#the people from Tango could do something hilarious | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frozenjokes · 4 months

Text

The Art Of Being Kidnapped [1/2]

next / Ao3 link with CWs

“Byeeee! Have a nice time!” Tango’s cheery lilt echoed across the icy cavern before the metal door, built like a vault, slammed shut. A superhero Jimmy didn’t recognize rolled across the slick floor, momentum from being thrown inside carrying him a considerable distance. Sometimes Jimmy forgot Tango was quite strong; certainly not the beefiest among his line of work, but enough to send a small avian skidding across the floor of his dungeon.

The avian’s wings and hands were bound, just like Jimmy’s were, but the ropes were only meant to last for travel, and sure enough, within minutes of writhing and foaming at the mouth on the ground (which he didn’t have to do, his legs weren’t bound..), the superhero was free, flying to the door and slamming the full force of his body against it, predictably, winding himself immediately.

Jimmy stifled a laugh as the avian stumbled backwards with a heaving chest, falling into a sit to catch his breath. It was a wonder he hadn’t noticed Jimmy yet, but then again, the particularly angry superheroes always took a bit more time. Unfortunate. Jimmy hoped this guy wasn’t as much of an asshole as he looked (after many years of this, Jimmy got pretty good at figuring out who he was dealing with relatively fast), but if that was the case, Jimmy was sure he could needle a larger tip out of Tango in the case that this guy really gave him trouble. This was an unusual job in the first place; Jimmy had never been asked to trap participants in a maze before, then supervise while they traversed it. But Decked Out was fun and Tango paid handsomely, so really, Jimmy didn’t mind the change of pace.

“Help?” Jimmy tried, though the hero didn’t hear him over his own banging on the door and ferocious screeching. He got a sense of dejavu watching, though he’d seen this kind of temper tantrum about a thousand times by now. Still, the familiarity of this hero was something he couldn’t quite shake.

“Hey! Help me? Please?” Jimmy wiggled a little pathetically against his restraints, far from tight, but enough not to slip out without effort. Personally, Jimmy would rather save his energy for the hero.

The avian turned, then froze where he stood, like the guy he was called to come save was the last thing he expected to see at his feet. Jimmy suppressed a sigh. This guy was going to be insufferable.

“JIMMY!?”

Jimmy stopped. Now, that sort of reaction wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for heroes that knew him, but Jimmy had never seen this one before, so unless this guy had been warned (something which, hilariously, never seemed to be the case), Jimmy didn’t know what to do with that. But the avian didn’t sound angry.. Oh, worse idea, Jimmy used to know this person. Not the least bit unlikely given he attended the shittiest college in the city with all the poorest, most troubled kids around. Jimmy hadn’t even lasted long enough to get a degree, it was just too much. Hence the work he did now.

Exactly what that was..? Well, when people asked what he did for work, he usually answered freelance. Freelance kidnapping? Freelance being kidnapped? He was still working on the title. Needless to say, living in a place like this you learn pretty quickly that 90% of the ‘superheroes’ and the villains they fight are either cripplingly insecure, pieces of shit, or both, but sometimes the wannabe villains have a bit of an attention craving they just can’t scratch on their own. It turns out that Doing Evil can be a lot of work, and sometimes you just want to take out your daddy issues on an equally unstable individual under the guise of villainy without all the fuss! So for a price, Jimmy makes the fuss for them! He’ll scream, let himself be dramatically carried away, shoved into an unmarked van, generally manhandled- whatever gets the attention of an unsuspecting superhero who Jimmy would then lead into a trap, arena, whatever he’s getting paid for, and bam! Everyone’s happy!

Some villains didn’t even want the attention of superheroes, they just enjoyed catching Jimmy off his guard, which, by the way, was not part of any of his contracts, but Joel wasn’t going to stop Kidnapping First, Paying Later anytime soon, so at this point it was just a fact of his life he had to get used to.

Oh right, the job he was doing right now.

“Do I know you?” These words seemed to snap the hero back in his facade, the avian shifting his weight in a show of nerves.

“I- no, I don’t think so. No, no, definitely not. Probably not. Sorry. Just reminded me of someone I know.”

Jimmy snorted, rolling his eyes. “Someone called Jimmy? That’s my name too, what a coincidence.”

“You don’t have a brother, do you?” The hero looked sheepish, but it was good natured, a ghost of a smile just visible under his mask.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got one. He looks exactly like me and’s called Jimmy, how did you know?”

Ther hero crossed his arms in a sweeping gesture, snarking with a scoff, “Oh shut it with the sarcasm,” but even though the tone behind his voice was teasing, Jimmy felt like he had been transported right back to his college dorm. He recognized that. He knew exactly who this was. Short, dirty blonde avian with dark talons and a darker temper? Of course he became a superhero, what a damn perfect fit for a guy like that. ‘JIMMY?’ He recognized that too. The scream, pitched in all the worst ways. After a while, every word Grian spoke was like pulling a cheese grater over and over across his ears until they were nothing but stumps. Yeah, Tango would be tipping him big today.

“Jimmy? You okay?” The direct address snapped Jimmy back to reality, though he wasn’t sure how much he had missed. Regardless, Grian did get to work, kneeling to undo his restraints. Jimmy was relieved to stretch his wings, slowly getting to his feet once the ropes were cut. “This is embarrassing,” Grian said, and Jimmy was sure it was, “Forget I said anything. I think we shared a class or two, that’s all.”

“I get it.” Jimmy mumbled, tucking his wings back. “Tango’s been sending out all sorts of reports and notices to trick people into coming out here, so it’s your lucky day I guess. You won’t be staying long though, he just wants you to run the dungeon and then you can fly off.”

Grian’s eyes were obscured by the mask, but Jimmy was pretty sure they narrowed. “I’ve never heard of a ‘Tango’ before. Who is he? How long have you been here? Is he just keeping you here as bait?” How sweet of Grian to not realize he’s been set up yet. Well, Jimmy wasn’t about to break the news if he didn’t have to.

“He keeps a low profile. Tango’s been shut in working on this place for the last fifteen years, so I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of him, especially since the location is so out of the way of the city. Decked Out is newly finished- it’s a game, basically. He wants to watch people play it. It’s not what you’d call ‘up to code’ though, so it’s pretty dangerous. Need the athletic sort to make it any bit interesting. But yeah, I’m bait.” Jimmy shrugged, “He keeps me around to explain the rules. Usually the kidnappee, you, is a little more receptive to someone on their level, me, rather than.. y’know.”

“I’ll get you out of here.”

Jimmy laughed, he couldn’t help himself, though he quieted when he saw the bottom half of Grian’s face screw up, bracing himself to be yelled at. It never came.

“I’ve heard that before,” Jimmy settled on instead, taking a careful breath. He didn’t like the way Grian was looking at him. He never really liked the way Grian looked at him; despite his softer features, Grian’s face was anything but kind.

“Well I’m sure you’ve heard this before as well, but I’m different. I do my due diligence unlike most of the douchebags in this town. Where’s the way out?”

Stubborn. Vindictive. Jimmy wondered if Grian had changed at all in the dozen years since they’d talked. He shrugged. “The gate isn’t open yet, but it should be ready soon. Until then, what should I call you?”

Grian blinked. “Oh- CuteGuy. You can call me CuteGuy.”

“Well then, CuteGuy, once you go in you’re going to get a compass-“ Jimmy stopped short at yelling from down the hall, Grian as well freezing in his place.

“UNHAND ME AT ONCE! I SWEAR if you singe my uniform I am SENDING YOU THE BILL!” Oh! Well that was a lovely surprise. Jimmy heard Tango grumble something in response, but he was mostly drowned out by HotGuy’s dramatics. Good man HotGuy was, always making sure to give those supervillains what they paid for, though, Tango wasn’t exactly looking for a fight.

At once Grian was on his toes, creeping toward the door, but Jimmy shook his head. “I would stand back.”

‘Tango breathes fire’ was left unsaid when Grian shot him a sharp glare, not listening of course, and Jimmy wasn’t about to fight him, perfectly content to watch Grian get a face full of flame as Tango swung the door open. Grian reeled back with a startled yelp, but Jimmy doubted he was actually too hurt, not when Tango was skilled in controlling the temperature of his fire. His eyes would certainly sting though; deserved, certainly, for thinking Tango wouldn’t be ready for an attack. Idiot.

In the wake of the flame, a thoroughly netted HotGuy was pushed inside, decidedly much heavier than an avian and therefore unthrowable, but HotGuy didn’t seem to mind, struggling valiantly until the metal door slammed shut, Tango continuing to grumble from the other side as he walked down the hall.

“Jimmy!” HotGuy threw up his arms, a gesture hindered by the net. Jimmy snorted, moving to help HotGuy out while he continued to blabber on, “I was hoping you’d be here! It’s been a while dude, how’ve you been? Still going strong?” HotGuy didn’t even wait until the net was entirely untangled to try and stand, movement that made everything needlessly difficult, but Jimmy didn’t mind. Though he didn’t get the chance to respond either when HotGuy screamed, practically jumping into Jimmy’s arms.

“CuteGuy! How long have you been there, standing all stiff and puffed up and angry like a miniature gargoyle, look at you!”

Grian did, in fact, look like a puffed up cat, but HotGuy’s comment snapped him out of his frozen state, shooting back with a huff, “Miniature? How big do you think gargoyles are?”

“I mean, probably pretty big! Protecting stuff and all.”

Grian sighed sharply, a sound that set Jimmy’s feathers on end. But Grian didn’t push back, changing the subject. “You two.. know each other?”

HotGuy jumped to his toes, eyes absolutely radiant as he turned to Jimmy. “He doesn’t know?” his tone was colored with excitement, and Jimmy had to laugh, shaking his head.

“Know what?” Grian snapped at HotGuy, sucking away all the joy from the air, “What don’t I know?” Jimmy couldn’t stop himself from whirling around, an aggressive movement that seemed to catch Grian off guard, surprise clear in his raised wings, but Jimmy stopped himself, shaking his head. Not worth the fight. HotGuy looked confused by the rise in tension, bringing Jimmy back down to Earth.

“I doubt anyone else will come,” he said instead, stony, “I rarely get two at once. The gates should open soon.”

Grian. God. Jimmy should be over this by now. He thought he was over it.

Jimmy was a sociable guy. Making friends wasn’t a chore for him, but keeping them was much harder, and finding perfect fits seemed nearly impossible. Oftentimes he felt very out of place. He was an athletic sort of person, sporty, but a lot more sensitive than most guys. He really enjoyed being in shape, the structure of practice and working out, but he didn’t always love the social aspect of playing competitive sports, and college football wasn’t an exception. Too much pressure, too much toeing the line of people he wanted to associate with, and don’t get him wrong, these guys were his brothers, that’s just how the intensity of college sports worked, but Jimmy never felt able to be wholly.. there. They just weren’t exactly right, not warm enough, not free enough with their interests and hobbies and love.

Grian was his randomly assigned roommate for the first semester of college dorm life, and like most people Grian was pretty reserved in the beginning. Didn’t have many friends, kept to himself, but liked to go to the dining hall and such with Jimmy if for no other reason than to have someone to go with. Grian was chatty once you got him going, and weird, unabashedly odd in all the best kinds of ways. They didn’t have many common interests, but talking with Grian made Jimmy want to check out the things he was into, to understand all his incredibly specific rants and takes on topics Jimmy had zero knowledge of. Grian was fun, a little shy at first, but genuinely delightful to listen to, confident in his opinions in the way that put you on board even when you had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He was charming! He was kind of cool in a way, the dorky kind of cool. The ‘cringe is dead and Grian killed it’ kind of way.

But even on his best behavior, Grian was always so.. angry. It changed the atmosphere of every room he entered, thick and boggy like wading through swamp water. There was just something wrong with him, like, literally wrong, the type of wrongness that sparks concern, that makes you wonder what happened? The type of wrongness that makes an outsider want to meet you with compassion, to help you, to make your miserable world a little bit less drab.

The delusions of a savior complex, really. But at first it wasn’t that bad. Grian was mostly reclusive, but despite a bit of awkwardness, he was surprisingly socially adept, charming and funny when it came to first impressions and relatively skilled at being liked by his peers. But the warning signs were there. The constant balling of his fists when the smallest thing didn’t go his way, the twitch of his strained smile, his always-tense shoulders. Grian seemed to view every social interaction like it was war, and he’d do anything to win. It was like he knew how pervasively unpleasant he was inside, how bubbling negativity coated his insides like black tar. He needed to be competitive. He needed to be on top.

And somewhere along the line Grian had decided Jimmy was the enemy.

Jimmy didn’t know what he’d done to make Grian hate him so much. Was it the positivity? Jimmy had tried to offset the stream of anger with his own suggestions; maybe she was late for class, maybe the sun was in his eyes, maybe they just missed the trash can and didn’t notice- He hadn’t been trying to challenge Grian, he didn’t even believe half of the excuses he spouted whenever Grian whined or complained about something entirely inconsequential, he just wanted his ex-roommate to realize that not everyone was personally out to get him, y’know?

How Grian decided Jimmy was one of those people working against him, Jimmy had no idea. Sometimes Jimmy thought that Grian was psychotic, like, literally in the Very Mentally Unwell sense of the word. He was just so.. defensive. Paranoid. Mean, and not always on purpose, he would just say things that dug at Jimmy’s patience until he was constantly teetering on the edge of snapping back and really making a mess of things.

Most of the time though, when Grian was mean, it was on purpose. At some point early on Grian had decided he couldn’t trust Jimmy, and god Jimmy spent so much time trying to earn that trust back just to be slighted over and over- petty things, constant criticism over the slang he used, the music he listened to- god forbid Jimmy forget something in the dorm or come back a little late from a bar after Grian had gone to sleep.

And the worst thing was, Jimmy wanted to help him! He still wanted to help Grian after months and months of being mistreated. He wanted to be a friend to someone who clearly needed some sort of support in a city that was run dry of resources for even those who could afford them. Jimmy wasn’t stupid. He’d grown up on the edge of poverty like so many of his peers, worked to help pay his parents’ debts since he was first able. He’d watched high school classmates do the same, fall to drinking or drugs, die before they even hit 18. He spent so much time being afraid for Grian, intrusive imaginings of how he might die young haunting boring lectures. Oftentimes he’d be overwhelmed by those anxieties, intense impulses sending him sprinting back to the dorm, throwing the door open certain of what he’d find, just to see Grian in his lofted bed, headphones in, glaring at his phone. Sometimes Grian would look up, meet Jimmy’s frightened eyes, then look back down. Sometimes he’d be ignored altogether. Sometimes.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

Grian knew Jimmy’s schedule by heart, memorized before even Jimmy had it down. Oftentimes, Jimmy found that Grian would get quite upset, if either of their schedules were changed last minute. If Jimmy showed up somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be when Grian wasn’t expecting it.

That made bouts like this all the more embarrassing. Grian wanted an answer. Jimmy didn’t want to know what he’d say if he heard Jimmy was worried about him for no reason. So he lied. He always lied.

“I forgot. I’ll go now.”

Grian would scoff. “Idiot.” Jimmy heard that a lot. Stupid. Dumbass. Idiot. The like.

Jimmy wasn’t stupid.

But the harder Jimmy tried, the more Jimmy pushed, the more vindictively abusive Grian became. That first semester of college were some of the worst months of Jimmy’s life. Trapped in a dorm room not much bigger than a prison cell with a guy who went out of his way to find fault with every singular thing Jimmy did. You’re so loud Jim, you’re so damn loud. That was his main complaint. As much as Jimmy loathed Grian’s voice, the other seemed to despise his own tenfold whether Jimmy was singing, talking on the phone, or simply speaking to friends while playing games, Grian had these physical reactions like he wanted to tear off his own skin. By the end of the semester, both of them sat on their sides of the room in complete silence.

Jimmy didn’t see HotGuy coming when the hero launched forward for a hug, a gesture Jimmy returned with a laugh as HotGuy squeezed, picking him up and spinning him around. At this point, Jimmy had accepted HotGuy had way too much energy to spend doing anything else, and honestly, he couldn’t say he minded. It was nice to have someone be so excited to see him.

“How long has it been? Over a year, surely!” HotGuy practically sang right into Jimmy’s ear, and Jimmy couldn’t help the dry thought of how much Grian must hate HotGuy from slipping through. “I missed you! You’ve got to come by more often, come on, work can’t be that hard to come by in the big city, huh?”

Jimmy wheezed a bit under HotGuy’s grip, tapping his shoulder somewhat urgently, “Okay, bud. Can’t breathe. Time to put me down, big man. And yeah, work can be that bad when everyone knows who you are. Sorry!”

“I’m feeling out of the loop here,” Grian cut in, but to Jimmy’s own sick delight, HotGuy didn’t even acknowledge the other hero, focus entirely on Jimmy.

“So what’s it this time? We busting you out? Dramatic chase? Explosions? Actually, I would rather not get blown up. But this guy’s got a fire thing going on, is stuff going to explode?”

“You’re not busting me out,” Jimmy waved HotGuy off when the other lingered a little too long in his personal bubble, “There’s an exit at the end of the game whether you win or lose, but since you’re going in one at a time, there won’t be any-“

THE DUNGEON IS READY FOR ITS NEXT VICTIM

The gate ahead began to churn open and cool air whooshed through, particles of ice and snow dusting the path ahead. Jimmy laughed off HotGuy’s mortified looking expression, uncomfortably avoiding Grian’s eye. He didn’t imagine a trapped Grian was a very pleasant one, and given the loaded silence as Jimmy started toward the open door, he got the sense Grian was thinking quite intensely. Jimmy had zero desire to know what was going on in that head.

“Come on,” he said, forcing a smile to a wary looking HotGuy, “It’s not too bad. I’ll grab you both your compasses and give the rundown. You’ll have to leave that bow though, sorry. It’ll be returned to you later.” HotGuy blinked back to attention, scrambling a little to catch up while Grian stayed at the rear, quiet.

“I have to leave my bow? Are you sure? I don’t know if I like the sound of the uh- dungeon. Do I get anything to defend myself? What’s down there?”

“Tango’s dogs are down there. You don’t want to shoot Tango’s dogs, do you HotGuy? Those are his pets!”

“Well-“ HotGuy looked flustered, like a guy who probably would want to shoot Tango’s dogs, but didn’t want Jimmy to know that. There was a reason Jimmy didn’t outright say Tango’s dogs were actually ravagers. “Alright, but do Tango’s dogs eat people?”

“They might shake you around a bit, but no, they won’t eat you. Plenty of people have gone through the dungeon plenty of times, lost, and hopped right back in. It’s meant to be played over and over, you’ll be fine.”

“And it’s the only way out?” Grian’s voice sliced the air, hard and focused, and Jimmy nearly jumped at the sound. Everything sounded so critical out of his mouth.

“You think I’d lie?” Jimmy couldn’t crush down the snark as he side-eyed Grian behind him, but Grian’s expression barely shifted, his wings only lowering slightly.

“I didn’t-“

“Wellllll,” HotGuy cut in unhelpfully, missing the tension as he wrapped a playful arm around Jimmy’s shoulder.

“Okay-“ Grian shook his head, hands brushing his face in loose fists, “What is going on with you two.”

“Nothing! Nothing!” HotGuy jumped up and away, instead falling back to walk with Grian, getting in his space and tousling his hair. The casual movement made Jimmy freeze in place, but Grian only squeaked, batting at HotGuy with palmed hands, careful not to catch the other’s skin with his talons. For a moment Grian met Jimmy’s eye, and then it was over, HotGuy grabbing at his hands and wrestling him without a single care in the world.. Whatever.

Warily, Jimmy left them to do their thing. He didn’t feel good about it- actually, he felt a lot like he was leaving HotGuy with a ticking time bomb, but he did have to get their compasses, so might as well go while Grian was in a good(?) mood. What a novel concept that was. Jimmy sighed, zipping up his coat as he stepped into a side room.

For a long moment he considered giving Grian a Level 2 compass, but that wouldn’t really be plausible, and honestly Grian probably wouldn’t make it out of Level 1 anyway. Tango wouldn’t be happy either; his focus was on testing how new players reacted to the game, and anything beyond Level 1 would probably be overwhelming.

Hm. Would Tango let Jimmy into the tunnels to watch Grian’s run while HotGuy was still in the waiting room? Jimmy would really love nothing more than to watch Grian scream and run around and eat shit on the icy paths, but Tango wouldn’t want HotGuy unsupervised, so it probably wouldn’t happen. Unless Jimmy sent HotGuy in first.. Surely the few extra minutes spent with Grian would be worth it. Yeah, no, that would be good. He’d give HotGuy an easy artifact spot so he’d either win or be carried out by a ravager quickly, then send Grian deep into Level 1. Yes. Perfect.

“Is this it?” HotGuy asked when Jimmy returned, fingers curled around the bars of the gate that separated the three of them from the dungeon. Grian was looking as well, though more intensely, head pressed against the bars like he wanted to gather as much information as humanly possible. Jimmy couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Yeah,” he started, slipping into his prepared speech, “So basically, the point of the game is to find an artifact hidden in the dungeon, then bring it back to the start without getting caught by Tango’s dogs. The artifact placement is random, but your compass will help you find them; they point in the direction of a hidden panel on the floor. Once you find the panel, press your compass to the spot and it will be exchanged for an artifact. Then bring it back here.”

“How do we start?” Grian turned, eager, or maybe just antsy as he eyed the compasses in Jimmy’s hands.

“Not yet, and you’ll go one at a time, HotGuy first.” Though Grian didn’t look satisfied, and in a panicked gesture to appease him, Jimmy added, “Here, both of you can take these and once you’re ready you’ll press the bottom to the indent over on the panel by the gate,” Jimmy handed the compasses over gingerly, HotGuy taking it with curious fingers and Grian outright snatching it out of Jimmy’s hand, but before Jimmy could recoil or even react, Grian was on top of the panel, slamming his compass in before whirling around and grabbing Jimmy’s hand in a vice grip.

“I’m getting you out of here. Come on, HotGuy! Let’s get this over with.”

Jimmy’s mouth ran dry as the gate screeched open, only managing to squeak out a “One at a time!” before he was yanked forward, HotGuy cheering behind him. Jimmy nearly tumbled down the steps as Grian bolted into the maze, struggling to catch his tongue enough to form words. “This really isn’t necessary!”

“We’re going to save you, Jimmy!” HotGuy sang, oblivious to his distress, “Don’t worry a hair on your silly little head, with us you’ll be out of here in no time!” HotGuy winked and Jimmy didn’t get the chance to groan, far more preoccupied with Grian’s refusal to let go, and only having the mind to struggle out of his grip as the gate shuddered to a close.

“The game isn’t- guys-“ Jimmy stumbled back to the gate, but it would not be reopening any time soon. “The game isn’t meant to be played with three people! I don’t even have a compass! You need an artifact to get out!”

“Sounds to me like you only need one,” Grian said, perfectly unconcerned despite the new danger, not that he knew the ravagers were around, “I’m sure all three of us can scoot out at once if we’re quick, and if this ‘Tango’ tries to do anything about it, there’ll be two of us to keep you safe.” Jimmy didn’t even get the chance to respond to that before Grian clicked his tongue, “HotGuy, give me your compass.”

“Why? What if I want it?” HotGuy smirked and Grian scoffed, hopping forward to snatch it from him. HotGuy stepped out of the way and held it high out of Grian’s reach, causing the other to squawk and ultimately slip on the ice when he jumped to grab it. Jimmy found himself flinching when HotGuy laughed in Grian’s face, but the hero’s joy quickly turned to a shrill yelp as Grian leapt on him, clambering up his body with the compass in his sights. Unfortunately, the added weight unbalanced HotGuy on the ice and sent both of them tumbling to the ground. Certainly within Grian’s reach, the avian lunging for his prize and rolling out of range of a possible retaliation before getting to his feet.

“Right then.” Grian examined both compasses with great scrutiny, walking a little ways in different directions and nearing corners Jimmy just hoped had a ravager behind them. But Grian was never punished for his lack of attention, never straying too far. In fairness, HotGuy was doing very little to be careful himself, struggling to keep his footing without the talons Jimmy and Grian had; Jimmy would have given him grips for his shoes, but someone was in a hurry. For himself he would have grabbed the fluffy socks Tango had made to help keep his feet from getting too cold, so that was just another thing to resent Grian for. (Grian would not get socks. He did not deserve them.)

“HotGuy’s artifact is closest, so we’re going there.”

“How’d you puzzle that out? Actually, I don’t care.” HotGuy shuffled closer, poking his head over Grian’s shoulder. HotGuy caught Jimmy’s eye, throwing him a narrowed eye smirk before wiggling his fingers and jumping on Grian, wrestling the screeching avian until they both slipped, a crushed Grian losing his grip on the compass and unable to reclaim it before HotGuy scrambled over him (both parties kicking and screaming) until he slid across the compass, grabbing it with both hands.

“If it’s my compass, I get to hold it!” HotGuy got to his knees, arm shooting into the air to brandish his prize.

Grian let his head hit the ice. “We are never getting to our location.”

Jimmy crossed his arms. “Hey, HotGuy gets around the city fine. He could be a great maze navigator.”

“Thank you!” With some struggle, HotGuy got back to his feet, the momentum sliding him back into a forked path where he promptly fell back on his ass.

“We are never getting to our location.”

“You just wait CuteGuy, I’m gonna..” but HotGuy trailed off, eyes blinking wide as he stared at something down the tunnel. Jimmy’s feathers rose as he heard the grunt, but Grian didn’t seem to understand, looking between the two of them with a confused expression before the ravager bulldozed down the hall, HotGuy having no time to run before he was bowled down the hall, “THAT’S NOT A DOG!”

Jimmy spun on his heel, but the noticeable absence of Grian made him turn back around, having to lunge to grab him before the idiot tried to fight a ravager on HotGuy’s behalf.

“Other direction!”

“HotGuy’s-“

“He’ll be fine. We need to go.” Jimmy didn’t give Grian the time to argue, grabbing his wrist and overpowering him when it came to dexterity on the ice. Grian squawked, but luckily ravagers were not sensitive to sound, extra lucky when they turned a corner directly into the face of another and Grian shrieked, nearly falling on his ass before Jimmy pulled him up and back in the right direction.

“Get out of its line of sight!”

Grian only continued to shriek in response. Great. But after dragging Grian kicking and screaming around a couple corners, the ravager got off their tails, grunting as its heavy hooves lumbered down another icy tunnel. Grian let himself slide to a stop once Jimmy let go of his wrist, drifting to a wall and sliding against it to sit on the rocky ground and catch his breath. Jimmy hardly stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

“They don’t have much object permanence,” he mumbled instead, “Poor hearing as well. Still, maybe try to stop screaming. There’s about five around on this floor, so at the very least we know where a few of them are. We should keep going.”

“There’s more than one floor?”

“Yes, but our artifacts are on Level 1. It’s not too bad. And if we’re quick, we might still be able to find HotGuy. The ravagers are trained to take someone out of the game once they’re sufficiently down for the count, which is usually about two hits. If HotGuy got away, his artifact is definitely easier, but Tango will take the compass if he’s down, so we have to find him quickly. I think I know where he’ll end up, but stay on your guard.

Grian was quiet for a moment, catching his breath, sure, but the silence seemed deeper than that. Grian was always an intense thinker, the kind of intensity that weighed the air.

“You’ve been in the dungeon before? Tango is putting civilians in here?” He sounded angry. Not surprising, really, but..

“Yeah,” Jimmy shrugged, struggling not to feel defensive, “Not that many though. One guy just won’t leave. It’s kind of a volunteer program.”

“You’re not a volunteer.”

Technically, this was true. Jimmy was being paid; to run the dungeon as well as lure superheroes into it, though he hadn’t run it since a ravager broke a rib on Level 2.

For a moment Jimmy thought about telling Grian the truth, ditching the ‘helplessly kidnapped’ act and putting everything out on the table so Grian would stop trying to rescue him and leave well enough alone. That way at the very least he could call for Tango who might let him leave through a maintenance tunnel and not have to continue with whatever the hell was happening here. Jimmy didn’t even get the chance to register a deck before they started! However, the thought was dismissed immediately, partially because they only had one compass. In the case that Tango decided to be petty, Jimmy was not about to throw himself into the tusks of a ravager, and he could fantasize all he wanted about throwing Grian to the wolves and stealing the compass for himself, but it just made more sense that they stuck together.

But there was the fear, too, far more persuasive than any sense, the kind of deep seeded instinct that would have Jimmy sprinting in the opposite direction rather than be alone with his college tormentor, look him in the eyes, and tell him he’d been deceived.

Grian always thought Jimmy was hiding something from him. There had been multiple instances of Grian rummaging through his things, not taking, just looking, but not quite putting things back where they had been before. It really messed with Jimmy’s head- what he was even looking for? Grian didn’t have money to spend, but even when Jimmy had left his valuables and cash unguarded, Grian never stole. Jimmy never knew Grian to want anything either; weed, alcohol, the like, but for the most part Jimmy didn’t keep any of that in the dorm, and Grian never expressed interest. Grian didn’t even borrow pens or notebook paper; Jimmy was pretty sure he’d rather die than ask for help in any form, but regardless, it drove Jimmy crazy just to have Grian rummaging through his shit and having no idea what he wanted.

“Hey, if you need anything man, you just let me know, alright? I’ve got extra school supplies if you need to borrow anything for exams,” Jimmy had said one night, testing the waters in the rare occurrence when Grian’s headphones were off.

Jimmy would never forget the look of distaste Grian threw him, head cocked and eyes dark and narrowed; Grian didn’t even have to say anything to hurt him most days. “No.”

And that was that.

He never dreamed of confronting Grian, no, Jimmy would never bare his hand to a cornered animal. But one thing was for certain, he kept his phone and laptop passwords close, changing them regularly. Anything remotely private he locked up in his closet while he was out, Grian’s eyes burning into his back, suspicious and untrusting. He always made Jimmy feel so afraid. He wasn’t hiding anything or whatever it was Grian had convinced himself Jimmy was doing, he just wanted to keep his privacy private. Jimmy still had a habit of hiding his things, squirreling them away in odd places even when he was living alone. He didn’t realize he was doing it most of the time, but at some point it was pointed out to him (“This is why you can never find anything Jimmy, who keeps their receipts under the blooming mattress!”), and Jimmy had no doubt where the habit came from.

Apparently Jimmy’s lack of answer to Grian’s question was enough of an answer to him. “I’m going to get you out of here.” Intense. Always so intense.

Jimmy had no desire to fight him. “Okay.”

#hermitcraft #hermitfic #cw: past abuse #tw: past abuse #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #grian #tangotek #decked out #decked out 2 #hotguy #cuteguy

45 notes · View notes

blueishspace · 6 days

Text

Looped Sun 19

Loop #500

Tango: Oh, guessing we get a beach episode?

Grian: It is loop 500 now, I keep score.

Pearl: He does...for some reason. Why do you?

Grian: It just helps ok?

Scott: Pearl you can't just ask that.

Pearl: Oh I don't want to hear that from you mate.

Jimmy: Scott? Are you coming into the water?

Scott: Yeah! Putting on my sunscreen.

Jimmy: Oh...

Scott: Do you think I mantain my beauty without taking care of my skin?

Jimmy: You are always beautiful though.

Scott: I- uh ah? I mean, of course I am Jimmy.

Jimmy: ... Is Tango putting sunscreen on too?

Tango: I'm not coming.

Jimmy: What, why?

Tango: ... I need to take care of Anne. She can't swim.

Anne: ...

Scott: He's afraid of the ocean.

Tango: Am not!

Scott: Are too.

Anne: ... (he is)

Tango: I'm not scared! I just- water and fire don't mix, ok?

Scott: And I'm done, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Oh yeah... we'll see you guy later!

Pearl: You guys, I found a volley ball! Want to play some beach volley?

Mumbo: Uh... Sure.

Scar: I'm in!

Grian: I don't see why not.

Pearl: Great, Scar is with Mumbo and Grian is with me.

Scott: Oh this is much better.

Jimmy: Yeah. It's great!

Scott: We should probably see the others though.

Jimmy: Oh come on! A little bit longer! The water is so nice!

Scott: Eh. Sure, but we'll get to the others in a while.

Scott: Pearl, what's wrong.

Pearl: Grian is horrible at beach volley.

Scott: How? He's a literal god.

Pearl: Scar was shirtless. Apparently that's enough.

Scott: Oh, yeah, you should have expected that Pearl.

Pearl: I made an gigantic mistake.

Jimmy: Oh we should have a sand castle making competition!

Grian: Who would even be the judges?

Scott: I could.

Pearl: ... What, why?

Scott: I like judging people.

Pearl: Fair enough.

Mumbo: I could be a judge too?

Pearl: ... Alright.

Mumbo: Scar... Star Wars really?

Scar: How dare you!? The Millennium Sand-con is a masterpiece!

Scot: Huh uh. I give it a 8.

Mumbo: ... 9

Scar: I'll take it.

Scott: ... Tango, Jimmy?

Jimmy: I started making a sand castle but it fell apart!

Tango: So I told him to join up with me and Anne!

Jimmy: What do you think?

Scott: ... 9.

Mumbo: It looks good, I think It's a 7.

Mumbo: So, Pearl, how did you do this?

Pearl: I don't know what you mean?

Scott: This is... wow. Get it I guess.

Pearl: Oh thanks, mate.

Mumbo: But how???

Pearl: I don't know what to tell you, hard work.

Scott: You just contradicted-

Pearl: So, how much.

Scott: I'm going to say 9.

Mumbo: 10...definitely.

They ended up setting up a fireplace and roasting marshmallows on top as the sun set. All in all it was a pretty good loop.

Loop #508

Scar woke up... feeling really off. He couldn't understand why though, this looked like a pretty regular loop...maybe a bit basic but still pretty regular. He got up to get breakfast and the feeling refused to go. He tried watching tv but even then there was something...off.

Scar: Grian?

Grian: Scar, choose. Take the red pill or the blue pill.

Scar: Wait are we in the matrix!?!

Grian: It took you way too long to realize that.

Loop #511

Scott: A god loop? I guess that means all of us loopers are gods now. Well... Tango, you and Jimmy really. Didn't get Aeoulus again but getting to be Nyx is fun too.

Mumbo: I-it's weird... uh. I don't really know why I got Ares...?

Scott: You? Ares? That's hilarious- Wait... Grian!?

Grian: Hello...

Scott: Are you... the sky?

Grian: Looks like I got Uranus and Scar got Gaia.

Scar: Being a planet is fun! Did you know I can create mountains now?

Scott: ... That is overpowered.

Grian: You are night itself-

Scar: I made a continent with my face!

Scott: What did I just say?

Tango: Look people! I'm kidnapping the god of spring!

Jimmy: Oh nooo I'm being kidnapped! What will I do?

Tango: Nothing you are mine mow and will rulificate the dead together or something.

Jimmy: I'm so scared and or sad about this, I hope someone will tell Pearl!

Pearl: Nooo! Give me back my ...son I guess.

Tango: Nop.

Pearl: Fair enough mate, guess I got to bring eternal winter now.

Jimmy: I'm back but oh no! Tango made me eat pomegranate seeds. I'll have to switch between two places. Oh noooo.

Grian: Ok, what was that?

Scott: You didn't even try to look realistic.

Tango: Listen, I'm not an actor dude.

Pearl: And I don't really care about killing a lot of people with a famine.

Grian: ...

Scar: What was that about Jimmy eating Tango's seeds-

Scott: Don't phrase it that way.

Grian: SCAR NO!

Loop #514

Grian: Let's never talk of this loop again.

Scar: Please.

Scott: Agreed.

Prev Next First

#trafficblr #traffic smp #hermitblr #grian #mumbo jumbo #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #tangotek #scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #pearlescentmoon #Looped sun

31 notes · View notes

silverskye13 · 8 months

Note

just binged all of redstone and skulk in one go. HOLY SHIT!!! i left some comments on ao3 but that wasn't enough. i needed to come to your tumblr too bc this fic has Changed Me A Little. it makes sense- i've been subscribed to you on ao3 for a while (remember hound's tooth? i think that was when i started following your writing. and monsters splitting hairs, although i'm not quite caught up on that one), and that was for a good reason- but tanguish and helsknight are something else! part of why i like fanfiction is because i get to see more of characters i already like- it takes a special fic to get me so invested in characters i've basically just met! and you do it so well! like. the subtle character things! the way i can pick out the hermits' (and martyn's, but i'm calling him a hermit for the sake of convenience) traits in the helsmits, but warped and twisted around like a funhouse mirror? fantastic. i love it. im eating that shit up. the ilttle differences and similarities between tango and tanguish, helsknight and wels (bc he isn't acting very knightly right now), impulse and the demon- it's so cool to see! i also saw the other ask you got where you talked about your process, and how you give your characters a list of traits as a guide to writing them- i'm definitely going to have to borrow that trick. it works! so well! it shows in your writing in the consistency of how the characters behave!

some other thoughts i had while reading:

helsknight being religious probably has a lot more to do with him being a knight than wels being a lutheran irl (which is where his name comes from and i find that hilarious), but still. if it's unintentional it's hilarious and if it's on purpose then it's a fun easter egg!

i relate to and understand tanguish, because i too would want to befriend helsknight, and also because if a bunch of big scary people basically adopted me and tried to teach me how to use a knife i would be so pathetic about it.

i relate to and understand helsknight and tango, because tanguish is the weirdest little cat ever and i too am captivated by his pathetic little freak charms, and i want to be his friend.

i neither relate to nor understand wels, because 1) if i saw my friend's presumably-evil counterpart skulking around the shopping district i would likely call them first (just seems like the polite thing to do, and also bc if helsknight showed up and the ppl who found him didn't call wels about it i feel like he'd probably be more than a little pissed), and 2) look at tanguish. he's just a little guy. he's a little guy and it's his birthday. how could you be mean to him.

tl;dr: redstone and skulk has compelled me to the point that leaving comments on ao3 wasn't enough, i needed to ramble straight into your inbox because it's just so good.

Oh my gosh! Firstly: thank you for all the kind words! I'm glad you're liking my writing so far, and thank you both for the comments and the scurry into the inbox. I love hearing people's thoughts, even if I don't have the spoons to respond to everyone all the time :'D

For your bullet points:

-- I didn't know Wels was Lutheran! I knew he was ex-military, and at least in my family's trends, military and religiosity go hand in hand, so it makes sense. But still! Learning new fun facts! I know nothing about the Lutheran Church [I was raised Baptist.] Probably gonna do some reading later.

-- I feel like Tanguish is going through that phase of "all the biker/military uncles have decided I'm one of them for some reason" and as someone who has gone through that before, for the same baffling non-reasons [used power tools in their presence once, a la Tanguish barely participating in a fight once] I sympathize. Very interesting somewhat scary people. Why did you invite me to sit at your table. Why do you keep slipping me tequila and buying me knives like I'm in on the joke.

-- Tanguish is such a specimen we all just want to look at him under a microscope. He is so scared yet so brave. He thinks knives are scary but he leaps off buildings. He's scared of getting hurt and seeing blood but he has no regard for his personal safety. How do you fit so many oxymorons in such a tiny body---

-- Wels please, he's a little guy and it's his birthday! Stop bullying him!!

Addendum: I agree Jackrabbit is very Tanguish coded. It is now on the playlist.

Want to live like an animal?

By the skin of your teeth?

Put your good face on, you're foolin' no one

You're a jackrabbit underneath

One step forward, step right back

Run for the hills, honey, run for the hills, honey

Run for the hills, don't look back

#answering asks #gumy-shark #i lied i know why the biker/military uncles like me #they know i dress like a guy and help my mom do all the guy chores when my bro in law / step dad arent available #and they think i stepped up as the man-type figure around the house when my papa passed #they dont know im trans the poor things #rns asks

29 notes · View notes

aquaquadrant · 8 months

Note

You know it only hit me now that honestly, our dear cast of HTP could just grab any Joe Shmoe off the death-ridden street and use them as keys to their counterparts to get in and out of hels. It doesn't have to be a helsian in the overworld or an overworlder in hels.

Hels Tek could in theory just grab someone or use themselves (the idea of them shoving Clear Cut on the redstone ore and popping out to see fucking Mumbo Jumbo working on his latest giant-ass redstone idea in single player is hilarious), get to the overworld, then start the manhunt from there by portal hopping and grapevining. They don't NEED Bravo, but it's so much easier to find Tango that way. Though they did kinda need a base point at first to puzzle it out from Bravo's code, so they needed him at first. They needed to test, to figure it out. But now that they have it, they kinda don't need to have Bravo to get to the Overworld, but they need him for a fast route to Tango.

And also it shows that it's definitely not a matter of getting out of Hels, they just want Tango.

Now I'm thinking. My brain is turning. Way down the line, if these portals manage to be found out at all, people can get out of Hels by getting to their counterparts. And it would be Business. Like BIG BUSINESS. First they need the initial portal. A large and powerful enough group to gather the resources. A big company or a massive enough town. Once they get the first portal open to a server that is single player or is a weak server against them, they have overworld resources. And now they’re selling wood and mobs and everything that was once scarce, it's now bountiful. Flood the market or control the supply to increase demand. That's E-co-nom-ics baby. And they'll have plenty of resources to keep the portals open too.

And then we have the option of selling an escape from Hels. A privilege for the rich, something the lower people can only dream of. They scrape for even the tiniest bit of enough to buy the chance to escape. Prices only the richest can afford, but others fight and work and slave (good workers for our richest YesYes) for the chance. A one way ticket out.

They can't come back, you see. That would undercut the advantage of being able to sell Overworld resources after all. They'd bring back their own resources, and they would have seen the portal workings (though they prob would hide all they could of the redstone)

Espionage, spying, bribes, threats, all sorts of schemes to get their own portals.

Hels Tek could do this tbh. They have the starting advantage. Even if the portals don't make it out of Hels knowledge, if they only pivoted to portal travel, they'd be richer than any farm. But let's be real, Atlas will never see that venture, he's too obsessed with the one that got away. His white whale. His orange blaze.

Okay I should get back to writing my fics and not HTP headcanons, I'll use up my writing juice for the day!!

DAMN… under the right circumstances i could totally see that happening… very on-brand.

#hels to pay au #HTP ask #also HOLY SHIT u put a lot of thought into this…. major kudos

38 notes · View notes

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 months

Text

Is It Really That Bad?

Women leading superhero films has a long and troubled history even before losers online decided to make it their life’s mission to bully Academy Award-winning actress Brie Larson for the crime of being in a mediocre MCU movie. 2004’s Catwoman is the film that is usually pointed to as the movie that poisoned the well in regards to superheroine blockbusters, but it takes two to tango; the following year’s Elektra is just as much to blame for the negative perception of these sorts of films.

And how could it not be? It was rushed into production, Jennifer Garner really didn’t want to do it but was contractually obligated, it was supposed to be rated R until more contractual obligations nipped that idea in the bud, and on top of everything else it was a sequel/spin-off to a movie that was already extremely unpopular (Daredevil vindication was a long way’s off at that point). With all that in mind, is it any wonder that it’s one of the lowest grossing films to ever be based off of a Marvel comic? The only films that did worse were Punisher: War Zone, Man-Thing, and The New Mutants. Even the Howard the Duck movie did better than this shit!

The career of director Rob Bowman as tanked because of this film, with his credits being relegated to TV. Garner, meanwhile, fared just as poorly, with her career cooling off and leading roles not being a thing for her after that point. But worst of all is the career of the poor boat house in this movie, as it ended up appearing in Fifty Shades of Grey. And obviously this film dragged down the idea of a woman headlining a superhero flick for about a decade until Genocide Barbie Gal Gadot stepped into Wonder Woman’s boots. And while Catwoman would receive better adaptations on the big screen, Elektra would get no such chance…

...Until it was revealed that Garner was reprising her role in, of all things, Deadpool & Wolverine.

While the film isn’t out as of the time of this review, the announcement of her presence in it really got me intrigued about the last time she donned the red ninja outfit. I’m a huge apologist for early to mid-2000s superhero garbage, so it only made sense to check it out in preparation for the massive Marvel crossover Deadpool was about to deliver. And you know what question I always ask when going in to an infamous film like this: Is it really that bad?

THE GOOD

This film is just hilariously corny when it wants to be. I think when it does stupid stuff other superhero films of the time did, it tends to do them at least a little better. For instance, like Ghost Rider it has a quirky miniboss squad full of boring flat characters who exist for Elektra to kill. But while the ones in Ghost Rider are completely forgettable and bland, this film at least has some striking visuals with Tattoo and hot forceful lesbian murder smooching with Typhoid Mary, something I’m sure awoke things in the five people who watched this.

Garner herself is really, really trying, and to her credit most of the action scenes she’s in are pretty ok when they aren’t being edited to death. As I watched the unrated version, the brief glimpses of insight into her backstory are nice, and I do love that bright red costume on her. If nothing else, she does sell how cool Elektra is supposed to be with how she carries herself, even if the writing isn’t doing her many favors.

The final act is where things really get fun, because we have a big stupid battle against magical tattoos, teleporting ninjas, and genuinely the funniest possible way to kill a villain ever. I legitimately burst out laughing when I saw this:

youtube

THE BAD

Unfortunately, no matter how funny Typhoid Mary taking a knife to the forehead after saying her only two lines in the movie, two lines that actually give her more character than every other villain in the film, it can’t really completely save the film from its two massive, crippling issues.

Literally everyone in this movie is a fucking moron. The biggest moron is easily Elektra’s buddy, who sacrifices himself so Elektra can escape from the bad guys… but his sacrifice is pointless because they pull the info from his mind with psyhcic powers. He would’ve been better off running away with them! But it’s not like the villains are much smarter; one of them chops down a tree, and then almost immediately forgets this and walks into its path before getting crushed to death. It is genuinely absurd how dumb these characters manage to get. The dumbest of them all, however, has to be Stick. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck this man is trying to accomplish at any point, because he is recklessly gambling with people’s lives here.

But hey, dumb decisions are fine in a trashy 2000s superhero movie as long as they lead to some enjoyably dumb scenarios, right? Well, about that… Barring a couple of ridiculously goofy action scenes, this film is pretty bereft of memorable corniness. Remember how I said the minibosses in Ghost Rider were not as good as the ones here? Sure, maybe it’s true, but no amount of murderous lesbian smooching makes this movie more memorable than Ghost Rider, which features over a dozen insane Nicolas Cage moments. But maybe that’s cheating, it’s not fair to compare a Jennifer Garner vehicle to a Nicolas Cage one… so how about Catwoman? As absolutely shoddy as that movie is, there are a bunch of cringey, campy scenes that have helped earn the movie at least a handful of ironic fans. There’s just nothing like that in Elektra. It’s trashy and stupid in safe, unimpressive ways for the most part, and it doesn’t do anything at all to really stand out from the crowd.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Yeah, I guess it’s bad, but the level of bad that it is is greatly exaggerated.

The movie I’d most compare this to is, of all things, Morbius. I love Morbius more than most people, and even I’m willing to admit it’s multiple bright spots of trashy charm are interspersed with the dullest shit imaginable, and Elektra has a similar issue. It’s just so goddamn unmemorable and dull for the most part, with only the final act being packed full of silly nonsense to latch onto. But even that comparison isn’t great, because Milo was sprinkled throughout Morbius and was genuinely hilarious the whole way through, while Elektra just plods along until it remembers to actually be a little cool for the finale.

I guess really the film is less “bad” and more “not good.” Like if you throw this on in the background as noise while you do something else, it’s not the worst you could do, though even then something like Black Adam would probably be better. If you want to watch a trashy 2000s superhero film, I guess it’s not unwatachably unpleasant, but why wouldn’t you watch Catwoman or Ghost Rider instead? It just is in such an unenviable position where it’s the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, the least engaging super-schlock ever made, a movie not good enough to be vindicated but not bad enough to deserve the hate it gets. Elektra is just a film that exists. That’s all there is to it and aside from the single funny death, I have no strong feelings about this movie. I think a solid 4 is where this belongs. Not good enough to be average, not bad enough to be awful, it’s just there.

All this being said, I’m honestly very excited to see Garner become a teleporting ninja assassin again. Every comic character who was in a crappy adaptation deserves a second shot, be it as a new character (Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger) or as a reprisal that improves on the untapped potential that was there (Jamie Foxx’s Electro in No Way Home). I’m rooting for Garner to get her due, and for Electra to get the respect she truly deserves… But I just don’t really think this movie’s going to be getting a reappraisal no matter how good she ends up doing.

#is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Elektra #Marvel #Jennifer Garner #Daredevil #superhero movie #action movie #Youtube

10 notes · View notes

cielcreations · 2 years

Text

Rancher Duo DND AU [Revised]

First off, I want to credit @rainbowchaox and their "Roll Initiative" AU! It's also a DND AU and I just want to give them credit as their story is really nice so make sure to check them out! Added more detail and changed a lot of the OG prompt to hopefully better separate our AUs :)

Grian and Jimmy are brothers who go to the same college and share a dorm room. Grian is a DM for DND and Jimmy was never interested in it, so he would just stay in his room while Grian DMs. However, after a lot of begging persuading, Grian manages to convince Jimmy to join because they lost a player and really needed a new one.

The people at the table are as follows:

Grian: The DM who does have a DMPC, but they're more their to give quests/push the party in the right direction. His PC is the prince of the kingdom that is the party's hub. Again, he doesn't fight/play with the party, just their for NPC quest giving. Also, his character is engaged to the head of the Royal Knights, Scar.

Jimmy: A Human Rouge because he wanted to play as something easy for his first time. He always tries to talk with the enemy first before fighting, and so far it has only worked about 10 times out of the 30+ fights they have had. His character does have canary wings because Jimmy thought it'd be cool. Grian accepted, but under the condition he cannot fly and he rolls at disadvantage with stealth. Jimmy agrees. (little does he know, Grian gives him an advantage in acrobatics because he is a nice older brother)

Joel: A Half-Orc Warrior who has seduced and slept with three nymphs in game (Lizzie, Sausage, and Etho). He likes to "force" Grian to roleplay flirting because Grian doesn't like flirting and he likes to make the DM suffer (ongoing joke between them, Grian will and has let Joel know if he's truly uncomfortable and Joel'll stop).

Ren: A Changeling Druid, he mainly likes to change into a werewolf/wolf. Is actually the leader of an (in game) changeling tribe that were really affected by the evil BBEG. His character's story is he finds the party and joins them in hopes of saving the world. Also, he marries a fey in game (Bdubs).

Scott: An Elf Cleric who mainly plays support/backup for Jimmy. He does heal/help the others, but Jimmy rolls so low sometimes, it's hilarious. Also, his character has a crush on Owen (in game character), a normal human shopkeeper. Scott has tried several times to take Owen on a date but always ends up rolling 10s-15s, literally just out of reach from "success". Scott has joked multiple times that the game is homophobic. (Also, yes, Grian could give Scott the date, but he jokes that "if Joel can somehow roll a Nat20 not once, not twice, but three times to sleep with three different nymphs, you can roll higher for just a date.")

Anyways, as the new player, Jimmy is clearly not the best, but he's not terrible. He's just decent.

As the game and story progresses, Jimmy learns more about the BBEG. The BBEG is Tango, a demon king who has a base in a volcano and has opened up the world to release all the monsters/demons the party has to fight. However, Jimmy has seen the art Grian commissioned and Tango looks really hot. His hair is a bright blonde that will turn into actual flames when angry, he has blood red eyes, and he's super confident, sassy, snarky, and Jimmy is in love. Any time someone at the table points out, Jimmy argues "I-I'm playing my character as someone who tries to negotiate first, shut up!"

Anyways, the party gets to the point of confronting the BBEG and Jimmy rolls the highest in initiative.

"Okay, Jim, what do you do?" Grian asks.

Jimmy hesitates, "...Can I try to talk to him?"

"Do you want to talk or flirt?"

"...Flirt."

"JIMMY!"

"JOEL SLEPT WITH THREE NYMPHS, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO FLIRT WITH THE BBEG!"

"Joel is the reason we can't have nice things!" Scott yelled.

Grian hums before he shrugs, "Honestly, you've been rolling kinda low. I'll let you try. Roll for persuasion."

Jimmy does and screams, "NAT20!!!"

Everyone bursts out laughing and Grian screams in frustration because "HOW CAN YOU FLIRT WITH THE BBEG AND SCOTT CAN'T GET ONE DATE?!?!"

Grian sighs and goes, "Okay, Timmy, you managed to roll a Nat20, what do you say?"

"Okay, so I step forward and tell Tango that we're not here to fight and that I've read a lot about his history! I know about how lonely he was growing up, but that it's okay now! I'd like to be his friend-"

"Boyfriend!"

"Shut up Ren! B-But, yeah... U-Um, I also say that a cute demon shouldn't be alone and that I really want to help him!"

Grian rolls his eyes, "You are awful at flirting. Anyways, Tango blushes and looks away, embarrassed by your words. He says 'No one has ever spoken to me like that before. People usually just want to kill me. I'm just a disgusting demon.'"

"Noooo, he's not disgusting-"

"ROLEPLAY DUMMY!" Scott teased.

"O-Oh, right! Uh, I say 'No, you're not disgusting, just misunderstood! I can help show you how amazing you are!'"

"Tango blushes more and goes, 'You're quite... strange. But also really nice... and handsome. Um, what's your name?'"

"Solidarity!"

"'Solidarity... It's nice to meet you. You're... very bold, aren't you?'"

"Only when it comes to handsome demons!"

Grian gags playfully before he hummed, "Tango laughs shyly and faces Solidarity with a smile, 'You say you want to help me? You want to show me I'm amazing? Then... Solidarity, will you marry me?'"

Jimmy gasps, "WAIT REALLY?!"

Grian shrugs, "You rolled a Nat20 and, honestly, I think it's fitting that the campaign that is full of Joel sleeping with 3 nymphs, Ren marrying a fae, and Scott constantly trying to get one date with one guy, ends with the BBEG getting married to a party member. So, do you accept?"

"YES!" Jimmy nods, everyone else laughing.

Grian rolls his eyes playfully, "Okay, so Solidarity and Tango get engaged and Tango undoes everything, putting the world back in order. SmallishBeans goes back to the forest to live with Lizzie, Sausage, and Etho. No, I don't care what headcannon you make up, Joel, I'm not roleplaying another flirting session. Anyways, Rendog goes back to his tribe and, of course, his husband Bdubs comes with him and they live happily ever after. And finally, Smajor goes back to town to continue flirting with Owen and, this time, he actually does get a date because I am merciful, thank you very much."

Everyone laughs and packs everything up. It's pretty late, so the rest of the night is spent in the living room and Grian orders pizza. It turns into a sleepover, with Scott on one couch, Joel and Grian on another (opposite sides), and Ren and Jimmy fall asleep on the floor on a pile of blankets and pillows.

In the middle of the night, Jimmy wakes up to a weird noise. He groans and sits up, looking around. He sees a weird light coming from the dining room table, where they played DND. He walks over and sees the light is just the table glowing. He touches the table, confused. As he does so, a hand seems to grab him and he screams before he is pulled into the table.

When Jimmy wakes up, he is in a weird mansion. He looks around and gasps, confused.

"Are you okay?"

Jimmy turns and is face to face with... Tango.

The demon smiled, "Oh, good, you're okay!" He gently cupped the other's cheek, "The gods weren't lying, you are way more attractive in person. Welcome home, Solidarity."

Jimmy just stares and blushes because Tango is so much hotter in person than the art Grian commissioned.

"...Are you okay? You didn't hit your head too hard, right?"

"You're pretty." Jimmy blurts out.

Tango blushes and laughs, "Charmer, aren't you? Come on, let's get off the floor, we have a wedding to plan."

Ji- Solidarity nods. He can question this weirdness later, preferably after the wedding.

136 notes · View notes

wavesoutbeingtossed · 8 months

Text

When you take into account the conceit of Midnights being things that have kept her up at night, Vigilante Shitis so fucking funny, because who among us has not seethed and festered over someone who’s done us wrong and concocted elaborate revenge scenarios in our minds to vent our anger??

It’s such a hilarious and ingenious way of illustrating the anger she felt towards 🛴 by crafting it as this Cell Block Tango-esque takedown full of espionage, spilled secrets and comeuppance. Do I think Taylor actually dreamed up a scenario in which she had him tailed and submitted proof of his cheating to his wife and spilled his secrets to the FBI? Probably not although you never know with her lol. But the story is SO rich when you think about it, and all the scenarios she sings about detail different parts of her anger and the things she wish she could have done in the real world.

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie They say looks can kill and I might try -> Telling on him for the lies he spread about her (not just about the masters, but his likely involvement in the kimye shit)

I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends Don't get sad, get even So on the weekends I don't dress for friends Lately I've been dressing for revenge -> she didn’t start this war (eg snakegate, the fight over the masters) but she’s got the last word with her “name” being cleared years later and her rerecordings’ unprecedented success. Instead of wallowing in her grief over losing her work and her name at one point, she recalibrated and forged a path through the pain and worked night and day to reclaim her life.

Ladies always rise above Ladies know what people want Someone sweet and kind and fun The lady simply had enough -> she was sick of living up to everyone else’s standards for her and she upended her entire world to survive this mess. She was mad as hell and she wasn’t going to take it anymore.

It’s contrasted so chillingly with the imaginary (?) revenge fantasy, about selling him out to his ex wife and the FBI and the world for his white collar crimes (and drug use lol). Unfortunately it seems like that part didn’t come to pass irl lol, but the imagery of her telling on him to his wife and the cops and the world as payback for what he did to her is a stand-in for what really happened: his deceit was exposed, she was proven right re: the phone call and vindicated for her claims years before, he lost part of his power and status and reputation (and money with the resale of the masters), which probably cost him his marriage, while her career skyrocketed into the stratosphere even more furiously than had she not lost her masters he bought from right under her.

The song is saucy and campy and fun, but it does a really good job of crafting an allegory for the rage she felt about the situation and the payback she so desperately yearned for in the aftermath. And that is definitely something that would cause many a sleepless night indeed.

#vigilante shit #midnights #taylors swift #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #Writing letters addressed to the fire

8 notes · View notes

ashplayz · 1 year

Text

Agent One and Two (from helluva boss) x reader (my au) angsty!

Warnings:

Cussing, mentions of murder. (obviously I mean it's helluva boss) kinda spoilers. abuse

Agent One and Agent Two, operatives from the human realm, the face's of the lesser known demon hunting agency; D.H.O.R.K.S. had incredible dumb luck when they had captured Blitz and Moxxie and that ended in fucking disaster. And while most of I. M. P Believed that that their business dealing with the agents was done there was someone else that wasn't so sure. Y/n a worker at I. M. P had heard about what happened and found the fact that the human government was after them somewhat troubling. She hadn't been there when Loona and Millie went to save Blitz and Moxxie but she had heard that quite a lot of bat-shitery went down and she had a bunch that that meant they had something on them that they could use against them in the future and while nobody else in I. M. P seemed at all worried about that. Y/n decided to pay a visit to D.H.O.R.K.S. to tie up any loose ends.

Upon sneaking into the agency Y/n found herself receiving a nasty shock from behind and waking up tied to a chair she figured this is exactly the kind of thing Blitz and Moxxie had to deal with when they were captured. Y/n wasn't worried however she had told I. M. P where she was going and they'd come in guns blazing at the first sign of trouble. She had to admit that while there were certain instances where she had very little respect for anyone in I. M. P she thought it was pretty cool how much each of them care for each other heck they even care for her when she's in shit.

Eventually the agents came in, normally people in hell would find humans to be lowsome and gross in most instances Y/n couldn't help but smirk due to how attractive they both were compared to most humans. "Ah so you're finally awake" the blonde agent said, approaching her. "We're going to get some answers from you hell spawns one way or another" the male agent said, shining the interrogation light directly in her eyes to which she groaned, shutting her eyes "Jesus! It's kinda hard to tell you shit when I'm disoriented from having that shit directly in my eyes!" She snapped. The agents looked at each other then turned off the light. "You know you really didn't have to go this far to get answers you could have just asked." Y/n said, still smirking. Again the agents exchanged looks. "Who do you work for?" The male agent asked. "Think you already met him. He's the dick head in the tacky suit. He's a total jackass. Ring any bells?" She asked. "So he's the one in charge?" Male agent asked. "I mean. I guess he started our company and he's our boss but I wouldn't really say he's in charge of anything in his life he's a fucking mess." Y/n said with a chuckle.

"What exactly is your 'business'? Why are you demon scum killing humans all over?" The male agent asked. "Isn't it obvious? We're hit men. We get hired by rando dick heads that die and end up in hell, to take care of their unfinished business by killing anyone who screwed them over while they were alive." Y/n said. "How did you get from our world from the afterlife?" The blonde agent asked. Y/n rolled her eyes. "Because our boss is screwing some shity demon prince that has the task of basically being in charge of the stars, he has access to the human world in order to fulfill his duties via a book. And our boss fuckes him in order to be able to use his book so we can do our job." Y/n said. The agents looked grossed out and y/n found that hilarious. "Is this him?" The blonde agent said, showing her a picture of stolas. "Yep, but I wouldn't fuck around and find out if I were you two. It's one thing to mess with imps and sinners its another thing to fuck with demon royalty. I'm sure you remember what happened last time you tangoed with that horny bird fuck" Y/n said. The agents exchanged grim looks. They certainly did and they were both plagued by nightmares by the events of what happened on a nightly basis.

"What exactly are you?" The male agent asked. "I'm a sinner. Those two you captured earlier are known as imps. They were born in hell, I on the other hand died and ended up in that shit hole." Y/n said praying they wouldn't ask about her death because they did not need to know that she killed herself. Even the others at I. M. P don't know that. "Why do you have ears and a tail like that wolf girl?" The blonde agent asked. "Because some sinners get a corresponding animal based on how they died. (This next part is just because it's convenient to the plot. I know it's bullshit but she's the same animal of a type of red wolf that can kill itself. I know that's not a thing but it's helluva boss do you really expect it to be logical.) Just then the blonde agent touched her tail. "Hey! As attractive as you two may be for humans. I wouldn't go around touching you two without your permission. So hands to yourself" y/n said pulling her tail away. "Attractive?" The blonde agent asked. Don't pay any attention to that, she's probably just trying to mess with us like their boss." The male agent said.

"Oh trust me. I'm nothing like that red jackass. And I certainly wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. Now look, I told you two what you wanted to know. The others know I'm here and they'll no doubt be here soon and I'm sure you remember what happened last time you messed with I. M. P so I'd suggest you two suits let me go before those pretty faces of yours get ruined." Y/n said with a flirtatious yet sincere tone. Leaving the agents slightly agitated yet flustered as hell. They begrudgingly untied her, her smirk returning. "Thank you. You know I'm always down to tell you what you need to know if we meet again, there's no need to tie me up in the future I wouldn't run from such pretty little things anyways" y/n said flirtatiously brushing her tail against them both. When I tell you that these two were beet red. 🤭 She was quite amused by how easily flustered the two were she could have continued to flirt with them all day just to see the expressions on their face's.

The male agent attempted to remain stoic, however he could tell how amused she was by his failure to do so. The blonde agent however, found it hard to resist her charm, her face going red whenever her soft tail brushed against her. She was captivated by her sharp e/c eyes and the way she effortlessly twirled a lock of her h/c hair around her finger. She hated herself for her lapse in judgment; she knew they were just filthy demons after all..

Just then a portal opened up and revealed that same wolf girl they had seen earlier. "Y/n did those shit head agents kidnap you too?" Loona asked, not bothering to look up from her phone as she stepped through the portal. Y/n and Loona had an interesting relationship. They had mutual respect for one another at least pretty sure the only reason Loona tolerated her is because she was also a wolf. "Eh no big deal happens all the time" y/n said half speaking the truth it wasn't the first time she was tied up like that but it was under very different and dark circumstances. Loona looked up at her. "Thought you said you were coming here to 'tie up loose ends' from when the dumbasses got themselves captured by those tuxedo wearing fucks. Wouldn't that mean you know killing them?" Loona asked. In turn Y/n let out a low warning growl that definitely confused loona. "Y/n cleared her throat "Change of plans." Y/n said standing between the agents and Loona. "Why the fuck are you protecting those two?" Loona asked. Y/n looked back at the agents who were just as surprised at the fact that she was defending them as Loona was. "Guess you could say they grew on me" y/n said looking back at Loona who was still confused but gave a shrug. The two of them made their way back through the portal. Before one of the agents called out "Your name's Y/n?" The blonde agent asked. Y/n smiled. " Yeah. I'll see you around agent one and two" she said before the portal closed.

(Time skip)

As fate would have it they did in fact run into her again they had been trying to capture a succubus that had been seen on the surface when she showed up. "You two really don't wanna get involved with a succubus. Trust me you'll wake up naked with your self esteem missing." Y/n said. Both agents were shocked to see her again. Truth be told neither of them had been able to get her out of their heads since the last time they met even dispie the animosity towards all things demonic that they claimed to have. but this time, she was hurt. As try as they may they couldn't bring themselves to ignore her pain even when she seemed to think it wasn't a big deal. They snuck her into the agency so no other agents saw her and they tended to her wounds and sheltered her from whatever had caused her harm. They asked what had caused it but she refused to say anything. They couldn't help but notice that she was.. Scared.. After a while she called someone from I. M. P to come take her back and bid the agents fair well. Without flirting with them in the slightest. It was then that the agents realized that they might have accidentally fallen for a demon. But fate has a cruel sense of humor..

Because weeks had gone by. Agent one and two had already had a talk about how they both fell for her and how they already had a lot of care for each other that could be romantic after all. They didn't know when they would see her again but they never imagined it would have happened the way it did. It was a quiet night with no notable activity.. That is until a portal opened up right in their office and who other to fall out of that portal than Y/n.. but she was hurt extremely so.. Worse than the last time. It looked like someone just beat her to death.. She fell to the ground coughing up blood. Someone could be heard yelling as the portal closed. The agents who had been drinking coffee both dropped their mugs and they shattered on the floor. They were both horrified. They both rushed over to her she was too disoriented and in too much pain to hear anything they were saying or to know what they were doing. She passed out a bloody mess on the floor. When she did finally wake up she was clean and bandaged up she heard talking outside the room she was in. She got up and made her way out of the room despite the pain. Only to see the agents sitting on a couch with grim expressions and looked like they were fighting back tears.. "What do you think happened to her..?" The blonde agent asked.. The male agent grimaced.. "I don't know.." He said.. "Do you think she's gonna be okay?" The blonde agent asked..

"It's not like I can die twice," y/n said gently, leaning against the door. They both stood up quickly relieved that she was okay. "I don't see why you two care so much" y/n said. The agents exchanged looks they couldn't bring themselves to tell her how they really felt.. As much as they asked what happened to her she still refused to say anything. Insisting that it wasn't something they needed to worry about. Y/n asked to borrow one of their phones so she could call someone to come get her. She called blitz but he said he was busy spying on Millie and Moxxie and that stolas had the book anyways and since he needed a date to get into Ozzies he asked stolas. He said he'd send stolas to get you first and made an off hand suggestion that maybe she could bring the agents to Ozzies. Considering they're obsessed with demons and the fact that everyone in I. M. P thought y/n and the agents were dating. Y/n begrudgingly said she'd ask them before hanging up. "Heyy how would you two like to see what hells like for a night? My boss is headed to a demon club and wants me to take you two. I mean you like demons right?" Agent two looked at agent one excitedly. They both agreed and Stolas soon showed up to pick up Y/n. Stolas was able to give them demon disguises and agent two was super excited. Y/n changed into something more appropriate for Ozzies and the agents were a blushing mess.

Once they all showed up at Ozzies Stolas and blitz went in together and y/n walked with an agent at both sides. Before they could go in one of the bouncers started hitting on Y/n. So agent one put his hand on her shoulder. They then went in and sat down and the agents were both so in awe about everything, Y/n however was noticeably on edge. It was understandable given what she had just gone through. Her uneasiness made the agents worried. Agent two tried to ease the tension "so is this like a date?" Agent two asked. "I thought you two hated demons." Y/n said with a slight teasing tone. "Are you two even in a relationship?" Y/n asked. "Well… we could-" agent one started saying before he was cut off by Moxxie performing his song for Millie and everything that happens after that. Btw they both thought Moxie's song was adorable.

(Time skip to after all the bull shit that went down with blitz and Stolas at Ozzies.)

Moxxie and Millie had seen that y/n was badly hurt and the agents learned that this happened a lot at first again y/n refused to say anything. But with even blitz coming at her on it she finally broke down and the agents and the others learned the painful truth. That she had killed herself to escape her abuser but that same man wound up in hell and made it his mission to torment her for all eternity. He was literally torturing her.. All of I. M. P got involved and went to go show him what it was like to be tortured. Leaving Y/n alone with the agents they stood by her side providing moral and physical support. It wasn't long until the agents spilled their guts about how they really feel about her and why she said she reciprocated their feelings. It was gonna take a bit for her to be comfortable in the relationship after everything she went through. It was ironic because the agent had sworn to hate all demons, and yet, they couldn't deny the affection they had grown for Y/n. They had seen her at her most vulnerable, and it had made them see her not as a demon, but as someone who had a heart that beat much like their own.

Their relationship was complicated and filled with danger from both sides as they still hunted other demons and well she worked for I. M. P so it wasn't a surprise that it was something that could get messy. And there was the whole she lives in hell and they were on the surface factor too. But despite everything both the agents had enough love in their hearts for her to always make it work and she had enough love for the both of them. In the heart of Hell's underworld, amidst the chaos and the strife, they had found something unique, something precious. They had found love. They had all found each other. And in the end, that was all that mattered. <3

#agent one #agent two #helluva boss #x reader #angst

24 notes · View notes

red-sand-beach · 11 months

Text

light-hearted ranting about the secret life tasks below the cut. just needed to write it all out on digital paper

i feel like some of this session's secrets were a bit lacking :-( especially the deja vu task. it had all of the beginnings of a fun secret, but i don't think its practicality was thought through. it's just not that fun to watch the guys try to get the other player to say "deja vu" specifically. maybe it's just the way bigb and joel approached this task, but i was more interested in whatever else they were doing in their episodes. and while the secret repetition is funny in theory, it just became annoying to watch it twice

then mumbo's "keeping scar safe" task was hilarious to watch, but very much unfair, i feel like it should've been more hearts. scar did very well too, losing only 3.5 (! just .5 over the threshold!) hearts, less than almost anyone else this session. side note, it's really funny how there were both a "get scar to talk star wars" and a "save scar from damage" tasks. really drives it home that it was probably grian himself who wrote most or all of them. i also think that these might have been the only two tasks written with a specific target player in mind

another one was tango's task, mostly because of the "yellow detective" introduction this very session. he had a task that made him act a very strange and specific way in front of other players the very same episode a bunch of guys were suddenly supposed to guess other people's tasks. he could've made it look like something else, of course, but i honestly can't think of anything plausible he could've passed it off as

some other minor gripes of mine are bdubs' task, specifically the way he didn't complete all of the words, but it's mostly on him & he should've written them down or something; then i think etho's secret should've been introduced the next session, after the other players and etho himself became aware of the fact that tasks could be repeated, or given to a different person (someone more conniving, scar, maybe?); gem's could've been potentially bad for another player, but i really liked it in her episode and am really glad she was the one to receive it

on a positive note, i really liked cleo's secret and what we got from it, lizzie's was nice and simple, joel had a fun & appropriate for him hard task, scar's execution of his de-lightment was perfect, scott's secret was given to the right person and became really funny/wholesome after we saw who did and didn't say "love you" back to him; and i really liked gem's and bdubs' executions of their secrets despite the minor problems i have with them

#secret life spoilers

7 notes · View notes

cloudninetonine · 2 years

Note

*walks on in, faceplants tiredly, leaves after awkwardly getting up and waving, leaving a note behind* Hi, a simple very awkward anon here, how ya doing? Hopefully you're having a nice day!

Pretty sure Cadence of Hyrule Link (or as I call him in my mind Lora, after Coloratura, like the Opera term?) is his own thing, much like how Warriors is, he didn't get melded in with any of the Link's from what I can see in Jojo's lore and much like Warriors he's not in the timeline (and I've got the books with me to double check), so I'm pretty sure his adventure is his own thing, another thing I use a lot to see if there Hyrule's are in the same branch of the timeline is lay out, like is Castle Town named Castle Town or Hyrule Town, how big is Hyrule Field, where is Link's House and where is it relative to another games, does this Hyrule have things that another game has like certain songs and items etc, it helps though that's a me thing for the most part cause I'm an overthinker, Cadence of Hyrule's Link layout doesn't match Legend's or Rulie's from what I remember of his game, besides I think Legend would probably remember the time a stranger from another world wielding a shovel that's actually a bit of a grave robber and literally missing a heart broke into his place through a magic portal to wake him up for music shenanigans with a fairy called Trill, which is Cadence of Hyrule's main fairy like Proxy, Tatl and Navi because she's trying to get back to her own place and drag even more Theater Kid Vaati with her back in one go. I personally headcanon that if he's anywhere in the timeline, he's probably the inflection point between Legend and Hyrule, after Legend's time, but most likely a few hundred years before Rulie give or take, making him one of Legend's descendants but Rulie's grandfather in spirit, or he and Warriors share an era or he's on that gray area with Warriors, Calamity and Wild, though I could be wrong. It would make sense though since I headcanon he gets the Triforce of Power back from Cadence after she leaves, so that would be almost a full Triforce which could lead to the events in Rulie's era.

All I can think now is that Cadence of Hyrule Link would definitely be a theater kid with Player, like he just gets introduces them to musicals from their world and they go absolutely nuts reenacting them when they can, I can definitely see him reenacting something like Helpless from Hamilton with Player just to mess with the Chain members who outwardly simp (because, not only is he more well prepared to deal with Player's unhinged vibes because of Cadence, whom I'm pretty sure has no chill given her main weapon is a shovel, but he also probably gets not so hidden gremlin vibes from her before she's gone), or any song with those romantic and yearning vibes, and I feel like he would really love the game Bad End Theater too, it's a great game if you ask me and shockingly cheap to get.

(...Now this makes me want to have the Chain react to it, maybe I'll write that one day... Maybe)

Basically shy at the start but very determined and with the classic Link will to help people, but an absolute band or theather kid once someone pulls out an instrument or mentions music, you wouldn't get him to sing normally but once he gets going he goes full on Disney Prince, probably a great dancer too and incorporates it into his fighting style, just, draws Player into an impromptu tango dance mid battle, spins and dips them to simultaneously get them away from a stray Bokoblin and deal with it in one go (Wild and Hyrule are chugging vinegar, Warriors could never- boy is unintentionally smooth and everyone is punching the air). His Zelda is also likely very spunky, like Artemis or Flora (she literally gets on his case for breaking pots and it's hilarious, can fight like Artemis which is very rare and I bet Cadence influenced her too) and she'd probably delight in knowing Player, her, Cadence and Player would be besties through energy alone, and Cadence for having another person that knows what it's like to be impromptu isekaied and she would absolutely hit Legend with a shovel if he started anything. She's out of chills to give after Octavo's shenanigans, probably teaches Player how to effectively make a shovel a weapon too.

All I'm saying is that if Nintendo won't give Warriors, First, the Link before Wild (whom I personally call Fia, after the Celtic word for hunter, though hero of seraph sounds so metal and I just- have Many Thoughts but I wouldn't wish to bother ya with my crazy theorizing and rambling even more than I likely do XD) and him some respect and content, but they'll make the Four Swords dress up spin off apparently canon, then I guess I'll just have to do it myself even while sleep deprived.

Speaking of musicals, any favorites you have or think the Chain would have?

Also, Songstress Reader, again maybe they have an Azura from Fire Emblem deal? They can use any of the vocalized songs from the boys era and their various effects, but the more they sing the more it harms their body or it could be specific songs that harm it (Like how Azura gets harmed by Lost in Thoughts All Alone because of the curse placed on the song and on the people whose kingdom they come from), like say the Song of Time, Song of Healing, maybe their own spin on Lost in Thoughts All Alone which can purify Malice like energy and even calm down dragons out of rages, The Ballad of the Wind Fish etc, the problem is when the Chain sees the side effects (I can imagine Wild paling and outright panicking if we're going the Azura route, like, Malice like energy crawling up their body, attacking it for daring to drive it away, Player trying to muffle their pain but inevitably screaming like a Redead under the sun, it crawling up Player's body until they fade into water or wind if they over do it), though it could also be that they spit blood if they over do it, I don't know, just a thought and an excuse for the Chain to watch Player be a good singer and dance, completely at ease as the fairies relax while listening to them, or the Loftwings trying to accompany Player by chirping along or Wolfie joining in, or maybe a full blow songstress au which is niggling at the back of my head (basically it boils down to Songstress knowing Fierce Deity from way back when, and it has quite a few bad endings for each of the Songstress' till we reach LU Modern Player Songstress). Maybe I'll go more in depth into it one day when I have more energy and time.

Anyway, hope you're having a nice day today, maybe I'll come back, maybe I'll ramble about theories about the hero before Wild, who knows, certainly not me.

-A Very Awkward and Sleep Deprived Anon

Thank you for specifying! And honestly the dynamic between him and Player would sound amazing, musical shenanigans all the way!

ALSO MUSICAL FIGHT SCENE I FUCKING LOVE IT- Player's definitely enjoying it too I mean this is really main character behaviour and they love it. (The boys are salty on the sidelines as he dips Player and somehow ends up with a rose in his mouth)

Listen, idk much about Cadence but if she's truly a gremlin she's gonna do just fine with Player, besties one might say and chaos will cover the land of Hyrule within seconds.

I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to Fire Emblem so forgive me but this sounds cool! Honestly Player with musical magic just makes me really happy it's my favourite genre of magic.

(Also I would love to hear your thoughts on Seraph! Love the name Fia though ngl)

#cloud answers #Anon asks

25 notes · View notes