#the ones that get read aloud?????
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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck the goddamn music-
I don't know the name for the technique but there's this thing that was in there that's the string players, like, tapping the instrument with the bow to create a more percussive sound and normally I wouldn't think too much of it but I swear to god it sounded like creeping spider legs. During the case set at Hill Top Road. With the very obvious references to the Buried and the Stranger and all the rest. Which dropped about a hundred Achives references including Jon's fucking name???
I have always respected the soundscaping they do at Rusty Quill but they're really going above and beyond for this show.
#i dont know if ill have any more coherent thoughts for this episode thb#my mind is just circling on 'celia knows celia KNOW tapes and manila folders??? doing her own research??? anything SPECIAL about#the ones that get read aloud?????#celia tma didnt know that much how does celia tmagp know did she talk to georgie and melanie after it all does she have news about them-#jon jon jon jon jon#lena worked for starkwell didnt she#jon-#did colin just fucking punch sam?????#j-#oh gwen you are in way over your head#dark coat does this worlds gerry work for starkwell too#celia KNOWS#JON#i hope people dont get too annoying about 'its really him' yall know it could just be an ai#SAM TALK TO CELIA ABOUT THE EMAIL FROM JON#i can send email - no shit really??'#...yeah. my brain's a mess right now#this is what i get for listening at 1am#the magnus protocol#7 give and take#tmagp spoilers#tmagp audio#my magnus protocol stuff#original post#queue cause i'll be at work when the episode airs
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at the antique centre yesterday they had written notes/stories for the teddy bears (obviously i had to get the bear in the second photo) ♡
#whoever at the antique centre did this i love you#but also my partner was reading them aloud to me and i fully almost cried at them waaaa#hence me having to get one .. he’s so cute though how could i not !!!#a
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I know you will be anxious to hear all that has happened since we parted at the railway station at Whitby.
When you know this was the last time they ever saw one another...
#dracula daily#dracula daily spoilers#mina murray#lucy westenra#i feel very sad about it and also want to read it. i wanna see beautifully sweet and horrendously ironic#lines about the future. about lucy being well again. about when they are both married how mina+arthur and lucy+jonathan will get along so#well. i wanna see a long embrace. i want to hear them say aloud how much they love one another. i want lucy to send mina on her way#with a promise she will be fine.#i want to break my heart a little more
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It's impossible to write a TOS x Any other Series crossover [for me] without having to think about whose lens it's going to primarily be from because the vibe of TOS is so distinct and I think quite different from all series that follow it. The way the characters speak and are presented is so theatrical and of course steeped in the past that I find myself considering if this is, say, Janeway meeting Kirk (through a VOY perspective) or if I should write Janeway as she would appear if she stepped through a portal and was in TOS' universe.
#finally watched enough TOS that I feel I can write some fics v_v#I hope this makes sense#it feels almost like you have to decide whether or not you're going to translate the characters#not remove them of anything (which 'no female captains' TOS would have done) - I'm talking more of a...vibe?#It feels like TOS has a very particular 'pattern of speech' so to speak that other series don't share#EX: 'And now they're making me tremble but I'm no longer afraid...I am no longer....afraid.'#This 'pattern of speech' is also why shows like S_NW who purport to take place prior to TOS and yet are so jaggedly marvel-ously (he's righ#behind me isn't he???) modern feel incongruent. As if they take place in another universe. <- Among the million other reasons#I read a post that was like 'TOS is about the 60's' and it's true - TOS is so The 60's and that doesn't mean one can't innovate and build o#it (obviously hence star trek) but if I'm going back to WRITE in the TOS-verse it feels like I need to get in that headspace a bit and#engage with it in some manner. It's also why spirk is so compelling to me AS a yearning relationship (other than my love of yearning)#a man loves a man on a starship and it's the far future and it's the 60's and they're aliens and they can't admit that love aloud#for one or many of those reasons#It's such a PARTICULAR and INTERESTING blend of the past and future#we've solved racism (in the 60's way a white man might conceptualize this) but women can't be captains#and among the millions of alien planets there is nothing more constant than a brave man loving a beautiful woman
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i got a goose tattooed on the inside of my forearm today and it was a flash piece but it's my favorite tattoo already it means everything to me i could sob
#i love geese so much and so deeply i named my dog after them#goose is my black dragon dog and my loyal faithful companion and my entire world#i just love these birds#they are so misunderstood as aggressive and scary when really they just are sensitive to spatial pressure#and they need a wider diameter than humans are often willing to give#but they are so beautiful i love their long graceful necks and how i can recognize their sounds anywhere#and that no matter where i live i see their little v's in the sky#and of course wild geese by mary oliver is one of the first poems i fell in love with#my english teacher deborah read it aloud to us in high school and it made me want to go outside and to stay alive#and when my gf and i first started dating i knew i loved her for lots of reasons but one of them was that she also loved geese#she told me she had a shared folder with her family members titled “geese i've seen” that she would put her goose photos in#so her entire family could witness them with her#i remember when i was sick with anorexia a few weeks before i was hospitalized a v of canadian geese flew over me on my way into work#and these big fluffy snowflakes were falling down and i could hear them calling#and it made my eyes well up#and i hoped they would get somewhere warm enough for winter#whether or not people have respect for them is a wonderful metric for gauging somebody's character#at the grocery store i worked at when i was 18 the only coworker i grew close to had a similar affinity for geese#she had a necklace of one#a little silver glinting goose in flight :'')#personal
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god i really wanna know How Much shadow knows about gerald's . everything. and based on that, how does he FEEL about gerald's. Everything
#in sa2 hes in a different room when rouge reads aloud the journal entries explaining gerald's madness and tampering with shadow's mind#in sa2 hes in a different room while gerald's execution gets broadcasted and theres seemingly no screens near him to see it...#but that . scene. the prison island cell and silent hill hall. thats His vision/memory. so. either he knows or saw or just needs to remember#and his reaction even now is to reach out and try to save gerald... but the question is. DOES he remember since he grips his head confused#and the sequence is out of order as he mentioned (its too soon for the gun fleet to be here)#fuck i never hit post here i sure hope i wrote all my thoughts in these tags without stopping halfway through one#speaking
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i know it's meant to be tragic and gruesome but i couldn't help but giggle at the infant and snake incident in the thebaid
that baby lying unattended in the grass for TWO BOOKS, and here comes the giant snake with blue-black eyes slithering through the grass, three sets of fangs, green venom foaming down... and unknowingly instakills the baby with a flick of its tail as it passes by?? AT LEAST BITE HIM YOU ASSHOLE
#statius is like 'i CANNOT overstate how venomous this serpent is' and then no one gets bit#also i may or may not have read those passages aloud to my ball python#his brain might be the size of a dried pea but i think it's good for him to have some literary role models y'know?#i'm telling him like hey nero if you're a good boy and keep eating maybe one day YOU'LL be big enough to encircle a temple of zeus#first impressions tag#the thebaid
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sometimes I feel like I'm not getting any smarter doing all this reading and then I watch a youtube video explaining a philosopher I haven't read but because I've read enough of the stuff they're drawing on I find myself nodding along and saying the words before they come out lol
#this one was about zizek#who i have not read because i don't have a philosophy degree lol#but the video was talking about him and it got to the negation of the negation#and i said it aloud#i was like okay i have read enough hegel quoted endlessly in certain places#and read a fuckton of marx at this point#so i can get it#(and also althusser because he's trying to develop althusser but althusser makes me tired because he makes his points so SLOW)#like he will take 50 pages to say something so short because he's trying to thorough#ugh
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sometimes the tumblr therapy-speak crowd makes it seem like in a real-life healthy relationship, you can never, ever expect anyone to anticipate your needs because that would require them to read your mind and people can’t do that, so you’ll have to talk explicitly about every single issue every single time for the rest of your life. and I don’t know, I just don’t think that’s true.
#one: the language of the body is scrambled but not silenced! if a person is being attentive they can often read it truly!#two: people can REMEMBER stuff! they can make good assumptions based on previous experience#I believe that it is possible for two people to come to KNOW one another well enough that not everything has to be said aloud!!#a person can know you’re not okay without being told! a person can remember what you need because you told them once and they paid attentio#don’t get me wrong I love a man who checks in verbally and explicitly. I love open lines of communication#but a relationship isn’t just what you speak to each other. it’s seeing each other and serving each other too#and the overemphasis on the verbal part of the relationship just strikes me as gnostic and I haaaaate that#(no hate to anybody in therapy or who works as a counselor. just hate to the tumblr culture around it)#in which cate tells stories#i will still not be elaborating at this time
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everytime I think even just a little bit that I'm starting to sort of get better at speaking aloud, somebody will say something horrible to me about my voice and ruin everything
#im so glad i don't have to speak aloud on yhe internet. i will only ever share my voice with internet people that are extremely accepting#but in real life i have no choice but to speak aloud and it is desroying me. im trying so hard to get better at speaking#i have gotten better in some areas. my pronunciation of words is better than when i was a kid i think!#thr only words i think i mispronounce often are actually sort of simple ones like 'the' or 'that'#the one thing ill never ever be able to get rid of is the stuttering#and ill never be able to change that i just . sound autistic i guess?#i dunno i get called retarded for my voice but also. i get retarded for everything i do#thank you classmates. i am going to kill myself#is anybody out there reading this? if you are are you familiar with any ways to get rid of stuttering#i have stuttered for my whole life#and i get made fun of it all the time#but when i ask how to stop nobody ever helps me#ive tried so hard to stop!! i dont wanna stutter#and also i think just the way my voice sounds and the volume which i speak at is part of the problem#again those are things i don't know how to change . i don't know#im never gonna have a voice im comfortable with huh#why am i lying in bed abd typing a tumblr vent post again im so sick of this#maybe i should just stop speaking at all#im only going to communicate through meows now#meow meow meow. meow#i can't stop thinking about my voice and how much i hate it and how much everyone else hates it. bleh#throat hurts for some reason but i dunno why#i thinj im going to avoid speaking aloud from now on because its not worth the pain#life sucks#so much. so fucking much
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grad skool is so funny bc its like.... talking to a prof ur tight with vs when ur having an email exchange on the Official University Server And Records
#Could Maybe Be Read Aloud In A Deposition For Whatever Reason Yet To Arise#dont wanna take that chance for either of us bestie im sorry#nobody gets us like we do </3#(i couldnt be bothered to actually edit a meme im real sorry for that too lmao)#like i understand that this applies to pretty much any professional setting but its different when ur closest compadres are#teeeeeechnically directly supervising u or in charge or ur grades etc etc etc#and the 'industry' (ur field of study) is like 2k people at most lmao#(and also theres this governmental witch hunt maelstrom brewing in the background that everyone is trying to ignore)#(very very minor factor but one that is never not making itself known to me) (esp interacting with undergrads oof)
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Strawberry Moon
I broke a fast on her thighs. She tasted like the night before a strawberry moon, almost full and warm – a heat that burns and cools into something bearable, almost sweet. She lulls me to sleep in a temperate voice when I feel that rest escapes my weak grasp, and I crumble between her legs in the hope that some part of me will remain, caught up in her bed. An impure slick, adulterated by my tongue, catches the light of a near-full moon, illuminating my craving, bringing light to my shameful desperation. I am bound and humbled without physical restraints, and chastened all the more with them, filth purified in her gratification until I am but a ceremonial tool in my own salvation.
#poetry#nsft writing#nsft concept#romance#intimacy#writing#I wanted to finish this and get it up last night since the night of the 21st is the strawberry moon but oh well#anyone want this one read aloud or something?
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Lord, what is it with people who claim to like classics, but hate classical languages? Specifically, but not exclusively, people who treat the reconstruction of classical languages as a worthless endeavor. Ignoring the fact that language as a spoken medium is integral to any culture, how is that not in the least bit cool to you? Why don't you want to know what Latin and Ancient Greek and Old Persian might have sounded like? You don't want to reconstruct an accurate picture of the classical world? You don't want to figure out how it all intersected?
I'm not even touching on the debate of whether these languages should be taught conversationally, or solely taught to be read (though personally, I'm in the camp of, "you will learn to sight read better if you also learn to speak.") I've encountered an outright hostility toward the idea of learning these languages from people otherwise interested in classics, and it baffles me. People studying classics at a university level who think Latin and Greek are a waste of time, and theoretical pronunciation, vernacular reconstruction, etc. are all pointless. Who claim this attitude was actually fostered by their professors.
I am um. Well. Angy.
#rant#people get so downright grumpy at the idea of learning new languages in general but they get downright hostile abt classical ones#this is directed at the upperclassmen who told me their profs said learning conversational latin was a waste#like dude idk what to tell you. the grafitti in pompeii isn't formal writing#you do have to learn the chill stuff#classroom-only latin doesn't even give you the ability to read ACTUAL INSCRIPTIONS#also my personal experience with professors has been like#“oh wait i've been pronouncing this word like modern greek. theoretical classical pronunciation is this instead. thought you should know.”#most classical works were written to be read aloud#they were written TO BE SPOKEN#agh anyway dex out#classics#classical languages
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#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it#its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul#crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to#say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to#let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to#physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill#somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes#energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating#and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make#work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics#so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while#i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation#rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all#the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals#like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too#but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them#if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she#works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology#i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying#at least i get to work with some culturs this week#unrelated
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Daily Poem 11/20/23
Silver moonlight so grand Shine on, shine-ay Swimming back to the land Shine on, shine-ay Steady prints in the sand Shine on, shine-ay Slowly waving their hand Shine on, shine-ay Maybe not what was planned Shine on, shine-ay Yet here I still am, and Shine on, shine-ay
~Swan
#daily poetry#11/20/23#poetry#ttrpg poetry#ttrpg#Flora Cetea#read aloud#Needed to record this one to get the cadence right
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I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.
Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.
Remains to be seen I guess.
#personal#so in case anyone's still wondering i'm studying to become a tutor/instructor/guidance counselor etc. etc. whatever it's called in english#and currently i mostly work with immigrants with language. sometimes i help high school students as well. but mostly immigrants#and there's this one immigrant student who's been there since last spring. and he still barely even knows the basics because he's 'given up#according to him that is. he told me this at least three times yesterday and i told him that's a problem#so i've been trying to hammer it through his head that he can't be sitting in classes and using his phone when he's supposed to be learning#or expect me or teachers giving him all the answers when he also needs to show a little effort and help us back as well#and that he needs to participate in pair and group activities in classes because we're a team and we need to work together#so basically he's been asking me to either teach him or then find someone who can teach him#i told one of our teachers this and she answered that he could also participate in evening activities at the college but he's not doing tha#and according to him he doesn't 'mingle'. so i told him maybe he should once in a while. get out of his comfort zone. at least try#to my surprise he actually showed up to one of the evening activities that i hosted. didn't do much anything there but sit but still#that was effort. he did exactly what i said despite it making him a little uncomfortable so that's improvement#so then yesterday he asked me about teaching him the language again. i told him i host a homework club at tuesdays & thursdays @ 3:30-4:30p#he showed up there yesterday and was the only student. so i had time to teach him basic greetings. weekdays. months. things he shoulda know#and i thought it's all probably in vain but i tried. so today. he was in their class and actually doing pair work and reading stuff aloud#and even translating some stuff when i asked. calling it easy. and that he's trying to use his phone less and memorize this stuff instead#to which the rest clapped at and cheered him on for. and i told this to the teacher afterwards when she asked me about him. and she gave#me a thumbs up and looked a little surprised but also delighted. because he's been a popular subject amongst ourselves for a reason#so i don't want to get too optimistic about it. because he still has an attitude problem. but he's tried a little at least. so there's hope
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