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deadhands69 · 2 months ago

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Something More [than burns]

Katsuki Bakugo x gn reader

MDNI + eventual smut/afab

Setting: fuckboy!Bakugo, mid-time skip, Senior Year of College. Reader did not attend UA high, just joined for university. Enemies to lovers.

Warnings, etc: series contains eventual smut, slight angst, light violence/injuries but it's bnha soooo, drinking/intoxication, swearing.

This is part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

Earlier today, you would never have dreamed you’d be stuffed in a closet with your rival, Katsuki Bakugo. Nor would you ever have imagined you’d enjoy that. But being here, pressed against his chest with his arm wrapped around you - it could be a lot worse.

Yesterday Morning

It felt like nothing could go right. You overslept, waking up groggy and angry at the world. Your shoelace broke, you dripped toothpaste down your shirt, your phone died on the charger (hence the lack of alarm to wake you), and the weak coffee you chugged on the way out of the dorms did absolutely nothing to improve your mood.

That’s all before walking into the classroom.

Earlier in the week, you were assigned a term-long project detailing your partner’s quirk. Pros, cons, good/bad match-ups, how your quirks work together, what you could learn from them to improve your own progress. You hoped for Izuku Midoriya, with his notebook full of information already, but you were paired with Katsuki Bakugo.

Aizawa must hate you.

The two of you had never gotten along. Sure, he was warmer towards his friends, who he'd known for years, but never with you. That’s fair though, you also hated everything about him. You hated how cocky he would act. His stupid face when he thinks he’s right. How he always got away with his bullshit. You hated the way he treated the girls who swooned over him (all because he defeated some nerfed villain a while ago.) Then, you hated him even more when you saw the constant stream of faceless fangirls being shuttled in and out of his room in the middle of the night like no one noticed. Most of all, you hated the lack of respect he always had for you.

Unfortunately for you both, the assignment would involve a lot of back and forth, questions, explanations, etc. Considering the relationship you had with your partner, the two of you opted to work on your pieces alone, exchanging in the mornings. And, well, it’s the morning. Time to interact.

“Hey, Backfire. Ya get that work done?” (he’d always chosen to call you this, over your hero name “Echo.”)

“Yeah,” you handed him the paper detailing what you’ve observed about his quirk in practice.

He barely looks over it before adding his critique, “this is garbage. That part’s bad too. Are you trying to make me sound weak? Not like your shitty quirk is that great. Redo it.”

Not happening.

“If you have a problem, why don’t you do it then? Here’s a pen, there’s the paper. Be my fucking guest. Tell me alllll about how amazing the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite is,” your biting words saccharine sweet as you pretended to fawn over him, “or should I just ask the girls lining up to crawl into your bed every night to write it?”

“What, jealous? God, you need to get laid. It’s a shame no one pities you enough to help out with that,” he responded with fake sympathy.

This wasn’t too far from a normal conversation between the two of you. Any other day, you thought. Any other time and maybe you could put up with his shit.

But absolutely not today.

Before you could think, you smacked him. Hard.

A hush fell over the class as everyone watched for his reaction. Your next move.

To be honest, you surprised yourself with that one too.

You were always the “good kid.” Maybe standoffish and mouthy but you got good grades, always turned your homework in on time, and, mostly, tended to follow rules when it mattered.

But the bigger elephant in the room: no one actually fucks with Bakugo. Sure you’d all throw his words back at him and argue but physically? Between his strength, personality, and explosive quirk, no one touches him.

His face reddened in anger, hiding the puffy pink outline your hand left. “Do you wanna die??” he yelled before Aizawa shuffled to his desk in his yellow sleeping bag to start class.

Class went by as usual, despite the lingering tension in the air. Before you knew it, it was over. The teacher said something about randomly assigned partners for sparing in the morning then set you free.

“Do it better,” Bakugo asserted, shoving the paper back at you. The imprint of your fingertips still dotted his face.

“Fine, as long as you fix your half too. I am not getting a bad grade because of you,” you spit the words out like they would burn your tongue if you held in thoughts of him any longer.

The rest of the afternoon, you stared at a blank sheet of paper. No matter how hard you tried, the words just wouldn’t show up. At seven, you gave up and went to Jiro’s room to hang out and watch music videos while discussing what you’d wear to Mina’s friend’s party the next day.

This Morning

Aizawa’s monotone voice carried through the training area. “We’ll be sparing today, as mentioned yesterday the matches are already set - the list is posted on the door. If you have an issue with it, don’t bother me. Otherwise, find your partner and make a plan.”

“The fuck,” you exclaim upon seeing your name next to Minoru Mineta’s with a match against Katsuki Bakugo and Shoto Todoroki.

The team pairings were randomly drawn from a hat but the matches were chosen. Aizawa must still be set on making your life hard when he made the list.

It would have been hard anyways, it’s not a fair fight. They’re the two strongest in the class and you were paired up with the weakest. They’re also both assholes when it comes to things like this so you know they won’t go easy on you. Not that they should. Your rebound quirk sends their attacks back at them, making you a difficult match for anyone who relies on their quirk. Generally, most of the class you are sparring against are resilient to their own powers to an extent so they aren’t at risk of being massively injured but that doesn’t make it any easier for them to take you down to win. You typically just have to stay out of the way. However, using your ability takes focus. With years of practice, you still weren’t sure if you’ll be able to go up against them both at once. And Mineta wouldn't be much help.

In spite of the difficulty, you’d still have to give it your all. You’re lucky you even got into the hero course, honestly. Getting the points in the UA University entry exam wasn’t easy. Interfering with other potential students to bounce their quirks at the fake villains allowed you to scrape by.

“Match one, get in place,” Present Mic’s voice rings through the building.

Preparing on the other side of the room, your rivals didn’t look happy being paired with each other either.

“We just have to get the flags off their belts,” you mumble down to Mineta, “throw your balls to trap them and I’ll walk up and take them. Oh, and don’t-” you pause, thinking of the last time you worked with Mineta on anything, “don’t do anything weird.”

“And go!”

Immediately, Minetta covers the hall behind you in sticky purple balls. You rush to the other side, taunting them to chase you.

“Hey, Todoroki, what’s this I hear about Endeavor in the news? You must be so proud, right? Come over so I can congratulate you!”

The air cools around you, got him. Gliding with his ice, he rushes towards you before getting stuck on the trap you’d set. He immediately shoots a stream of ice, pinning your sparring partner to the wall.

You’re on your own now. That’s fine. It’ll be 1v1.

You turn to take Todoroki’s flag but only find his shoes. He’s in his socks, taking Mineta’s instead. You can still win this, you think. You’ll just have to be smart.

Seeing a corner, you decide to duck into it. This will allow you to bounce back any attacks head on until they tire out.

Red and white hair blurred towards you before the room froze. By focusing your quirk, you were able to shove his ice back ten while he attacked. You noticed his feet slide slightly back as well from the recoil. What you didn’t notice was Bakugo dropping behind your back and blasting you point blank into a wall of ice.

This Afternoon

“It’s because he hates me,” you groan.

Recovery Girl had revived you, after mending quite a few broken bones and burns. She was still baffled by how beat up you came in from a “friendly” class match. A broken arm, two fractured ribs, burns on both wrists, and the entire back of your hero outfit had been blasted off, leading to even more burns.

“Hate is a strong word, he’s your classmate. I don’t think he hates you,” she continued while bandaging your arms.

“Definitely feels like it,” you mumbled looking down at your wrapped up limbs.

Once she finished patching you up, she told you to stay here for the day to rest then take it easy the next few days. She was leaving to visit family over the weekend but your condition is stable enough. You slept through the rest of the afternoon.

Earlier Tonight

9:05pm, the numbers on your phone illuminate the dark room.

Your hero costume had been sent in for repairs. Fortunately, your best friend has an extra key to your room. Jiro dropped off one of your hoodies and a pair of pants while you slept. She texted that she didn’t want to wake you but she’d see you at the party later tonight if you’re up for it. You pull the clothes out of the bag and get dressed, carefully avoiding your sore arms.

Feeling rested enough, you texted her back that you’d be there before throwing your boots on and heading out.

In the dim waiting area, a black clothed figure was slumped over the chair. He begins to stir and rubs his blonde hair out of his eyes as you pass before he jumps up to follow you.

“Let me guess, is apologizing and walking me home your punishment?” you ask.

“Yep,” Bakugo responds.

“Got it,” you say walking out the door. The cold winter air burns your face.

After a long pause, he began to apologize. “I really am sorry though, I didn’t mean to actually hurt you. I should have known better and that’s on me,” his words puff out in clouds.

“I just figured it was because I slapped you yesterday.”

“It wasn’t out of retaliation,” he pauses before continuing, “I’m really not that mad about you hitting me. I mean, I was mad, but more shocked than anything. No one in our class ever treats me like that.”

“Well, someone has to. It’s one of the things I hate the most about you - people just let you get away with anything. It’s infuriating.”

“Hey, that is not true.” he side eyes you, “also, the thing you hate the most about me is how other people treat me? Really? That’s not even about me.”

“No, the thing I hate the most about you is how you treat me.”

“Well, someone has to,” your words felt icier thrown back at you.

As the conversation slipped to silence, you realized this was the first time you’d ever spoken to him alone. He almost seemed sincere, but you still weren't friendly. The rest of the walk continued like this. The dead air between you grew in tension until you reached the building.

“Hey, you’re friends with Raccoon Eyes too. So you’re heading to that party off campus, right?” he asks, while you walk to the stairs.

“Mina’s friend’s party? Yeah I’m going.”

“I’ll walk you there. We can talk about our project on the way. Besides, everyone else has already left.”

You nodded, not having any excuse.

“Meet you here in twenty.”

Fixing your makeup and hair took no time and you even added a little extra eyeliner. Clothes were another story.

Here’s the issue: all of the cute outfits you’d discussed wearing earlier in the week didn’t work unless you wanted to show off your massively bandaged arms. Out of time, you panicked throwing on a baggy long sleeve shirt with the skinny jeans and boots you were already wearing. Grabbing your sweatshirt to throw over the top, you ran out the door. Frumpy but at least no one would ask questions.

“Wow, it’s like you didn’t even try,” his voice calls out from the lobby.

“Oh, fuck you Bakugo! Half my body is covered in gauze because of the burns you gave me. Nothing looked cute.”

“You’re talking to someone who is covered in scars. No one cares. Besides, if anyone does say shit about it, I’ll kill ‘em. I owe you that much.”

"You covered the scars on your arm with tattoos though, doesn't count."

Ignoring this, Bakugo’s red eyes looked you up and down once more before running up the stairs past you.

“Now come on, Backfire, I’m not walking into a party with you if you look like that. Let’s pick something else.”

“Oh, treating me like one of your arm candy girls now? So fucking sweet of you,” you rolled your eyes but still followed him back up the stairs.

“If you were 'one of my arm candy girls', I wouldn’t have to drag you back to your dorm to change. Have to say, this is a first.”

“Ughh speaking of which, it’s ten - shouldn’t you be hooking up with someone by now?”

“Pretty hung up on that, huh?”

“On the way you treat women? Yeah, you’re disgusting.”

“Am not. I’m not leading anyone on or making anyone do anything.”

“What if they end up wanting more?” you asked while pulling out your keys.

“Then I ditch ‘em, like I said I’m not leading anyone on.”

“Wow, you’re such a gentleman. Bet that’ll never come back to bite you.”

As you flipped the light on in your room, you were glad it’s relatively clean. Except for the pile of clothes you’d created on the bed but it’s not like you were trying to impress him of all people.

Not missing much time, he practically dove into the discarded items you’d tried earlier. “This is cute,” he said holding up a tiny tank top, “and this one. I didn’t even know you owned stuff like this,” he said before handing you a stack to try.

You almost commented about not wanting to take fashion advice from him before you realized actually looked good. He was wearing a grey jacket, tight black v-neck, and pants that fit really well. Fuck him.

Carefully, you put on the first shirt before looking up at the mirror. It’s a strappy black crop top. You bought it online over the summer but so far you hadn’t had the occasion (or the confidence) to wear it anywhere. The outfit, as a whole, looked cute but it really contrasted with the white cloth wrapped around your arms.

“I look like a mummy,” you said as you walked out of the bathroom to show him.

Saying nothing, his eyes analyzed you. “No, that’s the outfit,” he said, continuing to stare critically, “do you have a sweater or something?”

“Yeah,” you said while picking a thick oversized grey cardigan, “you sure I don’t look like a little kid on halloween?” Why are you even asking his opinion, he’s probably just fucking with you.

“No, you don’t,” he laughed.

The walk off-campus wasn’t the worst. He seemed to genuinely feel bad for hurting you so he got every door for you (which felt uncharacteristically nice but you decided not to get used to it.) You brought up the project from class and after a quick discussion, you both agreed it would be good to work together on it. Phone numbers were exchanged and you decided to meet tomorrow on “neutral territory”, the library. It wasn’t until you walked in the door of the house, that you realized the two of you were accidentally matching.

Not wanting to look like Bakugo’s date of the night, you split off fairly quickly and found Jiro and Mina outside.

“Hey, [y/n]! How are you feeling?” Jiro yelled before hugging you.

“I”m okay - thanks for dropping off clothes, that was a lifesaver!” you turned to give Mina a hug as well, “thanks for the invite! This party is awesome.”

“Of course! You should grab a drink and catch up to us!” Mina slurred back. You turned when Jiro grabbed your shoulder.

“Oh. And as a heads up, Mineta’s been looking for you,” Jiro mumbled under her breath.

“Thanks for the warning!”

He probably just wanted to recap after what happened in class today. That could wait until Monday - he could be tolerable in moderation when he was sober, but dealing with Mineta after a few drinks? Absolutely not. You made it three steps through the door when a glint of purple entered your peripheral vision and you booked it. Rushing between people, you ran down a hallway.

Now

Seeing a door to your left, you take a chance. You reach for the handle when it flies open and you collide with Bakugo, who is also cramming himself in what you’re now realizing is a closet. His arm wraps around you, pulling you against him to shut the door.

“Ouch, fuck,” you grumble after he grabbed the still raw burn on your back. Shifting back slightly, you hit a bunch of coats, leaving you pressed into his chest.

“What the fuck are you doing in here??” his hushed voice interrogates you.

“Hiding, obviously!” you respond in a whisper.

“Hiding from what?”

“Mineta. I think he wants to talk about today but.. Ugh I can’t deal with that little creep right now.”

Upon further thought, being in a closet with Bakugo isn’t ideal either.

“You know what, I think I’ll take my chances,” you begin to press the door open when he grabs your hand.

“No, you don’t. If you open this she might see me.”

“She? Who's ‘she’??”

“A girl in the support course. It’s so fucking stupid. I hooked up with her last week, now she thinks we’re dating.”

“So you’re hiding in a closet? So much for being direct and not leading anyone on.”

“Oh, I forgot. You’re just sooo much better than me. I’m not in the mood for a lecture,” he shifts against you, “you know what, fuck it. I’m going out there.”

“Wait!” you whisper yell at him, fighting the urge to say you told him so, “fine. I’ll drop it. Now wait a few minutes, if you open this door, I’m sure Mineta will still be lurking around.”

“Fine.”

Taking a deep breath, for the first time since entering the closet, you become acutely aware of how good he smells. He smells clean, like laundry and shampoo, but there’s another smell. Something more subtle that really draws you to him. Not that you could be drawn much closer. In this tiny space you feel the warmth of his body, the movement of his breathing. His arm still wrapped around you. This isn’t so bad. What the fuck are you thinking?

Bakugo breaks the long silence.

“This is the worst game of seven minutes in heaven,” he jokes, in an attempt to break the tension.

“No, it could be worse. Last year I got shoved in a closet with Denki. He was wasted and pretty handsy.”

“Really? I can’t picture you playing that game, you seem-”

You laugh, “I seem what?”

“I dunno, like you’d be too good for that or something.”

“Too good for that?”

“Yeah, like. You don’t even date,” he responds.

“You don’t date either.”

“You know what I mean. You’re basically asexual.”

“Oh my god, I am not,” you reply, “ I’m just busy, that’s all. I’d love to have more fun but it takes a lot of work to keep up in school. My quirk’s not all flashy like yours.”

He pauses.

“None of this is easy,” you almost feel like you’re imagining things when his thumb subtly rubs your shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m hard on you because I didn’t think I’d beat you otherwise.”

“I’ll tell that to Recovery Girl next time.”

“I promise there won’t be a next time. I went too far. And I got lucky. If you’d directed your quirk at me, I would have slammed into the wall and been in there with you. It was a risky move anyways and I shouldn’ have done it.” He squeezes your shoulder, “I’ll make it up to you. Come on.”

Pressing out of the closet door, you really hope no one notices you stepping out of the small space with Katsuki Bakugo. He takes your hand, pulling you down the hallway.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“Kitchen. That little runt’s afraid of me so you’re fine as long as you stay close.”

Approaching a counter of liquor, he opens a bottle of tequila, pouring both of you a shot. He slides it to you.

You pitch an eyebrow up at him, “you think I’m taking a drink from you?”

“Oh come on, I’m not a perv. You said you wanted to have more fun and I owe you.”

Skeptically you agree. “Okay, but I am not going home with you.”

He laughs, “who said I’d wanna go home with you? Besides, I’m still not convinced you’d ever relax enough to fuck anyone.”

“Oh fuck off, Bakugo. Clearly you don’t know me at all,” you say before downing the shot. It burns but you don’t let yourself react.

“Clearly,” he responds slightly smirking before drinking his own.

A few hours after you first started drinking with Bakugo, the two of you are sitting on the kitchen floor with the bottle between you. You’d started shot for shot but at some point managed to lose the shot glasses and switched to passing the bottle back and forth. Your sweater and his jacket piled in a ball between you.

“Okay. So,” you slur, gesturing vaguely at him, “you want to be a hero because of All Might?”

“When I was a kid, yeah.” He puts a hand on your shoulder to steady you, “but now I have more reasons, not just him. You didn’t answer my question though! Who’s yours?”

“Who made me want to be a hero?” you’d slightly dodged the question because, even in your inebriated state, the answer is a bit embarrassing. “Okay, I’ll answer but you can’t make fun of me for it.”

“That’s no fun, I already answered and you’re definitely gonna make fun of me.”

“If I was going to make fun of you, I already would have. You’re wearing All Might socks,” you lightly kick his ankle, the blue and red socks showing where his pant legs slid up. He glances down before his head lolls back towards you, staring expectantly.

“Okay, fine. Mine’s Eraserhead.”

“Eraser? Like our teacher?” he laughs, “no, that makes a lot of sense. You totally have a crush on our teacher!”

“I do not!” you lightly shove his shoulder. Unfocused, your eyes rake over him. You’d never noticed how pretty he is until now, he’s beautiful. He bumps back into you.

“Is that why you try so hard in class? You should tell him!” he picks up your phone from the floor.

“No! But also kind of?” your hand reaches towards your phone, missing his entirely, “I don’t have a crush on him but I want him to like me.” he raises his eyebrows at you, “NOT LIKE THAT!” you pause before continuing, “how would you feel if All Might didn’t like you?”

“He doesn’t dislike you.”

“He made me work with you,” you blurt out without thinking.

Bakugo flinches slightly at the honesty, but he seems to get it. “He’s not stupid, Backfire. He’s had almost two years to see that we fight all the time and he just wants us to get along or something.”

“If only he could see us now,” you laugh. To a stranger, you probably look quite close right now. Your leg over his, his arm over your shoulder, leaning in towards each other.

Wait, fuck.

His glossy crimson eyes light up, “wait! I’ve got it, that’s what you should send him!” he says while sloppily swiping the camera open on your phone and flipping the screen to a selfie. Pulling you in closer, your head falls onto his shoulder. The screen of your phone flashes lightly and he drops the arm in front of you, but you can’t be bothered to move. Tipping your face into him, your eyes closing. He really does smell so good.

“Aww it’s like we’re friends, he’ll love it,” he says, nudging your phone into your hands.

Prying yourself up, your eyes adjust to the screen. As your doubled vision merges with itself, you notice the notifications in your group chat with Jiro and Mina.

Jiro [where’d you go??]

Mina [we miss you!1!]

Mina [okay, we’re looking for yuo]

Jiro [re3alyy where r u?]

“Oh shit,” you say, “my friends must have texted when we were in the closet.”

You [omggg just saw tghhese]

You [not dead]

Tipping your phone away from Bakugo, you add

You [hes so hott6t]

You [shuold i kiss himn?]

Mina [oooooooo]

Jiro [who.?]

You [image]

Jiro [no]

Jiro [defnitly not]

Mina [🚩🚩🚩]

Mina [babe, ur SLOPPY]

Jiro [is that a kitchen?? we’re otw!]

Jiro [dotn do anythng!!]

Abandoning your phone on the floor, your head droops back into his shoulder. He leans into you, pressing his cheek into your forehead. Taking the bottle from his hand, you sip idly - unable to feel the burn anymore. You wonder what it would be like to kiss him, gazing longingly at his lips that are now only inches away.

“Blasty, you’ve been hiding [y/n] from us!” Mina’s voice fills the kitchen as your friends pile to the floor next to you, Kirishima in tow.

Jiro takes the bottle before grasping your hands and pulling you upright. “Hey, you alright?” she asks soothingly.

“They’re fine,” Bakugo asserts, “and I didn’t hide shit. We’ve been here most of the night,” he yanks the tequila back from Jiro, polishing the bottle off in a final gulp. “All of you just suck at looking for people.”

“Come on man, get off the floor.” Kirishima urges, “let’s go kick everyone’s asses at beer pong!”

“We need to get up and go too,” Jiro adds as she and Mina collect your belongings.

Staggering slightly, you follow your group out to the living room before everyone begins to part ways.

“I’m gonna stay with them!” Mina whispers to you, “Eijiro will walk me home later,” she adds with a wink.

“Bye, have fun!” you hug her before turning to Jiro.

“Don't forget about tomorrow!” Bakugo yells over his shoulder, following his friends.

“One o'clock, I'll be there, ” you yell back, your words still slurring together.

“What’s tomorrow?” Jiro asks while guiding you out the door.

“School project we have to do,” you respond.

“That makes more sense, but still. Maybe next time we go to a party you can find a boy to sit on the floor with who didn’t try to kill you earlier.”

part 2

m.list

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daydreamerwonderkid · 1 year ago

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Me, after doing 15 minutes of excessive googling on every Batfam member's birthday only to then realize I've accidentally missed the majority of them this year, and then also finding out that people are still aggressively debating over whether Bruce's birthday is April 7 or February 19, Dick's birthday happens 3-6x throughout the year, and Stephanie might have just popped into existence for all that DC cares:

Batfam birthday dates btw for anyone who needs them are listed beneath the cut:

DISCLAIMER: DC is notorious for being super inconsistent with everything and I am a mere tadpole caught in the tidal wave of DC's ocean. This post will be regularly updated with edits and corrections so please do not use it as word of law, I am begging you.

Update (8/24/23): To keep things more simple and easier for everyone I am going to start categorizing the birth dates I've collected into 3 categories.

-Most popular: Self-explanatory. These are the birth dates that have been canonized and confirmed by DC and are also more wildly celebrated by the fandom. Typically, this should be the first result you see when you google the character's birthday. But not always because DC sucks ass.

-Other date(s): These are the additional birth dates I come across that have been canonized in some form with multiple sources, but are not as wildly celebrated or popularized by DC and/or the fandom. Why am I including them here? Mostly because I don't want people coming in saying I forgot a date. But also because if I have to see this mess, then y'all have too as well.

-Potential but unconfirmed date(s): This is where I will put all the other additional dates I find, but specifically those that are lacking in complete sources or seem to be highly debated and scrutinized.

Also fun emoji ranking guide for me and me alone:

👑👑: Queen Shit. Characters with a consistent and simple birth date(s). Can absolutely do no wrong.

👑😮‍💨: In the Running. Characters who don't have a set birth date, but the mess is minor and completely DC's fault. They shouldn't have to be punished for DC's crimes.

🤡🤡: Gtfo. Shit is so inconsistent and stupidly messy that it's making me lose my shit. I'm putting DC and the characters on trial for this bullshit.

👑Alfred Pennyworth👑

Most popular: August 18

Other date(s): June 27 or August 10

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): September 19 (fml)

(Yes, I'm including Terry, fuck you lol

Also SERIOUSLY WTF is up with so many of these August birthdays!!!! Fuck, was everyone just getting crazy BUSY in November!!!! What's going on in the DC universe that is making November of all months the HORNY MONTH????!!!!)

(Mini update ((8/18/23)): Well, I just found out that apparently June 27th 2023 is also a highly debated birth date for Terry. As is August 10 2023/2024 and August 18 2023/2024. I even saw a mention of September 19 2023, but I don't know how credible that source actually is. I'm just putting it here because I'm losing my mind and I don't want someone to pop in and say I forgot it omfg I'm dying

I'm just ... why? Why is it so hard to just commit to one month and one date. I'm not even concerned about the exact year. Just commit to ONE, man.

Excuse me while I march over to DC HQ and burn the whole place to the ground iswtfg)

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of these. I have a massive headache now and am open to any suggestions or clarifications y'all have to offer.

Also, I'm going to fist fight Dick in a Denny's parking lot.

Update (8/17/23): So a mini post that I meant to use as a way to vent how insane Dick was making me somehow blew up way more than I ever expected it to, and now I feel obligated to clarify again that I am open to any corrections and additional info that anyone has to offer.

I'm saying this because I've noticed people reblogging this post for actual Batfam bday references and someone already pointed out I fucked up Tim's bday and now I feel bad for everyone who reblogged this post prior to that edit.

It's probably just the anxiety talking, but yeah I just wanted to put that out there.

Also justice for Stephanie Brown! She deserves to have her own special day and if I have to bully DC into giving her a canon birthday, then you bet your ass I fucking will.

(And to all of y'all who are encouraging Dick to keep running his side scam business, I just have this to say: There's an empty Denny's parking lot somewhere out there just waiting for you, too lol)

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yamamasjumpercables · 7 months ago

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All Yours

Matt!Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: making out and possible boner;)

a/n: why is it so hard to come up with a title

It’s been a while since Matt has been out. His brothers always try to convince him to go places with them. Yet Matt refuses to even leave their place. Nick and Chris have even tried to setup blind dates for Matt, a failed attempt to get Matt even an inch away from the apartment. Finally Nick and Chris has have enough of Matt’s isolation bullshit. They dragged him out the house to go to a concert with them. Matt knew they only wanted the best for him, so this time he didn’t make a fuss.

The triplets arrived to the concert. Their nostrils already being filled with weed, alcohol and sex. Nick tired to find a place where the three of them, could enjoy the concert in at least a less crowded area. But what can you really expect they are at a concert. Chris and Matt did the same as Nick. Until he made eye contact with you. Stopping in his tracks. He couldn’t look away from you. You dressed differently than all the other girls at the concert. Your outfit being just the right combination of hot and stylish. Your friend was confused on what had got you so distracted from the concert. She noticed your stare at a blue eyed brunette boy. “Girl go talk to him instead of eye fucking him” Your friend yelled in your ear. “I can’t do that I don’t even know him” You yell back at her, breaking eye contact with him to look at your friend. “Well now is your chance” She yelled, motioned at him walking towards you. You seen Matt walking towards you, not knowing what to do. Matt finally approached you “Do you always stare so hard at strangers” Matt joked, crossing his arms. “Hey you looked at me first” You say laughing, then poking his chest a little. In which Matt put up his hand, like he was caught guilty. “I’m Matt by the way” Matt says confidently. “I’m Y/n” you say with a big smile. Matt was so intoxicated by you. It was like you were a drug, something about you made Matt only want more. “Do you want to get out of here” Matt asked, his hand out for you to grab. “I would but I can’t leave my friend” you say wrapping your arms around your friend’s shoulders. “Girl what go don’t let me stop you, maybe he’ll give you some good dick he looks like he packing a 8 incher” your friend says pushing you towards Matt, whispering the last part in your ear. To which you react with a nudge to her shoulder and a laugh. You grabbed Matt’s hand and left the concert. Matt texted Chris that he was gonna wait for both of them in the car.

You and Matt were walking to your car, laughing and making jokes. “Ok ok, so you really don’t like ketchup it’s not even that serious” you say laughing out of breath. “Yes it is that serious, it’s disgusting” Matt says pouting. Matt wasn’t actually mad at you laughing at his hate for ketchup, he was just loves hearing you laugh. “You know I actually didn’t even want to come to this concert” you say coming down your laughter. “How come” Matt asked, with a confused look on his face. “I just wanted to stay home, it’s my comfort but my friend thinks I’ve been isolating myself too much so she dragged me out the house” you say finally making it to your car. “That so true, I didn’t want to come here either my brothers dragged me into this” Matt says leaning on the car. “Well I’m glad I came anyways I wouldn’t have met you” you say playing with the charms in your bracelet. “Thank goodness my brothers dragged me out the house” Matt says laughing a little, taking your hand that was playing with your bracelet intertwining both your fingers. You grab Matt’s chains pulling him into a heated kiss. Matt gripped your ass pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss. Your arms were around his neck, hands playing in his hair. Matt started kissing you on your cheeks leading down to your neck leaving hickeys. “What the hell” Nick said seeing you two making out in the now dark parking lot. You two quickly separate each other. You fixed your hair while Matt was scratching the back of his neck. “You said you were in the car” Chris says, with arm around your friend. “What’s going on here” your friend says pointing at you and Matt. “I should be asking you the same question” you say leaning your car crossing your arms. “This ain’t about me, get his ig and all that so we can go I’m tired” your friend says walking towards the passenger side of your car, not before giving Chris a kiss on the cheek. You and Matt exchanged numbers and socials. “So where should our first date be” Matt ask you, putting his phone in his pocket. “Hmm I don’t know you pick, I’m all yours” you say winking at him whispering the last part in his ears, opening the door to the driver’s side of your car. You drove off, leaving Matt with the most filthiest thoughts from the last thing you told him. A growing erection in his pants. He was fucked.

I need to make more Chris fics🫥 give me some ideas…

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #yamamasjumpercables #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut

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7seas-of-ryy · 3 months ago

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I Need You | Part 8

Author’s Note: Thank you all for your patience! I already started part 9 and will hopefully have it for you guys tomorrow <3

Summary: Forgiveness is a big part of healing but it is harder than it seems.

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: angst, let me know if I need to add any others :)

As you went to find Azriel, you were stopped by Rhys. He asked if you could come with him to his office to talk and you agreed.

"You seem to be doing better?" Your high lord said, not sure if it was a statement or a question

"Yeah, I just had a talk with Elain and cleared everything up." You told him

"Cleared everything up? You say that as if it was a simple miscommunication. You had one talk and poof," he waved his hands, "you've forgiven her?" he asked

"Rhys, holding onto all of the pain in my heart has been one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Plus, she was never very close to me." you stated

"You don't have to be close with someone to be decent to them. She hurt you and that's not okay." he countered

"Well, you know Elain, she's been through so much-" you started but a sigh from your friend cut you off.

"So have you, stop making excuses for her. Listen, I'm telling you this because I care about you. You are entirely too nice, and you need to start putting yourself first for once. I'm not saying you have to hate her but you need to work through your feelings before letting everyone off the hook." he told you

You understood what he meant, you had been so eager to fix everything. So desperate to make everything normal again that you hadn't been thinking about yourself.

"I love how much you care about us but please stop worrying about our feelings more than your own. We want to be here for you, so let us." He added with a smile

With a new mindset, you got up to go. You had to find Azriel, even if you weren't ready to forgive him you needed answers. As you reached the door, Rhys spoke again.

"One last thing, Azriel has been punishing himself over this more than any of us could. I don't want you to just let him off the hook, but keep that in mind when you talk to him. He knows he messed up." he told you.

With a nod at your High Lord, you went to find Az.

You turned down a hallway and felt a shadow wrap around your wrist and tug you toward the library. It was as if it knew you were looking for it's master.

Azriel was sitting at one of the big chairs made to fit his wings. He looked up and stood as you entered.

"We need to talk. I have so many questions for you and things I need to say. I don't even know where to begin. " you told him

"I do. I owe you a million apologies. I am so sorry I stood you up. I promise I will make it up to you no matter how long it takes. Please tell me if there is anything I can do to make it better." Az pleaded

"All I need right now is answers. Why did you pull away from me? You were my best friend and all of the sudden one day, you weren't." the words you had been wanting to say finally coming out

"I...I don't know." he stuttered

"Bullshit," you said immediately, "I know you, and you wouldn't do that if there wasn't a reason. Did I do something to you?"

"What? No... I just..." Az could barely get any words out.

You stood there looking expectantly at him.

"I love you. No, I'm IN love with you. I'm infatuated with you. You are everything to me and that terrifies me. I let down everyone I love and now I let you down too." the spymaster confessed

Before you would even put a sentence together, he continued.

"I see you in everything that makes me happy, in everything that brings me life. You are in the wind as I fly, in the stars that I stay up and watch at night. You are in every breath that fills my lungs. I've said it before and I will say it again. You are all of the light in my dark life. There is no life worth living without you." His chest was heaving by the end of his words

Your eyes were wide. You wanted to run and embrace him but you were still confused and hurt.

"If all of what you just said is true, then why did you choose Elain over me time and time again?" Tears filled your eyes as you questioned the male.

"I was a fool. A terrified, madly in love fool. For some reason, I never got it right. I pushed all my feelings aside so I wouldn't lose you. I couldn't bare the thought of you not loving me back. Once Elain came along I knew it would be so much easier to keep myself occupied with her. It was stupid and I regret it, you have to believe me." Azriel told you

"I do. But that doesn't make it ok. And you used Elain, that was not fair to her," you sighed and paused, "I suppose I wasn't being fair by blaming you for everything either. Az, I'm upset that you stood me up but what happened to me was not your fault."

He needed to hear that last sentence but for some reason it broke him.

"If I had been there, maybe I could have stopped it" He choked out through tears and fell to his knees in front of you.

You went to him and put both your hands on his face and made him look at you.

"The only person responsible for my pain is the one who tortured me. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen and I am so sorry for making you feel like it was your fault. I was hurt and angry and took it out on you and that wasn't right," You told him, "I mean, don't get me wrong, you still have a lot of groveling to do for standing me up but stop beating yourself up for the rest of it."

"I can grovel, I love groveling. I'll grovel for the rest of my life if I have to." He spoke

"How about we start with being friends again? It'll take some time for me to forgive and trust you but I'm willing to try if you are." You offered

The spymaster was a little hurt at the word 'friends' but he knew he had to prove himself. Hopefully he could show you he would be better and eventually you two could be something more.

For now, he would accept your friendship.

You both hung out for the rest of the day, catching each other up on whatever was going on in your lives. It didn't immediately feel like how it was before but it was comfortable between you two at least. Eventually it was time for dinner and drinks.

Rhys, Cass, Az, Feyre, Nesta and you all ate a lovely dinner together and then the drinks started. Everyone was enjoying themselves.

Cass said we needed to let loose and began dancing, Feyre immediately joining him.

"They're awful dancers." Nesta spoke with a look of horror on her face watching her mate

You giggled and your body felt light. You felt a glimmer of hope as if everything would eventually be alright.

Cassian and Feyre made their way over to where you, Az, Nesta, and Rhys sat. They made a few awful attempts to get the other three to dance. Once they realized those three wouldn't budge, they put all their efforts to you.

"C'mon y/n, I know you want to dance!" Cass spoke, wiggling his body at odd angles toward you. You shook your head no and threw it back in laughter.

"Please! I'd love to dance with a pretty little thing like you!" Feyre shouted.

Rhys, Az, and Nesta all continued laughing at their High Lady's antics while you and Cass froze.

The two of you stared at each other, sobering up at those words. A look of pain took over Cassian's face as he watched you. You felt your throat start to close up as you tried to stop yourself from crying.

"What's going on?" Az asked, jumping up and assessing the room for a threat.

A few moments of silence passed.

"Tassarion called y/n a pretty little thing when he kidnapped us." Cass told the group, the room growing solemn.

"I'm sorry y/n..." Feyre told you

"You couldn't have known," you said, "I'm kind of tired anyways. I think I'm done for the night."

You began the walk up to your room and Cassian grabbed your arm as you walked past him. He was giving you a look and you just nodded and gave him a small smile in return. You didn't need words to know what he meant. He was there for you if you needed him.

Patting his hand that was holding your arm, you continued to your room and he let you go.

The next couple of days went the same. You would feel like it was a good day and then something would happen that would bring you right back to that dungeon. Azriel was always there helping you through it.

He made sure he was there for you every second you needed him and you were grateful. With his and the rest of the inner circle's help, you got through a couple weeks.

You felt your trust for Az growing everyday. He had started training you again and you were feeling stronger everyday.

You were sat in the library, surrounded by books. Working on a few things for Rhys when you realized you hadn't seen Elain since you spoke to her that day. You raised your head from the book to look at Az, who was reading his own book across from you.

"Where has Elain been?" You asked bluntly

"She's been with Lucien and Jurian" He told you

"Oh? What's she doing there?" You asked

Realizing you weren't going to stop until you got answers, he put his book down, "I talked with her and apologized for using her the way I did. She was still upset with me but I told her that I was also upset with her. Y/N, she knew what she was doing that night, trying to keep me from you. And the flowers? I don't care how embarrassed she was, she couldn't even take the time to see you in person? And couldn't bother to write the note herself? Then after all of that and seeing what happened to you, the only reason you both talked was because you went to her. You may be able to forgive her already but I am not." he said

"So you sent her away?" you couldn't believe him

"No, of course not. She decided to go with him. She said she was going to give the mating bond a chance and also give us some space at the same time." Az answered

"Oh" you responded dumbly, not knowing what to say

"I will work for the rest of my life to gain your full trust and forgiveness back. I know how much pain we both caused you, her having one conversation with you does not change anything. I understand and respect that you must forgive her in order to help yourself but I don't have to do any such thing. I hope you will respect my decision." he said

"I do" you told him

A few of his shadows reached out and slowly curled around you. They had been more hesitant since you shooed them away at the table that day. You smiled at them and more came over to you.

You went back to your work with the comfort of the shadows nuzzled into your hair.

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#acotar #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel fluff #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar imagine #acotar fanfiction #a court of thorns and roses #azriel imagine

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percygranate · 1 year ago

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⚠️PSA – ickybatz is back! Predators on AO3⚠️

⚠️TW for Mentions of Child Sexual Abuse, Child Abuse, Minor Sexual Content, Pedophilia, GROOMING, and Pedophile Conversations. PLEASE read and reblog if you can.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Demobatz is NOT ickybatz, also known as batty-ruski, battyrusk.

I made a mistake by assuming due to the names, and after being in contact with Demobatz, I edited the post. I apologize for this but don't fully regret calling them out, as it helped Demobatz realize they made a mistake and it brought a lot of attention to the issue of predators on AO3 and Tumblr.

In-depth explanation [HERE]!

This 13/16-year-old CHILD is out here asking for pedophilia requests and getting encouraged and groomed by predators.

I accidentally came across it, and I encourage you to report them and everyone interacting with their work. There is a difference between dark romance, dark fics, and straight-up romanticization of children being assaulted.

They write about these children actively partaking and enjoying it, hoping they can please the adult taking advantage of them. These works are clearly written for the type of person that gets off on it.

——— Update ———

Their way of writing to cope with past trauma was groomed and manipulated by predators on AO3.

——— Update ———

——— False Information | Demobatz isn't Ickybatz ———

So much for “Oh, they are a traumatized child and made a mistake.” They now know it's wrong and continue doing it, even worse than before. And people continue to support it.

Their fucking apology was absolute bullshit. And everyone that came to their defense should be ashamed of themselves.

——— False Information | Demobatz isn't Ickybatz ———

↓ Here are AO3 accounts supporting this. ↓

Yes, they put warnings on their work and say “Don’t Like It, Don’t Read It!” But I would like to show you what they are writing, and how they are getting the attention of predators. I am sure you have to agree with me that they and everyone supporting this need to lose any type of platform they own. Demobatz should NOT be in any contact with these men.

⚠️They encourage each others to write this and Demobatz, A 13/16-YEAR-OLD, is actively putting themselves in danger by making “friends” for roleplay, and exchanging social media, with very likely, PEDOPHILES. They are actively getting groomed by people that know what they are doing.⚠️

——————————————————

↓These are their two original works↓

Financial Struggles — The summary says it all. But I feel like I should point out their conversation under their post.

Mother’s Milk — Sexual Assault of a male baby.

——————————————————

↓This is their work in the Stranger Things Fandom↓

Their work “Deceit” which is taking requests and actively posting has, as of May 21st, 16 Chapters.

1 — “Using this as a coping mechanism for my own trauma. Please request, any age is allowed❤️”

2 — Eddie Munson, 25 y/o | Reader, 17 y/o

3 — Uncle Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson | Reader, 6 y/o

4 — Eddie Munson, 20 y/o | Reader, 12 y/o

5 — Steve, 19 y/o & Eddie, 20 y/o | Reader, 14 y/o

6 — Dad Steve | Reader, 8 y/o

7 — Dad Steve & Eddie | Reader, 8 y/o

8 — Big Brother Steve | Reader, 4 y/o

9 — Big Brother Billy Hargrove | Reader, 6 y/o

10 — “Posting this so that you all can give me ideas on what to post next❤️ Anything is allowed/ age can be whatever you want♡♡!”

11 — Billy & Steve | Reader, 3 y/o

12 — Hopper & Joyce | Reader, 4 y/o

13 — !BILLY HARGROVE AND A NEWBORN BABY!

14 — Billy | Reader, 6 y/o & Max, 7 y/o

15 — “It hasn't been a week and I'm almost at 2,000 reads! Thank you all so much♡♡ Feel free to drop suggestions, request or even ideas/blurbs♡♡”

16 — Big Brother Eddie / Reader over the years, starting at 6 y/o

——————————————————

They actively encourage pedophilia and put themselves on a silver platter for predators.

If you are still trying to justify these types of works, please do it off anon and openly so you can be blocked since you are part of the problem.

Do not send threats, bullying, or harassment their way. Block and Report.

If you know one or more of the interacting blogs, call them out.

⚠️UPDATE: 22nd of May⚠️

Dear fellow Bloggers, Demobatz pedophilia fic “Deceit” has been taken down!

Yet their two original works (mentioned above) are still there. I ask you to keep reporting them!

Demobatz is currently using Wit as their social media to exchange ideas for their CSA & incest Erotica, and worse, to roleplay with potential predators.

⚠️Update: May 25th⚠️

AO3 has removed their account or they deleted it themselves. Their Wit profile has been deleted.

Due to this post, my blogs keep getting shadowbanned and reported.

⚠️Update: May 26th⚠️

DEMOBATZ CONTACTED ME AND I CAN CONFIRM THIS APOLOGY TO BE REAL!

In-depth continuation and explanation [HERE]!

⚠️I turned off Reblogs as the original post with false information is still making rounds and therefore people are missing information.⚠️

#ickybatz

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mysticcrownwolf · 6 months ago

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So your girl finally had a autistic meltdown and finally asked her mum about her childhood and got some mixed results but long story short I am finally getting an official autism and adhd diagnosis because in my mums words “Everyone deserves things that make their life easier to live”. Not gonna lie guys I did cried about this but it also came up that they did tried to get me diagnosed before (I don’t remember this at all) but were told I just had very high levels of hyperactivity so to make sure this type of bullshit doesn’t happen again I am making a list of all my weird or quirky traits and having the neurodivergents of Tumblr peer review them so I can finally get a diagnosis after 19 years of struggling.

1) I didn’t ever in my life made or had friends that stick around.

2) I was actually alienated a lot by most people in my life for being the umbrella term they all coined as ‘weird’ what this weird means varies from person to person.

3) I have actually been told by other girls that they gave me a chance to keep them company even after many people told them I was too weird and they should stay away from me. These same people later called me slurs, were self absorbed or just plain abusive towards me.

4) Through out my whole life I have sat alone on a double bench because no one wanted to sit with me in class.

5) I have a problem with properly spelling certain words like I write weird as ‘wierd’ or video as ‘vedio’.

6) People constantly doubt I have any sense of knowledge and act like any good idea I give is a surprise even when I was on the top of the class the phrases like “ That’s the first good idea you ever had” weren’t uncommon.

7) I walk a lot and I mean a lot enough that hyperactivity has still been a part of my diagnostic because I walked so much they had no choice but to put that in. I actually come to the school 30 minutes early then walked the whole time, I would just up and leave classes to walk in corridors because I couldn’t sit still long enough, my walking is such a huge part of me my old teachers still tell their classes about me as the girl that walked too much.

8) People in my college nicknamed me the headphone girl because I walked around our whole campus( I would pace a lot around the parameters) with my only noticeable feature being my headphones.

9) I was the only kid in my school not scared of bugs which lead to some notable incidents

I once picked a small green caterpillar and showed it off to my class of 10 year olds they started crying and teacher made me throw the bug even though I wanted to keep it as a pet

Our teacher once asked us to bring butterflies to class so I captured around 30 butterflies put them in a breathable Tupperware and took those to class me being the only person who did this freaked out all the other children with my butterflies , we later released them all in recess it was very pretty

I not only volunteered but gleefully presented live earthworms on my palm to various groups of parents in our school science fare much to the horrified looks of many parents and children about how a little girl like me wasn’t screaming from handling earthworms.

I scared our class mean girl by capturing a butterfly and then turning my hand holding the butterfly in her direction she and a few other girls screamed when I tried to tell them that the little critter was harmless and even offered to let them hold her (I was very confused why they didn’t like this).

10) I was friends with a lot of my teachers as well as higher class teachers especially the Science, Social studies and English teachers. I would often spend my recess in the biology lab chatting with the biology teacher about the different specimens in the lab and how much I enjoyed biology in general. I am half sure I would have loved to study biology/medicine if not for the fact it was a minimum investment of 7 years though I am still an avid reader of new biological discoveries and follow many niche youtube channels that focus on flora and fauna.

11) I was actually friends with all 3 principles in my school and would go to them after my last class to chat about my school day. This was so bizarre to others but I actually enjoyed how much these adults would listen to my info dump even if my own peers won’t.

12) Every single time my report card came I would usually top the class in most subjects except maths in which I usually underperformed ( don’t worry guys I figured out later I just need to know every basic concept to get the deep understanding of mathematical principles which my teachers were very bad at build but I later learned how to do it myself) but it would always have in big bold letters that “I talked to much and have weird questions and am disruptive in class ” which my bad I thought I could get details about what your are teaching and develop great interest but nah we just need to complete the syllabus as fast as we can. Salt on the wound I would only ask questions and discuss topics in class with the teacher since I don’t have friends I could talk to in class. They deadass never ever punished a single student from disrupting in class except me the girl who asked silly questions about what we were studying maybe they thought my questions were weird so I was asking them to disrupt they flow of the class rather than genuine curiosity who knows

13) I had very bad anger issues stemming from how the system as well as authority figures treated me ( I have since been to therapy and gotten help for it ) but a lot of time I verbally and physically attacked an authority figures usually when they punished me for something I didn’t do or when they tried to empty out their frustration on me or tried to bully me in anyway. I never took bullying face down from anybody be it younger or older than me my flight or fight response was always on fight

14) People did tried to bully me physically or verbally but I always returned it in kind with interest so it never really stuck like the isolation did. My most memorable experience with bullying was when I bitch slapped our school mean girl so hard the whole ground heard it , I don’t think I ever got any punishment for it and she later burned every friendship she had by throwing her whole group under the bus for some vandalism they did.

15) I unfortunately never had friends so when they school told me telling an authority figure I am being teased, harassed or even that someone is breaking the rules is what’s morally right I ran with the rules set for me rather than knowing the social norms that this would mark me as the school snitch without the teachers ever doing anything about the issues. Unfortunately I learned the hard way through trial and error that once you are labelled as a snitch their is nothing you can do to get that tag off and it comes with the added benefit of making people never talk to each other near me or even just leave the places I visit alone so yay more loneliness for me

16) I actively volunteered for every single activity and program my school office this sounds great but I picked and got selected for all 7 different fairs (English, Hindi, Maths, Science, Social science, Music, Art) but rather than pick out one or two I helped out with all 7 of them. They later added a 3 groups per person limit.

17) I am actually trained in both classical instrumental and singing but couldn’t complete my singing degree before the program closed down and it’s been 6 years since I played a Casio that I don’t think that even matters anymore. Anyway I added this because at first I did both of these at the same time along with volunteering for all the other activities before they added a 1 course per year limit which is a shame since it cost me my vocal degree.

18) I love reading that just the fact I found reading in my school library when I was 8 haven’t let it go since by my librarian’s estimate I read almost 3000 books (mostly children books) from my school library. I also have a mini collection of about 300 books that I have passed down to both of siblings. These days I read mostly on ao3 or the occasional paperback I bought at the airport but reading is still something I do almost daily.

19) See one thing about me is I was one of the first student at my school so much so my identification number was 35 so me being such an old student my school has actually legends about my quirky ( neurodivergent ) behaviour which has made me understand where most legends actually come from

I walked out of classes so many times teachers to this day still tell stories of the weird girl that likes to walk

My whole school knew who I was mostly because I would be the first and only person that likes to answer philosophical questions asked by our principal in the assembly, I was also great with improvising assembly conductions, thought of the days, assembly quizzes, full speeches on topics told to me 2 minutes ago, even improvised song recitations (can you guys pick up I have social anxiety now).

As I told you my lovelies I love reading so if I was immersed in a book and the class started I would just hide the book to read in class once I got caught so I got termed the girl who like to read books in class( is it stupid yes did it still happened certainly). I later learned to zone out to the stories in my mind during class which was very helpful.

As I told you guys I was actually on pretty friendly terms with my principal and teachers so guess who became the teachers pet for the next 8 years even though most teachers care jack shit about my interest and was further alienated because of this me ofcourse.

I actually once locked myself in the school bathroom for like 4 hours because I hadn’t completed the homework a teacher had given me and she was quite physically abusive towards me. I got suspended for a week because of this funnily enough nobody in my school actually remember this and most are really surprised to know I was suspended.

I am actually really famous or infamous by the way you look at it for physically assaulting a teacher funnily enough the name of the teacher, why I am attacked them and even how I hit them changes from person to person I have actually heard 10-15 different variations from different people( I am not even sure if I actually ever hit a teacher most I remember is I lunged at one teacher but she stepped back so I didn’t even touch her).

20) I was depressed from age 14 to 17 which caused me to chronic pain which later caused me to meet my current psychologist who helped me a lot but is vehemently against me getting any sort of neurodivergent diagnosis most she say is I have borderline adhd tendencies and that I think to much and should focus on calming down my mind which honestly is quite invalidating.

21) I can’t wear any sort of itchy or frilly materials when I was younger ( the texture was soo bad) but my sister could which made my mother think I was being a drama queen.

22) When I was younger I use toilet paper after using a bidet because the feeling of wet pants would over stem me so bad it’s not a problem for me anymore except from sometimes during winters.

23) I didn’t know Chewelry existed when I was younger so I chewed on my nails/skin,my lips, squishy parts of remotes, plastic toys, legos, scarfs, hoody strings, hot glue gun glue, chalk, cement, sand, mud etc. (Yes I know about the microplastics now no I don’t care).

24) I am highly sensitive to sounds so if my fan have a weird creak sound I won’t be able too sleep I also can’t sleep if I hear a clock ticking or any other repetitive sounds ( my mum still doesn’t understand why I can’t just force myself to sleep).

25) I also can’t sleep in continuous silence I need background noise to fall asleep.

26) It took me a whole year of forcing myself to wear bra and panties for my body to finally get used to me wearing them. It was a stimulation nightmare but I think it was worth it I enjoy wearing bras and panties now.

27) I can’t eat apples like I physically cringe even thinking of the sensation of biting into an apple. I have tried cutting an apple into every single why I could I still can’t swallow or even properly chew an apple the texture is such a sensory nightmare for me. Cabbage used to be the same for me but though constant reintroduction I can usually for myself to eat it with a glass of water

28) I have had many foods be absolutely sensory nightmare for me throughout my childhood. I was a very picky eater think bread, soup, lentils and noodles(packet noodles without vegetables). I couldn’t eat any kinds of fruits(except banana), vegetables, pizza , burgers (still don’t eat this), dumplings, wraps, pasta,etc. Heck I was a vegetarian for majority of my life before I learned chicken is actually a great textured food for me though I still don’t eat any form of red meat or sea foods and my food list is still very limited I have constantly reintroduced many foods for myself over the years which I can now usually bear to eat. I also learned that I can usually consume fruit and vegetables better if they are liquids so fruits juices, smoothies and soups were also great help.

29) I was and still am an absolutely clean freak and organiser. Like my bag use to have books organised in this specific order English, Hindi, Maths, Science and then Social studies and it needs to been in this order or I would get anxious. Fortunately no one else in my house ever wanted to organise anything so I would organise everything with way I would want it to be while also being neat.

30) One of my biggest sources of stress came from how dirty my siblings made our room. I would deep clean everything and then organise our books , toys and clothes and then clean and organise our bed they would just bulldozers through and ruin all my hard work in a day or two. Unfortunately I had this sense of cleanliness and order since I was a child and my siblings who were even younger then me weren’t slobs(ok maybe my brother was but anyway) they just weren’t wired to like cleanliness and order like I did and being children anything I told them about how we can keep our room clean went over their heads because I was always their to do it for them.

31) I actually had many special interests growing up though I didn’t have trains as an interest except for the cool toy train set I got as a gift or the maglev trains who are objectively very cool. My biggest special interest were rocks, space and animals especially all the books Nat geography and scholastic puts out on animals. I actually had a rock collection mostly made up of sedimentary rock and a piece of lime stone which my mother later kept in the shed where it got lost during home construction. I also have a modest collection of books and another collection of small childhood trinkets that I still have (I recently bought a clay bird that mimics actual bird call when filled with a little water to add to my collection).

32) I forget I need to eat and drink it’s always been like this I don’t have that internal clock that says you are thirsty go drink water or you are hungry go eat food . I need to remind myself it’s been 12 hrs I probably need water it’s been 32 hrs you should probably get some food or at least have a protein shake it’s like my body has no sense of hunger or thirst but I am getting better at eating and drinking at least the drinking water part anyway.

33) I am tired it’s not recent but in the last few years since I became an adult I feel so tired I use to be the topper of my class the gifted children that participated in everything now I am in college and just getting an 80% feels draining everyone has so much hope for me that I could and should do better but I am just tired. I walk and trekk sometimes but I don’t participate in any events and I see others I see my roommate who participates in like 5 different events and still gets a 95% if she can do it why can’t I. I use to be able to do so much and now I don’t have the drive to do much of anything anymore it’s so painful to realise that I should do better but what does better looks like for someone who is as tired as I am.

I did took some online test as well just to see if I even had a chance and the results were mostly the same I have many Adhd/Autistic tendencies and should probably get a professional diagnosis. I would be very thankful if my fellow autistic and adhd people would help me add more targeted experiences so I can finally get a diagnosis

@my-autism-adhd-blog you inspired me write all of this down and it would be very helpful if you could guide me to get a better diagnosis because of your experience. Also I greatly enjoy the contents of your blog so thank you for that

#autistic things #autism #autism spectrum #neurodivergent #neurodivergent experience #neurodivergence #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent things #actually autistic #actually adhd #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #adhd

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itsmarsss · 6 months ago

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Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 2 - How to Make Friends

How the mighty do fall. (Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn't exactly considered classy, Stolas)

Meet Blitzø.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9 | 2nd bonus

Word count: 2,415

Warnings: surprise surprise! the series is actually non-linear! Some hints of trauma regarding feeling used/objectified, a glimpse into a little more context, mentions of sex as usual, i told y’all i can be a fun writer

Things had been running rather smoothly at Ozzie’s before some idiot decided he could just come in.

Sneaked in, you assumed, since he didn’t seem to be accompanied, and, frankly, didn’t exactly look dressed for a fancy dinner night at Ozzie’s like other customers always were and he had the nerve to come up to you and ask for some minutes of Asmodeus’ time as if it were nothing.

This wasn't the first time this has happened, of course- for some reason people seemed to think that speaking somewhat confidently about having an appointment would somehow distract you, the person whose job was to strictly keep track of Ozzie’s time, from… well, doing your job.

At this point, he’d gotten past the whole ‘I have an appointment in five minutes´ thing and started trying to convince you that you had to let him talk to the Sin.

“Uh. I don’t know what you want me to say, dude. You can’t just like… ask to see Asmodeus. It’s… kinda not how it works. At all.”

“Why not?”

You sighed. “Who are you supposed to be again?”

“I’m Blitz. The O is silent.” He offers his hand for you to shake, but you only raise an eyebrow, unamused. He retracts his hand.

“Is that supposed to ring a bell or…?”

“Not to you maybe. But his little bitch boy knows who I am.”

“What?”

“I know Fizzarolli, okay?”

“Okay, and?”

“And? And I need to talk to the big Oz!”

“Yeah first off- you could just be bullshitting me. And second off… that doesn’t just automatically give you any priority in Ozzie’s very, very long list of important meetings.”

“Important meetings? What’s he doing right now, discussing dildo prices with some fuckface from Greed?” He raises an eyebrow in defiance.

You do your best to conceal the look on your face as you glanced at Ozzie’s schedule, which confirmed he was, in fact, discussing dildo prices with a manufacturer from Greed.

It wasn’t enough, though- the imp seems to realize it. “He is, isn’t he?” He grins.

“That’s confidential information.”

He leans over your desk, planting both his hands on top of it in front of you and getting his face closer to yours. “What’s a hot piece of ass like yours doing in a dump like this anyways?”

“This is… Ozzie’s, dude.” At this point, you don’t even have an excuse as to why you were even entertaining this guy (at least none that aren’t ‘things are slow right now and I’m really fucking bored’).

“Yeah, I’m usually at some shitty bar with cum and blood on the walls when I pull this one.”

You actually laugh. “I’m sure you are. Anything else I can help you with?”

“A… meeting with Asmodeus maybe?”

“Definitely not.”

“Eh, worth a try. How ‘bout a drink?”

“Are you offering to buy me a drink or asking me to buy you a drink?”

“Hey I’m up for whatever one you want,” he puts his hands up in surrender.

You roll your eyes, unable to contain a smile at the dumb conversation. At least he was entertaining you. You had to give it to him, he was a little funny. “You know what. Get yourself a drink, Blitz with the silent O. You probably need it.”

“Oh, really? Well if you in- hey wait what’s that supposed to mean?”

You just shrug. “Ya want the drink or not?”

He pauses. “Yes.”

You laugh again. “Just look for Maru by the bar and tell her you got a drink on me, she’ll make something for you.”

“Oh you’re not… you’re not gonna be… joining me?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He almost looked actually disappointed, just a little bit. Almost.

“Nope. The hot piece of ass is still at work.”

“Riiight. I’ll uh- I’ll be right there! At the bar. Drinking my drink.” He says, awkwardly walking backward.

“If you try to sneak into Ozzie’s dressing room I will find out.”

“And what would you potentially do if you found that out?”

“You don’t wanna-” Suddenly, Ozzie’s voice makes itself known in your earpiece, your voice dying off as you focus on what he says, saying the words that signaled things had gotten a bit heated during the meeting and you need to send in someone to escort the imp out of his office (something you had implemented after the third meeting in two months that had ended with him either slightly injuring or straight-up incinerating someone). “Yeah I wouldn’t recommend doing that, sir,” you tell him, quickly looking for and pressing the emergency buttons that signaled whoever was working security they were needed at Ozzie’s office.

“Oh, sir, huh? I can work with sir.”

“Huh?” Realizing you hadn’t given the imp guy any sign you’d been talking to Ozzie, and not him, you feel your cheeks burn the slightest bit, getting caught off guard. “No, uh- earpiece.” You awkwardly point at your right ear.

Blitzø’s eyes widen, taken by surprise for a second before trying to keep his cool- and the little dignity he had. “Yeah I knew that. Just some good old teasing. Gosh you’re so uptight!”

“Okay, please get in before I change my mind.”

“Yup. Will do. I’m just gonna… stop by the bathroom real quick-”

“It’s the bar or out, man.”

“Fiiiine,” he exaggerates, dragging himself out of your sight.

“Y/n, you there?” Ozzie’s voice comes from the comm again, and you realize he’s probably been saying something already.

“Shit, sorry. Someone was holding me up here. Did they get him out?”

“Yes. Do I have anyone scheduled right now?”

“Hold on, let me see,” you look at the screen, crossing out the meeting he’d just finished as done and finding the name written for the one under it. “Yeah, you have that meeting about the beach accident with those Inccubi in Pasadena.”

“What is a Pasadena?”

“Living world matter, sir,” you simplify for him.

“Living world?”

“Yup.”

“When does he get here?”

“Eight minutes.”

[. . .]

“You sure you’re fine?”

“Yes! All of my meetings are done, performances are going fine and Aro owes me a lot of hours anyway. Now if you don’t mind, I have some alone time with my Froggie to attend.”

“Ugh, that nickname makes me sick.”

“I don’t pay you to judge me.”

“Yeah you pay me 'cause you loooove me. See you on Monday?”

“Yes!”

“If you need anything ‘till then-”

“I will let you know, y/n. Now, I granted you an early night, didn’t I? I expect you to enjoy yourself.”

“Fine, boss,” you teased him, making sure he saw you rolling your eyes.

You walked out of Oz’s office, inside of which you’d seen no sight of Fizzarolli, which was strange. You obviously wouldn’t pry, but wondered if the incident with his hearing aid that Ozzie had had to take a break for earlier had been more serious than what Ozzie made it sound.

There was no use thinking about it too much, though. You and Asmodeus were close, but there were boundaries you still kept between you and respected. You were pretty much the only person Ozzie ever forwardly told about his relationship with Fizz (even though basically everyone else in all seven rings suspected it in some way) and he knew of many personal things of yours, too, but things such as Fizzarolli’s own personal life and the identity of any people you told him about in conversation usually went unmentioned.

So, to the bar it was. When Ozzie told you he’d gotten someone to cover you for the last hours of the night so you could be free, the very first thing you’d thought to do had been to go straight home- but even thinking it to yourself made that sound depressing. In truth, Asmodeus was the closest thing you had to a real friend- the closest you’d had in a really long time. And although you did feel grateful to be free of work, it wasn't really much fun to think of the fact that, not being able to hang with Ozzie, you didn’t really have much to do. Or anyone to do anything with.

So you decided maybe you’d have a drink or two, and enjoy the last performances of the night before bouncing. Couldn’t hurt, right?

To your surprise, when you sit down at a stool by the bar, ordering yourself a blackberry frozen margarita- in your opinion, the best drink on Ozzie’s drink menu- you’re startled to see the imp you’d talked to earlier that night sliding next to you, taking a seat on the stool right by your left.

“Sooo. The hot piece of ass ain’t working anymore?”

“You’re still here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

You shrug. “I dunno, I kind of imagined you would’ve managed to sneak into Ozzie’s dressing room and gotten yourself kicked out by now.” Of course, you were only taking the piss at him- you’d know if that would have happened. Obviously.

He furrows his eyebrows together. “Wait I actually could have sneaked into his dressing room if I tried?”

You laugh and decide to answer his first question instead of that one. “No, I’m not working anymore.”

“Does that mean I’m allowed to flirt with you now?”

“Oh, that thing you were doing wasn’t flirting?”

“Depends. Was it working?”

You drink the rest of your margarita in a single gulp instead of answering. “Hey, Maru? Would you get me another, please? You can put it under Blitz here.”

“Hey!”

“What? I thought you were trying to flirt. Buy me a drink!”

[. . .]

“So you’re the one who manages this whole thing?” Blitzø motions around to the restaurant, almost spilling the shot of tequila he was holding.

“Well not exactly,” you toy with the little umbrella from your third drink of the night. “I’m more focused on managing Ozzie’s business. I mean. The guy, not the place. You know, meetings to attend, places to go, personal errands, everything.”

“That’s… lame.”

“What do you do for a living then that’s just so fun?”

“Well, I used to be a circus clown.”

“What? Wait that is cool.”

“Only a little cool. I’m planning something big next. But uh. Right now I’m kind of doing anything I can find to support my daughter.”

“You have a daughter?”

“Yeah. Loona. The love of my life.”

“That’s cute.” You smile. Examining him with this in mind once again, you take he does sort of have a bit of a dad energy to him. It looks a little unconventional on him considering the… everything else, but it was there. “How old is she?”

“Nineteen.” He finally downs his shot, slamming the glass on the counter.

“Oh, wow.”

He seems to notice all the processing you were doing in your mind to try to gather how old he was.

“I adopted her like a year ago.”

“Oh. That’s cool. What’s she like?”

Conversation with him came to be strangely natural. A few drinks in, and, from an outside perspective, it would probably be hard to figure out the two of you had never seen each other before up until a few hours prior- cracking jokes and playfully flirting, sharing bits and pieces of your lives and drinking a little more than you should together. It was weirdly comfortable.

And, much to your surprise, Ozzie didn’t come up in conversation again. Not in the way you were certain he would eventually, anyway. After all, it all seemed too nice to not be a way to get you drunk and tell him something personal about Ozzie, or ask you again for a meeting with the Sin. Right?

By the end of the night, Blitzø tried a half-serious attempt at getting you to take him home with you (because apparently he rented a one-bedroom place, and gave up his bedroom to his daughter when she moved in with him, so he wouldn’t be able to take you home with him), to which you laughed, but stopped for a second to seriously consider.

You did find him attractive. His style was hot and his personality was fun. It was all certainly working for you.

You’re sure you could have a fun time with him if you did agree, and, honestly, atop of feeling like you deserved this, you kind of needed it. Nothing like a nice, meaningless one-night-stand with a barely-decent man to distract you from from being alone all weekend. Right?

But for some reason, you stop yourself. Maybe not this time. Because, even though you weren’t sure if that was really you or just the alcohol talking, at that moment you found yourself thinking that maybe you could actually become friends with this guy.

And though you weren't sure if he would want that, it would be nice to have a real friend other than Asmodeus, for a change.

“Um, I gotta work really early tomorrow,” you lie, giving him an excuse. “But I could give you my number? You’re really funny and I had a lot of fun tonight. Even though you definitely crashed the place,” you joke. “I think we could be… good… friends? Maybe? I’d like that.”

“You… want to be friends? With me?”

Fine. That’s where this ended, wasn’t it? He realized he wouldn’t be fucking you and so the interest disappeared. That’s fine. You were prepared for that. “It's alright if not.”

“No, give me- give me your number. Yeah. Give me your number.” He fishes his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you.

Oh. “Okay.” He probably only said that in the hopes to fuck you in the future.

Still, you grab the phone from him and type in your number and he immediately sends you a ‘hi’ and a smiley face so you can save his contact too.

“Just to be clear, like, we’re not gonna- like I really mean it, I wanna be friends.”

“Okay I got it the first time, you don’t gotta rub it on my face.”

Maybe he could be genuinely fine with just being your friend?

“I don’t mind some flirting with my friends, though,” you comment, and he smiles.

“Tell that to me when I’m sober, sweetheart.”

No harm in trying, right? And if sober you thought differently, you could always just block him.

Why not? Maybe this is just how to make friends as an adult.

“Okay but seriously where does the ‘O’ even go? Like how do I even save your contact?”

A/N: this wasn't even supposed to be out today but i got too excited so here it is. also im serious abt this being non-linear... there's shit mentioned here you'll only find out more about in like chapter 5 or so but i hope i wrote it in a way thats exciting enough to make it worth it! hope yall like it, share ur thoughts w me! luv yall <3

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kidconsky · 7 months ago

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Okay.... Let's analyze what happened in dcmk these last few weeks. Obvious SPOLIERS will be commented so you know.

> Appearance of Aoko's mother in Magic Kaito.

Where was she all this time? Why did she never appear or even show a sign of life? She didn't even call her daughter on her birthday... She appears so oblivious to everything, she didn't even know who Kaitou Kid was since her husband has always been obsessed with trying to catch this thief for YEARS. It seems like Gosho just randomly placed her in the story without trying to connect with the canon, it's almost as if she was a character outside of her original manga.

> Film 27 and its breaks in logic and common sense.

After all these years, Gosho decided to go against everything he had already said and made the Kaishin to be cousins, not only ruining a unique relationship (whether you shipped or not) but also bringing plot holes and contradictions in the story. If they are cousins what's the excuse for them never trying to even interact before? Why was it that when Yukiko first met Kaito, she never acted like she was related to her? The same with Toichi, she always talked about him as just her teacher and NOTHING more than that, it doesn't make sense to put that in the story now. Why did Kaito never even have support from his family? Not even showing up at Toichi's symbolic funeral? How come Yusaku never went to talk to his late brother's family, even if he knew the truth KAITO DIDN'T KNOW...

No one even considered his feelings...

> All the bullshit involving Kaishin.

The biggest problem for me about them being cousins is not just because of the ship but because of all the history and construction they had. It's as if everything that's different about them is summed up in the simple fact that they're related. But Kaishin has always had something unique, something that Gosho himself defined as "a mysterious bond". Them not having the slightest type of relationship made everything so unique, a connection that only the two of them could have together, one would easily understand the other even though they were complete strangers. Now I feel like they want to throw that away.

> TOICHI KUROBA AND MY HATE FOR HIM.

Gosho had already said that Toichi was possibly alive but the confirmation brought me a wave of anger and contempt that I had never felt for any other dcmk character (even bo). Let's think about Kaito in this whole story:

• lost his father when he was just a child and is still traumatized by it today.

• for 8 FUCKING YEARS he discovers that his father's death was never an accident but a murder.

• His father was actually an internationally wanted thief who was after a precious stone capable of bringing immortality.

• he steps into his father's shoes as KID and decides to try to find out for himself what happened to his father, who killed him and why.

• now there is a criminal organization that thinks he is the KID who didn't really die and they are trying to kill him once and for all.

• he decides to put himself at risk looking for Pandora, being something belonging to the organization and the police themselves.

• a lot of people hate him, regardless of whether he hurts people or not.

• more and more he becomes more and more removed from everything and becomes burdened with the KID charade.

• his own mother doesn't care about him, on the contrary, it seems like she likes to make things even more difficult for her son (she disguised herself as her dead ex-husband just to screw with her son's head, that's sickening to say the least).

• everything Kaito does is because of his father's murder, he never wanted to be KID, he never liked stealing, he doesn't do any of that for pleasure (except when it involves a certain mini detective but that's not the focus now ).

• and in the end his father was ALIVE all this time, doing who knows what while his son was risking his life because of him... BRO...

This whole thing is insane. And not in a good way.

#i'm insane #I can't stop thinking about Kaito in the middle of all this #someone needs to hug him #i'm crying so hard #my baby :(#kaito deserves the world #kaitou kid #kaito kuroba #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #kaito x shinichi #kaishin #dcmk #magic kaito #detective conan #meitantei conan #aoko nakamori #toichi kuroba #gosho aoyama

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astrobiscuits · 1 year ago

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Astro observations part 8

[LONG EDITION] - taken from my phone's notes (also, i was too lazy to edit it so here's a nice chunk of info)

🍂 Sun conjunct Saturn individuals inherit mindsets from the father, grandparents or great-grandparents. They might never fully act like their Sun sign (aka "shine"), since they've been conditioned from a young age to listen to parents, teachers, and later on bosses. They are the type to never divorce, no matter how toxic their marriage is. If these peeps deal well with their Saturn Return, they might become "THE BOSS" (aka the person everyone looks up to due to how accomplished, disciplined and rich they are, they've literally got their shit together and deserve a round of applause, "it wasn't easy to get to the top, but it was worth it" - you might hear them say this). They are also more prone to ingrain stoic principles in their lifestyle

🍂 Mars square Neptune gives off major cult leader vibes. They're the type to fool you with false promises until you sign up for their "camp" but then you realize it's actually an evil cult where all they wanna do is put you to work (and maybe later even kill you lol). These individuals become very scary when angry (you don't wanna see them angry, trust me). If they ever commit suicide, it'll be by drowning, alcohol or drugs

🍂 Mars trine Neptune is one of the best aspects for those who make a living off their talents. The talent depends on the element the trine is in:

If it's in Earth signs - ideal for those who work in the "money handling sector" in advertising, becoming an entrepeneur, holistic care (if Virgo is involved), cooks, those who work in interior design, seamstresses, embroidery/lace makers, models, event planners If it's in Air signs - ideal for those who work in sales (their negotiation skills are ✨chef's kiss👌🏻✨), becoming a spiritual/religious teacher or an art/music/any other creative pursuit teacher (lmao, i can't even speak💀💀), writers, musicians, magicians and astrologers (for the last two - if Aquarius is involved) If it's in Fire signs - ideal for dancers, theater/movie actors, hairstylists, circus performers, photographers (only if Leo is involved) If it's in Water signs - ideal for make-up artists, painters, tarot readers

🍂 Moon sextile Uranus individuals have got the ability to create a positive parasocial relationship with their followers. Since these people often use their devices to validate their emotions, i wouldn't be surprised if most of y'all also have atleast one active profile where you post quite frequently

PRO TIP: Whenever Transit Jupiter is trining/conjuncting your Natal Uranus (to a less extent also the sextile), you'll get a sudden boost in your followers count

🍂 This is a theory of mine that i've come up with and i'd love to hear your thoughts on it. When it comes to intergenerational astrology, i do believe that we inherit all of our personal planets placements from our parents and ancestors. But then you might say "But i don't act like my mother at all! This is bullshit!". I'm not saying we're all carbon copies of our family members. What makes us unique and distinguishes us from our parents and grandparents (or even great-grandparents) are the way the planets aspect each other in our birth charts and the planetary configurations between them. Basically we start from the same ground, but we all use our traits differently, whether for the better or the worst expression of them. Let's not forget that we also tend to go through different life experiences than our parents and grandparents; we might be blessed with different opportunities that might enhance our best traits and help us achieve what our ancestors always wanted to but weren't able to

Hope you enjoyed today's post, loves!💗💗💗 I've been wanting to post for a while now but my inspiration has been wandering alone in the Sahara Desert I can't promise that i'll start posting again more frequently (the new uni year is starting soon for me + i enrolled in a local astrology school 2 weeks ago🥳🥳 ya girl can't wait to officially become an astrologer) but my inbox will be open again for further questions! I must also thank you for helping me hit 500 followers!!! I'm probably gonna do another ask game once i hit 600 followers, as i'm too busy right now. As always, don't forget to drink water and take care of yourselves! Hope to see you soon! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

#astro #astro community #astro placements #astrology #astro observations #astro posts #astro notes #astrology notes #astro blog #astroblr #astrology community #astrology tumblr #sun conjunct saturn #mars square neptune #mars trine neptune #moon sextile uranus #intergenerational astrology

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 27 days ago

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Hey, single dad to a tweenage girl here. She's reached the age where she's likely to start menstruating soon. We've had some good discussions about what to do and the various products available. But: something I keep seeing/reading is about "not being old enough to use tampons". What does that actually mean? Is it a real thing? When is "old enough"? She asked me, I didn't know and couldn't find out, so I'm asking you. (Also: where does the time go??? I swear she was taking her first steps only last year or something...)

hi anon,

thanks for asking about this! I've heard from a good number of parents here but I'm not sure if I've ever heard from a dad before, or at least not any parents who identified themselves as such. what a neat first!

I'm also seconding the flying of time; my nephew isn't quite a year old yet but every time I see him I'm shaken by how much he's changed even in a week or two since our last visit. he'll be crawling soon and I'm not ready.

now, here's the thing about tampons: if your kiddo is old enough to want to use them and confidently insert and remove by herself, then she's old enough to use them.

most of the objections to younger children using tampons stems from concerns about preserving the hymen or even outright claiming that tampons can "take" someone's virginity, both of which are bullshit. treating tampons as if they're somehow sexual is, to put it lightly, absurd, and most people who have used them would attest there's very little similarity between using a tampon and having any kind of sex.

the only other reason I can think of as a potential cause for concern would be making sure your kiddo is old enough to remember that she's wearing a tampon and needs to switch them every 8 hours. you know your kid better than me (and would likely be the one to remind her, if she needs it) so I'll leave that up to the two of you to decide together.

understandably the idea of putting something in their vagina can be scary and uncomfortable for a lot of new period-havers, in which case the issue is not your daughter's age but her personal comfort and preferences. she may want to start with pads and graduate to tampons (or other inserted collection methods, like menstrual cups) later, or maybe she'll always prefer external methods like pads or period underwear. either way, it's a matter of her personal preference.

#sex edventures 2024

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cherienymphe · 2 years ago

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When The Party’s Over III (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, loss of virginity, abusive relationship, forbidden relationship, violence, public sex, jealousy, underage drinking, drug use, manipulation, corruption, forced pregnancy, innocent reader, Heyward!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | divider by @silkholland

➥ series masterlist

summary: Manipulated into a secret relationship with Rafe Cameron, you’re finding it much easier said than done to do the right thing and walk away…especially when he refuses to let you.

“I’m calling in that favor.”

The voice at your ear made you jump, and you looked over, startled by both the sight of Rafe and his close proximity. You were at The Wreck, waiting to pick up an order for your dad when he snuck up on you. You couldn’t help but note the smell of some cologne he was wearing, light and airy and not so suffocating like other types. It seemed to come from the sliver of skin that was revealed by his white button down, and realizing that you were staring, you looked away.

“Um…okay,” you said, swallowing and letting out a nervous chuckle.

If at all possible, he found a way to move closer, hand on the counter as he rhythmically tapped a finger on it.

“My dad and Rose are having a little get together. Celebrating their bullshit marriage, I guess, and since I’m required to be there, I figured I shouldn’t have to suffer alone.”

He was teasing, a small smile on his face, and you returned it, laughing to yourself. You had the brief thought though that this sounded like a date, and your smile waned. Rafe was probably one of the best looking guys on this island, and God knows you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t dazzled by him even just a little bit, but the thought made you frown.

For one thing, Pope would lose his mind, and while you didn’t go around being bossed around by Pope, Pope would have every reason to be upset by this. Also, you felt you were getting ahead of yourself, reading too much into what was probably a simple favor. The thought of Rafe being into you was laughable in your mind. He just didn’t date girls like you.

“Like…a date…?”

“Nah, no,” he was quick to tell you, and you hated the way your heart sank a bit at his quick denial. “You’re kind of fun, Heyward.”

Your face heated up at that, your smile returning.

“…and I think I’d be less likely to kill myself if you were there.”

You exhaled, looking away.

“Won’t…Sarah be there? I mean, I can tell Pope that it’s not a date until I’m blue in the face, but he’s not going to hear it.”

Rafe laughed at that, like he found your worry about Pope finding out funny.

“No, Sarah won’t be there. Your brother and their friends have taken John B.’s van to God knows where and probably won’t be back until tomorrow. I saw them leave with Sarah this morning.”

“Huh.”

You had noticed that you hadn’t seen Pope all day, not even when you woke up, but it wasn’t abnormal for you, so you hadn’t given it much thought.

“So, it’s tonight?”

“Last minute, I know, but to make up for the short notice,” you watched him reach down to grab a bag you hadn’t even noticed. “I got you something to wear. It’ll put a smile on their face, so…”

You were torn between being flattered or offended. On the one hand, no guy had ever bought you anything before, date or not. On the other, you didn’t know if you imagined the insinuation that Rafe was basically saying he didn’t think you owned anything that would impress Ward and Rose. He would be right, though, but you didn’t think you liked it.

“You seemed sure that I would say yes.”

“I hoped,” he said with a shrug, a crooked smile on his pink lips as he held the bag out to you.

Reluctantly, you took it, and his smile grew.

“Okay,” you finally relented, shrugging.

“Good, good,” he replied, straightening and looking towards the kitchen. “When your order’s ready, let me drop you off. I’ll swing back by to pick you up at 8.”

He brushed his hand over your shoulder and was gone before you could protest, and you were forced to go along with that, you guessed. He kept his word, helping you carry the food before helping you into his truck. Your dad seemed very happy to wave Rafe goodbye when he dropped you off, and you couldn’t gage his reaction as you told him about tonight.

“Anniversary party?”

“Something like that,” you said, licking your lips. “Since I’ve been tutoring Wheezie, they wanted to be polite and invite me.”

You hated lying, but you didn’t know how it would go if you told your dad Rafe invited you. Again, like Pope, you could tell him that it wasn’t date, but he’d never buy it. Your dad trusted you, at least you were sure, but you were positive any normal dad would flinch at the sight of their teenage daughter dating a slightly older guy. It wasn’t like Rafe was your dad’s age or anything close to it, but he just seemed so much older sometimes, more mature, and being around him was slightly intimidating.

“Well…alright. That seems fair. Very nice of them too,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest with a nod.

He seemed satisfied enough, and you relaxed.

As you got ready, you didn’t know why you were nervous. Rafe had said it wasn’t a date, and the thought was beyond silly anyway, but you couldn’t get your heart to stop racing. In all the other settings you’d been in with Rafe, it was so casual and usually surrounded by dumb teenagers and college students who weren’t giving you a second thought. That first night was the only exception, and even then, you couldn’t focus on anything other than being embarrassed to be rescued by your brother’s friend’s brother.

However, this was way more formal. You’d be by Rafe in front of his parents and whatever other rich Kooks they’d invited. You were starting to remind yourself of Pope, but you couldn’t help it. You were hyperaware of everything. Your hair, your makeup, and even what you might say. You were sure you’d sweat out of the all-white outfit Rafe had picked out.

He wasn’t even a minute late, and you didn’t miss the way his blue eyes lit up as you answered the door. He looked you over, admiring his work apparently, before taking your hand and making you awkwardly spin.

“It looks nice on you.”

A neutral compliment. You smiled, thanking him.

“The actual dinner portion will last all of thirty minutes if that,” he told you while on the way.

You looked him over as he talked, thinking he looked so proper in a simple polo and khakis. He didn’t look like himself, and you felt a little better that you weren’t the only one being made up like a doll.

“So, once the adults—well, the older adults, start doing their thing, we can honestly fuck off to wherever.”

“Okay.”

You nodded, looking out of the window and lightly pulling at your skirt. You thought you could feel Rafe’s eyes on you, and a moment later, his hands was pulling at yours.

“Stop,” he said, making you look at him. “You look fine.”

He said it so confidently that you told yourself the same.

Ward was definitely surprised to see you when you walked through the door, but he pulled you into a polite hug, nonetheless. Rose did the same, and Wheezie boldly asked if you were Rafe’s girlfriend with a small frown on her face. You were quick to shut that down, and Rafe just chuckled into his glass as he sipped on what you assumed was a virgin drink. Ward seemed like a very straight laced kind of man.

There definitely wasn’t as many people as you feared there would be, but for some reason, that made you even more nervous. Your cheeks hurt from your tight smile, answering questions about school and summer plans.

“I took a year off too,” some older man told you, a friend of Ward’s. “Best decision I ever made.”

When he proceeded to ask you about fancy colleges, that was where he lost you. You definitely had the grades and extracurriculars for it, but the money…well, that was another thing entirely. Just as Rafe had predicted, dinner lasted all of thirty minutes, and when the formalities disappeared and everyone started to just mingle outside, you found yourself looking at a painting in one of the halls.

“Some expensive thing Rose just had to have,” a familiar voice drawled from behind you. “Rose is big on art and pottery and…”

He trailed off when you faced him, dismissively waving his hand, and you wondered how long he’d been standing there.

You got the feeling he didn’t care for his stepmother all that much.

“I can see why you invited me,” you told him. “It’s very…proper.”

“Stuffy.”

“Refined.”

“Uptight.”

You and Rafe teasingly stared each other down, and you relented, throwing up your hands.

“I was trying to be nice about it, but-.”

“Why?” he scoffed, moving closer. “Call it what it is.”

He roughly exhaled, nursing a darker drink that you were sure wasn’t so virgin.

“All they do is sit around and pat each other on the back for being so rich and sophisticated and smart to make deal after deal.”

You tilted your head at him as he took a sip, pressing your lips together.

“Don’t do that. You like being rich just as much as they do.”

He smirked, eyes cutting to you, not denying it.

“I’m not criticizing them for being rich. I’m criticizing them for being boring,” he corrected you. “All the money in the world and this is what they choose to do with their time.”

You didn’t disagree with him there, and your gaze was drawn to another painting. Again, you thought you could feel him staring at you, and when you looked at him, you found that you were right. Rafe was the type who wasn’t embarrassed about being caught, and so he kept staring.

“I’m glad you came with me, tonight.”

His sudden sincerity threw you, and you licked your lips, nodding.

“You asked, and…I do kind of owe you.”

The house felt empty aside from you two.

“Still,” he breathed. “Tonight was actually a little fun because of you, so…”

He held his hand out, nodding towards the stairs.

“Come on. I don’t want to be the only one drinking,” he joked.

At least, you thought he was joking, but even if he wasn’t, you neared him and slipped your hand in his anyway.

You were half asleep when you heard it.

Tap.

It was clear as day in your ear, the sound echoing throughout your quiet room, but you’d convinced yourself you’d imagined it when you heard it again. Your lashes fluttered, and you rolled to your back, staring at your ceiling with a frown before turning your head towards your window. The figure that stood there had your heart attempting to climb out of your throat, and you sat up so fast it made your head spin. However, it took you all of seven seconds to recognize how familiar they looked.

With a confused frown, you slid off of your bed and made your way to the window.

“Rafe?”

It was without a doubt the very blond who had somehow become something akin to…a friend these days.

“What are you doing here?”

You didn’t even know how late it was, and as much as Rafe had scared you awake by standing outside of your window, your eyes felt tight with sleep. You noticed the tautness in his face, jaw clenched and eyes not as warm and teasing as you had become used to. Your frown deepened. He pulled his lip between his teeth, glancing away with a small sigh before meeting your eyes again.

“Can I come in?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you worriedly looked at your closed door like your parents would somehow sense this man asking for entry to your bedroom.

“Why…?” you slowly wondered, confusion growing.

You watched him take a deep breath, and as his knuckles strained against your window sill, you noticed they were slightly bruised. Worry swirled in your gut, and when you looked back up, Rafe was looking at you, and you knew he knew you noticed.

“To tell you the truth,” he sounded reluctant to do just that. “I got into it with my dad…”

Your shoulders drooped.

“…and I just couldn’t be in that house, right, so… I’m driving and I’m driving, and I’m thinking that I don’t want to be around Topper or Kelce either who’s just going to give me some coke or put a drink in my hand or crack jokes when I’m actually fucking pissed.”

The venom in his tone shocked you, and you blinked at this other side of him.

“It wasn’t until I was almost here that I realized where I was going…and I just… I just wanted to see you.”

He scratched the back of his head, and your chest clenched.

“No…yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. I… Come in.”

You moved out of the way, swallowing at the sight of Rafe Cameron climbing through your window. It didn’t seem real, and you shook your head.

“Do you need anything? Ice or…?” you trailed off, eyeing his knuckles again and wondering if that’s what he meant when he said he got into it with Ward.

You hoped not.

“Nah, this isn’t from that. I punched a wall,” he told you, and it sounded so ridiculous you couldn’t help but to let out a nervous laugh.

“You punched a wall?”

He nodded, looking away from you and instead taking in your room.

“Are you sure you don’t want ice or anything? That has to hurt,” you whispered.

He didn’t answer you at first, slowly walking around your room and studying every poster, every picture on your mirror, and every random item you hadn’t gotten around to putting in it’s proper place.

“Nah,” he drawled. “I’ll be fine. Not the first time.”

His words made you frown, and you suddenly felt…sad for Rafe. You never imagined you would. He had everything someone his age could want, and you felt so narrowminded all of a sudden, wondering why you thought his money and fancy upbringing secured a happy life. You and your parents had your spats, sure, but they’d never made you angry enough to want to punch anything. It made you shake your head.

Even crazier, Rafe had come to you. Not the friends he’d had his whole life, but you.

When he got done with his perusal, his eyes fell to you, drinking you in, and you only just became aware of the t-shirt that hit your knees. It wasn’t like Rafe was making you feel exposed or anything, his eyes focused on your face, but you couldn’t help it. Rafe Cameron was in your bedroom, and you didn’t have on pants.

That wasn’t something you could just ignore.

You moved to sit down, unsure of what else to do, and you watched Rafe shove his hands into his pockets.

“I’m sorry,” you said suddenly, and Rafe tilted his head at you. “About you and your dad.”

He chuckled at that, and you didn’t know what was funny.

“It’s not the first time, and it definitely won’t be the last.”

That made you sadder, and you were sure it showed on your face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever fought with my parents like that,” you slowly said, and Rafe smirked.

He walked towards you, sitting on the edge of your bed with his back facing you.

“No, you wouldn’t, would you? You’re a good girl.”

The way he said that had you wracking your brain, and something about his tone made you feel like you should be insulted. As if he’d read your mind, Rafe continued.

“You don’t fuck up like I do.”

The insinuation that the fight was deserved had you moving closer.

“Whatever you did, I’m sure it doesn’t warrant your dad making you so angry you punch a wall,” you told him, perplexed.

He looked over his shoulder at you at that, drinking you in, and a slow smile made it’s way onto his lips.

“You have a lot of faith in me. How do you know?”

Rafe’s face was closer, now, smile gone.

“How do you know I didn’t deserve it?”

You didn’t truthfully, but the Rafe you’d grown to know was nice. He gave you rides when you needed then, and he was friendly, and he lied to your parents for you.

“I don’t, I guess…but, the Rafe I know doesn’t.”

He stared at you for what felt like a long time before nodding, a soft smile on his face as he turned away.

“Well, thank you. That means a lot.”

You bit your lip, having something on your mind and contemplating on whether or not to voice it before deciding to.

“I’m glad you came here.”

He perked up at that, looking at you again, and you held his gaze.

“You shouldn’t be alone after something like that, with that much anger, and…if you decide you don’t want to talk to your friends, you can come to me. I don’t mind.”

Rafe’s brows drew together at that, and he eyed you.

“You mean that?”

“Yeah,” you said, sitting up. “It would make me feel better to know that you’re not punching walls.”

You both softly chuckled at that, and you were startled when Rafe took your hand. He played with your fingers, eyeing them and swiping his tongue between his lips before his gaze met yours again. He looked at you from beneath his lashes as he leaned on your bed at your feet.

“Thank you.”

You returned it with a smile, wondering how on earth you were going to get any sleep tonight.

You fucked up.

Bad.

You couldn’t even blame this on Cam or Bunny, because this was all you. They’d warned you that the punch was spiked, and you could vaguely recall making a comment on how you didn’t even taste any alcohol. This was your first lesson in learning that was the dangerous kind, you guessed, and you pressed your hand to your forehead.

This was the fourth time you’d thrown up tonight, and you could feel that you were dehydrated. Your fingers shook, and you were so out of it that you stumbled with every fifth step you took. You could barely make out the faces in front of you, and you suspected that you’d probably walked right by the blonde or redhead and hadn’t even realized.

There were so many people in the house, this easily being one of the biggest parties you’d been to this summer. You had recognized people here and there, but not enough to point them out at this point. You’d never been this drunk in your life, and if you doubted it before, you stuck to that thought when you realized you’d misplaced your phone.

You were glued to your phone.

You leaned against the wall in the hallway, pressing your face into your hands and fighting the urge to throw up again. Your stomach kept turning, and you felt that familiar taste of salt in your mouth, making your face fall.

“Oh my God,” you heard yourself slur.

When you banged on the bathroom, you got a response, and you huffed. It was a struggle to get down the stairs, and you almost fell a few times trying to push past people and get outside. While the fresh air did sober you up a bit, it did nothing to alleviate your nausea, and your face became acquainted with the bushes.

You hated throwing up. Hated the salty wet taste in your mouth, and the way you felt so out of control as your body literally forced things out of you. As you puked into the bushes at some house of some guy you couldn’t even remember, you thought to yourself that this was the lowest of the low for you…

…and then you heard his voice.

“Y/N?”

You were taking deep breaths when you heard him approach you, and you tearfully looked up to meet his gaze.

“Hey, Rafe,” you breathed, correcting yourself and now recognizing this as the lowest.

You kept breathing in the fresh air, trying to clear your head.

“I’ve been there once or twice myself,” the blond joked, fully taking in the scene before him.

However, when you tried to straighten only to sway on your feet, he became serious.

“Woah, woah. You alright…?”

His soft voice was in your ear, and you reluctantly shook your head.

“I drank way too much…and this is the fifth time tonight I…”

You trailed off, embarrassment filling you. Rafe’s hands dug into your waist and shoulder as he held you upright.

“You sure you weren’t drugged?”

You shook your head.

“I knew the punch had alcohol, but I could barely taste it, so my mind wasn’t really focusing on that as I kept drinking more,” you slurred, pausing to take a deep breath. “It snuck up on me.”

“Yeah, that sounds familiar,” he dragged out, helping you walk. “Where are your friends?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I lost them.”

You paused.

“…and my phone,” you said with a groan.

You were practically hanging off of Rafe, now.

“Alright,” he said like it was no problem, like you weren’t inconveniencing him again. “Let’s just get you home.”

You reacted immediately.

“No,” you almost shouted, and you could tell you shocked him.

You softened your voice, trying not to cry.

“I…I can’t go home like this,” you fearfully whispered. “Not yet, at least.”

All of your weight was on Rafe, and he seemed to see where you were coming from.

“Okay, it’s okay,” he whispered, guiding you to his truck.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized, the world swaying a bit. “I know you had so many better things to do, and…”

You trailed off when Rafe pressed a finger to his lips, sitting you in his passenger seat, now. You slowly blinked as he buckled you in, and you felt his hand on your face, wiping your mouth with his thumb.

“It’s okay,” he slowly reiterated.

You winced when the door closed, head lolling as Rafe started it up. The soft purr of the truck was relaxing, and you felt yourself leaning. You could hear him calling your name, and you tipped all the way over, your head near his lap. You could feel his hand on your hair, and you absentmindedly thanked yourself for keeping it up tonight, happy it wouldn’t be smeared with vomit.

The only way you knew you’d dozed off was because the next time you opened your eyes, you were slowly being led through Rafe’s yard, his chest at your back.

“No one’s home,” he told you, and you were so glad.

You blinked, just realizing that he’d walked you through his yard.

“You brought me here?”

You swiveled your head towards him.

“Yeah,” he breathed, preparing you for the stairs by kicking your shoes off with his feet. “We’ll sober you up, and hey, if need be, we’ll put you in the guest room.”

That sounded like a nice idea, and you both slowly took the stairs one at a time.

“…my parents…”

Your voice sounded so soft in your ears.

“Hey…didn’t I take care of them before?”

You giggled at the memory, nodding.

You drunkenly took in Rafe’s room as he walked you inside, and you collapsed on his bed, looking around as he searched his drawers. You’d never been in his room, hadn’t even thought about it really, but now that you were here, you looked around in wonder. You wondered if this was how Rafe felt when he was in yours the other night.

You noted the sound of the shower turning on.

When Rafe was at your side again, he was helping you sit up and was putting a shirt in your hand. He knelt before you, touching your face again and studying you.

“You think you can manage?”

He was talking about the shower, and you nodded.

“I’ll try.”

Try you did. The hot water and steam definitely helped, but there’d been several times during your shower that you’d found yourself kneeling or leaning against the wall, having a hard time standing. You couldn’t even focus on the fact that you were showering in Rafe’s room, taking in his bathroom too when you managed to get the water off.

You were walking better, now, and your head wasn’t swimming as much when you stepped out. However, there was no sign of Rafe, and you made your way into the hall. You were nearing the stairs as you could hear him in the kitchen, and you had managed to struggle halfway down them when he appeared at the bottom, hurrying towards you.

“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” he chuckled, a couple of bottles of water in his hands. “Are you trying to break your neck?”

You pressed your hand to your head, shaking it as he turned you around.

“I was looking for you. Where should I put my clothes?”

“I’ll take care of them, don’t worry,” he told you, a hand on the small of your back.

When you were back in his room, you sat down on his bed, gladly taking a water.

“Thank you,” you told him, chugging it. “I never thought I’d be so drunk it scared me.”

He sat the others down on his nightstand.

“How you feeling?”

You sighed at the question.

“I’m too drunk to step a foot into my house and I threw up five times,” you deadpanned.

Rafe chuckled at that before disappearing into his bathroom.

“When you’re done with that, come brush your teeth. Get that taste out of your mouth,” he called.

You never felt more grateful, taking him up on that suggestion. He told you you could put your spare one by his, and when you were done, you joined him in his room. Without thinking, you laid down, hoping that you’d feel a thousand times better in an hour or so.

“You don’t even know how embarrassed I am,” you murmured, and the bed dipped as Rafe sat down in front of you. “At this point, you have to think that I am a mess and should just be locked up in my house forever.”

You glanced up, eyes meeting his.

“That’s not what I think,” he whispered with a shake of his head.

“Well…it’s what I think.”

Just then, you both heard the door downstairs, and your wide eyes met his as voices reached you. They sounded familiar, like Sarah, and you closed your eyes, lips parting in a silent sigh.

“Great,” you murmured.

You felt Rafe’s hand on your arm, and you opened your eyes to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured you. “We’ll wait here for a while, and if you feel better, I can sneak you out.”

Your eyes watered at that, and you knew it was the alcohol.

“Thank you,” you mouthed and kind of whispered. “You’re too nice to me, Rafe, and I don’t know why.”

There was a slight frown on his face at that, and he moved to lay down too, facing you.

“I just keep thinking of how many crappy situations I found myself in and how I would’ve possibly gotten out of them if it weren’t for you.”

He didn’t respond to that, and you could feel your eyes drooping some.

“You’re like this coke snorting angel in board shorts or something…”

You both chuckled at that, and Rafe was saying something to you, but you were drifting too far into sleep to hear it.

The next time you woke up, the house was quiet. You still felt groggy, head swimming, but you could tell the water and sleep had done something to alleviate your inebriation. You opened your eyes and was happy it was still dark outside, but you did wonder what time it was.

“You only slept about an hour and a half.”

Rafe’s voice startled you, and you glanced up, not realizing he was awake. You wondered if he’d been awake this whole time, and as you noted him watching you, you wondered if he’d done that the whole time. The alcohol in your system had you entertaining self-centered thoughts.

“Sarah?”

“She and her friends are still here.”

You noticed his use of the plural and frowned. He nodded.

“Even Pope,” he told you.

You sighed at that, and you were sure you were going to say something when Rafe’s finger touched your lips. The action surprised you, and you were more focused on him, now. Somehow, your drunken haze hadn’t allowed you to register it before, but you couldn’t help but focus on the fact that you were half dressed in Rafe’s bed…with Rafe. You hadn’t realized how close you were, and you studied his gaze.

“What…?” you finally whispered, and he simply shook his head.

Something about the air felt…off. Off to you, at least because this was unfamiliar to you. Rafe’s finger trailed from your lips to your cheek, and then down past your chin. Your heart sped up at the feel, and you swallowed. Rafe’s gaze was drawn to the movement, eyes studying the column of your neck.

“Rafe…”

The blond moved closer.

“What are you…?”

Your words died on your lips.

Rafe gently pressed his to yours, and you blinked, taken aback but feeling so warm. The kiss was gentle, and you sighed into it. You’d kissed a few boys before. Innocent pecks behind the bleachers or by a tree during lunch, but never anything that lasted this long and certainly didn’t make your entire body tingle. It was so foreign, new, and you pulled away, gasping.

Rafe shushed you, reaching for you.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, a hand on the back of your neck.

He pulled you into another kiss, this one firmer, and you sharply inhaled at the way he moved his mouth against yours. His fingers massaged into the skin at the back of your neck, and you were still so in shock that you couldn’t process what this meant. However, the way he kissed you had your eyes closing, and the alcohol in your system didn’t help.

The alcohol reminded you of why you couldn’t go home and then home made you think of Pope.

You pulled away from him again, sitting up this time, and Rafe followed.

“Hey, hey,” he whispered, hands on your face as he tried to get you to look at him.

“Pope,” you breathed. “I…c-can’t…”

“It’s okay,” Rafe softly told you, leaning in and brushing his lips against yours. “You’re okay.”

He kissed you again and again, softly telling you it was okay, hands spreading along your jaw and neck. Your hands were on his arm, unsure if you wanted to push him away or not.

“Wait,” you said in between kisses, feeling like you couldn’t think straight. “I need to…”

The blond made a soothing shushing sound, lips meeting yours, one hand trailing over you now. You jerked at the feel, unintentionally pressing yourself closer to him, and he deepened the kiss. You pressed a hand to his chest, and Rafe deeply inhaled, mouth moving over yours. He was leaning in, pushing you down, and you felt weak, suddenly as drunk as you were hours ago.

You made a noise when your back met his bed, Rafe hovering over you and a knee sliding up, separating your legs. You gasped at that, the cool air hitting your core, and your other hand came up to his chest too. It made you shudder, trembling even more when one of his hands snaked its way down your body, disappearing between your thighs.

Your eyes flew open.

Your nails dug into him, fingers twisting in Rafe’s shirt as he pressed a finger to you. He was slow in circling you, so gently it was almost torturous. The sensation had you gasping, and you felt Rafe smile into the kiss. He worked that same finger into you, making you tighten your hold on his shirt, and Rafe pulled away to watch your face.

Your brows were drawn together as he fingered you, and you didn’t have time to process what was happening. One. Two. Three. At some point, he’d worked three into you, shushing you when you cried out and telling you it was okay, mentioning something about needing to be ready for him. You were so wet, wetter than you’d ever been before when it was just you alone in your bedroom.

He pressed kisses to your lips and cheeks and neck as he massaged your walls. It was nothing like you’d felt before, and your lashes fluttered when he started to kiss his way down your body. You could feel his cool breath hitting you where his fingers were, and you barely had time to lift your head and look down when his mouth was covering you completely.

The gasp you let out was loud, and you completely forgot that you weren’t the only ones in the house.

Rafe tasted you like a man starved, tongue swirling inside of you, sliding over you, flicking against you. The sound reached your ears, and it made your face burn. That dull pain you’d registered in the back of your mind was overshadowed by the sensations brought on by both his fingers and his tongue. He still licked at you, pushing a finger into you and then a second, curling them and making you arch.

Your heart was racing in your chest, and you felt so hot now. No longer warm, but hot.

Your hands found his hair, twisting and pulling, and you could feel Rafe chuckle. The sound made you jerk, throwing your head back as he sucked on you, tongue sliding into you once his fingers were gone. You hadn’t realized that your hips were moving, grinding onto his face like a possessed woman, but Rafe seemed to like it, hooking his arms around your thighs and helping anchor you.

You bit your lip, swallowing down whimpers and mewls, only heavy breaths escaping through your nose.

All too soon, it felt like, Rafe pulled away. It gave you time to collect your thoughts, and you couldn’t believe what was happening. You didn’t understand how you got here, and you shook your head, moving to sit up when Rafe rejoined you. He was naked now, and you didn’t have time to register the shock before he was slowly kissing you.

Your hands pressed into the bed to keep from being pushed back down, trying to talk to him, but his hands grabbed the end of the shirt he’d let you borrow. In yanking it, your arms fell, and you bounced on his bed as he tossed it behind him somewhere. Rafe wouldn’t stop kissing you, wouldn’t let your mind think, but you didn’t have anymore thoughts when he slowly started to dip into you.

You gasped, nails pressing into his skin as he slowly sheathed himself inside of you. Bit by bit he pushed forward, stretching you out and creating the strangest dulled burning sensation. A sharp moan escaped when he could go no further, and your chest heaved as you stared at the ceiling. Rafe lifted his head, hand coming up to wipe the beads of sweat from your forehead, and he kissed the corner of your mouth.

“You’re okay,” he assured you, shifting and pressing a hand into the bed beside your head. “I’ll take care of you.”

When he moved, you squeezed your eyes shut. It was equal parts pain and pleasure and something unknown. Rafe continuously pressed his lips to your skin, his own labored breathing in your ear. The sound fascinated you for some reason, wondering if he felt just like you felt. He stretched you and filled you in a way that almost felt wrong, too much, but every stroke stroked something in you that had you wanting him to keep going.

He kept his eyes on you, constantly watching your face and your eyes and your lips. You started to ask him why, but you thought that would be weird considering the circumstances. As you stared at him, watching him move over you, it was hitting you that you were having sex with Rafe Cameron.

You’d never given it much thought before who you would have sex with, but Rafe Cameron would’ve been nowhere near an option. He was Rafe. He was older and all the guys knew him and all the girls wanted to. He threw parties everyone wanted to go to and he always looked like nothing bothered him and he’d been nicknamed the Kook Prince of Figure 8. Rafe didn’t look at girls like you…and yet…

Here he was, having sex with a girl like you.

This wasn’t how you had predicted the night would go, at all, and truthfully, you still didn’t know how you felt about it. You were still so drunk and could hardly focus on a thing at a time, but one thing stood out above all else and it was the way Rafe was looking at you. Not how he was fucking you or touching you, but how he was looking at you.

It made you shudder, and it felt more intimate than him literally being inside of you. He wouldn’t take his blue eyes off of you, taking in your every expression and every sound you made. It was like he cared more about that than what was between your legs. He leaned a forearm against the bed beside your head, getting closer, and his chest brushed yours with every thrust.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he murmured, lips touching yours as he spoke. “You like that?”

He curved his hips into yours, making you whimper, and he smiled, teeth winking at you. Your hands came up to grasp his back, nails digging in, and his smile widened.

“There you go,” he purred, snapping into you. “Mark me up.”

You were, you realized with shock, and you didn’t mean to nor want to, but you felt so overwhelmed and needed something to grasp. Something to ground you, and a choked moan climbed out of your throat.

“Rafe,” you gasped, and he kissed you.

“You’re okay…”

Your eyes briefly closed, noting how snug he felt inside of you, and every movement against your walls had you shaking. You whined, toes curling, and Rafe’s other hand was trailing over you. He was touching you and tickling you and squeezing you, feeling you up with every thrust. His hand pressed to the small of your back, forcing your lower half up and closer.

“I wanna come inside you.”

The words reached your ears, and you knew that was bad, not ideal, but in your haze, you couldn’t care.

“I shouldn’t,” he chuckled. “…but I want to.”

Everything had happened so fast, and you couldn’t even remember if Rafe had put on a condom. You had a brief thought that you were going to be that girl tomorrow morning, disheveled and bringing a Plan B to the checkout counter. It was surreal to think about.

He pressed open mouth kisses to your neck, and you clung to him, hanging on and just losing yourself in the feel of his cock thrusting into you. Faintly, you could hear voices again down the hall, footsteps too, and you had most certainly forgotten who else was here. You couldn’t find the state of mind to focus on that either.

Rafe’s cock plunged into you over and over, and you could hear yourself mumbling incoherently. You felt so spaced out, trying to focus on so much at once, but you didn’t want to stop. You were obsessed with the feeling, your hips lifting to meet his every time, and Rafe looked down at the sight, staring at where he disappeared into you.

“Look at you,” he murmured, tongue darting out to touch his lips. “Making a mess all over me.”

It was the alcohol that had you murmuring a soft ‘sorry’, and Rafe chuckled. He kissed you again, nose brushing yours.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” he whispered. “I’ll show you how to clean it up one day.”

Rafe completely surrounded you, caging you in and jerking himself into you. His forehead touched yours, blond hair damp and hanging, and when he kissed you again, you drunkenly kissed him back.

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