#the problem is almost always systemic
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personally while i think that racism and sexism were absolutely a factor in the results of the election, i think that the biggest factors were 2 things:
harris did not have enough time to make a solid campaign. she was tagged in like, what, 4 months before the election? that's NOWHERE near enough time to make a campaign.
harris didn't make her campaign around an issue. her whole campaign was "trump bad." her whole campaign was "we're not trump." she spent most of her time trying to appeal to moderates, which lost her votes from both right-leaning moderates who were on the fence, and leftists. she did not do a good job of making herself look like an exciting or fresh candidate, which is what people usually want.
people voting 3rd party were not a significant enough portion of the vote. if everyone who voted 3rd party had switched their vote to harris, she still would have lost. don't blame 3rd party voters, or trans people, or palastinian protesters. blame biden and harris for failing to run a successful campaign, and blame trump for being a fascist who's good enough at making people think that he cares about them to get them to keep voting for him. blame your shitty relatives who decided to vote for him. blaming your allies just because you have no power over what your enemy does is not productive and only sows more discourse when we need to be organizing and sticking together.
#election 2024#us election#us elections#im just really tired#the problem is almost always systemic#we cannot keep blaming our neighbor for something they are equally powerless to change#anyway#im still tired#message to all bitches. please survive
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If the first season was about Jayce getting pulled every which way by his allegiances to those closest to him, then next season will be about Viktor doubling down on his isolation and refusing to listen to outside opinions. Viktor's already on the path for that. Viktor would have never gotten as far as he did in a society that's as hostile to Zaunites and the disabled as Piltover is if he didn't refuse to listen to the opinion of others. It's largely been in his best interest to disregard avoidable rules and social conventions because they otherwise barred him from not just advancing in society but participating in it in general.
But now this defense mechanism will only serve to further push him from others as he crosses morelines. Sure Viktor will be able to do some good with the hexcore and even gain followers, but a cult isn't a reliable source of criticism, it's an echo chamber to reinforce your beliefs. Viktor's true resolution will be allowing someone, maybe more than one, to tell him to pull back and he actually listens.
Tldr: Mr. "If you want to change the world, don't ask for permission", needs to learn life is a team project and nothings wrong with a little peer review.
#arcane#viktor arcane#arcane meta#jayce talis#cijtor and jayce are such an interesting pair of opporsites#jayce is so tied up in other people's ideas bcuz he was raised in a way that allowed him to trust the system to trust piltover#he was able to survive and advance based on the kindness and support of others almost#nearly every situation jayce has been in there was always someone of something offering to help him in a pickle#sometimes it's a councilor a wizard or a yordle but they're there#viktor is the complete opposite#from what we know so far viktor has had to rely on himself to get anywhere in life#he has no money connection a name and everything about his origins puts him at a disadvantage but sheer force of will#(a little arrogance) and genuine talent is how he survived and now it'll be the source of his problems next season#arcane loves dramatic irony
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Uniform redesign i was bored after losing motivation on the last drawing.
Also some other hc like the robes are made out of rayon or smth lightweight n cheap idk
#my art#harry potter#art#ARCHIVISTTest… Test… Test… 1#1... 2... 3... Right#My name is Jonathan Sims. I work for the Magnus Institute#London#an organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the#paranormal. The head of the Institute#Mr. Elias Bouchard#has employed me to replace the previous Head Archivist#one Gertrude Robinson#who has recently passed away.#I have been working as a researcher at the Institute for four years now and am familiar with most of our more significant contracts and#projects. Most reach dead ends#predictably enough#as incidents of the supernatural#such as they are – and I always emphasise there are#very few genuine cases – tend to resist easy conclusions. When an investigation has gone as far as it can#it is transferred to the Archives#Now#the Institute was founded in 1818#which means that the Archive contains almost 200 years of case files at this point.#Combine that with the fact that most of the Institute prefers the ivory tower of pure academia to the complicated work of dealing with#statements or recent experiences and you have the recipe for an impeccably organised library and an absolute mess of an archive. This isn’t#necessarily a problem – modern filing and indexing systems are a real wonder#and all it#would need is a half-decent archivist to keep it in order. Gertrude Robinson was apparently not that archivist.#From where I am sitting#I can see thousands of files. Many spread loosely around the place
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realizing that at this point my mother is really just a conspiracy theorist / wellness pseudoscience theorist it's just that she DIYs her theories so she doesn't fall down internet rabbit holes or get sucked into shady subcultures or cults she just makes shit up on her own time for free and then subjects other people (me, mostly) to it. i did cut her slack for a while bc usually there's some grain of truth that she starts with and then builds a pearl of bullshit around it, and bc she's never actually meant to poison me, but now she believes she's made herself immune to covid and idk what do do with it all anymore. i don't think our reality is very shared. i think she's alone in hers
#basically a combination of noticing a lot of genuine problems and watching the medical system fail ppl constantly#and also believing she is smarter than almost everyone else and always right and also having an 'i can fix him' complex abt me#and also being somewhat unable to perceive like. anyone else as a real person#but you are not immune to covid bc of your silly little remedies. pls. i am begging you not to find this out the hard way#you have a medical degree.........#skravler
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barry being obsessed with going all YourFaveIsProblematic on 'great men' as a way to justify himself because if they could do bad things and still be regarded as great then so can he. he’s “doing” the “work” of “bettering himself” and berating sally for being drunk because it “sets a bad example” and hiding guns behind live laugh love decor. He’s literally putting on a wholesomecore front lol, he’s play acting as a ted lasso type and using lib therapy language which is indistinguishable from when he’s using evangelical language which is all utterly meaningless and he uses it as a violence. Ha ha ha
#he’s so fucking evil lol#meanwhile his child is experiencing Room#barry#barry spoilers#it’s endlessly funny to me that he managed to trick half the audience into actually thinking any of his efforts to be a better person were#real or meaningful in any capacity. it doesnt work. world’s a black hole sorry like what did we expect#it’s so fucking patriarchy bro like it’s so fucking fathers#he’s a sitcom dad!#and the great men thing is so. Yeah. YEAH. This society does valorize violent men lmfao#it’s almost like this world was built on violence and as much as we like to pretend we abhor it it’s baked into the structures of our lives#it’s a systemic problem you cant just change. There will always be an angry man in your house#of course he can still be the hero! literally nothing in the world has ever proven otherwise!!!
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recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
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Maybe together we can make this whorehouse.. into a whorehome
#my brother and I have this curse in minecraft where whenever we settle near a village the villagers always end up leaving#Ever since our pocket edition days and we don’t know why. Even if we like don’t even steal anything from them they will Leave#So we started a server and we settled near a village + our cousin and a mutual friend#And it happened AGAIN. We almost lost the cleric of our cousin didn’t brick him up in his house#And apparently they changed the breeding system for villagers and I didn’t know until I had like 9 doors scattered around the village and I#Was like wtf why isn’t it working.. apparently since the v&p update you need to feed them AND get a bed with 3 blocks above so the baby can#Jump on it. So I made like a house specifically so I can lock them in there and they can. Breed#Affectionately named villager fuckhouse. But the problem is that we only have ONE CLERIC#Gamerule says the villagers will boink if the villager:bed ratio is uneven but again. the curse#And the next village over is 900 blocks and I’m too lazy to make a minecart rail to get our cleric a mate#I feel like the drivethrougg anon explaining this. But it’s 11PM and I have a headache and I want the sweet release of death#Yapping
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I know everyone thinks that they're the only competent person at their job . . . but genuinely am I the ONLY person at this jobsite with functioning brain cells
#the ceiling guys have been hounding us for WEEKS about our cable tray being too low#my coworker has re-worked it 3 times. they went to put the ceiling up today and it's STILL too low#so i had to fix it because apparently SOMEONE can't read a fucking tape measure#the drywallers also had to cut apart a bunch of drywall so my coworker could fix some switches that got fucked up#the drywallers are fucking PISSED and frankly they have the right to be. the wall was plastered and painted ffs#and then my foreman discovered that a place where he put a bunch of boxes was going to inaccessible so the boxes need to be moved#and then he didn't relay that information to anyone else so i caught two other coworkers trying to add boxes to that area#two apprentices tried coring through a wall without a bucket to catch the water from the cooling system and almost flooded the floor#that's not their fault. they should have had a fucking journeyman with them but my company is too cheap to hire enough journeymen#the lack of apprentice supervision is becoming a SERIOUS problem at this job site#i've always liked working at this company but i am beginning to consider jumping ship when i make journeyman this spring
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you know I was feeling like shit earlier today and I still feel kind of shit (not as much) but I also saw so many fireflies that it looked like the night sky was in the trees. The world isn’t filled with evil. There’s still some good out there. Just last year I saw maybe 10 fireflies the entire summer. This year they’re lighting up my backyard. There’s small things we can do to change the world, even if it won’t happen all at once. If you’re feeling as hopeless and helpless as I was, go outside and look at the fireflies. Smile that they’re living because people fought for them to live, and it worked. Smile knowing there will always be people fighting, that there’s kindness and gentleness out there that will combat any greed and hate generated. We may not finish the work, but we can do our part, and we can leave a mark. Every tiny thread makes the tapestry, there’s no thread more important than the other. I know I sound cheesy but honestly if you can’t handle it you need to learn to lighten up, humble yourself and accept the meaning.
#it made me so happy to see that the fireflies were back#they were almost gone entirely where I lived. they’re still not as numerous as they were when I was a kid but they’re lighting up the sky#if you have a problem with my cheesy prose you can write ur own version btw. bc I’m not stopping :)#and if you can’t write ur own version then sit down and eat ur food#I still feel low bc it’s not like I’m swinging right back up from where I was but I am doing better bc I have such good friends and family#and it’s not morally wrong to feel sad and hopeless sometimes. it’s normal. it’s important to learn to get back up however#even if I choose to keep on living I can’t continue to live in hopelessness. that isn’t living at all#there has to be some good to be found even if you have to scrape your knuckles till they bleed digging for it#and good and loyal friends will always be there to help you when you need it#that said even if you can’t find hope and joy it matters to keep trying. a good support system will help you until you can smile again#and if you don’t have one please don’t give up. you will find your people and they will be so happy you stayed alive to be in their life
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New Year/Christmas old postcards with bingqiu and moshang cosplaying that scene from Well, Just You Wait! (Russian: Ну, погоди!)
Tell me, Snow Maiden, where have you been?
Tell me, dear, how are things?
I've been running after you, Father Frost!
I've shed many a bitter tear!
youtube
#as always it's just because THE LYRICS SUITS THEM!!!#my art#my fanart#moshang#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#mobei jun#shang qinghua#svsss#scum villian self saving system#it's almost Christmas and i'm about to make it everyone else's problem
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wanted to write something today (i have an ESSAY DUE TODAY and i have WIPS) but instead im thinking abt my mom. lol
#there was a fucking cyberattack on the hospital that she gets her cancer treatments from and their systems have been down for WEEKS#and she's been delayed in getting treatments because of it and ykw. its advancing at a terrifying rate so its not like she has the time#to just sit around and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the problems to be resolved#and im lowkey !!! fuckin terrified !!!!#like. she has her meds NOW and i think we've fairly moved past it for the most part. but idk.#how much time did that really give her??? another month??? or two?? or three????#she's been a ticking time bomb for 3 years now and i think she's almost out of time#i cant explain how i know. i just do#she's always in pain. i cant be around her because she's constantly in so much pain and i dont know what to do to help#and its just a reminder that she's only getting worse.#and i feel horrible for isolating myself from her because she doesnt have long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know im gonna regret it later!!!!#but ive never been good at seeing ppl in pain. or knowing what to do about it.#and every new scan she has just shows more tumors and more growth and more red flags#and idk. im tired.#im tired of being scared. im tired of the fucking sword hanging over our heads. im tired of grieving my mother while she's still alive#and im tired of treating her like a ghost when she ISNT yet but i dont know what else to do because everything fucking hurts.#and all my complicated feelings about my mom aside. all the ways we've hurt each other#and the ways she's made me feel small and unimportant and Different and stupid and crazy and foolish#she's my MOM. she's my mom#and all i can think about with all this is my youngest brother.#he doesnt remember mom when she was healthy. the only mom he knows is exhausted and in pain and dying#and she won't even see him graduate high school and he'll never know what she was like before all of this#i almost wish the cancer would just take her so i could finally be able to grieve and let go#instead of this limbo ive been in for three fucking years of hope and Knowing what will happen and grief and anger#and ngl i feel like a horrible fucking person for that. lol#y'all dont need to read this i just gotta scream for a sec#winter speaks#personal#tw death#tw cancer
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theres a good post going around about how companies like google have eroded tech literacy in kids by hiding system stuff like files etc in widely used chromebooks (and on mobile devices as well).
but its frustrating because someone reblogged it with a short addition talking about linux as an alternative, and people immediately jumped to it being useless and a personal solution.
and like, yeah, the comment had no detail to speak of so idk what the person was really intending, and a personal suggestion for an individual to switch to linux would've definitely been very off-topic and unhelpful.
but the original post was talking about chromebook adoption in schools, and advocating for school adoption of linux machines as chromebook alternatives is on topic and is a possible structural solution.
i don't have links on hand but i have seen discussions on breaking the google chromebook monopoly in education in the linux sphere. more broadly, there has been a lot of work to get computers in the hands of kids and give kids computer skills through linux, tho usually presented as an alternative to windows in schools with less resources. however, this is a very similar niche to chromebooks.
its not the only solution to the chromebooks problem but it is one of them, and the version of the post going around makes it off putting to talk about it on the post or in its notes
#btw chromebooks not allowing linux installs mentioned in the thread is real and is very annoying#because it forces someone who wants a cheap laptop to run linux on to get a windows machine instead#which is almost always more money for the same computing power#the other alternative is niche linux focused online stores like pine 64. which isnt great either bc its less visible and online only#putting this in tags bc its not particularly relevant to the conversation of schools adopting certain operating systems#it is a personal problem#also im locking reblogs bc while its unlikely i dont really want this post to get picked up#because it has no links and was rattled off in a bit of frustration rather than seriously thought about
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And what if I said I agreed with Plato about philosopher kings? What if I think he was right!?
#how do i write a paper abt this and not seem like im endorcing oligarchies JSKFKFLGLGLV#idk man im disillusioned with the government rn its very difficult to argue in favor of our form of government#like how do i say. yeah i dont think this would actually work in practice#but man if it did ....it would be pretty cool 🫢#idk sometimes i feel like in modern society im too burdened by self awareness and autonomy sjfkfkg#so when we learned about philosopher kings idk it just sounded weirdly ...nice?#like i dont think it would work out bcs people always are going to abuse the system#but god really sometimes i WOULD prefer an almost dictatorship of people who are actually competent#like the idea of philosopher kings is that they are raised to become a leader#that is their speciality. like a baker makes bread. like a fisherman catches fish. etc.#and im sry but rn in this current political climate i think i would prefer that over the grand majority of politicians 🫣#lmao i had to argue in favor of philosopher kings in some debate#so now i like on some level endorse it bcs i had to fight for it yknow and actually made the most compelling argument#its just weird bcs theoretically systems of democracy are a lot easier to tear apart and find the issues in#but yeah LOL hope my prof doesnt get a bad idea of me from this paper 😭😭😭#on some level im playing devils advocate? but rly i do somewhat agree w Plato#i think most political systems are unfortunately very idealistic and are always going to have issues irl#and so its very hard to argue for the system we have now that i witness constant problems from#and easier to argue abt the one i dont live under and have no experience witj#anyways. plato was right. sjkfkf#catie.rambling.txt
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Update: The claim that Hergie Bacyadan spoke out against Imane Khelif seems to be misinformation. I apologize for spreading it, no one is immune to propaganda etc. This does not change the fact that the trans community has an intersexism/interphobia problem that is being made incredibly obvious by this olympics discourse.
Seeing the recent bigoted comments by transgender Olympian Hergie Bacyadan, it's past time for the perisex trans community to address the normalized intersexism/interphobia that so many of us spread.
The intersex community is constantly used as a prop by the trans community. The most frequent way you see trans people speak about intersex issues is just to remind transphobes that sex isn't binary, which is meaningless when the trans community still strictly enforces intersexist binaries like AMAB vs AFAB and TME vs TMA and Transfemme vs Transmasc, all categories that many if not most intersex people, trans or cis, cannot fit neatly into. The trans community uses the intersex community to win arguments and than makes next to no effort to make our intersex siblings feel welcome.
When talking about HRT and gender affirming care for minors, the trans community almost never uplifts the voices of the intersex community who are often forced to undergo HRT as children and surgery on their genitalia as actual babies against their will. It is important for HRT and gender affirming care to be available to transgender children, it is just as important to keep these same things that can be life saving for trans children from being forced onto intersex children who do not consent.
I implore all perisex trans people to do some reading into the history of intersex activism, and the sad reality of life for intersex people today when so many governments and health systems are still bigoted against intersex people. Uplift intersex voices, always.
#intersex#intersexism#interphobia#trans#transgender#trans community#intersex issues#intersex rights#transmasc#transfemme#trans intersexism#genderqueer#trans pride#transblr#apologies I don't know all the right tags#olympics#hergie bacyadan#transmisogyny#transandrophobia#trans woman#trans man#trans girl#trans boy#intersex woman#intersex man#intersexuality#any intersex people please feel more than free to share your feelings on this#I'd love nothing more than to hear from more intersex people on this issue#non-binary
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i’ve seen a lot of posts talking about nimona’s queer messages which is great! but ive not seen as many posts talking analyzing how both ballister and ambrosius were changed to be asian, which is a shame because i genuinely think its one of the most important parts of the film! a huge part of it is a deconstruction of the model minority myth and respectability politics, both of which are big issues in the asian american community. both of them represent each side of the spectrum, with ambrosius expected to be superhuman with very little support and ballister being seen as less than human, no matter how hard he tries- a monster.
ambrosius (who is now east asian, like his voice actor eugene lee yang, who is korean with chinese and japanese ancestry), despite being in a seemingly powerful position as head of the knights and a descendant of gloreth, he isn’t really given the kind of support that this position needs- he’s constantly undermined and belittled by todd, the face of the other knights, and when asked about his emotional state by the director, represses his emotions rather than talk to her about his true feelings. this is very similar to how asian american students in schools aren’t given the support they need academically by teachers and administration, as the model minority myth leads to them being perceived as more intelligent and competent than their fellow students and therefore not needing support. he’s also held to a higher standard than any of the other knights, being immediately placed into a position of power despite just being knighted, again a reflection of the model minority myth, since asian americans are held to higher standards unfairly. despite being technically better off than ballister, he has no support, no friends, no way to seek help for his problems, and, just like ballister, is immediately thrown away the moment the director thinks he’s served his use.
ballister is now pakistani, like his voice actor riz ahmed (no, not like pedro pascal. where did this come from lol), and i’d go as far as to say that he is also, if not explicitly muslim, heavily muslim coded as well. he’s framed as a terrorist by the white, christian institution, and from then on, it doesn’t matter how good he tries to be- everyone else sees him as a monster. he’s also from a lower socioeconomic class than ambrosius and the rest of the knights- while this is initially used to frame him as a success story, after he’s framed, it’s used to cast suspicion on him. almost immediately he’s othered, with posters casting him as a foreign invader sent to destabilize the city, much in the same way that muslim immigrants are seen in real life. even when he tries to be peaceful and good, it’s always twisted so that he’s the monster of the story. while ambrosius is held to too high of a standard, ballister will never be enough for the institution to accept.
which is why both of their arcs culminate in them breaking out of the system, learning to accept what they’d been taught was monstrous, and leaving behind respectability. it’s a genuinely great commentary, and i can definitely see why riz ahmed and eugene lee yang were chosen for this, as they’ve both done activist work for their communities.
#nimona#chatters#another analysis post i made at two am and then put in my drafts and forgot about LMAO#anyways i forgot to actually write a conclusion but shut up this isn't school i don't have to conclude SHIT#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin
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Ovulation
G!P Natasha Romanoff x Fem Reader
Warnings: 18+ content, masturbating, oral sex (R and Natasha receiving), finger sucking, dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex (P in V), overstimulation
Summary: You're ovulating while on a mission, causing you to be uncomfortably aroused. Luckily, the agent with you is more than eager to help you out...
WC: 4.1k
The motel was just like any other – grey, dusty and lit only by dim off-white. You would only be here for a night and when you pressed your hand against the cold metal of the radiator, you were glad. You debated whether or not you ask the receptionist about it but keeping your head low was key when travelling on an undercover mission. The more questions you asked and the more times your face was seen and captured by CCTV, the greater the risks. You decided against it.
You inspected the bedroom, following safety procedures which included searching for signs of any electronic devices but luckily, there were none. The bed was a small double with beige, striped sheets that were thinner than you would’ve liked. The back wall was taken up entirely by a sturdy, wooden cupboard that matched the tawny-brown, bedside tables covered in dust. You switched on the lamp and ran your hand over the mattress, noting that you would need to wear thick layers of clothing to bed. You assumed the other bedroom was the same but didn’t bother checking. The other agent could do that.
You sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand. One of the things you hated most about being a woman and a spy was the problems it caused when it conflicted with your cycle. Missions on your period were uncomfortable, draining and painful. Ovulation week was also a mess; you had no way of dealing with the surge of hormones it triggered while on a mission. You made a mental note to take a cold shower after the other agent arrived.
You read over the intel for the upcoming mission while you waited for them, straining your ears for the door. It was a complicated mission; you had to infiltrate the base of a growing terrorist organisation and hack into their systems to gather as much information about them as you could. S.H.I.E.L.D. knew scarily little about the organisation so you were going in almost blind – anything could happen.
The plan was for two agents, including you, to blend in as one of the terrorists to get into the base. You were unaware of the identity of the agent you were paired with. You were curious to know if they were someone you’d worked with before or a complete stranger. You assumed the latter – you were still young and hadn’t been assigned to many difficult missions yet. You tightened your arms around yourself, shivering as the light outside the window was sucked from the sky, the moon blocked out by an array of dark, restless clouds.
“You look cold.” You jumped and leapt on your feet, spinning around to see a woman standing behind you. Her face was painted with a smirk and she looked at you with her hands on her hips, her jade eyes travelling up and down your body. You swallowed. How did you not hear her come in? S.H.I.E.L.D. weren’t exaggerating when they said she was the very best they had at espionage. You didn’t realise you were staring at her until she brought you out of your thoughts, “Cat got your tongue?”
“Uh, sorry,” you said, clearing your throat, “Yeah, I am. East Europe is always freezing at this time of year.” You could feel sweat trickling down your neck. Not only were you ovulating on a mission but you were stuck with an extremely attractive woman during it. You were so fucked.
“Mm, it is,” she said, stepping towards you and offering out her hand. You noticed the electrified branches of azure and emerald running down her arms up to her fingers, pushing up against the skin, your heart thundering against your ribcage. You quickly pulled yourself out of your trance. You were a spy for goodness sake, not the nervous wreck or helpless whore your elevated levels of estrogen were making you feel like. You shook her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you,” you said, “I’m Agent Y/l/n.” You pulled your hand away from hers before she could pick up on your clammy palms but unbeknownst to you, she’d already felt them.
“I know,” she said, “I’m Agent Romanoff but to you, it’s Natasha.” You could feel your breath hitch in your throat. Natasha. You could already imagine how those three, pretty syllables would feel falling off your tongue.
You dismissed your dirty thoughts immediately, feeling ashamed of yourself. She was a stranger and your teammate; you seriously needed to pull yourself together. She nodded to the file in your hand, “I see you’re already prepared for the mission.”
“I was just double-checking all the details,” you said. The tight, black shirt and jeans she was wearing hugged her in all the right places, her sculpted arms in full view to you. She must take her training seriously, you thought, I wonder how often she goes to the gym.
“Good,” she said, dropping her bag on the floor, “I already know I’ll enjoy working with you.” You placed your hands behind your back so she couldn’t see your fidgeting fingers. Your gaze fell onto the bag and you frowned.
“Oh, were you planning on sleeping in here?” You said, “I’ll move to the other room then.” She held her arm in front of you as you stepped towards the door.
“There isn’t another room.” You felt your heart drop. You realised the other door must be to the bathroom. You couldn’t imagine how your situation could get any worse, “Are you unhappy with that arrangement?”
“No, not at all,” you lied, “I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.” You swallowed, hard. You started moving towards the door, “I’m going to take a shower,” you mumbled, not waiting for her answer. You fumbled with the handle, cursing under your breath and slammed the door shut behind you.
You didn’t waste any time taking off your clothes and turning on the shower, sighing as the cold droplets collided with your burning skin. The water only offered you a few moments of relief, however. The more you thought about the redhead and how close you’d be together that night, the more you fed the raging arousal between your legs. It became clear that there was only one way you were going to calm yourself down.
You covered your hand with your mouth as you touched yourself, your mind overwhelmed by images of Natasha. It didn’t take long for you to reach your climax and you were certain that the sound of the shower and your hand had muffled out all your moans. You cleaned yourself before stepping out, drying yourself with a towel and getting dressed, praying that your body would be satisfied for the night. When you returned to the bedroom, Natasha was on the bed facing you, resting a pillow on her lap.
“You’re even prettier in real life than you are in your pictures,” she said, the unexpected compliment drowning you in butterflies. You noticed that her cheeks were flushed a bright red and her breaths seemed more laboured than before.
“Really?” you said in disbelief. You had never seen yourself as unattractive but you didn’t think you were anything special either. You were nothing compared to the Goddess in front of you, that was for sure. She chuckled.
“You’re a humble one,” she mused, “How cute.” You couldn’t quite believe her words. Natasha thought you, of all people, were humble? You searched the room, looking for any kind of escape from the conversation and spotted a clock hung above the bed.
“It’s getting late,” you said, trying to hide your stutter, “I’ll sleep on the floor.” You knew it would be uncomfortable but anything was better than being next to Natasha. You’d slept in awkward places before so you’d just have to deal with it.
“No you won’t,” she said, shuffling to the other side of the bed and lifting the sheets, “There’s room for both of us, see?” The amount of room wasn’t the problem – it was the proxemics between you and the internal chaos your body was experiencing. How were you supposed to explain that to Natasha though? You noticed the moment your eyes fell on her that her autonomy wasn’t the same as yours so she wouldn’t understand your dilemma.
“Uh, okay,” you said, knowing you had no choice. You never sounded nervous or vulnerable, not even with your close family and friends. If embarrassment was a type of poison, you’d have collapsed in agony by now. You climbed into bed beside Natasha, turning your back to her. You were reminded of how small the bed was when you shifted slightly and felt her hand brush against the small of your back. You took a deep breath. You were in for a long night.
She switched off the bedside lamp and to your horror, you could hear her unbutton her jeans and discard them on the floor. It was almost as if she was doing it on purpose. You tensed your muscles, forcing yourself to stay as still as humanely possible so there was less chance of you accidentally making contact with each other again.
“That’s better,” she mumbled and you felt her leg against yours as she adjusted her position to make herself more comfortable. You didn’t know how long it took for you to fall asleep with her body so close to yours, her breath creating goosebumps along every part of your skin that it hit. Unfortunately, you found out the hard way that your head was the worst place to escape to you in your current state.
You woke up, gasping and blinded by the darkness around you. You pushed yourself up, feeling the slick on your thighs from the filthy dream you had just experienced. Natasha’s head had been buried between your thighs and you had been an absolute mess beneath her. You could honestly die from humiliation – how could your mind conjure up something so vile while you were sleeping next to her? As you were about to move off the bed and sprint into the bathroom, a light was switched on and you felt a hand tighten around your wrist.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Natasha said, a dark rasp accompanying her words, “You are not going into the bathroom to fuck yourself again.” Your eyes widened and you felt a tide of heat rush to your cheeks. She’d heard you.
“I’m so sorry,” you said, “I shouldn’t have, it was really inappropriate of me…” She silenced you by straddling your hips, trapping you beneath her on the bed. Before you could react, you were distracted by the feeling of something hard against your stomach. You looked down to see Natasha in only her boxers, the bulge pressing against your abdomen straining in its confines. Your jaw dropped. It had never even occurred to you that there was a chance she’d want you too.
“I was going to let you make the first move,” she said, “But you took too long.” From how the other agents described you, she had been so sure your boldness and confidence would’ve caused you to spring onto her immediately. She was annoyed that she’d had to listen to you pleasure yourself in the shower without her but at the same time, Natasha loved that her presence had changed your demeanour so much.
You gulped and looked up into her eyes, seeing that her iris had shrunk into a thin line around her blown pupils. You drunk in the sight of her on top of you, placing your hands on top of her bare, supple thighs, her skin like velvet beneath you.
“Fuck,” you breathed. She tilted up your chin, running her thumb over your bottom lip, wanting a better view of you.
“Tsk tsk. Such a dirty mouth.” You knew you shouldn’t be letting her walk all over you but you were enjoying it more than you wanted to admit. She lifted herself off your body so she could move her other hand to the waistband of your trousers. She hooked a finger underneath the material, “Can I?” You nodded and she dug her nails into your chin, “I want to hear you say it.” You weren’t used to this power dynamic – you were always the more dominant one.
“Yes,” you said, “You can. Please.” She grinned at your obedience and slipped her hand into your pants, feeling you drip onto her fingertips. She groaned.
“Oh God, you’re so wet already,” she said, “I could stuff you with my cock right now if I wanted to.” She removed her hand from your underwear and brought it to your mouth, pushing her fingers past your lips. You sucked her digits hungrily, tasting yourself on your tongue. The sight only drove Natasha even crazier but she also felt a pang of envy, wishing it was her cock in your mouth instead. You felt so good around her fingers.
After pulling her digits out of your mouth, she lowered herself onto your body and she didn’t hesitate to connect her lips with yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your veins. Her lips moulded against yours perfectly and you moved in sync with her, your kisses becoming more and more desperate. She could taste your sweetness as she kissed you and she forced herself to forget about breathing, not wanting to pull away for even a second. Her hands cupped your face and you reached up to tangle yours in her hair, her lips staining yours with garnet lust.
You pulled her even closer against your chest, your mind a buzz of her and her only. You let her tongue slide between your teeth when you felt it press against your bottom lip, making no effort to fight against it with your own. She swallowed your whines, her crotch grinding against your thigh. You had never hooked up with anyone before; you weren’t that kind of person. But you were willing to break all your rules for Natasha and give every part of you to her without hesitation.
Her mouth moved to your jawline, littering your face with kisses, her hands trailing down your arms. You shivered under her feather-light touch, gasping as her teeth sunk into your neck, intending to leave a bruise that everyone else would see. She tugged at the hem of your shirt.
“Take it off,” she said. She leaned back to give you space to pull it over your head and unhook your bra before she pounced on you like an animal. She traced her fingers over your collarbones before venturing further down to your chest, her fingers circling your nipples. You arched into her touch as she caressed your breasts, her movements sending a spark straight to your core. You reached down to cup her bulge, noticing the wet patch on her boxers but she slapped your hand away, “No touching,” she snapped.
“Please, Natasha,” you said, “I need you; it hurts.” She tutted.
“Patience,” she husked. She pulled away from you and started taking off her clothes, freeing her aching breasts before pushing down her boxers. Her erection sprang out from the material, the tip inflamed and ringed by an enraged red, pre-cum dribbling onto the sheets beneath her.
She led back onto the pillow, giving you a full view of her body and you took a moment to admire her. Everything about her was a masterpiece – her facial features, her muscles, her curves. Her crimson hair was a mess around her shoulders and the front pieces had fallen forward, framing her face, “I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” You shook your head.
“No, Natasha,” you pleaded, “It’ll feel so much better in my pussy, I promise…” You fell silent as her eyes burnt into you. You reluctantly crawled over to her on all fours, hesitating before wrapping your mouth around the tip. You tried to irk her, moving as slow as possible but she grabbed a hold of your head and started pushing you down on her cock.
“Suck.” You gagged around her length as she started bucking her hips upwards so she was fucking your mouth but the sound only drove her more. It didn’t take long for you to start moving your head up and down her cock without any guidance, guttural moans escaping Natasha’s mouth from the warmth and skill of your tongue, “Fuck, that shut you up.”
Tears spilt down your cheeks as she hit the back of your throat over and over again, the vibrations of your whines sending even more waves of pleasure through her body. She lifted her legs onto your shoulders so you could grab onto her thighs, spurring you on even more, “I’m so close,” she breathed. Her thrusts were messy and out of rhythm by the time she came undone, spilling her cum into your mouth. You made sure to swallow it all.
She pulled her cock out of your mouth, a mixture of cum and drool coating her length, some of it dribbling down your chin, “You did so well. Such a good slut for me.” She took a moment to catch her breath, watching with eagerness as you pulled down your trousers and your panties that were positively ruined, throwing them on the floor. There were tears of white running down your legs and your clit was visibly swollen. She smirked wickedly, “You want me that bad, huh?”
“Please, I’ve been a good girl,” you whined. You tried to reach for her again but she caught hold of your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
“Lie down.” You went to lay on your back but she grabbed your shoulders, her nails indenting crescent-moons into your skin before pushing you down onto your stomach. You gasped as her hand pressed against your cunt, her fingers running through your sensitive folds. Her movements were slow and deliberate, intending to increase your need but not give in to it.
“More,” you begged as her thumb massaged your clit. The smell of sex was heavy in the air and your senses were intoxicated by the vanilla and brown sugar fragrance of her perfume. She gave your clit a sharp pinch in response to your pleas, causing you to inhale a sharp intake of breath.
“You’re insatiable,” she said, “You’re begging to be fucked by a woman you just met. Like a whore.” You started rubbing your crotch against her hand, your motions erratic and frantic.
“More, please,” you cried, your thoughts becoming incoherent as the need between your legs started to burn, “Please, Natasha.” She pushed two fingers inside of you, stretching out your entrance but making sure to avoid your g-spot.
“Tell me what you want.”
“I want you inside of me,” you groaned as she added a third digit to your cunt. Natasha started to play with her breasts using her free hand; she was burning for you just as badly as you were for and the sound of your begging only worsened her desire. It took all the strength in her body to hold herself back and not ruin you right there and then. She was so glad you couldn’t see her.
“I am inside of you.” You whined.
“I want your cock. I need it inside of me, please.” She grabbed hold of your hips, smirking. As much as she enjoyed seeing you so needy for her, her patience was wearing thin.
“Then you’ll take it all.” She suddenly rammed inside you without any warning, not being able to resist you for any longer and you cried out in shock. Your initial discomfort was drowned by explosive bliss as Natasha filled you to the brim, hitting places you didn’t even know existed. She was met with no resistance as she rutted into you despite her size which stretched you out deliciously. Your pussy was so much better than she could’ve ever imagined.
She flattened herself against your back, needing to feel more of you. She grunted against your ear as her hips slammed into your ass with each powerful stroke. You were dizzy with pleasure as her speed increased, your moans intensifying as she started to pound into your sweet spot. She was older and more experienced than anyone you had been with before which was evident in how she was making you feel. Your body was coursing with more pleasure than you thought was humanely possible.
The knot in your stomach was tightening fast and the sounds of your wet cunt were echoing through the room, “Oh fuck, you’re so tight,” Natasha said, not caring about her dignity anymore, too lost in the sensation of your warmth clenching around her cock, “Tell me how you feel baby.”
“I feel so, so good,” you said, “Please, don’t stop.” You looked back at her and she tilted her head so your lips could connect for a moment before her mouth moved to your shoulder. She sucked on the soft skin there, slowing down so she could sink deeper into your cunt. She could feel your legs trembling beneath her own as you pushed back in rhythm with each of her thrusts.
“How close are you?” Natasha didn’t want to admit it but she was already teetering on the edge, struggling to hold back from how well you were taking her. You could feel her movements become sloppy as more and more of your juices gushed from your entrance.
“So close,” you said, your walls clenching even harder around her cock. It only took a few more thrusts before you could feel gasoline flood your bloodstream, ready to be set on fire, “Natasha, f-fuck…” You didn’t even have to say it.
“Let go for me,” she commanded. You let the knot in your stomach unravel, screaming her name as all the nerves in your body were electrified, sparks of searing light shooting across your vision. No drug could replicate the state of euphoria you were both lost in as your walls were drowned by white, your cunt milking her cock dry until there wasn’t a single drop left to give. You had never experienced an orgasm so strong, so prolonged, so incredible. You expected Natasha to stop after fucking you through your high but instead, she picked up her pace again. You whimpered.
“Natasha, that’s enough…” She pulled out of you and flipped you onto your back before slipping straight back inside of you. Your eyes widened.
“What’s wrong?” she mocked, “You begged for my cock, slut. Isn’t this what you wanted?” She smirked when you didn’t give her an answer, already drowning in ecstasy again despite the building ache between your legs. You were losing your grip on reality as the new angle gave her access to more places inside of you and you knew it wouldn’t be long until you were overstimulated.
She didn’t take her eyes off you, wanting to see your reaction to everything she gave you. You were growing more sensitive by the second and you could feel her cock throbbing against your walls each time you squeezed her, drops of perspiration gleaming on every inch of your skin. You reached up to cup Natasha’s breasts, the extra layer of stimulation pushing her towards yet another climax in record time.
She started to rub your clit, hoping to speed up your release but it was becoming evident she’d have to release without you. You wrapped your legs around her waist, pulling her even closer and for a moment, she forgot your pleasure, getting too lost in her own. She tore her eyes away from you and threw her head back, panting like a dog.
“Cum inside me,” you said and at the sound of your words, she didn’t hesitate, letting her orgasm crash into her body with full force. She moaned your name between gasps as she was hit by waves of bliss that slowly decreased in intensity as the milliseconds passed, pulsing through her entire body. She finally pulled out of you and collapsed on the bed. You both gasped for breath, your thighs and the sheets beneath you stained with lust. You were glad you hadn’t climaxed this time – you didn’t think you’d have survived it.
“That was fucking incredible,” Natasha admitted, turning her head to face you. You nodded in agreement, too fucked out to form a sentence, your limbs still shaking from adrenaline.
That morning, Natasha woke you up with her cock between your legs, already hard and ready for another round. Her hands only left your body during the mission and three days later after its success, she didn’t hesitate to fuck you senseless until you passed out.
A/n - I have an idea for part two so let me know if that's something you'd like.
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