sea-owl

[sea-owl]

I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're gonna talk about how it is heavily implied that the avengers could have won if they had been together in infinity war and how that implies that Thanos would have lost if Tony decided to seduce Steve Rogers instead of divorcing him.

[sea-owl]

Ya'll remember that Chrismas special with the early 2000s Justice Leauge cartoon where Shayera started an alien bar fight.

That innocent look she pulled not even five seconds after bashing that guy's hand in and handing her mace off to John. I see why she was made a spy.

[sea-owl]

Mystery of the sexy paintings au

Today on another episode of aus I talk about with @seaowl when I am high on energy drinks

Mystery of the sexy paintings au

In which 17yo Gareth St Claire, good for nothing, except painting riske pictures that get him into trouble in the uni, comes up with a plan to con the ton into buying his amateur paintings for an exorbitant price, so he can get the cash he needs to pay for tuition. Enter, his friends/models. Who were nice enough to model for him for free.

The problem is, that the Bridgertons may have made mysterious French painter Gautier-Gautier / 17yo Gareth, rich overnight, but also, now they’re trying to discover his identity. How was Gareth supposed to know his friends attracted so many lunatics.

Sophie, he can understand, Benedict was the initial target of this whole fake art show business. Con the delusional rich guy into buying the painting of odalisque Lady in Silver (wearing a mask and a transparent sheet). But what he didn’t expect was that Benedict would fall inlove at first sight and make a shrine for the painting in his room. Benedict also makes his sister’s lady’s maid clean the shrine, who happens to be Sophie. The very same Sophie who got so fed up with Benedict’s Lady in Silver delulu after a masquerade a year ago, that she was willing to pose semi naked for Gareth and was 100% unapologetic about conning the Benedict out of millions in cash. Now she’s cleaning a shrine to the painting of her own semi naked body and this close to killing Benedict.

  Kate, well Gareth doesn’t even know why Kate agreed to let him paint her naked back and buttocks in all their sultry and exquisite glory. All he knows is that she felt sorry for him and that some guy she disliked said she was uptight and priggish and hadn’t done one wild thing in her life, so Kate told Gareth to paint her buttocks on top of a mushroom and get as much cash as he could manage from auctioning off her likeness. Gareth thinks Kate may hate him, because a furious Anthony Bridgerton saw the painting and immediately had people looking for Gautier-Gautier. Gareth knows Anthony can’t prove the naked back-buttocks model in the painting is Kate, but boy is the man trying his best to make Kate confess to her evil misdeeds. He also knows from Sophie that Anthony keeps Kate’s painting in a secret place only he can enter and that he spends way way too much time there. On the bright side, Anthony paid a lot of money for the faceless mushroom fairy, so Gareth has to thank Kate for her honorable, if spiteful gift of charity.

Penelope volunteered to help Gareth because she thought his paintings of Sophie and Kate were beautiful and she was even fine with her face being visible because in her reasoning, nobody would recognize HER wearing negligee anyway, she was a wallflower, if people saw the resemblance, well, redheads were a dime a dozen in popular paintings, nobody would think it was her. Gareth thought so too, and he was happy to help Penelope get in touch with her desirable femininity by painting her as the goddess of love. He was proud of the redhead seductress he painted. That is until another furious Bridgerton walked away from the art show with the painting AND the woman he clearly recognized in tow. Gareth doesn’t know much about Colin Bridgerton, but he looked about to shoot somebody the moment he saw Penelope, and the painting of the goddess of love that everyone was admiring. Penelope at least tried to explain, but Colin was fit to be tied. Gareth really hopes his friend is okay and not locked away somewhere being ravished by Colin Bridgerton. the man did pay an exorbitant amount of money for the painting, but Gareth is okay with accusing Colin of kidnapping Penelope if he doesn’t hear from her in a few days.   

Phillip, okay yes Gareth did it on purpose, he painted the man as a dark sexy demon wearing a loincloth, but to be fair Gareth asked for help, Phillip said no, because #thinkOfMyChildren, so Gareth had to resort to blackmail. And while, yes it is wrong for Gareth to use Phillip’s sad depressive diary against him, it was also wrong of Phillip to say no to posing semi-nude for Gareth’s moneymaking schemes. What better way to celebrate being in London for a hot widowed father than to do Gareth a favor.  In the end the bidding war among the thirsty debutantes made loin cloth fire demon the hit of the night, I mean Eloise Bridgerton probably bankrupted a few years of her allowance with how much she put on the pot to take the painting. Now Phillip is complaining that Eloise is sniffing around too much when he’s shirtless in the gardens trying to teach his kids about plants. Honestly for Gareth that sounds like the opposite of a problem, but Phillip has this thing called modesty that Gareth can’t quite get.

Look at cousin Simon and his boxing buddy Michael, they were both good sports about being part of the art show. Sure Simon almost fainted with Daphne Bridgerton began arguing with her brother about the whole ‘if you can take the mushroom fairy, I can take the semi naked warrior, so give me the money’ ordeal, because you know, Anthony was Simon’s university pal and could recognize those warrior biceps anywhere. But in the end, he couldn’t deny Daphne her wish without explaining that she was thirsting over semi naked Simon, and giving up the mushroom fairy painting that other gentlemen were eying with envy was a non negotiable. Daphne walked away with her painting and so did dowager duchess Francesca Stirling, who took one look at Archangel Michael’s painting, paid a king’s ransom for it and walked out without so much as looking around, you gotta admire a woman on a mission really.  

Lucy’s painting was probably the less risque of the lot, because while she was only a year older than him, she still wanted to participate in the gautier-gautier moneymaking scheme and help Gareth, so Gareth painted her as a beautiful mermaid, in honor of their childhood friendship. She was dressed…sort of. I mean look at Greg Bridgerton, he bought it for her didn’t he? He thinks the art looks pretty. He thinks the art looks like Lucy. And with the way Greg talks about the mermaid, Gareth wonders how the man can be so dense. But that’s Lucy’s problem to worry about.

Enter his current problem. Debutate and diamond extraordinaire, way too perceptive to be sixteen, Hyacinth Bridgerton, who apparently knows all about Gareth’s secret identity as Gautier-Gautier and is threatening to let her siblings know, unless Gareth gives her a self portrait… for free.  

An: I’m thinking about writing a drabble about this, mainly just the part of Gareth and the fabulous seven coming up with the idea and actually implementing it. tagging @sea-owl my au loving buddy who is okay with hearing me ramble

[sea-owl]

The first text Steve gets on the flip phone, after he was falsly declared dead by TMZ

(I stole this idea from @sasukesun)

[sea-owl]

I'm bored and haven't done a spouses friend group post in a while.

The guys walk in on the girls doing something that looks like a mixture of twister and Kate, Sophie, and Michaela trying to sacrifice Penelope. Lucy is off to the side reading aloud from a book.

Michael: What are you doing?

Phillip: Should we be worried?

Simon: *sighs in tired dad friend*

Gareth: *goes over to Lucy to see what book she's reading from*

Penelope, who has one leg over Sophie's shoulder, half laying on Kate, and one hand in Michaela's hair: We're trying to figure out this position the author is describing.

Kate: There's so many body parts moving all at once that we don't even know who's arm or leg belongs to who.

Lucy, who is still reading: We're pretty sure we missed a paragraph too. I think Michaela is supposed to be leaning in towards Kate.

Michaela: With Pen's hand in my hair?

Lucy nods: And Penelope you other leg is supposed to be wrapped around Sophie's waist.

Sophie as soon as Penelope's leg is wrapped around her waist: I think the author forgot one of your legs was already on my shoulder because this does not seem like a good postion to fuck in.

[sea-owl]

Penelope: always remember, if you're ever losing an argument with your husband you're always one boob flashing away from winning it anyway

Sophie: uhh I don't think that counts as good adv....

Kate: no, no she's right, let her speak

[sea-owl]

Nah, could imagine if they took the song, it starts with sorry further in Hazbin Hotel. Like Charlie continues her gentle parenting and makes her parents and all the other people who were in that garden apologize for what happened back then.

Actually watch them pull a Steven Universe have Charlie take on the sins of her parents.

[sea-owl]

Trick or treat?

Treat

[sea-owl]

Hazbin Hotel AU idea

I fell down a rabbit hole, and this idea won't leave me alone. So I actually really like the theory of Eve becoming Roo eventually after the apple and her death. I also like this idea they already kinda started in the show of the evil women being maternal, which we've seen with overlords Carmilla and Rosie.

So the idea starts that Eve sees the exterminations of her descendants and decides everyone in charge needs to go. She loves her children, the sinners and the winners, and she already hates the rulers of Heaven and Hell. The exterminations are the final straw. But she is also a smart woman and knows that she needs to have something ready to replace those rulers.

So she sits against the tree of knowledge, letting herself mentally pass through the roots that run deep through heaven and hell. In her visions, she eventually sees two little girls, one an angel named Emily, the other a demon named Charlie.

Eve smiles, an idea forming in her mind. It looks like she has two new children to raise.

Now Eve won't outright kidnap the girls, but through magic, she brings them to her in their sleep. She'll teach them lessons needed to be poper leaders and most importantly she'll foster empathy.

"Call me Auntie," she tells them.

Charlie and Emily always think their time with Eve is only a dream. Memories foggy by the time they wake, but the lessons stick. Eve can tell when she checks in on them.

Eve tries to be a teacher only at first, but soon finds her maternal side taking over. More times than she cares to admit she has comforted each girl, listened to them, loved them like they were her own.

When Eve wasn't with the girls, she was sowing discord towards the current rulers. She kept an eye on each relm, pulling strings as she needed. What is a ruler's woth after all when their subjects turn against them?

Eve finds the discord she sows among Heaven's elite good practice for Emily. With her in charge of keeping others happy she has to apply her ability to read people and what makes them tick.

When Charlie gets her idea to redeem sinners Eve felt proud of the girl. It had been a few years since she pulled Charlie to her in her dreams but this was an excellent step in the right direction. A stepping stone for her to become the Queen of Hell.

Eve searches among her overlords, she needs a closer eye kept on Charlie than what she's been able to do on her own.

[sea-owl]

Probably an unpopular opinion but I think it be more interesting if Lilith did share some personality traits with Adam. Especially if Charlie started to see those similarities after having interacted with Adam and has her rethink what she knows about her mom.

[sea-owl]

Back on my bullshit. Ignore histories and timelines, and my made up empire. We don't give a shit about that here.

So, an au where when Colin was out traveling, he was visiting an empire similar to ancient Greece or Rome. He met up with a few local lords, and the next thing Edmund and Violet know their third born son is writing home that he's engaged. Colin also wrote that his fiancé and her family are traveling back with him to meet the other Bridgertons.

Well damn the family's curiosity is peaked. Through different letters to different family members, they put together that Colin's fiancé is named Penelope, and she was the daughter of a senator, though her family's power came from her maternal line, though Colin doesn't say how. She has three sisters, two currently married, and one is coming with her on the trip to England. Her mother Portia is also coming. And to Violet's delight, her son was clearly in love with this girl.

Edmund has a few additional rooms set up at Aubrey Hall. By the time they get here, the season will be over, and the family return to the countryside.

In preparation, Violet asked around about the empire her son was returning from, hoping to gain some knowledge to start conversations with the girl and her family. Most of it was, of course, gossip and rumors, but at least it's something to start with.

Edmund and Violet had prepared, but they were not prepared for the woman who stepped out of the carriage.

The woman took in her surroundings, including taking in her new hosts, before letting out a small laugh. "Cute."

She then turns back to two others who must be her daughters, and Colin.

Colin finally noticed his family who were starting to gather on the front steps. "Family! I would like to introduce you to my fiancé and her family."

Dinner had been full of questions for Penelope. Some were jokes at Colin for finally settling down. It wasn't until later when the children were playing some after dinner games that Edmund and Violet got a chance to talk to Portia one on one.

Her stare felt like she was trying to read them. It reminded Edmund of some of the other lords in the house. Well she was the wife of a senator, maybe some of it rubbed off on her.

"Well I must say I wasn't expecting this when Colin decided to travel," Violet said, starting a conversation.

"Hmm, indeed," Portia hummed in agreement. "Though I suppose it's for the best. Penelope has worked so hard and always did desire a genuine love match. With Mr. Bridgerton she can be assured that it is a true love match."

"Colin mentioned it was your family that held more influence," Edmund said. "Is that what made it difficult to find a love match?"

Portia nodded. "Every noble son in the empire wants a chance to marry one of the Emperor's nieces. Especially since my brother has yet to produce his own heir."

Violet and Edmund choked on their wine.

Portia let out a small smirk, lost in her thoughts. "It was quite satisfying though when news spread of Penelope and Mr. Bridgerton's engagement. I thought Felician was going to fall over laughing when he heard the news."

[sea-owl]

Was looking up pictures of Polly Walker for inspiration and came across this one from her time in the show Rome.

The coral details, her curls, those eyes. It's giving Mermaid Queen Portia in her human form. I like to think this is happening during one of the first human parties she attends with her wife. She's watching some cocky lord's swordsmanship, who you can tell never has any practical experience at all. She's debating going over their herself or sending Prudence.

Eh why the hell not. It's been a while since she could have some fun.

Meanwhile, Violet is watching her wife whip those young lords into shape. She's never quite liked that Fife fellow.

[sea-owl]

So a new anime came out, and I'm sorry y'all but all I'm focusing on is the ML, and why did his parents name him like that?

The ML's name is Prince Duke. They named their son, the crown prince, after a noble title. Does that title not exist in this world? Why would you name your son and heir that?

If someone knows this storyline can they please tell me if his family lives in the northern part of the kingdom. Is he the cold prince AND the duke of the north? Because that would be hilarious.

[sea-owl]

Steve practiced spiteful compliance by not posting horny tweets on the SHIELD account, but instead, he posts the most sappiest tweets about Tony you have ever read. It's all child friendly like SHIELD wanted and he still gets to post about his favorite fella.

He has a bunch of teen girls following this Twitter like it's their favorite ya novel. It's the slowest of slow burns, but they need to see how it's ends. They're rooting for that haply ending.

@aurumacadicus latest post of Natasha having Steve read thrist tweets from Tony's burner accounts (link here) had me thinking about Steve's thrist tweets.

Tony may have ten plus burner accounts ranging from how horny each tweet is, but Steve is just horny on main. He has two accounts, one for Steve Rogers and one for Capitan America, and he will post thirst tweets on both. Generally, he prefers to keep the Iron Man thrist tweets on his Captian America account and the Tony Stark ones on his Steve Rogers account, but he sometimes forgets to switch accounts.

The range of tweets goes from I want him to sit on my face to poetic smut. Sometimes, read when the horny courgage hits, the tweets have art attached that would be fine on their own, but attached to the tweet brings a whole new image. Like that one of Tony's hands. On its own, it just looks like a study of drawing hands, but Steve attached it to some very detailed thristing.

Steve has no shame when it comes to his thirst tweets. It's not like Tony looks at Steve's social media anyway, despite Steve wanting him too.

[sea-owl]

@aurumacadicus latest post of Natasha having Steve read thrist tweets from Tony's burner accounts (link here) had me thinking about Steve's thrist tweets.

Tony may have ten plus burner accounts ranging from how horny each tweet is, but Steve is just horny on main. He has two accounts, one for Steve Rogers and one for Capitan America, and he will post thirst tweets on both. Generally, he prefers to keep the Iron Man thrist tweets on his Captian America account and the Tony Stark ones on his Steve Rogers account, but he sometimes forgets to switch accounts.

The range of tweets goes from I want him to sit on my face to poetic smut. Sometimes, read when the horny courgage hits, the tweets have art attached that would be fine on their own, but attached to the tweet brings a whole new image. Like that one of Tony's hands. On its own, it just looks like a study of drawing hands, but Steve attached it to some very detailed thristing.

Steve has no shame when it comes to his thirst tweets. It's not like Tony looks at Steve's social media anyway, despite Steve wanting him too.

[sea-owl]

I need a modern au focused on Eloise being the too independent sibling that has a lot of different jobs because she's trying to find her niche in life, so everyone is used to her frequently disappearing during family functions and just showing up with random plus ones half an hour later because nobody pays much attention to her doings until she starts introducing everyone.

--

" And where did you find this girl again?"

" This is Penelope, her mother was telling she's ugly in a Walmart parking lot, so I asked if she wanted to come to my brother's highschool graduation party and here we are, Penelope, this is Colin"

" Hi Colin, sorry about knocking you off your feet"

" it's okay, I have a feeling we're going to be very good friends"

----

" Eloise why is this guy here?"

" Simon? Oh I found him crying over a breakup in a frat party on campus, couldn't exactly leave him there!, I know I forgot it was your turn to host the Family Thanksgiving potluck Daphne, but I'll make it up to you on Christmas, anyway I'm going to the kitchen to help sober him up, can you believe some girl was fake dating him and got mad when he said he didn't want kids? Ugh, breakups am I right?"

" Hi Daph... Ummm about that fake dating business..."

---

" why is our maid your plus one Eloise?"

" hey, this maid is my new best friend now, since Colin stole Penelope already, she's never been to a wedding before and she's consoling me in my grief"

" Im Benedict"

" Sophie"

" Hey didn't I dance with you at my mother's masquerade last year?"

----

" You brought who to Anthony's man of the year award?"

" The Stirlings, oh it's not what your thinking Francesca!, they're total gentlemen, Michael here was telling me about his days in the army and John is an excellent poet"

" they're male escorts Eloise!!"

" And I'm not paying them, they just came with for the vibes!!"

"Anthony won't believe that, and you better go greet him before he finds out...you two sirs, come with me"

" of course beautiful, I'm Michael"

" A pleasure to be led away by you Miss, I'm John"

-------

" this time, this is the day our brother does kill you"

" How am I the bad guy? I just stopped a good work friend from going back to India by inviting her to our family annual pall mall game! How was I supposed to know she was the sister of Anthony's current victim"

" the word is Fiancee and that sister is the reason there will be no Anthony Edwina wedding"

" And I'm just finding out now? Why does nobody tell me anything in this family!! I've known Kate longer than him"

-------

" please tell me this guy isn't another one of your friends, please tell me that for once in your life you brought an actual date to a family event Eloise"

" Actually yes... Phillip this is my brother Anthony, Anthony this is Phillip, boyfriend turned future husband, I'm marrying him in the summer, we thought it would be nice to announce it during the Bridgerton Christmas family reunion, also here are Oliver and Amanda my new step kids"

" Nice to meet you um Anthony, I ah, didn't know Eloise hadn't told you we were dating"

" MOTHEEEEEER ELOISE BROUGHT ANOTHER STRAY HOME!"

----

An: I would love to see something like this because it would be hilarious

[sea-owl]

Can I make an Au of your "spouse friend group" au for bridgerton?

Have fun and tag me with what you create!