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hayakawalove · 3 months ago

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Remedy

Summary: You've had a really, really hard day today. The second you come home to Suguru, you fall apart. You tell him you need to turn your brain off. It's a good thing he knows how to help you do that.

A/N: So sorry, I wrote this with my pussy. I really think Suguru is so helpful and caring, if you asked him to make you feel better by treating you like shit, who is he to say no? I feel like I may have wrote him a bit differently in this. I think he's still the same as my Suguru, just more mean. However, I do want him to be mean to me. Thoughts? Comments appreciated!

CW: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Thigh Riding, Dirty Talk, Degradation, Humiliation, Sir Kink, Spit Kink, Creampie, Choking, Hair-pulling, Dom/sub, Dacryphilia, Aftercare, Cock Drunk, He's Pretty Mean In This Just So You're Aware, Uses Other Names Than Slut And Stuff, He Might Call You A Bitch At One Point, Name-Calling, Subspace, Bullying, Fem Reader, AFAB Reader

W/C: 4,301

Credit to cafekitsune for the banner

Today was hard.

There wasn’t any other way to put it.

It was a terrible, no good, rotten day.

To start off, your alarm woke you up late. Not just late, but extremely late. Suguru had to fix your bed head for you as you were walking out the door, if he didn’t you wouldn’t have noticed it. Just like you didn’t notice the little bit of toothpaste left on your lips.

The project you had been working on for weeks at work had been a bust, you couldn’t help but cry at all those hours being lost down the drain.

You missed the train you usually took home, making you late again.

And to top it all off, you forgot your wallet at home. The only way you afforded the train was because some kind old woman paid for your ride.

Yeah. It was a bad time.

After hours of dealing with bullshit, you finally arrive home. You sniffle as you trudge up the walkway to your door, eyes welled up with tears due to your previous frustrations.

Home. You were finally, finally home.

You unlock the door and nudge it open, the warm light of your apartment bathing you in instant bliss. With a sigh, you gently shut the door behind you as you drop all your belongings on your way in. Your feet are unbearably heavy as you drag them further into the apartment. Suguru was home. You could tell by the lighting along with the faint scent of dinner. When you round the corner you see your living room, Suguru sat on the couch with a bored expression on his face. He’s watching some movie, you can't tell what it is, but it’s muted and he looks less than disinterested.

Chestnut eyes flick over to you and a smile filled with warmth sparks on his face.

“Welcome home baby, how was your day?”

Your bottom lip trembles and you let out a noise similar to a whine before closing the gap, scooting next to him on the couch.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” He questions, pivoting his body to provide you with just a little more warmth.

“I had- today was such-“ you bite your lip and burrow your face into his side, begging your body not to fall apart.

He raises an arm to smooth down your back, gentle in his approach, always gentle, quiet as he listens to you. You’re murmuring the details of your day and you know he can't understand you, but he pretends he does, and that’s all that matters.

When you finish crying to him you look up, and you’re instantly met with his face. Concern washes over his features, but you can see his shoulders sag with relief at the mere sight of your eyes.

“You made it through the day, I’m so proud of you.” He places a kiss on your forehead.

“Barely.” You mutter and look away, your fists still curled up in his shirt.

Suguru’s lip quirks up a bit before he trains it down. He always did favor those who put on dramatics. He leans down and presses his lips against yours, and you turn to putty in his presence.

“Can I get you something to eat? I made dinner.”

“No, I’m not hungry.”

Suguru hums and leans back, peering down at you.

“What can I do for you?”

“I just, I just wanna turn my brain off for a bit.”

Suguru looks like he’s calculating something as he analyzes your face. You know what you meant by your words, and you think he does too.

“Yeah? You wanna stop thinking for a bit?”

You dig your teeth in your lip and look up at him, desire pooling in your gut. He knows exactly what you need.

Suguru’s always been good at that.

He pulls back and looks down at your form on the couch. There’s love in his eyes as he gazes at you, and love in his fingertips as he reaches out to swipe your bottom lip.

Suguru leans back in and kisses you, much rougher this time around, and reaches up to grab at your neck. He applies pressure, not too hard, but you can feel your mind begin to sway.

His lips are on yours, stealing the breath from your lungs as he begins to squeeze tighter. The blood is reaching your brain at a much slower pace, and you aren’t sure you’ve ever felt this good before.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.” He murmurs as he pulls away, his grip loosening ever so slightly.

There’s lightning on your skin as you watch him with hazy eyes. Suguru is entrancing. Beauty and confidence leak from his pores as if he had an abundance of them, which he did.

Suguru removes his hand from your throat and instead reaches up to your face. He squeezes your cheeks together, pursing your lips. His hands, normally known for being loving and gentle, are rough as they handle you.

He’s just getting started.

“Open your mouth.” He speaks lowly.

Your tongue slithers from your lips, and your hands hang from his forearms, a tight grip holding on like a lifeline.

Suguru gathers spit from his tongue and he hovers over you, dropping it into your awaiting mouth. Your heart starts to race once it lands on your tastebuds.

“You just need someone to take care of you, is that right?” Your eyes roll back in your head as he continues to goad you. “Need someone to do all the thinking for you?”

You groan, your grip tightening against his forearms. Yes. Yes. You need that.

“Hey.” His fingers squeeze your face harder.

You whimper and your gaze flies back to him. He looks at you with an expectant eye. You know what he’s waiting for.

“Yes sir.” Your words are muddled as you attempt to speak around your misshapen mouth.

“There you go.”

He finally lets go of your face and you’re already missing his touch. Suguru stands and picks you up with ease, holding you close to his chest as he walks the both of you to your bedroom. He was being so gentle, and you’re sure that was because he was going to be the furthest thing from that later.

Once you arrive at your bedroom, Suguru sets you down on the floor and he spins around to sit on the end of the bed. You’re waiting for an order, your feet awkwardly sliding back and forth.

“On the floor.”

You fall to your knees before you can even think to abide by his demand. The floor is hard underneath you, but you welcome the sensation as you crawl up closer to Suguru. His face is stern as he looks down at you, waiting for you to situate yourself.

He unbuckles his pants and slides them down, letting his cock pop free. Already hard. You watch as he squeezes the base of his length, wishing it was your hand instead.

“Come closer.” He says.

You inch closer, your mouth hovering right next to his cock. It’s a centimeter away. You reach your tongue out and swipe along his cock, moaning at the taste. It doesn’t last long as Suguru grabs a fistful of your hair, yanking you back.

“Did I say you could taste it?”

“No sir.” You mumble, knowing you fucked up.

“Then why did you?”

“I just thought-“

“No, you’re not doing any thinking, remember?”

Suguru looks hard at you and you feel like you’ve dropped twenty feet. You murmur a ‘yes sir’ and remain still until he’s removed his hand from your hair. It feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders as your body relaxes. He was going to make all the decisions. You didn’t need to do anything.

Suguru finally leans back and lets his legs fall open a bit more to make space for you.

Where you belong.

“Use your mouth. Not all the way, though.”

Your lips twitch in a grin as excitement flows through your veins. You scoot forward and open your mouth wide, letting your tongue hang out as you slide it against his cock once more.

His tender flesh is like velvet against your tongue as you slather it on him. You drag the tip of your tongue up to the head of his cock where you lap up the droplets of precum he’s gifted you with. Suguru watches silently, taking note of how eager you look.

It’s almost painful not to open your mouth completely to envelope him in your lips, but you want to be a good girl so you don’t.

His cock is shiny from your spit, his tip bright red in need. You wonder how he’s able to show such restraint. If you were in his position now, you would be begging for it.

“Take more.”

He barely gets the words out before you’re swallowing the head of his cock, lowering your lips until you reach the bottom. A gag releases from your throat but you pay it no mind, too intent on making him happy. Suguru shows no reaction, features devoid of any signs that he’s enjoying it. He wants you to work harder.

You slowly drag your head up, letting your tongue work the side of his cock as you do so. His skin is smooth beneath you, the taste of his precum dripping onto your tongue. He’s leaning on his hands, hair spilling over his shoulders as he watches you deepthroat him. There’s a spark of pride in his eyes as he watches you take all of him.

“Just like that,” he murmurs under his breath, sliding his hand through his long locks.

Anyone would be able to see how badly you wanted him. You shuffle your legs below you as heat rushes to your cheeks. His praise always did that to you.

He prefers you take it slow. Suguru is a patient man who enjoys taking his time. So that’s exactly what you do. Your head glides over him slowly, slow enough that you can indulge yourself in all of the details.

You must be getting to him, because you can hear Suguru let out shaky breaths. The sound is something like a symphony to you, urging you to continue.

It’s sort of hard to breathe, but you push on. There’s spit leaking from the sides of your lips, sliding down Suguru’s cock.

“Enough, baby.”

You ease your mouth off him, much to your dismay, and you look up at him with wide eyes. His lids are heavy as he looks down at you. There’s desire in his gaze. You know it, because you feel it too.

Suguru holds a hand out to help you in standing up. Your knees are a bit wobbly from sitting on them for so long. You hold onto Suguru’s forearms to steady yourself and his eyes flick up to you, a small grin on his face. It’s a short moment, a break in character that shows you he cares.

Suguru’s hands slide down your body and he begins to pull your pants off. He does so with practiced ease, the kind that could only happen with years of experience in providing for you.

You let him peel off your shirt as well, slowly removing every item of clothing from your person. You’re completely bare before him, but you feel no insecurity about how you appear.

“Sit on my thigh.”

The request stops you in your tracks. He wants you to sit on him while you’re bare? He must see the panic in your eyes, because he slithers his hand around your waist to draw you in closer.

You nibble on your lip as you slide on top of his thigh, settling each of your legs on either side of him. The muscles in his leg press against your dripping pussy, providing just a hint of comfort.

“Are you sure? I'm gonna make a-“

“A mess? Don’t.”

It’s a warning, his voice stern as he speaks.

Suguru holds your waist firm, his nose grazing the side of your neck. You want to start moving, and he must know it.

“You looked so pathetic down there baby, did you know that?”

You whimper and fist his shirt, embarrassment washing over you.

“Poor needy little thing. Allow me to help you.”

He starts off slow, pushing your hips back and forth. It causes your core to grind against his thigh, the filth between your legs smearing down his leg. You let out a groan and toss your head back, letting him control your body. It feels good to let go.

“That's it, my pretty little slut.” His voice is dark as it caresses your ears, beckoning for you to fall deeper into his trap.

Your hips start to jerk against him, the need for more crawling up the back of your neck. Pleasure zaps your skin, making moans flow freely from your lips. Your clit is puffy as it presses down against him, causing you to fall helpless into your lust.

Suguru attempts to slow you down, the harsh grip of his fingers reminding you of your place. You’re only allowed what he gives you.

“Please, please.” You mutter.

“Oh, you really are a slut huh? Begging for more already?”

Your eyes dart away, his words aiding in the warm feeling growing throughout you. You’re on the verge of crying, a combination of his actions and words. He wants you to cry. You want to cry.

“You’re soaking my thigh. You just can't help it, can you?” He coos.

You shake your head and sniffle, looking down at him. He has a wicked grin below you, it makes your head spin. Suguru shifts you up slightly as he angles your clit directly against his thigh. You could scream at how good it feels. Suguru grinds you against his thigh once more, eyes tracking your face. Not once does he look down.

“No, no I can’t sir.”

“I know, sweetheart. You can’t help being so pathetic, right?”

A single tear drops from your eye as he degrades you. The words cause your eyes to roll back as you rub your clit against him.

“So embarrassing you’re using a leg to get off. Can’t even wait for anything else. Bet if I removed you right now you’d start crying.”

He’s right. God, he’s right. As much as you want his mouth, his fingers, his cock, you can’t imagine stopping now. Not when it feels this good.

You think he’s moaning along with you, but it’s hard to tell. Your head is full of mush as you use his body to get off. His skin is sticky below you, thigh covered in you. You’re groaning, gliding your pussy harder on him.

You’re getting close, so close.

“S-Suguru I’m gonna, can I,” you whine.

Suguru isn't helping at all anymore, instead letting his hands fall lazily against your hips as you work yourself on him.

“Fuck, you’re gonna cum just from that?” He says incredulously.

You bury your face in his neck as your hip jerks. You can feel how close you are, the promise of release touching your finger tips.

“Yes, yes!”

“Cum for me sweetheart.”

You glide back several more times before it washes over you. You moan into Suguru’s neck, and you can hear him chuckle darkly as you finish. It’s embarrassing, but you love it.

You breathe out deeply as your hips jerk against him. You feel worn out already, and you haven’t even done much. Suguru slides his hand down your back and pulls you away so he can watch your expression. You’re panting as you try to look back at him, but your eyes are out of focus.

Suguru waits until you’ve come back to earth before he nudges you back. There’s a large spot on his thigh that’s glistening, your cum painting his bright skin.

“You did make a mess, huh?”

“I-I’m sorry,”

He nudges you off until you’re sitting in front of him once more. You watch with curious eyes as he pushes his leg in front of your face, centimeters from you.

“Why don’t you clean it off?”

It’s posed as a question, but you know damn well it’s not. You stick your tongue out and nervously drag it against his skin. The cum is salty on your tastebuds, and you have to hold back a moan as you lick it up.

“Fucking filthy.” He spits the words like they’re acid on his tongue.

Your pussy begins to pulse again, your eyes closing as you listen to him. He watches you with hardened eyes as you flick your tongue against him. There’s a bit more cum than you were expecting. Damn, you really did make a mess.

Once you’re done cleaning up his leg, although you really just made it more dirty, your saliva coating his hairy thigh, he yanks you up. Your breathing stutters as he pushes you on the bed, his tall figure crawling over you. Something akin to fear curls in your stomach. Suguru is the kindest man you know, but he’s a completely different person when he’s using you like an object.

“Keep your legs open.” He whispers down to you.

You whimper and wrap your hands around your thighs, pulling them apart to present yourself to him. Your pussy is sticky with cum, glistening beneath Suguru. He’s sturdy above you, leaning forward as he guides his cock into you. The stretch hurts a bit at first, but it’s a pain you are well accustomed to.

“Pussy’s so fucking needy.” He speaks to himself, tone dark as he watches his body sink further into your core.

You’re letting out quiet moans as you close your eyes. Suguru’s slow as he pushes himself further into you, his cock dragging deliciously against your walls. When he’s buried himself fully in you, he pauses for a moment. Waits to listen for your ragged breathing as you rhythmically clench his cock.

You’re seconds away from begging him to move. Your legs are burning from being kept into position, but you would never dream of defying his orders. You’re tempted to begin rocking your hips, but you tell yourself to have faith.

Suguru pulls back slowly, watching as your cum paints his cock. He stops once his tip is the only thing left inside as he admires the sight. He waits and then slams his hips forward, driving his cock deep into you. You groan at the feeling, eyes flying open as he starts to pound into you.

You’re moaning below him, legs bouncing as you try to keep yourself open for him. His cock presses against your gspot every time he thrusts inside you, almost taking your breath away.

“See how much better it feels when you let me have control?” He panders to you.

You can hear his words, but you can’t form a response. His cock feels punishing as he pushes into you hard. Your skin feels too hot for your body, and you aren’t sure if it’s because of the physical strain or because of Suguru’s eyes. He’s looking at you, picking out all of the reactions you make based on how hard he’s fucking you. He’s memorized them all by now, but he still looks for them nonetheless.

Suguru shifts his hand between your bodies, placing his fingers on your clit. It’s hard beneath his fingers, trembling under the pressure. Suguru starts to rub slow circles around it, indulging himself in the noises you let out.

“My my, look at that. What a good whore.”

You think he must be teasing you. You don’t need to see yourself to know you look like a mess. Your eyes roll back and you yank your legs up to give him more access.

“Say it for me. Tell me you’re my good little whore.”

“I’m-I’m you’re good little whore!”

“That's right. Shit, you’d probably do anything I’d tell you to.” He groans.

“Y-yes, yes sir!”

He’s talking down to you, the coldness in his voice making your heart race. The world is spinning around you, and at the center of it is Suguru.

Suguru’s moving faster now, partially because he’s losing himself to the feeling. He gets off on making you happy, feels his heart burst when he can make you feel better. It’s a bonus that treating you this way does that for you. He likes to watch you crumble beneath him.

His fingers glide against your clit, pressing down as he twirls around it. It feels like a wet spot is forming under you, the result of the pleasure Suguru was giving you drooling down your slit.

You’re inching closer once more, every fiber of your being burning up as Suguru fucks you.

“Feels so good sir, so good, you’re gonna make me cum!”

Suguru slows his hips down at that, an eyebrow raised as he watches you whine. Your hips are circling around, trying to feel any form of pressure.

“Oh honey,” he coos.

He likes torturing you, you think. There’s an evil grin on his face as he watches you writhe about beneath him. Poor thing. You’re a prisoner to pleasure, mind numb from need.

“Gotta cum!” You chant below him.

Suguru starts back up, thrusting his cock into you once more. He’s still looking at you with that damn expression. One that shows his dominance, a look that makes your heart race.

“That’s all you need? To cum?”

“Yes sir! Yes, yes!”

Suguru ignores your request.

“Fuck, you just need someone else to do all the thinking for you so you can be a brainless little slut. Only used for cock,” he moans. “Is that all you’re good for?”

“Yes, yes!” You’re sobbing now, tears streaming down your face.

It feels so fucking good. It must be a crime to feel this good.

He’s still rubbing your clit with precision, and you’re almost there. You moan as he fucks himself into you, cock enveloped by your warm tight walls. He holds you down as he plunges into you, watching you cry from his cock.

Suguru uses his other hand to hold your throat, his fingers lacing around the delicate arteries in your neck. He applies pressure, much harder than before as he abuses you. The pain is just what you need to toss yourself over the edge, your pussy clenching in perfect rhythm, squeezing his cock as he fucks you.

“Fucking s-shit. That’s it, cum on my cock, dirty bitch,” He whines instantly, body trembling as you keep a death grip on him.

Suguru guides you through it as you cum, face leaning down besides yours as he goes. He keeps a hand on your throat until you’re finished, only removing it once you stop twisting beneath him.

Suguru shoves into you again, before he feels himself burst. He moans into your neck as he cums, hips jerking as he rides out his high. You let go of your legs and throw your arms around his neck, tugging him closer. Suguru’s thrusts slow until he’s completely still, lungs putting in the extra work as he breathes deeply.

You think there’s static in your ears because you can’t hear anything. Not a single sound. There’s only warmth, and it’s in the form of Suguru’s love, steadily leaking out of you.

He takes a deep breath and pushes himself up, gaze flicking down to your face. You look fucked out in every sense of the word. Your eyes are lazy, dragging around as you look, occasionally twitching.

“Hey, hey.” Suguru murmurs.

He pushes one of his hands against your forehead and smoothes your hair back. His shoulders relax once you react. You must feel something. Your eyelids close and a small smile grows on your lips.

Suguru is an indulgent man. He hangs his head to gently kiss you, you aren’t aware of it but he could be pressed up against your lips forever. Your eyes slowly open, lashes fluttering as you float down, down, down back to earth.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” Suguru says.

His kind words are just what you need, immediately smoothing the deep cuts he made verbally. He pets your body, careful in his approach. Suguru slides from your warm walls, feeling bad the second you wince.

“I know, I know, I can’t stay there forever though.”

You don’t talk as he speaks, instead choosing to whimper.

“Hey, I’m right here princess. I’m not going anywhere.”

Suguru lays beside you and hoists you next to him. You don’t think you’ve ever been this comfortable in your whole life. The bed below you feels like a field of grass, soft against your skin, and Suguru is the warm air that caresses your body.

“You’re okay.” He says, his hand sliding down your arm.

He’s right. You know he’s right. What he’s saying feels right.

He may have treated you like an object, but he did so out of love. He does everything for you out of love. Earlier, your mind was too full. You needed a break. And he gave you that. Now, your mind is much lighter.

“You did so well. You’re perfect, perfect. I promise I didn’t mean anything I said. You know that?”

You mumble an agreement, nuzzling your face into his chest. You might not feel up to talking, but you’re appreciative of his efforts to care for you.

“I love you.” The sincerity of his words cause your body to melt against him.

“I love you.” You reply, words jumbled and hard to discern.

You felt so good. But you were also so fucking tired.

“Get some rest baby.” His hand strokes your arm.

You smile against his side, letting yourself fall into a deep slumber.

Tag List: @tojislittleprincesss, @dinolvrrr, @kimi01985, @mikisspeak, @sad-darksoul, @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni, @sakui1, @reiluvr, @gothicwhore666, @bunviixo

If you want to be added to my tag list just let me know, please specify what you wanted to be added for

#my writing #suguru x reader #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #suguru x you #suguru geto x you #geto x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk

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peachyscenes · 10 months ago

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perv!ateez thoughts

note: this isn’t an actual representation of ateez. all for fun, just some thoughts. gender neutral reader. MDNI!

reblogs appreciated!!

—————

perv!hongjoong doesn’t mean to perv on you. ‘it’s natural!’ he thinks to himself when he envisions how you’d look underneath him. he just likes you so much, he can’t help but squint a bit whenever you’re wearing a white shirt. or when a bit of your underwear is showing. just seeing a tiny bit of the band sends his blood to his cock and he has to excuse himself to the bathroom to jerk-off to the vision of you stripping for him.

this isn’t the first time he sees you in your pool. this also isn’t the first time perv!seonghwa uses this opportunity to try to get a peak at your almost naked body. your bathing suit hugs you so well too. he thinks he's in heaven when you unravel the towel from your body. he groans as he sees you climb out of your pool, all in your wet glory. he almost cums in his pants when you decide to lounge on one of your pool chairs. and you're still wet. the light of the sun only doing you justice as it makes your skin glow. if he runs upstairs for his telescope, he's certain he can be able to see more of your assets.

he has your minutes counted and perv!yunho knows that at any second you're going to walk through your bedroom door with a towel wrapped around. you tend to take quick showers, which is why yunho has to hurry when he knows your soccer practices are over. he fist pumps the air when he sees that he beat you. his bedroom window faced yours and if he opened his curtains enough, he could see you. and then you enter your bedroom. he grows hard seeing your naked body once you unravel your towel. he notices your body lotion and makes note to buy the same one so he knows what you smell like.

perv!yeosang feels ashamed. not for having a crush on you, his roommate, but for listening in when you masturbate. it's to the point where he has your schedule for your "personal sessions" memorized. he can't help himself though! he just wants you so, so, so bad. tonight is another one of your sessions and like a moth to a lamp, he's outside your door. your moans are so sweet. you're very vocal and that's something that he's always appreciated about you, especially since he's more reserved. perv!yeosang stand outside your door, turned on, and wonders if you'd be a vocal if he were there. he wondered if you wouldn't mind taking the lead.

i have to stop he thinks to himself. you're going to notice soon and he's pretty sure that you're going to know immediately. i mean, the poor boy can't even lie properly. perv!san feels like he's on a top secret mission whenever you decide to hop in the shower. he's your best friend, but is this what best friends do? stealing each other's underwear? in his defense, you just smell so good. he especially likes your underwear that you've worn for more than 2 days. quickly, he stashes them into his pocket before sitting on your sofa like he didn't just steal your underwear to smell and jerk off to later from your dirty clothes bin.

perv!mingi seems like he's a sweet guy. and he is! he'll stand behind you going up the stairs or the escalators when you're at the mall. he'll offer hospitality jacket if you feel too cold in your outfit. he'll even compliment your shirt. but if you catch him at the right time, he's staring at your ass. or slightly touching the skin of your exposed midriff. or staring at your chest, especially if you have on a tight fitted shirt. deep down, mingi wants you to catch him, that way he can drop his little nice guy act and show you what he really wants to do to you.

feeding you is his favorite thing. perv!wooyoung just loves getting food with you. it doesn't matter if it's take out or at home, he's going to stuff you. he also wonders if the way you let him feed you, you'd let him stuff your mouth with his own cock. if the way you'd hum at new flavors is how you would hum at the taste of him on your tongue. wooyoung wants you to taste him and everything about him. he wants to give you the best of the best meals, and of course that includes him as well.

perv!jongho feels like such a teenage boy when he sees you during his gym time. today you're working on your legs and he feels himself drooling at your toned thighs. he almost moaned seeing the bit of sweat on your forehead and neck and he wondered if you would look the same if he was between your legs. he thanked whoever you believed in for your choice of clothing today too. shorts that really accentuated your ass and a compression shirt that made him almost bite his own tongue off.

#ateez smut #ateez x reader smut #hongjoong smut #seonghwa smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #san smut #mingi smut #wooyoung smut #jongho smut

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pinkacademiaprincess · 1 year ago

Note

Hiii I’m so sorry to bother you!, hope your day goes well <3 I just want to ask, how can I improve in maths? I’m preparing myself for the sat and I have trouble with understanding it. Any tips would be very much appreciated, thanku !! ♡

Become a Math Whiz: Acing Math Class & the SAT 📈✏️📚👩‍🏫

ty for the ask & the kind words! you are never a bother, i'm happy to help 🥰 i can def give some tips as someone who went from struggling w/ math to being good at it. and i’ve taken the SAT so i know that experience as well! i hope this helps 💗

take accountability

it’s very easy to try to shift blame & avoid taking responsibility for your grades/ performance. i used to think things like “the teacher is just bad!” or “i’m just not a math person!” but this mindset is just deflecting. some things are out of your control, like what teacher you have or preferring other subjects, but you have to step up & work hard to create your own success! remembering this will help you stay motivated and disciplined.

find your learning style

i talked about this in a previous post too, but there are different styles of learning - visual, auditory, hands-on, & reading/writing - and not all of them work for everyone. if you spend a ton of time studying and don’t see improvement or results, that’s a big sign that you’re studying wrong. a method that works for your friend or that your teacher uses might not actually be effective for you. so do some research into learning styles and study methods, and find implement strategies that work for you.

never fall behind

okay, easier said than done. but one of the biggest reasons i used to struggle is math is that i would get stuck on a concept, never fully master it, and then i’d stay behind. in math, a lot of topics build on each other. if you get stuck on a topic, it’s crucial that you figure it out asap or your confusion will snowball. you can’t build a solid structure on top of a wobbly foundation. the moment you encounter a problem area, study it until you’ve completely understood.

practice makes perfect

i try to steer clear of recommending specific study methods b/c everyone has different learning styles. but math is so dependent on problem solving & applications that you really have to master this skill in order to succeed. beyond just reviewing your notes & reading over concepts, you need to practice applying topics by solving problems. do the homework questions & do them for accuracy, even if it’s just graded for completion. find extra problems in the textbook, workbook, online, etc. redo questions from class or the hw that confused you until you can do them correctly without your notes. drill it until you can solve them AND understand how the steps work!

ask for help

i am clearly a big proponent of asking for help. in school, your teachers are gonna be one of the best resources you have. for one, they’re teachers for a reason, so even if you think they’re not too great at explaining stuff, they know the concepts. and besides that, your teachers the ones who are creating units, assigning your work, writing & grading your tests... they should be your go-to for questions. visit them during office hours or email to set up a meeting where you can discuss concepts. ask for extra practice problems, ask them to look over your work & let you know how it looks, talk through your work with them. aside from teachers, you can get help from a tutor, a classmate, whoever you can turn to. but pls don’t suffer alone! succeeding with help is still succeeding.

use the internet

so maybe your teacher truly sucks at explaining. maybe you don’t have classmates to help and can’t afford a tutor. or maybe you just wanna supplement your learning another way. i really really recommend utilizing free learning tools online!! khan academy is an obvious one for videos, practice problems, and more. you can also find tons of youtube videos explaining math topics. sometimes it helps to hear things explained another way. i also google “[math concept] practice problems” if i want extra questions to work through.

bonus: tips for SAT math

the SAT is a bit different b/c the math concepts aren’t actually too advanced. it’s all multiple choice so you don’t get to rely on partial points for showing your work. the SAT is testing your strategy & speed as much as it’s actually testing you on math concepts, so here are my best tips for that specifically:

use khan academy’s SAT prep tool - it’s free (!!!!!) and it links to your collegeboard account. it uses prior years’ SAT content so it’s very similar to the test itself. it helps you pace yourself, pinpoint your problem areas, learn & apply concepts, & track your progress. here's a screenshot from when i used it, as you can see my scores improved and i was able to ultimately get a superscore of 1450!

take practice tests - this helps you get familiar with the time constraint. khan academy has plenty!!

do a ton of SAT math practice questions - ideally, find a ton of questions used in prior SAT tests and just crank them out. the test's concepts are quite repetitive so if you just focus on the topics they usually test, you can master them

learn test-taking strategies - the SAT is multiple choice and has a tricky time constraint, so however you can save time will help. become good at using the process of elimination & other multiple choice test methods. you can find these sorts of tips online!

i hope this helps! know that you are completely capable of improving at math. i went from thinking i suck at it & doing poorly in math class to acing my calc courses & studying to enter a math-focused field. utilize your resources and figure out your best study style asap, and you WILL see improvements!

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wroteclassicaly · 2 years ago

Text

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, smut, NSFW, and vaginal sex!

A/N: Idk what this is, but I came up with it last night, so here you go. I miss posting (I’m working on stuff, though), and I figured I’d just go with the flow of this mini drabble idea. Love y’all! ❤️

Eddie sneaking into your window at night, because he’s woken up and he can’t stop squirming, needing to have you now. He usually opts for knocking or using the spare key you’d given him, but he kind of lost it in the mess that is his room (it’s buried under campaign idea sheets), and it’s late. His van is loud as it cruises down your street and finds your residence, his cock already aching in his black sweats. He’s fucking freezing, the only thing keeping him warm beside his sweats is a cut off white crop top with a faded Marlboro label (a shirt of Wayne’s he was given and made his own), his boots are halfway on and unlaced, making him nearly trip as he hobbles to your bedroom window and does his expert lock picking thing. It’s comical to try and clamber through a window with a raging boner.

He hisses when he successfully gains entry, latching the window behind him, then kicking off his boots to warm his toes in the comfort of your rug. Your form is curled around your pillow, your breathing even and steady. You look so fucking soft, so ripe. Eddie wants more than a taste. He slips easily out of his sweats and his shirt, boxers halfway down his hips, too painful to get off.

Eddie’s ring clad hand slides up and down your quilt covered side, sheets rustling as you slowly turn, his voice immediately easing your worried confusion. Those plush lips that taste like fresh cigarettes and cinnamon find your temple, kissing just lightly. “Mhm…? Eddie?” It’s a stifled whimper, an appreciative yawn. “What time s’ it?” You mumble.

With every letter you speak, Eddie is that much closer to losing it, the ache twisting in his gut. He’s beyond desperate, already peeling your layered blankets back and climbing in behind you, rolling his hips into your backside, cold hands finding hovering purchase on your tits beneath your shirt. Still the gentleman, he’s questioning you. “Can I? Need you so fucking bad, sweetheart. Drove over here in the sleet and rain just to have my girl and my sweet little pussy.”

Beyond the cove of your slowly awakening mind, arousal throbs between your thighs, making you arch into Eddie’s hands, whimpering when the wind soaked digits cool against your hot skin. A series of curses die in your throat, a gasp the only thing that escapes. Eddie’s hands pinch your nipples, tugging them into hardened peaks, continuing to rut into you, his boxers damn near sliding off his hips.

“Oh, fuck. You came all this way in shit weather just to do this?” You always sell yourself short, according to Eddie. Aside from the best lover you’ve had, he’s also your hype man/boyfriend.

You can practically feel his frown, his movements briefly halting, lips readying a kiss for your neck. When he speaks, it’s a warm gust of air on your ear, causing you to push your tits further into his palms. “Do what? Do—“ He dips his pelvis and drags his hard dick directly over your ass, making sure you really feel all of him through your sleep pants, before continuing. — “this?”

“Fuck. Help me get my pants and panties off, please.” You’re salivating, feeding off his energy, cock drunk and desperate now too.

Eddie has his boxers down over his ass and your pajama bottoms, complete with your soaked panties— off in seconds flat. His voice is still so raspy, wind bitten, his fingers finding your jaw as one hand leaves your shirt, tilting your mouth to his for a kiss. You help him maneuver your legs together, yours stretched back over his, the hair tickling the backs of your knees. His smell is surrounding you, fresh from his nightly shower, aftershave present, rainwater, and cigarettes from his crumbled pack. He’s breaking away to question you, blown pupils shaving off any remaining color in his irises. “Condom?”

You shake your head, forgoing the box you’d kept in your drawer. “Not tonight.”

Eddie slides inside you with ease, smacking your ass, grateful there’s a silhouette of a snowy sky and nearby street lamps framing your entire set of activities. He’s nosing into your neck, commenting on your request. “This your way of asking me to cum inside you, sweetheart?”

“I want it so fucking bad, Eds. Show me why you woke me up, baby.”

You wouldn’t care if it was sex or not. With how much you love Eddie, he could barge in later than this to show you a potato chip he’d taken a bite out of and you wouldn’t give two fucks, but you would admire, because he’s Eddie. And he’s all yours.

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gojoswhitebabydolllashes · 1 month ago

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I have a memory. Back at the party

- an eren yeager x reader fanfic

----THIS STORY IS NOW COMPLETELY UPDATED AND READY TO READ FULLY.

Warnings: MDNI! erens mean, like an absolute bitch. College!au. Angsty. Reader is sorta quiet but really smart. Erens kinda a dick. True enemies to lovers. Violence. High school stuff. Drugs and alcohol. Ooc aot. Very Sexual content. Sex while intoxicated (do not do this) Sorta Dom!eren very briefly. Casually dominant eren! Enemies to lovers, but it's more like they go from enemies to she likes him, and he still hates her to then they start dating😅😭 ‼️heavy themes of SA and suicide and having drinks spiked.‼️ please read with caution.

(This is very long)

Any feedback is greatly appreciated as this is ongoing.♡☆

Your college sucked. Despite it being your first day, the impression you had been given was not pleasing. There was a rat in your room and neighbors who constantly fucked in the dorm across the hall. Although you were new and were in no position to change the state of anything, you felt you had a right to be upset things already weren't going well.

"You know this is the frat wing, right?" A blonde girl spoke from behind you.

She had short blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, she didn't look like the kind of girl who would hurt a fly but you didn't want to make assumptions already.

Oh, and that's another thing. You'd been forced to move into a room in the frat wing due to the other wings having bigger issues than a few shirtless males. You felt it couldn't be absolutely awful, despite some noise each night and the possibility of a drunk fratboy falling at your doorstep, it wasn't horrible.

"Oh yeah I know I didn't have much of a choice" You ended the sentence with a small chuckle.

"I'm historia, by the way, I'm the schools resident tutor" she spoke rather proudly.

"I'm y/n" you replied.

Historia nodded and gave you a firm hit to the shoulder. "Nice meeting you y/n, good luck over here"

With no further words, she walked away with a whiff of perfume trailing behind her, leaving you to wonder why the schools tutor was in the frat wing, but after seeing the blonde walk into a room with a tall, beefy blonde guy, you immediately closed your door and tried to forget it as you unpacked your things.

Leading into the afternoon, you were sitting in the library with your headphones on, trying to focus on writing in your diary. You'd been attempting to write down what happens to you each day, good or bad, and you'd found it'd been helping with keeping you sane.

With music blasting in your ears, you obviously couldn't hear anything, so when a female brunette sat across from you, it took her waving her pencil infront of your paper to get your attention.

You swiped your headphones off to meet the girl's gaze. She had a dark, stringy hair that fell into a waterfall over her shoulders and wore small glasses.

"Are you aware there's a group of girls behind you that keep laughing at you?" She spoke.

You nodded "yup" you said With a pop of your lips against your teeth.

She let out a huff of air and rummaged through her tote bag. "I'm mikasa," she said with a faint groan as she lifted a heavy stack of books onto the table.

Your eyes widened at the amount.

"I'm y/n" you said, still shocked at the massive book stack.

For a short while, mikasa didn't say anything and sat on her phone, ignoring the book stack, which you were sure the ISS could see. You went back to writing in your diary, about to put your headphones back on before mikasa tapped you.

"My friends are on their way to us now, is that okay?"

You appreciated her asking but you were also in no position to tell her that it's not okay.

"Of course!" You smiled.

Mikasa replied with a thumbs up, and you put your headphones on, playing any song you could so that you would hopefully be left alone.

Deep into writing a small poem in your diary, you were too focused to notice that a group of 5 people had approached the table, pulling up chairs to sit on. You eyed each one of them as you pulled off your headphones.

Immediately, your eyes landed on a lean male with black hair that fell in front of his eyes. He donned a black button-up and black pants. One other male you recognised from the room down the hallway that historia, who sat beside him with her arm on his shoulder, went into. There were two more people, a guy with shaggy brown hair in a blue knit sweater and a short, rather innocent looking guy with blonde hair.

"Where's eren?" Historia asked mikasa.

Mikasa shrugged her blazer adorned shoulders. "I truly don't know Tori, off doing fuck knows what"

The bigger blonde guy turned to you. "And who's this?"

"This is y/n, she's new I think"

Everyone gave you a small wave except the short and brooding black haired guy at the tables edge. You didn't pay no mind to it and waved back to everyone anyways.

"Where are you from?" The short blonde guy asked.

"Tokyo" you gave a small smile.

"Well" mikasa started and went around the table introducing everyone.

"This is Levi, armin, historia, reiner and bertholdt"

You nodded to them, acknowledging them all. You didn't want to come across as bitchy but truth was you hated meeting new people and truly just wanted to go to sleep.

"Back in a sec"

Standing up to find another textbook, you headed down into the main shelving area where you immediately collided with a stranger who had been heading the opposite way to you.

Knocking into his hard shoulder, you went to apologize but found an angrier face than you were expecting.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Can you see straight, or do you need a fucking guide dog?"

Your lips parted. Offended, you scoffed.

"I was just about to apologise but fuck you I guess"

The male in question, unfortunately, was incredibly gorgeous. Messy brown hair tied into a half up ponytail, a black faded band tank top showed off his defined tattooed arms. He donned a silver eyebrow piercing, a bridge piercing, and a nose ring. He had defined brows and sharp eyes that bored holes into your skin.

His pale pink lips wore a pissed off pout.

"Watch where your fucking walking next time!" He spat.

"Me?!" You exclaimed "your literally walking on your fucking phone!"

The pissed off male huffed and pushed past you, knocking into your shoulder, causing you to knock into the bookcase, which led to a bunch of textbooks falling onto you and the ground.

The male turned around. "Should really clean that up"

You shook your head and scoffed, leaning down to pick up the books.

"Fucking prick" you mumbled to yourself.

"Hey!" You heard a familiar voice.

Heading towards you was mikasa. "Need help?" She asked.

You sighed "yeah that'd be great, thanks mikasa"

She smiled and leant down to you.

"Tell me that guy is about to be expelled, I think if I see him again, I'm gonna shoot him" You spoke.

Mikasa laughed at you. Whether teasingly, agreeing or out of doubt. "Yeah that's eren"

"So you know him?"

"He's my ex-boyfriend" she stated, making you pity her. "Unfortunately he's always been like that"

You looked over at the table of friends and noticed eren was sitting with them.

No. You said mentally. He fucking sits with them.

"Just ignore him. His parents don't love him" mikasa joked.

You let out a small laugh as you put the last book on the shelf. "Thanks for the help"

"No problem," mikasa spoke as you both walked to the table.

Much to your dismay, eren was sitting across from you. Leaned back in his chair, with legs spread and an arm across his chest and his phone in the other.

You gathered your books and your laptop before putting them in your bag.

"Bye guys, it was nice meeting...most of you"

They waved you goodbye as you walked off. Little did you know that eren was watching you as you left, already plotting every single way to push you to your limit.

That night, mikasa and historia came to your dorm begging you to come to a party down the hall. Immediately, you denied. Parties were not your thing, and especially if that prick from earlier was gonna be there, you were not gonna have a good time.

"It'll be fun, we promise" historia smiled widely trying to be assuring, but you only found it mildly creepy.

"I don't know, guys," you said softly "I don't have very good experiences with parties"

The girls both nodded. "We get it, and I won't lie, The frat parties are definitely wild, but we'll protect you, okay?" Mikasa said gently.

You finally caved in and even let mikasa and historia dress you. Putting you in a short silvery dress that almost showed your asscheeks and some strappy heels that already were killing you.

You let your hair fall over your shoulders.

"I like it, but it's pretty short, don't you think?" You said looking in the mirror.

You couldn't deny your legs looked good in it, however. Mikasa, who was wearing a shining red top with a matching short skirt and black heels, was likely in the same boat as you, except she enjoyed rowing it.

"Nah" mikasa flicked her hand "You'll be fine, besides who knows what you'll get up to tonight"

You cringed in Disgust just as historia poked her head out from around the corner. "And also put this on!"

She threw you a lacy silver masquerade mask.

"A mask?" You questioned.

Historia nodded. "It's the theme"

You turnt to mikasa, who had hers on. Historia walked out from around the corner in a bright blue dress and a matching mask.

"Are we ready?" She asked

Of course, you weren't ready. Fuck no you did not want to go to this stupid frat party, you didn't want to get drunk or do drugs or be deafened by loud music and most of all, you did not want to see eren.

---

Just as you'd suspected, the frat party was Chaotic. Perhaps to the point where it resembled a renaissance painting, the party was filled to the brim with masked people. Various liquids were splashing everywhere, and there were things already sticking to your shoes. The bright neon lights hurt your eyes, and the loud music, despite being a song you loved, was making your ears bleed.

"I'm gonna get a drink!" Mikasa spoke, yelling as loud as she could.

I'll come with you" historia yelled back. "Want anything?" She asked you.

You shook your head as they nodded before walking off. You knew that there was a high chance you would not see them again for a while. Immediately afraid of being alone, you walked toward the nearest couch you could find.

You were alone at a party full of people you did not know. You felt like crying but knew there was no way you could be seen crying at a party. Instead, you walked to find the drinks table and grabbed whatever you could see.

It tasted like cough syrup, or somehow worse. Like hand sanitiser. The liquid was cold and burnt your throat with a harsh sting. Still. You drank it. Instantly your head was buzzing and everything was blurring together.

Suddenly, you felt something rubbing against your back. It was tall and strong with a hard dick that pressed into your ass. You froze as the figures' arms snaked around your waist, large hands wrapping around your sides with ease.

You felt soft hair tickle you exposed skin as a head came up into your nape. Turning, you were met with a black mask adorned with raven feathers on the side. Broad shoulders blocked you from escaping on either side.

"Do you fucking mind?" You scoffed, trying to push the figure off you.

They laughed darkly. "Got a mouth on you, huh? I'd really like to put that to work, baby. " The stranger brought a dark gloved hand to your lips, toying them.

You pushed their hand away and finally managed to escape them, hurrying away into the crowd as quickly as you could. You found yourself running upstairs once you realised the stranger was chasing you into the crowd.

With your heart and mind racing a million miles, you hurried into the closest room you could find, not caring who you could barge in on as long as the stranger didn't get you.

You found yourself in a dark, monochrome room full of posters with one massive bed. A desk and a closet sat in the corner by a large black lamp. You hear rummaging in the closet but ignore it as you see the stranger enter the room.

Your eyes filled with tears as you backed into a corner. "Please just leave me alone" you sobbed, holding your hands out to show surrender.

"Who the fuck is that?" You heard a voice say before someone emerged from the dimly lit closet.

A Torso full of sculpted abs out on display for you to see. The stranger from the closet had a black shirt unbuttoned and draped on their shoulders, black pristine suit pants, and a pair of black boots. an expensive looking belt sat in their hand and You were lying if you said they didn't ignite something within you.

On their face was a basic black mask.

"Connie what the fuck are you doing with my mask!" The closet figure tore the mask off the other stranger, revealing a male with olive skin and a buzz cut.

Connie, as you heard, looked ashamed of himself as he turned to face the other person. Upon taking their basic mask off, you were shocked to see none other than eren, the prick from the library. Immediately, you regretted feeling anything for the man.

"And who the fuck is this? Why are you scaring all the fucking girls man?" Eren walked over to you.

"You all good?" He helped you up.

You didn't know why he was being nice after the incident in the library, but then you realised he didn't know it was you. Much to your disappointment, he was still igniting heat within your thighs.

You cleared your throat.

"I'm okay, thank you" you smiled softly.

Eren nodded and turned to Connie with a pissed off face. "Apologize right fucking now" he ordered.

Connie looked at you. "Sorry girlie. I didn't mean to freak you out"

"It's fine. I'm just gonna go get a drink"

You left the room with no further words.

---

Still uncomfortable from earlier, you still sat on the couch sipping a drink. Mikasa and historia were still not in sight, which makes you think they may have gone home or were else where doing God knows what.

You eyed the crowd, now a bit more tipsy than before, your eyes landed on a tall figure in the crowd who held the hips of a girl Grinding on their crotch as they danced.

Suddenly, you felt a wave of jealousy fall upon you. Something within you wanted that, what the girl was having. Standing up. You slowly but surely stumbled toward them. You rubbed up against them, trying to get their attention. Within an instant, the stranger was focused on you, leaving the other girl who was immediately taken by another.

The stranger grabbed your hips tightly. In the blinding lights, you could just make out hand tattoos and some rings gleaming in the neon above. Your hips began to sway sensually, rubbing your ass up against the strangers crotch. You felt something hard pressing up against you through what felt like denim, but you weren't sure.

"Come upstairs with me ma" a deep voice found your ear.

And you couldn't help but feel like you'd heard it before.

Without hesitation, you followed the stranger upstairs, where they led you to a cold room. Unable to see a single thing, you could only feel the sharp feeling of cool metal rings at the base of your neck before being pushed onto a soft bed.

The stranger straddled your now revealed ass, heavy Weight trapped you under them. With their hand still at the base of your neck you felt them lean down to you.

"You gonna be a good little slut?", they said softly.

You couldn't answer but instead rubbed your thighs together. The hand on your neck moved to your hair, grabbing a fistful and tugging your head up harshly.

The strangers free hand found your clit through your panties, rubbing it through the flimsy lace. Without warning, they plunged two thick fingers inside you, thrusting and curling them at a rapid pace.

"fucking answer me, are you deaf?, or too busy focusing on getting finger fucked like a slut?, is that what you want huh?", the stranger grinned their hard bulge into your ass, making you writhe.

Their fingers continued to work, deep inside you pumping fast. With their thumb they rubbed your clit at the same time as they fucked you on their fingers.

The stranger laughed darkly.

"Yes, Daddy, please, I'll be such a good girl for you" you pouted.

"That's a good fucking girl", they pressed a soft kiss to your neck. "God your clenching on my fingers like a desperate little whore. Your pathetic"

The strangers words turnt you on. Your pussy soaking wet even after they called you pathetic. You truly were, fucking yourself on a strangers fingers. Their other hand held your face into the mattress, pushing you deep into the blanket.

"God your feel so fucking good around my fingers. You gonna cum baby? Gonna let me taste you, aren't you? Just like the good girl you said you would be, huh? Gonna let me taste this pretty pussy baby?"

----

The next morning, you woke up way past your alarm. A pounding headache was destroying your ability to focus on getting dressed as you kept stumbling over random things on your floor. Still dizzy and in pain, you tried hurrying to your class hoping it had just started.

You felt like you had run a marathon on needles. Your eyes were aching, and so were your legs. Your heart beat at an uncomfortably fast pace as you tried to hurry to the classroom.

You entered the room unfortunate to find everyone was already there, including the professor.

"Take a seat" the woman said calmly and pointed to the crowd of chairs and people.

You heard a few snickers as you walked up the steps toward an empty seat beside a short ginger girl.

"Hey!" You heard someone whisper to you.

You looked up, still a bit disoriented, to see mikasa.

"I'm so fucking sorry for leaving you last night, we went home after a few hours because Tori wasn't feeling so great", she explained.

You nodded along. "It's fine you don't have to explain yourselves to me I understand"

Reaching for your books in your bag, you jerked your head up only to meet a hard surface, watching as a phone dropped infront of you into your bag.

"Jesus fucking christ! What the fuck is up with you?!"

Eren.

He reached down and snatched his phone back from your bag. You sat up to meet his dark looming gaze.

"What the fuck is your problem?", you spat at him.

"Whiny, clumsy bitches like you" he pointed sharply before walking off to the back row.

You were thankful he did so that you didn't have to look at him.

Halfway through the class, you overheard eren and another guy talking up the back. Eren went on to talk about the apparently "fucking amazing" sex he'd had last night. He described each an every detail up unto even talking about handcuffs and for some reason a fucking collar.

You cringed, feeling like throwing up at the thought of fucking that prick. Rubbing your neck, you coughed and thanked the lord that there wasn't long to go for the lecture.

---

After the lecture, you found reiner and Levi in the library with historia and mikasa by them. You waved to them and sat at the table.

"Hey!" Reiner exclained

"Hi!" You said back.

For a while, you all sat making small talk before historia brought up last night's party. She went on to explain how she hooked up with some guy, and after hearing erens story, you could only assume she was the same girl.

"Eren apparently had some mad sex with some girl last night. He was telling me about it in the class, sounded like our resident emo boy definitely got all up in there"

You raised your brows at levis words. So he was the one eren was talking to before. Weirdly, you felt deja vu talking about it, like you'd experienced it before, been in this situation.

"He said she had the fattest ass", reiner added onto levis story.

"My God, don't even tell me about it, I haven't stopped hearing about his hand fit around her throat so perfectly" mikasa made a noise of disgust.

"Grosssss" historia groaned playfully.

"He kept saying how easy it was to rip off her dress. These girls really gotta start wearing stronger material" Levi joked.

Your eyebrows scrunched as mikasa suddenly eyed you off. "Your awfully quiet over there y/n"

"Hm? No, I'm just listening. I wanted to ask, though, did eren mention what this girl was wearing?"

Levi shrugged. "Just said it was some kinda silver flimsy shit I don't know".

Your mouth hung open. No fucking way. Immediately, you hurried out of your chair, not caring that you knocked it over. Your heart pounded as you tried running down the hall, passing all the students as you ran toward the bathroom. Your breath was rapid and you could feel bile rising in your throat.

Making it to the bathroom just in time, you quickly hurried towards a stall to throw up. Unaware someone had walked in. You slumped against the stall wall.

"Are you okay y/n?" It was mikasa.

"No" you replied.

"What happened?" She asked.

You didn't want to say it. You could feel vomit rising in your chest just thinking about it.

"I think I fucked eren"

-----

You lied on your bed that night with your fist balled between your cheek and your pillow as you tried to make sense of it all.

Did you really fuck eren? And if so, was what everyone was saying true?, did eren really put a collar on you? And choke you? Was it eren that had you bent over his bed like some kind of slut as he pulled your hair harshly.

Cringing, you rolled in your bed onto your back and started bouncing your foot under your soft blue blanket. You didn't want to be thinking of it. Truthfully, you just wanted to know if eren had told anyone else except his friends, but it made you sick to think about.

His room is just down the hall. You thought. Maybe you just go down there and face him, tell him to stop talking about it. The idea terrified you because you knew he was not going to listen to you.

Still in your red cotton pyjamas, you gathered the confidence to walk down to erens dorm. Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

It was eren who answered it. He stood leaning on the wall with his bare torso on display, and grey sweats slung low on his defined hips. It was all coming back to you now. You remembered seeing erens abs in that walk-in closet for the first time, and how not 20 minutes later, he had riding them, grinding on his abs like a slut.

"Are you gonna fucking speak or not?"

He was always so fucking rude. Such a prick for no reason.

"You know what I won't now. Just out of spite" you fake smiled.

"God help me, stupid fucking bitch. If you don't got nothing to say then get the fuck out of my face" he spat.

"Wait!" You hit the door as he went to close it. "I really do need to talk to you",

Eren sighed and closed the door behind him and stood out in the hallway with you. You at least appreciated he was listening, or something along those lines.

"Listen, I think we did some stuff last night at your party" you whispered

Eren snickered and scoffed at you. "You've gotta be taking the piss. I did not fuck you and your fucking four eyes"

Ouch.

"Would you stop being such a prick!" You exclaimed.

Eren grinned and yawned, stretching his strong arms in the air. ",sorry no can do"

You sighed. Eren lowered his arms from the air and crossed them over his tattooed chest. You spotted a butterfly, what looked like a matchstick on fire, some words, and then a patch on his pec that looked like torn skin with muscle underneath. You admired the tattoo artists' attention to detail.

"Listen I know we didn't fuck at that party. Because I would not fuck you if you were the last person on earth. And even then" he scoffed, not needing to say anything further.

"What the fuck is your problem? Did I fucking kill your parents or something? You sure do fucking act like it!" You pointed at him harshly.

"Watch your tone when you speak to me, yiu fucking bitch. Don' fuckin try and yell at me when you look like I could have you humping my fucking boot in seconds", he sneered at you as he reached for the door handle.

"Oh and one more thing, if you try and tell anyone that you think we fucked. I will make sure you fail the half yearly" he said nothing else before walking into his dorm.

He'd left you standing in the hallway absolutely shocked.

----

After your incident with Eren in the hallway, you decided to spend the rest of your day studying in the library. You wanted to focus on your history textbook, but why were erens words still ringing in your ears?

"If you try and tell anyone that you think we fucked, I will make sure you fail the half yearly"

Did it really matter that much to him? And if it did, why can't he just tell you instead of being an asshole? Although you wanted these answers, you decided that you too would also like to forget it happened.

As the afternoon grew later, all memory of the night with eren had disappeared past hours of history and English work. As you made your way down the main hallways, you saw a bunch of people all flock into the courtyard, which could only mean one thing.

You found mikasa in the crowd luckily. "What's going on?" You asked her.

But as you peered over a shorter boy in the crowd, it became clear what was going on. One guy was on top of eren, repeatedly punching him in the face. Blood splattered all over the grass, indicating the fight had been quite violent even before you showed up.

"What happened?" You asked her.

"I honestly don't know. One minute, eren was fine, and the next he was on the ground doing exactly this" mikasa explained.

"Shouldn't someone help him?" You questioned.

Mikasa scoffed. "Yeah, but are you gonna go in there?" She smirked at you like you were some kind of idiot.

And to be honest, you felt like one. Although eren had treated you horribly, something about seeing him on the ground almost helpless had sorta broken your heart.

"I don't wanna watch this" You said and walked away.

Leaving behind any thought of eren or the fight as you went back to your dorm for the night.

---

You had wanted to spend your night in your dorm sitting in bed with oreos and some kind of trash TV show for background noise, but as soon as you heard a knock at the door you knew it was all over.

You stood up and opened the door to reveal none other than eren fucking Jaeger himself. Without asking permission, he entered your room and immediately slumped down against your bed.

Closing the door, you quickly went to his side. For whatever reason. You tried to lift eren on to your bed but it was no use, he was 80 kilos of pure muscle, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Just fucking leave me alone" he shrugged you off, hissing in pain as he moved his shoulder.

"Your in my fucking room! At least tell me Why are you in here?" You asked him.

Eren slumped against your bed, almost passing out. His face was bruised and swollen with flecks of blood covering his cheeks, a stream of the crimson liquid slid down his face and another from his nose.

"Eren, let me help you," you said

"No. Fuck off" he groaned and shifted in his position.

You shook your head and tried to lift him again. "Please just cooperate for once", you begged.

Eren sighed, and with a short amount of breath and strength, he was on your bed leaning against your headboard. Eren huffed and groaned as you tried to make it as comfortable as you could with some pillows.

"A thank you would be nice," you told him with raised brows.

Eren sighed. "Ugh. Thank you. But I'm still not letting you touch my face. God knows where your hands have been" he made a face of disgust and then slowly his eyes started to close.

"No no no" You quickly tapped him, opening his eyes back up.

"Fuck off would you?! Jesus christ!" Eren pushed you off of him once again.

Straining his shoulder like that was not helping him at all. He knew that. But he would rather die than have you tend to his wounds like he was some kind of baby.

You sat up to face him. "I know you hate me. Believe me I hate you too. But if you don't let me help you, your going to spend the rest of your night in pain"

Your eyes were soft in comparison to his sharp, hardened ones. He scanned over your face, seeing you were genuine in your words.

"Ugh, fine. Fucking make it quick I don't have all night"

You should've punched him in the face for being such a prick, but he had definitely endured enough of that today. You reached under your bed for your first aid kit and brought it up infront of you.

"Do you seriously have a first aid kit under your bed?" Eren spoke almost out of pity.

"Of course I do." You grabbed out a cloth and some alcohol spray. "For idiots like you who don't know how to keep their mouths shut"

"Alright, yknow what? If your just gonna be a whiny and judgemental bitch about everything then I'll go to the fucking nurse"

Eren went to get up, but you grabbed his thigh. His head jerked in your direction.

"Please. Just stay. I'm sorry for being a bitch okay?"

Eren took a moment to look at you. His dark eyes were droopy and swollen, painted with small bruises. His gaze was hard on your face, making you feel like you were some kind of submissive object in his path.

"Fine", He lied back down on the bed.

"I need you to come closer to me eren"

Something in your tone sounded desperate. Chills ran up your body as you remembered the party. And lying in eren's bed, when he was choking you into the mattress while he drilled into you. You felt suddenly tense and shifted in your position.

"Why don't you fuckin come here?" He spat, sounding offended that you wanted him to come to you.

"Sit on my lap," he ordered.

Your lips parted slightly. After what you'd been remembering about the party, you felt uncomfortable to even be in the same room as him. You gave him awkward stares.

"But-" you stuttered.

"I don't fucking have time for this shit. Just fucking sit on my lap y/n jesus christ" he let out an exasperated sigh.

You knew you were ticking him off by being slow, so you did as you were told and climbed onto his lap to have better access to his bruised and battered face.

You were now inches apart from his face but close enough to feel his dick in his pants. Up Close eren was beautiful. Even more so than usual. His eyes gleamed a dark green, like poisoned emeralds. Under all the bruising and blood specks, you saw beauty. Dark, unfiltered, and unapologetic beauty that was eren through and through.

And if he hadn't been such a prick, you would've said now was the perfect time to kiss his peachy lips, decorated with a small cut, which was lightly grazed over with blood and swelling.

You leant back and grabbed the alcohol and cloth. "This is gonna hurt"

"Oh like I give a single fuck" he scoffed. "Just get it over with for fucks sake"

Cautiously, you pressed the soaked cloth to his blood-stained face. Even though you had already warned him beforehand that it was gonna hurt, it didn't stop him from reaching and grabbing your wrist tightly, letting out a painful hiss.

"Relax," you said softly as you started wiping the blood off with the cloth. "I told you it would hurt yaeger"

Eren's dark eyes stared up at you, not amused in the slightest. His grip on your wrist didn't die down as you kept wiping til there were only visible bruises on his face, on top of a few small cuts.

Something about it broke you.

"Listen," you said. "I know you hate me, and probably don't want my advice"

Eren huffed. ",at least your aware of that",

"But just take care of yourself, would you? I'm not gonna be able to do this again, eren"

The brunette stood up and reached for your door. Thinking he was just gonna leave, it surprised you to see that he didn't, instead he came and sat beside you.

He had something to say. You could tell. despite how little you knew eren, he looked like the kind to have no filter. You'd heard it, too. On multiple occasions.

"Do you want to know why I hate you?",

Straightforward to the point. Biting at your lips nervously, you considered if you really wanted to know why. You kinda liked that he hated you, because it meant his stupid ass would leave you alone.

But at the same.

You really did just have to know.

"Of course I do",

Suddenly, eren's soft expression changed into something pissed off. Like you had just told him, you murdered his whole family and strung them up. It was like a deep hatred that, if your honest, truly frightened you.

"Oh what the fuck am I doing?! You don't deserve to know!" He swiftly moved to the door.

"Your just some fucking bitch for gods sake. Your pathetic and childish!"

As he spat poison at your face, you found yourself frowning at the corners of your mouth.

",fucking pathetic, whiny bitch"

Eren took one last look at you and scoffed before slamming your door with a powerful swing. It made you jump out of your skin. You were terrified and frankly a little upset.

Confused at what the fuck had just happened, you messaged mikasa to come over.

"Can I put the ice cream in your fridge?", the black haired girl turnt to you.

You didn't know that asking mikasa to come over for a conversation entailed her bringing historia and pillows, and ice cream, and a speaker with a bunch of movies to watch.

A sleep over if you will.

"So!" She jumped onto your bed with a block of chocolate in her hand. "What did you wanna talk about? The party? The school lore? The writing on the bathroom walls?"

You chuckled. "School lore sounds interesting. But actually I wanted to ask you both about eren"

Historia choked on her juice. "Has he finally snapped?",

Mikasa nudged her shoulder as if to say shut up, side eyeing her.

"We were all kinda expecting this to happen actually", mikasa said matter of factly.

"Really?", you furrowed your brows.

"Yeah," mikasa swallowed the chocolate in her mouth. "It's kinda a long story"

"I'm willing to listen," you said instantly. Genuinely.

"Basically he doesn't really date anymore", historia said bluntly.

"But you said he's your ex boyfriend,", you turnt to mikasa.

"I know. But I really meant more like a friend's with benefits kinda thing. I wanted more, but it was hard for him to attach to the idea. He's been hurt really bad before by a lot of girls in the past"

Mikasa opened a tub of ice cream and gave you and historia spoons for the three of you to share. It felt like a distraction.

"And what happened with them?", you asked cautiously.

Something in you felt like this story was going to truly destroy you hearing it.

"The girls at this school are not really what they seem. Before he became like this, eren was truly the nicest guy you could ever meet. He used to get straight a's and smile. He was the life of the party without the party. But it changed once he started sleeping with different girls each night. We all thought he was just having a bit of fun, but we were so wrong"

You noticed mikasa was struggling to speak as a lump formed in her throat. "Hey, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to"

"No" mikasa interrupted you "I'm fine I can do it"

You nodded.

"Eren kinda drifted from us. He was distant and cold for a very long time as he started getting into heavy drinking and drugs. We used to find him on the verge of death most nights out in the courtyard. We all thought it was his own doing, but we couldn't have known how wrong we truly were"

Historia noticed how distraught mikasa was getting, handing her the ice cream. She took the lead in the storytelling. By now, your heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces, hearing about eren was horrible.

"He was being spiked. And when we confronted him about it, he just shut us off. We didn't hear from him for months. Hell, we barely even saw the guy. Anyways once he started realising what was happening, he came to us all begging for help, but he didn't want therapy or advice of any kind. He just wanted us to kill him"

You could've thrown up out of upset right then and there. Your heart no longer had a steady beat and instead bashed rapidly against your chest. You tried to take a deep breath, but nothing was coming out.

"Hey hey relax its okay" historia comforted you by holding your shoulder.

"It's a pretty rough story we know. But it's what you need to know about eren to understand him" mikasa spoke.

"Does he talk about it anymore?" You asked

"He tries not to," historia sipped her drink, "we all think he's passed it, but you can never be too sure"

For the rest of the night, you tried not to let the story bother you as the girls watched old rom com movies. But you couldn't forget how it made you feel hearing it. Eren was just down the hall, alone.

You knew because you had been keeping an ear out since he left your room. His door creaks slightly in a high-pitched tone. And since he left your room, you haven't heard the noise since.

You wanted to see him. You also knew he wasn't gonna care for how you were feeling, and he was likely going to push you away or punch you, or do literally anything to get rid of you.

Hell he might throw you off his balcony.

But you were not going to be sleep tonight without seeing him.

You snuck out of the bed, careful not to wake mikasa and historia who snored peacefully, as you walked out of your room and down the hall. Tiptoeing as quietly as you could, trying not to wake anyone.

Finally you reached erens room. Dorm 139.

You didn't want to knock. You wished he was just standing there already waiting for you. With the small amount of alcohol in your system, something in you tingled.

"Whoevers outside I can fucking hear you breathing"

Eren was coming. Fast. His footsteps were loud, too. He opened the door to meet your puffy and red, tear stained face. To you, your eyes could only focus on eren and how his towel hung low on his defined hips. You eyed his body, trailing from his sharp collarbones to his v-line, where part of you wished he would just take the towel off.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

You don't know what induced you to make the next move, but you did, and you slumped yourself onto eren, pushing him backwards as you hugged him tightly.

Completely frozen, eren stood there for a second before pushing you off.

"What the fuck are doing?!" He shoved you harshly away, causing you to stumble backwards almost falling.

"I-" you froze "I don't know, I'm sorry"

He slammed his door shut with his arm before standing with his arms crossed. "You wanna fuckin explain why your here?! Why your pathetic face is in my vicinity?"

"They told me everything" you said softly

Eren stood for a moment before he ran a hand down his face, letting out a pissed off groan. Clearly, he was hoping you weren't ever gonna find out.

"Well, are you happy now?" He flung his arms in the air.

"Eren..." You said barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry"

"Yeah, thanks a lot!" He stormed up his stairs. "Fucks sake!"

You heard his door slam. And for a second, you didn't know if you should follow him. But it was out of the question not to. You stood up and went upstairs, only to find all the doors, were closed.

So you had no idea where he had gone.

You tried each door, holding your ear to it, trying to listen for anything. A breath. A cry. Anything.

Little did you know eren was listening to your steps, silently laughing to himself as he heard you struggle to find where he was. He lifted his arm and unlocked the door, which caught your attention, immediately you hurried to the door and pushed it open.

"Eren?!" You exclaimed.

Looking down, you saw him sitting in his towel on his bed. The same bed he'd fucked you on at the party. The same bed he said he loved you, out of rotten drunk blindness of course, but you still thought of it.

He sat with his head in his hands. His hair in a wet half up ponytail.

"Eren" you kneeled infront of him, holding his forearms. "Eren look at me" you said softly.

Slowly, the brunette lowered his arms to reveal his red tinted face. A few stray tears ran down his cheeks.

"Does this make you happy to see?" His lips bent into a pained pout.

"No" you replied quickly.

"Why are you even here? Did you come to gloat? Or bask in my agony? Come to tell me that 'it's okay your not alone'?"

He did the last part in quotations with his fingers. Watching him, you could tell he hasn't received the love he wants. Although he had his friends who supported him, you felt that eren was just missing something they couldn't give him.

"Of course I didn't" you said

Eren eyed you. "I came to tell you that I'm sorry. And that I understand how difficult it is"

As his eyes lingered on you, suddenly his eyes started to swell with tears, and his head without warning fell into your body, landing in your lap. Eren began to sob. Not in anyways you had ever felt before.

It wasn't just a normal cry. Or a sob of agony. It was asking to take it all away. To take the pain away, and your heart broke for eren.

"I don't like being mean to people. I don't like hating people. " he kept talking as he sat up from your lap. "But do you know what it's like to constantly live terrified of everybody you meet? Afraid that one of them is going to try and sleep with you?"

You looked at the blankets. "I do not know what that's like. But I know what it's like to avoid people. I might not have any past trauma, but I just don't like people"

Eren and you chuckled lightly. And for once, it felt nice to be near eren. All the other times you'd met him, he was a prick and brooding, and he was always trying to fuck with you.

But in this moment, he wasn't.

Eren stood up and walked over to his bookcase, where he pulled out a small present box. You took the opportunity to admire the tattoo on his back very briefly before he came back.

"Here," He handed the box to you and sat back down.

It was heavy and wrapped in plain blue paper.

"Is this for me?" You asked

"No, it's for the fucking president" eren scoffed "of course it's for you, just fucking open it would you?"

Your fingers started pulling at the strings of the small white ribbon wrapped around the box before you started clawing at the paper.

instantly, your heart dropped.

'Bronte'

The book was a hard cover. Colored a dark green with gold detailing up the front and the along the spine. It was in pristine condition.

"eren..." You looked at him. "Did you get this for me?"

He leant back on his arms.

"I didn't get it per se, I'd kinda always had the book, but I overheard you say once that you'd lost your copy of it. So I saved mine for you",

You were speechless. Whatever words existed were gone in an instant from your lips. Thin tears lined your eyes as you come to a realisation.

He didn't even bother asking if you had actually found your copy of Bronte. He simply gave you his without a second thought or care to the world.

"I thought you hated me" you said.

Eren huffed out a laugh. "I do hate you. But I'm not a monster. I know what it's like to lose something precious"

"I don't know what to say. I mean, eren it's beautiful but do you really want me to have it?"

You placed the book behind you on the bed as eren stood up and walked to his dresser. You blushed and turned around.

"What are you doing?", He asked

"I thought you were getting dressed? I figured you'd want some privacy, " you replied.

Internally, eren made a mental note to remember to marry you right then and there.

"Right, thank you", He cleared his throat.

And as you heard the towel drop to the floor, something in you just wanted to turn around. It was like a force beyond your control, a whisper in the air.

But you had more self-control than that. And you weren't here to oogle at eren.

"So, did you want to give the book to me or not?" You kept your question from earlier.

"It wasn't exactly a yes or no"

You rolled your eyes at the cryptic answer he gave you.

"Now let me ask you a question", He said

Immediately a lump formed in your throat.

"Were you really there at the party that night?",

Although your back was turnt to him, you felt his emerald eyes digging and clawing at you. What were you going to say? Say yes and risk having him throw up and kick you out? Or say no and risk losing your chance to stay longer with him.

"I- yes, it was me. It was me when you came out from the closet and saw Connie in your mask, and it was me dancing with you, who replaced that other girl, and it was me you had bent over your bed. It was all me"

The air grew tense with each passing moment, and eren stayed quiet. You didn't know what he was thinking or even doing because you couldn't see him. Was he going to say that it was horrible sex? Or that he was ashamed that he was seen with someone who happened to be me?

"Plesse say something" you said softly "say anything",

"I knew it was you"

You could've imploded right then and there. Turning around swiftly, you came face to face with erens shirtless body leaning on the dresser with his arms crossed.

"You what?" Your mouth hung open

The brunette laughed to himself. "Of course I knew it was you, y/n, you're the only person at the school who would be stupid enough to come into my room. And also I knew it was you, because I saw instantly that when you came in, you didn't know where you were and everyone on campus knows what my bedroom looks like for multiple reasons"

He rubbed his tattooed hand over his face with a smirk. "I'm honestly shocked you thought I didn't know"

"So what about you threatening that you'll get me failed in the half yearly?"

Eren swallowed. "I admit it was a bit low. But I wanted to keep you safe, I thought that by threatening you, you wouldn't tell anyone. Therefore, none of the campus sorority girls would come for you. And believe me, they are fucking psychotic"

Trying to make sense of it all, you ran your fingers over the hem of your pyjama top. Avoiding erens eyes, how domineering they were, afraid you would ruin such a perfect moment with how badly you wanted to kiss him.

"Come here" you heard him say

It wasn't a request or an option. It was a command. Gentle and elegant as you were, you stood up and walked to him, immediately captivated by the smell of eren. A woody, citrusy scent enveloped your sinuses.

"Eren..." You said "if tonight is the last night we might ever be like this, like we are now, soft with each other...let me have you, once more",

You traced over his tattoos, your eyes catching the glints of silver on his face from his piercings. His sharp face held softer features than the cover shows. Eren's breath grew heavy as your arms glided up his biceps.

"I don't think I could ever not be like this with you again," he breathed against your lips as he lifted you around his waist.

Eren carried you to his bed, laying you down gently as he hovered his naked torso above you. His small silver chain dangled in front of your face almost teasingly. His green eyes caught yours in a daze.

"Tell me you want me" eren mumbled against your ear, leaning down into your nape.

"I want you eren," you answered him.

Your hands snaked around his body, feeling his sides and the muscles flexing in his back. His back rippled against your touch, suddenly making you feel like yoy had more power here than you thought.

Eren sat up and danced his fingers around the waistband of your pyjama shorts. "Are you okay with this?" He looked at you.

"More than okay" you nodded.

Eren tapped your hips, signalling you to lift them as he took off your shorts, throwing them somewhere on his floor. Eren's tattooed fingers traced over your skin, giving you goosebumps.

"Don't be a tease", you pouted.

Eren chuckled. His eyes dark with something wicked, glaring at you. Eren pushed his body back onto yours. You felt his weight sink you into the mattress, and you liked it.

"Can I taste you?" He spoke against your lips.

"I want to kiss you." Your soft eyes looked up at him.

"You only want a kiss from me?" He tilted his head.

He danced his fingers down your body. "Of course I want other things, but, please just kiss me", you pleaded with him.

Eren nodded and leant down to you, connecting his lips to yours. You wrapped his hands around his neck, pulling him into you as your mouths moulded together desperately. He tasted like mint gum, the flavour burnt your tongue with a tangy minty air but you were addicted to it.

Once eren pulled away, his lips were pink and swollen. "Thank you" he said

"For what?" You furrowed your brows and tilted your head.

"For wanting to kiss me first"

You stared into eren's eyes, admiring the crystalline green that gleamed back at you. You brought your hand to his face, and eren bathed in the touch of your skin on his. You were warm and sweet to feel.

"I think I'd happily kiss you a thousand times eren" you said softly

"God, I love my name on your tongue," his lips curved.

For a brief moment, all you wanted to do was to feel eren's fingers, hands, anything, and you wanted him to feel you everywhere. But as soon as he sat up again, his abs and biceps flexed as he retied his hair, all you could focus on was pleasing him.

Eren hummed in amusement, bringing his hand to the back of your head, forcing you closer to his bare chest. You hated how much you loved being near eren. Even though he was a prick, an asshole, a brooding, moody asshole, you couldn't deny something had always attracted you to him, even from the moment you first met, something about eren was captivating.

"Can I say something first before we go any further?" You sat up from eren's chest.

He nodded. "Of course"

You didn't really know how this was gonna go. You hoped it would end exactly how you wanted it to.

"I- I think I kinda like you eren, and if it's okay with you, I'd really like to be the girl that makes you believe in love again"

Eren was silent with parted lips and wide eyes.

"I know it may not be easy to trust again, and I'm okay if it takes a while for you to warm up to me. I wanna be here for you. If you'd let me, if you'll have me"

Eren nodded rapidly and pulled you close to him, pulling you onto his lap before planting his lips firmly on yours. Eren slipped his tongue in your mouth, giving breathy moans as his hands found your hips and squeezed them roughly, passionately.

You felt like you were floating. Even if eren was a cloud full of rain, you loved the rain. Being close to him felt like dreaming. This was the man you hated. Used to hate. You might even still hate him if you were honest.

But you hated, not him, but how easy it was to fall for him without a single care to the world.

"God yes. Goddamnit I'll have you every day until I die. That's a promise. Fuck ill pay for everything you want in life and bring your flowers every day, hell I'll happily give you fucking baby. Yes, absolutely yes.",

----

THIS TOOK A LONG TIME BUT IM SO PEOUD OF IT.

#aot #attack on titan #aot smut #attack on titan fic #eren jaeger #eren smut #eren yaeger smut #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #reiner braun #armin arlert #historia #aot fic #eren x reader

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pyschedtrickster · 6 months ago

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TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc kaufmo #tadc gangle #tadc pomni #tadc fandom #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc bubble #tadc caine #tadc episode 2 #digital circus #tadc ep 2 #episode 2 #new episode #gummigoo #tadc gummigoo

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malarign · 2 years ago

Text

told you so

(when you go on a date with your enemy, and he advises you against it)

synopsis: Being a target of taunting from your enemy was your daily struggle, and when you seemed to get used to it, all of your worries disappeared when you met your new friend. but what if old feelings still didn’t pass?

contains: bff!Heeseung x fem!reader | genre: angst with a fluffy ending (requested), high school au, college au, friends to lovers | tw! mentions of food, bullying, swearing, arguing, crying, kissing and touching without consent, mentions and attempt of assault, please read at your own discretion! y/n being oblivious and delusional, basically he fell first and harder 🤩 | wc: 7,4k

author’s note: while writing this i didn’t have any specific Jisung in mind, this name just popped into my head 😬 also this was originally written to be a mini series but it didn't get much attention so i’m reposting it as a one shot :)) enjoy!

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!

original taglist: @nicholasluvbot, @simpforsunwoo, @sweetjaemss

Morning, Wednesday, 9th January 2019

You watched as Jisung and his friends emptied your school bag and all your books, notebooks, documents and other personal stuff fall on the wooden floor. All of them laughed while exchanging mean looks. Jisung came up to you, lowered his head to the level of your eyes, and smiled viciously.

“You better hurry, Y/n. I don’t think you want to be late for math class, right?” he asked sarcastically and ruffled your hair.

Trying to keep calm you watched as he wandered off to the class with the rest of the boys he hangs out with. You looked at all the things he threw on the floor and sighed. He never seemed to let you breathe peacefully and lavished you with his nasty comments. Both of you used to be great friends back in middle school, but then he got into a pretty bad environment and became your worst nightmare. Every class you had with him was hours of suffering. You often thought about old times, wondering if there was a way to prevent this.

Crouching down to pick your stuff up you heard how the sound of steps behind you echoed in an empty hallway. You turned your head around to see who was coming. You tried really hard to recognize his face, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him.

“Hi,” he said. His lips slightly parted as he watched your belongings on the floor. “Let me help you.”

He crouched next to you and helped you gather your books and notebooks as you collected smaller items. He neatly put them into your bag and helped you stand up from a not-really-comfortable position.

“Thank you, I really appreciate your help.” You smiled and once more scanned his face to be sure you’d ever seen him.

“I’m Heeseung by the way. I’m new here,” he spoke as he offered his hand to greet you.

“Oh, I was wondering why I couldn’t recognize you.” You smiled sheepishly. “My name’s Y/n.”

Noon, Friday, 17th May 2019

You and Heeseung clicked almost immediately. Both of you had similar hobbies and musical tastes. Since your favorite subjects were his problem and vice versa you helped each other with homework and exam preparations, usually in the calm setting of your local library. He didn’t have problems settling into a new environment. Quite quickly he made a group of friends, bugging you to tag along every time they went out somewhere. His talent for basketball also didn’t slip by the team's coach, who didn’t waste time to make him join training.

Heeseung never failed to bring a smile to your face with his quick-witted jokes and interesting stories about his life before he moved to your city. Being with him healed you in every possible way, making thoughts of Jisung almost completely forgotten. After seeing you spend your breaks with Heeseung made him stop approaching you for some reason. Sometimes when you were alone, because he had to get something done or had different classes made you anxious. You knew that whenever he was next to you, Jisung wouldn’t do anything bad.

The bell rang announcing a long-awaited lunch break. You packed your stuff and looked at Heeseung. You opened your mouth to ask the usual question about your table, but he spoke faster.

“Coach said he needs me for a second, I’m pretty sure it won’t take long. I’ll join you as soon as I’m done, okay?” He didn’t let you say anything and just dashed away after gently patting your shoulder.

You stood there watching as he disappeared behind a corner and let out a shaky sigh. That was the first time you were going to eat lunch alone ever since you met him in March. You even considered waiting for him, just to not have to sit there alone. Then a sudden wave of confidence rushed through your body, thinking “What can go wrong? He said it’s not gonna take long.”

You made your way to the school cafeteria, looking at every student that passed by, praying none of them would belong to Jisung.

After you took your tray with a full meal you sat down at your usual table and watched the entry, nervously waiting for a familiar, friendly silhouette. What you saw was far away from that. You saw Jisung and his friend enter the cafeteria. He noticed you right away. His face showed anger, eyes sharp and fierce. His look made you quiver slightly, unable to look anywhere else. He took his tray and sat at the table behind you. You could hear every bite he took on his apple, loud cracks piercing your ears. You started to count second, wishing Heeseung would come back quickly.

Time passed and you still were sitting alone at the table. Some students finished eating while your tray was still full of food. As much as you tried eating you couldn’t muster up the energy to raise a fork to your mouth.

“Where the hell is he? What is taking him so long? He said he’ll join me.” Your thoughts were disrupted by a fine figure of a man hovering over your form. He leaned into you, his breath brushing your ear.

“Long time no see, Y/n.” His malicious tone sent shivers down your spine, and you could feel tears ready to spill out of fear. “You thought I was done with you just because you started hanging out with that asshole?” He said as he brushed away the strand of your hair. He leaned even closer to you and whispered straight to your ear: “You know I will never back off.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

You noticed Heeseung standing in front of your table.

Jisung came up to Heeseung and asked: “Or what, asshole? What you’re gonna do?” He suddenly collared him and shook his form. His actions were stopped when a loud voice echoed in the cafeteria.

“Choi Jisung!” Heeseung’s coach screamed, his voice in a humbling manner. Jisung let go of Heeseung still maintaining eye contact with him.

“I guess I don’t have to do anything in particular.” Heeseung smiled at him snidely and watched as he made his way out of the cafeteria. He then shifted his look at you who was still slightly trembling at an unexpected and not really pleasant encounter with one of your classmates.

His eyes softened looking at your form, his heart breaking from the regret of not coming to you sooner. He hesitated whether what he should do and finally rubbed your back with his palm in a comforting move. He felt as if you loosened up under his touch. Seeing you calm down he sat down next to you and tried to shift your attention from a bad experience with Jisung.

“You should eat, Y/n. I’m sure it’ll help.” He took a glance at your tray. “I know how you love that pudding,” he spoke and placed the box right in front of you making you smile.

Afternoon, Friday, 17th May 2019

“Y/n can we talk about today?” Heeseung asked. You were laying in his bed, surrounded by notes from your biology class.

You looked at him. His eyes were serious but soft at the same time. You felt bad that you didn’t tell him about your bumpy relationship with Jisung, mostly because you thought the problem solved itself when you met him. But today’s events successfully proved you wrong.

“About what?” You played for time.

“About Jisung and what happened in the cafeteria.” He got straight to the point. He moved his chair to be right in front of you. “Why didn’t you tell me he bullies you?”

“Because he doesn’t,” you simply stated shifting your gaze back to your notes. Somehow word ‘bully’ made your ego ache. You weren’t bullied, at least that’s what you said to yourself.

“Well his action said something else,” he firmly said making you snap.

“What do you know, Heeseung? You don’t know him at all, yet you’re accusing him of bullying.”

Your response took him aback. “Y/n you were literally trembling at his touch and the sound of his voice. Fuck it, you were almost crying!”

“No, I wasn’t!”

“Y/n don’t act like I’m blind. Besides, I know you well.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you said and rapidly got up, gathering your notes into your bag and storming out of his room. Heeseung watched your irrational actions in utter shock. Why were you so offended? Even you didn’t know why you overreacted like that. Maybe it was because of your past friendship with Jisung? Maybe you still believed he would change for the better, and you would happily be friends like you used to be? Or maybe you would be more than friends like you always dreamt?

You walked downstairs and hurriedly started to put on your shoes. Just when you were about to go out you heard your friend’s mom.

“Y/n? You’re leaving so early?” She asked. “I’m preparing your favorite, kimchi fried rice.” She smiled warmly.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Lee, but I need to go early today.” You felt bad lying to her, she always treated you like a daughter making sure you were never hungry whenever you hung with Heeseung. “Have a great evening!” You quickly said closing the front door behind you.

Even though it was the middle of May, the weather was rather chilly. You still had your school uniform on, your short skirt not warming you up enough.

“Y/n!” You heard Heeseung’s voice behind you. Hesitating if you should stop or run straight to your house you finally stopped your tracks. Even if you ran he would easily catch up.

You turned around and soon, Heeseung stopped in front of you, breathing heavily from his jog. You let him catch a breath and didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you mad.”

You thought for a while, you really wanted to stay mad at him for a while, but as hard as you tried, you just couldn’t. You lowered your gaze and replied: “It’s okay. I know you meant well. But you don’t need to worry about me.” You assured.

Your answer didn’t seem to satisfy him, but he remained silent. He opened his arms, offering a conciliatory hug, which you gladly accepted.

“I should go home now,” you announced, still in his embrace.

“Can I walk you home?” he asked, knowing your answer.

“I think I would rather go by myself today. Thanks though.” You slowly pulled out from his arms and waved your hand in goodbye.

Heeseung watched you walk for a while. He couldn’t stop thinking about everything you said. Your words clenched his heart, almost making him tear up. He knew one thing: he definitely will worry about you, and won’t let this happen ever again.

Evening, Saturday, 1st June 2019

“Y/n! Heeseung is already here!” Your mom shouted from downstairs as you did the final touches to your hairstyle.

“I’m coming!” you shouted and hurriedly took your purse. Skipping your way to the hallway you saw Heeseung with a small bouquet in his hands as he talked with your mom with a warm smile. She noticed your presence first.

“Y/n come here quickly.” She gestured for you to stand next to Heeseung. “Let’s take a photo. Make a pose.”

Both of you tried different poses for the photo, from the normal ones to your usual, funny ones. After a short photo shoot, you made your way to Heeseung’s car and drove to have fun at prom.

You arrived at school quite late, as other students were already dancing in the hall. You were about to get out of his car when he stopped you with a soft hand motion. You were slightly confused but all the concern disappeared when you saw his jog around the car to your side. He opened the door gallantly and offered his hand.

“Wow, so chivalry is really not dead, huh?” you remarked and smiled at him while getting out.

“Y/n, I’m afraid you forgot who I am.” He placed his hand on his heart with an injured look on his face.

“Lee Heeseung, I envy your future girlfriend, whoever she is,” you said and made your way toward the other students.

Heeseung watched as you go with dreamy eyes and a moony smile. He couldn’t stop thinking about how gorgeous you looked tonight ever since he laid his eyes on you at your house. And not only today, the day he met you he never thought you’ll get so close and make him fall not only for your looks but charming personality, versatile knowledge, and full of empathy heart. “Hopefully you won’t have to envy her,” he thought to himself planning on confessing his feelings for you today.

When you entered the hall, your ears were pierced by loud music and the stumping of hundreds of feet. Parties like those weren’t your cup of tea, but it being prom convinced you to try having fun along with your classmates. Besides, being aware that you’re not going to be there by yourself helped you harness your train of thought. It wasn’t the first party you attended with Heeseung, but it was definitely the biggest of them all, and most importantly it wasn’t just a house party.

“Shall we?” You heard your friend’s voice and smiled. You danced all night next to each other, jumping and showing off your moves with occasional breaks to drink something or just take a breath.

Both of you sat down on a bench and watched as your classmates were also getting pretty tired. You looked at the clock which showed 10 pm. Four hours of dancing with Heeseung passed in a blink of an eye. You were about to ask him when they plan on leaving when the DJ announced a slow song. Just when you were about to stand up and freshen up in the bathroom none other than Heeseung showed in front of you, his figure towering over yours.

“May I have this dance?” He smiled but his tone wasn’t playful, but serious. Almost too serious.

You simply nodded your head in response and let him guide you to the middle of the dance floor. He took one of your hands into his and placed the other one on your waist, pulling you a little bit closer to him, to the point you felt how his breath fell on your nose. You never were in that close proximity to him, apart from that one hug after your quarrel, but none of you felt awkward at all. The feeling of his hands on your body made you feel safe and at ease, contrary to what you experienced throughout the past few years of high school.

Heeseung looked at you with full adoration in his eyes as you struggled to dance with him, occasionally stepping on his foot.

“Sorry, I had never danced like this,” you confessed sheepishly.

“Don’t worry. Just follow my lead, Y/n,” he murmured in a low voice, sending shivers down your spine. You did as he said, focusing on making the correct steps. Heeseung pulled you even closer, making you both sway in an intimate hug. Hug too intimate for friends. You noticed how his face slowly came closer to yours, and when your foreheads almost touched suddenly both of you landed on a cold, wooden floor. You took a look around and noticed how the other pair fell on the ground, the boy frantically apologizing to you and Heeseung for pushing you. You saw how his jaw clenched and eyes sharpened.

“Well, you should be more careful,” he snapped.

“Heeseung, it’s okay.” Your voice made his face soften and shift his now calm gaze to you. He helped you get up and fix hair that loosened because of the impact. While he was busy fixing your hairclips you noticed a pair of eyes watching you like a hawk. His gaze wasn’t sharp and aggressive like in the cafeteria two weeks ago. It was rather interested and invested. He watched you calmly but your heart started its usual race at the sight of his eyes on your form.

“Are you okay?” Heeseung asked worriedly, noticing your distant gaze.

“Yes,” you answered shortly and quickly. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Do you want to dance some more or sit down? It must’ve hurt,” he spoke, referring to your fall.

“Actually, can you drive me home?” you asked hurriedly. You didn’t want the situation in the cafeteria to happen again. And knowing Heeseung you knew it was very probable.

His expression dropped at your words, pursing his lips he nodded and lead your way to his car.

Contrary to the ride to the prom, this way was way quieter. None of you dared to speak. One because of regret and the other because of anxiousness. You looked at the trees that you passed by and how almost all windows were dark. You recognized your neighborhood and prepared to get out of his car when his voice stopped you.

“Y/n?”

You looked at him, your face painting a question, asking him to continue.

He debated for a while. “It’s this moment. Now or never,” he thought to himself.

“I had so much fun with you today, Y/n,” he simply stated, hesitation winning over his will to finally confess.

“Thank you, I also had so much fun.” You smiled and bid your goodbyes, leaving him in his car alone with his thoughts.

“Will you ever realize?”

Afternoon, Tuesday, 18th October 2022

The faint sound of keyboards’ clicking and soft whispers between students, accompanied by rustling scribbling on paper always helped you study. The whole atmosphere helped you compose yourself after long days of school and now college. Getting onto the major of your dreams wasn’t easy, but thanks to your investment in finals preparations and the help of your friends, you succeeded. Not only you studied what you’d always wanted, but you also weren’t as lonely as you were in high school. Because of similar interests, you quickly got in with them, spending breaks in each other’s company and having occasional sleepovers and other friendly hangouts. Thanks to them, accustoming to college life wasn’t as harsh and hard as you expected it to be.

Many things changed since you graduated from high school, apart from one thing - your usual friendly study dates with Heeseung were still a tradition none of you dared nor wanted to break. One would think that studying different subjects would break your friendship, but it only tightened the bond you had.

Heeseung reached for his backpack and took out a small box filled with white and red grapes. He placed it between you two so that you also could grab some. Seeing that you also took out your lunch box with walnuts and cashew nuts. You poured them into his box, knowing how he liked mixed flavors of grapes and nuts. He noticed that and immediately smiled in your direction, whispering a faint but still audible “Thank you”. You returned the smile and focused on your notes once again.

On the other hand, as much as he tried to, Heeseung couldn’t. His mind was flooded and confused about his own feelings for you, which only grew stronger as time passed. Ever since he tried confessing and getting closer to you during prom he didn’t dare to try again. The panic he saw in your eyes spoke for themselves. Fear of losing you overwhelmed his heart, he knew he wouldn’t be able to endure that. That’s why he tried ignoring all the love he had for you, usually failing miserably.

“What are your plans for the weekend?” you asked quietly, trying not to disturb other people around you.

Heeseung got back to his senses and thought for a second. “I have a basketball match at 6 on Saturday,” he replied, raising his one eyebrow. “You forgot?” he asked but it sounded more like a statement, not a question.

You pursed your lips together and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“No worries. Are you still planning to come?” He closed his book and turned around to face you directly.

“Of course!” you exclaimed in a whisper. “I never missed any of your matches and I’m not planning to change that. I like seeing you win,” you added, not knowing you caused his heart to flutter and a swarm of butterflies to fill his stomach.

“What if I don’t win?” he asked, unable to control a bright smile.

“I think we both don’t believe it will ever happen,” you remarked and a few people shushed you, annoyed by your too loud for a library conversation. Heeseung and you mumbled quiet apologies and returned to your books, trying to keep yourselves from laughing.

You called the study session off a little bit an hour later.

“You sure you don’t need a walk home?” he asked for a millionth time today.

“Hee, I’m sure. Besides don’t you have a training today? You better not be late again,” you scolded him and he raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.

“Okay, but text me as soon as you get home.” He pointed at you and squinted a bit.

“I will, bye!” you assured him and waved at him.

Deciding to take advantage of the last warm days, you took a longer route home. You passed by many places you used to go to while you were still a high school student. Cafes you used to study in with Heeseung whenever there were too many people in the library, a park where both of you ate lunches during hot summer days, a basketball court where he taught you how to play and gave you tips on how to make a score. It made you realize that apart from memories with Heeseung you can’t reminisce about other ones, as if you knew him your whole life. You stopped by the cafe you studied in together for the first time, and remembered how awkward you were with each other back then. You smiled at the memory of the very much begging of your friendship. Now that same cafe was filled with couples, taking photos together or of each other and sharing sweet desserts. The sight of love made you question if your future partner is going to like Heeseung. But the thought of anybody not liking him seemed impossible for you.

You continued walking when you saw a familiar figure approaching you. A figure you didn’t expect to meet.

“Hi Y/n! It’s me, Jisung!”

Evening, Tuesday, 18th October 2022

“It’s been a while, I almost didn’t recognize you,” Jisung said in a friendly tone. You also almost didn’t recognize him. He wore the complete opposite attire to his usual pair of jeans and collection of plain T-shirts, now wearing a suit with elegant shoes.

“Yeah, me too,” you spoke and a sheepish smile with a hint of disbelief crept on your face.

“How have you been? I haven’t seen you in like ages!” Jisung kept on smiling and tilting his head to the right, an old habit of his.

“Jisung what do you want?” you asked quickly, scared of his reaction.

Seeing your expression he sighed and spoke: “Y/n, listen. I’m really sorry. For everything I’ve done. I treated you badly, and I regret it with my whole heart.” He placed his hand on the left side of his chest. “What I did was wrong and I want to sincerely apologize to you. I’m so sorry.” His words seemed to be genuine and truthful to you.

“It was a long time ago, it’s okay, Jisung.” You shrugged and smiled softly.

“It’s not really okay, unless you let me redeem myself. let me take you out,” he said nonchalantly.

“Oh?”

“Do you have plans on Saturday? There’s a new restaurant that opened a while ago, what do you think?”

Thinking for a while you slowly nodded. Your movement made a strand of your hair fall from behind your ear and he was quick to fix it, making you blush.

“Great. It’s a date then. I’ll come and pick you up at 7,” he announced and said his goodbye, leaving you dumbfounded.

You felt like your chest gets tighter and your stomach fills with butterflies. You turned around to look at him once more but he was already gone. Just when you thought you finally forgot about him and your feelings for him, that somehow buried themselves in the depth of your heart, all you could think about was him once again. The way he looked at you, the way he smiled at you, the way the slightest touch of his fingers brushing fragile skin on your cheek, it all made you feel like on shaky ground.

Then it hit you. You’re going on a date. Your first ever date. You almost let a squeal leave your lips, but stopped it on time by covering them with the palm of your hand. Excitement rushed through your body and you hurriedly headed home.

When you arrived home and were done letting out all excitement and thrill of your body by jumping all over your place, you took the phone out of your bag. You noticed a few missed calls, all from Heeseung. You remembered how you promised to text him when you arrive home, and now he must’ve finished his practice.

You dialed his number and didn’t have to wait for too long for him to answer.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” he asked worriedly.

“Yes, oh my god, Hee! Everything is great!” you couldn’t contain your happiness and wanted to share the news with him.

“Woah, woah, what’s that excitement about?” he asked and laughed at your crazy behavior.

“Hee, I’m going on a date!”

For a while your painful silence submerged the call, the only sound was soft breathing on the other side of the line.

“Heeseung? Are you okay?” you asked.

“Yes, yes, uhm, I’m okay,” he choked out.

“Well, then aren’t you gonna congratulate me?”

“Y/n, I’m very happy for you, but do I know this guy? You‘ve never told me about him.” His voice was rather cold in contrary to his words.

“You know him! It’s Jisung, from our high school.”

“What?” Heeseung couldn’t believe his ears. “Choi Jisung? The one who bullied you?”

“You’re at it again? He didn’t bully me Heeseung! He used to be my friend. Besides, why would you know what type of relationship we had?” You were mad. He never had an opportunity to truly get to know him, yet he was talking badly about him. This made your blood boil, because you knew him, and he certainly wasn’t as bad as Heeseung painted him.

You thought you truly knew Jisung. And you did to some point in your lives, now living on the deluded picture of him made by your imagination.

“Y/n, he treated you horribly! You were scared of him, don’t tell me otherwise, 'cause your reaction said otherwise.” His voice was harsh, sounding like he was scolding you.

“He changed! He apologized to me. He knows what he did was wrong!” you exclaimed, now even more mad than before.

“Y/n people like him don’t change. And even if he did, he shouldn’t be forgiven and given any more chances. Especially by you.”

“Let me decide on that. Fuck you, Heeseung,” you said and ended the call. You threw it on your bed and went to the bathroom to take a long shower, in hopes it would help you calm down.

Your words rang in Heeseung’s head for a long time. He froze, the phone still near his ear as if he was hoping you would say you didn’t mean that. But as minutes passed he realized you certainly did mean your words, and that they were meant to hurt him. He sat on the ground and slumped against a wall. Feeling his eyes sting as they brimmed with hot tears, Heeseung quickly wiped them off before completely breaking down. He stood up after a while and reached into a drawer for his car keys, ready for a night drive.

Afternoon, Saturday, 22nd October 2022

You stood in front of your wardrobe wondering how you should dress for your date with Jisung. You tried hard to think of anything that would suit the vibe and atmosphere of a fancy restaurant you’re going to, but your mind was flooded with thoughts of Heeseung. It was the longest you went without contacting each other, but your ego didn’t let you reach out to him. He should be happy for you, for his friend. After you would be happy for him if he told you he was going to have a date. Right?

After what seemed like ages of wondering about your outfit you contacted one of your classmates, Jennifer.

“Jen, do you have a second you could spare me? you asked as soon as your friend picked up the phone.

“Y/nie, my love, for you I always have time. What’s wrong?” she spoke and brought a long-lost smile to your face.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you but I remember how stressed you were with your presentation, but…” you started, feeling guilty for not telling her sooner.

“Oh my god, what is it? You’re scaring me!” she raised her voice dramatically.

“Well, I’m going on a date and I don’t know what to wear. I still have lots of time left but I’m getting a little bit nervous,” you confessed.

“Oh my! Finally, I’m so happy for you, bestie!” You heard her clapping her hands excitedly. “How about me coming over and rummaging through your clothes?”

“That would be great, but Jen you don’t have to!”

On the other side of the line, you heard the jingling sound of her car keys.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, plus you need to tell me how that happened, so don’t try to stop me now!” she said, and soon after you hung up.

While you were waiting you sat on your bed, thinking of possible scenarios of today’s date. Will it look like it does in movies? Will it end up only on this one date or will there be more?

Suddenly, the silence of your room got disturbed by the sound of a notification. You took your phone and read a reminder: “♡ Heeseung’s match 6pm ♡”. This made you bite your lips, guilty of not keeping your promise. Sure, you were mad at him, but he is still your best friend. “I never missed any of your matches and I’m not planning to change that,” you remembered your words from a few days ago. You placed your elbows on your thighs and hid your face in your hands. Just when you were about to let out your emotions you heard knocking on your front door. You opened them and they revealed a smiling Jennifer.

“Let’s get to the work, shall we?”

Thanks to Jennifer, picking your outfit was filled with laughter and her anecdotes. This helped you deal with the anxiety caused by your upcoming date, but also, more importantly, stop yourself from thinking about Heeseung. Before you knew it, the outfit was ready, along with a bag, some accessories, and shoes. You still had some time before 7 PM, so you sat in your room and chatted for a while, enjoying each other’s presence after days of different schedules.

“Okay, but most importantly, how did he ask you out?” She waited for your answer with anticipation and excitement.

“I mean we met when I was having a walk in the neighborhood and he just asked me.” You shrugged but your cheeks filled with red tint.

“Oh my god!” Jennifer exclaimed, emphasizing the last word. “I thought he will never ask you out, at this rate. But finally, my prayers were listened to!” She raised her hands in the air, while you were, to say the least, confused and dumbfounded.

“What do you mean? Who are you talking about?” you asked.

Your friend’s smile faded and she lowered her hands. “About your friend, that Heeseung guy. Is he not the one that asked you out?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“So it’s not Heeseung you’re going out with?” You shook your head and noticed how disappointment filled her eyes.

“Oh come on, Jen. You’re not happy for me anymore?”

“I am!” she defended herself. “It’s just… Both of you already seemed like a couple or like you at least like each other. You always say he’s like an angel, that you can’t imagine your life without him, so I kinda just assumed you liked him. Plus the way he looks at you speaks for itself better than your constant love confessions.”

Love?

Evening, Saturday 22nd October 2023

The gymnasium hall was filled with loud cheers coming from both bleachers. Players were practicing shots and warming up before the first match of the season. Heeseung was one of them, yet the ace known for excellent aim failed to score almost anything. He kept on looking for you in your usual place where you cheered for him along with your friends. But that one spot was empty, soon to be occupied by some unknown to him student. He tried to push the thoughts of you away, but as much as he tried the more he failed. None of the players or the coach had ever seen this part of him.

The match barely started, yet your university’s team was failing like never. Mainly because something apparently preoccupied the mind of the captain of the team. This made a coach come to a decision of seating him on a bench, for the first time during his player days.

You waited patiently on the couch, ready to go out. The clock showed half past seven, which made you worried, if he will even come. What if he got into an accident? What if something bad happened to him. You anxiously were looking at your phone, waiting for some message from Jisung. You were about to call him when your phone screen lightens up, showing his caller ID. You answered almost immediately.

“Hello?”

“Y/n! I’m so sorry for being late, but I’m already near your place so you can already come out,” he said and you could hear the sound of the engine’s drone.

“No worries, take your time,” you reassured him but noticed that the call already ended.

You locked the door behind you and made your way to the elevator.

You spotted his car from afar and waved at him. Your heart almost sprung out of your chest and felt how your throat tightens at every breath you took. You got in and greeted him shyly.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he said, and before you could realize he left a quick and harsh kiss on your lips, leaving you shocked. Jisung on the other side smiled to himself and started the car.

“I thought we could go somewhere where we could be alone before eating, what do you say?” he asked placing his hand on your inner thigh, making you, to say at least, extremely uncomfortable.

You tried taking his hand off your body, but he only gripped your wrist tightly making you hiss. “Oh, Y/n. Don’t act so innocent.” He stopped at the side of the road. Looking around you couldn’t spot a single living soul around you nor any car passing by. “But I can assure you I’ll fuck you better than him,” he said bluntly and started unbuckling his belt.

Not really knowing what to do you slapped him across his face and hurriedly got out o his car. You ran as fast as you can, with stamina better than usual, due to a high level of adrenaline in your body. You thought of the place you should go to. He knew where you lived so your place wouldn’t work. Jennifer’s apartment on the other hand was far away from where you were. The only place that was near enough was Heeseung’s apartment. Looking at the time you thought he must already be home. You turned around once more to see if he was following you. Not thinking twice you continued running, still shocked not knowing what exactly happened.

The first thing Heeseung did after arriving home from his first-ever lost match was take a cold shower. He let the icy water cascade down his body while still thinking about you. What if he did something bad to you during your date? He knew Jisung was up to no good, yet he let you go out with him. He stepped out of the cabin and hurriedly dressed himself into comfortable clothes.

Where should he search for you? he should’ve at least asked you where you were going and now he had an entire city to rummage. Not bothering to dry his hair he grabbed his keys and opened the door only to see you, completely breathless, on the edge of crying at his sight.

Night, Saturday, 22nd October 2023

You stared at your reflection in a mirror, under the bright light of Heeseung’s bathroom. None of you dared to speak, both allowing you to catch your breath, collect thoughts and speak whenever you’re ready. He just let you in and gave you his T-shirt and pair of shorts you always wore whenever you paid him an unexpected visit and wanted to get changed into something more comfortable.

Heeseung decided to prepare a quick meal for you and took your favorite snacks he stored in his kitchen, just in case. Your state worried him to the point he didn’t know what to do. He knew one thing though. Jisung wanted to hurt you, and either he succeeded or his attempt stayed as an attempt. He waited patiently for you, giving you all the time you needed, and thought of all the possible scenarios and how he could comfort you.

You finally decided to leave the bathroom and took a seat next to him on the couch. For a while, the silence filled the room with hesitation and uncertainty.

“Do you wanna talk or eat first?” he asked, trying to sound as gentle as he could.

“Eat,” you simply whispered, voice cracking on the way.

Heeseung looked up at you. You hugged your knees, eyes mentally checked out. He raised his hand to rub your shoulder but stopped himself midway, instead he just nodded and stood up to hand you your bowl. You quietly thanked him and took a bite of still hot noodles he had prepared. Silence once again submerged the room, the only audible sound was an occasional noodle slurp.

Once you finished and placed a bowl on the table sudden realisation hit you. You were assaulted. Jisung wanted to hurt you and he certainly didn’t change. And that Heeseung was right. Your eyes brimmed with tears.

Your expression told him everything he needed to know. Guilt crept over him and all h could think was if it could be prevented. If only his pride and ego didn’t blind him if only he wouldn’t let his emotions stop him. But now it was too late. You, the person he loved dearly was hurt, making him feel helpless.

Before he could think how can he comfort you, you were already in his arms. You cried your heart out on his shoulder as he just closed you in his warm and secure embrace, wanting to bring home to you, in such a crisis you were in.

“Hee, you were right!” you cried, choking on each word. “I should’ve listened to you, it’s all my fault!”

Heeseung pulled out t your words and cupped your cheeks in his palms. His eyes were full of compassion and regret, accentuated by tears that threatened to fall down his face. “No Y/n. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve this. I am here to listen and help you.”

His words felt like a soft Sunbeams that hit your skin after days of constant rain. You felt like your tensed body slowly relaxes at his touch and words as he spoke. Realizing how lucky you got, to have a friend like him you smiled as tears still blurred your vision. Nonetheless, you still noticed how he also smiled at you, eyes expressing nothing but pure love and will to protect you from everything.

“Plus the way he looks at you speaks for itself better than your constant love confessions,” you recalled Jennifer’s words now replaying all the memories you made with him during those almost 4 years of friendship.

How he never hesitated to help you whenever he saw you struggling.

How he never let you skip meals during exam season, sacrificing his own study time.

How he always managed to make time for you.

How he helped you live to the fullest during your high school days.

How he was the only person to truly know how to calm you down and help you relax.

How he was the only person to know your true self.

How he just stayed by your side, even though you were wrong, and hurt him with your insensitive words.

He truly does love you. How could you not see this?

What bugged you, even more, was how you didn’t realize you loved him too, maybe even more than he loves you. His compassion, passion, and kindness made him an angel you did not deserve.

“Hee, I’m so sorry.” You shook your head from disbelief at your own obliviousness and stupidity. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, for what I said a few days ago. I regret it and never intended to hurt you.”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he just smiled and invited you into his embrace once again. You gladly fell into his arms and melted in the comforting touch that helped you feel at ease. Your oasis. Your home.

Evening, Friday, 28th April 2023

The spectators were going crazy at the fierce match between the two teams. Your university’s players were currently losing by a few points but still were hoping to win regionals. While teams were discussing tactics with their coaches during a short break you were shouting words of encouragement along with other fans.

After the floor got cleaned players once again stepped on the court and started the last quarter. The ball relocated quickly between the hands of opponents when because of a small mistake of one of them it landed in your team’s captain, Heeseung’s hands. Your side of the bleachers screamed out of joy as he scored 3 points.

For a few minutes, none of the teams scored, raising the stress and emotions to the maximum. Now Heeseung’s team needed a final word to win the game and knock current front-runners off their pedestal. The tension in the air suffocated everyone, they were equally close and far from winning, because of the exhaustion of the other team.

The clock showed one minute till the end and a sudden rush of adrenaline overpowered Heeseung’s body. He had to lead his team to victory and he knew he could do it. He waited for the right moment and took the ball away from another player. He rushed to the hoop making an impressive buzzer beater leaving one side of the hall in tears of regret and the other one of joy.

The team surrounded him in a group hug, celebrating the victory and making it to the nationals, for the first time in your university’s history.

Seeing him so happy and smiley because of victory made your heart fill with glee and pride.

You saw how his teammates’ girlfriends rushed to congratulate them. That’s when Heeseung and your eyes met. He made a confused expression and you saw him say, barely audible because of the noise: “What are you waiting for?” and opened his arms.

You laughed and rushed his way to engulf him in a hug, not caring about the layer of sweat that covered his body and clothes. You pulled out, arms still wrapped around his neck, and kissed him, feeling salty drops on your lips. He melted in your touch and lifted your body while spinning around. You giggled against his lips and pulled away saying: “I’m so proud of you, love” making his cheeks and tips of ears turn bright pink. “I love you so much,” you confessed and looked deeply into his beautiful dark eyes.

“I love you more,” he said leaving a sweet kiss on your temple.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

#enhypen #enhypen imagine #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x you #heeseung enhypen #heeseung imagines #heeseung fluff #heeseung angst #heeseung fic #heeseung x reader #heeseung x y/n #heeseung x you

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orion4ever · 3 months ago

Note

hey dude, i know you mean well for the ol community, and i think you're really cool and have been following you for a while, but i really don't think all this shitting on rose is justified. spreading callout posts by taking shitty things people have said out of context, especially queer poc, is a real tactic used by terfs to spread discourse and isolate queer people from communities, and it's worked so well that queer people have started doing the same to their own with really good intentions, but the overall effect is nonsense discourse and the spread of hatred. kab herself has publicly said that she and rose have a good relationship and that she thinks most of rose's impact on the games and community has been really helpful for checking her own biases. the screenshots and shitty things you've read about her are not the full story, and yes, i do agree that rose handled certain things really really shittily and i am not excusing that at all, but rose isn't a bad person at all, what the callouts show is out of context and does not show rose accurately as a person, and the degree of hatred for a group of people honestly trying to create a safe space for queer people is wildly disproportional. i really hope this doesn't come off as any way accusatory, because it really isn't, and i really look up to you as a creator. i just want you to be aware that this is something that has been settled by the people involved, and continuing discourse and wanting rose fired goes directly against kab's own wishes and is based on misinformation. thanks for reading this far. please have a wonderful day

I respect you and I appreciate that you reached out respectfully with this.

I do not repost these call out post to be malicious or start a hate campaign like some people have been accusing others of.

I do not encourage witch-hunting or harassment of Rose or Kab ; As they are people and make mistakes , even if the mistakes are extremely shitty and I understand that those screenshots were a private conversation but frankly , I think some of the stuff Rose said was extremely odd and vulgar , context or without.

I am not in the official OL server so maybe your right about them not being as bad but even if that was the case they should still be let go of the role as sensitivity reader because they’re views aren’t open minded and its ironic that they are supposed to help prevent bias and keep the game inclusive when they’ve shown a weird rhetoric and the paper bag comment actually made my jaw drop.

OL has been one of the most comforting things to me , I was in a really dark place when I started a new save file and fell in love with all the characters and the game so believe me when I tell you I would never want to attack the very person who created and brought me that comfort. It physically exhausted me and upset me yesterday when it all came to light , considering it has been a huge hyperfixation and boosted my self esteem.

I don’t care if GB is okay with their friends talking an insane amount of crap behind their backs. It's not my business, I just think that they need better friends.

Even with this in mind, I can’t continue my support for Kab if they decide to keep Rose on the development team, not purely just because of what they said in private but how they treated my friend. The both of them are insinuating that they’re a “liar” or that they “overreacted” when they just wanted to express a grievance. And a surprisingly large number of people are harassing them and accusing them of starting a “racist campaign” towards Rose when they are a trans minority as well. If the fandom is so quick to villainize my friend for simply speaking out then frankly I don’t want to be a part of this fandom.

I hope you also have a good day.

#orion4ever #orion discussion #orion thought #our life beginnings & always #our life now and forever #i will barely post now due to this #if you don’t agree with my view then I hope you have a good life and goodbye #and if you do agree and choose to stay then know I recheck my notifications constantly and smile when I see a like from a familiar person!#i am moving on #this will be the last i talk about this unless something changes #i am disappointed in some of the fandom but i know some people will have more trouble letting go of the game #so i won’t hold it against them #while i joke alot #i want to stay cordial

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missvelvetsstuff · 7 months ago

Text

With Friends Like You, Who Needs Enemies

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Reader is a mutant with the ability to turn sound into light who was 'adopted' aka stolen as a child by Baron Von Strucker to use for experimentation. She was given a form of the Super soldier serum so in addition to her mutant abilities she also has super strength, enhanced senses and healing. When he starts experimenting on his volunteers, the Maximoff twins, she tries to convince them to escape with her but they tell the Baron that she's planning to escape so he doubles her cell security. Steve and reader met when the team recovered Loki's scepter from Strucker.

She falls in love with Steve and becomes good friends with Nat but they aren't the friends she thinks they are.

This story is canon adjacent except that Thanos never happened.

NOTES: I'm in the middle of reading Unwanted by @scoonsalicious and am really pissed at that Bucky which made writing fluff a challenge so I hope this came out alright.

LMK if y'all want smut

Chapter 13

Warnings: little angst but mostly fluff

Bucky kissed Rainbow on the cheek as he dropped her off in her room to get ready for their date. Before Bucky even took two steps away from her door, Steve hurried up and started knocking. Rainbow opened the door smiling, thinking Bucky had forgotten something but her face fell when she saw Steve looking at her expectantly.

She sighed "What do you want, Steve?"

Steve smiled at her "I was wondering if you had plans tonight? Maybe we could go for dinner?"

Rainbow shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose "I don't think so Steve. I have plans tonight but even if I didn't, I still wouldn't spend any time with you even if the world was on fire and you owned all the water. Go find yourself a new girl to control and cheat on." She slammed the door in his face.

Steve heard something behind him and glared at Bucky who was leaning up against the wall chuckling at him. "I waited to see if she needed any help dealing with you but it seems like she can handle herself just fine.

And damn pal, the attitude she gave you was hot as fuck."

He slapped Steve on the shoulder "Well, man, I've got a date to get ready for with my sweet Rainbow and I do not want to be late. Catch you later, punk."

Steve just stood in the hallway, seething, until an idea to interfere with their date started forming and he walked away to develop it.

Wanda went to Rainbows room to help her get ready for her date. Rainbow was already anxious.

"I don't know what to wear, I don't have much."

Wanda looked at her "It's just a date, not like you two don't already finish each others sentences all the time. Bucky is crazy about you, he'd love you in a potato sack so stop worrying about it."

Wanda hummed looking through Rainbows closet before grabbing a hanger. "How about this?" She waved a baby blue sun dress "and.......this?" Putting her black leather biker jacket over it. "And some sandals? Light make up and relaxed hair?"

Rainbow laughed and nodded "Yes!" Before sitting down so Wanda could work on her hair.

Rainbow hummed without even realizing and her aura glowed so Wanda giggled "You must not be too nervous because your lights are so light and soft"

Rainbow felt her face heat up and her lights went pink "Why would I be nervous? Bucky and I are already know each other so well. I feel like all the other stuff, you know Strucker, Nat all that bad was there to make sure I appreciate right now. I mean do you think there's something I should be nervous about? Did you see something in Bucky's head? Tell me Wanda please!" She felt her heart racing.

Wanda rubbed her back "No there's nothing, I didn't read anything it was just your lights were so pretty."

Rainbow sighed and tried to soothe herself. "I'm more worried about Steve trying to cause trouble. He knocked on my door after the meeting and asked me to go out with him. I don't think he's going to back down."

Wanda consoled her "We aren't going to let Steve mess things up for you. I'll keep an eye on him to make sure."

Wanda finished her work and stood back. "Stand up and take a look."

Rainbow stood and looked at herself in the mirror, gasped, then twirled to make sure it was really her. "Wanda, what did you do? You made me beautiful."

Wanda scoffed playfully "No love, you are beautiful. I just helped highlight what you already have."

Rainbow felt her emotions welling up and her eyes felt teary. She fanned her face with her hands "Oh no Wanda, you're gonna make me cry and ruin my face. I just, I don't, I'm, no I can't do this it's too much."

Wanda handed her some tissues "No, stop it. You're just nervous but it's going to be perfect. Trust me."

Rainbow hugged her friend and sat on her couch to wait for Bucky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky looked himself over in his mirror, black jeans, button up and leather jacket. Simple and very him. He left his room to pick up the flowers he had ordered at reception and back upstairs to pick up his Rainbow.

He passed his own door to see Steve leaned up against it.

Bucky shook his head "No time for your BS Rogers, find a new hobby."

Steve scoffed "I don't think so. You're nuts if you think I'm just going to stand back and watch you take my girl. I'm not that skinny weakling you used to protect."

Bucky nodded "I agree, that weakling wouldn't have treated Rainbow the way you have."

Steve snapped "Not Rainbow, her fucking name is Y/N and I will get her back." he shoved Bucky into the wall.

Bucky stared at the man he used to consider his brother before setting the flowers aside and cracked his neck calmly. He moved so quickly after that, that Steve couldn't follow his movements and found himself against the wall with Bucky's vibranium hand around his neck. Again.

Bucky held him a moment, breathing heavily before looking Steve in the eyes "This is the LAST time I'm gonna say this. You fucked up and RAINBOW isn't yours, doesn't want to be yours and I'm honestly baffled trying to understand why she won't let me kill you. She's with me now and I'm not gonna fuck up like you did. Now I'm taking her on a date and you are gonna stay here, in the building, and leave us the fuck alone. Got it?"

Steve tried to speak and nod but he couldn't. Bucky chuckled and let up on Steve's neck "Sorry, I guess I'm a little overzealous. Are we clear?"

Steve nodded wordlessly while looking past Bucky's shoulder, seeing Y/N beckoning him and followed her into his own room.

Bucky saw Wanda down the hall, red magic reaching from her hands to follow Steve into his room. She smiled at Bucky and nodded her head towards Rainbows room.

Bucky smiled back, dusted himself off, picked up his flowers and hurried to Rainbows door, knocking quickly. When she opened her door his jaw dropped, making her giggle.

"Hi Jamie." She took the flowers he held out for her.

"Damn doll, you get prettier every time I see you."

She smiled and felt her face heat up, hoping he wouldn't notice. "You look very handsome too. Let me put these flowers in some water and we can go."

Bucky took her hand after she took care of the flowers and led her to the entrance of the building.

When he opened the door for her, Rainbow gasped to see a horse drawn carriage waiting for them.

She looked over at Bucky who shrugged "It's incredible what you can do when you have Tony Stark backing you up." He held his hand up to help her step into the carriage.

They rode all the way around the lake and came back around to the end of the property stopping at a spot with soft outdoor lights and a blanket spread out topped by an assortment of pillows. Soft jazz music seemed to come out of nowhere.

The driver stopped the horse and Bucky helped Rainbow out of the carriage which went far enough away to give them privacy but close enough to be there when they were ready to go home.

Rainbow looked at the setting in awe "It's so pretty Jamie, I love this!"

Bucky stared at her with a smile on his face "Absolutely beautiful"

Rainbow looked at him, realized he was looking at her then felt the butterflies explode and leave a tingle in her core.

Bucky smirked and kissed her cheek before offering a hand to help her sit and get comfortable on the blanket. She giggled playing with them until she was comfortable.

Bucky poured wine and put out a dish of fruit, veggies, cheese and crackers for them to snack on. They talked and laughed, quietly watched the sun set in each others arms, then talked more until Bucky leaned over and kissed her. He was soft and slow to start, gently nibbling her lower lip until she opened up for him and their tongues danced together. He pulled her closer and ran his hands all over her body until they both needed to come up for air.

Bucky caressed her cheek with his flesh hand and smiled when she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He gently grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into another kiss. She kissed him back with all the love and passion she felt. She felt his vibranium hand tighten around her waist until she could feel his erection pushing into her center and moaned into his mouth.

He smiled into the kiss and moved his hand down to grab her ass and grind into her.

He pulled back to check on her, looking into her beautiful eyes "Are you ok doll you let me know if I'm going too fast, yeah?"

Rainbow nodded "I will but you aren't. I want you Jamie. I need you."

She reached down to barely run her hand over his straining cock. Even through his clothes she made him feel like nothing he remembered.

He grunted, his voice husky "If you keep that up I'm gonna make a mess in my pants like a teenager."

He pulled away a little "Maybe we should cool off? Maybe a walk along the lake shore?"

Rainbow pouted and shook her head before rubbing him a little harder, nibbling on his earlobe and whispering in his ear "Maybe, we should get back to my room so I can show you what I meant when I said I need you."

Bucky kissed her one more time before grabbing his phone and texting the coachman to pick them up.

He looked at Rainbow and winked as he pulled her up to stand "Then let's get out of here, doll."

Chapter 14

Smut? Or no smut?

@vicmc624

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #james bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #steve rogers x reader

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