#lines about the future. about lucy being well again. about when they are both married how mina+arthur and lucy+jonathan will get along so

[vickyvicarious]

I know you will be anxious to hear all that has happened since we parted at the railway station at Whitby.

When you know this was the last time they ever saw one another...

[johanna-swann]

You know, sometimes I think we as a fandom completely misjudge Buck when it comes to romantic things. In fanon he's often depicted as this clueless guy who needs to be hit in the face with a pick-up line before he notices someone's advances, but then again he's a really thoughtful and attentive partner who talks about his own feelings freely once he gets into a relationship. And then I look at canon Buck and like. Yeah, no, this is not that.

Buck is really good at picking up on sexual / romantic tension. He flirts constantly and recognises when his flirting is reciprocated. That's how he landed the snake-lady in 1x01, it's how he knew Abby was down for phone sex (or at least wouldn't dump him over bringing it up), it's how he got with Taylor, etc. Buck is good at the flirting part. The only reason he was so awkward around Tommy was that for the first time ever the target of his advances was a man.

He's terrible at gauging where his (more serious) relationships are at though. I doubt that Abby ever thought she'd be with Buck forever. She cared about him, sure, but let's be realistic. I don't think she saw a future where she'd eventually marry him and settle down with him. Buck on the other hand was full on in love with her, waited months and months for her to come back even after she broke off contact. And the hot air balloon ride was a huge gesture, but did he think it through? What if there had been an emergency with Abby's mother while they were up in the air instead of immediately before?

With Taylor I don't think he had any idea where that was going. They were attracted to each other, they had a lot in common and they both really wanted to make it work, but in the end they just weren't compatible. He was really bad at communicating with her, first invited her to that weird double date with Veronica and Albert without being up-front, then the thing with Lucy. And in the end they broke up over something he knew about her all along. He knew Taylor wanted to use the material from when Bobby was high on the gifted brownies back in the day, how was he surprised that this same basic conflict became an issue again?

And Natalia. He had coffee with her once and suddenly "she really [saw him]". Then he turned around and broke up with her because she talked too much the one topic over which they bonded in the first place. Death is her job. You having died is what got the two of you talking. You valued her insight on the topic at some point even. But then you act like it's an annoying hobby she won't stop talking about?

The same with Tommy. How did Buck spend 6 months dating that man - knowing from very early on that the man had issues, that he grew up in a regressive environment, served in the military as well as under Gerrard, came out rather late in life (only a few years ago), doesn't have much family - and then just jump the whole "move in with me, we can get married one day, we can spend the rest of our lives together" on Tommy instead of sitting down and having an open conversation about the future without any heavy expectations? How does he not know a single detail about Tommy's coming out story, about his exes, about what he wants out of this relationship?

Honestly. Buck means well, but he never thinks things through and is kind of a disaster when it comes to actually dating the partner he finds. It's like he's not dating the person, he's dating for the sake of dating.

[confused-bi-queer]

what are your top three songs you associate w malmage?

I could go into heavy detail, AND I WILL, I will go into heavy detail.

Thank you Valen for the ask, I screamed when I saw it. Without further ado, here:

"Saturno" (Saturn) by Pablo Alborán.

I'm Mexican, so I hear music in Spanish, and this song I knew it first because it's a meme. The most known phrase/verse of this one is "en saturno, viven los hijos que nunca tuvimos" which translates to "in saturn live the children we never had" and it just breaks me in million pieces because that song, that verse is my version of MalMage.

I started writing them in my head since May 2022, so I've had moments to rot and rave about MalMage, and I have a headcanon that the moment Davy lost every coherence/logic of what's truly "good" was when Lucy died. I truly believe he lost his humanity there, or at least the most important one. My headcanon includes Davy not giving up Simon immediately, maybe a week or two after he was born, and during those days, Malcolm was the one helping. Therefore, there's this teeny tiny chance that Malcolm "raised" Simon, making him his "child", and that thought didn't make me feel better at all.

Along with this train of thought, I believe Malcolm couldn't stay with Davy after he accidentally killed Natasha, since he met Daphne afterwards. But, at some point, after Baz and Simon started studying at Watford, I think they got together and discussed how they would have liked having them together. Because when they were young, during their Watford years, they agreed they didn't picture themselves being parents unless it was with each other.

So, this song makes me think of the family and future MalMage could have had if it wasn't for their ambitions or politics or the path the WoM built for them (yes, I imply both Simon and Baz could have been theirs, AGH). And there's another verse saying "yo no quería amarte, tú me enseñaste a odiarte" which reads "i didn't want to love you, you taught me to hate you", which is marvelous because it sums up Malcolm and Davy separately so well. Malcolm not wanting to fall in love because of the expectations put onto him of marrying into a rich woman and have kids with her, and Davy being so strong minded that love isn't enough when it comes to his ideas/reforms, but both of them being so obsessed and sick for each other that they can't help themselves and keep coming back to the other.

I feel very strongly about this song. I cried listening to it. Several times. Thinking about MalMage.

"Illicit affairs" from Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift writes a concerning amount of fanfic songs...

A while ago (like a year and a half), I wrote the scene where Davy learns Malcolm got Natasha pregnant! It was a heavy scene with lots of angst. I published it, actually. Here.

But why I relate the song is because it's about an affair, and there's this line that goes "tell your friends you're out for a run, you'll be flushed when you return", implying illicit activities in sexual regards. And the first time I head that verse, I YELLED. Because in that draft of the scene I wrote, in the fanfic, there's this line:

I get dressed in sportive clothing, so when Natasha comes back from Watford, I tell her about the new workout I found to explain why my heart is beating fast and my flared-up cheeks.

And I couldn't believe my ears! It was almost exactly the same, and I adopted the song for MalMage. The whole song screams desperately "MalMage". The "clandestine meetings and longing stares", the "language you know I can't speak with anyone else" and the "for you I would ruin myself a million little times". Because the song screams their relationship from Malcolm's perspective (again) as a victim, but as something he keeps choosing for himself. And it's longing, and hurting, and so much sincere love that he has for Davy even when he knows his darkest weaknesses.

Malcolm as a character as well is intriguing to me because in canon he's distant, depressed, and self-contained, but I love watching him ruined, yearning and in his knees for Davy, because it's who he is, it's how he loves Davy and only him in this violent way.

"Piano Man" by Billy Joel

When I started reading SnowBaz fanfiction, I started to listen to Elton John because of a smut fic from my goddess Aralias that made a reference to "Your Song". So I remember studying for my exams listening to Elton John music and thinking about SnowBaz. So I explored Billy Joel as well because they give me the same vibes and I like listening to music because of the vibes.

This song didn't make sense to me until I was listening to it post-MalMage insanity and I heard "he's talking to Davy who's still in the navy, and probably will be for life", and it clicked. It clicked so good. Because my perception of Davy is his grandpa, his favorite one, having gone to war, and the eternal fight Davy has against everyone. And I lost my mind. Every time I hear that verse, I think of Davy and therefore of MalMage. And I like "sing us a song, you're the piano man" because I like picturing Davy telling the world/universe to write him and Malcolm a love song that ends well, that works in their favor.

I like thinking of this song as if it was from Davy's perspective, but also from an outsider. I have no idea what the song really means or what it says, but I like thinking of it like it's a narrator telling a story, which is their love for each other.

Regarding music, I hear the same 20 songs when I write or think about my favorite ship, and I love exploring MalMage and Davy through the eyes of Malcolm because I love watching Davy through the eyes of someone who loves him deeply and sincerely. I don't like saying "Fuck the Mage" anymore because I intend on exploring "Love The Mage", so the majority of the songs I listen to or I relate to MalMage are from Malcolm's perspective. However, I like it when I find lyrics from Davy's perspective.

These are my tops 3, but I want to make a special mention to these:

"O Children" by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. (It's the Harry Potter song when they're preparing for war, and I just think of MalMage being so young and having the world against them.)

"champagne problems" by Taylor Swift. (MalMage from Davy's perspective; truly horrific and sad.)

"cowboy like me" by Taylor Swift, again. (I misheard the lyrics and thought it said "you're a coward like me", and I think of them being scared of their feelings so much they cower from it.)

[elsecrytt]

ELSEY YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME

Elsey listen it's 2 am i need to sleep but your addition to that Dia post KEEPING ME AWAKE

How does it feel to have such a big brain huh? You're amazing please keep ranting about whatever because i will eat this shit up

Oh, also you dropped this 👑

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thank youuuuuu~ It's so sweet that you enjoy my Takes sfgkhhfgd and it's super encouraging to know that you get something out of them, hehe,,, it's always just.

So fun to see ppl who get similar vibes from the characters, sharing their own views and reasons for that,,, it's lovely to hear from you and Erin, and I'm glad y'all like hearing from me, too~

I've had this whole. Theory of Diavolo post floating in my head for ages but I haven't gotten around to it until now bc it requires a lot of. Screenshot editing,,,,

Now Presenting:

Diavolo - Truth and Lies

Spoilers for:

The Escorts (Memory SR, Chapter M, Luci and Satan on it) Devilgram

The Glory Days (Lucifer Chapter A UR) Devilgram

Main story up through Lesson 16

So basically:

Diavolo has the ability to tell lies - this is confirmed in several places in canon.

My personal headcanon/theory is that this isn't Diavolo being a people person (although he probably is, to some extent). This isn't even a special ability Diavolo has, either as a demon, or as a future Demon King.

I think this is a curse. Specifically, I think this is a curse that Diavolo asked a witch to place on him, and the caveat of this curse is that Diavolo cannot tell a lie.

It's totally possible there are instances of this being blown out of the water in canon but Diavolo is usually pretty diplomatic in his denials and avoids telling direct lies so just stay with me for a moment. I HAVE SCREENSHOTS!!

The first question of course is. "Who would have put a curse like this on him, Elsey? He's the Demon Prince. He's ridiculously powerful, what kind of witch could even do that? Even Solomon might not be able to."

We do know a witch who might have done it! A witch who would have been powerful enough, and who has a pretty interesting relationship with Diavolo: Maddi!

Maddi is acknowledged, by Satan, Lucifer, and Diavolo, to be extremely powerful. Literally Lucifer is going "When someone radiates power like she did..." Lucifer!

The really interesting bit is later on - that Maddi refused to return to the human world until Dia married her, and it was really long ago.

It sounds like, in return for casting this curse on Dia, Maddi wanted his hand in marriage. It'd explain both her entitlement, and the reason Diavolo had a hard time turning her down - because she did him a favor!

And also why Diavolo is pimping out Satan and Lucifer not to see her again lmaoooo. This, I daresay, is why Diavolo doesn't like her - it's not necessarily a reasonable request she's making, but she also did something for him that literally no one else could have done.

Plus she's supposedly smoking hot and if she likes Luci and Satan, her taste in men is absolutely fine. Listen Diavolo I'll take one for the team and marry her myself -

Anyways. Second point here - this happened "a really long time ago". This is a point in favor of my theory, because Diavolo has been asserting that he is honest/never lies for a very long time indeed:

This is a MEGA long time ago - before Lucifer fell from heaven, even.

Now ofc Diavolo doesn't outright say it's a curse (and I doubt this theory is something the devs intended), but it does sound like Diavolo is leaning on the "honest" thing pretty heavily, no?

(Bonus points: In his recently-released character songs, one of Diavolo's lines is actually - "I have nothing to hide/I am always honest")

Consider also the fact that if this is true, it goes a good way to explain how Diavolo is getting along with Lucifer so well, and pressing the point of peace even though Lucifer quite clearly looks down on demons as an archangel.

See, Lucifer actually tells a couple of blatant lies during this visit:

If Diavolo has this ability to know for certain when someone is lying, then he knows Lucifer doesn't hate him/the Devildom as much as he said (and Lucifer's dad hung him out to dry on the speech thing lmaooo)

Now, on to what I consider the most damning piece of evidence - we have the actual statement in Lesson 4 during Levi's TSL quiz, that Diavolo can tell when someone is lying

Diavolo was brought in to judge this event, too - almost certainly because he has this ability. "You know as well as I do" - this is something all the brothers, and possibly the demon populace as a whole, know about Diavolo.

Levi later does concede that he lost; he believes Diavolo's ability, and implicitly, believes that Diavolo isn't lying about it. But canonically, this is our confirmation that Diavolo can tell when someone is lying, possibly as some supernatural "ability".

The real proof comes in lesson 16. Belphie, at this point, absolutely despises both humankind - and naturally, the suggestion that Lilith became human - and Diavolo. That's important. He HATES Diavolo and Diavolo's ideas.

If you chose to tell him "I'm sorry you found out this way", he goes on to mope a bit until his brothers encourage him.

But what if you choose to say "You really won't believe it?"

Belphie insists he won't believe it. He could never believe it. And honestly this makes a lot of sense, and feels like the natural reaction he'd have to such an unforeseen revalation.

And then Diavolo says "It's the truth". Diavolo, who Belphie hates. What reason does Belphegor possible have to -

Aaaaaand he believes him. Just like that. Now, I'm gonna be real, I'm not super impressed with how the writers handled this plot twist, especially in light of the aftermath. HOWEVER.

It's still fucking weird that Belphie just accepts Diavolo's word so easily, accepts the entire story and spins right into repentance and blaming himself for Lilith's death...

...unless. Diavolo is magically incapable of lying. Perhaps because he's been cursed?

The brothers all know about Maddi (it's in the escorts mission). They very probably would all know why Diavolo doesn't get along with her, but still has to accommodate her when she visits. It would make sense for Belphie to know about this, actually.

Annnnnyyways that's my favorite pet Diavolo theory that's been rattling around in my head for a while. It's by no means canon or confirmed (canon seems to forget about Diavolo's ability to tell when someone is lying on the regular, anyways), but my god, is it interesting.

Diavolo being a living lie detector and unable to lie makes him an invaluable plot device, a useful tool to a resourceful enough MC, and even as cursed as the theory suggests, if you remember a little oneshot I wrote called "Heartache".

It is just. hnnng. Absolutely delicious. I love the idea so much and wish there were more of it in canon... but hey. That's what fics are for ;)

[oingo233]

Rapture is a Boy (5)

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior?  And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader (Neutral)

Warning: angst, cuss words, self-doubt and self-hate, mention of cheating, lotsss of angst in this one, maybe even more than before. 

Authors Note: Now, this chapter is a bit on the longer side but it is my favorite one so far.  We get POV’s from Remus, you, and Sirius(excuse how much there is of Sirius, it’s not entirely intentional he just owns my heart), each filled with ANGST.  And the lack of communication and the full throttle of angst is almost painful, but oh so juicy.  I hope you all enjoy it, only a couple parts left, or one, until the end yall!  I love you so much!  Sirius POV in italics. 

Word Count: 3k

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

                                                  Part Five

                                        ****Letters To My Love****

Remus POV

Breakfast was over by the time Remus made it back to his dorm, but he didn’t leave to go to 1st period.  Because on the endless and lonely walk back, his mind began to spin.  He knew he wasn’t a cheat, but he was a liar.  He lied to you about his being a werewolf for years because he was petrified of what you’d think of him when you found out.  That you’d stop seeing his scars as beautiful stories but rather the makings of a monster. 

 He was more of a beast than he was a man, and for one night each month, a beast was all he became.  How could you love him knowing that? Remus had yet to stop pacing the length of the boys dorm, ignoring the way little sticky notes on the walls with prank ideas came twirling down with every gust of wind Remus’s sharp turns created. He was a storm.

He repeated this thought for the better part of 1st period.  How could you love him?  You won’t love him, he tells himself, you never will, Lucy said it herself, he was just a disturbing truth. The thoughts made his stomach lurch.  You will never love him again.  These horrible, tantalizing thoughts were accompanied by beautiful moving pictures on his wall, which his eyes darted to every second despite how miserable they made him.  

One picture was a large polaroid of the two of you laying on the common room floor, while your friends are all laughing around you, your arm was wrapped securely around his shoulders and he is laying his head on your chest.  He was fast asleep, but a ghost of a smile was painted on his lips, your head was leaned back in laughter.  While the picture moves, you only seem to laugh harder and Remus shook, his smile growing ever larger as he awoke to the sound of pure joy.

You will never love him again. With that heavy thought, and another glance at the picture he rushes to the bathroom, just in time to find the toilet, as he vomits into it.  Utterly sick and riddled with anxiety and self-hate, but so much anger filled him.  Why did Lucy have to ruin everything?  Why did you have to leave him?  Why did he have to be such a fucking monster? Why’d he have such god awful luck!

Sirius finds him in the bathroom, sobbing for not the first time that morning nor the last. Sirius rushed over to him, patting his back as he choked up extra pieces of last nights dinner. Sirius forgetting to retrieve his class book he forgot this morning, and was excused from class to quickly get.  Herbology can wait, Sirius wasn’t going to spend his future with plants anyway.

“Remus, what’s wrong?  What can I do?” Sirius knew it was about you, but why was he so sick?  Little did Sirius know, that love and heartbreak is both the enlighting of the heart, and the sickness that plagues so many.  

Remus was not immune to such poison, his strength lies elsewhere, it lies in the mornings after full moons and the steadiness of his hands before.  It lies in his courage, in his determination and empathy.  It lies in his silver tongue, but his strength does not belong to his heart because he gave his heart to you so long ago.  And perhaps you gave him the greatest strength of all, love. Love, love, love, you gave it all to him and more.  Now he was left empty and he felt it now in his stomach as much as he did in his heart.

“I am alone Sirius.  I was alone in the room, then I saw our picture, (y/n) was laughing.” His voice cracked, fighting a sob. “They are the most lovely thing I’ve ever seen Pads...Pads do you think I told em’ that enough?  That I love them?” Remus then turned to Sirius with the most gut dropping look of remorse, with a breath to match.  Sirius nodded fervently, not sure how else to comfort a person in such a state. He rubbed circles on his back and reached for a tissue. 

“Yes Moony, we all heard you say it a million times.  But...Moony it isn’t over.  Lucy lied to them, if you are honest -and I mean fully honest about everything- you two will be one again. Practically married again.  So, gather yourself Moony.  I will wait with you till the bell rings, yeah?” Sirius hands Remus the tissue and smiles down at him, trying his best to be encouraging Remus knew, it was the same smile Sirius gives him after hard full moons and the whole lot of them want to stay in bed.  

But it did not work, Remus’s whole body sank into the floor as he wiped at his mouth.  Sighing at the mess he was, flushing the toilet he stands.  

“No. I can’t tell them-”

“Remus-”

“No!  Leave it alone Sirius, you don’t understand.  (y/n) deserves better than...than this this thing that I am, and will always be.  This monster.” Remus throws the tissue down and storms out of the bathroom, back into the expanse of their room and now flouncing his arms around as he speaks.  Voice thick with emotions.  “Do you think they’ll still love me after they know the truth?” He sneers, almost laughing humorlessly to himself.  Sirius stared at him in horror, still in the doorway of the bathroom.

“They’ll leave me Sirius, I would lose them twice.  Twice!  No,” Remus shakes his head, “Better I let them go now, I’d rather not go through this whole ordeal twice.” He motions to his vomit lined collar and messy locks.  “Better (y/n) hates me for a lie, than the truth.”  And that was the end of it.  Remus turned his back on Sirius and began to pull clothes from his drawers, deciding that it would be best to go to second period.  If he was to get over you, he must start soon.

Sirius was left speechless.  Remus was angry, that was clear to see but he was often the only one who could get himself out of these ruts of self-hate.  Him and you of course.  So Sirius got his almost twice forgotten book and left.  Before he left the room completely he turned in the doorway to say something to Remus, but he only watched as Remus softly tore the photos of you off of his wall, Sirius shut his mouth and left.

Your POV

The bell to second period rang through loud and clear, yet it wasn’t until the movements of the students around me, rushing to be free from History of Magic, that I began to move myself.  Even then my movements were slow, sluggish and reflected the droopy feeling of my heart hanging loose in my chest.  Like a portrait hanging sideways on one of the hallways, knocked loose by a groping couple, but my heart was knocked loose my the image of Lucy and Remus I’ve spun up in my head.  Oh, I can just picture them together, so clearly.  

His large hands roaming the plains of her back after making love, tracing words mindlessly as he has once done to me.  His lips glued sleepily into the crook of her neck, as they cuddled after a long school day...just as he once did to me.  It’s only been a day but my fingers are twitching to cling onto his and never let go.  To hug and grip him, and my lips...well they tingle at just the thought of his kiss.  My whole body abuzz with the idea of Remus, it has not yet caught up with my head, it does not yet seem to realize that Remus is no longer ours to hold and feel.  He is no longer mine.

I finish packing all of my belongings into my satchel and hug it to myself instead of around my shoulder and waist like I usually have it. I thought this class would be much harder than it was, considering it is the only one I have with Remus today, but he never even showed.  Coward, the bitter side of me thought, fucking coward.  But I nonetheless picked out double the pages of parchment, and never once raised my head from the block of wood that is my desk.  I was too focused on taking double the notes, both just copies of one another.

Now, as I walk out the door, not missing the way our professor seemed to pity the sullen look on my usual bright face, my only thought is on finding Sirius.  Things have been tense between me and all The Marauders, but I like to think Sirius and I, though on very tense terms since our fight, are more amiable than James or Peter and I.  

I was knocked off focus, and quite literally, by a blushing first year girl. “M’ sorry,” She mumbles, looking up at me like a scared mouse.  I quickly glance up just in time to catch the retreating figure of a running Lucy, knocking even more people along the way. 

 “S’ alright, wasn’t you,” I smile sweetly at her and that seems to calm her nerves, she walks off with a little smile.  But I was left with a rather large frown, was Lucy off to see her boyfriend, Remus? Is that what they are now?  The thought made me sick, and the words made me even sicker.  But there was little time to dwell when in the dwindling crowd I caught sight of a tall man with the messiest bun I have ever seen.  Yet, Sirius pulled it off, I almost wanted to roll my eyes, he can pull many hairstyles off (many of which, I myself can not).

“Sirius!”  I call, flapping a stack of paper in the air while trying to make my way through the crowd and towards him.  He tells some friends of his from 1st period to go ahead, and waits for me with a tight smile.

“(y/n),” He greets, rather stiff.  As if this whole thing was my fault, and we didn’t just have our whole friendship break through last night.

Sirius was staring down at you, soaking in the sadness of your eyes and the exhaustion shown through crinkles on your forehead.  He took quick notice of the wrinkles in your outfit, and the totally clashing colors of the clothes underneath your robes.  He wanted to frown, usually your outfits are well put together.  But then again, Remus stormed off in his pajamas this morning, guess heartbreak makes you do even crazier things than love itself. But either way, Sirius felt awful after your argument last night and was having a rather difficult time expressing his emotions, so instead of apologizing like he knew he should, your presence just made him feel uncomfortable.  A reminder of how he failed both his mates when it came to this whole breaking up thing.  He regard the stack of papers with a raised brow.

I shove the papers into his chest, he cups them stiffly with one hand, peering down at them quickly and titling his head down at me in a frown.

“(y/n)...” He starts, but I cut him off.

“Before you start Sirius, you should know that Remus missed a very important class this morning,” I say, rocking on my heels and oddly nervous.  A person can only take so much rejection and emotion in one day.

“But...why?  If you think he cheated on you, I mean,” Sirius uncomfortably held the papers, waiting for me to respond.  But I drew up blanks, why did I write him notes?  Why did I go through the trouble of writing till my hand ached and protested?  Was it because I still loved him? Yes, but also it was the way I dreamt last night of our first kiss and then the way he stumbled up the stairs with James, crying.  It was guilt.  But then I was angry, fuck this, I think, he doesn’t deserve to pass History, prat should re-take the whole boring class ten-fold!

“Nevermind Pads, just give them back,” I growl, tearing the papers from his hands and nearly ripping them.  But then the wind seemed to remind me of how it is the season of the N.E.W.T.S and Remus so long ago said that maybe History of Magic will aide him in his test.  I growl again and shove the papers back into a surprised, and quite frankly annoyed Sirius.  His chest was really starting to hurt.

“No, you must take them.  Give them to him...” I can’t bring myself to look at Sirius, oh what he must think of me.  Such a silly girl to tend to Remus after all that he has done to me.

Sirius glanced down at the papers, your handwriting clear as day and neat.  You clearly tried to make it easy to read, and the notes were well taken, informative.  He looked between you and the papers and fought a smile.  Even a blind fool could see how much you still adored Remus, but then he thought back to the conversation he had with Remus this morning. His heart overcame with something that felt all too much like real, physical pain.  Sirius hands began to shake, how could Remus let you go. You’re one of the best things that happened him. Then another thought occurred to him, how was Remus to get out of the dorm again, or even smile again after reading your notes?  It would break his heart all over again.

Sirius shook his head at me, placing the papers into my hand and ignoring the dumbfounded look on my face. “Merlin (y/n), are you trying to bloody kill him?” He says, addressing my notes and the sweetness behind the gesture.  Perhaps it was too soon.  But I was prepared.

“Oh, shove off it Sirius.  My name isn’t even on the parchment, he won’t know it’s from me.  Just say ya got a friend to take ‘em for him, yeah?” Sirius still looked uncomfortable by the matter.  I cut him off before he even began, I could see him thinking.  “Don’t want him failing N.E.W.T.S do ya?”  Sirius takes a deep breath and tucks his lips in a disapproving frown wordlessly taking the papers and stuffing them in his bag.

“ave’ a good one!”  He calls over his shoulder, almost wincing as he spoke, it was second nature to call such a thing in parting with a friend, but he was unsure of your friendship at the moment, and it was quite clear you weren’t going to have a good day.  He turned to you with a tight smile, and loosened up at your own large smile.  You finding the situation with an almost bitter sense of humor but humor nonetheless, he thinks to himself “good lad.”

The both of you part ways, reminiscing on easier times and missing them dearly.

Remus POV

Remus sat in his bed to study, which none of the boys do because they’ll fall asleep, and they usually did it together on the floor in a heap of papers, books, and spilled ink.  But tonight Remus grew rather somber as Sirius handed him a collection of notes from 1st period.  “aye, a friend wrote em’ for you.  N.E.W.T.S comin’ up n all.” Sirius muttered, slowly placing them atop Remus’s chest, not looking him in the eye. Remus sat up in his bed to examine the papers, his hands shaking and crinkly the edge.  He knew.

He quickly grabbed his parchment, and book, quill and ink before closing his bed curtains.  He then proceeded to cuss and scream(more of a groan) under his breath.  Of course he knew the notes were from you, it was silly of you to assume he wouldn’t.  He long ago memorized every curve and line in your handwriting.  Why did you have to care about him still? Why did you have to be so sweet and perfect?  His heart wanted to run away to you, but he tried to focus on other things.  But his mind went back to you once again, like a broken record.  He remembers all the letters you’d write him, all the things you’d say.

He first memorized your handwriting over the summer after first year.  He got several letters from James and Sirius, one or two from Peter, and one every 2 weeks from you.  You adored hand written letters, and so he came to love them too.  Then again 2nd year, then 3rd and 4th your owl came to his window time and time again, always sent off with a letter of his own writing.  But 5th year, the year you two started dating, your friendly letters changed to love letters and it was those ones he clipped to his wall or kept in a special drawer, never throwing out one.

On particularly difficult nights, like ones before and after a full moon, when his body was drained and he was desperate for the warmth of friends and the dull ache to leave his body, he would pull out the letters his friends wrote him and read them.  Then he’d pull out every love later you sent him and read it.  He’d walk over to his bed and re-read them a million times, relaxing into his comforter and sighing with the memories of you that overcame him with each word like tidal waves. He’d hug them to his chest, then pull the next one out to read, all with the softest smile.

His pain long forgotten, he’d fall into a peaceful slumber with parchment and letter sprawled all around him.  All greeted with...

My love,

And all signed with...

All my love to you,

(y/n)

Remus traced over your handwriting and hugged the notes under his chin and deep into his chest.  As if they would become apart of him, and in that way you will always be with him.  But you were, you were everything to him. I won’t part from my love, he thinks, my love is apart of me. 

He decided then, that he would do anything in this world to win your affection back.  He would bare his soul naked to you, just for the word “love” to slip from your lips and into his being.  He was no longer afraid of your rejection, he just craved the chance to see what you would do, of what good could come from his truth unfolding itself before you. He craved your acceptance of all that he was, and above all he craved for you to love him once again.

Taglist:

@crazylokonugget     @beyondprincess     @1975weasley    @nicodoesntexist  @goto-hi-this-is-my-brain    @yoyoitsbella    @ftwert   @sognatrice-as-a-hobby   @dontjudgemyobsessionpls   @blackpinkdolan​    @holdenviolet​  @katie-lupin05

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Chain of Iron theories: the adopted baby

Here is another hot discussion topic in the fandom. CC has hinted that their will be a special baby, and that they will need to be adopted. So Questions, who is giving a baby up and why? I am assuming that this is a Shadowhunter baby. I cannot see either Hypatia Vex or Kellington who party, operate a secret saloon, and take pleasure in seducing interesting artistic individuals deciding to devote themselves to parenthood. Woosley Scott is set to show up, but their is no way he wants to adopt. Every other downworlder has appeared in the future and never made reference to having raised a baby. So which shadowhunters in this series of so many parents, children, and would be couples are looking to adopt? We know that shadowhunters adoption program isn’t perfect; Ariadne being adopted by an elderly white couple who know nothing about Indian culture and Tatiana somehow being allowed to adopt Grace despite the fact that she is aggressive, clearly insane, and famously unable to care for the one child she gave birth to. But I want to hold on to hope that whoever this little baby is their story will end happily with being given a nice home and family. My Theories

Anna and Ariadne  adopt Eugenia’s baby. (retracted)

  This was my original theory. In COG2 we learnt that Eugenia temporarily left home because of some scandal no one really wants to talk about. It apparently involved her and some guy being caught in a “compromising position” after which said guy could have saved things by asking to marry her but did not? ??? This led many people to believe she and this guy had been immanent and that she might now be pregnant., but unable to raise the baby on her own. So she would give it up for adoption. Eugenia’s older sister Barbara had an understanding with a very nice gentleman named Oliver and kept trying to get Oliver to purpose. I wondered if maybe a reason Barbara was in such a rush to marry is she was hoping for her and Oliver to adopt Eugenia’s baby and pass them off as theirs. Now that both Barbara and Oliver are sadly deceased Eugenia would need to look into finding new  parents to take he unborn child. Well spoilers relating to Eugenia state that despite having different interests and hobbies, she and Anna get along well. She also is set to become friends with Ariadne. Ariadne who really wanted to be a mom. So I thought that if Eugenia was pregnant and looking to give her child up for adoption then maybe she would ask Anna and Ariadne to adopt her baby. That had the potential to be sweet.

  But we have gotten more information now, and surprise surprise, people jumped the gun to quick on what happened with Eugenia. While we still do not know what the scandal was, it is hinted to have been way less extreme/serious than premarital intimacy, and she is very unlikely to be pregnant. I am now hoping that her ex got into a fight with some other guy, she stepped in to hit the other guy with a parasol, and her ex got embarrassed about having to be saved by her and broke up with her. Something that shows the guy was a real loser.

Elias puts Baby Carstairs up for adoption

  In COG2 we got a huge surprise that Sona was pregnant with her third child, unexpected as the family tree only lists her and Elias as having two children. Well actually actually the Carstairs family line is tree has parts of it that “Were lost to time”. So something clearly happened. Jem was clearly hiding something.

   This pregnancy was clearly unplanned and does present some worry’s. For starters Sona is well past the age where it easier/safest for women to give have children. She was already starting to have a difficult time with it during COG2 when she finally confessed to Cordelia that she was about 3 months along. This means that she will be about 7 months along (almost ready to give birth) when we pick up again in COI. Well in the early chapter read Alastair said that his mother has been put on Bed rest with her husband staying by her side and silent brothers monitoring her. This does not sound good. Several people have theorized that even with the brothers help, she will not make it through childbirth. Now lets talk about the babies father Elias Carstairs. Elias Carstairs is even older than his wife. He spent his youth traveling the world (I read a tweet that said he has even gone between dimensions before) leading special expeditions and hunting rare and powerful demons. This sounds grand, but it was a grueling life that left him physically and emotionally scared. Tragically the Clave does not recognize mental health as a need, so they do not provide any kind of therapy or treatment for those who become traumatized. Like many poor soldiers throughout American history Elias was there for the Clave when they needed his help but it that help was not reciprocated at the end. The only comfort he found was at the bottom of the bottle. It took Elias until he was already in his 40′s to start a family, and he has struggled with being able to take care of himself enough to act as a father to the two children he and Sona have already raised. Elias is 63. He is sad and tired, and struggling to keep a handle on his sobriety. This child was unplanned. I have read tweets that show he is at least trying to support Sona, but CC reveals he is questioning if or if not he can really do this a third time. If Sona dies there is no way Elias can raise this child himself. I won’t fault him if he makes that choice, it might be the most loving thing he can do.

   Who would adopt the little guy. Well the most common theory is that Alastair and Thomas would become his new dads. Now the family tree does suggest that both Alastair and Thomas are dads in the future. It also doesn’t list the names of either of their spouses (I am guessing neither had wives) so their is nothing to suggest that they do not live together raising a group of adopted children. Given the way the Cave feels about homosexual parents that could also be why Jem “lost” the records. I will not deny Thomstair becoming adopted parents is plausible, but I am not completely sure that baby Carstaris is who they will adopt. Babies are hard, they are a lot of work, and I am not convinced either Alastair or Thomas will be up to it. Look at Alastair. He is not exactly in a good place at the start of COI, and whenever fans ask CC if Alastair will make any friends she always reply that he won’t until he learns how to speak nicely to people and to be there for them when they need him. Honestly that is a thing he struggles with. He obviously loves Cordelia, but he totally pulled an  Queen Elsa on her where he shut the door and shut her out for roughly 7 years of their lives, leaving her as alone as Anna was. He claims to have loved Charles but the pair spend most of COG arguing because Alastair wants Charles to spend all his time with him and Charles is struggling to balance his promotion, his public reputation, and Alastair (Important I am not saying it was wrong for Alastair to be upset about Charles engagements or to break up with him. I am just saying it seems like Charles did try to see Alastair as much as he could, and Alastair trying to pin all his emotional needs on one person, who already had so much going on, was unfair). On Thomas side well lets just say he has a lot of mixed up and complicated feeling of his own he needs to work out before he will be able to be in a healthy relationship let alone raise a child.

  If Thomstair aren’t able to take care of Baby Carstairs I bet I know a long time married, long time Carstairs loving couple, who would be happy to take the little guy in and have enough resources, experience, and love to give him a great life. Hey in the future Tessa says she has kept watch over three families: the Herondales, the Carstairs, and the Blackthorns. The Herondales and the Blackthorns are her and Will’s grandchildren. If she were watching the Carstairs because they were once her friends wouldn’t she also watch out for the Fairchilds and Lightwoods?

Blackthorn Babies with Mundane and Shadowhunter mommies and daddies

  (Okay this is one will involve some hopping around and several references to the family tree, so stay with me people, stay with me.) We aleady know Jem made some changes to this line. Lucie is not 12, she is 16. Tatiana is probably not going to live another 15 years. Also the tree said that Jesse dies 59, yet he actually died at 17. But future wife Lucie wants to resurrect him... which is highly illegal and should she be successful she will probably face terrible repercussions. Jesse also might not be able to live as a shadowhunter after being brought back. So even if we don’t want it, for the sake of this theory lets assume that upon Jesse’s resurrection both he and Lucie are banished and become a mundane pianist and writer. Let’s assume they also get married and have children. In order for the TDA Blackthorns to be shadowhunters at least one of Jucie’s kids would have to become a shadowhunter and move to the shadow world. I feel like Luce and Jesse would be willing to let their kids go in that case. That was all Jesse wanted growing up and Lucie is Will’s daughter. The children would just need someone they could stay with.

  Now lets hop to the Lightwood family line. According to the tree Christopher and Grace get married (Grace is also listed as a Cartwright so was her adoption overturned and she rejoined her bio family?) and continue the Lightwood line down to TMI. Grace and Christopher are set up to bond  (over science) and many fans are willing to believe that they are an endgame ship. But fans are also doubting that they are the ancestors of the TMI lightwoods.  For one thing Christopher is heavily coded to be asexual; and Grace herself seems to have a very.... twisted and warped view of physical acts. So now lets say Grace is somehow saved from punishment over Jesse’s resurrection or because of her past trauma is given a lighter sentence. Lets say Gracetopher really do get married. if they got married they probably will apt out of having children; at least biological children.

   Christopher has a younger brother , Alexander Lightwood, who seems like a much more likely candidate to continue his family line. Alex has been noted to have those dark blue eyes that while once a Herondale trait later become a Lightwood trait. He shares a first name one of TMI’s most prominent characters, and that is just about the only way baby Alex could have relevance to the story given that he is way to young to help out in the war. If Alexander Lightwood the first is one who carried on the Lightwood line why are his descendants listed under his brother and sister in laws names?

   Well way back before the CC launched TLH I remember her posting a tweet that said Grace could become an ancestor of either the Herondale or the Blackthorn line. This upset a lot of people who thought that it meant that Grace may have a baby with either James or Jesse. (No, just NO!!!) But what if instead of Grace having a baby with Jesse, She and Christopher adopt one of Jesse and Lucie’s babies so that that baby could be raised as a shadowhunter? I could see Grace and Christopher doing do: they each love one of the respective parents and are set get to know the other. The only good thing about Tatiana adopting Grace was she got Jesse as a brother. Should she ever recover from having Tatiana as an adoptive mother I could see her becoming very critical of other adoptions and refusing to allow Jesse’s children to potentially end up like she did. I am in love with a head cannon I have that Christopher will become a science professor at the academy. If Lucie and Jesse have to leave the shadow world, and they have to give up their children then I want to imagine that child living in Malec’s future academy suit with Shadowhunter mommy and daddy Gracetopher while they secretly get gifts and send letters to their mundane mommy and daddy Juice. (It is the least CC can do for the pain reading about that potential exile would cause me.)

[minmin-of-kit]

Can’t stop, won’t stop writing - Jordelia fanfic coming thruuuu

Chain of Iron hangover is very real, thank you very much!

Disclaimers: Chain of Iron Spoilers, Rated M (read at your own risk)

The sound of the clattering of silverware against the glass plates became annoying. Their chewing has somehow become louder on every bite. One was intently looking at her food, while the other can’t seem to leave his deep gold eyes on the other.  

Cordelia was determined to focus on her food. Her eyes down and direct on her plate while her chin parallel to her straight spine. She contemplated on whether she can endure more of the loud clattering and chewing. Holding tightly on her knife and fork, she sighed deeply her eyes closing.  

“Please stop that.” Cordelia said to James, trying her best to control her temper.  

Even with her eyes closed she can feel the corner of mouth raising slightly before responding. “Are you talking to me now?” said James. She opened her eyes, looking at him. He had his hands resting on the table calmly, but his shoulder betrayed to show any calmness at all.

“Yes, it appears to me that you are the only one I am with in this room. Why? Are you seeing a ghost here that I am not seeing?” She tried with a bit of humor as the atmosphere in the room was palpable. She tried not to quake under the intense gaze of her husband.  

“Daisy, you avoided me all day. I just wanted to... You know that we need to talk. Right?”  

Yes, the talk. The dreaded talk. But what did James want her to tell him? He has explained to her, Lucie, and along with the Merry Thieves about Grace and the bracelet she has given to him. He told them that for almost 4 years, he has been tied and manipulated to believe that he was in love with Grace. 

While all she wanted to do was to hold him. Hold his hand, and tell him that everything will be all right, and that she will be right by his side. She cannot bring herself to. A shameful thought went into her head, relieved that the declarations were not true, that everything was but a curse. She was relieved and a bit hopeful, but a flash of realization dawned on her that it was a bad thing that have happened to James. That she had no right to be happy on that fact as she herself is tying James as well. Tying them into a ruse due to their sense of honor. So, what is she supposed to say to him now?  

“Daisy.” She was taken aback on the tone of his voice. Did she hear it correctly? Was he begging?

“Of course. What would you like to talk about?” She gave in removing her clutch on the utensils and placing them on her plate.

“About us. About how I really feel. About the truth. Even with the bracelet with me, I felt it. That is what led for the bracelet to be broken.” said James.  

She remembered the broken halves of the jewelry in the hearth of their drawing room. She blushed remembering what they were doing before that happened. Still somehow, she is unable to grasp what James was trying to say. She knew that something between them was ignited. Living in close quarters and all, but that was the only time that the both of them have went beyond of anything that they have done before. Was that what James was talking about?

“Daisy what I truly felt for you was hidden inside me all along. It -”

“Are you two having tea as well?” Effie announced all of a sudden in the room.  

“Can I have a moment with my wife please!” said James furiously.  

Effie with her eyes wide, shot her hands up in the air as she left the dining room  

“James? Whatever was that for?” said Cordelia.  

“I just... I just wanted to tell you this for a long time. You were gone and it drove me crazy not being able to tell you that I love you. For the longest time. It was you. The moment that damned bracelet was off, all I can think about is you. In my arms and in my future.”

This confused her. Her heart beating wildly on her chest. Absentmindedly she reached for the glass of water and drank everything on it. She thought it would help but it definitely did not. Her chest is hurting, her mind racing. She might have a headache.  

“Daisy? You look pale.”

“I don’t understand. I...” she stopped. She was on the verge of breaking down. She can feel it. Abruptly she stood. She refuses to be seen like that.  

Her feet and her heart were ready to drag her away, to hide away in her room. To run. Again. She was tired. It was painfully tiresome now. This front that she is showing. She knew how she felt, she knew what she has launched herself into. This she did not know. This she did not know would hurt so much. For almost half a year she made herself believe that James did not love her, that he will never love her. She has accepted declarations after declarations of James’ love towards Grace. Over the course that they were married hope blooms in and out of her heart, just to be shattered on the next opportunity. She did not want to feel that pain anymore.

Despite her resistance, a single tear managed to drop from her eye. Then came a stream.  

“Oh no. I am so sorry.” James worriedly said. He stood up on his way to her, reaching for her hand, but the moment he grasped her, she quickly drew it away. No, she can’t take it. Her heart can’t take any more of this.

She looked at him, seeing deep lines of worry and pain visible all through out his face. Surprised, as she has never seen him this transparent before.

Next thing she knew she ran out racing to the stairs, wiping her tear stained cheeks on her way.  

“Daisy, stop. Where are you going?” she heard James, as she was halfway up the stairs.

She did not stop. She refuses to be seen like this.  

She was about to open the door to her room when he finally caught up with her. He pulled her to face him.

“What do you expect from me, James? By telling me that what are you expecting? I have… I have loved you. I cannot stop loving you even if I have led myself to believe that you will never do. Every single time that I slip up and expect something else from you I just get pain, and I don’t want to hurt anymore James. I don’t know how to stop hurting.”

She was looking intently on the rising and falling of James’ chest now. She cannot get herself to look at his face, not when she just spilled everything to him.  

His hand loosened its grip on hers, moving it towards her chin, raising her face to meet his. His thumb, wiped the tears that have pooled on her jaw.  

“I am terribly sorry my love, I didn’t know. I... tell me. Please tell me what I can do.” said James.

There is just one thing that she wanted to do. What she wanted the moment she saw him after weeks of being away from Paris. What she wanted the moment they stepped on 48 Curzon street after they were married. One thing in this entire world that she has always wanted.

“Kiss Me. I want you to-” but she was not able to finish talking, all of a sudden, his lips came down crashing on hers. Wave after wave of emotion came down on them. Her arms on his shoulders, her hand on his hair, that every time she combed her hands through it, a moan escape.

His hand on her nape, fingers inching higher to her head. The other hand on her hips, clutching the material of her dress.  

She had to move closer. She had to feel him, all of him.  

“I am yours Daisy. I am yours from now on. Will you have me?” said James against her mouth. She reached to his lips covering it with hers again before answering.

“Yes.” She said intoxicatingly. “And I yours.”

He led her inside her room without letting go of her. His feet reached out to close the door behind them. Holding her face on both of his hands, a kiss on her forehead, on her nose, then said.  

“I have found you now, and I will never let you go.” then continued to kiss her with fervor and want. Ignited and all consuming. Her heart leaps as his lips trails kisses on the side of her jaw to the base of her throat, it’s making her head spin. He continued south on to the top of her breasts. Eliciting a moan out of her.

“James.” she gasped.

He looked up at her, eyes burning with desire and determination. “Would you like me to stop?” He asked, almost a whisper.

“No. Don’t stop” said Cordelia, as she moved a strand of hair out of his face. He held on to that hand and kissed the bottom of her palm.  

He stood up straight, looking intently on to her eyes, as he removed his jacket. Cordelia joined him, helping to remove the clothing out of him. Once it was on the floor, James grabbed on to her face, kissing her deeply once more, as Cordelia splayed her fingers on his chest, feeling the wild beating of his heart. Feeling the warm and taut muscles and skin beneath his shirt. It was inadequate she thought, she needed to feel him, so she started to unbutton his shirt one by one, until there was none. She opened his shirt, revealing James’ torso, grazing his chest to his shoulders, letting the shirt fall on to his arms and on to the floor.  

James was walking backwards leading her to the edge of her bed, where he sat down. Holding her waist, he pulled her down to sit on his waist, where she gladly obliged.  

“Are you sure about this?” He asked.  

“I have never been this sure in my entire life. My heart is yours James Herondale, so is my body and soul. Own it.” said Cordelia.  

“As you wish, Cordelia Herondale.” said James, smiling, as his hands made its way to her back to unbutton her dress.  

Once all has been unbuttoned, they let it pool on her waist, leaving her in corset and chemise.  

James kissed her collarbone, her neck, then her lips. “You are so beautiful, so bright, and so unbelievable.”

Cordelia smiled adoringly on her husband. Taking in the sight of him. James was already working to loosen her corset, and when he has done so, he removed it over her head along with her chemise, now there were only space in between them.  

James turned and brought her with him, making her lie on the bed and him on top of her. Her skin tingles as she felt his skin against hers, as he kissed her breasts, and as he took a nipple in his mouth. The bottom of her stomach was in disarray. Confused by what she is truly feeling as she is feeling everything at once. Excitement, nervousness, passion, love.  

He had his hands under her knees, then up her legs, until he reached the top of stockings, just over her exposed skin. His fingers trailing upwards, it’s making her dizzy.

She moans, encouraging him to go higher, and when he found her, she gasped for air. His calloused hand bringing electricity to her body, her hips arching towards him, begging.

“James, I want you now.” said Cordelia.

He kissed her once more on the lips before kneeling on top of her on the bed, removing his belt, then pulling his trousers down.  

“My love, it will hurt for a moment.” said James as he wedges himself between her thighs, feeling him, warm and ready.

“It’s worth it.” she smiled.

James went to kiss her again with a smile on his lips. “I love you, Daisy.” then thrusted himself on to her.  

Her response was lost in the gasps that followed. They left everything in the moment and got lost in each other’s arms. She was his and he was hers. Now made true more than ever.

I’m... yep. Dunno how to explain myself but yep. 

Please tell me what yah think about it. :) 

The fluffy continuation is here

Thank you so much for reading this mess. 

[utterlyinevitable]

Can you do a headcanon for Ethan and mc breaking up

after writing this i realize it seems excessive and that ethan and becca are so toxic for the amount of times they’ve broken up (well she’s broken up with him). i hc that after the memorial, ethan will let her set the pace and he will never ever let her go again. so that’s why becca’s doing the majority of the severing. she’s scared he’s going to pull away at a given moment, and all the things he’s previously said about a domestic, nuclear life start to haunt her. she loves ethan but she also doesn’t want to change him just to get her way. 

Ethan x Becca Breaking Up 

The First (Unofficial) Time 

The first time Ethan and Becca broke up was when they seemingly just started. 

And, no. It wasn’t when he disappeared to the Amazon. According to Ethan, they “both knew what this was” and that they couldn’t be together because of work - it was imperative. He crushed any notion of them being further entangled before his Great Sabbatical. 

As much as Becca wanted to believe him - as much as she wanted to file him in the back of her mind as a one night stand, she just couldn’t. She’d fallen hard for him and every moment they spent together meant something. 

She was heartbroken when he left without a trace. 

The First (Recognized) Time

They broke up for real only a few months after the Hopeful Hearts Gala and a short time before Valentine’s Day. 

Becca was convinced he didn’t see them together long term and decided to cut her losses. 

They were at his condo eating takeout on his couch when she broached the subject of applying to transfer her residency to other hospitals. 

“Don’t base your decisions on me. Your career is more important.”  “I based all my decisions on you. I’m only a doctor and at Edenbrook because of you.”  “I’m not going to make the decision for you, Rebecca.”  “I don’t want you to! I want to know where we’re at.”  “We’re dating, I thought that was obvious.”  “Will we keep dating if I’m on the other side of the country? Are we gonna do long distance? Are you gonna follow me?” “My life is here. My Dad is here.”

She retorted that her family is on the east coast too, and that she understands he wants to be close to his father. 

They bickered back and forth. 

“What’re we doing Ethan?” she asked exasperated. 

It hung in cold silence. 

Ethan just looked at her. 

Eventually he spoke; “What do you want from me?” “I want…” She looked at him. 

Really looked at the man sitting before her and the way his arms were folded across his chest. The way his blue eyes were a darker shade. The way he felt cold sitting there across from her. 

So she made the decision for them; “Never mind,” she shook her head as she stood.   “Where are you going?”  She threw the overnight bag she’d packed earlier to keep at his over her shoulder, “Home.”  Ethan stood, reaching out for her but she was just a bit too far away; “Don’t -”  Turning her back on him she simply shrugged, “I need to finish my applications.” 

That was the last time she was in his apartment for months to come. 

He sent a gift to her apartment for Valentine’s Day. She sent a simple “thank you” text the next day.  

They were estranged and she ignored him for a few weeks.    

The Second Time 

Was a mix of personal and work-related factors, months after Bloom took control of Edenbrook. 

Dr. Mendoza was a new addition to the diagnostics team, transferring from Mass Kenmore. He was a vile stickler. 

While most people knew of Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Lao’s history, it was kept under wraps. They were two of the brightest doctor’s and they managed to keep a very fine balance between their working relationship and their private one. 

Mendoza saw Becca as a challenge. He fell to the belief that she slept her way into her job and used her wiles to get Bloom to buyout the hospital. He figured he’d try her on for size. 

Mendoza was honing in on Becca. She was uncomfortable and tried to brush it off. But she couldn’t... one day he stepped over a line. 

Ethan was pissed - he was going to kill Mendoza. He was going to fire him and punch him in the face. But Becca wouldn’t let him. 

After talking him down they agreed she would bring the sexual harassment case to HR. 

Oh how that backfired. 

HR researched Mendoza and Ethan’s conduct regarding Becca. Mendoza brought Ethan down with him. 

Ethan and Becca fought about claims and outcomes and he said some things he didn’t mean. Some things along the lines of: “I knew this was going to happen. This is the exact thing I was protecting you from. Every reason why we shouldn’t be together just came to fruition.”  

The couple had to take some time apart while claims were investigated but they weren’t broken up.

Ethan was cleared and Mendoza got a slap on the wrist. 

But that wasn’t the biggest obstacle they faced that year. 

Even after the case was dismissed by HR the breakup still happened.

Becca was closing in on her final year of residency and weighing all her offers. 

Just like the year before, Ethan wouldn’t acknowledge that she could end up anywhere else. He didn’t want to influence her decision or her career more than he already has. 

And if she asked, of course he would give her a permanent position on the team. 

But he had no idea what was going on in that brilliantly befuddled mind of hers. 

She was going mad at his lack of commitments. At his lack of “I love you’s” and promises of a future. 

Ethan and Becca had been doing this dance for nearly three years and he still hadn’t said it. And Rebecca Lao refused to say it first.  

So she broke up with him, right before he planned to ask her to move in. 

The break up only lasted a day. They made up in his office and she moved in shortly after. 

The Next Time (based on Stuck)

Becca still didn’t really believe Ethan could commit to her in all the ways she wanted. She didn’t believe he could give her the family and life she always craved. 

They had a fight. 

She used her fall back to run away. 

And when she came back to the apartment to pack up her things she saw Ethan sitting on the sofa, waiting for her. 

She didn’t expect to see him home this early in the afternoon. 

They exchanged awkward words and she fled to the bedroom to quickly pack up her things. 

Ethan followed. 

He stood in the doorway and begged not to fight anymore. He begged her to stay. 

She yelled, she said all that she was afraid of. All that she knew he wasn’t in the business of giving. 

She tried to leave.

But he caught her at the door. 

He bent to her level and begged her one more time. Told her he wanted everything with her. 

Ethan held her, kissed her exposed skin and rooted them both to their apartment, carried her back to their bed. 

The Last Time 

Planning a wedding was expensive. 

Weddings also came with so many expectations. Never would Ethan have expected that he and Becca would fall victim to crowd pleasing. 

It was all too much for him. 

And one day Ethan snapped. 

She was sitting at the dining table with their two wedding planners and binder rattling off a bunch of things that need to be done and chosen when he snapped; “I can’t do this, Rebecca. It’s too much.” “Can’t do what?” she half-asked, attention on what she was writing and not the terror in his tone. “This. All of it.” 

The conversation escalated from there. 

“Well if you didn’t want a wedding, why’d you even ask?”  “I want you, not all this shit.”  “This is part of it! You can’t keep running away when things get hard, Ethan!” 

He was red with rage. 

He wasn’t the one that kept on leaving once they started actually dating. So he made some digs about all the times she’s left him because she was scared. And that now he’s given her everything and why can’t she just listen and see things from his side. 

He needed a breather so he left. 

Becca threw the books, scattering them around the kitchen before the sobs took over. 

40-minutes later Ethan returned home. He found his fiancée curled atop the covers of their bed, her back to him.

They said nothing.  

He moved wordlessly to the back of the storage closet. 

Then a flash of pink fell at her feet. 

Ethan threw a duffle bag at her;  “Pack a bag.”  “What -” 

She sat up and skeptically watched him as he packed. 

First into the bag was his tux followed by enough clothes for two days. 

When he was done haphazardly throwing essential items in his bag, he looked over to where she hadn’t moved with arms folded across her chest.

“Hurry up,” he commanded. “We need to get to New York by 1pm if we plan on getting married tomorrow.” 

Becca’s jaw dropped. She was stunned. 

Yet she was glowing. 

And the shit-eating, megawatt smile on his face was infectious.  

________________________________________

Masterlist

Perma:

@rookiemarsswiftie @lucy-268 8 @binny1985 @thegreentwin @queencarb @danijimenezv @starrystarrytrouble @terrm9 @interobanginyourmom @adrex04 @maurine07 @mercury84choices @schnitzelbutterfingers @theeccentricbibliophile @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @kaavyaethanramsey @mvalentine @rookie-ramsey @drariellevalentine @lifeaskim @otherworldlypresents ts @therookie @aylaramseycarrera @angela8754 @fireycookie @stateofgracious

Ethan:

@udishaman @honeyandsunfl0wers @hutchereverlark23 @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @blossomanarchy @claredal424 @caseyvalentineramsey @rookieoh @openheartthot @senseofduties @lilyvalentine @tsrookie @kalogh @aworldoffandoms @takemyopenheart @casey-v @ramseyandrys @peaceinmidstofchaos

[fangirlyah]

✦ the future ahead - Edmund Pevensie x Reader

summary: where you both think about the future but neither says anything. without communication anything can go wrong

warnings: none

word count: 1,784

even though you saw the birds fly and the scent of freshly baked bread wafting from the bakeries around you, on that winter afternoon, nothing compared to narnia. a feeling of nostalgia hit your thoughts and almost threw you off track. even though you were with edmund and lucy, the need to return to the great kingdom would come from time to time.

they had said goodbye to narnia a year ago and the kingdom had not yet requested you three, so edmund and lucy were still stranded at their uncles' house. you visited them almost every weekend and this was no exception.

“we are going to look for the vegetables, y/n. edmund, you go for the dairy” the pevensie’s aunt had been more than clear on what they should buy in the village store, so they couldn't go wrong. edmund went to look for the products while you and lucy went looking for the rest.

while you finished parking the bike, you waited for edmund's kiss on your cheek, as he always did before going somewhere without you, but it never came. he just turned around and went on his way.

"ed is been acting so weird" you and the youngest of the pevensies walked side by side until you reached the queue of people outside the grocery store, your topic of conversation was your boyfriend.

"I have noticed, since the other night he is distant" his sister said looking at you sideways. you didn't know what had gone wrong that night, because according to your memory it had been a common friday night dinner with his uncles. it was not the first time you had eaten with his uncles and his cousin, who he despised so much, and he had never behaved like this before.

"I want to think that spending so much time with eustace has affected him, because as far as I remember nothing went wrong at dinner" while you took out the list of vegetables that should be bought from your coat, you saw lucy's look and you knew that she knew something else.

"it's edmund, you know that expressing his feelings is not his strong suit"

"I know but ... we have been together for three years, I believed that hidden feelings were something of the past" it was hard not to grieve. your boyfriend had been ignoring you for two days and you couldn't find the reason inside your head.

you did the shopping almost automatically while you were thinking of thousands of things, one of them being the fact that, perhaps, edmund wanted to end your relationship. when you became aware that edmund was likely to want to break up with you, instead of going back to the bikes with the commander, you wanted to run away and cry in your bed. you thought what could you have done wrong?

"where is edmund?" lucy looked around for her brother, stopping only to observe a couple in the distance. they looked in love and lucy thought what she should do to have a boy so in love with her, as she saw her brother with you or the unknown boy from the warehouse.

a long line of men came out of a room; you knew that inside the place, there wasn't anyone selling the dairy products that he had been asked for, so it was rare that he was there. but his sister and you decided to look, just in case.

your suspicions were correct because when you two entered the venue, edmund was first in line, talking to a man sitting behind a table. at first you didn't understand what he was doing there, but when you saw the poster hanging on the table, you understood.

‘military enlistment row. no studies required '

ed had never mentioned he wanted to enlist and that worried your heart a little more than before. since when did he hide so much from you?

"edmund! you should be helping out with the groceries! " lucy called him from the entrance making your boyfriend turn angrily looking for the voice. there he saw you with a pained face and, for a moment, his stress and worry disappeared. he knew that he should give some explanations later, which would mean talking to you and facing seeing you in the face.

without whispering a word, the three left the room in search of the bicycles, ignoring the jeers of the other men trying to enlist, who were old enough.

"since when have you been interested in the army, edmund?" his sister spoke questioning him. even though he hadn't spoken to you, when he left the place he was waiting to hear your voice scolding him, that way he would know that you still cared. instead, lucy accused him while being distracted by the previous couple.

“I have fought battles and wars in narnia, I am the best sword fighter in all the kingdom! I need that adrenaline again” you didn't even look at him, rather you were making sure that all the food ordered was already bought and well placed on the bike to avoid accidents.

"ee are no longer in narnia, ed!"

the return was silent. a silence that everyone needed before reaching the house and being attacked by eustace even for breathing. the pevensie’s cousin was not mean to you, on the contrary he treated you better than his relatives but, as time passed, he began to gain confidence and now he made some acid remarks against you that were stopped by edmund.

the house was silent, so you assumed that the family had gone out for their monday walk and you thanked for the moment of calm.

"someone at home?!" the kitchen was empty, as well as the living room; so they gently turned on the radio and began to sort the newly bought groceries into the cupboards and refrigerator. edmund had not managed to buy everything that had been asked, so lucy had to go looking for them, insulting her brother on the way to the front door. edmund had probably seen the poster and immediately went to sign up, although the fact that he had a false identification meant that he had already thought about it before; long enough to come up with a plan and steal his aunt’s papers.

"why didn't you tell me you wanted to join the english army?" you turned around from where you were standing, with your back to the counter, watching your boyfriend take food out of paper bags. he did not look at you nor did he answer you, he only raised his shoulders as a sign that he did not know or did not care “do you really want to get out of here? I know you want to go back to narnia and everything, but...the army is dangerous, you would be years out of the country and no magical lion will come to your rescue if they throw a bomb on you"

"there is nothing here that stops me from going" edmund was being cold on purpose, he wanted to hurt you like you had hurt him a few nights ago.

"are you talking seriously?" your voice dropped noticeably and your eyes watered, especially when you saw how he raised his shoulders again. “can you at least tell me what I did wrong? because you have treated me like garbage since the other night and I have kept awake trying to understand where I screwed up but... believe me I can't figure it out” you were hurt and edmund hated being the cause of that pain.

his voice never left his throat, leaving you standing in front of him like a fool. when two minutes had passed and he was still looking at the bag in front of him without a word, you put down the can of tuna that you were holding and went to the stairs. you wanted to hide in the bedroom you shared with lucy during your stay and cry, he didn't want you there so when you could calm down, you would pack your suitcase and go back to finchley.

when you were stepping on the last step before reaching the second floor a voice distracted you.

"you said you didn't want to marry me!" you turned your body and saw him on the first step looking at you with tears in his eyes.

"what?" your mind presented you with a vague memory and you understood where the question was coming from.

"you were in the kitchen with my aunt, helping her with the dirty dishes ... and ... and you said you didn't want to marry me!" your feet went down two steps, getting closer but still very far.

"I never said that" you two had never talked about marriage, but the fact that you had been together for three years and you were close to reaching adulthood; marriage wasn't a crazy thought anymore 

"yes you did, don't lie to me!" you went down two more steps.

"I said ... I wasn't thinking of getting married now" a silence filled the room for a few seconds while your boyfriend lowered his head

"so ... do you think about marriage? ... I mean our marriage? ... for the future of course!" you finished going down the steps that remained reaching his height, to gently take his cheeks and raise his eyes to you.

"edmund ... you are the love of life, don't you think I think of a future for us?" you said sweetly as your eyes watered and you wiped away his tears.

"you do?" his arms wrapped around you leaving your faces even closer.

"I don't know what's ahead, but ... I know I want, whatever it is, to face it with you ... it's just that we're seventeen years old, ed...we have a lot of time to find out where the wedding will be” your last sentence caused a giggle from him.

"sorry for ignoring you, it's just that ... I got scared, because... I always think about a future with you and I thought ... maybe, you don't"

“in a few years when you put a ring on my finger, you will remember this weekend and think: I was a little fool"

with that phrase you sealed your lips in a sweet kiss, that moved to the beat of the radio song that sounded far away.

and as you said, it was. because seven years later, when edmund saw you running through the park with your child, he looked at your left hand adorned with the ring that had cost him so much to buy and smiled. you were right.

[chilling-seavey]

Lucy's pregnancy scare ~T

I’m so surprised no one has asked about this since it was in Lucy’s character profile from sooo long ago but, finally, here we go 😂😶🥰

Lucy was sure she was royally fucked. In all senses of the word.

She stood in front of her bathroom mirror and stared down at her phone screen on the counter, the app open and reflecting the large bold font spelling out ‘2 weeks late’ in red. Angry, scary red. She was freshly eighteen, had a scholarship to CCPA lined up, a promising future, and she was late.

Of course, being the youngest, her sisters were long moved out which left Lucy all alone to stew on this information all morning, locked in her room. She had to confide in someone but deciding who was the issue. Every adult in her life had pros and cons when it came to sharing secrets and Lucy was debating just not telling anyone at all.

Pregnant was such a scary word.

Lucy was the drama queen of her sisters but when it came to the possibility of becoming a teenager mother, any girl would start to go a little insane with worry. She stood in front of her full length mirror and turned to the side and lifted up the bottom of her shirt to try to see if there was any sort of bump. The small, miniscule curve under her hand had her gasping.  

She yanked her shirt back down and flopped backwards onto the end of her bed with a huff, emotional tears welling in her eyes. What was she supposed to do? One night and it was just her luck that she was met with this.

Lucy clutched her hands together over her chest, “God, I am sorry I sinned. I should have begged on my knees for your forgiveness as soon as I possibly could but I didn’t and now you’re spiting me, I know it. I am so terribly sorry. I will never ever do such a terribly horrible awful disgusting thing until I am married if you please just give me my period right now.”

She paused.

“Please? Right now.”

Another pause.

Nothing.

“Fuck.” Lucy sighed, dropping her palms over her face. She quickly pressed them together again, “Sorry for cursing.”

She drummed her fingers together lightly, her eyes still closed in thought of what she needed or should do next, “Now, dear, sweet, glorious and good, Heavenly Father, I just need you to bring me even a sliver of salvation because I know my dad is going to absolutely murder me.”

Lucy tiptoed down the hallway and peeked around the doorway into the main area of the apartment where Florence was making lunch.

“Good morning, Lucy Lu.” Florence smiled over at her daughter. “You slept in today.”

“Yeah.” Lucy mumbled, sitting herself at the breakfast bar. Her mother didn’t know she had been up since 7, gong crazy in her own mind. “Where’s Daddy?”

“At work.”

“Right.” Lucy said with a sigh.

Florence sit over a sandwich to her and then sat beside her with her own.

“I’m not very hungry right now.” Lucy mumbled, pushing the plate away so she could slouch her head into her folded arms on the countertop.

“Are you feeling okay?” Florence ran her hand over her daughter’s back.

Lucy shook her head, “I feel so sick.”

It wasn’t a lie. She truly felt like she might completely vomit. Pregnancy or nerves? She wasn’t sure.

“Why don’t you go lay down and I can make you some tea?” Florence offered.

Lucy shook her head again. She couldn’t keep stewing on this…it would completely drive her insane.

“I need to talk to you and Daddy.” Lucy sat up again, glancing over at her mother with a pout.

“He won’t be home until 5 but I’m here.” Florence said softly, petting back her daughter’s long blonde hair. “What’s going on?”

Lucy slouched back onto the counter with a groan, “I want him home now.”

She was draped so dramatically over the counter she nearly looked deathly ill or acting as such and her solemn face had Florence worried, “Talk to me in the meantime and he can catch up-”

“Mommy, I need to call him.” Lucy said strongly.

Daniel would always drop anything for his girls and when his youngest called him at work with her voice wavering and asking for him to come home, you best bet he clocked out early and headed right for his car. With no sort of hint as to why Lucy needed him home so desperately – just her rehashing that was important – Daniel was stuck in his mind the whole way home. But his worst idea of the drive seemed to have been a reality as Lucy sat both her parents in the living room, barely giving Daniel a second to put his bag down, before she was ripping off the band aid.

“I’m pregnant.”

Not even a ‘hello’ or a ‘thanks for dropping everything to come home’, simply, getting to the point. Silence fell over the apartment. Daniel and Florence stared at their daughter blankly for a moment. Two moments. Three.

“I think.” Lucy added softly.

“You think or you know?” Florence asked gently, having been through the same thing once before at her very same age.

Lucy, looked to her mother with tears in her eyes, “I’m two weeks late.”

Daniel opened his mouth to say something but closed it again and let out a very long breath, holding his face in his hands with his elbows on his knees. He made some sort of weird noise – somewhere between a groan and a whimper that did not sound human in the slightest – and then stood right back up and walked down the hallway, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

Lucy gasped lightly, watching the empty hallway where her father had disappeared down, and her eyes filled with tears. She let out a small sob and hid her face in her hands.

“Hey, hey. Come here.” Florence reached for her hand and led her over to the couch, sitting her down and wrapped her arms securely around her daughter. “It’s alright, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.”

“Daddy hates me!” Lucy cried, tears pouring down her cheeks.

“Oh my gosh, he does not hate you.” Florence tisked, wiping her thumb over her daughter’s cheeks to rid her tears. “He just needs some time to wrap his head around this, we all do. But you know how he is.”

Lucy leaned into her mother’s side and cried loudly, “I’m so scared!”

“I know, sweet girl. I know you are.” Florence sighed, holding her close and pressing comforting kisses to her head. “I know exactly how you feel.”

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” Lucy finally asked.

“What would getting mad do for us? It won’t change anything.” Florence said.

“Daddy’s mad.” Lucy argued softly.

“No…I think you just scared him a little.” Florence chuckled lightly, rubbing her hand over her daughter’s back.

Both women watched the hallway as if expecting him to return but he didn’t. Lucy sighed heavily, resting her head on her mother’s shoulder, finding the usual comfort that came with her embrace. They waited a few long seconds in silence.

“Have you taken a test?” Florence finally asked.

Lucy shook her head.

“So we don’t know for sure.”

“But…look.” Lucy flopped back against the couch and lifted up the bottom of her shirt. “You can see it.”

“You won’t be able to see anything for at least six weeks.” Florence chuckled. “You’re just the same as you were.”

Lucy huffed and tugged her shirt back down. She stared blankly at the ceiling.

“I’m going to go talk to your father.” Florence said and stood up from the couch. “Are you okay here for a moment?”

Lucy nodded through her pout.

Florence left her with a kiss to her head before making her way down the hallway to the master bedroom at the end. Daniel was sat on the end of the bed, elbows on his knees and face in his hands, unmoving.

Florence closed the door behind her and walked over to join him. He didn’t look up.

“I failed as a father.” he mumbled.

“Oh Lord, Daniel James.” Florence sighed, “You did not.”

“She…” Daniel looked over at his wife, his own tears grazing his blue eyes. He took a second to try and steady his breathing, and continued in a whisper, “She had sex.”

“Yeah, Dani. That’s how it works.” Florence said.

“Bleh!” Daniel shuttered, scrunching up his face in disgust. “That’s horrible.”

“You did too. That’s how we made her.” Florence gestured towards the general direction of the living room.

“Yeah but…she’s my baby.” Daniel retorted through a small sniffle. He bowed his head again as he tried to compose himself. “My baby girl is having a baby. She…she had sex and she’s having a baby.”

“Okay stop saying that because now you’re grossing me out.” Florence said.

“I hate her stupid boyfriend.”

“I know you do. I’m not too crazy about him either.”

“He reminds me of Matt.”

Florence paused a moment to think about it, “Shit…you’re right.”

“He’s a jerk and selfish and ill-mannered and makes terrible decisions and…he got our baby girl pregnant.” Daniel groaned, dropping his face back into his hands.

“God, she’s more like me every day.” Florence sighed. “In all the worst ways too. Just my luck. You didn’t fail as a father; I failed as a mother.”

That seemed to switch something inside of Daniel as he turned to glance over at his wife, her own chin in her hands. He took a deep breath and stood up, situating himself right in front of her.

“No. No way. She’s got the best of you Flora. All the best of you. But she has something you didn’t; she has parents who actually give a shit. Or at least it seemed when now instead of being out there and holding her and comforting her through this we’re in here moping like we’re the children.”

Daniel walked off before Florence could answer and she watched him walk into their ensuite bathroom. There was a sound of a bit of a commotion and she stood up to stand in the doorway, watching him shuffle through the cabinet under one of the sinks. He sat back with a pregnancy test box in hand and an uncertain expression on his face. Leaving the other things thrown over the floor, Daniel stood up again. Florence followed him back down the hallway to the living room, where Lucy was curled up on the couch with her knees to her chest and her fingernail in her mouth; anxiously impatient.

With her parents back in the room, she stood up quickly, “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

She glanced at the box in her father’s hand.

“What’s that?”

Daniel held it out to her, and she hesitantly took it.

“You’re going to take that and we’re going to all look at it together, okay?”

Lucy glanced back up at her parents, looking between them with uneasiness spread all over her face. She was waiting for the yelling, for the obvious disappointment, but Daniel only stepped closer and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Go on.” he whispered, gesturing her down the hall.

Lucy got herself in the bathroom and Daniel and Florence waited right outside, hand in hand. The apartment was silent. It seemed to be taking her a while but Daniel didn’t dare rush her, simply staring at the ceiling and clutching onto his wife’s hand. The seconds ticked by into minutes.

“How long does it take to pee?” Daniel mumbled anxiously under his breath and stepped away from Florence to knock on the door. “Lucy? Are you okay in there?”

There was shuffling from the other side and then the door opened. Lucy was red-eyed and crying but held the taken test out to her father. Only a single pink line was shown. Not pregnant.

“Oh fuck.” Daniel exhaled deeply, passing it to Florence before scooping his daughter right into his arms. Lucy clung onto him tightly, sobbing her tears of relief into his neck. Daniel cried right along with her, silent thankful tears that were mixed in with a bit of sad as he realized that day that his girls were truly all grown up.

“I’m sorry!” Lucy wailed. “I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t apologize.” Daniel leaned back from their tight embrace to hold her face in his hands. “You always come to us, okay? About anything…especially things like this. This was scary and nerve-wracking, but I am proud of you. And really fucking relieved.”

Lucy chuckled lightly as he pressed a kiss to her head and pulled her close again, burying her against his chest like he was going to swallow her with his arms.

“You’ve got a whole bright and incredible future, Princess, so don’t be stupid about things, okay? I want to see you succeed before you have babies. I want to see you married before you have babies.”

“I don’t want babies with Jackson!” Lucy said quickly. “He hasn’t replied to my text in four days!”

“Breakup with him. He doesn’t deserve you.” Florence spoke up, brushing her daughter’s hair from her face and kissed her temple.

“Yes. Breakup with him and I’ll take out for dinner wherever you want.” Daniel agreed.

Lucy leaned up to kiss his cheek before heading to her room to grab her phone, calling over her shoulder, “Can we stop at church before dinner though because I really need to repent.”

[vickyvicarious]

I am longing to be with you, and by the sea, where we can talk together freely and build our castles in the air. [...] When we are married I shall be able to be useful to Jonathan, and if I can stenograph well enough I can take down what he wants to say in this way and write it out for him on the typewriter, [...] When I am with you I shall keep a diary in the same way. [...] I will tell you of my little plans when we meet. [...] I am longing to hear all his news. It must be so nice to see strange countries. I wonder if we—I mean Jonathan and I—shall ever see them together.

Look at how forward-facing Mina is! She is chock-full of plans and anticipation for the future in this letter; practically every other line is looking ahead. To her vacation with Lucy, and further ahead still to her marriage with Jonathan, and perhaps even further than that to a future in which they can travel together. She talks about being busy and she certainly is, of course. She's been working hard and is probably tired. But her stress is still pretty minimal here. Instead, she's overflowing with love and eagerness.

It's a perfect introduction to her, in a bunch of ways.

She is a character who is so closely linked to modernity (and contrasted to her enemy Dracula who represents the past), and so having this letter be all about the future is very fitting.

This letter shows just how young and eager she is. We saw it with Jonathan, on his first big job - and here we see Mina as well, full of energy and eager to embark on a new stage of her life.

We see that Mina is the kind of person who works hard for the future, too. She doesn't just sit around and dream, however much she looks forward to doing so with Lucy - instead, she tells us of multiple ways she is currently/is planning to begin preparing for her future. She's studying, practicing, teaching and learning at all times - and happy to do so.

The lighthearted letter is a great contrast to everything going on with Jonathan. Dramatic irony aplenty about his trip - but also about the uncertainty of the very future she anticipates here. It also echoes how his diary began. He and she shared this frame of mind originally, but after meeting Dracula it's been taken from him. Eventually, despite their reunion and marriage, Dracula's return and attack on Mina robs both of them of this eagerness for the future. Mina anticipates her death instead of her life. Jonathan tells us they never speak of the future. It's not until he is gone from their lives that they start to live for the future again in the same way.

It being a letter, and one so full of joy and love for both Jonathan and Lucy at that, is very fitting as well. Mina is the heart of the latter part of the novel, and builds unique bonds with everyone around her in a way no one else does to the same extent. She is motivated by love and care for others, and their love for her prompts them into action as well. Connections are so important with her. So having her first contribution to the book be a letter to someone she loves is perfect.

[harryissuchalittleshit]

Percy and Audrey with their grandchildren:

Lucas Fredrick Jordan:

The first grandson!

He’s smart and funny and loves his Grandad Percy sooo much

Percy just loves his grandchildren, he cries every time he holds one of his grandkids for the first time

Lucas was born at the beach house (the birth from One Night)

As he gets older, he becomes more confident and sure of himself

He loves to spend time with his Grandad Percy though, especially at the joke shop

When he gets sorted into Gryffindor, Percy is so proud of him!!

They write each other every other week through Lucas’ Hogwarts career, Percy is very proud when he’s made prefect and later Head Boy

When he graduates he gets a job at the joke shop and comes up with a lot of great ideas for the business

Willafred “Willow” Lucille Jacobs:

The first granddaughter!

If Lucas is attached to Percy, then Willa loves her Nana Audrey

They are kindred spirits

Audrey teaches Willa how to sew just as she taught Molly and Lucy

She goes to everyone of her Little League Quidditch games and actually starts to like the game (as long as her grandchildren are playing)

Willa and Lucas get put together often and it was a big thing when Lucas went to Hogwarts first

But then Willa goes and is sorted into Hufflepuff like her nana and her parents and is soooo happy

She and Audrey send different design patterns back and forth and Willa will create clothes for her friends

She does get into a bit of trouble when she’s older, but it’s how she meets her future husband Dannie Bones!

Audrey is the first person that Willa tells about her boyfriend and she’s the first person to find out he proposed

Willa gets pregnant in her last few weeks of school and finds out the day of her wedding

She names her daughter after Audrey, Riona Audrey

Charlotte “Charlie” Caralynn Jacobs:

She’s sooo shy

But she opens up when she’s alone with someone

She always finds Percy, climbs into his lap, and will refuse to leave

Percy refuses to give her up!!

She reminds him so much of Audrey, she’s stubborn, she’s funny, and she always goes unnoticed except to a well trained eye

She’s an amazing flyer and Percy gives her to confidence to try out for Little League Quidditch

She’s an amazing Seeker, even if she’s taller than most, but she has long arms and thin fingers

When she goes to school and gets sorted into Hufflepuff, no one is surprised

She gets on the house team her second year and Percy is soooo proud of her

When she becomes captain her fourth year, Percy reminds her keep her head up and make sure to be heard

She gets signed on to the Magpies as a reserve, but then gets her shot during the second game of the season

And she wins it!!

The line up gets moved around while the main seeker is in recovery and she takes over for the next few games

And when she gets benched again, the Harpies offer her a starting position, which is unheard of

She takes it, and within two years is captain and married to one of the beaters

Lee Percival Jordan:

He’s a character

He’s fascinated by pictures and the Prophet and any publication

Percy and Audrey get him his first camera and the first time he develops a moving picture he nearly cries

He likes to just document the little things in life

A lot of his photos are just of the family having tea or playing in the shops or riding on brooms

Percy takes him to his first Quidditch game and one of his photos gets used on the stadium banners for the next year

And he was only four

He doesn’t like flying himself, but Quidditch is so cool and his dad likes it and his Grandad Percy likes it and so does his Grandpa Lee

(He also loves it whenever anyone points out he was named after both of his grandfathers)

He becomes a Ravenclaw at school like his parents, but he’s the Quidditch commentator like his dad and grandpa and makes prefect and Head Boy like his grandad

He graduates and starts writing books about the evolution of Quidditch and how it’s played

When he’s older he writes a book about his childhood and includes lots of those early pictures of the family

Penelope “Penny” Audrey Jacobs:

She is very sensitive

When Artie and Molly have the twins, she’s shipped off to Percy and Audrey’s a lot more

Audrey teaches her to knit and sew like she does with ALL of her grandchildren

But she also teaches her how to cook

All of the recipes that her mother and the grandmothers in the town she grew up get passed down to Penny

She is just soooo hard working and determined, a cut, a burn, nothing slows her down

When she goes to Hogwarts, not even her schoolwork slows her down

She graduates and goes to the Ministry??? And no one understands why

Until five years to the day, she quits and opens a restaurant of her own

Five years she spent trying out her food on her coworkers and saving her gold to put a down payment down on a building

She brings the food she loves and grew up cooking with Audrey to the world

She names her resturant Rey’s after Audrey

Michelle Molly Jordan:

She’s the baby of her family and the only girl

She is sooo spoiled by both of her grandparents

She’s a lot like Lucy, so very smart and very emotional and very loving

While her older brothers are very close to Percy, she is very close to Audrey

She likes to knit and sew with her and finds a lot of joy in working with her hands

By the time she’s ten, she’s helping design and make clothes for Lucy and Molly’s shop

She gets sooo homesick her first year of school and feels so isolated

Audrey writes her every week, but it doesn’t help very much, so Percy takes over, and they start to get really close

She makes sure to spend a lot of time at their house over the summer and she comes to realize that it’s the life she wants

When she’s sixteen, she falls in love

She gets pregnant halfway through her sixth year, but doesn’t let it slow her down

She has her son and gets married and leaves Hogwarts, but she studies and works hard at home and comes back to sit her NEWTs

She gets seven O’s just to prove it to herself and goes into business for herself as a tailor

And she gets the life she wants

Francine “Fran” Isabelle Jacobs:

One half of the twins!

She and Gwen love to dance and entertain

They aren’t the best flyers like their siblings, but they’re still great on a broom

Fran is the louder of the pair and often follows around Percy everywhere he goes

She loves to visit him at the shop and be in the middle of all the chaos

He does make her sit down and listen and learn about what he does for the shop

It’s boring to Fran, until she’s about 15/16 and having a bad day and she can just disappear into the numbers

When she goes to school, everything is so exciting and wild and she’s having so much fun!! But even with her twin sister and favorite cousin Michelle, she’s still lonely and misses home

Writing to her grandparents makes her feel better because she doesn’t think she can tell her parents how she feels

The summer before her seventh year she spends a summer working the register at the joke shop and flirts heavily with her co-worker, in a plan that Percy may have had a hand in

She goes to work at the joke shop after graduating and helps with the books, especially around inventory

And the boy she was flirting with? He becomes her husband a few years after graduating

Gwendolyn “Gwen” Bailey Jacobs:

She’s the second half of the twins

She’s the quieter of the pair, usually following behind her sister

She adores Audrey and makes a point to be by her side anytime she can

Percy and Audrey make the point to treat them as different people at all times, they are not a matching set

They make a point to go to all of their recitals

Gwen really loves knitting with Audrey and it becomes the time where she gets to speak and always be listened too

On Saturdays Audrey always comes around to take Gwen to craft shows

When she’s about 15/16, she starts setting up her own booth and selling the things she makes, most of it is just baby clothes that she had made for Willa and Dannie that they didn’t need

She goes to work at Molly and Lucy’s shop when she graduates, but her Saturdays are for craft shows with Audrey

When she gets married a few years later, Audrey makes her a giant knitted blanket for their bed and Gwen is so happy

Rachel “Ray” Dominique Jacobs:

The last girl!

She is sooo mean to her older sisters it’s a bit funny

She just carries a lot of anger around, and it would be more funny if she could properly manage it

She gets into fights with all the boys at her primary and can throw a punch that can knock anyone out

She just hates being the last girl and not quite feeling as if she’s part of the family

But you know where none of this matters?? At Nana Audrey and Grandad Percy’s house!

She’s often sent over by herself and given the opportunity to be the little kid she wants to be

She becomes so carefree and happy

She’s an amazing keeper and is at home on her broom and in the air

She gets on the Quidditch team right away at Hogwarts (with Charlie as her captain it was going to happen)

Being on a team makes her relax and feel a lot better and as if she’s a part of something

But nothing makes her feel better than carefree afternoons with her grandparents

When she graduates she gets signed on to play for the Falcons and she is ruthless

Her coach is rude and mean, but she’s the only girl on their team and she doesn’t back down from a fight

He bad mouths her in front of the press and she punches him out and it sends the message

Her old coach gets fired and they bring in someone new and she falls head over heels, they both do

But the only opinion she cares about is her grandparents and they approve of him 100%

Ignatius “Iggy/Gee” George Jacobs:

The baby boy!!

He’s seventeen months younger than Rachel, but it doesn’t matter

He is so happy-go-lucky and adorable and weird

He follows after his older sisters and cousins, but nothing is better than being shipped off to his grandparents by himself

Afternoons playing chess and listening to his grandad read?? Yes!!

Afternoons kitting and sewing with his Nana Audrey?? Yes!!

Afternoons in the kitchen cooking with both of his grandparents, or more so Percy watching from his perch on the kitchen counter and Audrey doing the real work??? Yes!!!!

He just enjoys spending time with them, sitting down and having a cup of tea, or knitting in the living room, or listening to a game on the radio, it’s everything he can ask for

Audrey and Percy’s next door neighbors have a daughter just a few days younger than Iggy and they become quick friends

When Iggy goes to Hogwarts, he writes his grandparents and to his “friend” next door

It’s really cute

When he’s older, about 16 he spends the whole summer with his grandparents and he starts dating the girl next door

It’s really hard not to tell her about magic, as that is his whole life and everything that he has always known

The next summer, he’s seventeen and he bites the snitch and just shows her his world

He starts with the little things, mostly the pictures around his grandparents house and all the other little quirky things that he loves and knows

Leaving her behind to finish school is the hardest thing he’s ever done, but he stills writes her every week

They both graduate and go to working at their respective governments, he works in the Muggle liaison offices and she ends up working as a secretary to the Prime Ministry

They name their first son after Percy, Adam Percival, and their first daughter after Audrey, Audrey Elizabeth

[roc-thoughtblog]

Sense and Sensibility Readthrough Part 20

Chapter 23, Pages 119-126

Previously, poor Elinor... four years... poor Elinor... four years...

Having given it a little thought, it occured to me that the twist from last chapter worked extremely well for something that I would have expected to occur narratively anyway. And I have complete certainty that it's because the twist went completely overboard by a shocking, twisty margin. Four years!

That's definitely something I'm keeping very close in consideration. Noted, circled and underlined. Just because the basic element of your narrative twist may be heavily foreshadowed or just predictable, doesn't mean the whole part of it has to be. There can and probably should be more than one layer of twist to your twist.

In fact, isn't this a form of misdirection in itself? Put people at ease with something that could be interpreted as simple, then throw something else out from behind it. Wait, now I'm just describing the basic element of a twist... a general principle of playing with expectations... Hmm, anyway!

Readthrough below.

Chapter 23

HOWEVER SMALL Elinor's general dependence on Lucy's veracity might be, it was impossible for her on serious reflection to suspect it in the present case,

IN THE PRESENT CASE? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN MS. AUSTEN? Is this just a general statement about her unwillingness to question anything right in this moment? Or is it also a foreboding statement that Lucy's word will not be trustworthy in the future? Ms. Austen are you deliberately toying with me? D:

Elinor embarks aboard a long train of thought. The facts as presently established are thus:

There is altogether too much evidence of Lucy's claims being truthful; ergo they are engaged and all evidence presented is true.

She wasn't alone in believing Edward held feelings for her. Her family (supportive) and his sister (unsupportive) both acknowledged the case, so it's not any personal delusion or her own, or positive bias on the part of her family.

Trying to reconcile those two premises, she can draw various possible solutions that might satisfy both:

Eddie has been deliberately playing with her heart. :(

Eddie has unintentionally and hopelessly succumbed to Elinor's affection. :?

Eddie's engagement with Lucy was going nowhere to begin with. :/

I'm personally gonna float a fourth possibility, that Edward forgot Lucy Steele existed until she returned to his life recently to get him to fulfill his engagement promise, and now he's in a pickle. Not going easy on him though, the only scenario in which he doesn’t bear a significant burden of responsibility in this mess is the one where, iunno, Lucy’s been blackmailing him the whole time or something.

The youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him to everything but her beauty and good nature; but the four succeeding years [...] must have opened his eyes to her defects

Oh, so is this why Mr. Palmer was introduced with the following (lemme dig it up) line?

His temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding, like many of others of his sex, that through some unaccountable bias towards beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman - but she knew this kind of blunder was too common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it.

When I was reading it I thought it was coming uncharacteristically close to laying a man's responsbility over his own emotions at the feet of his wife instead (even if Mr. Palmer was immediately following diagnosed with class angst instead). I suppose the real purpose of this line would be to prep the reader, so that the possibility of hasty engagements on Edward's part seem reasonably expected, and also to, well, suggest at the possible result of such a hasty, valueless engagement being followed through?

I know there’s a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, is there a Sense and Sensibility and Alternate Timelines?

Well, either way, I'm given to conclude that the Palmer chapter really does a lot more to set up pacing and expectations than I give it credit for. Though I still don’t think I like these particular expectations very much.

Also, Elinor, as mature as you project yourself to be, you think these thoughts of foolhardy youth as though you're not also presently nineteen right now. :'D

Also geez, you're really picking on Lucy hard for her lack of education, which has so far been presented much more a lack of opportunity than anything else. I noticed while reading the Other Stories in Susan and Stories that many of the protagonists were definitely a little on the not-like-other-girls side of the spectrum. I always love when education is valued, but it does make me uncomfortable when I see it presented as though a virtue in itself, rather than the product of opportunity and environment.

I'm still holding out on general judgement of Lucy as I haven't really felt like I've been introduced to her outside of Elinor's lens. There's a sort of tell vs. show element to reliability of information in the narrative voice I've been sitting on; one where I've been told a lot about Lucy from Elinor's feelings and thoughts (that she's artful or selfish), but I haven't actually seen Lucy behave in any way I would interpret as more than some level of insensitive.

It's really hard for me to get a read on Lucy or Edward. Unlike with Willoughby or Brandon, their actions as depicted do not immediately align with evaluations of their character made by the Dashwood sisters. Lucy has been very little shown to have done anything to earn Elinor's harsher assessments of her character (except insensitivity). Edward, I don't even know what about him I can take at any sort of face value except that he's ambitionless.

As these considerations occured to her in painful succession, she wept for him, more than for herself.

Oh, Elinor... She's worried about how Edward must feel, that his family could possibly support his engagement to Lucy when she is in a worse position than Elinor in every regard.

Supported by the conviction of having done nothing to merit her present unhappiness,

Oh, Elinor... she's rationalised away her natural freedom to be unhappy for unhappiness' sake. And she puts the mask back on. No telling her family. She will take this burden on very alone indeed.

It'll have to be up to Marianne to save her, on the day that Marianne finally throws a fit over Edward's mysterious lack of flirting. Oh, and what about their little moment chapters back where they shared a joke over Willoughby? Oh it will hurt if they ever have a real confrontation... :(

and that Marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections of a man, of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly possessed,

oH NO! Well if you're going to say that! If Edward was four years engaged then what's Willoughby going to have been? Secretly married ten years?? I forgot Marianne is still pining hard. Wait what's even going to happen when Edward and Willoughby meet as promised?

"Hi, I'm not marrying a Dashwood sister." "Hi, it turns out I'm also not marrying a Dashwood sister." "What was the purpose of our meeting again?" "Breaking Dashwood hearts solidarity?"

What is even happening? Please come back Brandon, at least your secret daughter can't break hearts. Also because you can't break hearts in general because noone loves you. Wait, ouch. Sorry. Also because your daughter might become friends with Margaret!

Oh Elinor, she's also justifiably disinclined to tell her family anything anyway because she knows they'll make a gigantic deal out of it, and probably Say Things that she doesn't want to hear. I mean, almost certainly Eddie has done you dirty here Elinor, if at bare minimum through negligence in communication. He's gonna deserve some of that tongue lashing.

Well, now that Elinor has come to terms with her situation, she has new objectives. To talk to Lucy again, and in doing so:

Discover the true depth of Lucy's feelings for Edward

Estimate Edward's regard for herself by gauging Lucy's jealousy towards her (HA!)

Convince Lucy somehow that no, she was never interested in Edward, haha, what a funny joke, I am not hurt or in pain at all. Didn't have a minor breakdown in front of you yesterday, nope. Perfectly fine, no feelings here.

Ah yes, the "What doesn't kill me NEVER HAPPENED" approach. Maybe in a couple of years she might even manage to convince herself she had never loved Edward at all, or indeed, anyone ever?

Apparently for all of Sir Middleton's parties, it can be surprisingly hard to get one-on-one time. Yeah, I get that. It takes Elinor some time before she can speak to Lucy privately again: at a party Sir Middleton arranged but is not attending. Heh.

"Insipidity." That was a word I wanted for the past few days but could only remember "vapid." Also wow, the narrative is pulling no punches over how insipid, boring and generally valueless this gathering and it's conversations are. Elinor's usually polite about things but internally she has no patience anymore. She needs to talk to Lucy and everything about this party is very much Getting In The Way.

So some party shenanigans happen and Lady Middleton is very easily manipulated as usual through appeals to her motherhood, to provide space for Lucy and Elinor to talk. Lucy is trying so hard to finish a basket for little Annamaria before tomorrow you see, and Oh! It is so much work, surely Elinor needs to help her! Works like a charm, Lady Middleton lets them out of card games and leaves them right alone to chat at a worktable.

Marianne just up and ditches Lady Middleton for the piano haha, with all the grace and tact of... iunno, Marianne I guess. Zero subtlety. "I hate cards, piano time starts now." Narrative says she's lost in her own thoughts and emotions while playing, I choose to interpret that as "angrily and noisily."

But it provides the appropriate background noise cover for Elinor and Lucy to talk with some approximation of privacy, which seems to follow directly in the next chapter.

Well, this has been a chapter devoted to Elinor's processing of... last chapter. Considering the weight of some such revelations, yeah, there was a lot for Elinor to process.

I feel as though I could go on to make some observations on the differences between Elinor and Marianne's approaches to processing heartbreak, but, they're just so... comically and wholly contrastive I wouldn't know where to begin except in broad terms. Marianne lets it all out, expressing her internal turmoil to almost performative levels and with complete emotional conviction. Elinor suppresses everything she can't rationalise away, and she tries to rationalise away everything, up to and including her own personal right to be upset.

Also it seems unusual to have a chapter immediately succeed from the events of the previous chapter as the next one does, so I imagine the hits aren't slowing yet. No idea what else could come out right now though.

[96thdayofrage]

Former U.S. Sen. Adlai Stevenson III dies at 90

Former U.S. Sen. Adlai E. Stevenson III, the fourth generation of an iconic Illinois Democratic political family to hold public office and who lost the closest governor’s race in state history, died Monday in his Chicago home. He was 90.

Stevenson, the namesake of a great-grandfather who served as 23rd vice president of the United States and a father who served as Illinois’ 31st governor and twice ran as the Democratic nominee for president, represented Illinois in the U.S. Senate from 1970 through 1981.

Stevenson’s political career began when he was elected in 1964 as a member of the Illinois House on the famous “bedsheet” ballot, where all candidates ran for at-large statewide seats because of redistricting problems.

He then successfully ran for Illinois treasurer in 1966, holding that office until November 1970 when he won a special U.S. Senate election following the death of Republican Sen. Everett Dirksen a year earlier.

Stevenson easily defeated Republican Ralph Tyler Smith, who had been appointed to the seat, taking 58% of the vote. After finishing Dirksen’s term, Stevenson won reelection in 1974, then decided not to run again in 1980. He stepped aside in January 1981 for fellow Democrat Alan Dixon, who won the November election.

In 1982, Stevenson ran for governor. He had initially sought the Democratic Party’s backing for the office in 1968, but was brushed aside by then-Mayor Richard J. Daley. The 1982 matchup would go down as the tightest race for governor in Illinois history, with Stevenson losing by less than 1 percentage point — 5,074 votes to be exact — to Republican incumbent James R. Thompson.

Perhaps the most memorable moment from that contest, aside from its close finish, was the debate over whether Thompson had implied Stevenson was a “wimp.”

″He is saying, ‘Me tough guy,’ as if to imply that I’m some kind of wimp,″ Stevenson said during the campaign. Thompson famously replied, “I have never called Adlai Stevenson a wimp,” before saying he didn’t know what a wimp was.

With results showing Stevenson trailing by a few thousand votes out of more than 3.6 million cast, he began the process for a recount by reviewing a portion of ballots in selected counties. He contended the partial recount indicated he would win by some 40,000 votes and his team argued the case before the Illinois Supreme Court, which at the time was made up of four Democrats and three Republicans.

Democratic Justice Seymour Simon joined the three Republican justices in ruling the state’s recount statute was unconstitutional, handing the victory to Thompson. In a 2000 interview with the Tribune, Stevenson alleged Simon’s vote was payback for Stevenson passing him up for a federal judgeship while he was senator. Simon vehemently denied the allegation as “nonsense,” while Stevenson further alleged a recount would have exposed Cook County Democrats to allegations of voter fraud.

“It will always be uncertain what was the will of the people in the gubernatorial election of 1982,” the three dissenting Supreme Court justices concluded in the controversial case.

In a 2017 interview with the Tribune, an 86-year-old Stevenson joked, “I still haven’t conceded, by the way.”

In 1986, Stevenson sought a rematch. After winning the party’s nomination in the primary, he abandoned the Democratic ticket after Mark Fairchild and Janice Hart, followers of political extremist Lyndon LaRouche, won the nomination for lieutenant governor and secretary of state, respectively.

Stevenson instead mounted a third-party candidacy on the ticket of the Illinois Solidarity Party, which all but ensured the clobbering Thompson gave him on his way to winning the third of his historic four terms in office. The Illinois AFL-CIO endorsed Thompson in 1986, a rare backing of a Republican in a statewide race by a traditional and politically powerful Democratic ally in organized labor.

In both campaigns, Stevenson suffered from a charisma deficit compared with the more convivial Thompson. A 1986 Washington Post campaign trail profile of Stevenson described how the candidate sat silently in a Downstate McDonald’s filled with voters.

“His charisma quotient is down around zero. No one recognizes or approaches the man with the bald dome and wire-rimmed glasses,” the article read. “While other campaigners would glad-hand their way through the place, Stevenson sits quietly in a booth. His wife, Nancy, who campaigns endlessly and gregariously, later explains that her husband’s respect for the privacy of others prohibits such intrusion.”

Veteran Chicago political operative David Axelrod, best known for his work on former President Barack Obama’s campaign and as his White House adviser, worked on that 1986 campaign.

“Rumpled and professorial, people often misread him,” Axelrod tweeted about Stevenson. “He had a spine of steel and kowtowed to no one-not the Chicago machine donors, interest groups…or even voters. Just said and did what he thought was right. RIP.”

After losing both the closest and one of the most lopsided races for governor, Stevenson did not seek office again. He went on to a lengthy private sector career with a focus on business relations in East Asia while holding a number of leadership positions with organizations focused on U.S.-Asian relations.

He also wrote “The Black Book,” which “records American politics and history as his family knew it over five generations of active engagement, starting with Abraham Lincoln in central Illinois,” according to the family obituary.

Stevenson met his future wife, Nancy Anderson, in 1953 while he was training at Fort Knox, Kentucky in preparation for his deployment overseas. The couple was married in 1955 at Nancy’s home near Louisville.

Nancy Stevenson summed up their marriage as “one long adventure.”

“He was a man who loved to explore every time he was in a new place,” she said. “He loved to explore ideas, and he took his family with him every chance he got.”

In a statement, Gov. J.B. Pritzker lauded Stevenson as a “rare individual” for earning both the Illinois Order of Lincoln honor from the governor and the Order of the Sacred Treasure from the Emperor of Japan.

“Whether in elected office, in the Marines or in non-profit work, Adlai Stevenson III lived each of his 90 years as an example of public service,” Pritzker said. “Most markedly, Sen. Stevenson’s pursuits were anchored in a passion for democracy. As the first chairman of the modern Senate Ethics Committee and later in his work in global development, his commitment to bringing people into politics transcended international borders.”

Acclaimed historian Michael Beschloss recalled on Twitter his days as a 16-year-old intern in Stevenson’s Washington Senate office, sorting the mail and operating the Xerox machine. Beschloss remembered Stevenson once recalling how he had to meet with famous Chicago Ald. Paddy Bauler (best known for his famous line “Chicago ain’t ready for reform”) while he was trying to break into politics.

“I once heard Senator Stevenson joke about being a young political candidate who had to audition before a Chicago boss in the boss’s saloon,” Beschloss tweeted. “Stevenson recalled being pleased to overhear the boss say afterwards, ‘Well, the little ---- wasn’t as bad as I expected!!’”

Stevenson’s great-grandfather, Adlai Stevenson I, served as vice president to President Grover Cleveland, helping deliver Illinois for Cleveland. The eldest Stevenson was twice elected to Congress from Illinois before twice losing reelection during Republican presidential years. He also ran for vice president on the losing presidential ticket of William Jennings Bryan in 1900 before narrowly losing a 1908 run for Illinois governor.

Stevenson’s grandfather, Lewis Stevenson, got appointed as Illinois secretary of state in 1914, but lost his 1916 campaign for reelection.

Stevenson’s father, Adlai Stevenson II, successfully ran for governor in 1948, ousting two-term Republican incumbent Dwight Green and becoming a national figure in the process. Stevenson had planned to run for reelection in 1952 before reluctantly getting nominated by the Democratic National Convention to run against overwhelmingly popular Republican President Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Eisenhower easily defeated Stevenson II in 1952 and again in 1956, when he received the Democratic nomination a second time. Stevenson II sought a third nomination in 1960, but lost out to the youthful John F. Kennedy, who won Stevenson’s own Illinois delegation with the support of Daley.

Stevenson III graduated from Milton Academy, Harvard College and Harvard Law School. He served with the Marine Corps in Korea and was discharged as a captain from the Marine Reserves in 1961.

In his bids for governor, the youngest Stevenson often said he was born to run for office and often referenced the political debt he owed his famous father.

In his 2017 interview with the Tribune, Stevenson noted that his son, executive Adlai Stevenson IV, and grandson Adlai Stevenson V didn’t seem inclined to follow his footsteps into politics.

“My father said he was ‘born with an incurable hereditary disease of politics,’” Stevenson said. “Apparently, the disease has been cured.”

In addition to his wife, Stevenson is survived by two sons, Adlai IV and Warwick; two daughters, Lucy Stevenson and Katherine Stevenson; two brothers, John and Borden; and nine grandchildren.

Service information was not yet available.

[tinsley-goldsworth]

clockwork

summary: francesca watches ricky and tinsley’s relationship develop as the clock ticks by (week 22 of my 30 weeks of prompts challenge: clocks) 

(read on ao3!) 

wc: 1558

Francesca Norris has known Ricky Goldsworth for a very long time. She knew him when they were both innocent children who were too young to understand the horrors of the world. They both enjoyed going to elementary school together, and, when asked about their parents, they both always answered with the same “they work in business” phrase because, in reality, their parents’ jobs were very complicated.

Ricky’s mother Lucy Goldsworth was a famous criminal who was infamous for her reasonable rates and efficiency. When someone needed something illegal to be done, Lucy was always the person people went to. Her husband, Ricky Goldsworth’s dad, was a mobster that he worked with Lucy but ending up running off, hence Ricky’s daddy issues. On the other hand, Francesca’s mother was an infamous spy who was well known for her problems with authority and Francesca’s father was a journalist who was not observative at all.

Francesca’s mother met Lucy on a mission once and they both became fast friends, bonding over their shared hate of government officials. Ricky and Francesca became friends because they saw each other so often when their mothers met up to discuss how dumb politicians were. 

There was no surprise that both mothers were killed during missions and that left a very important decision for Ricky and Francesca. They had to decide whether they wanted to pursue a different path from their parents or take over their jobs. To this day, Francesca still has no idea whether Ricky influenced her or she influenced him, but somewhere along the line, they both agreed to follow in their mothers’ footsteps, becoming “bad people”, instead of ending what their mothers had started.

Ricky has always been cold, even before he started killing people for cash. His cold behavior makes it clear he always destined to take on his mother’s job. Even as a child, he had little remorse to show for other children who were in his way and while he didn’t exactly deal with them by stabbing them, Ricky was still shoved them out of his way with the aggression he would use to stab somebody. Francesca, on the other hand, was responsible for talking the teacher out of punishing Ricky, which is how she realized that she had a hidden power of sweet-talking and persuasion. 

Unsurprisingly, as Ricky spent more time doing his job, he grew more apathetic and whatever little sympathy he had in his heart seemed to have shriveled up and died. Francesca knew that his job required him to practically be drained of any emotion but she was alarmed by the fact that Ricky somehow grew colder as he grew more powerful. 

However, Francesca’s alarm disappeared the day that Ricky stopped by her house for their weekly weekend conversation about life updates and such, since the two still remained best friends even after their new jobs dominated their lives. Francesca was adjusting the position of her clock on the wall (the time read 9:14 at night) when she heard a knock on the door. 

The moment Ricky opened the door, Francesca knew that something was up with him. Her instinctive habits of reading people kicked in and she began noting all the signs, connecting them as she went along. Ricky’s top button was unbuttoned and he never left his top unbuttoned unless he was trying to impress somebody, which he didn’t really need to do in order to attract business since he was pretty well known in the criminal world already. So, this meant that he left his top button unbuttoned for somebody who he was not working with, possibly as a means to express subtle romantic interest.

Before Francesca could scrutinize any further details, Ricky made the connections for her when he took off his blazer and excitedly exclaimed, “You won’t believe what happened today! I met the dumbest, but also cutest, detective today when I was working on an assignment somebody gave to me and apparently, somebody else tipped the authorities off about the assignment so C.C. Tinsley was there and he was definitely not the detective to send because first of all, those long legs are totally wasted if he’s just standing around solving cases all the time and second of all, he got really distracted by my flirting and I managed to slip away with the goods before he could notice. He was really cute though, I’m thinking about seeing him again.”

Ricky paused his rambling to catch his breath and Francesca was shocked into utter silence. She hadn’t heard Ricky talk about anybody so passionately ever in their countless years spent together and she seemed to be unable to process the notion that Ricky Goldsworth wasn’t completely emotionless. Maybe Ricky had finally lost his mind after years of trauma from the horrors he witnessed during his assignments; that would be a more reasonable explanation than the suggestion that Ricky might be catching romantic feelings for somebody. 

“I’m going to take your silence as support. I’m going to see him again, and hopefully ask him out, and maybe this can go somewhere,” Ricky concluded before he took out Francesca’s knife-sharpening tools from her cabinet. Normally, Francesca would’ve teasingly rolled her eyes since he always used her knife-sharpening tools, even though he had a perfectly functioning set at home. Instead, she was still so shocked that she just watched Ricky sharpen knives as he hummed happily to himself.

~

The next time Ricky spoke about C.C.Tinsley, Francesca was just about to go to sleep. It was 1:32 am and frankly, Francesca was more than ready to go to sleep after a long day of staying in disguise for her latest mission. She just finished removing her wig when she received an incoming call from Ricky. Usually, Ricky preferred to stop by to chat so this meant that Ricky either had something urgent to say or something extremely quick. 

Nevertheless, Francesca picked up just in case the case was the former and, just her luck, the case was the latter. Before Francesca could even ask Ricky why he was calling her, Ricky began rambling about C.C. Tinsley.

“Guess what? I talked to him again and convinced him to go out on a date with me! It’s going to be great. But I mean, I obviously maintained my cool and stayed calm but I’m really excited! I know you’re probably planning to sleep right now so sorry for calling you but I just wanted to give you an update! Good night!”

Francesca was very certain that Ricky was either possessed, had too much sugar, or was truly infatuated with this detective for him to sound so energetic at 1:32 in the early morning.

That was not the only instance where Ricky contacted Francesca in the dead of night (or extremely early in the morning). At 3:25 am on a Wednesday night, Francesca woke up since her mission started at 5:30 and she needed two hours in order to get into her disguise. She received a chain of text messages from Ricky about C.C. yet again. This time, it was about how C.C. agreed to finally move up to boyfriend status.

As Francesca put her lipstick on, she read the enthusiastic texts that were all punctuated with several exclamations marks and random keyboard smashes to express the feeling of being overwhelmed with emotions. She was glad that Ricky hadn’t started using emojis to unironically express himself because that would be the most concerning action out of all the actions he did so far. Francesca replies with a few words of encouragement and then told Ricky to sleep and save his love for later.

There were so many more instances where Ricky talked to Francesca about his boyfriend. He invited her to his housewarming party when he and C.C. moved in together at 12:34 am on a Sunday night (technically Monday morning). He also sent her photos from his first vacation with C.C. in some secluded place in the middle of nowhere that had breathtaking views at 7:45 on a Tuesday evening. 

The most memorable one was the most recent one, which was exactly at 2:45 in the early morning when Francesca received a call from Ricky. She predicted that it would be about Tinsley and she picked up, half-awake. “Hey Ricky, what’s up?”

“Fran, I’m getting married! I just proposed to Tinsley and he said yes. Would you like to be my best man? Well, I mean, technically you’d be my best woman and it goes against tradition but screw tradition.”

“Are you kidding me? I’d love to!” Francesca practically squealed, standing up as joy coursed through her veins. “I’m so happy for you! Congratulations!”

This is what led to Francesca standing at the altar, giving a speech about the specific times that Ricky talked about his fiancé and how the clock seemed to play an important role in the evolution of their relationship. She finished her speech and Ricky and C.C. finally got married after years of being in love at exactly 6:19 in the evening on a Sunday. Their relationship was the definition of clockwork and Francesca felt a little emotional at the thought of her being able to see how they decide to write their future.

~

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[the-a-word-2214]

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Raspberry Beret

Mars Blackmon x OC

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: This is the final chapter everyone! I’d love to write for Mars again in the future but this is where this series will stop.

Summary: The finale of Raspberry Beret. You’ll have to read it to find out the ending

1,537 words

Chapter 7: New Beginnings

Mars and Lourdes, aka LuLu, decided to take a spontaneous trip to Puerto Rico a year and a half after Mars and Scarlett had started dating. Scarlett obviously tagged along because their mom was dying to finally meet the girl her son was in love with. She sounded like a wonderful person from the stories that Scarlett had heard.

The pleasant smell of the ocean breeze was the first thing that Scarlett noticed as she stepped out onto the beach that was near the place where they were staying. The people that they had met had been trying to rebuild their homes from the hurricane that hit. They were some of the most passionate and hard-working people that she’d ever met. The street artists were incredible too. Mosaics and murals lined nearly every single wall that she came across.

One night while they were there, they spent most of the evening at the beach. The stars were beautiful and so the midnight star gazing commenced. In their bathing suits, they laid and stared at the stars. Their fingers intertwined. Mars turns his head to look at the woman, a smile on his face. “I love you.” He mumbled as he gently squeezed her hand. She smiled back at him and gently kissed his knuckles. “I love you too, Mars. You’re out of this world.” He raises his eyebrows and smirks. “You know it, baby. Baby, you know it and shit.” He trailed off as he leaned his head on her shoulder. She rolled onto her stomach so that she was hovering over him, his hand came up to cup her cheek. “What is it, Mami?” He questions her as her hands settle on his chest. “Nothing...I just- I love looking at you.” No words could express how she felt at that moment. She knew that he probably felt a swell of pride for his home island and the emotion of everything was getting to her.

Mars sat up with her and did the only logical thing. He kissed her, passionately. Butterflies fluttered in their stomachs as they felt an insane amount of genuine love for each other. The passion in their kiss was nearly unbearable. Once they needed air they broke apart.

The next day LuLu, Mars, and Scarlett stopped by Doña Lucy’s house. Yoruba religious symbols filled the area. The three of them sat down on the plastic-covered couch, both Mars and Lourdes cringing at the feeling of the slick plastic. “I hated this couch as a kid,” Mars said as he rubbed his hands over it. “I can imagine why.” Scarlett chuckled as she looked at the material. A short, older woman walked in who had on elaborate earrings and a white flowery dress. Mars stood up and let his mother pepper his face with kisses. “A’ight, mom! Mom cut it out.” He protested as his mom looked him over. “Look at you, you still look like my baby.” She had a thick New York accent. He laughed as he brought his hands up to her shoulders. “Ma this is Scarlett.” He says as he turns towards the blonde. She holds out her hand for her to shake. “Oh, you can do better than that.” She says as she opens her arms for a hug. Scarlett bends down to hug the smaller woman.

Doña Lucy then reaches up to pinch her son’s cheek. “I see you’re smitten with my boy. I hope you know that you’re a lucky lady.” Scarlett giggles as she nods. “Yes ma’am. I’m very lucky.” Lucy motions for her to take a seat as she goes into the kitchen. The awkward tension in the air could be practically cut with a knife. Lucy was banging around in the kitchen as the siblings and Scarlett sat in silence. Mars looked to the kitchen with a knowing look and wiped his glasses with his shirt. After she set out a bowl as an offering she motioned for everyone to sit at the table. Everyone obeyed as they sat at the kitchen table, eating out of clay bowls.

“So Scarlett, honey, do you love my son?” Mars practically chokes on the food in his mouth as his mother proceeds to grill her. She gives the woman a soft smile, “of course I do. He’s wonderful.” Lucy nods and motions towards her son. “You two are practically sewn from the same cloth. Their father and I were oil and water though.” Mars stops chewing and looks at his mother. Lourdes does the same. Their mother’s face softens as she turns her attention back to Scarlett. “You two seem as happy as you can be, though. I hope you hold onto that.” The rest of the dinner went very well. Doña Lucy turned out to be a lot like her son in the sense that she was hilarious and had just as much of a foul mouth as him.

That night in bed, Scarlett was half asleep when she felt the bed dip beside her. Mars was kneeling beside the bed, his hands together in a prayer position. “God? It’s me, Mars. I want to learn how to help these dope people. They work so hard at what they do. I’m down to learn if you’re down to teach me.” Scarlett had heard everything that he said. It was almost childlike, the way that he spoke.

The next day, Lucy called her son over for a conversation. It was more of a reality check, honestly. She called him over to sit next to her in her room. “Why’d you call me here?” He questioned as he turned his attention towards her. “I know that you love this girl but, Hijo, you’ve gotta grow up. If you ever wanna provide for her then you have to be strong. Be a man!” Mars acknowledges his mother’s words as he nods. “I know, I know. Lulu doesn’t have no trouble with tellin’ me that every fucking day.” He explains as he runs a hand through his hair. Lucy pats her son’s shoulder as she sighs. “I bet she does. Promise me that you’ll try, a’ight?” She teases as she speaks in his usual tone. He smiles, “cross my heart hope to die, mamá.” He says as he makes a cross over his heart. He never broke that promise. He had to do better for Scarlett. Mars had vowed that while they were there, with his family, he would propose to Scarlett. It would be the ultimate vow of commitment and it would show that he actually wanted to try for Scarlett’s well being. He picked a ring out with his sister one night when Scarlett was preoccupied with taking photos along the way. He had everything planned out, he would propose while they were on the beach surrounded by his family. “This is gonna be mad lit, LuLu!” He had exclaimed to his sister. The ring was perfect, the setup was perfect.

Their last night in PR was spent mostly on the beach. The Blackmon’s cousins were spending the day with them as they danced their hearts away to the music that was playing. Scarlett was stealing glances at Mars as she danced with one of his younger cousins. He watched in awe as she picked up the little girl and spun her around. The group began to gather together as Mars brought Scarlett closer to the middle of the beach. “What are we doing, Mars? Where are you taking me?” She asked as she looked around at the cousins who only smiled in response. “Trust, baby. We’re just gonna be right here.” He explained as he took her hands and began to kneel down on one knee. Scarlett had an idea of what was going to happen but she didn’t really think he would do it.

He mustered up all the courage he could as he looked up into her eyes. “Scarlett Lewis...you’re my whole world. You put up with all my shit and you don’t take anything from anyone. You’re great at what you do and there’s no one like you in this fucking crazy world. That’s straight facts.” He laughs as he looks towards his cousins who return the gesture. He looks back to her as tears threaten to fall. For the first time in his life, he’s intimidated. He begins to doubt his abilities to provide for this woman who had given him everything. She cared for him when no one else would. His voice cracked as he began to speak again, “I love you, baby. Y-You’re my everything. Now...will you marry me, Mami?” Tears were now streaming down Scarlett’s face as he pulled out a small box with a diamond-studded ring. The jewel itself was a pear-shaped sapphire. It was Scarlett’s birthstone. Of course it was. Everything about that moment was perfect. Scarlett ended up speechless as she vigorously nodded as he slipped the ring onto her finger. The surrounding future in-laws cheered and whistled as the couple shared a short yet passionate kiss. Their arms were tangled around each other as they shared a chuckle, their foreheads touching. They later shared champagne and danced the night away. New beginnings were headed their way.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───