third, YESS I LOVE MAKING ART SO MUCH!!! I hope you keep staying to look at whatever i create, because i have so many things i want to cook up!!- in fact im cooking up a pretty big meal rn ouo ehehhehehe. tho its not like. original. but im still putting my all into it 💪

Fourth, I'm seriously so flattered that I'm one of your favourite artists! Genuinely thank you so much for taking the time to let me know, I hope you have a wonderful week :)

[onepawproductions]

please dont put ai art in main fandom tags thank you.

Hi, I'm not sure which post or fandom you're referencing? Also not sure what you mean. I don't put random art generated by an Ai on here. I use Ai tools as part of my process to help bring what's in my head to the screen. I have a disability that severely limits the use of my hands, and Ai tools have given me back my ability to create art again. It's been such a blessing to my life, honestly. It was so depressing to spend my entire childhood learning to draw and paint and sculpt, then go to school for it, only to have EDS/MCAS/Epilepsy/detached retinas (amoung other stuff. It sucks, I know) smack me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper in my mid-twenties.

I know there's a lot of misconception about Ai Art right now. What is is, what it isn't. Like those one-shot gens pushed out by people using highly modified ai generators, putting out massive amounts of art that looks super pro but without soul. That's not what I'm doing, but I can totally understand the mixup! What I do doesn't come from a website where a descriptive sentence will give you jaw- dropping art. It's more similar to digital artists using Adobe Photoshop, and is a very involved process requiring days and sometimes weeks of work, several hours a day.

I tried for awhile tho include more about the process, so people can see how hard it is, but this doesn't seem to be the right forum for that. I think Tumblr is maybe more of a "show me the finished stuff" thing? I could be wrong, tho, for sure.

Or, am I miss-tagging? I know a lot of my art is not just fanart, but fanfic fanart. Is that it? I do wanna get my tags right... Hmm

Let me know! Since you posted anonymously, I'm not sure if you'll get a notification of my reply. Go ahead and PM me, if you like. I think I have the PMs open. :)

Meanwhile I'll tag this to the fandoms I'm tryna make inroads with. Maybe someone there will know!

Oh, right. Here are some examples:

A Harry Potter chapter heading for the fanfiction audiobook Im recording, shown here mid-process. I can see it in my danged ole head, but its over a week in and still struggling. I had to even uninstall/reinstall my entire system when it went belly up due to a bad extension, yargh. The scene is chapter 17 of The Muddy Princess, by Colubrina.

These are a culmination of about a month of work trying to hone in on Taylor Heberts face. I picture her as an amalgamation of about three different awesome women I've known in my life...plus Claudia Black! I think they're pretty good, but not 100%. I'm still trying to find the right place to post my art and discuss with people, but tumblr seems to be not the place for that sort of thing.

But anyway. Yeah. Where should I sort these so the people who wanna see em can see? Am I getting it right?

[theastroghost]

small update //

I’m going to be taking a small break from fanart at the moment, only working on commissions and my portfolio— I’m struggling tirelessly with my depression lately and it’s been really hard on me. I’ll get back to making art for myself in a bit but for now I just need to work through this and do what I can with my commissions.

Those messaging me, I promise I’m not trying to ignore you, I’m just struggling to find my words/gen

It’ll just be a few days :) I care you /p

[hismercytomyjustice]

He. Hehe. HehEHE. HEHEHEHE.

I managed to convince my friend to watch Hazbin by subtly she said I was not at all subtle but shhh let me pretend exploiting my 17 years of knowledge of her particular brand of favorite character.

I am so excited because this fucking show has consumed the last week of my life. All because Spotify was like “hey, you love soundtracks, you should listen to this soundtrack.” And by god they were so right. They’re the one algorithm that really gets me. T_T

But I am so fucking excited to talk her ear off about the show. I am trying very hard to not be obnoxious about it but I know I am being VERY obnoxious about it. orz

Also there is so much amazing fanfic and fanart out there for it. I am a major radioapple fan and god what an endless bounty there is.

Alastor is my particular brand of favorite character, so she and I are suffering together. T_T

And now I have a renewed interest to finish this BG3 fic *gently covers my au poto wip’s ears* so I can write Hazbin fic.

I have already been brainstorming a stupid entirely self-indulgent crack fic. I have so many notes. orz

I haven’t lost interest in my BG3 fic. I just hit a major burnout wall in general due to work, so I haven’t spent as much time on it the past week or so which can be dangerous with ADHD and my ability to finish things. The struggle has been so real.

It’s kinda funny. I’ve spent the past few weeks wondering if I was dipping into depression again or something because I have just constantly felt exhausted and have been struggling for even a shred of executive function in literally every single area of my life. My sleep schedule has gone to hell, everyday tasks like tidying the house, feeding myself, showering, etc feel Sisyphean. My OCD has been particularly bad (stress tends to make it flare up). And yet it wasn’t until like last week when my husband said “do you think you might be burnt out from all the work stuff you’ve been dealing with since February” that it even clicked for me.

Like, huh, this all came crashing down on me almost immediately after I massively overworked myself to prove my worth because my prior manager was fucking awful at her job and made my life hell.

cOiNcIdEnCe?!

I have another extra therapy session scheduled for next week because of the burnout at my therapist’s suggestion.

It’s definitely a good thing. The better I get at recognizing the warning signs of impending mental health dips and burnout, the better I can become at mitigating them. I also could use the extra support in crawling my way out of the burnout hole.

It’s still fucking wild to me how completely unaware I was about how OCD is omnipresent in my life even when I’m not in the midst of a full blown catastrophic OCD crisis. I guess this is the point of seeing a specialist for it, lol. It’s just fucking wild the daily spirals I’ve been getting into that didn’t even register.

Stuff like “I need to take a shower. But I can’t take a shower because I need to do xyz. But I can’t do xyz because of abc. Why can’t I just make myself shower? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this? It’s never going to get any better. I’m a fucking failure. Why can’t I just do this one fucking thing?!”

I mean, ADHD/executive function definitely also play a role but the OCD is just constantly creeping under the surface.

I didn’t realize until recently that it impacted my writing too. I was constantly working myself into OCD spirals over not being good enough, not working hard enough, not having anything worthwhile to contribute, being a bad writer, being inconsistent, etc.

Just spiraling myself into self-loathing and avoidance and all that fun stuff instead of doing something I so greatly enjoy.

And I do this in literally every area of my life. Constantly. Finding out I have ADHD was also extremely helpful in understanding why I struggle with a lot of day-to-day stuff but the OCD is the sneaky bastard pulling all the strings in the background and making everything 10x harder than it needs to be.

I have lost so many years of happiness to undiagnosed OCD and ADHD. I can’t help but wonder how different my life might be if I’d known sooner and started learning how to navigate it all years ago. But at the same time, hitting a wall for both is what got me diagnosed in the first place so… *shrugs*

I guess at least we finally got there even if we wound up taking the scenic route.

[parallelroutes-old]

what made you choose this muse? // is there any other muse in this fandom ( or any other ) you’d like to RP? // what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…) // what’s a song that reminds you of your muse?

what made you choose this muse?

i like playing chaotic and spontaneous gremlins who are silly, weird, cool-looking, punk/goth, and seem empty/depressed deep down. hits a lot of nice 'oh that's my type of rp character' energies. and you will also get a mini story here too.

tbh when i looked around the internet for random series fanart in 2010, i ran into pics of him and genuinely used to think he was ... kinda ugly ngl. i have never liked the old design. personal pref. but i went hunting for random new fanart last year/2022, where i found his new design and was like "wtf that's the same guy? this is the best glow-up of the entire decade?"

that preference ties into why i only rp him as post-future arc? he is just... not attractive to me whatsoever before showing up with a new design LOL...

is there any other muse in this fandom ( or any other ) you’d like to RP?

Enma-kun, my beloved ♪

what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…)

80% my absolute favorite is other characters changing their opinions of him, esp if they're reluctant in some way. hurt/comfort, usually as comfort. fluff. deep convos. Wise Advice. atonement!!!

i struggle with making my own full AUs and making OCs takes so much effort for so little payoff rp-wise, so i just. i will let others make the AUs/OCs and i just join them in the party. gladly. bc i love both of them.

what’s a song that reminds you of your muse?

current: i actually don't have one for sure yet? i'm still feeling out the verse so idk. right now i'm gonna guess green day - boulevard of broken dreams. mostly for that "i walk alone with my shadow bc that's all i know." aspect. see also:

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me, and I walk alone

I'm walkin' down the line That divides me somewhere in my mind On the borderline Of the edge and where I walk alone

previously i had it as GLIM SPANKY - In the air because it was intended to be the 'parallel worlds traveling' thing, which i have not really been using. i will also skip luz's cover of Ikkitousen because that gives future arc byakuran vibes and you have just now been told how i feel about that, lol.

4YL: cristina vee's english cover of bad apple. ( thank u neo-chan. )

Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light? Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay, or should I go? I've forgotten how to tell. Did I ever even know? Can I take another step? I've done everything I can All the people that I see I will never understand If I find a way to change, if I step into the light Then I'll never be the same, and it all will fade to white

this is just kind of the verse's whole vibe? the whole... living with people who only know 'you' of yesterday and don't want to see anything else - and a lot of them can't. but you don't want to be that person anymore.

that's why he's so sad and different. the entire point is to get him to 'move on' from the past and what he did. i should really go explain things and why you will primarily get the deep convos out of this verse, not current. eventually. i don't have much energy lately lmao.

[watercolor-hearts]

I'm not a big person in this fandom but I wanted to make a post about the F1 related part of my 2022 too.

I joined the Formula 1 fandom around the second half of July (thanks to TikTok) and since then I've read a lot of amazing stories, saw a lot of beautiful fanarts, videos, edits etc., and I want to mention two things that are really important to me.

When I joined the fandom I translated three amazing stories, which were

Boiling Point by tilesonthefloor

I can't breathe by mad_maz and

One Story Left To Tell by WebCookie9

(I put the original links into the titles because I think not many people would be interested in the Hungarian translations, but if you are, you can find them on my Ao3 profile.)

Special thanks to all the authors for letting me translate their stories. It means a lot to me. ❤

These were the first stories I really liked when I started to read in this fandom and I loved translating them. Sadly, there's no fandom in Hungary (or in Hungarian language) for mxm F1 stuff, so after my third translation I decided not to do more because it wasn't worth it. I was so sad because I felt like I've found something that makes me really happy but nobody's interested in it. After this I decided to stop writing in Hungarian (I had already struggled with my original story and didn't really want to write it) and decided to give writing a go in English. (I wanted to try it for a long time but I didn't have the courage to it.)

Well, it wasn't an easy thing, because I think I chose to write a story that was a bit too much, too difficult and to depressing for a first story, so that one is unfinished yet but I'm working on it because I still like the idea. After failing with the first one, I started thinking about other ideas and since then I have like five or six to write.

After a moment I saw in school, I wrote Happy to see you, which is an unplanned, short and sweet double drabble. I really like it because this is my first ever English story and it felt so good to post it and see what happens. (Also, I was so scared, like I always am when it comes to posting my stories.) And seeing that I can write in English gave me enough confidence to try and continue writing my other ideas.

One month later I finally could finish Racing Heart and Collapsing Lungs and it was a big moment for me because this is the first 'longer' story of mine. (Well, longer than the first one.) Writing this wasn't easy and my relationship with it changes every other day, but yeah, still an important moment/thing in my life.

I don't have any other stories yet but I hope I will be able to write more in 2023. Thank you for all the kudos and comments, they mean a lot to me. ❤

I don't want to make this a long ass post so I'm trying to mention only the most important things.

I wasn't in a good shape mentally when I joined the fandom but Daniel (and the other boys too) helped me a lot and I haven't self-harmed since I've got know him and it's a really big thing for me. I'm glad I've found something that makes me so happy because life's not easy and there are a lot of not so happy things in mine, so it means a lot to have a fandom where I can find happiness, where I can watch videos of these men with their fast cars going around on the tracks, joking, laughing, and loving each other and their fans. These things help me to escape from reality when I really need it.

I might not know everything about Formula 1 but I'm happy to be part of the fandom and I hope I'll be there for a long time. ❤

Happy New Year! 🎆❤

[fandom-research]

First research results!

I have managed to turn analysing the survey to be part of a uni project I have due next month so I finally found time to analyse the basics! I will link to a less colourful and "boring" table view of all of these results in a later post, as I still need to write the code for that part and it's late. For now there is image description on there!

This analysis is based on n=100 people.

Question 1: Where do you mainly read fanfiction?

Unsurprisingly most of us spend a lot of time on AO3, but I think we should pay respect to the three lonely souls who use ff.net, wattpad or tumblr respectively. But how much time are we spending reading on average? Well...

Question 2: How much time do you spent reading fanfiction in a week?

I don't know if I should be concerned that nearly 1/4 of us is spending over 15 hours per week, meaning at least 2 hours a day, reading, but then again I strongly belong into the orange category as well.

Question 3: What fandom(s) do you regularily consume fanfiction from?

I have cut to the top ten of fandoms mentioned, because the list of mentioned fandoms is too long to nicely display in any form. It isn't all that legible already.

Quick switch to bar chart, because the pie chart got too crowded and because this is a multiple choice question so the percentages wouldn't match up. Our top 3 consist of Merlin at 19%, Marvel at 37% and Harry Potter at 71%. This is the point where I really questioned the data for the first time. I don't know if these percentages are representable for fandom as a whole or if this is a case of a "selffulfilling prophecy". Meaning the channels over which I distributed the questionnaire reached only a specific group of people, namely the Harry Potter and Merlin folks, as I have the most contact to those fandoms, accidentally biasing the data.

Question 4: What ship-category do you read most often?

Funfact: for the first ... 50? 65? entries, F/M wasn't represented at all. We love our gays I guess. Different funfact: there IS the option to choose F/F in the questionnaire. It just wasn't used. Even now there is one (1) lonely soul who picked that option out of 126. (The form is still open so on there I can see more answers than I used in the analysis)

Question 5: What type of fan-content do you create?

This one was a surprise. I didn't think that there were this many people actively creating content, but then again, this might due to the people reached by this questionnaire, so possible bias again. (Top 3: Fanfiction 77%, Fanart 35%, Podfic 9%)

That's it for the fan-related part of the research, let's go on with the neurodiversity and demographic part. Especially for these coming results keep the possibility of a bias in the data in mind.

Question 6: What form of neurodiversity/mental health struggle does apply to you?

This one was the reason this research even exists, and while I haven't yet looked up what percentages of the general society have any of the neurodiversities, I believe that this is rather high, proving my subjective observation: A LOT of the people reading fanfic are neurodiverse in some way. Over half of the participants answered that they have some form of anxiety and/or depression, with some people even leaving me comments how fanfiction is their safe-space, helped them grow and accept themself. This one I will be focussing more on in the future analysis.

Question 7: What is your gender identity?

This as well surprised me to a degree. Even without comparing I know that this is FAR off of the official gender demographics of the general society. Especially the amount of enbies is surprising but nonetheless welcome.

Question 8: Do you consider yourself as part of the LGBTQIA+ community?

(No picture due to the 10 pic limit on posts) Results:

Yes: 90%

No: 6%

Prefer not to say: 4%

Now, again. A LOT of us are queer as fuck. This is most definitely not the norm in general society and even with a potential bias is significant enough to say that the majority of fanfic-readers are part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Question 9: If you consider yourself as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, what "part" of the community?

The answers here refer to the orientation differing from hetero or the gender identity differing from cis. Keep in mind that this question was voluntary and therefore not everyone did answer this. Actual percentage might be higher. (I don't know the number of people that answered that question right now but will go into more detail at a later date)

Question 10: How old are you?

Again a voluntary question. But on average the community seems to be in their mid or late twenties, although there are also a bunch of adults over 30 enjoying fanfiction. This graph especially reminded me to not assume anything about people within the community. The other person could be someone in still in school, dealing with their first crush or big exams. It could just as well be someone working full time or someone with kids, someone with grandkids even. Fanfic is and always should be open for people of all ages.

Question 11: Where do you live?

Sadly I haven't been able to reach people in africa or antarctica but oh well. The form is still online, should anyone from there want to add their input into this statistic! ;)

Overall results:

People reading fanfic are a lot more queer, neurodiverse and in general divers than one might expect. I for one was surprised to see how willing people where to answer a stupid online survey that wasn't supposed to lead anywhere.

Thank you to everyone who answered and especially to those that left me nice comments in the form <3

[yenyenlive]

Yesterday I found myself thinking about the videogame SOMA by the developers of Amnesia. I got stuck for a while just pondering about it because it's the sort of game that does in fact makes you think a lot even after playing it. It had been so long since I had thought about it but it took most of my esrly day yesterday.

Through science fiction, that piece of media puts into perspective some heavy questions that are harder to convey from a third person perspective like in a movie or a show. Questions regarding what it means to be human, what it means to be alive and what makes us be us, which really get to you since you live them through the main character's eyes.

God that game is so great. I love all the little interaction Simon, the main character, has with other characters like random robots or Catherine. He just has this way of talking that makes him feel so real.

And the whole story ends up being so sad, depressing and it overall feels like a struggle between hope and hopeless. And I am not lying when I say that yesterday I almost ugly cried at college while rewatching the ending, I was not well. Have you seen that meme of Pedro Pascal crying? That was how I felt when I started looking through the SOMA fanart on this website, being cute, funny and also sad, especially knowing that isnt the reality that those characters live.

[gravityups]

Gravity Falls and how it kind of saved me

Even thought it’s a little late, I felt like I should make a post about what Gravity Falls means to me. And how it kind of saved my life.

Last fall, I was in college. Halfway through the semester I got sick and had to drop out. It was kind of the final straw; I was struggling for two years, had low grades in half my classes, and had been so depressed and anxious I was having hallucinations. So, to put it lightly, I felt like nothing mattered anymore.

Now don’t get be wrong, this wasn’t a BOOM OMY GOSH GRAVITY FALLS SAVED MY LIFE kind of deal.

Not really. I put it on when I was bored on day and it just... comforted me.

Mable and Dipper felt like the loving banter I had with my sister. The humor between them was exactly like ours; the cheesy jokes, combining words, playing stupid made up games, arguing for hours and then going outside to find a fairy. God I could talk about them for hours. Grunkle Stan reminded me of my dad (do not take this out of context, I will explain). The tough guy persona, soft on the inside, lovable goofball. I remember being especially impacted by him wanting to ‘toughen dipper up.’ It was exactly what my dad had said to me a million times as a kid. He’s still proud of me like the way Stan is proud of Dipper.

And that’s only one part about the show that I love. The weird creatures, each character’s quirks and unique signature, the captivating mystery, and the childlike but exciting stories. It touched me in a way I haven’t felt since I was in middle school. I felt like I was waking up again. I wanted more. And that’s when I got into fanfiction.

At first it was only to kind of ‘sedate’ the thirst after the shows ending (I cried for a good long while on the final episode). But then after a few fantastic stories, some fanart, and a good amount of daydreaming I realized: holy crap I could do this too.

During my entire childhood I had wanted to be a writer. I had notebooks filled with ideas and years worth of stories on my laptop. Freshman year of high school the hard drive broke and I lost it all. I lost years worth of content that I would never see again. Before I knew it that accident and my depression had killed my love for writing. I hadn’t wrote a single story idea down in five years.

That night, I wrote six thousand words in one sitting. It was like I found a cure, finished a race, won a medal.

I found it easier to write stuff about characters I already understood instead of struggling to make my own. The words flowed like water under my hand. I felt like I could write anything I wanted whenever I wanted. I wasn’t terrified about running out of energy or interest and never coming to it again. I could just DO

Gravity Falls brought my passion back from the dead. It kickstarted what I’ve done ever since I could talk, and I’ve discovered that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know it’s sappy but, it made me want to live again

So thank you, Gravity Falls, for a fantastic story that has touched so many people. But also...

Thank you you, community, for being the lifeblood of Gravity Falls. The show wouldn’t be what it is without you.

[halcyon-hyacinth]

What are your favorite Lumity headcanons? Show predictions?

Hey anon! I feel terrible for leaving this ask in my box for so long but this was a tough ask for me to think of a proper response to.

Luz and Amity are my favorite toh characters, and their relationship has truly healed my inner child (LGBT+ media growing up dealt in a lot of queer pain which was quite honestly depressing as hell).

For this ask, I'll be including my individual headcanons for them too. To make things easier for myself, I'll just do bullet points lol.

Luz:

Short haired forever. I cannot imagine her with long hair at all, sorry not sorry it always looks bad don't @ me.

Writes fanfic (because duh)

Teaches glyph magic/becomes a novelist when she graduates Hexside. I think her teaching Eda and Lilith alludes to #1 and her episode with King from s1 alludes to #2

Her palisman is a bat! We've seen several hints about it in the show, and at first I was a bit disappointed cause I wanted it to be a bird (which is a Clawthorne thing) but they're definitely reserving that connection for Hunter

Luz gets her creativity/love for fantasy from her dad, which Camila supports wholeheartedly

This isn't so much a head canon as it is a fact. She's an introvert and if you don't agree read this and this. 💅🏽

Prefers slip-ons to laces cause she's always moving/running to the next thing

Morning person. She's the first one out of bed and makes Eda and King breakfast while they sleep in. As Eda becomes more maternal, she starts waking up earlier to help out.

After her struggle to carry Amity to the nurse's office in WILW she resolved to work out and gain some muscle, though she couldn't quite figure out why...

Never much of a jock, until she started running for her life in the Boiling Isles nonstop all summer

Becomes Vee's sister, and Vee takes the bottom bunk of her room while Luz gets the top bunk. (I think one thing that could happen in the show is that Camila requires Luz to sleep at home in Earth but spend her days in the Isles while Vee lives at their home and goes to human school full-time til they both graduate high school).

Tells Gus how it's possible to dig to China as a joke, he takes it seriously and causes a tunnel collapse that Willow has to save him from.

Burns her eyebrows off using a fire glyph at some point, and Amity draws them for her until they grow back

Amity:

I love love love fanart of Amity with short hair when she's older!!! Similar to Luz, I don't think a female character growing older equates with them growing out their hair!!! Short hair is also lighter and I think Amity would like to have less weight on her shoulders.

Develops a really sweet friendship with Gus!!! They're both nerds, they would totally be study buds for exams and investigate human realm stuff together.

Works in the library when she graduates Hexside. It's pretty clear that it's a special place for her, and she loves literature. In another life, she would've been a bard.

I have an entirely removed head canon of her relationship with her palisman Ghost just because I'm super annoyed we got zero explanation for how she got them. So I wrote a fic here that elaborates on it. Long story short: they hate each other at first and it's fucking hilarious.

Since Edric needs glasses and doesn't wear them, I think she'll eventually need them when she gets older (peak librarian vibes).

NOT a morning person. Night owl 100%

Returns to playing grudgby at some point, though not without setting boundaries with her old friend group first (it's clear she loved the sport a lot as a kid, and I think it'd be a cool full circle moment to play it again)

She inspires Edric and Emira to stand up to their parents

She returns to Lake Lacuna with Willow for some friendship reconciliation/bonding. They have a sparring session in which Willow kicks her ass while Luz and Gus cheer them on.

Lumity:

They have Azura book clubs!!! Every week. At the Owl House and in Amity's secret room, depending on whatever's more convenient. (Exchanging theories, rereading the books, drawing fanart, watching the movies, etc.)

They co-author a fanfic at some point.

They're both awkward as hell around each other because they're nerds with no relationship experience. Over time they develop a more casual dynamic and both of them are able to fluster each other equally.

Both of them can dance, but Luz has self-esteem issues about messing up the steps from her time in the human realm so Amity leads until eventually Luz overcomes them.

First date: something dorky/nerdy. An Azura book club, going book shopping, doing research, etc. The more romantic stuff is reserved for anniversaries and birthdays.

Amity paints Luz's nails

Luz notices that Amity is touch-starved and gives her a lot of a physical affection (hand holds, hugs, cuddles, etc.)

Amity learns Spanish and is able to hold conversation with Luz and Camila after a couple of years of practice (she makes a pact to learn with Gus and together they pore over Spanish workbooks)

They're around the same height for most of their youth, but Luz ends up being a couple of inches taller than Amity, much to her chagrin.

When they're older, they get married and live in the Boiling Isles (taking periodic visits to the human realm to visit Camila).

They decide to have children cause both of them adore kids

Luz carries the kid, and Amity is super protective over them.

Amity is always the big spoon and Luz loves it.

Amity was the one who technically asked Luz out first, so I think Luz would be the one to propose.

Instead of wedding rings, they get necklaces (Amity wears a sun and Luz wears a moon)

Thanks for the ask!!!! <3 Love receiving them :)

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[thealexchen]

Your headcannons always feels so true to the characters! Do you have any for Lyla? ☺️ (I feel like she and Alex would get along really well- they have similar mental health struggles, even if Lyla couldn’t fully empathize with Alex’s neglect and her time in the foster care system, I’m sure she’d sympathize. And I’m not 100% sure because I haven’t played LiS 2 since early 2020, but I believe Lyla comes from an immigrant family as well, even if we didn’t get a close look at her family, I feel like

they’d bond over that. (And I feel like I remember Lyla’s mom being negligent in terms of not really understanding her daughter’s mental illness, so Alex would probably relate to that too. Though I could be misremembering.) Lyla deserved so much more development and it’s great to find someone else who loves her too!

Thank you so much! Oh man, that’s so fun! It’s been so long since I’ve written headcanons about Lyla. I actually drew a fanart of Alex and Lyla taking a selfie and enjoying bubble tea together back in May.

Their friendship really depends on when they meet. If it’s 2016, Alex is still in foster care and extremely avoidant of highly emotional people and situations. In her journal, Alex writes about struggling to be around a girl with severe depression because she felt it as her own. Given that Lyla struggles with depression, anxiety, and insomnia, Alex would feel it no matter how much Lyla tried to mask it. But maybe on Lyla’s good days, they would go on day trips in Seattle and Lyla would bring her to various food spots: bubble tea, ice cream, dim sum, ramen shops. They’d make dark jokes about how shitty the US healthcare system is, including their overworked therapists. And Lyla would help Alex gradually reconnect with her heritage and open up more about her family.

If it’s 2019, Lyla would have to contend with having her best friend either in prison, in Mexico, or dead. In that way, she would relate heavily to Alex’s grief. Alex has a better handle on her emotions, so she helps Lyla open up and be honest with herself. But also, Lyla was a huge fan of Drugstore Makeup as a teen so when she finds out Alex is dating the Steph Gingrich, she nearly screams. She can hardly believe it when Alex offers to introduce her (and maybe Lyla harbors a secret crush) and tell Alex how lucky she is. Steph just goes, “Love witch, huh? Sounds like a nickname I’d come up for myself in high school.” “I— I’m actually a freshman in college,” Lyla stammers, trying to sound cool. So Steph lets her borrow her witch costume and when Alex giggles to herself, Steph knows she’s picking up on Lyla’s joyful aura. Lyla and Steph seem to have the same sense of humor so they’d be thick as thieves. They’d game together, have jam sessions, and generally just get along great.

Thank you for asking!!

[sukunastoy]

hey, srry to be the one to rant in ur inbox but i saw u were open to anons and ur one of the few ppl ik in this fandom space thts around my age group and i was just wondering. how??

ive been on tumblr and in fandom/fanfic communities since i waz around 15, its basically my main hobby and pretty much the only social outlet i have, and ive just been so down and so lonely because ive been feeling shunned and excluded pretty much everywhere once i disclose my age and i absolutly completely understand WHY bc there r so many younger ppl in these places, but i dont know what else to do. it feels like nothing is fun anymore. the general consensus seems to b that i should just fck off and have some kids and pay bills until i die. how do u deal with it?? are u ever bothered by it? i feel likr a creep for even being here still, but it’s one of the only things i still have tht brings me joy. srry if that was a lot, i feel bad even compareing myself to u in any way because im nowhere near as talented as u are, absolutly delete this if it makes u uncomfortable whatsoever

hope u are doing well yourself 💙 ty for being u

First of all, NEVER be sorry to rant to my inbox!! And I truly feel appreciative for you to tell me all of this. This is a safe space and you're always welcome to it! My reply is a bit long, I didn't want to flood anyone with a super long post, so the rest is beneath the cut.

I completely understand how you feel, about the age thing and the ever present societal norms of "Must be an adult, must have kids, must do this, yada yada". Its depressing as fuck.

I've been into anime and manga since around 13-14 years old (apart from Pokemon which I've loved -And still do!- since the age of 5.)

I always wrote fanfics, always did fanart, even if I thought it was absolute garbage, I was still so happy just doing it. It has been something that got me through the toughest times in my life. I struggle with suicidal depression, always have for as long as I can remember, even back in my single digit days before even becoming a teenager. When I started to reach the age of "adulthood" I started to shy away from what I loved doing because I felt as an adult, I wasn't allowed to enjoy what I truly loved anymore, cause I needed to "grow up." And I did that. For a while. I rarely acknowledged anime. I sold all of my manga, my wall scrolls, my merch. I stopped drawing/writing it as much cause I needed to focus on being an adult, paying my bills, going to college, all that crap.

But, I got worse in my depression. I self harmed, had to go to therapy, had to start medication, and at one point I actually wrote that final goodbye note because I couldn't handle the norm of "being a mature adult" so I figured I must be useless otherwise. If I wasn't happy playing my adult role in society, what was the point of me even living?

During this time I went to college for 3 years, stressing, crying, working on a degree that I didn't even want because I thought it was expected of me. (I've always wanted to go to an art school and get a degree there. But my parents and everyone else in family told me, thats not a real degree. So I left it behind...) For 3 years I wasted my time and money and sanity to try to appease the people who don't pay my bills, don't put food in my mouth and certainly don't do shit for me otherwise, and I finally stopped and thought...

WHY?

WHY am I trying to impress and fit in with people who don't even really know me or provide for me?

I dropped out of the college that was stressing me out. I lost that money, but oh well, I was miserable, and my mental health is more important to me.

I don't want kids. I don't want that boring life of "just work til your dead". I don't want to have boring hobbies that I don't even like just to fit in with the people of my age range who I could care less about.

I'm turning 30 in a few months, and I regret wasting a few years of my life trying to fit into this norm of, bullshit. (And please note to whoever is reading this, if doing a lot of the 'norm' and having a family with kids and everything IS happiness for you, that is beautiful!! I am only referring to the people who don't want that life, and it should NOT be forced upon them.)

I love anime. I love drawing it, writing fics for it, interacting with other people over it, and I don't know why I ever tried to deny that.

I was afraid to return online in the fandoms because surely everyone must only be young teenagers right? Actually, not at all!

I've interacted with SO MANY people near my age range, and, it is truly amazing.

There are lots of people close in age, sometimes they're just a little difficult to find, but they are there, I promise, and they are amazing. I've enjoyed anime more in my adult life now than when I was younger tbh because I stopped caring about what others think and that my age is literally just a number. I'll be 30. So what, that doesn't change what I love. My body is getting older, that's all. I am still ME.

My fiance and I still go out and play Pokemon Go, collect Pokemon cards, like, I have BINDERS full of cards. The store we go to is ALWAYS packed with other people our age and way older who love Pokemon, Digimon, YuGiOh, and all sorts of other anime things they offer there.

These people are out there!

I started being more open with my likes and interests with strangers and coworkers, and I found out a lot of people really are into this, but felt they had to keep it hidden cause they didn't want anyone to think they were weird because of their age.

I surround myself with those who I know are supportive of me, or don't have a problem with my likes and interests and I stay away from those who try to shame me, and I kick them out of my life because I don't need that negativity in my circle. Some people my age who aren't into anime don't have a problem with me being into it at all. They've never shunned me for it. If anyone does, goodbye.

Life is short, its hard, its shitty. It doesn't need to be made worse by trying to appease those who aren't providing for you or feeling like you're not allowed to love what you love. So enjoy the things you love to enjoy. If there's something that you can latch onto that brings honest happiness into your life, cherish it.

I hope this helped in some way...even if just a tiny bit...

I know it was long, but I wanted to explain as much as I could so you don't feel like you're alone or left behind in the fandoms because of age. I tried to deny what brought me joy, and it only brought me more misery. I hated it.

I'm so much happier now, and I truly hope this type of peace comes for you soon as well.

Always feel free to drop in my inbox as anon, I would NEVER delete something like this.

Again, I hope this helped. If I didn't acknowledge something, or seemed to entirely misunderstand, I dearly apologize and please correct me if needed!!

💕 (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

(❁´◡`❁)~Stay shameless!