#the one braincell pinging around

[olessan]

I love them

[deconstructthesoup]

I've been seeing some (really freaking good) concepts for vampire!Payneland but almost nothing for vampire!Crowcat and I for one think that's a crime

[elitehoe]

Ok look I just need y'all to keep in mind that the last time Kenny Omega wore a graphic tshirt with a double meaning to it the pepsi slut debuted

[antisolanum]

Bro you’re the one on whom a swastika tattoo belongs, you’re call the survivors of the Shoah the reich in order to justify the new murder of seven million Jews, your allies are calling for Jews to be raped and their children murdered, you could not be more evil if you don’t care, but I’m sure you’ll try to find a way to up how evil you are - that’s inevitably what happens on this path. I really wish you guys would start wearing swastikas and stop pretending you’re anti Nazis, you’re literally repeating their propaganda. You want our seven year old nephews dead the same way the Nazis murdered our grandparents seven year old brothers. Shut the ever loving hell up forever about our trauma, if you’re going to root for us to be murdered, I think the bear minimum you can do is be mildly less phenomenally evil. Think you can try that? Try being not so completely the devil incarnate?

you literally cannot parody these people, they are completely gone and only a shell remains

[cordysys]

A Twist of Fate [Masterpost]

No one could understand her pain, her grief, her rage. No one.

And she would be [...] the last ruler Vaugarde would ever see.

A Twist of Fate is a role-swapping AU by many of our friends! Included are @abyssal-author-and-artist , @kitcats-1-braincell , @that-guest-named-pie , @homopopsie , @siffrincraft , @random-weird0 , @polyhedron20 , and @cordysys !

After some loops gone disastrously wrong, the Change God grew bored and mixed things up. Now, with everyone shuffled around...

Housemaiden Loop leads the charge, joined by Bonnie the Traveler. Together, they and the rest of their party are off to face Odile the Monarch. This time around, though, the stakes are higher and fights are much more difficult. While the Sadnesses from before were mindless, instinctual at best, those controlled by the Monarch seem almost… weirdly aware. How strange.

The full cast can be found here. For everything else, check out the mini masterposts below! I 💖 organization and if you want to be able to search by a topic I don't have down yet, just let me know and I will do my best to make it work!!! [NOTE: CURRENTLY BROKEN. WIP.]

CHARACTERS:

Loop | Claude | Nille | Bonnie | Mirabelle

Odile | Euphrasie | Siffrin | Isabeau | King

TIME PERIODS:

Early Pre-Canon | The Journey | During the Loops | Post Loops | Miscellaneous

Ignore the text below, I'm still working on cleaning up the post.

[Odile's Curse] [Ship in a Bottle] [Bonnie Basics] [Can't Let Go] [Talking To Yourself] [The Show Must Go On][Comically Large Wheel] [Odile Basics] [Siffrin Basics] [Odile House Opinions] [Odile's Favorites] [Echo about Isabeau] [Isabeau about Odile] [Odile about Siffrin] [Siffrin about Echo][Siffabeau..?] [More Bonnie]

# NOTES:

Overall, we're all extremely open to others chipping in with interpretations, art, and more! Our main "rule" [which isn't even a rule really] is to make sure we know you made something! Make sure to ping @cordysys at the very least in anything inspired by ATOF, we'd love to see it and even add it to the masterpost!!!

[devourable]

If you’re okay with it, what are your nsfw headcanons for the delinquents? Like as a group (if they do that) and individually?

i'm getting to it!!!! goddamn /lh

ty for the compliments though ahh 😭❤️❤️❤️ i try my best,, hopefully i'll get some more done now that i'm done w the mermaids,

sfw on top ; nsfw beneath!

🚬 the delinquents | mattias, judas, aaron, dominic

· mattias and judas are the ones with the most free time; meaning they're the two who you often hang out with the most. the experience is a bit polarizing because despite them being practically polar opposites, they get along incredibly well; it isn't uncommon for mattias to crack the most stupid jokes ever and for judas to laugh at them. it isn't unusual for them to drag you along to their less-than-legal shenanigans; judas usually keeping you occupied while mattie stuffs his pockets with stuff that he thinks you'd like. they'll laugh it off if you catch them in the act (they already did it, so... may as well enjoy the spoils, right?)

· aaron and dominic do their best to free up time to spend with you, but in the circumstances they can't, they're texting you constantly. they have two different groupchats; one with all five of you, and one specifically for aaron and dom where they'll text you/each other their schedules and what they plan to do when they can spend time with you again. they don't even slightly care if your schedule conflicts with theirs, they will be getting you out of it one way or another.

· they are the definition of 'boys will be boys'. they're all pretty smart on their own (save for mattie), but when they're all together? they share one collective braincell that pings between the four of them. they can and will get distracted by the dumbest things ever, and if one of them gets an idea for something, there's a solid chance the rest of them will follow suit with it. they are not above trying to drag you along with them (especially if you also have next to no braincells to speak of). they will literally get distracted by a cool bug if you send them to do an errand for you.

appearance wise, this is how i imagine them ;

mattias - shortish wavy red hair, pale skin, grey eyes. he has a gap in his two front teeth! his body is lithe and pretty skinny, noodly boy. he has a scar on his stomach. yes, you can kiss it, he will love that.

judas - black hair thats curly on top and shaved on the sides, dark brown skin, light greenish-hazel eyes. he has freckles but they're hard to see if you don't look closely. decently muscular but still a bit on the squishy side <3

aaron - medium length dark brown hair, tired pitch black eyes, tan skin, average build with a bit of muscle on him. he has beauty marks peppering his entire body and one of his teeth are chipped. it's a little bit of an insecurity for him.

dominic - curly black hair, brown eyes, light tan skin — kind of like the inverse of aaron lol? average build but he's closer to the skinnier side. he has a very distinctive birthmark on his face that he always gets a bit flustered over if people make comments about it.

nsfw below the cut, MDNI!

the boys don't really sleep with each other, but they have messed around a few times; especially aaron and dominic, given how long they've known each other (they were each other's first everything!). it's less of them being attracted to each other and more of them being a sort of stress relief for one another if two or more of them are in the mood. best friends help each other out!

mattias is the most likely to initiate something between himself and the other guys, especially if you're involved. he has a bit of an exhibitionism kink, purposefully trying to get it on with you in common areas with the hope that one of his friends will walk in on it and join. he's veeeery touchy, has the tendency to hump/grind against you through his clothes while you're making out because he wants you to feel just how worked up you got him. he likes it almost as much as the actual act of sex, in fact.

judas tends to avoid initiating anything as a whole, but if you come onto him or he's real pent up, he can and will drag you off to any private space he can find for you to share. he's into riskier settings — not in the way mattias is, though, he likes doing it in places you'd get caught in in normal circumstances (such as a park at night, a bathroom in a closed business, an abandoned building, etc etc). has a thing for making you make lots of noises. he loves hearing you say his name.

dominic is a massive voyeur, plain and simple. anything that has to do with watching you, whether that be watching you get railed by one of his friends or a video that one of them took for you, he's all for it. in the event that he walks in on you and one (or more) of his friends having some fun, he's content to watch — unless you ask him to join, of course! he's also very much into receiving. anything involving your hands or mouth on him is enough to drive him nuts.

aaron likes bondage and has a breeding kink, especially when jointed with one another. he loves tying you down and seeing how many times he can get himself to cum in you, muttering about how he's gonna knock you up one way or another (regardless of your gender, lest that makes you dysphoric). he also has a kink for marking of all types, whether that be hickies/bruises or literally marking his/his friend's names on your body. either way, he's taking pictures of you and sharing it to your groupchat later &lt;3

all together, they work pretty well with one another. dominic's content to sit back and watch his friends have their fun with you, mattie and dom are likely the ones actually fucking you, and judas is probably recording the entire thing. the dynamic varies slightly when it's only two or three of them, but for the most part, they have an entire system on how they please you.

[hiveswap]

Dissapointed with Good Omens?

-You will certainly not regret reading trigun on trigun-manga-overhaul

-full of biblical references

-comedic for the most part

-stressed guy with a very complicated relationship to religion doing his absolute best to keep his angel from getting himself killed (<- the protagonist and the antagonist are both actual biblically accurate angels)

-one braincell getting passed around like a ping pong ball but rarely getting utilised

-moral conflicts and homoerotic tension evolving into deep devotion between the main duo

-Main difference is that this is a scifi western set on an alien planet as opposed to a british romcom. But the rest of it checks out!!

[spiraledfaun]

Giving In To Kimmy

You're working late, having stayed behind at the office to finish up a project you're developing. It's been a tough few months, but you really believe in your vision. Tomorrow, you'll present it at the meeting, and they'll all see how much you put into this. You'll finally get the credit you deserve.

The sun is setting outside, it's at that point in the year where the days quickly get longer and longer. It's warm, but not aggressively so. You feel comfortable.

*Ping!* echoes gently through your headphones. You have an email from someone on your project team. It's Kimmy, and she's extremely friendly, sometimes to an exhausting extent. She's always bouncing around whenever you see her, and you frankly don't know where she gets the energy.

"Heyyyy, can you check out what i put 2gether for the meeting tommorow? wanna make sure its goodeeee 😋"

You feel yourself losing braincells just reading that.

You scroll down to the bottom, and find a .MOV attachment. It's probably a short B-roll to put in between the slides you've been working on. You doubleclick without hesitation.

The video screen pops up, all black at first. You full-screen it, to make sure you can get the best view of the video Kimmy's worked so hard on. You lean back in your chair and press play.

A black and white spiral slowly materializes from the blackness, turning and turning endlessly, filling the screen. You're confused by the direction Kimmy's taking this, but you decide to keep watching. Maybe it'll make sense soon.

The spiral continues to turn, drawing your eyes in with every rotation. A low, steady hum begins to fill your headphones. Somehow, the sound makes it easier to keep watching. You adjust slightly in your chair, jaw opening slightly.

It keeps droning on in your ears, spinning in front of your eyes, and you can't help but slow down. There's nothing more important than looking. There's nothing better than giving in completely. The thoughts surprise you for a moment, before they're quickly replaced by a new sensation: arousal.

The more you look into the spiraling symbol, letting the twirling shapes take you down, down into submission and mindlessness, the hornier you feel. You try to focus on anything else, you weakly pull your head away from the spiral's gaze, but the Spiral will not let you.

The Spiral Owns Your Mind Now.

You're not sure how much time passes after you accept that you've lost. It's all of reality for you now, looking into the eternal Spiral.

Deep, deeper down, drifting, you fall, giving your mind over to this symbol, this visual, without a thought, without any will left to fight it. The Spiral guides your eyes to cross, your tongue to hang out, and your resistance to evaporate.

The hum in your ears turns to a buzz, and the warmth between your legs spikes suddenly. And again. And again. You feel the best pleasure you've ever felt in your life before everything fades to black.

You're at work, ready to give the biggest presentation of your life so far! You think you got a good night's sleep last night, but it's hard to remember. What's important is doing the best you can to support the team.

You're all set up in the conference room, taking one last look at the slides ahead of the meeting. Everything looks to be in place, no issues whatsoever.

There's a knock at the doorframe.

"Heyyy, sleepyhead," Kimmy coos. "You excited?" She's wearing a light pink blouse that is making her breasts look... distracting.

"Absolutely--we've got this!" You smile at Kimmy, happy that teamwork is making the dream work.

She beams prettily at you. "And thanks for checking my video last night! I can't wait to show you all my ideas." Her eyelashes frame beautiful hazel eyes.

A shudder of pleasure runs up your spine, which surprises you. Do you have a crush on Kimmy? You don't think so...

"Yeah, any time, just send them over!" Your eyes dance around her face, desperate not to focus too much on her breasts. If you like Kimmy, you should try not to make her feel uncomfortable.

It's time for the meeting to start, and everyone else begins filing into the room.

She leans over to you one last time, gently pressing her side against your front to whisper in your ear. "Come find me before you head home tonight."

You begin to blush despite yourself. "Okay." Maybe you do like Kimmy.

[sea-owl]

Was rewatching Star Wars Eps 7 and 8 again and you know what fuck canon I want silly space adventures where Rey, Kylo/Ben, Poe, Finn, and Rose are all crammed together in the Millenium Falcon while Nana Ahsoka and Mama Leia (two of the few people in the galaxy Ben rightlyfully fears and makes sure the others fear them as well) pops in from time to time to make sure they're behaving. Don't know the reason they're all crammed in there, but they are for some reason that made them all temporary (to permanent) allies.

Ben starts off as Kylo, but throughout the adventure but becomes Ben again and wants to live a better life and become a better person.

Rose has zapped all the men on that ship at least once. It mainly happens when they get in her and Rey's way as their trying to do their mechanic thing on the ship.

Rose and Rey are besties

Ben and Rey are working through their dyad bond and what it truly means for them.

Finn and Poe are together and currently trying to seduce Rose into a throuple. Well Poe is being seductive, Finn is just being adorkable in his attempts. Finn's attempts work better than Poe's. Rose is just waiting for one of them to actually ask.

It's awkward for the longest time between Ben and Poe. Ex-childhood best friends turned enemies turned to reluctant allies turned to maybe friends again, am I right? But they are both the better pilots between the five of them, so they're the ones often flying the ship together. Getting shit faced together that one time has done wonders for their relationship.

Ben, Rey, and Finn have a Force study group. They gather old texts and work based off those. Ben has more practical knowledge between the three of them and sometimes tutors. He's weirdly good at it. Sometimes they get special lectures from Nana Ahsoka.

Finn was the last one to join the study group after he worked out that he's also Force sensitive. Rey was excited her other bestie was joining. Ben and Ahsoka carried on like normal. Once you've been around other Force sensitives long enough you know how to spot one a mile away. They also know Finn has a lot of other shit going on, too, and trying to learn about himself. If he wasn't ready to learn about the force, then they weren't going to push him.

Poe and Rose don't fully get the Force thing but they do know lightsaber training is hot to watch. They think lightsaber training should happen more often.

Ben and Rose are also besties, surprisingly. But like in a way that Rose basically adopted Ben like he's a feral cat. Ben got a lot of respect for Rose after the first time she zapped him.

They share four braincells between them, and Rose has permanent ownership of one. It used to be three, but Ben brought in an extra one that's usually ping ponging between him and Rey. They accidentally served it to Finn once, and now it's in permanent rotation with the others.

I'm gonna come up with more for this later but here's a start to the silly space adventures.

[kennysboxergf]

i LOVE your writing sososo much 🫶🏻 could you pretty pls do an AJ smut where he fucks up and pisses you off so he makes up for it 🤭🤭

Make Up For It ~ AJ Shabeel

Shit. Shit. Shit and fuck.

He fucked up.

And now you wouldn’t talk to him.

And he was really sad about that. Everytime he would go to kiss you, hug you, hold your hand, anything, you would turn away. And you didn’t do that often because him initiating physical contact was already a rat thing so he knew he really fucked up this time.

He walked to your room with a determination that had built from his guilt. Knocking three time (it was your code) he folded his hands in front of his crotch and waited.

10 seconds.

20.

30.

And more, the seconds turned into minutes and AJ started bouncing from foot to foot in anticipation.

1 minute.

2 minutes.

5.

No reply, AJ frowned and called out to you.

No reply, he knocked thrice once more. A ping on his phone.

“Go away” it read.

“Lemme make it up to you” he fired back.

No reply.

“Please?” He texted again.

The door opened in front of him, relief flooded his being as you face appeared in front of him. He almost gave in and went to hug you right there but one of his three braincells reminded him you wouldn’t react well to that.

“Can I come in?” He asked, a small tilt or his head and a anxious expression on his face.

You nod a little and open the door wider. He steps in his shoulders curled into him, making him smaller than he usually appears to be.

You close the door behind him.

“Baby let me-“ he starts talking, turning around as he hears the noise. You interrupt him by cupping his face and kissing him.

He squeaks in surprise but it doesn’t take long for him to wrap his hands around your waist and start kissing back. 

“I thought you were mad?” He asks once you pull away.

“I am,” You say, “but you’re gonna make it up to me aren’t you?”

“Whatever you say, ma’am,” comes the reply as he eagerly pushes you onto the bed. You land with a thud and give him a look of warning because that actually kind of hurt.

He smiles in apology and his hand start exploring up your shirt as his other hand stabilises him above you and he leans down to kiss you.

You reach up to kiss him, arching you back as his hand explores you waist, only slowly moving up to you chest.

You use your free hands to also explore his body. He was toned, even though people wouldn’t expect it. You outlined his abs and chest and just as quickly move you hand into his pants to cup his crotch from the underpants.

He lets out a noise, breaking the kiss to throw his head back. You take the opportunity to flip the two of you around, with you now sitting on his crotch, one hand on his chest and you slowly grind down.

He moans and grabs your hips guiding you to the right places. His hands love up again tugging your T-shirt up. Indulging him, you raise your hands so it can come off fully. He admires your breasts, seeing as you weren’t wearing a bra, and cups one hand around your tit, playing with your nipple.

You let out a quiet moan, but that just wouldn’t do for AJ, who flips the two of you around once more making quick work of your shorts and panties and his clothes as well, they get thrown into some random corner of the room to be found tomorrow.

The next day you are made aware that Sharky, two whole rooms down from you, heard you and AJ and that he had started plans to find another apartment to live in.

-

short and incomplete bcus I am motivated however not very productive

I might complete this later tho if anyone wants 😍

anyways love everyone of you, you’re doing well wherever you are in life, never falling behind, and tot ziens! <3

[adobe-outdesign]

Lotad review if not done yet

Lotad's pretty fun, on the grounds of both being a lily pad creature and for having six legs for no real reason. The entire line's based off of the kappa, which is a amphibious yokai with a water dish on its head and a beak. Reinventing the water dish as a lily pad is clever, and it works as a secondary theme.

Visually, the triangles on the hat create a zig-zag pattern that's built upon as it evolves, and the yellow beak provides contrast. I do wish there was more contrast between the blue body and the lily pad—maybe a light green to match Lombre—but otherwise it's a fun little guy.

I also appreciate that Lotad very clearly has a single braincell pinging around in its head like a Windows screensaver.

Lombre is probably my favorite out of these guys. I just enjoy this thing's kind of sombre personality and habit of hiding in the water and scaring people—almost feels like it could've been part dark-type if it wasn't for the rest of the line.

There are a few elements that feel a bit extraneous in the design (such as the ear and the spikes on the hands and feet—maybe those are claws, but then why aren't they red?), but otherwise it comes together pretty well. The light and darker green have good contrast and allow the red accents to really pop, and the markings help to break up the body. I also really like the weird beak shape, which is more of a beak on top and a regular jaw on bottom, with a bit of a zig-zag to keep up with that visual element.

The only other thing I question is if the red parts would've made more sense in yellow, seeing as the red, while looking nice, does just randomly pop up in this stage and then abruptly disappear again. But otherwise yeah, this is a good middle stage with a distinct identity.

Ludicolo feels like a bit of an out of nowhere turn, as we suddenly went from a sombre prankster kappa to a strangely Mexican kappa monster with some vague fruit elements integrated into it. However, it is refreshing to get a final stage that's upbeat and super fun instead of the badass-type designs we usually get, and it does still continue the kappa and lily pad themes enough that it still fits with the line.

The design itself brings the zig-zag motif into full swing by giving it both zig-zags on its fur and on its hat, which is now vaguely sombrero-like. The fruit elements in the middle of the hat and the hands are a pretty interesting way to build on its grass-typing, and the colors work well together.

If there's one issue I have with it, it's that the fur feels a bit out of place—it's just a bit strange considering kappa are amphibious creatures and it's still part water-type. Also, while the green around the eyes helps draw attention to them, it does break up the flow of the design due to the triangles going sideways instead of down like all the other zig-zag elements. But that aside, Ludicolo's a pretty entertaining design that really works better than it probably has a right to.

Overall, some fun and funky kappas with some strong visual motifs.

[caesariawritesstuff]

The Easy Ones

Summary: Edward's puzzles are only meant for the Dark Knight - so imagine his surprise when you come solving them instead.

Content Warning: Angst & Spying

Word Count: 753

● Ao3 ● X ● Retrospring ● Read on Ao3 ●

His plan was perfect. Edward had spent weeks working on every trophy, every riddle, every puzzle and quizzical conundrum. There was no way the Dark Knight would beat him this time. He’d gone over each and every equation with precision. He’d studied the bothersome detective’s toolbelt, gadgets, and arsenal a hundred times over. There was nothing – absolutely nothing – that would stop his plan.

So, when his computer pinged with a notification, alerting him that someone had come near one of his puzzles, his eyes raised up and excitement raced through his veins. Yes, this was it – this was finally the time he’d get to see the Dark Knight stumped. Edward gripped his desk tightly, his knuckles turning white. He couldn’t wait to see the slow look of dawning defeat on that stupid Bat’s face. The sheer, utter disappointment of realizing he’d been bested by Edward Nigma, the Riddler, of all people!

But to his surprise, it was not the Dark Knight at all.

In fact, it was you. Edward frowned, his brows furrowed. What have we here? he wondered. This wasn’t part of his plan.

He sat back in his seat, some of the tension loosening in his shoulders. Unexpected variables made his stomach twist in knots. He’d spent too long designing this carefully crafted conundrum to watch it be ruined by some insolent little pest. It was no matter, however. You would give up eventually; there was no way you were smart enough to solve his puzzles.

A small smirk touched the corners of his mouth as he watched you examine everything he’d set in place. Watched the quizzical look of confusion appear on your expression. But to his absolute, utter shock – you turned on your heels and quickly finagled with the few buttons and gizmos laid out, and the little cage around his trophy opened.

“What? You solved it?” he screamed, jumping to his feet. “No, no, no. That wasn’t for you, you little pest.”

He grinded his teeth together. That was for the Dark Knight. Everything was ruined; how was Edward going to best the Batman when he was one puzzle short? He collapsed back into his seat and ran a hand through his hair, sucking in a breath. It was no matter. He had dozens of backup trophies on hand, it could be replenished. All he needed was one of his goons to go out and get the job done.

He shouted for one of his men to come in, and when they had, he gave the orders. When the thug was left, he returned his attention to the monitor. You were gone now, finally. He searched the next set of monitors in hopes of the Dark Knight. Wondering when the bothersome bat would come solving one of his queries.

Then, there was another ping and the same excitement rushed through him. But his eyes strayed to one of the dozen monitors before him and his frown deepened.

There you were again. His trophy in your hands, cradled against you like a prized possession. Irritation flickered in his veins and he crossed his arms.

“There’s no way you can get lucky twice,” he said aloud. “No one is smart enough to solve another of my puzzles.”

He watched you move about the several different contraptions, studying them. If you were smarter, you’d have solved it by now. This puzzle wasn’t even that hard; perhaps you truly did possess only one braincell. His frown slowly curved into a smile as your shoulders slumped in defeat, as it looked as though you were finally going to give up. His pride swelled deep within his chest.

No one outsmarts me, he thought. But just as quickly as it passed through his mind, you stomped forward and pressed each button on the contraptions in the right order – and the little cage sprang open once more, revealing his trophy inside.

“No,” Edward said, slamming his hands down on his desk, causing the monitors to rattle. Rage flickered in his stomach, spreading through him like wildfire. Another one of his precious trophies in your greedy, grubby hands.

How dare you think you could out best him. Slowly, he sank bank into his seat, eyes narrowing as he watched your next move. It was no matter, there was no way you’d solve a third. You’d only gotten lucky twice, yes of course, that’s all it was. There was simply no way you were smart enough to solve a third.

After all, those were the easy ones.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 24

"Your dress is here"

Yennefer read the text message from Geralt and immediately started tapping out a reply, "Send me a picture, please"

The dress was for her friend's upcoming wedding. She had been assured that it was not going to be one of those hideous bridesmaid's dresses that everyone usually picked. Most of them were either lackluster, or just plain outrageous.

Hopefully her friend kept her word. She would find out any minute now.

What the h*ll was taking Geralt so long to send the picture?

She was just about to text Geralt and tell him to hurry the f**k up, when her phone pinged.

"F***ing finally!", she muttered as she opened the message. Her hand flew to her mouth when she saw the photo.

There was Jaskier, sitting at her bedroom window, like a classical painting of a dramatically posed forlorn maiden. Or a woman on the cover of an 80's mass market paperback romance novel.

He was wearing her bridesmaid's dress.

He looked good in the light yellow chiffon...

And the dress was gorgeous, so win-win.

Okay, she was saving that one.

Yennefer texted, "You could have at least done his hair and makeup!" She chuckled when moments later, she received a photo of Jaskier with badly applied lipstick.

That picture definitely had blackmail potential!

"That shade of red is too dark. Now put my dress in the closet and get out of my room."

"And tell Jaskier not to touch my stuff!"

Geralt and Jaskier carefully put the dress on a clothes hanger and hung it in the closet. It was then that Jaskier spied a pair of Yennefer's yoga pants. He grabbed them, and started pulling them on.

"Take those off," Geralt warned.

"Oh, hush--holy sh*t look how good my a** looks in these!" Jaskier exclaimed as he turned and looked at his backside in the full length mirror on the wall.

Geralt rumbled nervously, "Put those back and let's go already! She literally just said for you not to f**k with her stuff!"

Jaskier grinned as a thought occured to him, and he stripped the pants off and held them out to Geralt.

"I bet your a** would look good in these too!"

"No."

"Come on, haven't you ever thought about wearing them, even once?"

"No."

"Come on, Geralt. You know you've got the legs and a** to pull these off! Aren't you even a little bit curious about how you'd look?"

Ok, maybe he was just a little curious. Yennefer would wear those things around the house, claiming they were super comfortable. And now that he thought about it, they were basically just a stretchy version of the trousers he usually wore, right? But then again, they were Yennefer's yoga pants, and this could all go so terribly wrong... Best to err on the side of caution and not wake up dead.

"Yennefer said for you not to touch her stuff.", Geralt replied.

"But she didn't say anything about you not touching her stuff."

Geralt hesitated as his brain whispered: he's got a point, you know.

"But..."

"Your butt. In these!" Jaskier countered, giving the yoga pants an encouraging shake. Geralt looked at Jaskier, who was all smiles and excitement, and his last functioning braincell put up an Out to Lunch sign and f**ked off.

"Gimmie those!"

Geralt: *struggling to pull up the yoga pants*

Jaskier: "Lose the undies"

Geralt: *uncomfortable "hmm"*

Jaskier: "They're adding extra bulk, and you've already got enough of your own."

Geralt: Hm!

Geralt grumbled, but decided to follow the suggestion. No sense in accidentally ripping Yennefer's pants and having to explain what happened. It was several more minutes of struggle, with Jaskier alternately laughing, and offering unhelpful advice and comments, but Geralt finally managed to squeeze himself into the gray stretchy pants.

He looked at himself in the mirror.

"I told you," Jaskier laughed, "your a** looks great!"

Geralt regarded himself in the mirror. The pants were so very, very form-fitting. The fabric was very thin and stretchy, and Geralt realised, with growing dismay, that you could just about see a nice outline of everything. He felt so d*mn exposed.

But they were very comfortable...

Hmmm.

10/10 for ease of movement, but 0/10 for the feeling of being bucka** nekkid.

"Come on, give us a strut," Jaskier said, demonstrating as he did a ridiculous little walk by the mirror, wearing Yennefer's black yoga pants.

Geralt did a tentative strut, following Jaskier around the room. He felt ridiculous at first, but then decided f**k it, let's have a little fun, and let loose. He almost threw his back out twerking, but it was worth it to see Jaskier keeling over with breathless laughter.

A dance competition ensued, but there was no clear winner because neither of them could stop laughing long enough to focus on making up any kind of scoring system.

Doped up on confidence and serotonin, Geralt only hesitated a little when Jaskier said "Let's go give the neighborhood and eyeful!"

Geralt: Hm...(Hesitant)

Jaskier: Come on, it'll be fun!"

Geralt: Hmm

Jaskier: Just once around the block! Come on, Geralt! You go jogging all the time in those tiny 80's gym shorts. They are so short, I don't know how you aren't falling out of a leg with every step! At least these have full coverage, and actual legs!

Geralt: I don't know... What if there are people out there and they see me?

Jaskier: Oh, no! Not people! Gods forbid they see you jogging in athletic wear that has an inseam of more than 2.5 inches!

Geralt glowered, but gave in. Jaskier was right. The vintage shorts he usually wore to jog in actually did have an inseam of only 2.5 inches, and he'd never cared that other people were out and about when he went on his runs.

Geralt: ...

The next thing Geralt knows, he and Jaskier are jogging around the block in their respective borrowed yoga pants. Geralt is starting to relax, the apprehension wearing off as he focuses on jogging.

He doesn't even care anymore that he isn't wearing a shirt. The woman jogging in the opposite direction didn't appear to mind either, judging from the appreciative glance she throws him as she passes.

Jaskier, jogging along beside him, spots the approaching woman, and sees a perfect opportunity. He slows down to get behind Geralt to give the woman room to pass, and quickly takes out his phone. He watched the woman's eyes surreptitiously follow the bouncing balls as she jogged past Geralt, then sneak a quick peak at the rear view.

He caught her eye and gave her a cheeky wink.

Yennefer was just on her way back to the Conclave meeting after stepping out to get herself a quick drink, when her phone pinged. It was a message from Jaskier. She sighed, wondering what a**hattery he was going to inform her of now.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

Yennefer stared at the photo.

It was Geralt, or more specifically, his backside, and he was wearing a pair gray yoga pants.

It took her a second to realized that those were her gray yoga pants he was wearing.

They were stretched so tight, they looked like they had been painted on. She could see every finely sculpture curve.

Yennefer was impressed with how well they held up under the strain of containing that absolute unit of an a**, and those thighs... She couldn't even be mad.

She teased Geralt about it when she got home, showing him the picture and complimenting him on his assets.

She even changed Geralt's caller ID image on her phone to the photo of him in her yoga pants.

But it wasn't even the entire picture. It had been strategically cropped. Now, anytime he called her, what popped up was the picture of just his a** in those gray yoga pants.

[meltypancake]

hellooo !!

i’m curious how eliane gets along with the rest of the blue lions ? or just any other significant relationships she has with any students at the monastery haha :0

hallo!!! thank you for the ask, it activated so many braincells c:

i'll cover her relationship with the blue lions in the early academy days for now ♪(´▽｀) ranked by friendship level, here we go!!

people she's close to ↓

annette 😊💖💖 precious pal

A+ study buddy and the true reason why eliane hasn't missed the majority of morning classes

she has caught herself removing the pebbles off a road, thinking annette would and could trip on them (´。＿。｀)

there are too many pebbles in this world. she'll just have to settle with catching her friend every time she stumbles

ashe 🥹😊💖 fun to tease

eliane felt an instant kinship with ashe! fellow commoners with a shared interest in herbology make for a great team (^^ゞ

much to his chagrin, she's also way into the spookies. tales of ghosts haunting the monastery really get her going and he would like none of that, thank you very much

she makes him a potpourri pouch filled with ghost-repelling herbs. he ties it to his evil-repelling amulet.

mercedes😊💖💖 provider of snacks and comfort

being around mercedes makes her feel so cared for, she's the older sister she's always dreamed of (´▽｀)

they are both waaay too easy-going for their own good though... empires will rise and fall while they munch on homemade sweets

on friendly terms ↓

ingrid 😋🥔 bonding bites

these two have the most riveting discussions about which tavern offers the juiciest cut of meat. they find time to record a whole tier list of dining hall dishes in a shared journal

ingrid is her best, most faithful taste tester! food truly is the cornerstone of society

dedue 😯🙂 a greenhouse regular she's curious about

she always assumed he was some kind of plant magician. apparently magic isn't his forte, so what the heck is up with that green thumb?

he makes sure to teach her the basics of gardening (before she can ruin the flower bed). the first time her seeds actually end up sprouting, she runs all over the monastery looking to show him

(adding him in the list for completion's sake) dimitri 🙂 nice, but a little uptight

rather distant ↓

felix 🙂 amicable (entirely one-sided)

he's so blunt unlike the whole lot of flowery nobles, there's no second-guessing the meaning of his words which eliane likes. she's pretty fond of him! he finds her rather annoying though (oﾟvﾟ)ノ

eliane will seek out felix for a spar, get obliterated until he's fed up entertaining small fry and he shuffles off as she lays defeated (though not disheartened). rinse and repeat

any verbal abuse goes in through one ear and out the other with her. what a gremlin

sylvain 😐🤨😑 ?????

eliane has incredibly mixed feelings about sylvain which get progressively worse the more she gets to know him

he ping pongs between being genuinely helpful and sensible while also making girls cry on a daily basis... and it would make her life a lot easier if he could just choose one and stick with it !!!

any attempts to flirt with her get shut down. on a different note, she's a little miffed he never trains or studies yet still gets better grades than her

at the end of the academy phase she's become more or less close to everyone in the blue lions, except maybe felix. he's not the type to be all buddy-buddy anyway (‾◡◝)

thank you for reaching the end!!! c:

[little-mouse-adventures]

The reason so much nonsense happens at Fowl Manor isn't because of magic residue or old money insanity, it's because Domovoi "I'm the oldest so I know best" Butler, Tim "My house, my rules" Fowl, Angeline "I'm the lady of the house and real gentlemen always listen to a lady" Fowl, and Artemis "I'm a certified genius so what I say goes" Fowl II share at most two braincells that just bounce around like ping-pong balls, and it's only on obscenely rare occasions that any one of them has possession of both braincells at the same time.

[unova-ace-of-sharp]

any tips on how to introduce new pokemon to each other? I’m going back home for the winter holiday break at uni, and I’m going to have to introduce Spite (Pawniard) to Monochrome (Unfezant) and Hexagon (Boldore)— and I want to, anyways, since Mono and Hex are my partner pokemon, and unless things drastically change I think Spite’s stickin’ with me. Current plan was to move very slowly, introduce ‘em in their pokeballs first before moving on to face-to-face interactions. I’m the most worried about Spite being either a: territorial around Monochrome and provoking him or b: being terrified of Monochrome and hiding the whole time. While of course anything can happen, Monochrome only tends to get territorial in certain seasons, and otherwise gets along with most of the trained & wild pokemon that I’ve run into with him. And Hexagon, arceus bless him, has about one braincell pinging about max, and that braincell is not devoted to causing drama. So I’m primarily concerned about the least trained pokemon in this situation. If anyone has any suggestions to make the transition smoother, I’m all ears.