#the pharmacist looked at me like “oh my god it was that bad?”

[cordeliawhohung]

[coolcoelacanth]

day 3 of my indentured servitude: already getting annoyed at my temporary coworkers and having to stand next to them for 8 hrs a day. theyre both middle aged women, one of which has more attitude than the other. like godddddddd idk why its so normalized for people to be rude for no reason why does nobody have manners. they're not horrible, but its just like little passive aggressive comments all day and im like 😑 girl im not even getting paid and i don't want to be here. im literally so overly polite to them all the time too bc thats just who i am as a person like idk how people can be sassy to people who literally have not wronged them.

[agi-ppangx]

💭roommates to lovers (100 followers special)

chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

“oh my god, are you okay?” you heard jisung exclaim as soon as he saw you in the kitchen. you were trying to make yourself some tea but your hands were shaking and you felt like you were going to faint. 

you woke up with the worst headache you’d had in your entire life. the night before you decided to come back from work by foot, since you were waiting to get your paycheck and didn’t want to waste your last money on a taxi. since the evenings were getting colder now and you didn’t wear a coat or anything that would keep you warm, you were now suffering the aftermath of the walk. 

“yeah, i’m just kind of tired,” you tried to sound convincing but your voice was so hoarse it startled both jisung and you. he obviously didn’t believe you, so he came closer to you and gently placed his hand on your forehead. “damn, you’re burning up,” he simply acknowledged and you looked at him. he was really close to you and for a split moment you wanted to just fall into his arms. 

some may think that it’s so cliche to fall for your roommate, but how could you not? jisung was always kind to you, he always knew how to make you feel better after a long day and knew when to leave you alone because you were too stressed and worn out. he was just so thoughtful and caring that you wondered if he would be the same as a partner. not that you planned to confess anyway.

“go to your room,” he ordered suddenly and you breathed a faint “what?”. “you heard me yn, you look like a ghost. go to your room and lay down, i’ll go to the pharmacy for some medicine.” you were caught off guard by his firm tone, but since you really didn’t feel good and you weren’t in a mood to argue you just nodded and did as he said. you covered yourself with a ton of blankets and quickly fell asleep. 

the noises outside your room woke you up. you heard some rustling from the kitchen as well as jisung talking to someone on the phone. after a while you heard a knock on your door and jisung entered the room with a tray in his hands. “how are you feeling? i made you some chicken noodle soup. i’m not sure if it’s good but i called my mom and she helped me cook it. she said it works wonders for the flu,” he said quietly and placed the tray on your bedside table. then he helped you to sit up and took the bowl with soup in his hands. you reached out to take it from him but he moved away a bit. you looked at him, confused and he just shook his head. “i’ll feed you,” he then stated and it left you dumbfounded. “ji, i may be weak but i think i’ll be able to hold a spoon,” you chuckled. “i know, i just… i mean, if you don’t want me to, it’s fine, here,” he responded nervously, his cheeks becoming pink, and he handed you the spoon. you took a glance at it and then it was your turn to shake your head. “it’s okay. go ahead,” you gave him a green light and after a while he started to feed you the soup. he was cautious, trying his best not to douse you with the soup. “okay, that’s enough, i can’t eat more,” you sighed after half of the bowl was empty. jisung raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. you saw his gaze and added “my throat feels like sandpaper, i physically can’t eat more”. he giggled at that and placed the bowl down. he then took some pills and a glass of water from the tray and handed them to you. “take this. according to the pharmacist, it also works wonders for the flu.” you laughed softly at his words. he was so caring towards you it made you delusional, you really wanted someone like him as your partner. you wanted him as your partner. 

you obediently swallowed the medication and you grimaced when you accidentally tasted one. “oh god, that’s awful,” you coughed and gave jisung the now empty glass. you laid down and it seemed as if you were drowning in the amount of blankets you were under. “you know it’s actually bad for you to cover yourself that much when you’re sick?” “but i’m cold…” you whispered. jisung gave you a soft look, seeing you all weak and vulnerable made his heart melt. he didn’t vocalise his feelings towards you, too scared to ruin your little friendship that developed throughout the past year of living together. 

“i know but it’s really not good for you,” he tried to convince you and you thought about it for a while. “fine, but maybe you could… um…” you started, but then shook your head and whispered a faint “nevermind” and simply took some of the blanket off of yourself. “hmm, what did you say?” jisung asked, too curious to let it slide. you thought for a moment and decided to ask him - the worst that could happen is him saying no. “could you, um, cuddle me? that way i won’t need all these blankets.” jisung stared at you, speechless. you started fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie, thinking it was a bad decision, but then he mumbled a simple “yeah, of course” and you felt as if a weight was taken from your chest. he soon laid by your side and took you into his arms. if your nose wasn’t so stuffed you would for sure inhale his cologne. he felt so soft and safe and it made you actually sob a little bit. jisung stroked your head, detangling some messy hair strands from time to time. it helped you relax and you closed your eyes, wishing you could stay like this forever.

after a while you suddenly heard jisung speak. “you know, sometimes i dream about holding you like this.” at first, you supposed he was talking to someone over the phone and you pretended to still be asleep, not wanting to interrupt, but then the meaning of his words hit you. was he speaking to you? “i’m glad i’m the one who’s taking care of you. i wish i could be with you and take care of you more and hold you in my arms more and just… i don’t know, just be with you yn,” he whispered and it made your heart ache. oh my god, did jisung also have a crush on you? “then be with me,” you simply said. it caught jisung off guard, when you opened your puffy eyes you noticed his frightened gaze and quivering lips. “are you serious?” he said, his words barely above the whisper. “i am.” “i’m gonna kiss you, okay?” “don’t, you’ll get sick” “i don’t care.” with that jisung captured your lips in a soft kiss, letting you set the pace. “i think i’m not cold anymore,” you giggled when you broke the kiss to catch a breath. and jisung laughed as well, caressing your now rosy cheeks.

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

[multific]

Attached to You

Modern!AU

Billy Hargrove x Reader

A/N: I'm not a doctor nor am I medically trained, so, there are things here which are incorrect. Please ignore them and try to enjoy the piece as it is. Thank you.

Summary: After a one-night stand, you find out you are pregnant, thanks to your doctor's bad advice, it turned out that your pills weren't effective. Leaving you with a baby, you have lots of decisions to make.

"I only told you because you deserve to know. I don't want anything from you. I will deal with this myself." 

Your words rang in his head over and over again.

It had been almost two weeks since he last saw you and now, he wasn't sure what he was doing.

Billy couldn't stop thinking about you. How you smiled at him even when he could see you were close to a breakdown.

It was all meant to be one night. Something he had done many many times before.

When he saw you sitting alone at the bar, he was quick to make his move. Flirting with you was easy as you blushed at every word he said. He soon learned about an ex of yours, the guy, as you explained, was rather obsessive about you and didn't want to let go of you, which is why you were hiding in a bar.

And so, Billy took this as a sign and brought you home.

It wasn't meant to end like this. He always made sure to have a condom with him. All the time. Of course, the one time when he doesn't, he gets someone pregnant...

But even so, you didn't look mad, you didn't demand money or anything from him. You just smiled and moved on.

He didn't even know your name. All he had is a phone number.

"You can delete my number as well. I won't look for you. All I wanted is for you to know since you are the father."

Father.

A word that scared him.

A word which meant nothing to him as he too, never had a father.

The realization hit him like a cold shower, he didn't have a father, so he knows just how hard it is to grow up without one, and here he was, the exact same as his.

He will have a child, who won't know their father. Who will go through the same pain as he did. Who will see their mother slowly crumble under all the pressure.

He is no better than his own asshole father.

This was unfair. 

He could run. Men could run from the responsibility since they weren't attached to the baby, but women couldn't.

---

Billy felt like a piece of shit. 

It had been almost two months since he last saw you.

And he couldn't help but wonder what 'dealing with it' meant for you. Did it mean you got an abortion? Or did you keep the child?

This was eating him alive.

He needed to find you and have another conversation with you. But you didn't pick up the phone nor did you reply to any text he sent.

He set out to the club he originally met you.

"Why the fuck did I think a pregnant woman would be in a club?!"

IF you were still pregnant.

The next couple days were awful for him.

Trying to find you, he went to the café you invited him to, no sign, he went to a hospital and asked if they knew about you. But of course, they couldn't give out any information.

You were all he could think about. 

You and the baby he might have already lost.

Billy didn't feel like himself. 

And then, one day, he spotted you. As he was walking down the street when he noticed you on the other side. 

He followed you like a creep.

Dodging people, running. He followed you. Tried to call out but since he didn't know your name, it was difficult.

You went into a pharmacy and he stopped by the front door. His heart was beating fast, not only from running.

"Hi. I have some pills prescribed for me." he could hear you say. The pharmacist took a look and turned to you. 

"Can I ask for your full name?"

"Y/N Y/L/N."

"You have... pregnancy vitamins prescribed by Dr Drew."

"Correct." you smiled. Oh God, that smile taunted him.

"Alright, let me get that for you."

He felt himself calm a little. Pregnancy vitamins. Why did they have to prescribe those for you anyway? But this meant you still had the baby.

"So, since this kind is... stronger, we recommend you take only one daily. If you skip a day do not take two the next day. Technically these are not vitamins, they are just called that. Is your pregnancy i-"

"The doctor said these are the best for my condition. So I need to take them."

"These are for you not the baby." she was rather rude as you tried to ignore her.

"I know."

"Alright, anything else I can give you?"

"Do you have any of those shooting creams? For when the skin stretches?"

"For the stretch marks? We have one, which is cold and another which is warm. One helps shoot the skin the other helps the marks to be less visible."

"I would like the one that shoots the skin, please. That would be all."

Billy watched as you paid for everything before he quickly exited so you wouldn't notice him.

Pregnancy vitamins... for you not for the baby. And you had a condition?

He watched as you walked away, but as you did a man ran into you. The man continued on while you nearly fell over.

"Watch where you are going, Asshole!" Billy pushed the man as he passed him, before he helped you. "Are you okay?"

He only realized that he was now holding your arm as you looked up at him. When did he get this close to you?

"O-Oh, yes. I'm fine thanks." he saw it in your eyes, you realized who he was soon after as you took a step back. "Thank you." you adjusted your bag before starting to walk and he knew he couldn't let you leave.

"Can we-Can we talk, Y/N?" he suddenly spoke up and you turned to him.

"If you want to." he nodded and you guided him to a nearby park and sat down on a bench.

An awkward silence filled the air. 

He knew he needed to talk. 

He took a deep breath.

"I was scared when you said you would deal with it, that you meant... abortion."

"I'm not going to lie, I thought about every option. It was one of them but... I decided against it."

"I-I heard you at the pharmacy..."

"Oh, you were there?" you looked up at him, genuinely surprised. 

"You got some meds..." he nodded as he pointed at your bag. 

"I-The doctor said it is okay to take pregnancy vitamins. But it turned out that I was the one needing them, not the baby. The doctor said my body puts the baby as a priority and takes away nutrition from me. We found out during my eight weeks when I asked the doctor if it was normal that I feel very dizzy. He did some checks and yeah. But... why are you asking me this?"

"Because for the last weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about you and the baby."

"You don't have to. You are not guilty or anything."

"I grew up without a father. I saw my mother going through so much shit. I don't want you to go through all that. I want to be a father to my child. Someone I never had."

You took a moment to fully digest what he just said. He waited anxiously for an answer. 

"Look, I will have a baby soon, a baby who can become attached. If they become attached to you and then you later decide that you don't want to do this... I believe that is worse. So, while I do appreciate your concerns, I was nothing more to you than a quick fuck. It is... unfortunate, that I got pregnant, but as I said it is something I am dealing with. So, please, if you don't mean it, don't get involved. You might think now that you want to be a part of this because you pity me or whatever, but if you change your mind..."

"I don't want to change my mind. Yes, it was meant to be a one-night stand but I can't ignore a child. My child. I'm not a coward. I want to be a part of the life of this little one." 

You looked into his eyes, trying to figure him out. He looked serious. Maybe he really had a change of heart during the last couple months. You pulled out your wallet and a picture from it. You handed it to him.

He looked at the ultrasound.

"I'm currently 11 weeks along. The baby is 41mm long. The doctor said it's the size of a fig. We don't know the gender just yet, but they are healthy."

"Healthy. Good." he wanted to hand back the photo but you didn't take it.

"I have more at home, you can have that. I have a check-up next week, you could come if you have time."

"I'll be there."

You stood up and were about to walk away when you turned to look at him.

"If you don't come next week. I mean without a good reason, I don't want you to come after. I am already very attached to this little fig, and I don't want them hurt."

"I'll be there, text me the time and place."

You nodded before saying goodbye and walking away.

He stayed, looking at the picture.

"My little fig." he smiled before he too, headed home.

---

Honestly, you were shocked to see him at the doctor's the next week. 

Every time he showed up.

He started to take you out to eat afterwards and started to ask more and more questions.

Billy asked you to move into his place which you didn't want but you did go over to his place many times.

You spent most of your weekends there. And lately, you even spent your nights there. In a separate room, but you did stay.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhhh! I heard babies can hear voices, I'm talking to them so they would recognize me when they are born." you shook your head as you continued to look at stuff on your phone. Subconsciously, one of your hands found his hair. You started to run your fingers through his locks as he continued to softly speak to the baby.

"We should get married." you nearly threw your phone at the TV.

"What?" you sat up so quickly you nearly gave yourself whiplash. He moved with you as he sat in front of you. The expression on his face was as serious as ever.

"You heard me. Marry me?"

"Why would I... What? No. Just because of the baby? That is-"

"Logical. We get married, you take my last name and the baby does too. It is logical."

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"What? Why?"

"You? Marriage?"

"Yes."

"Like in the old days? You get the woman pregnant and so you have to marry her?"

"I was thinking more about the baby and you. In case something happens to me, you two would be good on money."

"I don't want your money."

"I know you don't, I am giving it to you and the baby. We don't have to, but you can think about it."

"I honestly don't know."

"I know you probably wanted to marry out of love, fuck I never wanted to get married but here I am. With a baby on the way and with you. You are such an amazing girl, Y/N. I'm happy that you are the mother of my baby."

'"I'm very glad to hear that Billy, however, marriage is a big thing. Now don't get me wrong I have heard about people getting married for less and I'm not the biggest in the love department either. I truly believe you should marry someone you can see yourself for the rest of your life with and not be crazy in love with them but..."

"You told me this before. You said 'but you still believe that there should be love for marriage and not like love between friends.' And then you started crying because you couldn't explain yourself fully and I had to get you ice cream."

"Exactly."

"What would make you want to marry me?"

You placed your hand on his cheek.

"You might think now that its a good idea. You might think now that you would want me by your side forever, but I know Billy that one day, you would look at me and be disappointed that you married me because of our baby. One day you will be in a club, surrounded by girls and drinks and you won't think of me or our child, I want a loyal husband, and I wouldn't want you to throw the accusation at me, saying that you only married me for the baby and you would end up hating me."

"You believe that would happen? That I would regret it all and I would... what? Blame you for it?"

"Yes."

"You think that lowly of me?"

"No, I think that lowly of myself." you let out a sigh. "Look Billy, tell me that we are not here just because of the baby. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't pregnant. You would be out there as you were before. You don't want me, you want the baby. And that is completely fine. And it is all I can ask for. For you to love the kid. That's it."

"But I do love you. You are the mother of my child. How can I not?"

"Billy, please. You only care for me because of the baby. And I know that and it's okay."

Billy wanted to tell you that it wasn't true. That he truly cared for you. More than you could imagine.

He wanted to lift all of your insecurities and show you just how amazing you were.

But he did. Because he was afraid. 

Not of losing his old life, but of losing you. 

If you didn't believe him like this, he will prove his love in other ways.

---

You smiled as you saw the roses on the table. They looked amazing. 

Beautiful white roses with a little note.

You debated picking it up and reading it until you saw your name on the paper.

'To my beautiful wife' it read on the inside and it made you scoff.

Since when did he become such a romantic?

You let out a long sigh. 

Billy was trying way too hard. You were afraid one day he will realize this is not what he wants and just pack up and leave.

You were terrified that he will make you get used to his closeness and then pull away, leaving you to fall alone.

You really tried to keep your distance, to not fall in love or to not harbour feelings that would hurt you.

You really tried but it was very difficult because each time you saw his eyes sparkle as he looked at you, each time at the doctor's when he asked something about you or the baby, it made you feel so safe and happy.

When he asked you to marry him, you were ready to say yes. It was your first thought when he asked the question but then you realized your situation.

He doesn't love you to get married. He wants the baby around and that's fine.

You felt like you were lulling yourself into false realities and you couldn't let that happen.

Not with you becoming a mother.

Not with you knowing about his past. It felt like wherever you went you could see girls staring at you, eyeing you up and down. The dark thought of who he had slept with was always in the back of your head.

You knew you should let it go.

But it is easier said than done. 

You were making lunch when Billy arrived home.

"Here you are. I actually wanted to go out for food, but I guess its too late now."

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow. Thank you for the flowers." you gave him a small smile.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, they are beautiful."

"And the card?" 

"Card?"

"Yes, wrote it myself actually. Did you like it?"

You turned back to the oven and got the pan out. Billy only shook his head as he smirked before he left to take a quick shower.

Soon, he joined you at the table.

Eating the chicken you made.

"I have an appointment tomorrow."

"I know. It's baby gender time." he smiled.

"Yeah. What would you prefer? A boy or a girl?"

"Either is fine really. What about you?"

"I thought I wanted a son, but lately I have been imagining a little girl and I realized I would be fine with any really."

"Should we have one of those crazy gender reveal parties?"

"Oh gosh, no! You know I hate to be the centre of attention. I'm fine if the doctor tells us."

"Just an idea. Then I can at least finish their room."

"Oh, I did order more things. I wanted to wait for you with the furniture though. Since you want to paint the room."

"We will know the gender tomorrow, so I can paint this weekend, then we can look at furniture and finish it up in a couple weeks." he nodded. "We are a good team, Y/N."

"Yeah, we are." you agreed as you finished your chicken and went to wash your plates.

Soon, you felt his arms move around you as you put the dishes to dry.

The way he held you, you let yourself imagine what if he loved you. What if the baby wasn't an accident? What if he wanted to be here for you?

"Y/N, marry me."

"Billy," you groaned as you turned in his arms, seeing the serious expression on his face you fell silent.

"I am serious. I love you both so much, please, marry me." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, it was a jewellery box so it had to be a ring. And as he opened it, sure enough, it was. A rather expensive looking one at that. "I want to give you and our child the world. I want us to be a real family. Would you marry me?" You needed a moment to think.

"Yes. I will marry you." he smiled as he placed the ring on your finger, pulling you in for a breath-taking kiss.

"I love you so much." he said as his lips moved to your neck. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs as he lifted you and carried you to the bedroom.

"I love you too," you whispered to him as he began to remove your clothes, kissing your baby bump.

His eyes were filled with love, you couldn't look away.

---

The next day, you lay on the examination table with butterflies in your stomach.

You will finally know if you are having a girl or a boy.

Billy stood beside you, holding your hand as he smiled.

"As you can see, the head, two little hands and legs." the doctor said pointing everything out on the screen. "Are we ready to know the gender?"

"Yes." you said as Billy squeezed your hand.

"Let's see... Looks to be a little girl." she said as you looked at Billy whose eyes were glued to the monitor, smiling softly to himself.

"Then we can get the pink shoes you have been eyeing." you said as he finally looked at you.

During a recent trip to the mall, you found him in the kid's section when you were looking for some clothes. You found him standing there with a pink princess shoe in his hand as he smiled at the pink glittery object.

"Looks like we can." he said before he moved to place a kiss on your forehead.

You were really glad you judged him wrong.

You were glad he turned out to be a loving person and he grew into his potential. You knew he will be an amazing father and husband. 

Judging by the small smile on his face, it said it all.

The little girl had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers and she wasn't even born yet.

When the doctor left to print out the photos for you, he turned to you, kissing your lips.

"I love you so much." he said before moving back to look at the screen. In the end, it was Billy who became attached to you and your daughter. You felt a wave of happiness wash over you as all of your insecurities and worries left your body.

All that was left was happiness. 

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~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[coldvampire]

oh im gonna hsdgfjk

okay so three+ months ago i discovered I had a Fun Condition called perioral dermatitis. basically, just this Extraordinarily persistent face rash that looks like a bunch of small pustules in a circle around my mouth, but it also went around my nose and eyes. reacts to literally fucking Everything, deeply annoying to treat, even with antibiotics it takes weeks but usually months to clear. causes are ?? can be anything from inhaled steroids, face cream, toothpaste, hormones, etc. basically impossible to pinpoint. i have some guesses about what triggered it but ofc no real way to know for sure.

i go on 90 days of antibiotics. cool, whatever, condition dissipates but doesn't go away entirely. i think nothing of this bc I know even With oral antibiotics, it can still take months.

halfway through this treatment i develop arthritic symptoms. i also think nothing of this bc I have Some sort of illness undiagnosed anyway + family members have it so while I am definitely not happy w this development, I'm resigned.

i finish the pills.

less than 24 hours later, dermatitis has Returned. i know that allowing this to happen makes it worse and last longer. i cannot stress enough how bad it will be for my mental health if this happens. yes this probably sounds overly dramatic but I'm pretty sure watching my face flare up in any way is a legitimate trigger atp after dealing with cystic acne.

anyway. i book an appointment with my gp bc the pharmacist cannot refill the antibiotics. great except the appointment is at the End Of The Month, and I know this is going to be bad in a few days time. like, in the last few hours the inflammation has already accelerated, who knows how bad it'll be then, I'm assuming it'll be like I never even took the pills to start with. i am going to have a nervous breakdown.

mysteriously, the arthritis symptoms have Also started to decrease after stopping the antibiotics. that's weird, I think, that wasn't brought up in the list of side effects when I asked, but the timing is literally exactly when my face started flaring up so I know I definitely don't have those in my system anymore. i look this up, to see if there's a link.

'''acute polyarthritis''' also described as 'drug-induced lupus' are you Fucking Kidding Me

so i am now back as Square Fucking one for this shit, my skin is about to be so goddamn inflamed & I apparently can't even take the drug that was working to clear it up. because it causes inflammation in my joints.

and like i cant really express properly how mad this makes me lmfao because of Course. i spend a solid year on Accutane finally after being deterred for nearly a decade, i get maybe 4 months of enjoying my skin after I'm off of it and then This Shit. can i win?? can i Fucking win??????? no one else in my genepool seems to deal with this shit its just me and ohhh my god i am This close to walking straight into the ocean.

[starjxsung]

hiii bb. i hope you’re doing good <3 do my long-ass asks bother you?

but anyways! no, i feel you so bad. i usually fell asleep at like 2am and had to wake up at 6 for uni. and that’s really damaging for your health. i’m still getting used to it but magnesium and melatonin have helped me a lot with my insomnia. but im super lightweight in terms of taking pills so ill just sleep for a whole day if i take them together. so maybe you can look into that if you haven’t already. my mom’s a pharmacist so i got all the pill/supplement intel😅

i’m really sick of the insane amount of promos for this song as well. changbin posting a pic with him🙃🙃. i was like changbin honey angel baby ily but no. but i’m glad that a lot of people were commenting info about zionism and palestine under the picture <3 but so many others were supporting it🤕

im really sad that a lot of stays are boycotting silently too. education about these topics is so important!!! i’ve seen a lot of asks and comments about people who didn’t even know that ch*rlie p*th was a zionist or even what zionism is and when educated, stopped supporting the collab. there’s so many people who are unaware about the situation so shining light on the reasons can really change perspectives.

i love those pictures of momo sososososo much. she’s so bunny coded im obsessed. we r all momo stans here <333

my bf’s best friend came back from a trip to japan and he brought me a super cute hangyodon keychain. (he brought my bf a really really awesome studio ghibli greatest hits type of cd, i wish i took a pic to show it to you </3)

kuromi was like 5th which is consistent to where she was last year. i’m glad to see that other characters like pochacco and pompompurin are getting love though!

ily bb! i hope you’ve had the best weekend. and happy mother’s day to your mom & you 4 birthing queen momo 💘

(this is tofu literally helping me work on the presents and being a gift herself <3)

-🐈‍⬛

Hi my angel! Your long-ass asks get me through the days lately. They don’t bother me in the slightest !! 🫶

Thank you for all the wise pharmacist intel !! I will absolutely look into that. I need to hold myself to a better routine and be better about turning my phone off at night, but I always end up answering asks when I’m supposed to be sleeping and it’s just as therapeutic to me as rest is. It’s a constant battle 🫠

The Changbin pic 🤕 like skz never even use their instagrams all that much and all of a sudden we’re getting SO much stuff at the worst time possible ?? Where was this energy when I cared enough to interact with it 😭 the W Korea magazine covers too lorddddd everybody on my instagram knows I collect Felix magazines like a full time job and I had a few messages asking me if I’d seen his new covers. Had to politely share a story about why I’ll be quiet on my Felix shrine for a little bit 🤕 it sucks. Also absolutely agree with you about the education thing- I mean this has been an ongoing issue for 76 years now, but to pretend like it’s not EVERYWHERE since the escalation starting in October is just ignorant. It takes a few minutes to read through articles! People make tik toks! There are infographics! There’s so much information and to act like you don’t have time to do basic research is so silly.

Momo loves you right back 🫶💘!! She’s currently sitting in my window meowing at bypassers in my building and she’s very popular

Also the hangyodon keychain!!! That is so sweet of him oh my god!!!!!! I love love looooove hangyodon 🥹

Kuromi placing 5th makes so much sense if we’re going to give pochacco and pompompurin a little love too! Sanrio supremacy 🫶

PLEASE SEND TOFU ALL MY LOVE……. She is so cutie I’m so obsessed with her (and you) I love you angel!!!!! I hope you have the best weekend 💕💓💗🩷💘🫶👼 happy Mother’s Day to my favorite cat mama anon 🐱💓

[lyraeon]

oh my god I'm so angry right now

I finally decided to look up the negative reaction I had to Zofran that made the ER doc mark it down as an "allergy" last month as soon as he connected the dots.

turns out that a likely explanation for me being super, unbearably, painfully, I nearly fell off the cot multiple times, *squirmy* on top of having a bad fever, severe confusion, no ability to regulate temperature so I was shivering and sweating at once, and being at the mercy of my digestive system...

well I mean I know most of that sounds like heatstroke, but that unbearable restlessness was the part that the doctor was like "oh yeah like 1:200 have this, let me get you something for it and mark this down as don't have" (and then I failed to realize the nausea meds I had at home were the same drug until after the next hospitalization lol).

anyway yeah. seratonin syndrome. potentially. because I was also on SSRIs and they injected me with a drug that stops nausea by blocking seratonin absorption.

which I feel like really should have been a med interaction that at least one of the like 14 assorted medical professionals who saw me in the last couple months could have had some foresight on. or that at least the doc who noticed the reaction should have realized it was.

like there's a chance it's not that, it's a different side effect, but I've been given Zofran before when I *wasn't* on SSRIs and if it had any effect on me it wasn't significant enough for me to remember, because I found that restlessness to be an entirely new kind of torture to me. the closest I can come to describing it was an itch, but not in the way the sensation was, just in the way it was insatiable no matter how much I tried to move to relieve it. it didn't hurt, it wasn't itchy, just. thrash inducing and fear inducing because nothing worked to make me feel like I could stay still. the doc said "kind of like anxiety?" when I was trying to describe it and while it wasn't the same sensation exactly, it was the same persistence, so that may be my best analogy.

anyway I'm typing this up half to bitch about this having happened and half to tell you that if you also take zofran at all maybe double check that some of your symptoms aren't being caused by the supposed solution.

(this isn't saying it's universally bad; all medications have pluses and minuses and I am not a doctor, pharmacist, or anyone else qualified to speak in general terms. I know others who it works great for. but I feel like the effects here were easy enough to mistake for my nausea-related stuff getting worse that I wanted others to potentially know it)

[luveline]

tell me again on a good day [remus lupin x reader]

“Hi, pretty,” he murmured, tilting your head back to dot kisses from the corner of your lips to the centre. Your hand stuttered where it was moving from the attention. He covered it with his own and put you back on track. “That’s it, sweetheart.”

Your chest heaved. ”Am I doing a good job?”

“The best job,” his breathing turned shallow, eyelids drifting shut, “just like that.”

wordcount: 9.3k

summary: you’re pregnant from a terrible one night stand. remus only fancies you more for it.

tags: smut, hurt/comfort, first and second trimester of pregnancy, nsfw, marauders era, consensual but mediocre/uncomfortable sex at the beginning (not Remus), strangers to friends to lovers, not specifically muggle au but magic isn’t mentioned, breaking the cycle or something like that, she/her pronouns used for reader, fem reader, softie remus

Admittedly, you’d fucked up.

You were 21, living with your parents in the city. They were stricter than some. You had a 9.15PM sharp curfew, a 6.30AM wake up. You did everybody’s laundry, most of the cleaning and cooked 3 meals a day everyday for them. Call you fucking Cinderella, or whatever.

It wasn’t that bad. They didn’t force you to do these things, you knew it was expected, so you did it. They didn’t explicitly tell you that you couldn’t move out, it was never talked about, so you didn’t. They weren’t too keen on details, and you assumed a general brick wall were to be built between you and a life that was more than housekeeping and playing mediator.

They never mentioned boyfriends or, god forbid you, girlfriends, and so you never had one. You desired it sometimes - you were in your early twenties, most of your friends at that point had been having (terrible) sex for years. Your friends in school had all had boyfriends and slept with boys before you’d even been of age, and here you found yourself three years later having not known the touch of anyone.

For once, you wanted to do something unexpected. Your whole life had been written in stone from the day you were born. You took off your little cross necklace, went into town at 8.15 sharp, scoured the local for somebody mildly attractive, and you let him fuck you in an alleyway.

It was terrible, as things went. Dry as sand with your face pressed into unforgiving stone, your partner mistook your pants of general movement as pleasure. He said something wanton that should’ve been a turn on, like, oh, you like that huh?

“Yes,” you said. You were lying, of course, but felt trapped by indecision. Should you tell him to get off? You were shocked by how different this felt than how it looked in the movies or how it was described in books. It didn’t hurt so badly, a dull pinch, and then he was finishing. A horrible sound, like a fish learning it can’t breathe air.

He pulled away and you straightened, rubbing your cheek with your hand. You didn’t know how you felt or what you felt, only the slimey sensation of having been used. You pulled your trousers up and walked away, even as the guy started shouting for you to have his phone number.

No, you thought to yourself. No thanks. Maybe my parents were right after all, I should stick to cooking and cleaning. Rather a housemaid to them than some rando in the pub that couldn’t find your clit, even though it was literally right there, like a button. What could you do, draw an arrow?

You didn’t feel like touching yourself ever again at this point. When you got home at 8.34PM, you couldn’t help but think to yourself how you’d reckoned sex took a bit longer, and felt nicer, and as you filled the bath up with steaming water and undressed, you found you didn’t want to look at your body at all. You washed in between your legs with detachment and pushed your head under the water to sulk.

-

The boy working at the pharmacist was concerned about you, evidently. He’d been working here for maybe two years and you often saw him whilst buying topicals and once, embarrassingly, dioralyte for your mother. You’d thought he’d think it was for you and so had made a big show of seeming spritely. You didn’t know his name - he was shy, though lovely, and usually in the back while Lucy, your mother's friend, worked the counter.

You’d waited for Lucy to be out for her 5.45PM smoke break before going in. You went straight to the counter where he stood, hesitant and scared and cleared your throat.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” you said. You could barely get the word out. It was enough for him to look at you with recognition. His hand drifted under the counter, and he pulled out a pregnancy test.

“I didn’t get to ask my question.”

“You have that look of dread on your face, so I assumed. Sorry,” he said. You nodded, taking the box in your shaking hands.

You looked up at him. “Can I ask you something embarrassing?”

He smiled kindly. “That’s what I’m here for. Total confidentiality, and I’ll try my best.”

You swallowed past the lump in your throat and tried to come up with the words. “Is it supposed to hurt so much afterwards?” you asked him, the words cracked and cleaved from you, a vulnerability you hadn’t ever wanted to give anyone. But you had nobody else to turn to.

He leaned forward, his hand between you both. “No, sweetheart. No. It’s not supposed to hurt.”

You nodded to yourself and blinked hard - you’d known that. You just needed somebody to tell you.

“Is someone hurting you?” he asked in concern.

You shook your head vehemently and smiled at him, paying for the test and thanking him for his help. You didn’t feel like you were the one controlling your hands as you walked out, slipping the test into your bra. Your hoodie covered the lump of the box but you still hurried upstairs to your bathroom.

You sat on the toilet with your head in your hands, counting the three minutes like a child. 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4. When you reached 180 you kept going, until you’d counted to 300, 500. You pressed your fingers into your closed eyes until they hurt and your vision was blobs of black and turned to the test feeling suddenly angry.

“You better be negative,” you said, furious. “Be fucking negative.”

You turned the test over and felt instant relief - one pink line. Clear as day, bright pink on white. You threw your head up and laughed in relief, checking again.

There… faintly, the second pink line was developed. Your head fell back into your hands. Yeah, you’d fucked up royally.

-

That night you thought about the boy at the pharmacy. He was tall, handsome, but importantly he was kind, soft. The way he’d seemed scared for you, the compassion he’d had for a total stranger, and the way he’d said sweetheart like the word was made of stained glass, that if he said it wrong it would’ve cracked apart, had you making a decision - there was nobody else in the world who could know what had happened to you. You suspected he wouldn’t mind giving you advice on what to do.

You tried to look pleasant. Your rolling stomach, still the same as before despite the chemical reactions taking place inside, had you shifting uneasily from foot to foot.

The bell on the door tinkled as you came in. The pharmacist boy didn’t notice, enraptured in his friend, who sat on the counter kicking his legs like a child. He was laughing, a cigarette between his fingers. Lucy couldn’t have been here.

You didn’t bother pretending you were here for anything, instead walking up to the corner unabashedly (outwardly) and cleared your throat softly. “Hi,” you said.

“Hi,” the smoking boy said.

“Sirius,” the pharmacist boy scolded.

“Can I - I’m really sorry. Could I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, no problem. Fuck off,” he added the second part much more quietly to his friend.

The friend’s laugh was roaring. He winked at you on the way out. The pharmacist boy cringed, “I’m sorry about him.”

You put your hands down flat on the auburn wood between you both. “That’s okay.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

You looked at him wearily, trying to gauge if you could trust him with this.

“Complete confidentiality. Can’t even tell my boss.”

You nodded quickly, “Right,” you said.

When you failed to keep talking he frowned. “Do you want to sit down?” he asked, gesturing his flat palm at the three chairs in the tiny waiting area.

“I won’t get you in trouble?” you asked him.

“No, no. Lucy loves me.”

You found yourself sat facing him, an empty foam padded chair between you both. “I - have to admit, I’m not sure you owe me discretion with this, because it’s hardly related to the pharmacy. Or medication. Or anything. I just didn’t know who to ask, and-“

He leaned forward a tiny bit, and you took it as a cue to stop talking. “It’s encouraged that people come to us with health questions that aren’t an emergency. Is it an emergency?”

You frowned. “No.”

“Then this is a great place for you to come.”

You pinched the fabric of your skirt between your fingers and covered your knees. “The test was positive. I don’t know what to do.”

You’d both know this was going to be the topic of conversation as soon as you’d walked in. He had the kindness not to act surprised. “The first thing you should do is make a doctor’s appointment, they can give you lots of choices, check how you’re doing,” he said gently. Then, hesitantly, “Are you alright?”

You felt again as though you could burst into tears. “I’m fine.”

“Last time,” he sat up in the chair, voice quiet despite the emptiness of the room, “you remember what you asked me? How are you now?”

You could feel your cheeks growing warm. It felt so strange to tell somebody who didn’t know you these things. “I’m fine.”

“Forgive me for asking, but did you use protection?”

You winced.

“No, I know, I’m so stupid. What could I have expected, right?” you said rapidly.

His face was comforting. “You’re not stupid, okay?” he was speaking to you so softly, you couldn't bear it, looking down at your lap. “I only ask because after stuff like this, it’s best to go to the clinic and make sure nobody gave you anything, right?”

The overwhelmed feeling was building. You hadn’t thought about that, too caught up in the whole being pregnant scenario, and the realisation was like being kicked in the stomach. You spread your hands against your abdomen. “Right,” you agreed with him.

He got to his feet and weaved around the counter to shuffle through leaflets. He picked up a few and came to sit with you again, spreading the first one out in his hands. “This is the sex clinic near us. You can call this number and make an appointment, or you can walk in and sometimes they can see you straight away.”

He tucked it underneath his hand and showed you the next leaflet. “This is the number for the local midwife - she can answer any questions you have about being pregnant,” he looked up at you and smiled, “she might know more than me about it.”

There was another leaflet on what to expect in the first trimester underneath it.

“And uh,” he showed you the last leaflet. “This is for you. You want me to go through it with you?”

You nodded uselessly, eyes scanning the cover. Abortion: Your questions answered.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he began, without opening the leaflet, “if you want to have an abortion or you want to have a baby, the choice is yours. It’s completely legal to have one and you won’t have to tell anyone about it, and like me the doctor can't tell a soul about it.”

He inched closer again to show you the page. You caught it between your index finger and your thumb. “It might hurt, but it’s completely safe.”

You nodded. He passed you the collection of leaflets and you held them in your hands, unseeing.

“Are you okay?”

You blinked, a tear falling from your eye. You wiped it away quickly. “I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s scary. But you have a lot of choices.”

“I think that’s the part that scares me,” you admitted, laughing wetly.

“My friend had a baby when she was young,” he said, likely trying to distract you. You wanted to be distracted, so you asked, “Was she scared?”

“So scared. I couldn’t believe it. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and seeing her with no clue as to what direction to go in was startling.”

You wiped your face again.

“She didn’t want to have a baby?”

“She did. Her and James were thrilled straight away, truly. But she was still terrified… These things aren’t cut so clean, and it’s alright that you’re overwhelmed. It’s a really scary thing to happen.”

You knew it wasn’t a baby yet, but it could be. It’s been almost a month since you’d gone to that pub with misguided intentions, a week since you’d found out you were pregnant. You’d spent the days paralysed by what would happen but you’d also let yourself wonder, just a little, about what a baby would be like. Would it be loving and cuddly and charming? Would it burst your eardrums with its cries? Would it look like you? Would it be funny, and smart, and beautiful?

Maybe you wouldn’t feel so lonely anymore.

You breathed out.

“You don’t have to decide straight away,” he said, alarmed by your fresh wave of tears.

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be alright,” he tried again.

“I’m sorry. You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this. I’m sorry for crying.”

“It’s more than okay. I wish you wouldn’t, though. You’re much too pretty.”

You knew he was being nice for the sake of cheering you up: you had snot on your face. You pinched your nose and giggled despite yourself.

“Go to the clinic, make sure you’re good. They can give you some better advice than I did.”

“No, your advice was great,” you assured him, thinking much too hard about what was to come.

-

The next time you saw the pharmacist boy it was late, and you’d finally made a decision. You’d spent two weeks after that day at the pharmacist thinking about him and thinking about your situation. You went to the sex clinic and got the all clear, luckily, and then got your bloods taken to confirm you were definitely pregnant, which you were. You’d gone home and hidden away for a week, calling off work. You struggled to do your chores. Only when your mother had put you down for resting had you looked at her, really looked at her, and thought, I’m going to be a better mother than you. My daughter will never feel guilty for lying in bed after a long day. She won’t have to cook dinner for herself as soon as she learns how the oven works. She won’t have to cry herself to sleep, or ask strangers at the pharmacy what to do about her pregnancy. She won’t ever be alone like me.

You’d put your shoes and coat on, determined. The pharmacy would shut soon, half an hour if you were lucky and fifteen minutes if Lucy was in a bad mood.

The walk wasn’t far, you lived conveniently close to your town centre. Your legs burned as you traversed the steep hill leading to the pharmacy, and it made you think of how it would only get worse from here. The thought didn’t scare you, you realised. You were looking to it with an ironic sense of chagrin. Like, what can you do?

First things first, prenatal multivitamins. If you were going to do this, you were going to do it so well that nobody could doubt you. The pharmacist boy was there like usual. You smiled and made a beeline for him at the counter. “Lucy isn’t here, right?” you asked.

He put his fingers to lips. “She’s in the back,” he whispered.

“Oh,” you whispered back.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. I’m still pregnant, if that's what you’re asking,” you said this even quieter than the last, weary of Lucy, who didn’t respect patient confidentiality if it meant being the centre of attention, overhearing and telling your mother, who she knew well.

He laughed. The sound was like jade, shining and shot through with silver. “That’s not what I meant, but that’s great. If that’s what you want?”

You bit your lip. “I think so. I’m here for prenatals.”

He grinned. “And so responsible! They’re at the front.”

“I don’t want Lucy to see,” you confided. He nodded in understanding, eyebrows raised just slightly.

“Right…” he looked over his shoulder into the back room where Lucy was standing with her back turned, organising boxes.

“You go wait out the front and I’ll sort it,” he told you. “Quickly, before she sees you in here and tells half the town.”

You waited for him around the side, hidden from Lucy when she left. Five minutes later he emerged.

“I realised that I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine,” you said to him. He’d changed out of his polo shirt and was wearing a grey t-shirt with a coat overtop.

“You’re Y/N,” he said, pushing his hand into his coat. “I’m Remus.”

You could’ve crawled into a hole and died. “How’d you know who I am?”

He offered you the box of prenatals. They were the fancy ones, omega 3 and folic acid and all the good stuff.

“I’ve seen you around, you came in with your mother once”

“How much do I owe you?” you asked him, squeezing the box between your hands, brushing your fingertips over the Braille.

“Nothing, they’re a gift. Congratulations, sweetheart.”

“Thanks,” you murmured. He was the first person to know and perhaps he’d be the only to congratulate you.

“Remus!”

You and Remus both turned to the voice. There was a young man with glasses hanging out the window of a nice car. “Remus, are you coming? Who’s your friend?”

“Where’s Lily?” Remus called back. “You should not be driving!”

“I’m a perfectly adequate driver!”

“This is Y/N!”

“Hi, Y/N! Do you want to come for dinner?”

“James!” Remus had begun the word shouting and ended it in a shake of his head. “You don’t have to, of course.”

“Um,” your mind was blank.

“We’re having spaghetti!” James warbled.

“Oh, well I’m convinced!” you called to James. He grinned, pleased, and sat back properly in his seat. “Is it okay that I come?” you asked Remus quietly, following him across the street.

“Sure,” he said, holding the car door open behind the driver's seat, “James doesn’t bite. Often.”

“I do,” James disagreed, turning around to face you. He had pearly white teeth and thick, dark hair that framed his brown face in a rugged halo, like feathers, “I’m James.”

“Y/N.”

“Awesome,” he said, “are you Moony’s girlfriend?”

Remus cuffed his shoulder. “Fuck up.”

James didn’t show if he felt it, instead putting the car into reverse and maneuvering out of his parking space with little finesse. Remus gripped the console.

“It’s not that bad,” James smarted.

“It’s worse,” Remus said.

“Y/N doesn’t think so, do you?” James asked you.

You let them tease each other, the box of prenatal vitamins still clutched between your fingers. You were gripped with the sudden thought that they could be driving you to somewhere secluded to kill you, and then that if your daughter ever got in a car with a stranger and a boy she’d only had one proper conversation with, you’d kill her yourself.

“How’d you convince Lily to let you drive this thing?” Remus asked James. You remembered that James was the boyfriend of the girl Remus had said had a baby young, which explained the car seat and the toys in the back seat.

“I’m allowed to drive, legally. I did all the tests. She can’t really stop me.”

“I’m still not sure if you cheated or not.”

“I didn’t!”

You could feel eyes on you.

“So,” James said. “How did you meet Moons?”

“That’s me,” Remus said helpfully. “Don’t plague her, James, she met me at the pharmacy. Where else?”

James gaped at his friend. “Let her speak, good grief! You have the manners of a vagrant.”

You laughed. “I did meet him at the pharmacy.”

“When?”

“Couple weeks ago.”

“You’ve had a girlfriend for weeks and haven’t said anything?” he said, turning to Remus, wounded.

“Prongs,” Remus said. Your eyebrows creased at all these peculiar nicknames. “She isn’t my girlfriend, please. She’s a friend.”

“Well, any friend of Remus’ is a friend of mine.”

“Except Ayesha.”

James scowled. “Fuck off, Ayesha loves me.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said. “But I’m not his girlfriend.”

“That’s too bad for him and brilliant news for Sirius.”

Remus glared at him. James took his hands off the wheel to shrug, which had you and Remus both protesting wordlessly. “Relax, I’m such a good driver. I don’t even need to watch the roads, see, my skills are that good,” James said, covering his face. He parted his fingers to see through the gaps.

“Drive normally or I’m ringing your mother,” Remus scolded. You were gripping the seat for dear life as James did an incredibly fast turn down a driveway and stopped, in front of an incredibly lavish looking home.

There was a pale red-headed woman standing at the front door with a child in her arms, looking 4 or 5 years old, skin similarly tanned as his fathers and hair just as thick, though he didn’t have glasses. He was wiggling in her arms, cheering for his dad.

“Dad!” he called.

“Harry, my little man!” he cheered right back, rushing from the car to gather the boy in his arms. You followed Remus’ lead and got out, the door slamming shut behind you with more force than you’d meant.

“God, I’m sorry,” you apologised.

James turned with his son in his arms, a mirror of himself, and smiled graciously. “Harry, Lily, this is Remus’ friend Y/N. She’s come for dinner.”

“Spaghetti!” Harry shouted gleefully.

“Spaghetti!” James echoed.

Lily skirted around her small family to offer you a hug. “It’s nice to meet you!”

“You too,” you said.

You soon glossed over the awkwardness of meeting new people because the magnanimity and charm of their family made it impossible to feel anything except enchanted with them. They were a unit, you could feel it in everything they did, and Remus fit into it too. He picked up toys and stirred the spaghetti, even walked off to answer the phone when James was busy chatting your ear off and Lily was helping Harry wash his hands before dinner.

James set the table and insisted you sit down. “But either way,” he was saying, “it’s so fun to tease him. He’s a sensitive soul, you know?”

“I hope you’re not talking about me,” a new voice said. The boy who’d been smoking cigarettes the first time you’d gone to Remus for help was standing there, smiling at you like you were an enigma. You remembered his wink.

“Obviously about you.”

“I’m Sirius,” he said.

“I’m Y/N.”

“We’ve met before?” he asked, with the air that he knew the answer.

“Yeah, at the pharmacy.”

“The pharmacy,” he said. Everything he said was smooth and soft, though his face was earnest.

“Wine!” Lily shouted, “James, get the wine!”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said to Sirius.

He smiled. He was easy to talk to - they all were, sitting you down at their family table like you’d been there before, like the fifth chair had always been for you. James started to pour you a drink and you had to put your hand over the cup.

“Oh, I can’t,” you said.

The silence was palpable.

“I’m pregnant, not an alcoholic,” you said awkwardly.

“Oh wow, congratulations!” Lily said, clapping her hands together. Harry laughed at his mother’s happiness and started clapping too. James was side-eyeing Remus.

The boys were having a silent conversation. Sirius shrugged. “I’m not pregnant, Prongs,” he said, thrusting his wine glass towards James.

“Congratulations,” James said too, completely ignoring his friend in favour of clapping you good-naturedly on the shoulder. You shied away.

“Only a month, so nothing to be excited for,” you deflected, blushing.

“Not Moony’s, is it?”

“That’s so fucking rude,” Remus protested, “you can’t ask her stuff like that.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Sirius said, sounding not too sorry.

You curled in on yourself, poking at the spaghetti in front of you to avoid eye contact. “It’s not. It was - some guy. I didn’t know him.”

“Aren’t all guys just some guy?” Lily asked.

“You’re a misandrist,” James said, sitting down again to finish helping Harry eat his pasta.

“Are you excited?” Lily asked you.

You’d thought a lot about it. You weren’t sure if excitement was the right word, you were determined, more like, to do a good job, and to love someone. “I don’t think it’s set in yet.”

-

Something certainly started to set in when you hit the 12 week mark. You looked down one day and suddenly you had a small, almost unnoticeable distension of your tummy. Of course, you noticed, you’d spent hours over these two months pressing your hand to your stomach to try and feel something, any sign that there was more than just you in there.

And now you had it - a bump.

The morning sickness started two weeks before the bump. You were sneaky, trying not to disrupt your parents or show any signs of your pregnancy - everything was hidden. The books, the leaflets, the original test, all of them were stashed far under your bed where nobody would touch them. You’d started saving despite a rising wave of fear that it wouldn’t be enough. You wanted to move out and give your baby a loving home.

You told Remus this over dinner at his house. You’d become fast friends along with the rest of his friends, and so James had been there too. It had been perhaps the first secret you had told him - you wanted, earnestly, desperately, to be a good mother, and to do this you needed to get out of that house.

“Are they bad?” James had asked.

“What?”

“Your parents, is it bad?”

You didn’t talk for a while. Neither boy pushed the subject until you were ready.

“How did you know?” you asked finally.

“People don’t leave home unless they have to.”

And so the group of friends had helped you look for a place to live. You wouldn’t move out until you’d saved enough money, was the plan. Enough to cover 3 months rent and to start buying in preparation for the baby’s arrival, which was 6 months away. 6 months away was no time at all.

You told them this too. You were hanging around the pharmacy on your day off to keep Remus company and Sirius had had the same idea. You were sitting in Remus’ chair, his orders, your hand pressed to your swelling stomach.

“I think she’ll come too soon,” you said. Truth be told, you brought up your baby slightly too often. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“What, she’ll be premature?” he asked.

“Not too soon for her. Too soon for me.”

Remus patted your shoulder. “You’ll be fine.”

Your stomach kept growing. Your morning sickness went away mostly, though your stomach still turned whenever it wanted to. Your favourite foods tasted wrong now and you craved things you’d never tried, not to the excess of some other people, but enough that Remus would often indulge you. He’d fallen into the habit of phoning you on the days he hadn’t seen you, asking you how you were. You’d ask after his health, his chronic pain, his bouts of depression.

“I’m brilliant, Y/N, don’t worry about me. How are you?”

“You’re lying.”

“It’s been a long day. What do you want?”

“What are you talking about? Nothing.”

“You sound distracted. You’re craving something weird again, aren’t you?”

Your face glowed with the guilty pleasure of being known by another person. “I want to try pistachios. I’ve never had them, have you?”

He sounded like he was laughing over the phone. “Baby Y/L/N won’t like them, trust me.”

And yet he’d still shown up at your door an hour later with a little box of pistachios. Your parents had given you an icy silence afterwards, but it had been worth it.

You couldn’t wear tight clothes around them anymore, so you were almost always in a jumper. One you’d stolen from Remus, one you’d been gifted by Lily, and one you’d found on clearance at the supermarket. You could’ve bought yourself some maternity clothes, if you wanted to, but you dreaded the idea of spending your money on yourself instead of the baby.

During your fourth month of pregnancy, you had a really bad week. You were worn down, worried that you were affecting the baby, Remus was bed bound with pain in his upper body and feeling useless because of it.

You’d been skirting around your feelings for Remus for a while. You liked him as a friend - he was the best friend you’d ever had - and you worried you loved him. You’d been sitting on a park bench. You’d taken many initiatives to be a happier, healthier person which included long walks through scenic paths and moments of contemplation. Remus had made a habit of accompanying you after you both finished work. You sat thigh to thigh, him with a coffee, you suffering with water. You stared at his hands in jealousy.

“Not long now,” he’d said.

“I’m not even halfway.”

“It’ll go so quickly, sweetheart. You know that.”

You did know that. It just didn’t feel like it yet.

You’d talked about the sky, Lily’s new job, telemarketing, the cinema, Remus’ new medication, the super moon, the book he was reading. He’d showed you the cassette player he’d found in the charity shopped and you’d listened to the tape that had been inside, music that was sad and not the best you’d ever heard, but there was a 30 second period where you’d both looked out over the grass and the damp pathways, knees touching, when you’d felt a kick.

You’d gasped so loud and so suddenly Remus had spilled his coffee all over the ground. You apologised profusely, pressing your hand to your stomach.

“What? What?”

You’d slipped your hand under your jumper and shirt, pressing circles into your stomach until you’d felt it. Your baby was kicking. You’d looked at Remus, eyes full of joy.

You’d grabbed his hand and held it over the place where the skin was stretching. It felt weird, uncomfortable and a smidge tight, but mostly it was a confirmation. Your baby was real. She was real and kicking. Remus had looked at you like you were the most precious thing on earth and you were hard-pushed to get his hand from your tummy afterwards. So yes, maybe you loved him.

You clung to this memory on the bad days and longed to feel a kick again. She didn’t do it often yet, but Lily assured you they could get aggressive.

You visited Remus. He was on his sofa, looking as though the colour had finally returned to his cheeks.

“Feeling any better?” you asked him.

“I am,” he said. His voice was clearer than it had been in days. “How’s bump?”

“Bumpy.”

“How’s mum?”

You flopped down on his sofa next to him. “Don’t call me that.”

He let his arm come around your shoulders in an imitation of a hug. You let your head fall on his shoulder. “How are you then, sweetheart?”

You scrunched your eyes shut. “I think I’m sick. It’s dangerous for me to be sick. What if something happens?”

“You’re not sick.”

“How do you know?”

“Do you have any cold symptoms?”

“…”

“You’re not sick. You’re tired. Go sleep.”

“I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about my scan.”

“That’s days away.”

“What if something’s wrong?”

“It won’t be.”

“You don’t know that,” you mumbled into his arm.

“I know it’s,” he struggled for the words, “not my place, but if you want me to go with you, I will.”

You’d gone to your first scan alone. The sonograms of her, so small, hadn’t felt real. You kept the picture in a box of crackers in your room.

“I actually wanted to ask you something.”

You looked at him and realised you’d ignored his question. “Of course I want you to come.”

He nodded, looking filled with something. “Do you… like me?” he asked.

You kept your head in his shoulder. “You know I do.”

“Right, but do you like me? Because I like you.”

“You like me?” you asked incredulously, frozen.

“I’ll take care of you,” he said, voice wilting. “I promise.”

“You don’t have to say these things, Remus. You don’t have to take care of me. I’ll be alright.”

He pushed the hair back from your face. It was strange to be having such a serious conversation in such a relaxed position. You supposed he was so tired, like you were. And you both knew that although you had your own reasons to doubt yourselves, the love was there.

“Tell me again when I’m having a good day and I’ll believe you’re not just trying to save me,” you whispered.

“I will,” he promised. “I will.”

-

You sat with Remus in the waiting room of the ultrasound, leg jumping. He didn’t mind, reading the leaflets and posters tacked on the wall aloud for you to calm you down. It wasn’t working. This was your mid-pregnancy scan, you were 21 weeks along and looked it in today’s outfit, and you were terrified.

Remus put his hand on your leg. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“It’s fine.”

“It is not fine!” you said angrily, your hormones getting to you for once.

“You’ll love her no matter what, won’t you?”

“Of course I will!”

“Then it’s fine. Here, have one of these,” he said, offering you a worthers from his pocket. You took it roughly and then felt bad. “Thanks,” you said apologetically, mouth full.

“You’re welcome. Try and relax,” he soothed.

Soon you were called in by a stout, grumpy woman who called Remus ‘dad’. You didn’t bother correcting her, too nervous and your bladder so full that your mind couldn’t focus. You laid out on the table, hands shaking from the nerves. Remus deftly slid his fingers between yours and held your hand to his chest. You both watched the screen in morbid trepidation, and there she was.

The ultrasound technician worked mostly in silence, taking measurements and clicking buttons you didn’t understand.

“You want to know the gender?” she asked gruffly.

Remus was halfway through a yes, please, when you said, “Is she alright?”

“She’s fine. Beautiful, really, everything in order and she’s big for her age. 93rd percentile.”

Remus brought your joined hands to his mouth to kiss your knuckles and you promptly burst into tears.

-

“I’m so happy she’s okay,” you told him later, walking down the hallways with your cold, sticky stomach hidden back under your clothes and a biscuit and a napkin in the other. Remus was leading you by the hand down the hospital from the cafeteria, where he’d just bought you your buttery biscuit. You’d been so sick with worry you hadn’t been eating properly and he was determined to get some sugar in you before you crashed. Next he was thinking he’d force feed you something hearty before he sent you to bed for the foreseeable future.

“You’ve been taking great care of her,” he complimented you, grateful that you’d allowed him to hold your hand for so long.

Remus had fancied you since the day he’d first seen you and everyday after that, even when you’d come into the pharmacy looking peaky and then the second time, when you’d cried.

He wondered if today counted as a good day for you - it must, surely? Would you accept his confession now?

All he wanted to do was lie you flat in his bed and kiss you silly, sometimes. He’d settle for holding your hand. You realised eventually that you were still gripping onto him and so you squeezed his fingers a final time and let them drop, eating your biscuit ravenously.

“How’d you know she was a girl?” he asked you. Right from the start you’d been saying ‘she’.

You put your hand right at the bottom of your abdomen. “I just knew. It never occurred to me that she wasn’t.”

“Are you going home to yours or coming to mine?” he asked.

“Can I come to your house? I want to be happy about this out loud for a while longer,” you told him, wiping your fingers clean on your napkin.

“‘Course you can.”

You got a taxi home. He felt right as rain today and would’ve enjoyed the walk, but you’d been complaining of sore feet lately, and the bus was always so crowded out of the city.

“I’ll have to move out soon,” you said in the taxi. “They’re worse than before, and I’m getting more and more obvious. I left a breastfeeding leaflet on my bedroom floor the other day and only noticed it when my dad was standing in the doorway.”

“James says his mother can put you somewhere if you have an emergency, and you know you can stay with me,” he said lightly.

“It’s hardly an emergency… yet,” you said. “Anyways, the longer I stay with them the more money I can save for baby.”

“‘For baby’?”

“What else should I say?”

“The baby?”

“Well, she’s not the only baby, she’s just mine.”

He laughed at you, eyes drifting down to your lovely round belly. The pregnancy glow that people talked about was absolutely real, Remus would testify, he would swear it in court. You were gorgeous even tired and stressed, and he couldn’t help thinking about it now as you rubbed your hand up and down your stomach. Did it make you more attractive to him, how intensely you loved the life growing inside you? Maddeningly. He’d found you beautiful before. Now, you were angelic.

“Listen,” he said, “it’s only going to get harder from here. You’re so tired sometimes, you do too much. If you move out you can rest.”

You shook your head. “I have to work anyways, I can’t rest.”

“You can’t work and play housemaid.”

“I don’t play housemaid,” you said, scowling. He regretted his words, regretted how your good mood fell away.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said.

You huffed. The taxi pulled up outside Remus flat and he paid, holding the door open. You said thanks with little attitude so he assumed he was forgiven.

“When baby's born I’ll have to work. If I can’t handle this now I won’t manage in a few months, and I need to be able to manage.”

Remus huffed a laugh. You didn’t say much in the lift and he didn’t mind, watching you in the mirrored wall. You walked out of the lift and he opened the flat door, where you wasted no time sprawling out on his sofa, careful of your bump.

He stood in the doorway, hesitant to bring it up again.

“Do you remember what I said to you? I’ll take care of you,” he said quietly, standing just in front of the closed door.

You stared at him.

“It’s a good day, isn’t it?” he asked you.

“Remus,” you started.

“I’m not saying you would stay home and play housewife all the time, but you need to rest and I want you to. I want what’s best for you, sweetheart.”

Your hand drifted to your tummy.

“Move in with me for now. Get your own place when you can - or don’t, I don’t care. And when baby comes you can finally stay still for a bit.”

"Remus."

"It's not a misaligned need to save you, or pity or worry or whatever you're telling yourself. You said to tell you on a good day and you'd believe me, so believe me.

"And if you don't want me, that's okay too. I just want you to know you have the option.”

"Of course I want you. I don't see why you want me, is all,” you said, pushing yourself up into a sitting position. “I’m pregnant, Remus, used goods.”

“Tell me you don’t think that of yourself,” he pleaded.

You smiled at him placatingly, in a way that made him want to wrap you up in bubble wrap, before looking down at your hands. “It’s true.”

He took careful, slow steps towards you.

“Your being pregnant doesn’t make you used goods. You can have as much sex as you like and you still wouldn’t be used. You’re funny, and smart and kind and pretty; you get prettier everyday. And the way you take care of you to-“ he gestured to your stomach, “to take care of her, that makes you the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

You held your hand out. He gave you his, heart pounding, and you put it against your stomach, smiling at him softly. “Alright, Remus. I believe you.”

-

“And you’re sure it won’t hurt the baby?” Remus asked, lips pressed to yours, hand just below your chest.

“I’m positive,” you said, giggling.

“But how can you know?” he asked, looking down at your baby bump sceptically.

“Lily told me so,” you said, hands already teasing the waistband of his dark jeans. Remus pressed you down flat against his pillows in a move he knew you enjoyed, having performed it many times in the month you’d been seeing each other officially.

Your hair spread out behind your head. You looked up at him, your bright eyes shining like the setting sun, lidded and charged. He licked a stripe up your jawline to make you laugh, unbelievably pleased when you did, batting his head away gently.

His hand crept under your flowing maternity smock shirt to explore your chest, deft fingers quick to locate your perked up nipple. Your breasts were heavy, tender under his touch - he loved the catch in your breath when he pinched your skin.

“And how does Lily know?”

“She’s been pregnant.”

“She’s not telepathic.”

“Remus,” you said, tone coloured with humour. “Do you really believe you’re big enough to reach my womb?”

He pinched slightly harder. You moaned and wiggled underneath him where he sat atop your thighs. He grinned in satisfaction and took the hem of your shirt between his fingers to pull it up to your neck, exposing your tits, which bobbed up and down with your moving chest.

“You’re giving me dead legs,” you complained.

“You liar,” he accused, face screwed up in disbelief.

“Take your trousers off, won’t you? Ease the load.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” he asked, hand pressed to his chest.

“Depends,” you said, hands coming up to cup your tits, “is it working?”

“No,” he said lovingly, kissing the skin where your chest started to rise.

You moved your hands to his hair, brushing it out of his face with featherlight movements. “It won’t hurt again, will it?” you asked tentatively, lips pressed together in concern.

“No, sweetheart. As long as you’re ready, it’ll be fine. It’ll be more than fine. And if it hurts at any point, you tell me and we’ll stop. Okay?” he told you.

“Alright,” you said, chest deflating as you relaxed. He kissed your skin again and clambered off of you to strip until he was in just his boxers, helping you out of your shirt and thick, stretchy leggings.

He’d wondered a lot in the last month how you’d look completely nude. You hadn’t brought up sex once since he’d kissed you on the sofa, and so he’d assumed you’d let him know when you were ready, until one day you’d asked him, “Do you find my body unattractive?”

He’d cleared that up straight away. You really hadn’t been ready to have intercourse yet. Instead, you’d tried lots of different things beforehand that had proved mutually pleasurable for you both.

He was blown away by the sight of you - your legs were a feat of nature, truly. He took it upon himself to kiss up the length of them, amused by your shy smile, until he was face to face with your underwear, your legs pushed up as much as you could manage so he could lie between them. His thumb found your centre, pushing up into the flesh of your clit, the bud soft and warm under his touch, and your breathing hitched. He repeated the action, drawing soothing circles in the fabric, and soon your breaths were fast and shallow.

He pushed your underwear to one side and teased the line of your slit with his fingertip, circling your dampening entrance slowly. “Have you ever done this before?”

“No,” you said quietly. He nodded, pushing the beginnings of his middle finger inside you with extreme care. He flicked his eyesight between your face and his movements. Your mouth was open. If he went any lower down your bump would get in the way and he was determined to watch your expression, so he balanced on his elbow.

You were tight around his finger. He worked slowly and added the second, encouraged by your twitching thigh. He pushed in to the knuckle and you gasped. When he looked up you’d pressed your fingers to your mouth.

“Hurts?”

“No,” you said quickly, and then flushed.

“Swear?”

“It feels nice, stop fishing.”

He grinned, he had been fishing. He scissored his fingers inside you, wetness starting to really work out of you and ease his pumping. He adored the breathy sounds that floated out of you. His fingers pushed to the hilt, Remus set about finding your g-spot, or any pleasure he could give you, curling his fingers inside you. You gasped again, covering your whole face with your hands.

“You liked that, huh, bub?” he asked, curling his fingers again. You moaned in confirmation.

Remus pushed up onto his knees to regain control of his other hand and used it to circle your clit again. You were overwhelmed at first by both sensations and quickly got used to them in tandem, whispering for Remus to go faster.

“Faster?” he repeated.

You nodded. He quirked his wrist so that every thrust of his fingers had his knuckles flat at your opening. Your self-restraint was weaning and you couldn’t stop from moaning loudly, hips bucking to meet his thrusts, cunt shiny and reddened from the repetitive force against it.

He didn’t rush, taking great pleasure in your pleasure. Although he was no stranger to you, he felt like he was learning so much from the way you trembled, the lilt in your moans when he curled just right.

You caught his wrist. “I’ll finish,” you protested.

He paused, smiling up at you. “That’s the point.”

“I want to when you’re inside me,” you said.

He groaned, feeling his aching dick twitch in his trousers at the sentiment. “It’s not pay-per-cum, you can do it again.”

You laughed so loudly your voice cracked. “What’s wrong with you? I’m begging you to fuck me and you’re a comedian now?” you said, a splitting smile on your face.

“That was hardly begging. More like gentle encouragement. You can do better.”

You shifted, lost now he wasn’t touching you. “You’re really gonna make me beg?” you asked softly.

“Yes,” he answered, prodding your clit again. You jolted at the contact and closed your eyes, knees tilting inwards.

“Remus,” you tried, voice wavering, “please. Please, will you fuck me?”

“All you had to do was ask,” he said, and then, perhaps cruelly, rubbed a tight circle into your clit until you were crying out, back tensed.

He watched your cunt contract with fascination, felt his mouth go dry. He was straining against the fabric of his trousers. His hand slipped under them with hardly a second thought,

You opened your eyes reluctantly and figured out what he was doing, stretching your hands out towards him. “Can I?” you asked. He crawled across the rumpled sheets to kneel in front of your face. You turned onto your side and took his cock into your hand, touch like silk, clumsy despite previous attempts. He didn’t care in the slightest, hand rubbing up and down your shoulder as you played with him, tracing the soft pad of your index finger in a circle around the head of his dick. You were being your lip in concentration, so he held his hand to your face and pulled your cheek with his thumb.

You looked up at him quizzically. “Hi,” you said.

“Hi, pretty,” he murmured, tilting your head back to dot kisses at your jawline. Your hand stuttered where it was moving from the attention. He covered it with his own and put you back on track. “That’s it, sweetheart.”

Your chest heaved. “Am I doing a good job?”

“The best job,” his breathing turned shallow, eyelids drifting shut, “just like that.”

He dragged your hand up his shaft until he was confident you wouldn’t stop and set both hands at the slope of your shoulders, rising up your neck to bury them at the base of your skull, fingers weaving through your hair. You leaned forward to plant a kiss on the side of his abdomen before dropping down to do the same to his dick. He held your hair back as you worked him, sucking the head of his cock in your mouth.

You swirled your tongue around it like he was a lollipop. He encouraged you forward, careful not to fuck into your throat. Your morning sickness was mostly gone nowadays but your general nausea was like a faulty fuse. You bobbed up and down on his cock so that the head distended the soft skin of your cheek until he was covered in your spit.

He pulled away. “Be careful.”

You didn’t even have the decorum to look scolded, instead laying flat on your back again. He held your head up to push another pillow underneath your neck.

He pulled you sideways so you were on a diagonal, pushing one of your legs up to rest on his thigh. He rubbed the head of his dick at your entrance. You visibly held your breath.

“What did I say earlier?”

“Uhmmm…”

“Tell me if it hurts. I’m not joking.”

You gifted him a soft upturn of your lips. “I will, silly.”

“I’ll show you silly,” he said under his breath.

He pushed into you steadily, his thumb on your cunt to pull at your entrance. The other hand was gripping your waist, holding you in place. He pushed inside you with his teeth grit, pleasure going straight to the pit of his stomach as he inched forward. Your leg you were using to keep yourself in place was shaking. He pulled it down flat to relieve the strain, the other pressed to his chest.

His pelvis pressed to yours. You mewled, your fingernails digging into his hand on your hip. “How’s that feel, sweetheart?” This was your second time having penetrative sex, and he wanted it to be better than the first. You were abstracted, gaze clouded up where it was on his face. He pulled out to push in again, this time smoother, quicker. “Feel okay?”

“It feels nice,” you said quietly.

“Only nice?”

“It feels good,” you whined, his thumb further antagonising your clit.

Remus thrusted into you, spreading your tight cunt open. He could hear in your moans that you liked the stretched feeling, and your wetness was further evidence. He pushed into you, over and over, increasing his speed as you relaxed. He was hesitant to use an exorbitant amount of force, pacing himself when he longed to hit your walls, reshape you around his hard cock.

You were pleading, saying something quietly, washed out by his thrusts.

“Speak up, baby,” he said, holding your leg to his chest, allowing his dick to drive even deeper in your dripping cunt.

“Please, Remus,” you said, reaching between you both, a look of ecstasy on your face.

“What, baby, what do you want?”

“Faster,” you moaned. Well, he was never one to deny you, careful not to lean his weight on your abdomen as he adjusted, fucking into you and pulling you down to meet him simultaneously. You were overcome by this, pressing the side of your face into the cushions, mouth open and panting. Remus fucked into you so quickly he was panting himself, barely stopping to grab your wandering hand.

Your weeping cunt was soiling the bed sheets, a translucent circle formed beneath you. He couldn’t believe how wet you were, and slowly found it difficult to find purchase on your clit with one finger. He pressed all of his fingers in your sensitive button instead and opted for quick, fast lines of movement whilst he plowed into you. A moan like a half-sob left you, your hips tensing up under his hand.

“Fuck,” you said, throwing your hips down into his cock, spearing yourself open, “oh my god, Remus.”

He pushed into the hilt and towered over you, pushing your upper leg back as much as he could, weary of your bump. From there he fucked you deeply, hitting your tender spot over and over. You could barely look at him, barely speak, a stream of curse words and compliments slipping from your mouth. He hooked your leg over his shoulder and kissed your knee cap lovingly.

“Gonna cum again, sweetheart? I know you can.”

You looked as though you might start crying, tears clinging to your eyelashes. “You’re so deep.”

“Uh-huh, so deep in my girl. You take me so well, you know? So well,” he said, punctuating the praise with another deep thrust. You clenched around his dick and he groaned, the drag of him pulling out like heaven, your second release written all over your face.

He pinched your clit spitefully between his index and middle finger and smirked when you came, your leg over his shoulder digging in hard, your cunt clenching around him so tightly he had to pull out. He watched your pretty wet entrance clench around nothing, slick dripping out, with a regretful grin, lips pressed together. Once you’d calmed down enough to open your eyes he pushed back in, hand still on your clit. You reached between you both to steal his hand away, too sensitive for the prolonged stimulation.

“So fucking hot,” he said, so turned on he was sure half the mess between you both is his own precum. His dick pushed into your still trembling cunt, his head aching and so sensitive he had to stop inside you and take a breather, kissing the crest of your stomach, the skin between your tits, and then finally, slovenly, your soft, perfect mouth.

You brought your hands up to his face to keep him there, even though it was a terribly tight squeeze, your stomachs pressed together. If he’d been any shorter it wouldn’t have worked.

After a moment he pulled back to lean his forehead on yours. You were looking at him with wide, wet eyes, so full of fondness and pleasure that he came in you without thinking, a series of short shallow thrusts that milked his cum out of him relentlessly. He gave it a few thrusts for good measure, the mixture of you both seeping out and covering his pelvis.

You were giggling, fuck-drunk and blissed, kissing the length of his arm. “Good thing I already have a bun in the oven.”

He laughed too, pressing a wet smacking kiss to the skin just in front of your ear that had you squealing in protest. “Good thing,” he agreed, the flat of his hand pressed to your stomach.

<3

hi thanks for reading! and now for tag club :3:

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if u want to be added or removed please let me know tysm !

[livingkore]

The Perfect Girl (Part 1)

TW: drugs, mention of miscarriage (not reader’s though), curse words, silly grammar mistakes ‘cause English is not my first language.

Notes: This was supposed to be a long one-shot but I got carried away, so there’s gonna be a second part but it’s not gonna be a massive fic. Also this is my first time writing, I guess this is what Eddie Munson does to people, huh. 

"Oh my God, Chrissy, are those the new Nike bike shorts?" Cindy asked dramatically pointing to the girl's legs.

"Yeah..." she giggled "Yeah, my aunt went to Indianapolis last summer and she gave them to me."

"Ah, of course" Cindy laughed uninterested "It must be nice to be able get new clothes, not like Hawkings lastest..."

Y/N couldn't hear anymore of that conversation.Maybe it was the blinding lights in the cheerleading locker room, or maybe she couldn't stand Cindy Davis' attitude,or maybe it was the throwing headache she has been having for a few days that didn't help at all.

She rolled her eyes, she would have to shower at home.

"Are you leaving so soon?" Cindy asked her with a frown on her face.

"I am, I'm not feeling very well, I- maybe I should recover at home, you know, I don't want to be sick for the next match."

"Sure, we can't be all Superman"

'What was that supposed to mean' Y/N asked herself.

"How do you know about Superman?" Janice asked at her side, tying her shoes.

"How could I not?" the leader of the cheerleaders scoffed "Have you seen Christopher Reeve?"

"Yeah, well I'm going, so see y'all later"

"Take care, Y/N" Chrissy said.

--------------

Maybe it was Cindy, after all, because the moment Y/N left the school, she felt much better. Still she chose to walk the long way home through the forest. 

It hadn't been a particularly rough week. In fact, it was Wednesday and still she felt like a Sunday Morning.

Suddenly, she blinked. But it was the longest blink she took.Once she opened her eyes, she saw static everywhere.

Damn, maybe she fell and had a concusion? She couldn't remember.

Her head was spinning and so seemed the ground all around her.

"Hey, hey, hey!" a voice at the distance snapped her out of it.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled.

"What? What for?"

"N-nevermind" In front of her stood no other than Eddie Munson, with a curious and worried look on his face.

"Are you okay? Am I okay? Do I have something on my hair? Why are you looking at me like that?" he carefully touched his long locks.

"N-no, no. What? Like what?"

"Like I've got something on my hair."

"You're fine Munson. I-" She suddenly stopped "You sell drugs, right?"

"Shh, sh, sh, sh, shhh!" he interrupted her "Are you out of your mind? You can't go saying those things!"

"Everyone knows, anyway"

"Everyone except the police, it seems. Why are you-- Oh my god, don't tell me that Hawkins' Sweetheart Y/N L/N is going down a bad path!" he gasped audibly.

"I don't know what are you talking about. I'm not Hawkins' Sweetheart"

"Of course you are... I mean, with the whole cheerleading look and the good grades... and your friends..."Y/N continued walking, not knowing how her body could react to the compliment.

"I have had this headache for days, don't you have anything for that?" she tried to ignore him.

"I'm not a pharmacist, sweetheart. Don't you have an ibuprofen at home?" Eddie the Freak walked by her side.

"It's not doing anything. There is a match next Friday, I can't keep feeling like this."

"Do not fret, L/N. I think I have something that might be able to help".The boy pulled up a ziploc bag out of the pocket of his pants.

"How much is it?" She asked wincing.

"For you? 20 bucks, what do you say? You'll sleep just fine."

"Deal" ------------------------ It's been two days since she last spoke to Eddie Munson and yet she didn't feel any better.

Perhaps because she didn't smoke anything since that last day.

How could she when she had never tried weed before? She was scared of how her body would react and how was she suppossed to roll up a joint?

She sighed, her forehead touching the cold steel of the locker. It's not like she could go and ask him without risking her reputation.

"Hey, why the long face?" Chrissy asked next to her. "We got a match in like half an hour and later Jason is throwing a party, so even if we loose there is no reason to be sad."

"Oh, I don't know about a party Chrissy, I've been tired lately."

"Come on! You're gonna have a great time"

-----------

Y/N sobs could be heard from the hall, but she didn't care. She didn't know at what point she ended up in an empty and dark classroom. The pain was unbearable and it made her extremely photophobic. 

It was alright, though. Her crying got lost over the people cheering Hawkings victory. Or maybe they were already at Jason's.

Suddenly the classroom door open violently making her scream.

"Jesus Christ, L/N. You scared the shit out of me!" a familiar silhouette put his hand on his chest "I thought there was some kind of shapeshifter calling for its prey"

In the entrace stood once again Eddie Munson.

"A-Are you insane?!" she yelled "Are you stalking me, Munson?"

"What? I'm not that of a freak. What are you doing here?"

She passed right next to him, her face illuminated by the moonlight.

"Nothing, I'm leaving." She opened the classroom door.

"Have you been crying?"

"Good night, Munson"

"Wait, can I help you?" She was leaving, dammit. It wasn't time for her body to freeze. "I assume the weed didn't help, right?"

She slowly turned around and with a embarassed whisper confesed:

"I didn't smoke it."

"Why not? Weren't you supposed to smoke it before the match?"

"I don't know how, alright?" she sighed frustrated "I've never smoked, I can't do it alone." The boy smiled tenderly.

"You could have asked, you know. I'm up for a smoke anytime"

"You know I can't" the girl frowned.

"Of course you can, it’s not that-- Oh, I get it." his enthusiasm dissipating in the air "Hawkings Sweetheart can't be seen with Eddie the Freak."

"Don't say it like that" she tried to look anywhere else.

"Like it is?" He raised his eyebrows.

"It's not like that..."

"Then you'd come to smoke one, right?"

"Right now?" It was her turn to raise her eyebrows.

"Yeah, right now. Friday night. I've just finished a campaign and I've got nothing else to do tomorrow."

"Sure, now it's a good time, I guess".

-------

"Ah, here we are." He welcomed her to his trailer "It's not Steven Harrington's house but..."

"I think it's lovely" She smiled not knowing where to look.

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah, I think it's got personality... just like you, actually" she said staring at a couple of beer bottles in the corner.

The silence dominated the conversation for a moment until Eddie exclamed:

"Aha! This is on me, keeep your stash for another day"

Y/N felt like a pigeon entering an office. She didn't know where to face, she had never been in a place like that. It sure wasn't Steve's house, but it still looked like it after a party.

She slowly walked to Eddie's bedroom, where he was waiting for her in a big matress on the floor. His bed.

It was an interesting place, to say the least. A big old amp stood there in a corner while an electric guitar hanged in front of a mirror. She noticed it was the only thing shining in there.

"Come on! I should be the shy one, I didn't expect any visitors. Let alone for Y/N L/N to stood in my room." He said with a cigarette filter in his mouth "Not that you see me complaining".

She looked at the boy, almost remembering he was in the room, and sat in the matress, noticing some stains.

"Yeah, those stains... "Munson looked around for answers "Those stains... I- I don't know what they are. They could be anything, really." Y/N giggled for the first time in the week and she wasn't stoned yet. "I really mean it." he continued "When I said, I didn't expect visitors tonight, I mean. Wasn't Carver throwing a party?"

"Yeah, how do you know?"

"That's my salary right there. Although, I used to make more when Hargrove was around"

"Right." the girl looked at his hands working on the joint "I didn't feel like going"

"Why not? I bet your friends are going to be asking for you tomorrow"

She stared at an Ozzy Osbourn poster that stared back at her with a weird expression.

"No, they are not. I mean... I told Chrissy I wasn't going so..."

"There you go." Eddie handed her the joint and a black lighter and she grabbed them like they burned. Slowly, the cheerleader put the joint between her lips. 

"So now you got to light it" He grinned.

"Hmm... yeah, yeah" she mumbled.

She tried it, once, twice. The lighter didn't go off.

"You don't have to do this, if you don't want to..."

"No, no... I-" she tried once again, and again and nothing. "I can't light it. I think I hurt my finger"

"Here, let me" Eddie took the lighter from her hand quickly checking her index finger didn't have a blister. Then she approached her and lighted the joint in her mouth, his eyes never leaving hers, no matter the proximity. "You gotta inhale now, sweetheart" he smiled.

"Y-yeah" she didn't notice she was holding her breath.

----------

"Have you seen the way Patrick was looking at me after I talked with Jason? He HAS to ask me out now! By the way, I don't recall seeing you at the party last night, Y/N." Cindy looked at her fellow cheerleader demanding an answer.

"I wasn't in the mood for a party, I'm feeling quite bad these days." she closed her locker.

"Yeah, well rumor has it that you left with Eddie the Freak last night, so either you weren't feeling that bad or somebody really hates you"

"What?" Y/N felt the blood leaving her face white as a sheet. "Who told you that?"

"So it was true?" Cindy raised her eyebrows.

"No. I- I saw him walking around but I didn't leave with him"

"That's what I said! As if you would want to do something with that freak, ew."

---------

"The Cure? Never would have thought, you'd like a band like that" commented Eddie laying down in the matress with Y/N.

It's been like that for several weeks. After Hellfire, the Dungeon Master would left his friends at their homes and return to an already waiting Y/N, in her cheerleading uniform.

"Why not? They make a great mood for crying and dancing" she, just like him, was staring at the ceiling. "I never took you for a Cure fan. I thought you were into, I don't know, Scorpions?"

"Well what can I say" he looked at her "They make a great mood for crying and dancing" 

The Perfect Girl started sounding all around the trailer and Eddie screamed excitingly.

"What's wrong?" Y/N suddenly looked at him.

"I love this song! It makes me want to dance." Clumsily he stood up from the matress and offered her his hand "Would you do me the honor, sweetheart?"

"W-what?" She giggled."Come on! It's a short one, let's dance!"

"I don't dance, Eddie"

"Are you bullshiting me?” he scoffed “You, Y/N L/N, Hawkins Sweetheart, don't dance, huh? You're a fucking cheerleader, for fuck's sake. Come on and humor me"

"I don't know..."

"Pleasee" He pouted and put his hands togehter like he was praying "Pretty please?"

"Fine" she smiled and stood up with the help of his hand.

Eddie put one hand on Y/N's shoulder and the other on her waist, but because it wasn't a slow song he started moving her all around the room.

"YOU ARE SUCH, SUCH, SUCH A STRANGE GIRL, THE WAY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DO" the boy half-sang, half-shouted.

Maybe it was the butterflies in her stomach, or the weed kicking in but she couldn't stop laughing. Y/N realized she couldn't remember the last time anyone made her laugh like that. She decided she could live in that moment forever.

"Oh, Eddie...!" she tried to speak.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you!" he exclamed over the song "You should come to the next campaign, it's gonna be sick."

Suddenly she felt it, again. The headache. She froze in the spot like someone had throw her a bucket of cold water. The song, totally forgotten. Eddie noticed the change in her behavior.

"Are you okay?" he frowned.

"No"

"What's the problem?"

"No, I'm sorry, but you know I can't go." she felt her words like venom in her mouth. It got silent between them.

"I... get it." Eddie barely said but changed back his tone again "Yeah, no problem, it's not big deal."

She thought that saying no was painful enough, but seeing the pain in the boy's eyes, made her feel even worse.

"I gotta go, Eddie. I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything when she grabbed her things quickly and clumsily.

She didn't know if he was angry or just dumbfounded. 

She didn't turn back to check on him.

Why did she feel like that? A month long headache was already pain enough.

------------

Damn, why did she feel like that? Ever since that day, Y/N and Eddie didn't speak to each other again. She would see him around with his chaotic energy, messing with his freshman friends, but that was it.They didn't speak again and he seemed unbothered by it. She didn't know how could he always be so energetic, if supposedly he was always so stoned, but she couldn't care less.

Y/N was the one bothered but she still didn't know if it was because Eddie looked happy or because she missed him.Or maybe it was because the headaches returned, and this time she felt a voice calling her name every now and then.

Could she be having a withdrawal? Nobody ever told her anything and it wasn't like she could go and ask Eddie. No matter what was the cause, she still felt upset. Being able to hang out with Eddie, raised her standards to a point where she didn't find herself being part of a conversation about Jason's last party, or Gucci lastest collection. 

And all of it was gone. And it wasn't, because everytime she would see the metalhead around the halls, the wound would open again.

And then it happend again. The damn headache. Maybe she was getting weaker or maybe it was getting stronger, but it made her hear things, like a bell at a distance. She tried to focus, one step at a time, little by little but the nausea was growing rapidly.

Hawkins' sweetheart, left her bag in the middle of the halls and ran towards the toilettes, like her life depended on it.

-----------------

"Eddie!" She exclamed knocking the trailer's door. "Eddie, open up for God's sake!"

What would anyone say if they saw Y/N L/N in her cheerleading uniform, in front of Eddie The Freak's trailer screaming for more drugs. That was why she was there, of course.

The sun was going down. It wasn't like anyone would ask for her, but it still wasn't safe for anyone to be wandering around those places. After all, it was common knowledge that Hawkins was cursed.

She sat down at the entrance, sobbing with her head between her knees. Of course, Eddie wasn't home. He was probably having fun with some nerds, or with his band or maybe he was at a girl's house...

"Y/N? Y/N L/N?" a female voice said. Just great. Not only the headaches were back, Eddie probably hated her and she ran out of weed, but now she has been discovered.

The cheerleader looked up to see a red-haired girl with headphones on looking at her like she was an alien.

"What?" she said agressively, tears drying on her cheeks.

"I- Jesus, I just came to say that today is a campaign day, so Munson is going to be late."

"Sorry... and... excuse me- do we know each other?"

"Well, no -I mean yes. I-" she sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're Y/N L/N, everybody knows you. I don't know if you've seen me but I'm Max. I'm Billy's sist- step-sister" she corrected herself.

"Oh yeah... yeah, I've seen you around in his car" Y/N gaze softened "I'm so sorry about Billy... he-"

"Yeah, yeah" Max tried to dismissed it "Don't worry 'bout it. I won't tell anyone I've seen you."The oldest girl looked surprised. 

"Thanks. I owe you one."

"No, you don't. Anyway, gotta go. Nice to meet you, Y/N." 

----------

She felt herself falling asleep in class. 

When was the last time she slept without nightmares? 

Everything was turning blurry around her. She tried to follow her professor's voice, but it wasn't making any sense.

Then she heard it once, she heard it twice.The bells. It didn't make any sense, but it felt so real, until it didn't. 

Suddenly the bells turned into a tap on her back.She felt it once, she felt it twice. She turned around and whipered loudly:

"What?" Only to find out it was no other than Eddie the one throwing her paper balls.

Time stood still and so did they. She wanted to scream, to say sorry but also to tell him to go to hell, that it wasn't the moment.

"We need to ta-"

"No, we don-"

"Mayfield told--"

"Is there anything you would want to share with the class, L/N, Munson?" The strong voice of the professor proyected through the whole classroom.

"No, professor" The girl started "We're sorr-"

"Actually yes, professor" interrupted Eddie making her stare at him in horror "I was telling Y/N how boring this class is and the many things I'd be doing if I wasn't here wasting my time."

"That's enough, Munson. Stay after class."

"What?" Y/N almost yelled in shock at the boy's behavior.

"I said 'stay after class'" The professor misundertood her "and you too, miss. No extracurricular class after this, you'll be staying here doing homework. When I was your age adults were respected."

She could hear the fellow cheerleaders gasp in horror, as she hid her head between her arms.

After the bell rang, the students practically ran to their bikes or cars, not wasting one more minute in the building. Y/N felt the presence of her so called friends standing next to her seat.

"How dare he?" started Cindy with anger in her tone.

"It was so unfair!" continued Chrissy.

"Your reputation can't be stained by someone like Eddie the Freak!" exclamed Janice.

"Not for long" Cindy smiled venomusly "Let me take care of it, Y/N. And next time be more careful, would you? Jan is right, they touch you, they'll be touching Hawkins reputation. Don't forget it."

"Right, I'm sorry" The girls left Y/N alone in the room and she sighed almost relieved.

"Damn, what is Cindy gonna do? Hang me on a basketball net?" Eddie's voice startled the cheerleader, making her turn around in surprise.

"Fuck, Munson. You were there the whole time?"

"Of course, I got to stay too." He stood up and sat down on the seat next to her. "So it's Munson again, huh?"

"It's Munson because you've got me into trouble" she clenched her jaw, upset.

"Yeah, well I was running out of ideas on how to talk to you."

"You-- are you serious?"

"I can hear you from here, you know?" The professor said from his desk "If you don't have any homework to do, which I doubt, let me finish marking this exams in peace, please."

"Sorry, professor" Y/N said and turned to the boy again, this time speaking in a lower volume "What is your problem?"

"What is my problem? What's yours?" Eddie asked concerned "Mayfield told me you were crying in front of my door for a whole hour the other day, and now you don't even look at me."

"Mayfie-- oh you mean Billy's  sister?" she sighed frustrated "She told me she wasn't going to tell anyone."

“And she didn’t. But she had to tell me, you know. What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it, now" she looked to the blackboard, trying to avoid the topic.

"Come on, it's got to be someth-"

"I ran out of..." she lifted her eyebrows.

"What?"

"I ran out o--"

"Oh, I got that part." he said and thought for a moment "Ok, bare with me, here for a moment. You're telling me that you went all over to my house, sat down on the entrance crying and screaming my name because you've ran out of you-know-what?"

"Yeah..."

"Hmm... no. I don't think I buy it, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I said that I don't buy it."

"Well, I don't care, Munson" Y/N said firmly.

"Excuse me?" He scoffed.

"I don't care, if you don't believe me. All I know is that I'm going to be needing something stronger than..." she coughed "...after today"

"Something stronger?"

"Yeah, you've got something stronger right?" Eddie stared at her with guilt in his eyes.

"I- I don't know if I feel like selling you something stronger, Y/N"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not sure it's a good idea..."

"You got me into trouble just because, you're in no position to talk about good ideas"

"Then it might be the best idea ever, but I won't sell you anything other than... yeah..."

"I hate you"

"You're breaking my heart sweetheart" he dramatically put a hand on his chest.

--------

Y/N woke up that night, a jolt of electricity running through her body.

There it was again. Another nightmare. It was always the same one. 

She was in the kitchen changing her mother's pills, what could go wrong?

'Stop!' she internally exclamed. 

She had enough.

The cheerleader opened her bedroom window and looked down to the street. If boys like Steve and Billy used to escape from the window all the time, why couldn't she? It couldn't be that hard, right? 

One, two, three. She bit her tongue and aimed for the bushes. With a hump, she fell on her left side and stood there for a few seconds, getting used to the pain on the left side of her waist. Once she got up, she grabbed her bike and off she went to the trailer park.

About five minutes later, reality started sinking in Y/N's head as the breeze caressed her face.

What was the plan? Going at who-knows-what-hour of the night at Eddie Munson's place in her pajamas on her bike? She didn't even have money! He was probably asleep, and even if he wasn't, what would he say? What would she say? Numerous escenarios played in the girl's head and none of them left her standing with dignity.

Once she arrived, she threw the bike on the ground and ran to the familiar trailer.

"Hey, Eddie. I'm sorry for-- no, hey Eddie! Long time no see-- no, no. Eddie, I don't know why I always keep returning to this place-- Y/N, be nice... Munson, I hate you and you're ruining The Cure for me so please--" 

She stood frozen in place mid-sentence. The door was open, and the van was nowhere in sight. She thought about it, but curiosity got the best of her and she opened the door.

The whole place was a mess. More of a mess than usual.

Did they rob the trailer?

"Eddie" she barely mumbled "Eddie, are you okay? It's me, It's-- oh my god---"

What she saw next made no sense. She surely was still dreaming that horrible nightmare.What other rational explanation was to the broken body on the floor?

A body? That wasn't just a body. 

She felt her limbs getting weaker. 

Y/N could recognise those new Nike bike shorts anywhere.

Like a sleepwalker, she got out of the house, somehow. With shaky hands she grabbed the bike and returned home, the adrenaline pumping through her veins, making her heart beat incredibly fast. 

She couldn't think anything other than getting home, even though she wasn’t entirely sure what she saw.

[obsessive-ego]

Pest of the west

Toonjuice x reader

Warning cringe

Gender neutral pronouns, pregnancy is mentioned once, also reader is forced to wear a dress

A shameless episode rewrite, swapping lydia for y/n and making it into a reader insert, I can not stress this enough, I just rewrote the episode to fit what I wanted, If this goes over well i might do more episode rewrites

Toonjuice takes you to the old west to goof off, and shit gets bad when an out law named bully the crud falls in love with you

"Come to the netherworld he said, it'll be fun he said, we'll go to the old west, you could use a good time, god" you grumbled to yourself, here you were handcuffed, wearing the ugliest, largest wedding dress you've ever seen in your life, hell, the size of the dress was the second reason stopping you from running from this cruel fate, the first being the groom. Not only were you handcuffed, your soon to be husband had a vice grip on your arm, a giant bull of a monster, Bully the Crud, you had no idea why this bastard wanted you, or why beetlejuice, scared out of his wits, left you to fend for yourself, all you did know was that you were screwed.

...

Finally friday, it's been a long rough work week, between overtime, and unreliable coworkers, and your bastard of a boss using you as a punching bag, you were beat.

Home again, you toss your bag and coat on the couch as you pass the living room, your apartment was small and quiet. You head to your room to finally change out of these work clothes.

Passing the full length mirror in your room, out of the corner of your eye you notice the reflection wasn't yours.

"Hey BJ" you say casually, not bothering to look his way as you dug around your dresser for something more comfortable.

"Its about time you finally came around babes"

"Yeah, overtime again" you sigh

"Gross"

"Tell me about it mr I dont have a job" you laugh, turning to the mirror to see that beetlejuice was gone.

"Huh" you mumble scooping up your change of clothes "guess he had things to do?" You mumble.

Just then, you jump as the television in your bedroom turns on, loud static noises buzz from the speakers before an image settles on screen.

"Beetlejuice ?"

Your television lights up showing a desert like scenery, with cactus, and wired fences, and there was beetlejuice, dressed in cowboy attire

"Thats my name, and cow poking is my game,Are you tired of the same old same old boring modern breather life style?"

"Yeah" you chuckle

"Are ya in desperate need for a change of pace? Then mosey on down to the nether world's wild west rude ranch, conveniently located in tombstone scareizona"

"Theres a wild west in the netherworld? Like cowboys and stuff?" The ghoul had your full attention now, maybe sometime goofing off in the netherworld could do you some good, and the wild west would seem like something new and fun,

"Cowboys, cowghouls, just spout those magic b words and we'll be ghost town bound"

what's the worst that could happen?

"Beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!" You shout in a hurry, and in a flash you were gone.

And there you were in the scenery you saw on your television, sand, cactus, cow skulls, all the cliches of an old west movie. Your work clothes now replaced with more appropriate attire, a black cowboy hat, with a matching vest, a soft blue coloured puffy sleeved shirt, with a dusty blue neckerchief, black pants, with a big belt, and some big black boots, you look liked you walked out of freddy pharkas frontier pharmacist, but appreciated the wardrobe change, your clothes always changed when beetlejuice dragged you into the netherworld, you were used to it by now.

"Beetlejuice?" You look around, the ghost was no where to be seen

"Oh bury me~ on the lone prairie~"

The ground next to you shakes before beetlejuice unearths himself "welcome to the netherwest babes! I'm your ghost host with the most, should you have any questions, I'll be sure awnser them, as obscurely as possible" the ghoul proudly proclaims as he struts away from the grave he pulled himself out of.

"So this is the netherwest, it looks fun"

"Of course babes, it has everything an old west motife should have, sun, sand, more cliches then you can shake a stick at" the ghost hollers shaking a stick at a cow skull

"Sounds like a blast beej" you grab his arm eager to see the sights.

"And dont you worry toots, if you're fretting on being bush wacked by bad guys, you're fretting for nothing"

"Oh? You some kind of old west hero?" You asked amused by his sudden confidence

"You kidding babes? Nobody messes with the pest of the west, I'll show ya what I mean later" he cackles leading you into town

"Pest is right" you chuckle

...

The two of you were having a blast, beetlejuice eagerly showing you the sights, dragging you around town, the two of you laughing and carrying on, you really needed this after such a shitty work week, you could always rely on beetlejuice to change your mood for the better.

It was all fun and games until your ghost with the most got kicked by a horse into a trough of dirty water. You were trying not to laugh at him as you helped him out.

"This has got to be the closest thing I've taken ta a bath in months" he grumbled

"Its surely an improvement" you laugh, hoisting you friend out of the water

"Excuse me, allow me to introduce myself" an unfamiliar voice interrupts the two of you, standing in front of you was a man shaped like a dartboard and a tiny purple guy who's shirt was way too long for him.

"Howdy there stranger, The name's casualty, hop along casualty, I'm the mayor of this here tombstone and this is fester, we all in the market for a new sheriff, know anybody whod be intrested in such a noble and HIGH paying job?"

"What-" was all you manged to get out, before beetlejuice perked up

"DO I? Look no further, I am the slob for the job!" Beetlejuice lunges forward eager to shake the mayor's hand, before you pull him back

"Uh beej? You a law man? Do you even know any laws?"

"Dont rob people"

"I set the bar too low, werent we just here to have fun? Besides sheriff? That's alot of hard work" the ghoul's one weakness, maybe the mentioning of work would be enough for him to decline and the two of you could go back to goofing off.

"WORK?! YUCK!" Beetlejuice shouts, you smile, theres the ghost you know and love more then you're willing to admit.

"Maybe the breather is right, maybe the job would be too much for this tender foot to handle" casualty loudly proclaims as he and his sidekick walk away

"TENDER FOOT!?"

Great, now they had him, beetlejuice was always a sucker for reverse psychology.

Beetlejuice proceeds to 'show off' his so called slime shooting skills, saying he could shoot his hat before it touched the ground.

The hat went up into the air and beetlejuice went trigger happy, the ghost hit everything BUT the hat, you were smart enough to take cover, the ghost proved in a matter of seconds slime shooting was something he had to cross out on his resume, as he proceeded to cover the towns folk in slime.

But yet the mayor was still eager to hire him.

"Beetlejuice come on, no offense, but you are the worst guy for the job, you lie, cheat, steal, hell you're wanted in 5 different states, plus we just got here, why would anyone want you to be sheriff? Theres got to be something wrong" you pleaded with him, your words fell of deaf ears, beetlejuice was too excited with all the glory that came with his new title.

"Beetlejuice, I wouldnt do this if I were you-" you try again only to be shoved aside by the mayor, who was more the ready to slap that star shaped badge on Beetlejuice's chest.

"Congratulations son, you're exactly what were looking for!"

"This us a joke right?" You groaned

The mayor dragged beetlejuice to the group of townsfolk who gathered in the street to see what all the commotion was about

"Attention yall, I'd like ya to meet out new sheriff"

The crowd cheered and beetlejuice drank in all the attention and praise, while you just stood there trying to put two and two together

"Oh, I forgot to mention, bully the crud will be here at high noon" the mayor starts

"And hes gonna do terrible, horrible things to you-" fester continues

"Great" you grumble, there it was, so much for a fun time.

A bell gong rings through the town, and in a matter of seconds the towns folk were gone, leaving only you and beetlejuice standing in the middle of the street, you pull your phone out of your pocket, though you had no service, it still worked like a clock, time in the netherworld worked differently, though it was evening when you left, it was day time when you arrived, your phone always acted accordingly, weird, but you werent complaining.

"Noon" you say in a whisper, you stomach now turning with dread, what did beetlejuice just sign up for?

The ground rumbles and you grab the ghoul's arm out of nervousness and in a sandstorm cloud of dust a pig pulled carriage charges into tombstone, making a hasty hault in front of the two of you. The door swings open and there stands what you can assume is bully the crud, a big bull of a man, snarling and staring down the two of you.

"I'm looking for trouble" he growls

Beetlejuice snorts "never met 'em, you know anyone by that name babes?" The ghoul gives you a nudge, you shake your head

"That ain't what I ment, that was a figure of speech! Which one of the two of you are the sheriff?!"

You clamp your mouth shut, you werent gonna rat out your friend or take the blame, beetlejuice did the same

Bully huffs through his nose before grabbing you by your neckerchief

"You better spill-" in the rough movement of grabbing you, your hat got knocked off, your eyes no longer hidden in shadow.

"You better, better- why, arent you a pretty little thing" bully sets you down, and hands you your hat "why you ring my bell little meadow muffin, hows 'bout you give ol'bully a kiss" you cringe at his change in mood and utter out a "what?" More confused then anything else, not to mentioned disgusted

Beetlejuice quickly pulls you away, a tad angry over how this over grown hamburger was now hitting on you, HIS best friend.

"I'm the sheriff round these parts, and this here is my deputy" the ghoul snatches your hat from you hands a roughly puts it back on your head

"I never agreed to that" you grumble adjusting your hat.

"YOU'RE THE NEW SHERIFF?!" the bull bellowed, followed by a fit of laughter

"And who might you be?" Beetlejuice puffed out his chest squaring up to the monster

"I'm bully the crud, the meanest ombre that ever licked a law man" he shouted

"Ya know you look alot bigger then your eight by tens, were you sick on picture day?" Beetlejuice laughs pulling a photo from his pocket

"Enough small talk, I came to run you outta town and that's what I aim ta do" the bully snorts

"Alright bully, make your move" beetlejuice snorts reaching for his slime shooter

In a matter of second the monster grabs beetlejuice with one hand, tightly wrapped about his gut, squeezing the afterlife out of him

"Nice move" beetlejuice croaks

"Wait!" You shout, dead or not that's got to hurt

Bully drops beetlejuice, his attention now on you

"Sweet little meadow muffin, ya change your tune about giving ol' bully that kiss?" He coos, quickly making his way infront you amd grabbing your hands, his voice was much less harsh when addressing you, it was nauseating

"Ugh" you flinch, youd prefer the same hostility he's shown beetlejuice over this 'sweet' side in a heart beat

As disgusted as you were, this little exchange, it was enough of a distraction to get beetlejuice back on his feet.

In a flash your ghost host with the most pulls you away from the Bull's grasp

"Back off bovine breath" he snorts jabbing bully in chest "I hope you dont mind me asking, but what's your BEEF with this town anyway? Cuz we'd kinda like ya to just MOO-ve along" with each cow related joke beetlejuice pushed bully back away from you, you bit your tongue, trying not to laugh, despite Beetlejuice's confidence, you werent too sure how dangerous this guy really was, and besides, beej was doing enough laughing for the both of you.

You remained silent watching beetlejuice roll on the floor laughing at his own jokes, that is until Bully has had enough of the ghoul's shenanigans and snaps and screams

"NOBODY MAKES A LAUGHING STOCK OUT OF BULLY THE CRUD!"

Beetlejuice hops back to his feet and laughs

"Beej, I think you should get serious here" you urge, yes you know beetlejuice was a powerful ghost, but he was also a dumbass.

He snorts "come on babes, you worry to much, this over sized hamburger is all bark and no bite, ya know what I mean?" Beetlejuice gives you a half hearted shrug, turning away from Bully.

Of course beetlejuice wasnt as freaked out as you were, he wasnt the one getting kissy faces from a cow.

"Relax babes, remember what I told ya earlier? Nobody messes with the pest of the west-!?" Beetlejuice freezes, while he spent his time ignoring bully and flapping his gums at you, the bull took his opportunity and painted a large yellow stripe on Beetlejuice's back.

"THE SHERIFF GOT A YELLOW STREAK DOWN HIS BACK!" A voice screams

were the towns folk watching this whole mess?

"You calling me a chicken?!" Beetlejuice screams back

"Boo" bully leans into him and whispers him Beetlejuice's ear

And that was all it took to turn your friend into a giant yellow chicken

Beetlejuice scrambled and clucked away from bully, hopping on the nearest horse and riding put of town.

You were in utter disbelief, he left you behind

"Fuck" was all you could say watching your friend ride out of view, you were now screwed.

You were pulled from the spot and hoisted up into bully's arms

"Now that I ran sheriff stinko out of town, let's have us a wedding♡"

"I just have one question for you"

"Well sure there honey"

"What's the capital on Thailand?"

"What?"

"Its Bangkok!" You shout slamming the heel of your boot into bully's crotch

Bully drops you and screams, you quickly scramble away thankful that stupid joke worked.

Your freedom was shortly lived, you didnt get far, no building would let you in, citizens too frightened to what Bully might do to them if they were caught harboring someone he wanted, which was fair in a sense.

Bully pulls you back into his arms and laughs "you should be more careful there my little meadow muffin, you dont wanna damage the family jewels, we're gonna need em"

Beetlejuice wherever you are please come back.

As you were being prepared/forced to marry a literal monster beetlejuice was in the middle of the desert not too worried about you, back to his old abnormal self, arguing with a horse

"So your not gonna head back to tombstone? What about your friend?"

"Y/n? They're fine, they're the toughest living thing I've ever had the privilege to scare" he waves his horse off, despite all the teasing the ghoul gave you he held a very high opinion of you and just assumes you could take on bully no problem. "They could take on a while herd of Bully the cruds, no sweat"

....

"Y/n's sure taking their sweet time, I'm beginning to worry"

"I told ya, bully the crud is one tough side of beef, do you have any idea what's gonna happen to your little friend if you dont run him outta town?" The horse nags

Beetlejuice snorts "yeah, like I can see the future-" in a flash Beetlejuice's cowboy attire was replaced with to resemble swami, with a big crystal ball nestled in his lap

The ghoul snorts out a laugh

"Now let's see if I can get a clear picture on this thing" beetlejuice focuses on the orb and what he sees makes his stomach turn, not only did you fail on rescuing yourself from his mess, you were forced into marriage with that monster, your living status was now gone, barefoot and pregnant, all because of him.

"Y/N! SAY IT AIN'T SO! Y/N AND BULLY ARE GONNA GET HITCHED!"

...

So here you were, hand cuffed, gagged, in the ugliest puffy dress you ever seen, standing before a minister with you future husband who had a vice grip on you and no way out, you were trapped, you couldnt run, you could barely speak, every objection from your mouth was quickly muffled by Bullys sweaty hands to the point the bull gagged you to make things easier for this mess of a ceremony, if you could manage a few words you would have said the B word 3 times before this got this far. Your time was running out, and your Hope's of beetlejuice coming to save you were getting slimmer by the second.

"We are gathered here today to join these two in matrimony, be there any man, or beast" the father gesturing to the side of the church filled with what you could only assume is  Bullys extended family. "Who feels that this here wedding should not take place, let them hold up their hand, or hove, or forever hold their cud" the minister laughs nervously

This was it, you were doomed, there was nothing you could do, you stood there staring forward, utterly lost in despair.

"GET ON WITH IT!" Bully bellows tugging you in closer, this had to be a nightmare right? Any second your alarm would go off right?

"That's it! The only thing left to say is, I now pronounce you cow and-!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE PARSON! I OBJECT!"

You whip your head around, knowing that voice anywhere, there he was, standing that the entrance of the hall, rushing towards you.

"This lil' thing is spoken for" beej spats before pulling you away from Bully, with a snap of the ghoul's fingers your restraints vanish, with your new found freedom you were quick to embrace him, silently thanking the stars he came back in the nic of time.

"How dare you try and marry MY fiance!"

"What?" You mumble

"Your fiance?! They ain't got a ring to prove that!"

"Oh?~" Beetlejuice grabs your wrist and shoves your hand in Bully's face, "then what's this?" Placed upon your middle finger was a very large, very tacky, bright green jewel on a black and white striped band, a ring that sure wasnt their 2 minutes ago.

"I-?!" The bully stutters

"You didnt notice? were you too busy forcing my little cockroach into this mess you couldnt be asked to see if they've been already spoken for, I bet you wouldnt listen to a word they said" each word the ghoul spoke he would jab the bull in the chest, he was really laying on the country twang, you couldnt help bit crack a smile knowing the danger of you being married to that monster was gone, not to mention Beetlejuice saying you were his fiance.

This mirth was short lived though, as Bully had had enough of Beetlejuice's shenanigans, with a snarl and a bellowing howl

"NOBODY CUTS OFF MY NUPTIALS  AND GETS AWAY WITH! ITS TIME WE SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

"Yeah"

"AND THAT MEANS ONLY ONE THING"

"Name it"

"SLIMESHOOTERS AT 60 PACES"

"YOU GOT IT!"

Bully stomps out of the church to get ready for the dual

Beetlejuice quickly pulls you aside

"Alright babes, let's get out of here, just say those magic b words and we can amscray" he whispers to you

"We cant"

"right- WHAT?! WHY?! - I mean why? Cat got your tongue? Suddenly lost your voice? Or, oh no, dont tell me ya changed your mind and ACTUALLY WANT TO MARRY THAT CHUMP??" The ghoul grabs you shoulders and shakes you, as if to knock some sense into you

You brush his hands away "no, Beetlejuice, we cant leave, if we leave Bully is gonna destroy this town and everyone in it, I cant live with that on my shoulders" despite the fact that you hung around with a professional con man, you yourself were honest and kind, and to be the cause of such misery, you could never forgive yourself.

"Like I'm gonna lose sleep over that-" he grumbles

"Please beetlejuice, I'm asking you as a friend, and after you ditching me, I think you owe me" you gesture to the awful dress you were forced in, not to mention how if he was seconds late you could have been hitched to a literal monster.

"Fine" he grumbles

"Besides you're dead, what do you have to lose?"

Beetlejuice groans

"Also Can I ask one more thing of you Beej? Can you get me out of this dress?" You tug at the tooling, you could barely move and the fabric was quite itchy.

"Y/n! In front of so many people, and in a church! If you insist" the ghoul gingerly reaches for the the zipper on your dress before you swat his hand away, clearly embarrassed

"I ment with magic" you sigh not really in the mood for games

"Right, I knew that, just messing with ya" he chuckles sheepishly, with another snap you were back in your cowboy attire

"Thank you, now, what about bully?" You sneer

"Bully's got a date with the sheriff"

"No, we can beat him together" you give the ghoul a light punch in the arm, still alittle sore he left you behind.

...

Like any other western movie cliche, beetlejuice and bully square off in the center of town

"Please for the love of god cheat" you grumble watching this soon to be mess from the sidelines.

"That would be ideal, your friend there couldnt hit the ground with his hat" the mayor buts in to your mutterings

"But I think I have something dumb eniugh it might just work-" you muse before running off.

"This is it bully, it's time to separate the men from the bulls, theres no tomorrow, it's now or never, the cheese stands alone!"

"Quit staling and draw!" Bully sneers, absolutely fed up with Beetlejuice's nonsense.

"Draw? I'm a little rusty, but I'll give it a go" beetlejuice snorts swapping his cowboy hat for a beret, pulling a canvas and isle out of nowhere

"Now I'm gonna need ya to keep that pose for the next few hours-"

Bully screams in frustration, ripping the canvas away from Beej and slamming it over head

Beetlejuice unfazed snorts "I really get into my work"

"I'm gonna give you one last chance to draw beelejerk, or else I'm gonna start without ya, NOW DRAW!"

Beetlejuice swallows the lump in his throat "I guess this is it, theres no turning back now"

"Hold it!"

"Y/n!" Beetlejuice shouts, glad to see you

"Hey Bully I've change my mind about marrying you!" You shout

"WHAT!? Babes have you lost your mind?!"

"You have?! Oh honey I'd knew youd come around♡"

You run into the center of the action and with Bully distracted, you toss beetlejuice a different pistol

"Shoot!" You shout

"OH!" Beetlejuice fumbles with the gun before taking clear aim and firing, but instead of slime, a red sauce came out, covering bully, you let out a sigh you didnt know you were holding, the fact that beetlejuice ACTUALLY hit bully was nothing other then luck.

"Huh?! BARBEQUE SAUCE?! GET IT OFF OF ME" Bully screams

"I dont know about you babes but I could eat" beetlejuice growls scraping a knife and fork together.

Bully scared for his afterlife screams and scrambles out of tombstone, off into the sunset and out of sight.

"Thank god" you sigh, absolutely physically and emotionally exhausted

"We did it babes!" Beetlejuice pulls you into a side hug

"Yeah" you chuckle

"Sheriff we cant thank you enough" the mayor shakes Beetlejuice's hand

"Yup, bully the crud wont be bothering this town anymore, so long as you keep plenty of barbeque sauce on hand, but alas it's about time I hung up the old slimeshooters" beetlejuice sighs

The mayor of tombstone drops to the ground and hugs Beetlejuice's knees "NO! dont quit, is it because of me, because I got you ti take the job with trickery, dishonesty, and deceit?"

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "heck no  I like that in a guy, but no, I'm hanging up my guns for personal reasons, all this mud are ruining my boots"

The mayor sighs "we lose alot of them that way..."

"We should get going Beej" you finally interrupt, desperate to get home and rest

"So babes, how's bout a thank you for your hero huh~?" Beetlejuice  leans into you wiggling his eyebrows

"A 'thank you' to the guy who's fault I almost married to cow?" You snort out a laugh

"I came back in the nic of time didnt I? Come on, come on, come on~" the ghoul teases nudging his elbow into your arm.

You yank beetlejuice by his neckerchief pulling him close to your level, that was enough to get him to shut his mouth, and in an instant you give him a quick, soft kiss on his cheek.

Letting him go, he remains stunned, you give the ghoul a light punch in the arm

"Come on beetlejuice, let's go home"

"Right!"

It was odd, everytime you've shown beej kindness or compassion, he would always go off saying it was 'gross' but this time that wasnt that case, he remained silent, which after the day you had, you were fine with that.

Bonus

To be honest you were exhausted, between a rough work week, and that whole emotional nearly married to a monster thing, you nearly passed out when you returned home.

But now all that was behind you and you were home again, safe and unwed.

In the netherworld, the ghoul who dragged you into the situation/ saved you, was laying awake in his bed, hand gingerly placed upon the cheek you so quickly kissed.

Yes beetlejuice has kissed you multiple times, but as a joke, sort of, but this? You kissing him? With genuine feeling?

"Gross" was all he could utter, hand still holding the spot where your lips met his cold face.

[teeth-and-tea]

Anime I've Binged: August 2021

I've been crafting a lot recently because I wanna get my yarn work done before it gets cold so LOTS OF ANIME lmao let's gooooo

The Case Study of Vanitas: On god, this anime is gorgeous. Still being upload as it's a new seasonal, but it's a Yen Press distributed work by the same mangaka of Pandora Hearts and Crimson Shell so it's STYLISTICALLY GORGEOUS. The story is interesting and feels new but familiar enough to have guess, people who like men AND women will have something for them, and Noè is my baby boy, my heart, my lovely little lamb, the sweetest green bean on the planet <3. Can't wait for the (eventual, as told on the first episode) death of Vanitas by Noè's hands that will crush me <3. 9/10.

Oddtaxi: I was NOT EXPECTING this anime to be THAT GOOD. Oddakawa is the MVP. You think you're getting a slice of life anime with some furry elements and instead you get Paranoia Agent meets Yakuza and went to school with Beastars. Genuinely one of the best anime of the coming decade. The last 30 seconds of the last episode legitimately left me screaming and my brother had to ask me what was wrong. 11/10.

The Slime Diaries: The offshoot for That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime full of shorts while the second half of the second season was put on hiatus due to covid. Cute, bubbly, but the drawing styles for everyone was a little too off for me to entirely enjoy. However, the extra background and time they gave to all the characters really fleshed them out and gave them more depth so you have more to care about when you're watching the main series again. Not bad, pretty cute, but you won't understand unless you've watched all the way up to the middle of the Second Season. 8.5/10.

The Slow Life of a Cheat Pharmacist: Another Light Novel Slice of Life Isekai given life, I've seen better but this one isn't bad by any means. It gives you exactly what it says on the tin, with NO annoying fan service or gross (bad) harem dynamics. Pretty cute tbh. 8/10.

Mob Psycho 100 S1: The animation is INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD. Story was solid, depictions of original characters was GREAT and Mob is my beautiful little boy I want to wrap up in a blanket and put to sleep <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Reigen is a sweaty, sweaty gross goblin I found outside the Denny's dumpster at midnight and decided "ahh, yes, a man who is perfect to destroy and objectify all at once." 11/10.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid S1, S2, and Shorts: I'm gonna be real, I'm a mad lesbian who knew I was gonna be disappointed by what I wanted but knew I wasn't gonna get it. STILL super cute tho. Lucoa and Shota gave me HARD SIDE EYE VIBES THO. Tits. Tits for days. Not my favorite but I've seen worse. 7.5/10.

How to Keep a Mummy: SO CUTE genuinely went online to see if I could buy a plushie before remembering I have crafting power and twelve dollars. Slice of Life featuring an adorable cast of high schoolers and their supernatural pets. 8.5/10. I couldn't stop being delighted by how CUTE everything was <3

Elegant Yokai Apartment Life: A Slice of Life Turned Plot-ish about if Tohru from Fruits Basket was a guy and shoved in an entire apartment complex full of supernatural beings, with less explicit romantic plotlines. It's not bad but the plot is all over the place and nonsensical in the the "why did the writer think this was a good idea" way and not the "lol" way. It was a Light Novel turned published piece tho so that clears up a lot of things. Incredibly small internet presence so if you want the world's tiniest fandom, try here. 8/10.

Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average In the Next Life?!: Another in the long line up of isekais and light novels that have gained an audience, this is honestly one of my favorite of the Isekais I've watched so far. It's fun, humorous, and it's got the decent premise of "oh yeah, I'm average in all my abilities! ... If you compare them from the tiniest bug to the strongest dragon alive." It's busty jokes and certain dried up cliches are abound tho, so some of the humor falls flat. That being said: the magic is run on nanomachines. That alone gives it enough premise for me to watch it. I watched the dub which I'll admit isn't amazing, but worked for me. 8.5/10

Restaurant to Another World: Another Light Novel adaptation but this one was a much earlier one that was published a few years ago, it's so calm that I like watching it to fall asleep to. That being said, don't watch this while hungry! Or watch it while eating leftovers! Because THE FOOD LOOKS SO GOOD I WANT IT D: Lol but serious it's pretty cute, really normal, there's no plot, I almost hesitate to call this anything other than a fantasy slice of life show instead of just a series of shorts strung together to make a show. I want to eat at Restaurant Nekoya TTuTT 8/10

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:

How NOT To Summon a Demon Lord: I got 6 episodes in before I straight up could NOT take the fan service anymore. Literally, I watched 5 1/2 episodes, paused about 4 months, gave it one last shot and watched the 6th episode, and then called it quits. It's SO GROSS IT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS. Not in a gorey way (which is preferable tbh) but in "all these hyper-sexualized, assaulted, groomed, fan serviced girls are underage or are lolis" way. Ew. Gross. I refuse. I made myself watch PRISON SCHOOL but smth about this show just... made itself unwatchable. Maybe how it's still trying to make the MC seem like a normal dude and in Prison School they were literally all written to be unlikable and everyone knew it was fucked up. Here, it's like... portrayed as normal and positive? I just can't do it fam, I hate this show so goddamn much. I'm going to bed.

[explosionshark]

43. "Are you drunk?"

For pricefield or amberpricefield?

“Are you drunk?” Max keeps her gaze locked down the viewfinder of the camera, not allowing herself to glance back or give away she’d overheard. There’s been so much squabbling this afternoon, and it’s a challenge every time to do her job without obviously eavesdropping.

“What are you a cop?” Oh. Oh no. “Cause if you are, you have to tell me.”

“Chloe,” Max sighs, dropping the camera down to her chest and twisting around to see Chloe leaning heavily on a banquet table in front of an irate looking woman in a puffy dress.

“Actually, she doesn’t,” Rachel pipes in from Chloe’s elbow. “That’s a common misconception.”

“What?” Chloe says, frowning. “No, dude, on TV--”

“An undercover cop doesn’t have to tell you they’re a cop,” Rachel insists.

“Rachel, you know I’m a pharmacist,” the woman interrupts, looking confused.

“I mean, I do, but Chloe just met you and--”

“There you two are,” Max isn’t sure that interrupting is the best move, but the gradual reddening of the older woman’s face is reasonable enough evidence that it’s at least not a bad one. “Can you, uh, give me a hand? With some equipment? Outside?”

Apparently, she sounds urgent enough to really sell it, since Rachel and Chloe follow her without any additional convincing. Max waits until they’re just outside the venue to turn back and address them.

“Well?”

“Babe, that’s not even our car,” Chloe says gently, gesturing to the limo pulled up to the curb. “It’s too big, see?”

Okay, so. Chloe’s definitely drunk.

“Rachel, can you--” Max glances over in time to see Rachel sway at the lip of the curb, almost stumbling before she grabs Chloe’s shoulder for balance. She catches Max looking and grins, eyes bright and faintly bloodshot. “Are you drunk too?”

“No way, Max,” Rachel says. “We decided it’d be a bad idea if we both got drunk, so I only had like one glass of champagne.”

“Oh thank--”

“I am a little stoned though,” Rachel confides in a low whisper, leaning in close to Max’s ear, warm arms wrapped around Max’s shoulders. “Like, a tiny bit.”

“You guys--”

“It’s not our fault,” Chloe protests. “You dragged us out here and then ditched us with no one to talk to.”

“You could talk to each other,” Max points out.

“We did!”

“Yeah, we talked about how boring it was and how we needed to get drunk--”

“-- not drunk, just high--”

“Drunk and/or high to deal,” Chloe amends gamely and is rewarded with a grateful kiss to her cheek from Rachel.

“Rachel, we’re surrounded by your entire family,” Max points out. “It’s your cousin’s wedding.”

“Exactly,” Rachel snorts. “No one to talk to. Max, this sucks.”

“Ugh, I know,” Chloe whines. “God, like, the music? Why so much Polka?”

“I literally do not know,” Rachel laughs. “We’re not even Polish?”

The worst part of the whole situation is how cute Max thinks they are, despite everything else. Rachel in her pretty dress, shooting silly smiles at Chloe and Max. Chloe, looking dapper in her suspenders, crisp white shirt unbuttoned at some point in the night. Here in the parking lot with the distant crash of the ocean reaching her ears, the soft sparkly lights of the venue filtering out through the windows behind them, Max can’t help but imagine letting them drag her back to the car to drive them home.

She’s tired, has been working since six this morning, setting up and documenting the behind the scenes process for the entire wedding party. As much as she loves photography, will take any jobs that come her way to build her portfolio, weddings are her least favorite. They’re exhausting and intensive, and she has to be invisible while also being keenly aware of how much she stands out, a stranger with a snapping camera weaving between family and friends and co-workers.

But the night is wrapping up. There should only be an hour left, maybe two, and then Max can go home with a neat little paycheck and a few more references for her website, and maybe another gig lined up if Rachel’s grandmother had been serious about her ambitions for those pet portraits she’d asked about earlier.

“If you’ve had enough, I can get a car to take you back to the hotel,” Max breaks in, fishing her phone out of her pocket and opening the rideshare app. 

“Nooo,” Chloe whines, slipping forward to press a messy, sweet kiss to Max’s mouth. “We can’t leave you.”

“God, what kind of shitty girlfriends would we have to be to ditch you at my shitty cousin’s wedding?”

“Even if you did ditch us first,” Chloe points out.

“I’m working,” Max says.

“Still,” Chloe pouts.

“Oh my god,” Max mutters, trying not to smile and failing miserably. Chloe’s pout breaks into a brilliant grin and she laughs, wrapping Max up in a hug so tight it lifts her off the ground. “Camera, camera -- careful.”

“My bad, my bad,” Chloe says, gently placing Max back on the ground and giving the camera a truly unnecessary apologetic pat. “All good.”

“Chloe,” Rachel sighs, shooing Chloe out of the way and stepping into her place to fix Max’s rumpled clothes. She gently smooths the ruffled hair out of Max’s face, straightens her collar and the camera strap around her neck, and cups her face carefully to drop a light kiss to the side of Max’s temple. “Sorry, Max. Can’t mess up your lipstick.”

“It’s fine,” Max says, and it is. Even now, after all this time, any kind of kiss from Rachel still inspires that warm, floaty feeling in Max’s belly.

Rachel takes Max’s hand and squeezes it gently. “Okay, look. You can head back inside. We’re gonna behave.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about us,” Chloe nods. “We’re gonna tear it up at behaving. You won’t believe it.”

“So behaved.”

“Go do your thing, Maximilian,” Chloe says. “We’ll cool it til you’re done.”

“You sure?” Max checks again, receiving tandem nods in response. “Look, you didn’t hear it from me, but the caterers are going to restock those little cheese puff things in like fifteen more minutes.”

“Well, you’ll know where to find us,” Rachel says, tugging Chloe after her back into the venue. “Love you, Max.”

“Love you too,” Max says, pausing in the doorway to watch them disappear into the crowd. She grips the camera tighter, slipping around to get a better vantage on the dance floor, feeling warmer and lighter than before.

enjoy my work? wanna leave a tip?

ko-fi / cashapp

[somecunttookmyurl]

sorry if there was another part of this post/those tags that i didn’t see but… i don’t think that doctor was trying to say that doctors know more about drugs than pharmacists do?

i’m an md also, i graduated from medical school a few years ago. and that person is right. we do learn about pharmacology and drug mechanisms and interactions in medical school. at my school (which was broken up into long blocks by body system), this was all integrated into everything else we were learning, meaning it was on every test. and it’s continued to be on every test i’ve taken since graduating. the point isn’t that we know more or even nearly as much as pharmacists about pharmacology, but that we know enough that someone who completely ignores the concept of drug interactions or the idea that different patients may metabolize certain drugs differently is a bad doctor. and i’m sorry that you’ve run across so many of them

the thing about medicine is that there is so much to know about human anatomy and physiology and disease that it’s basically impossible for any one person to know it all. medical school lays the groundwork, but there’s a reason we specialize, and spend 3-7 years in additional training in our particular field. it’s important to know what you don’t know (which is a lot, no matter what kind of doctor you are or how long you’ve been practicing). that means consulting with pharmacists when prescribing a new med or changing a dose whenever possible, just like you’d consult, say, a nephrologist when treating a patient with kidney disease. but when there isn’t a good pharmacist available, it means looking up that information yourself. i may not remember every single drug that interacts with warfarin, for example, off the top of my head, but i sure as hell know that it’s a long list and i better check everything else a patient is taking before prescribing it

anyway, good pharmacists are an incredible resource and i wish we had more of them at my hospital. and if you can’t admit that there are things you don’t know, medicine is not the field for you

yeah i've had like. no joke. 2 good doctors in 31 years. and one of them i don't even get to see again it was a one-off. but i am surgically attached to my GP until one of us dies and by god i hope i go first.

(incidentally those 2 doctors are the only ones i've ever met who even knew that differing drug metabolism on different pathways was even a thing like at all. my old psych straight up said "never heard of that, don't think that's true" even when i was presenting him with literal medical journals to the contrary like okay buddy good talk let's never do this again. i wish so much this was an uncommon experience bc i for one am tired of giving the TED talk)

readmore bc this got long

the fact you guys don't learn stuff to the same depth as pharmacists was really like my entire point. i mean, sure, you have some knowledge on it but normally pretty limited to within whatever field you practice. you've only got a limited number of brain cells. if you did have all that knowledge then pharmacy wouldn't exist as a separate degree in the first place.

so a doc coming onto that like "oh we do know side effects and get tested on interactions" is uh. i mean do you? a little, sure, but there's a limit to that knowledge by design. it's really the pharmacists who know, you know? they're the experts on it, and it kinda struck me as "i did a bit of training on this so i know everything" which is an attitude i encounter.... a lot with doctors, sadly. along with the assumption a patient can never know anything about their condition/have any input or ideas of any value/that there may be gaps in their own knowledge.

[also along with complete lack of intellectual curiosity which always baffled me like "welp, don't know what that is goodbye forever" do you not... want to know? not even a little bit? god why are you even here. if all you wanted to do was flowcharts and tick boxes there are plenty of careers in the data entry field. not quite sure why you went to medical school my man]

you sound like a good doctor. hold onto that. sadly you're more the exeption than the norm, as pretty much anybody with a chronic illness or unusal presentation/response can attest. also women, and POC.

if you've got it in you to keep at it without having a nervous breakdown (rather have you in the field than out of it babes) absolutely chew out any other doctor you catch acting like a Supreme Unquestionable Being Who Can Never Be Wrong though.

honestly? i think, genuinely, most do start out like you (you said you only graduated a few years ago right? so you're still new really) and... at some point along the way they become fucking insufferable.

i don't know if it's burnout bc it's a stressful job, or if having power over the health & wellbeing over other people eventually goes to your head, or you get stuck in "what i learned 20 years ago is still unquestionable" or "i've been doing this for years pfff i don't need to check things anymore" complacency or what but there is for sure SOMETHING that changes in a whole lotta doctors. hold on to how you practice now. be one of the few who STAY like that 10, 20, 30 years from now. please. stay curious, stay cautious, stay sharp.

i don't hate doctors (i say it jokingly, true, but don't take it personally) but i have absolutely met enough of them that don't listen, or check, or investigate that i heavily side-eye a new one until they demonstrate otherwise. you're listening to me and working with me and checking things? cool! i'm still gonna double-check anyway because even good doctors make mistakes,

but a good good doctor doesn't take offence at that anyway. i mean. it's my health you're in charge of here. remaining alive and not hospitalised is generally preferable.

hey, maybe it's a bit harsh to judge from a couple tags but coming onto a post saying that pharmacists are the real drug nerds here and doctors have limited knowledge about that (with a heavy dose of complacency a lot of the time, tbqh) so please make sure stuff is checked with "we do know about interactions we get tested on it" sent up a HUGE "i can't admit when there are gaps in my knowledge and can't handle being questioned" red flag.

[jackson--t]

The last one turns off the light

Summary: On the day of Ragnar's funeral, the family reunites - but even before that, chaos begins. When the Lothbroks brothers get together, the world turns upside down - and not only funny things will come out.

Words: ~ 3.7 k.

Pairings/tags: please look up at AO3, too much for here. We have one crossover pairing, which will be Ubbe x Eggsy (Kingsman). And obviously, Heahmund x Ivar. 🤣

This story is a comforter for me and hopefully entertaining for you. 🖤 Other updates follow this week, since I had a light down. xD

If you want to be tagged in this one, tell me please. 🥰 I always feel so uncormfortable tagging people and thinking they don't like all of my weird stuff, lovely @youbloodymadgenius 🤣❤.

Chapter 1: Of canapès and barking dogs.

Bjorn, Torvi & Sigurd

 It was not a nice day, Bjorn had known that from the beginning. Going to funerals was never easy - but holding his father's at his mother-in-law's house was. He had always believed that Ragnar would grow much older - and that the day he died would be peaceful.

But the house of Aslaug had been strangely restless for days. Sigurd had already arrived and had taken possession of the guest room next to Torvi and Bjorn's - his other brothers would soon follow. Bjorn folded the note in his hand lightly and sighed softly. He had read through the words a thousand times, and yet he kept getting stuck.

"I don't know why Aslaug wants me to give the speech," he said softly to Torvi, and she smiled slightly. Her hands softly stroked Bjorn's back, and her voice was like velvet against his ear.

"Because you're the oldest, that's why."

"Everyone will think that Ivar will hold it. After all, he's the famous author."

"Don't worry about that, you know people love you."

Bjorn creased the notes in his hand a little and turned his gaze again to the scrawled words. "My father was a great man. He was born in Kattegat in 1968. Kattegat is known for fishing and... God Torvi, it sounds like a school lecture. Ivar should do it."

"Be brave, Bjorn.", Torvi muttered to him, when suddenly the door opened.

"Are there, the guys with the coffin. With Dad." Sigurd said, who was still talking through the door before he could even open it with a rumble. Bjorn clicked his tongue.

"Still haven't learned to knock, huh?" he hissed, and Sigurd rolled his eyes.

"I don't care, now get down here. Mom's going to freak out - you know how sensitive she is."

"Then she shouldn't have done the funeral here in her house."

"I'll say three words to that: lazy old woman."

"Sigurd!"

Sigurd laughed lightly, and nodded to Bjorn, who slowly rose from the bed and placed his notes on the nightstand. "Come, Torvi."

It was not an easy step that Bjorn took down the stairs, together with Sigurd and Torvi. The last time he had seen his father alive, everything had been fine: he had sat in front of the TV in the evening and watched a game with Bjorn. It had been quiet hours, and the last touch Bjorn actively remembered was the light feeling of Ragnar's fingers on his forearm when he had told him a good joke. Ragnar had laughed so loudly that there had been tears in his eyes - it had been a lovely evening.

Bjorn had long wondered if those last moments were enough, enough to be last words. He should perhaps have said an "I love you," something that expressed his deep admiration for this man. But one never knew when those were the last words - and when Bjorn saw the heavy oak coffin standing in the living room, along with the funeral home staff, his heart felt heavy. It was like lead, as if all the weights were pulling down the otherwise strong and heavy body. But he remained strong, even when he saw how Sigurd became slightly pale around the nose.

Nevertheless, with a quiet clearing of his throat and a respectful nod to the staff, he stood in front of the coffin and opened it with a slight, barely audible movement.

An iron silence spread, and one could almost feel the oppressive heaviness as Björn stared into the coffin. The funeral home staff lowered their heads in reverence as Bjorn suddenly said dryly, "That's not my father."

The silence around the room changed as the employees looked first at each other, and then at Bjorn, who still kept his gaze fixed on the coffin.

One of the staff came around and looked at the dead man, then opened his mouth.

"Oh God, that's really the wrong one. Guys, we put the wrong one in the coffin. We're terribly sorry, Mister Lothbrok - we'll be right back."

Torvi and Bjorn watched the men as they took the coffin back outside; then Bjorn exhaled deeply.

Sigurd in the corner behind them let out a soft chuckle.

"Well, if this is how the funeral is going to start, it's going to be cheerful. A bad omen."

"Don't say that!" Bjorn hissed, and Sigurd just snarled.

"It already started when Ivar said he was bringing his weird drug friend."

"He's a pharmacist, you monkey."

"Same thing, he sells drugs to old people. Maybe he can mix some in the punch."

“Sigurd!"

"What?"

"A little more respect." Torvi said annoyed, while Bjorn exhaled deeply.

"My respect just sailed out with the wrong daddy."

"Oh man. Please let this day go by quickly and without a hitch," Bjorn muttered, trying not to think about the mess that had ensued last Christmas when Ivar and Sigurd had fought over dessert and had destroyed one window.

"The day is guaranteed to be a disaster. Just think who's all coming together here today. They don't say the Lothbroks are all crazy for nothing. And if Ivar says a stupid thing about Martha, I'll punch him in the face!" Sigurd snarled; he took one of the canapés, but got lightly smacked on the fingers by Aslaug, who had joined in quietly and silently.

"Don't!"

"I'm hungry, though."

"You wait until everyone gets here!" Aslaug hissed; one could tell she wasn't feeling well. Torvi silently accompanied her to the kitchen again, while Bjorn sat down next to Sigurd's armchair with a snort.

"I'm so going to fail. Why isn't Ivar giving the speech?" he muttered; he also took a canapé, as did Sigurd, who by now had rested his legs on the little table next to him.

"It doesn't matter, no one will listen anyway. Everyone will blubber. Besides, he's bringing his friend, that fucking Brit. He won't talk in front of him, I bet you."

"All right, let him. They've been together for a long time."

"Yeah, while Ubbe will end up an old maid."

"You too."

The brothers looked at each other, then they both laughed. And although it was not a fitting day for laughter, they both couldn't help it. They were only interrupted when Aslaug came storming out of the kitchen and slapped them both on the knuckles for eating too many of the canapés.

 

§-----§-----§

 

Ubbe, Hvitserk, Ivar, Heahmund & Eggsy

 "Which house was it again?" Ubbe asked, drawing his eyebrows together; Ivar yawned slightly as he looked out the window at the passing houses. He already knew the area by heart, had already spent so many hours driving to and from Heahmund's house - and not just because of Heahmund. Heahmund's little brother Eggsy was Ivar's age, and the two had been best friends for a long time. It had been rather inappropriate when Ivar had confessed to him one day that he fancied his older brother - but after Eggsy had punched him in the face for it during a visit to a club, to be fair, they had been best friends again.

"That one up front. You know that house, you drove me here so many times!" Ivar snarled; Ubbe just snorted softly.

"Yeah, it was dark back then, and you were drunk."

"Alcohol is my muse. And a naked Heahmund."

"No, Ivar. Please don't. At least today. He's a pharmacist, isn't he?"

Ivar rolled his eyes slightly and exhaled in annoyance, then nodded slightly. He ran a hand through his hair while his gaze was fixed on his older brother.

"Yeah, you know that too," he grumbled, and Ubbe shrugged.

"Do you think he can take a look at my wrist? There's all this discoloration on it."

"Ubbe, please. He's a pharmacist, not a doctor," Hvitserk interjected, who was sitting in the back seat.

Ivar knew that his older brother was very upset inside. Ivar felt it the same way - when he had learned of Ragnar's death, a part of his world had collapsed. It had taken him a long time to come to terms - a long time, and a handful of Heahmund's best pills. That had helped. When Ivar saw the slightly clouded look on Hvitserk's face in the rearview mirror, he bit his lower lip lightly.

"But he deals with pills, he knows what I can take!" Ubbe replied irritably.

"Eggsy deals, Heahmund thinks it sucks," Ivar said, amused, turning his gaze back outside.

"Why can they even do that? Eggsy looks like the last spade."

"Ay!"

"Ain't that the truth."

"Maybe Heahmund will have some pills for you in a minute, Hvitty. You look really pale," Ivar said quietly; his bright eyes found Hvitserk's, and he clearly saw his brother forcing a smile.

"I just have a stomachache, after all, and a little dizziness. I'll be fine."

"Here we are," Ubbe said, and the three brothers got out of the car.

The house was in a somewhat quieter corner of the town and was a veritable palace; it had been expensive, for Heahmund and Eggsy's parents were both doctors. Heahmund had confessed to Ivar once long ago that he knew he was a disappointment to them as an apothecary - but Ivar had always encouraged him. Heahmund loved working with chemicals, and the fact that he had fallen in love with him, well - Ivar clearly owed a bit of that to his love of Eggsy's forbidden tablets. Ivar remembered it clearly - an Iggy Pop concert, drunk to the point of no return, and he had dared to kiss Heahmund for the first time.

He remembered hot fingers on his body, wet and sweaty bodies pressing against each other, loud and booming music in his ears, vibrating on his skin.

But that quickly disappeared as Ubbe pressed the button on the bell and waited with his two brothers. It took a moment, but then a grinning Eggsy opened the door.

"Holla, we don't actually buy anything at the door," he said, and Ivar laughed. He chimed in with Eggsy and went into the house, with Ubbe and Hvitserk following. For a moment Eggsy and Ubbe looked at each other, then Ubbe said, "Do you have anything for Hvitty's stomachache?"

"Hmm. I don't know... I'll go see. Hold on. Oh, Ivar - Heahmund's in the shower, he'll be right there in a minute," Eggsy replied, winking at Ivar, who again bit his lip lightly before catching Ubbe's shocked look.

"Ivar, I dare you. You're wearing your fancy suit, Dad gave you that one at the time for your first book launch. If it gets wet-" Ubbe muttered, and Ivar snorted.

"What, it's just water!"

"I think Ubbe once again couldn't get it into his mouth that he means the cum stains that are on your suit afterwards when Heahmund has... wiped himself on your lips," Hvitserk threw into the round and was rewarded by a punch in the neck from Ubbe and a hearty laugh from Ivar.

"I'll wash your filthy mouth out in a minute... Ah, look. Here's some paracetamol, you can take it, can't you?" Ubbe said, holding up a brown little box with the words written all over it in a very slightly scuffed way. Ivar raised his eyebrows as Ubbe tossed the little tin to Hvitserk.

"Hmm, okay... I'll take these without water, not that my suit will get "wet" yet," Hvitserk muttered, and Ivar nudged him lightly.

"Stop it now, I'm shitting myself laughing. But I'm really going to see where Heahmund is," he said, and went up the stairs to the upper floors. Hvitserk swallowed his pills while Ubbe wandered lightly up and down the hallway, looking at the photos on the wall.

It had taken Ubbe a long time to accept Heahmund and Ivar's relationship. Heahmund was an educated and kind man, but Ubbe thought him far too old for Ivar. He knew his little brother and his moods, and also his volatility. It was a real miracle that the relationship had lasted two years by now - which was surely due to Ubbe always keeping an eye on Ivar. Even Ragnar had taken a while to get along with Heahmund. Not as a mate, not as a man - but as the boyfriend at Ivar's side. He had always seen his son in the arms of pretty women, but never in the arms of another man who could almost be his father himself.

Ubbe's eyes wandered over the many photos on the wall and lingered on a family photo. It was visible that they were a well-heeled, wealthy family - only Eggsy stood out, as always. The boy was just like them with Ivar, the nestling, the baby - and the spawn of hell. Even though Ubbe really liked Eggsy's grin, and his blunt, British humor.

"What do you think it's going to be like today? Wow, are the walls yellow here.", Hvitserk said quietly; Ubbe directed his gaze to the beige wall, but only raised his eyebrows. It was nothing new that Hvitserk had lousy taste when it came to color naming.

"Well... it's dad. I'm sure it won't be pretty. I can't wait to see how Bjorn's speech turns out."

"Why isn't Ivar holding it?" Hvitserk said; as the two looked at each other, Hvitserk lightly stroked the wall with his fingers. Ubbe smiled briefly; he put a hand on Hvitserk's shoulder and sighed.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter either, he's the oldest, and he'll do fine. It was mother's wish. And Dad would have loved it. We'll all be together again," he said quietly, and Hvitserk nodded silently.

He was about to say something when Eggsy came down the stairs. He tossed a small can to Ubbe and winked. "Here, paracetamol."

"It's all good Eggs, we've already had some. It was okay, right? There were some lying here, we really only took two."

Eggsy's grin disappeared from his face; he was about to say something when Ivar and Heahmund came down the stairs.

"Hello, you two!" Heahmund said; he was smiling, but he placed his hand lightly comfortingly on Ubbe's shoulder, who smiled only slightly. "I'm really very sorry."

"It's okay. It's part of life, isn't it?" Ubbe replied; he waited until Heahmund removed his hand, and then cleared his throat, not without another quick glance at the slightly distraught Eggsy.

"I'll go start the car. Eggsy, are you going to ride with us?"

"Who... me? Nah, I'll... um... drive myself later, I've got stuff to do," he said, forcing a soft smile.

When Ubbe was out the door and the others were about to follow, Eggsy stood in front of the door. He pushed it shut lightly and looked at the three, who eyed him in slight confusion.

"Eggs, what are you doing? Make room.", Ivar snarled and grabbed Eggsy by the shoulder, but the latter just pushed him away slightly.

"Honestly - Hvit - how many of those pills did you take?" he said harshly, and Hvitserk snorted.

"Two, why? And you guys should repaint your house, that yellow paint really stings in the eyes."

"FUCK." Eggsy said, and Heahmund grabbed him by the shoulder.

"What do you mean with fuck, Eggsy? Do you have like... no. Don't tell me you..."

"Yeah… I did."

"What's wrong?" Ivar interjected, whose gaze had so far only wandered back and forth between the two.

"The pills.” Eggsy murmured, holding up the brown tin.

"Paracetamol, it says. Are you stupid?" Hvitserk said, and Eggsy opened his mouth.

"That's really a bit inappropriate now, huh... These aren't paras."

A rough hand reached into Eggsy's shirt, and Heahmund pushed his younger brother hard back against the door. "What do you mean Eggsy?!"

"I was... experimenting, it was supposed to be for tonight, I... I named it xylitol x10."

"What."

"What?"

"Is that why the walls are so fucking yellow?!" Hvitserk shouted, trying to jump towards Eggsy, but Ivar held him back.

"I'm sorry, but you don't just eat any fucking pills lying around somewhere either -"

"It had paracetamol on it, you asshole!!!"

"Yeah, you think I'd write party drug on it?"

"STOP!" Heahmund yelled between them, holding the boys apart; he could feel exactly how tense Hvitserk and Ivar were breathing.

"What's in it, Eggsy?" Heahmund asked, and all eyes turned to the young Englishman. Eggsy fussed, running a hand down the back of his neck, then muttering lightly.

"Well, this and that...I didn't...quite calculate that."

"Hallucinogens?" Heahmund grumbled; he still had his brother in stitches, and Eggsy nodded slightly.

"Everything. Stimulants, sleeping pills, painkillers. It's supposed to get you high on a new level."

It took a moment before Hvitserk let out a slight cry of panic and went for Eggsy's throat; Ivar interposed himself but gave Eggsy a deadly look.

"How long does it last?" he asked frantically, and Eggsy opened his lips slightly. It took him a moment before he quietly replied, "Twelve hours?"

Hvitserk was about to go after Eggsy again, but this time Heahmund joined in.

"THAT MEANS I'M GOING COMPLETELY HIGH AND FUCKED UP ON MY FATHER'S FUNERAL?" Hvitserk shouted, and Eggsy shrugged slightly.

"That... yeah, something like that. But it won't be so bad, because… you just won't notice anything."

"Eggsy, this is going to be trouble. Shit, what do we do now? Ubbe doesn't have a clue, does he?"

Ivar bit his lower lip lightly, still looking at his best friend. He knew that Eggsy had never done this on purpose, guaranteed, and that he had simply wanted to resell the pills. They had done it so many times, together, to really kick ass at festivals - if Ragnar or Ubbe had ever known that, and Heahmund - oh, Ivar was sure he would end up in hell. But he stuck by Eggsy, who by now was really pale around the nose.

"We'll work it out. We can say he's allergic to the pills because they were... expired."

"Ivar, that's... Ubbe will never believe that. He himself is so..."

"We have no choice."

Hvitserk pressed his head against Ivar's shoulder and let out a low snort; his hands clawed tightly into the suit of Ivar's shoulder, and Ivar patted his head lightly.

"Well, at least... the funeral won't be so bad for you then." he said, catching an indignant look from Heahmund, which he only returned with a shrug.

"We have no choice, like I said."

A honk sounded outside, and all four flinched violently; Hvitserk raised his eyes, already looking slightly dreamy.

"Fuck... Eggsy, get changed and join us as soon as you can. It's best if Hvitserk drinks a lot of water to get that stuff out. God, Eggsy...you must be from the mailman.", Heahmund said with a slight frown.

"Shut up, it wasn't like I wanted this!"

"It's okay now." Ivar said, taking Hvitserk's forearm in his hand; he guided his brother easily while Eggsy opened the front door.

"You just have to pretend everything's okay long enough. So Ubbe won't notice anything, because he'll kill Eggsy, me and Heahmund then. And with his kind, himself, too," Ivar added; he held Hvitserk tightly as he pulled slightly towards the flowerbed.

"The flowers smell like butter."

"Sure, everybody knows that," Ivar said, turning in a panic to Eggsy, who stood like a little pale something in the front doorway, watching the three of them get into Ubbe's car.

He raised his arm ever so slightly and with compressed lips nodded to Ubbe, who waved at him. Only when the car turned the corner slightly did he flee back into the house in a panic.

The first few miles through the city in the car were silent; until Ubbe cleared his throat and looked at the slightly cramped Heahmund and Ivar in the back seat through the mirror.

"Everything’s good? What else did you do inside?" he asked, and Ivar and Heahmund looked at each other slightly. Then Ivar put on a warm smile.

"I was arguing with Eggs about what he should wear. He refuses to wear a suit."

"Haha yeah, that’s my little... cutie... brother.", Heahmund laughed, and got a firm jab from Ivar in the ribcage for it - which Ubbe luckily didn't see because he had to brake hard. An elderly couple walked across the intersection, and Hvitserk suddenly looked around in confusion.

"Wasn't there a dog in here just now?" Hvitserk said, mouth agape; Ubbe at the steering wheel drew his eyebrows together, while Ivar and Heahmund exchanged brief glances in the back seat.

"What?" Ubbe asked, snorting in amusement, while Ivar lightly bit his lower lip. Hvitserk's gaze turned towards Ubbe in confusion, and he stared at his older brother slightly absently.

"There was a dog barking in here just now, wasn't there?"

"Hvitty what the... did you take dr...?" Ubbe began, but Ivar interrupted him frantically, putting his hand on Ubbe's shoulder from behind.

"Aren't we almost there?" he said with pointed curiosity, and Ubbe turned his gaze skeptically to the road. "Yes, in a minute," he said, giving Ivar a puzzled look through the rearview mirror. But his youngest brother only smiled an exaggeratedly broad and hearty smile, while Hvitserk pressed his head against the window, smiling slightly.

"You guys are acting weird. But today it’s okay. After all, today is an important day, and it's finally another day when the whole family gets to be together loving each other. If only Dad could see us like this," Ubbe said quietly, albeit with a soft, crooked smile at the corner of his mouth.

If only dad could see us.

Ivar's hands clenched slightly, and he exhaled softly. His brother was doped up on whatever drugs Eggsy had made up makeshift from his pharmacy studies. Bjorn would make a beastly speech, Ivar knew, even though it hurt his heart to think of his oldest brother that way. Sigurd and he would quarrel, and even that day hold grudges against each other. Ivar would show up at his father's funeral with his boyfriend, whom not many knew yet. Aunt Helga would have a heart attack. Ubbe would have a crisis as soon as he realized that Hvitserk hadn't just taken paracetamol. Oh yes, if only dad could see us.

But it was Heahmund's warm hands that closed around his and held him tightly; very tightly, so that Ivar immediately felt safe and comfortable. He glanced at his partner, and Heahmund smiled encouragingly at him. At least he was there - because with him, Ivar felt complete.

Even if his brother in the passenger seat wore a slight thread of drool in the corner of his mouth and was guaranteed to be fantasizing about yellow walls and butter-smelling flowers, and imaginary dogs barking in the car.

[sunaswife]

A Suna Rintarou series

Summary: Suna was the best boyfriend you could ask for, after fighting with your inner demons that screamed you were ugly, worthless, and annoying. You finally decided to go the next step with your boyfriend, only to find out it was all a game.

A/N: PART 21 two more chapters 🥺💔

Warnings: underaged drinking, smut, guys talking badly about women, heartbreak, messed up shit that you shouldn’t do and a bit of fluff if you squint

Disc ten-slide two: Kageyama Y/N 🤍

“Congratulations you’re pregnant.”

“Mom I don’t feel so good. I’ve been feeling a bit light headed and out of breath. My stomach hurts and I’ve been throwing up and feeling nauseous.” You mumbled as you came down to eat your breakfast. Your skirt seemed a bit tighter and you wondered if you were getting fatter.

“Do you have a fever?” She asked boredly and rested the back of her palm to your forehead. You bit your Apple and pouted. “I don’t have work today so let’s go to the hospital.” She said and you nodded. Today was Suna’s birthday. You forgot to take it off your calendar so right before you opened your phone this morning you saw:

Rin-rin’s b day 👑🖤🎉

You groaned and threw your phone on your carpeted floor.

The drive to the hospital was silent and awkward. It was obvious your mom wanted to go home and rest but she’d be an even shittier mom if she let you go to school feeling like shit.

You took a pee test right when you got there because you haven’t gone and you needed to go so bad. They took some blood and finally the doctor came and asked for your symptoms. “Are you sexually active?” She asked and your face turned red. Thank god your mom wasn’t here. She was waiting in the lobby.

“I’m assuming that’s a yes?” She asked. You bit your lip and played with your fingers. “Sweetie, we need you to tell us the truth so we can properly diagnose you. There is no shame if you are.” She said and you nodded. “Well I had sex over a month ago...just once and yeah.” You mumbled. “Okay...sweetie I have a question.” She said and you nodded. “Did he use protection? I need to make sure you don’t have HIV or an STD.” She said and you nodded. “Yeah I saw him bring the box of condoms to my room..” you muttered and tried to remember that night even though the memories hurt. You then realized you didn’t remember when he put it on or when he threw the condom away. “Wait—I don’t think he put one on. After I—I gave him a b-blow job we were too into it that I don’t think he did. Because we immediately started..ya know..” you were so embarrassed and she nodded. “Okay well I’m going to do a pregnancy test just in case okay?” She asked and you nodded.

When she left you started shaking. There was a possibility you were pregnant and it took everything in you to not text Suna. “How much longer?” You heard and you jumped. You turned to see your mom peeking her head in. “I don’t know..the doctor is gonna come back in a bit.” You said lowly and she nodded and sat down inside. Your heart started beating quickly and you looked very agitated. Your mom was too busy on her phone to notice how distressed her daughter looked.

“Okay Y/N. Oh are you the mom?” The doctor said when she came in. Your mom mumbled a yeah without looking up and the doctor looked at you with a small smile.

“Congratulations you’re pregnant.”

She said and your heart stopped. Your mom immediately looked up in shock at the doctor. This must be a mistake, she thought. Then she turned to look at you and you started to cry and that’s when she knew. “She’s what?” You mom asked coldly and your eyes widened. “Mom I’m so sorry.” You whispered and she looked at you with such disappointment.

“Who’s the father?” She immediately asked and you stayed silent. “Is it that kid with the bangs?” She asked referring to that one time she met Suna on your first date. You shook your head quickly and she looked furious. “Then whos the father?!” She raised her voice. “I—I don’t know! I don’t know!” You lied. “So you’re just a slut? Is that what you are? We raised you better than this? How could you be so stupid?” She asked and stood up.

“Ma’am stop. You’re her mother, you’re supposed to comfort her and support her.” The doctor said. “I’m not her mother. Just wait until I tell your father.” She hissed and you grabbed your moms arm. “No please wait—“ she removed her hand from your grasp and she went to the door. “Find a way home because I’m not taking you.” She said and slammed the door. The doctor stayed there with wide eyes and you started balling your eyes out.

“It’s okay, she’ll come around. It’s not the end of the world.” She said and put a pamphlet on your lap. It was about motherhood and what to expect and the other side talked about abortion and adoption. “Make an appointment with a gynecologist and then you can decide if you want the baby or not.” She said and you nodded and wiped your face.

You made your way out and you saw your mothers car gone. She was serious. You stopped by the pharmacy to get prenatals with the money you barley had and the pharmacist looked at you with such disappointment. You were still wearing your school uniform and asking for something pregnant women need. You eventually found a bus and went home. When you reached your house you found your fathers car and your stomach sank even more.

He was home early.

You did the walk of shame up the small steps and took out your keys to unlock the door. You were met with an quiet house but you heard rummaging up stairs. You gulped and slowly made your way up and you found your parents in your room trashing everything. “Who’s the father Y/N.” You dad said suddenly. They tried looking for photos of you with any boy. “I don’t know—“ you answered. “Bullshit. Who’s the father so they can fucking pay. If you decide on keeping the baby they better be responsible for it.” He said as he continued going through all your drawers. “I said I don’t know who he is! I met him at a party—I don’t remember.” You lied.

“So you’re a fucking slut? Is that it? Tell me who the father is before I kick you out.” He said and your eyes widened.

Suna Rintarou

Suna Rintarou

Suna Rintarou

Just say it.

“I don’t know.”

You lied once again and at that moment you were disowned by your parents.

You went to school the next day after spending the night at your best friends house. You told her what happened and her mom offered to let you stay for a bit. You called your aunt and she wanted you in Miyagi as soon as possible. Turns out she already knew and your father called her an idiot for taking you in. You told her you’d leave in three days so you can have the proper paperwork ready to leave. Such as you documents regarding school, citizenship etc.

It was pretty shameful walking through the sea of students and none of them knowing you were pregnant and it hurt even more looking at Suna.

Should you tell him?

Is he willing to quit school to provide for a child?

Do you even want the baby?

Yes of course.

Suna has so much ahead of him. He can join a professional team and become successful in life.

But he won’t be able to do that with a baby and his ex girlfriend holding him back.

“Y/N, is something wrong?” Kita-senpai asked and you nodded and he followed you to the coaches office.

Previously

Up next

Masterlist

A/N: poor y/n 😔 that’s all I have to say

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[ga-yuu]

~Morinaga~Main Story Chapter 14~

Warning!! This story has mentions of attempted rape and strong language. Geez! I felt dirty when I wrote this.

Chapter 13

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------Part 1------

Morinaga: "I've got the gist of it. But it's a toss-up whether we'll succeed."

As if to test me, Morinaga-san looked into my face.

Morinaga: “It’s an operation you need to be prepared for.”

(If I'm ready, I'm already ready on Morinaga-san's back.)

Yoshino: "When we were on the duty in the Kyoto, I ran to help a wounded soldier without thinking and almost died. Unlike that time, this time the stakes are high. Won't you let me fight as a pharmacist?"

Morinaga-san smiles and exhales briefly.

Morinaga: "----I tend to think of girls as objects to be protected, but I don't think you're one of those people."

(Ah....)

He touched me on my cheek and our eyes met.

I was surprised to find that a dangerous scent was beginning to permeate the air.

Morinaga: "All right. Go ahead and fight as hard as you can. You don't have to look back, you don't have to be afraid. Because if you fight for others, it's my job to fight for you."

Yoshino: "Mm......Thank you very much."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. That we fight together....

2. I'll win the bet...(+4/+4)

3. We are a hundred men...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshino: "I'll win the bet and I'll do it for Morinaga-san, who is helping me."

Morinaga: "I'm looking forward to your victory. Let's go."

He took my hand and puts me on the horse again.

The heat that enveloped me from behind had somehow already become familiar.

.............

(....This is , near the rebel camp, right?)

After sending out a messenger to inform Kagetoki-san of what had happened....

We were on our way to rescue an isolated supply convoy.

(In case you're wondering, we've taken a diversion to make it harder for the enemy to find us, but it's still dangerous.)

Morinaga: "We must hurry. I have a bad feeling about this."

Yoshino: "Bad feeling?"

When Morinaga-san says it, it's hard to believe."

Morinaga: "----Ah, oh no."

(Eh?)

Suddenly Morinaga-san puts his hand on the sword that was attached to his waist.

Morinaga: "Everyone, prepare for an enemy attack!"

Yoshino: "......!"

The soldiers drew their swords and looked around as if they had been shot.

Then there was a rumbling sound from ahead....

Yoshino: "It's you."

Morinaga: "He's here."

A dozen horses came galloping towards us, their hooves whipping up dust.

Yoshitsune: "I never thought I'd meet the Fierce General in such a place."

---------Part 2------

Yoshitsune: "I never thought I'd meet the Fierce General in such a place."

(No way! Not at a time like this!)

Shogunate soldier 1: “Minamoto no.....Yoshitsune-sama...”

Shogunate soldier 2: “God damn it....”

The Shogunate soldiers groaned in disbelief at the sight of Yoshitsune-sam, who was clearly outnumbered.

Yoshitsune: “Looks like you came a long way.”

Morinaga: “Yeah, and I’m lost. Can you show me the way back?”

Yoshitsune: “Unfortunately, I’m only familiar with one way and that leads to hell.”

He drew his sword with a slender motion and narrowed his eyes sharply.

Yoshitsune: “Our prey is Adachi Morinaga, the Fierce General of the Shogunate. There will be no shortage for our hunger. Hunt without mercy per the wishes of the Shogunate.”

Rebel soldiers: *ROARS*

Morinaga: “There’s no room for a piece of meat for these troublemakers. Push through!”

Shogunate soldiers: *ROARS*

The sound of swords being clashed and arrows being flung echoes through the air.

In the middle off it all, running in a straight line towards us, is none other than Yoshitsune-sama

Yoshitsune: “..............”

Shogunate soldier 1: “Eat this!”

Shogunate soldier 2: “Strike down the enemy and win the war.”

A few Shogunate soldiers bravely attacked.

Yoshitsune(icy glare): “Get out of my way.”

(Ah...)

Without looking in their direction, Yoshitsune-sama simply swung his sword sideways.

Shogunate soldier 1: “Ahh.....”

With no slowing down at all, he cuts down the soldiers and quickly closes the distance between us.

Morinaga: “That’s one dangerous little brother. Yoshino, stay low and don’t move.”

Yoshino: “...Yes.”

Yoshitsune-sama loomed in front of Morinaga-san, who held his sword squarely in his hand.

His clear amethyst eyes were shining like a beast.

Yoshitsune: “I heard you took care of Kurama yesterday.”

Morinaga: “Yeah. And nice to meet you today.”

Yoshitsune: “Yeah, and there won’t be tomorrow.”

(So fast----)

When I looked up, our swords were already touching.

Morinaga: “Well, you’re getting better and better, aren’t you?”

Yoshitsune(icy glare): “Vengeance has sharpened my blade.”

Morinaga: “If so...that’s...difficult!!”

Yoshitsune: “.....!”

In the end, he was able to avoid the white blade with a flick of hid finger.

He then danced his way into Morinaga-san’s bosom.

Morinaga: “Ku.......”

-------Part 3--------

In the end, he was able to avoid the white blade with a flick of hid finger.

He then danced his way into Morinaga-san’s bosom.

Morinaga: “Ku.......”

The white blade attacked with a rising bite.

Morinaga-san barely caught it with the edge of his sword.

It makes a suffocating noise and their sparring match continues.

(.....I don’t have the time to blink!)

Yoshitsune: “I’m sorry, Morinaga. I wish you were my vassal.”

Morinaga: “Yoshitsune-sama is certainly a charming person. Maybe if I met you before Yoritomo-sama, I might have followed you. But now----we’re both going down together.”

Yoshitsune: “What?”

As he leapt to his feet, he was struck by the white blade and blood ran down his arm.

Yoshino: “Morinaga-san!”

Morinaga: “Don’t worry.”

Without a second thought, Morinaga-san swung his sword straight down.

Yoshitsune(expressionless): “......”

Yoshitsune-sama, who should have been right underneath him, floated in the air as if he had forgotten gravity.

(Eh)

Yoshitsune-sama, who has jumped down lightly, caresses' the nose of the horse, which looked surprise and lodges it in his hands.

Morinaga: “Forgive me Yoshitsune-sama, I am in need of your brother.”

Yoshitsune(icy glare): “Well then, it can’t be helped. I’ll return your head to Yoritomo.”

(Not good-----)

With a deep emptiness and a fierce fire, Yoshitsune-sama’s eye reflected Morinaga.

Morinaga: “Looks like he won’t leave me anytime soon.Yoshino!”

Yoshino: “Yes.”

Morinaga: “I'll instructed my men. You should go first.”

Yoshino: “Morinaga-san!?”

He makes me grab the reins and jumps off the horse.

Morinaga: “Protect Yoshino!”

Immediately, several Shogunate soldiers surrounded me.

Yoshitsune: “You’re being reckless.”

Morinaga: “Well, we don’t have much time.”

They both kick the ground at the same time.

Without pausing for breath, the slashes sparked.

Shogunate soldier 3: “Yoshino-san, this way!”

(....I’m worried about Morinaga-san, but...I have no choice but to do as he says...)

Yoshitsune: “----Wait!”

With a voice that has a strange mass to it, a murderous energy hits you all over.

(No.......)

But-------

Morinaga: “Don’t look the other way while I’m here, Yoshitsune-sama.”

-------Part 4------

Morinaga: “Don’t look the other way while I’m here, Yoshitsune-sama. Look only at me, okay?”

Morinaga-san’s eyes are not smiling as he makes fun of him.

Yoshitsune: “Unreadable man.”

Morinaga: “I’m flattered.”

I kick the horse’s belly with his men, listening to the sounds of the swords touching fiercely behind me.

Yoshino: “Morinaga-san....please be safe.”

I whispered that all in my heart and sprinted desperately through the midst of the battle.

.......................

Shogunate soldier 1: “Here....there’s one of them here!”

(It’s true!)

The familiar banners of the Shogunate have fallen without effort.

Beside them lay the bleeding soldiers.

Yoshino: “This is terrible...”

I jumped off the horse trying to control my impatience.

Injured soldier 1: “.....Why....here...”

Injured soldier 2: “....am...I ...dream...ing...?”

Yoshino: “You’re not! I’ll treat you right way.”

Kneeling down to assess the depth of his injuries.

The sleeve of the soldier’s robe, which was almost torn, was split open and used as a tourniquet.

Shogunate soldier 2: “But if they attack us now, none of us will survive.”

Shogunate soldier 3: “One of us will keep watch, the rest will split up to secure supplies and help Yoshino-san.”

Yoshino: “Thank you for your help!”

-----Soon after the treatment was over, I relaxed a bit.

Shogunate soldier 4: “What do you think, Yoshino-san? These guys are...”

Yoshino: “We’ve done everything we can.”

(Still, some soldiers bleed much more than others. Whether you survive depends on your luck.)

(At least we have to be ready to escape as soon as Morinaga-san comes.)

Yoshino: “Excuse me, can you help me get the badly wounded soldiers on the horse?”

Shogunate soldier 4: “Of course. Hey you guys!”

Soldiers: “SURE!”

At that time-----

The sound of several horse’ hooves approached.

(Maybe Morinaga-san!? Or----)

--------Part 5--------

At that time-----

The sound of several horse’ hooves approached.

(Maybe Morinaga-san!? Or----)

Man 1: “Hey hey, it’s Shogunate bastards.”

Man 2: “Yeah, and they’re all crushed.”

(.....It’s it the enemy! Then that’s worse!)

A group of badly dressed men appeared in front of us laughing.

Shogunate soldier 4: “You guys....the Rebel army!”

Man 3: “Ha, do we look like one of them?”

Yoshino: “If you aren’t from the Rebels, then?”

(Then who the hell are these guys?)

Man 4: “Don’t rack your brain cells, missy.”

The leacherous stare caught me and it gave me goosebumps.

Man 5: “Looks like we got ourselves a prey for tonight. Man are we lucky.”

(I don’t know anything about the situation, but if this is the case.)

There are only four men with me, and they are my guards.

If we stand up to them, they will kill us all, including the wounded.

Yoshino: “Wait! If you’re not the rebel soldier, can you at least spare lives of the injured soldiers? As you can see, we’re not in a condition to fight.”

Shogunate soldier 1: “...Yoshino-san.”

(A samurai mustn't beg for his life. I am the only one who is allowed to do that here.)

I bowed my head desperately for everyone.

Yoshino: “Please! I’m only asking you that much...”

Man 1: “Hey, why is there a woman in such a place?”

Yoshino: “....I’m a pharmacist. I’m in charge of treating the soldiers.”

Man 2: “Pharmacist? Useless. The battlefield is not a place to treat people, it’s to kill them. A pharmacist, and on top of that a woman is complete useless idiot.”

There was a simultaneous burst if vulgar laughter.

(-----I’m frustrated by these guys.)

Though I think about it, I didn’t raise my head.

(Even if they don’t listen to my plea, I can at least try to buy some time. Yes! Let me do at least that!)

Man 1: “You know what ya more suitable of? Come here, I tell you.”

Shogunate soldier 2: “You bastard.....! If you try touching Yoshino-san I’ll----”

Yoshino: “No! If we lose anymore people, we’ll never get out of here.”

(-----I’m scared.)

With my trembling legs, I stepped forward to stop the Shogunate’s soldiers who were clasping their swords.

Man 1: “Take it all off.”

(I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.)

Man 2: “Hurry up or we’ll kill em.”

Yoshino: “Please don’t! I’ll do as you say.”

In despair, I slowly put my palm on my obi.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the Shogunate soldiers clenching their teeth and looking away.

(....Thank you everyone.)

I’m sad and regrettable. I feel the tears rushing down to my cheeks.

(No! I’m never going to cry in front of these scumbags.)

I bet my lips to hold back my tears----

Morinaga: “----What the hell is going on here?”

(....! No way!)

Morinaga(furious): “I don’t care who you guys are....but for what you have done...”

Yoshino: “Morinaga...san...”

With a cold anger all over his body, Morinaga-san walks up to me.

Man 1: “What the fuck? Hey you. Stop right there or we’ll----”

Morinaga: “I’m the one giving the orders now.”

The men’s reaction was delayed for a moment, perhaps because they misjudged Morinaga-san, who was walking alone.

Morinaga: “Get away from her, if not-----”

(.....!!!)

Morinaga-san, who kicked the ground, closed the distance between us in one breath.

Morinaga: “then die.”

Chapter 15